Freestyle Dancing

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Freestyle Dancing

Date: April 22, 2026

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Main Theme and Overview

This episode of The Bonfire sees Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly riffing with their signature blunt humor about everything from medical science’s failure to produce functional penile enhancements to the shifting comedy radio landscape at SiriusXM—especially the launch of Sebastian Maniscalco's new comedy channel. Along the way, they tackle themes of aging in the comedy world, contract politics, their place amid shifting radio empires, and, of course, freestyle dancing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Great Penis Enhancement Debate (01:13 – 07:45)

• Penis Surgery Technology:
  Jay and Bobby open the show with a no-holds-barred conversation about the limitations of current genital enhancement surgeries compared to other body modification procedures like hair transplants, veneers, and breast augmentation.

  • They joke about how science can make a vagina, but “can't make a beautiful dick yet” (02:24).
  • They muse that there just isn’t enough demand (or bravery) for men to risk their existing anatomy for experimental surgical procedures. The risk of losing function is “too much risk vs. reward” (05:21).

• Sacrifice for Progress:
  Kelly suggests that older, less sexually active men could volunteer as guinea pigs for future generations:
  “Maybe you step up, be in the forefront of this for the next generation, for the kids.” (06:09)

• Body Dysmorphia & Comedy:
  Both reflect on insecurities about body image in a candid and self-deprecating way.

  • Jay: "I really must have fucking body dysmorphia, dude, because I honest to God... I think that's how my dick looks." (08:23)

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2. Jokes & Taboo: How Far Is Too Far? (09:03 – 13:03)

• The hosts spiral into darker jokes involving “micro penises” and mock-shock at their own comedy, veering into purposely ‘cancelable’ territory—mocking the fear that out-of-context clips could haunt them if they ever become mega-famous.

  • Robert Kelly: “That's the one that's going to take us down.” (09:39)
  • Jay: “Once we get life changing money, eyes on the show, we're going to be a lot of trouble.” (09:55)

• They lampoon how easily cancel culture could bite them, suggesting SkankFest will only become more notorious when producers and on-air talent alike face mock accusations.

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3. SiriusXM Shakeups: The Era of Comedy Channels (14:05 – 27:03)

• Sebastian Maniscalco’s New Channel:
  Large chunk devoted to breaking the news—and gently mocking the format—of Sebastian Maniscalco taking over the old Raw Dog comedy channel.

  • Initial Reaction: “Sebastian took Raw. He's not raw!” (22:38)
  • The hosts bemoan how established shows keep getting replaced by bigger-name comedians, even if they don’t represent the broader stand-up scene.

• Comedy Career Politics:
  Jay and Bobby poke fun at the ever-changing pecking order in comedy radio, referencing how Dan Soder, Jim Florentine, Craig Gass, and others all vied for major slots (18:21).

  • Jay: “To me, being the number one guy is not my thing anymore. I'd be third mic on something that was like tons of money.” (17:59)
  • Kelly: “I took way less than that to do this.” (17:38)

• Rebranding Angst:
  They express empathy for Pete Correale, whose name is being sidelined despite years as Maniscalco’s co-host.

  • “If I was Pete, I would be irate... Launching April 28 as... the Sebastian Maniscalco show will feature Maniscalco alongside contributors like his longtime friend and comedian Pete Correale. It doesn't even sound like he's the co-host of the show.” (16:32)

• Insider Comedy Radio Sarcasm:
  They imagine corporate memos with jokes about being squeezed out, and speculate that Sebastian now “gets to pick what comedians are on the channel” (20:28), laughing about adapting their style—or even becoming "Italian"—to stay relevant.

  • Robert Kelly: “I'm gonna change all my jokes to Italian jokes and clean them up.” (23:54)

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4. The Art and Anxiety of Freestyle Dancing (47:03 – 56:13)

• Sebastian’s Freestyle Music Obsession:
  The segment pivots to the episode title when they riff on Sebastian Maniscalco’s genuine love for freestyle music from his Chicago club days, culminating in jokes about “dancing like that.”

  • Jay and Bobby listen, dance along, and vividly describe how this music connects Sebastian to his roots: "This is an Italian guy who still owns a lot of bottles of Drakkar." (48:05)

• Bobby's Dance Floor Legacy:
  Robert Kelly demonstrates “the old moves,” closing his eyes and reliving dance floor glories.

  • “You dance by yourself at first, but one of the girls saw you dancing. Then they come out, and then they surround you.” (50:34)
  • Jay is convinced Bobby is delusional: “That’s not how it would have worked out for me for sure.” (50:41)

• Jay Tries to Dance:
  Bobby cajoles Jay into dancing, both wrestling with the vulnerability and discomfort of letting loose in front of others.

  • “That felt as bad as watching my old comedy.” (54:25)
  • Christine: “He's like dancing from his soul.” (54:11)

• Christine’s Solitary Dancing:
  Christine comments that dance parties occasionally break out at home (55:01), though never on film, to Jay’s chagrin.

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5. Life and Gossip at SiriusXM (27:06 – 56:47)

• Channel Realignments:
  Hosts discuss other personalities getting their own channels (Kevin Hart, Call Her Daddy, etc.) and express both amusement and irritation at being perennial underdogs.

  • “Can we have a... How long you been here?... 12 years... 10 years... 11 years...” (26:22–26:29)

• Role-Playing, Impressions, and Comedy Bits:
  Extended improv imagining what the new Sebastian channel will sound like, from radio IDs to gags about Italian stereotypes, mustaches, and “stirring the sauce.”

  • Robert (as Italian comic): “Let me ask you one question. Gravy or sauce?” (23:22)
  • Jay: "If your ma didn't kiss you on the mouth till you're 15, you're not Italian." (23:27)

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Jay on risk with cosmetic enhancement:
  “If I fuck up my dick because I tried to do something, now my dick is also fucked up in the same dumb size it was. It's too much risk vs. reward.” (05:21)

• Robert on the grind of comedy careers:
  “They have a homegrown show here with very talented people, but they really are just keep going out trying to find someone else. They want someone else.” (19:39)

• Jay on shifting priorities:
  “Being the number one guy is not my thing anymore. I'd be third mic on something that was like tons of money. I'm like, yeah, sure, who gives a shit?” (17:59)

• On the new Sebastian channel:
  “Launching April 28 as the channel's flagship program, the Sebastian Maniscalco show will feature Maniscalco alongside contributors like his longtime friend and comedian Pete Correale. It doesn't even sound like he's the co-host of the show.” (16:32)

• Freestyle Dancing Realization:
  “You dance by yourself at first, but one of the girls saw you dancing. Then they come out, and then they surround you.” (50:34)
  “I believe dance is inside of you... and I believe you got to let it out.” (50:45)

• Jay on dancing:
  “I really hate. You just bullied me into doing the thing you wanted to do. That felt as bad as watching my old comedy.” (54:25)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Penis Enhancement Debate: 01:13 – 07:45
• Jokes & Taboo/Cancel Culture: 09:03 – 13:03
• Sebastian Channel/Comedy Radio Politics: 14:05 – 27:03
• Freestyle Dancing & Music: 47:03 – 56:13
• Channel Realignments/Life at SiriusXM: 27:06 – 47:03
• Producer Banter & Crew Loyalty: 37:24 – 41:44

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Tone & Style

• True to The Bonfire’s signature, the episode is raw, irreverent, and packed with inside jokes, relentless ball-busting, and meta-humor about their own careers.
• The hosts’ self-aware banter about the politics of comedy, their aging bodies, and their struggle to stand out in a rapidly corporatizing media landscape keeps the episode both hilarious and relatable.
• Frequent role-play, impressions, and running gags (‘Stir the Sauce’, ‘Gravy or Sauce?’) amplify the playful vibe.

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Summary

Freestyle Dancing is classic Bonfire: two veteran comics shooting the shit about everything from the science of getting a bigger member to the realities of moving through a ruthlessly commercialized comedy world, with plenty of dance breaks and gonzo improv. For listeners curious about SiriusXM’s behind-the-scenes, the politics of stand-up media—and the fragile male ego—this episode offers unfiltered insight, plus a hearty helping of laughter in the face of showbiz absurdity.

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Notable, too: If you haven’t heard Big Jay Oakerson attempt to be “crystal clean” for a corporate-friendly set, or Robert Kelly try to coax him into a dance battle, you’re missing out on some top-tier Bonfire energy.

Transcript

[Jay Oakerson]

Neighborhood.

[Doug]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Doug]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Doug]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Liberty. Liberty.

[Robert Kelly]

Liberty.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Liberty. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium

[Christine]

Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[Commercial Announcer]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate, first 3 months only, then full price plan options available. Fees, extra fee, full [e-mail]

[Robert Kelly]

and now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Damn, dude. Why do I not have an enormous dick?

[Robert Kelly]

Why do you not have a band?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just. I should have a. Just a. Forget that, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

You should quit comedy, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With that voice, I should be swinging a hammer.

[Robert Kelly]

If you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lou agrees. He agrees so much he's shaking the camera, nodding.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have. Would you buy a big dick if you could?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tomorrow. Cartoonishly big. It would make me understand why women in porn do dumb shit where they're like, I'm gonna get quadruple fucking K tits. And they're like this. And they're a burden their whole life. Give me the burden with it. I'll say, tim Dylan, I want to take this to Tim Dillon's. Thought that made me laugh so much about when people are saying Ozempic and Manjar and all these things are dangerous and scary and we don't know the thing. He goes, well, I've already done it this way. I've already done it. I've done life the fat way. So you know what? Let's see how we can get to this thin way. However we got to get there. You know what I mean? It's the same thing. Like, I've done life with this fucking regular old pud. Now let's do the one. I want to have a girl be like, I'm sorry, I'll jerk you off but you can't put that in me. I'll go, yeah, I get that. Sometimes it's really a massive dick. You're right.

[Robert Kelly]

Isn't it weird that they can make a vagina, but they can't. They didn't put enough effort. There wasn't enough people trying to go the other way to put it. Make a fucking massive, beautiful dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I assume the dicks they make on a woman becoming a man, I assume it's gnarly looking.

[Robert Kelly]

It's Frankenstein.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I assume it's like if a baby bird died, like a week ago, it would look like that. Like, early decay. Baby bird carcass is what I think. I've never seen one, but I have to assume that's what it would look like. Have they ever showed. Have we ever looked at.

[Jay Oakerson]

We had.

[Robert Kelly]

We have. We looked it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

It looks like it's Frankenstein. Ish.

[Christine]

It's not there yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fucking.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not there. It still looks like, you know, it looks like. It looks like an old, old stocking for Christmas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that looks like. It looks like a homemade leather case for a knife.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah, it does. It looks like a custom knife case.

[Christine]

I mean. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on.

[Christine]

Just not.

[Robert Kelly]

Why can't you, if you're gonna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I was saying, my point on this being. Okay, I get it. My point was made.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My point was. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to go that far.

[Robert Kelly]

What I just saw, I'm never gonna unsee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My point was they can't. They can't make a dick yet.

[Robert Kelly]

No, they can't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But they also can't make a pussy that good either for how bad the pussy is. I'm not blown away. They can't do the dick. What you thought was. What you thought by now was there would be a way to really functionally, easily make your dick bigger.

[Robert Kelly]

I think that if they. If there was more people that wanted it look, hair, they. They just did wigs for years. Technology came in. They started. They were like, wait, a lot of guys. There's money to be made here. The money's. They don't understand how much money is the veneers. Nobody. People just got dentures now. People get brand new teeth, brand new lips, tits, everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kadai. Something. This is a good conversation, Bobby. This is really good. And you're making great points. Completely. The difference is, with those places you're talking about, people are willing to let go through links because they're not afraid so much of the situation that they're dealing with. So with hair, people will try getting parts of their back of their neck sliced off and then planted in the front of their head and have them individually plug little sprouts of hair in their head and do all kinds of crazy shit to ch your lips, your tits, even your ass. People, even when they go the tech. Listen, if one person, there is, there's one positive review out there of a person who's gotten dick bigging surgery out there. A guy who's gotten like, whether it be a pump or something, there's one positive review of it. If that wasn't the dick area, that would all be all it takes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but what I'm saying is this. In all these fields there was sacrifices made, right? There was shitty tits to begin with, shitty lips, shitty teeth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one's gonna give it their dick. You go, I'll at least take this. What if everything goes haywire? If you're bald and you're trying to get hair, if everything goes haywire, you're still bald. Like if you're like, if I fuck up my dick because I tried to do something, now my dick is also fucked up in the same dumb size it was. It's too much risk verse re.

[Robert Kelly]

There's guys out there that, it doesn't matter as much. I'm not saying get a young 20 year old who's got, you know, two, two decades worth of banging in his system. There's got. We, there's guys out there that we could step up to the plate that you're pretty much done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The micro penis though, will never be corrected. Okay, so can't be corrected. But I'm saying you're talking about just guys like, guys in the average dick range who are like, man, I really wish I had a fucking whopper to

[Robert Kelly]

whip out guys, average dick range who are kind of done with their banging years. Maybe you step up, be in the forefront of this for the next generation, for the kids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You say I'm guinea pig myself.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm not saying you, you made yourself in that genre. I still think you have a couple years of banging left.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no. Oh, I didn't say what you're saying,

[Robert Kelly]

but I think there's somebody, Some guys out there are like, look man, I'm done with this anyways. It's an average sized pekka. I'm kind of done with it. I'm gonna, Let me, let me do this. Make the mistakes on us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the older age will still make the decision to get hair and still get the decision to maybe do a facelift. All right, so ad here, you're not afraid of what the possible go wrong is. It's so much scary if you're like, if I lose my dick altogether, I damn. How much will I be spending my whole life going, I wish I just had my regular old dick back.

[Robert Kelly]

How about this? If you lose your dick, then you just get a vagina. There's like a backup plan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay?

[Robert Kelly]

There's a backup plan. So, hey, if things do go wrong, because we're trying to. We're trying to see if there's something here, and then if it does go wrong, we're going to just give you a vagina. You have vagina for the last 10 years of your life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is why we have these brainstorm sessions. Yes. This right here is the reason.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you have to do the work. You have to have failure to have success. If you, if you've ever listened to Sly Stallone, a hundred failures to get one success. So we got to get somebody to step at the plate to. That's got. Yeah, we're gonna fail at this, but we're gonna. We're gonna get there. Hair transplants now are amazing. Teeth are amazing. Vaginas are getting better. They're just neglecting the dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Full disclosure, audience. And I'm glad we have a buffer day in between. A lot of dick talk today.

[Robert Kelly]

Sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I. Listen, I. This, I think this conversation is fantastic. I love this. Christine, bring up pictures of micro penises. This. I feel like there's no room in a micro penis to do any work.

[Robert Kelly]

Take it off your thigh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have a dick. I feel like it was like some things should be able to be shoved into it and pulled out.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not that. Is that micro? That's not micro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I tell you something? If my dick would get as long when my dick's soft and I stretch it out, if my hard dick would be that long. Fantastic. Yeah, but my fucking putt, man. That might be the most me looking dick. Well, no, my dick's not three inches. That's crazy, man. I really must have fucking body dysmorphia, dude, because I honest to God, I was like, I think that's how my dick looks. Part of it. Yeah, I get. But I mean, that's. There's no way. That's nuts, dude. That's only three inch.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, you're bringing up children's penises. Can you.

[Christine]

No, that's a micro kidding.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is a medical condition, Bobby. People get.

[Christine]

Bring up children's penises.

[Robert Kelly]

There's no sound in the Videos.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, hang on, Bobby. I'm looking at the video. At the picture. Yeah, you like, you like Uncle J looking at it? You like Uncle J looking at it?

[Robert Kelly]

This is getting crazy. Stop, stop, stop. Take that off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want that little boy to come in my face.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

What did you just say?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what the fuck I just said.

[Robert Kelly]

I did not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I said I want that little boy to come in my face. The hit song by DJ Lou Roy. Little boy to come in. Little boy to come in my face. I want that little boy to come in my face.

[Robert Kelly]

I sure do. That's the one that's going to take us down.

[Christine]

Yeah, so weird.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the one that's. The video is going to come up after you blow up and all the stuff you're doing and you become. You're on like a hit movie and you got like a, like some type of three picture deal. That's the one that's going to come up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Once we get life changing money, eyes on the show, we're going to be a lot of trouble.

[Producer]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, I raped and those children.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, that's just one of our producers who said that. That's not even us.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not even.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not even on air talent.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody's done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everyone's gonna get a taste. It's probably gonna make Skank Fest a lot cooler though, that like one of the owners now is actually in more trouble than Lewis has ever been in for the terrible racist thing she said.

[Christine]

Well, I don't think they're going to talk about the child rape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably not.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, not now.

[Christine]

Probably they don't like to talk about it.

[Robert Kelly]

They don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one loves talking about it.

[Robert Kelly]

Really. Nobody does.

[Christine]

Nobody wants to.

[Robert Kelly]

Nobody does.

[Christine]

Why are we not talking about the child rape?

[Robert Kelly]

We're not going to talk about it. Christine. Three inches.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A micro penis.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. That's a question that came out.

[Christine]

I don't know. It's a small one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, when you looked up micropenis, that's what came up. I thought microp. I've seen micro penises where it's like an actual like. No, not just that, but it's like a little. It looks like when a. You know when a kid is born without a hand but that still has little. Like they believed like a hand was going to grow and it never did. And it never did. So it looks like skin tags. Yeah, I've seen people have like the micropenis where it's like a skin tag sticking out of their fucking body.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, there's different levels, but I'm saying,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wonder what the. The. Yeah, what does it say? There's got to be a thing, you know, there's got to be a.

[Christine]

A range levels of micro.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, no, I'd say it's probably micro and then just a small. Right, exactly. That's fucking. That's.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but that could be a grower. That could be a grower, not a shower.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It definitely is.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean. Well, first of all, I don't think. Oh, is that real? That's not real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I thought it was coming.

[Robert Kelly]

I think that's. Is that fake?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, we're watching here is a micropenis. All right, well, hang on a second.

[Christine]

That got big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, it did get big.

[Robert Kelly]

That got nice and big.

[Christine]

I think it's AI.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That guy had a fine penis.

[Robert Kelly]

I think that was AI. Those testicles didn't move too well.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We always want to believe it's AI, don't we? I. I've tried to tell myself that Black Dick was AI since the 90s.

[Robert Kelly]

It is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And everyone's like, AI is not a thing yet. I go, you'll see what I mean. I can't be real.

[Robert Kelly]

I think they're alien penises. I think black people are aliens.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And they're from a different planet called Big Dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not a micro penis. That's got some stuff that's a fucking micro penis. And I'm telling you, on Bert Kreischer's cruise, dude, two guys pulled out dicks that were just like that. I just had the exact same emotional reaction when I saw it. I go, stop taking pictures.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the Asian guy from Hangover has

[Big Jay Oakerson]

a micropedis that's making my wiener crawl up in my body.

[Robert Kelly]

It's making mine crawl out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got to get it back. Yeah, that's regular, regular, micro, micro, micro. Well, regular regular, regular, micro, regular, regular and a micro

[Robert Kelly]

micro. He used to be fat, though, because he has the. The underneath the skin that never hasn't seen sunlight in 10 years.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, it's tender. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's been a fat roll for all of his life.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, boy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And look at it. Completely shading his weird colored dick and balls.

[Robert Kelly]

Gross.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is gross. Somehow grosser than wanting that little boy to comb my face. Song somehow. Where's my camera? I want that little boy to come in my face. I want that little boy to come in my face.

[Doug]

Don't hang your shit on me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If we could tell Paco with that, because I'd like to Work on a video for the song. And we just did the thing they do, like when people show up for the rap video shoot and they just, like, sing along to a boombox with it. So they just have that footage of them.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When they do this song. We just did that.

[Robert Kelly]

We did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We just did.

[Robert Kelly]

I think we nailed it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I think there'll be other times when we bring it up again. We'll maybe get it from being a little more animated a little bit. But that's when Paco's here and we know the osmos are following the right thing. I'm pretty sure it's just filming my diet Dr. Pepper couldn't get it to move and find me.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not on. It's not on the mode. He didn't put it on the mode.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is not on the mode.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not on a gimbal mode.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. I did. See, we have to give a big congratulations to comedian Sebastian Maniscalco getting his own channel at Siriusx.

[Robert Kelly]

Yay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. And a show. And a new show.

[Robert Kelly]

He's got a new show. What is it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the show gonna be eggplanting around?

[Producer]

I believe it's called the Sebastian Man Excalco Show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, what was it? Too Many Mooks with Sebastian? What? Trying to think of fun names for our show.

[Producer]

Formerly the Pete and Sebastian show, now it's the Sebastian Show.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, they fired Pete?

[Christine]

No, still with Pete and Sebastian. It's being rebranded.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut the fuck up. Is that true?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's still Pete and Sebastian, but it's called the Sebastian Maniscalco Show.

[Producer]

That's right.

[Robert Kelly]

Is Pete still on it, though?

[Producer]

Yes.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, good. So he's thinking he's gonna take care of Pete for that financially, so that's very cool. Sebastian, what he's gonna do. And so Pete can't say the things I'm about to say. What the fuck? Dude, that is outl they built that show for a while. Listen, we first got into Sirius xm. They. They were fucking. They were all about Dan and they thought I was a problem for sure. So they offered the thing and they were like, well, the whole reason they wanted to do it was because they heard our tape, our demo tape. And then when we came in, they just started going like. They were like, dan, Dan. And then they were like, yeah, we'll give you both little shows and maybe you'll cross. And we just kind of all were saying no to that.

[Robert Kelly]

They still did that till he left, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But our six Test shows were called the Dan Soder show with special guest Big J Okerson. Oh, and it was a tail tuck for me, but I ate it because I was like, well, when they see what we got, like, who gives a fuck? And it did. That's how it worked out. We did the six episodes. But I mean Pete Sebastian is set. That's in stone. That's been for years and years and years. I mean I was since lou was fucking 26 years.

[Robert Kelly]

They were on my network, my podcast network, Riot cast.

[Producer]

I was with them the whole time

[Robert Kelly]

when they had hair. Yeah, it was the Pete and Sebastian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was fresh off of filming American History X.

[Robert Kelly]

It was Pete and Sebastian, right? It was Pete first and Sebastian. Now it's just Sebastian rebranded. Not even with Pete Corelli.

[Producer]

And the whole raw comedy is turning into Sebastian Comedy Radio. Especially Maniscalco Comedy Radio on SiriusXM 99.

[Robert Kelly]

You know Rich Voss is going to be snugging up to fucking Sebastian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my God. Do you hear how this is written this? If I was Pete, I would be irate. I'm talking like Pete now. Go back to that, please. Where was that?

[Robert Kelly]

That was a good Piccarelli.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Launching April 28 as the channel's flagship program, the Sebastian Maniscalco show will feature Maniscalco alongside contributors like his longtime friend and comedian Pete Corieli. It doesn't even sound like he's the co host of the show. It says that's plural. Well, saying like it'll be alongside Pete sometimes, sometimes somebody else.

[Robert Kelly]

It says that right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Celebrity drop ins and recurring segments. Oh my Christ.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, look at how nervous Lou is right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The show will take over the online feed of the Pete and Sebastian show.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, listen, I'm sure. Absolutely. And if I were Pete, I bet Sebastian has made sure Pete's doing just fine. You take care of your fellow Gyndolun paisans. Take care of each other. So I'm saying I understand. I get this completely. Do you think I wouldn't? I would take $3 million a year to go be white boy in corner at the Kevin Hart radio show.

[Robert Kelly]

I took way less than that to do this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah,

[Robert Kelly]

I took so much less to be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But this is the bonfire with Big Jokerson and Robert Kelly, right? I'm saying if it was like the Kevin Hart fucking.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't wait till the next contract where it's just the J Show. Not even just the J Show with contributors.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm so not sellable in some like sellout. Able in so many ways. And in so many ways, I am like, completely I. To me again, being like, the number one guy is not like my thing anymore. I'd be third mic on something that was like tons of money. I'm like, yeah, sure, who gives a shit?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what I'm saying? That's what that. That ego thing is kind of.

[Robert Kelly]

When Stern was replacing Artie and everybody was vying for that spot, I remember

[Big Jay Oakerson]

it was Craig Gass, Jim Florentine, I think.

[Robert Kelly]

Jim Florentine, Craig Gass, Fitzy, Greg Fitzsimmons.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So funny, man.

[Robert Kelly]

So funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was so good until they ended up giving him a show on the network.

[Robert Kelly]

He's hilarious. I mean, physically. Thank God it's radio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think it doesn't require any heavy lifting.

[Robert Kelly]

It looks like fucking Peaky Blinders with aids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He is Greg. So goddamn funny, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Fucking hilarious. Have you. So Pete must be. Pete wouldn't do this if he wasn't getting taken care of. I know Pete. Pete must be being treated right.

[Producer]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

First show premiered today.

[Producer]

No, next. No, not next April. April 20th.

[Christine]

April 28th.

[Robert Kelly]

Make sure you check it out. It's a funny show, but the Sebastian

[Producer]

Maniscalco radio channel launches middle of next week.

[Robert Kelly]

Does it say so is he picking all the comics that are on it, or is it just the change of the thing? Like, do you have. Is he gonna pick his people or

[Big Jay Oakerson]

is this the way honestly to spend the money that they won't give me and Bobby? You think? Do you think it's the way? Just go, hey, Sebastian, don't do anything. Let us just basically sell us your name for a bazillion dollars. And then so me and Bobby can look like jerk offs in contract negotiations.

[Robert Kelly]

It is hilarious that they have a homegrown show here with very talented people, but they really are just keep going out trying to find someone else. They want someone else. I can't wait till they have the Mike Suarez network. Did you turn it up?

[Christine]

I just turned it all the way down.

[Robert Kelly]

But you did turn the heat up.

[Christine]

Yeah, I turned it up before we left and then I didn't turn back down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought you. I thought you were doing a bit and you were gonna take off your shirt and say black people rule on your chest.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna take off my shirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know if you saw my face. The cameras had my face. I thought that was a bit. The whole time you go, I'm hot, you guys hot in here. I'm like, ah, shit. Fuck. Bobby's gonna nail me. Fucking Bobby's gonna Goddamn, get me, you son of a bitch. You.

[Producer]

To answer your question from before, Bob, yes, Sebastian has say on what comedians will be played on the channel. It's just. It's got his name on it, and then it's got regular comedy clips of stand up.

[Robert Kelly]

So he can say if you're not on it or you're on it, Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why would I do that?

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you do that, Sebastian? You're gonna do that? You're gonna do it when you could

[Big Jay Oakerson]

have not done that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Why you. Why did you have hot Choppalopolis with mashmallows?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My first impression of him was just

[Robert Kelly]

me and just have some anise like a man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me and Fenoy going back and forth about Sebastian Maniscalco being confused about parking lots. And he goes, wait, you're gonna make me pay to park? I don't know that line. Just so if I'm gonna park, I gotta bay. I already put the gas in the car. I drove here myself, and now I gotta pay you the bark.

[Producer]

What did he call him? Befuddled. Befuddled guinea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Befuddled guinea. Hey, why are we. What? By the way? Nate's a befuddled Southern boy. All their stories just basically ended like this. And then a thing happened. I was like, what? But Nate's just the other guy from the story. When Sebastian's like. When you go to someone's house and they want you to take off your shoes and, like, Nate's the guy who, like, just loves to take his shoes off, you know, he does do the opposite thing of Sebastian. He's the guy on the other side

[Robert Kelly]

of every story of Sebastian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

The black and white.

[Producer]

Do you want to hear what his channel will sound like?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know I do. Dude, please.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you do that? You're listening to Sebastian Maniscalco, Comedy Radio, channel 99. Oh, that. That's a nice touch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait. Shut the fuck up, dude. It's Raw Dog.

[Producer]

It's Raw Dog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Shut the fuck up.

[Producer]

It's old Raw Dog.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Christine]

Yeah, it's replacing Raw Dog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sebastian took Raw. He's not raw.

[Producer]

I made that, by the way. That's not real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, thank God. You fucking asshole.

[Producer]

Oh, you didn't know?

[Robert Kelly]

You're an asshole.

[Producer]

I thought it was obvious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I thought it was obvious hilar. But I was.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah, you piece of.

[Producer]

There's another one.

[Robert Kelly]

This is Sebastian Radio. Why would you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, oh, oh, damn, dude. I want to pitch like segments. All right? The next four hours is just about pizza.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, first Person to call in that says gnocchi correctly and can spell it gets a bag of raviolis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Plum tomatoes versus heirloom tomatoes.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me ask you one question. Gravy or sauce?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If your ma didn't kiss you on the mouth till you're 15, you're not Italian. Damn, my person's getting sharp.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you think he's going to approve of me and Bobby on the channel? Yeah, I was on Raw Dog. What if Sebastian is single handedly responsible for making me and Bobby Kelly lose Our income from SoundExchange from Raw Dog Channel plays 99.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a whole new bit act I'm working on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I talk to somebody about that? Who the fuck could I talk to?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna change all my jokes to Italian jokes and clean them up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I know you will too. You will sell out that hard right away. Quick, Total Italian.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, let me ask you a question.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's gonna get one of those. He's gonna get a twirly mustache.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, let me tell you something. You ever scare somebody so loud? It's like the Pista pants monster.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, it's me, Babito Cellini.

[Robert Kelly]

I scared somebody who's so bad. Got it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My grandmama told me back in the old country, she used to say this. Oh my Lord, yes. Bobby's gonna get so much sound exchange.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, Jay, why don't you just shut your face and join the party, huh? I mean, stop being an outsider is wrong with you, dude? You're a staz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I remember when wap used to mean Italians. Now it means wet ass. I say what's the difference?

[Robert Kelly]

What's the difference?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's an Italian but a wet ass anyway? Oh, oh, oh.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, you know, you know, Rich Voss is gonna go from Jewish to Italian real quick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want a heartbeat. You Jew.

[Jay Oakerson]

You exist out here because of me. Dude, I was coming to my wife's face, I had to stand over a face. I'm a legend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you can't get Voss around Sebastian. He's gonna just blatantly ask to go on the road with them. Yeah, I know it's gonna be. It's gotta be uncomfortable to have a 70 year old man ask you that. Hey, take me under your wing. What?

[Robert Kelly]

What's uncomfortable? Is your their age over exaggerating? He is 70.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, Take me under your wing. And realize that underneath that wing I'm gonna need a lot of naps.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have any soft shell crab? I'm gonna need some white teeth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can't tear Bread. Oh, son of a.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, Raw dog's gone. Now it's the Sebastian Channel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Why is it crazy, Jay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? I didn't know. Everything always takes over. What did call her Daddy get? What was that channel before Oprah?

[Producer]

Wait, call her Daddy has her own channel?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Producer]

I thought they just took the podcast.

[Christine]

No, she has a. The Unwell Network and the Unwell Music Station.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Unwell. She got a music station? Yeah. What the is going on in this building?

[Robert Kelly]

You got nothing.

[Christine]

And it's like Channel 4 or something. It's way low.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut up.

[Robert Kelly]

You got Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna break something.

[Robert Kelly]

How long you been here, though? They've been here longer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can we have a.

[Robert Kelly]

How long you been here? They've been here longer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

12 years.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, sorry. It's not. You've been here longer than everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

10 years. What's it been? 11 years. 11 years.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what?

[Christine]

Q and A still here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that is Jim?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where the fuck is Jim? Is Jim here? I want Jim to come in. If they're not using the room where they have all these cameras hooked up to, can we make that a smash room? This place needs a smash room. Something bad. Every time I hear news of this building, it makes me want to smash, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, this room is a smash room. If you kick something, it falls apart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Hey, everyone, why don't we give a whole radio channel to a guy who doesn't have a comedy audience? He has his own specific audience. And make that audience the only audience now at an old comedy channel. God damn it. Ooh, it makes me angry.

[Robert Kelly]

It's gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? Did Kevin Hart take over Richard Pryor radio?

[Producer]

No, he took over Jamie Foxx.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, dude buried him.

[Producer]

Shout out Foxhole.

[Robert Kelly]

Shout out Foxhole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

If you're trying to be more intentional about what you wear day to day, Quince can help with that. They've got pieces that feel easy, comfortable and still put together. The fabric feels elevated and the fits are clean. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34, lightweight, breathable and comfortable. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you would find at similar brands. Quint works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman, so you're getting premium material without the markup. You know what? When we first got quints on, I was like, I don't know if I'm going to look good in this stuff. I got my Quint's gear, my jacket, my shirts, the pants. They're amazing. They fit great, but most of all they feel great. I love everything I've gotten from Quints and you will too. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.combonfire for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.combonfire for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.combonfire One out of five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list. If that's you, make 2026 the year you finally check it off with Babbel, the language app that makes grammar fun and is actually worth your time. They understand that people learn differently, so you can dive into a podcast when you don't quite feel like a quick lesson. You can speak out loud to get that practice in and even create your own customized review list all within the app. I've been trying to learn Spanish for over a year now and I've tried other things and this babble just seems to work for me. It's so easy to use. I turn the app on, it has reminders, it just keeps me focused. Every day I try a little bit. Sometimes I actually go a little further and I try new functions on the app and sometimes I just learn basic words. It works Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. You get up to 60% off your Babel subscription at Babbel.com bonfire. Get up to 60% off at Babbel.com bonFire spelled B A B-B-E-L.com bonfire rules and restrictions may apply.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Robert Kelly]

Yo, man, I think it's a good

[Big Jay Oakerson]

thing you're trying to get on.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something. Sometimes you can beat them and sometimes you join them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you this.

[Robert Kelly]

You understand what I'm saying?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You give me $2 million a year, I will be nameless. Guy on microphone next to you on the Bobby Kelly show on Sebastian Manascalco, Radio 99.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to tell you this, though. You better be liking some Frank Sinatra soon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm a contrarian guy, and you guys can bust my balls all the time. You'd be mean to me. I'll be like the Jacob guy. Look at your face, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

Blue A wears his hat sideways like a little fucking kid from Little League.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know, guys. I'm just trying to hang out, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you put your hat on? Fucking correct.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, man. Is this like this is this, buddy, Listen them.

[Robert Kelly]

If you play for the Phillies, then get a fedora. You get about it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know I don't play for the Phillies, man. Come on. Come on, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

Guy wears a sweatshirt like he's going to UPS every day. Get a suit and tie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You still got the good stuff, B.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah, he's wearing men. What the. Is he wearing men's? Let him call this July.

[Jay Oakerson]

This guy's wearing pants and he's fucking in July.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut up. Shut up. Is that real? That's the actual.

[Christine]

That's the deadline article. When you, like, tweet the deadline article.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut the fuck up. Dude.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a perfect photo of him. Yeah, I think it's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They say I'm doing radio. What? The radio comes down from a satellite in the sky. Why? Why would a eiou or sometimes. Why would you do that?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm so excited to see what he does with the channel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have some ideas. I'll tell you what. Tom Papa's bread show is definitely making its way over there. Hi. Now stay tuned for Breading around with Tom Papa.

[Robert Kelly]

You're Italian. It's okay with you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, you still gots you fundrio.

[Robert Kelly]

Now his channel. Oh, is this him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, everyone, stay tuned for me and Pete. I hope he's sitting on Pete. I hope they pan back. You see he's sitting on Pete Corioli's back. This is my human chair. Pete Corrielli, you show him respect where I do not. Let's hear it.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Look at this promo piece, people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look it.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at the digital background.

[Sebastian Maniscalco]

Hey, it's Sebastian Maniscalco here. Hang out with me on Sebastian Maniscalco's Comedy Radio. And I felt with SiriusXM, it gives a broader canvas to do a lot of the creative ideas that I have kind of sitting in my brain. It's not only a comedy channel, but we infuse comedy in a lot of different areas, whether it be sports, etiquette, lifestyle. We're gonna add some music. Not listening to dancing, too. That's right, people. I'm a dancer. See some dance music.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He gets music on his channel. I guess then they can't complain when we play music.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a lot of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're not allowed to complain. Listen, I hope the fucking higher ups listen to the show. You're not allowed to yell at me for listening to music. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

This is not. This is not your channel. That's his channel. And they're going to be doing a lot of other things other than comedy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'm really glad you said to me before I kicked the doors open and didn't think about that. This is not our channel. You're right.

[Robert Kelly]

Your channel. This is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot of. People say it is our channel, though. I mean, yeah, people would say, well,

[Robert Kelly]

there's a lot of other things on. This is the faction talk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's The Sam Roberts.

[Robert Kelly]

Sam's on the channel?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure, you got.

[Robert Kelly]

Bennington's on the channel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the sweet Lord's calling him.

[Robert Kelly]

You got. Wow. What the fuck, man? God damn it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just saying there could be a vacuum.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, listen, man. No, there's no vacuum.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A power vacuum.

[Robert Kelly]

No power vacuum. The show is going on. You have that. You have that other show. What's the other show? This doesn't have Trunk Eddie. Trunk is on the network. I'm just practicing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I have a feeling there is something sports over here.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe there was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All I know is whenever I put on the channel, we're not on.

[Christine]

Well, I think we only replay right after.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's perfect. That's actually good throughout the weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. The weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, throughout the weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, this is gonna be Sebastian all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, 24 hours.

[Robert Kelly]

Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And a little bit of Bobby. And a little bit of Bobbito.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, I can't wait till I walk in. Oh, hey. Where's Pete? I'm sitting on him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought you were Porter. Hey, Bobby. I'm down here. I guess I'm a chair now. What am I doing down here? Why?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, Pete is hit, dude. Pete is one of the funniest humans walking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if it's the Sebastian Channel? Why can't the show still be called Pete and Sebastian?

[Producer]

Branding. I. I would say. I would guess. And the channel is not going to change all that much. It's just imaging.

[Robert Kelly]

Somebody's a company man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he gets to pick everything.

[Producer]

He's not. He's not the boss of the channel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one needs sound effects over there. Stop auditioning.

[Christine]

I'm not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he put together two trailer pieces.

[Robert Kelly]

Four nothing. Or as Sebastian would say, Lugat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Sebastian radio.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you do that? Three.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Papa forgot. Yeah. Oh, Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

We need Lou over here. Coffee.

[Christine]

We're going to do.

[Robert Kelly]

Want some Sanka?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sanka?

[Producer]

You guys don't know the sank a bit?

[Robert Kelly]

L. Let me ask a question. How much would it cost to take you away from us?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Minimal.

[Producer]

Nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe a hundred dollar cash tip a week like his current pay. And a $100 cash tip a week.

[Robert Kelly]

I was going to give that to him anyways.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't mind giving little hundred bucks. It doesn't tell me no problem.

[Robert Kelly]

I dip the lady in the bathroom when I'm taking a whiz.

[Producer]

No, I. I used to look to

[Big Jay Oakerson]

me caught a tri color cookie, a piece of cake. He caught a tri color cookie a piece of cake in front of my dad and my mom, what the. I couldn't believe it. Lou, why sh. I do a little whisper, Sebastian.

[Robert Kelly]

Why so? How so? What if they're like, yo, bro, we're gonna pay you $100,000 more a year?

[Producer]

No one's gonna pay me. That's number one.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, but what if they were?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why Is a cheap Italian Damn. Or the Jews that run this place

[Robert Kelly]

I work for Jesus Christ. What the. Are you. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's okay. Yeah, I put on the. I put an A on the end of it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I always forget you're one of those Jew guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? Because I have four swastika tattoos, Bobby. First of all, I keep them covered.

[Robert Kelly]

But they are first of all four. You keep forgetting the other one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right. They said that'll fade through time, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, if you sun your.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was good telepathy right there. We were both thinking that was called. That's called radio camaraderie right there. Unspoken. We both knew.

[Robert Kelly]

I just spit take on Loose Face Body Brain Coffee Due to help you think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, if it gets in your eyes, it's good.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, if it gets in your eyes, it makes you see better. You won't need glasses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Osmosis.

[Producer]

I didn't get any on me. Did you get me?

[Robert Kelly]

No, in your mouth. In your mouth. Do you feel smarter?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a swish. So you didn't feel it.

[Robert Kelly]

Lou, A hundred thousand dollars. He says, louis, I'm gonna give you a hundred thousand extra.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna give you 100 Lodge to leave your stupid friends.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna take away from Pete's salary to give it to you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now Pete's already my chair. I just want you to come here and be my human desk. I'm gonna make him an awful camera for you.

[Producer]

I'm a Pete Corieli guy. So if it was a Pete Corelli show, I would be helping them, provided that it didn't interfere with this show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not what we're asking.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not we're asking.

[Producer]

As it stands, I'm helping nobody except for you guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you are helping us. You're helping us a lot. But that's not the question we're asking at all, though. Yeah, we know you love it here.

[Producer]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you want to, don't. You would not leave to split time. Yeah, when we know you're selling $100,000 more a year.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, you're selling T shirts.

[Producer]

I know. I live with my twin brother. I need a vertical.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're standing on the highway ramp selling Fresh mango on the weekends.

[Robert Kelly]

Last week I, I went in the bedroom with your brother. I thought it was you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my God. Your brother played me like a straight up fool. He came in here acting totally whack and I did not know because you have identical penises. So by the time I found out it was too. No, listen, hear me out, dog. No, no, no, don't get crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that you added the splash of black in there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah, yeah. She's black and Indian, you know.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah, see that? So you, you got to get out of there. So what if they gave you like $150,000 extra year to do both?

[Producer]

This is radio. No one's gonna give me that ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How about $200,000 and you get to

[Robert Kelly]

sell your shirts on the Sebastian show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's upwards of 200,000. 3. $203,000, $200,000 and $3,000.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have any more shirts you'd show on Sebastian's if he, if Sebastian was promoting your search shirts?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, you would love that so much.

[Robert Kelly]

Guys, real quick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sebastian backing up your quick.

[Robert Kelly]

Guys. I want to take a break to plug my friend's T shirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Big Lou, stir the sauce.com. stir the sauce, would you?

[Jay Oakerson]

The kind of people are they?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you doing? You sitting there, you letting the sauce burn on the bottom.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, I, I told you. You're gonna plug his shit.

[Robert Kelly]

What if Pete has to change his accent?

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Sebastian, let me ask you a question. Now there's the new show. I'm really happy to be here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pipe down, chair.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry, I'm just down here. My knees are hurting. Can I get a beer or something?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chairs are meant to chair, not talk.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know, I know, I know, I know. I just, I did a little parched down here. Maybe a beer, Pete?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I gotta leave room for celebrity drop ins.

[Jay Oakerson]

Alright, I understand, but we haven't had one in like three months. I've been down here being your chair, Pete.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, eat your lasagna.

[Jay Oakerson]

All right, all right. I'm not really. I'm trying to watch the car, you know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn. I am so excited for Sebastian Radio. I was looking forward to getting my off a raw dog. I don't know if I agree with their morals over there.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, raw dog is the one that plays all our. The other one doesn't play any of our stuff because it's clean comedy. Yeah, you have to be crystal clean. Yeah, maybe that's the way we go, Jay. Maybe we take this show and our stand up crystal clean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay?

[Robert Kelly]

Let's do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, we're thinking outside the box for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's do it. No more swearing, no more nothing. We go crystal clean and then we run this place.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I say we go crystal clean and then leave and go work for Nateland. We'll do fantastic over there. The clean. Oh, my God, Bobby. We'll be doing corporates.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, corporate money. So much. Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So much corporate stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

A merch would sell.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Be great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just many not good ways to clean up my material.

[Robert Kelly]

We can clean it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It has to be all new material.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's take a joke. Let's see if we can clean it up. Give us one of your jokes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Try to give us the cleanest one so it makes it easier.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll do, like, an older one.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, let's do another one. Ready?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Oh, this is a good one.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So this black prostitute is sucking my cock, and then she gagged. I thought she farted, but she actually shit a little.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I don't wanna give away the punchline, but.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, so we change the beginning from black prostitute, lady of the night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Cause it adds the black and the prostitute in there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I don't think lady the night, I think would almost imply. You'd think it's like a white woman coming in a ball gown. You'd have to say. You'd have to say lady of the night.

[Robert Kelly]

Of the evening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, like, lady of the night. And then maybe like midnight, if you know what I mean.

[Robert Kelly]

Perfect.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Lady of. So try it. Lady of the night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lady of the night. So I was hanging out with the lady of the night or lady of the late night, if you know what I mean.

[Robert Kelly]

Midnight was better.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, if she didn't smile, I couldn't see her.

[Robert Kelly]

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. You took it too far. Okay, we're gonna go back a little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, we're scrubbing this.

[Robert Kelly]

So it's like this lady of the night, midnight, if you know what I mean. Those clean crowds love the. You know what I mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. So I say, you know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. You know, you got it.

[Robert Kelly]

You got it, you got it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I tell you what, I'm gonna stop this bit, and it's worth stopping it to just tell you, like, I just did a really good thing. I just did a really good, good, good thing. I swear to you, in my. I think comedy is boundaryless. So I think of so many things in my head and I'm like, if we keep doing the bit, Bobby, I'm Gonna just say one of the things and just throw out there, like. And then we're gonna live or die by. And it just seems like the stakes are too high, so I try not to.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, I got the Sebastian show. I'm going to.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know what the fuck y' all talking about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're good.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're trying to sell me out. Jay, say everything you've ever wanted to see on the radio. Bobby's making his way over to Sebastian radio.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, guys, how you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, what are you doing? Oh, God.

[Robert Kelly]

I was working for that piece of. Over there. He's got a potty mouth. You know that, right? He's garbage.

[Jay Oakerson]

You know what he said the last

[Robert Kelly]

time about the thems and the days?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Does Chick fil a use paper straws?

[Robert Kelly]

No, they don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They hate gays.

[Robert Kelly]

They do. They're not going to use paper straws for those.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Slap a dapper, hunka dunk a hink of it. Oh, geez.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you think that he. I mean, he's gonna play a lot of. If he's playing music, he's gonna play a lot of Frank Sinatra and stuff like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What if music is Sebastian? Like, he couldn't be caught dead at a concert that wasn't some guy in a tuxedo singing,

[Robert Kelly]

oh, yeah, did you see that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw it. He is unironically loving it.

[Robert Kelly]

Loves it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know that music, still at his age, thumps out of his car. By the way, I listen to very age. I listen to age appropriate music at inappropriate volumes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. David Cross, way too loud.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I present. I present Christopher Cross. Yo. Yeah, no, it's. Exactly. But I go obnoxious all over the place. Yeah, this is different.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, well, I'm glad that we got some fresh blood here. And it's gonna, you know, add a little. A little. What should I say? A little spice to the. To the Sirius xm. Who's that? Is that Pete?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that Sebastian calling?

[Producer]

That's.

[Christine]

Oh, that was the beginning of this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, this is great. Yes. Steve Aoki.

[Robert Kelly]

My heart just went through my chest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, Steve Aoki looks like he was made with AI.

[Robert Kelly]

He looks like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What fucking 11 races is that guy? Dude, Sebastian's so stoked to be part of this. Oh, my God. Can you believe he's dancing like that? No, this is the video. This is the official music video. Go to. There's like videos of them making it where Sebastian's so excited. Or the live episode thing where he's Outside at a big festival. And Sebastian's face is on the big screen. Right.

[Robert Kelly]

And they play it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's insane.

[Producer]

Sebastian says a bunch of stuff. Yeah, not just. Does your father know you dance?

[Robert Kelly]

He looks like he's. He's faking having fun there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not.

[Robert Kelly]

He looks like he's. It looks to me like he's like, I'm doing this, but I have to do it because the song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, this is his tucked in T shirt. Fucking thick rope Chain Dream.

[Producer]

When he grew up in Chicago, he would go to those dance clubs where they played freestyle music. Of course, you know, this is his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, this is an Italian guy who still owns a lot of bottles of Drakkar Dream.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Is Drakkar bad?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's not bad. It's just like. It's Italian guy from the 80s and 90s.

[Robert Kelly]

Polo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Polo's nice. That's a. Yeah, this is Sebastian. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you remember this?

[Robert Kelly]

I just heard in the bathroom. I love Lisa. Lisa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this Lisa Lisa?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Producer]

And Cult Jam.

[Robert Kelly]

Lisa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lisa.

[Robert Kelly]

And the Cult Jam. Pawn on the Beat In My Heart. I used to dance like that. Why would you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God.

[Producer]

Bobby's feeling it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks old, though.

[Producer]

Not in his. Not in his mind, he's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, but whatever he's seeing isn't what the world's seeing right now. I don't know. Should you put a wallet in his mouth? Maybe he's spinning. Oh, he's. His eyes are closed now, and he's really. He's getting down. I think he's playing with an invisible orb.

[Producer]

He's in 1987.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He is right now. 1987. And I don't know if he's grinding on a girl or if he's in a circle of his buddies. Either way, he just had a weird tit thing. He's swimming through the crowd. He also knows all the words, which I find devastating. Oh, man. You had to. By the way, the reason it doesn't embarrass Bobby is because he's always had to do this sober because he had to get sober before dance was created.

[Producer]

You know how fucking hard it is to dance sober? It's impossible.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm doing it right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It can't be any harder than what Bobby's doing. You never got laid once because of dancing. It was despite dancing. It was definitely despite your dancing. Black Lou's gonna put this out there. Oh, my Christ.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hated that.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you please do the. Send that to Sebastian for me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no. Sebastian is gonna love that. You gotta dance to Sebastian's song. Does your father know you danced like that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Bam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bam. Bam, bam.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God, that felt good. I felt like it was an AA dance in St. Mary's and L, Massachusetts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jeff. You did. You just closed your eyes and dance by yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

I dance? You dance by yourself at first, but one of the girls saw you dancing. Then they come out, and then they surround you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You start dancing by yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

When you open your eyes, all of a sudden you're surrounded by women. J. Women.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I believe you. That's. That. That's not how it would have worked out for me for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay, you don't know that. I believe dance is inside of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is.

[Robert Kelly]

And I believe you got to let it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

We should start wedding. We should start wedding crashing. Me and you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've been downing more lately.

[Robert Kelly]

We crash weddings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've been downing my dancing.

[Robert Kelly]

The whole thing. I thought of we do a thing. Me and you crash weddings. We go in, we hang out, meet chicks, blah, blah. We dance. And that's kind of a thing that we do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's my concern.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

At one point, we take it a little too far.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And, like, what if I don't hook up with the girl on the very first time, but I like her? Yeah. So then what if we gotta go hang out with her family on, like, an island or something?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, if they're rich, we'll go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but I don't know. I already think the mother's a problem. She seems all sexed up and whore.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Let's go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The one kid seems like a gay artist type. I just think it's gonna be unsettling.

[Robert Kelly]

What if the dad is, like some type of senator or something? He's got power.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Plus, I already got sucked off in the bathroom by the one girl here. So it's gonna be. I feel like she's gonna be clingy the whole time.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. But you know what? You're right. There could be, like, some aggressive boyfriend typ guy there. Some jock, you know, Harvard, Yale type of dude that's gonna try to. You up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

But me, I'll probably wind up getting it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But then the thing is, though, like, the girl would probably see that, like, you're the good person. That person's just who society wants her to be with.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because they want to keep money within money. Well, but you learn probably at the time is the substance of a person that matters.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the substance of the person it's not the fun we were having. It's just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then that Will Ferrell scene.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. But we'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's why I thought Christine was going to hit the music.

[Christine]

There's a. Here's a few different.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like this music, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is. I tell you, I looked. I watched a lot of the Coachella stuff this week. They always just have two stages of this happening.

[Christine]

Yeah, EDM was like the most genre.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, this is involved. You have to be doing very specific drugs. This is probably. I assume it's cocaine, meth, molly. Right. Any kind of meth based drug. Yep.

[Producer]

And some kind of md.

[Christine]

I mean, it's fun when you're on ecstasy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think it would be for me still, though, I don't know.

[Christine]

Here's the thing. It's like you. I think if you were in a space where you could loosen up and dance, you would have fun. I just don't know what drug would ever get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not to this music, though. I'd still want to dance to music that I like. Like this would give me a panic attack at any level of high.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you just try right now without drugs? Just get up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, because I just saw what you did.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but why don't you just get up and let it get into you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Give me a better version. Does your mother know you dance like that?

[Robert Kelly]

See if. See if it happens. Jay right now is standing up. He's going to try.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do I have to dance like you?

[Robert Kelly]

No, buddy, this is dances inside of you. Not my dance is inside of me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I'm only doing what you did.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you try.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Try to shuffle, dude. Do your thing. Feel it and see what comes out. That's what you do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not gonna lie to you. I can do the foot thing at this point now.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, let's just see what comes out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does it kill you that I know how to do that now?

[Robert Kelly]

It hurts me a little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Turn that up, Lou. This is what I feel like. I have to only do a Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, you got it. No, do. Feel it. Feel it.

[Christine]

Stir the pot. Stir the pot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. One, two, three.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh,

[Christine]

yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

He's like dancing from his soul.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Feel it.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah. Boom. Come on. Get in it. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere else. You're on another planet. A planet of dance. Everybody dances.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I really hate. You just bullied me into doing the thing you wanted to do. I hated every. That felt as bad as Watching my old comedy, you get that. Does your mother know you dance?

[Robert Kelly]

Christine? Do you like to dance?

[Christine]

I mean, yeah, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not in my house, I haven't.

[Christine]

Are you like. Yes, I like to dance alone by myself all the time.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm talking, like, dance.

[Christine]

I used to love going out like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You dance alone a lot.

[Christine]

Oh, if you had cameras in the house, it's like full blown recitals.

[Robert Kelly]

We can do this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wouldn't, but I actually am upset with her for never thinking to once film that at all.

[Christine]

Why would I do that to myself? I'm trying to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I showed everybody me bombing in front of black people who didn't like me.

[Christine]

I made a career of comedy. I just produce.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, well, producing. Producing that video would have been great.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have a video of you dancing? No.

[Christine]

I mean, there is a video of me being like, what does the dog do? Everybody else in a performance at El Camino, but that DVD got stolen with my friend Chelsea's computer.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a long answer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the dog do when you dance?

[Robert Kelly]

Fucking barks and fleets out like it's fireworks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She chills and just watches you dance.

[Christine]

I mean, sometimes I dance at her or sing at her.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man, that dog's going through.

[Robert Kelly]

That dog is definitely. When you leave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that. You know, it's funny as she says these things, sometimes I'm like, that's the look Dawkins gives me in her eyes.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't leave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She gets me alone. She gets very, like. She's like on top of me. She goes, dude, dude, it gets weird when you're not here.

[Robert Kelly]

This. This lady's kooky.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because. And also, she must even feel. She goes, this lady is 100 different when you're around. When you're not around.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean. I mean, if she didn't rub my belly the way she did, I'd run away from this house.

[Christine]

Don't make her dance with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It might be my favorite thing in the world. And I don't know why she does it. For the last several weeks now, it's clockwork. When I come home and I go, give me a kiss in the face. She gives me one, like, comes over, she's like. Like running around. So she comes over, just like, licks my face and then runs off. And I go, get back over here. Another kiss, and she goes over. She doesn't. And by the third one, she goes like. Like, she's like. And by, like, the fifth one, she comes over. She goes, like, making noise. I couldn't even Guess what's going through her head. I'll tell you what's going her keep coming back. I'm like, what?

[Robert Kelly]

Tough? I've been with this crazy lady all day and I don't need this dress.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got her singing. You're trying to make out with me, Ari, when we did Skanks. It'll be on the. The pre. The Friday night hang episode. Lewis brought his dog and Ari, like, he's done with everybody's dog, does a full blown, like, French kiss session with him.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he makes that with the dogs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But Lewis's dog loved it. Yeah, because I mean, kept jumping back. Would jump over Lewis to get back to Ari to French some more. Yeah, like, it was like. It was like one person was trying to leave on a train and they. They keep jumping off and someone goes, all aboard. And then the dog would run away and then come back and take. Steal one more with Ari.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, because his breath doesn't smell like protein and dicks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true. Body Brain and cock. Body Brain asshole. That's the name of the creamer. Body Brain Coffee and Asshole creamer.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I love. I don't make out with my dog anymore. Like, I used to let her kiss me, but I don't do that anymore. I get a couple kisses and I'm out. But I do my, you know, doodles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I let her lick my face.

[Robert Kelly]

She's so fluffy. Her hair is so fluffy and it's like a teddy bear. But when I go into the bed and I have the kikiko on the whole bed, the new one is so good, by the way. So big. And she'll. I'll go. And she'll run and jump on the bed and, like, flop, like, fly next to me and stretch out right next to me. And I just rub her belly and she just gives me kisses on the cheek and I fucking love it. You're the best. I do. They are the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, wait a second, dude. Guys, I just realized we've done the first half of the show in Radio Andy studio. Oh, my God. This got gay. It's the little gas they pump into this room. Makes you say a bunch of gay stuff. It's happening. You know what? Let's vent this place out. Let's take a commercial break. Vent this place out. I don't even know. I can't even read right now. Bobby's gonna be on the road in Mohegan Sun.

[Robert Kelly]

What did I do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're Bobby. I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

What was I doing? My legs hurt.

[Christine]

Oh, you should see what's happening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where do we go?

[Christine]

Look on the Internet, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

What happened?

[Producer]

You didn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait a second. Is this the channel that took over Al Q Radio? The gay channel? Bobby Kelly is going to be swinging his buns in comics this weekend in Connecticut. The 17th and 18th. I'm going to be in Kansas City after Nashville. BigJComedy.com. we'll be right back. Stabano Christine's goat. I feel weird. What just happened back?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know, dude, but you look cute.

[Christine]

It.

[Doug]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Doug]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Doug]

Anyways, get a quote at Liberty Mutual or with your local agent.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Doug]

Breathe in. Feel the sense of calm that comes from having up to $300 in overdraft protection with Goto Bank. Now.

[Christine]

Did you say $300?

[Doug]

Yes. Now back to our breathing.

[Christine]

So if I overspend my balance, go2bank has my back up to $300.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Doug]

Can we breathe out now? Less worries, more zen. With over $300 in overdraft protection tap to open an account today. Eligible direct deposits and opt in required for overdraft protection fees. Terms and conditions apply.