Glide Wizard w/Dov Davidoff & Ralph Sutton

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: Glide Wizard w/Dov Davidoff & Ralph Sutton
Release Date: March 27, 2025

Introduction and Guest Arrival [01:15 - 02:30]

In this lively episode of The Bonfire, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly welcome two special guests, Ralph Sutton and Dove Davidoff, to join them by the bonfire. The conversation kicks off with a nostalgic nod to classic rock, specifically the song "Bad Company," highlighting its generational appeal. Dove humorously reveals, “[00:27] Dove Davidoff: I had to learn this on the street,” setting the tone for a night filled with candid storytelling and shared histories.

Early Comedy Days and Relationships [02:30 - 10:00]

The discussion rapidly shifts to the hosts' early days in stand-up comedy. Ralph and Dove share anecdotes about their formative experiences, including memorable nights with fellow comedians like Steve Marshall. Dove quips, “[04:07] Dove Davidoff: Dove is the Brad Pitt of stand-up,” emphasizing his confidence and charm in the comedy scene. Big Jay interjects with a chuckle, “[07:03] Bobby Kelly: It's a Pyrrhic Victory, meaning you're gonna lose more than you gain living like that,” reflecting on the highs and lows of their comedic journeys.

Wild Nights and Personal Anecdotes [10:00 - 17:00]

The guests delve into wild stories from their touring days, including escapades involving late-night antics, accidental encounters, and humorous misadventures. Ralph reminisces about hosting events at Danger Fields, “[21:40] Dove Davidoff: She was always at Danger Fields and New York,” underscoring the vibrant New York comedy scene. They share laughs over broken teeth from boxing matches and the chaotic camaraderie that defined their early careers.

Breakdancing and The "Glide Wizard" [17:00 - 26:00]

A significant portion of the conversation centers around breakdancing, with Big Jay affectionately dubbing Ralph as “the Glide Wizard.” Dove humorously explains, “[25:37] Bobby Kelly: There's nobody better to ask,” highlighting Ralph’s expertise in the art form. The hosts recount their breakdancing days as the "Fast Action Rockers," reminiscing about their performances and the camaraderie that fueled their passion. Big Jay adds, “[24:14] Big Jay Oakerson: Maybe you guys were a government experiment,” playfully teasing their unique talents and styles.

Evolution of Comedy and Breakdancing [26:00 - 40:00]

The trio transitions into a discussion on how both comedy and breakdancing have evolved over the years. They debate whether breakdancing should be considered a sport, with Big Jay stating, “[27:46] Big Jay Oakerson: This is a way for... you know that breakdancing was invented as like a, you know, Guns for basketball program.” The conversation touches upon the integration of breakdancing into mainstream events like the Olympics and its transformation from street performance to competitive art.

Personal Growth and Reflections [40:00 - 55:00]

As the episode progresses, the guests reflect on personal growth and the shifts in their comedic styles. Christine Evans shares her ventures into radio and writing, humorously detailing her book, “[48:18] Christine Evans: It was a book on how to lose weight.” They discuss the challenges of maintaining authenticity in comedy and the impact of changing personal lives on their careers. Dove poignantly remarks, “[55:01] Dove Davidoff: We haven't seen. We haven't seen the full set. You can't judge somebody from little pieces,” emphasizing the importance of understanding the depth behind comedic performances.

Modern Comedy Landscape and Social Commentary [55:00 - 63:32]

In the final segment, the conversation shifts to the modern landscape of comedy, social media’s influence, and the differences between past and present comedic interactions. They critique contemporary comedy's shift away from the gritty, confrontational style of their early days. Big Jay expresses frustration, “[60:11] Big Jay Oakerson: The problem with Bobby watches young black comics do it,” highlighting generational and stylistic changes within the comedy community. The episode concludes with humorous exchanges about maintaining comedic integrity and the enduring bonds formed through shared experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Dove Davidoff [02:02]: "Bad Company by Bad Company on the album Bad Company. Isn't it track four, though."
• Big Jay Oakerson [04:07]: "Faction talk series XM103 Big Jokerson, the great Robert Kelly."
• Bobby Kelly [07:03]: "It's a Pyrrhic Victory, meaning you're gonna lose more than you gain living like that."
• Dove Davidoff [25:37]: "I'm sorry. Why, gee whiz."
• Big Jay Oakerson [26:00]: "It's a way for... you know that breakdancing was invented as like a, you know, Guns for basketball program."
• Christine Evans [48:18]: "It was a book on how to lose weight."
• Dove Davidoff [55:01]: "We haven't seen the full set. You can't judge somebody from little pieces."

Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire offers a rich tapestry of stories from the early days of stand-up comedy and breakdancing, intertwined with personal reflections and humorous exchanges. Ralph Sutton and Dove Davidoff bring depth and nostalgia to the conversation, allowing listeners to glimpse the camaraderie and chaos that shaped their careers. Big Jay Oakerson masterfully navigates the dialogue, ensuring a seamless flow that is both engaging and informative. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode provides an insightful and entertaining journey through the lives of these seasoned comedians.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Christine Evans]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I played this because it ties together our generations. It brings together all of our generations. Everyone had to learn this song. Dove and I learned it from our fathers. You are our father.

[Christine Evans]

I taught my kid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you were there when they played the song live.

[Dove Davidoff]

I didn't have a father.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. You had no shot of knowing who this is. But everybody knows this is Bobby. Even you know this is.

[Dove Davidoff]

I had to learn this on the street. Yeah, I learned this on the street from a bus driver going to West Medford.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on, Bobby, tell me, tell me. Album, song and band. It's only one answer, dude. Yes.

[Dove Davidoff]

And this is. You said it though. It's not fair because you said live at Wimberley.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you have to know that. But I mean, it's Bad Company. It's Bad Company by Bad Company on the album Bad Company. Isn't it track four, though.

[Dove Davidoff]

Bad Company.

[Christine Evans]

I don't know, Jay.

[Dove Davidoff]

This is what I'm keeping right now. Bad Company. Welcome to the bonfire, Sam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You always bring the good stuff.

[Dove Davidoff]

I bring the heat.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the heat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Faction talk series XM103 Big Jokerson, the great Robert Kelly. We have two amazing guests hanging out with us for the entire entire show tonight. Everybody from the SDR Shamael Stomping Grounds. The SDR show. It is the hilarious Ralph Sutton and Dove Davidoff.

[Dove Davidoff]

I tell you, when you said that Dove was replacing Jay on the show, I. At first I was like, I don't even know you guys knew each other.

[Christine Evans]

We didn't.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh, so you didn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You just.

[Dove Davidoff]

How did you come up with.

[Bobby Kelly]

He gave me a call by way of a girl I used to see.

[Christine Evans]

A girl that we all know, that.

[Dove Davidoff]

We all had a piece.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. I don't know if I've ever told you the connective tissue of Dove and Ralph.

[Dove Davidoff]

Was it Jessica Kirsten? No.

[Christine Evans]

Well, can I say, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay, Christine, let me give you a say again.

[Dove Davidoff]

Should I whisper it? You whisper it into a microphone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, that's the one, dog. I don't know you, but you should have. You should have hung in there and found out and then you would know, buddy.

[Dove Davidoff]

Do I know her?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot of comics do. I don't think you did particularly.

[Dove Davidoff]

Is she a comic?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Dove Davidoff]

Okay.

[Christine Evans]

Oh, but can I say what happened was Esti.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She. You guessed it.

[Dove Davidoff]

You guys banged Esti together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, Christine, I guess your whisper wasn't whispery enough.

[Christine Evans]

She reached out to me and said, you should hire my. She said at the time, my boyfriend. And I wrote back, who the fuck is your boyfriend? Right. And then she.

[Dove Davidoff]

Did you whisper it like that?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, I forgot you could curse for a second. Sorry. Who the fuck all lowercase text who?

[Dove Davidoff]

Are you serious?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not gay.

[Christine Evans]

And then she said. She said, dove Davidoff. And then I said, who the David.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's the shittiest thing.

[Christine Evans]

Well, and then I looked him up and I was following him on Instagram, like, oh, I know this guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And very popular for a very long time.

[Christine Evans]

I'm an idiot. We know I'm an idiot. You know me, 20 years.

[Dove Davidoff]

Guy's a real estate mogul, a movie star, a television producer, and one of.

[Bobby Kelly]

The funniest guys I'm trying to get, you know, I mean, this. This what you guys are doing. I'm. I'm trying to get involved, but, you know, I, I stepped out for a while.

[Dove Davidoff]

Dove is the Brad pit of stand up.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a hardlet.

[Dove Davidoff]

Let me tell you something, Dove. Back. Back in the day. I remember one night.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you were like that back in the day too.

[Dove Davidoff]

Me, Me and Keith were hang. We were talking to these young girls out front and we were giving them all the thing. What you girls doing? Giving them all our great lines. And all of a sudden, I, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You.

[Dove Davidoff]

I looked up in the tree and there was like a bunch of crows. And the air changed. And then I looked over Steve Byrne, Godfrey, and Dove would just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On my life. I was gonna. I was gonna say that name. I was gonna say, you guys were the stories.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of yesteryear. Of all the pussy and the waitresses and everything. And Dove and Steve Byrne were the guys living it. Me and Kurt were outside smoking.

[Dove Davidoff]

We looked over at these young lions looking over at the old lions with like a half an ear, one gray.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eye, mange covered man.

[Dove Davidoff]

Me and Keith, we went like this. Hey girls, take it easy. Well, see, remember we slowly backed away and we presented the girls to you. And they. You walked in and you. You got them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Father time comes for everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Sharad Shod was the other sh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sh was a hyena hanging out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then it's a hyena.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just wait for the other guy to kill it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then Derosa de Rosa moved in.

[Dove Davidoff]

And then drag it up a tree.

[Bobby Kelly]

Drag it up a tree, get it the out of reach of the other hy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When Derosa moved in, I was close enough to Derosa that I saw the game of the Coxman that I was not able to do because I had a young child at home. It's the only reason. It had nothing to do with loyalty to my ex.

[Dove Davidoff]

You did the. You did the thing in reverse. You either have the kid young and then enjoy your later years or what I did, you have the kid older and then you got to settle down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or you do.

[Christine Evans]

What I did is don't have a kid and live a life like.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, you do. The Larry from Three Stooges. Three's Company.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

At least you don't have to worry about abandoning your son by natural causes in the next 10, 15 years.

[Christine Evans]

That's why I don't want to do it now.

[Dove Davidoff]

Wait a minute. What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Christine Evans]

He said I'm going to die in 10 years?

[Dove Davidoff]

No, he said. I'm pretty sure he said I was going to die.

[Bobby Kelly]

How old your kid?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's 22. Yeah, 22 now. So I. I had a kid younger because the game was. And I once I started having the excuse of 2:00am, 2:30am spots at the Cellar.

[Dove Davidoff]

You had a kid cuz you were too much of a to get an abortion?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Dove Davidoff]

That Puerto Rican scared that Colombian scared the out of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She would wake up, it was the cold metal of the hanger. Every time she would fall asleep, she'd feel it. No, I started hanging out. I started having a little more fun when I found the game is. And Derosa perfected this hang till 5am oh God. Be there till 4 when it's done. And then shoot the shit smoking cigarettes outside.

[Dove Davidoff]

And then very close to what Cosby did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's also a Pyrrhic Victory, meaning you're gonna lose more than you gain living like that. It's too much. You get the tail, but after that, you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The thing. The thing that I was least envious that was envious that he was able to kind of have the freedom to do whatever he wanted to do as far as I went. But it did feel nice. That three out of every five, at least.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Three out every five. He's rolling home at like 4 in the morning. I'm still up, like, playing video games or something. And he was just like, he could have drove home with me. It's like, yeah, I took the subway and it was this. And there's a weird guy, and it's four in the morning, so he did a lot of that.

[Dove Davidoff]

I love the fact that we all just, you know, just pretended like we knew it. A pair of victory.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whatever you said pair of victories when you lose more than you gain.

[Dove Davidoff]

We all shook our heads like, yeah, it's like a pair of victory, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like winning. It's like winning the pick three. You've put more into it than you'll.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ever want a little bit. But you got. You got sober early, so you never. You never hung till five in the morning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right. Even in your.

[Dove Davidoff]

Dude crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did.

[Dove Davidoff]

Dude. Sex was my drug, dude. I remember hanging out. I remember the sun coming up my stomach.

[Bobby Kelly]

I remember young Bobby when you heard.

[Dove Davidoff]

The bird on McDougal Street.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

I remember one morning I was with this girl on a curb. We just spent the night. It took me forever. I took her to the French roast.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the roast.

[Dove Davidoff]

I took her back to McDougal Street.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a class operation.

[Dove Davidoff]

Finally, I was ready. I tell you what, Fritz, in a.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no doubt about it. And it's open late night, and it's got atmosphere.

[Dove Davidoff]

Atmosphere. Little candles. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She got treated to a piece of your pole and a French roast. That's a hot scene.

[Dove Davidoff]

We brought her back. And I remember Godfrey hooked up with a girl. I seen him driving his little Honda, and I scre. I was on the thing. The sun was coming up. I go, Godfrey, he jammed brakes, and he was like, yo. Yeah. And he hit a homeless guy. He backed out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now, I don't know how, but Ralph may be more of a coxman than both of you in your primes, because Ralph somehow finds a way to get hot. And being in bed by 9:30pm still to this day.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, I go to bed early. I just. It is what it is. That's my. I would much rather be up at 6 in the morning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The inventor of the afternoon threesome.

[Dove Davidoff]

We have to find. We had to get head in parks. He had his own place. We had to get blown in vestibules. You know, many times I. I wait for somebody to go into their little thing and I'd sneak into the vestibule and just. Yeah, because the. The. The door, the window was here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you had a roommate, right?

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, I had the room. I get blown in the hallway a bunch of times. I got blown in other people's vestibules.

[Bobby Kelly]

So sweet. Those were the days.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh, those are the days when you go down the stairway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Where the garbage is.

[Bobby Kelly]

You had the experience of being a gay hooker without actually doing it. Just in vestibul.

[Christine Evans]

I never thought I heard the word vestibule so much in a 30 second.

[Dove Davidoff]

How many times you get blown? Fool around the cellar.

[Bobby Kelly]

I never went into. I. I've gotten a hand job in the cell like a gentleman, but never blown. I'm not an animal. I don't break those kinds of rules.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, this is remind. I forgot the. Remember I. I told you that Wayne found the. The words from that Craigslist ad? Yeah, from years ago. So. Years ago. Ralph, you definitely know stories. Yeah.

[Christine Evans]

The girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got caught cheating really bad. And the one girl put up a. Sent me. Or put up a craigslist ad.

[Christine Evans]

You're in a Rocky pose, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, it was bad. It was the rocky pose touching like this. Yeah, for sure. And she sent me the thing more.

[Dove Davidoff]

Like a Heather Locklear pose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I was. What was so funny was what she texted me. When? Before that craigslist ad went out. Her thing was, you know, she sent me like a fuck you message, which I deserved. All of it. And her last words were. He goes, I'm gonna fuck Dove David off.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Son of a bitch. That's no way to treat a man.

[Dove Davidoff]

Tell you what. Remember the time we went boxing and you and I chipped your tooth?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby swung a left hook at me. We were going to the body. Bobby freaks out, hits me in the face and chips my tooth.

[Dove Davidoff]

I still chip. That's when I learned when Dove really knows how to box.

[Christine Evans]

Dove can box.

[Dove Davidoff]

He went like this. Ah, you chipped my tooth, Bob. You went a little crazy. 17 punches through my head.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was fun that night though. Colin was there and Keith came. It was fun.

[Dove Davidoff]

That's how Keith had his first stroke.

[Bobby Kelly]

Viagra story's a lie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys did too many. That circle of your friends, Bobby, your contemporaries have a lot of. We had to be pulled apart from fighting over like fake fighting at first. The Opie and Anthony thing is one of the funnies. If there was anything I wish I could go back in time and be a part of it was Voss and Keith wrapped in bubble tape having the blindfold fight. And Voss ended up throwing a. They ended up kicking each other at one point or something. That was crazy big.

[Dove Davidoff]

Big boxing mitts, like the oversized ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Keith. Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

And they blindfolded them and they were fighting tremendous. But I remember what didn't talk to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Each other for days.

[Dove Davidoff]

Voss is such a piece of shit. Keith was getting him. And then Voss picked up his blindfold.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no.

[Dove Davidoff]

Looked at Keith, turned his body towards him and then threw a Karate. Kicked. But like fat Elvis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, fat Jersey Elvis.

[Dove Davidoff]

And Keith grabbed him and slammed him on the ground and went, come on. Turn Philly.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got on North Philly.

[Dove Davidoff]

We were laughing so hard at those. That video. Somewhere the evil doesn't exist anymore. Twitter soon.

[Christine Evans]

Like I would think there is no way I would ever be talked into hitting you. Like, I could never do it. So did they just really not like each other?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, it's not talked into. They were doing a bit even.

[Christine Evans]

So it would. If the bit was me punching you. I'm do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm bad at it. I told you before. I did a thing where we had the box, me and Mike Vecchione and the whole. It was like a skit or sketch of some sort where we had to take a Sergio Chacon 10, 12 years ago. 10, 12 years ago. He puts us in like through a little like, you know, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 1. You know, doing that whole. For like an hour. And then we were supposed to go in and do three one minute rounds of boxing. Me and Becky Owen. And we had no discussion about what we were gonna do or anything. I just assumed we're both friends and love each other and don't want to do something. And I'm pawing at him a little bit. And if he just sent one up the pike and punch me. And my eyes teared because. Two reasons. Straight shot. And then I was like, why would my friend do that to me?

[Bobby Kelly]

Your partner was emotional.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I spent the next three. The other two and a half minutes through two rounds, crying, just covering up and like pushing him away. I was like, I hate this. I can't do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Close.

[Dove Davidoff]

Were you there when me. Was it me? You, Eddie, if. Remember we got the. The college girls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Was it me, Eddie and the older comic who used to give roses out.

[Christine Evans]

Jesus.

[Dove Davidoff]

At the end, remember he had a rose at the. Like he would have this corny field. Steve something. Yeah, Dangerfields.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh no, Steve. Oh come on.

[Dove Davidoff]

What's his name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Steve Marshall.

[Dove Davidoff]

Steve Marshall.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Marshall.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not here to behave, dude. I'm not here to behave.

[Dove Davidoff]

Wait a second.

[Bobby Kelly]

Does everybody like pizza joke?

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm not here to behave, buddy. So it was me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was it me?

[Bobby Kelly]

You? Did you just do a joke about Disneyland? You have to tell us you're not here to behave.

[Dove Davidoff]

It was me, you, Steve Marshall and Eddie Ift hooked up with a gaggle of girls one night.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I think so.

[Dove Davidoff]

And then Eddie Ift broke off, did some weird. Broke off with his girl. Yeah, it sounds about me, you and Steve Marshall. But the. Steve hooked the one girl was a lesbian.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Dove Davidoff]

So Steve went with her because he was older. You hooked up with your girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well established.

[Dove Davidoff]

Cuz we were like, hey dude, you got to take this. You got to take the hit. I had. I had a brunette with dreadlocks and you had the blonde. And then we went. I went in, we did our thing. And then. I remember me. We were in the. We were in the living room and we look back and Steve is on his knees.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was Steve doing?

[Dove Davidoff]

He was going down on the. She was like, ah, it. Go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was standing or on a. On a.

[Dove Davidoff]

Laying down. She was on a couch. And he was down the hallway. And we looked down. He just went, hey. He just gave us the thumbnail.

[Christine Evans]

Say I'm not here to behave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at me not behaving.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that's where he created the Marshall.

[Dove Davidoff]

And then. And then Eddie if he wasn't there to behave, Eddie if came back. The girl came back with Eddie if she was like, he's fucking nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then Eddie was nuts because he.

[Dove Davidoff]

Made her watch his special.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh no, I love it.

[Dove Davidoff]

And then he made a go. He made her check out his. His headshots.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh my God.

[Dove Davidoff]

And she was like, I want to leave. And he's like, you can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh my God.

[Dove Davidoff]

Because my sister will get mad.

[Bobby Kelly]

God, that's so weird.

[Dove Davidoff]

So then she finally was like, fuck you, I'm leaving. And she just wanted to fuck. And he.

[Bobby Kelly]

He wanted to watch it by himself doing stand up with her.

[Dove Davidoff]

These girls just want bang comics.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a movie where they shoot someone's memories back into them all at once. And they. I mean, Steve, I would have never thought of his name again. I would have never thought of him again. And this is. I mean the rabbit hole I'm about to go into on Steve Marshall on digging this. Some old Steve Marshall, because. Yeah, that was it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You ever worked New York comedy club with him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't behave. Not New York comedy Club. It was Danger Fields. I would see.

[Dove Davidoff]

He was always at Danger Fields and New York. For some reason. He was at the Cellar that night. And he just. We would. We. He just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The greatest night of his life. Granted, I was all about the Zara. I ate some lesbian buzz, dude.

[Dove Davidoff]

It was like an independent. I remember I was wearing the girls. She had like a boa coat and I was shirtless on the roof wearing her thing. It was wild. Yeah, that girl came back and ratted Eddie Ifdel for being a fucking.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Just a sissy.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was the greatest part of the night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Don't behave. Don't behave. Use plastic bags. Don't behave.

[Dove Davidoff]

Seeing this guy down there, I go, what's he doing? He was on his knees. I thought he was sick or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he was sick all right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, please bring up some Steve Marshall. Some little Best of Steve Marshall. I'm pretty sure if you can find a hits compilation.

[Dove Davidoff]

He created this character after that, that night, by the way. He did not do this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you remember, Bobby, Have I ever showed you this before you came on the show? I think, yeah. One of the best, like you could find like comedians reels on YouTube now that they just post them. Some people unironically, some people to be like, how funny is this real? I put together the best of the best is Peaches Rodriguez. Because Peaches Rodriguez has, you know, Peaches Rodriguez. Do you remember her?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know where.

[Dove Davidoff]

I barely remember.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's not no one. I don't know her act either. Really. It's not even about her act. It's that her reel is her doing comedy with horrific audio. Horrific. It's like the camera. It's like the microphone in the camera at the comic strip. Like, it's wacky. So she sounds terrible, but it's also. She's like. Was around the time of breakdancing days. Ralph.

[Christine Evans]

You're welcome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ralph's a breakdancer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Glide Wizard.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry about all this comic talk, Ralph, but she.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then in between. So. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whoa, wait. I gotta get it. Go back to the beginning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Please do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hilarious.

[Dove Davidoff]

Dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so funny. It's just like. It's like. Cause you know a man, like is gonna take you on a date. Cause you better pay for that drink. I love that.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is before she did that Interact.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yet this is before editing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. Oh, you know what? I'm for sure. The end of her set, she would break the end of her set. She did a little.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was her brand.

[Dove Davidoff]

Before editing was easy because she had the Toshiba DVD welcome credit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She ripped it. She Screamer. But she's doing the dances unrelate. No, it's like, hi. It's like, hey, if you want me to be in your sitcom or be on your TV show, here's my tape of my comedy. And God forbid, maybe you need someone to fucking pop and lock in the background. I could also pull that off. Please give us the. Yeah, you're gonna love this.

[Dove Davidoff]

She's kind of hot, Peaches.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she's older now, but I mean, yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

I mean, not now, but in this video. She's not bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop trying to find the positive.

[Christine Evans]

Not. Not on that still, right?

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm not trying to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Peach is a doll.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to beach for a long time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This reel is batshit.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm not trying to be positive. I'm saying she's kind of hot. I remembered her as not hot. You know what? I was wrong. I was looking at the side of her pop locking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were watching her pop lock from the side.

[Dove Davidoff]

I was watching a pop lock that close up on her. On her panda eyes.

[Bobby Kelly]

She gotta steal Bobby's heart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'd DJ Lou if he was pop.

[Dove Davidoff]

Locking from the side pop lock. Who wouldn't?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on, give me a taste.

[Dove Davidoff]

For Christmas. When owner Rider gave me this earring. What is this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pause it. Pause it and go back again. Let me explain the video prop joke.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then she break dances. That's crazy. That's triple hack. Nobody's ever done that. That's a quadruple hack. We haven't seen that to the 85 Olympics.

[Dove Davidoff]

And she landed it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And she landed it triple lily.

[Dove Davidoff]

That was a 10.

[Bobby Kelly]

Holy Michael Phelps this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So for. For the people listening at home, she says, winona Rider got me these earrings for my birthday. And then her ears. So I just know from someone who did a prop thing in my set before when I first started that the fact that she has to. How many times she's turned around a car. I forgot the fucking earring. It's an earring with like the big tag that you have to take off of this. Or by the way, earrings have never had that tag on them. By the way, that's for clothes. But the bit was there when I used to get down to my underwear and stuff like that. On stage in the black rooms. It was same thing. I'd have to be like. I'd be wearing the most uncomfortable, ridiculous underwear all day. Cause I go to prepare for my five minute open mic.

[Dove Davidoff]

Savvy. It's insurance, buddy. I got my fake plastic buck teeth because that was my 15 minutes. I actually. I wound up putting them on a keychain. I cut a hole. Cause I kept forgetting them. And that was most of my act.

[Bobby Kelly]

Early comedy's so shameful. Hey, look at so much shame.

[Dove Davidoff]

Walk into a hardware store and go, you got a file.

[Christine Evans]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Aruba Ray. Aruba Ray keeps a hairstyle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We got awesome Ben Franklin or whatever.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Something about being. Have you seen me on the head of a nickel?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that pisses me right off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Red's a funny spirit. He's got a generous spirit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, but yeah, having to commit to something all day. Remember Hood at the Hood used to have to. I mean, 911.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ralph knows everything about music. This is. This is fine. Hood. That dynamite, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he was. He did it. But. But before 9 11. And then it just had the. He did. He came back and did it one time. It didn't go well.

[Dove Davidoff]

No, no, no. He. No, it killed. He brought Manny. Stopped using him. 911 happened the week of that Friday and Saturday. He called Hood and said, you have to work all the shows. And we all. He did a joke and then he pulls up on my Iranian or something. He pulls his shirt up and it's a fucking bomb. And we all ran downstairs hoping they just start attacking him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not again. Never again.

[Dove Davidoff]

We were very bummed out that they got it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So anyway, so Peach Rodriguez gives you her stolen. Her stolen earrings joke. Go ahead. This went on.

[Dove Davidoff]

A rider gave me this earring. Oh, God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So dating's weird. So dating's pretty crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

A weak prop joke and then cut to pop. Locking down what looks to be a cobblestone street. That is tremendous.

[Dove Davidoff]

I want to make a suggestion. She went too long on the dancing. Just a couple seconds and it would have went boom right into the joke. Almost like a Seinfeld bit.

[Christine Evans]

But also she has multiple camera angles on the dancing and can't get a microphone for the stage. It's kind of weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she's dancing. Her dancing is the equivalent of the.

[Dove Davidoff]

That's it. That's exactly it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's doing comedy to get seen as a breakdancer. Very few people take that route.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, well, stand up's gonna get my foot in the door.

[Bobby Kelly]

I Gotta be seen. Somehow he goes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And once I get that foot in the door, I'm gonna worm the rest of my body through it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna pop block my way through.

[Dove Davidoff]

Jay, you should do this for your next special. In between jokes, you should transition by dancing on the street.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, dude, I look at Rerun. I'm gonna fucking have big rainbow suspenders and just do the big floppy hat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ross, were you a competitive breakdancer?

[Christine Evans]

I mean, we used to battle. What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, it was a competitive breakdancer.

[Christine Evans]

Competitive is a weird word, but we would battle.

[Bobby Kelly]

What would you do? You were up against the great Peaches Rodriguez.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have at it. I've just. I've made every joke you can make about this.

[Christine Evans]

I'm not making up a word is what they called it. You'd go. I'd go to Coney island and we would have break dance battles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Did you have your own cardboard?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, our own one, only we didn't take cardboard. We took linoleum just for his knees.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm sorry.

[Christine Evans]

Linoleum would be better. It was better for it.

[Dove Davidoff]

God forbid, I didn't get cardboard.

[Christine Evans]

Could get wet, you know?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, cardboard's softer on your knees. When you lose, you gotta blow the competition.

[Christine Evans]

We used to make a fortune because we were four white kids. Well, one of them was Spanish. But we would make tons of money in the city. Breakdancing on the weekends. It's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tons of money?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, like a few hundred dollars each for a day.

[Bobby Kelly]

You mean Puerto Rico?

[Dove Davidoff]

Is that the origins of gas digital?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's how it all started from Ralph's busking days.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, we were 14. 14. A few hundred dollars, a lot of money.

[Dove Davidoff]

How tall were you at 14?

[Christine Evans]

5, 7.

[Dove Davidoff]

5 7. So you weren't as big as.

[Christine Evans]

I wasn't as big. I grew 6 inches in a year.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His brother still far. His twin brother, foot shorter.

[Christine Evans]

Five seven. He's still five seven.

[Dove Davidoff]

Well, you injected with something.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe you guys were a government experiment. I mean, you are Jews. You know, they try to figure out the Jews. Why do you get uncomfortable?

[Bobby Kelly]

You never know.

[Dove Davidoff]

Can I ask you a question? When did. When did you give. When did you give up the dream?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The dream?

[Dove Davidoff]

I got it. Let me just give you a shot of this. When did you give. When did you give up the dream of breakfast?

[Bobby Kelly]

He lost the linoleum.

[Dove Davidoff]

What happened?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, what happened? You know, I never. I never got great. I was never great.

[Dove Davidoff]

Really?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. I was good enough for a white kid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was good.

[Christine Evans]

But we weren't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the does happen.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah. What's that mean?

[Christine Evans]

The best breakdowns were not white.

[Dove Davidoff]

That's.

[Christine Evans]

I don't know what the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

An extra bow in your ankle.

[Christine Evans]

They called us the Mighty Whitey. They told you that? A bunch of times.

[Dove Davidoff]

Did you have shirts?

[Christine Evans]

No. We had shirts, but not that said Mighty Whitey. We had our. Our break dancing crew was called the Fast Action Rockers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my crazy.

[Dove Davidoff]

Wait a minute. You had a shirt that said the.

[Christine Evans]

Fast Far Action Rockers? My name was. What was my name? Jay. What was my breakdancing name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

G Wiz. The Glide Wizard.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm sorry. Why, gee whiz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

G Wiz is why.

[Christine Evans]

Short for the Glide Wizards. But when you saw I moved, you're like, gee whiz, that's amazing.

[Dove Davidoff]

What is glide? What is glide?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well, Ralph was. I'm not going to explain this. I'm just going to let you know you're asking the right person because he's the wizard of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's nobody better to ask.

[Christine Evans]

The grand wizard of the Glide. Spinning on one hand so you could.

[Dove Davidoff]

Spin on one hand. And that's called gliding.

[Christine Evans]

That was called gliding. Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

What is another move?

[Christine Evans]

Windmills. Which you've seen a million times.

[Dove Davidoff]

Seen the windmills? Yeah.

[Christine Evans]

Head spins.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll windmill battle you right now.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you go first.

[Dove Davidoff]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know how to do it. You have to do it first.

[Christine Evans]

I couldn't do it now. I'm too big.

[Dove Davidoff]

He can't win, though. He has a mitten on. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's exactly how I win.

[Dove Davidoff]

Not on carpet. That's right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm dressed like Turbo Anno Zone at all times.

[Dove Davidoff]

Were you mad when that Australian girl entered?

[Christine Evans]

I was great. I loved it.

[Dove Davidoff]

Did you get mad, though?

[Christine Evans]

I got mad at it because I still watch.

[Dove Davidoff]

You love the art.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Holy shit.

[Christine Evans]

I'm amazed by the art.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. You don't still watch Breakdance. I do.

[Christine Evans]

My brother and I will send each other breakdancing videos now. Still to this day.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You almost made Jacob leave the room.

[Christine Evans]

Because it's amazing what they can do now. It's wild what they could do now.

[Dove Davidoff]

What can they do now that we.

[Christine Evans]

If I would have. If it was.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm gonna tell you right now. Breakdown. Breakdown hasn't progressed.

[Christine Evans]

Oh, it has. So much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not even sort of.

[Christine Evans]

Not even kind of, sort of so much.

[Dove Davidoff]

What? What? What did they do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I watched it in the Olympics. It's the same things that happen in Breaking.

[Christine Evans]

So, like you would say, if you're a casual f that you don't understand the nuance of differences.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no such thing as a casual fan of Breakdance.

[Christine Evans]

You guys are watching it. You don't see a difference. That's what that is.

[Dove Davidoff]

We make fun of it.

[Christine Evans]

That's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We watch it because we go, how is this an Olympic sport? People should be ashamed of themselves.

[Christine Evans]

Like a real breakdown.

[Dove Davidoff]

Ralph, let me ask you a question. How could it. Because the body can only do so much. How could it evolve so much over the years to where it's different than it was in the 80s?

[Christine Evans]

Just like for instance. Here's a great comparison. If you would look at the best boxer from 100 years ago. Let's say the first big boxer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Terrible. No, it is terrible example.

[Christine Evans]

Or MMA fighters. Take an MMA fighter back then, the best of the best to someone now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Terrible example.

[Christine Evans]

They have just gotten better at it because of the fact that they've improved the style. They've improved.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're taking a theory that applies to sports very much. I agree with you.

[Christine Evans]

It's the same thing. Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Agree it is not. First of all, it's not a sport.

[Dove Davidoff]

You call it a sport.

[Christine Evans]

It was in the Olympics.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is a way for.

[Dove Davidoff]

Check it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know that breakdancing was invented as like a, you know, Guns for basketball program. Try to keep pieces of off the street.

[Dove Davidoff]

Can I say something? Big J wants explain.

[Christine Evans]

Look at that. None of that I could do. No one would do that back then.

[Dove Davidoff]

Big J once. Nobody explained to me one time that I was two years away from not going to jail and solving most of my problems as a youth with Dance Breakdance.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. That's right. You're just a little too early.

[Dove Davidoff]

I was just a little too early.

[Bobby Kelly]

Had you gotten some linoleum and a glass of water, you could have been scot free.

[Dove Davidoff]

I would have been gliding my way.

[Christine Evans]

The glide apprentice. You could have been.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now, what happened with sports is I agree with the idea that Kobe Bryant was better than Michael Jordan. LeBron James might be better than both of them. And it's because they grew up watching a person who made innovation on it.

[Christine Evans]

Big on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's correct that all the moves you can do in holding your body in the air have been done since 1987.

[Christine Evans]

If you wanted to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a move and now chicks do.

[Christine Evans]

It that that no one could do when we were kids. It was called the Flare Girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Breakdancing was so nonsensical and ridiculous. They made two films about it of how crazy it would be breaking one and breaking two.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And it was ridiculous.

[Christine Evans]

You know that. As I proved to you on the show, I have an album credit from the girl that wrote. Wrote the song for breaking Glide.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wizard, Baby.

[Christine Evans]

Thanks to Ralph and Joe Sutton for my break dance lesson. Carolyn Towns, she gave you a credit? Yeah, on the album. For her breakdance lessons. It says. It says it in the album.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bring up the liner notes.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, I showed it to you on sdr, remember?

[Dove Davidoff]

Did you have a studio with like a bar and you had a sweatband where people would come up in the East Village? Did you do that for a small time?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. For a small time.

[Dove Davidoff]

Were you like. You were like Tony?

[Christine Evans]

I was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you ever. Phone call.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stick in his mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you ever have a phone call with friends saying, like, guys, I had a dream last night. We got to practice this move together. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's called the Glide.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's called the Glide, and I am a wizard of it.

[Dove Davidoff]

Have you ever gone into your closet and grabbed your linoleum, Your big boombox?

[Christine Evans]

Not that long ago, someone announced that you're homosexual. Someone challenged me. I lost the bed and I had to do the worm. And I was able to do it.

[Dove Davidoff]

You know what type of glide you could do on that forehead?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your headspins would be devastating.

[Christine Evans]

My brother went bald from headspins.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think that's what happened?

[Christine Evans]

I haven't.

[Dove Davidoff]

No.

[Christine Evans]

Back then he had a little bald spot on his head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that good? What was his name? Headspin?

[Christine Evans]

His name was Shock.

[Dove Davidoff]

Shock what?

[Christine Evans]

Just shocked.

[Dove Davidoff]

Just shocked.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ralph was a hacker, too.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, I was a computer hackers wanted by the FBI.

[Dove Davidoff]

Was that movie one of my favorite movies?

[Christine Evans]

It was based on my life.

[Dove Davidoff]

No, it was not.

[Christine Evans]

No, it was not.

[Dove Davidoff]

I was about to be a big fan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's the Van Wilder of espionager. Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

So you were you a real hacker?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. The FBI came to my house and put me in jail. We had to get a lawyer and everything.

[Dove Davidoff]

It's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Luckily, there was a lawyer in the family.

[Christine Evans]

There was a lawyer in the family.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to hear the breaking group.

[Dove Davidoff]

But luckily, luckily, the sergeant was a fan of.

[Christine Evans]

Of my break.

[Dove Davidoff]

G. Glide.

[Christine Evans]

Is this the G. Is this the Glide?

[Bobby Kelly]

The Glide Wizard. He said Glide Wizard. I'm gonna get you out of here real fast.

[Dove Davidoff]

Hey, wait. Stop, stop, stop. Get those cuffs off him.

[Christine Evans]

Prohibiting from gliding.

[Dove Davidoff]

Do me a favor. Get that fridge cardboard over here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Johnson, get some lolium.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, you been on Glass dragon. You should have you d your way out of the cuffs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Or at least the peaches Rodriguez, pop lock out, please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Give me another taste of peaches. Rodriguez, pop out of the cuffs.

[Dove Davidoff]

We got you. Easy Glide.

[Bobby Kelly]

Easy Glide.

[Dove Davidoff]

You go. Did you. You just drop and then you. You worm away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're going to need more cops.

[Dove Davidoff]

We're going to do Breaking three with Glide Wizard.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was your name again? The Glide Wizard.

[Dove Davidoff]

Glide Wizard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Breaking three.

[Dove Davidoff]

Electric boogie. Electric boogaly with him. And we do it with all the cast. That is old right now.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, I'm probably all equally as good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ozone just died. I think Turbo might be parking cars in Los Angeles. And that girl hasn't done a movie since Ninja 3, the Domination. So you know that much. Loosened a dickey, dude. She got a three picture deal with Golden Globus Productions. That was a whole sham operation. And they made Breaking one and two. Nobody cared for a three. And they had to give her another movie, the Domination.

[Dove Davidoff]

Jay spent a lot of his time.

[Christine Evans]

On his belly on YouTube, on IMDb.

[Dove Davidoff]

Apparently during the weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen to Dickie. She married a producer, got rich. That's why she didn't disappear. Yeah, so she was hot for a minute when you. Mom. Haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, sweet haircut.

[Dove Davidoff]

When you were a hacker, the FBI did arrest you.

[Christine Evans]

Well, so we're gonna talk about this all day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm talking about the career of Lucinda Dicky over here. I just want to know, was it going to be Ralph's hacking back 25.

[Bobby Kelly]

Years in the Clin.

[Dove Davidoff]

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm saying she had three featuring parts, including Ninja Turtles.

[Dove Davidoff]

What were you hacking?

[Christine Evans]

So we were doing dumb, like, cracking video games. And then we were changing grades, and we were changing our, like, electric bill and phone bill to be like $5 and shit like that and teaching other people how to do it in our school.

[Dove Davidoff]

And you were doing it back in the day, like when you had 14k modem.

[Christine Evans]

Before that, 300 board modems.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh, my God. You had to wait like, 20 minutes to get online.

[Christine Evans]

But it was all tech, so there was no. There was no Internet yet. Yet. It was all bulletin boards.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to hear how his name. I don't know how I ended up.

[Christine Evans]

That's not how they got us. But our. We didn't realize how stupid. Like, we would actually get traced back to us. Our hacking group, they all had, like, cool, like, mystery names. Ours was the Sutton brothers, which was our actual name.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hole in the Wall Gang gave their own last name. The Bacon Bros. Hey, guys, over here. I'm the one who did it.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. So stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just got. It's the 246 Avenue CS.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

If you work in quality control at a candy factory, you know strict safety.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Regulations come with the job.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's why you partner with Grainger. Grainger helps you find the high quality.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And compliant products your business needs to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Inspect, detect and help correct issues. And the sweetest part is everyone gets a product that's as safe to eat as it is delicious. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop.

[Christine Evans]

By Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey guys, it's spring cleaning time and let's start with your mop because that overgrown winter hair isn't doing you any favors. At Sport Clips Haircuts. They've got pro stylists who know men's hair, TVs playing sports 24, 7 and a place built for guys to get a great cut without the hassle. I think women are allowed. But why would you? If we're being honest, no appointments, no stress. Sports dudes, Haircuts. A fresh cut in a place that's made for you. So shake off the winter scruff and step into spring looking fresh because they have got you covered. Sport Clips. It's a game changer.

[Dove Davidoff]

Are you holding back on foreign travel plans this year because you are afraid of the language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel this year. Speak like a whole new you with Babbel, the language learning app that gets you talking. Babbel's 10 Minute Lessons, created by over 200 experts, help you start speaking a new language in three weeks or at your own pace. With a focus on practical, real world conversations. It makes learning to communicate easy and effective. I use it. I use it once a day, it pops up on my phone. I take a nice quick lesson, and I tell you what, it's been helping me out because I want to travel to South America. I want to go back to Cuba, and I don't want to be stuck sounding like a jackass going, how do you say, I want to speak Spanish? I want to speak Italian. And Babel is helping me get there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I believe it's el burro, not jackass.

[Dove Davidoff]

El burro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're being a real el burro.

[Dove Davidoff]

Gracias, Jay Omegle. Let's get more of you talking in a new language. This year, Babel is gifting our listeners. This is crazy. 60% off [e-mail] bonfire. Get up to. I'll say it again. 60% off babbel.com bonfire spelled b a b b e l.com bonfire babbel.com bonfire rules and restrictions apply. I just got denied global one entry and I never kn what. And they just. I had it. What reapplied for it. They denied it. Didn't know why. I finally found out why. And it's very similar to what his brother did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were a hacker.

[Dove Davidoff]

Do you know Jerry D. Yes. The comedian? Canadian guy?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Famous in Canada. Great guy. I did something for him. Years ago, maybe four years ago, I did something for him, made a connection. Just whatever. He sent me a box of Cuban cigars. Hoyos. So what's your favorite cigar?

[Bobby Kelly]

I said, oh, hoyos, it's bananas.

[Dove Davidoff]

Sent me a box of Cuban cigars, and on the package he wrote cuban cigars.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Dove Davidoff]

And sent it through customs.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's bananas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Elephant tusk.

[Bobby Kelly]

Got two Cubans and a stick of ivory and an African ivory and a rhino horn. And now he's in prison.

[Dove Davidoff]

Three Chinese, Asian girls, two undocumented Filipinos.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And a Ziploc bag with two different human ears in them.

[Bobby Kelly]

He opened a gift box and suddenly he's in the clink.

[Dove Davidoff]

They called me up and they're like, sir, we have this thing. Are you having Cuban? I was like, what? I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. They're like, well, you might want to tell your friend that if he's going to send you stuff, not ride. Cuban cigars on the package.

[Christine Evans]

Jesus Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Sutton brothers hacking.

[Dove Davidoff]

Because of that, I can't get Global Bananas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should have went to the Sutton brothers school of espionage.

[Bobby Kelly]

You hire a hacker from the Sutton brothers, you get right out of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, give me some Peaches Rodriguez. Would you please?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That's the equivalent of writing coke on the box. That's crazy. Yeah. 2.2 pounds of cocaine, coke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Parentheses, not the soda. And then a winky. And then a drawing of a winky face.

[Dove Davidoff]

Could you imagine if he was my drug dealer?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They call it fish scale.

[Dove Davidoff]

What the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, break me off some peaches.

[Christine Evans]

That's why I kind of consider myself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A new V. Shout out the medical office in the background.

[Dove Davidoff]

Get you guys home faster to us. Drive through straight clubs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Would you love when they hit the punchline real hard?

[Dove Davidoff]

Old renovated car washes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The women just drop down to your.

[Dove Davidoff]

Car, they bang up against you.

[Christine Evans]

She worked it on the table as well.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's using it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Quack quizzam.

[Dove Davidoff]

Burger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that was a funny. And the crowd was puzzled by the way Shane Gillis, me, Soder and James, his opener on an arena show this week, all committed to getting a hamburger in on stage at some point. Just going, hamburger in hamburger.

[Dove Davidoff]

I love doing that. I do that on weekdays, weekends too. I love doing that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everyone committed that we're gonna get in there. And then finally, like, when we went and looked online later, it was like, so, Vegas, what's the hamburger thing? They were like, no one has. No one had any clue.

[Dove Davidoff]

I did that with the word jizz bucket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody, you have to use it.

[Dove Davidoff]

Everybody has used jizz bucket.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a comic that uses that.

[Christine Evans]

I know Hamburger made it to Family Guy, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So they.

[Christine Evans]

I mean, that you'd think people would know it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's a big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they describe it well, too, in that he goes, yeah, like. Like comedian. Def Jam comedian Hamburger. Or Alonzo Hamburger Jones.

[Dove Davidoff]

So what else were you in your life?

[Christine Evans]

Ran a restaurant.

[Dove Davidoff]

You ran a. I went to cooking.

[Christine Evans]

School and ran a restaurant for four years in New York when. When I was in my early 30s.

[Dove Davidoff]

Really.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His mother had sex with everybody from.

[Christine Evans]

All the comedians from back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

From Rita Rudner's era.

[Dove Davidoff]

Your motherfuck. Colin Quinn.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. No, my mother. My mother ran a comedy club. So all the older comics know my mom, like Rachel Lewis, like Gilbert Gottfried in that era. You know, the Chris Rock. She's one of the first to put Chris Rock on stage.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was one of the, what, like, the most well known strip club DJs in the country. They would fly him out to show people how to do. Do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His mom was the first.

[Dove Davidoff]

How did you go from all this exciting to hanging with Louis Gomez?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then?

[Christine Evans]

I had the radio show for.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it was a. It was a radio broadcast.

[Christine Evans]

I had a radio show on 100.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stations for they say the come down is the hardest. Yeah, to come down, you come down. I was a hacker. Now I'm doing a little radio. Light radio.

[Dove Davidoff]

I was a hacker. Break dance.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Break me off a little. Steve Marshall, Is he behaving?

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably not yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'll tell you what. Polka nuts.

[Christine Evans]

I was able to figure out where that was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would play Polka nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you kidding? It's one of the best venues in the Poconos.

[Dove Davidoff]

That's a gay bar on the east side.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, sure is. Are you kidding? The polka nuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it's spelled differently. You poke. Poke.

[Bobby Kelly]

P ok. P, O, L, K. Poke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, poke.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah. You want to poke holes in jokes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Steve Marshall hear this anymore?

[Christine Evans]

Equally.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not really a big thing anymore. I don't know why we don't think that they're a big thing anymore. I mean, eventually somebody's going to disrespect your mother or your grandmother. I don't know why you don't think that this bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing echoes like a quarter filled theater. Have you guys ever seen this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you doing that show in a corn silo?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So where's all the couples? Couples?

[Bobby Kelly]

Put some people in the warehouse that you're working.

[Dove Davidoff]

A 12 minute setup doesn't help.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not here to behave.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, don't. Boris, get to the joke.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fact you, if I have manners, you should have manners. I grew up in Brooklyn, New York.

[Christine Evans]

Whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I swear to God. That was everybody.

[Christine Evans]

That's probably.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was. Every one of them clapped. He goes, calm down everybody. I only got an hour. I only got an hour up here.

[Dove Davidoff]

I love that he waited too. And he always waits.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it really earned. Earned the pause. Hey, Dave Chappelle is about to go on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like waiting, nodding your head at the audience, all directions. Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

He's doing a three camera shoot.

[Bobby Kelly]

He should sit down and give us time to process the density. The fucking density of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Holy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you're from Brooklyn. So you normally wouldn't be polite.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm getting it.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut the fuck up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Physics minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't know I needed a degree to watch this.

[Bobby Kelly]

E equals mc. What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Respect. Because if you didn't show respect, somebody would disrespect you hard.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where we grew up, there was a model in Brooklyn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get them before they get you.

[Bobby Kelly]

How can you be nice when you grow up in Brooklyn when the first phrase you hear every morning in Brooklyn is what the fuck are you looking at?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I Always say, when I watch fucking, like, road hack, stuff kill.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm like, why do. Why have I cultivated this super judgmental audience that needs so much from me? Why can't I just go up there.

[Christine Evans]

And do polka nuts? And you can do that. I imagine it's so wild when I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Watch those guys like, Jay, it's because you behave. Oh, yeah, that's true. I do tend to behave.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, you should stop behaving and maybe you can cultivate that type of audience.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you remember when Barry Sobel from TV's 227 started coming back around 20 years ago, he started coming around and then. Yeah, he would go on stage and not only was he doing, like, his old material, he was doing his old material that they used for his character in 227 when I was a child.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's crazy.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah. He used to come to the Cellar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why do you want to do it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I watched my first play. You ever look back at early stuff? I'm feel real shame. I'm nauseated, by the way. I would land on a punchline and act it out like it was any good, buddy.

[Dove Davidoff]

I used to sweat. I used to. I remember.

[Bobby Kelly]

So embarrassing.

[Dove Davidoff]

Just dripping sweat because I was running.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you're a preacher.

[Dove Davidoff]

Comedy screaming.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you don't. You're feeling space strong enough to go.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh, yeah.

[Christine Evans]

Are you guys saying that people improve over time? Like the break dancing.

[Dove Davidoff]

No, break dancing.

[Bobby Kelly]

This. First of all, I'm gonna say this.

[Dove Davidoff]

There's only fucking two moves in the cool and break dancing. The thing that you were good at, and the head spinning your brother was good at. And then everything else, it's just flipping your legs in the air, holding the chair. I just want to say thank you.

[Christine Evans]

To the room for proving my point. That's all I'm saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, everything's analogous to the break.

[Dove Davidoff]

I don't like that you're comparing stand.

[Christine Evans]

Up comedy to my former vocation in breakdancing.

[Dove Davidoff]

Is it dancing in a park?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You know, Steve missing a piece of linoleum up there.

[Dove Davidoff]

You always know it's a bad room when the chair is wooden. It's actually a bar stool from somebody's house.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a shiny oak.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, didn't we get. There's a good copy of one of Farah Abraham's bits, right? Farah Abraham, Teen Mom.

[Dove Davidoff]

We gotta go. Yeah, we got a little chunk of it. Yeah, she put it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she put it up.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, she put it up today. I sent it to the chat nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it good? Fairy.

[Dove Davidoff]

Hang on. Ask that a question again. What'd you say?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it fantastic? Do you guys know Far Away? I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't.

[Christine Evans]

I don't watch your garbage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

MTV. MTV's Teen mom back in the day. Okay, she. She was on that show when she was. Oh, she was on 16 and pregnant, I think. Right?

[Christine Evans]

Since you. By the way, since you left Str. Shannon has no one to talk about. About shitty television because Dub doesn't watch it either.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know anything about music either.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn.

[Dove Davidoff]

Do you know Bart break dancing?

[Christine Evans]

He knows.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, nothing. But. Are you kidding? I said. I said, we got the Glide wizard in person. When I saw him, I can't believe.

[Christine Evans]

He only knew me from my Glide wizard days. I didn't know who he was.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said his name was Ralph. I said, not the Glide Wizard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shannon's got. Shannon's job is to keep drawing conversation away from break dance. Guys, guys, you can't. You're gonna kill people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shannon pulled me aside and said, this show's gonna go under unless you get this kid off the breakdancing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you go, but I love break.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, but I have opinions, too. She said, shut them down. Shut them down. The Glide wizard starts. Yamme. Pull them back.

[Dove Davidoff]

God damn it. I want that shirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's a tremendous shirt. Oh, he has a modeling name, too.

[Christine Evans]

Oh, yeah, that's right. It was a model. Well, one time for Russia. No, no, I mean, that was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was a big. We did a big expose on this show about that.

[Bobby Kelly]

They were selling Siberian huskies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're talking about Bronzo. Bronzo Sensuality, tremendous.

[Dove Davidoff]

What did you model?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He modeled carrot oil.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. He sold cardboard squares in Brooklyn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Carrot oil is what they called suntan oil in the 50s.

[Dove Davidoff]

Wait a minute. Who the are you, dude?

[Christine Evans]

If you write a Ralph Sutton, Bronze Centrale, you'll find a picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't worry.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, there's Sal. Put it in the background of an image. Yeah, You're.

[Dove Davidoff]

You. You're a model. So you're a hacker.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's it. Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was it. If you go back, Bobby didn't see it because it's in the back on the window. It says Bronzo. That's him.

[Christine Evans]

Bronze.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's Ralph.

[Dove Davidoff]

And you're a model.

[Christine Evans]

Well, I. That was the one and only thing I ever did. Someone asked me to do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't diminish your accomplishments in the modeling world.

[Dove Davidoff]

How dare you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Goddamn. Well, you were oiled and sweet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You Shut the up.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were beautiful down like that.

[Christine Evans]

Let's add this. I'm a best selling author. Let's add that to the book.

[Dove Davidoff]

What did you do?

[Christine Evans]

I sold the book. Hit 33 on Amazon.

[Dove Davidoff]

What was it?

[Christine Evans]

It was a book on how to lose weight.

[Dove Davidoff]

Really?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Christine Evans]

Hit number 33 on Amazon.

[Bobby Kelly]

Had no paid.

[Dove Davidoff]

Did you have to break dance?

[Christine Evans]

That's the key is break dance. Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

You should do a workout video. Break dancing with the glide wizard himself.

[Bobby Kelly]

Clyde Wizard Bronzo. At your service.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ralph. What you should do. Yes. You should sell like an SDR show sponsored like workout video.

[Christine Evans]

All my old break. There's my book buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like Darren's dance grooves. But it'll be like Ralph's break dance moves. Bad knees.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ralph's got another guy.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What happened to your modeling career in your own.

[Christine Evans]

A stock photo. I don't want to spend any money as a stock picture. And it was 100% guaranteed. God. I would give you your money back if it didn't work.

[Dove Davidoff]

How much money did you give back?

[Christine Evans]

None.

[Dove Davidoff]

Nothing? Yeah, because it's fat people.

[Christine Evans]

There's only four words in the book. Chapter one says eat less. Chapter two says work out more. And 198 blank pages.

[Bobby Kelly]

The book was a pop joke. The whole book.

[Dove Davidoff]

Why don't you put the last page. You doing glide?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. In the middle of the book. It should be all this. I think you should still keep like a guide. Yeah. 198 flip book in the middle of it. Like they have in somebody. Just like those laminated pages that have just you. The glide which is the history of Ralph.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ralph with a mitten in Coney Island. Do this for two hours a day. You'll lose a few pounds.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah. Him with a Mac class at a payphone and Times Square hacking and a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Long mane of hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

$12. It's a bargain at any price.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, so sweet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. I saw you posted the Kanye west joke and everybody stole it.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Made its way to stages now.

[Christine Evans]

Yeah. What are you going to do?

[Dove Davidoff]

What is that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kanye west charged $20 for his swastika shirt. As a Jew. I'm offended. But it's a bar. What a bargain. Right?

[Dove Davidoff]

That's just your joke.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby. What you don't want to.

[Christine Evans]

It was one of the first. It was one of the first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. Ralph. Also tell them that one you worked on about the chicken with the road.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're doing great.

[Christine Evans]

You know I was gonna back when Jay did the show. I was before COVID He challenged me to open for him on on the. On the road. Right. But covet hit. I started trying to actually write jokes.

[Dove Davidoff]

Do you think you're saying Jay started.

[Christine Evans]

Covet so you didn't have to go on the road with him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I love bat because, look, call me an asshole. I love bat soup. Okay. When in Rome.

[Dove Davidoff]

You love a nice pangolin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, a good pangolin. There's nothing like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'll tell you what, though. If it's cooked right, falls off the bone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right off the bo.

[Dove Davidoff]

Outer shell. Just comes right off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you got to put it in a smoker. They're getting it wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a little gamey. If you do a stove top, it's gamey.

[Dove Davidoff]

So you had a joke, did you? What was a joke?

[Christine Evans]

No, he was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was joking.

[Christine Evans]

That wasn't.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh, sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Far Abraham. So this is MTV's Teen Mom. She's 16 and pregnant. Then stayed kind of in that MTV world for a while, then did hardcore pornography.

[Christine Evans]

I'm listening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then. Then some hardcore pornography. Then got out of hardcore pornography. Does some. Only fan stuff. Still. Still is responsible for the, hands down, greatest turd video ever.

[Christine Evans]

Oh, I think you made me watch that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course I didn't made you?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, you made the popcorn. I don't see Bobby being a. Like a turd video watcher.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm not. I didn't want nobody.

[Christine Evans]

I imagine you don't watch this TV.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Either, am I right, Ralph? Nobody is into turd.

[Christine Evans]

You're into this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not into turdv. This is. This is stand up comedy.

[Christine Evans]

No, but the one. This one that you made everyone watch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't make anybody do anything.

[Christine Evans]

You also made every kind of made everyone watch it. And you enjoy it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't watch it then.

[Christine Evans]

Just admit it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Put a comedy.

[Dove Davidoff]

I can't do that. You can't do that. You can't. Don't take your. Don't. Jay, Jay, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen, Jay, Nobody wants to watch it. I didn't even say bring it up.

[Christine Evans]

It's okay that you love turd videos.

[Dove Davidoff]

Watch it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna look away like you always.

[Dove Davidoff]

I won't look away. I will not. I'm gonna watch it. Play it. Christine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ralph. Stare right into the eyes. Stare right now.

[Christine Evans]

I'll watch it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She doesn't really do this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pause it. Pause it. Christine Dove, as you being new to this, everybody in the room already knows the explanation here. The most impressive thing. This isn't a sexual video by any stretch.

[Christine Evans]

Except for Jada's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the same feeling you get. Do you see when you get the ads where it's. Someone shaves like the top of a bar of soap, but it's got a hundred cuts in it.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like an ivory.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

So sweet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like a beautiful thing. This is a satisfying video because she pops one cork of turd.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then two foot of uninterrupted shitlog.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then a little exclamation point. And then. God bless her.

[Christine Evans]

The ad for that fucking masturbating thing is pretty wild.

[Dove Davidoff]

If you play it in slow motion, the shit says, help me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine Evans]

It'd be cool if it said glide with.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. That's a Prof. That's serious mental illness.

[Dove Davidoff]

Actually, can I say something? That would be a great adore if you had her do this and then the shit came out and it had your tour post.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not serious. It's a little fucked up actually, from what you said. This is. You can. You can't really get people in trouble for. This is an only fan. Like a guy paid her money to do this and then just released it.

[Christine Evans]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And all they can do. So the only. The only recourse for that is she's had. She's had this removed 200 and some thousand times.

[Dove Davidoff]

She sues. She has her people go after people for.

[Christine Evans]

But if she releases it to someone else. And that person. I paid for the video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Video.

[Christine Evans]

She gives it to me and I release it. That's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, she made this for something. She made this for one person, copyrights it.

[Dove Davidoff]

It's hers. For that guy. He released.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. He can't release it. Yeah, right.

[Dove Davidoff]

No, he's not supposed to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're not supposed to. But the only recourse is they just try to take it down. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And also, what are you gonna do? Suit a guy for his Toyota? I mean. I mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And no, you'd be robbing the world of this.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm gonna say Toyota's a nice car.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Toyota's a great car.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm just trying to think of not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Getting it a lot of money at.

[Dove Davidoff]

I love a Toyota.

[Bobby Kelly]

Toyota's excellent.

[Dove Davidoff]

All right, Go ahead. Hurry up. I'm sorry. Let's watch this together.

[Christine Evans]

Let's watch this license.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hurry up.

[Dove Davidoff]

I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't hurry.

[Christine Evans]

She doesn't have a good ass, I'll give her that.

[Dove Davidoff]

I mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's hard. So hard to watch this.

[Christine Evans]

I'm not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, for God's sake. Jay is all, man. I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then two I'm not watching it.

[Christine Evans]

I'm not.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh my God.

[Christine Evans]

I'm not watching it. There's no reason to watch.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never seen anything anything like that my whole life. I've never seen anything like that.

[Christine Evans]

I think Bobby just threw up.

[Bobby Kelly]

What a psychopath that chick is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, it's not Smell o Vision, bro. Relax. Whoa. Jacob, did you watch it in full? No.

[Dove Davidoff]

It's disgusting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, don't move with the toothpicks in your eyes.

[Christine Evans]

Do you also notice Jay is the only one who doesn't avert his eyes to this. Everyone else does.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a video of everyone Constitution. Everyone's got to grow up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute. Everybody.

[Dove Davidoff]

Wait a minute. The guy with the mitten watch videos for fun. We have to grow up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Four laughs.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the evolution of only fans. It's like Glide Wizard.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, it's disgusting. That was gross.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, horrendous.

[Dove Davidoff]

Here's what's gross.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who thinks it's not gross?

[Dove Davidoff]

Because you set it up wrong. I thought it was going to be one. I know there's the first.

[Christine Evans]

Has the first time see seeing it.

[Dove Davidoff]

That's the first time seeing it.

[Christine Evans]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Dove Davidoff]

I didn't watch it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You lied to me.

[Dove Davidoff]

I did. Wait, wait. I had to. Dude, I can't watch. Come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just wanted him to drop it. He was like, you gotta watch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't watch sat right next to you.

[Dove Davidoff]

I know. And I was. And I did it for you. You wanted to talk to her. You wanted to talk about it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She hasn't wiped. She still hasn't wiped me clean. She has wiped. But she came in. She's starting stand up comedy career now.

[Dove Davidoff]

Ah, thank God.

[Christine Evans]

And is it on that? That's part of the bit.

[Dove Davidoff]

I love the stand up comedy is above this. It's like right above taking a. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm at the bottom.

[Bobby Kelly]

It goes breaks break dancing. Stand up comedy and taking a number two on video.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dropping a on bid actually.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then the Mona Lisa.

[Dove Davidoff]

Well, she came in Wednesday to promote it has never warmed up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just her first time ever doing a one hour headline at a strip club. At a strip club.

[Dove Davidoff]

She's ready.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's already putting clips.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's releasing.

[Christine Evans]

Is she releasing the one hour?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like there's a miscommunication.

[Dove Davidoff]

35 minutes. 35 minutes. All right, 35 minutes. She's. She filmed it. They're editing it. She's going to release it on her own.

[Christine Evans]

And it's her one and only time doing comedy on stage.

[Dove Davidoff]

No, she's going to start doing arenas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, it was her first.

[Christine Evans]

It was. That's what I mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine Evans]

This was her first and only time on stage and she's releasing that.

[Dove Davidoff]

But she's going to be doing arenas, Ralph.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, but she's also, you know, she's got. She's got celebrity from something else, Ralph.

[Dove Davidoff]

Arenas, Arenas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bronzo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bronzo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm talking to you, Bronzo.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right, Wizard.

[Christine Evans]

That whole year, all my friends wouldn't stop calling me Bronzo.

[Dove Davidoff]

So annoying. Has anybody not stopped calling you Glide?

[Bobby Kelly]

Was. If they're your real friends, they'd still be calling you Bronzo.

[Dove Davidoff]

I mean, Bronzo, Glide, Wizard. It'd be the only thing I want.

[Bobby Kelly]

To call you now. On.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Flying out arenas and 50,000 people are there. I know one person could probably be my rapist.

[Bobby Kelly]

One other person could probably be someone who's attacked me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I just feel like I am.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just okay with it.

[Dove Davidoff]

And I do just get past all these crazy times.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do really good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like when I start flying at arenas.

[Bobby Kelly]

And 50,000 people are legitimately delusional.

[Christine Evans]

I do like that she delineates between a rapist and an attacker.

[Dove Davidoff]

Can I do something? Why don't you slow down?

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, my bad.

[Dove Davidoff]

Look at the art.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[Dove Davidoff]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the iteration.

[Christine Evans]

How many views does that reel have?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She took a dump on camera. You think? She's not prepared for an arena.

[Christine Evans]

How many reviews does that reel have? I'm curious.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's how Dice first prepared.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta train. You gotta take dumps in front of people. Oh, you gotta do the ton of stuff.

[Dove Davidoff]

My dump's over here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now. It wasn't here and now it's over here.

[Dove Davidoff]

Lick up my dump.

[Christine Evans]

114K. Okay.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, I mean, look, it's a joke.

[Bobby Kelly]

Called my rapist 140. No punchline in sight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine Evans]

What was supposed to be the. The. The punchline of that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What supposed to be.

[Dove Davidoff]

Sorry. What's he doing? Is he doing something weird right now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is it? What are you playing silly over here?

[Dove Davidoff]

What? What is wrong with you?

[Christine Evans]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Dove Davidoff]

I don't understand what's happening.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tremendous bit. Why did Jeffrey Dahmer do that in the barrel, by the way?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Give credit. TMZ is looking to take a on somebody. No pun intended. But this art says Farah Abraham nails stand up comedy debut, throuples, politics and more.

[Dove Davidoff]

We haven't seen. We haven't seen the full set. You can't judge somebody from little pieces.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of Am I judging it at all?

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Jay. I'm talking to Ralph G Wizard.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not all about punchlines, it's just about social commentary.

[Dove Davidoff]

Here's the thing, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You take them on a journey, it's all that matters.

[Dove Davidoff]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like the show Louie, but different. It wasn't all about the punch lines.

[Dove Davidoff]

Do you remember? We were so. We were so coming up. We were so on each other.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

About being better or not being a hat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Brutal. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's why we should be.

[Dove Davidoff]

We wouldn't even say stuff to each other.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Dove Davidoff]

I remember one time you were. You were in the Laugh Factory in la. You didn't know I was in town.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I got so embarrassed.

[Dove Davidoff]

You were on stage, sitting in the corner, doing some weird.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's what I did.

[Dove Davidoff]

And I was sitting in the. I was. I just came in and I was watching you and you went. You looked up and you saw me. You went, ah, Bobby, what are you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I felt dirty.

[Dove Davidoff]

I was like, keep going, Dove.

[Bobby Kelly]

I felt dirty.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys did things to young comics that were really. If you didn't. If we didn't have the tenacity to stay around to keep showing up every night.

[Dove Davidoff]

Tenacity.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

Fuck are you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would have broken a pocket watch. It would have broken.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was rough.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would have broken people down because you got. It wasn't just like, you guys would say, like, ah, you're, you know, the. The common. Like you're a hacker, you're whatever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was like repeating your jokes like. Like they take your closer and like, oh, what are you gonna close on the old man? You're like, no, man, I don't even do that one anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the way it still should be. Don't you miss that, Bobby going in?

[Dove Davidoff]

I think nobody's tearing into one another.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The problem with Bobby watches young black comics do it.

[Dove Davidoff]

I think there's. I mean, comedy. I was on the train the other day going out to Brian, Brooklyn, and there was some girl, some chubby girl and this gay guy. Not even a hot gay guy. Yeah. Just in regular, like Ralph's clothes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He was no bronze, which made me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could you judge the girl more? Judge the guy less? Yeah, this girl with him. The guy was.

[Dove Davidoff]

He was talking gay hair a mess.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

I mean, boot pants. It really made me sick.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's hard.

[Dove Davidoff]

They were like, I'm going to Brooklyn to do my set. And they were talking about stand up comedy. Comedy. And I was like. I was like, this Is just a job now. Like, this isn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

When we did it.

[Dove Davidoff]

When we did it, it was like, yeah, you gotta have a backup.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you have an obstacle course now?

[Dove Davidoff]

It's like, oh, that's a good. That's a good option. Like, it's an actual.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody's got access to social media.

[Dove Davidoff]

You can do stand up now, and it's not a thing. But when we did, it was a very.

[Bobby Kelly]

Seller with a headshot would have slapped it out of your hand.

[Dove Davidoff]

Go to the seller and look at the front board of all those comments. Yeah, those are pretty much most of the comics working in New York.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Dove Davidoff]

At that time. Yeah, that was. There was probably, what, maybe 50 comics, maybe less.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe less.

[Dove Davidoff]

That was it.

[Christine Evans]

When did it stop where they shit on each other? Like, when did that change over?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In the last decade. Patrice died, and the back table just started, like, dispersing.

[Dove Davidoff]

Here's the thing. We were all middle guys, so we're all openers and middles. When we all became headliners, we had had to. We left on weekends, and they had to fill those spots. So we're not around.

[Christine Evans]

Right.

[Dove Davidoff]

That's what happens.

[Christine Evans]

But the younger generation just doesn't do it. They don't. They don't sh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They might in their own, like, inner thing, but there's no. There's no, like, seller.

[Dove Davidoff]

Crew J. I'm sorry, Jacob wants to jerk off two guys right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Show me, Jacob.

[Dove Davidoff]

Oh, yeah.

[Christine Evans]

Okay. All right. It's an odd motion. That's an odd motion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I hope you brought the. That wipe for your glasses. The no streak stuff. The SDR show of Ralph and Dove is live Wednesdays and Saturdays at 8pm gasdigital.com and available wherever you listen to podcasts. You're hanging out with us for the rest of the show. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. When you think about your future, you know what calls to you? Meaningful work, happiness, growth. And sharing these values with other others. But how will you find all of that? There are many paths forward, including one you may not have considered. The military provides countless opportunities to pursue your calling, where you can be part of something bigger than yourself while still being yourself and having the future you want. You have a calling. We have an answer. Learn [e-mail].

[Dove Davidoff]

You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns.

[Christine Evans]

McDonald's breakfast comes first.