Full-Blown Bag Addict

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly Episode: Full-Blown Bag Addict
Release Date: May 23, 2025

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1. Introduction to Public Domain Music

Timestamp: 00:55 – 03:02

Robert Kelly and Bobby Kelly kick off the episode by announcing their transition to exclusively using public domain music for the show. This change allows them greater flexibility in their musical selections without legal repercussions.

• Robert Kelly: “As you know, we now use exclusively public domain music... We can play it freely.”
• Bobby Kelly: “There's no consequences.”

The hosts discuss potential songs they can now perform without licensing issues, like “Happy Birthday” and “Camptown Races,” while humorously debating which tunes are permissible.

2. Christine’s Reading Journey and Intellectual Challenges

Timestamp: 03:02 – 37:08

Christine introduces herself and shares her experiences with reading, highlighting a shift from enjoying the "Harry Potter" series to tackling more complex subjects like the Civil War and the history of the Third Reich. This transition has made her feel less intelligent, as she struggles with advanced vocabulary.

• Christine: “I really feel like I'm becoming less intelligent... I have to look up the definition.”
• Robert Kelly: “Your accent says a lot of words, not even close to what they are in spelling.”

The conversation delves into her thoughts on literary themes and historical figures, particularly focusing on Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings. The discussion touches on sensitive topics, including stereotypes, which are handled with the show's characteristic blunt humor.

3. Humor and Sexual Banter

Timestamp: 04:00 – 37:08

The episode features a significant amount of humor centered around sexual topics and relationships. The hosts engage in playful and explicit banter, discussing everything from pornography preferences to marital dynamics.

• Robert Kelly: “Is your dick ever dry?”
• Bobby Kelly: “I'm gonna throw him down to the ground where he hits his head and it hurts.”

This segment includes graphic descriptions and jokes that reflect the hosts' unfiltered and no-holds-barred comedic style. While entertaining, some remarks may be considered offensive or inappropriate for certain audiences.

4. The Bag Addiction and Travel Accessories

Timestamp: 37:08 – 58:00

As the episode progresses, the conversation shifts focus to travel bags and accessories. Bobby Kelly passionately discusses his obsession with multifunctional and modular bags, proposing innovative features like detachable components and built-in seating.

• Bobby Kelly: “It should be multifunctional... It should have some type of charging thing in it.”
• Robert Kelly: “Your bag is going to become a whole chair.”

The hosts explore various bag designs, debating the practicality and aesthetics of different styles, including sling bags and backpacks. Bobby shares his ideas for the "perfect bag," emphasizing versatility and functionality tailored for modern travel needs.

• Bobby Kelly: “I have a design... a thing that flops out. You can hit, push, whatever, and it comes out and you can sit down.”
• Robert Kelly: “Look at that. Dude. Look at that.”

This segment highlights the hosts' creativity and penchant for practical humor, turning a conversation about bags into a lively and engaging topic.

5. Interaction with Jacob and Ongoing Jokes

Timestamp: 31:01 – 58:00

Jacob intermittently joins the conversation, contributing his insights and engaging in the hosts' playful teasing. The trio discusses various topics, including fashion accessories like fanny packs and the practicality of different bag styles.

• Robert Kelly: “You look dope. It’s actually not a bad reason.”
• Bobby Kelly: “I love this backpack. Pack Pak is one of the best travel bags I can have.”

Jacob's presence adds another layer of humor and dynamism to the discussion, as they collectively navigate through topics ranging from personal style choices to mock-serious debates about the best travel gear.

6. Conclusion and Final Remarks

Timestamp: 58:00 – End

In the closing moments, the hosts briefly touch upon advertisement segments, seamlessly integrating them into the conversation without disrupting the show's flow. They continue their trademark humor, wrapping up the episode on a light-hearted note.

• Robert Kelly: “So this is all tech. This is all manly shit.”
• Bobby Kelly: “How awesome is that?”

The episode concludes with the hosts maintaining their engaging and humorous rapport, leaving listeners entertained and anticipating future discussions.

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Notable Quotes:

• Robert Kelly (02:00): “We don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
• Christine (03:33): “I really enjoy reading before I go to bed.”
• Bobby Kelly (43:21): “I think it should be multifunctional. It should be more than one bag.”
• Robert Kelly (44:39): “Turn your phone down.”

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Note: This summary captures the essence and key discussions of the episode while adhering to content guidelines. Some conversations contain explicit language and sensitive topics that reflect the show's unfiltered comedic style.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Robert Kelly]

Robert.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hi.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob. Lewis. Lewis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jason.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

As you know, we now use exclusively public domain music. So we can play it for as long as we absolutely like and we.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can just let it go in the background and there's no repercussions.

[Robert Kelly]

No one's gonna be jamming my ass over this.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no consequences.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody who would jam my ass about this has been dead for years and years.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So I think we're in good shape now. The show, as you know, is now exclusively public domain made music. All of our rejoins, all of our beginnings will be public domain music. So we can play it freely Now. I'm gonna, I'm not gonna lie to you guys. We can't do a lot of sing alongs these. Unless we write lyrics because this is before singing was invented.

[Bobby Kelly]

We could sing Happy Birthday.

[Robert Kelly]

We are allowed to sing Happy Birthday. Camptown Races. I believe we're allowed to sing. She'll be Coming around the Mountain, I.

[Bobby Kelly]

Believe is also come around. I think we can't do that one.

[Robert Kelly]

Should we come around the mountain when she comes?

[Bobby Kelly]

I believe this.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm almost certain we can.

[Bobby Kelly]

You sure?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm almost certain.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, that's a goodie. Happy birthday for sure. But not Stevie wonders. Happy birthday. That blind will jam our asses so hard my ass will be jammed. Yes, it is public domain.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

And a polite.

[Christine]

I like that. The intro. Classical music. It was nice.

[Robert Kelly]

It was nice. It was refined.

[Christine]

It was refined.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not going to change the. The body of the show. It's still going to be a bunch of concoct stuff, but we can come in like gentlemen.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're still going to bring up some videos and just talk about videos that we don't really give details to.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we figure if we. We're trying to handle one problem at a time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We've solved our music issues now. Are you gonna be able to stop me from exclusively watching television while people listen to me do that? I don't know. I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you'll try.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna do everything in my power to.

[Christine]

Baby steps.

[Robert Kelly]

But listen, we are. There's the fear of ass jamming is gone. So that's good. It's gone.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't have to worry about it.

[Robert Kelly]

We don't have to worry about that anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe you do.

[Robert Kelly]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe a different type of ass jamming you like.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say finger my ass.

[Jacob]

That's for love.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Love ass jamming.

[Robert Kelly]

Ex.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. Christine, thank you for chiming in.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you, Christine, for chiming in.

[Christine]

Based on the music, can I bring up an intellectual thing that I've been meaning to bring up to you?

[Robert Kelly]

Whatever you need.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would say. Please. Please.

[Christine]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby Jacob, the floor is yours.

[Christine]

I really feel like I'm becoming less intelligent. Or maybe I'm not as intelligent as I thought I was. I was. I was like, moderately intelligent. You know, you walk around with that kind of confidence. Yes, that I have a basic knowledge.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Christine]

Basic intellectual level, whatever that means. I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it's smart of you to say that.

[Robert Kelly]

Slightly above average.

[Christine]

Sure, I think that's about right. Yeah, I read at night. I always enjoy reading before I go to bed. And, you know, I have two levels at night I use. I'll do what I call my. My entertainment. Light reading.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Christine]

I just finished Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're all done with Vampire Lestat?

[Christine]

No, that's not my thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Christine]

Sorry, I'm not interested.

[Robert Kelly]

Harry Potter's your jam?

[Christine]

Yes. All of Harry Potter?

[Bobby Kelly]

All them.

[Christine]

I just read the entire series. Finished the last book.

[Robert Kelly]

For kids.

[Christine]

Well. Or teenagers. I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Just keeping score.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think they became teens.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, tween.

[Christine]

You know.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You're smarter than the books.

[Christine]

Adults can enjoy them too.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Jacob]

Wait, you just. You read the whole thing? Like for a second or third time?

[Christine]

I don't. I think the last time I read the entire series was when the last book came out. So it's been a while. Or maybe I read it once more in between.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, if your long game is imprisoning children and Keeping them some sort of a cage to keep you company in your lonely old age. You're gonna need something to talk to them about. Harry Potter is one of those things.

[Christine]

Yes. And I can go deep.

[Robert Kelly]

He can go deep.

[Bobby Kelly]

I bet he can.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn right. Hey, kids. Gather around. You're all my children now. You're like a. Freddy Krueger doesn't molest kids. You just want to read to them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't have to keep them in the cage all the time. You want them to be able to come out and feel safe in the living room.

[Robert Kelly]

You'd like to have children like cats. I think that'd be nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

There you go. Now, is it. Is it intellectual of me to think to myself, it was a mistake for Harry to give up the Elder Wand?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Christine]

I don't know exactly. It's what I'm. My point.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can ask a question real quick.

[Christine]

That's not an adult. That's not an intellectual level.

[Jacob]

Lose your friend here. He knows what you mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know what an. What. What kind of wand.

[Christine]

The Elder Wand.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Elder Wand. There's a wand. A wand. I know, right?

[Robert Kelly]

But in the fairness of Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Your accent says a lot of words, not even close to what they are in spelling.

[Christine]

Or maybe he said elda, but he meant Elder, because he did.

[Bobby Kelly]

But. Can I say something?

[Christine]

I swear I didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay. The music. The music wasn't playing in the background. Therefore, I revert back to my.

[Robert Kelly]

Your Boston roots.

[Bobby Kelly]

My Boston roots. So if you play the music, please, Jacob.

[Christine]

Yes, Robert?

[Bobby Kelly]

What is an Elder Wand?

[Christine]

Well, because I read the whole series, and I'm not saying, you know, this is the intellectual level where I'd like to be, but of course, for enjoyment. An intellectual like myself. Like to cut back. That's the. It's considered the greatest wand ever made. The most powerful.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, he had an original wand.

[Christine]

Harry had his wand. His wand, which was broken.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then it got broken and he.

[Christine]

He got Dumbledore. He got Dumbledore's wand after he.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dumbledore.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you stop the music for a second?

[Christine]

Yeah, I didn't want to go down.

[Robert Kelly]

Is your dick ever dry? How. I mean, come on, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's amazing.

[Robert Kelly]

How is there not a trail of women waiting to sit on this thing?

[Christine]

Jay, Right?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

How much pussy do you get during Halloween?

[Christine]

Like, I really have gotten off course here.

[Robert Kelly]

My apologies. Lou, the music again, please.

[Christine]

Forget that. Forget that nonsense. That's for kids.

[Robert Kelly]

That's. Kids play.

[Christine]

That's not what I wanted to bring up, actually.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would say inappropriate.

[Christine]

And if Lou wanted to cut that to save me, like to maybe let me get laid again.

[Robert Kelly]

Cut some of our lunchtime between shows.

[Bobby Kelly]

We came up early just so we have a little longer with Chick fil A.

[Christine]

But sure, yeah, but I'd like to get laid again.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure, sure.

[Christine]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sure. Listen, eventually the people who are appropriate age to read Harry Potter will become adults one day.

[Christine]

Yes, but I don't stop getting old.

[Robert Kelly]

Right? They do.

[Bobby Kelly]

But maybe, maybe, maybe there's a way that you could do that. Maybe there's a spell.

[Robert Kelly]

That's right. Jacob. All right, all right, all right. Betot.

[Christine]

It's not gonna happen.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, I love about. You know I love about wizards in school. I get older, they say the same age. You know I love about fucking Hogwarts girls. I get older, they say the same age. All right, all right. Somebody should really redo these are the ideas that I could throw out there to the world. Never come through on so much new Dazed and Confused, but with Hogwarts. Oh, shit. Oh, is that an owl? Is that an owl out my window? Looks like somebody just got their invite to Hogwarts. I think we're gonna like it here. Oh my God, look at Hermione. Is that her name? Hermione?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at Hermione over there. What? What a fat ass.

[Christine]

And for the ladies listening, where. This is a comedy show. I bring that up for laughs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Christine]

So I hope you made. I made you laugh out there.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. You brought the giggles.

[Christine]

That's not really me.

[Robert Kelly]

You also inspired one of the best ideas ever. Harry Potter, Dazed and Confused, Hogwarts.

[Christine]

But my point is now I'm done with that. I finished the book, but I have my adult books.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I ask a real quick question?

[Christine]

Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

How many books are there in the series?

[Christine]

Seven.

[Bobby Kelly]

Seven.

[Christine]

One for each year.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it's a thick book. Right?

[Robert Kelly]

Fucking medical school.

[Bobby Kelly]

So that he only went to seven. There's only seventh. Seven grades to be a full fledged wizard, right?

[Christine]

I don't make the Hogwarts rules.

[Bobby Kelly]

They don't have a wizard college you can go to.

[Christine]

No, you're done.

[Robert Kelly]

What if you're an Asian kid who's like excelling at wizardry? Could you possibly graduate early? What if sorcery is just so in you that you could pull it off like a du.

[Bobby Kelly]

You come in and you're just already seventh grade wizard.

[Robert Kelly]

You're just like, this kid's bored.

[Christine]

Could be a five year old teacher. There I guess.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the kids. I know the kid seems like a problem because he's bored, man. He's acing the test. He just doesn't want to be here.

[Christine]

All right. I forget. Oh yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, do they have encampments at Hogwarts for Palestine?

[Christine]

No, Everyone works together.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody works together.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, so they're not.

[Christine]

It's not come up in the book. She didn't write that. But I. Yeah, everyone's there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody's there.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

You sure?

[Christine]

Yeah. But you don't know what. What the. Which one of the. Like the Slytherin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Harry never got stopped going to the library by a group of other wizards.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, there's some kind of a troll. There's some kind of a troll that's definitely a Jew, right? They have like. There's always a big nose Jew monster and every monster 100 of the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, there's. If you go to.

[Christine]

I believe troll and he does have a big nose.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm pretty sure there's a. The bankers. The. The.

[Christine]

They're goblin. Jewish goblins. If you go by the stereotype, they're all the time.

[Robert Kelly]

How about the guy. How about the guy who owned Anakin Skywalker in the first or that Phantom Menace movie? Also an old Jew for sure.

[Christine]

Well, he didn't have a big nose.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, can you call Dave Smith and see if the goblins at the bank are Jewish in Harry Potter?

[Robert Kelly]

Are these Jewish bank goblins?

[Bobby Kelly]

Those are goblins.

[Christine]

They don't really get into what they do on the high holidays, but you can guess.

[Bobby Kelly]

That looks like 47th Street.

[Robert Kelly]

Is this the Diamond District? It's Hogwarts. Holy shit. Yeah. They're pale ugly goblins who have long hooked noses and run all the banks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I bought a Speedmaster off that guy last week.

[Robert Kelly]

Holy. Go to the guy who owned Anakin Skywalker. Do Star Wars. Jewish creature.

[Bobby Kelly]

So, Jacob, what were you saying? What was your point of you telling us that you read.

[Christine]

All right. My grown up books.

[Bobby Kelly]

You've grown up. You're growing up big boys.

[Christine]

Like I guess my age range. I like.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, is this not gonna end? You having a nocturnal emission because of reading that book? My fairy is. Look, there's the Jewish one from. And they all talk like this.

[Christine]

They have the. He has the banker accent.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. It's so.

[Christine]

The Shylock accent, if you will.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. And we really. We just closed our eyes to him when all of us Jews laughed along. And now look us under constant attack in the Middle East.

[Christine]

I knew what was happening.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You felt It.

[Christine]

It starts with this. Star wars, but so I'm reading like. Like Revolutionary War history.

[Robert Kelly]

Civil War, History of the Third Reich.

[Bobby Kelly]

Civil War is your favorite.

[Christine]

I have that book.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. We all know Jacob has that book. It's a swastika front and center in his house. Like he lives in Kanye's attic.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that your favorite war?

[Christine]

Civil War, probably not the outcome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not the outcome. I'm just saying the war itself.

[Robert Kelly]

No, Jacob, you would really flourish with a couple of slaves. Dude, you're probably bummed about the Civil War.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

No, no, no. I think the outcome is appropriate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, if you say so.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think you would own a little farm somewhere? Not too big, but not too small. He'd have a bow tie and suspenders.

[Christine]

Thomas Jefferson's pad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Outstanding. Monticello.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, yeah. He had the. He was banging black chicks. Dude. They're judgmental.

[Christine]

Yeah. I mean, hundreds of slaves and they.

[Robert Kelly]

Go, this couch uncomfortable.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry, princess, you're a slave. And she was like, I don't care. Slave got to lay down on her back. Better be comfortable. Is that more Jewish characters? Sad Jews.

[Christine]

So they said that. God damn it. What's her name? Sally Field. No.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesse Raphael. Right.

[Christine]

Thomas Jefferson's gal.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sally.

[Christine]

Why am I blanking on this? We're. I've read books and books.

[Robert Kelly]

Loretta.

[Christine]

Whatever. You know, you'll know it when you hear it. Sally Hemings, apparently she was so.

[Robert Kelly]

We knew it already.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did she make dresses?

[Christine]

She was black, but she was. She passed as white.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thanks, Jay.

[Christine]

Like sometimes in France, they didn't realize she wasn't considered.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was like. She was like.

[Christine]

She was that light skinned because.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that the one on the right?

[Christine]

So many.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

Yeah. Little Kim now like six generations.

[Robert Kelly]

Did she get little Kim? Did she get little Kim surgery?

[Christine]

No, naturally.

[Robert Kelly]

They just kept like Michael Jackson. She vitiligoed her way right into white culture.

[Christine]

Look, whatever that Sally Hemings were looking, a picture on the screen, it would.

[Bobby Kelly]

Be lighter than that.

[Christine]

What, like. Like the guy like. More like playing Thomas Jefferson.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you think the statue in Times Square is of Sally Henning?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I think that's of Yamanika's sister.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Tomonika, Dominica.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Christine]

Oh, yeah, she was her brother. She was that light skinned because everyone was Uncle Dominica.

[Robert Kelly]

Uncle Dominica. That's a great insult for Yamanika. You hang out with too many white people. Uncle Tom and Ika out there in the woods, and then white folks. Uncle Tom and Ek. You go, God damn, that's funny.

[Christine]

Well, I'm reading a biography of Winston Churchill now. So I got a couple of going. But the new one I'm reading is.

[Robert Kelly]

He was a prime minister of England.

[Bobby Kelly]

England, London.

[Christine]

See, we're on the same intellectual.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you say London, England? No. I asked Dave Smith this the other day. I go, winston Churchill's come up a lot. Just give me the basic what I should know about him. He goes, he was the prime minister and he was a loved war.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Christine]

Is that Dave?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Doesn't like Churchill.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got into a little controversy because he quoted Churchill, who did Dave.

[Robert Kelly]

Dave Smith.

[Bobby Kelly]

On something. And then Gnome went back and found the real full thing. And, like, he tried to prove. I don't know if you saw that video that Gnome put out where he went back and proved everything that Dave said. He tried to prove it wrong or something weird.

[Robert Kelly]

Did he?

[Jacob]

He went a little nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I say something? I don't know, dude. Because if you. If Dave says. Dave says something, I'm like, that's interesting. And then Gnome says something like, that's interesting too. And then if they send something back to Noam, I'm like, that's good. I don't. I don't have the ability to go.

[Robert Kelly]

To know or care.

[Bobby Kelly]

I find out.

[Jacob]

I don't have the energy, guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was up to 11:30 doing Max's words, and I didn't know what any of them meant. I had to use. I was like.

[Robert Kelly]

Stuff that day.

[Bobby Kelly]

I couldn't. I didn't. I was doing his work.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Max's homework.

[Bobby Kelly]

Max's homework. And I. I kept having to yell, hey, Dawn. And she woke up stupid.

[Robert Kelly]

She goes, it's pronounced horse.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not that bad.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's definitely smarter than me, Max. 100%.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you tell him that?

[Bobby Kelly]

I would never tell him that.

[Robert Kelly]

Never tell him that.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'd never say that to anything I would say.

[Robert Kelly]

Now start hitting him so he knows he's not tougher than you either.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, I'll go tonight. Yeah, I'm gonna beat the out of him tonight.

[Robert Kelly]

Just like. No, just don't beat the of him. Just.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna throw him down to the ground where he hits his head and it hurts. He goes, ow.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm like. And then I go, sorry, Right?

[Robert Kelly]

You have to let him. Let him know because I'm still extremely stronger than you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna do the same stuff I did to Don.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

When we first met.

[Robert Kelly]

Straighten her out. By the way, you put out a Video the other day, I. Man, Max. I'm trying to find the Bobby in Max. He looks exactly like Dawn. He's got my spitting image.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's got my bum chin. That's it.

[Robert Kelly]

Your chin?

[Bobby Kelly]

My chin. He's got my bum chin. Yeah, he looks really. He does.

[Robert Kelly]

He's got that bell I used to think had my eyes, but now the whole thing's just Carl's face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he is turning into a Weatherby. Just a boxy Pollock.

[Robert Kelly]

With a butt chin.

[Bobby Kelly]

With a butt chin.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

So go ahead, check it. Back to your children.

[Christine]

I'm reading now. Is Founding Brothers, Founding Brother.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it. Is it a big boy book? Or is it like a Big Boy.

[Christine]

Founding brothers surprise in 2000?

[Robert Kelly]

It's a short book, but there's a story. The Sugar Hill Gang. The Founding Brothers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it a short book? Is that the only books they allow you to get?

[Christine]

The Founding Fathers?

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, Black Lou. I didn't see if he laughed or not. The Founding Brothers. Is that the autobiography of the Sugar Hill Gang? The Founding Brothers. Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a good one. Thank you. The Founding Brothers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Brothers.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, this is public domain. This is 100 years old.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Mo tell. Cut it off, Lou. I'm not getting jammed.

[Jacob]

Wait, isn't the. What isn't the super fun thing about series that we can play whatever we want whenever we want?

[Robert Kelly]

Do you not listen to meetings?

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you outside during.

[Robert Kelly]

They told me they will have my ass so wrapped up in court over us playing songs for over 30 seconds that we will be fucked out the ass. First of all, we might as well give our contracts back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob. Instincts were right on the money.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob came in one day and he goes, I hate when you guys sing and have fun together. And I didn't like that. And then I played Freebird all the way through, and Sirius came in here and they started crawling. They opened my cheeks and they started putting their heads up there, and they were like, we're only supposed to play 30 seconds of songs.

[Bobby Kelly]

I felt bad because when he was doing that, I actually turned away.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby turned away like the fucking Blair Witch Victims. He just stood in the corner and waited for his turn to get some. And you know what? It never came.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never came. I just went on my phone. I was texting Don going, don, it's happening.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no, actually, Bobby. Dude, we were outside with Jim, and Bobby goes. He goes, yeah. And again he goes, I'm worried about you guys falling in the traps of, like, watching a video and not, like, describing it enough or talking about Just sitting there watching a video. And Bobby goes, yeah. He goes, we got to work on that. He goes. And he goes, but we always. Oh, that thing. If we're doing it. That's funny. We have like, the gym voice saying, like, guys, you're watching video. He goes, how about just don't do it ever? And Bobby just turned away and looked in a corner. I mean, he shut Bobby down right away. And then. And then he tickled my. He tickled my a few more times. And he goes, just so you know, I can crawl up there, but I'm not gonna.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it's so funny.

[Robert Kelly]

And he let me know, though. He let me know that he's in charge.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like, jim, you've been saying this for nine years.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't understand how radio works, sir.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, hey, Jim, Jim. When are you gonna get the hint.

[Robert Kelly]

Jim? I don't know how radio works. Stop expecting me to.

[Bobby Kelly]

We know how f u n works that.

[Robert Kelly]

Have fun right in this room. And I hope you're enjoying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, buddy. I can't help my son with his homework, but I can sure have fun with my friend Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

That's it. That's all I know.

[Christine]

Yeah. Great radio hosting, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Keep it up.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice. That was good. Thanks, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was one I didn't know you had. I never use it. I don't remember. I don't remember coming up with, hey, let's give pep talks to Bob. What? Christine's giggle, man.

[Christine]

Well, just to bring it full circle. So, like Harry Potter, I can crank out 100, 200 pages in a city.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa.

[Bobby Kelly]

But they're written for children.

[Christine]

Exactly.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't call cranking out when you're talking about a children's book.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please.

[Robert Kelly]

I can crank out a couple of Harry Potter before I go to bed.

[Christine]

Again, I would say teenager to young adult.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, okay. You can crank them out. You can crank out more to the earlier ones than the later ones, though, right? The later ones you have a hard time cranking out to.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, they're all starting to get underarm hair and bushes and shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, yeah. Their voices drop.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't like starting to explore their sexuality instead of you bringing it to them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't like Hermione when she gets boobs.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boo.

[Robert Kelly]

Get out of here. Get out of here with those noobs. She's going to have shitty attitude now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, when they all have the same chest, that's when you could crank it out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I like when you were a young, impressionable ginger who did whatever I said didn't ask questions you don't like.

[Bobby Kelly]

When he turned into a real ugly ginger.

[Robert Kelly]

Is she a hot adult? Did she become a hot adult?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Emma Watson.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she became really cute woman. Very pretty woman. Just like that.

[Robert Kelly]

She and stuff anymore?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Christine]

Kind of stopped acting for the last five years.

[Bobby Kelly]

She made a lot of money. Yeah, she's all right, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she's all right, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's doing art. Yeah.

[Christine]

She has a vodka company now.

[Robert Kelly]

She's a strong face.

[Christine]

Sucker. Cucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. Jacob, what the hell, man. Don't try to.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that Scott Disick?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's her brother or her boyfriend. That's gotta be. Oh, come on, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

She's. Oh, wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she's hot.

[Robert Kelly]

She's got a. It looks like a really smooth, tight pussy. I know it's a weird thing to say from a bikini picture, but. Christine, do you get what I'm saying when I look at that?

[Jacob]

Yeah. I mean, it is like a box.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what she's got.

[Robert Kelly]

It's all box, right? Like there's no puff. There's no puff. I mean that her pussy is a slit in the middle of her legs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It doesn't look like an English box. It looks like an American box.

[Robert Kelly]

It looks like a real nice, tight American box. Some beefer stew, swilling lippy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Some beer, warm beer drinking English box.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, just some Guinness. Flapping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Clam show.

[Bobby Kelly]

That one. Can you go to that one up right there? Yeah, click on that one. She's pretty.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at you, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do. I do. And I like that in porn too. I like when porn, they look at.

[Robert Kelly]

Each point of view porn and they.

[Bobby Kelly]

Know when they look at each other and they make out.

[Robert Kelly]

I hate point of view porn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

No, not. Not point of view. You're talking about something different.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like point of view. Point.

[Robert Kelly]

You like loving sex is what you're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a girl. I follow a woman, I follow that she talks to you. Here's a scenario. The husband goes up into the. There's a party downstairs. The husband goes upstairs to the bedroom to grab something. She sneaks in. Hey, what are you doing up here? And he's like, I just had a grab. And then all of a sudden she goes on top of him and just starts talking. I know we're not supposed to do this. I know everybody's downstairs and your wife's downstairs, but I've been wanting to do this for a while. She just takes a breath. Down she goes, is this bad? I know I know I shouldn't do this, but I just have to. Just take it out. I have to take it out. I know everybody's downstairs, but we do it quick. And she's talking right to you.

[Robert Kelly]

Pause it for a second.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that public domain?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. All right, 10 seconds left.

[Bobby Kelly]

Leaving money on the table here.

[Robert Kelly]

Apologies.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm out. I can't go back. I was getting too turned on. I was turning myself.

[Robert Kelly]

Same situation. What I like in pornography is in the same beginning scenario. Husband goes upstairs, and then everybody at the party turns into a raging sexual animal. And then they just take this lady in, and 18 guys have sex with her ass. She loves it, but they have sex with her ass and her pussy, and they. They toss her around. And then one guy fucks her and then walks off, and then another guy just comes over and just stuffs it back in also. So no one's got to be looking at each other. I don't care about that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's different. I mean, different strokes with different folks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay's about love and I'm about passion.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see the thing or, you know, Terminator timelines, But I saw a news thing today that was like. Was it Cat? Not Cassie? A male prostitute said that Diddy had Cassie say, ask him to piss on in her face and on her mouth. And she did. And he forced her to do it. Yeah, that he was forcing her to do it. Damn. Did he was in some. Again, these are like, can you force.

[Bobby Kelly]

Somebody to pee on somebody, though?

[Jacob]

Can you force somebody to ask somebody to pee on him?

[Bobby Kelly]

But if. If Jay said to you, christine, I want you to pee all over Justin right now in the pool, would you.

[Robert Kelly]

No, Justin.

[Christine]

Pee all over.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Christine]

Beat the out of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want you to peel.

[Robert Kelly]

There's the situation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, if he said peel over Jo Josh, I'm gonna beat the out of you.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you think the concern is the difference?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me ask you a question, though. What if you had to pee?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you were like, I have to pee. And he's like. He said he was just.

[Robert Kelly]

Sounds like you're boiling this down to get to goes. All right, fine, I'll let you pee on me like you guys expel all the other friends. First you go, oh, I guess it's just me, then. I guess I'll do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll pee on you. I don't want to get pissed. I don't want Ozempic piss on me.

[Robert Kelly]

I got. No one takes Ozemp here. Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry. Malingo.

[Robert Kelly]

Malingo. Malingo piss. I don't think either of those things are a thing. Ozempic or Malingo piss? I don't think it's a thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob. I'm sorry, you. What were you saying? Finish your. Wrap it up because we're talking about.

[Robert Kelly]

A girl peeing on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, something about you. You cranking it out to these books.

[Christine]

How vanilla I am compared to even. To even you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just. I like when they make out.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Because you want to pee on Emma Watson? What's going on?

[Christine]

Like the thing. I'll tell you one thing I watch. It's the most vanilla thing. It's episode one of Supergirl. She tries on the.

[Robert Kelly]

Her rewatching. Supergirl.

[Christine]

No, I'm not.

[Robert Kelly]

You just remember it?

[Christine]

No, YouTube sent me it. Like they know me. Oh, you haven't seen this since it came out.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's Supergirl on some prep.

[Christine]

It's. Dude, it's a five second loop. Like one of those quick videos.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure. Boomerang.

[Christine]

I don't know what that. Yeah. And it's just her and not the costume she ends up wearing. Just a. Like a bra and panties Supergirl.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Christine]

So I. I just. I think I watched it for 10 minutes straight.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you had the. The. The photos of her getting rammed up to Cheese.

[Christine]

No, I just watched that. I do remember those.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those are in those. Can I just say something? Those are in the mix whether you know it or not.

[Christine]

Probably. If you saw that. Her trying on the first costume.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where is it? I want to see it.

[Christine]

You do want to see.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Christine]

Even Jay, I think will say, okay, that's pot.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, the girl was hot for sure. She was very much fucked in black and white.

[Christine]

This particular costume.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Christine]

I loved on YouTube.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love the black and white pictures. I was so sexy.

[Christine]

I know. He. He introduced me to them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll never forget where I was into her vagina.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice wiener.

[Robert Kelly]

It's her getting actually such a beautiful pictures of her getting actually fucked.

[Christine]

Annie Leibowitz took it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but somebody took those for sure.

[Christine]

The third person is in the room.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Robert Kelly]

They have to be. But I believe, unless I'm not remembering right, his wiener is in her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but could he. Could he have long arms?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, like a selfie shot. No, I think you see, both of his arms are in it, I believe.

[Christine]

Long shot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Does he have. Does any of them have a little remote control in their hands?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's a good question, Bobby. I do think the answer is no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now why would you take A photo of you getting reamed like that. Is that for you guys to look at or maybe. Or is it art?

[Robert Kelly]

It's the boudoir photo shoot of couples. We keep looking up to see if Christmas.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just want to see it again while she's looking.

[Christine]

I'll wrap this up.

[Jacob]

I had to find her name first. It's Melissa.

[Christine]

Melissa Benoist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Supergirl Naked dick in her.

[Christine]

No, no, no. That's super.

[Robert Kelly]

And then also bra panties.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, super.

[Jacob]

I got you bron panties on YouTube.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Or. Or Supergirl trying on costume.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or Supergirl getting Melissa Benoist black and.

[Jacob]

White sex signing the dress.

[Bobby Kelly]

This right here. Is this it? Oh God.

[Robert Kelly]

Is this it? Jacob?

[Christine]

That was it. Yeah.

[Jacob]

This is it.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you call this out? Did you call this bra panties?

[Christine]

I don't know what to call it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a short shorts and a top.

[Jacob]

It's a long sleeve top.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's like a. It's like a.

[Christine]

Yes. And I said aerobics for me. This is like porn that's so hot to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Child porn.

[Christine]

You don't think she's hot there?

[Jacob]

She looks like a very child gymnast.

[Christine]

You're out of your mind.

[Robert Kelly]

She's very hot in arguably. She's very hot there. Also looks like a very flat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby and Jacob's getting offended.

[Christine]

Bobby and Jay. How do you think she looks?

[Robert Kelly]

Young and hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's hot and smoking. Nice little belly. She's cute. Adorable. Can you bring up the black and.

[Jacob]

White of her with a black and white photo?

[Christine]

Angry woman.

[Robert Kelly]

But why would you whack off to this?

[Christine]

I didn't say.

[Robert Kelly]

You didn't say. But you did. No, no one's. You just watched it for 10 minutes. That's more crazy if you didn't whack off in those 10 minutes and just stared at a thing. Looping is crazy.

[Christine]

Whack off then.

[Robert Kelly]

For 10 minutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

How long after?

[Christine]

I don't remember.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you're a two hander. You're a two hand guy. You like to pin the bass down. Really work the top.

[Jacob]

Jacob. I'm not an angry woman. She's in gym clothes.

[Christine]

I like athletic. I didn't know what to call it. I said her costume.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Stick up.

[Christine]

Sorry. I don't know the women garment whatever. But you know the fucking terms.

[Robert Kelly]

But if you tell. There's no reason to get this angry. But you did promise me. And Bobby bra and panties.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got me in jail underwear. Can I say something? Christine's defending you got us all worked up for a Bra and panties. And you gave us short shorts.

[Robert Kelly]

This isn't even underwear. You come to underwear. It's not underwear. This is what. The Knicks dancers would wear this as a full costume.

[Christine]

It's hot to me.

[Robert Kelly]

It is hot.

[Christine]

Okay, then that's what I'm. I said that's what's hot to me.

[Robert Kelly]

You're very upset for no reason. We all agree.

[Christine]

It's hot because your girlfriend's attacking me. Because I didn't get the right terminology.

[Robert Kelly]

We're all attacking you for that exact reason.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I just make a suggestion? Can you bring up the black and white with the penis in it so.

[Robert Kelly]

We can wipe our palissa Benoist fappening.

[Christine]

Just.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just to wipe our pallets. Let's all wipe our pallets.

[Christine]

I don't approve, but I'll. I'll look.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of course you don't.

[Christine]

I don't. Because it was stolen from.

[Jacob]

No, these.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's it right there.

[Jacob]

Oh, this one?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Did somebody color them?

[Bobby Kelly]

O. What the hell? This is what I hate about going to these sites. You got to watch five seconds of just terrible stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Somebody colored those. Now, Jacob, this is more spankable. For sure.

[Jacob]

It's not your thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's everybody's thing. Jacob.

[Christine]

All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Zoom. Can you zoom in, super girl? Yeah. Not. You know what? Very modest house, by the way.

[Robert Kelly]

It's weirdly enough, it says Annie Leibowitz in the back. Do you see that, Christine? Go the back corner. There's a thing that says Annie Leibowitz right there in the back.

[Jacob]

That's so funny.

[Robert Kelly]

Very strange.

[Christine]

Wait, that's not right.

[Jacob]

It's like a Annie Leibowitz book. I thought you were joking. I didn't realize there was actually a.

[Christine]

Book there because I thought.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm also unimpressed with her bed. Maybe this is pre Supergirl, but. Jacob. Yeah. I don't. You're getting defensive over something. It's just.

[Christine]

I'm fine with it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a weird thing to call Bron Patty.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that's maybe a boutique hotel. That's why the other stuff's in the background. I think it's boutique hotel, but I do his. His leg with the hair that goes all the way up to the top.

[Robert Kelly]

Benoist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that one. Go to that one with the. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Now, she should just do a porn right there. She's already done it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Now this is the one. We're looking at a photo.

[Robert Kelly]

Super.

[Bobby Kelly]

Supergirl. Not a supergirl but she's. I believe it's dog doggy position.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa. Hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they. Look at that. Look at his head.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't know. She's not Supergirl right here.

[Bobby Kelly]

His dick would be ripped off.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't know. Maybe he's super.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me ask you a question. Look at his arm. They did color it. His arm is black.

[Christine]

We know.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. They're black and white pictures.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

By the way, I know. Also, his dick is gray. You see that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. His dick's gray. And his hand. His arm is gray. Well, look at that. She's in dog position. She's really cute.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't even see her face. I just know that she. She loves it. Every angle.

[Christine]

Gorgeous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now scroll down. So little time.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, with some simple kryptonite, you can make her your slave.

[Christine]

Oh, you're right.

[Jacob]

There you go, Jacob.

[Christine]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. There's soft core.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's soft core. So, you know you like the little gymnast outfit better.

[Christine]

I like them both.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob. Jacob's gonna take a long lunch break today.

[Christine]

Justine.

[Robert Kelly]

You're making clothes.

[Jacob]

Hey, Jacob. I mean, maybe you need to look at porn more often and stop getting turned on by the gym clothes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Come on, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, dude. That's stupid.

[Robert Kelly]

That's crazy to waste your time with that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that. Look at her.

[Christine]

Waste of time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at her breasts.

[Robert Kelly]

You're spending 10 minutes looking at a girl in workout clothes where you could just smack off to her getting blasted apart.

[Christine]

YouTube, send it to me. What am I gonna say? No, I don' Want this? They know me better than I know myself.

[Jacob]

I mean, the choices you have.

[Christine]

Yeah, I get it.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, there's black and white shots.

[Jacob]

I wonder if somebody was taking photos or if it was a. It was probably like a timer or a clicker thing, maybe.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, good timing.

[Christine]

I honestly felt bad because it was hacked. So.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was not hacked. Those were sold. No, they were sold. I bet you got a hundred thousand dollars for those photos. No, she probably got $10 for those photos.

[Jacob]

Was a big hack, I think.

[Christine]

For sure.

[Jacob]

They got like camera rolls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's pretty great.

[Jacob]

Really shitty.

[Robert Kelly]

It's super duper shitty. But the world. The world adjusted right around it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Nobody really cares. And girls don't get like she does.

[Christine]

Villainized, but she cares. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something. They care. She's gonna care to listen. Maybe it's destroyed her life. I said I didn't feel that way. I didn't overthink that about Pamela Anderson, but she was Pretty wrecked by that whole situation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did it happen? What was it? What was the timeline when this came out?

[Christine]

I think she was on the show. That show.

[Robert Kelly]

That show is currently happening, but I don't. They wouldn't get rid of it because of that. She wouldn't be canceled.

[Christine]

It probably.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably got her more fans watching the show. Agreed, 100%. And if you were on a TV show and it wasn't doing good, I think she would put out a video of you and Christine going at it in your pool.

[Robert Kelly]

The Leslie Jones.

[Bobby Kelly]

More peoples go at it.

[Robert Kelly]

The Leslie Jones Fappening is life ruining. Yes, that was life.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's actually. That's actually dinner ruining.

[Robert Kelly]

Those are the worst pictures I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't have certain foods anymore because of that. I mean, hummus.

[Robert Kelly]

She looks awful. She looks crazy.

[Jacob]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

What? What are you wowing? Look at the picture. All right, you caption it. You caption it. She's so dark. Her teeth look jaundice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, if you.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not her. Oh, God.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. That'd be funny if it was Lenny. If that's Lenny's dick.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, I'm just getting butt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me see. I know that's in the butt. Oh, it's a white guy.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's what I do appreciate. She's opening the.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That looks like a. What is that?

[Robert Kelly]

Tell you, her cooch is more tucked away than I thought it would be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's grow up. What is that? Is that the cooch?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not her sleeping.

[Christine]

I bet now you think the athletic shot is nice.

[Robert Kelly]

The what?

[Christine]

I bet now you think the athletic Supergirl poses.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd rather watch. I'd rather look at my mother naked than see that again. You all see my mother naked again.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd rather see my mother scissoring. Your mother scissor.

[Robert Kelly]

Like sza. Sizzling.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

Sizza. Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is.

[Robert Kelly]

I forgot how jarringly terrible that is.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Christine]

To bring this all back.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

But now the book I'm reading, I. I cannot get past, like, a page. I'm having to look. One sentence had three words. I had to look up the definition.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Intelligent brothers.

[Christine]

The adult book makes me feel really dumb. And then I have to not only look them up individually, then I have to rethink. Oh, how did they mean it now in this sentence? And by that time, my brain is scrambled eggs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe you're. Maybe this book is just a little beyond.

[Christine]

No, it shouldn't be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why you're going from. You're going from wands and wizards to.

[Christine]

The War of the Founding Fathers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you going? Yeah, that's. That's like a whole different thing from Director Wes Anderson. Focus features and Indian paintbrush present the Phoenician Scheme. It's my most important project of my lifetime. Meet Jaja Gorda. We keep getting assassinated unsuccessfully so far. He's the most bold, most elusive, most wanted man on the planet. Help yourself to a hanger name. You're very kind. Starring Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threplet, Michael Cera, Tom Hanks, Scarlett Johansson and Jeffrey Wright. The Phoenician scheme, rated PG 13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. In theaters everywhere.

[Robert Kelly]

June 6. The wrongs we must right. The fights we must win. The future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are marines. We were made for this. McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's. Tender juicy and its own sauce. Would you look at that? Well, you can't see it, but trust.

[Bobby Kelly]

Me, it looks delicious.

[Robert Kelly]

New McCrispy strips now at McDonald's.

[Christine]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.

[Christine]

It's not just for celebr.

[Robert Kelly]

So do like I did and have.

[Bobby Kelly]

One of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do.

[Christine]

@Mintmobile.Com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per.

[Bobby Kelly]

Month Required intro rate first 3 months.

[Christine]

Only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail] you're going from fun it's not the last book.

[Bobby Kelly]

From teenage wizard angst to Fucking the Founding Father.

[Robert Kelly]

What words do you understand of founding brothers?

[Christine]

I can't remember one word right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Shiznit.

[Christine]

Perfidy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Perfidy. You don't know what perfidy is.

[Robert Kelly]

J. Wow. Wow, wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know what Perfect.

[Christine]

I had to look it up. And that's one of three in a sentence.

[Robert Kelly]

I think you don't know what it means.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know a perfect.

[Christine]

That's the thing, Jay. I completely forgot the definition after I looked it up. I don't. I didn't retain it, which makes me feel worse.

[Bobby Kelly]

Perfany.

[Robert Kelly]

Perfidy. Bobby, can you even fake it better than what you're Doing? I mean, you're staring down and typing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got a ring notification.

[Robert Kelly]

If I was the boss was in here, he'd be halfway up your ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

For going your phone like I was a ring notification. And he would know I'm on my phone if you didn't rat me out. You rat.

[Robert Kelly]

I rat everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now you are.

[Robert Kelly]

You think I'm gonna get jammed myself? You think I'm gonna sit here with my asshole jammed?

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay's a little rat. Now I'm just getting jammed.

[Robert Kelly]

I work for the company. Hard.

[Christine]

Do you not know what it means?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, of course I do.

[Christine]

P E, R, F I, D Y. Sure, dude. The biggest word.

[Robert Kelly]

Give it to me again.

[Christine]

Heard it before.

[Robert Kelly]

Spelled again.

[Christine]

P E R, F I, D, Y.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to say something to do. I'm looking. Root word. Perforation. Breaking through.

[Bobby Kelly]

Deceitfulness, man. It means deceitfulness.

[Christine]

I want a Jadis.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you let me try to break it down?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. I just know the word.

[Robert Kelly]

You looked it up.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't look it up.

[Robert Kelly]

It looked at, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was doing Max's words last night. It was one of his words.

[Robert Kelly]

Perfidy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Perfect was one of his words?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, for now. See if he knows what perfect he means. Why are you doing Max's homework for him?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not. I'm how he did it for me. I didn't know it.

[Robert Kelly]

You had to call dawn in a third party.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, whatever, dude. Who cares?

[Robert Kelly]

Grade school words.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not great. Don't turn on me because I know what perfect it means.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't even know how to say it. Again the second time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't become per. Don't be. Don't be perfect.

[Robert Kelly]

Putting your phone in your bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't be. Don't be perfect.

[Robert Kelly]

You're. You'd be a real person.

[Bobby Kelly]

I use it. I used it in a sentence.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna put your phone in your bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because you cheat.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have a bag.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a cheater.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have a bag.

[Robert Kelly]

You carry nothing but bags.

[Bobby Kelly]

I lost my bag last night.

[Robert Kelly]

You have bags for your bags?

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I am up, dude. I'm going bag nuts. I bought another bag.

[Robert Kelly]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't stop.

[Robert Kelly]

But for what?

[Bobby Kelly]

What's wrong, Christine? You should be on my side. You have a lot of bag.

[Robert Kelly]

Transfer. You have to transfer.

[Bobby Kelly]

How dare you bag shame me. You got me into bags. You bag slut.

[Jacob]

You came in here with the bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a bag slut. I didn't do that. You Got me into bags, you slutty whore.

[Robert Kelly]

Bag, bag, slut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bag, slut. Listen, I'm trying. If there's anybody company out there that does bags.

[Robert Kelly]

You need some more?

[Bobby Kelly]

I want. No, I want to make my own travel backpack slash bag. I want to make a bag.

[Robert Kelly]

The Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know the perfect bag. I know it. I know what it is.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't want to say it out loud, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't, of course. But I know what it should have and I know how I want it to be. And I've tried. I've tried to tank me here a little bit.

[Robert Kelly]

Go on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it should be actually. It should be multifunctional. I think it should be more than one bag. I think should be able to get somewhere and say you're going out and you want a smaller bag, right? Maybe a sling. It should detach off of the other bag. Maybe you want a backpack. Maybe you need a little more room when you're going out. Maybe you're going out all day. And you should be able to put backpack sleeves on. And then maybe you should be able to attach it to where, you know, it's can go on your back or it can have wheels. It should have some type of charging thing in it. It should be multifunctional bag. And I know it should be able to be held on your back. It should be able to wheel. It should be able to do a lot of things. And I think I want to try to design a seat.

[Robert Kelly]

A seat in the bag, inside the bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

A thing that flops out. You can hit, push, whatever, and it comes out and you can sit down. If, say you're at the airport and you're just chilling for a second, you want to sit down, take a break, there's no chairs. You can use your bag. I have a design.

[Robert Kelly]

Your bag is going to become a whole chair.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not going to become a whole chair. It's going to become a seat different between a chair, a seat, just a seat. And a lot, you know, you don't. You don't really need, you know, the new trains, they have little. I don't forgot that you're.

[Robert Kelly]

You're the new trains. What are you traveling by steamer now?

[Bobby Kelly]

I forgot that you don't travel by train yet.

[Robert Kelly]

What trains are you traveling yet, buddy?

[Bobby Kelly]

The trains in New York City. I use them all the time.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, subways. Train got. Sure, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I used the train to come. I used the train last week to come into New York. I got right down the street. I walked, got on the train came.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't love train travel. I'm with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not autistic.

[Robert Kelly]

No, not at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like your tone with trains.

[Robert Kelly]

You love trains.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why are you saying it like that? You have train tone because you like trains.

[Robert Kelly]

They calm you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. That's not what I'm saying. I, I.

[Robert Kelly]

You get to control your little universe when you have your little train. You're the conductor, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

You.

[Robert Kelly]

You're in charge.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm telling you right now. Dude, you're. You're being perfidy. You're being perfidy.

[Robert Kelly]

Turn your phone down.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. What? Fine, I'll turn it down. You want to be perfidy? Deceitful?

[Robert Kelly]

Your phone's the third mic of the show. You never turn your ringers off.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. My ringers are off, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

My phone's off. I can't use my phone. Sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

I would have to make a side bet for this.

[Bobby Kelly]

So anyways, you would know.

[Robert Kelly]

I should be like, I'll bet someone $20. One of Bobby's things. Tones go off during the show. On a two show day for sure. But okay, now you'll pay attention now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, but you know, I pay attention for like three seconds.

[Robert Kelly]

That is true.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I just go away.

[Robert Kelly]

I could still completely take this bet and you would not remember.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's four hours, dude. We got two shows today, and we're going to break for lunch. Ooh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And lunch does make us retarded.

[Bobby Kelly]

Unless we get talked to again.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

We get our lunch ruined.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

By Jacob's instinct, buddy, I'm gonna eat.

[Robert Kelly]

In the rain so we don't have to get talked to. Jimmy, you want to talk to the guys who are eating in the rain?

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have an umbrella? No.

[Robert Kelly]

Where's Jay? He's out there just sopping wet, eating a wet chick Fil A wrap. You want to talk to me, you come out here. I did everything. I've done all of your bidding, sir. Leave me be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. I guess Tears. Yeah. I just think that I can design the perfect bag.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, look up multiple functional bag. You and modular look up modular bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

Modular bag. I think that you should have. I bought one. And I have this, too, if somebody wants. I'll give it to one of you guys if you want it.

[Robert Kelly]

You already hate it. I've seen you bring it in. The white one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope, not that one. That. That's actually called pak. That's a. That's a modular bag. But it's it's great, but it's a little too heavy.

[Christine]

What's it look like?

[Bobby Kelly]

Pack P A. K. But the one that I got was actually.

[Robert Kelly]

What's it look like? Packs the word.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, look it up. I can't. I can't describe. It's a backpack, but it's actually like. They call it a weekender backpack. So you could go away for like three or four days with it.

[Robert Kelly]

Now. Could I adventure with this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. Yeah, that's the one I got. So it has.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, bags for your bags.

[Christine]

You don't like this, Bobby?

[Bobby Kelly]

I love this backpack. Pack Pak is one of the best travel bags I can have. And everything on it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, is everything. Vacuum seal. Is that the deal?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Now, that's the thing they didn't do with this is they do have a new bag backpack that has a. The. You put your clothes in it and it comes with a little vacuum and it sucks it. It sucks the vacuum seal, which I do love because I do use travel cubes. I do use all those cubes because it does make it easier to put your clothes in something. But I have an idea for a bag. So here's the thing. And this. This bag does come with a little sling bag. You know, the. The waist clicker, the waist support. You take that out and it's a sling bag, which is kind of cool, but I.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you wear fanny packs?

[Bobby Kelly]

I wear fanny packs.

[Robert Kelly]

You shouldn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why? No, I wear fanny packs.

[Robert Kelly]

It's an acceptance of age and not cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I like. I wear a fanny pack as a sling, not a fanny.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. You never wear it as a fanny pack.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have. Oh, Well, I want to be honest with you. I don't want to lie to you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not. I don't want to be profitty, but.

[Robert Kelly]

Don'T do it again at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm just. I want to be profitty with you.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't be profitting.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm trying not to be. And then when I am honest with you, you make me want to be perfitti.

[Robert Kelly]

I like that you're being honest with me, but I'm saying don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't mind. I don't mind it, but here's why. I wouldn't wear.

[Robert Kelly]

The world minds.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know, but I'm too fat still to wear it because my stomach hangs over it.

[Robert Kelly]

If you had a tight ab stomach, a fanny pack looks gay and dumb as shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

I beg to differ, sir.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I had a.

[Robert Kelly]

Show me any picture of someone rocking a Fanny pack where you're like, that actually looks cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bring up the rock you want to bring. You said the word.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

The rock with a fanny pack. Jim Butterly. Yes. Tim Bartoli had one on yesterday.

[Robert Kelly]

Nope, it's not cool. Tim's not trying to look cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought it looked great on him and it was. And it was all, all these weird colors that he loves.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah, no, he looks totally cool, this guy. Look at the rock with a fanny pack on. You're right. That looks super cool. His belt's also very cool. And it's tucked in turtleneck with a chain over the turtleneck also.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Pretty cool, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Murdering it. This guy would have kicked ass at pulsations on Bethlehem. On Bethlehem. Penns.

[Bobby Kelly]

He would have killed it at Revere at the palace on a. On a Thursday night.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Bob, you're right. Mimic this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby, I think you should start tucking in your shirts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

I say get a couple turtlenecks.

[Bobby Kelly]

A couple turtlenecks.

[Robert Kelly]

A couple turtlenecks. You're going to have to get yourself a herringbone chain. It appears.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's great.

[Robert Kelly]

And I think I might have one. And you've already got the watch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't forget the, the bracelet that matches the necklace.

[Robert Kelly]

Bracelet from the necklace. And also if you could, and I want you to think hard about this, I'm thinking a metal tipped belt. The end of the belt maybe has a metal tip. Like cowboyish, A little cowboyish. And if you really want to go for it, if you're feeling crazy behind that fanny pack, maybe you take the belt for a little trip underneath the front of the belt, up over, tuck.

[Bobby Kelly]

It down like a knot. Like a belt knot.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe a little belt knot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, hey, look down here. That's where the action's at.

[Robert Kelly]

That's absolutely right. All arrows point towards your fat dick living behind this gay ass fanny pack full of, I guess a colostomy bag. What's in there? What do you keep in there? I would always guess the colostomy bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm. I don't really like a To. To. All joking aside, not to be profanity, but I like.

[Robert Kelly]

If you just keep saying it, well, eventually it's going to be used, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. I like, I like the sling bags the best. I'm a big sling bag guy. I love a sling bag.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

And the pro. I just bought a sling bag that is multifunctional. It has a bunch of different things. So it becomes, it become. It's a sling bag that becomes a duffel bag that actually you can click on a thing to put your laptop in, and then on the back of that, it has backpack straps that you can get onto it too. So it can become three different. Three different bags.

[Robert Kelly]

Where do you need all these different functionalities? That's what I mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there's a whole.

[Robert Kelly]

I bring. Every time I. For a while, I had a Herschel backpack and my suitcase. Then I had something else I would bring. Oh, a different kind of backpack. Yeah, but you check in a suitcase. You're.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a checker. And you. You. You have. Excuse me, You're a checker.

[Robert Kelly]

Checker, checker. Whoa. Checker, checker, check.

[Bobby Kelly]

You check your bags.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but just watch it. Just.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a checker.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, hang on. Slow down. Slow down, bro. Oh, Black Lou's in the picture.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's up, Black Lou? What's happening?

[Robert Kelly]

Check, checker, checker, check, checker. I don't like this. I feel like I'm gonna get an ass jam on this one. I feel an ass jam coming.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jim's gonna get an umbrella. Hey, listen, I know you're eating out here in the wet.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, I noticed you're over here eating soaking wet, trying to avoid a conversation.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. You check your bag, dude. So you. I don't like checking bags at all. I like going in, going right through security, getting to the lounge, going to the plane, getting on the plane, getting off the plane, going right out to the car. I don't want to wait for the bag. I don't want to check a bag. You smoke, you like to check the bag. Go have a cigarette. I'm a. Get the fuck through it all, get on the plane, get the fuck off.

[Robert Kelly]

And then futz around with a fucking four tiered bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I have it. I have. Well, no, I have it. So it's. I can go on. I would like a bag that I go on the plane, unclick underneath the seat, and the other one goes on top, and I'm done.

[Robert Kelly]

Like a transformer. I don't ever have anything that I need to have under the seat in front of me.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? I just bought a transformer. No. And I'm gonna get in trouble for what?

[Robert Kelly]

Is this a slingback slash parachute slash umbrella?

[Bobby Kelly]

You remember the bag? Christine? Yes, Louis. What are we staring at? The Pharrell.

[Jacob]

Is that the new bag that you got?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I'm gonna. I think I got it.

[Robert Kelly]

You think you're gonna get it?

[Jacob]

You think you got it or you're gonna get it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm. I'm you know I'm gonna get it.

[Jacob]

You're gonna get it? You don't have it yet?

[Bobby Kelly]

I haven't got it yet, and I haven't had it found because I. I don't. Well, are you. What are you getting your phone for? Put your phone down.

[Jacob]

I was looking at the back.

[Bobby Kelly]

You see. Oh, I thought you were texting D. Your husband's a rat.

[Robert Kelly]

Text on. Let's call dawn, see if she's okay with it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you out of your mind?

[Robert Kelly]

It's better if we bring it to her together.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are a rat.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not saying I'm not gonna tell her behind your back. I'm saying let's call her and tell her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do not tell her. She will murder me.

[Robert Kelly]

She's gonna murder. If she finds out that you did it behind her back.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, if I get it and it shows up, if, like, I. I'll be like, look, I had to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Would you rather have this bag or cheat?

[Bobby Kelly]

Cheat.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, then just cheat. Okay, you can tell her, and then if she ever catches you cheating, you can go, well, I didn't get this bag. And then I bet that she will. Why don't we ask Dawn? Would she rather you spend $3,000 on a bag? I'm guessing, by the way, or would she rather. Really? Would you rather spend that money on a bag? Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it too much?

[Robert Kelly]

You've got 7,000 bags. You don't have that much stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna give away a few of my bags.

[Robert Kelly]

Giving them away is crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you want a bag?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I've got plenty of bags.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shut up. Just take a bag, you piece of. I don't like any more bags. Just take it. You got a new house. You can store it.

[Robert Kelly]

What? That's it. She's gonna take up space.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want a bag now? I have given away that one, buddy. The pack. No, I'm not giving away the pack, but I do have. Do you want one?

[Christine]

I don't want any.

[Robert Kelly]

I have a garment bag. I got a couple of. I got a couple of reusable wawa bags they give you now out in Jersey. They don't give you bags, just buy reusable usables.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, I have an extra pack if you want it, if you. Now. But can I say something, though? I have a bag system that is a travel bag with wheels with a backpack that goes on it with a.

[Robert Kelly]

Lawn and leaf bag, zips on in between it and a body bag inside that I love, and then a jimmy hat inside of that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that. Dude. Look at that.

[Robert Kelly]

And then inside of that, the tiniest finger. Condoms.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that.

[Christine]

Travel bag is what I looking for.

[Robert Kelly]

What, this black woman? Is that Leslie Jones?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's a guy, first of all. And it's not Leslie Jones.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the bag you're going to get.

[Bobby Kelly]

How awesome is that?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

How awesome is it?

[Robert Kelly]

It's nice, isn't it? Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

And here's the thing with this. They're not making one. Once this bag's gone, you can't get it. You're going to have to buy it in the gray market, and then it's going to go up to whatever.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you think? Call her. Daddy's talking about today. Just masculine. Just talking about fucking pussy and working out. We're over here talking about fucking bags and deciding if underwear is underwear or workout clothes.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're talking about. First of all, we're talking about. We're talking about Supergirl, we're talking about magic, we're talking about big words, and we're talking about traveling and how to be a man and travel. So this is all tech. This is all manly shit.

[Robert Kelly]

There's nothing tech about what we're talking about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, travel bag. Black. Lou, back black me up.

[Robert Kelly]

You're talking about a Louis Vuitton bag that your wife's gonna beat you up for getting.

[Bobby Kelly]

When you travel, Lou, you need a certain bag. You need a tr. Like a tech bag to carry all your stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Text on right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? I can't use my.

[Robert Kelly]

Would you rather me. Let me see that thing again? Let me see that price. Just go to it. Okay. There we go. Here's what I want you to say.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Would you rather have me spend this much. You see what it is?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

On a bag or cheat a few times.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, she's gonna say both.

[Robert Kelly]

Now what would she rather. That's not true. Dawn does not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hi, Don. You're on the radio.

[Christine]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

We need content. Listen, baby, can I ask you a question? Okay. Do you know that black Louis Vuitton bag that I like a lot? The duffel thing? Yeah. Yeah. Would you rather have me get that or.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, wait, wait. You gotta tell her how much it costs. We'll blank it and post.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. It's. How much is it? It's, ah, dollars. Or. Or would you rather have me cheat a couple times? Twice. I'd rather you have the bag, but you're not getting the bag. Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. You're not getting either.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. You get nothing. What are you. Will you get nothing, sir. All right. Yeah. I Get nothing. All right. Get me a. Give me some snacks for tonight.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I just find you a stink.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. Thank you. All right. All right. I love you.

[Robert Kelly]

Now I am looking at those track pants.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bye. Dude, those track pants are hot, dude. How much are those? Let's get those. You get the pants, I'll get the bag.

[Jacob]

2300.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Come on, dude, let me tell you something.

[Robert Kelly]

Designer clothes is a whole different level, buddy. These are 40 sweatpants I'm wearing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, maybe I don't care about clothes as much as I care about travel bags.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. You can only carry one at a time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a bag freak, man. I'm a bag like Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine's a bag, you guys. But she's, you know. Come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's a bag slot. You know that. You're a bag slut. Admit it.

[Jacob]

I'm not that much of a bag slut. There's a couple pieces. She has zero over the years. She has a few gifts that I've received from my boyfriend.

[Robert Kelly]

She has zero financial responsibility.

[Bobby Kelly]

But there's. There's. There's gifts that you want that he knows to get you because you're a bag.

[Jacob]

I've actually never shown.

[Robert Kelly]

I cannot buy this. Another bag. It's so stupid at this point.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many bags do you have?

[Robert Kelly]

This is.

[Jacob]

Yeah, this isn't good.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a lot, right?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I don't think it's even that. I mean, like, it's like five. Well, I was gonna say bags all together probably a ton, but I mean, there's probably bags in there that cost like 20 bucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I have those bags, too. I have those bags. Yeah, I like bags.

[Robert Kelly]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know, dude. Why do you like nose rings and fingernail polish?

[Jacob]

Because they always fit.

[Robert Kelly]

Because I look dope. It's actually not a bad reason. They all.

[Jacob]

It always fits.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like it. I don't. Look a guy with fingernail polish tell me I'm looking for orange peel wearing a bag around my waist.

[Robert Kelly]

You will. You will. If I put a bag around my waist with these nails, I'd be a full blown lady.

[Bobby Kelly]

Some say Odoo business management software is like fertilizer because of the way it promotes growth. Some say Odoo is like a magic beanstalk scaling with you while being magically affordable. And some say Odoo's programs for manufacturing, accounting and more are like building blocks for creating a custom software suite. But I say Odoo is all of it. Fertilizer, magic beanstalk building blocks. For business. Yeah, Odoo. Exactly what every business needs. Sign [e-mail] that's O-O-O.com. @ Designer Shoe Warehouse, we believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything.

[Christine]

From first steps to first dates, from all nighters to all time personal best.

[Bobby Kelly]

From building yellow forts to building a.

[Christine]

Life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at bragworthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com.