Female Prostate with Che Durena

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Episode: "Female Prostate with Che Durena"

Release Date: July 3, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In this lively episode of The Bonfire, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly navigate through a series of humorous and unfiltered discussions centered around a recent Pride brunch at SiriusXM’s New York City lobby. The episode seamlessly blends comedic banter with candid conversations about sexuality, pop culture, and personal experiences, setting the stage for an engaging dialogue with their guest, Che Durena.

Discussion on the Pride Brunch and Lobby Anecdotes

The episode kicks off with Big Jay and Robert humorously addressing the aftermath of the Pride brunch. They joke about the lingering smells in the lobby, attributing them to the festivities:

Dan Soder [01:20]: "But I suspect also it could be the sweet lingering smell of buttfuck."

This light-hearted banter leads to a playful speculation about the events that transpired during the brunch, with Big Jay attributing the Pride movement's origins to mafia involvement in protecting gay clubs:

Big Jay Oakerson [03:02]: "The mafia. Back when being gay in New York was very bad... Because we're making so much money on this place because all these gay people, these, you know, secret gay guys could go down there and have fun."

The hosts delve into the complexities of organizing events like Pride in corporate settings, blending historical insights with their trademark blunt humor.

Exploration of Sexual Themes and Humor

As the conversation progresses, the hosts and their guests engage in a candid and humorous discussion about various sexual topics, including squirt vs. pee, preferences in sexual acts, and personal experiences. This section is marked by a series of comedic exchanges that highlight the show's unfiltered nature:

Dan Soder [49:15]: "When you have a girl you're not attracted to at all... it really strikes you how not sexy it is."

Big Jay Oakerson [50:46]: "He'd rather have a pretty girl with gross piss. Just awful piss."

These exchanges showcase the hosts' ability to tackle intimate and sometimes taboo subjects with humor and honesty, making the conversation relatable and entertaining for listeners.

Introduction and Conversation with Che Durena

Midway through the episode, the hosts welcome their guest, Che Durena, a comedian set to perform at various venues including the Just for Laughs festival. The introduction is met with comedic remarks about Che's involvement in explicit content creation:

Christine [37:37]: "What's up? Thank you, man."

Dan Soder [37:39]: "I was about to ask Ralph the thing I saw you on a social media thing with a porn star that I follow."

Che Durena discusses his experiences in the adult entertainment industry, emphasizing authenticity in his work:

Robert Kelly [38:18]: "I talked to her, so I interviewed her once, and she's very... super authentic."

The conversation delves into the technical aspects of creating adult content, such as the distinction between squirting and urination, highlighting Che's analytical approach to his craft.

Comedic Skits and Interactive Segments

Throughout the episode, Big Jay and Robert engage with their co-hosts and guests through various comedic skits and interactive segments. These include playful challenges, humorous hypotheticals, and light-hearted debates about personal preferences and experiences related to sexuality.

For instance, the hosts creatively discuss the mechanics of a "squirt catcher," blending technical discussion with humor:

Big Jay Oakerson [59:35]: "How am I going to collect the pee in a respectable way and get as much as I can."

Che Durena [60:00]: "Which is... pretty good of you."

These segments not only entertain but also showcase the hosts' ability to infuse humor into technical or sensitive topics.

Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts reflect on their discussions, reinforcing the show's commitment to candid and humorous conversations. They express appreciation for Che Durena's insights and contributions to the episode, wrapping up with a final round of jokes and light-hearted comments.

Robert Kelly [62:35]: "It's so different."

Dan Soder [52:05]: "Feel bad that we made you feel terrible about not liking Squirt."

The episode concludes on a high note, leaving listeners with a blend of laughter and thoughtful reflections on the topics covered.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dan Soder [01:20]: "But I suspect also it could be the sweet lingering smell of buttfuck."

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:02]: "The mafia. Back when being gay in New York was very bad..."

• Dan Soder [49:15]: "When you have a girl you're not attracted to at all... it really strikes you how not sexy it is."

• Big Jay Oakerson [50:46]: "He'd rather have a pretty girl with gross piss. Just awful piss."

• Robert Kelly [38:18]: "I talked to her, so I interviewed her once, and she's very... super authentic."

• Big Jay Oakerson [59:35]: "How am I going to collect the pee in a respectable way and get as much as I can."

• Che Durena [60:00]: "Which is... pretty good of you."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire exemplifies the show's unique blend of unfiltered humor and candid discussions. Through humorous anecdotes, interactive segments, and insightful conversations with guest Che Durena, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly deliver an engaging and entertaining episode that resonates with listeners seeking both laughter and honest dialogue.

For more episodes and live shows, subscribe to The Bonfire on SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103, and follow along for daily comedic insights and conversations.

Transcript

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I like it.

[Dan Soder]

This is good. This is a good way to weave in because I know we had a rough time getting in here today because I know there was a pride brunch today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And it was hours ago out there. And I'm sure it was prideful and I'm sure it was full of lovely gay people having gay experiences. But it smells like asshole in the park, in the lobby. It smells like. It smells like butt fuck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Now that could be my mind playing tricks on me because I know there was a gay event there and probably it's just everyone's BO because it's so hot out. There's been people walking around here all day. Probably is what it is. But I suspect also it could be the sweet lingering smell of buttfuck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I don't know what's allowed to go on in the SiriusXM lobby. I'm not one of the higher ups, Jacob.

[Jacob]

Don't say that.

[Dan Soder]

You are. Was there gay sex in the lobby earlier?

[Jacob]

Well, I missed the morning.

[Dan Soder]

So you don't know for sure?

[Jacob]

I don't know. I can't say yes or no.

[Dan Soder]

DJ Lou, were you here?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Dan Soder]

Hmm. They did it without music, huh? Acapella. Gay sex. All right. Black Lou, were you here?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was not here.

[Dan Soder]

Damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was.

[Dan Soder]

You were here?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You were in early.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I showed.

[Jacob]

Came in just for that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I came in for the gay lobby.

[Dan Soder]

Acapella stayed for Bennington.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I actually, I showed up for Bennett. I was supposed to do Bennington And I showed up.

[Dan Soder]

Go ahead, play it, Lou.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then I went into the studio, did a whole big thing and they looked at me weird. And then they went, why are you here? And I was like, I'm supposed to do Bennington today. They're like, next Wednesday. I was like, serious. Can I give a little. Do you want a fun fact about gay people? Gay lobby, do you want a fun fact?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And maybe you didn't know Gay pride.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guess who started it.

[Dan Soder]

Straight guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The mafia.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The mafia. Back when being gay in New York was very bad. You could lose your liquor license. You could. They'd take away the. Shut down your club and you get in trouble, get arrested.

[Dan Soder]

La Nostra.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I liked it.

[Dan Soder]

Jacob Sha. Come over there and slap you in the arm for that one and give you an arm slap.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe they had. They had a. They had a gay club, serious. And they made a. A lot of money off of it. And they paid the cops to stay away, stay away. Just let it. Because we're making so much money on this place because all these gay people, these, you know, secret gay guys could go down there and have fun and do all this stuff. And it was making tons of cash. And then the cops finally were like, you know what? Enough of this. Enough of this queer stuff. And they came in and broke it up. And they went in and they were grabbing people, like there was all transvestites and stuff. They were grabbing, checking people's. See if she's got a penis, you arrest her. She's got a vagina, let her go type shit, Bobby. And then they.

[DJ Lou]

Welcome back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They. They Gay lobby. They, they actually. The gay people fought back and were like, fuck this. And they started protesting. And that's where the gay pride movement happened. Because of this mafia gay club that the cops tried to break up. They were like, we're done with this.

[Dan Soder]

And now you get to live out loud.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now you get to the lobby of SiriusXM on a Wednesday in June wearing.

[DJ Lou]

Short shorts once a year.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So thank. Thank you, thank you. Mafia. The Mafia. You can thank the Mafia if you're out there and you're out of the closet and having sex and doing your thing. Now.

[DJ Lou]

No lesbians.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The mafia kind of was indirectly. They were progressive. Hey, money, money talks.

[Black Lou]

XM money talks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Butt Fox walks.

[DJ Lou]

$60.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Black Lou]

Serious sex.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't that a wild. Isn't that crazy?

[Dan Soder]

It's really wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Mafia was like, let the queers have some fun. We're making money off them. They love margaritas. Charge Them extra Bobby thinks gay sex is mafia. I do. It is mob. It's mob. Gay sex is tough. Mob stuff.

[DJ Lou]

You say you're going to work a sanitation job.

[Black Lou]

You're just going to have gay sex and serious exam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can love.

[DJ Lou]

Bobby's parking at a sanitation truck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, guys, I'm gonna take a break real quick. I'll be back in around five minutes, all right?

[Dan Soder]

Bobby's going up.

[DJ Lou]

Serious upset. Lobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Vinny, you want to come with me for a sec? I got to talk to you about that cement job.

[Dan Soder]

I'm all good, boss.

[Christine]

Nah, nah, nah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come over here.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. We should go talk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Finny and Bobby, that cement job, right?

[DJ Lou]

Doing quote unquote cement jobs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, real quick, let me ask you a question. Do you like gay sex?

[Black Lou]

Serious sex?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me too. Take yours out. Let me see what you got.

[DJ Lou]

Green pies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Look at that.

[Black Lou]

Comforts serious sex.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. You want to cool down waiting? Why don't you come in my Cadillac for a second?

[Black Lou]

Serious exam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna kick the AC on and maybe we could jerk each other off for lunch instead of eating.

[Black Lou]

It's brunch, bukhaki. It's serious. Exhale.

[DJ Lou]

All the donuts are glazed, if you know what I mean. Oh, yeah. Constant butt sex in the middle gym.

[Black Lou]

That's serious exam.

[DJ Lou]

Jim's walking around with hors d' oeuvres Sex.

[Black Lou]

Serious exam xm. Formerly just serious.

[DJ Lou]

Damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's hot.

[Dan Soder]

That's how none of us got invited. None of us got invited to it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't get your.

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your flag in the mail?

[Dan Soder]

I barely got an invite to the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert last time. You're gonna invite me to gay sex in the lobby. That seems like elite.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's it.

[Dan Soder]

That's higher ups.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know what that was. When was the Red Hot Chili Peppers thing? Oh, whoa.

[Dan Soder]

That was before. It was genuinely before you did the show was the last time. It was like a one of the Apollo. Second time they were doing the Apollo shows, I think, and I got offered. I think they were like, you can have a ticket. I'm okay. Thank you. I never asked for every concert I go to, I just buy tickets. I don't even think to ask anymore outside of or I'll buy them through like CAA or through just like seatgeek, but I really do not. Like, I never think to ask SiriusXM for tickets because they're gonna. It's gonna hurt my feelings. Every time they go. Tried, bro. I'd rather just get it myself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't even know we could ask our agent for tickets for stuff. I never thought about that.

[Dan Soder]

Well, yeah, sometimes they can get it for free. You'd think. But mostly they'll just pass it on to the ticketing thing where you can just get face value tickets.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, and plus the people that are getting those tickets are the agents, if there is free tickets.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, well, listen, I assume we don't get free tickets over here a lot because you got to keep a lot of mouth shuts because of all the lobby gay sex that goes on at Pride brunch.

[DJ Lou]

Bobby and Fanny exploring each other's bodies in the lobby.

[Black Lou]

Serious exam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Jay, come here. Check out this. Vinny's got something to show you. Jay.

[Dan Soder]

Nah, I'm good. I'm good on the site.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come over here. I want to see. He's got a little move he wants to show you.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, but he's gonna show me a move, huh? Let me get in there. Where are we doing this at?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right over here behind the Porter party at the lobby.

[Black Lou]

Serious sex.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Him. Look through that hole right there. Jay, put your eye up to that hole.

[Dan Soder]

Looks like there's something in the hole right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look in there. I got a surprise for you.

[Dan Soder]

What's that? I'm gonna put my mouth on the other end of the hole. You surprised me, eh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, happy birthday to you and Vinnie and J.

[Black Lou]

Gay sex. Serious sex.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Jacob, come here for a second. What are you doing over there with that cute little jacket on? The jacket on? A jacket with a vest and a shirt. You look hot. Why don't you take one of those off? Get over here.

[Jacob]

I am kind of hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you look a little hot. And I mean that in two different ways.

[DJ Lou]

Now Jacob's involved with Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, let me ask a question. You like sangria? Get over and grab yourself a silly cup.

[Jacob]

That's great. Thanks, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Hey, why don't you. Why don't you put a straw on that and show me how you can wrap your lips around a straw?

[Dan Soder]

Now look, give me straight up. Justify My Love Instrumental. It's always coming down the gay sex.

[Black Lou]

SiriusXM.

[Dan Soder]

Let's see. You know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, SiriusXM does support Pride Month because we allow gay sex here in the lobby.

[DJ Lou]

Bobby, Finney, Jacob and Jay.

[Black Lou]

Gay sex. Serious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Jake, Jacob, real quick. You've seen DJ Lou around?

[Jacob]

I seen him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

He works with his hands.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me ask you a question.

[Jacob]

You think the keys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think he'd be into maybe dancing backwards in the lobby with us.

[DJ Lou]

DJ Lou gonna twist your buttons.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, DJ Lou, come here for a second. How you doing?

[DJ Lou]

Make sure everything is even and sounds good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How's that new girlfriend doing? You all right with that? Is it going good?

[DJ Lou]

She can't satisfy him like you can.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kind of busy right now, Bob. Yeah, that's the way I like you. I like you busy. I like your little fingers twinkling around on the board, if you know what I'm saying. Why don't you turn that scally catch backwards and get to work? D.J.

[DJ Lou]

Go down, down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, guys. You guys really want to get this party started?

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where's Black Lou? Let's really funk this up, huh?

[DJ Lou]

Uh oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sick of all these mediocre peckers. I want a nice can.

[DJ Lou]

Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black Lew. Hey, man, what's going on? How you doing, buddy? Chilling.

[Dan Soder]

You know, on the construction site.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, man, let me ask you a question. Yeah, what's up? Can you touch your toes? You know, I can't even reach past my knees, player. You know, Let me see. I'm gonna try, you know, because I heard the older you get, you know, you should be able to touch your toes.

[DJ Lou]

Now it sounds.

[Dan Soder]

No, this is kind of weird, Bobby. Sure, Yeah, I can do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, man, just do it that way. Face away from me. Jacob, DJ Lou and Jay, you're not prepared first.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey. Oh.

[Che Durena]

All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, maybe. Maybe this will help you a little better. Unbuckle your belt buckle just a bit. Hold on. You know, play.

[Dan Soder]

I don't really do that gay stuff.

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm trying to help you out with life. It's gonna get your circulation.

[Black Lou]

That's serious. Sex him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, hey, Black Lou. Let me take a quick swipe.

[DJ Lou]

It's okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, you can get a swipe. Ah. God damn. What the hell's up there now? Here's my Venmo. You know what? It was worth 500 bucks on a good day. Hey, do me a favor. Can you tell Christine to beat it? She's ruining the vibe. Oh, you got to go.

[DJ Lou]

We could probably use her small fists.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to second that. Get her little hands back in here. Have her do that. Oa. Oh, I see what the hell.

[DJ Lou]

Christine's gonna get you ready for Black.

[Black Lou]

Lou and gay sex at serious xm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, touch your thumb to your index. Finn, your middle finger, like when you're telling us what's what. Yeah. Now let's stick that right in my butt. Come On Jacob.

[DJ Lou]

Yelled at by a woman while I'm dominated by a man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Mr. Hint. Look at Jay's face and spit it and tell him he's a loser.

[DJ Lou]

Tell me my dick's little.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tell. I'll tell you dick's little because it's in my ass right now.

[DJ Lou]

I'm so hard for you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me tell you something.

[Black Lou]

And gay sex. Serious sex. Sam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dan Sota didn't know what he was missing.

[DJ Lou]

He was too uptight. He didn't like the direction the show was going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. That's why you tapped on my shoulder and said, hey, Bobby, I think you might be into this.

[DJ Lou]

Dan's funny and all, but he's too.

[Black Lou]

Tall for gay sex. That's serious sex him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's got no butt either.

[DJ Lou]

No butt? You need cushion for the push.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dan Sodo with gay sex.

[Black Lou]

Serious sex him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, guys, we gotta wrap this up. We gotta go do a show. So let's get some baby wipes. Clean up. Jacob, put your jackets back on. Black Lou, pull your pants up. You nut.

[DJ Lou]

Everybody finished the same time. It was amazing. Five construction workers becoming one under the sun. And we ought.

[Black Lou]

Gay sex, Serious sex. Stem exam, formerly serious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, boy.

[DJ Lou]

I think I see Scott Greenstein in the corner.

[Black Lou]

I'm gonna go try to have gay sex. Serious xm.

[Dan Soder]

I guess I'll try some more sexy around here. No one hits on me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? What are you gonna wear?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. Revealing clothes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How can you get more sexy?

[Dan Soder]

Probably maybe go a little higher with these shorts. I've been tanning my thighs more and thinking about showing a lot more thigh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. If you're gonna work out in this lobby, dude, you got to be ready to go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should get yoga pants and just cut one leg off like. Like that. Like that. Track star.

[Dan Soder]

You notice when we came in that the guy. What's his name? Do we just call him Boris or is his actual name.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think it's Vladimir. Is it Serge?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, Serge, the Russian guy out front. Not there today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know what he saw.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know what he saw. He was in the. He was actually in the bathroom. I bumped face to face with him.

[Dan Soder]

Did you really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I.

[Dan Soder]

Was he hiding in there from all the gay sex in the lobby? And serious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was actually shorter. I don't know why he got shorter.

[Dan Soder]

I wonder if the pride brunch was delightful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it probably was. What's the. What's not delightful about a pride brunch?

[Dan Soder]

I'm sure. I wonder what it was There you go.

[Jacob]

Look at those mimosas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I knew they had mimosas.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, man. Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God. They have no. They. We get salsa chips to die for. It's insane. I'm eating big cheese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We get small water.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, what, do I have to wear drag to get sushi in this place?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What is. What is. Is that Turkey sandwiches on, a.

[Che Durena]

Egg and cheese sandwiches on, and then.

[Black Lou]

Cream cheese and serious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everything is creamy.

[Dan Soder]

Pride brunch, serious Sushi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that it?

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Ball bags, oysters and shrimp.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was anybody. Is that it? Nobody else was here.

[Che Durena]

I think that's it. I think that's all Page Six put up.

[Dan Soder]

Place was glowing with pride. Michelle Obama was there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Taylor's whipped.

[Che Durena]

No, this is just their other stuff.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, come on. A true classic. T shirts was there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Michael Douglas was there.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, dude. Paris. Something before and after was there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Black Lou]

I need you.

[Dan Soder]

You know, I timed it perfectly. Now I've watched it enough. Have you heard of super bowl champions? The Eagles from Philadelphia?

[Black Lou]

I went there once.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hi.

[Dan Soder]

Don't worry, the season's ahead of us. You're gonna hear us on a lot. As many wins as they have, Monday morning will be. How many? Oh, yeah, it's a hit. I'm gonna make it national. The guy's a star. You can follow the guy. He writes a song about anything. By the way, Isabella follows him and showed me that. He's also sent a message to Iran.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did he?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he'd like Iran not to bomb us. And by us, he means the U.S. it's a beautiful, beautiful song. I don't think he takes anything seriously enough.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who is he, Jay? Does he do this chest slap to Iran?

[Dan Soder]

Who is he? I'll tell you what. He'd be a star in the lobby at SiriusXM. Frosted Jake. You know what that means?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. All over his face.

[Dan Soder]

Jizz. Jizz. Jacob. Jizz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jacob knows.

[Che Durena]

Looks like he's starting his own Sauvignon Blanc.

[Dan Soder]

Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's starting what?

[Che Durena]

He has his.

[Dan Soder]

He's making his own white wine.

[Che Durena]

That's the name of his album.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's funny. She thought she was starting his own wine business. The lead singer, a tool.

[Dan Soder]

No, give us an about. Give us an about. Okay. He's from Los Angeles now, in Brooklyn. Okay. So we can get him in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, if he lives in Brooklyn, we should have him come in and sing that song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we should have him come.

[Dan Soder]

We should have him come and then have him sing the song afterwards when he's nice and relaxed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You could be frosted, Bob. He has studied English and computer science at the University of Chicago. Maybe this is our new camera guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at that Paco.

[Dan Soder]

His work's been featured by Hulu, hbo, Max, TMZ and Fox News. He's made branded videos for Jimmy Choo, Apple TV, JanSport, Poppy and more. I like to balance the earnest and the absurd. I think I like them.

[Che Durena]

You see, after Fox News, he wrote lol.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I think I like him.

[Jacob]

What do you think about Jay to kick off the football season in studio performance?

[Dan Soder]

If we can get him after the game. Games on a Thursday. So that Monday when the Eagles and I'm sorry Lou inevitably trounce the Cowboys. You don't think it's going to go a different way?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I absolutely think.

[Dan Soder]

Come on, you're out of your mind. You guys have lost a lot of players. We've gained.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You haven't lose them all.

[Dan Soder]

We had 700 offensive linemen. Everyone's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you lost. You lost all those players, dude.

[Dan Soder]

All those players. It's going to be. It's going to be a debacle. Listen, catches Week 11 or some, whenever they play later in the season, who knows? But you're getting Saquon Barkley. Everybody's there day one. He's gonna be a massive secondary too, I believe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, you lost a fish. You lost a fifth dairy, old man. Buddy, aren't you gonna. It wasn't he on Madden? Isn't he gonna get hurt? Isn't that the.

[Dan Soder]

That is scary. Yeah, that is a little scary. That's why I said game one. Although historically Madden the curse is actually hit in preseason where it's like an injury that it can't play that season at all. It's happened before. I think Mike was Michael. Vicky a bad one of that. Riek missed a year. No, I think Michael Vick. Oh, that's what it was. No, he was on the COVID and then he fought dogs illegally to the death. That was different. That's gonna be that. It's not gonna be on field problems with Saquon Barkley. It's like, oh, he's on the COVID of Madden. Oh, my God. He's got a bunch of children and crates in his basement that he has sex with. Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus.

[Dan Soder]

The ballad for Caesar salad. Come on, this guy's got great songs. Yeah, you have to go to his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a ballad for Luigi, the guy who murdered that guy. Instagram or whatever ballot for Luigi they got. He shot the guy.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, God, we gotta hear ballad for Luigi.

[Jacob]

What a weird look. He'll do a ballad for the actress. That's it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe see what this is.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you for killing that guy, Luigi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does he do the chest slap and all?

[Jacob]

Which one is this?

[Che Durena]

Just saw a photo of his torso online. I think that pretty privilege lets you do a lot. Like get a murder charge, then have the world declare you're fine. Luigi, you're so pretty, and I know you're in hot water, but the comments say you're being framed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Luigi.

[Che Durena]

One. Nikita, kiss me. And I hope you plead insanity. So capitalism's play.

[Dan Soder]

How many ugly. Has a girl coming with tonight, buddy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She should be in all them.

[Black Lou]

Champions.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's.

[Che Durena]

I'm looking for that on Instagram.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, we could have really wooed this guy this afternoon at pride brunch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What about the new Pope?

[Dan Soder]

We up? We should have figured out who this was earlier and got him here for pride brunch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if he's not gay?

[Dan Soder]

What if he's not gay? I'll suck your dick on air.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, let's put this down. If he's not gay.

[Dan Soder]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna suck my dick on air in front of him.

[Dan Soder]

To completion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then he's gonna make a song.

[Dan Soder]

You gotta start hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay's gay. I gotta start hard, Right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm making my pep types. I'll be there.

[Dan Soder]

Just start hard for me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I got you.

[Dan Soder]

Well, I don't want to get you. Here's the I'll be weirded out that I'm turning you on. I know functionally I can make you come quick, though. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But also feel terrible if you couldn't get me hard. I would feel terrible about that.

[Dan Soder]

I'm like, Damon, I'll do it for you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Squeeze my tits together. Oh, here we go.

[Jacob]

What's the this one?

[Che Durena]

This is Iran.

[Dan Soder]

You wanted to hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's also.

[Che Durena]

We have new pop.

[Dan Soder]

Listen, I want to hear a couple of these.

[Che Durena]

Please don't bum us. And by us, I mean the U. I. This is so much better than that headline. Shook me through Google. How to stop a war. Cause it feels wrong didn't know what to do but Google had a clue she said the answer was the song. Hey, everyone, please don't pump us. And by us, I mean the you us. Like I did a major in poli. Science. Majored in English. So I'm sorry if this is insensitive message. Little candles at a prayer Rather conflict over there Hoping everyone remains strong.

[Dan Soder]

I.

[Che Durena]

Can provide my help and my Help. Is this gorgeous on.

[Dan Soder]

Please don't bum us. And by us, I mean that you.

[Che Durena]

Are like I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm major in voice.

[Che Durena]

I majored in English. So I'm sorry if this is an insensitive message. Hey, everyone, please don't bomb us. This is really scary. Like, really, really scary. Right? Everyone thinks should have vote and stay safe and raise up the voices of the oppressed and vote for what you believe in. Oh, read more of. All right, I'll raise my voice.

[Dan Soder]

Can this guy come in and do this behind us talking the entire show, like not stop sing about what we're doing now. Bob, he's getting upset about micro corrections.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Jay's looking at his.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, that would be great by.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It must be so fun to be that gay. Seems. Seems like.

[Dan Soder]

So you do think he's gay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but I just still want to roll the dice that you blow me.

[Dan Soder]

I have a feeling, though, when we find out that you're going to have to blow me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait a minute.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That wasn't the deal.

[Dan Soder]

No. Every bet the reverse is true. Is that how every bet works? We say we bet $20. It's not like if you win, you get $20 from me. And if not, it's over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not fun. Me blowing you is not fun.

[Dan Soder]

What are you talking about?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me blowing me is awesome.

[Dan Soder]

No, I think it is fun. I talk non stop. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna shove your head in my butthole and jerk off over your head like this. You want it to go faster? Lick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not blowing, dude. That's licking.

[Dan Soder]

Lick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Licking your butthole.

[Dan Soder]

Look, no, you have to. We have to handle each other's situation down there until we finish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then he writes a song about it. Bobby and Jay. But then Bobby had a premature ejaculation. He came real fast because of J. Soft hands. God, this guy is funny.

[Dan Soder]

Go to a different song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He has so much passion. Yeah, he like. He really just shoots passion out on words.

[Dan Soder]

He could really play music. Yeah, he could sing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this the Pope? Yeah. Let me hear this.

[Che Durena]

I hope that this pope likes the gays. Knows that gays are great. Sometimes religion isn't good to people who are queer. So through this song I'm trying to sway your fear. I hope that this poppy likes the gaze. Leo likes the gaze.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, wow, he got serious at the end there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he really hopes that the pub likes the gaze.

[Dan Soder]

Can I hear the ballad for Caesar salad, please?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I'm going to close all my sets like that. I'M going like this guys. Thank you so much for coming out.

[Dan Soder]

God bless the bout of Caesar salad.

[Che Durena]

Have you ever had it? It's so good and crunchy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love his tit drums.

[Dan Soder]

You can catch every one of these songs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tit drums are my favorite new instru me.

[Che Durena]

We'll have to work instead.

[Dan Soder]

We should join black step teams.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sucks, buddy.

[Dan Soder]

Black L. What do you have to do to make us q dogs? Brandis. I'll do it.

[Jacob]

Can I hear the tariffs? Ballad for tariffs?

[Dan Soder]

Of course.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Che Durena]

Dan are 30 seconds.

[Jacob]

I love when he gets political.

[Che Durena]

Or like what if we didn't do that? Like what if we didn't do that damage? Tear apart the layers of history we have with other countries. I'm so confused cuz I don't want to pay any more for an iPhone or airpod. My country's bruised. We're in the g in a country run by fr.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so passionate. He puts so much passion on words.

[Jacob]

For the last one, I'll ask because I just don't understand why you would make a song for the ballad for Carrie coon.

[Che Durena]

Who's Carrie coon?

[Jacob]

She's an actress. She's just a.

[Che Durena]

This is a song for Carrie Coon. You look amazing, girl. And when you went to the fight, I was proud of you for taking advantage of the whole damn world. Your friends are totally rude. Like, why would Jacqueline kiss that dude?

[Jacob]

I don't understand the reference just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I love rooting for you and.

[Che Durena]

I hope you don't get shot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can you do Costco? A ballot for Costco?

[DJ Lou]

Yes, maybe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ballad for Costco.

[Che Durena]

There's no place better in the world than Costco. Anything. You walk like a dringo. Get stuff back to your house. You go. I also went there for my 21st birthday. Hey, ho, hey ho. C go. Hey, ho. Where the c go? Hey, how do they have you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay's so into this right now.

[Dan Soder]

Tonight, tonight, tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can we hear the original one again with the I want to see that chick tonight. Oh, tonight.

[Dan Soder]

I tell whenever we all just jump in and say tonight at the end is my favorite. Tonight, tonight. Oh, my lord. What is this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a woman who was with a serial killer in a coffee shop.

[Dan Soder]

Really? She filmed him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she filmed because he came and sat right next to her. He sat right next to her and she got really uncomfortable, so she moved. Later that day on the news, the cops arrested him for murdering a bunch of people.

[Dan Soder]

Gilgo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he came right over and sat next to her. Like, just looked at Her. I was drinking his coffee. She's like, excuse me.

[Dan Soder]

He was just like a weird Long island guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Long island serial killer. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy.

[Dan Soder]

I remember that was happening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He. He was a big dude, too.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Go give us a taste.

[Che Durena]

Jeff Dye doesn't like the song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Che Durena]

I don't know. He put Jake Gyllenhaal head shaking his.

[Dan Soder]

Head as a little gift. How dare you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He would like it if we got him into it.

[Dan Soder]

He's wrong.

[Che Durena]

I think he just hasn't heard it right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, maybe.

[Jacob]

This not an Eagles fan.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And plus, he doesn't know the art of tit. Drums do that. Is this up? Yeah.

[Che Durena]

Ever heard of the super bowl champions? The Eagles from Philadelphia? I went the ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hi, Jalen.

[Che Durena]

Hurts so yummy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It should be illegal. So I say, go birds and fly.

[Che Durena]

Eagles fly. Cool. Cool. Like an eagle. Fly. Fly like a man. Like a monster. As hard as you can. Devonte Smith has my heart in a room, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can start.

[Che Durena]

Tonight.

[Dan Soder]

Tonight.

[Che Durena]

Ever heard of the Super Bowl?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is an ad by BetterHelp. Let me tell you something. Workplace stress and anxiety is just killer for me. I'm a standup comedian. I'm in show business. I do podcast. Podcast. I work with some of the funniest people in the world. You think it's all fun and games. It's not. I got to deal with egos. I got to deal with insecurities. I got to deal with all kinds of stuff. I don't want to bring that home to my family. I want to have great days. I want to enjoy what I do. BetterHelp helps me actually deal with all the stress. Workplace stress is one of the top causes of declining mental health. We can't just quit because it's stressful, but we can start with small and little. Focus of wellness therapy is the way you do this. Therapy can help you navigate whatever challenges the workday or any day might have. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It works. It's convenient, too. You can do it from anywhere. You can join a session, click a button, bang, you're in. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] bonfire. That's B E T T E R h e l p.com Bonfire, everybody.

[Dan Soder]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Dan Soder]

Well, I tried to vamp as long as possible, but, you know, if we play more than 30 seconds of music, I'm getting my ass jammed up in court. So we have to jump in. Bobby very discreetly did, like, I have to run to the bathroom real quick, like he was going to piss and come back. I guess it turned into a shit. Jacob, that is your thoughts?

[Jacob]

Yeah, because two things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He.

[Jacob]

He texted us from the. Obviously while he was out, and I went in to pee myself, and there was one stall door shut.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So he's in there shitting for sure.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, that's not Bobby. That's Paco. Hey, Paco.

[Jacob]

I wanted to say something like, is that you, Bobby? But if it wasn't, then. It wasn't.

[Dan Soder]

They wouldn't have answered.

[Jacob]

Yeah, but I don't want to make it uncomfortable in there.

[Dan Soder]

You only talk to people when they shit. No, that's when you get the most truth. Because they want it to be over with.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yes. Yes, yes. I fucked your sister. Yes. Stop talking to me through the door, please. Well, while we wait for Bobby to get back, I will introduce our guest. First time on the show. Big summer for him. He's gonna be on the Nasty show, the Just for Laughs festival, July 16th through the 23rd, and then headlining Club Soda on July 26th. That's all part of the Just for Laughs festival. After that, Denver Appleton, Wisconsin and La Jolla. For tickets and all of his tour dates, go to chedurena.com. you could also listen to Dark Holes with Che Durena and two Goons. Wherever you find your podcast, Two podcasts on fire. How about it for the hilarious Che Durena joining the show?

[Christine]

What's up? Thank you, man.

[Robert Kelly]

I appreciate it.

[Christine]

Dude.

[Robert Kelly]

How you guys doing?

[Dan Soder]

Thanks for being here. I know I want to wait for. For Bobby to get into it hardcore, but I already started asking Ralph the thing I saw you on a social media thing with a porn star that I follow.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I was like, damn. And only because the way she presents herself in Pornography was just like. There's no way after we shot. They shot this scene that she wasn't like, hey, can I just gulp up your cum real quick and have you fuck my ass? Cool.

[Robert Kelly]

I talked to her, so I interviewed her once, and she's very. It's like super authentic. Like, there's a lot of those, like, multi dude gang bangs where I'm like, this is fake. It's a publicity stunt. Like, she's. Everything she does is, like, legit.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I even. I asked her.

[Christine]

Oh, hey, Bobby, welcome back, bud.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry, why? I was in there. I was going the bathroom. I was gonna get out, but then a bunch of hip hop dudes came in the bathroom and I didn't want to.

[Dan Soder]

Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it wasn't. He came in and I was about to come out when he was there, but then after him, a whole bunch of hip hop guys came in and I didn't want to come out of the stall.

[Dan Soder]

Why?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. I felt embarrassed because they know I was taking a poopy.

[Dan Soder]

Is it because you have to shave your head and you have Captain Picard hair?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That hurts, Jay. Nobody knew that because it's radio. You.

[Dan Soder]

I just had to get close to see it. Jean Luc Picard hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look who just showed up.

[Dan Soder]

Paco. Paco's been here, man. You were shitting forever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where's this camera set up?

[Dan Soder]

That's later.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why have it when the guest is here?

[Dan Soder]

So you walked in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? Why record when he shows up?

[Robert Kelly]

Hi, buddy, how you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good to see you again, man.

[Dan Soder]

You walked in on Bobby me asking Chase. I saw him. I think I told you this too. He was in a skit with a porn star that I follow. And I. She's portrays herself as such a open hole of just anybody, please get in here. And me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That I assumed that you had to fuck her crazy after that. And you said everything she does is pretty authentic.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, she. I asked her, I was like, do you, like, come, like, when you do this? She was like, no. Like, it's all just because I want to be used. I was like, that's crazy. But, yeah, she's really about it. She's gearing up to do a 5000 dude gang bang over a week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she's the last girl that just did that. Had to go to the hospital.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a girl? Yeah, you got to pay yourself.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It's about pacing.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But life is about that. Anything you do. Yeah, you have to love it, but you have to Pace yourself.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You got to do it. You got to be smart about it.

[Dan Soder]

I've done. I've done 30,000 hours of stand up comedy, but not in a row. That would be crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Exactly. Exactly. You spread out the 10,000 hours.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

One of these chicks is going to get to 10,000 hours of gangbangs.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you know Kazumi.

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Kazumi by name? The biggest, like Asian porn star right now. And she was doing like 50 dude gangbangs before she was even in porn. She was just doing it for fun. She'll go on Craigslist and get guys to come just.

[Dan Soder]

That's a Clubber Lang training. She's in the real dirty gym. You do all your fancy gang bangs with Vivid. I'm down here doing 50 guys just for the love. Just to get better at it real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Quick, you know, because, you know, they have these eating competitions and they get a trophy and a bunch of money.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you get when you do the 50 hours of gang banging? What's the problem?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

AIDS for sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get hips. You get the hips. Like old hips. Like a ridge. HIV.

[Robert Kelly]

But if you do it right, you should get $200,000 to your only fans probably that month.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you do it.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

If you do it right.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now, here's the thing about you. And I said this to you before.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're kind of into perverted stuff.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you're very classy about it.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a certain je ne sais quoi about your.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I'm more curious. I always found it, like, absurd that we're so, like, we're supposed to feel so shameful about sex, but it's. What.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob feels the same way.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Christine]

You feel.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you a horny guy?

[Dan Soder]

No. He's shameful.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's why he wears all the jackets.

[Dan Soder]

He's full of shame.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not cold. He's just.

[Robert Kelly]

Shame you got to hide the body.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So I was like, let's. I want to explore this stuff a little bit. See why everyone's so horny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Turn the lights on so the camera.

[Jacob]

How long does. 5,000.

[Robert Kelly]

So this day, it's never. No, she. She wants to do over the span of a week. I think fucking Werner Herzog should do a documentary on this. Like, this is. It's honestly crazy.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

5,000 guys. I mean, you stop enjoying it. You're definitely not enjoying it. By guy 40.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not me.

[Dan Soder]

But I. It's funny and I've Said this a bunch in the show that you love cock. I love cock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's crazy.

[Dan Soder]

No, it's those gang. And I don't know what everyone's draw to the gang bang is. Yeah, it's just to me and it's. Again, it's less weird to me.

[Christine]

Yeah, it's.

[Dan Soder]

It's hot, I guess in its own right. That a girl would go, I want to do a 20 guy gang bang at home.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like, I get that that's hot. But they're in pornography. It's the damage to me that a girl's like, hey, the camera set. All right. However many guys just fuck my dumb holes and I'm going to go home. It's something about like. Did you say you did the separation? Yeah, of like. And I said it. It draws back to when China and her career was doing porn and let Ron Jeremy just stuff his soft wiener in her. I'm always like, God, you such a fall from grace.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you say you get her wanting to do 20 guys in her apartment?

[Dan Soder]

No, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Understand that.

[Dan Soder]

No, no, no. I'm saying I said that's hot in the sense because like the girl's being a real slut for herself. I think she enjoys it. It's a weird thing to do it on camera. And what makes it hot on camera is not when they're faking enjoying it. It's almost more when they're like him now. Go ahead.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

The one after the other, like the openness about it. Just whoever wants to take a shot.

[Christine]

Yeah, the.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's. It's getting like to a crazy point where I think someone's gonna go for a stunt that's like, I don't know, 7,000 or they're gonna do. Try to do. I'm gonna do 2,000 in one day. And if so many people have done it that no one's gonna care and they're not gonna get the benefit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do that.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Why is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm trying to take. I'm gonna try to take 30,000 guys.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In one day, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean that'd be huge.

[Dan Soder]

What someone should do is start a new, like a new thing that you're doing a number of.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So you can get in ground level with the least amount. Like I'm gonna do like, I'm gonna get DP'd. Like two in the one in the ass. I'm gonna be the first person to have seven guys do that to me. Do you know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

I like, I was.

[Dan Soder]

It's like set a low bar For a brand new thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Only comics, though. Like, famous comics.

[Robert Kelly]

Famous comics.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'm gonna. I'm gonna end off with Jerry Seinfeld.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bum.

[Dan Soder]

You start. You start with Ornie Adams.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, I came in your ash. Bobby, I. Fantastic.

[Robert Kelly]

I think you're right in that, like, what these chicks are doing with, like, the. How many dudes can I bang? It's very, like, Evil Knievel stunt kind of thing. If we had a chick do, like, hey, I'm going to, like. Oh, like, almost like, what's his name? Houdini. Like, if you had her in, like, a glass case, and she's like, I'm going to suck this dude's dick until he comes and. But lower is like a pit of, like, piranhas. And if she. If he doesn't jizz in time, she, like, falls into the piranhas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, now we're coming up with, like.

[Dan Soder]

I like that.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Now we're cooking with gas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's what I love about you. I sent a thing in the text. Right. Did you get it? Yeah, that is it. Okay. No, no, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, the liver King.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's going to. No, it's about you. Yeah. Being in the sphere, by the way.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe you want to protect your boy a little because he was Liver king. Was. Went to Austin to kill.

[Dan Soder]

I'm an ambassador for the Rogan Sphere. I'm not in Austin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, gotcha.

[Dan Soder]

I'm out here. I'm out here. Boots on the ground in New York.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you did something in a very. It was. It was disgusting.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Perverted.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And awful. But you did it in such a sophisticated way.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because you wore a suit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like a guy who tells dirty jokes but has a suit on.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Somehow makes it better.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did a. Did you get it, Christine? Yeah, I got it. Right. It's a. He did a squirt. He had a girl squirt and then pee. And he did a blind taste test.

[Robert Kelly]

On which one was not just any girl. Joanna Angel. Legendary porn star Joanna Angel.

[Dan Soder]

She's not like me.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Didn't you drink her squirt or something like that?

[Dan Soder]

No, not her squirt.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Gigi Dior.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

We let it. It marinated too long.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh. And it was bad.

[Dan Soder]

It was horrific.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I got it fresh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He got fresh. I mean, this is how fresh he got it. He had. He made a device. A squirt catcher.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Play this clip. This is crazy, dude.

[Che Durena]

Yeah, that's probably an ad.

[Dan Soder]

Me and Ralph had a Asian girl pissing both of our mouths.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry, I didn't know that. I wouldn't have took this job if.

[Dan Soder]

I squatted over us and just took a hot piss in our mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you kidding me? You had a girl squat on your face?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And piss in your mouth?

[Dan Soder]

It's sterile.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? It's piss.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I. I don't. Doing it weekly. I'm saying it was a show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do we know that you're not doing it weekly?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where were you Thursday?

[Dan Soder]

Getting pissed in my mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That's why you got a house in Jersey.

[Dan Soder]

I can't lie if you ask. Yeah. All right. I was non stop getting pissed in my mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're not getting a basketball court put in. You put in a fucking piss. A piss floor put in your backyard.

[Robert Kelly]

Sometimes you gotta get pissed in your mouth for content.

[Che Durena]

Look how.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look how adorable he looks. He's in a suit and he actually has a little handkerchief in his pocket.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it was like. It just came. It's sewed shut. It's really cheap, but it does look nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he made a. A piss catcher with a funnel, a tube and a jar.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And this girl is going to. This is. I believe she's gonna squirt first. Cuz she has a vibrator.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On her clitoris.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And she. She peels her bikini behind and then she squirts into. How long did it take her to squirt, though?

[Robert Kelly]

It didn't take her super long. I would say maybe about five minutes or so, maybe even less than that. But she was like really working it up. And when she gets it going. Holy shit. Was it good? Dude, like, the arc on it is nuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's crazy. It looks like you're doing an interview with her. Like if that was a microphone, like a Howard Cosel. So.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, she's definitely a pro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is. This is. When I saw this, I was like, this is unbelievable.

[Christine]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the color difference between squirt. Because I said to you. I thought pee. I thought squirt and piss were the same thing. Same thing.

[Dan Soder]

That's what dawn tells you. So she can piss on you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wish. Not pissed on me. She'd do something with that vagina.

[Dan Soder]

She passes. She pisses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she pisses. Sounds like a horse. But you. You said that the. It's the. It's different because it's the what?

[Robert Kelly]

The prostate, the ski gland, the female prostate.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's.

[Robert Kelly]

That's where the squirt comes from.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. So it's. It's not a prostate. It's the skiing gland, which is similar.

[Robert Kelly]

Equivalent to the female prostate.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A male has a prostate?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, okay.

[Robert Kelly]

He's learning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I went home last night and I was like, this kid pissed Bobby. He got that.

[Dan Soder]

54 years old and you don't know anything about a woman. Were you handsome and in shape for so long that you never discovered these? He's teaching you things like he's your father.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry. You piece of. I don't have people piss on me. I'm sorry I'm not a gutter Philly douche where girls piss in my mouth. I had sex, dude. That's worse. You fat. Getting pissed on in your mouth is disgusting.

[Dan Soder]

Sterile.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not sterile. It's piss, you piece of. Stop trying to make piss in your mouth a normal.

[Dan Soder]

If you get the Benz, you should drink it. If you get a stingray, sting pisses a great, amazing thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's disgusting. Stop making me. Shaming me for being normal.

[Dan Soder]

You should be more in the piss.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You supposed to be good for your skin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not good for you. I have fantastic skin. I've never been pissed on.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, sure you haven't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. All right. You got me, Jay. Is that what you wanted?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I get pissed on all the time.

[Dan Soder]

It's always raining piss on you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it's only for men. Elderly men. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It keeps you young. Doesn't matter. The enzymes are still there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Buddy. Get the out of here. I don't like piss. I don't like pee, and I don't like. I don't like whatever you call it. Squirt.

[Robert Kelly]

Squirt.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't like it.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna say jizz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was gonna. I like jizz. Yeah. That's why I pulled back. I love jizz. Jizz. Creamy jizz is sweet. Yeah. So much.

[Dan Soder]

Some of it's like, clear, but some of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, like the pre. The pre comb I love. And then it gets thick. That's great. But it's not a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

That's like the kefir on top of the milk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. How do we it. No, but the thing that disgusts me about it is just so much of it.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It just never. And you can see in your face, you're not too happy.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. What. What it was with me was I was so worried about getting the shot because this was a. It's not like she we could do another squirt. She had one squirt in her, and I had to nail it.

[Dan Soder]

A true squirter could squirt multiple times.

[Robert Kelly]

But. But it's like, this is going to be the big one because you're going to end. You're going to empty the tank, right? So I was like, we got to get it. It has to fill up into the jug. I can't cheat the people. And I didn't want to, like, scrape it off of the ground. That dilutes the product.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's terrible. Why would you do that? You want fresh squirt.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's a desperation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, would you let a girl squirt on you? No. What? Only in you.

[Dan Soder]

All right, Christine. If he loves cream pies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you ever been squirt on? Did you like it? You did?

[Robert Kelly]

Why is it like squirt?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're crazy. Raise your hand if you don't like squirt.

[Robert Kelly]

That's so good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Raise your hand if you don't like squirt. That's gay.

[Robert Kelly]

It's gay not to like squirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's not, dude. I just look it, man. I just don't like gay.

[Dan Soder]

You're a gay guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't care about it. That's fine. I'll be gay. I'll it. I can go in the lobby. You can't.

[Dan Soder]

I'm not allowed in this lobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't say I didn't like butt stuff. I just don't like squirt.

[Dan Soder]

Squirt from women?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, dude. I saw a squirt video for the first time when I was, like, 14. I was just, like, ripping through the Internet and I immediately was like, this is beautiful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's gross.

[Robert Kelly]

It's so good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had.

[Robert Kelly]

Have you ever seen Cytherea? Cytherea squirts like a fire hose, dude. You know what I'm talking about.

[Dan Soder]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

First of all, you two are. You guys are two peas in a pod, you dirt balls. No, I'm sorry. I don't. I don't. I don't. I look it. I don't.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. We're going to hit a Waldo because I don't know anybody new really. I, like, stopped at my thing and, like, Cytherea is probably around the last where I knew a bunch of, like, the pro. Now you can't keep up because too many. There's hundreds of. On thousands.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to say this, though. I don't mind, like, people peeing on people. I don't like oh, you're a piece of. For having it done. I mean, I'm joking, but I don't.

[Dan Soder]

Feel bad that we made you feel terrible about not liking Squirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't feel. No. You're out of your mind. I did. I feel fantastic that I never had anybody piss in my face. You should feel terrible that you're just such a lonely scumbag that you.

[Dan Soder]

I don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My mouth. I want likes next to Ralph. And you did it with Ralph. What a weird. You did it with Frankenstein.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, that's why we're friends for life, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Dan Soder]

Now we're friends for life, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't even talk to me.

[Dan Soder]

We share that bond.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He doesn't even like you anymore.

[Dan Soder]

What I'm gonna say that his funeral or vice versa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Anyways. It's just.

[Dan Soder]

Trying to piss with this guy. I don't want to war with him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a fantasy, like watching it and then there's doing it is a whole other thing.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

So fantasize about people pissing in your mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, but like if. Like if you watch a video where a girl pees on a guy or a guy pees on a girl.

[Christine]

Ye.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I think it's.

[Robert Kelly]

You like the power pisser, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What does that mean? The.

[Robert Kelly]

The chick. The power piss.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. No, I like that. That was. That was kind of sexy. Yeah, but if a girl was like, I want a power piss on your face, I'd be like, get the. Away from me. I'm not. You pissing me. I gotta go home to my wife. I'm gonna smell like piss.

[Robert Kelly]

I wouldn't say piss face. Piss nips down is okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No piss face.

[Robert Kelly]

No piss face.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How do you say that?

[Robert Kelly]

Squirt face.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Piss not okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now, the difference between squirt. Because I watched the video and you will see there is a way. There's a huge difference between squirt taste and.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a preference?

[Robert Kelly]

I do have a preference.

[Dan Soder]

Would you rather have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's doing. He's doing. Intelligent hands.

[Dan Soder]

It's rare I get to have a conversation with another gentleman. Would you rather have disgusting piss coming out of a beautiful and beautiful girl or piss that's tasteless, odorless, whatever. Coming out of a gross pussy.

[Robert Kelly]

Disgusting piss out of a beautiful girl?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Dan Soder]

Isn't that crazy? I agree.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait a minute.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you'd rather have a ugly pussy with odorless piss. Bobby, not what you want.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby, get your mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Disgusting.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby, get your mind. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, thanks. You'd rather have a pretty girl with gross piss.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just awful piss.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like horse piss.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I don't know what horse piss is like, but let's say yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, then you're not really a connoisseur. And then an ugly woman with really clean piss.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, yeah, because if she's really, really gross, she's gonna, like, the sight of her is gonna taint the piss.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you have to look at it?

[Christine]

You.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's coming right at you.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And the gross piss, I mean, I like foul smells in general, so I think that's just gonna kind of enhance the situation of any.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I throw up too easy.

[Dan Soder]

We just hit a crossroads. But gross smells for sure. But I will say it's.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, is this Cytherea?

[Dan Soder]

Of course it is, dude. Look, there's a squirt on the screen. Of course it is, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

This is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this is just a mess. And can I say this too? One of the reasons why I don't like piss, I don't like spills. It gives me anxiety. Like when something. If I drop like a bowl of cereal and it spills everywhere or a cup of coffee, I'll walk away. I have to leave. I can't pick it up. I get so much anxiety.

[Dan Soder]

You can steam a mattress.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I know, but I don't want to. You're gonna piss everywhere and it's gonna be places I'm have to get.

[Dan Soder]

Well, don't do piss. Do. Do squirt in the bed. Save piss for not at all. Or shower.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

If you're gonna get involved in piss.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this.

[Dan Soder]

But I will say. But anything about. Yeah, Cytherea for sure, buddy. I think I lost it anyway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry, dude.

[Dan Soder]

No, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You lose it or I lose it. I know one of us has got to lose it.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that. Oh, that's. That's not that crazy of one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What. What is happening?

[Dan Soder]

She's squirting because she's coming really hard.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It wasn't even so much she squirted a bunch, but it was more like she has the good. Like her body starts like. But her body starts like, you know, hard and all around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I had a bad experience as a young kid with a. Not a squirt. It was a discharge.

[Robert Kelly]

That's very different.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that freaked me the out.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I was having sex, blah, blah, regular. And then I hooked up with an older woman and she discharged on me and I. It was like coffee grounds and I I, I, I threw. Like something happened.

[Robert Kelly]

I think, I don't think, I think. I don't think that's ever happened to anyone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ever.

[Robert Kelly]

Coffee grounds out of the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wasn't coffee. It was like. It was like. It was not a consistent.

[Robert Kelly]

It was like grainy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was. Yeah, it was like weird stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

What color was it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. I was only 13. I didn't really look really. Just, just. I just got really disgusted.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And then I found out later it was discharged.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And it.

[Robert Kelly]

How old was this woman who's. When you're 13?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

35.

[Robert Kelly]

35?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

35 years old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was a local chick who used to. The young kids around the neighborhood. It was the 80s. It wasn't that bad.

[Robert Kelly]

She had coffee grounds in her.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby, why were you so ticks up with the, the gross piss out of a hot chick? Because you, you have to think just in regards of it. You could put more, like, in the perspective of, like, in the throw of a moment. Right. You don't want to slow the party down. Things are going on. If a girl you were fucking that was super hot, like, spit on you while she was fucking something gross like that, just spit into your mouth or something. I'm not into that either. Yeah, but that doesn't. It's not gonna throw you off the game for the thing. If there's a girl you're not attracted to at all. It's the same in like a moment where you're like, all right, we're fucking. I guess if she tried to do something, like, I've seen. I've hooked up with plenty of girls I was not attracted to. And then when I'm done or they're done too, but, like, they're keeping the sexy going, and you're like, oh, no. It really strikes you how not sexy it is.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So that's the problem with things like that. So squirt, piss, anything like that you're gonna get involved in. You gotta be attracted to the person that's coming. I can't be a person who's gross and willing to do these things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's been girls I've been with who I was super sexually attracted to that I probably would have done weird with. But to have it set up like what he's doing, where he's. He made a piss catcher and caught it and was going to sip it. I don't know if I could do that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but this was for science, Bobby. This was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, get to the bottom of the difference between squirt and piss dude and.

[Dan Soder]

Say, I hate to poo poo. The situation that Bobby's impressed by, but he's a simple man. Sometimes. It's pretty much just a beer bong, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

He keeps calling it this thing. I think he's impressed with the design of what you've created. It's just a beer bong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you why, Jay. This is. This is why you're just an ass sometimes. He could have. You're just an asshole. Because he can actually just get a cup and do it. This guy, for science, went out and created a piss catcher, which I think. I think is fantastic. That he could have went out and he could have just got a cup and tried to do it.

[Dan Soder]

Spencer's also makes a piss catcher and. Oh, I guess it's also sometimes called a beer box. Beer bong. But he didn't make anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he. He did create something. Took something that did something else and made it for this so that the piss or the squirt.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Would get caught. Would catch. You know what I mean? I mean, you can go this way or you can go the other way and just be like, that is genius. That's a great idea. And compliment him. That's what I was doing.

[Dan Soder]

I'm not. Not complimenting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, you kind of.

[Dan Soder]

We're brothers in arms here.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm saying I think what you created was pretty cool.

[Dan Soder]

It's a beer bomb.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop with it. He created it. He made a beer bong into something else.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby thinks that you were sitting somewhere with. With goggles down, like, and doing something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And they were like, let me ask.

[Dan Soder]

Someone came in and goes, che, come on. Come out of the laboratory. He goes, I'm. I'm not there yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me ask you a question.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you were like, how am I. Where's your. Was there a point where, like, how am I going to get this stuff?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I mean, I know what a beer bong is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But I'm asking you, was there a point where you like, how am I going to. How am I going to collect the pee?

[Robert Kelly]

No. I went to Home Hardware. I kind of knew what to get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You in your brain.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, I want. It wasn't like, how am I. But there was a point where, like, how am I going to do this?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In a respectable way. And get as much as I can.

[Robert Kelly]

Well. And I needed something that was visually appealing, too, because it is a little bit of the gag of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Which is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Pretty good of you.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You care.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna let you guys fight it up. Mom and dad can scrap it out over this one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not me. It's not me. It's him, okay? He wants to poo poo. My idea that you actually put some thought into this, which I. Which I appreciate.

[Dan Soder]

Now he's saying he had an idea. What's your idea? To compliment a beer bong that I bought.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're a lunatic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're a. You're nuts.

[Dan Soder]

Crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lunatic. Nuts, dude. And you're.

[Dan Soder]

You're out of your fucking goddamn mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Crazy for picking apart shit, you fucking micro picker.

[Dan Soder]

You're a psycho.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, we could have been further. We could be watching him sit piss right now. But you're breaking down his beer brong. Piss catcher.

[Dan Soder]

You know when you got mad at me for almost adopting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're out of the flanker. You're done. Really out. You're not involved in the flanker.

[Dan Soder]

Great. You're at a night trigger, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop. No, no, no. Stop, stop. No, we're done.

[Dan Soder]

You're not. No, you're out.

[J]

Don't you just be a part.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just stop.

[Dan Soder]

You're not allowed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. Just. We got it. I'm sorry. Let's just. You're back in for the flanker.

[Dan Soder]

Joanne Angels hated me from the day she met me. She's never liked me.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, really? What happened between the two of you?

[Dan Soder]

She doesn't think I'm funny on the SDR show.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, damn.

[Dan Soder]

She takes porn pretty serious, I think.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. This is what we do for science, guys. And that fluid is made of different consistencies and that fluid has different products in it than normal urine does. So that is kind of the easiest way to think about it. Urine comes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right there. Yeah. Look at your face. You're so excited.

[Robert Kelly]

Comes from the bladder through the urethra. So when you pee, you empty your.

[Dan Soder]

Bladder, you see a porn star's pussy. Especially when you've seen in videos before. It is funny. You get that moment of, like seeing the celebrity. You're like, I've seen that. That's what her pussy looks like. She got that one long lip. That one little lip.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So it is analogous to the prostate in the male and similar to what happens in the male. So I had. What's a urologist do the whole thing before? And then he didn't want to be in the video after he saw the final product, so I had to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because, well, he got upset with that. His face is Right next to the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What a nerd.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that where his face was? Oh, God, look at that. Now, why you look. You look kind of. Is it disgusted?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm not disgusted.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're focused on. You're squinting.

[Dan Soder]

You don't get so hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You notice. You don't want to get. You don't want to get it in your eyes. Yeah. Because you have to.

[Robert Kelly]

It's going everywhere. And I'm like, it's. It was. I didn't really think about how it was going to go down once it started coming out, so I just had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To react in the suggestion.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Is this a case? Digital?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe some science glasses.

[Robert Kelly]

So I did bring a raincoat or bought a raincoat, but I forgot to wear it. I forgot to bring it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that would have been great.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I thought the raincoat would have played perfect.

[Dan Soder]

Where is this, the Stan Studios?

[Robert Kelly]

No, actually, I rented something off of Gigster and I fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You pissed on some studio floor and.

[Robert Kelly]

Then we just mopped it out.

[J]

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