
There is another event in the SiriusXM lobby that prevents the employees from entering and the guys send Jacob to get to the bottom of it. Colum Tyrrell is back in studio to help change Jacob's style so he gets more respect around the building. Bobby suggest putting him in a "Suitsy" and has to explain to Colum about the ridiculous menswear. | Jay recalls that Colin Quinn made a cameo appearance in the Cosby Show as "Dangerous Davey Herbeck." Enjoy this unaired episode of The Bonfire as the gang with return next week! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
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Unidentified Guest
Hey, everyone.
Robert Kelly
Check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, no.
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Robert Kelly
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Colin Quinn
And now the bonfire with Big J.
Robert Kelly
Okerson and Robert Kelly.
Column Terrell
Hey,
Big Jay Oakerson
I didn't take a. I didn't take a night off for the. For that. I went into the spot and talked about it. We were talking about having a baby. How. How hard and crazy it is now. Back in the day, just had sex, and then she got pregnant. Now it's. We know so much about pregnancy that dawn, by the end, had an app. She had. She was drinking certain cough syrup to dream catcher over a. Some chicken bones. You know, by the end, I had to hold her legs up.
Column Terrell
But you have to, too, though, also.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, there you go.
Column Terrell
And then.
Big Jay Oakerson
Okay. I was putting it in by my hand.
Column Terrell
You're doing those things.
Big Jay Oakerson
I was mushing in like a sandcastle.
Column Terrell
Chichi Christian scene came in hot. They closed in the lobby again.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, they did?
Column Terrell
For who now?
Unidentified Guest
I have no idea.
Big Jay Oakerson
Well, they have a party out there. There's like a. Like a birthday party or some event.
Unidentified Guest
I just wanted to get down.
Big Jay Oakerson
J.
Column Terrell
You go. Do you have clearance to find out what's going on out there?
Robert Kelly
I'm actually not clear to go into the lobby.
Column Terrell
We were here.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, you got to go around.
Column Terrell
You can't find out what's going on?
Robert Kelly
I could find out.
Big Jay Oakerson
So Howard Stern would have to go around?
Colin Quinn
No, Howard wouldn't be here.
Big Jay Oakerson
You think ti Would have to go around?
Robert Kelly
No, I think if the guy didn't
Unidentified Guest
know who he was.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Why do we have now?
Column Terrell
I'm tell you why. I'm walking through this lobby. Why I'm gonna Tell you why. All right, I'll tell you. I'm standing right here. You want to know.
Colin Quinn
You want to know what's going on? I'm gonna tell you about to find
Column Terrell
out the hard way.
Colin Quinn
You listen.
Column Terrell
I love that Jacob don't take from anybody.
Big Jay Oakerson
I love that Jacob does everything just begrudgingly. Yeah, but everything he does, he has his shoulders down.
Column Terrell
Okay, I know, but I'm like, jacob, go out there and sucker fish the fishbowl. Fucking do the blowfish.
Big Jay Oakerson
Jacob hates getting up.
Column Terrell
We have to reinvent this guy Jacob. That would. That. That porn star at his fouche saying, oh, my God, when did you get here? For a person that was here the entire time she was there, directly next to her.
Big Jay Oakerson
He's sitting right next to her in
Column Terrell
a thick brown jacket laughing.
Big Jay Oakerson
Laughing at the stuff we're all saying. Even she's saying, like, making audible sounds.
Colin Quinn
And she goes.
Big Jay Oakerson
She jumped like.
Column Terrell
He goes, like.
Colin Quinn
Like a shadow came to life.
Column Terrell
He goes, what happened? She goes, whoa. How long you been there? How long have you been there? Like, I've only seen this ass on the Internet. And I was like, ew, what is this?
Robert Kelly
To teach guys to. To be able to date long term so they don't get sitting there.
Column Terrell
Jeez.
Robert Kelly
I mean, that's horrible.
Big Jay Oakerson
Hey, guys.
Column Terrell
Well, yeah, now he's going to live for us. That's what we sent him out there to get killed by black people.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, well, first of all, he has to change his fucking earth. Own outfits. He just blends into walls and chairs.
Column Terrell
He's coming in. That's his whole thing. We got to reinvent him, dude. JB is going to be somebody up. JB's gonna peacock.
Colin Quinn
Don't take no.
Big Jay Oakerson
He's gonna get. He's gonna get like a hoodie thing going. Like a. Like a hoodie. Like, you got the hoodie thing.
Colin Quinn
Hoodie. A hoodie thing. He needs more than that.
Column Terrell
He needs. Oh, it's more than that.
Big Jay Oakerson
We get. We get a hoodie. Maybe some type. We change his glasses up. He's got those stupid reading glasses. He's got to get, like, big glasses like me.
Column Terrell
I said he's got to start embracing. He's in shape.
Colin Quinn
No, you have your look. Let's keep you in your lane.
Column Terrell
Listen, I don't want. Jacob's going. He's going to be an old fucking Jew like that.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, they're going to stop him on 47th Street.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, someone's widowed aunt.
Column Terrell
Jacob's got to play into. He's got to play a character. Until he believes in himself. Where I'm thinking like some distressed jeans, button down flannel shirt with the tank top showing underneath it. Because he's in shape maybe.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but flip flops.
Colin Quinn
Flip flops with some ripped jeans.
Column Terrell
Absolutely do flip flops. Where he's like. He doesn't give a ripped jeans or flip flops or shoes that have like, you know he doesn't wear socks with some slip ons and. But he looks cool. Oh yeah, he's pulling it off.
Colin Quinn
The ankles are out.
Big Jay Oakerson
What you mean like. Like croc. Like like a Birkenstock type thing?
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Column Terrell
No, no, no, that's too. That's looking for danger. No, he was just like I don't give.
Big Jay Oakerson
You know those boots with the really high heels but they're like work boots with. But it has a high heel a lot of people wear. Why don't we get him a boot with a high heel so it gives him the height.
Column Terrell
No, he's going to be fucking prince.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. So what are we trying to do? We trying to peacock him or we trying to.
Column Terrell
He doesn't. If he peacocks tiny here's it'll appear big.
Colin Quinn
We go, we come up with five new looks and we get him to try out each one.
Big Jay Oakerson
Okay, that's not a good. I like that. Why don't we do it through the show?
Colin Quinn
Like he goes out and gets changed and then comes back. Is that what you want?
Big Jay Oakerson
No, not though.
Column Terrell
Just like Marilyn manson's sister.
Big Jay Oakerson
Like 16 year old dogs. Not fucking. Big J's high heel boots that he
Colin Quinn
would wear like a Dom tricks. He comes in.
Big Jay Oakerson
Christine just ordered those for Big J.
Column Terrell
I think we should do. I think this should be. Maybe we can get on it now when he comes back starts figuring out like let's pick. I think column's right. Let's pick five outfits. Let's order those outfits for him. I would like. One of them we have to pick out is hip hop style.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
That should be a furry like a hoodie. Like fur on it. Black. Maybe leather maybe you know, matching bottom pants. Some, maybe some.
Column Terrell
I was going to throw him in a straight.
Colin Quinn
I like the flat caps that you guys are wearing. Like that but a little bit off. Like one of these. Yeah, but more like lose. Because that's kind of more like off the side. Yeah, a little off to the side. A nice chain maybe that.
Big Jay Oakerson
Maybe a kango. But what about backwards kango?
Column Terrell
It might look forced. You might like a young voss.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, goatee.
Big Jay Oakerson
Has that ever existed in our lifetime? A young Boss.
Column Terrell
I don't know. I've heard legends.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, he's like the pyramid.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, wait a minute. What's that one right there with the long sweater? The Long island sweater. Okay, well, I don't mind that. Let's coffee shop, Jacob.
Colin Quinn
No, this looks like what?
Robert Kelly
Like.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, but we're picking cool Jew.
Big Jay Oakerson
We're picking five. We're picking five different.
Column Terrell
I know, but I was thinking more like, you know, construction worker, Indian cop.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm gonna go The Village People.
Column Terrell
All the Village People jobs.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Column Terrell
Kentucky lineman.
Big Jay Oakerson
I think we pick five genres and let them try each genre on. Yeah, and I think that, that, that little coffee shop writer poet guy. What's wrong, Jay?
Colin Quinn
He's too strong.
Column Terrell
Equipment here sucks nuts.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but it sucks nuts for nine years.
Column Terrell
It's a series xm and everything's just tough. If you just tap anything, it falls.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but the other, the other suitors are pretty good though, that. You don't think he'd look good in that?
Unidentified Guest
No, it looks like a sweater.
Column Terrell
What if he can't go goth vampire? He's too timid.
Colin Quinn
He could do.
Big Jay Oakerson
But we're trying to get him out of it.
Colin Quinn
But he could do like a Key Westy, like pirate head. Oh, you know, totally.
Column Terrell
Like a Wasting Away.
Colin Quinn
Yeah. Hawaiian shirt and a. He could.
Column Terrell
Oh, yeah. He could go like, like, like a Sammy Hagar. Like a total. Yes, a little bit like a swinger. For sure.
Big Jay Oakerson
Right.
Column Terrell
Crispy tan, though we might have to spray tan them.
Colin Quinn
Kind of like a Hunter S. Thompson style.
Big Jay Oakerson
I almost bought that sweater, by the way.
Column Terrell
Christine, we might. Oh, there we go.
Big Jay Oakerson
That one right there. I almost bought that.
Unidentified Guest
This outfit?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Dawn said no, you almost bought that. No, not that I have that outfit. Not that one you're shopping for with the, with the panther in the middle. Yeah, I almost bought that.
Unidentified Guest
You did not.
Big Jay Oakerson
I swear.
Colin Quinn
How does this even appear on your.
Column Terrell
Scroll down.
Big Jay Oakerson
Remember the sweater that I, I, I had at ari, the thing that we went to. I have that red one.
Column Terrell
No, you don't.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yes, I do.
Column Terrell
You have four tigers on a button down shirt.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'll wear it Monday from. Yeah, OXN it. I got. Remember the one with I, with the tigers on it that I wore at the Ari thing? Yeah. And you guys all compliment me on it.
Colin Quinn
Everyone remembers it, right? Yep.
Big Jay Oakerson
Scroll down, scroll down. You guys remember, right? Oh, I have all these.
Column Terrell
They go up to 4xL, which is very nice. High reviews. Jacob, what was going on out there?
Robert Kelly
All right, there's nobody coming in. It's a Harry Styles album release party.
Big Jay Oakerson
Is he gonna be here? No, they're just doing it.
Robert Kelly
They're just playing together.
Column Terrell
We can't walk through because of that.
Big Jay Oakerson
Because of that.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Unidentified Guest
Okay, that's crazy.
Robert Kelly
The reasoning, I guess they said, is because they don't want any phones because the album isn't released, they don't want somebody potentially recording.
Column Terrell
We work.
Unidentified Guest
We work here.
Robert Kelly
Amen. They're also. They said they're going for a vibe. I don't know what the vibe. No, no, that's not us. It's just what the Is the vibe
Column Terrell
that was at you.
Robert Kelly
I don't know what the vibe that was.
Column Terrell
Shade at you. Well, that's good. I'm glad that comes up, Jacob, because we decided part of the JB transition, we're gonna figure out. We're gonna figure out. Well, you might when we're done with you.
Colin Quinn
Yeah. Then I'll be begging you to join them.
Column Terrell
We're gonna pick out five genres. Genres of outfit, five different looks.
Robert Kelly
Oh, is this fruity clothes for me?
Colin Quinn
No, no, not with that attitude. No, no, no, this is good style. This is.
Big Jay Oakerson
We're gonna. We're gonna pick up.
Colin Quinn
This is identity.
Big Jay Oakerson
But, Jacob, tell us if you like it or not.
Column Terrell
Okay, we're going hip hop. We'll go hip hop. We gotta go country western.
Colin Quinn
Country western.
Robert Kelly
All right, let me see it.
Column Terrell
But rugged the way that I want you to be.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. There's gonna be no dandy, no bow ties, no suspenders.
Column Terrell
No, you're not gonna be a plantation owner. You're gonna be a. You're gonna be a guy. I said I might have you having. I'm thinking yellow leather working gloves in your hand. Gloves you would need to like, so you don't get burns from horses. Ropes.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, it's funny you bring up plantation owner. You know, the black load just frowned.
Big Jay Oakerson
What?
Column Terrell
It is funny that. It is funny to bring that up.
Robert Kelly
What's his name? Don Johnson in Django Unchained.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
I mean, complete racist, but I love the outfit.
Colin Quinn
It is. Yeah. The Colonel Sanders.
Robert Kelly
Colonel Sanders.
Big Jay Oakerson
So you want.
Robert Kelly
Great.
Column Terrell
You want to.
Colin Quinn
Are you requesting a Colonel Sanders? Is that what you're asking for?
Robert Kelly
I think it's bad.
Big Jay Oakerson
You really want to wear a ribbon tie.
Column Terrell
I think this is Christine's pick for you because she's brought up. I agree. I agree, Jacob. I agree. This might be one that works for you.
Colin Quinn
Versace model. That's the look we're going for.
Big Jay Oakerson
I like that.
Unidentified Guest
What is this, Barabas?
Big Jay Oakerson
It's Barabbas we have to get you a chain, though. He needs a chain. And that pinky ring would go fantastic with that.
Column Terrell
The pinky ring is going to happen with whatever he has.
Unidentified Guest
I say we just let him dress like this.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, Maybe because it's Don Johnson. I mean, the man is just.
Column Terrell
As a person who loves you, I'd prefer you not dress like this in the streets of New York City.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, I would love to, but as
Colin Quinn
soon as you put it on, the accent. Oh, if I could lick my lips upon such a pondering.
Column Terrell
I say, I'll say, who taught you how to read?
Big Jay Oakerson
Why is there a black man on a horse in my plantation if it
Robert Kelly
wasn't linked to, you know, Charlie Barnett could read.
Column Terrell
Indubitably.
Colin Quinn
Do the dude a bit about the Japanese and how they walk.
Column Terrell
Do the thing where they walk all fun and crazy.
Colin Quinn
Mandingo. We get two comics to do hacky impressions of Puerto Ricans.
Column Terrell
I like this Charlie Barnett, but his lips ain't white enough and his inner lips ain't red enough.
Big Jay Oakerson
Do me a favor. Say the N word again.
Colin Quinn
Tell me. Tell me how Mexicans act.
Column Terrell
Jacob, I'm not picking your underwear. Other than to say I'd like you to have something with dual pouch technology. Would hold your dick in balls.
Colin Quinn
I put forward Key west party guy. Like Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffett fan. Powerhead. You're wearing, like, the Hawaiian shirt.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's the way he dresses when he goes to Florida. Anyways, to bring it back.
Robert Kelly
You might actually be like the Noogie Lamont how he dressed in Miami Vice.
Big Jay Oakerson
Jesus Christ.
Column Terrell
I don't want you dressed like nookie.
Big Jay Oakerson
You can't say it in that accent.
Robert Kelly
You don't know how he looks, Jay.
Column Terrell
Oh, no, he looks like Charlie.
Robert Kelly
He has a look.
Column Terrell
No, I know, but this. No, this is too dorky. I don't. Jacob's. The dork days are over. They're behind us.
Big Jay Oakerson
What about a French sailor?
Column Terrell
I don't think you guys are getting it. I'm thinking maybe like a tight. Maybe a black T shirt. We roll them sleeves up 902.0 style. Maybe we make him look like a. Like the ghost of a drag racer from the 50s, you know? I mean, like one of those looks where we cuff the bottom of the jeans a little bit.
Big Jay Oakerson
What, like the original Hell's Angel? Guys that just rode to ride?
Column Terrell
More like the deuce is wild.
Big Jay Oakerson
The deuce is wild?
Column Terrell
More like the outsiders.
Robert Kelly
A tough.
Column Terrell
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
You want me to listen?
Column Terrell
A street tough.
Big Jay Oakerson
A greaser. You want to be like yeah, yeah, yeah.
Column Terrell
We'll give him one. Soccer the Pink Lady.
Big Jay Oakerson
We'll take your belt. We'll make you do it on the side. Yes, yes.
Column Terrell
And maybe some cigarettes.
Colin Quinn
Roll up in your shoes and you flip a coin, but they'll be.
Big Jay Oakerson
There'll be bubblegum cigarettes.
Column Terrell
I do like that dude flipping a coin.
Colin Quinn
Just flipping a coin casually.
Column Terrell
Just always, always, like, really working a toothpick, like, in the front of your mouth a lot.
Robert Kelly
I like Bobby's bubble gum cigarette thing.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Okay.
Big Jay Oakerson
We'll give you a little watch, too. And you're like a little pocket watch. Little chain to your belt that you can take it out.
Column Terrell
Ebenezer Scrooge,
Big Jay Oakerson
he loves a pocket watch.
Column Terrell
Doesn't go with everything now. Pinky rings going with everything. Pocket watch. We could have a look. Oh, yeah. We could just. We have five looks. One of them could be steampunk. Yeah, we can go, Jacob. Full steampunk. We're just fucking, like, metal hats and shit goggles.
Big Jay Oakerson
He can't do steampunk.
Robert Kelly
You know who always has a toothpick? Adopted the toothpick lifestyle? Lars Ulrich always has a toothpick when he talks.
Column Terrell
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. I don't like it.
Colin Quinn
You don't like it?
Robert Kelly
I don't like the tooth.
Colin Quinn
I think we have to. I think we have to go.
Robert Kelly
It just means, like, you're picking.
Big Jay Oakerson
What about. What about Arthur Fonzarelli? Look, we just.
Column Terrell
That's what I'm saying. Like, that's. But that's sort of like the drag racer thing. I'm saying.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, we dress him exactly like the Fonz.
Robert Kelly
A cool old Jew.
Column Terrell
Yeah, they're not gonna. You know, it's too on the.
Big Jay Oakerson
Can I say something to. The Fonz's leather jacket sucked. It had the elastics on the cuffs.
Column Terrell
It was brown.
Big Jay Oakerson
It was brown. It wasn't black. It was brown. And it had the elastics around the waist and the cuffs.
Column Terrell
Yeah. Boring. Ass poc.
Big Jay Oakerson
A dweeb.
Column Terrell
It was an ugly jacket then.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Look at it. Stinks.
Column Terrell
What a jacket.
Big Jay Oakerson
Look how big the elastic is on the cuff. Hey. Oh, Jacob has that jacket now.
Column Terrell
Probably. But I'll tell you who's not gonna have that jacket. Jb.
Robert Kelly
Look how he looks old wearing it, though. It doesn't. Oh, God.
Column Terrell
Oh, it's black there.
Colin Quinn
That's not. Who's that? That's him.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, that's Henry.
Colin Quinn
Looks like an AI version of him.
Big Jay Oakerson
I think it was always brown, right?
Column Terrell
I think they changed it.
Big Jay Oakerson
They changed it.
Colin Quinn
That's not him, though.
Column Terrell
That could be that is him. That's just a promo picture.
Robert Kelly
He didn't even wear that at the first season. I think it was like totally different.
Big Jay Oakerson
He had a T shirt. I think he had a. No, he had a barracuda.
Colin Quinn
He was.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Column Terrell
Wasn't a different.
Colin Quinn
Wasn't he like a different.
Big Jay Oakerson
The first season he didn't have a leather.
Column Terrell
What's a barracuda?
Big Jay Oakerson
Same type of look, but cloth.
Column Terrell
Okay.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, gotcha.
Column Terrell
Right. You look up. Barracuda. Leather.
Big Jay Oakerson
A barracuda jacket. Not leather.
Robert Kelly
Just Fonzie.
Big Jay Oakerson
Fonzie. Barracuda jacket.
Column Terrell
Fonzie. There you go.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. It didn't work.
Big Jay Oakerson
It didn't work.
Robert Kelly
He didn't look cool.
Big Jay Oakerson
No, he did not look cool.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, you could do like 1980s English skinhead type of a thing.
Column Terrell
We could go with that.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, you'd love that.
Column Terrell
And the white laces would really let black send a message to black blue.
Colin Quinn
A little tattoo on your forehead of a cross.
Big Jay Oakerson
And that would go with all your books at your house.
Column Terrell
That would roll. That would roll in with your anti Semitic books collection.
Colin Quinn
They give you an excuse for the boots.
Robert Kelly
I only have one.
Column Terrell
It's the one though. Yeah. British skin. 1980s British skinhead look is a good look for Jacob for sure.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
With a little red thin suspenders.
Colin Quinn
Yeah. Dude, this is it.
Robert Kelly
We want to stomp somebody.
Big Jay Oakerson
I do like that.
Column Terrell
We're going to call this your take the country back look.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah. We're going to call this All Lives Matter look. What's this? Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Colin Quinn
This is out there, but I'm digging it.
Big Jay Oakerson
This is, this is.
Robert Kelly
What are we looking at here?
Column Terrell
A see through shirt that you're going to be wearing with some dress pants.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, it's.
Column Terrell
It's a nice fitted dress but it
Big Jay Oakerson
has a built in scarf.
Colin Quinn
It's a scarf and shirt in one. So you don't have to go looking for all of your items.
Column Terrell
Yeah, it's a sharf.
Colin Quinn
You got a nice sharf.
Robert Kelly
Little Stephen. Did I say this on the air? Little Stephen was in last week and he was wearing.
Column Terrell
From the Street Band.
Robert Kelly
Yes.
Column Terrell
Springsteen.
Robert Kelly
Light blue jeans. But the boots were part of the jeans.
Big Jay Oakerson
What? When?
Colin Quinn
Like, like a fucking overall. Onesie.
Robert Kelly
Onesie.
Colin Quinn
He was wearing jeans, ones, balloons.
Robert Kelly
The. The boots were. He like. He had to pull on the pants and the boots would go on.
Colin Quinn
It was like pajamas wearing waiters going.
Robert Kelly
I'm telling you, I've never seen anything.
Column Terrell
Bobby's trying to get a three piece suit that does that. Remember?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Column Terrell
Bobby wants all of his clothes. Like Leslie.
Colin Quinn
Like a morph suit that just looks
Big Jay Oakerson
like it's called a sutsie, and you jump in it and it just zips in the front.
Robert Kelly
That's what he was wearing.
Unidentified Guest
I seen him for women, but not.
Column Terrell
Oh, I get it. It's a style thing.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's probably. He's wearing women's clothes probably because it's.
Column Terrell
Look at men's type of the word. Men's in.
Big Jay Oakerson
I bet that doesn't exist.
Colin Quinn
Is there a name for them?
Robert Kelly
I didn't know they existed, but, yeah, he stood out.
Column Terrell
Yeah, I bet he's wearing women's jeans.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, they were called boots.
Unidentified Guest
Panta shoes.
Column Terrell
Men's panta shoes.
Colin Quinn
Oh, now I really want to buy
Big Jay Oakerson
somebody that's gonna go on the LGBT panta trans have the shoes.
Colin Quinn
Excuse me.
Big Jay Oakerson
I identify as a panther.
Column Terrell
You think I wouldn't rock a pair of panta shoes?
Big Jay Oakerson
I know you would.
Column Terrell
Now that I know they're cool.
Big Jay Oakerson
You put Heelys in, though. You're in the thing where they weren't tight.
Robert Kelly
They were tight.
Colin Quinn
They were tight.
Robert Kelly
They didn't.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, because they were women's pants.
Robert Kelly
Betty's panta shoes. He's in his 70s.
Big Jay Oakerson
Sorry. Thank you.
Robert Kelly
He was. He's in his 70s. And they were kind of form fitting.
Colin Quinn
Did you see his nuts?
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Big old.
Big Jay Oakerson
His old guy nuts.
Column Terrell
That's one of the best. Dude wisened my favorite type of nuts.
Colin Quinn
Those are wild panta shoes, you know,
Robert Kelly
but his didn't bat.
Big Jay Oakerson
There was a high heel. Were they high heel?
Robert Kelly
They weren't baggy. They were like form fitting. I mean, boot.
Colin Quinn
They were tailor made. That's how you know you've made it.
Column Terrell
That is how you know you've made it. Dude, I want all of my clothes just be one piece. Bobby's gonna get that suitsie, though. I believe in you.
Big Jay Oakerson
I want that suitsy.
Column Terrell
So Bobby would go to a funeral wearing a suit that he wants. All of his clothes designed by Leslie Nielsen and the Naked Gun. He goes, well, you put. Well, you don't realize underneath my sweatsuit is a full tuxedo, and underneath that a woman's dress. Just in case I have to be.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, it's a suit. You don't have to tuck a shirt in or a belt.
Colin Quinn
Sure.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's just you jump in it and you zip it up and the tie goes over the zipper.
Column Terrell
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Big Jay Oakerson
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Column Terrell
It's crazy. If somebody wore that ticket, you wouldn't know.
Colin Quinn
You wouldn't know. You can't tell. Seriously, I'm imagining like a fucking. Like when a T shirt looks like a tuxedo. You know what I mean?
Column Terrell
You're right, it is like that.
Big Jay Oakerson
No, it's not like that. It has a tie.
Column Terrell
They would send you home from one of those workspace rental offices if you wore that.
Big Jay Oakerson
Bring up Suti.
Colin Quinn
They go, I know, we work.
Column Terrell
Yeah, yeah, yeah. At a regis. They'd be like, I know this is your own time, you're renting it here, but we can't have you in the building. But it's definitely not that you can't wear suit pajamis.
Big Jay Oakerson
Guess who's getting a sutie for his birthday this year?
Column Terrell
Me.
Big Jay Oakerson
Look at that.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, you can. Do the women come with the sutie? Look at that.
Big Jay Oakerson
I love a suti. Look at that.
Colin Quinn
Look at this guy.
Big Jay Oakerson
You're ready to rock.
Colin Quinn
Hey, babe, take out the suits. You know we can have it.
Big Jay Oakerson
You know how easy it is to bag a chick and get back into your suitsy and get out of there?
Colin Quinn
Yeah. I hate when I have to bang a chick and get back into my suit. It's one of the worst things.
Big Jay Oakerson
Does that look? No, that looks.
Colin Quinn
By the way, I think so.
Column Terrell
What an awful walk of shame. They go, it's hot as out. Why don't you take your jacket off? Because it's attached to the shirt, which is attached to the pants, which is attached to the shoes.
Big Jay Oakerson
I Mean.
Colin Quinn
Yeah. Okay.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's a spring fall suit.
Colin Quinn
You go into the bathroom and the cubicle next to you. The guy has all his clothes on the ground having a.
Column Terrell
You've been dancing all night. Take your jacket off, man. I can't.
Big Jay Oakerson
What happened? I got pissed on my. My jacket.
Column Terrell
I got jack. I got pissed on my jacket. Shirt and pants.
Colin Quinn
I just don't understand what problem this solves.
Big Jay Oakerson
This solves the problem of being fat and having to tuck a shirt in. Right? And so all the time when you're fat, you, you. As soon as you tuck it in, it's one move, one sit and everything pops out.
Column Terrell
It's like a one piece. So it's like if you worked at a garage but you thought it'd be funnier for that coveralls to be a suit. You think it's funny that when you come out from underneath a dolly changes someone's oil. You come out and you're wearing a fucking three piece suit.
Colin Quinn
Your job is removing asbestos. Everyone else is wearing hazmat suits.
Big Jay Oakerson
And you go, hey guys.
Robert Kelly
Huh.
Column Terrell
Always dressed for the occasion.
Colin Quinn
I like to joke around here.
Column Terrell
Bobby loves the idea. And you just throw it in the washer as one piece. And I'm sure it dries. Not wrinkly as balls.
Big Jay Oakerson
And anti wrinkle.
Colin Quinn
I don't think it's like it's a joke.
Big Jay Oakerson
Huh?
Column Terrell
Anti wrinkle is a fake thing. No, it doesn't exist.
Big Jay Oakerson
They have new suit. The suit I just got is anti
Colin Quinn
a new type of material they just invented.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's a new. I swear to God it's metal. The suit I just got waterproof and wrinkle proof. You could just throw it in a bag.
Column Terrell
It's a suit.
Big Jay Oakerson
And yeah, the suit. No, it's a great. Looks fantastic.
Column Terrell
Bobby. No. The nicest suits in the world aren't also tactical.
Colin Quinn
Stainless.
Column Terrell
You never hear that about stainless shirt. I got a John Barbados suit, dude. He goes, you could pour oil on this thing and it would slide right off. It's like that's scotch guarded.
Colin Quinn
Go at it with a scissors.
Big Jay Oakerson
Non wrinkle waterproof suit.
Column Terrell
Attack it with scissors.
Big Jay Oakerson
Try is it actually is.
Column Terrell
You're gonna look ridiculous. It's made of chain mail. Bobby's wearing night pajamas.
Big Jay Oakerson
There it is right there.
Unidentified Guest
As I was thinking we were looking at suits. He was like, wow. He could have run a steamer over this thing before this video.
Robert Kelly
You look slumpy.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, well I look slumpy video. The sutsy video even like I don't. I don't know. If that. Nvidia. I don't know if that's rank.
Colin Quinn
That was the fifth or seventh.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's the first version. The new. The new Suti.
Colin Quinn
Suti 2.0.
Big Jay Oakerson
Suti 2.0 has. It's stab proof, rigor proof, fireproof.
Colin Quinn
Sure.
Big Jay Oakerson
Bulletproof.
Column Terrell
It's a John Wick collection.
Colin Quinn
This is Iron Man. You're in the Iron man suit, fighting crime in between the vows.
Column Terrell
I'm wearing my zip up suit. Jarvis, tell me somewhere this is appropriate. Jarvis. Jarvis.
Big Jay Oakerson
To be fair, when I was fatter, the sutsie was more appealing to me.
Column Terrell
Why now?
Big Jay Oakerson
Because I did.
Column Terrell
That's the worst. You're a mascot of a guy in a suit.
Big Jay Oakerson
It did come with a helmet.
Column Terrell
Yeah. Yeah. Give it up for the Yukon Society men. And then you come out on a horse with a giant head. You should have a giant head to go on top of that suit. A big giant fake head of you on top of the suit for sure. This one looks better in picture. But they got a model.
Colin Quinn
You guys have money now. You could just get tailored suits and look.
Column Terrell
That's right.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
I got, I got a tailored Hugo Boss and then I got. Got a custom suit.
Column Terrell
You go, boss, you know that's Hitler's.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's why I got it.
Column Terrell
That's what they know.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's why I got it.
Colin Quinn
He drove his Volkswagen Beetle to get it.
Big Jay Oakerson
I had a guy. You had the guy? The guy from Japan make you suit, right?
Column Terrell
Ari's guy?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, I wish.
Column Terrell
He's extremely fair priced.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Does it look good?
Column Terrell
It looked great. I think it was really good. Yeah, so far I wore. Then I wore the other one at our story awards at the grammar scene. I look good too. Yeah, I got a blue and a black one.
Robert Kelly
Schedule myself the next time he does a trunk show.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah, next time you do, I'm getting one too. I know exactly what I want. Yeah, I'm doing, I'm just doing. I'm having a.
Colin Quinn
Do you do suits?
Big Jay Oakerson
Can you make this? Can you put a zipper in the front of this?
Column Terrell
Bobby, do me a favor. Also order a sutsie. So when dawn and everybody gets mad, she goes, are you wearing a. Did you get a tailored suit? Right down to the pocket scar or the pocket square and you go, babe, look, we can go to your family's thing. We'll be dressed like this or like this. And then put on your suitsy right after you put on a tailored suit, take it off and put a suitsie on. Be like, I could just go like this and she's like, what are you a. Like. Yeah, you look like a. Like a. I'm gonna. A child's toy camera.
Colin Quinn
You gotta take the jacket off or a puddle.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'm gonna. I can't even. I can't even rescue a damsel in distress with my suitsie.
Column Terrell
The fact you have to hold your entire suit between your legs. If you take a shit, you have to hold your whole suit between your legs between your knees.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Column Terrell
So it doesn't get on the floor, but you're fucking naked in a bathroom at a. At a ball.
Big Jay Oakerson
But I could be Superman. Really good.
Colin Quinn
True.
Big Jay Oakerson
That would be great having a suitsy. If Superman had a suits, he'd be easier to turn into Superman because, you know, they always just show him opening up the buttons. But then he had to go and take the pants off, the shoes off.
Column Terrell
I bet you have to be. So order the sutsy that most people that order the sutsie plan to wear them over a superhero costume. I would say that's the. The most obvious thing because it looks a little bit better than if your whole outfit was Velcro.
Big Jay Oakerson
So if I. If I get the suits here, if I get a shirt that has an S on it underneath, they offer you that on checkout.
Colin Quinn
It pops up and goes. Would you like to
Column Terrell
go? Here they go. Customers.
Big Jay Oakerson
Also look that Superman, Spider man, gallon of ice cream.
Column Terrell
If you get a big enough suits, you can get a.
Big Jay Oakerson
He said a gallon.
Column Terrell
If you get a big enough suits, you can put all kinds of things under it, dude.
Big Jay Oakerson
All kinds of outfits, a gallon of ice cream. Depression medication.
Column Terrell
Actually, you should just take it off and be in your boxers, but tape all that stuff to your head like that guy you like on the Internet and be that here superhero.
Big Jay Oakerson
That'd be great.
Column Terrell
If I'm watermelon tape Chicken Man.
Big Jay Oakerson
If the sutsie came in with underwear,
Column Terrell
that'd be a great little off.
Big Jay Oakerson
What is that?
Column Terrell
That's a Sutsie tuxedo.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
What? Dude, you wouldn't get.
Robert Kelly
That does look good.
Colin Quinn
It looks good.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'm not gonna lie, buddy. A tuxedo sucks. You can own a tuxedo for how much? These are all suits.
Column Terrell
Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, they're not. No, no, no. If you're looking suits, ie you.
Big Jay Oakerson
Christine.
Column Terrell
That is beautiful, beautiful suits.
Colin Quinn
When did Bobby and Irish suits.
Big Jay Oakerson
Can't stand Christine's dumbness sometimes. Bobby, I don't know when you bought your suitsie, because it looks like I didn't. I didn't buy a suit.
Unidentified Guest
You didn't right. Because in 2014 they were trying to crowdfund Sutsie.
Big Jay Oakerson
And then it never went. I got the nothing, I got the wrinkle free waterproof suit.
Unidentified Guest
Cuz Sutsy was so bad it never got off the ground.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's not true. People like you.
Column Terrell
What bodies of water are you in?
Colin Quinn
You saw it on Kickstarter.
Unidentified Guest
I'm Googling Sutsie. Googling Sutsie. I get this. That's not it. Because it doesn't exist. Because it's so bad.
Colin Quinn
Maybe Sutsie wasn't the name though.
Column Terrell
She really came at you hard.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, she did.
Colin Quinn
She did.
Big Jay Oakerson
Because she doesn't like fat people.
Column Terrell
Even though it's not that she's almost never right. And she really buried you on that
Big Jay Oakerson
one because she felt you are in
Column Terrell
love with a defunct product. And you said, by the way, you said, that's the old Suti, the new Sut's better. There was never Sut.
Big Jay Oakerson
There's a lie.
Column Terrell
It was an idea.
Big Jay Oakerson
That was a bit. We were doing Dumb. Dumb what? We were doing a bit with 2.0, the new suits. He has this. It was a joke, okay?
Column Terrell
It's comedy show. We're hams here.
Big Jay Oakerson
Updated. And then he said 2.0. I. It was just a joke.
Column Terrell
No, it's a fucking shitty product.
Robert Kelly
Looks like. He looks like a schlub. Every suits he picture suits.
Column Terrell
He saw it.
Colin Quinn
This is a product that was on Kickstarter. Never had a mark.
Big Jay Oakerson
Well, because of people like you and people like in this room.
Colin Quinn
You don't understand.
Big Jay Oakerson
Don't believe. They don't believe time saving.
Column Terrell
But he did get a. He did get a fucking. Another suit made out of slicker apparently.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's so funny if he went and got a regular suit with the money
Column Terrell
he raised, you probably got a really nice.
Big Jay Oakerson
I like that red one. What's that red one?
Unidentified Guest
It's not a cutsy.
Colin Quinn
But you know what? Lev showed up to my wedding and he was wearing one of those untuck it shirts and he had like no shirt.
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
The.
Colin Quinn
No. No tie or nothing. He looked like a real slob. He showed up to my wedding like the way everyone else ends a wedding like. Like at the end of the night.
Column Terrell
And Lev, dude, it was also like hot. So like Lev started sweat. He was sweating.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, yeah, it was hot as hell.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's a fat guy.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, he showed up like he came from someone else's wedding.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's a fat guy thing. I've done the no tie, no tien took it. No tie I've done it and it is sloppy looking.
Colin Quinn
Walked halfway through the. I've tried to do knocking over.
Column Terrell
I've tried not to do untucked shirt to a wedding sport, but I've also. I've just done it.
Colin Quinn
You just got to get through the first like 35 minutes and then you can go nuts.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but that's the most embarrassing.
Colin Quinn
Around your head.
Big Jay Oakerson
Well, as soon as they go, I do. And then you're just like. And you're untucking and untying everything.
Column Terrell
Well, you know, the reason I got those, the two suits made was because Vecchion's wedding, when I went and I said I brought pants that had no belt loop. I had lost weight, so I had to put the belt on like a huck fin over the pants. And then basically, no, I mean, I put the belt on because there was no belt loops on the pants was the issue. They were supposed to be suspender pants.
Big Jay Oakerson
I didn't know that Joe had to go. He had to go outside and cut a hose off extension cord or something.
Column Terrell
I was definitely in the country Bears band for sure. And. And I had my, my button down shirt, like untucked from it on that. Because I really didn't have any choice. It was like, oh, you're gonna. It was ridiculous. But I try to do tucked in. But now with the suits, I'll do like now I'd be like, now, now there's a suit.
Colin Quinn
You've lost weight. You got the tailored suit.
Column Terrell
If there's a chance to wear a suit now at this point you go, oh, well, oh, I can wear a suit now.
Big Jay Oakerson
My. I have a. The suit I bought is pretty good, but I have, I have.
Column Terrell
And it reflects rain.
Big Jay Oakerson
I have a range of fats in my suits because I got custom suits made before, but they were when I was on sex drugs. I had to wear a suit and one of the things. So they had two suits made for me, but I was fat. So I have three different versions of my fatness and suit sizes in my closet.
Column Terrell
Like when fat comics start deciding they're gonna wear a suit at one point and they have to be. You gotta go loud. Like the zany fat guy who wears a suit on stage. You know, I mean, it's not a suit even. It's like he wears like a sports coat that's a wacky color.
Big Jay Oakerson
I remember when Colin was fat, he did the NACA convection. The national. The national one. Excuse me. And it was 3,000 people people. And he had to follow Lewis Black, who murdered and then I remember I was there, so excited to see Colin because I knew him from the cellar. I really wasn't friends with him that much. A little bit. And I sat right up front and he came out in a purple. But he was heavy. So he was fat in a purple suit. They had him on Trinitron and then he. Then he bombed. I remember at one point they had him on the big screens on the side, and he. He turned his head and I just saw a sweat fat thing rolled down his rolls on his neck and he
Column Terrell
was like, well, folks, you gotta see his thing. You gotta see him on the Cosby show when he was. Davey, bring that up. Christine. Davey.
Colin Quinn
Something heavy then, wasn't he?
Big Jay Oakerson
He was heavy on the Gary Shield.
Column Terrell
Was he heavy on the Gary Sham? I don't know if he's heavy on the Cosby Show.
Big Jay Oakerson
Gary Shamla Show. He was at one of his fattest.
Column Terrell
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
And he comes in dressed as a UPS worker with the shorts, and you can see his little fat legs and his fat stomach.
Column Terrell
Well, I said that one thing. One of his specialty comes out wearing skinny jeans and, like, jacket and, like, sits on the stage and smokes.
Big Jay Oakerson
It was a Pittsburgh Pirates jacket.
Column Terrell
Oh, yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
And then he had. He had chains and he thought he'd just sit on the edge of the stage, smoke. Hey, I'm gonna do something different.
Column Terrell
Oh, what a twat. What a twat. He looked like.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, God.
Column Terrell
He goes, I'm gonna do things a little different. Smoke, talk to you.
Big Jay Oakerson
For the.
Colin Quinn
He was doing the chappelle before. Chappelle, huh?
Column Terrell
Oh, yeah, But I mean. But I mean, sitting on the ledge of the stage. Not sitting on a chair or a stool on stage. Stage at the start of the. Yeah, like, feet just dangling off the stage.
Colin Quinn
And then they're gonna have to. Like the lights.
Big Jay Oakerson
Exactly. He didn't tell anybody. He just did it. You can see the camera guy panned out.
Column Terrell
Davey Herbeck. That was his name on the show. And he'd go. Eddie goes. I'm losing my mind. Was this big, like, I'm just trying
Unidentified Guest
to get to it.
Column Terrell
No one picked up the Cosby show for streaming. Come on.
Colin Quinn
On.
Column Terrell
Let's get over it, everybody. Those girls are all dead by now. Oh, he's eating a hoagie. He loves hoagies. He is still Philadelphia treasure, everybody. What happened to the pudding pop? I loved it.
Big Jay Oakerson
The pudding pop is gone.
Colin Quinn
Was that like he. He had his own brand of pudding.
Column Terrell
He was the. He was the guy for Jell O Pudding. And then they started Making pudding pops, which he was the first pitch man for. The pudding pop was good.
Colin Quinn
The problem, like, he was the.
Big Jay Oakerson
He was the guy.
Colin Quinn
He was the face.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. That's when Eddie Murphy was like, pudding pop.
Column Terrell
The problem with the pudding pop was that it's a strange.
Colin Quinn
What was the problem?
Column Terrell
Saying please.
Colin Quinn
Please.
Column Terrell
I'll tell you what it was. I'm telling that. You want to know what the problem was with the pudding pop. I'm gonna let you know now. I'm gonna let you know.
Big Jay Oakerson
I really want to know what the problem was.
Column Terrell
It was a frozen dessert.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Column Terrell
But, like, as you were eating it, it got, like, warm but didn't change shape.
Colin Quinn
Yeah.
Column Terrell
Like pudding frozen. Like, never stay. It wasn't like, cold like a popsicle.
Big Jay Oakerson
It was more jello. Yeah.
Column Terrell
Get like, taffy. Ish. Almost by the end. But, I mean, it melted for sure. But it just. Pudding pop was great.
Big Jay Oakerson
We love the pudding pop.
Column Terrell
Oh, we all love the pudding.
Big Jay Oakerson
What are we doing? Are we looking at Colin Quinn now?
Unidentified Guest
Yeah, I'm trying to buy the episode.
Column Terrell
Davey Herbeck buy it.
Big Jay Oakerson
Is that worth it?
Colin Quinn
You guys are doing well, huh?
Column Terrell
It all goes to. It all goes to Cosby's defense fund. It all goes to his little nest egg. We're trying to make sure he can have his. Enjoy his twilight years. Cosby himself. This goes directly to Cosby. That's why I buy the episodes once a day.
Colin Quinn
I'm on his patreon. He does a morning stream.
Column Terrell
Guys, get ready to attack the day. Conquer your inner. He's Rogan. He gets rogue. Conquer your inner.
Colin Quinn
Yeah. Someone has your money in their pocket.
Column Terrell
Your workout is my warmup.
Big Jay Oakerson
Was your Cosby, Clinton.
Colin Quinn
Ah, you got it.
Big Jay Oakerson
No, I did. I did. I did it.
Column Terrell
And you. Bing Jacob. We're gonna have so many good looks for you, it's insane. I'm more excited. I'm most excited to put together your hip hop look.
Colin Quinn
There's so many different versions.
Big Jay Oakerson
I would like to put together your cowboy look.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, I think I've got that.
Column Terrell
I'm gonna do your Victorian look when you come out with big frills coming out of a buckle jacket.
Big Jay Oakerson
But don't worry, you're gonna have a sword.
Column Terrell
You might have a sword sword. You could also have a gun that only shoots one bolt at a time.
Colin Quinn
You could be. Oh, you know, you could have a little, like, a pen knife guy. You could be like a little pen knife guy. And then you do the hand thing.
Column Terrell
That's pretty dope.
Big Jay Oakerson
You know, you should do it, too.
Colin Quinn
That black Prostitute porn star would know you're there. If you're absolutely.
Column Terrell
No, you were there. We can let column help with your Alaskan fisherman look with the pen knife.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Column Terrell
Davey Herbeck. We got him. He's losing his mind.
Unidentified Guest
Maybe you can. Because the problem I'm having is.
Column Terrell
It's when. It's when these bring home a video.
Unidentified Guest
It's giving me the episode number 421, but the title of 422. So do you know which one of these episodes it would be?
Column Terrell
Home for the weekend. I do know that. It's when Denise comes home for the weekend.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's nuts.
Column Terrell
I can separate the art from the artist.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, but you really know it. You know your.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's weird.
Column Terrell
Well, I grew up watching the show.
Colin Quinn
Yeah, I know.
Column Terrell
Bobby was a little bit older than me and also on crack.
Colin Quinn
And how racist.
Column Terrell
He was also on crack at that point. He was 13. I had a. Colin's right, too. My mom. My mom took care of me.
Colin Quinn
We can all be right. Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Jay was a little mommy boy on his stomach eating TV dinners, watching TV
Colin Quinn
shows, eating pudding pop.
Unidentified Guest
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Jay was raised like an alien.
Announcer
Yeah.
Colin Quinn
You were duking it out in the orphanage or whatever you were doing.
Column Terrell
You'll see. They bring home a videotape, Denise home. She with her friends. They come back with Davey Herbeck. Not yet. Not yet. Davey Herbeck's coming.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, God, there he is.
Column Terrell
Oh, they're all back there. They're all getting ready to watch Davey Herbeck. Go ahead. It's gonna be the scene for sure.
Big Jay Oakerson
Collins in this episode.
Column Terrell
Yeah, they're watching him right now.
Robert Kelly
Man, Lisa Bonet was so on tv.
Column Terrell
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Nope.
Column Terrell
For the love of God.
Big Jay Oakerson
Passed it.
Column Terrell
What are you doing?
Big Jay Oakerson
She passed it.
Colin Quinn
You must have missed it.
Column Terrell
You're gonna go. So remember, he died because there was no Bobby there.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's right. Well, actually, he inspired me to go out there and say.
Column Terrell
And save blacks.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he didn't die, that girl would have died.
Column Terrell
They're watching Davey Herbert. All these young girls getting ready to watch.
Big Jay Oakerson
So Colin wasn't on the show. He was on the tv. On the show.
Column Terrell
Yes.
Colin Quinn
And he played a guy called Davey.
Column Terrell
Davey Herbeck. He's a wild man. He's supposed to be like Sam Kinison. Y. Okay, but Gallagher. It's a Gallagher. Sam Kinison. He's, like, breaking.
Big Jay Oakerson
Let's see it.
Colin Quinn
Is that the very, very end, by the way?
Column Terrell
She walked him home.
Colin Quinn
Well, I better be going back to my house.
Column Terrell
Oh, your sisters are here. I was gonna suck Your brother off, but forget it.
Colin Quinn
She flirting with her brother?
Column Terrell
Kinda, yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Hey, a year after this Mickey rock him in the butt. Oh, did he? Yeah, he did a. She did a movie.
Column Terrell
Just jumped 10C jumps.
Robert Kelly
Angel Heart, apparently. But they banged for real.
Big Jay Oakerson
Y.
Column Terrell
That's what you want to tell yourself.
Robert Kelly
That's the rumor.
Big Jay Oakerson
We literally have one minute left.
Column Terrell
Wait, hang on. They're watching old Davey Herbic now. Go back, go back, go back.
Colin Quinn
How long is he on it for? Just four seconds. Shortest little. You hear him?
Column Terrell
Oh, he's showing him the western movie. Throw down that box. Now. Throw down that box.
Big Jay Oakerson
How do you remember this?
Column Terrell
I don't know. Skip ahead. They change it and put in Davey Herbeck.
Big Jay Oakerson
This sounds like me.
Column Terrell
Here we go. Dangerous Davey Herb.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'm gonna call him the. That.
Colin Quinn
Oh, my God.
Big Jay Oakerson
What the. We went through all that.
Column Terrell
He losing his mind.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's it.
Column Terrell
I think it might be another scene
Colin Quinn
that's like when they, like, squeeze in, like, hidden messages into movies.
Column Terrell
It's like, I think they show one more. I think they come back to it.
Colin Quinn
The.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, that was so not worth.
Colin Quinn
And he wasn't as fat as.
Column Terrell
I hope he wasn't fat at all. He was actually almost bone thin. I didn't say he was fat, though.
Big Jay Oakerson
I think he was drinking.
Column Terrell
Then I just said he was Davey Herbeck. That would seem like the coke years.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'm gonna call him that. We should all call him Davey Herbeck.
Column Terrell
Dangerous. Davey Herbeck.
Big Jay Oakerson
Dangerous.
Column Terrell
Dangerous. Column Terrell's gonna be at the riot riverwalk comedy club. Go to column Terrell. C o l-u m t y r r e l l column terrell.com and check out the cockfight podcast with column Terrell and Lev Fur. Wherever you listen to podcasts, Bobby Kelly this weekend for tickets and all of his tour dates, go to punch up that live Bobby Kelly, Robert Kelly. And of course his YouTube page, Robert Kelly comedy. And of course, every Tuesday night, 7pm Fat by Pussycat Lounge, the Comedy Cell,
Big Jay Oakerson
comedy.com and then YouTube.com bigjokerson for specials. And he also does his live show up there, which is hilarious and seems to be doing quite well.
Column Terrell
Thanks, dog. Yeah, Column. Thank you so much for hanging out with us.
Big Jay Oakerson
Thanks, buddy. Thanks for filling in, buddy. Appreciate it.
Column Terrell
Enjoy the pre record. We got a fun topic brewing on that that we're going to continue with. If you guys can just be cool. Can you just be cool? Crackle, crackle.
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Robert Kelly
Hey, everyone, Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
Column Terrell
Oh, no.
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Column Terrell
Est?
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Episode: Fixing Jacob with Colum Tyrrell
Date: May 20, 2026
This episode of The Bonfire is an uproarious, freewheeling brainstorming session centered around the show's beloved but awkward producer, Jacob. Joined by guest Colum Tyrrell and regular Colin Quinn, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly riff on how to reinvent Jacob’s personal style, teasing out his fashion, confidence, and life outlook. The group’s signature blend of ball-busting, observational humor, and affectionate advice powers a conversation that spirals unexpectedly into suits, “sutsies,” fat guy formalwear hacks, and reveries on classic TV and comedy history. There’s plenty here for fans of inside-comedy, fashion misadventures, and good-natured roast sessions.
Expect a rapid-fire, loose, and relentlessly funny tone packed with barbs, silly detours, and the camaraderie of seasoned comics. The humor is self-effacing, sometimes harsh but always affectionate, with plenty of industry in-jokes and New York edge.
For listeners: If you like ball-busting camaraderie, behind-the-scenes comedy chatter, and unpredictable conversations that dart from life tips to fat suit hacks to Cosby pudding pop nostalgia, this episode delivers all that—plus a team effort to “fix Jacob” in ways that are somehow both sincere and ridiculous.