Fun Soundtracks For Tragedies

Summary

Podcast Summary: Fun Soundtracks For Tragedies | The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Episode Information

• Title: Fun Soundtracks For Tragedies
• Release Date: November 29, 2024
• Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
• Platform: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103

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1. Iggy Pop’s Aging and Physical Appearance

The episode kicks off with Big Jay and Robert delving into a humorous critique of Iggy Pop’s aging process. Their banter highlights the contrast between Iggy Pop’s iconic youthful physique and his current state.

• Big Jay Oakerson [01:23]: "Who was the lead singer of this. What's his name, right?"
• Robert Kelly [02:02]: "It's disgusting. He looks like tan mom now."

They discuss how aging affects public figures, using Iggy Pop as their primary example, blending humor with candid observations.

2. Satirical Take on Schindler’s List and Soundtrack Juxtaposition

The hosts shift gears to discuss the film Schindler’s List, offering a satirical perspective on how soundtracks can alter the perception of tragic events.

• Big Jay Oakerson [07:42]: "I've played this game so many times. Soundtrack means everything."
• Robert Kelly [08:00]: "It's all soundtrack. It's all sound."

They humorously suggest that adding upbeat music to historical tragedies could trivialize their gravity, emphasizing the importance of appropriate soundtracks in storytelling.

3. Fashion and Personal Style Conversations

Big Jay and Robert engage in a lively discussion about fashion, particularly focusing on unconventional styles and the concept of self-expression through clothing.

• Robert Kelly [04:04]: "I like a thin suspenders, man."
• Big Jay Oakerson [35:30]: "I'm gonna get a nice, expensive fur coat."

Their conversation explores various fashion statements, from suspenders to fur coats, highlighting their playful takes on personal style and societal perceptions.

4. Nostalgia for Classic Video Games vs. Modern Mobile Games

The hosts reminisce about classic video games like Quake and Contra, contrasting them with their frustrations towards modern mobile games such as Candy Crush.

• Big Jay Oakerson [49:11]: "Just like flick another bird at the thing. Oh, I'll aim the bird at that part and see if that."
• Robert Kelly [50:05]: "Quake was insane. Quake was great."

They express nostalgia for the immersive and skill-based gameplay of older titles while critiquing the simplicity and repetitiveness of contemporary mobile gaming.

5. Humorous Anecdotes and Personal Stories

Throughout the episode, Big Jay and Robert share personal stories and anecdotes, infusing the conversation with humor and relatable experiences.

• Robert Kelly [19:26]: "Peanut butter, which I'm very excited about."
• Big Jay Oakerson [25:53]: "I was banging during AIDS. Yeah, I was banging."

These segments showcase their chemistry and ability to turn personal experiences into comedic narratives, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.

6. Technology and Gaming Gadgets Discussion

The hosts explore the intersection of technology and gaming, discussing gadgets like the Woojer vest and their implications for immersive gaming experiences.

• Robert Kelly [56:33]: "It actually. You can feel people coming up behind you."
• Big Jay Oakerson [57:08]: "It's called the woojer vest."

Their conversation highlights the advancements in gaming technology, blending fascination with their trademark humor to critique and appreciate new innovations.

7. Reflections on Social Issues with a Comedic Twist

Big Jay and Robert tackle serious social issues, such as AIDS and racism, but approach them with their unique comedic lens, making the discussions both thought-provoking and entertaining.

• Big Jay Oakerson [15:32]: "We can't have Magic Johnson."
• Robert Kelly [25:44]: "It was like the same thing as Covid."

While addressing these topics, they balance sensitivity with humor, aiming to shed light on important issues without losing their comedic essence.

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Notable Quotes:

• Big Jay Oakerson [07:42]: "Soundtrack means everything."
• Robert Kelly [25:44]: "It was like the same thing as Covid."
• Big Jay Oakerson [35:30]: "I'm gonna get a nice, expensive fur coat."
• Robert Kelly [50:05]: "Quake was insane. Quake was great."

Conclusion In "Fun Soundtracks For Tragedies," Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly navigate a myriad of topics ranging from celebrity aging and historical film critiques to fashion, gaming nostalgia, technology, and social issues. Their blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and satirical commentary provides an engaging and entertaining listening experience. The episode exemplifies their ability to discuss diverse subjects candidly while maintaining a comedic undertone, making it accessible and enjoyable for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

I don't have hair.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Who was the lead singer of this. What's his name, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Iggy Pop.

[Robert Kelly]

Iggy Pop. Y. I always wanted his body.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Even now?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, now.

[Big J Okerson]

Nope. You would take it now.

[Robert Kelly]

You're absolutely right. You know what? I'm backing out of that. I would take it right now.

[Big J Okerson]

His current right now body you would take right now. He's substantially older than you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, 100%.

[Big J Okerson]

I would too.

[Robert Kelly]

But his body back. That punk. Punk rock.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. So skinny.

[Robert Kelly]

Just skinny.

[Big J Okerson]

He popped in roll.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean. I mean, I don't know if I take it now. Dude. I'm gonna take that back. Hang on one second. I'm gonna. I'm. That looks like fucking somebody's grandmother in Florida naked.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but you're watching motion shots. These are candidates. If you just saw a picture of him, it's all right. You know what? It's terrible.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not good now, dude, I'm going to take it back. We're looking at his body now on the. What is this? The interweb?

[Christine]

Yes, Interweb.

[Robert Kelly]

The Interweb. And it's disgusting. He looks like tan mom.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he doesn't like Tan Mom.

[Robert Kelly]

He looks like Tan mom now.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it.

[Robert Kelly]

But back in the day, I mean, his body was sick.

[Christine]

I mean, he looks great in the suit here.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

As long as you cover up those saggy tan.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you gotta get rid of those flaps.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But I'll tell you what, he hung in there pretty good. Bring up the Lust for Life video. He was already old by this point.

[Robert Kelly]

How old?

[Big J Okerson]

50S.

[Robert Kelly]

Lust for Life in 2000. 1999. I'm wondering, do you have to use drugs to get that body?

[Big J Okerson]

Probably.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And have bisexual sex?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I got half of that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

In my brain.

[Big J Okerson]

You haven't lived it just yet.

[Robert Kelly]

I haven't lived it just yet.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why. Yeah. See, this is. He was still pretty old here, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Fucking love him. What a fucking freak.

[Big J Okerson]

Turn this up too.

[Robert Kelly]

His teeth are just dying. You know, his breath sucks. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So cool.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he's so fucking. His hair, everything is just great. That straight hair that. You know, most women have to go to an Asian woman and pay $400. Spent three hours in a chair to get that.

[Big J Okerson]

Not him.

[Robert Kelly]

Not him.

[Big J Okerson]

He just had naturally ratty hair pin straight ratty hair. The way we all wish.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God, do I wish I had that.

[Big J Okerson]

And you will. Gotta say this, you're right. His body is goddamn atrocious. But he put a little facial hair on now and I'll tell you what, still looks pretty cool.

[Robert Kelly]

77 dress.

[Big J Okerson]

If you dress him up right, he looks pretty cool still.

[Robert Kelly]

If you put him in a little John Varvados.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Look at Christine's eyebrows go up. Because I tuck fashion. Yeah, he looks good. But here's the thing. Guys like that will look good in anything. I mean, like just those suspenders. I've always wanted those little thin white supremacist spenders.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yes, I hear you. The white supremacist look is an underrated look, unfortunately. It really straight through time, by the way. I mean, the Hitler army, the Nazi army, Hugo Boss. Beautiful, beautiful outfits. Yeah. And the bomber jacket, white T shirts, suspenders. It's pretty cool fucking look. I'm not a big fan of combat boots with skinny jeans tucked in. That's where they lose me. The bottom part. But the top part, that's where they.

[Robert Kelly]

Get me a nice. A nice blood red dot. Martin.

[Big J Okerson]

That's where I check out. But everything else about it, I've always wanted those.

[Robert Kelly]

See that, See the really dark diarrhea though. I've always wanted those jeans. No, I have jeans. The dark red. Dark. Martin. Dark.

[Big J Okerson]

Martin, you can get those.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know, but I can't wear.

[Big J Okerson]

Them with the bald head.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't. No, I. I can't. Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And your bomber jacket and your tiny suspenders.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it. I like a thin suspenders, man.

[Big J Okerson]

Hang on. Show some respect. Bobby, someone's talking. Uh huh. Okay, yes, if you translate. I'll tell you what. The guy makes a lot of sense.

[Robert Kelly]

If you translate that. I'm pretty sure it doesn't make that much nonsense.

[Big J Okerson]

Something about that was making me think the Jews are what's fucking me over right now. Life's going haywire because of the Jews. Jacob, anything you'd like to say? You son of a bitch.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Jay, you're Jewish.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You are Jewish. I always forget that. You are so not Jewish looking.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at all these useless cameras. That could have been five more Jews. These lights, these lights that we never use. It's two more Jews. What else? These computers that don't work. That's another Jew right there. We could have got so many Jews with all this useless equipment. That TV's never on. Jew. That's a Jew. Anybody who's listening who hasn't watched Schindler's List, just go watch the end of it. You'll get that joke. The started looking at everything you owned and telling how many more Jews he could have purchased to keep from getting killed.

[Robert Kelly]

Good movie.

[Big J Okerson]

It was a good movie. It was a great, some would say a laugh out loud riot.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I don't know if I'd say that. Oh, I would say.

[Big J Okerson]

Joel Siegel says it was a two thumbs up, wild thrill ride.

[Robert Kelly]

As good as old school.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. A tumultuous time shown in the most dramatic way with flickers of Benny Hill. The girl with the red balloon. What a big deal that was movie making. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, there was a song, Red Dress. Remember this song?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

99 red balloons. You don't remember?

[Big J Okerson]

Nope. You're putting a little bit of the cart before the horse here, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

I like putting the cart before the horse. Yeah, because you know what? The horse needs a break sometimes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. So we should pull the horse along. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

99.

[Big J Okerson]

99. Lift Balloons, the song from the, I believe, early 80s.

[Robert Kelly]

But one of them was red.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no. They show her luff means red. It's the red jacket is what she wears.

[Robert Kelly]

No, luff means red.

[Jacob]

Even this part, just seeing it now gets to me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Because eventually what you do is you see that red thing, like in a pile of bodies, right? Yeah, yeah. So that's what it was. I don't think Nena's 99 left balloons was about this.

[Robert Kelly]

I think.

[Big J Okerson]

99 Jews, 99 left pajoos.

[Jacob]

Spielberg stole it from Luna.

[Robert Kelly]

But if they played that song over this, it would actually could go with the video, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

I've played this game so many times. Soundtrack means everything. On Legion of Skanks years ago, we did the Watts riots where they were blowing black people down the street with fire hoses, which is crazy. It's fucking crazy what they were doing.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Put wipeout over that video, and now it looks like everyone's having a goddamn blast.

[Robert Kelly]

Right? It looks like a phone animal.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Looks like a fun summer. Just do me. Blast. Yay. It's all soundtrack. It's all sound. You can put a fun soundtrack over the holocaust for sure. How about this? Can you put the part where they're all on the train and the women are, like, poking their fingers to get blood so they can make rosy cheeks so maybe the men will like them and they don't get killed. If you put Quad City DJs. Come on. Ride the train during that part, you can't not get excited. I think I can.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I can.

[Big J Okerson]

I think I can. Come on, ride that train. Boo Beanie and ride it.

[Robert Kelly]

Can we please do that?

[Big J Okerson]

I. Christine, please. Train scene. Schindler's List, I think.

[Robert Kelly]

What a good movie, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone, Trump's back. They said this week on Yellowstone it was. They're going for it. The world's back, everybody. I watched it at least back.

[Robert Kelly]

I finally watched it.

[Big J Okerson]

The two new ones.

[Robert Kelly]

I watched the first new one. I didn't watch the second one.

[Big J Okerson]

There's already second one.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. I didn't see that yet. I watched because it's hard to find because it was. It's season five. I was looking for season six. There is no season six. It's still season five. Correct.

[Big J Okerson]

It's season.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the end of season five and the season five. So I was looking for season six going, oh, God. But then I found it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they're just finishing it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was great the way.

[Big J Okerson]

So you saw what they did, what they said, but they're not totally sure on that. Did you find the train scene yet?

[Christine]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

There's that right there. Train scene.

[Christine]

Well, that's what I clicked on, but I'm not sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, get to the train where they're all in the train. There they are terrified in a train now. Why are they before they pull in? Well, they're going to be going to gas chambers. But back it up a little bit.

[Christine]

More.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I don't know. Let's get to where they're on the. Getting on the train. This is Schindler going to pick out his Jews like he's picking up furniture. This one looks strong and healthy. Two more Jews we could have got Christine. Fast forward a little bit. Okay, let's get him on the train. This is where he's gonna kill a bunch of people. Oh, there it is. Look. A train of people going to gas chambers.

[Robert Kelly]

But some of them are giggling.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, of course, because Quad City DJs just kicked in. Oh, she's like, this is my jam. Look at the one clapping.

[Jacob]

Oh, here comes the girl with the throw set.

[Robert Kelly]

We're watching all these women on the train.

[Big J Okerson]

They just found out they're gonna die. But still.

[Robert Kelly]

That was a little Nazi girl.

[Big J Okerson]

Just let them know this isn't a fun train. Ride and ride it. Come on. Ride the train, you Jews. Ride it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if this is. They still look terrified.

[Big J Okerson]

No, Bobby, because you're not dancing.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, sorry. It does help with the dancing.

[Big J Okerson]

It does. Oh, pulling it. Pulling in the house. When I say ow, you say schwitz. Ow, schwitz. Ow, schwitz. When I say, ow, you say schwitz. Ow, schwitz. Ow, schwitz. Oh, the Mark Norman 12 inch remix. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it's still. They still look terrified. I think they needed to dance on the train.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Because they haven't gotten to the part where they get off the train and they're at the club, the Wooden Club. Yeah. When I say holla, you say cost. Holla.

[Robert Kelly]

Cost.

[Big J Okerson]

Colla. Cost. When I say holla, you say cost. Holla.

[Robert Kelly]

Cost.

[Big J Okerson]

Holla. Cost. I stop the music, Lou. Right back to sad again. Yeah, just like that. The Holocaust is one of the most terrible things in our history. Terrible.

[Robert Kelly]

They did have ramps, though, to get them off. It's not like they made him jump off from.

[Big J Okerson]

That's cool. You know what? No one does talk about the small things they did do.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, they could have just said, get off, and they had a jump off that would have hurt.

[Big J Okerson]

Even if they had to eat complete gruel. Always real silverware. Yeah, I appreciate that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. The wipeout thing was one of my favorite things ever. Wipe out, huh? Can I see it? I'm sorry. I want to see it so bad. You want to see those two things blended up together? You want to see my Big J miss Big J mashup. If you could please bring up Wipeout Chris. If you could please bring up Watts Rides. Black people being blasted down the street with hoses. If you wouldn't mind.

[Robert Kelly]

Now this is.

[Big J Okerson]

I have a DJ in my soul somewhere.

[Robert Kelly]

This is the Wash Ups watch. Riots was back in what year?

[Big J Okerson]

The 50s, I believe.

[Robert Kelly]

60S, 1965. And then there was the other riots, the LA riots. That was in 93. 93.

[Big J Okerson]

Could you do it because O.J. got off and Rodney King got beat up.

[Robert Kelly]

Could you do something to the Rodney King getting beat up?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

What song would you pick for that?

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, let's think. Rodney King. It's a series of white cops taking aggressive beatings on a black guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Well. Well, you could do the. Where Rodney pulls up in the truck and they rip him out of the truck and beat the shit out of him.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Excuse me. Reginald. Reginald. Danny.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. The white guy.

[Robert Kelly]

The white guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, Ice Cube, one of the nastiest lines in rap ever that I love in Natural Born Killers. The song Natural Born Killers. Yeah. He goes snatch him out his truck, hit him with a brick. And I'm dancing. That's what the thing. Remember they beat up Reginald Denny and the guy started like dancing around him?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I was like, damn, Ice Cube.

[Robert Kelly]

Did they start dancing?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they were dancing around him. He couldn't have been more of a hilariously long haired trucker guy. What y'all doing? I don't even know. Wait, what? I'm not part of the problem here. He doesn't whoop the. This guy is white.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a whole truck full of Nikes. I'm here for you guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Dude, I tell you what. I could definitely think of a better song to go along with the Reginald Denny beating than the Rodney King beating.

[Christine]

Christine, I can't find the hoses. I'm going through.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, can you just look up black people being blown sheep hose? You don't put Watts Riots. Maybe I had the wrong riot.

[Robert Kelly]

I think she's afraid to type that into a Google search.

[Big J Okerson]

Why? This belongs to SiriusXM. This equipment's not connected to anything.

[Robert Kelly]

Just banging.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, literally. I don't know if you noticed, but we were a nudge of a monitor away from being off the satellite. Christina. Also, could we get the picture of the girl in the red jacket off the screen? We know what happens to her. It's bumming everybody out. You can't put music to this. It's a Still picture Birmingham.

[Christine]

Birmingham.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. I forget.

[Jacob]

Potato potata.

[Big J Okerson]

I forget. Yeah. I get some of my black tragedies confused. Now. This is. Now you just watch it regular and you can see there's no argument here that this is absolutely up, what they're doing. It's terrible. Yeah. You can put the actual volume on this, please. Commissioner of Public Safety Eugene Bulkhana ordered police and firemen to attack the children with high pressure hoses, batons.

[Robert Kelly]

Horrible.

[Big J Okerson]

And police dogs.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Big J Okerson]

Images of the children being. They're all inarguably horrible.

[Robert Kelly]

And it's like firefighters that are doing it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Newspapers. No, they're treating people like animals. Provoking global outrage. Dr. King was also jailed during those protests. Crazy. And in response to criticism that said we could all agree. That's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Terrible.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not. Okay.

[Jacob]

I mean, the firemen are using firemen putting out a fire technique.

[Big J Okerson]

There's several people holding it.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I ask a question real quick? Did the firefighters have to wear full firefighter gear for this? I don't understand why they had to wear the hat and the oxygen tank.

[Big J Okerson]

And you want to get paid for it.

[Jacob]

Bobby makes a good point. There isn't an actual fire.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

If you want to get paid for.

[Jacob]

It, though, this is Birmingham hot.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, you could have just wore your hood.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Now, if you wouldn't mind, Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it does look like a fun time. It looks like a.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God, what a blast. Christine, get us some more hose work. I don't want to see Dr. King bumming me out. Woo. Banner. Oh, everyone's going. I'm going back to the back of the line. I'm going again. Oh, break it down. Everyone's getting a little whip behind the ear. Fire hose challenge. Hashtag firehose challenge. See, the point really just is, Bobby. It's all really high. You look at things, perspective, you know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

It's all the sound bed is what you're saying.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the sound bed.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the background music.

[Big J Okerson]

It was a black man. We could all agree that that was a. It's a horrific event that was happening there. Yes, Terrible. But that did not look fun. When you throw a little music behind, it looks so fun.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd jump in.

[Big J Okerson]

I would jump in a heartbeat. Go, me, me and get out of here. You're not white. And I'd be like, that's racist.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not black.

[Big J Okerson]

And then I'd stir up racism against white people for not letting us get in the hose. They wouldn't even hose me. I was the only white kid in the neighborhood. I couldn't even go in the hose. That's how they treated me.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, can I just say something, too? Back then, much better sign making.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, they had.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, that. Look at that sign. Equal opportunity. That's very well written.

[Big J Okerson]

You had to take your time. You had to take your time and go in there and really make your sign. Yeah, you had to make it. Now everything's computers. You can get stuff printed up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It's on a fridge, cardboard box.

[Big J Okerson]

Someone's selling a zillion of them that say the same thing over and over again.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, those signs were really good.

[Big J Okerson]

Jewish Gays for Palestine, which is my new group I'm starting now. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

I want you to know something. I bought 8,000 T shirts to say that in varying sizes. You weren't here when I started telling my new T shirt ideas. I have a warehouse, and every time I have a T shirt idea, I'm getting pure inventory. I'm loading up on 8,000 shirts per idea, and I'm going to keep them. And then I'll make my money back as we sell them.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

People are saying drop shipping, but I think that's too fucking new school for me. I say have heavy inventory.

[Robert Kelly]

12,000 T shirts.

[Big J Okerson]

12,000 T shirts.

[Robert Kelly]

And what is it going to say on it?

[Big J Okerson]

I already forget.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it was Queers for Palestine.

[Big J Okerson]

Queer. No. Jewish Gays for Palestine.

[Robert Kelly]

Jewish Gays for Palestine.

[Big J Okerson]

Gay Jews for Palestine.

[Robert Kelly]

Gay Jews for Palestine.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, Bob. You just. I almost cost myself a million dollars. You just saved me there. You know what? You can get half a million dollars for things I make for gay Jews for Palestine.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want the money. I'd take a pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, say no. Don't even say another word, dude, you got yourself a pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

You see, I like to arc it in you. Do I send it out?

[Robert Kelly]

You've gotten very Australian with your arc.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice first pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

I like when the pivots. It's nice when you see the pivot, like, goes away from you and then it cuts back to you. It's very nice feeling.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it feels like it was meant to be my pivot. Yeah, Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I let it go and it came to you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn. You get so much peanut butter in front of you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. T.J. miller sent us in a box of peanut butter of his new peanut butter. And I actually really like the container it comes in. It's plastic and he Gave us cherry chocolate.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Peanut butter, which I'm very excited about. And then he gave us. This is a toffee crispy.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Peanut butter.

[Big J Okerson]

Did he send us or did he spend this all over this table and shove it right up our asses?

[Robert Kelly]

He did not send us spoons. But I did not check the box. Watching Jacob carry a box of 25 things of peanut butter in the room with all his strength he can muster, was very, very fun. Seeing him struggling, opening the door.

[Jacob]

Well, I'm very muscular, so it wasn't. It wasn't that. I am in great shape, but I work out. I also had all my. My winter gear.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Jacob]

So it was. It was awkward, more than heavy.

[Big J Okerson]

Understood.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Carrying in the. The likes of an Eskimo.

[Big J Okerson]

Drew that. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you guys remember what I was thinking about peanut butter? Remember the second Real World? Was it the second one with Puck? Does anybody remember Real World going back? Puck.

[Robert Kelly]

I remember Puck.

[Big J Okerson]

That was San Fran, right? Puck and Pedro, who had aids. And the big argument over the peanut butter. Christine, bring out the peanut butter fight. Pedro was super Spanish and he had aids.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And he brought it up a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You know that I have Hayes. You know, I have me. And masculine say wades. You know I have Wades, but you know that I have wades. And you put your finger in my peanut butter. And that's what they're. No, no, no. It's not spinning. It's the peanut butter incident. No, no, don't do verse. Peanut butter. You put your finger in my peanut butter. That's one of my favorite impressions of all time. And I have weds. And you put your finger in my peanut butter. Puck.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Christine]

Oh, here it is. That's it.

[Robert Kelly]

He was very. I mean, talk about dirty.

[Big J Okerson]

Talk with the scars. I have A's. And you put your finger on my peanut butter.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, dirty. You have to be with a guy with AIDS to go, yo. You put your dirty skateboard figure in my peanut butter.

[Big J Okerson]

In my peanut butter.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm worried about getting your heads and having double eds.

[Big J Okerson]

I think he ended up. He died from AIDS eventually.

[Robert Kelly]

He did die.

[Big J Okerson]

He did, yeah. From aids.

[Robert Kelly]

He's dead. No, he died.

[Big J Okerson]

Peanut butter. From botulism.

[Robert Kelly]

From Puck's dirty film.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what? He didn't realize that Puck saved him that day because he didn't know he had a peanut allergy. And then you know what? I finally. A peanut butter. And it's what they mean.

[Christine]

Oh, wow. He died young, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

He died at 22.

[Christine]

That was like, must have been right after the show.

[Robert Kelly]

That was like real AIDS. That was like, you know, Tom Hanks, AIDS. Philadelphia.

[Jacob]

He died in 94.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh, that's before they had the cocktails.

[Robert Kelly]

Before Magic Johnson. Fucking.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Everyone.

[Big J Okerson]

Wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, we can't lose him. We have to give them the cure. Now we're going to wait 10 years to get rid of more of them.

[Big J Okerson]

We can't have Magic Johnson.

[Robert Kelly]

We can't have Magic.

[Big J Okerson]

That guy fucked so many white women. We can't have the world thinking that you're dead for sure. If you get this.

[Christine]

So this released he. The season he was on, what ran June 30th to November 10th, 1994, and then he died on the 11th.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

He died right after.

[Christine]

A day after the last episode aired.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Jacob]

Damn.

[Christine]

That's pretty crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

What is the ultimate thing?

[Christine]

AIDS flare up in a cold or.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know a whole lot about aids. Yeah. Splinter. Splinter.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. Listen, AIDS back then, though.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he's Cuban American. So he brought AIDS here. Where you went, Bobby. Remember? You went to the home of aids. Cuba.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not the home of aids.

[Big J Okerson]

It is now.

[Robert Kelly]

Actually, Atlanta is the home of AIDS now.

[Big J Okerson]

It was you went to the home of aids.

[Robert Kelly]

It was not the home of aids.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Oh, can I get some cigars and AIDS while I'm here? Yes. Bobby, bring me back some aids.

[Jacob]

I gotta say yes. Like, imagine you do know a guy has aids, but back then you didn't know. You're. You're paranoid as hell.

[Big J Okerson]

I would say you certainly get it from sharing peanut butter with fingers.

[Jacob]

Yeah. So I'm saying, like, if you're a guy, are you. Oh, you're gonna just take a guy with AIDS peanut butter and stick your finger in it and eat it?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I wouldn't even know back then.

[Jacob]

Yes, back then, when you scared.

[Robert Kelly]

You were scared to be in the same room.

[Jacob]

But this dude, he's saying, had no issues whatsoever. Just let me have your peanut butter.

[Robert Kelly]

It was Puck.

[Big J Okerson]

It was Puck. He would have let Pedro fucking raw dog him for $5. The guy was a bum.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Puck didn't even use toilet paper to wipe.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And he's alive, I'm sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Puck, I think, probably still alive. I think he got his shit together eventually. Yeah.

[Christine]

But Daniel, I think.

[Robert Kelly]

Adri, why do they say age related incident?

[Christine]

Pedro from the real world.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't share straw flu.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't become blood brothers. Even though he's super cool.

[Christine]

He'S still alive.

[Big J Okerson]

You can get dinner together, but don't Share a fork. And you could kiss him on the forehead, but not if he has a cut on his forehead. Streets of being friends with Pedro, tough. In the 90s, nobody knew anything.

[Robert Kelly]

Puck has his shit together.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no.

[Robert Kelly]

He's growing garlic.

[Big J Okerson]

I use Pedro's toothbrush. Then Philadelphia still starts playing. You shared a toothbrush. You probably got his spit in your spit. And now you got gummies.

[Jacob]

You have to defeat gummies personalities, man. I mean, this guy had no. No fear.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Puck or I. I believe Pedro had no fear. He. Somebody without a condom during aids. That's fearless.

[Big J Okerson]

Who did?

[Robert Kelly]

Pedro.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Pedro was fearless.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

But Puck, he's ate his peanut butter.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jacob]

Without a spoon.

[Robert Kelly]

I was a scared. I was afraid to women when AIDS was around.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It was terrifying.

[Big J Okerson]

Especially the women you were with. With penises.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never.

[Big J Okerson]

Aids.

[Robert Kelly]

I've said the guy with pink fingernails. I've never. I've never.

[Big J Okerson]

This is support for breast cancer. Nothing to do with aids.

[Robert Kelly]

Nothing to do with breast cancer.

[Big J Okerson]

What? How dare you.

[Robert Kelly]

I was.

[Big J Okerson]

I celebrate with the NFL. Breast cancer awareness.

[Robert Kelly]

I was terrified of AIDS when age was around. It was.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, me too.

[Robert Kelly]

It was like. It was the same thing as Covid. Covid and AIDS were so similar.

[Big J Okerson]

I stopped guys altogether.

[Robert Kelly]

You did?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, cold turkey.

[Robert Kelly]

Even blowing them.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Christine]

Wait, you were actually, like, having gay sex during AIDS? You, Jay, you lost your virginity in what, like 93, 94, 97?

[Robert Kelly]

99? 99.

[Big J Okerson]

4.

[Robert Kelly]

It was still pretty 2012.

[Big J Okerson]

2012, 2014. Wait, which. Which virginity?

[Christine]

I feel. Yeah, I feel like. I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

I was eight for each hole.

[Robert Kelly]

I was. I was banging during aids. Yeah, I was banging.

[Christine]

You're banging in the AIDS epidemic.

[Robert Kelly]

I was banging.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby used to bang people who went to the AIDS clinic. He's like, she's probably there for some paperwork. She probably just get some literature about aids.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but I was banging. That's when I was, like, into sobriety a lot. And I was going to, like, those AA dances and banging chicks with, like, three months.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

How do you not have hepatitis?

[Robert Kelly]

I should have got something.

[Christine]

Bunch of sober chicks block the aids.

[Big J Okerson]

Peanut butter was the only cure.

[Robert Kelly]

I told you. I went to a doctor because I had sex with a girl without a condom. And I was afraid I had AIDS just because of the girl. And he was like, do you. He's a. Do you share needles? You share needles, drugs, heroin? I go, no, I'm sober. He goes, do you have sex without a condom with women? I go, yes. He goes, do you have sex with men without a condom. I go, no, I'm not gay. He goes, no, you don't have it, you're fine. I go, what? He goes, it's so hard to get AIDS in a vagina. You don't have it as long as you don't have an anal sex with women without a condom.

[Big J Okerson]

So how did Magic Johnson get it?

[Robert Kelly]

You're not banging because he's banging dudes, come on. Banging, dude. Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that why you think his son's a little twirly bird?

[Robert Kelly]

My son. My son is. My son is not going to get aids. He's going to have a baby, but he's going to have a few kids, but he's not going to get aids. No.

[Big J Okerson]

Magic Johnson's son, His name should be aids.

[Robert Kelly]

What's going on, dude? A lot of Hollywood.

[Big J Okerson]

My name's aids. Fantasia. Oh, God.

[Christine]

Oh, he's gone full blown. He was really just flamboyant before. Now it looks like he's transitioned.

[Big J Okerson]

What? Shut up. Don't say things like that.

[Robert Kelly]

That's Jay in fucking six months.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn right, dude. I can't wait.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, Jay's gonna be wearing a dress like Marilyn, man. Oh, look at the. That's actually Jay's outfit. I've seen that outfit on you.

[Big J Okerson]

We just need one more. You're right.

[Robert Kelly]

You own that exact outfit.

[Big J Okerson]

I think I did Conan on that outfit.

[Robert Kelly]

Those are your. Your summer sh.

[Big J Okerson]

Pretty sure it's the after I wore on Conan. Whether you're scouring business financial sites or listening to economics podcasts like this one, you'll find there's no secret to successfully managing your company's finances. For the future, you just need PNC Corporate and institutional banking, whose team of dedicated relationship managers bring 160 years of experience, advice, and an array of tools and tech to scale to any size. Business PNC bank brilliantly boring since 1865. PNC Bank National association member, FDIC. When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones. I don't drink at all until 4:00.

[Robert Kelly]

We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night. Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks a few nights a.

[Big J Okerson]

Week, it can add up. And suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the Drink [e-mail].

[Robert Kelly]

An OHA initiative.

[Big J Okerson]

At Metro. Get an iPhone 12 with 5G and a dual camera system on us. Take amazing pictures and share them instantly and don't put up with life's yada yada yada yada like photo bombers, zoom, crop out yada yada and bye. You don't take yada yada in life. Don't take yada yada from your wireless provider. Get iPhone 12 with 5G with no activation fees and nada yada yada Only at Metro by T Mobile Switch now bring your ID and sign up for a Metro Flex plan offer not available if currently at T Mobile or been.

[Christine]

With Metro in the past 180 days.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you holding back on travel plans this holiday break because you're afraid of a language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel. I use Babbel all the time. I just went to Cuba. It was so frustrating and not be able to ask for certain things. You know what? I just turned on my Babbel app. All of a sudden I was speaking sentences saying good afternoon. I got to go in and say por favor queso which means please cheese. This app was amazing because it teaches you in a fun, relatable way that all of a sudden you just know words and they're in your lexicon. I'm learning Italian with my son. I put my whole family on Babbel right now with a quick 10 minute lesson handcrafted by over 200 language experts. B get you talking in a new language just three weeks and with the advanced speech recognition by Babbel it's like having a personal language tutor in your pocket helping you pronunciate whenever you open your mouth. I got Babbel. I hopefully know Spanish and Italian by the end of the year and I already know a bunch of words. I know a couple swears too. Not on there from the guy I met in Cuba. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription but only for the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert kelly. [e-mail] Bonfire get up to 60% off babel.com Bonfire spelled B A B E L.com Bonfire rules and restrictions may apply. Tiamo. Gracias. Somebody sent me a thing that you look like the queen from Melrose. You're you're slowly becoming the queen from Melrose.

[Big J Okerson]

What's the queen from Melrose?

[Robert Kelly]

Have you pull up queen from Melrose.

[Big J Okerson]

But I want to say me this is going to be Johnson and one other gigantic trans Enter Hoop it up this year in the men's couch potato league is hoop it up still come around ever. I think Hoop It Up's over.

[Jacob]

Only in la.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Jacob]

Magic Johnson's son dressed like Cleopatra.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

But he's not the only one. There you go.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

There he is right there. That's. That's Jay in around seven to eight months.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. We're in a mink Sherpa.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen to his voice, too.

[Big J Okerson]

So I'm like, whose Rolls Royce is this? Like they live. I was in awe. You know what I mean? And then Christine, it wind up being Michael Jackson lived right next door to us.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Cosmo, the ghost of Farah. Cosmo, introduce yourself. Tell us who you are. Because some people probably don't know who you are. Yeah, so my name is Cosmo Lambino. Cosmo Lambino, also known as the Queen of Melrose. Yes. I've been on Melrose 35 years with clothes.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you know, you'd go in there and buy fucking $3,000 worth of challenge.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna enter next year's Queen of Melrose pageant. I'm gonna take this bitch's title.

[Jacob]

What does he do?

[Big J Okerson]

What doesn't he do?

[Christine]

He's a stylist and he owns shops on Melrose.

[Robert Kelly]

Melrose, if you've been to Melrose, right in Melrose has a bunch of fucking weird.

[Big J Okerson]

He's an entrepreneur. Genius. What are you not understanding? Look at him.

[Robert Kelly]

Like all the clothes that the rock stars wear and all the people wear in la, all that shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at this. All right, look at this. Look at this. That he's wearing them.

[Robert Kelly]

He's doing. That's your dream. He's wearing a Kikiko blanket. Ouch.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not wrong.

[Christine]

I can almost.

[Big J Okerson]

Rachel, can you make me. Rachel? Is it Rachel Keiko? Is it Renee? Renee. Renee. Keiko. Can you please make me a full Keiko wrap around Sherpa with a hood, a very big hood and something. I just pull over myself and just really just dominate my area. Wherever I'm at. I want to be a real problem at an airport, if you know what I mean. Well, why do all these people not working help me with my bags? Yes.

[Christine]

I bet Josh has shopped it.

[Big J Okerson]

Huh?

[Christine]

I bet Josh has shopped at the Queen of Melrose stores.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I bet Josh has done other thing at the Queen of Melrose stores.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's see, what store? The Queen of Melrose. What kind of stores? Because this thing, it would make me uncomfortable at any situation.

[Robert Kelly]

What? That this person. This person, I don't know, her family or his family or whatever. The. Whatever Their family. Sorry. I apologize for not using the correct pronouns.

[Big J Okerson]

Good job.

[Robert Kelly]

Their family.

[Big J Okerson]

You're a. That's back now.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. I could say that that hurts. Their family, I think, is in the mob. I think she's.

[Christine]

That's what this interview is about.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Her family's in the mob, and they.

[Big J Okerson]

Want nothing to do with it.

[Robert Kelly]

They.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, not now anyway. I gotta go knock off a cigarette truck. That's about when I got involved in the Lufthansa heist. Yeah, part of the Lufthansa.

[Robert Kelly]

The soft white underbelly.

[Big J Okerson]

Cosmo. What's the name? Cosmo Lambino. What stores is Cosmo Lambino open?

[Christine]

It looks like these three. So we have Cosmo's Glam Squad, please. Cosmo and Donato.

[Big J Okerson]

Take us to all of these. Shoe. Take me to all of them. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Go to shoehorn first.

[Christine]

This is our boutiques.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

I know you'd love shoe shoehor.

[Big J Okerson]

Why can't I just see the boutiques themselves?

[Christine]

That's what I'm trying to find. This is a lot of merch.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he sells a crown.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

It'S just about their partnership. I just want to see the clothes I can go in there and buy. Do you have high heels for a man Size 14? Yes.

[Christine]

Oh, I bet they do have.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, get those ones. Go all the way up to the thigh. No, I don't want a muffin top on my phone.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at the sneakers right there. Those are right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. Yes, those are already.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Ready to click into a.

[Robert Kelly]

Tell me you wouldn't get those black and red ones.

[Big J Okerson]

No, Christine will tell you why to.

[Robert Kelly]

Why.

[Big J Okerson]

Too much puff. I don't like puff.

[Christine]

They look like rollerblades.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it looks like. Honestly, you get to click those into a whatchamacallit.

[Robert Kelly]

How much of those red. The American flag ones down at the bottom left.

[Christine]

These?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. That's got to be like, what, 500, 600 bucks?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm gonna say $7,000.

[Christine]

No, 229.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not bad.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not bad at all. Dude, get them. You want them?

[Robert Kelly]

I do want to go to page two, please. Oh, they did what's his name's costume for his fight.

[Big J Okerson]

Deontay Wilder.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, which actually made him lose the fight because it weighed 7,000 pounds.

[Big J Okerson]

7,000 pounds. Okay, now we're talking. I do like a cargo combat boot.

[Robert Kelly]

I do like a boot with a cell phone attachment case on the side. That is hot.

[Big J Okerson]

How about the one with the swizzly heel? Do you think they have that in the men's.

[Christine]

This one?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Let's see what sizes they go up to.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Christine]

No, the four or the tens and elevens are all sold out.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, oh, yeah. Because they're for guys who dress like women.

[Robert Kelly]

A 10, 11 in women. What is that? What is that? It's a gold high heel with a. What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

It's a lightning metallic heel. Gold shoe whore. Bobby, do you know anything about fashion?

[Robert Kelly]

I do not. I do not. I'm wearing Pumas, I think, right now.

[Christine]

So this is the storefront.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't care about shoe hoard. I don't have anything I could wear. Get to the other places. I want to dress like a fat Chinese heavy metal fan.

[Robert Kelly]

You're close. You're right at the cusp.

[Big J Okerson]

Yo. I want to wear leather crop tops.

[Robert Kelly]

Remember when Bobby first came to us, he was wearing like a leather mink. Like, that look didn't stick for you at all. What was it?

[Christine]

A leather mink.

[Big J Okerson]

Remember? Remember you were in like a fur.

[Robert Kelly]

Coat when you first started this show. You were flamboyant as. No, no, no, it wasn't a fur coat. Oh, I know what you're talking about, my little. It's a teddy bear coat. It's like. It's like teddy. That's not flamboyant.

[Christine]

Does it have little ears?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it doesn't have the little ears.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought it did have ears. What did have little ears?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I didn't. I've never bought anything with ears.

[Big J Okerson]

It didn't have a little nose and a little part around the nose.

[Robert Kelly]

It did not have a hood with ears and nose.

[Big J Okerson]

No, but like a little bare nose.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it didn't have a bear nose. I didn't.

[Big J Okerson]

You were just wearing a bear nose.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I didn't have any bear nose. I had. That's.

[Big J Okerson]

There was a bear nose. It was attached to the hood.

[Robert Kelly]

Then I had a. It was called the teddy bear coat. It was a little. It's a little warm winter jacket.

[Big J Okerson]

Can we make a bet? You make a bet that the loser has to wear one piece, three piece suits for the rest of the year. Next. Next year, every day you have to come in a onesie suit.

[Robert Kelly]

I know I would love a onesie.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, a zip. Up he goes, man. Bobby wears a suit every day. But that thing is disheveled.

[Robert Kelly]

I would. I would leave it in the studio and just put it on as I came in. Oh, right there. No, that's not my. I would. I would definitely wear that.

[Christine]

You want some panther ears?

[Big J Okerson]

I Want some panther ears on my hat?

[Robert Kelly]

When I went. When I did Alaska, we went to the first shop up in Alaska, and I did try on a wolf jacket. It was beautiful. Like a real wolf coat with the hood on it. That was. Looked like a wolf.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I gotta get it. Oh, it had the mouth.

[Robert Kelly]

It had not the mouth. I don't think it had the mouth.

[Big J Okerson]

Jungle boy. Buzz Bobby. Have a full, open mouth.

[Robert Kelly]

I would get a fur coat. Fur coats are awesome.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. I'm just spending all my money, so I think I want to get a nice, expensive fur coat.

[Robert Kelly]

You look good in a fur coat.

[Christine]

Yeah, get the one that you've had your eye on for years.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Christine]

Just get that one.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Christine]

Oh, I know the picture. It's like blue. It's like a bluish purple.

[Robert Kelly]

He's so. You're so gay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You're so gay. It's good. It's great.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I'm gonna have a. I'm gonna live a flamboyant year.

[Robert Kelly]

Would Jacob go? Was it too gay for you in.

[Big J Okerson]

Here, Jacob, Where'd you go? It's too game. We're talking about fur. Yeah. You think fur is murder. Did you go out there and throw red paint on a helpless woman? Was causing no problems whatsoever.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have a fur coat, Christine?

[Christine]

Fake.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, there it is. Yeah, but fake isn't the same as real.

[Christine]

Yeah. Can we really want a real?

[Robert Kelly]

But I know you love animals. But now when we were just killing animals to make fur coats, and there was none of them left, there was like three wolves left. Left.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

But now they're back. Like, every animal's back.

[Big J Okerson]

Wolves are back.

[Robert Kelly]

They're back. They're literally overpopulating a lot of places.

[Big J Okerson]

Whatever this dumb animal is, this thing's not.

[Christine]

This is chinchilla, I think.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, chinchilla. That's great.

[Big J Okerson]

I was like, rabbit or something.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it's. I think it is chinchilla.

[Christine]

A rabbit chinchilla.

[Robert Kelly]

That must be soft as hell.

[Big J Okerson]

Rex. Rabbit. Chinchilla.

[Robert Kelly]

That's. That's a pretty coat, man. How much is that coat? 3,000.

[Christine]

No, it was less than that. I remember I called. And when I called the guy who makes Wu Tang's jackets, by the way, he said to come down, get measured and everything. And whatever the quote was, it was somewhere around like, 25.

[Robert Kelly]

Because it.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna go to Anthony Aiden's for the glasses. I'm gonna do all these things.

[Christine]

They're on the Lower east side.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to take you to Anthony Aiden's.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I have time.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, man. Me and you, we'll go get lunch down to the East Village.

[Big J Okerson]

When?

[Robert Kelly]

Whenever you want. Let's go next week. Before.

[Big J Okerson]

What day? There's no lunch day next week. I leave. I think I leave immediately after work here Tuesday to go on the road.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not doing Thanksgiving, Christine, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?

[Big J Okerson]

No, we're going to go to my sister's.

[Christine]

Sisters.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm performing in Philly. I already asked.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, so that's fine.

[Christine]

So it doesn't have a show on Thursday.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, good.

[Big J Okerson]

No show Thursday. But I have to go down Tuesday night to do morning press with Preston and Steve.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, love those guys.

[Big J Okerson]

I think we're almost sold out most of the shows, but, like, I love.

[Christine]

Them too, but can you.

[Big J Okerson]

There's some tickets for. I think only one's sold out. No, they're not going back in the studio.

[Christine]

Oh, no.

[Big J Okerson]

But they want to have me in, so I always, like, if I'm in the air, I like to go do their thing. They're awesome. Preston, Steve are so good.

[Robert Kelly]

They're great.

[Big J Okerson]

Such good radio. Very fun, easy to do. So, like. Yep, I'm gonna go and do that Wednesday morning. And then. So. No, no, there's like. And then the week after there'll be a thing. But the thing with this week, I come home next week. I come home because I'm doing. I'm filming tires.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

On Friday, and then I have to come home that night. Go Saturday, Sunday, Houston. Come home Monday.

[Robert Kelly]

And right here you're doing Sunday, Houston.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. They didn't want to get rid of the weekend when I had to film the thing on Friday. So they just shift shuffled shows to Sunday. I'm sure they'll be empty. And it's going to be now a waste of everyone's time. But Houston, you're huge.

[Robert Kelly]

I did Skank Fest in Houston.

[Big J Okerson]

We did this game fest.

[Robert Kelly]

It's gonna be.

[Big J Okerson]

It'll be sold out, but it'll. Yeah, it'll be funny the way, but it's like. Plus, I need, like, the alone time on the weekends, too.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Big J Okerson]

Just hotel like thing. Just like a few days to, like, do nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

Just to be by yourself.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that one, I think. Well, I might have John Card in there with me, actually. I see.

[Robert Kelly]

Doing tummy time.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, definitely. Lots of tummy time.

[Robert Kelly]

You need some tummy time by yourself. That's how you.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how you decompress tummy Time. Yeah, smoke weed.

[Robert Kelly]

Smoke weed.

[Big J Okerson]

Tummy time. And look at nails. No, no, no. My nails are done on the weekends now.

[Robert Kelly]

When you, when you. When you're on tummy time, typing on your computer, things to look up and you look down and you see your pink nails.

[Big J Okerson]

All I see is my thumbs because what I do is.

[Robert Kelly]

I forgot you can't type.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no. It's not that you can't type. I can't type, but it's not the. What the issue is. I know what I'm going to on the computer. Just YouTube is up or whatever streaming service to watch something, Right. What's in front of me is my phone on Candy Crush. So I see my delightfully pink nails. Black pussy pink. And just see them working the buttons with thumb stuff. Candy Crush untying knots. Those things, those kind of games.

[Robert Kelly]

Untying knots.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I played Untie Knock game. It's great.

[Robert Kelly]

What is Untying Knots?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's so good.

[Robert Kelly]

I play the ball game where you.

[Big J Okerson]

Shoot it at the bricks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you have to shoot the bricks.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. That's always fun too.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't. I'm so addicted to.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a Candy Crush. I don't play Candy Crush untying knots.

[Robert Kelly]

I never got into Candy Crush. Should I get into Candy Crush? There's nothing. Might be fucking up my alley too.

[Big J Okerson]

Because I like tying knots, not things so fun. Come over here. Turn this microphone on. Lou, over here. God, I love Bobby, the knots.

[Robert Kelly]

I love when you get alpha.

[Christine]

Do you do Twisted Tangle?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Twisted Tangle is the one I do. Ooh, now you see, you come over here.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it is it. I mean, it has all the. All the colors you've had for your nails on the front screen.

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh, I have to update it a little bit, so just too.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I smell toot.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't fart in studio ever.

[Robert Kelly]

I smell toot.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe I smell bad.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, you smell fantastic.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't believe it's the update that stinks.

[Robert Kelly]

This is so anticlimactic.

[Big J Okerson]

So anticlimactic.

[Robert Kelly]

And all the colors are very vibrant. Fingernail polish. Is this where you get your inspiration for your fingernails?

[Big J Okerson]

No, Candy Crush would be more of that. Well, this looks more Candy Crush.

[Robert Kelly]

Pretty, pretty vibrant.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Here we go. Okay. Okay, now untying knots. So fun. You see, it just gives you what almost seems like an impossible twist up of knots.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Hang off. Claim my prize daily reward. Okay. Now and then, here we are.

[Robert Kelly]

This is a video game where you have to untie knots.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's so great.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so great. So satisfying. Bobby, look at that. Oh, and then when you get rid of the knot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It goes away.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, can I try one?

[Big J Okerson]

Try to unhook?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, let me try one.

[Big J Okerson]

Get something.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I got the difficult part, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

You have to do three full boards in this little amount of time.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Crazy slow. You're blowing it.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, I'm not blowing it. I'm not blowing.

[Big J Okerson]

It's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not gonna. I'm not blowing it. You're panicking me.

[Big J Okerson]

You're panicking. You're just going into this.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I go that way? Can you go underneath?

[Big J Okerson]

You can. But you did.

[Robert Kelly]

I just did one.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you got rid of one.

[Robert Kelly]

I got rid of one.

[Big J Okerson]

I know what you're trying to do right here. You want to get it through that loop, which you can sort of do, but I say stretch them and rip them.

[Robert Kelly]

Stretch them and rip them. Okay. Okay. I want that way.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, look, do a methodic stretch. You gotta do this, and then you yank it.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yank it. All right. And then I'm gonna go that way.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but it brings up a whole new board. You cost me a life. I'm not gonna make it a whole thing. You're my friend, but you cost me a life. Twisted tangle, but it's a good. What you cost a life. It's not a big deal. Who cares?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it sounds like a big deal.

[Big J Okerson]

It'll redo a life by the time I get back to it again. It's just you. My record looks kind of weak.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, well, I apologize.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, I failed on the first little part there. It kind of hurts, but. Yeah. No, that's. Those are my.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you remember when phones first came out? The Snake? No. Dope Wars.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't remember Dope Wars? No, it came out on the. It wasn't the BlackBerry. It was the. No. Handspring. Looked like a BlackBerry.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You had things that no one else.

[Robert Kelly]

I always. At that point, I always had the first phone. The newest of the new. Yeah, but it was a game.

[Big J Okerson]

Get a Zune.

[Robert Kelly]

A Zune?

[Big J Okerson]

A Zune. It was an MP3 player.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Never got killed by the iPad.

[Robert Kelly]

No, that was actually. What's his name? The singer came out. It was part of the zoom.

[Big J Okerson]

Was it a singer?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. What's his name? Fucking, you know, woke. What's his name?

[Big J Okerson]

Neil Young.

[Robert Kelly]

Neil Young.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's. That was Ponos.

[Robert Kelly]

Ponos.

[Big J Okerson]

Which was his own Zoom. No, no, no. It was his own. No, Ponos. Was like a music sister. Like a.

[Robert Kelly]

Like an iPad.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, like Apple Music ipod. It was supposed to be like Apple Music ipod.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, but he came up with a device too. It was like a triangle. It was a triangle device.

[Big J Okerson]

Did he?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Please see if he was involved in this.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he had ponos. Ponos. It was like. It was. It was a weird shaped.

[Big J Okerson]

It was odd to me because I am a sonos guy. But this is not related in any way. Ponos. What a weird thing to do on.

[Robert Kelly]

On Dope Wars. You used to have to stay. There it is right there. That's it. Pono player. He had a pono player and he was trying to sell that stupid triangle thing when the iPad was out. The ipod was out, which was perfect. And he. He wanted you to buy this.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll tell you what thing that didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

Fit in your pocket.

[Big J Okerson]

The patching packaging is delightful though.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the packaging is nice.

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta like that packaging.

[Robert Kelly]

It is nice.

[Big J Okerson]

But wooden case at Pono.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but it was a stupid idea.

[Big J Okerson]

It was very.

[Robert Kelly]

Neil Young was stupid.

[Big J Okerson]

Neil Young made his weird voice over. Everyone make sure the packaging is good.

[Robert Kelly]

Make sure it's not plastic. The environment counts.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, seals. Seals and stuff. Yeah. He seems insufferable. Neil Young.

[Robert Kelly]

Dope. Dope wars were you had to buy and sell dope.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Certain drugs. It was all drugs. You had to buy, sell drugs. And you made your money and you went from like a. Like a low level dealer to the, you know, high level dealer.

[Big J Okerson]

You got involved a little more in like game. You played Halo for a minute. You were into those things.

[Robert Kelly]

I was into. I was into actually Quake. I used to play Quake with Joe Rogan.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but all of those things, like, they were just never. I was always just like. I played my sports games on the console and then on phones. It's always been mindless. Angry Birds, Brick Breaker, Candy Crush. Like every time I get a game where it's more involved, like a adventure game or some kind of walkthrough thing on my phone, I'm always like, I don't. This isn't what I want to do on my phone. I want to have mindless. Just like flick another bird at the thing. Oh, I'll aim the bird at that part and see if that. Which is all stupid games.

[Robert Kelly]

I used to Quake. I used to play Quake on the computer before they came out with the Xbox. And you had to play on a keyboard with a mouse. So I had to learn like WS all that.

[Big J Okerson]

What a geek.

[Robert Kelly]

And I Used to play. Rogan was a big Quake dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, he was great. Him and Dane, we would play, I mean, into the wee hours of the night. They actually had a board where they took. You know, they took the characters, but they made them mini. So you were in a kitchen and you had to fight people in this kitchen. But you could go into the microwave, you could jump into the sink. It was like. Everybody was like.

[Big J Okerson]

So the graphics were ass, though, I bet.

[Robert Kelly]

No, they were fantastic. You'd be looking from a plant across the room on a windowsill and you'd see a dude go into the microwave on your scope and you could shoot the on button and blow them up in the microwave and make them explode. It was. Quake was insane. Quake was great.

[Big J Okerson]

Cut you out of it.

[Robert Kelly]

I stopped playing Girlfriend. No.

[Big J Okerson]

Real life girlfriend.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Max. I stopped playing any of the games. Is the year I had Max. I just didn't have time.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

I couldn't be up till five in the morning playing Call of Duty.

[Big J Okerson]

Quake.

[Robert Kelly]

I had Soldier of Fortune. Remember Soldier Fortune? Never played that shit. I played that all phone game also now. I never played phone games. Never was it. I was into.

[Big J Okerson]

I never played computer games. I would get so annoyed at people who go to computer. My friend John got a Macintosh and there was like a boxing game on it that you had to use the. The. You know, the pat. No, not even. It was like the number pad for. But one of the fighters was Rocky. Like, it was. It had. Great. One was a kangaroo. But it was the best technology at the time. But you were just like, it sucks not playing with a controller.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was a curve.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd rather go just play Nintendo.

[Robert Kelly]

I hated the curve. But once I learned the curve, I actually had a special keyboard for gaming. Wow. For my hands that I would put my hands in.

[Big J Okerson]

Remember you said earlier in the show, you don't have aids?

[Robert Kelly]

I tell you what I got. So you're right.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't get AIDS when you're fucking dweeb. Whoever gets pussy. Or you'd be lucky to get gay dick at that rate. We were playing these fucking video games.

[Robert Kelly]

I remember one night there was a girl playing. I was like 4 in the morning. Dom was in the other room and there was a girl playing. And you could talk. So I had my headset on and she was just like, hey. She had like a sexy voice. So me and her went into some, like, building as our characters and we. I jumped up on a box and she went back and forth with her character.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Like she was blowing me. It was really just a soldier blowing another soldier. It still did something. She was like, hey, come over here. And I followed her into this abandoned building. And your character, my whole team, our whole team was fighting over here trying to win this game. And my, my. I crouched down and put my little thing there. And she kind of just went back and forth with her head, her character. So it looked like she was blowing. But she's like, you like that? I'm like, oh, yeah, I like that.

[Big J Okerson]

Were you talking to each other?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we were talking to each other on the headset. She's like, you like that? Oh, yeah. Put it in my mouth. And it was just two army guys.

[Big J Okerson]

You had cyber sex while you were watching two army men have sex with each other blowing each other.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, I did.

[Big J Okerson]

And you loved it.

[Robert Kelly]

I not only loved it, I wish I could do it again at some point with. Now that the graphics are so good.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel bad that today was your therapy day. You already had it. You should have brought this up.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you remember Lara Croft?

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

That game, Tomb Raider, there was a sequence you could do where she would get naked.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

100%.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, bring up naked Lara Croft sequence.

[Robert Kelly]

Do it.

[Big J Okerson]

But no. Here's the thing. If you look up naked Lara Croft, there's gonna be a thousand things. But I'm talking about something in the actual game.

[Robert Kelly]

In the game.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

They wouldn't do that.

[Robert Kelly]

Why wouldn't they do that?

[Big J Okerson]

Because that's not how games work. They don't put in dirty secrets.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You don't know that.

[Big J Okerson]

I do.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't know games.

[Big J Okerson]

It would be a thing.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a fucking thumb person. I'm a full keyboard guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. I bring it up. Madden NBA. I'll make you look a fool, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Madden NBA. First of all, you can blow. LeBron James can take his dick out if you put in a certain code. He slammed dunks over a guy and his goes in the guy's mouth.

[Big J Okerson]

This can't be true.

[Robert Kelly]

That's true.

[Big J Okerson]

She has a great though Lara Croft from this fake thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Beautiful, man.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's a mod. It's like someone did this afterwards. It's not like in the game. It's not a secret in the game. It's. Someone did something to the game.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you can. You can unlock a mod and put it in and see her naked in the game.

[Jacob]

Lara Croft looks like a guy now.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Jacob]

What a original girl. The actress they give her short was Camille Ludding.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know who that is.

[Jacob]

Beautiful actress.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something.

[Big J Okerson]

Who is it now?

[Jacob]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

She can't even climb. She can't even climb up the hill.

[Big J Okerson]

Boy. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't get that. There's nine other lesbians pulling her up on a rope. I don't want a man's help.

[Big J Okerson]

Lesbians unite.

[Jacob]

Camilla Ludington got super naked in Californication.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh my God. But that was who the original game.

[Big J Okerson]

Was based off of.

[Jacob]

Yeah. She did the original digitizing for Lara Croft. She should have played her in a movie.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Jacob]

Stunning.

[Robert Kelly]

Who is this again?

[Jacob]

I remember this.

[Big J Okerson]

She has very athletic tomb rating tits if I may say. It's Jacob's type.

[Robert Kelly]

Little dimples on the ass.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, she has.

[Christine]

She has a back.

[Robert Kelly]

I like little butt dimples. Who don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You know, no one ever's demons are like. I hate those. Do you know what I hate? A really great ass with those dimples. Makes me sick. Call me a weirdo, but it makes me sick to my stomach.

[Robert Kelly]

I think. I think playing video games that they add the little weird shit into it is kind of hot.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like. I don't know if they do any of that stuff anymore. I thought was neat. Like in the baseball. RBI baseball in Genesis there was like a. If you touched like certain buttons, he would do a spitball. It was like a little square would open up and it was like you weren't supposed to do it. In fact most of the time it would be. They'd. It was like either a strike, like you would get away with it or you. It would be like he'd fucking rock a grand slam or something on you. But you could do it like once in a while as a spitball. But it was like a secret. It wasn't in the thing. It was like you had to get whatever magazine, you know, Game Informer magazine in the back would tell you that at one time. Yeah, spitball.

[Robert Kelly]

They used to have that with Tekken too. They had secret like a cheats that you could, you know. But you had to like, you know, you had to have like 19 fingers to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, everything on Nintendo I believe there was up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, ba select, start. Yeah, I think up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, ba select start. And that was 30 guys in contra.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh no shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah. That was the biggie for me. 30 guys. And I went to beat Contra. Kill that mother brain. And Metroid also. You were able to get a bunch of lives in Metroid. These games, I had that Steam deck. And I'll tell you, these games when you go back, like, dude, I'm gonna fucking run through Metroid again. And five minutes later, you're like, I have what looks like an actual basketball game I'm controlling on my tv. And the other, you know, I mean, it's like, it doesn't really add up. So that Steam deck, still, I end up playing, like, Mario Brothers and shit. Like, silly games, like the intense games I'd have to play on a big tv.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, Lou was Grand Theft Auto, brought his vest, and he has a vest that you can wear now with Oculus Quest.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So it actually. You can feel people coming up behind you.

[Big J Okerson]

It should be the most comfortable in the relationship that black Lou's wife has ever felt that he's there for the long haul. He's given up on purchasing things that'll make him look cooler. And he's super stoked to show everybody off his vibrating vest for his Call of Duty game.

[Robert Kelly]

I tell you what, Lou, that guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Is happy to have a family, and he has settled in and loves the shit out of that family. Family.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell you what, though. He wore the vest here. Didn't you wear it here? You wore it.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn right he did. He wore it here. He. Everybody tried on. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It was amazing. What's it called again?

[Big J Okerson]

It's the woojer vest. W O O J E R vest.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to say.

[Big J Okerson]

It's called the. No more I want to say to.

[Robert Kelly]

The advertising team of SiriusX, can you please get us some cool woozer vests and like that?

[Big J Okerson]

What are you gonna do with this?

[Robert Kelly]

I will wear it all the time. You don't think I'd wear that all the time? Oh, God.

[Jacob]

But the thing is, he's also wearing this. Just walking down the street like Tony Manero, playing music. It vibrates to music also.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Jacob]

Playing it on the street.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't help.

[Big J Okerson]

Who's gonna stop every three blocks to come. Sorry. A lot of bass in this one.

[Robert Kelly]

Ooh, ooh. You can't help but dance. When you put this vest on, it's making you dance.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't help but dance because it's basically like giving you electronic shocks. It's also. This is what they use in physical therapy to make your muscles stimulate.

[Robert Kelly]

I would hate this because if I bought this a couple years ago, I'd have to call them up. Do you guys have an extension?

[Big J Okerson]

Do you guys have. Yeah, it's like, you can't. It's pretty Fine. It looks like something you have to be thin to wear is made for something for such a fat activity. Hey, you want to never leave a computer chair the rest of your life? Here, put this on Skinny.

[Robert Kelly]

They actually have video games now that you can. It's like you're on a circular treadmill. So you can. Like when you play in Call of Duty, you can actually run and, you know, crouch down and actually run in the game. You shouldn't as your guy. I don't know. It's kind of cool.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. Go live life and stop being in front of TV playing video games.

[Robert Kelly]

You're talking about a guy who goes away and spends his most of his time on his tummy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Watching Joe Manneris videos. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Germany's documentaries. I'm not taking in the new hits.

[Robert Kelly]

I kind of like it. I like technology like that.

[Big J Okerson]

You're right. On the weekends, I do, like, hibernate for the most part. Unless I have somebody that I take them to lunch if someone's opening for me. We'll go to lunch or go around a little bit. But you.

[Robert Kelly]

If someone bought you that, you wouldn't wear it to listen to music?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Would you wear it working out?

[Big J Okerson]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

Would you wear it masturbating? Would you wear it watching Christine masturbate?

[Big J Okerson]

No. I would wear it if one day we were like, oh, let's do pictures where we. We all dress like Tupac. I would wear that over. I would wear that over a white shirt and have a blunt in my mouth and do like this with a. With a hat that's got a very long top to it that kind of flops over.

[Robert Kelly]

I would wear that to the beach just playing my music out loud. If you could hear love, what would it sound like?

[Big J Okerson]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Dad, I think we should. Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like.

[Big J Okerson]

[e-mail] an OHA initiative. @ Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive. The hatchback that took you cross country.

[Robert Kelly]

And back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Amica Auto Insurance. Amica empathy is our best policy.