Hammersmithing with Harland Williams

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: "Hammersmithing with Harland Williams"

Date: July 1, 2026

Guest: Harland Williams
Main Theme: Comedy, celebrity encounters, swingers, nostalgia, and fly fishing

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire is a raucous, freewheeling conversation featuring comedians Big Jay Oakerson, Robert Kelly, and guest Harland Williams. The trio riff on the awkwardness and weirdness of the comedy business, reminisce about celebrity run-ins (good and bad), dig into the world of swingers, share some unexpectedly heartfelt moments on nature and fly fishing, and weave in a healthy dose of irreverent observational humor. Regular in-jokes, playful jabs, and overshares abound, keeping the tone hilariously unfiltered throughout.

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Key Discussion Segments & Insights

Setting the Vibe & Celebrity Encounters

[01:07 – 06:55]

• The show kicks off with jokes about how physically close they’re sitting; Harland, Jay, and Bobby riff about no such thing as "too close" after watching a Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer sex scene.
• The hosts introduce Harland Williams, plugging his new film Wingman (Apple TV) and his podcast, The Harlan Highway.
• Conversation turns to awkward comedic encounters and the perils of "out-crazying" bits at stand-up shows.
• The crew swap stories about meeting (or almost meeting) big celebrities like Kevin Hart, Dustin Hoffman, De Niro, Jim Carrey, and Jessica Alba.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Do you remember when the guy tried to do that to be shocking to squirt Tom Cruise? ... It had the most, it was such an earnest response ... he was just like, 'Oh, what are you doing?'”
    — Big Jay Oakerson [03:51]

Awkward Celebrity Interactions & Showbiz Realities

[06:56 – 13:19]

• Robert Kelly shares his awkward first three days with Dustin Hoffman on the Wag the Dog set, which resolved into them bonding over Dumb and Dumber roles.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “He hugged me and he wouldn't leave me alone after that.”
      — Robert Kelly, on Dustin Hoffman [09:25]
• The hosts discuss having celebrity contacts, the “circle of trust”, and how fame creates distance—even when comedians start out together.
• Harland and Bobby joke about losing touch with famous friends like Kevin Hart and Chris Evans, and the comedic ritual of testing celebrity friendships live on the show.

On Yachts, Cruises, and Swingers

[13:20 – 22:00]

• The group riff on the extravagance (and supposed boredom) of yacht vacations, pivoting to the odd world of swingers’ cruises.

• Swinger Culture Details:

  • Pineapple magnets on cruise cabin doors signify a “swinger” couple.
  • The men tend to be “muscular old men with Ric Flair skin” and dress too young.

• Harland shares about a real-life couple who wanted to swing with him and his wife, and how nonchalantly his wife declined.

• They joke further about swinging propositions—Patrice O’Neal once invited Bobby and his wife to swap.

  • Notable Quote:
    • “Every cruise, swingers are on it, and they have certain magnets they put on the door ... a pineapple on a door, that means they're swingers.”
      — Harlan Williams [14:45]

Hammersmithing, Relationship Lines, and Boundaries

[16:04 – 22:52]

• Big Jay and Robert debate watching vs. participating in swinger situations, coining “hammersmithing” as a euphemism for having sex.
• They challenge each other’s hypothetical comfort around the idea, ultimately drawing lines at anyone being with their real spouses.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • “How big's his wiener?”
      — Big Jay Oakerson (to Harland, picturing someone with his wife) [22:19]
    • “If they were kissing, that would bother me.”
      — Harlan Williams (on swinging limits) [22:17]
• Humor gets dark and self-effacing, especially as they mock the stereotypes of “Mrs. Roper Energy” in older swingers.

TV Nostalgia & Generational Comedy

[22:53 – 26:32]

• The trio reminisce about old sitcoms (Three’s Company, Carol Burnett), noting how modern generations lack communal TV references.

• Harland tries showing his son old movies like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang—only for the kid to lose interest quickly.

• They muse on how today’s youth are more engaged with 30-second social media “reels” than full movies.

  • Notable Quote:
    • “Nobody remembers Dorf, Dorf on Golf infomercials.”
      — Big Jay Oakerson [24:39]

Fly Fishing, Nature Retreats, and Fatherhood

[28:05 – 36:12]

• Harland discusses his time as a park ranger, his passion for hiking and fishing.
• Bobby describes his tiny house on Squam Lake, the serenity of fly fishing (“standing in the fish's element”), and the joys of nature with his son.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “What's enchanting about fly fishing is it's the only type of fishing where you're standing in the fish's element.”
      — Harlan Williams [29:21]
• Jay jokes about his own city-boy discomforts—“My father left when I was young and nobody stepped up”—and his disinterest in handling live fish.

Wilderness Fears and Serene Isolation

[35:00 – 38:10]

• Harland and Bobby extol the virtues (and minor fears) of night walks in the woods, eyes adjusting to moonlight, and the thrill of being vulnerable in nature.
• Jay expresses a both rational and comedic worry about wild animals, especially bears.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “But the danger of an animal, I think, is more what I would worry about … My fear is, like, rational fear. The noises.”
      — Big Jay Oakerson [37:14]

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Most Memorable Quotes

• "Celebrity friendships are just a challenge away from being exposed."
  — Paraphrased theme throughout [08:42 – 12:54]

• "She went 'What are you?' And I went, 'I don't know what you're fucking saying.' She went, 'What nationality are you?'"
  — Robert Kelly, on meeting Jessica Alba [06:43]

• “How big's his wiener?”
  — Big Jay Oakerson, mid-swinger debate [22:19]

• "Bring me your prettiest, most attractive fish. I'm still going to go like this when you make me touch it. My father left when I was young and nobody stepped up."
  — Big Jay Oakerson [30:49]

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Highlights and Notable Moments (By Timestamp)

• Awkward celebrity encounters:

  • [03:51] Jay recalls the Tom Cruise water squirt incident
  • [09:25] Bobby and Dustin Hoffman's unexpected bro-hug

• Swingers and relationships:

  • [14:45] Harland explains how swingers signal each other on cruises
  • [16:04 – 22:17] “Hammersmithing” and swapping hypotheticals

• Generational TV and comedy:

  • [24:39] Jay laments lost cultural references like “Dorf on Golf”

• Nature and fly fishing:

  • [29:21 – 30:09] Harland and Bobby’s lyrical tribute to fishing
  • [35:16] Bobby walks mountains at night as a test of courage

• The “Birth of a Nation” riff:

  • [26:43 – 34:05] Deep-dive/bit on awkward, outdated films and their legacy in pop culture

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In Closing

This episode captures the essence of The Bonfire: a riotous but revealing blend of unguarded tales from the comedy world, explorations of odd subcultures (swingers, old TV obsessives), and abrupt pivots into heartfelt or absurd directions (nature therapy, fatherhood, and fishing). Harland Williams’ presence amplifies the weirdness and warmth, while Jay and Bobby’s longtime rapport provides endless opportunities for roasting, one-upmanship, and genuine laughter.

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I thought it would be fun

[Ryan Reynolds]

if we made fifteen dollar bills, but it turns out that's very illegal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Commercial Narrator]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[Robert Kelly]

And now the bonfire with Big J

[Ad Voice]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your cans are here. And your mic.

[Harlan Williams]

We're back. Oh, there you go. We're back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the closest I've ever sat to a guest.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never sat this close to a guest.

[Harlan Williams]

I like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like it too.

[Harlan Williams]

I think it's great.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my. Too close.

[Harlan Williams]

No such thing. Stay right there.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think my mic's on.

[Harlan Williams]

No, it's on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is.

[Harlan Williams]

Turn. You can hear it. You can turn the volume up right there.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, there it is. Wait, am I too close?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, there's no such thing as too close in this room.

[Harlan Williams]

No, we like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We just watched Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer have a gay sex scene on tv. So there's no such thing as too close. Right now. We're all feeling the energy in here.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe I will slide over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, don't worry, don't worry. Christine's here ruining the vibe. It's the bonfire Faction talk series X at 100. Three Big Jokers and Robert Kelly were hanging out with the great Harlan Williams. Thank you for joining us on the show. He's got a new film, Wingman, available right now, streaming on Apple tv.

[Harlan Williams]

He's got a podcast too, the Harlan Highway. Wherever you listen to podcasts, check it out.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you, guys. Thank you for the plugs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was fun to watch you. The Harlan highway. Man. When someone we had. What's his name? Sam Hyde. You know, saying, I don't think he does stand up anymore. Right?

[Commercial Narrator]

No, he's not doing stand up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Am I saying the right name? Sam Hyde.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he came and started like trying to out crazy you was nuts. It was so uncomfortable. They started attacking your set.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd be so bummed out by that. I'm so bad at like playing. Going along with someone bit when it's like, I'm gonna. That's why I did a Matan's podcast.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know Matan.

[Robert Kelly]

Matan. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I felt bad because it was like, you know, he was making fun of me and I was just kind of smiling. I'm like, no, I like the character. It's funny. I think it like ruins his thing. He's kind of like, I'm going to give out your phone number. And I'm like, yeah. I mean, you don't know it, so that's fine. Whatever you give is fine. And I try to. I tried to do a thing. I was like, no, you can't give out my phone number. Get over, you crazy little scrappy K.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, that's the guy who spilled tonic of beer on Voss at Skagfest and Voss was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He poured it on him. Oh, yeah, Rich Voss. And then Rich Voss.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Threatened to fight his. Him and his character.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't think he knew he was a character. I think he thought it was just a dude throwing beer on him.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh. Oh, wow. He just like tossed it.

[Harlan Williams]

Tossed it on him.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Stir up. That's new comedy. That's new comedy. We're not. We're too old on this show.

[Harlan Williams]

That's how you get famous. You don't get famous. You gotta throw on people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you remember when the guy tried to do that to be shocking to squirt? Tom Cruise?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where the water got. And it had the most. It was such an earnest response. I don't even know if I like it. But he was just like, oh, what are you doing?

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, he's saying, you come up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He just. Just spray people in the face. It's crazy. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you do that?

[Harlan Williams]

The Scientologist, him, He just grabbed and went, why would you do that? And he was like, I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He started asking him Dianetics questions. Do you ever sometimes feel sad or not like yourself?

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Have you met him? Tom Cruise? Have you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, have you?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I've never met him. No, I was just asking. You never know.

[Harlan Williams]

We both got so excited that you Were going to have a Tom Cruise story.

[Robert Kelly]

Thanks for the polite question, guys. Did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now I'm trying to think of who's the biggest celebrity I've ever met. It's hard. It's hard to say.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because, like, someone I happen to know, Kev, from starting with him. Kevin Hart. So that's a huge.

[Harlan Williams]

I walked by De Niro's office when he was in it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you didn't meet him?

[Harlan Williams]

No, not at all. No, I just walked by, I looked in and he was there, and he looked at me, and then they shut the door in my face as I was walking by. So.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who do you think yours is? Jim Carrey's a huge one.

[Harlan Williams]

Jim Carrey's huge.

[Robert Kelly]

Me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, De Niro.

[Harlan Williams]

You met De Niro?

[Robert Kelly]

I did a movie with him.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, what movies you do with him?

[Robert Kelly]

Wag the Dog and Dustin Hoffman. Bruce Willis.

[Harlan Williams]

I did meet Dustin Hoffman.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

At one of those little LA parties.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And what do you do? Three years. Three years. Keys. Bring it around.

[Harlan Williams]

He was actually weirdly super nice. He was like, why is that weird? I don't know, because you. I. I didn't think he'd acknowledge me, but it was like, hey, welcome to the party. I was like, hi, how you doing, Dustin? He's like, nice to meet you. And then he left.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you call him Tootsie?

[Harlan Williams]

No, I did not. I would never do that.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you love that movie Tootsie? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know if I ever saw it. I skipped most of the. I don't believe Putting a white man. I don't watch movies where they put a white man in a dress.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a great movie. It's too long, dude.

[Harlan Williams]

Such a great movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I won't sit back and see a white man put in a dress, dude. To try to trivialize us.

[Harlan Williams]

Who is his co star? I forget the co star.

[Robert Kelly]

It was Terry.

[Harlan Williams]

No, no, the guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Jessica. Bill Murray.

[Harlan Williams]

Bill Murray. There you go. Yeah, Bill Murray.

[Robert Kelly]

Jessica. Not Alba, but Jessica from King Kong. Jessica Lang.

[Harlan Williams]

Jessica.

[Robert Kelly]

Jessica Lang.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The opposite of Jessica Alba.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Jessica Lang from American Horror Story.

[Harlan Williams]

I met Jessica Alba. Not a fan.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Harlan Williams]

Not nice.

[Robert Kelly]

What happened, guy?

[Harlan Williams]

She said. She looked at me. I walked over, like, you know, kind of nervous. Because you're meeting Jessica Alba.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think she has her own brand of wipes. I mean that. I think Jessica has her own brand of just wipes.

[Harlan Williams]

And I. I said, hey, how are you? Nice to meet you. She goes, what are you. And I went, it's nice to meet you. She went, what are you And I was like, nice to meet you.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Harlan Williams]

She went, what are you. And I went, I don't know what you're fucking saying. She went, what nationality are you? I go, I'm Italian. Irish. It's nice to meet you. And she went, yeah. I was like, all right, whatever the fuck that was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was the circumstances? Dane Cook's house?

[Harlan Williams]

No, I was on that movie with Dane. It was on the set, but it was just a weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Had Dane already broken her heart? Or if Dane was like, hey, that's my boy, Bobby. Doesn't matter.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't know. I should have just said. I should have just said Italian, Irish, and just kept it moving.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should have shoved her.

[Harlan Williams]

She was sitting down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Make a mark.

[Robert Kelly]

But why did she want to scrutinize you like that? Like, why does she need to know your ethnicity?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, it's weird. I could sue her now. You should these days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God, if it was a different climate back then, it was a different hate crime, almost. Jessica Alba hates something. We don't even know what she hated. She just wanted to check if you were it.

[Harlan Williams]

Father. Nicest guy in the world. Talked to him for, like, three days straight. John Alba, sells real estate in la. Gave me his car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Derek Alba, whatever his name is. He's fucking Eric Alba.

[Harlan Williams]

Nicest guy in the world.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Did she ask other people their ethnicity?

[Harlan Williams]

That was the weird part. No. Nobody. Nope. Weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you had a bad encounter, like, with any of these, like, famous people? Because it is weird coming in. It's like, you've done a lot of films, but you're a comedian. Like, you're such a comedian at heart. So by nature, I assume you feel awkward in meeting people.

[Robert Kelly]

Bad encounter, like, where you feel like, you know, sort of with Dustin Hoffman. Actually, it started bad but ended good. I was on the set of Wag the Dog and my scenes were with him. And we were there, I think, is there three days. And for the whole three days, he didn't say a word to me, even though we were this close. We were doing scenes together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When he would stop, he would just turn away.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He just didn't even almost look through me. But I didn't care because he was him and I was me. And I get it.

[Harlan Williams]

Jay does that to me on the show.

[Robert Kelly]

He does?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. He doesn't even acknowledge me during breaks. After the show, he just walks away from me.

[Robert Kelly]

But then on the final day, I was doing my final, like, hour, and I was on my mark, practicing my lines, and I looked over and I saw Dustin with This young kid, like a 15 year old kid. And all of a sudden they're pointing at me and I'm looking around and what the hell's going on? You know? And I thought I was in trouble. Like, he's pointing at me. I'm like, what the hell? And they both come running over and Dustin goes, were you the cop? And dumb and dumber. And I said, yeah. And he hugged me and he wouldn't leave me alone after that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really?

[Robert Kelly]

He was like all over me for the rest of the day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's good.

[Robert Kelly]

It was weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a good interaction, though, almost like where, like it's your whiff. You've had a couple. Bobby, for sure.

[Harlan Williams]

I've had many.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot of them have happened on this show. Because Bobby, if he has a celebrity's phone number, I. I make him text them to challenge the friendship, that it's a real friendship. And then they don't answer and then they start going green. The texts go green after that.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. I was friends with Chris Evans, Captain America. That's gone. Yeah. Kevin Hart. Good friends. Came up in the biz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

He won't take your.

[Harlan Williams]

Change his number.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Change his number. I have a message out to him to see if I can give Bobby his new number.

[Harlan Williams]

What? You asked him if I could get the number?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You can't just give it away. It's where you're out of the circle.

[Harlan Williams]

He didn't even want to talk to you. I got you in the circle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is true. Bring me back into the circle.

[Harlan Williams]

All right, well, enjoy the circle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Wait, you knew him before you did?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no.

[Harlan Williams]

Me, they knew each other, but I was more of. I was. Me and Kev came up together at the Cellar and we were friends. We hung out every night. Jay drove him around a lot. I was more of a. I was more of his contemporary at the time. And then he skyrocketed past everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. No, here's what's even worse. He was my contemporary and then skyrocketed past you guys without even having to do what you guys did.

[Harlan Williams]

And then I still had his number where I could text him every once in a while. Whatever. Nothing. I never bothered him or anything. Cause he was over there and I'm over here. And then I found out there was a little thing with him and Jay and I fixed it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There was no thing.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, he wasn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I felt like he wasn't responding to my texts for the last five years at one point.

[Harlan Williams]

That's a thing?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

What you do, exactly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he's just making films in Budapest and living life with Dwayne Wades and stuff.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, the thing is, is that Jay had a special that needed plugging and texted him and kind of cursed him out. I was like, hey, you little. You're one of your good friends.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what the thing is. And you're right, is that he came out. What it was is he started hyping up people's specials that were out, like, around. I think he was even like, just watch that Shane Gillis special, man. It's. It's great. And Bob. And I'm like, shane doesn't need your help. I'm like, can you plug my thing anyway? And I kind of just made a thing about that on the radio show. So Bobby got and reached out to him. I read off, which I. I think I pointed out at the roast, even that I was like, man, I had, like, a few years of texts, of just unanswered texts from him, right? But they're green. So I was going, well, I don't have his number. He's got a new number. And then Bobby went through a whole rigmarole to get to this one, that one. To get Kevin's number. And then when they gave me Kevin's

[Harlan Williams]

number, well, I. I cursed him out on the text, like, hey, Face, you little.

[Robert Kelly]

You said that to Kev?

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I'm friends with Kev, and we talk, you know, we kind of busted.

[Robert Kelly]

You said face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know for sure.

[Harlan Williams]

I think I said something like that. And then. But in a. Your friend needs your help. Please, you should blah, blah. You're texting this guy. This. Help him out a little bit. He needs your help. Chain doesn't need help. And then he texted me back, I'm in a fucking movie chair right now, bitch. You know, I didn't know about. If I knew about it, I would have done it. I didn't know about it. Now I know about it, so I'll do it. Kind of cursed me out back and then blocked me and then changed his number. And now him and. Him and Jay talk all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did. He did reach out after that and promoted the special, which was very nice of him to do that. He did promote the special.

[Harlan Williams]

He promote the special.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But what also hurt, though, in the story, which is the funny of it, is when Bobby gave me the number. It is the number I had. He just wasn't answering.

[Robert Kelly]

But wait, are you gonna give him the new number?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm waiting to hear back from Kev. To see if it's okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Why wouldn't he let you if you're old friends?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. Life changes.

[Harlan Williams]

I burnt my bridge to repair Jay's bridge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

And now Jay's on the bridge and won't allow me on the bridge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I could tell you what Ludacris is like.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you want to know a vacation, like, with the Ludacris is like? Because I could tell you that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pretty fantastic.

[Harlan Williams]

Go ahead, tell us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like a lot of fun. They're on yachts. They're looking. I'm not there, but I know what they're doing. They're on yachts. They're having lobster. They're dancing in short, short sets.

[Harlan Williams]

Dude, going on a yacht on a vacation would. Would be the most boring thing ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. With our chicks,

[Robert Kelly]

you'd be tr. You're sort of trapped, aren't you? On a yacht.

[Harlan Williams]

You're trapped on a yacht. I'd rather go, like, I'd rather go into the mountains, get a lake house, or go to the beach and get a beach house and be able to go places. I don't want to be on a yacht.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you done a cruise ship before, ever?

[Robert Kelly]

Have I been on one? Yep. Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, it's. I can't. The only way I would understand a cruise ship being fun is if you're a swinger on a swingers cruise. That would be the only thing I could possibly see making the horrible food and the being trapped worth any of it.

[Robert Kelly]

Do they have swingers cruises?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There must be.

[Robert Kelly]

What are they called? Do you know?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Empty the pool.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? Empty the pool cruise.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

2,000 tons of semen.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Blitz Cruise.

[Commercial Narrator]

The Swingers Original Lifestyle cruise.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hate the word lifestyle.

[Harlan Williams]

Every cruise, swingers are on it and they have certain magnets they put on the door.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

To let other swinger couples know. So if you go on a cruise and you see a. A pineapple on a door, that means they're swingers. And if you're a swinger, you could knock on the door.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't believe you weren't approaching Long Island. Did a fan ever ask you to have sex with their wife?

[Robert Kelly]

Dustin Hoffman.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice. Man. That was a long interaction for that one.

[Harlan Williams]

You guys really did make up at the end of the movie.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He wouldn't leave me alone. He'd say constantly. Hey, please have sex with my wife.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. That night I did it Wag the Doggy style. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In one of the city. My Videographer in one city I was in. Took the swingers from the night. Like, he went back with them.

[Harlan Williams]

Took the swingers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What he went back to. He was like, you know, I went back to the hotel and in the morning, or we both went back to the hotel in the morning, he was like, yeah, I went back out last night. The couple called me up. They were swingers, and the guys he wanted to join, and then he would just watch. And it was like, oh, and you did it. I could never imagine. I could always imagine watching far more than being watched 110%. You'd rather be watched than watch.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't want to do any of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But if you had to. If you had to, you were forced.

[Robert Kelly]

I wouldn't want to watch another guy. Like, Hammersmith.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he's hammersmithing a girl.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but I don't watch another guy's meat sliding around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's going to be hidden inside of her vagina now.

[Robert Kelly]

It comes out if he's doing it right, goes back in.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. Don't forget the balls whapping around.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I don't want to watch a dude. Dude, would you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you think you do? Do you think? Yeah, I guess I do. How do you say it? Like that. I think maybe I do.

[Harlan Williams]

Harlan, you want to come on this side?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Does this roll all the way around?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I. I don't. I think I'm more insecure of being seen than I would be of watching the situation. That's what it is. Like, I'm like, I don't want people to watch me. It'll never be good if you're watching me. So I could watch. I'd prefer to watch something else for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Yikes. I was gonna ask you out for pizza later.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well, I could watch you when someone has pizza. I'm not into having pizza. You know, this proverbial pizza we're talking about

[Robert Kelly]

Psycho.

[Harlan Williams]

We had. There was a couple from fans of this show who hit me up, and they wanted to have. They wanted to swing with me. And my wife and I. Very pretty, though. She was very gorgeous. And I, I. I told Don. I was like, hey, dawn, see this girl? They want to swing with us. They want to, you know, couple swap. And she went, yeah. No. I was like, all right, there's a

[Big Jay Oakerson]

pill version of Ozempic.

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

Hello, I'm Ozempic and I'm.

[Ad Voice]

Other GLP ones kind of like him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, did I hear there's a pill version of Ozempic?

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

version of Ozempic you love.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Commercial Narrator]

You're more than just one thing. You're the boss. Hey Google, what time is My meeting with Tim today. The athlete that class wrecks me. The ringleader. And we're good. And always their mom. Everyone in the all new Mazda CX5 more to move every side of you. Learn [e-mail] Google is a trademark of Google LLC. Sequences shortened and simulated.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But also, the swinger guy's presentation of his wife is always so funny. Isn't she sexy? Everybody really showing her off. Like, look at her go. And she just has to walk around with big, weird fake titties.

[Harlan Williams]

She was hot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

If dawn was in, I'd be in.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Is the guy always, like not good looking, though?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think the guy. They tend to be a muscular old man, which is kind of funny. Also, they have like Ric Flair skin. Yeah. You know what I mean? And they wear the clothes that are too young for them. It's a fun look I've gone to. Me and my ex went to a swingers. We went to a strip club and they're like, swingers. Thing is downstairs. And so it's like free for couples, but we got to go peek around and look. I mean, it's as hilarious as you think it would be. Didn't see anybody having sex necessarily. That thing, it's just like the mingling of it is just all the same guy. Like a guy who really cares about his expensive short sleeve button down shirts.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I mean, like, it's just

[Harlan Williams]

like, I remember Patrice tried to get me and me and my wife to swing with him and Vaughn. I was just like, dude, I'm not swinging with you. But you know, Patrice o'. Neill.

[Robert Kelly]

Doesn't your wife get mad when you tell her this stuff?

[Harlan Williams]

No, she just says no and laughs because it's not gonna happen.

[Robert Kelly]

She doesn't get mad at you?

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

No.

[Harlan Williams]

She's friends with Patrice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's nice to get invited to the party.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I just mean this like, swinging part. Doesn't she get mad that you're straying?

[Harlan Williams]

No, I'm not straying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's not doing it.

[Harlan Williams]

I'm not doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

But you're telling her you want to.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, I didn't say I wanted to, but I do if she wanted to. You know what I mean? I just want to see where she's at. I know the answer.

[Robert Kelly]

But wouldn't you be mad if someone hammersmith your wife?

[Harlan Williams]

Well, if they were kissing, I would.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

If they were kissing, that would bother me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How big's his wiener?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Who?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This guy hammersmithing my wife?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, he.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's my wife now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, my hypothetic wife.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm just getting Hammersmith.

[Robert Kelly]

You couldn't watch your wife do it, could you? With another guy, not somebody I know.

[Harlan Williams]

I couldn't watch you do Dawn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? Because I'll be gentle. You don't want that. You want her to get thrashed so you can feel like you can come in and console her afterwards.

[Harlan Williams]

I just don't want her to smell like cigarettes in pot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well, then don't smell her cooch.

[Robert Kelly]

Wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is wild.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And also I think we really coming in. I think it's time for me and you to swing with our gals there, Bob. Yeah, I think that's what we've come to the. The bottom of. No, it's the guy who always presents it in the creepiest way. And when they have a woman like that Mr. That Mrs. Roper Energy woman, that's just as bad too. A sexed up older broad. It's weird. Mrs. Roper Energy. Stanley doesn't do it, so can you please do it?

[Harlan Williams]

Be great if you cracked a joke and just broke the fourth wall to the camera and just looked at the other guy banging your wife.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't Forget there was two Mr. Ropers.

[Harlan Williams]

Don Knox was the second one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, that was Mr. Furley.

[Harlan Williams]

Mr. Furley, but the same.

[Robert Kelly]

Right, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, they're both landlords.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. Who did you like better, Roper or Furley?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think when I was younger, probably Furley because he's more cartoonishly animated. I think as I got a little older watching the episodes, I like Norman Fell's Fourth wall break Laugh to the camera. I used to really love that.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, I did like Furley. This is. That's. I'm the same way, frilly. I loved him. Don Knotts was the best. So goofy and crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm happy I grew up when I did because I assume with all the options now, the things that I would have no references to, like, I love having reference to so many things.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That like when I. Again, for my age. I think what people even think my age is I'm like. I'd go to bed every night watching the Carol Burnett and Friends show on like, on like my. A little black and white tv. There was plenty of color TV at this time. We just still had a small black and white TV for some reason.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And 48 seems too young to have those experiences. Nobody remembers Dorf door fun golf infomercials.

[Harlan Williams]

I do.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But those references are like gone to the world now it seems like you're right. And no one will have references. Like, it's got to be something on social media because there's no more communal tv.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, it's also in that way where

[Big Jay Oakerson]

everyone watched the thing.

[Harlan Williams]

So I told none of those kid movies that I grew up on Play. I mean, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was a Citizen Kane. I couldn't have waited to show Max Chitty Chitty Bang Bang just to watch that with him. 20 minutes in, they were like, this stinks.

[Robert Kelly]

I was like, yeah, how old is Max?

[Harlan Williams]

But he's. He's 13 now, but at the time he was like 9. But it didn't like it.

[Commercial Narrator]

It.

[Harlan Williams]

The things that they make for kids now are faster.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's more of a Birth of a Nation kid.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he likes. Probably likes the Marvel Universe. Right? Type of thing.

[Harlan Williams]

Doesn't even like that, huh? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What does he like? Dance movies. Step up to, you know what they watch.

[Harlan Williams]

They watch reels. They watch 30 second things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is. But when. When I think Louis said that about, like, his son too. He's like, he. Before, he'd rather like, watch a video about, like a new toy or some kind of a thing. He wants to watch a video of somebody else playing with it and talking about that blows my mind the way it is now. It's like, I want to watch other. That was the guy. What was the first guy who made like, the gazillion dollars on the Internet. It was people watching him play video game. Pewdiepie was that there was. It's like the idea is you just watch him play a video game. The thing that was a nightmare when you were younger, when it wasn't your turn and you had to watch somebody else and you would have to kill time. Like, when do I get to play again? Now the whole activity is watching somebody

[Harlan Williams]

else watching somebody else live life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's insane.

[Harlan Williams]

It's weird what they got kids into now.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

But you all got to do is take the phone away for a week and all. Like, I took Max's phone away a week ago, and we actually watched the movie on Sunday night.

[Robert Kelly]

Watch it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Birth of a Nation. Ku Klux Klan propaganda.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is a crazy. I mean, even get your hands on a copy these days is pretty crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that a real movie?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Birth of a Nation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was. They considered one of the first films ever made. And it was like. It's like Ku Klux Klan propaganda. Christine, Christine, bring up my copy of it.

[Harlan Williams]

I didn't watch that with my kids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't believe you did.

[Harlan Williams]

No, I Did it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not cool. I hope you told him it was wrong.

[Harlan Williams]

I did not watch that with him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on. No, it's all about the soundtrack. Birth of a Nation. I think it was a victim of not having a good enough score.

[Harlan Williams]

What, you think the sound design was a problem?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can change anything. I don't know if you remember when I showed you black people being blown down the street by hoses in the Watts riots is sad unless you put the song Wipeout behind it. Try it at home.

[Robert Kelly]

The surfer song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You put the song Wipeout behind it. Looks like people having a blast, right? They're having a blast, everyone. Arms are in the air. It's everything. Looks like we now even though was a terrible, terrible crime on humanity against humanity. We could all agree on that for sure. I found though, there's no music that'll judge up the Holocaust. Can't find it.

[Robert Kelly]

Have you tried Wipeout?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have not. In fairness. Actually, there was no water involved, so I didn't.

[Harlan Williams]

The Germans did try Wipeout.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Different Wipeout, Bobby. Different Wipeout. Completely different Wipeout. Wow, Christine, I can't believe you didn't bring up clips from Birth of an.

[Harlan Williams]

It was. I found out you were. You, like, a park ranger at one point.

[Robert Kelly]

A long time ago. Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Where was that? In Canada?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, this was on the. The northeastern shores of Lake Superior.

[Harlan Williams]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

How many years were a park ranger?

[Robert Kelly]

I did that for about five or six years.

[Harlan Williams]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

That's pretty crazy. Yeah, because I. I like hiking and all that stuff and being in nature, too. I. I take my kid up.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, good. All the time.

[Harlan Williams]

To the Catskills. I have a place up in New Hampshire in the woods.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, like a cottage.

[Harlan Williams]

I have a tiny house. I bought land up in New Hampshire and put a tiny house on it. And we spend the summers on a lake.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it on a lake?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, it's on Squam Lake. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby had to get gastric bypass to get into his house.

[Harlan Williams]

I did lose a lot of weight.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you fish there?

[Harlan Williams]

We fish every day.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you got?

[Harlan Williams]

We got. We got pickerel, we got smallmouth. But I do a lot of fly fishing.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's the best.

[Harlan Williams]

We get rainbow trout, brookies, and all that stuff. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And do you do the river system that flows into the lake or just fly on the lake?

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I do. When I fly fish, I do the river system that goes into the. And it's a. There's a. But there's even, like, small little rivers that I fish. And there's a couple big ones. The Pema Jawassip. There's a lot of big fly fishing up there.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, what's enchanting about fly fishing is it's the only type of fishing where you're standing in the fish's element.

[Harlan Williams]

You're in it.

[Robert Kelly]

So you're in there domain. You're standing in the water where they live and you can feel the energy of the river. It sucks around your legs. And so you become very connected to.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Not only the environment, but the fish you're going after.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And fly fishing is a very sort of gentleman's version of fishing where you use very small hooks with no barbs. And the. Even if a fish bites it, that has a very good chance of escaping. So it's, it's, it's a real. It's a real connectivity type of.

[Harlan Williams]

And it's fishing. It's all catch and release too.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

So you're. You're catching it and then just letting it back.

[Robert Kelly]

Beautiful.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, it's. I mean, Jay has no idea. I want to take him. I want him to come up in the woods with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We take the fish off the hook. If I catch something, I.

[Harlan Williams]

You won't touch the fish?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Harlan Williams]

I'll tell you what about trout. Beautiful silky fish. It's not slimy at all.

[Robert Kelly]

It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tell me all about it.

[Harlan Williams]

Is like a man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'll have to take it off the hook.

[Robert Kelly]

Trout don't even have large scales. They have really minute scales. So it's almost just like a skin.

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

You don't have to.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not like a traditional fish where you have to. You can see the scales.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. And they probably one of the prettiest fishes you'll catch. I mean, purple and red dots. It's green. It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bring me your prettiest, most attractive fish. I'm still going to go like this when you make me touch it. My father left when I was young and nobody stepped up.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I'm stepping up now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Too late.

[Harlan Williams]

I want. Come up with me for a weekend. We'll go fishing. We'll go hiking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna scream.

[Harlan Williams]

No, you're not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I might.

[Harlan Williams]

We'll go out in the woods. We'll stay for the night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna scream. When I went to the. The first year I ever went to.

[Harlan Williams]

I'm glad somebody finally said it.

[Robert Kelly]

Looks like SARS is back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's finally back.

[Robert Kelly]

How do we go from serenity of fly fishing to mucous membrane 4000?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I don't understand fly fishing. All I know is hack lung.

[Robert Kelly]

It's very tranquil. I think you'd like it. If you ever want a stress release or you want to really connect vibe with nature. It's. It's a very beautiful form of fishing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I think that. I think the hang of it and the activity of it is fine. I like that. Yeah, the. It's the. Once we have the fish on the hook and it's a thing like, it's. It's that kind of stuff. Just icky stuff. I grew up with just a very Jewish mom and grandmother and just in West Philadelphia and there was just no. Like nobody was fishing or he just didn't do any of that stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

I think you'd adjust to it really quick. Like, once you hooked into a nice fish and felt the energy and. And then took one off, you'd be over that. It's not like tightrope walking where you're terrified. Like, you do it once and I

[Big Jay Oakerson]

think you'd be in the grabbing by the mouth and. Yeah, it seems so.

[Robert Kelly]

Like it seems. But I think you'd like it.

[Harlan Williams]

I agree.

[Robert Kelly]

You'd love. Give it a try, my guy.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why are you guys trying to get me out in the woods?

[Harlan Williams]

I think because you'd love the woods, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See if you're dueling banjos tie up eventually.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, here we go. Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you guys trying to get me out there for?

[Robert Kelly]

Look out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it starts at fly fishing. I know your game, Bob. I know the game you play, you psycho. Is this Birth of a Nation part two? Electric boogaloo. I didn't know there was a part two.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn, everything gets a sequel these days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it wasn't a cliffhanger, really. Maybe it's a whole new story.

[Commercial Narrator]

It's a three hour silent film.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You get it through the actions.

[Harlan Williams]

You. You. You'd watch this and not go fly fishing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? I would watch this? I've never watched Birth of a Nation.

[Commercial Narrator]

The film celebrates the knights of the Ku Klux Klan and demeans African Americans

[Harlan Williams]

by having white actors in blackface.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, but Christine, the question is, do I have to watch part one to watch part two? That's the important thing, you know what I'm saying? Is this like John Wick where I could just jump in anywhere?

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't even know the movie existed.

[Robert Kelly]

So you're saying this is like a very early at the dawn of, like, cinema cameras. Someone filmed this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or I think they argue this might be the first. Was it 1915? It's like the first film that was, like, distributed.

[Robert Kelly]

What an odd thing to film. Like no one was having a birthday party.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's nothing else to do. Well, there was some sort of a party happening there first, and then I think, you know, I don't really know the story as much as I thought I did. That's the Civil War.

[Harlan Williams]

Bring up a silent film on radio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's good. It's our job. Jim McClure says it's our job to describe it.

[Harlan Williams]

All right. All right, you do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like the whites are winning. It's going bad. It's going bad. Oh, my God. I hope part two gets better. Damn Earth Nation. Part two. Black Guy's Revenge. Black Lou. You're gonna star in his revival. You're our guy. You're gonna vigilante this. You're gonna take the night back like Armie Hammer when you.

[Harlan Williams]

When you do your. Because you went back to the woods, right? You were. You're. You're like. You have a house in the woods now, right? You spend a lot of time in the nature. You still live in la. You still.

[Robert Kelly]

I live in la. I. A place in nature that I won't disclose where it is, but I have a place that's very remote and close to nature.

[Harlan Williams]

Is it in Canada or us?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's in the US But I fish a lot and I do all. It's very, very remote. Yeah, I don't talk about where it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you nervous? Does that, like, the silence of the night, like, being alone, far from people, make you nervous?

[Robert Kelly]

No. You like, completely? Oh, yeah. I used to walk around, and I lived in Banff, and I used to challenge myself. I used to go out and walk through the mountains in the dark. At night?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And just without a flashlight, I just would go.

[Harlan Williams]

Because your eyes adjust?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, people don't realize how well human eyes adjust to the darkness. Yeah, they adjust really well after about 20 minutes. And especially if it's a full moon,

[Harlan Williams]

you can see, like.

[Robert Kelly]

It's pretty. It's pretty incredible how. How much you can see. In fact, on a full moon, you'll even see a slight shadow.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, but the first 20 minutes are terrifying.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. Yeah, it takes. Takes a few minutes, but what first

[Big Jay Oakerson]

20 minutes of what? You haven't done nighttime? Are you trying to bond over nighttime? Mountain walks in the pitch dark?

[Harlan Williams]

I walk in the back. The back of my house is 200 acres of forest, so me and Max have walked out into the woods at night with no flashlights. I wanted to show them that your eyes do adjust.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Quite well.

[Harlan Williams]

It's terrifying. What are you looking at me like that for?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never come up before.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I'm not gonna bring up you

[Big Jay Oakerson]

and your son's nighttime mountain walks.

[Harlan Williams]

I'm not gonna bring up woods with you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You bring up all the other wood stuff.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I'm not going to bring up the intricate parts of the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Keep trying to get me out there to camp with you by ourselves.

[Harlan Williams]

I want you to. I wanted to. I went a couple. A couple weeks ago, I went primitive camping up in the Catskills with my son. We just go up and you hike up and you stay. It's not like. And I want to take him with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was his son and his producer and somebody else.

[Harlan Williams]

His wife. I took another comic and his wife up and we just went up and there's a waterfall with a swimming hole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Arish Fear is supposed to go. He didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

Swinging, or was it regular?

[Harlan Williams]

No, my son was there. My son, he did swing. They didn't want me. They wanted him. Yeah, but we went up. But I want him to go with me for a night. But the problem is there's no bathroom. There's no. You know, you gotta. If you gotta go, you gotta go in the woods.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he said, I can't bring my. My laptop will be useless. He told me.

[Harlan Williams]

Yes. You have no phone. There's no phone.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the beauty of walking in the dark without any flashlight or weaponry, it makes you very vulnerable, and it's actually a good feeling. It's. It's spiritual almost.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the danger of an animal, I think, is more what I would worry about. I don't think I have a real fear of, like, a. A psycho killer with a machete in the woods.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, fear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think my fear is, like, rational fear. The noises.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, that's that. It is startling.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, if you were in Montana or somewhere, there's brown. Brown bears, you could probably. It would be scary. But black bears just don't really fuck with you. Well, unless it's, like a mom with her cubs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you fight one in a karate uniform?

[Harlan Williams]

I'm just saying. But they're gonna run.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you ever see who that bear did to that lady in his karate uniform? What, you don't remember? The karate guy brought the bear on the talk show. It was one of the first viral videos. And then the bear just slaps the woman in the face.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, that's right. Well, he was out of his element.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. A dojo. What's his element.

[Harlan Williams]

You can't bring a bear into a studio and expect him to behave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How dare you? Yeah, that sounds like you were describing Harlow Williams. You don't bring a bear and expect him to behave. We gotta. I know. We gotta wrap up the fucking show.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It always goes so goddamn fast. Harlan Williams new movie, Wingman, streaming right now on Apple tv. Check it out. Make sure you check out the Harlem Highway.

[Robert Kelly]

It's about a crazy wingman who helps losers get laid.

[Harlan Williams]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

With Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, myself, and it's a lot of fun. It's on Amazon prime and Gumroad as well.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't want to be insulting, but are you the wingman?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Harlan Williams]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I know it's not. I know it's not Jamie Kennedy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Make sure you check out the Harlan highway wherever you listen to your podcast. It's absolutely hilarious.

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

As is he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Harlan. Thank you for hanging out.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you guys. Thank you, thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Punch up dot live. Robert Kelly for all his dates. BigJComedy.com for me. We'll catch you guys live tomorrow. Until then, crackle, crackle.

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

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[Robert Kelly]

Kinda like him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you shaking a maraca?

[Ozempic Ad Voice]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice disclaimer.

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a pill version of Ozempic.

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