Free Bike w/Rich Vos & Eleanor Kerrigan

Summary

---

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Episode: "Free Bike" w/ Rich Vos & Eleanor Kerrigan

Date: May 13, 2026
Podcast Host: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire brings together Bobby Kelly and guest co-host (and frequent comic sparring partner) Rich Vos, with appearances from Eleanor Kerrigan. The conversation circles around classic comic banter, generational divides, childhood nostalgia, prepping for emergencies, parenthood anxieties, and — most notably — a prolonged, comically petty argument about an unused electric bike. As always, blunt humor, self-deprecation, and friendly roasting keep the show lively and relatable for anyone familiar with the comedy circuit.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comic Memory Problems & Old School Banter

• The show opens with Bobby and Vos failing to remember names of fellow comics, riffing about aging and memory lapses.
  • [02:09] Rich Vos: "We started the show where a half a minute in, you're going, what's that guy's name? Who's the other guy?...They both open for Billy."
  • [02:22] Bobby Kelly & Rich Vos: Joke about needing an "interpreter" for Vos.

2. Urban Legends and Comic Myths

• The hosts discuss the endurance of celebrity rumors and why some stories never die.
  • [02:54] Rich Vos (jokingly frustrated): “This is the problem with the world we live in today. You can't have a damn rumor anymore because someone went out and found the truth.”
• References to "Two Girls, One Cup," and nostalgia for ridiculous, unverified stories that circulate for years in the comedy greenroom.

3. Bobby’s Hearing Aids and Aging Concerns

• Bobby reveals he’s started wearing hearing aids as a preventative measure for dementia, prompting ribbing and semi-sincere health chat.
  • [05:04] Bobby Kelly: “Are you me?”
  • [05:40] Rich Vos: “Are those real hearing aids or those... did you buy them off Facebook Marketplace?”
  • [05:48] Bobby Kelly: “They're supposed to help prevent Alzheimer's.”
• The two reflect on medical tests, heart checkups, old age, and friends in the comedy world experiencing health issues.
  • [07:37] Rich Vos: “Anytime one of you old coots...has a problem, I immediately go get what that is.”

4. Weight Loss, Body Image, and Roasting Each Other

• Bobby and Vos trade insults about weight loss, exercise, and physique, mixing genuine concern with the typical comic edge.
  • [09:39] Bobby Kelly: “You still look like a pin cushion, but you look a lot better and you're healthier.”
  • [10:13] Rich Vos: “I hope out of all my friends, the one that's actually still kicking around is you when you get home.”
• Subtext of male friendship: insults reinforce affection.

5. Parenting Styles & Generational Differences

• Discussion turns to the challenges of raising kids today versus the past, the “helicopter parent” generation, and how childhood freedoms have changed.
  • [11:12] Bobby Kelly: Discusses his worries about his college-aged daughter, who’s “so far gone...listening to college professors TikTok.”
  • [11:31] Rich Vos: “It’s not the colleges; it’s not TikTok; it’s who she is. Max is on TikTok...”
  • [13:15] Christine (producer): Shares Gen Z statistics: “Nearly half of Gen Z adults have never had sex. They don’t know how to [bleep] each other. Yeah, it’s actually really gross and sad. Pregnancy’s down.”
  • [14:35] Rich Vos: “You're actually a pilgrim.” (to Bobby, on generations)
• Ongoing riff on generational groups: Gen X, Boomers, etc.

6. Negotiating Freedom and Fear for Kids

• Anecdotes about letting children make mistakes, setting boundaries, keeping track of them with tech, and the balance between sheltering and letting them be kids.
  • [19:23] Rich Vos: “You gotta let your kid go fuck up and do stupid shit.”
  • [21:04] Rich Vos: “My kid is going to drink, he's going to smoke pot, he's going to get arrested. 100. I know that already.”

7. The Epic "Free Bike" Feud

• Main event of episode: For nearly half an hour, Bobby and Vos (with Jacob and Christine) dissect a years-old argument over an unused electric bike. Beats include:

  • Origin story: Vos spotted Bobby’s boxed e-bike and repeatedly tried to buy it over years — Bobby always said he’d use it soon.

  • Poking holes in each other's memories of the story.

  • New Jersey laws regulating such bikes and retroactive justification for not selling.

  • Comic haggling: offer, counter-offer, friend-price debates.

  • “You got it as a free gift! Just give it to me!” vs. “It’s worth $2,700, but I’m selling for $1,000!”

    • [27:06] Rich Vos: “You didn’t take it out of the box for two years.”
    • [29:31] Rich Vos: “[Now] he calls me, he’s like, you want the bike? It’s two years later. I already bought the [bleep] bike. I got Max’s present.”
    • [40:06] Rich Vos: “Why don’t you give it to me for $500?”
    • [41:07] Bobby Kelly: “If someone gave you a diamond necklace as a gift and I said, oh, let me have it…”
    • [41:10] Rich Vos: “That’s totally different. A diamond necklace has value and goes up in value...This stupid bike, they made 19 versions.”

  • Friends keeping score over years, old electronics, and gifts exchanged. Every comic in the room has a petty inventory of who owes what.

    • [51:02] Rich Vos: “That would have been hilarious.”
    • [51:46] Bobby Kelly: “Everything you give me, there’s a price.”

8. Prepping, Survival Gadgets, and Comic Competitiveness

• The group swaps notes on doomsday prepping, emergency gadgets, camping, water filtration, and firestarters—always with a punchline.
  • [44:18] Rich Vos: “If the world ends, I’m just jerking off until I die. I’m gonna goon.”
  • [45:22] Bobby Kelly: “You have Vaseline and cotton balls to start fire?”
  • [45:53] Rich Vos: “I actually use my stuff though. I’m taking Max primitive camp[ing].”
  • Plans for a camping trip in June.

9. Comic Fashion & Odd Gifts

• Roasting returns to jewelry choices, wearing rings, and bestowing weird gifts on each other.
  • [58:07] Bobby Kelly: “I have a watch collection...I got Dawn’s name tattooed on my finger. I don’t even wear [my] wedding ring.”
  • [42:46] Bobby Kelly to Vos: “The hat I gave you, do you ever wear that? Nice, beautiful, that hat’s worth a lot of money.”

10. Neighborhoods, Pool Nostalgia, and Working-Class Pride

• Eleanor Kerrigan joins; conversation about Philly row houses, growing up poor, and the joys and pitfalls of “knowing everyone on the block.”
  • [59:20] Eleanor Kerrigan: "My mom still lives in the same house. It’s the best. She knew everybody on the block."
  • [59:49] Rich Vos (joking): “Voss calls that the good old days...I call that segregation every time.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You gotta let your kid go fuck up and do stupid shit.” – Rich Vos ([19:23])
• “It’s not the colleges. It’s not TikTok. It’s who she is. Max is on TikTok…” – Rich Vos ([11:31])
• “I hope you have so much plaque in your arteries.” – Rich Vos, to Bobby ([10:13])
• “If you had headphones on, you’d hear it.” – Rich Vos ([05:29]) (recurring joke about Bobby’s hearing)
• “We started the show where a half a minute in, you’re going, what’s that guy’s name?” – Rich Vos ([02:09])
• “Let the girls be slutty again.” – Rich Vos, satirical riff on changing sexual norms ([23:03])
• “That’s totally different. A diamond necklace...This stupid bike, they’ve made 19 different versions.” – Rich Vos ([41:10])
• “I have three water filters, one for each of us.” — Rich Vos (on prepping, [44:18])
• “If the world ends, I’m just jerking off until I die. I’m gonna goon.” – Rich Vos ([45:24])
• “My mom still lives in the same house...She knew everybody on the block.” – Eleanor Kerrigan ([59:20])
• “You’re one of my closest friends. You’re one of the sweetest guys ever. You’re cheap.” – Bobby Kelly to Vos ([57:14])
• “You gave me a nice hat. You did give me… but I just don’t have an opportunity to wear a fedora, because it’s not 1952.” – Rich Vos ([43:21])

---

Segment Timestamps

• [01:03-05:04] Aging comics, memory failures, interpreter jokes
• [05:04-07:37] Bobby's hearing aids, health anxiety, “old coots” getting tests
• [07:37-10:13] Weight loss and aging banter
• [11:04-13:15] Parenting, daughters, left-wing colleges, generational divides
• [13:15-17:13] Discussion: Gen Z stats, helicopter parenting, “boomers ruined the world”
• [19:23-22:10] Letting kids mess up, code words, “ring and run” (childhood pranks)
• [22:39-28:17] Free Bike epic argument, friend dynamics, old gifts
• [41:10-45:16] Prepping, gadgets, prepping advice
• [54:00+] Eleanor Kerrigan joins: Philly childhood, row houses, immigrant neighborhoods

---

The Bonfire’s Signature Tone

• Blunt, affectionate roast comedy: The conversation is a blend of nostalgia, complaint, and one-upmanship — with real warmth behind the barbs.
• Unfiltered honesty: No subject is off limits, and personal failings are fair game for laughs.
• Comic competitiveness: Who’s older, stingier, more generous, or more forgetful? The stakes are low but the intensity is high, as only comics can make it.

---

Conclusion

This episode is classic Bonfire: a playground for veteran comedians riffing on each other’s flaws, modern parenting, cultural changes, and the type of petty squabble (over a “free” bike) that only true friends can stretch into an entire act. The arrival of Eleanor Kerrigan adds fresh energy and more Philly flavor to the mix.

For listeners, it’s a front-row seat to the rhythms of comedian friendships: sharp, unsparing, and ultimately rooted in decades of shared experience.

---

Notable Clip:
If you want the definitive "Bonfire" experience, jump to the [24:00 – 41:30] mark for the full “Free Bike” saga, and [44:00+] for survival prepping laughs.

---

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need, all in one place, from H VAC and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock, so your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. Olympic hospitality is your way into the LA28 Olympic Games. Ticket inclusive packages bring you closer to the action, with preferred seating reserved in venue lounges, support staff, overnight solutions and transportation services. Every detail is in place before you arrive. Hospitality packages are available now. Reserve your spot today. Visit hospitality.la28.org now.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now the bonfire, with Big J

[Rich Voss]

Okerson and Robert Kelly fitting for today's bonfire because we have a legend in studio who comes up to this song when he goes on stage. Even if there's 10 people in the audience, even if it's 10 people, imagine

[Bobby Kelly]

that if, like, there's like six people and you had that and you're like, what's his name? As a comic, who's the guy that has the dog?

[Rich Voss]

I hate doing radio with my old friends because they go, what's his name? Who? We never remember anything. What's his name?

[Bobby Kelly]

He does the comedy jam.

[Rich Voss]

Oh. Oh, you mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not him.

[Rich Voss]

You mean. You got a blue shirt. You do the joke.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why am I Josh Admirers.

[Rich Voss]

That's his. That's who?

[Bobby Kelly]

I said, you know, you were doing the other guy first.

[Rich Voss]

I was doing. I was doing Josh.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you were.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, come on now.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the other one. Who's the other one with the tattoos?

[Rich Voss]

What? Who's the one? Why? Why can't you remember any of your thoughts?

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't remember names.

[Rich Voss]

We started. We started the show where a half a minute in, you're going, what's that guy's name? Who's the other guy? Yeah, who's this guy? No, that's the other guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

They both open for Billy.

[Rich Voss]

I don't. Oh, Dean Del Rey.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Dean Delray.

[Christine]

They speak Rich.

[Rich Voss]

You speak Rich.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's my interpreter.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, yeah, she's. Yeah, she turned. What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Interpreter. Interpreter.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

You got it. You got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to. Diet Coke.

[Rich Voss]

I want you to stop touching the microphone. You want to die? A Coke.

[Bobby Kelly]

You need to stop touching kids first.

[Rich Voss]

Not gonna happen. Not in this lifetime. Speaking of touching kids, the who. What's up? Yeah, I love his excuse, too. He's doing research.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that what Peter Townsend said?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. They found kitty porn, I believe. This is. Allegedly. They found kitty porn on his. What?

[Jacob]

They didn't.

[Rich Voss]

They didn't. This is the problem with. This is the problem with the world. No, this is the problem with the world we live in today. You can't have a damn rumor anymore because some went out and found the truth. Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who.

[Jacob]

I was a big who fan. Yeah, I could tell you. I mean, I don't.

[Rich Voss]

Did Richard Gere not put a gerbil in his ass, too? You're going to ruin that one. Is the fat chick with the frozen hot dog. The fat chick with the. She's not. That's not real. That never happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two cups and a girl.

[Rich Voss]

That happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two girls in a cup.

[Rich Voss]

But it wasn't poo, apparently. It was Carvel.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Pudding.

[Rich Voss]

No, it was. It was pudding. It was. What was it? The. The.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Fairy Queen Custard?

[Rich Voss]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, how many brown things are there that are soft? What the.

[Rich Voss]

Lou's got one in his pants right now. Peanut butter on the. No, it's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Nutzella. Which is.

[Rich Voss]

Nutzella. What's Nutz. Oh, my God. You're a.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the.

[Rich Voss]

Is

[Bobby Kelly]

not. What is it called?

[Rich Voss]

Nutzella. That's what it's called.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's why I called it.

[Rich Voss]

It's called Nutzella.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it isn't.

[Rich Voss]

No, it's. I swear to God, it's. It's from Europe. It's called Nutzella.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, what the was in the cup? If you were. You're sitting here saying, that's not it. That's not it. Then what is it?

[Rich Voss]

I just wanted to get to you going, Nutzella.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's in it?

[Rich Voss]

What's in the cup? It's called Nutella. You okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

Was it Nutella in the cup? No, it was too brown. Nutella's too brown.

[Rich Voss]

What's. What's the foamy chocolate thing?

[Bobby Kelly]

Chocolate. What's it called?

[Rich Voss]

Come on, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's foamy.

[Rich Voss]

It's like a light. It's a light chocolate dish.

[Bobby Kelly]

A moose.

[Rich Voss]

Moose. Yeah. Right. If I. If I. If this is four years ago, you would have got that quicker by looking at me.

[Jacob]

Oh, what is the moose rumor?

[Rich Voss]

Stop touching your mic.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm trying to get in.

[Rich Voss]

Listen, listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, all right.

[Rich Voss]

Relax. Listen, I just want to say something I've been doing. Let me just say something. I've been doing radio with you for 30 years. Almost 30 years, and you don't wear headphones. And the only reason. Hang On.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just had my hearing aids in.

[Rich Voss]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I have my hearing aids in. There you go.

[Rich Voss]

You have hearing aids in now?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

Are you Me?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Why would I.

[Rich Voss]

You. Can I see them?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, hold on. I. I don't have hacks programmed, so let me get you in. What's there to see?

[Rich Voss]

You can't even see them. I didn't even notice them. Oh, my God. Okay. No, don't put them near the microphone. Oh, God.

[Jacob]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

What happened?

[Rich Voss]

What do you. If you had headphones on, you'd hear it.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was a back. There was feedback.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, feedback.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, thanks. In the bottle, too. Perfect.

[Rich Voss]

You like that?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't drink out of cans.

[Rich Voss]

When did you get hearing aids, man?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like a month ago.

[Rich Voss]

Are those real hearing aids or those. Did you buy them off Facebook Marketplace?

[Bobby Kelly]

I got them. They're 2,000 bucks.

[Rich Voss]

Or you paid 2,000. $2,000 for hearing aids?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but they're good. They're supposed to help prevent Alzheimer's.

[Rich Voss]

What is it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Help prevent Alzheimer's.

[Rich Voss]

Is it. Oh, is it. Oh, Is that how you say it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Or dementia. Help to prevent dementia.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, that word Better.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Alzheimer's.

[Jacob]

You.

[Rich Voss]

You were deaf? Completely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh? No, I wasn't deaf at all. I had a little bit of hearing loss.

[Rich Voss]

So why did you get them?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because it before it before, it escalates and gets worse. Yeah, now I nip it in the butt. And when I say nip, I don't mean Asian. I nip it in the butt. Comedy.

[Rich Voss]

You're so old school.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I got. What's his name in trouble.

[Rich Voss]

Listen, you. But if you. If you had a little hearing loss, you don't need that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Some here. Well, they say get them. I had a hearing. Have you ever had a hearing test?

[Rich Voss]

I have.

[Bobby Kelly]

What'd they say?

[Rich Voss]

I have perfect hearing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What about eyes?

[Rich Voss]

Perfect. Well, no, I have glasses now, but I just. I. They're reading glasses.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I got to do next? Have you done the. What do you call it?

[Rich Voss]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

I'm going to announce our guest. I want to see if he remembers his name first. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, God. Ladies and gentlemen, the legend Rich Voss is in studio.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good to be here. Thank you.

[Rich Voss]

One of my oldest friends. Shirtless, sleeveless, as always.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not as always. Now that it's getting was like 90 degrees.

[Rich Voss]

These. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have a hoodie in the car if it gets colder later. But

[Rich Voss]

thanks for that info.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have to do a calcium test. Have you done calcium yet?

[Rich Voss]

For the heart?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Yes.

[Rich Voss]

He had nothing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing. I bailed.

[Rich Voss]

I did. I did that. Here's the problem. Anytime one of you old coots that I know has a problem, I immediately go get what that is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Because I don't want to be in the same boat. When Colin had a heart attack, I went and got all my heart checks.

[Bobby Kelly]

You did a stress test?

[Rich Voss]

I did a stress test on a treadmill.

[Bobby Kelly]

You did a treadmill one or what? How did you do your stress test?

[Rich Voss]

I did the stress test.

[Bobby Kelly]

On the treadmill?

[Rich Voss]

Yes, on the treadmill. Why do you quit? Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me ask you. There's a couple different ways to do it.

[Rich Voss]

That's.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm just asking.

[Rich Voss]

There's only one way to do it. No, there's only one stress test.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, there's. Coming into studio here. That's one.

[Rich Voss]

That is one I've had. My heart is fine. I've been here for three years. Then, yeah, he did it on the treadmill. Like, five minutes in on the treadmill, he's like, you're fine. He said, get off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, me too. When I did, sure. But that was a while ago. My doctor, when she did my ekg, she goes, nothing to worry about. But I want you to get a. Was a calcium test. She goes, do you get out of breath? I go, I'm out of breath sitting here, you know? Do you get out of breath a lot?

[Rich Voss]

No. Never.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Rich Voss]

Not anymore. When I was fat as hell, I used to get. I used to get out of breath putting my pants on, tying my shoes. Yeah, I used to get out of breath. I used to always tie my shoes to the left and to the right because I couldn't go straight down because of my stomach. So if you look.

[Bobby Kelly]

How much. How much weight did you lose? You lost weight?

[Rich Voss]

You. Jacob, you were there. You saw me. Yeah.

[Jacob]

You were there.

[Rich Voss]

You never said a thing.

[Jacob]

It wasn't. Did I? I was not on that level to say. Who was I to you back then?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody.

[Rich Voss]

Same as who you are now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing.

[Rich Voss]

You're a smug face I have to look at three times a week.

[Jacob]

Your best friends didn't say a word to you either?

[Rich Voss]

Not one of my friends.

[Bobby Kelly]

About what? Being overweight?

[Rich Voss]

They did talk about me behind my back. Yeah.

[Jacob]

There was a betting pool.

[Rich Voss]

Was there a betting pool?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I never talked. You lost weight. I mean, you still look like a pin cushion, but you look a lot better and you're healthier and you work out.

[Rich Voss]

What. What do you mean I look like a pin cushion?

[Bobby Kelly]

Not a big one.

[Rich Voss]

I don't. I Think I let me take my jacket off.

[Bobby Kelly]

You look good. You don't. You stopped working out.

[Rich Voss]

I stopped.

[Bobby Kelly]

You still lift. Dude, you got big arms.

[Rich Voss]

Dude, what are you talking about?

[Bobby Kelly]

You had no chest, but you have big arms.

[Jacob]

He has a chest.

[Rich Voss]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't see it, buddy.

[Rich Voss]

You are disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you be mean? I'm sorry. I'm trying to be nice.

[Rich Voss]

You know, that's my thing. I only first gear and sixth gear. I go right for the jugular.

[Bobby Kelly]

Geez. I'm being nice.

[Rich Voss]

I hope you have. I hope you have so much plaque in your arteries.

[Bobby Kelly]

Calcium.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, whatever. I hope out of all my friends, the one that's actually still kicking around is you when you get home.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hope you find your wife not with plaque, but it rhymes with that. Me.

[Rich Voss]

Me too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Me too.

[Rich Voss]

I'd love to go in and find it with a nice black guy.

[Jacob]

I've never conceived of the idea that being out of breath to bend down and tie your shoes. Astounding.

[Bobby Kelly]

I get out of breath very easy.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. That's not my whole life.

[Jacob]

Not good.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not my whole life.

[Rich Voss]

That's not. That's because you're Jewish.

[Bobby Kelly]

Has something to do with it. Nothing to do with.

[Rich Voss]

I know. I'm sorry. Oh, the silence was deafening.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I mean, you know, it's a. Oh, my daughter. I lost my daughter. She's 19. She's just so far gone.

[Rich Voss]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Kelly]

She's just so left. She's listening to college professors tick tock. She has no sense of reality. She doesn't really know what's going on. She sent me a video of some kid that was bloodshot the fuck up.

[Rich Voss]

I tell you something. It's not the colleges. It's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's part of the college. It's not the wrong.

[Rich Voss]

I'm going to say something. Can I say it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

It's not the colleges. It's not TikTok. It's who she is. Max is on Tik Tok. Max goes to a liberal type of school. What do you talk. He's. We watched the show with him the other day and I'm like, didn't that make you cry? He's like, no, I. I felt.

[Jacob]

I go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you think guys are different than girls?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, she's a girl. Girls always. They.

[Bobby Kelly]

They go with emotions, not intellect.

[Rich Voss]

And. And what's gonna happen is she's gonna hit her 20s, she's gonna be on her own, she's gonna get a boyfriend, she's gonna have kids.

[Bobby Kelly]

She has a boyfriend.

[Rich Voss]

She's gonna, she's gonna get a real boyfriend and then she's gonna have kids and then she's gonna go back to center. She's gonna see how life works a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

I told you the father daughter talk I had with her. But was it okay before her prom? Right. I told, I sat her, you know, I'm close with my kids just like you are. Yeah. And I go, look, there's things in this world that, that are very sacred, you know? God, your parents, your virginity. And I go, I know you're going away with this guy on the prom and for a weekend, and he's going to expect something from you. So I told her that you can give him a little titty. I said, like that, just a little titty. Go little titty. But you mean grab her.

[Rich Voss]

You're actually making nipple. Like she.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. I say you can give him no hands, just so he can't grab the titty. But he. A little.

[Rich Voss]

He can just pinch the nipple and

[Bobby Kelly]

tell him, and tell him, and tell him your father said it's okay.

[Rich Voss]

That's disgusting. And that's. That's good. I. I remember, I remember when I was. When I was Hot Bobby and I used to. You know what, When I was Hot Bobby, back in my 20s.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

I used to make out with girls and then I'd lean in their ear and I'd go, like, God, man, you kiss just like my sister.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I said that about my dad

[Rich Voss]

just to break the monotony. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would make out with him. I'd go, okay, now try to get away.

[Rich Voss]

You know what Bert Kreisler used to do all the time? He used to walk up at the Cellar at the bar and go over to a girl's drink and just sprinkle. Like pretend to sprinkle something in it. He goes, I'll see you in an hour. Before all this wok,

[Bobby Kelly]

this comic had a great line. I don't even know who it was. His pickup line was, come with me, I have a weapon. I don't know what comic said that.

[Rich Voss]

It kind of sucks for kids now, I think. You know, I think it sucks more for girls because girls, guys are so gun shy with chicks now that you can't even be a. You know, a dirty. You can't even.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like as a guy, you mean?

[Rich Voss]

No, as a girl. Like, girls, like. I think, correct me if I'm wrong, Christine, girls like to be slutty and hoary and do crazy.

[Christine]

I mean, this girl. But I just Pulled up this article. Nearly half of Gen Z adults have never had sex. They don't know how to each other. Yeah, it's actually really gross and sad. Pregnancy's down.

[Bobby Kelly]

What age is Gen Z? What age?

[Christine]

It's Jay's daughters. Janice Reina. Hang on, let me see.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate this whole Gen stuff. What are we? What? I'm old?

[Rich Voss]

You're. You're actually a pilgrim.

[Christine]

Gen Z are people born between 1997 and 2012.

[Rich Voss]

What is 1970? What is that? That's.

[Christine]

I think you're Gen X. I'm Gen X.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, was that when you were born?

[Rich Voss]

That's the coolest generation of all time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, you go by when you were born?

[Rich Voss]

Yes.

[Christine]

Where you were? It's a range. So baby boomers, 46 to 64.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was born 57.

[Rich Voss]

You're a baby boomer?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I'm saying. Is that good or.

[Rich Voss]

No? No, it's stupid. Why?

[Christine]

Well, everybody thinks your generation ruined the world.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. No, stop, Frost. Everybody like her thinks that.

[Christine]

My people Gen X too. Everybody thinks Baby boomers.

[Rich Voss]

Why? Why do they think they ruin the world? I don't understand.

[Christine]

I don't know exactly, but that's what they think.

[Rich Voss]

You're almost part of the greatest generation.

[Bobby Kelly]

We don't around.

[Rich Voss]

I'm gen X, right.

[Christine]

65 to 80 and gen X is the best.

[Rich Voss]

Gen X is considered the coolest.

[Bobby Kelly]

All this stuff is so stupid, it's dumb.

[Rich Voss]

But I'm the coolest, so I like it.

[Jacob]

Why does one generation get way more years? The newest generation is what is like. Oh, no. Okay, I made a mistake. It's the same amount of years.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

All right, never mind.

[Bobby Kelly]

Baby boomers defined by post war options. What now?

[Rich Voss]

We heard. We heard a gurgle.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was that me?

[Rich Voss]

It was probably you, but you can't hear it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Swallowing.

[Rich Voss]

I don't know. Probably swallowing or swallowing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did he little snitch on me? What? Hey, Sam, calm down.

[Rich Voss]

It's not Sam. That's DJ Lou. How dare you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I heard gurgling coming through my headphones and I thought maybe it was Bobby, but then we both pointed at you.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, yeah, it was you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe I'm.

[Rich Voss]

I just don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I.

[Rich Voss]

Because I'm.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the.

[Rich Voss]

What's wrong with you?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sipping my drink.

[Rich Voss]

Stop with your belly noises. Ugh. You're such a. Will you stop?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry.

[Rich Voss]

I'm disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry.

[Rich Voss]

I. Because I'm Gen X and I'm the coolest. I like. I like it now, but I agree with you. It is kind of dumb. It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

When did this start?

[Rich Voss]

This happened like, this happened like 10 years ago. Right?

[Christine]

There's always been generations. It just kind of came when the Internet happened. We would make fun of. I thought millennials was like a new word for hipster. At first I didn't realize that, like, I was a millennial, it was just a generation name. But baby boomers, the silent generation, the grace generation, these have existed forever.

[Rich Voss]

This generation stinks because people, parents, helicopter parents, they don't let them do anything. They don't let them get hurt. They don't let them go out. They go everywhere with them. They.

[Bobby Kelly]

What year is that you're talking about? Not now, now.

[Christine]

2013 to 2020.

[Jacob]

The parents is. The child murderers ruined it for everyone.

[Christine]

Yeah, all the child rapists did hurt.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, but listen. Yeah, I mean, what the diddlers?

[Jacob]

But you're not gonna let Max wander too far.

[Rich Voss]

No, but I'm gonna. If he, you know, go. I let him go out all the time. He's like, I'm leaving with a tracker.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he's a big guy.

[Rich Voss]

I have a tracker on his phone. Listen, I'm gonna know where he is. When he gets diddled, he can call me and be like, I just got diddled at the park. I'd be like, I'll pick you up and I'll talk to you about my diddle, and then we'll. We'll share diddle stories. Nice one.

[Jacob]

I think most parents would like to loosen the reins, but are too, apparently.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, now you're wrong. Because my daughter. At a certain age, you got to trust your kids to do the right things. You don't want to let an 8 or 9 year old take off and go to the park by themselves like we used to do as kids, but when they become 18, 19. No, no, no, no.

[Jacob]

I let my mindset. Well, you should be able to let your kid go to the park at 8.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not by themselves.

[Rich Voss]

I let more, but I let max at 10, 11, 12. He goes out, he goes to the gym at night by himself. He goes to the park. Yeah, but he's a big guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

How old is he?

[Rich Voss]

He's 12. Oh, I just said that. Yeah, I did. If you had headphones, you would have heard it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's still 12.

[Rich Voss]

Are your hearing aids on?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Jacob]

When my brother was 8.

[Rich Voss]

Is he still 12? Hang on one second. No, he just turned 13. Yes, I said he's 12.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, good. How big is he?

[Rich Voss]

You think it is birthday between your sentences?

[Bobby Kelly]

How big is he?

[Rich Voss]

He's Five. He's almost five, nine.

[Bobby Kelly]

And nobody's messing with him.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, but it's not. That's not the point. It's like.

[Ad Voice]

Well, we have.

[Christine]

I have friends that. My best friend has a six year old and a three year old and her and her community, they have like landlines now. So the kids don't have cell phones, but they can call each other to like, play like boundaries in the neighborhood. And they let the kids kind of play in the lawn and have some autonomy, but the parents are still kind of like watching. And it's a community of people, but they're trying to loosen the reins a little bit.

[Rich Voss]

You got to let your kid go. You got to let your kid go fuck up and do stupid shit. I have a thing with Max. I have a code word, and we have a code work. I go, you're ever in trouble with the cops, any, anything, anywhere where you're at and you don't want to be, you call my phone. You say this one word, no questions asked, not in trouble, I come and pick you up. I'll come and pick you up. Whatever it is, you don't have to deal with it. I'm just coming to get you. One code word. So he. He goes to places and hangs out with kids all the time. You gotta let your kids. But these parents don't let them do it, and they don't let them hang. I showed up at the park one day. Max was two smoking hot girls. I'm like, what are you doing up here? He's like, you know, just hanging. Then he winked at me. I was like, all right, this is weird. And then. And then we went back to the house. Dom wasn't home.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have a code word. What is it? Ouch.

[Rich Voss]

That's your daughter's code word. Ouch. And if you hear it over and over again, you drive faster. You're a piece of shit, you know that? You're garbage. You should have had a boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have three girls.

[Rich Voss]

I know you have. You have.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're the greatest.

[Rich Voss]

You have jizz.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you. I raised three. Three girls that are all fantastic, all your sperm.

[Rich Voss]

The only ones that are healthy are girls. All your boys die in your nuts

[Bobby Kelly]

or on somebody's that too. I have a God, you get so lucky in life. I mean, I guess if you do the right things too. Like, my daughters have never seen me high or drunk or anything. So, you know, we set an example and. And you get lucky. The fact that you have a great son. My. All my daughters are fantastic.

[Rich Voss]

My kid is going to drink, he's going to smoke pot, he's going to get arrested. 100. I know that already. I know, I know. I could tell. Max is a. He's like me. He's gonna, he likes doing. He likes, you know, ring and run. He loves, you know, he came in the other night at like 11 and he's running out of breath. He's like, I'm like, what's wrong? He goes, we were ringing and running and then they called the cops and the cops are driving around. We had to hide in bushes. And that's, that's part of being a

[Christine]

boy, though, who doesn't call it Ding Dong Ditch.

[Rich Voss]

My son ringing and running.

[Christine]

They rebranded Ding Dong Ditch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Ring and run.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ring and run.

[Rich Voss]

Ring and run. Ding Dong Ditch. That's so weird. That's so California. Ding Dong ditch. What does that mean?

[Christine]

That's what it is.

[Rich Voss]

Tell me, tell me what Ding Dong gets you.

[Christine]

You ring the bell, it goes ding dong and then you leave.

[Rich Voss]

Nobody has, everybody has a ring now. It makes a different sound. It doesn't go ding dong, it goes blah blah.

[Jacob]

You're all on camera too.

[Rich Voss]

I know, I know.

[Jacob]

You're getting away with 10 cameras. Videotape your son after sun. Ringing the bell and ringing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Running.

[Rich Voss]

I don't mind that he does that. I mean, it's fine. It's part of being a boy. Do stupid, get caught. Learn your lesson. He's not going to learn from me. He's not going to learn from me going, you shouldn't do that because that's bad. And other people, he's going to be like, yeah, okay, he's going to do it anyways. At least I'd rather have him tell me that he did it and trust me that he did it than to, you know, hide it from me. It. Go do your it. He's gonna go through it. He's gonna, you know, he's smoking weed. Everybody smokes weed, for God's sake, at that age.

[Christine]

Are they doing it that young?

[Rich Voss]

No, not now.

[Christine]

I didn't even smoke weed that young.

[Rich Voss]

Not now when it's, you know, 16, 17, you know he's gonna.

[Jacob]

Can a penis be that big?

[Rich Voss]

I don't know, Jacob.

[Christine]

My son does have a 30 year old virgin like the rest of these kiddos.

[Rich Voss]

I don't want that.

[Christine]

Hopefully, hopefully Max's generation figures something out. They gotta start like locking phones at school dances or something and let people have fun again. I, it's. This got to be a nightmare.

[Rich Voss]

Here's what you got to do, you gotta let. You gotta. You gotta talk. You gotta let the girls be slutty again. Let them be a little hoey again. Get him back into the Catholic church. Get them back to church.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those dresses.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. Girls are. Girls are up.

[Christine]

You know, it seems like they're pretty slutty. And the boys are scared to talk to them.

[Rich Voss]

Well. Because of all the. That happened. You know what I mean? All the dads got scared. You know, we want to. We gotta raise a. You know, raise a kid who, you know, respects women and don't.

[Christine]

Girls that are passed out.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. No means no. You're not. Don't.

[Christine]

Unconscious women.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Don't have.

[Christine]

I know it changed the college experience for the young boys, but change it

[Rich Voss]

for the girls, too. They had the story, too. Remember that time I banged the football team good, Jacob.

[Jacob]

Oh, no.

[Rich Voss]

Yes.

[Jacob]

Well, it's your.

[Rich Voss]

Bring it up.

[Jacob]

Well, you want me to start this?

[Rich Voss]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Because I have no idea what.

[Jacob]

You're first on the list.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's why. Oh, the bike.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you asked me three times about a bike.

[Rich Voss]

Here's the problem with the bike.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no problem. It's a great.

[Jacob]

A little background.

[Rich Voss]

Here's a little. No, we're going to give a little context. Jacob loves context. All right. Okay. And the listener needs it around three years ago. Am I right? Two, Two and a half.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's at my party.

[Rich Voss]

Was that two years ago? That was three years ago.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two years ago. Two summers ago.

[Rich Voss]

Two summers ago. Yes. Are you sure?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. Because we haven't lived there three years.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. Two summers ago, I went to your house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

And there was a brand new in the box electric bike inside of your garage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was it still in the box?

[Rich Voss]

Yes, it was still in the box.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just had to put together.

[Rich Voss]

And I said, I would like to buy that because I'm looking. I need it. I want an electric bike. Max wants an electric bike.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

For his birthday. I would love to. Let me buy it off you right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Let me. You're like, now I'm go. I. I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna use it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'm like, first of all, don't use that voice. Don't use that voice. Just go to. I mean, it's identical conversation. I didn't go. I mean, you use it.

[Rich Voss]

You call me a fat pin cushion.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I. I didn't say fat.

[Rich Voss]

I said pin cushion, which is in my brain.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fat. No, I've seen some nice.

[Jacob]

Not a Positive.

[Rich Voss]

I won't use. I won't use the exact voice you use.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. I won't story, and I'll tell the story you.

[Rich Voss]

And I was like, let me buy. You're like, no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna use it.

[Bobby Kelly]

How's that?

[Rich Voss]

Is that. I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna use it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said, no, I'm probably gonna.

[Rich Voss]

It was a little whiny. It was a little whiny. Okay. And I don't mean it the way you think I mean it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do.

[Rich Voss]

I do not.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do.

[Rich Voss]

I do not hold up a flag while you say, all right, I'll just say it regular so you don't get a. I'm gonna use it. Is that better?

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, go ahead, tell it. Keep going.

[Rich Voss]

I'm go it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'm gonna use it.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. I'm gonna use it.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you doing? Singing a song. I'm gonna use it.

[Rich Voss]

That's not the way you said it, though. It had tone. You're saying it like you're a nice person. You weren't. You said, I'm adding tone to it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, go ahead.

[Rich Voss]

I'm gonna use it. I'm using it. How's this? I'm gonna use it. Yeah, I'm gonna use it. I'm like, voss, you're never gonna use it. You're never gonna use it. I know you. You're not getting on this bike ever. Let me buy it off. No, I. If I don't use. Are you farting right now?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'm stretching my back.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. So I was so. I was like, you never. You're never going to use it. And you're like, I will use it. And you got kind of mad like, I will use it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't get mad. You're exaggerating, Bonnie.

[Ad Voice]

Go ahead.

[Rich Voss]

My story.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, then I'll tell my story.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, great. And then I called you back up. I'm like, dude, let me buy that bike. And you're like, no. When. As you say. Well, hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Finish.

[Rich Voss]

Go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a gift from a company, so I didn't want to. I didn't want to sell it right then.

[Rich Voss]

Do you think that company. What do you think they're fucking waiting for you to make an Instagram post about it? Well, it would help that you didn't for two years. You didn't take it out of the box.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're right.

[Rich Voss]

And then you said to me, no, as soon as rain is. Can you stop burping? I'm gonna throw Up. Can you stop burping into the microphone?

[Bobby Kelly]

Your diet.

[Rich Voss]

I'm gonna throw up, okay? It's grossing me out. It's disgusting. You said when. As soon as Raina goes to school, I'm going to start riding around the neighborhood and stuff like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

And that's when I got to put it together when she was off of college.

[Rich Voss]

She's been off of college for a year?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And I had to put together.

[Rich Voss]

She had it put together a week ago.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no, no. I had to put together.

[Rich Voss]

What did you say?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. I had to put together a couple more times ago. I just took it out a week ago.

[Rich Voss]

One more time.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. I had it. It put together, like, maybe three months ago, but I took it out warmer.

[Rich Voss]

You did not have it three months ago. It was snowing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the guy that came over that does work in my house put it

[Rich Voss]

together during the winter time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, because he came over to do stuff on the heater.

[Rich Voss]

I have no evidence to.

[Bobby Kelly]

It doesn't matter. It was a couple months ago.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, a couple months ago or three months ago?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like three months ago.

[Rich Voss]

Was it two or three?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like three.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, so that's a few months ago. A couple is two.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're not in court. Just keep going with the dumb.

[Rich Voss]

We are in court. And you'd hear all these amazing sound effects Lou's doing. If you put your headphones once in your life, the show would be much more enjoyable to you. I mean, he's killing it. He's a killer. So. So I'm going to tell Jacob, because I'm not going to tell him, because he. So he said, as soon as she goes to school, I'm going to use. And I called him again. I go, dude, come on, sell me that bike. You're not using it. It's been a year. It's still in the box.

[Bobby Kelly]

It wasn't.

[Rich Voss]

It was when I called you the third time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Second time, you never did. Second time.

[Rich Voss]

Second time I called. I called you three times.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you didn't.

[Rich Voss]

Yes, I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two times.

[Rich Voss]

Your honor, I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, go ahead.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, it's not your turn right now. I'm talking to the judge. It's not your turn.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't care.

[Rich Voss]

Well, you have to.

[Jacob]

You offered to buy it.

[Rich Voss]

I offered to buy it three times. And he said, no, no, no, no. Then the. No, no, no, no. So then it becomes illegal in Jersey.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, see, you're wrong again, but go ahead.

[Rich Voss]

It's illegal in Jersey to have a electric bike that goes over 30 miles an hour. It's illegal. The law changed, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yet.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, it did.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. In August.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, well, whatever. You can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then don't get gay.

[Rich Voss]

I can't help it. Then he calls me. He's like, you want the bike? It's two years later. I already bought the fucking bike. I already got the. I got Max's present.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you asked me again the other day. You asked me, like, four months ago. Hey, sell me that bike. So don't say you know that's not true.

[Rich Voss]

Prove it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have to prove anything. You're saying I can.

[Rich Voss]

You can record all our conversations.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I recorded the one where you said, sell it to me.

[Rich Voss]

Did you really?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Rich Voss]

Oh. So then he calls me up to sell me the bike. He's not using it. He's. He's not using it. Are you. Using it once is not using it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It.

[Rich Voss]

Using it all the time is using it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You drove time. What am I gonna do?

[Rich Voss]

This.

[Bobby Kelly]

I drove to the park.

[Rich Voss]

This is exactly what I knew you're gonna do. You're gonna use it one time and be like, this stinks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. It's fun.

[Rich Voss]

It's not fun. You're 70 and you're. You're not gonna drive around to the park by.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, I bought a helmet.

[Rich Voss]

You did not.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got a nice helmet.

[Jacob]

Why don't you want to use it?

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Jacob]

Why don't you use it then?

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the thing.

[Metro by T-Mobile Announcer]

These days, a free offer doesn't stay free for long. The hidden fee starts stacking up. Service fees, activation fees. Next thing you know, it' but at Metro by T Mobile, you can get the new Samsung Galaxy A17.5G phone free and save. With no activation Fees, that's about $250 back in your pocket. What could you do with that? So many things. You could buy junk food or video games. Or maybe go buy a ticket to the theater. They say the theater is dying. Help them out. You got 250 extra dollars in your pocket. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. What are you waiting for? Find your local store. Just bring your number and sign up for the dol. Plan savings based on device discount and waived activation fee. Not available. If you were with Metro or T Mobile in the past 180 days, confronting

[Coop Sleep Goods Announcer]

high credit card debt can feel scary. But the good news is if you owe $10,000 or more in credit card debt, financial relief options are now available. National Debt Relief is currently offering debt relief designed to reduce what you owe. Fast tracking your way to being debt free. If you qualify for debt relief, you may be able to pay back significantly less than what you owe and save thousands of dollars. Imagine only paying one low monthly program payment you can afford and saving money as you become debt free. National debt relief has already helped bring debt relief to over 550,000 US consumers, earning thousands of five star reviews and an A rating with the Better Business Bureau. You're stronger than your credit card debt. Take the first step and visit startndr.com to see what debt relief you qualify for. That's start ndr.com you know that thing

[Ad Voice]

where you get an amazing pair of

[Christine]

shoes at a really great price and

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

want to tell everyone about it?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Christine]

So do we.

[DSW Announcer]

Here at Designer Shoe Warehouse. We'll give you something to brag about,

[Rich Voss]

like the latest styles from brands you love or the trends everyone's obsessing over,

[Christine]

or shoes that make you feel like, well, you.

[Rich Voss]

So go ahead, show off a little. Find shoes that get you at prices that get your budget.

[DSW Announcer]

Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today.

[Rich Voss]

DSW. Let us surprise you.

[Ad Voice]

You ever wake up at like 3am and your bed is just warm for no reason? Like suddenly you're flipping your pillow, rotating like a rotisserie chicken, trying to find one cool spot that disappears immediately. At that point you've kicked off the covers, adjusted the fan, maybe accepted your fate. And that's why Coop sleepgoods made their cooling collection designed to stay cool all night, not just for the first five minutes. And right now it's 20% off so you can retire the whole flip the pillow 47 times routine. Coops pillows are adjustable, breathable and made to help keep things cool while you sleep. Plus they have sheets and toppers so your whole setup can chill out. If your bed's been running a little warm, this is your moment. Go to coopsleepgoods.com comedy that's C-O-O-Psleepgoods.com comedy and get 20% off.

[DSW Announcer]

This is a Monday.com ad. The same Monday.com helping people worldwide getting work done faster and better. The same Monday.com designed for every team and every industry. The samemonday.com with built in AI scaling your work from day one. The same Monday.com that your team will actually love using the samemonday.com with an easy and intuitive setup. Go to Monday.com and try it for free.

[Christine]

Free.

[DSW Announcer]

Yes, the same Monday.com struggling with your weight?

[Prolon Announcer]

Prolon's five day fasting mimicking diet is a clinically developed nutrition program designed to promote fat loss while protecting lean body mass. Developed at USC's Longevity Institute, it assists the body in entering a fasting like state that helps reset metabolism and target visceral fat when paired with proper diet and exercise. In just five days, Prolon offers a structured, science backed approach to weight loss without extreme restriction or guesswork. Get 15 off plus a 40 bonus gift when you [e-mail] here's the thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did use it. I go. When it gets a little warmer, which it is now, I go, I'll take it to the park. Or when Bonnie takes the dog out for a walk, I'll ride alongside or meet her at the park. But then like you said, I heard in Jersey, come August or July, you're going to have to register and insure them. Yeah, now my insurance is 1500amonth. All right, so I told you that.

[Rich Voss]

Who told you that it's illegal.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who told. It's not illegal yet.

[Rich Voss]

But who told you it's illegal like it's going to be illegal.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was at a meeting and a guy had one of the bikes and he told me. Oh, God, you didn't tell me. I told you.

[Rich Voss]

I told you didn't tell me. I told you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I told you.

[Rich Voss]

I told you it.

[Bobby Kelly]

A guy I told you told me he had.

[Rich Voss]

I told you.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that's irrelevant. Even if you told me or I told you that, that makes no sense. Okay, here's the thing. All I do is say to Bobby, if you still want the bike, I'll sell it. If you don't, no big deal, I'll keep it. Whatever I'm selling for. A thousand is not.

[Rich Voss]

No, that's not what you said. I'll read the text because I have the evidence of that. I want a thousand bucks. 10, 100 bills, cash.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But here's the thing.

[Rich Voss]

Thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the thing. And then I said, you're on the phone. Whether you buy it or not, it's okay. That's not going to change my life. I thought I was doing you a favor because I thought you still wanted it. Well, I quit being so selfish. I thought you still wanted. I go, let me call Bobby. If he still wants, then that's not a big deal.

[Jacob]

Yeah, but just the bike worth.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Jacob]

How much was the bike?

[Bobby Kelly]

I saw it online for 2700.

[Rich Voss]

You think he called me and gave me a quota what he wanted without him knowing exactly how much?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I looked it. I looked it up after you said, let me. Let me do some research. Then I looked it up because you

[Rich Voss]

think, why don't you just give it to me?

[Jacob]

I think that's.

[Bobby Kelly]

You've lost your mind. I've already given you.

[Rich Voss]

I got it in the car. In my truck.

[Bobby Kelly]

In the car.

[Rich Voss]

I got it in my truck. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why didn't you bring it in?

[Rich Voss]

I forgot. It's right in my back seat. I keep. I will listen. I'm telling you, walk with Christine in my truck after.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Rich Voss]

Why? It's right down the street.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get it, bring it to me. I'm not.

[Rich Voss]

Where'd you park?

[Bobby Kelly]

In the parking garage.

[Rich Voss]

Where?

[Bobby Kelly]

48th Street.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. It's right there. Yeah. Christine, can you show them and you can get it tonight? It's my back seat. I go, you know what I got you?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Rich Voss]

You want me to tell you?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Why? Because it's a surprise. It's a gift.

[Rich Voss]

It's not a surprise. You're. We're grown men. We're not surprised.

[Bobby Kelly]

I gave you a nice gift for Christmas.

[Rich Voss]

I got. You got. You didn't. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I gave you that fist hammer.

[Rich Voss]

You gave me a fist hammer?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's nice.

[Rich Voss]

It's weird, but it's nice. It's not nice. I have to explain it to everybody that sees it.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you haven't. In your car. You could really.

[Rich Voss]

No, it looks like. It looks like I'm putting in my.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's.

[Rich Voss]

It's a fist.

[Bobby Kelly]

I loved it. I was gonna get myself one.

[Rich Voss]

I bet you would. He got me a fist hammer for Christmas.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I had two things for you, and I kept the other one and gave you that one.

[Rich Voss]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I had an option to give you

[Rich Voss]

two things, and you didn't give me two, you kept one.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was only giving you one. One of the two.

[Rich Voss]

What was the other gift I could have got besides a fist hammer?

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a crank radio that you crank.

[Rich Voss]

I would have loved that.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it's a cb. It has everything. I would have loved if you crank it.

[Rich Voss]

I would have loved that.

[Bobby Kelly]

You would. I thought you would have had that already.

[Rich Voss]

I don't have it. I really would love. That's great for camping. I would have loved to take that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe for your birthday.

[Rich Voss]

Why don't you. Anyways, when's your birthday? I got you a charger. It's, you know, the battery charges for the phone. Yeah. The ones that you. You know, you plug your phone in. The.

[Bobby Kelly]

The crank thing has a battery charger, too.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everything.

[Rich Voss]

Remember. You remember? Remember?

[Bobby Kelly]

You went to light.

[Rich Voss]

You Went to Mohegan Sun. Car was dead. The battery was dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

And you didn't have cables?

[Bobby Kelly]

They said it was dead, but I don't think it was.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, that's besides the point. Can. I couldn't. I don't know how Bonnie even talks to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

She doesn't.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, good. That makes sense. I gave you. I got you. So now you keep it in your car. It's fully charged.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

Anytime you call, you just put it on your battery. I hate you. I hate you.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you put on your battery.

[Rich Voss]

Can I finish my. My. My present story?

[Bobby Kelly]

If you quit holding your breast when you talk. You're trying to turn me on, so I agree with you.

[Rich Voss]

It's. It's a battery thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then. Yes, stop talking, go back on your phone.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. And you. Anytime you. Your battery dies, you just put it up and it juices your car.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, those are cool. It's awesome. Yeah, I saw one.

[Rich Voss]

It's very expensive, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah? Nah.

[Rich Voss]

100 bucks. I spent 50 bucks. 49.99. I seen on Facebook Marketplace.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I bought bonds money. And she won't even open it. I'm sure you have one, too, in case you're. You get a flat, your car runs out of air. You plug it in, and you could pump the air into your car through your. Either your cigarette light or. This one's automatic. It pumps air.

[Rich Voss]

It's an air pump.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

What if there's a hole in your tire? You can just get her a can of Fix a flat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that too, but to pump the air.

[Rich Voss]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I'm just saying. It's always good to have.

[Rich Voss]

I'm just saying this to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You. I'm just saying.

[Rich Voss]

Why. Let's go back in the history of this. This. This bike.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the thing.

[Rich Voss]

How did you get the bike?

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a gift, okay? Through the company.

[Rich Voss]

How much did you pay?

[Bobby Kelly]

A gift? You don't pay.

[Rich Voss]

Great. So why don't you give it to me?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Rich Voss]

Why don't you give it to me for 500 bucks?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Rich Voss]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you don't need it. You bought one. Remember you said that.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, I know, but I bought one for Max. I would like to have one for me. Oh, 500 bucks. No, that's my final offer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. No way.

[Rich Voss]

500 cash. No, in 20s. Let me tell you, so it looks like more. More.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you something. I have a thousand in my wallet just in case of emergency. I don't need it. I was doing you a favor, all

[Rich Voss]

right, dude, forget It. Keep the bike. I hope it rots in your garage. So do I. I do. I hope it just. I hope you. Every time you look at it, you get sad.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hope.

[Rich Voss]

You know what I hope happens? I hope my whole family dies. And then every time you think of us, you look at that bike. Every time you look at that bike, you think, I should have gave.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna ride that bike to the funeral. No, They go for 2700 bucks. I'm giving it to you for a thousand.

[Rich Voss]

But you're acting like you paid for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That doesn't matter. If someone gave you a. Okay. If somebody gave you a diamond necklace as a gift and I said, oh, let me have it.

[Rich Voss]

No, that's totally different.

[Bobby Kelly]

How's it different?

[Rich Voss]

Because a diamond necklace has value and goes up in value. That's like an investment. This stupid bike, they've made 19 different versions.

[Bobby Kelly]

2700. I'm giving it to you a thousand.

[Rich Voss]

And it's put together and you wrote it once.

[Bobby Kelly]

One time.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

One time.

[Rich Voss]

So it's used.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's used, it's used.

[Rich Voss]

So, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So that's why I knocked it down to a thousand.

[Rich Voss]

Now give it to me. Let me have it as a friend. Stop drinking on the air. It's disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen, let me explain something. And I'm not bringing up stuff. Yeah, there's stuff I was going to sell that I've given to you and you've given me nothing.

[Rich Voss]

That's not true. I've given you stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? And they. Everything you give me, there's a price.

[Rich Voss]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me explain that. When you give something and there's a price I'm paying.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Oh, you did give me something that was for free.

[Rich Voss]

What was that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Which I never use. Some kind of ear things that you hook up to your phone during a podcast or something. Whatever they were, they were some out of date thing, but they were. If you use them, they were good at the time. Whatever it was, was. I never used. I don't know.

[Rich Voss]

Are you okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Rich Voss]

I mean, this is grossing me out. I can't imagine. The listeners are sitting there going, what

[Bobby Kelly]

the is happening, listener?

[Rich Voss]

I can't imagine that guy. When you stop touching your microphone.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I. Listen, we're friends.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

The hat I gave you, do you ever wear that? Nice. Beautiful. That hat's worth a lot of money. That's you gave me.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, okay. Here's the thing with the hat. You gave me a fedora, a beautiful,

[Bobby Kelly]

brand new, worth a couple hundred.

[Rich Voss]

The Problem is I don't play black rooms, so I don't have an opportunity to wear it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You could wear that fedora.

[Rich Voss]

Where. Where could I wear.

[Bobby Kelly]

Easter.

[Rich Voss]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

When you go play cards on Easter. Go play cards.

[Rich Voss]

I don't play cards.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't play cards with your. With your.

[Rich Voss]

With your man friends?

[Bobby Kelly]

With your Tulsa buddies? You don't do talks anymore with your buddies anymore up there in cigar?

[Rich Voss]

I was there last night. Night.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, cool.

[Rich Voss]

I went last night.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a good place to wear that hat.

[Rich Voss]

No, it's not. It's going to smell like smoke. Whatever. You gave me a nice hat. You did give me. I do like the hat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Rich Voss]

But I just don't have an opportunity to wear a fedora.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Rich Voss]

Because it's not 1952.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wear fedoras all the time.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, but you're at 70.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sick. I'll be 69.

[Rich Voss]

I know. It's crazy in June. I know. God bless you. You look great for 69.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not an MRI.

[Jacob]

Can I. I don't want to interrupt, but you were. You kept. Both of you. Bringing up gadgets. And when the Iran war broke out.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, God.

[Jacob]

I've started watching all these prepper videos.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Everyone started prepping.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have all that stuff.

[Jacob]

That's what I was going to ask. You guys do prepping stuff?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, but I do it. I do it with stuff that was made, like this year he does it and all his stuff says Marlboro on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I got a ton of good stuff. Why would you.

[Jacob]

But you watch the videos and like, one guy will say, you're a jerk off if you buy this. Everyone's the real. The real deal on YouTube.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

He will put down all the other prepping stuff that somebody else bought.

[Rich Voss]

All.

[Bobby Kelly]

All I have.

[Rich Voss]

If you buy this is all you need for prepping. I have. I have three water filters, one for each of us that you could just dip into a dirty puddle and it'll be drinkable.

[Bobby Kelly]

Water. I got that.

[Rich Voss]

Right? I have a couple water straws. Right? Yeah. And I have freeze dried food.

[Bobby Kelly]

Food. I don't have that.

[Jacob]

What about medical supplies?

[Rich Voss]

I have a huge first aid kit.

[Bobby Kelly]

See?

[Jacob]

What did you. And did you go to the dog?

[Rich Voss]

And I have. I have guns.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

In Hampshire.

[Jacob]

Right.

[Rich Voss]

And I have.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have hamsters.

[Rich Voss]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Rich Voss]

What do you need hamsters for?

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought you said you have guns

[Rich Voss]

in hamsters in New Hampshire.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Jacob]

No, but like, one guy said you're all these other suckers, they're going to the first aid section aisle to buy all that stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's.

[Jacob]

Go to the dog aisle, the pet aisle, and buy the ointment. Antibacterial ointment for dogs. Same as human. You get one that'll last for you you for 10 years. It's that type of prepping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have that guy?

[Jacob]

Next level prepping.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have Vaseline and cotton balls to start fire?

[Rich Voss]

Goddamn right I do.

[Jacob]

That's on the list.

[Rich Voss]

I just have Vaseline wrestling and combo. That's all I'm doing now. If the world ends, I'm just jerking off until I die. I'm gonna goon.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have all kinds of. I, I know. I have a, a, a saw. That's a chain.

[Rich Voss]

I'm pretty sure you have a chainsaw thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not a chainsaw. It's a chain. That's a saw.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, it's a chainsaw chain.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

With handles on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, I have that. I have all hatchets, knives, you know, just stuff in my car, in my backpacks.

[Rich Voss]

But I, I actually use my stuff though. Like, I'm taking Max primitive camp.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would like to go with you camping.

[Rich Voss]

I'm going, I'm going June 5th. You want, want to go?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'm just getting back.

[Jacob]

From where Donnie Dust.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to talk about it, but I'll let you know.

[Rich Voss]

Okay. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

Are you doing Donnie Dust camping where you have to make your own.

[Rich Voss]

Going up into the woods.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't have a snake guards for your feet.

[Rich Voss]

I'm sorry, what did you just say to me?

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't have snake guards to put on your shins and around your legs. I have snake art. Why? So you don't get bit in the legs as you're walking through to. As you're walking through the woods.

[Rich Voss]

I'm walking on a trail. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not walking out in the desert.

[Bobby Kelly]

It doesn't hurt to have snake.

[Rich Voss]

It does hurt my self esteem.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it doesn't.

[Rich Voss]

When I'm going up the trail walking by other hikers with snake guards.

[Bobby Kelly]

Put them under your pants.

[Rich Voss]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have pants.

[Rich Voss]

I'm gonna wear shorts when I hike.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, tick village.

[Rich Voss]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Kelly]

Go ahead, wear shorts, get ticks. You wear long pants and tuck them into your socks. There's no way ticks don't crawl up your legs.

[Jacob]

The heart of tick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bonnie's calling.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, God, no. God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hello?

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Do you want to call me?

[Bobby Kelly]

About what?

[Rich Voss]

She's on Air oh, say she's on air.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Bonnie, you're on air.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Oh, my God. Is that what you're calling that?

[Rich Voss]

Bonnie. Bonnie. See, Bonnie's always negative. She's the most negative. She never. You never get Happy body. You always get. Oh, this what it is. Bonnie. I want to. I want. Bonnie. The bike that he has. I want him to give it to me. And he won't give it to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's nuts. He wants me to give it to him.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Why wouldn't you?

[Bobby Kelly]

Why wouldn't I? One, I don't like him that much.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Two, I thought he was like your best friend.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's one of them. He's in my top three.

[Rich Voss]

I am.

[Bobby Kelly]

Him, Colin Norton, and sometimes Keith.

[Rich Voss]

You have Norton in there.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Bobby. One time we got in a fight, and I go. I go, just so you know exactly what to say to Bobby. And I told him, and he goes, I don't talk to Bobby about us.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. Do I ever bring up Bonnie with you all?

[Rich Voss]

Never.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

The looks that are going on right now, I'm sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen, Bobby. Bobby is. He wants everything free in life.

[Rich Voss]

Life. No.

[Bobby Kelly]

I gave him two sets of golf clubs. Two sets. I was going to sell them. When I said, you know what? Keep the money. Just take them. Two sets of golf clubs.

[Rich Voss]

That's not giving me. And I was gonna pay for it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I said, no. I said, I don't want the money.

[Rich Voss]

Keep them. But that's on you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're right.

[Rich Voss]

I gave him. That was great.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you.

[Rich Voss]

What do you want from me? And I'll give it to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Give him the money.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

We were gonna give them for the other. For the golf club.

[Rich Voss]

500 bucks. I'll give you 500 bucks. He wants. Wants market price for the bike.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, the bike's worth 2700. I'm giving it to him for a thousand.

[Rich Voss]

It's three.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

You paid a lot of money for that bike, right, Rich?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, exactly, Bonnie. Exactly. It was a gift.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

Just give me the bike.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

If you're not going to use a gift, you should give it.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, this is why. This is why we decided you didn't come in with me. Because whatever he does, you're going to team up and take his side. You forgot.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

I forgot. Let me try again. Let me start again. Let me start again. Okay, hang on. Ask me like I didn't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What should I do with that bike? Should I sell it or.

[Rich Voss]

Give it to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, sell it. Sell it.

[Rich Voss]

But, Bonnie, shouldn't you. Bonnie, shouldn't you give it to me, Bonnie. Shouldn't he give it to me for free?

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

No, no, you should have to buy it market price.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Rich Voss]

All right, well, there you go.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Sorry I got a side with my husband on this one.

[Rich Voss]

You know what? I. I never understood why you guys slept in separate rooms. I do now.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's because I snore.

[Rich Voss]

It's not because you snore. It's because you're. You breathe.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Wow. He did get really angry when you said no. So now I think you're doing the right thing, Rich.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

I didn't know he was going to be, like, vindictive and mean about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no. The problem is I realized neither one

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

of you knows what vindict. Vindictive means.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Okay,

[Bobby Kelly]

no, wait. Stop.

[Rich Voss]

Let it tell us what it means.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know what it means.

[Rich Voss]

What does it mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

It means to be mean and come back at you. Vindictive.

[Rich Voss]

Vindictive.

[Bobby Kelly]

Vindictive.

[Rich Voss]

You said Van.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Well, Van, dictive is a way to describe vindictive, Bobby. You're right on this one, Rich.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Rich Voss]

God, I like your wife so much better. Better

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

than whoever this is, you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, she's. She's. She's on fire. Her career is on fire.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, I know. So give me the bike. You don't need to make money.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

All right. Say goodbye to Bonnie. Let's go.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

You guys want to ask me something else?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Anything else?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, I do stuff.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Does it always got to be about Rich? Do we always have to center the.

[Rich Voss]

Bonnie. Bonnie.

[Bobby Kelly]

How. What? You're.

[Rich Voss]

You're not funny anymore, Rich.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'm not hanging up on my wife.

[Rich Voss]

That would have been hilarious.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

I almost cried. I almost cried.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you going to. Are you going to LA for any meetings?

[Rich Voss]

Can you not have a regular conversation on the air?

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you talking about?

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, you're having a conversation with your wife. Yeah. You're the worst.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want her to bring up on

[Rich Voss]

your way home, honey. All right, we're gonna take a break. Break.

[Bobby Kelly]

See you later, buddy.

[Rich Voss]

I love you. I'll see you later.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like you.

[Rich Voss]

God, Rich, you know what? Keep the bike. I don't want it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good.

[Rich Voss]

And I'm going to buy you a bunch of gifts, and I'm just going to send them to you. No, I want your address. I'm just going to start sending you gifts for nothing. Because. Because giving. You know what giving is?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What I do with you all the time.

[Rich Voss]

It's not what you do. Yeah, no. You nickel and dime me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I Don't. It all started with the phone and the recording quarter that you walked up and. And the iPad. You got a new iPad and you stiffed me for the old one. And I never let it go.

[Rich Voss]

I really did.

[Bobby Kelly]

And your camera.

[Rich Voss]

And you're a camera. You're a sucker. What a dummy. He paid 500 for an old iPad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was.

[Rich Voss]

It was like the first iPad ever. There was iPad4 out and he paid 500 bucks. He could have got a new one at Walmart for 4.99.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's okay. I don't take advantage of my. But yet, yes, I live and learn.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, you do. You live and learn and so do we. Rich Voss, he's going to be at the Grand Escondido, California May 8th. And the funny bow in St. Louis the 15th.

[Bobby Kelly]

May 8th and 9th, this Friday, Saturday.

[Rich Voss]

There's no 9th. I only read what. I only read exactly what she brings up there. May 8th and 9th and then the funny bone. May. May 5th, 15th and 16th.

[Bobby Kelly]

Friday, Saturday. No.

[Rich Voss]

16 up there. I mean this is not me. This is all on producer Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not her fault.

[Rich Voss]

I think she's trying to throw me under the bus because Jay's gone.

[Christine]

She doesn't want me to fault.

[Rich Voss]

He has. He still has a website too. It's unbelievable. Check out richvoss.com for all his stuff. We got another guest coming in. Alan Kerragu. No, you're staying, you dummy. What's wrong with your self esteem?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing. I was hoping.

[Rich Voss]

Make sure you check out Punch up Live. I'm going to be in Cleveland, Boston. I'm going to be in town this weekend, but I can't tell you why. But next week, weekend after that, I'll be In Cleveland the 15th and 16th and then Stanford, Connecticut May 21st, one show Punch Up Dot Live. Robert Kelly. And Jay is out right now doing Story wars in la. Make sure you check him out this week. He's got a lot of stuff. Big. Big J is going to be big time next week. I'm telling you, he's going to.

[Bobby Kelly]

To kill.

[Rich Voss]

He's. Well, relax, we didn't tell anybody that yet. Go to bigjcomedy.com and we'll be right back. It's the bonfire. I've always liked men. I do. I like men. Put your headphones on, Voss, so you can hear all lose magic. All the loose magic. What's up everybody?

[Bobby Kelly]

We're back.

[Rich Voss]

It's the bonfire.

[Jacob]

I forgot magic.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, Eleanor. Claycore. Cleg Clegg.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Why the hell would you do that.

[Rich Voss]

I know.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Seriously, I'm just joking. What kind of person.

[Rich Voss]

I'm sorry. Do I have a story about her, too? Eleanor Kerrigan is here. One of my favorite people wouldn't do this show. She can't. I don't think she's alive.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh,

[Rich Voss]

and of course, the legend Rich Voss is here in studio. Eleanor. No. You're one of my favorites. Where did we meet?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I don't remember.

[Rich Voss]

Did you do a guest spot or something? No, we met on the Cross cruise. I remember.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

No, we met before.

[Rich Voss]

We met on the.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

We never met before that.

[Rich Voss]

Never met before that. We met at the Joker's cruise.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Impractical jokers cruise.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but I.

[Rich Voss]

In the food room. You and your sister.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yeah, my sister's out of control with her condiments in her handbag like a kook.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, I love your sister.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

She was like, you need salt. She had salt. She need Tabasco. She had a whole thing, like a. It was so sick. Bobby's like, I'll take the salt.

[Rich Voss]

I needed salt. Why go up and get it.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I think she. She went to see you at. What the hell is it called? Soul Joel's. When it was outside.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

With my brother Johnny.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

And she brought you salt?

[Rich Voss]

She did.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

She was so excited.

[Rich Voss]

I love your sister. She bought me little packets of salt.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

She's funny.

[Rich Voss]

What?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Because she wants his high blood pressure up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'll tell you. So I was supposed to do the room at the Claridge. So right now, no, it was over. So they. So Dice calls me and says, hey, listen, I'm taking you.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, no, just go with it.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Sorry, I didn't realize he was in a story while we weren't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, no, no, you're done talking about Saul.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, listen, I get. I'm telling you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, hold on.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

The salt of the earth wants to speak.

[Rich Voss]

Eleanor, he's never been diagnosed. He's ADHD and a smidge autism. And I'm just putting it together.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't insult autistic people like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I remember when I met Ellen, she bought me pack. Ellen, Eleanor. Let me pat you.

[Rich Voss]

Ellen Cleghorn and Ellen.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

You guys just want me to be a dyke.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, I. Oh, shoot.

[Rich Voss]

You can say it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Say that.

[Rich Voss]

You can't. I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You what? No one's listening.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Oh, good.

[Rich Voss]

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Wait.

[Rich Voss]

I'm here to Tickets. We have to go to the. This commercial. We have to go to the sensor. Can we say it?

[Jacob]

I think that's okay.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, great.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Thank you so much. Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hold on.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Richard has a riveting story.

[Rich Voss]

You can't say captain. No, I'm kidding.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't come after me.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I know. I'm sorry. I'm just angry. I. I'm stuck in traffic.

[Jacob]

I apologize.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I'm ready to kill somebody.

[Rich Voss]

Can I tell you right now? You know, I think you have the best hair in the business.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Oh, thank you. Really on my nerves.

[Rich Voss]

You don't think her hair is the. I mean, Christine. Am I crazy?

[Christine]

No.

[Jacob]

Great hair.

[Rich Voss]

You have. You have, like. You have Gen X hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't see.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Oh, wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have, like.

[Rich Voss]

You have, like, Charlie's Angel, Gen XY going. Yeah. You have Charlie's Angels 3 Gen X, right? Yeah, you are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I'll be dead within the hour.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you morphing into Howie Mandel?

[Rich Voss]

I take that as a compliment. You called me a pincushion, now I'm thin. I'll take it as a compliment.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Oh, Jesus.

[Rich Voss]

You know, this is what. Here's what. I don't know. This is why. This is what bugs me about Rich.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everything. No, no.

[Rich Voss]

I love a lot of things about you, okay? You're one of my closest friends.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

You're one of the sweetest guys ever. You're cheap. But that's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you crazy?

[Rich Voss]

I just want to see.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a high roller. That's.

[Rich Voss]

That has nothing to do with. That's gambling.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Are you judging him on his chains or.

[Rich Voss]

No, it's not. I don't. I don't mind the chains. I don't mind the watch. I don't mind the bracelet. I just.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

A jeweler guy.

[Rich Voss]

I don't like guys who wear rings. I don't think men should wear rings. I think they're just silly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wear one around your neck. Sorry.

[Rich Voss]

We'll just let that sit there, okay? I mean, we'll let your anger sit there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have no anger. I let go and let. God.

[Rich Voss]

I just don't. Like a raven let live.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I'm not. I'm not a ring per. I'm not a jewelry person. I like.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's true.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

That's true, too. You guys. You guys are big watch guys, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to.

[Rich Voss]

I have. I have. I have a watch collection. And that's all I wear. I do. I don't even wear wedding. I got Dawn's name tattooed on my finger. I don't even wear wedding.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where's your watch tonight?

[Rich Voss]

I forgot it on the counter. I'm bumming. Oh, yeah. But I. I have counter on my counter in My kitchen.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Oh, thank God.

[Rich Voss]

I have a little island.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I'm sorry. Bragging about your.

[Rich Voss]

I have an island.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Little creepy. I have an. As a granite.

[Rich Voss]

Like, what happened is my heated floors in the bathroom sometimes take me away and I forget things.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

You know, but my shower.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Walking on coals all day.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I gotta get my pool open. This buddy. Go ahead.

[Rich Voss]

Can you do it after the show?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

What does that mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

The pool. My in ground pool. So you have to have it open.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I like how you say in ground.

[Rich Voss]

In ground.

[Bobby Kelly]

I really call it. I. I call it built in. And most people call it in ground. But I grew up calling built in pool like a.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

We called it rich. Yeah, you did. Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Well, you go up in Philly, right?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yeah, South Philly. So you had a pool? Pool was. I mean, I ran a pool. I ran a public pool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your house is connected.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yes. My mom still lives in the same house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that like a row home?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's kind of cool, huh?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

It's the best.

[Bobby Kelly]

She knew everybody on the block.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Sure. You take a shower with your neighbor, you just. You can feel each other up through the wall.

[Rich Voss]

That's cool. You think a row home is cool?

[Bobby Kelly]

It is. Back then.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Because why not now?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's because then. Now you're poor.

[Rich Voss]

But back then, still poor.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

Still.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Still hanging on.

[Bobby Kelly]

But back then when a lot of immigrants came over, when a lot Italians were in one section. Irish.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Sure. In Philly, we're still doing that. We're still segregating over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's good.

[Rich Voss]

Voss calls that the good old days.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

I call that segregation every time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. See how far he is over there?

[Rich Voss]

Just pointed the black glue in the corner. He's not in the corner because we make him sit there. It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's his.

[Rich Voss]

That's his office space.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I did the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bonnie (Bobby's wife)]

I didn't notice.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

He disappeared. I didn't know where you went. I thought they kicked you out while we were. So that's up. Messed up.

[Rich Voss]

You can swear. I don't know what I'm radio. You're good.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Like I know what's happening.

[Rich Voss]

I. I just don't. I just. The fact that he wears four rings is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have five. One. The diamonds are loose.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

If he had a body count, would it be okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

You mean if he was a rapper or.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Yeah. Or killed someone.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Be fine with that on stage every time.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, yeah. So you kill thousands of people.

[Bobby Kelly]

A.

[Rich Voss]

She said thousands. Because it's not a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not at all. She's trying to sell Tickets in Point

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Pleasant, New Jersey, if you're listening.

[Rich Voss]

Ellen. Ellen, Craig Cleghorn and Eleanor.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Please don't Google. They're gonna google Ellen Cleghorn, Ellen DeGeneres and Nancy Kerrigan. No one's gonna come.

[Rich Voss]

My show, Eleanor is going to be at Uncle Vinnie's this week at Friday and Saturday.

[Bobby Kelly]

So much fun because it is a great, great room to do crowd work and around. It's just so much fun. I love doing that room.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I did my only album there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

During the pandemic. Ladylike.

[Rich Voss]

Didn't you do that with my company? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Thanks, Bobby, for remembering.

[Rich Voss]

Well, I actually got you the special.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

I appreciate it.

[Rich Voss]

I was like, you got to see this girl because she's the best.

[Eleanor Kerrigan]

Check this out. Hoe out.

[Rich Voss]

Check that hoe out.

[Coop Sleep Goods Announcer]

You ever wake up at like 3am and your bed is just warm for no reason? Like, suddenly you're flipping your pillow, rotating like a rotisserie chicken, trying to find one cool spot that disappears immediately. At that point, you've kicked off the covers, adjusted the fan, maybe accepted your fate. That's why Coop Sleep Goods made their cooling collection designed to stay cool all night, not just for the first five minutes. And right now it's 20% off off, so you can retire the whole flip the pillow 47 times routine. Coop's pillows are adjustable, breathable, and made to help keep things cool while you sleep. Plus, they have sheets and toppers so your whole setup can chill out. If your bed's been running a little warm, this is your moment. Go to coopsleepgoods.com comedy. That's coopsleepgoods.com Comedy and get 20% off.

[OpportunityAtWork Announcer]

Real talent is defined by what people can do, not where they learn to do it. So by stopping at the education section of a resident resume that you might throw away the perfect hire skills first. Hiring helps you see talent others miss, like more than 70 million stars skilled through alternative routes, let their story unfold and gain a competitive advantage. Because hiring managers who start with skills are 60% more likely to find a successful hire. Hire skills first. Learn [e-mail] brought to you by OpportunityAtWork and the Ad Council.