Fatrick Swayze

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Fatrick Swayze" Episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Introduction In the "Fatrick Swayze" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, aired on August 6, 2025, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into a blend of humorous banter, personal anecdotes, and pop culture commentary. The episode, brimming with the duo's trademark blunt humor and unfiltered honesty, covers a wide range of topics from food indulgences to nostalgic reflections on classic movies.

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1. Food and Eating Habits ([01:09] - [05:09]) The episode opens with Robert Kelly humorously lamenting overindulgence in food, specifically after bringing subs from a new counter service spot near his therapy center. This segues into a playful discussion about managing food addiction and the social dynamics of sharing meals with colleagues.

• Notable Quote:
  • Robert Kelly ([02:10]): "But I ate too much. Yeah, I got whipped up in the frenzy."

---

2. Sandwich Preferences and Philly Cheesesteaks ([02:19] - [11:20]) A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the nuances of Philly cheesesteaks. Jay critiques the use of sesame seed buns in authentic cheesesteaks, referencing Bradley Cooper's rendition of the sandwich and emphasizing traditional preferences. The hosts debate various toppings and the authenticity of different establishments, highlighting their deep appreciation for genuine Philadelphia flavors.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Big Jay Oakerson ([04:51]): "That's how it's supposed to be."
  • Robert Kelly ([05:31]): "Cheesesteak. Sorry, dude. Cheesesteak."

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3. Music and Show Intro ([11:20] - [22:13]) Shifting gears, Jay and Robert delve into the creation of their show's intro music. They experiment with different song choices, discussing the timing and delivery to create an engaging entrance for Jay. The segment is filled with their characteristic improvisation and collaborative spirit as they fine-tune the perfect musical backdrop for the show.

• Notable Quote:
  • Big Jay Oakerson ([12:27]): "Pick, you gotta picture this. Go to 15, 15 seconds in and pause it."

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4. Nostalgia and "Dirty Dancing" Discussion ([22:13] - [30:37]) The hosts reminisce about watching the classic film Dirty Dancing with their parents. They humorously recount their childhood experiences and interpretations of the movie's more mature themes, particularly focusing on Patrick Swayze's character. This discussion blends nostalgia with their comedic take on the film's portrayal of relationships and personal growth.

• Notable Quote:
  • Big Jay Oakerson ([37:36]): "We go to see Dirty Dancing. And just sitting, watching a movie, like eight or nine with my mother... very weird sitting next to my mom, watching that."

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5. Transition and Gender Commentary ([30:37] - [50:08]) A substantial and provocative segment addresses topics of gender transition and identity. The hosts engage in a candid and often crass conversation about facial feminization, body modifications, and societal perceptions of transgender individuals. Their dialogue touches on personal opinions, societal norms, and the impact of these changes on personal relationships and self-image.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Robert Kelly ([46:30]): "She's on a shit list. Songs that will make you jump off a bridge."
  • Big Jay Oakerson ([47:48]): "I want to keep my wiener out already."

Note: This segment includes explicit language and sensitive topics. Listener discretion is advised.

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6. Music Preferences and Critique ([50:08] - [61:43]) The conversation shifts back to music, with Jay and Robert expressing their varied tastes and critiques. They discuss artists like Ani DiFranco and The Cure, sharing their preferences and humorous disdain for certain musical styles. The banter highlights their differing perspectives on what constitutes quality music and performance, adding depth to their on-air chemistry.

• Notable Quote:
  • Big Jay Oakerson ([56:54]): "If you're on suicide watch, they won't allow you to listen to her music."

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7. Closing Remarks and Future Plans ([61:43] - End) As the episode wraps up, the hosts continue their playful exchanges, touching on personal stories and teasing upcoming segments. They maintain their engaging dynamic, leaving listeners anticipating future episodes filled with similar humor and candid discussions.

• Notable Quote:
  • Big Jay Oakerson ([64:16]): "We'll be right back. It's the bonfire."

---

Conclusion The "Fatrick Swayze" episode encapsulates The Bonfire's essence—sharp, unfiltered humor intertwined with personal anecdotes and pop culture insights. From dissecting the authenticity of Philly cheesesteaks to navigating complex discussions on gender and identity, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly deliver an episode that's both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether reminiscing about classic films or debating musical tastes, their chemistry and candidness provide listeners with an engaging and memorable experience.

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Notable Quotes Recap:

• Robert Kelly ([02:10]): "But I ate too much. Yeah, I got whipped up in the frenzy."
• Big Jay Oakerson ([04:51]): "That's how it's supposed to be."
• Robert Kelly ([05:31]): "Cheesesteak. Sorry, dude. Cheesesteak."
• Big Jay Oakerson ([12:27]): "Pick, you gotta picture this. Go to 15, 15 seconds in and pause it."
• Big Jay Oakerson ([37:36]): "We go to see Dirty Dancing. And just sitting, watching a movie, like eight or nine with my mother... very weird sitting next to my mom, watching that."
• Robert Kelly ([46:30]): "She's on a shit list. Songs that will make you jump off a bridge."
• Big Jay Oakerson ([56:54]): "If you're on suicide watch, they won't allow you to listen to her music."
• Big Jay Oakerson ([64:16]): "We'll be right back. It's the bonfire."

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This summary aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the episode while adhering to content guidelines. Listener discretion is advised due to explicit language and sensitive topics discussed.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't drink at all until 4 o'.

[Big J Okerson]

Clock.

[Robert Kelly]

We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night. Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks, a few nights a week, it can add up. And suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the drink. More [e-mail] Noche Initiative. If you work as a manufacturing facilities engineer, installing a new piece of equipment can be as complex as the machinery itself. From prep work to alignment and testing, it's your team's job to put it all together. That's why it's good to have Grainger on your side. With industrial grade products and next day delivery, Grainger helps ensure you have everything you need close at hand through every step of the installation. Call 1-800-granger. Click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Big J Okerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly McDan in the world. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yo. I ate too much, man. I One little, one little nugget. Too much of food.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You're looking uncomfy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it just hurts.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. It feels like somebody duke on deck.

[Robert Kelly]

No, not a duke. It's the other way. It feels like somebody put a big, big huge dildo down my throat and it's not coming up, hitting my chest.

[Big J Okerson]

It's stuck in there. Yeah, you can't get it out.

[Robert Kelly]

I just ate the Sam. We had lunch today. I brought in subs from counter service. I think.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Brand new place by my therapy and you know, when it's a rough therapy, when I'm going through some stuff like today I, you know, I act out, my food addiction kicks in.

[Big J Okerson]

But I did a rough therapy.

[Robert Kelly]

I do it in a, you know, a positive way where I buy everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

That's nice, you know, but you get to bury your food addiction in I'm got it. I got it for everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

I go in and just order. Like it's all for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

But it's for everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

For everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

I bought lunch for everyone. Really good.

[Big J Okerson]

But I was very, very sweet. Thank you very much.

[Christine]

Awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

It was great. But I ate too much. Yeah, I got whipped up in the. The frenzy. You got caught up and the frenzy. What's this? What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

Try a little everything.

[Robert Kelly]

Try a little everything.

[Big J Okerson]

Gets to get whack of that Reuben.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a little whack of that.

[Big J Okerson]

Room to get whack of that Ruben.

[Robert Kelly]

That was the one. That little bite of the Ruben.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe one of the best ones.

[Robert Kelly]

It was good, but I wish it was the first one. That's the thing when you get five different subs. You know what I mean? You don't know what's what. I should have went Reuben the roast beef and maybe a little bin Ma or bima, whatever it's called. That one too, dude. That one too.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I like the way you say it.

[Robert Kelly]

Two Bin mambo.

[Big J Okerson]

God, this guy's been doing what's our thing? Babble. Yeah, this guy's been doing babble.

[Robert Kelly]

Babble.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's Babel. Si, senorita. Shut your face, idiot.

[Christine]

I'm looking at the bacon, egg and cheese on here though, Nate, I gotta say, like, I don't know, a sesame bun, supposed to be a kaiser roll. A little too much bacon.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell you right now. Sesame bun with steak and cheese, which I believe in Philly. I got on Alexandria's or something.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't get that in Philly.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I did. They don't even have those Alexander. Alexander's. Is that what the steak and cheese place in Philly is? Oh, cheesesteak.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, suck it.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Cheesesteak.

[Robert Kelly]

Cheesesteak. Sorry, dude. Cheesesteak.

[Big J Okerson]

That might be a newer thing. I don't know. I might be unaware of that.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it Alex? I went. I went there and it was a sesame seed bun and I loved it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Listen, the sesame seed bun on that roast beef today was good. Very good. Probably the best bread of the thing. But a cheesesteak is not supposed to be on seeded bread. And I'm talking to you fucking Bradley Cooper. I saw your goddamn Bradley Cooper's cheesesteak spot. Seeded bread. That's like a thing.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it's good though, bro. I mean, look it, I'm not. You might just. You. Here's the thing. You might be.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at their stupid sandwich in an old.

[Robert Kelly]

You might be stuck in the old ways, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

That's wrong. That bread's wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

It is not wrong. It is good.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, you know that bread's wrong.

[Christine]

It's wrong. It's supposed to be amorosa rolls.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, what I'm telling you.

[Big J Okerson]

Right now, what that made your heart a little bit.

[Robert Kelly]

She knows a little bit. When she said amorosa rolls, she knew rolls.

[Big J Okerson]

She knows the rolls.

[Robert Kelly]

It did. Cuz she's older now. She's 40.

[Big J Okerson]

She's so old.

[Robert Kelly]

She's nice. She knows Bread.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. Should I start baking sourdough?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Yeah, why don't you do it? Make a yeast with your yeast.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen, the cheesesteak is cut up. Not enough.

[Christine]

Look at those onions. Gross.

[Big J Okerson]

No, the onions are right.

[Robert Kelly]

You need onions.

[Big J Okerson]

This supposed to be squares? Yeah. Little rectangles of onion.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, sure.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how it's supposed to be.

[Robert Kelly]

I. I don't mind that. It looks pretty good. It should be chopped up a little more, right?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sure it tastes okay, but it should be chopped up substantially more. That's crazy.

[Christine]

So why are they never. Oh, they're just closed Monday and Tuesday.

[Big J Okerson]

No, they're not open at all. I think it's. I think it's an empty building. I walk by, it's nothing. There's.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Danny and Coop.

[Big J Okerson]

Fucking assholes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I think it was a pop up. Was it a pop up or something?

[Big J Okerson]

I think it was a pop up. That's why there's only three posts.

[Robert Kelly]

Mm.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm telling you, it's not there.

[Robert Kelly]

He's making a movie now. This was just a fad. This is like, hey, I'm from Philly. Look how great it is. I'm gonna go make a movie with De Niro now.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, look, they ask, are you gonna make. When you gonna offer a roast pork Italian? That's a good question, Paulie G. Respect. Respect that question. Hey, I'm not going to let you coast because you're Bradley Cooper with your stupid cedar roll cheese steak. You going to bring some of the other Philly sandwiches? You're going to dick around all day and act like you're from Philly.

[Robert Kelly]

Is a roast pork a Philly thing?

[Big J Okerson]

That the way they're talking?

[Robert Kelly]

What is that?

[Big J Okerson]

Roast pork Italian? That's sharp Provy. And broccoli Rob.

[Robert Kelly]

We had that today.

[Big J Okerson]

No sharp provi.

[Robert Kelly]

We had broccoli Rob.

[Big J Okerson]

There was broccoli Rob on it. Yeah, but there was no sharp Provi.

[Robert Kelly]

No Sharon Provi. But it's prev. Alone.

[Big J Okerson]

If you say that at the restaurant, they're gonna put their dick in your food.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I don't like this thing too. Where you got to go wit wit whiz, you know, without.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you're not. You're not. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

That was crazy, what you just did.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Wit whiz.

[Big J Okerson]

Whit whiz beans. Do you know what's gonna happen if you say wit whiz?

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

What do you think's gonna happen? Tell me.

[Robert Kelly]

I might probably get knocked out.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no. I mean, what Are you gonna. What are you gonna receive wit whiz.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna have cheese whiz on your sub.

[Big J Okerson]

What else is going to be on it, though?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know his jizz. Because I shouldn't have said wit.

[Big J Okerson]

No, wit's fine.

[Robert Kelly]

Big, big Philly jizz loads.

[Big J Okerson]

First of all, you would say whiz whit. But if you went. But if you said wit whiz, they're gonna still throw onions. That means onions.

[Robert Kelly]

Wit. Yeah, wit means onions.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't have to say onions. It's. You're saying. You say your cheese.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then wit or without.

[Robert Kelly]

So whiz.

[Big J Okerson]

So if you want. If you want whiz and onions. Yeah, you'd say whiz with.

[Robert Kelly]

Whiz with. I mean, this is a stupid Philly slang.

[Big J Okerson]

And then if you want mushrooms on it like I do, you'd add a little mushrooms.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't I just go like.

[Big J Okerson]

I also don't do whiz, though.

[Christine]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't I go prevalone with onions?

[Big J Okerson]

Provi. For sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Why do I have to say provi? Say provolone. You can provolone cheese with onions.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you could say. If you're gonna go provolone pizza steak. You say provolone pizza steak.

[Robert Kelly]

What's a pizza steak?

[Big J Okerson]

It's provolone and pizza sauce on your steak.

[Robert Kelly]

That's disgusting. It's gross.

[Big J Okerson]

Bring up a picture of a provolone pizza from Pat.

[Robert Kelly]

I will not add sauce into a steak and cheese.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not my fate. You have to eat it there.

[Robert Kelly]

I will not.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not to bring it home because your bread's getting soggy.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want. I don't like it at all.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, you've had provolone pizza steak.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like it.

[Christine]

It's really good. But it says Pat's doesn't offer it.

[Big J Okerson]

What? That's crazy.

[Christine]

They don't offer pizza.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. They don't know what they're talking about over there.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like pizza sauces.

[Big J Okerson]

Just go to images steak. No, you do provolone pizza steak. God. Thank you. Yeah. This is making Jacob sick to his stomach right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You can't eat any of this, right? Oh, that's gross.

[Big J Okerson]

That actually is not a good picture at all. I don't know what that is.

[Robert Kelly]

Looks like somebody threw up on it.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Looks like trash.

[Christine]

Cheese stick stromboli is like, one of my favorite meals.

[Robert Kelly]

Cheesesteak, onions, mushrooms, maybe.

[Christine]

Bobby, we're gonna bring you some cheese stick stromboli. You're gonna love it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like cheesesteak cheeks. Is that the little. It's like a calzone, but with cheese stick inside. Okay. You know, I'd do that. Yeah, I would do that.

[Christine]

If you get the pepper juice, that's the best thing to dip.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, all right.

[Big J Okerson]

It's one of Christine's. One of Christine's favorite meals.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. It sounds fantastic, man.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby's transition was fantastic. I would never do that. No, I would eat that. I'll give it a shot.

[Robert Kelly]

Because I was thinking, let's go get it right now.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, Eagles first Thursday night game is the first game of the season is Thursday night or the first game in my house. I'm gonna go down and get some cheesesteaks from Philly, bring them back and wolf out while you watch the game.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, when. When is that? 7th, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

September 7th.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll pop over September. We got to do the show and then go the. You're going home.

[Christine]

No, it's Thursday. Thursday the 4th. September.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I'm around September 4th.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm around. Sucker.

[Christine]

After Labor Day.

[Robert Kelly]

Who are they playing? Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll do it. Doesn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

It doesn't matter. Are you going to Philly, Cheese?

[Big J Okerson]

I am, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You're driving to Philly?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Take a drive down.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

It doesn't matter who they're playing? No, it doesn't fucking mean. It does. No, it absolutely does.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? No, it doesn't.

[Big J Okerson]

Why do you think it means something? It's going to be. Here's the thing. It's just going to be one down, 16 to go. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the Dallas Cowboys, number one. Oh, it is the Cowboys. And I think about it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. But so it doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

So it doesn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

When was the last time they were in a Super Bowl?

[Big J Okerson]

Dallas Cowboys.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I believe Emmett Smith had full hair.

[Robert Kelly]

That's when white quarterbacks were a thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Michael Irvin was still on coke.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's gonna be. I think Lou might come over for it. Absolutely. Listen, Cowboys or Eagles fan, you need them cheesesteaks, pool's gonna be shut down. Pool?

[Christine]

No, not till.

[Big J Okerson]

That might not be shut down.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna keep it open till October.

[Big J Okerson]

90 degree pool.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I was like, what's the latest I can close the pool?

[Robert Kelly]

That's nice.

[Christine]

I took that Date.

[Big J Okerson]

What is it? What is it?

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna get leaves. You're gonna get a ton of leaves in that pool.

[Big J Okerson]

What is. Who did this?

[Christine]

I don't know. Val Goodrich?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like that.

[Christine]

It's like not even.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a recipe from Frank Oliveri. That's not even. There's no one.

[Christine]

You know, I'm just gonna get off the screen.

[Big J Okerson]

Get the crazy.

[Christine]

It is crazy. I wanted to show you how bad it was.

[Robert Kelly]

That looks good right there.

[Christine]

So it was upsetting you.

[Robert Kelly]

That one up there. That looks good. That. No, not that one. That one.

[Big J Okerson]

That one's great.

[Robert Kelly]

What is that? That one I don't like that one looks gross. Alexander's. Is that the one I got? Was awesome. Really?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, honest to God, every. Every corner place is pretty great.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

We found Oregon steaks this 24 hours and then we were like, oh, it's actually fucking great. So good. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, Bob.

[Big J Okerson]

What did you. What'd you think of that cool song the show started off with?

[Robert Kelly]

I thought it was great.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think it was super cool?

[Robert Kelly]

I thought it was cool. It was hip, it was cool. Got everybody in a good mood. People don't know that in the. When we come to the studio and I do like this is that Jay. DJ Lou will go, hey, what song do you guys want me to play? Looking at Jay's face. He's never actually looked at me directly and asked. He always looks at Jay and go, what? What do you guys want me to. You got a song? He goes, you guys have a song? Looking at Jay, he's never looked. I look at you when I want Kelly Clarkson. Let me. Let me just finish this. He's never looked at me. He doesn't look at me until like 10 minutes into the show. And. And when you put your headphones on, then he will start the show. But you do pick fantastic music, which I love because if it was me, it would be a lot of Kelly Clarkson and Young Blood.

[Big J Okerson]

And Young Blood, your favorite young and nobody wants that. And tons.

[Robert Kelly]

And Journey. Hello, Journey.

[Big J Okerson]

I go a little all over the place for sure. But I've. I bring this one up only because I was test marketing you guys a little bit. I was test kitchening this. I might make this my new walk out song.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

When I walk out on stage, can you crank it? Well, let me tell you where it's from. Pick, you gotta picture this. Go to 15, 15 seconds in and pause it. I gotta know when I'll do my intro.

[Robert Kelly]

You know exactly when you cuz my. I have my intro song and I. And I. I. They have to play it at a certain minute two in.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And I. And then I have to wait 5 to 10 seconds and then I walk out.

[Big J Okerson]

I like that. I have to wait. I gave it. So I only have to wait a couple seconds.

[Robert Kelly]

But.

[Big J Okerson]

But then. So you have it at 15 seconds in. I hope it's the right spot. Okay, so it was too.

[Robert Kelly]

Do they go? Ladies and gentlemen. Big. I'll do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Ready? Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the man you came to see, Big J Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J.

[Robert Kelly]

Big J. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then I come up. So now you walk up around during this part. Well, because I'm giving him a little bit of time. Because you want to get him saying some of the words. They're still cheering.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you out?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. I'm on stage now. Okay, let him do his thing a little bit. Go waved everybody. What the is up whereverville. And then. And then they're also. DJ will fade it out.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it. I do like it.

[Big J Okerson]

But what did he get A couple seconds back.

[Robert Kelly]

What is he saying? I think you should walk out a little later. You were out there on stage a little long before you started singing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's go back to. Let's go back to. We say 13 seconds maybe.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Here we go. Ready? Ladies and gentlemen, give it up. You've seen him on.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby. God damn it, dude, Just say. Just do the end of it. Big J Okers.

[Robert Kelly]

You're right. I was just trying to think. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up. He's on. You know him from Legion of Skanks. The Bonfire and Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll Podcast.

[Big J Okerson]

Nope, that was the TV show. You were.

[Robert Kelly]

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for a Big J Okerson. Let's do it again. Come on. Stop it. We got to do this right.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd say take it back. Hey, guys, three more seconds. And when Bobby starts saying my name is. When you step is when you start playing the LA LA's, I think, what's up, everybody?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Get myself in the backstage zone.

[Robert Kelly]

So anyways, what else is going on? I gotta get. I gotta wrap it up in a minute. I'll be selling. If you guys are it, I'll be out in the lobby selling. I have a T shirt that says, you know, marshmallows, if you guys remember that joke. All the proceeds go to me. Anyways. I'll sign them. I'll be out there. But let's. Enough of that. Let's go. I'll be selling hats, too. Go to Punchup Live. Robert Kelly. If you want to see me, Robert Kelly Live at Robert Kelly Live on Instagram and on Facebook and Twitter. It's just Robert at Robert Robert Kelly, if you want to hit me up on that. And I do have a website too, if you want to see it. Robert Kelly live.com. but anyways, let's just get to the reason why you're here. Also, I got a new album. I forgot to mention that it's a new. Okay, great. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr. Big J. Alkerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Still not walking yet?

[Robert Kelly]

Nope. Now, when are you going to walk out? Put your hand up when you do it. Now he walks out.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm walking out. You know, I'm hitting the steps around now. Yeah, go up. Grab the microphone. What the fuck's up, Weberville? The guy starts talking a little bit. All right, that's a goodie. What's yours?

[Robert Kelly]

A minute two in Metallica. Turn the page. Minute two in.

[Big J Okerson]

Turn the page, Turn the page. So sad.

[Robert Kelly]

Minute two. No, it's not.

[Big J Okerson]

It's about a young girl having a. Watch her mom get raped. Her prostitute mom get raped.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's about a guy on the road.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not what the video says.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not. But that's the video. My version is being. I'm doing Bob Sea version.

[Big J Okerson]

But you're doing Metallica's version.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know it's Metallica's video version.

[Big J Okerson]

But are you the prostitute who in front of. I'm not anybody in front of her daughter. Or are you the little girl hiding in the closet?

[Robert Kelly]

You got little kids singing in yours. It's weird, okay?

[Big J Okerson]

It's a chorus of young people.

[Robert Kelly]

Little kid Medina. It's kids and it's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

And then it's quiet. Little sister, thou shalt not.

[Robert Kelly]

I like that. I mean, that's a little more for you, that song.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. I just emerged from a red curtain. Hello, my darlings.

[Robert Kelly]

You should come up. You should come up on a spinning crucifix.

[Big J Okerson]

Hello, my darlings, My children, all of you gather round. I've got something funny to say.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, mine is great. Ready? Gotta play it, Introduce me. Here we go.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, everybody, if you enjoyed my part of the show, I got bumper stickers that have a couple words that I said in my set at one point out there and a dreidel that each side says one part of the sentence. That shit.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like that your middler is killing. And my Middle douchebag didn't have stupid stickers. This is a black audience.

[Big J Okerson]

I also got that click clap, gang. And I got them shirts that says, my bitch can swallow a banana and not break it. Oh, that's what I'm talking about. So we gonna get your next brother up here on stage, all right? This guy's come here to make y'. All. Oh, man, look at this here. Look at this in the front. This head big than a. This don't have dreams. He has full movies. All right, yo, I see you, man. I see you, man. I see you. All right, all right. No, I know, I know, I know, I know. I get. I just get excited, man. This crowd's so good. This crowd's good. I gotta bring your next comic on, but this crowd's good. Lady's looking fine. Damn. Ladies looking fine. Oh, my Lord, there are some fine looking women. No disrespect. No disrespect, brother. No disrespect. I don't talk about a man's lady in front of his. In front of her, man. But I'm just saying, your girl got. She got them big titties on. Am I right, though? Am I right, though? Them titties keep a family of five warm in the dead of winter. All right, all right. I know, I know. I got you, man. I got you. I got you. Next guy's Bobby Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Wait.

[Big J Okerson]

I knew he gonna play that white. I knew he gonna play that white. What's up, my man? Have a good time. Have a good time off.

[Robert Kelly]

You forgot to bring my water up. What's up? What's up?

[Big J Okerson]

Too dramatic. Can we find your new one?

[Robert Kelly]

Nope.

[Big J Okerson]

It's too dramatic.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't give a shit. Yours is okay.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's not.

[Robert Kelly]

You have little kids and they gonna talk about some chick's pussy. It's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

Put it on. I talk about the little kids. Pussies. No, it's grown women singing, and I talk about the little kid buzzies.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not grown women singing. It's little kids.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's gonna get crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's little kids.

[Big J Okerson]

Medina. Hey, Medina.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, this is fat guy music. You're not fat anymore.

[Big J Okerson]

It does sound. Can I tell you something?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Part of the vibe that I think is good about it, that it seems like that tuba e like wonks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You're not that guy anymore, dude. You need something cooler. You're not a. You're not a circus tub of elephant bonk. You just.

[Big J Okerson]

You're just.

[Robert Kelly]

You're just trying to get yourself enough time to get on stage without running out of breath.

[Big J Okerson]

What should I do? Dancing in the Sheets by Shalimar. Let's try that one. Say my name to Dancing in the Sheets with Shalimar. Dancing in the Sheets by Shalimar.

[Robert Kelly]

What part, though you're gonna come out at?

[Big J Okerson]

I'd say go right here, but I'm still standing by saying, ladies and gentlemen.

[Robert Kelly]

What's up? You guys having a good time? Don't forget next week we got Shane Gill. He's here next week. All the shows are sold out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But they just added a nooner on Sunday. So before we get there, this is.

[Big J Okerson]

What I do backstage.

[Robert Kelly]

Give it up for your. Your MC Steve Burn, everybody. You guys ready for the guy you came to see? Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm talk. What about you guys over there? Are you ready to. Are you ready? What about over here? You ready? What about the back? Are you ready? Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr. B. J. Alkerson.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm coming out, I guess in a dance.

[Christine]

Can you please do that?

[Big J Okerson]

You and me, we should be dancing in the she. What's up, Denver? Dancing in the she. Y' all remember this shit, right? This is a song. Your grandmama granddaddy, too.

[Robert Kelly]

I like. I. I can't. I can't say that. I don't like that. No, I like that.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you come out? Dancing in the sheets, buddy?

[Robert Kelly]

It is.

[Big J Okerson]

Grab your coat and wave goodbye to your friends.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it.

[Christine]

I want you to have a team of people behind you, like Patrick Swayze and Dirty Dancing. That just follow behind.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Have all the open microphones.

[Big J Okerson]

I wish you could do that move.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Patrick Swayze, Dylan and Mike.

[Big J Okerson]

That wasn't good.

[Robert Kelly]

Whatever.

[Big J Okerson]

That was Patrick Swayze and does this.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, yeah, he did do that, but you look more like Swayze. No, he went, who's the fat dude on SNL that did it?

[Big J Okerson]

Chris Farley.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You're in the middle of that. In the middle. Yeah, you look like Patrick.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how you describe herself.

[Robert Kelly]

You look like Patrick Swayze.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, your friend hot. He goes, he's somewhere between Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you are. Right now.

[Big J Okerson]

You are between a young Swayze and Chris Farley.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's not bad, dude. I would. I would take.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude, if I could dance like this, nobody would know you could dance like that.

[Robert Kelly]

You'd take it in the butt. How did he not. How is he not gay with all that.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, Corey Holcomb says, oh, come on. Look at this part here.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, he's definitely. He's a man's man, though. He's a. He was a cowboy.

[Big J Okerson]

Learn it. I already know it.

[Christine]

Should learn it for Skank Fest.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at me doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

We can't. Remember, dancing is not for radio.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's also not allowed in this. That state. Yeah, it's a footloose state.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So. Yeah, that state. I think that state still employs footloose law. Oh, remember the entire place got behind him. A 15 year old.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Fun fact about this. You know the whole lake that. That was filmed on.

[Big J Okerson]

Gone. See that? I know it dried up.

[Robert Kelly]

Dried up. It's all gone.

[Christine]

But you can still. It's still like a resort, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but no lake.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not a resort.

[Robert Kelly]

You can go there.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's all shut down.

[Robert Kelly]

I think you can go up there and check it out.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like, oh, they let the riff raff.

[Christine]

He's like 40.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Everyone, look, that guy right there with the mustache is going. He goes, oh, it's okay. Look at the guy with the mustache going. Oh, we can just.

[Christine]

Oh, no way.

[Big J Okerson]

We just teenagers now.

[Robert Kelly]

We can. The kids.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, dude, I didn't know that.

[Christine]

I didn't know we could. The doctors.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd love to. Kids.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I've been. When the. This doctor's kid the last three summers.

[Robert Kelly]

That's why that. The lake dried up because it was all. They were fucking the kids in the leg and all the jizz sucked up all the water.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, what a progressive. Remember, he's like, hey, remember I gave you an abortion a couple minutes ago in the movie.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at these lesbians. Hey, they can fuck kids. We can fuck each other. We can be lesbians. These two old ladies.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, man.

[Robert Kelly]

You see that?

[Christine]

I watched this movie for years before I knew what an abortion was.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at her. Do you see that? Milf.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, hang on. Christine. Say that again.

[Christine]

I watched this movie for years before I, like, knew what an abortion was.

[Big J Okerson]

Got it. Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't believe she said that twice.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if I knew. I don't know if I knew what happened either. They said she was pregnant and then she was bleeding. I don't really know. In my mind, the baby was just like, miscarriage.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Something.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't know the baby was gone.

[Christine]

I don't think I knew.

[Big J Okerson]

I just thought. I thought something was wrong with her. I got that because I wanted to know.

[Robert Kelly]

Miscarriage. Something was wrong. With her egg.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I guess. And then. And then Robbie, the guy who knocked her up, by the way. Her fault. She. The. She fucked the resort dickhead kid. She's one of the punk people that should be. Why did she not fuck? She wasn't. She used to fuck Patrick Swayze, right? They do admit that they had a thing. They had a thing when they were back in their 30s.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Who fucked who? F. She. She.

[Big J Okerson]

Patrick Swayze. The girl who got pregnant. But she got pregnant by the asshole kid.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Who fucked the 15 year old. 17 year old sister. Everyone's going to jail, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

The movies theory really falls apart if you employ any kind of law. Statutory laws.

[Robert Kelly]

But it's worth it.

[Big J Okerson]

But worth it though. I mean, I guess. So. Patrick Swayze, I mean he put it out there. He was like, hey, I'm not leaving town until you Let me. This 15 year old girl. Yeah, that's. The sister is gonna go the same nerd.

[Christine]

Oh no.

[Big J Okerson]

This, when she catches him, a different mom.

[Robert Kelly]

Who is that? Wait a minute. Go back. Who is she?

[Big J Okerson]

That's Robbie, that's Rob, That's Robbie. The guy who Patrick Swayze beats up for getting the girl pregnant and not caring.

[Robert Kelly]

I've seen this movie once.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Christine]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I'm not. I'm not into Bobby, buddy. What? I'm not into dance.

[Big J Okerson]

This movie has very little to do with 15 year old.

[Christine]

30 year old.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Statutory rape.

[Robert Kelly]

My, my. Shows like this were fast. Fast times at Ridgemont High. Little darlings.

[Big J Okerson]

Those movies didn't have a 35 year old fucking a 15 year old.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't come to what you're talking about, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at this. This is all about dance.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's about. They're using the dance as an excuse to get sweaty.

[Robert Kelly]

And then on the floor, buddy, listen. This movie was for women. Look at him. He's all angry with a leather jacket on. Yeah.

[Christine]

His keys are in the car.

[Big J Okerson]

He can't get into his car to impress this 15 year old.

[Robert Kelly]

It's 60 year old car. You can get into it with a fucking. A coat hanger.

[Christine]

With a thing from the ground.

[Big J Okerson]

Now he's gonna kick a pole out of the ground.

[Robert Kelly]

All you have to do is get a coat hanger. And he doesn't have to do this. He's getting carried away. I don't like it. I'm getting anxiety. Why are you doing that? And he hits the back window. You're gonna cut your hand open. Now rain's getting in.

[Big J Okerson]

He just wants to impress a 15 year old girl so he can bed her down, bro.

[Robert Kelly]

How old is he in this?

[Big J Okerson]

37.

[Christine]

Unknown. She says it was a summer. I turned 16 in the beginning.

[Robert Kelly]

So she is 15, but is legal. Well, this is the 1950s, right?

[Big J Okerson]

It's all legal. Ask Jacob's family.

[Christine]

60S, 60s. Yeah. I think it's supposed to be like 1963.

[Big J Okerson]

This takes place in 63, dude. So you could kids back then.

[Robert Kelly]

You could.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they say it's the greatest generation, guys.

[Christine]

You can kids now.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't kids.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but you have scot free. Yeah, yeah. You could round them up easier.

[Christine]

Now it seems like with what's going on, you can do it without incompetence, consequence.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you start a twitch stream pretty much.

[Robert Kelly]

But this is all. He's dancing again.

[Christine]

No, he's on the log and they're gonna go back and forth on the log. You're crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby showing his balance on the log so he can a 15. You don't even understand what the movie's about.

[Robert Kelly]

He's teaching. He's Miyagi her into dance. He's grooming her through dance.

[Big J Okerson]

He's grooming her.

[Robert Kelly]

It's.

[Big J Okerson]

He's put it under false pretenses. He is spending a lot of time with her so he could eventually her 15 year old. Stupid little.

[Robert Kelly]

But with dance. No, through dance.

[Christine]

No, not through dance.

[Robert Kelly]

Through dance.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. He will not be dancing in her. He will be thrusting back and forth with his.

[Robert Kelly]

I guarantee he uses dance moves when he too.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, absolutely. Oh, I bet he goes like 2, 3, 4 the whole time.

[Robert Kelly]

A little cha cha cha cha cha. One, two, cha cha cha, three cha cha cha.

[Christine]

Patrick Swayze was the love of my young mind's life.

[Big J Okerson]

Why not? You know? You know he's down the kids.

[Christine]

I was like, maybe he'll me when I'm 15.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean maybe when I turn 15 he'll come off his me.

[Robert Kelly]

This should be Jacob's guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Patrick, I'm getting some pubes.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like five six, right? How tall is he?

[Christine]

They're all like five six.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. This Jacob, this should be your man.

[Christine]

Jacob, you should just be a movie star.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree.

[Robert Kelly]

If right now she fell onto that other log and it went right through her spine.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, you have a fantastic body like Swayze. You've got great core balance like he's demonstrating right here. And you're down the a 15 year old girl.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, this is dead dancing again. This is so stupid. I love how Swayze smoked four packs of cigarettes a day. So this is the only Time in the day when he's not smoking.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Here's what I also like, that he didn't like her at all.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. They didn't get along, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Of course they didn't.

[Big J Okerson]

I think they hated each other. It was going really, really bad.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, because he's like a cowboy dude, right?

[Big J Okerson]

He was a dick.

[Christine]

He was just like a movie star. And she was kind of. Was this before Ferris Bueller?

[Big J Okerson]

No, after Ferris Bueller, I think. And then.

[Christine]

And then she ruined her face.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, she was in Red dawn also.

[Robert Kelly]

He was in Red dawn too.

[Big J Okerson]

He wasn't Red Dawn.

[Christine]

Oh, Ferris Buellers was first.

[Big J Okerson]

They didn't like each other.

[Christine]

You guys know the movie Reckless?

[Big J Okerson]

She's the best part. Can I tell you something though? All this said she is, hands down. By the way, they give you a shot of her nipples right here. She's 15. I.

[Robert Kelly]

That lake is gone, by the way. The lake is gone. Go ahead.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Pedophile lake. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Kid jizz lake is gone.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Pedo Lake.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. But all the bodies are still in the legs.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they drained the swamp, but the bodies were still there.

[Robert Kelly]

That's why they drained the lake. They had to get all the kids bodies.

[Big J Okerson]

This movie didn't make. The hindsight of it is just.

[Robert Kelly]

But she's not 16 in the movie. In life.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, she's 14 in life.

[Robert Kelly]

No, seriously, in the movie. She's 33 in the movie. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that true?

[Robert Kelly]

No. I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

But she sets up the best scene in Red Dawn. Bobby, you know what it was? She's the one that. She gets them to chase her from the store and the guys start chasing her and then she runs past and they all jump out of the bunkers.

[Robert Kelly]

Man, that's cool. That is a great.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the best scene of the whole movie.

[Christine]

It says she was 26 when they began. When they began filming in 19.

[Big J Okerson]

She was a woman when they were done.

[Christine]

And they're also saying she was supposed to be 17. She was not supposed to be 17.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a lie.

[Christine]

She says the summer I turned 16.

[Robert Kelly]

Where did she say that?

[Christine]

The very beginning of the movie. She's like, kennedy was shot, like right.

[Big J Okerson]

Before you realize you should have your wiener out already.

[Robert Kelly]

Right when you have to put it back in.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And then put it back out.

[Big J Okerson]

She goes, oh, this is a movie about dance. And she goes, that was a cinematic turned 16. You go, oh, hang on, hold on now.

[Robert Kelly]

One more minute. Yeah, I know. I saw this movie once in its entirety. And then I've seen bits of it over the years when it's on. But it's not a movie for me.

[Big J Okerson]

My grandma.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a guy.

[Big J Okerson]

My shirt.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a. I'm a. Can I just say something, Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

You're. You're a dancer. You have dance and theater in your heart. I do? Yeah. Dude, you should be like Rocky Howard Picture Show. That's your. That's your.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not gonna be muffin topping fishnets. You're not gonna catch me doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

But I'm.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm more of a, you know, a man's man.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm more of a man when it comes to movies.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, here's what happened.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I say something, though? In different parts of our lives, you're more manly than me. Hmm.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know which ones. Maybe. I will tell you this.

[Robert Kelly]

I think music.

[Big J Okerson]

This was. I don't know if it's a sign of masculinity.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

My mom took me. My grandmother, I think, had a talk with my mom when I was like, like, eight or so. That was like, you guys should start, like, doing stuff. It shouldn't just be like, he stays here or stays home. Like, you guys should be, like, doing something. So Sunday became like, I don't know how long we did it for, but it became like, mom, son, movie, movie night. We go to see a movie.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And we drove to Yaden, Penn, because it was the only time we could see the movie. To see Dirty Dance. And just sitting. Watching a movie, like eight or nine with my mother, who was at the time, what, 26, and just sitting there, like, awkward. I mean, these. It's so, like, sexed up energy in this movie, for sure. Very weird sitting next to my mom, watching that. I remember liking the movie, but not really, like, just hoping to God there was like, okay. It's so weird as a kid to feel a feeling of like, all right, no more dirty stuff, huh? Let's just stop. You know, the lady comes in and sees the guy in bed with the lady. You know, even a scene like that, when you're with your mom, you're like, oh, that guy's doing that thing with that lady. And that other lady saw them.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. This isn't Greece.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I go, mom, do you think in a few years, Patrick Swayze will have sex with me?

[Robert Kelly]

She was like, you.

[Big J Okerson]

He will, baby. He will.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't understand, too, that it's. These kids are so rich that they go away for the summer. Was such a weird thing to me that someone had that much money where you could just went away.

[Christine]

No, no, no. The dad's a doctor and the guy that owns the resort. Yeah, he did work on him.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Doesn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

He's rich. He's a doctor.

[Big J Okerson]

You have to assume he's rich. Yeah, but I will say this. This is not a rich person's vacationing. Whatever these things are.

[Robert Kelly]

To me, it was. We couldn't. We didn't go on vacation.

[Big J Okerson]

I understand, but this is not.

[Christine]

Yeah, but you're poor.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, relax.

[Big J Okerson]

What's almost my point if you're.

[Robert Kelly]

But I mean, you know, this is. This. This is called below middle class.

[Big J Okerson]

You come from pure, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, dude. Now everyone knows it.

[Christine]

That's an Armenian. It's called Petty.

[Robert Kelly]

Shan, can you tell her not to use those voodoo words?

[Big J Okerson]

What the.

[Robert Kelly]

She said. She said Petty Shaw. I don't know what that is, but it scared me.

[Big J Okerson]

A bunch of gibberish.

[Robert Kelly]

Now, ever since she. She got old, she's gotten very vicious.

[Big J Okerson]

She speaks in tongues now.

[Christine]

I'm completely full of. She absolutely doesn't say the summer I turned 16. She says it was the summer of 1963.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, so she doesn't say she could be 17. She's 17.

[Big J Okerson]

That's. Because.

[Robert Kelly]

That's fine. Christine just made something up and passed it on.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm telling you, there's so many.

[Robert Kelly]

People passing this on on the radio now. She's 16 at the beginning.

[Big J Okerson]

Please don't kill my come.

[Robert Kelly]

She's 16.

[Big J Okerson]

She's. She's 15. Turning 16.

[Robert Kelly]

She's turning 16.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys, please, can you say it lower.

[Robert Kelly]

And say it JJ. Just reassure me. She's 15 and this is the summer. Yeah. She turned 16. 17.

[Big J Okerson]

That is legal.

[Robert Kelly]

And she turned that Patrick Swayze out, too.

[Big J Okerson]

I look in the mirror. He took this so seriously, this song, you know? He did?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Why wouldn't you?

[Big J Okerson]

Because when no one could tell him.

[Christine]

This soundtrack means so much to me.

[Big J Okerson]

Does it?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Really?

[Christine]

Front to back, every song.

[Robert Kelly]

No love.

[Big J Okerson]

Just love. 1950s songs to hump, too.

[Christine]

Be my baby. Hey, baby. Hungry Eyes, this one.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, hungry. It really does jump around because they give you all that stupid, like, hungry eyes.

[Christine]

No, he's not hungry. I see. She's like the wimp.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, do you know who is Hungry Eyes?

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on. Sing a little bit of it for me.

[Big J Okerson]

I've been thinking to tell you I.

[Robert Kelly]

Got a feeling they won't subside I.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at you and I fantasize Hungry.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on. Come on, Bobby. Come on, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it Kenny?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'll give you the. I'll give you the only other song you would know that he sings. Oh, no. Couple. All by myself and I can't live if living. Isn't that him, too?

[Christine]

Oh, if you're like, who sings this? I'd be like, Dirty Dancing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Dirty Dancing sings.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. The soundtrack to this stupid movie. I don't know.

[Christine]

Eric, you know this song.

[Big J Okerson]

Eric. Carmen.

[Robert Kelly]

I know the song, but I don't know the soundtrack.

[Christine]

I have no idea who.

[Robert Kelly]

Eric Carmen. Yeah, that's your world, dude.

[Christine]

But I know this scene.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God. This whole movie is dance.

[Big J Okerson]

It sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, it stinks.

[Big J Okerson]

But I am thinking, do me a favor, Lou. Go back to Hungry Eyes. Go back to hungry eyes at 20 seconds in. And let me see. Is this a good outro intro song? Everybody make some noise for Big J Okerson. Hi. Hi. Wisconsin. Hi. Thank you. Guys, how about it for your host, huh? And the staff? Pretty ladies out here, huh? Pretty gals out here. And old Wisconsin songs.

[Robert Kelly]

Gay holmes.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, so it's not working.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. No, that's not your song. I don't think it's your song.

[Big J Okerson]

Eric Carbon.

[Robert Kelly]

You got come up. You got to come up to something, Rocket. It's got to have rock to it.

[Christine]

I always like Gun show.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. What about that song we. What's that song?

[Big J Okerson]

How about By Demons Be Driven?

[Robert Kelly]

What? No, Hang on.

[Big J Okerson]

Before you say no, give me a little bit. All right. Can I do it? I'll do the intro.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna do the intro. Ready, you guys ready? You guys ready for the. The man you came to see? Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Big J O. Gosa.

[Big J Okerson]

Crank it, Lou.

[Christine]

You know what? This could work.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you gotta do stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

Ah. What's up? What's up? Keep it going for your host, local black dude. And your feature, local girl comic.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't Forget the other five guest spots you give.

[Big J Okerson]

And the other five guest spots all doing 7 to 10. Are you guys ready for the best 23 minutes of your lives?

[Robert Kelly]

Don't forget Dylan. You gotta thank Dylan.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks it for doing. Doing stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank Paco.

[Big J Okerson]

And then they'll fade it out.

[Robert Kelly]

That's good.

[Big J Okerson]

I like. What is this? What do you do?

[Robert Kelly]

I like that. What do you do? Face. Hey, man. Nice shirt, douchebag. What's her name? Idiot. Dude. Hey, nice. Nice tits, idiot. You dingbat. What's going on with those tits? What's going on with your goofy tits?

[Christine]

There's a girl at Stanks last night that had just like a great rack, but she was framed, like, right in between, I think Lewis and Jay's head the whole night. So, like, there's just this perfect pair of tits between them the whole show.

[Big J Okerson]

I wanted to keep point. I want to keep pointing at them, but it's like you can't tell when the cameras, like. Like which way it is.

[Robert Kelly]

You think it's me and Aaron Berg in the audience.

[Big J Okerson]

She showed her nips at one point.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, she Flashed little nips on a big huge titty. Was great.

[Robert Kelly]

I love. I love a flash. Yeah, that's a nice.

[Big J Okerson]

It really brighten everyone's day.

[Robert Kelly]

We got a girl one time at the creek in the cave when we did the regs. We got a.

[Big J Okerson]

How many years ago? Say statute of limitations.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a long time ago.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. That's probably well past this being creek in the cave.

[Robert Kelly]

So it was definitely.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God. You can't even pro. You couldn't prosecute this if you wanted to. Go ahead.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it was skank. No, it might have been skank. Yes, it was skank first.

[Big J Okerson]

So many rapes, by the way. Aside from there already.

[Robert Kelly]

But the girl was a short hair, look like a dude. Front row. You remember her?

[Christine]

I follow her. I know exactly. I know exactly. She's my raindove.

[Robert Kelly]

Raindove.

[Christine]

Raindove.

[Big J Okerson]

That was an episode of Legion of Skanks.

[Robert Kelly]

She does a. She does a. She does a. She models as a man and a woman.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And she's. She's actually pro. Palestine. She went. She went to Palestine to get food. But she does man and woman. But she actually was so cool. We thought she was going to be a problem, but she pulled her. She went topless right in the room. Sick titties. That skanks we were on.

[Big J Okerson]

We didn't. You did an episode of Legion of Skanks at Creek.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, is that.

[Big J Okerson]

We had. When we had like no audience.

[Robert Kelly]

But I got it.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe. What did you do it at Creek and Cave Liver? Yeah, maybe it was. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And we got her to take her top off.

[Christine]

She's got massive.

[Robert Kelly]

But really they were nice.

[Big J Okerson]

She was really thin.

[Robert Kelly]

She took them out. She. They shim. I don't know.

[Christine]

I actually don't know what her.

[Robert Kelly]

Them. She's. She's. She's pretty as a guy. I like her as a guy.

[Big J Okerson]

What's that?

[Robert Kelly]

I said she's good.

[Big J Okerson]

Come again? You said what?

[Robert Kelly]

I said she's hot as a. You know, like a bro. Dude, look at that. She's got big juicy gazoobs. Yeah, it was weird.

[Big J Okerson]

She does have nice gazoobs.

[Robert Kelly]

It's weird. And. And she like you said she was a little thinner back then, so the gazoobs were great. Yeah, she's. What's that word? Androgynous.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, there it is. Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Christine]

I don't know. She's cool if she's non binary.

[Robert Kelly]

I think she would hate us now though.

[Big J Okerson]

You think?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Why? Because I kept my wiener I am.

[Christine]

I. No labels, no letters.

[Big J Okerson]

Why? Because I claim. Because I identify as a woman, but I keep my wiener. Well, then deal with it. Rained up. I'm sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

I was just over Norton's house doing his show.

[Big J Okerson]

Speaking of his.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, speaking of. Exactly. And he was like, nikki's in the other room. She was. She had some surgery. And I was like, not. She didn't ruin anything, did she? She said no.

[Christine]

She did facial feminization.

[Robert Kelly]

What is that?

[Christine]

It's where they meet.

[Big J Okerson]

Who did?

[Christine]

Nikki. She's bandaged right now.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? What is it?

[Christine]

It's where they take features. I think it's like the shaving down the Adam's apple and they, like, make you a little less. Like, if you have a square jaw. I think they thin that out. It's just feminizing.

[Robert Kelly]

Can they do that to a regular chick who's not become a good guy?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. They did it to China.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, right. I want them to do it to me.

[Big J Okerson]

I want a softer woman's face.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but I never transitioned. I stay, dude. But I look gorgeous.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, gorgeous. That's what I want. I want to get a. But still say, I'm a guy. I identify as male. I just wanted a. I just wanted a stupid. I just wanted a stupid little.

[Robert Kelly]

You have a nice puss.

[Christine]

A nice puss.

[Big J Okerson]

And then when I'm up there telling my little jokey jokes, people could always go, you know that underneath that you're a misogynist.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, nah, check this out. And just pull your puss out. Be like, right, I got a puss.

[Big J Okerson]

Why do you hate women? I go, hate them. I am one. And they go, is that real? And then I have to open it. I have to split it for my fingers. I don't know. Is it.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it. Why don't you come over and take a lick and a sniff? Why don't you give me a lizard and tell me if that's real or not, you fucking piece of shit racist.

[Big J Okerson]

Why don't you poke the yolk and tell me? You tell me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you misogynistic piece of garbage. Who's that?

[Christine]

That's Bruce Jenner. Okay, Caitlyn Jenner.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. Who's the one on the right?

[Big J Okerson]

That's another guy who became a lady.

[Robert Kelly]

She's cute.

[Big J Okerson]

And another guy became a lady. That was funny. When old men make the transition, dude. I don't give a what you say. Take me off the air. Fire me. SiriusXM. It's nothing but hilarious seeing an old man become an old lady. Who gives a. I'll tell you what's.

[Robert Kelly]

The best, though, is when a. What a nice Filipino, Asian, Thai one does it.

[Big J Okerson]

That one right there would get me.

[Robert Kelly]

God damn.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. That Filipino one right there. I'd be. I'd be nuts deep in her butt wondering why balls are hitting my balls. I go, are you have. Do you have, like, mistletoe hanging from your pussy?

[Robert Kelly]

Can we see how much it would cost to get Paco to transition to just a hot chick?

[Big J Okerson]

I think we can do it for $2,000.

[Robert Kelly]

The Skank Fest. I'll take him on the road for a year, you take him on the road for the next year, and we get him to transition to a smoking hot smoke show. Filipino. But you go first year, I go second year here.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. Yeah, that's fine.

[Robert Kelly]

I want all the wounds to heal when I'm taking her on the road.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, oh, okay. I got you. I'm going to be in there for the rough parts where we have to keep. We have to keep him dilated so his. He doesn't close up. Like a. Yeah, like a finger cut.

[Robert Kelly]

You're going to put a Nike up his snatch just to keep it open.

[Christine]

So this isn't for boobs or BBL. This is just the face between 20,000, 50,000 or more.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Or more.

[Big J Okerson]

We don't need Paco. Paco's face is already pretty ladylike.

[Christine]

We should get him a BBL though, for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.

[Big J Okerson]

If we're paying for a bbl, I'm getting it.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, dude. Don't waste it on you.

[Big J Okerson]

I am.

[Christine]

Jay wants a dumper.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't get a dumper, dude. You look good, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't need a. I need a caboose.

[Robert Kelly]

It's going to look weird. You can't come up with that song then. You just can't. You're going to come up with a different song. Come on, baby.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at Big J with In Day's Duke song. I want you to. Is a man getting an ass?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think you need one, dude. Just do the. Say that, dude. This is what you do. Just do the band workout with me and Jacob and the boys on Saturdays. You'll get an ass quicker than you know.

[Big J Okerson]

No, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Right, Jacob thrust things.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't got that kind of time, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn right.

[Big J Okerson]

I just want to go to sleep and wake up with a fat ass.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what? That's the American way to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn right, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Goddamn America. Wake up With a. Just a fat, juicy one.

[Big J Okerson]

Call me J. Minaj.

[Christine]

People are saying that they smell.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you know what? Can I say something really quick? During healing, they're saying that. What's his name? Who's the. The one with the big booty? The rapper girl.

[Christine]

Cardi B.

[Robert Kelly]

He broke up with her because her ass smelled.

[Christine]

No, that was a. It was a lie. That was fake.

[Robert Kelly]

I heard her. There's a lot of people that. A lot of guys that he dated set. Her ass stinks down there. Smells cardi Bs and puss smells.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of guys that she has.

[Robert Kelly]

Dated that she's been with. It like. Yeah, that's not smelling dried cum.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, is it dried cum? Possible.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't know Jacob was gonna come up, but he did date her for a while.

[Big J Okerson]

Rumor circulated that. Circulated that Stefon Diggs broke up with Cardi B because he found her BBL to have an unpleasant smell. Specifically comparing it to a trash bag. It's a rumor, but Diggs eventually responded to it by saying, it's Cap. So can you do me one favor? What?

[Robert Kelly]

Cause I'm from. I'm just a white dude in his 50s. What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

Cap.

[Robert Kelly]

What's Cap?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that means they weren't keeping a buck.

[Robert Kelly]

What? I'm sorry. So, okay, what's a buck we're keeping in a yard.

[Big J Okerson]

They want to keep in a yard.

[Robert Kelly]

A yard?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. They're not standing on business. You got to go.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Ten toes to the floor. Would you guys go through this again?

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. No, you don't. I'm sorry. I apologize. 10 toes for the floor.

[Big J Okerson]

Cardi B also addresses the rumor vehemently denying the claim and pointing out her history as a stripper, emphasizing that she always had to maintain good hygiene. But this isn't nothing to do with hygiene. They're saying this rumor is that a BBL just smells.

[Robert Kelly]

Smells.

[Big J Okerson]

But again, it's probably blaming something for. They just don't have good chemistry.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell you this, though. You have a bbl, you better clean it more than once because you're on a hot day in New York City. You're dancing, you're flying, you're walking. You take even the littlest of poops, and you don't get all that poop out. That juice is going to mix with your ass juice, and it's going to be in that. That big, thick crevice, which is big like an asshole shouldn't. The crevice of an asshole shouldn't be that big. But because you have A bbl. Now, there's just a lot of room. There's a lot of ass armpit in there with the ass juice with the poop. And now it's mixing up, and if you ain't cleaning it a lot, you might smell.

[Big J Okerson]

And you thought you were going to forget your master's degree thesis. Come on, now. Come on. That was good. Word for word. Word for wor. Like you wrote it.

[Robert Kelly]

10 toes down.

[Big J Okerson]

10 toes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yo, man.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby Kelly stands on business.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm standing on business. I'm giving it. I'm hanging on the yard, too.

[Big J Okerson]

Want to make a commitment right now to call our next specials? You call standing on business, and I'll go ten toes down.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we switch it up. Could I do ten toes down?

[Big J Okerson]

Sure. Ten toes down, and I'll do standing on business.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, there we go.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm staying on business. Or we both just call both of our specials Baddies. Baddies. Shot o'. Clock. Cardi B. She wrote some lyrics about her smelly ass.

[Christine]

She came out.

[Big J Okerson]

Her new song Outside is widely interpreted as a diss track targeting her ex husband Offset, while also referencing her new relationship with NFL player Stefan Diggs, which is over the lyrics. Particularly mentioning your favorite player from your favorite team. He and my dm. Yeah. That is a funny thing when a girl can get to, like, multiple celebrities, and it does, like, hurt. You could hurt a guy who's not a professional athlete by fucking his favorite professional athlete. That would be a bummer.

[Christine]

I think he really is, like, his favorite player on his favorite team. If I did, I think she may have targeted him.

[Robert Kelly]

If I did her, she'd have to fuck Larry Bird, which wouldn't bother me. I'd be like, yo, go laugh.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a lot of people I wouldn't have a problem with. Christine fucking Tyrese Maxey would be a bad one. Joel Embiid.

[Robert Kelly]

I would never.

[Christine]

You wouldn't like that.

[Big J Okerson]

That I would. She's.

[Robert Kelly]

I would not have a problem with Dawn, Kevin McHale. Or Krimsky.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no, I guess I mean, more. You know what if me and Christine, like, separated?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And in between that, she just went and. Do you know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Like, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Was I with Joel Embiid for a couple weeks?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That wouldn't. I'd be like.

[Robert Kelly]

It'd be worse for you because you'd have to go, offspring. That would suck. Have to listen to this stupid music.

[Big J Okerson]

While you go sublime.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God.

[Robert Kelly]

Way worse for us.

[Big J Okerson]

Furry ass armpits.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Honey. To Franco.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Big J Okerson]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Franco she said Franco. You said Franco, but she said she micro.

[Big J Okerson]

Franco.

[Robert Kelly]

She micro corrected you.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm fine with it.

[Robert Kelly]

And I didn't like it.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'm fine with it.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't like it.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't give a about she liked it. I don't care about Christine's D rock.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I don't like micro correction in any form.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, you could tell.

[Robert Kelly]

I know what he meant. Michael, I need to.

[Christine]

Frank, I'm winking at Bobby right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, don't micro correct him ever again. I hated it in any form. It's Ani DeFranco. DeFranco. I knew what he meant.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't though.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I know who Ani DeFranco is.

[Big J Okerson]

The Franco Are Afraid of Black People song.

[Robert Kelly]

White people song.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why people are so scared of black.

[Robert Kelly]

White people are so scared of black people.

[Big J Okerson]

That was that old Ron and Fez used to have that drop all the time. White people are so scared of black people. It's a weird lyric for this hippie dip chick. Yeah.

[Christine]

I could tell what surrounds it.

[Big J Okerson]

What Christine puts on the radio is. I could tell. Like, she has so many tells in her life based on the music playing.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I said Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

I could tell. I hear a little DeFranco playing, I go, someone started a period. You know what I mean? It's like that. You can set your watch by stuff like that, right?

[Robert Kelly]

What? How do you know when she wants some. When she wants a piece. What song is that?

[Big J Okerson]

Who?

[Robert Kelly]

Her.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, she wants to.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

The music of seduction. Nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

No, come on, there's gotta be a song.

[Big J Okerson]

Nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

When she's in the mood to get down. What is she playing?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think I'm there.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, so you have to hear it on the ring.

[Big J Okerson]

They ask what she jams her clam to. I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

You'd have to hear it on the ring camera. While she's in the pool flicking her bean on a float, she listens to.

[Big J Okerson]

The Cure live black people. Oh, my God. What terrible music.

[Christine]

It's not terrible music.

[Robert Kelly]

She's.

[Big J Okerson]

It's God awful.

[Christine]

Brilliant on guitar and prolific, but whatever.

[Big J Okerson]

No. No one ever says that she's going guitar at all.

[Robert Kelly]

She's not really.

[Christine]

People think she's going guitar all the time. She's on lists.

[Robert Kelly]

What the. Did you just say she's on lists?

[Big J Okerson]

Means nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

What does that even mean? What list doesn't mean anything?

[Big J Okerson]

It's stupid.

[Robert Kelly]

You just said she's on list. Look how fat Let me just say. Can we see how fast she's typing to get her list up?

[Big J Okerson]

Her Ani DeFranco stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

I need the Franco.

[Big J Okerson]

The Franco.

[Robert Kelly]

The Franco.

[Big J Okerson]

God, your voice makes me sick.

[Christine]

Mine?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, yeah. No, I mean, I met yours, but what.

[Robert Kelly]

What lists?

[Christine]

She's on any list.

[Robert Kelly]

She's not on any list. She's. Nobody has her on any list. How about this?

[Big J Okerson]

She said she's on list.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Not just list. List.

[Big J Okerson]

List. Ani DiFranco writes the lyrics of your heart. She really does.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. She's not on any list. She's on a list.

[Big J Okerson]

And those lyrics are about Christine being afraid of black people.

[Robert Kelly]

She's on a shit list.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine. She really is on the.

[Robert Kelly]

She's on a shit list. Songs that will make you jump off a bridge.

[Big J Okerson]

She's on my not to do list.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she's on a list. If you're down, I'll tell you what. If you're on suicide watch, they won't allow you to listen to her music.

[Big J Okerson]

Yo, they had to get down to 250 top guitar players of all time to get her into it. There's not 250 famous guitar players.

[Robert Kelly]

And she only plays one guitar.

[Big J Okerson]

Acoustic slashes on it three times for three different bands.

[Robert Kelly]

Bugs me. Her high. She has 75 inch.

[Christine]

She's really short, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, be short. I thought you liked yourself.

[Big J Okerson]

She looks like Liz Melee. And she has the same judgmental face.

[Christine]

Yeah, they're both Italian.

[Robert Kelly]

Judgmental. Telling people how to be father's face.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what she's doing. She goes, I'm a lesbian, but don't hit your kids. We'll have one. You bulldike.

[Christine]

Yeah, she has two.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't be too manly around your man. Boys make them not manly.

[Christine]

And she's married to a man.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she's married to. Is he a man?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you consider he's not a man?

[Christine]

Producer.

[Robert Kelly]

Producer. Then he's not a man.

[Big J Okerson]

Why didn't she have kids then? Because she's got a penis.

[Christine]

She has two.

[Big J Okerson]

She said she adopted him.

[Robert Kelly]

No, she didn't bring up his man.

[Big J Okerson]

She made them out of her.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So wait a second. You're telling me that behind all those lyrics you love and that big old guitar, she has a stupid little pussy down there? Just a hairy little. Just a hairy little stupid hole for penis.

[Robert Kelly]

Did the guy have to put his comment a lesbian's mouth and the lesbian just spit it into her vagina?

[Christine]

I mean, I bet they've had a threesome or two Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

So you don't have these answers. I thought you know everything about it.

[Robert Kelly]

What's it. What's her main.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought that she was. I thought a man's come was felt into her by her lesbian lover.

[Robert Kelly]

She's fouching the pussy. Oh man. I want to see what this man looks like. Oh yeah, let me say.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, dude, this granola eating.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah, come on. Jason Steinberg, medium shirt. Listen.

[Big J Okerson]

God, they love you. A boring family.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Does she have money?

[Christine]

Yeah, sure she has something.

[Big J Okerson]

Why don't she fix her face?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, why don't you get better tits? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Why she have black people lips?

[Robert Kelly]

Why she have an overbite? Why don't you fit that teeth?

[Big J Okerson]

What's her stupid tattoo across her chest?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, why don't you just get a chain so she can take it off and not look like an asshole?

[Big J Okerson]

Why are tits different sizes but they're both small?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, why don't you dye her hair so it's not dirty hay red?

[Big J Okerson]

Why do her nostrils go to her dimples?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, why is her elbow so weird?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, she shaved her head at one point. Pretty much. I can make fun of that now.

[Christine]

Shiver had twice.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Jesus, that's more jarring than anything.

[Robert Kelly]

God damn it. She looks like she was from the 40s in Germany.

[Big J Okerson]

She looks like. She looks like three point sharpshooter Reggie Miller.

[Robert Kelly]

She does look like Reggie Miller.

[Big J Okerson]

She looks like nothing compared to Jew.

[Robert Kelly]

She looks like every mediocre comic in Brooklyn right now. She really is for sure male and female.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, her music is like guitar comedy. I don't like it.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but the crowd likes it for some reason. Live.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wow, honey, DeFranco has fans.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, great concerts.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's not true.

[Christine]

Wonderful performer, really something special.

[Big J Okerson]

She just stands there and plays guitar and sings by herself.

[Christine]

She has a different tuning for like she always.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd rather go watch K. I want to watch Katy Perry almost fall off of a stone. Done.

[Christine]

She glues. She super glues nails. She super glues nails and wraps in electrical tape and finger picks.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Oh, she's edgy. I'd rather watch the Cure in my house for a day and a half.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, a one full day and a half? Yeah, of that concert on repeat.

[Robert Kelly]

But only the first four songs they played.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, none of the one knew.

[Robert Kelly]

None of the. I want all their new album.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, can you loop just the new stuff?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, we gotta take a break, don't we?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we have to take a break.

[Big J Okerson]

If you're gonna come well, we got.

[Robert Kelly]

We got a sweet little guest coming in.

[Big J Okerson]

A little Andy Fury, little merc face.

[Robert Kelly]

No merc face coming back in.

[Christine]

He's not coming in.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not coming in.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, well, he's not coming in. We'll be back. Hey, I'm not gonna have this guy on the goddamn show. Andy Fury piece of.

[Robert Kelly]

He's in the middle of doing something that probably went long.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you think he's doing?

[Robert Kelly]

He was doing something with a tell.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you know Annie Fury behind Annie.

[Robert Kelly]

Fury or Annie DeFranco?

[Big J Okerson]

Annie DeFranco.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No. ANI is Bobby's telephone lover.

[Robert Kelly]

That's true. And I haven't talked to her all weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Because you've been watching.

[Robert Kelly]

No, because I was with dawn and my son. I can't turn her on. You know, she.

[Big J Okerson]

She remembers you on.

[Robert Kelly]

She remembers. Oh yeah.

[Christine]

She starts talking to Max. She's like, flip over, I'll lick your.

[Big J Okerson]

Dawn's gonna be like, so how are you gonna get this place over there in Hudson yard?

[Robert Kelly]

It stops the square at the loft. Listen, we're changing. We were talking about it. We might go to west side. Okay, listen, I haven't talked to her all week, so. It's funny. I did pass her on to Rich Voss though, and I haven't heard from him.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you haven't.

[Robert Kelly]

He's amazing. He. He. I think he. He has his own room at his house. I believe Bonnie was away and I.

[Big J Okerson]

Believe I soundproofed it.

[Robert Kelly]

I think that he's taken her to the limits.

[Big J Okerson]

He's wrecking her. Oh my God.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm very interested to find out what he did. But you know Jacob. Jacob was supposed to do his thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah, Jacob, have you had full.

[Robert Kelly]

But Robert, it's me as cupid.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm your wild and fun 16 year old girlfriend. At 3:14.

[Robert Kelly]

We got into a fight. I told her to stop mentioning the time. I go, I want you to. And I said it stirred. I was like, stop. She's like, ah, baby, I'm sorry. You know, I.

[Big J Okerson]

And you told her to stop so many times.

[Christine]

Yeah, how many times can you say the same thing?

[Big J Okerson]

You're gonna have to put your hands on.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey man, why don't you mind your relationship Christine?

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, I put hands on Christine. If she tells me the time, I'm gonna.

[Robert Kelly]

I know I'm gonna put thumbs on my aunt honey.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. If Christine doesn't give me time and weather and traffic on the ones, I will beat her like a real like Ike Turner.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine. You see that next time you're having sex with Jay. You should just give him the time.

[Big J Okerson]

You're gonna make me come at 2:23?

[Robert Kelly]

2:33Am all right, we gotta take a break. We'll.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll be back isn't on my menu.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.