Givin' The Pivens

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Givin' The Pivens"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
• Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
• Episode: Givin' The Pivens
• Release Date: November 22, 2024
• Platform: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103

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Overview

In the "Givin' The Pivens" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, the hosts delve into a spirited and humorous discussion about personal experiences, relationships, and everyday mishaps. The conversation is lively, candid, and peppered with the hosts' trademark humor and camaraderie. Throughout the episode, Big Jay and Bobby engage in playful banter, share anecdotes, and interact with their friend Christine, adding depth and variety to the dialogue.

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Key Discussions

1. Personal Grooming Tips

• Timestamp [00:00 - 01:13]

  The episode begins with a promotional segment about Sport Clips and High Five Casino. Although advertisements are intended to be skipped, they set the stage for the hosts' initial conversation.

2. Navigating Pivots and Host Dynamics

• Timestamp [01:41 - 10:00]

  The hosts introduce the concept of "pivots," a recurring theme that plays a significant role in their interactions. Big Jay takes away a pivot from Christine for attempting to initiate a deep conversation about first concerts, emphasizing the show's light-hearted rules.

  Big J Okerson [03:00]: "He opened and closed with this song, which is really hilarious."

  The discussion evolves into how pivots affect their Tuesday live shows, leading to considerations about resetting pivots daily to maintain a fresh start.

  Robert Kelly [09:39]: "We erase the day, and we go on a Tuesday live show that is a new pivot."

3. Health and Personal Habits

• Timestamp [03:00 - 07:00]

  Big Jay and Bobby share humorous yet relatable stories about dealing with minor health issues like skin tags. They discuss unconventional methods of removal, reflecting their carefree attitudes.

  Robert Kelly [07:36]: "I have a little thing on my hip that I want to cut open."

  The conversation touches on their aversion to traditional medical treatments, leading to funny exchanges about personal health management.

4. Relationships and Gift-Giving

• Timestamp [31:49 - 35:00]

  The hosts shift focus to personal relationships, discussing the challenges of gift-giving during holidays. Bobby expresses disappointment over not receiving thoughtful gifts, while Christine shares her experiences of balancing gifts for both Christmas and birthdays.

  Christine [32:10]: "I got you the Louis Vuitton wallet, right?"

  This segment highlights the nuances of maintaining relationships and the expectations that come with special occasions.

5. Travel and Accommodation Experiences

• Timestamp [36:00 - 46:00]

  Big Jay recounts his experiences staying in various accommodations during travels, contrasting hotel and condo living. He humorously laments strict condo rules and shares stories about mishaps while staying away from home.

  Big J Okerson [38:09]: "There's a balcony. Okay, but then don't no open drinks."

  The discussion includes anecdotes about dealing with uncomfortable living conditions and the lengths they go to maintain their personal comfort.

6. Entertainment and Media Commentary

• Timestamp [49:00 - 60:00]

  The hosts engage in a lively critique of popular TV shows and movies, particularly focusing on Yellowstone and other regional productions. They humorously dissect character developments and plot twists, weaving in their personal opinions and comedic insights.

  Robert Kelly [60:28]: "I did hook up with a college girl once."

  This segment showcases their ability to blend pop culture commentary with personal anecdotes, keeping the conversation engaging and entertaining.

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Notable Quotes

• Big J Okerson [03:00]: "He opened and closed with this song, which is really hilarious."
• Robert Kelly [09:39]: "We erase the day, and we go on a Tuesday live show that is a new pivot."
• Christine [32:10]: "I got you the Louis Vuitton wallet, right?"
• Big J Okerson [38:09]: "There's a balcony. Okay, but then don't no open drinks."
• Robert Kelly [60:28]: "I did hook up with a college girl once."

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Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Big Jay and Bobby demonstrate a strong rapport, balancing humor with genuine discussions about personal life challenges and societal observations. Their interactions with Christine add another layer of depth, offering diverse perspectives and enhancing the overall dynamic of the conversation.

The recurring theme of "pivots" serves as both a humorous device and a structural element, guiding the flow of the episode and highlighting the show's unique format. By blending personal stories with lighthearted humor and cultural commentary, the hosts create an engaging narrative that resonates with listeners.

In conclusion, "Givin' The Pivens" encapsulates the essence of The Bonfire—a blend of comedy, personal anecdotes, and candid conversations that offer both entertainment and relatable insights for the audience.

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Final Thoughts

If you're seeking a podcast that combines sharp wit, candid discussions, and a touch of irreverence, The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly is a must-listen. Episode "Givin' The Pivens" exemplifies their ability to engage listeners with authentic conversations and memorable humor.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus solely on the core discussions of the episode.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

You know, guys, when it's time to tame the mane, don't settle for just any cut. Head straight to sport clips. Right now, the pros in men's hair. Have you ever checked out a sports clips, Bobby?

[Robert Kelly]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Sport clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the hail Marys for the football field because sport Clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan to give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk. Bobby, you love guy places.

[Robert Kelly]

I love guy talk and I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best place for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the tv and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like sport clips. It's a game changer. High Five Casino, everybody. High Five Casino lets you play your favorite slot in live table games like blackjack. With the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.

[Robert Kelly]

High Five casino has a giant selection of over 1200 games, including hundreds of exclusive games only found on High Five Casino. It's always free to play and free coins are given out every four hours.

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Before we even turn the mics on, Christine's already down. Now two pivot flyers.

[Robert Kelly]

You gave her a whole pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

Took away a whole pivot for her behavior today. Trying to start up show worthy conversation. Just as he goes. Hey, guys, before we turn these mics on, what was everybody's first concert? I'm like, why would you waste that on.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was very interesting. But in her defense. No, I don't listen, I don't. Don't take any pippins away. I don't wanna.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you're zero pivots right now.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. I just don't want to be minus a pivot out of the gate. In her defense, Christine's the only ones.

[Big J Okerson]

Who'S negative pivots carry over.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, great. In her defense, she was. We were having a conversation about who this guy. I asked who this guy raped and you said nobody. That's why he never made it.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

And then she was like, this Is my first concert.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I had a little one off thing. Now, she didn't say this was my first concert.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. She's.

[Big J Okerson]

This is my first concert. It was supposed to be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then so. And so didn't show up. And then he had to come out and open. And then. And then she was going to tell you the best part of the story is that he. And I'm stealing it from her. He opened and closed with this song, which is really hilarious. Although Limp Bizkit was supposed to do that and they just didn't. They ran out of time, if you remember.

[Robert Kelly]

They were supposed to open with this song.

[Big J Okerson]

They're supposed to open and close, but this is how we do it.

[Robert Kelly]

That's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

So see, that's how bad Christine tells stories. Now you're confused.

[Robert Kelly]

I have a present for Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he didn't. He didn't show up because. Or no, the TLC didn't show up because Left Eye burned down Andre Rison's house. Right? Yep.

[Christine]

It was right then.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Christine, look, a bag of Coke.

[Robert Kelly]

You might. You might not. That's not a Coke. You might not get a pivot, but you got this.

[Big J Okerson]

What does it say?

[Christine]

So cute. It says Cuban. It has a little heart keychain.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. Just so you know, that can be taken away at any time by Bobby. Now that's the beauty of giving, is that you can taketh away.

[Robert Kelly]

That is true.

[Christine]

So are we allowed to call it Indian giving still or.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, native giving.

[Christine]

Is that indigenous giving?

[Robert Kelly]

Indigenous, I like that. Oh, my armpit hurts. What does that mean? I don't know, dude. Something's wrong with my left side of my body.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, when we go to that, the doctor lives across street from me. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Dr. Gail.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. In his.

[Robert Kelly]

His laboratory.

[Big J Okerson]

In his apartment. Laboratory.

[Robert Kelly]

His fridge. Laboratory.

[Big J Okerson]

Every time he does the Botox in my armpits for sweat, he literally goes, oh, we got a little deposit right there. Little things that. That hurt. And I go, yes. And he goes, it's fine, though. A lot of people have it. And like, stop. I didn't know it was there at all, though. Now, you son of a.

[Robert Kelly]

What's a deposit of what?

[Big J Okerson]

No, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Cookies.

[Big J Okerson]

Aids. Cancer.

[Robert Kelly]

It's from. It's from French fries.

[Big J Okerson]

You got a little cancer pocket in there.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's weird. I have a. Do you have little, like little nuggets.

[Big J Okerson]

I guess, like little fat.

[Robert Kelly]

I have one right here. Look. See it?

[Big J Okerson]

Fat noob.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at my little fat nook. He actually, when I was over there, Getting something done on my. Should he. He stuck a needle. He's like, I can take care of that. And I was like, what? And I was like, go ahead. So he just stuck a needle in it and started sucking out.

[Big J Okerson]

And it did nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

It did not. Nothing was coming out of it.

[Big J Okerson]

It did nothing. That's. He. He went and tried. He goes, I had a little bump on my face. Still have a little bump on my face?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And he goes, I was like, this has never been there before. It's literally goes, oh, it's just like a little clogged. Whatever, something. I can zap it with the laser. And he zapped it with the laser. I did nothing. Jesus Christ. Still there.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I see it? Can I see a little bump? Oh, I see it. Right there? Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Where?

[Robert Kelly]

Right there. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, over, over, over, up, up, up, up, up, over, over, over, up, up. Right there.

[DJ Lou]

I'm all the way up.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's not what I'm talking about.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you get another one. We get two.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know, somewhere.

[Robert Kelly]

Isn't it weird? The older you get, little nuggets just start popping. You just wake up with a ball. I have one on my hip.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know what it is. It's like a thing. And I'm like, I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

And then when. Sometimes when I feel knots in my neck, I try to work them out and it almost like you hit it and it makes your whole body kind of like go numb. I'm like, oh, that's probably the stroke I'm knocking loose. Right. I'm not gonna lose stroke stuff. I'm working this knot and then it's gonna release something that's gonna go into my brain and I'm done.

[Robert Kelly]

I have a little thing on my hip that I want to cut open.

[Big J Okerson]

Just yourself?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And kind of Rambo it back together.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not opposed to call this crazy Rambo. Like field surgery.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Then a lot of field surgeries on myself.

[Robert Kelly]

You have?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. What'd you do, just like taking something off yourself? I just skin tag once on my neck. Ooh. Like a small one on my neck.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if it was fun. Wear like necklaces or something before.

[Robert Kelly]

It's from. Can I tell you what they're from? What, being fat?

[Big J Okerson]

No, not where it was. It wasn't like a roll up place. I know you're saying though. Yes. But you know, it's funny, I luckily have never gotten the Armpit ones or anything like that. I. I literally had one on my neck. And I believe it was from like when I would wear a necklace and take it.

[Robert Kelly]

When I got really fat, I started getting. Skin tags.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Under my armpits.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And then when I lost the weight, skin tags gone.

[Big J Okerson]

They went away. The ones I had stomach says you're lying.

[Robert Kelly]

The ones I had, I got removed. But they ne. I never came back.

[Big J Okerson]

Got you.

[Robert Kelly]

You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Skin tags. Because if you look at fat, fat, fat people, they have a lot of.

[Big J Okerson]

When you have like a farm of them under your armpit is one of the most heinous things I've ever seen.

[Robert Kelly]

You know who had one on their neck? We ever see them on the neck?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, oh, yeah. That's what I had. But it was just like. But again it was like a. I don't know. That was very small. It was like a little flap.

[Robert Kelly]

This looked like little Liz's ex husband who used to work at the cellar. Was big dude and on the back. Loved him. But the back of his neck, it looked like little villagers crawling up his. The back of his. On his inside the rolls.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Skin tags. Look at man skin tags. Disgusting. Yeah, I don't like them. I actually tied one off with dental floss.

[Big J Okerson]

If you have them like that, don't kill yourself. But just know I understand why you wanna.

[Robert Kelly]

I think you should try.

[Big J Okerson]

I was responsible. That was very responsible of me.

[Robert Kelly]

You should.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't.

[Robert Kelly]

But you should get them off. 100. Get them off.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Well, turns out you just cut them off with nail clippers.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you can't.

[Big J Okerson]

I did.

[Robert Kelly]

You shouldn't.

[Big J Okerson]

I did.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a blood supply to them. You're supposed to kill the blood supply and then they fall off.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

If you tie like tie that kind of time.

[Big J Okerson]

How about this? Nail clippers, Neosporin, ship shape. Never had a problem again.

[Robert Kelly]

How about this? Just have Christine one night, tie off all the skin tags on your neck. Make it a party.

[Big J Okerson]

I really need Christine to not look at me as the person she has to do that for.

[Robert Kelly]

What happens when you get older, bro?

[Big J Okerson]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

What happens when you get up? One of you is going to get sick at some point and you're gonna have to take care and she's gonna have to take. I hope she has to wheel you into the bathroom.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna be difficult. No, that won't happen. I'll just sit there. I'll figure like I'll die quick. Probably because I'm not gonna let somebody wipe your butt. Wipe my ass and stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not gonna let it. I can't wait to. Don has to wipe my ass. I'll lie there and giggle the whole time going.

[Big J Okerson]

And Christine wouldn't be doing it, like, merrily, by the way. She wouldn't be like, I love him and I want to do this for him. She would be like, oh, my God, Die.

[Robert Kelly]

Dawn would treat me like a Haitian nurse.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I don't know why I made her Jamaican. I don't know accents.

[Robert Kelly]

That's all right. That guy left.

[Big J Okerson]

That guy's gone now. That bad man's gone. You know what? Good call out. Bobby, you just got yourself a pivot, buddy. Your first pivot of the day.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you, buddy. This feels good. The best man. You are the king.

[Big J Okerson]

Now, I said, I really do a lot of soul searching and thinking here. Because on Tuesdays, we do full disclosure, two shows. This is the Thursday show, but we're doing it early on Tuesday. When we go into our Tuesday live show, emotions could be high because of the pivots, depending on how they've been divvied out and. Or not divvied out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I wonder if Tuesday's live show, do we have to pretend and just erase or do we tell people, hey, just so you know, we're coming into the day this many pivots already, and you just continue from there because it's one day's full, one day's worth of pivots.

[Robert Kelly]

No, we are. You erase the day, and we go on a Tuesday live show that is a new pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

Start from scratch.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a scratch scratch.

[Big J Okerson]

So absolute scratch. So Christine could theoretically be down to negative three pivots, confusing everybody by the live show tonight.

[Robert Kelly]

Or she could be up two or three pivots.

[Big J Okerson]

She couldn't. We'll be like, oh, everybody make sure you listen. On Thursday, because Christine was able to get some of her pivots back. Yeah. Bobby's flush with pivins.

[Robert Kelly]

I got, I got. I got the second pivot of the day.

[Big J Okerson]

Second pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

You gave a pre show pivot, which I didn't think was a thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I. It's. It wasn't normally. It was a game time call. Was overcome with emotion because I said, I go, who? Oh, who made sure? I, you know, we're moving and shaking, baby. Me and you. We're all over the place. Our brains are in a thousand positions. Already forgot about the new long term pivot flyer bit. Right. And when they were just Sitting down here on the thing, I said, who brought them? D.J. lucid me. Zung a pivot right at him, right at his face. And it's changed his attitude the entire time since it's happened. He's been so excited and very happy.

[Robert Kelly]

He's so good. I mean, it feels good to get a pivot. I'm vying for these pivots.

[Big J Okerson]

Pivots ear to ear over there, DJ Lou. And it's all because of one man.

[DJ Lou]

You don't realize one until you get one, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. But it doesn't seem important. If we told somebody else that doesn't understand this at all right now, they'd be like, who gives a. Yeah, but somebody else. All the pivots. But you get. You get that taste.

[Robert Kelly]

It's also the way you throw them at us like you're Trump and we're Puerto Ricans and they're pivotal.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely right. Clean yourself up. Here's a pivot. Get yourself right pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

That is such a weird thing that he pivoted.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. Pivoted.

[Robert Kelly]

He pivoted to. Thank you, Jacob. Appreciate that. To stand up comedy. When he got me to.

[Big J Okerson]

Did he get me to.

[Robert Kelly]

He got me to in a huge way. And he pivoted. Pivoted right over to stand up and never stopped. Like, this became his thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, he is a me tooing on.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he's a comic. No, he's a stand up comic.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, he's a stand up comic now. No, I know it's funny. I saw him at the stand one night, and true to comedic form, when he seemed like he knew who I was and he liked my comedy, I. Now we're best friends.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you, You.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, we exchange nothing. I don't. I've never seen him ever again. He said, one day we're gonna have to catch up and really talk. And I was like, judgment night. Oh, shit. By the way, this is bad. This is. I've never done this before either. This is another unprecedented.

[Robert Kelly]

You fucked up the name of the movie.

[Big J Okerson]

Judgment Night. No, no, that's the correct name of the movie. No, I've never done this before. When we came back. This has nothing to do with you, Bobby. Yours is safe.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay?

[Big J Okerson]

Yours is safe. This is positive.

[Robert Kelly]

I questioned you, though.

[Big J Okerson]

This is positive.

[Robert Kelly]

And I questioned you. And I was wrong. And I do apologize, my liege. Okay.

[Christine]

Power is out of control.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, why don't you back off?

[Christine]

You guys are all just bowing down to the pivots.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Whoa. Someone cruising for banging down three pivins I mean, that's.

[Christine]

Put me down. Whatever.

[Robert Kelly]

What the is wrong with you? Bite your tongue, witch.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. I know. High gloss. Okay, Christine, you don't want it. That doesn't want you. But yesterday, when we came back from break, at one point, he played the song from Judgment Night. Helmet. House of Pain from Judgment Night. And I was like, yeah, Judgment Night. You know, because you and Ari were walking around this, like, dangerous place trying to get to where you belonged and not in this scary, terrifying thing.

[Robert Kelly]

The light.

[Big J Okerson]

What? I also forgot. I don't know why it hit me when I was driving the Legion of Skanks last night.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I got in the car and I was like, man, that is such a good song. I even went and put on some Judgment Night soundtrack, and I went, son of a. Who's in Judgment Night? Jeremy Piven. Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

That's due from yesterday.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

That's due from yesterday.

[Robert Kelly]

You got two pivots, bro. How do you feel?

[Big J Okerson]

Two pivots. Way early in the game today.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, he's out of the gate. Jacobs. Jacob's eagerly waiting for a pivot.

[DJ Lou]

I'm just staring at that stack of pivots.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, it's dwindling because it's all going over there to DJ Lou. He's having a hell of a day today.

[Robert Kelly]

I was trying to find pivot drops last night, and it is a hard thing to find.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wait, that's. Oh, he's got a great line. That'll be a goodie. Well, I'm not. What's Ari from?

[Robert Kelly]

He plays Ari in Entourage.

[Big J Okerson]

Never watched an episode.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, good, because those drops stink.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Never watched an episode of that.

[Robert Kelly]

Say anything. I'm sorry. Singles movie. He was on the cash. He was the cashier. And he starts. He says this to him.

[Big J Okerson]

You're the best, man.

[Robert Kelly]

You are the king. All right, that's obscure. What about the movie with aces? The casino movie with. Everybody was in it. Very bad things. No, I think smoking aces.

[Big J Okerson]

I think here. I think for. You should go to Judgment Night. One, you'll enjoy watching it again. It's been a while. I'm sure it's a great movie. Yeah. Two, he's got a lot of. When he tries to smooth talk Dennis Leary so they don't throw him off the roof before they throw him off the roof. Right, right. He's got a couple, like, smart assy things in there. He was a great pivot character in that.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

Also severely balder.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I know.

[Big J Okerson]

And back in the day. And then He. But he's got great in that. And then also, let's not forget old school. He's the dean. That's a great line where they go. He goes, remember we put you in the locker. He goes, if we put you in the locker room. Cheese. And he goes, I got out.

[DJ Lou]

That's the job in Gross point blank.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[DJ Lou]

Great movie. Gross point blank.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that a film?

[Robert Kelly]

You never saw that movie?

[DJ Lou]

One of the best.

[Big J Okerson]

John Cusack. I know everything about everything. I just never watched everything. Okay, I can tell you what the COVID of the VHS looks like. Gross point blank.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

It's white lettering. Gross point blank. It might be people with guns, but it's definitely like long red lettering. G R O S S E. Point blank.

[DJ Lou]

Mini driver.

[Big J Okerson]

Mini driver.

[Robert Kelly]

Mini driver was so hot.

[Big J Okerson]

Back for five seconds.

[DJ Lou]

That was her hottest.

[Robert Kelly]

She was hot. No, she was. I think her hottest was.

[Big J Okerson]

I know what you think it was.

[Robert Kelly]

Guy, you like apples?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Of course you think it's that because.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody talks like you.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. And then you think a girl is.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. What do I mean? That's not the way I talk you.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how I read Sue Costello tweets.

[Robert Kelly]

Easy, easy.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the voice.

[Robert Kelly]

Now. The B guy.

[Big J Okerson]

No, but that is definitely what it is. It's a Boston store. You're like, oh my God. All of my friends would have been blown away with anybody from an accent other than our horrible accent pulled into town. And look, she's super smart and hangs out with our piece of friend who's a genius.

[Robert Kelly]

She was hot.

[Big J Okerson]

The movie made no sense, but I did love it.

[Robert Kelly]

I did hook up with a college girl once.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I hooked up with a college. I used to go to her. She actually used me. She sexually like a good flip flop. What would that be? She would just make me come over. I really liked her and she would call me just to come over to eat her out.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, you said what is that called? Awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

But it is. If I did that to a girl, what would that be called?

[Big J Okerson]

Selfish lover.

[Robert Kelly]

Selfish lover. Yeah, she was a selfish lover.

[Big J Okerson]

She was a very selfish lover.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I would come over to a dorm and late night and we'd hang out a little bit. And then I'd eat her out. And then she'd tell me to leave.

[Big J Okerson]

You should get. Me and Christine are both selfish lovers. That's why we never have love. We keep it to ourselves.

[Christine]

Someone that would do that. What just have you go down on her and then Kind of be like later.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no. I think what you're thinking was probably wrong. Is that my ex. When we. My ex wife, when we got together, she didn't have like tons of experience. We were young, you know, but she said in college she was a real big on like, hook up. Let a guy do that, go down on her, and then not return the favor. I'm like, oh, you look. You didn't get murdered. That's great.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't. I felt. It made me feel. It made me feel bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Made you feel hard and no one touching your dick.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the ride home sucked.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't feel bad about yourself. Like, why does she treat me this way? You were like, you're supposed to suck my dick too, you idiot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I remember. I used to just play with myself. I felt like a woman.

[Big J Okerson]

Call it masturbate. That sounds better than playing with yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

I used to fiddle my bean.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, there it is. Bobby's going to work. Put a sock in the door. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think. I think she didn't want to be associated with riff raff. Boston douchebags. Yeah, she was really smart. And in college.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. That's what it was, kid. That girl in Goodwill hunting mini driver was over here. She was looking to slum it for a little bit with someone right before she goes back to her high society family.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Didn't they. Didn't they.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd have it.

[Robert Kelly]

I wish they did a part two.

[Big J Okerson]

Of that Goodwill hunting, too.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's just in jail.

[Big J Okerson]

That'd be great.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

He. He beat her.

[Robert Kelly]

He beat.

[Big J Okerson]

Because he never resolved the problems with his own father. He doesn't know anything better. So he beat his own child into being a autistic genius. It's not your fault. He goes, no, my dad put cigars out on me and it made me smart. So I just want our boy to be smart. You see, I don't know. I left my therapist very quickly. My therapist died because my therapist and me only had about seven or eight sessions. We broke through, and then I left town to follow you and my therapist.

[Robert Kelly]

Hung himself with a sock on a doorknob.

[Big J Okerson]

All the other guys are in jail. Did anybody watch the first episode of Yellowstone Back the new.

[Robert Kelly]

It's out. I didn't watch it.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't even know it was out. Dude. Didn't even know it was out. I didn't even.

[Big J Okerson]

So you don't know what they're gonna do, you know, Obviously you know. You don't told me Kevin Costner's not gonna be in it anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

I knew Kevin Costner was not gonna be, but I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what they did.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Interesting.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, listen.

[Big J Okerson]

You like it?

[Robert Kelly]

I want. Okay. Do not spoil it.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't spoil. I just. You'll like it.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but I see your eyes.

[Big J Okerson]

In what?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. I feel like you want to tell me what happened.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, it is a show that's prerecorded so I could tell you and then just have Lou remove it and only ruin it for you. But why would I do that? I love you.

[Robert Kelly]

It would feel good though.

[Big J Okerson]

Who hurts you in your life day to day? Louis. It's Louis. Lewis treats you bad and then you come here and you think everybody on a microphone with you wants to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you.

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis doesn't treat me bad. He treats himself bad.

[Jacob]

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[Big J Okerson]

At Metro get an iPhone 12 with 5G and a dual camera system on us. Take amazing pictures and share them instantly. And don't put up with life's yada yada yada like photo bombers, zoom, crop out yada yada and bye. You don't take yada yada in life. Don't take yada yada from your wireless provider. Get iPhone 12 with 5G with no.

[Christine]

Activation fees and nada yada yada only at Metro by T Mobile. Switch now bring your ID and sign up for a Metro Flex plan offer. Not available.

[Big J Okerson]

If currently at T Mobile or been.

[Christine]

With Metro in the past 180 days.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

Are you holding back on travel plans this holiday break because you're afraid of a language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel. I use Babbel all the time. I just went to Cuba. It was so frustrating and not be able to ask for certain things. You know what? I just turned on my Babbel app. All of a sudden I was speaking sentences, saying good afternoon. I got to go in and say por favor queso, which means please cheese. This app was amazing because it teaches you in a fun, relatable way that all of a sudden you just know words and they're in your lexicon. I'm learning Italian with my son. I put my whole family on Babbel right now with a quick 10 minute lesson handcrafted by over 200 language experts. Babbel gets you talking in a new language just three weeks. And with the advanced speech recognition by Babbel, it's like having a personal language tutor in your pocket helping you pronunciate whenever you open your mouth. I got Babbel. I hopefully know Spanish and Italian by the end of the year and I already know a bunch of words. I know a couple swears too. Not on there from the guy I met in Cuba. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your babel subscription but only for the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert kelly. [e-mail] Bonfire get up to 60% off babel.com Bonfire spelled B a B B E L. Rules and restrictions may apply. Tiamo, gracias. Was it? But just answer this question.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Was it? Because I know you're finicky when it comes to stuff like that.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Like how they do things. Was it. Did they solve him not being there in a. In a way where you're like, okay, this works. But was it stupid?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Yes. Particularly when you take in like. Like at first, my very first thing I was like, what? And then when what we did me and Christine very smartly watch is a 37 minute on Hulu a recap of all five seasons. It gets you like. It gives you all the pretty much meat and potatoes you need for everything.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

For it. Which was great. So when you take everything into account. Yeah, yeah. I'd say right away like, oh yeah. It's so long. I forgot how the show was cliffhanged. And I mean when the show cliffhanger the way it did. I'm like, oh, yeah, for sure now.

[Robert Kelly]

Now someone has to take his place.

[Big J Okerson]

The person who's abducted. I'm sorry, what? He got abducted.

[Robert Kelly]

By who?

[Big J Okerson]

Aliens, man. They're out in big sky country. Sorry, you're right. I couldn't hold it any longer. He got abducted. You know what? That's one negative pivot for me. He was abducted. They threw a fucking carrot ball in there. And by the way, the show does not move to an alien abduction format. Life moves on the ranch. He's just been removed in the middle of the night.

[Robert Kelly]

Did they show him getting sucked up into a ship?

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, it's just his clothes. A burn mark and then. And then a weird design in a field, and everyone just kind of knows. And I think Beth was like, I did hear, like, something. There were some lights, but that's. Then they move on quick. And then it's like, oh, we got to get these cattle south.

[Robert Kelly]

Who takes his. The person who takes his place is. It is. Do they do a good job of replacing who he is on the show?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Dane Cook. No, no, it was seriously just for flashbacks, though. He plays young John Dutton.

[Robert Kelly]

Who. The person who replaces him. Is it good?

[Big J Okerson]

Who replaced. What do you mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Like, because someone has to fill those shoes in the show.

[Big J Okerson]

It seems like they're just going with the. They're trusting the cast.

[Robert Kelly]

So it's just the cast.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody. I mean, I guess you have to say who's going to be like, Matthew.

[Robert Kelly]

McConaughey doesn't step in.

[Big J Okerson]

Seems like Beth's the focal point. But I have a feeling they've really pushed in the. In the. Remember this. Remember this stuff, which is always a little bit telling that he told Rip that it's all his.

[Robert Kelly]

But they don't. They don't replace, like, they don't add a new character.

[Big J Okerson]

Like somebody not season one that I can say would be like a Take place of that. They just really focused on Casey and Beth.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. I love Casey.

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody loves Casey, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Even though I think he has a hair lip.

[Big J Okerson]

He might have a hair lip. It wouldn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

It would.

[Big J Okerson]

I wouldn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

It would.

[Big J Okerson]

It wouldn't matter.

[Robert Kelly]

It would bother me.

[Big J Okerson]

Why you think he got that from eating unreciprocated pussy? His lip split because he always had to do the work and she would never suck his dick.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I think he does might. I think he does. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just, you know, a replay. He can never get that mustache removed. Like when Joaquina Phoenix Takes it off. It freaks me out.

[Christine]

He's a Hamlet.

[Big J Okerson]

I think he does Joaquin Phoenix. Yeah, he's got something.

[Robert Kelly]

He's got a hairline. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It doesn't matter if he does or not.

[Robert Kelly]

He is a good looking guy. God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

We found his look.

[Robert Kelly]

He did.

[Big J Okerson]

Remember we looked him up in the other movies and. Yeah, I didn't even know he was in those movies because he had short hair.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's got one. No, he's got one right there. Right there. There's a scar right, right there. There. No, back. Go back. Go back. Other way. All the way. There. There. Up there. No, back.

[Big J Okerson]

There.

[Robert Kelly]

There, there, there, there. Right there. Right there, right there. There.

[Christine]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

He's a fucking freak. I know it took us seven minutes to get you to see it in a picture you're looking at up close, but he's a disgusting fre. Although I gotta say this too. When they show him candid, it's never as exciting as Casey the character. Which is why the guy from. A lot of the guys in Sons of Anarchy were like, oh, you know what? I do look way awesomer as a biker. So I'm just gonna live life as a biker. He should do that with ranch was ranch wear. No matter where he. I don't care where in LA he lives. He should dress full time like a cowboy.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, Rip is from Boston, right? No, I know he now he built the car for.

[Big J Okerson]

For Will Hunting.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's.

[Big J Okerson]

That he left therapy for.

[Robert Kelly]

He's all country now. Like, he's all cowboy.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he goes to rodeos and. Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I love that for him. I love that he did a complete personality shift in the middle of his life. That's great.

[Robert Kelly]

I would too, though, if I was on that show.

[Big J Okerson]

So would I. You think when I get a house in Jersey, I'm not going to go full Jersey shore fucking visor hats with spiky hair underneath them.

[Robert Kelly]

I do have my. My Westchester quilted.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course you do.

[Robert Kelly]

Green jacket that I wear now that fits everything.

[Big J Okerson]

You believe.

[Robert Kelly]

I told Don when we. When we went into the bakery up there, I go, I need an earth tone jacket. I need less black and more greens and tans.

[Big J Okerson]

You need some? Yeah, you need some. What do you call it? Khaki colors.

[Christine]

Khaki, like the quilted jacket.

[Robert Kelly]

Now, right here, Don G. I have a quilted khaki green jacket. I fit right in the neighborhood now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you the ghost of the bodies buried in your yard.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it was kind of freaky. Going into the bakery with a skank fest hoodie on.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

They were just looking at me like, what's gang fast? I know.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't wait. I want to get a truck and then I want to start wearing. I want to. I finally understand Carhartt jackets. In regular life, in my mind, I go, carhartt. Why is this jacket as stiff as it looks on a hanger when it's on me? Oh, because it's supposed to be on me in a truck.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It's supposed to protect you from like flames and. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It's oil thick.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Your punches from other drunks at a truck stop.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. A wrench flying in the air.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I love car hide Carhartt. That too. I love both of them. Love card and car.

[Christine]

This one's perfect for you.

[Big J Okerson]

It's perfect for me.

[Robert Kelly]

It comes with a hoodie in it too.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. By the way, I like dressing as someone's real life work wear as fashion. I want to show up in a truck wearing pristine, super clean Carhartt stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Right now you dress like you work at Party City.

[Big J Okerson]

In the back.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That'S my perfect Carhartt jacket. You're right, Christine. Order it.

[Robert Kelly]

When I'm up in New Hampshire, I wear like that all the time.

[Big J Okerson]

What are they at? They have it in tall. Me running.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you get, a Double X or XL?

[Big J Okerson]

2Xlt.

[Robert Kelly]

2Xlt. Order it. Order it.

[Big J Okerson]

Because here's the thing. I'm gonna have to start wearing some T shirts under that because I need to wear a nice T shirt under my rugged outerwear.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you gotta get a T shirt with a pocket. You gotta wear pocket T shirts.

[Big J Okerson]

Why? In case I want to put pens or rulers in there for instruction.

[Robert Kelly]

A cigarette and a lighter. Maybe a piece of paper to take, you know, measurements down when you're doing stuff in the backyard.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. Maybe I could snap a line or maybe do a laser level.

[Robert Kelly]

A laser, though. Snap a line. Men don't use laser line mean. You don't know what snap a line means?

[DJ Lou]

No, that's a pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

That's one pivot. Take him back. Come on, snap a line. Christine. I thought you're rugged. More rugged than that. Can I suggest DJ Lou, you know what snap a line means? No.

[Robert Kelly]

Give it back.

[Big J Okerson]

Because one back, that's one return. That's not masculine. Yes, that's not masculine, Bobby. I already know black. L Do you know? Yes. When you're trying to get a straight.

[Robert Kelly]

Line, doing something in construction, you get a chalk, piece of string and you snap it. Also, I think Saquon Barkley is a fantastic running back. I mean, you know the way he.

[Big J Okerson]

Just did that reverse hurdle.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Fantastic.

[Robert Kelly]

He's kissing ass for a pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

He's a Cowboys fan, though. That's big.

[Robert Kelly]

That's real big.

[Big J Okerson]

Black Lou coming in hot. Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

That is a legitimate ass kissing pivot. I mean, we could all do that.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a cow. Listen, it shows you the value of the pivot when a Cowboys fan season imploding the week of that very player putting in the screws to them.

[Robert Kelly]

But, Jay, I want to say this right now. I love the way your little red.

[Big J Okerson]

Bangs had it hanging out, kissing. And I know you do not enjoy the way that my bangs come out of my head.

[Robert Kelly]

I hate it.

[Big J Okerson]

I know for a fact you hate the way my bangs are.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like bangs.

[Big J Okerson]

But your personal judgments of me will not lose you a pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. I'm just saying bangs make me sick.

[Big J Okerson]

It's got nothing to do with. I can't make it personal. I can't make it personal. If it's personal, then I'm. It's willy nilly. I have to go by the rules, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. By the rules of action. So you can take shots of me.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm just saying you look like a little trans boy that wants to play baseball and suck a dick.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it. You know what, dude? Your balls. To come at me like that when you know I control the pivots. Got you one back. The balls to come after me when you know I have all the pivins. It might be the last pivot you ever get, Bobby, but son of a. You deserve that one. You're the best, man.

[Robert Kelly]

You are the king.

[Big J Okerson]

A little pivot for you, yes. Christine, please, can we find my white jacket?

[Christine]

Christmas is coming.

[DJ Lou]

You should walk.

[Christine]

You should buy yourself stuff right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you guys buy yourself like big gifts? Do you get like one big gift each or do you one. Do you buy like a universal, like a couple's gift?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Christine]

Jay gives me like the best gifts ever.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

I try to keep up. I try. I've gotten him some good gifts over the years, but he really, like, kills it for Christmas and birthday every year. Sometimes I have a hard. His birthday and Christmas are right next to each other. And like last year, last year I felt like I got like a good birthday, but, like, couldn't get something else for Christmas.

[Robert Kelly]

What'd you get him for birthday?

[Christine]

I got you the Louis Vuitton wallet, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

What'd you get him for Christmas for?

[Christine]

Chris? What did I get you for Christmas? It wasn't great. I remember I was like disappointed with it.

[Robert Kelly]

I guess because he was too. I can't remember.

[Christine]

I don't remember.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I get nothing for Christmas for my birthday this year. Yeah, I got nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

I got it. Which I'm cool with. I'm fine with it.

[Big J Okerson]

Doesn't sound like it.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, here's the thing. When you set it up like I'm going to get something.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. That hurts.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I don't get something. I get a card in a. And dawn didn't even make me a cake this year. She bought a cake which is fucking nuts.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, she has a brand new fucking stove.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, state of the art, state of the art stove, state of the art tutor. And I was expecting my favorite yellow cake that you know, that I love. And I mean, she got me a cake, but she didn't. I got a card and I was cheating. It was one of those fucking supermarket cakes.

[Big J Okerson]

She cake.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the higher ones.

[DJ Lou]

No effort cake.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, no effort.

[DJ Lou]

Like Wegmans.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Christine]

But Wegmans is a nice cake.

[DJ Lou]

It is nice.

[Big J Okerson]

Might not be Wegmans.

[Robert Kelly]

It was not Wegmans.

[Christine]

I mean, I'm sure Jay would prefer store bought cake over a baked cake on my end.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, can I say something real quick? Do you remember the casserole debacle of 2024 y?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I took that recipe, I gave it to dawn and she remade the recipe.

[Big J Okerson]

Really? DJ Lose?

[Christine]

No, mine.

[Robert Kelly]

My awful orzo chicken one. Remember? Remember that? Terrible.

[Big J Okerson]

It was bad.

[Robert Kelly]

It was bad.

[Big J Okerson]

She made chicken last week. That was pretty good.

[Robert Kelly]

Don remade that chicken dish. And let me tell you something, I got a picture of it somewhere.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a bad meal in general.

[Robert Kelly]

It sucked.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Really.

[Robert Kelly]

It was not you, Christine. It was not you.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a bad recipe.

[Robert Kelly]

It was a bad recipe.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Christine]

Well, that makes me feel bad. It has great ingredients. I don't know how those ingredients can be so bad.

[DJ Lou]

It tasted put in dry pasta. It was.

[Big J Okerson]

It was.

[Robert Kelly]

It was something. It was. It wasn't. It was good. Like the first bite, second bite, and then by the third bite you're like, this isn't good. Like this is.

[Big J Okerson]

It tastes like if someone was making you eat healthy out of a pre packaged thing or something.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was weird. Like, like it was like, this looks like it's going to be. I. I scooped a big box, but.

[Big J Okerson]

It was school lunch.

[Robert Kelly]

Terrible.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It wasn't you. It was not.

[Christine]

Well, that makes me feel better because it was really. Yeah, I made chicken. It was all right. It was all right.

[Big J Okerson]

That by no means. Means you can cook, but that's it. No, she made chicken last week. That was pretty good. Yeah, I enjoyed it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Skirt steak, one week. That was pretty good.

[Robert Kelly]

Don made homemade.

[Christine]

I've been very into groton potatoes, but they're just like boxed potatoes and. Or refrigerated potatoes that I heat up.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't make your own.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't make all ground potatoes.

[Robert Kelly]

She does.

[Big J Okerson]

She's never made a grub from scratch. From.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Cuts the potatoes. Puts them in, makes them from scratch.

[Big J Okerson]

All groton potatoes. Yeah.

[Christine]

Super slicer.

[Robert Kelly]

A little thin thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Super thin. She.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, super thin. Cheese, potato. Cheese potato. Broil it or bake it, whatever the fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

She sliced her own potatoes.

[Robert Kelly]

She slices her own potatoes. She made homemade chicken soup last night in like, I don't know, hour. Went to the store, she goes, I'm making chicken soup. I'll be right back. Went to the store, came back.

[Big J Okerson]

Who's sick?

[Robert Kelly]

Chicken soup. No, she just makes a good chicken soup, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, sick chicken. Dawn is a crazy good cook.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Except for short ribs. Her short ribs suck.

[Big J Okerson]

Terrible.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, like, I would rather just bite into the side of a live cow.

[Big J Okerson]

I made them. I made the mistake. This week when we were. I was in Austin, I had a Sunday show, so I had everybody over for the Eagles and Cowboys game to come hang out. We got Terry Black's barbecue.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Which people love. It's fantastic.

[Robert Kelly]

It's great.

[Big J Okerson]

It's really good.

[Robert Kelly]

How'd you get it delivered? Or did you have somebody go wait in line?

[Big J Okerson]

No, we went and picked it up. They are. Luckily, they are huge comedy fans, so it's like. But when we're in town, they send word, like, come through. We'll get you guys all taken care of. But we were taking it to go. So, like, I mean, they still. The guy Jason over there, the manager, he was fucking great. They come over and they just. I mean, gave us a felonious. Probably fed the creek in the cave for two months. I mean, how much they brought back. But it is funny. House and barbecue before a show night.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never gotten that, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

How.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never. I've never had anybody go, yeah, dude, you want something?

[Big J Okerson]

That's not true.

[Robert Kelly]

At the mothership.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, the mothership.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you go there yet?

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Twice.

[Big J Okerson]

Headline twice. Two full weekends.

[Robert Kelly]

Two full weekends.

[Big J Okerson]

Where do they put you up at the Thomas Thompson?

[Robert Kelly]

Thompson.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. There's a. They have got a condo in that building now. But I will always say I'd rather do hotel. Condo was awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

Was it two floors?

[Big J Okerson]

No. How many?

[Robert Kelly]

Two bedrooms.

[Big J Okerson]

Me and Fenoy stayed there.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

I like that. That was fine. Like, it was fun in that regard. The same thing, the same place. No, it's not. Here's why. Cuz in a hotel, I have no respect for the most of the rules. I don't want to smoke cigarettes in my room, and that will also draw a lot of attention. And I don't like doing that. I don't like smoking indoors. So, like, I never have to worry about that. But like, I'm gonna smoke pot in that room. And there is a list of rules when you have to sign for the mothership's condo that are very like.

[Robert Kelly]

Like what?

[Big J Okerson]

Don't smoke anything inside. There's balcony. Okay, but then don't no open drinks.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Or food in the bedrooms is something where I'm like, I mean, you're talking about my plate, man. That's my coffee table. Laying down on my belly and eating food in front of my computer is how I do it, man. Are you out of your mind? But I didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

But that's from hotel living, where you don't have a kitchen or a table. They must have a kitchen and a table.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. But I don't want to go live in a responsible apartment on the weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

You want to live on your belly.

[Big J Okerson]

I want to sleep on top of sheets, be cold until I'm not wake up chilly, cover myself with the spare blankets because I don't want to mess up the blankets or sheets.

[DJ Lou]

Fuck rules.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck rules. And then. All right, Jacob, come on, dude. You know what? There you go. You got yourself a pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

He waited, I mean, a half hour to say something to get a goddamn pivot. I respect that.

[Big J Okerson]

It was good. Fuck that.

[Robert Kelly]

I respect that. You really. You picked your shot.

[Big J Okerson]

I also have every belief that Rogan has nothing to do with this, but the rules are written in a tone of like an MMA person telling you, like, dude, don't even think about it or you will not be paid. Really? Where? It's like a lot of like, it's like. Or, you know, if you do that, you'll just come out of your money and essentially is like, also clean the bathroom when you're done. Put all dishes in the sink and fucking, I don't know, pass a vacuum or something. You piece of shit.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to clean.

[Big J Okerson]

My life. It does say, like, tidy up basically, before you leave, but it's almost like, isn't somebody coming in, buddy?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like condos. I don't like.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm saying it's a. It's a beautiful condo.

[Robert Kelly]

It's great.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a lovely car. They gave. They had so many snacks and, like, so the fridge was stuck with sodas. It was great in that regard. It's just that I'm going to respect the rules of your condo. I'd like to live not respecting the rules of a hotel and be at my own peril. By the way, if they get. If they get me smoking weed, they go, you're charged 250. Okay. I gotta eat that.

[Christine]

Sometimes you really didn't eat or drink in the room? I thought that was like, just kind.

[Big J Okerson]

Of a. I was so happy I didn't know about the eat or drink one. Mike made a joke about the next day and I was like, yeah, because I walked out with a Gatorade I brought in the night before and luckily never opened it. Thank God. There's no open drinking.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like. I don't want to sleep where I know. No offense. Where I know you and Joe Derosa.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. I get that.

[Robert Kelly]

Slept. I don't care.

[Big J Okerson]

But I got the loads of a thousand hacks all over the place.

[Christine]

Didn't somebody leave a dirty sock in a pillowcase once? Was that you?

[Robert Kelly]

That was that. What was that?

[Big J Okerson]

Edmonton, wasn't it Edmonton? They were like, we clean it every time.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, they know. They said. They go. I go, I just don't do condos. I don't. I don't want to stay in a car. I have so many bad condos experience coming up. I was just. I don't want it. So, like, okay, you can go to the hotel. It wasn't a hotel. It was a motel. It was a shitty motel. So then I was like, oh, really?

[Big J Okerson]

It wasn't. Because they also will put you up in, like, they have a hotel attached to the mall that's apparently, like, do you want the champagne glass blanket or the champagne glass hot tub for yourself?

[Robert Kelly]

No, they have the jungle room.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Arctic. There's like a one second igloo.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It was a fucking weird.

[Big J Okerson]

Every last minute. I always go, I know, I know. The dumb condo just put me in the car, though.

[Robert Kelly]

They were like, condo's clean. It's my. I love the, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, all right, put me in there. First of all, I Went in, and the. The utensils always have, like, some type of egg.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, and then I was like.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, electric stove, which I really do not enjoy at all.

[Robert Kelly]

I have an electric stove.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's actually. They improved it so much.

[Big J Okerson]

You said. You said the other day. I'm sure. I'm sure it's. Well, also because.

[Robert Kelly]

Because I hate them too.

[Big J Okerson]

But I believe in a new. How a lot of times, if we're building a new structure, I think legalities are, like, they're moving to electric. I'm sure they're better.

[Robert Kelly]

I was in there, and I.

[Big J Okerson]

That one's an old one that you have to wait for an orange circle to show up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You have to wait 30 minutes for it to cool down or you'll burn your hand.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it still orange? Is it still an open. Is it still open to the touch? Dangerous.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It looks like a. The starship deck lit up. It's funny, buddy. So the. So, yeah, I talked to. I go, dude, you clean the. He goes, I clean it, and we have a maid clean it. I was like, okay, so I lie. I intentionally. I jerked off in the bed twice a day. I lied in the bed naked every day, slept naked. And I don't sleep naked. I can't do that. But I did it for this reason. And then I left. And I took my dirty socks and I put them in the pillowcase underneath, and I flipped it over so it's on the bottom. And then Joe Derosa was the next week, and I called him up. I go, hey, dude. Asked him if they cleaned the place, and he came back that night. He's like, yeah, he cleaned it. He said they made claim, came, and he came. Just what he said to me. And I go, do me a favor. Go to the pillow. He goes, yeah. I go, take the pillowcase off. And he goes, what the fuck? I go, what? He goes, there's socks in here. I go, those are my socks.

[Big J Okerson]

Wash them and bring them home.

[Robert Kelly]

And he washed them and he brought them home.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen, that is always the thing, too. I also am fine. This is a personality thing of mine, too, with condos. It hits me. I'm absolutely fine bringing home all my clothes dirty, even if something's clean, and then just throw it in the laundry when I get home and just. It'll be washed when I get home. When there's a washer dryer, I find myself. I want to go home with all clean clothes. So I'm doing. I was literally folding Laundry up to and including about 1 o'clock in the morning on the night we left. Just because I was like, well, I can get this. Because if not, I'm gonna be putting the dirty thing in with all clean stuff. You know what I mean? It was such a pain in the ass. But I do it.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm folding laundry. Whereas every other thing, you just like, plop it back in the bike. The repacking to go home is the easiest, but now I'm folding everything.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know how to do laundry.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you don't mean that.

[Robert Kelly]

I used to do it. When I moved to New York, I had to do it. But I haven't done laundry in so long. I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Take it down to the East River.

[Robert Kelly]

Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Just take it down to east river.

[Robert Kelly]

And rub it on rocks. I actually throw socks away.

[Big J Okerson]

I know someone else does it. Chase. That. He does that. The Michael Chase does that. I think. I think Chase said he also does that. He just leaves them on the road. He just takes them. Every time he takes his socks off, he just throws them out. Throw them off.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Nothing feels better than a fresh Paris.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not wrong. A brand new sock every day would be unreal.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You go to WALMART, they're what, 10 bucks for a bag of socks? Who gives a shit?

[Big J Okerson]

But I also like. I also like a nice sock.

[DJ Lou]

You don't wash the socks first.

[Robert Kelly]

I like all my T shirts I brought to Cuba and all my socks, I left them there.

[Big J Okerson]

T shirts.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I got the white V necks. I got white V necks and I got brand new white socks at Walmart on Sunday.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you leaving for a Christmas present for a local?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I support the Cuban people.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't, though.

[Robert Kelly]

I do.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't.

[Robert Kelly]

I support they all.

[Big J Okerson]

You're afraid of them, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

They have.

[Big J Okerson]

You fear them.

[Robert Kelly]

They have new shirts and new socks.

[Big J Okerson]

Just once, Just once worn socks.

[Robert Kelly]

There's four white T shirts, V necks and four pairs of socks. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

They still don't have water or electricity, but they do have nice socks.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I don't know how they get their flip flops on socks.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know how they're gonna play baseball without their flip flops on.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. The condo thing is. It's a weird thing to me because they always. They're always like, oh, our condo's the best. But it really is just a way of getting out of paying for the hotel room. Because the hotel room fluctuates, I bet. And it's like it's. It's like we own this thing and after. We're going to own it at some point and it's going to be an asset to whoever the fuck owns it. And you know, I mean, the Thomas is it the Thomas Thompson. Thompson. So I corrected myself before you corrected me. See that. Thanks, buddy. The Thompson is a nice hotel, but most of the condos are in garbage places.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. And they said this condo is. It's beautiful. I mean they have giant TVs in every room for. There's cable, there's everything. It's. It's great. It's great. I said it's not that. It's just what I'm looking for person, you know, I'm saying it's like. You could say a mansion is beautiful, but it's also like too much for me. I wouldn't want that, you know. So it's like what's good for you. Hotel living just makes more sense to me. The balcony was great. You can go out and smoke on the balcony. So it wasn't an issue. What's crazy though in learning is it's on 6th Street. The hotel, you know, I mean, it's on 6th street and the balcony, very fun. People watching, but loud is over. But at noon, when they open the doors of the bars for live music, it is a non stop battle of the bands at the same exact time playing in the apartment and on the balcony. The balcony particularly because it's a recessed balcony. So it like it just gathers all three things. So it's pretty wild. I mean the people watching is world class. And the convenience of it is unbelievable. But like it is funny. Like, damn, dude, that is a fuck. If you bought that as like I'm gonna live here, you'd be like, oh my God. If you. If you picked that place out and bought it sight unseen on like a Sunday morning, you'd really be like, oh shit. When you moved in, like, fuck, we blew it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a nice hotel. There's the pool. Pool 640. I mean that's why, you know, they're probably throwing three grand out a weekend just on hotel rooms. Holy. $922 a night.

[Big J Okerson]

Even if they.

[Christine]

For the. It's booked. It says the 13th to 15th. I think that's for the whole time.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Really? Yeah, it's not actually.

[Robert Kelly]

I just don't like. I don't like using I. When you go in there and there's condiments from some other comic. I just don't want.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. I don't want to use Joe. The Rose's mustard.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Do you have access to, like, the hotel amenities?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Which was very, very cool.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

But it's. Yeah, the gym, there was crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Gym. There was awesome.

[Big J Okerson]

Not only they have a gym. That was awesome. They have a room off the gym. We never did it, but they got the simulator, like the golf simulator and the. And the football, like you. Or there's a couple different games, like soccer, you could play on it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But, like, the one that bargain's got, like the big screen, like the Kevlar screen that you hit again. That was pretty neat.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I do like that.

[Big J Okerson]

You do have the amenities. The hotel is beautiful. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. The. Is the diner open or is that. That was closed when I go.

[Big J Okerson]

But it's.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that diner. And the bakery. The little coffee shop is the. Too.

[Big J Okerson]

Austin's got so much fun stuff. We went to Cisco's one morning for breakfast, which I love.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's what we went.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. Yeah. The Mexican place for breakfast. It's said Terry Blacks for the barbecue, but the point of that whole thing was Terry eating barbecue, watching a great. Well, for us, great football game, and then being like, all right, in a half hour, we gotta go do a big show. Everyone's like, I've never done this much in my life. I tried to shit two times in the half hour before we left for the show. Didn't work either time. I was like, something's gotta be in there. Why isn't it coming out?

[Christine]

Did you go to Iron Cactus?

[Big J Okerson]

Went to Iron Cactus for lunch one day with Mikey. What's that great? Just good Mexican place right next to the mothership.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But we've always gone there for a dorm. Moon tower. It's great. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

The food down there, it is a good town. It's a little.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

It's hectic at night, though, after the.

[Big J Okerson]

Downtown is batshit fucking crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Just a bunch of chubby Mexican girls dressed in doll clothes.

[Big J Okerson]

And it's not where I'd want to be. The homeless is still a thing, and it's not where I'd want to be. Like I said, the issue with that is. And someone's right. I mean, East Village, going to the Cellar and stuff on a weekend, you're going into that kind of chaos.

[Robert Kelly]

But it's not. It's not. It's not. There's a different chaos, though. There's some type of. It's kind of organized chaos. People are moving and walk in there.

[Big J Okerson]

It'S like, well, there's moving. There's also, though, it's like the people.

[Robert Kelly]

Are hanging in the street.

[Big J Okerson]

But that's what I'm saying. That's the big thing to me, the difference. And I said that the West Village is still organized in the sense that like, you'll be removed from the middle of the street if you're just walking in the middle of the street. Yeah, they closed down all the half side streets in either direction. And the full thing of 6th Avenue, 6th Street, 6th Street. Every. Every night, Every Friday, Saturday, I don't think it's. It was Sunday too. It's. Yes, because at 2:15 in the morning, we watched it every night. You see in the distance it coming. There's a fleet of cop cars that come down and over a speaker also, by the way, every night at 2:15 in the morning, going down, saying the streets need to be cleared out, traffic is resuming. And just like it never happened, cars are coming through.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, they do that in New Orleans too. They do.

[Big J Okerson]

They have Bourbon street.

[Robert Kelly]

They do horseback cops, which is intimidating and they don't give a fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

But isn't Bourbon street not even like street street? It's like very like cobblestone. It almost seems like you're not supposed to drive on it. Like 6th street is just a street. And they go. And then that was fun to watch from the balcony too, is the, you know, it's a two in the morning city. So at two in the morning we were up in our. We were like, oh, let's go outside and watch the other people pour out of the bars. And I mean, talk about staying. At the last minute, it was like 1:45. I go, I'm gonna go out on the balcony, smoke a cigarette and a joint. Let's watch the people. Mike goes, okay. And I'm like, oh, it's fucking quiet for a Saturday. It's so quiet. And then it's. Because it was the last 15 minutes of getting drinks. And then at 2:00, I mean, it's crazy. I mean, chaos in the streets.

[Robert Kelly]

It's chaos wild. It's very stressful.

[Big J Okerson]

But the cops do clean it out fast though too. They have about 15, 20 minutes of like chaos in the streets. And it's like everybody go different ways.

[Robert Kelly]

And yeah, there's a lot of. There's a lot of alpha male energy too. Late at night over there, like a lot of dudes looking at other dudes waiting to say something.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like we heard, we saw a Fight. Like we heard the cops whistling and everybody running and a bunch of people running over to watch it, but, like, we couldn't see it from the balcony.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, a lot of fights. A lot of. A lot of alpha shit.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of bum tits. I mean, a lot of homeless. Disgusting. Just naked tits outside a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the homeless people over there are fucking nuts.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, they are, I think. And again, we live here, so. I know. I think the homeless here are more like the decrepit, sad. Like you have to like step over them laying in the street. These are taking up a lot of space and aggressively coming at you and also asking you to do weird. I tell you, that was the crap. I've never been asked that before. He goes, you got any money I could get, man? I was like, no, dude, I don't have any cash on me at all. And he was like, there's an atm, like, right over there. I'm like, does that ever work? Has anybody ever been like, oh, there is. Oh, yeah. Walk over, goes, let me. Hey, I'm gonna tell you, my pings. I always forget, remember, for me, I.

[Robert Kelly]

Hate when the homeless people hang in the atm, of course. Oh, yeah, they're like. And they see you just get like 220s. Do you got any money? You know, I have money, fuck face.

[Big J Okerson]

No, not the amount that I would give some piece of shit like you.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have a change for 100?

[Big J Okerson]

Change for 100.

[Robert Kelly]

The homeless people in Austin, though, they.

[Big J Okerson]

Either could be like, there's the Iron Cactus right there.

[Robert Kelly]

They can be construction workers that just get off the job or a homeless person like New York City. You know, the guy walking up with no shirt on and one sneaker is homeless there.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it might be a world class performer.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you don't know who the fuck it is.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be the best fucking slap bass player in all of Austin, Texas. You don't know. Is that the Iron Cactus.

[Christine]

Iron Cactus is right next to the mothership.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, I forget.

[Christine]

Earlier.

[Big J Okerson]

Where's the cat? Iron Cactus.

[Robert Kelly]

Back a little further. Oh, it's right at the beginning of the video.

[Big J Okerson]

There it is, there it is. We always go, yeah, we always go to Pete Terry's for a burger because Pete Terry's is a good place where you might find a nice fight happening. When we were there one year, that was Moon Tower, right? Christine, See the girls with the chubby.

[Robert Kelly]

Girls, they just have little doll clothes on their asshole and tits are hanging out.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, they have no idea now how bad they look.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, they just look terrible.

[Big J Okerson]

I Mean, there's some smoking hot. Then you see a group of girls, like, all doing, like, the exact. Here's what's hot. Not local girls going out in the Aussies and being like, this is the night. Oh, we're in Austin. So let's all wear cowboy boots, shorts up our assholes, and like, you know, white fucking country girl shirts. And, I mean, they all look fantastic.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's like there's always one smoking hot girl with two or three just chubby chicks that are barely fitting into their skirts.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no, absolutely. And those are the pigs who get into the fights.

[Robert Kelly]

There's the blind pig right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Pig pub. What's going on? Everything's called a pig down here because the pigs.

[Robert Kelly]

It is a cool little street, though. Yeah, I would. That's like the street you wish you just got hammered.

[Big J Okerson]

Not me, man. It looks.

[Christine]

I did drink in Austin. I quit. I quit drinking after we started going to Austin. It is. It is a fun bar town.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. If you. If you drink. If you. If you hammer some bears back, this would be great just to go in, go to a bar, live music, get up, and then hit the street without worrying about getting hit by a cab, I guess. Look at those two dudes. They're having a boring night, those two fat dudes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, those chicks here suck, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, let's go get a breakfast, man.

[Big J Okerson]

The chicks here all suck. I hate this.

[Christine]

I forget where we were, but all the girls were just so cute. And they were all like, cat, it wasn't Austin. They were all like, cowgirl style, thick thighs, like shorts, hats. I don't know if it was Nashville or something, but.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Nashville's also another fun one. When you go to that Broadway on the weekend, it's like the girls who were in town from Minnesota, they're like, let's dress like cowboy sluts. It's a good look. Cowboy sluts. A pretty good look.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a hot look.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a good regional look. No one ever looks like New York winter hot. You know? I mean, it's not really a look you could look hot in.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you ever fuck around with a country girl, like a cowgirl?

[Big J Okerson]

No. No, I don't think so. I got head like a real country. Country chick.

[Robert Kelly]

I got head from a country chick. She had a pickup truck. Yeah, she was just country.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, talk to a girl.

[Robert Kelly]

It's almost like getting blown by a dude. Just really know how to work it.

[Big J Okerson]

Girl, you need an accent.

[Robert Kelly]

And she slapped me on the butt. She's like, come on, let's go get some food.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell yeah. Have the cowboy girl.

[Robert Kelly]

I love.

[Big J Okerson]

I call them cowboy girls.

[Robert Kelly]

I like cowboy girls. I like those chicks in Yellowstone.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course. Listen, catch it.

[Robert Kelly]

Tater, I like Not. Not tater. Not tater.

[Christine]

Teeter.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it tater or Tater?

[Christine]

I thought it was Tater.

[Big J Okerson]

Writing it on the screen. Is Teeter.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I don't like her because she's. I know that she's just a woke blue haired in real life actress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the other girls I think are.

[Christine]

You know. Beth's British.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, of course. She was in Sherlock Holmes. She was Watson's wife.

[Big J Okerson]

She was British at all. I would have never known.

[Christine]

Interview with.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she's British.

[Big J Okerson]

That blows my mind.

[Robert Kelly]

It's fucking nuts, right?

[Big J Okerson]

She doesn't look British at all.

[Robert Kelly]

At all. She looks like a redhead.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of people be like, how do you look British? You know what I mean? You know exactly what I mean. You look British. Fucked up.

[Robert Kelly]

Teeth.

[Big J Okerson]

Teeth coming out of her face.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Fingers are too long. Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

She has no warts on her face.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she'll eat anything.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn British. I want to hear a talk. I hear a talk. Christine, stop looking at Austin.

[Christine]

Austin's fun. I'm gonna go back.

[Robert Kelly]

Austin is a fun town, but it. I'm done.

[Big J Okerson]

I usually go right from the fun young town. If you're gonna go to the bike, I don't listen everybody down there. I saw Catherine Blandford one night. Like young comics. If you're performing at the Mothership or the creek in the Cave, I mean, no shit. If you're like, hey, let's all go over this crazy fucking mechanical bull night in a live band and everybody like, everyone's going somewhere. Tony seems busy like night tonight. Hinchcliffe.

[Robert Kelly]

And was he there this weekend?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Did he stop by?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, cool.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I saw Tony.

[Robert Kelly]

What'd he say? How's he doing? He's fine. Right?

[Big J Okerson]

About what?

[Robert Kelly]

About all the shit.

[Big J Okerson]

What shit? You guys are in Cuba. What are you talking about? Something happens to Tony.

[Robert Kelly]

I was. It happened before I went to Cuba.

[Big J Okerson]

What did?

[Robert Kelly]

When he did the speech at Madison Square Garden.

[Christine]

The speaker.

[Robert Kelly]

When he talked speaker tone. When he said Puerto Ricans are garbage people and black people like to watermelon on Halloween.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, I don't think that's a quote.

[Christine]

He didn't say Puerto Ricans were garbage people. He said Puerto Rico, the island, was an island of garbage.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a subtle joke. You really have to. You really have to think about it.

[Big J Okerson]

I was a goodie it was a good. Well, yeah, that's the problem. The whole problem with all of that. It's been said in nauseum now, but they were like our next speaker, like, no, no, no. But it is funny that we heard a thing today of Obama mentioning it.

[Robert Kelly]

Obama mentioned what?

[Big J Okerson]

Tony Hitchcliffe set.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's great speech.

[Big J Okerson]

Like everything. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

How great is that?

[Big J Okerson]

How's this her? Let's go. Hello.

[Robert Kelly]

Now, she looks British here.

[Big J Okerson]

She does looks. Her teeth are getting fucked up.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at her. Fucking overhang.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what it is. They fucking use a lot of makeup to make her look American and pretty.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's the accent we use that actually.

[Big J Okerson]

British and ugly as shit.

[Robert Kelly]

She gets sunken eye sockets like British people.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at her. She aged 30 years, but she's just.

[Robert Kelly]

Not interested in how a wedding party or wedding dress. I shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off. I can't watch this. Don't do it. I can't. Don't do it. I hate gonna ruin the whole show.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna. Spoiler alert now. No, that made me so angry. I'm gonna tell you everything.

[Robert Kelly]

I. I thought he got abducted by an alien.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. I told you already.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Big J Okerson]

My bad.

[Robert Kelly]

I hope that's it.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

I hope that's really it.

[Big J Okerson]

You think I made that up?

[Robert Kelly]

I hope he really does.

[Big J Okerson]

You thought I made it up. You're gonna be like, holy shit, the only son of a bitch was right. He gets abducted by aliens.

[Robert Kelly]

There was a bunch of dead cows around him in a crop circle and.

[Big J Okerson]

They just accepted it in his boots. And then the story just moves forward. Oh, we gotta find a new commissioner of cows or whatever the fuck he does.

[Robert Kelly]

His other show, Lioness is great.

[Big J Okerson]

Kevin Costner's back in that.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he's not in that. Taylor Sheridan.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Taylor Sheridan.

[Big J Okerson]

Lioness. We talked about though it's special ops and that's not my deal.

[Robert Kelly]

I love special Ops.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he does another show. Tulsa King. Right.

[Robert Kelly]

Tulsa King is good. First season was better.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not liking this at all.

[Robert Kelly]

Second season was good. It's good. I like it. I. Well, I haven't finished it. I have to wait.

[Big J Okerson]

I watch from. I watch Teacup now I watch Yellowstone again.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what I mean? Penguin is probably my new.

[DJ Lou]

Was crazy. What ending finale of Penguin.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't. I only watched the first episode. Please.

[Big J Okerson]

That's hilarious. How do you know it's all amazing then one episode.

[Robert Kelly]

First episode was. I mean, the first episode was some of the best TV I've seen in a long time.

[Big J Okerson]

I think I'm on. I need to watch one more episode.

[Robert Kelly]

The first episode was so the backstory of this dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Farrell's pretty great. It's a handsome kind of guy that you really want to not like because son of a is good.

[Robert Kelly]

So good, man. You don't even see him.

[DJ Lou]

Love the finale.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't even see the guy and the girl in it. The daughter is smoking.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you like her?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she little. Little pixie. Wa.

[DJ Lou]

Something from a Kristen Milati.

[Big J Okerson]

She's from a.

[DJ Lou]

She was in Dan's movie. She was. Dan and her did a movie together.

[Robert Kelly]

Dan.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, she's the mom from How I met your mother. Right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

She's cute.

[DJ Lou]

She's so cute.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right. She does the movie with Dan they were in.

[Robert Kelly]

What movie did they do? Dan was in a rom com.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you don't know this?

[Robert Kelly]

What the are you talking about?

[Big J Okerson]

For the regs next time. Go ahead.

[Robert Kelly]

What was it called?

[Big J Okerson]

It had to be you.

[Robert Kelly]

My best friend. My best friend's girl, too.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you gotta show. Please show Bobby the trailer for this so you can see.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

Look at Dan.

[Robert Kelly]

What the. Stop it.

[Big J Okerson]

I never wanted to get married.

[Robert Kelly]

Seemed simple. Hang on, hang on. Don. He has 100% romcom face and voice. Hasn't even spoken yet. And his big, goofy, adorable eyes are like, I love you and you love me too.

[Christine]

I always thought that by the time.

[Robert Kelly]

I got married, so stop. She's the star. Yeah, okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but he's the direct co star, right? I think that's two sheeter.

[Robert Kelly]

Women give men ultimatums all the time. Maybe he's right.

[Christine]

You're not gonna let him extort a.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes out of you, are you?

[Christine]

It's not extortion. An ultimatum is an acceptable form of negotiation. Extortion is illegal.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Does not. Does he talk at all during this promo?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, he said something earlier.

[Robert Kelly]

What? He said, one napkin or juice?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that William Stevenson?

[Christine]

Yeah, it is.

[Big J Okerson]

No, guy only played a bus driver. I'm doing a proposal. He tried and you said no. Yeah, sort of. Got the drink?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he hit you? What?

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. What if. I don't know how long I'm gonna need.

[Big J Okerson]

It's okay. Probably is going to die a few years younger. Now.

[Robert Kelly]

It'S a real film, Jack.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, so that's the movie that made Dan Soder get out of broadcasting and move on. He's like, you know what, dude? I caught the bug.

[Jacob]

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[Robert Kelly]

Every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind.

[Jacob]

Us to be more human.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Christine]

Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[Robert Kelly]

At Amica, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica empathy is our best policy.