Fart Like A Man with Jim Florentine

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly Episode Title: Fart Like A Man with Jim Florentine Release Date: November 27, 2024

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Introduction

In this uproarious episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, the hosts delve into the often-taboo topic of flatulence, exploring its place in male camaraderie and social settings. Joined by the charismatic comedian Jim Florentine, the conversation navigates through personal anecdotes, societal norms, and the humorous side of human biology. Listeners are treated to blunt and candid discussions that blend humor with relatable experiences, all set against the backdrop of the hosts' signature banter.

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Main Discussion

Farting Etiquette and Social Norms

The episode kicks off with a lighthearted yet candid exploration of farting etiquette among men. Jim Florentine shares his experiences in traditionally "alpha male" environments, highlighting the awkwardness and unexpected reactions that can ensue.

• Jim Florentine: "Men fart. Men don't mind fart. But it's fun, it's funny, it's a thing, you know, that happens." [03:15]

Jim recounts instances where his natural bodily functions were met with disdain rather than camaraderie, such as in cigar lounges and men’s clubs. The hosts discuss the disconnect between the expectation of rugged masculinity and the natural human urge to fart, emphasizing the comedic potential in these situations.

Personal Anecdotes and Stories

The dialogue shifts to personal stories, with both hosts and Jim sharing memorable (and often hilarious) moments related to farting. One standout story involves High Five Casino, where Jim humorously describes how excessive flatulence almost led to an emergency plane landing.

• Big J Okerson: "We're talking to a guy who almost had a fucking airline land a plane because your gas was so bad. They were, they made... Am I lying?" [08:56]

Bobby Kelly reflects on his own experiences, including a poignant moment where he connects the smell of a cigarette mixed with bathroom odors to childhood memories of his father's apathetic behavior.

• Bobby Kelly: "One of the most emotional moments I've ever had in my life was realizing the one time I ever, once and only once, only, I smoked a cigarette while taking a shit." [10:23]

These stories not only provide comedic relief but also offer deeper insights into how seemingly trivial bodily functions can intersect with personal histories and social interactions.

Drug Discussions

As the conversation progresses, the topic shifts to drugs, particularly focusing on recreational substances like Molly (MDMA) and their impact on social behavior and mental health. Christine, a recurring guest, shares her experiences with Molly, highlighting both the temporary euphoria and the subsequent depressive states that follow.

• Christine: "I found a way to overdo it... It takes all your serotonin and just drains it out of you and, like, pushes it where you. Like, all your happiness is there for the night." [35:37]

Jim and Big J discuss the dangers of adulterated drugs, particularly the prevalence of fentanyl in Molly pills, emphasizing the serious risks associated with their use.

• Jim Florentine: "Fentanyl, like, a really small amount, it would just kill you." [37:08]

These segments provide a sobering counterpoint to the humor, addressing the real-life consequences of drug misuse within the context of their lively discussion.

Relationships and Social Behavior

The hosts and Jim also delve into how bodily functions like farting intersect with romantic relationships. Bobby shares his reluctance to fart in front of his partner, Christine, to avoid appearing "disgusting," while Jim humorously debates the challenges of maintaining masculinity while being open about natural bodily processes.

• Bobby Kelly: "I don't want her to think I'm grim, you know, I mean, I want her to think I wanted her to think I'm like an all right looking, not disgusting human being." [12:00]

The conversation extends to parenting, with anecdotes about their children’s humorous interactions with flatulence, further blending relatable family dynamics with comedic storytelling.

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Guest Introduction: Jim Florentine

Jim Florentine, a seasoned comedian known for his sharp wit and candid storytelling, brings a unique perspective to the episode. His ability to navigate uncomfortable topics with humor makes him a perfect fit for this installment of The Bonfire. Throughout the episode, Jim's insights and personal stories enrich the conversation, offering listeners both laughs and thoughtful reflections.

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Notable Quotes

• Jim Florentine: "Men fart in front of. I'm a member of a cigar lounge. I'm American. And a boys club." [03:35]
• Bobby Kelly: "It's not how it works. It's more. But you do it in front of these guys and they look at you like you just touched a baby in her vagina." [04:10]
• Jim Florentine: "I'm being me. I'm being me. 20, 24 and the rest of 25." [24:50]
• Christine: "It's more. I think the only time I stopped. It is when they're going to put up land the plane." [19:43]
• Jim Florentine: "Oh, God. Oh, God. I don't know who's in the band." [39:38]

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire masterfully balances humor with genuine discussion, using the universal topic of farting to explore deeper themes of masculinity, social norms, and personal relationships. Jim Florentine's comedic prowess complements the hosts' engaging banter, making for an entertaining and thought-provoking listen. Whether you're tuning in for the laughs or the relatable storytelling, "Fart Like A Man with Jim Florentine" delivers a memorable and insightful experience that resonates long after the episode ends.

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Final Thoughts

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly continues to push boundaries by tackling topics that are often left undiscussed with such openness and humor. This episode stands out for its ability to turn a simple subject into a rich tapestry of stories and reflections, showcasing the hosts' and guest's talents in engaging their audience through laughter and honesty.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

You know guys, when it's time to tame the mane, don't settle for just any cut. Head straight to sport clips. Right now, the pros in men's hair. Have you ever checked out a sports clips, Bobby?

[Jim Florentine]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sport clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the hail Marys for the football field because sport clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan to give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk. Bobby, you love guy places.

[Jim Florentine]

I love guy talk and I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best place for me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the tv and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like sport clips. It's a game changer. High Five Casino, everybody. High Five casino lets you play your favorite slot in live table games like blackjack with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.

[Jim Florentine]

High Five Casino has a giant selection of over 1200 games, including hundreds of exclusive games only found on High Five Casino. It's always free to play and free coins are given out every four hours.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Jim Florentine]

Bad, bad, bad, bad boy. You make me feel so good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby likes hanging out with bad boys at cigar clubs.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, Jim, I've gotten for the last, I don't know, I'd say 57 minutes that cause I. I like hanging. Now mind you, I've been getting shit about being a doing manly stuff for the last hour by a country twink and a fruit with pink. Pink fines. These are the two guys, but they were giving me. I had a fart and I left the room. I leave because they get all Jacob gets. See that face? That's his regular face. It's a. So when you fart it goes worse than that. It's a vacuum sealed room. I know what.

[Big J Okerson]

It's even better.

[Jim Florentine]

Thank you, Jim.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's the right guest to have for this.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, I know. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jim's gonna always stand behind the fart for sure.

[Jim Florentine]

But I leave because you know, these guys get offended when a toot comes out not even a loud toot. Just a toot. And they'll smell it, even if it's a little bit. They'll be like, did you.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you look, now you've had some room cleaners, dude.

[Jim Florentine]

I know. I'm not saying that I've had some bad ones, but I've had some mediocre. Whatever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe your worst one was, I mean, a minute and a half before Barry Manilow walked into the room.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, someone's got to let that guy know what's what.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Jim Florentine]

You got to keep him in check.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to take it on yourself. Straighten his shit out.

[Jim Florentine]

You don't think he knows what the inside of an smells like? He probably went in and went.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you went. And he goes, oh, my favorite dessert.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Why do you think he stayed for 30 minutes? Where's that smell coming from, fellas?

[Bobby Kelly]

Smells like what I love in here, Bo.

[Jim Florentine]

So I left the room to toot because you have to, because Jacob and everybody gets. Now, look, I get. Understand, Christine. But you know, Jacob's a grown 40 something year old man that can't take a toot. He can't. And I said men fart in front of. I'm a member of a cigar lounge. I'm American.

[Bobby Kelly]

And a boys club.

[Jim Florentine]

No, it's the Young Men's Lithium club. And he's got a tree men's lounge.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he's got a tree for it with a couple old men.

[Jim Florentine]

I don't have a tree for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you're not allowed to say it because then everyone gets in trouble.

[Jim Florentine]

Lounge. And I'm a member of the Italian American club. I remember a couple guy things up where I live, where I can go smoke a cigar, hang out with other men that you can fart in front of. And I say men fart. Men don't mind fart. I mean, yeah, you are. What the. But it's fun, it's funny, it's a. It's a thing, you know, that happens. That's not a. But you do it in front of these guys and they look at you like you just touched a baby in her vagina.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, Bobby.

[Jim Florentine]

It's Bobby. Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want to introduce our guest?

[Jim Florentine]

I will in a second. I will. And I'm going to introduce it my way. Ladies and gentlemen, in this room right now, one of the funniest guys. He's going to be all over the place. But you know what? Before that, he's got a special, you can't Please Them all, streaming right now on Amazon. The great Jim Florentines in studio. Give it up for him. Listen, you piss me off and I get the shit. Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

That was good.

[Big J Okerson]

If, you know, Christine's in studio, so I get it, you should hold them in. But if she's out sick one day, you should let them loose.

[Jim Florentine]

Here's the thing. Christine has a sense of humor. If I tutor with Christine, she's like, oh, Bob. And she would get it and probably chuckle at it. Not like it. But. Yes, I get that. But the guy sitting to the left, you see the young. The young boy sitting next to you with a man face. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

He should be able to take it.

[Jim Florentine]

He doesn't take it. And see, look at. Look at the. Look at over here. Look at. Okay, look at them. They over there with the fingernails.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Jim Florentine]

The one I do the show with, he can't take it either. Them, they, he, she, they. I.

[Bobby Kelly]

It never makes its way over here. I react to the room falling. The pieces.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but, Jay, do you do it in front of Christine?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't fart?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. And she. I did probably start for a while, early dating. And she said something about it. So I do try not to now. Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

If possible, but in a room full of guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's. He should be allowed to let go.

[Jim Florentine]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys aren't a couple. He should be allowed to let him out.

[Jim Florentine]

Thank you. Once in a while. It's also.

[Big J Okerson]

He got ticked whenever. It doesn't matter.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's.

[Jim Florentine]

It's regular. No, it's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

It.

[Big J Okerson]

It should. Well, that's okay.

[Jim Florentine]

Whenever.

[Big J Okerson]

Whenever they come out, they come out.

[Jim Florentine]

He's saying this, that there's something wrong with me internally because I have to toot all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's not wrong.

[Jim Florentine]

Men always seem like you're holding it back. Yeah, from you. From the little girls in this room. Maybe if I didn't have to hold it back for two hours four days a week, I wouldn't have to. Two hours.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, just open your mouth and put in front of the microphone.

[Jim Florentine]

Yes, sir.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's see. Open your mouth. Put it for the microphone.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What I want to hear. If you hear any of those crazy things that come out because you're doing something to make yourself gaseous, this is.

[Jim Florentine]

What Jay's doing now. Jay is a master manipulator. Watch Christine's eyes go up and she giggles because I'm right. You understand what I'm saying? I can always count on Christine to tell the truth without saying a word. Master manipulator. When He's. When he finds himself losing something, he'll switch it up. Now he's switching it up to my. My noise. Look at her. Look at her. She's fucking loving life right now. She's loving it. Here he comes. Look, he's holding his finger Stamp.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have a grandest.

[Jim Florentine]

Because in some community college class. Use your hands.

[Bobby Kelly]

I never.

[Jim Florentine]

College, he uses his hands. Listen, you're a guy. You fart. It's in you. You toot, you let it out. Guys. Yeah. Dude, that sucks. What are you doing? But it's a chuckle. It's almost like an instant joke that we have inside of us all the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Time, but you got all carved up inside. What we're saying is. And now, because you're fucking, your throat goes directly to your asshole. There's always. There's noise either coming up or out.

[Jim Florentine]

That. Listen, that is not the surgery I got. I did not rearrange.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm listening to your mind's eye.

[Jim Florentine]

That's not me, by the way. That's DJ Lou, the goddamn genius that he is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on, Bobby.

[Jim Florentine]

I mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wait, hang on. Your tape worm's talking. What's that? Timmy's in a.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, here's the thing. Sometimes we eat, like, in between, like, you know, breaks and stuff. And sometimes when I eat, I have a little sound that sounds like this.

[Big J Okerson]

That's actually your sound.

[Jim Florentine]

No, that's not it.

[Big J Okerson]

I was going to say, but it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is basically that sound.

[Jim Florentine]

It's a little, you know, something comes up, which I acknowledge, too. I think, as a man, if you acknowledge your shit, your faults or your farts, that's a manly thing to do. If I'm in here just squeezing them out and going, oh, who is it? I own my farts, right? And you deal with it. But this little cold, little. Little beanie baby, he gets all fucking sassied up if I toot. And he gets all whipped up, so I have to go outside the room to protect him.

[Big J Okerson]

It's almost like you guys are in a relationship where you have to leave the room.

[Jim Florentine]

But who's the man?

[Bobby Kelly]

You.

[Jim Florentine]

Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're the farting man.

[Big J Okerson]

Look, I just remember doing O and A. And every time Jim Norton had the worst gas ever. And then, like, a list celebrities would walk right into that room. And then, I guess. And they just took. I think Slash came in one time, like, whoa. When I was on the air. But you just. And they took it. Anthony took it. Opie took it.

[Jim Florentine]

We're talking to a guy who almost had a fucking airline Land a plane because your gas was so bad. They were, they made. Am I lying?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I forgot.

[Jim Florentine]

An announcement over the fucking people.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, she came to me. It was me and Sutter and John. We were farting on a plane, those little 50 seaters. And she came over and said, look, I know what you guys are doing and if you do, I already like, it's terrorism. I already notified the captain. And you do it one more time, we're landing the plane. So I almost made an emergency landing in Kansas City on the way home for like Denver. And we held them in the rest of the flight. This would be like before 9, 11. I'm like, they should have landed the plane like that. I would have been on Good Morning America. I would have been a legend.

[Jim Florentine]

You would have been legend.

[Big J Okerson]

I know one regret in life, nothing else.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah. Because of this fucking woke culture we live in now. We're afraid to fart. And he's part of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think far.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, that's the only time I stopped. It is when they're going to put up land the plane. Other than that, I never.

[Jim Florentine]

And you shouldn't have. In hindsight, you should have kept going, landed that plane.

[Big J Okerson]

I know.

[Jim Florentine]

You'd be a rock star. You're the merch. Land the plane, bitch.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, land the plane in general. Land the plane. Great merch.

[Jim Florentine]

I know, sick merch, right? But you missed out on it because you didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I panicked, Bobby, you do you love another man's farts. I know you join a lot of these clubs with men clubs so you can be around men's farts. Is that part of the reason you joined?

[Jim Florentine]

First of all, you just answered a. You asked a question and you answered the question in the thing. You sly little bitch. If you don't. You said you joined clubs to smell all the guys farts. And then you ask the same question.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's why. Right. It seems like you want to be around guys and you say, guys fart is what we do. So is eating those farts the price you pay to do man stuff or is part of man stuff like you actually like, do you find yourself enjoying the smell of another man's farts because you're like, oh, this is what my father was bad. And now this is what fatherhood must be?

[Jim Florentine]

No, that's.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, this is must smell with the love of a man. You know what, Jay?

[Jim Florentine]

I'll tell you this. Hurt people, Hurt people. Hurt people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hurt people.

[Jim Florentine]

Hurt people, hurt people. And that's what you are. You're hurt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I tell you something? One of the most emotional moments I've ever had in my life was realizing the one time I ever, once and only once, only, I smoked a cigarette while taking a shit. And that smell combo, I realized, is the exact smell that when my father would, like, open the bathroom door when I was be there on the weekends, be like, throw me a roll of toilet paper. And I'm like, it's the smell. It's his shit and cigarette smell. And I had an emotional moment. I couldn't learn that from him because I had to find out by accident years later.

[Jim Florentine]

And it made you feel good. Now, when you smoking shit, you remember your dad?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, my dad was a deadbeat for most of my life. And also, no, not at all. I've never smoked and shit again because that smell.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was the opposite of what you're thinking.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, you know, sometimes you make mistakes. Listen, dude, I'm just saying that farting is a kind of our thing. Well, Jim, farting is our thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I ask you, Jim, Because I know this is what I always been impressed with. With Sodor when he was on the show here. Even Bobby, I have a hard time. Like, I don't want to do gross shit in front of girls. If it's even your girlfriend or dawn or whoever. It's not, because I think we're going to have anything.

[Jim Florentine]

Pause your face. I still want that to guy stuck a toy gun and another man's asshole in front of a room full of.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was a bet. That was a bet.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, I need you to specify where it's you. I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that's also not me doing anything. I'm just pushing a gun on the man's ass.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm going to throw up. I mean, that is probably the top of gross in front of women. That's right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

But it was. Lewis was the one getting it up his ass.

[Jim Florentine]

But you're putting something in the guy's ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, I'm just facilitating a situation. Okay, different situation. No, no, But Jim, you were a classic Coxman in comedy. Everyone knows it. But you were also not afraid to do the gross things in front of the girls. Or were you. Were you more like soda? I said would fart right in front of Christina. I said, the reason I don't do that is not because I want Dawn. I don't fart in front of dawn, so. Because she wants to be with me in any way. It's just that I don't want her to think I'm gross, you know, I mean, I want her to think I wanted her to think I'm like an all right looking, not disgusting human being.

[Jim Florentine]

I would never fart in front of Christine. In fact, when I saw somebody do it to Christine, Josh, when he just.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ripped one in, that was different.

[Jim Florentine]

I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Josh is an animal.

[Jim Florentine]

I was insulted for her, and I would never do that. I. I hold Christine precious to me. I would never do that. But I would never expect if I did toot Christine like, oh, God, Bobby. And it would move on you two with Jacob and you, not me.

[Christine]

Jacob really puts on a show.

[Jim Florentine]

I mean, Jacob puts on a fucking Broadway musical.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black Lives. Got involved in the showmanship a little bit like your farts.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, but a little. But Black Lou will take it a little. He'll take it more than Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's not going to make a scene.

[Jim Florentine]

Jacob wants to file a petition, go to hr. Jacob wants to fucking get me fired when I toot.

[Bobby Kelly]

But Jim, can you think of the point I was asking was, do you think of the grossest thing you've done in front of a girl and still hooked up that night?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I will be respectful around women. I will hold them in. Except for my sisters.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

Because that annoys them. But other than that. No, I will. If I'm in a room for all women, I'll hold back.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I'm saying, has there ever been a moment where you. Where you were being the guy in the room, like doing that kind of stuff and still scored the chick? Cause you probably not said long hair. Jim. Florence, that's. That was right before my.

[Big J Okerson]

That was my steroid era.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Were you taking steroids?

[Big J Okerson]

No, but, you know, those guys had steroids. They had like 50 home runs. It was my steroid era. As soon as I cut the hair, I went back to. I got off the juice.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's funny. I don't. It's the change in the people. But like Bobby's stories, when he tells his wild stories, they are funny because it's like, it's so not Bobby now, but everyone's dad's now, which is a lot of the difference in those things. So. All right.

[Jim Florentine]

See, I'm just sitting here like men, just, like wearing the cigar bar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did Jim give you a taste?

[Jim Florentine]

Nope.

[Bobby Kelly]

You did.

[Jim Florentine]

Take it like a man.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, you getting anything out?

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I was worried because I was getting it.

[Christine]

That's a pass through unit.

[Big J Okerson]

That's only like a. That's only like a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, but to him it's an 11.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob.

[Jim Florentine]

Jacob wants to take TJ's hot sauce and pour it in his nose right now.

[Big J Okerson]

I wonder if he could go to HR over your farts.

[Jim Florentine]

I mean, if I.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd love to be in that meeting.

[Jim Florentine]

I would just blame it on my baby's stomach.

[Bobby Kelly]

Somebody here, somebody here went to HR over me for talking about that. They were being. I was making jokes. That they were being mean to me making jokes. But I was like, oh, he was in here calling me like a little fatso and how much he loved Dan and his. And your little fat friend, which is not, you know, it was a joke, clearly. And he went and made sure that you can't mention his name anymore on series six. Ridiculous.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Pretty wild.

[Jim Florentine]

But farts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Farts all day long.

[Jim Florentine]

Farts all day long.

[Bobby Kelly]

All day long. We should do this in the fishbowl. Fart fest in the fishbowl. Jacob, your producer.

[Jim Florentine]

I would like to get that. What's that camera you showed me one time where they came? No, the fart cam where they can see the farts come. Have you seen that?

[Bobby Kelly]

So funny. Have you seen that, Jim? No.

[Jim Florentine]

We should get that for the. If we can get that camera, we should get that for this room and then.

[Bobby Kelly]

So funny.

[Jim Florentine]

I guarantee that little. That little chipmunk over there is squeaking little protein farts out the whole show. I guarantee it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, this is thermal camera.

[Jim Florentine]

This is so great.

[Bobby Kelly]

So it looks.

[Jim Florentine]

It looks like ghosts.

[Bobby Kelly]

It just shows you. But it's the best one. It's women.

[Jim Florentine]

It looks like little ghosts. I love the timing of their farts too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, here you go. There's a girl. Here's a woman doing it. She bends over to crack a little ass. It really is perfect. Thermal camera shows a fart coming out like a little puff of smoke. It's so funny.

[Jim Florentine]

We're watching this. They're showing the people in real. In a real camera view. And then they show the thermal camera. But every single person has a movement, some type of movement. They do before they let the toot out. It's not like they're just walking into it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just crack a fart and leave the atm. The guy walk right into it.

[Jim Florentine]

I bet he too too though, doesn't he?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no.

[Jim Florentine]

Look at this guy. Oh, he's pushing it out there.

[Bobby Kelly]

It goes a little step.

[Jim Florentine]

You know what it looks like? It looks like, you know, the surface.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of the sun middle explosions is sun flares.

[Jim Florentine]

Sun flares coming out of their assholes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Girl fart.

[Jim Florentine]

We have to get one of those.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine, as a girl, how many times do you say you fart publicly a week. I bet the dog park is just you cracking them constantly.

[Christine]

No, not so much. But I mean definitely like when you're walking around the city, you fart. Nobody knows.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anyways, Christine just cracking rats walking around the city is hilarious.

[Jim Florentine]

Look, I understand that and I love the fact Don will fart twice a year and I catch her once. She. And it's by accident. Like she was trying. She dropped her phone off the bed and she went to go get it and it came out little. Little like this. And I was like, yo. She's like, sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine is. I've heard things at nighttime. No, that she's lucky that I have like a. You know, a night of sleep and just forgetting to get past it because in the moment I'm like, she doesn't move. And I'll be like, oh, that reminds me, I'm gonna break up with her in the morning.

[Jim Florentine]

Thank God you smoke pot and you forget.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And I go to sleep and I wake up and I'm like, oh yeah. And then after. And I remember at the end of the week, oh, I was supposed to dump her this week for the.

[Jim Florentine]

But you tried to get her to remind you. There's something I gotta remember. I forget what it was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Do you remember? Did I tell you something I had to do. Oh, was break up with you. I forgot. It's already smells gone.

[Jim Florentine]

Her asshole cast gypsy spells.

[Bobby Kelly]

The other problem is we have a dog who goes for it. So what I'll see is the action of Christine will roll over crack ass and then the dog like jumps and like smashes his face in her asshole.

[Christine]

It's our dog also loves to fart.

[Bobby Kelly]

And she smell her own ass.

[Christine]

She farts and smells her butt.

[Jim Florentine]

The worst is I had Kelby my.

[Bobby Kelly]

What happens in that moment house when I'm gone on weekends?

[Jim Florentine]

My old dog used to sleep on the pillow next. And I woke up one night and his ass was writing my face. I saw his asshole just open and it just shot. Just dog fart in my face. I felt like it was wet too. I just saw his asshole open first and then. And it was the worst but the best thing ever. I mean, I wouldn't change a thing.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

Get iPhone 12 with 5G with no.

[Christine]

Activation fees and nada yada yada only.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Christine]

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[Big J Okerson]

A Metro Flex Plan offer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not available if currently at T Mobile.

[Christine]

Or been with Metro in the past.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Jim Florentine]

Are you holding back on travel plans this holiday break because you're afraid of a language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel. I use Babbel all the time. I just went to Cuba. It was so frustrating and not be able to ask for certain things. You know what? I just turned on my Babbel app. All of a sudden I was speaking sentences saying good afternoon. I got to go in and say pour favour queso which means please cheese. This app was amazing because it teaches you in a fun, relatable way that all of a sudden you just know words and they're in your lexicon. I'm learning Italian with my son. I put my whole family on Babbel right now with a quick 10 minute lesson handcrafted by over 200 language experts, Babbel gets you talking in a new language just three weeks and with the advanced speech recognition by Babbel, it's like having a personal language tutor in your pocket helping you pronunciate whenever you open your mouth. I got Babbel. I hopefully know Spanish and Italian by the end of the year and I already know a bunch of words. I know a couple swears too. Not on there from the guy I met in Cuba. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for the bonfire with Big J Ogresson and Robert kelly. [e-mail] bonfire get up to 60% off.babel.com bonfire spelled b a b b.com bonfire rules and restrictions may apply. Tiamo, Gracias. I think farts are hilarious. Funny and amazing. Yes, they smell, but worth the smell, I say. And the worst the fart, the better.

[Big J Okerson]

Did he puke a couple times in on a. From Jim's gas.

[Jim Florentine]

Listen, Jim's farts are. I don't know what Jim's putting in it, but we do know what he's putting in his ass. But whatever, whatever. Whatever seal meat she's eating. Whatever. Whatever shark she's biting into. Fermented shark.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that the smell of old trans jism?

[Jim Florentine]

I mean, Norton's farts are putrid. Putrid, like, terrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why do you think it was? Honestly, you just had a bad stomach.

[Jim Florentine]

Dead cum. I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's been like that for years. I like doing it when I have to valet my car and I leave him in the car and the ballet's got to sit in it. One guy's like, whoa. As I walked away, I gotta leave the windows up. I know he's coming to take the car. His seals shut.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do almost something more obnoxious, but with a better smell. When I get out of my car, I smoke in the car. So I always spray something when I get out. And the guys in the parking lot, I park it, I get out of the car, I turn the car off, and then I fog it with this probably very toxic spray. And then I go, thanks, guys. And then they have to get in. It rained and all that, like, license.

[Jim Florentine]

Gary shows up. Hey, where's Juan? He died.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he died. Obnoxious gas poisoning.

[Jim Florentine]

He's killed five people in his garage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. I love that stuff, though. But, yeah, listen, dude, fart. You know, Sam Morell used to have a great joke. Fart in the elevator. It's hilarious. Then door opens and someone else gets in that. It's not hilarious at all anymore.

[Jim Florentine]

Well, that's what happened. I ran outside, Fart. And as soon as I went outside and I was letting it out, some woman who had a radio show here, he was playing Aussie. No more tears. And she stops right in my face. She goes, that's beautiful. And I was like, it's Aussie. Because I didn't know if she was talking about my fart or Aussie. And then she just stood there and talked to me for a minute. I had, like, a little toot left and I Went around the corner, but then there was a woman around the corner. I got bashed by women because I was trying to save her. Him. Sorry for you. I did that for you. I appreciate it. No more. No more.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now you farted in a lady. You far on a lady for you. No more.

[Jim Florentine]

No more, dude, no more. I'm. I'm being me. I'm being me. 20, 24 and the rest of 25. The rest 24 for 25. Bob Kelly's gonna be Bob Kelly no more.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which Bob Kelly? The older Bob Kelly. You gonna start wearing overalls again and getting boozy everywhere you go?

[Jim Florentine]

I might.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Jim Florentine]

I might, I might. I might.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like a little dance with young Bob Kelly.

[Jim Florentine]

I might get. I might get a space wig. Like soda.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hell yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

I might get my hair back. Start dying up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Your little poofy MC search hair gets.

[Jim Florentine]

My bush fat cut out fully.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're back in the game.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm back in that game. Dump Dawn. Big Max. I might move in with you guys. You got a guest house where you guys are going?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

Where do you live?

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't have a wife.

[Jim Florentine]

You're in Jersey, but you have a big house. Yeah, dude, I'm moving. What you do? We'll start up. We'll start creeps with kids again, but without wives. We're just bang chicks on the road.

[Big J Okerson]

And no one's going to complain about any farts in the house.

[Jim Florentine]

Nobody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because Luke's down with them farts, I bet.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

He gets mad. He's like, what'd you eat? I'm like, you use that line a million times already. When he rolls down the window, like in the car. I'm like, you're ruining the joke. You realize that the joke is to keep it.

[Jim Florentine]

To keep it up as long as you can.

[Big J Okerson]

You just stepped on the punchline.

[Jim Florentine]

First day of school, Max set his alarm. It went off at 6 o'clock. He had snoozed. Two minutes later, he farted. I mean, could be in the Boston Pops. It was just. And then he went alarm number two. And I was like, I got a good one. I got a good kid.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's great. That's a way, you know, that's really.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got a good kid.

[Jim Florentine]

I got a good one.

[Bobby Kelly]

His mom's upset.

[Jim Florentine]

He knows the funny of the fart, baby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it is a tough thing with the stuff. It doesn't sound like Luke is enjoying the fart humor as much.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he is, because he does it when I say, oh, it's okay when you do it. It's just not what I am. I learned it from my dad. My dad would, like, eat this onion soup the night before, have onion soup, because he knew that made him gas. And he would drive me and my sister.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was loading up.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he was loading up. He knew that would give him gas.

[Bobby Kelly]

He didn't love onion soup. He just knew that.

[Big J Okerson]

He just knew it when he drives to school in the morning and he would lock the windows in his Cadillac. So we just had to take it. My sister's like. And we were in high school all the time. She's like, I'm gonna smell like this all day. Meanwhile, I'm like, good. I'm like, this is great. She was disgusted.

[Jim Florentine]

Now I know. I. Jim Florentine is Jim Florentine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Does it make more sense that When I was 8 years old, my dad took me in a car ride and told me that marijuana's from the earth and it's okay for you? That's much more telling of my life.

[Jim Florentine]

You paint your fingernails and toenails, whatever you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

So, yeah, that's the rebellion, the smoking pot. That can be from. That can be from smoking pot for so long.

[Big J Okerson]

What is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

My dad smoked because I was like, oh, this is probably why he sucks is because he smokes pot.

[Jim Florentine]

No, he would have sucked more if he didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably. Yeah. He's like, no, you don't understand. This is what kept me not being abusive.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just get me unmotivated.

[Jim Florentine]

Now, you don't smoke anything?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

No drugs?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

No. You drink. You drink beer, though, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Once in a while. I don't drink that much more either, but.

[Jim Florentine]

Is that because you quit or you just didn't. Were never into it.

[Big J Okerson]

I always just got buzzed, so I had enough balls to go talk to girls. I was shy, so I was in a club or whatever like that. A few beers, maybe a few drinks. But I never get drank to get drunk.

[Jim Florentine]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

And then I did Molly a couple times, but never did coke. Smoke weed. A couple, like, from 12 to 17, I smoke weed. And I stopped because you've been in.

[Jim Florentine]

The rock scene for a long time, you think you'd be into.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I've been around that a lot.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, you never know.

[Big J Okerson]

Even with, like, strip in front of strippers doing lines, I'm like, no, I'm good. Get called a pussy. Yeah, I guess I am.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never gotten into that either. But Molly for sure, a couple of times. Pretty great.

[Jim Florentine]

What does molly do?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you loved it.

[Christine]

Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Can you. Can you not talk like the same voice as my addiction?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. If there's one thing you said. Listen, there's always going to be something you miss. To me, it's Quaaludes. I was always told by what my personality and the things that I like in that regard. Quaaludes would have been a drug that I would have loved, but I missed the boat on it. And now. You can't go do Molly now, Bobby. But if you did, you would love it, so stop talking like my addiction, Bobby. And then. So, yeah, it's not an addictive drug, but it's so you could do it one time and have an amazing night. Yeah. I mean, it is.

[Jim Florentine]

Can you please stop talking like the voice?

[Bobby Kelly]

Addictive.

[Jim Florentine]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, you and your wife should do, like, if they go to their cabin up in wherever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, that little place is gonna look huge.

[Big J Okerson]

You take it one night, both of you guys.

[Jim Florentine]

And I'm not letting dawn take a drug that's gonna let her see euphoric and how she works.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not how it works. It's more. You guys are going to put on music and listen to music and yap a bunch, probably, and then maybe. Maybe not cuddle 100%.

[Jim Florentine]

She'd walk into.

[Big J Okerson]

You're going to be affectionate for the first time in your life.

[Jim Florentine]

She would. She would walk off into the woods and become a lesbian and open up a deli somewhere.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you guys are going to go lay down. You're going to lay down outside on your. However much land you have.

[Jim Florentine]

I'd find her in some dike bakery somewhere making her fucking rum cake.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you can't let her realize her dreams.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, no, I want. I don't want dawn to do anything where she's gonna actually see something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you always gonna stand in the way of her dreams?

[Jim Florentine]

I don't want dawn opening up any pathways to peace now. I would. I told dawn she should smoke. I wanted to smoke. She used to smoke joints and do. And she just doesn't do it. I go smoke. Do whatever you want. Have some fun.

[Bobby Kelly]

You took her cool away.

[Jim Florentine]

She did. I'd let her do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

I'd love for dawn to do a drug where I just come home and she's like, I'm gonna suck everything. That would be fantastic.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've been thinking about dosing Christine now. Just not telling her. Here's your Diet Coke.

[Jim Florentine]

Have already done. Yeah. She can't have Molly. Christine can't do Molly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you no, no, she shouldn't. She shouldn't do Molly.

[Christine]

I mean, it was a lot of fun when I did, but I found a way to overdo it.

[Jim Florentine]

What do you do now? Let me ask, when you do Molly, what is the immediate feeling of it?

[Christine]

Euphoria.

[Big J Okerson]

Euphoria. If you got feelings, like, you got feelings. Yeah, they came out.

[Jim Florentine]

Your feelings.

[Big J Okerson]

Yours would come out too.

[Jim Florentine]

You're feeling.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you start. How long ago did you do this?

[Big J Okerson]

Probably 15 years ago.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you start like. I don't know if you remember, but like, you want to start texting. Yeah, it's a big thing. The big thing you have to make sure on your phone is that people in your life either know that you're on it or whatever because you're gonna just text. Like, dude, I know I actually don't reach out to you enough, but it's like you're one of my oldest friends in the world and I'm. My big thing. My big thing is telling people how long I've known. That's like a big thing for me. It's like. So I could get on Molly in this room, I would be like, j. Lou, it's crazy, man. It's like. I know. It's not just the bonfire, dude. I know you before that. What is it like? It's got to be 15 years. We've known each other 15 years. You think back at 50, I'm that.

[Jim Florentine]

Can you start doing it more?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I tell. I'll tell you my entire life story and then I'll ask Jim. I go, jim, did you hear all that? And you go, no. And I go, oh, nice. So born in Philadelphia. I love chatting.

[Jim Florentine]

I did that when I, When I did coke, I would do that. I would, I would fuck it. I remember I was dating this, this chick who lived in the projects and I did a bunch of coke and I went to her house at like 2 in the morning, threw rocks at her window and told her, see, I just want to let you know I know that, like, I was playing it cool, but I really liked you for last year. I didn't want to say anything, but I fucking love you. I really, I think you're beautiful and I love you. And I love you so much. And I. I'm so glad that we're dating. And I just went on and on and on and she never talked to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's like, I don't. We're not dating. Who told you that? Why are you screaming outside of my parents house?

[Jim Florentine]

Because I realize now I should have said the thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got it. In this life, you have one shot.

[Big J Okerson]

Say the things you need to say.

[Jim Florentine]

It was in the projects. It was singular parent.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yikes. No, it is pretty great.

[Big J Okerson]

I wonder, like, this warm feeling. You want to cuddle. Right. You just lay down. It's not so much about the sex.

[Jim Florentine]

What did you. What did Say. What did you. Who did you open up to?

[Big J Okerson]

My girl at the time.

[Jim Florentine]

Really?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

And what did you say? I can't. I can't picture you being emotional.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Jim Florentine]

Because you're not emotional. You're you. You're talking about the guy guy I was talking about. Like, this is the guy guy. He's the guy. Just get up. Who cares if you broke your neck? Just figure it out.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. I have logic.

[Jim Florentine]

You have. You have guy logic.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

You have man logic. It's called common sense.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Common sense.

[Jim Florentine]

Right. But what did you say to the guy?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't remember. Just, you know, how much I love her and miss her when I'm not. When I'm on the road.

[Jim Florentine]

You said that to him?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Did it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Idiot.

[Jim Florentine]

It feels like. It feels like it still bugs you.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Because then like a week later when I was on the road. Check. Do you miss me? I'm like, yeah. You know, there's a little pause in there. And she told me last week, Molly. I go, I'm not on it now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know. You're like, yeah, I know. And now I realize I just left yesterday and I'm coming home tomorrow. Relax. Do I miss you?

[Jim Florentine]

Jim's voice doesn't have. It's not the tone of love and affection. Yeah. I love you. I love you deeply. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do Molly again in my life.

[Jim Florentine]

When you do it, let me know. What does it look like, by the way? I don't even know what it looks like.

[Christine]

Meth.

[Jim Florentine]

What does meth look like?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like crystals you can take in a pill.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Like a little capsule. I remember I got in a little white pillow.

[Jim Florentine]

So it's a pill. You pop it, and then all of a sudden you feel great.

[Big J Okerson]

About an hour.

[Jim Florentine]

What was it made for originally?

[Big J Okerson]

It was made for, like, depression.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. For kicking ass.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Psychiatric treatment realized.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That you can get high on, like. You can.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's.

[Big J Okerson]

Get high on it. That's what originally was for, like depression and stuff. In the 70s.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

They outlawed it.

[Bobby Kelly]

MDMA? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Acid, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Christine]

Wasn't acid for.

[Big J Okerson]

I think so, too.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, really. And the acid. But acid does something totally. You could have a bad trip on that. Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I don't want to go. Like, the thing about Molly is it's relatively foolproof, I think, in that it will be positive, you know? I mean, you might get a little lost in it, but, like, positive.

[Christine]

Well, how can I see stuff? You don't hallucinate.

[Jim Florentine]

But how did you not see stuff?

[Bobby Kelly]

You're just like, I have to hear some music right now.

[Big J Okerson]

And you don't stumble over your words. You're not slurring or anything.

[Jim Florentine]

Now you. Are you annoying?

[Big J Okerson]

Not really.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd say. I'd say if people are. I don't think I would be to you because of. However I metabolize drugs and shit like that. But if you were not on it, you can get somebody who's really on it and come into a room with someone, like, really just, like, going like the back of my hands. And you're gonna be like, all right.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, really?

[Big J Okerson]

Not nearly as annoying as someone on coke.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jim Florentine]

That coke is bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's more subdued than that. I think there's heroin in it.

[Jim Florentine]

Is it the day after, as. I didn't do it either. You have, like, all your serotonin's used up for, like, a month.

[Big J Okerson]

They say it's the next day.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's for three days. But, like, do you feel miserable that.

[Jim Florentine]

The following three days.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've. I've had that not be a problem.

[Christine]

I had it be a major problem. And Molly's a drug you're supposed to do maybe once, twice a year if you do it. And we got to a point, like, during the pandemic, where we were doing it, like, weekly. So I'd, like, recover from it and then just almost immediately do it again. And then you're depressed, and then you're high again and you're depressed. It really fucked me up.

[Jim Florentine]

It takes away.

[Christine]

It takes all your serotonin and just drains it out of you and, like, pushes it where you. Like, all your happiness is there for the night. And it takes, like, three days to rebuild it.

[Jim Florentine]

To rebuild your serotonin?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And you can get, like, serotonin, like, deficiency syndrome where it doesn't rebuild completely.

[Jim Florentine]

Jesus Christ. Can they. Can they just make serotonin and you could drink that?

[Christine]

I wish.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably.

[Jim Florentine]

Fantastic.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that's where you have to eat those things from babies, right? Isn't that their thing? The Illuminati? Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then some of the stuff I remember Used to have speed in it, so you couldn't go to sleep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that was up to like six.

[Big J Okerson]

Seven in a morning.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've done the first time I did Molly. We're pretty sure. Cause we didn't test it. Now, you'd have to test everything. Yeah, but we didn't test it. And it was most certainly, by all accounts, like, mostly just meth, because that was the night I'm talking about. Particularly when I went around to everybody who worked at Gas Digital and was like, here's everything about my life from the beginning to right now. And then I would just move on to the next person and be like, here you go. All right. You didn't catch any of that. Let me start all over again. Yeah, I went hard.

[Christine]

It all has meth. It's. It's methodioxyl methamphetamine. So it's like there's. If there wasn't meth in it, you would just go to sleep. But then it's cut down with, like, other shit. The best ones were heroin back when it was ecstasy. But now the fentanyl thing is like, crazy. Like, I'm terrified of fentanyl now.

[Jim Florentine]

Fentanyl, like, a really small amount, it would just kill you.

[Christine]

Yeah, they say, but then people are addicted to pure fentanyl. So I'm like, I don't know where this comes from. Where you can actually, like, use fentanyl but also die from a salt grain of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's bullshit.

[Jim Florentine]

Is it bullshit?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Oh, no. Fentanyl is pretty deadly for sure. But I think it's like tolerancing like anything else. But for some people, if you've never taken fentanyl before, they say like a fingernail size, not a grain of salt, but like the amount of like, basically the amount of like. If you had that much fentanyl, like a Molly pill of fennel, you're dead for sure.

[Jim Florentine]

Holy shit.

[Big J Okerson]

And they'll mix it in. The drug deals will mix it in because it's cheaper, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they say, but it just trying to kill people.

[Christine]

I usually heard something too, about getting a dick. It's like, physically addictive, the fentanyl, where, like, coke isn't physics. So it's actually like getting people more hooked on drugs.

[Bobby Kelly]

See, I like this. Those the best times I've ever had of like, Molly or is when it's been those, like, colorful, goofy pills. Those pills are the pressed pills I've always found to be the best.

[Jim Florentine]

You mean the movie Molly?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the best. Ones, but I assume there could be fentanyl in all of it. Now, you have to check. You have to test it all.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, wow. I mean, listen, I. I wouldn't. I'm. I'm glad I got.

[Bobby Kelly]

And take Molly, dude.

[Jim Florentine]

I can't. No. We'll wind up you and Jim, dude. Well, I wind up sucking each other off in a triangle.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll call it the New Hampshire Young Men's Club. What do we put the word club on it? And cigars. Cigar. Club of men.

[Jim Florentine]

Young. Oh, look at that. Medusa1. I'd take that.

[Christine]

The ecstasy.

[Jim Florentine]

That's. Yeah.

[Christine]

I thought the press pills were all ecstasy, but they. I think they just call it Molly.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's the.

[Christine]

Yeah, it's like the new. The new word.

[Jim Florentine]

Wild. It's wild.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby. Bobby would be so emotional on it. He would hold in his farts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Jim Florentine]

Jacob. You know what, Jacob? I love you so much. And I tried to do the right thing, and I went outside the room. When I came back, you hurt my feelings. And I. I didn't want to get hurt. And then when you hur. Me, I wanted to hurt you, because that's what my stepfather Billy used to do. He used to hurt me. And I realized at a young age, if I hurt him, they stopped doing it. And I was just trying to get you to stop, Jacob, because you. I love you, man. I love you so much. And I admire your outfits. And I love that you wear a bunch of stuff when you get cold and you don't complain. You just sit there. And I love that you have a stoic face like a Romanian, and you just. I don't know if you like me or not until I ask you, and then you say you do. And I love you, man. I'm so sorry. And, Jay, I love you. And Black Lou, I love you. And DJ Lou, you're the fucking greatest. And Christine, you're so pretty.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wait, then you're gonna be like this. Wait, wait, wait. Is that Pink Floyd? Yes.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, God. Oh, God. I don't know who's in the band. I know Jay does. I know he knows every member. And the ones that left and came back, and I don't know really who they are, what song this is, but I enjoy it.

[Big J Okerson]

Anyway, you'll like that song Jay was playing coming back from the commercial. You'd be like, jay, you know what? This is a good song.

[Jim Florentine]

It is.

[Big J Okerson]

I get it.

[Jim Florentine]

It is all.

[Bobby Kelly]

You understand.

[Jim Florentine]

Then I would.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bad, bad, bad. Boys. Bobby likes playing with boys.

[Jim Florentine]

Jim Florentine. New special, you can't Please Them all is streaming right now on Amazon Prime. You can also check them out at the Funny Bone in St. Louis. The 21st and 23rd through the 23rd of November. Donellan Theater in New Jersey, November 29th. And laugh it up, Poughkeepsie. You love those boys up in Poughkeepsie. November 30th. For all of the tickets and tour dates, please visit Jim florentine.com and make sure you check out our tickets. The Bonfire Holiday Spectacular will be Tuesday, December 17th at the Village Underground. Special guest is confirmed. We have an amazing show lined up. It's going to be awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lenny Kravitz.

[Jim Florentine]

No. Oh, not Lenny Kravitz.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess whoever it is now has to live up to Lenny Marcus. Lenny Marcus.

[Jim Florentine]

Ryan Reynolds. Lenny Marcus.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lenny Marcus. But he's gonna be jumping out of Leslie Jones.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, he's gonna smell like farts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Make me feel so good.

[Jim Florentine]

And make sure you check out big jokes. And we'll be at Houston Improv all this weekend, Saturday and Sunday, November. He's gonna be the. November 24th. He's gonna be in Philly. It's almost sold out, so get your tickets if there's few left. Stanford, St. Louis, West Palm Beach. For all the tickets, tour dates, go to Big J Comedy or Punch Up Live.

[Bobby Kelly]

Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly is going to be in Morris Plains, New Jersey, the dojo of comedy, November 22nd and 23rd. After that, Beacon, New York, Kansas City and Batavia, Illinois, all on deck. You can catch Bobby every Tuesday night, including tonight, 7pm in the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. For tickets and tour dates, of course, go to Punch Up Live. Robert Kelly. I know what you're thinking to yourself. How is the show at 7 and it's 6:45 and you're still here.

[Jim Florentine]

I make it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Movie magic.

[Jim Florentine]

I take that train, baby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hollywood magic. Yeah, you do. Hustle your ass out of here. It's the bonfire.

[Jim Florentine]

Did you fart? You farted? Somebody else farted. It wasn't me. That was me.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was Jim. It was you?

[Jim Florentine]

Was it you? It was you.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll take credit.

[Jim Florentine]

Was it you? It wasn't me. Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was you.

[Jim Florentine]

Terrible. It was not me.

[Christine]

Netcredit is here to say yes because.

[Jim Florentine]

You'Re more than a credit score.

[Big J Okerson]

Apply in minutes and get a decision.

[Jim Florentine]

As soon as the same day.

[Big J Okerson]

Loans offered by Netcredit or lending partner.

[Bobby Kelly]

Banks and service by Netcredit.

[Big J Okerson]

Applications subject to review and approval.

[Jim Florentine]

Learn [e-mail] partners, NetCredit credit to the.

[Big J Okerson]

People at Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a house. It's your home. The place that's filled with memories. The early days of figuring it out to the later years of still figuring it out. For the place you've put down roots. Trust Amica Home Insurance. Amica empathy is our best policy.