Home Improvement with Modi

Summary

Detailed Summary of "Home Improvement with Modi"
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: January 24, 2025

In the episode titled "Home Improvement with Modi," hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Bobby Kelly embark on a humorous and insightful journey through the trials and tribulations of home renovation. The conversation is a blend of personal anecdotes, practical advice, and signature comedic banter, making it both entertaining and informative for listeners navigating their own home improvement projects.

---

1. Opening Banter and Setting the Scene [00:41 - 02:09]

The episode begins with Big Jay and Bobby exchanging playful remarks about their professional broadcasting status. Bobby remarks, “[01:10] I'm having a great second half,” signaling their collaborative spirit. They liken their dynamic to hanging out by a bonfire, setting a relaxed and candid tone for the discussion ahead.

---

2. Introducing the Home Improvement Project [02:10 - 04:50]

Bobby shares his excitement about moving into a new house and the extensive list of renovations needed. He mentions tasks like painting, repairing fixtures, and installing stone and wood facades:

• Bobby Kelly [03:58]: "If I write a number down on a piece of paper... painting the whole thing. Got it. Repairing every repair needs to be done."

Big Jay responds by comparing his past experiences with renovations, emphasizing the complexity of such projects:

• Big Jay Oakerson [04:19]: "I've done a complete kitchen, bathrooms, house electric, plumbing, all this stuff. Three times."

This exchange underscores the magnitude of home renovation and sets the stage for deeper discussions on managing such projects.

---

3. Navigating Contractor Negotiations [04:51 - 25:54]

A significant portion of the episode delves into the challenges of negotiating with contractors. Bobby outlines his renovation needs in detail, while Big Jay offers strategies to handle negotiations effectively.

Key Points:

• Multiple Bids: Big Jay advises getting multiple quotes to ensure competitive pricing.

  • Big Jay Oakerson [13:30]: "You gotta get another bid. And you gotta at least..."

• Assertiveness: Emphasizing the need to be firm yet flexible in negotiations.

  • Big Jay Oakerson [12:34]: "Does he know your profession? Yes... Never tell them what you do."

• Payment Strategies: Discussing the pitfalls of paying contractors upfront and the importance of staged payments.

  • Big Jay Oakerson [45:33]: "You do not pay the entire amount. Are you crazy?"

Bobby shares his unsettling experience with a contractor named Elon, who appears intimidating and unyielding in negotiations:

• Bobby Kelly [35:07]: "He looks very Israeli. His name's Elon. And here's why..."

The hosts explore the tension between wanting quality work and managing budget constraints, highlighting the emotional and financial stress that can accompany home renovations.

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4. Injecting Humor and Personal Anecdotes [25:55 - 43:21]

Throughout the discussion, Big Jay and Bobby intersperse their conversation with humor, often poking fun at stereotypes related to different ethnic contractors. For instance:

• Big Jay Oakerson [22:36]: "Spanish guys, they're going to do it cheaper... they're always going to do it cheaper."

Bobby recounts his frustrations in a comedic light, making light of the complexities and unexpected hurdles in home improvement:

• Bobby Kelly [35:33]: “He corrected me on how I treat my dog...”

This blend of humor not only entertains but also makes the daunting topic of home renovations more relatable and less intimidating for listeners.

---

5. Expert Advice with Guest "Modi" [43:22 - 58:44]

A pivotal moment in the episode is the introduction of "Modi," who joins the conversation to provide expert advice on negotiating with contractors. Bobby explains his predicament:

• Bobby Kelly [50:02]: “This guy gave me a bid that is pretty high, but I don’t feel like this guy's down for negotiations.”

Modi's Contributions:

• Verification: Emphasizing the importance of checking a contractor’s reliability and asking for references.

  • Modi [52:04]: "You need to see the whole broadcast picture... ask him about other jobs he’s handling."

• Negotiation Tactics: Advising on how to approach negotiations without revealing financial constraints upfront.

  • Modi [53:07]: "Ask him, like, are we your priority once you take this job? Do you have anything else happening?"

• Payment Methods: Discussing the implications of paying contractors in cash versus traditional payment methods.

  • Modi [54:32]: "Cash is king."

Bobby and Modi engage in a back-and-forth dialogue where Modi provides actionable strategies, reinforcing the earlier advice from Big Jay on managing contractor relationships and ensuring projects stay within budget.

---

6. Concluding Thoughts and Final Banter [58:45 - End]

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on the personal impacts of renovation stress on their relationships. Bobby mentions a TV show scenario where a relationship is tested by home renovations, humorously likening it to his own experiences:

• Bobby Kelly [25:27]: “It seems like a good price...”

The conversation winds down with continued playful banter, maintaining the episode’s light-hearted yet informative atmosphere. The hosts reiterate key takeaways about effective negotiation and maintaining composure during home improvement projects.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bobby Kelly [03:58]: "If I write a number down on a piece of paper... painting the whole thing. Got it. Repairing every repair needs to be done."

• Big Jay Oakerson [12:34]: "Does he know your profession? Yes... Never tell them what you do."

• Big Jay Oakerson [22:36]: "Spanish guys, they're going to do it cheaper... they're always going to do it cheaper."

• Bobby Kelly [35:07]: "He looks very Israeli. His name's Elon. And here's why..."

• Big Jay Oakerson [45:33]: "You do not pay the entire amount. Are you crazy?"

• Modi [52:04]: "You need to see the whole broadcast picture... ask him about other jobs he’s handling."

• Modi [54:32]: "Cash is king."

---

Conclusions and Insights

"Home Improvement with Modi" serves as a comedic yet practical guide for homeowners embarking on renovation projects. The episode emphasizes:

• Importance of Multiple Bids: Ensuring competitive pricing and avoiding overcharging by obtaining several quotes.

• Effective Negotiation Tactics: Being assertive without revealing budget constraints, and not paying contractors upfront.

• Verification of Contractor Reliability: Checking references and understanding the contractor’s workload to ensure priority.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Using humor to navigate the stress and challenges of home renovations.

The involvement of Modi adds depth to the conversation, providing listeners with expert advice that complements the hosts' personal experiences and humorous insights. This blend of professional guidance and relatable storytelling makes the episode both informative and entertaining, offering valuable takeaways for anyone facing the daunting task of home improvement.

Listeners are encouraged to apply these strategies in their own renovation projects, keeping the hosts' advice and humor in mind to navigate the complexities of home improvement with confidence and a smile.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly, Intergalactic planetary. What's up, everybody?

[Bobby Kelly]

Smooth radio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is happening? Not only do you have two professionals in here, I mean, I only have one professional. Now you have two.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two professionals.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Two professional broadcasters. There was one and a half, but.

[Bobby Kelly]

You'Re pulling it together. So strong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So strong.

[Bobby Kelly]

And by the way, in a sports analogy, this is good. It's contract season, so we got to show up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm having a great second half. You know, it took me a minute to come from the Japanese league.

[Bobby Kelly]

Different level of stuff going on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude, I was replacing a rod. You know what I mean? I had to show my shit. But here's the deal, buddy. This is why I'm teachable.

[Bobby Kelly]

More than teachable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm pliable. I'm teachable.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are not only student, but you are yourself. Teacher in many ways.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'm lovable.

[Bobby Kelly]

And damn lovable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a lot of lovable in this room, dude. Have you ever noticed that? No. No. Look, between us. Don't look right or left.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Straight ahead, my friend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This lovable doesn't exist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On the sides of the road.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Yeah. That's why we line it up. So we could just disappear in the level. And it's just we're surrounded by stars and just me and you. Like La La Land.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

La La Land. We look right and left, dude, we're gonna see trash on the side of the road. Resentment.

[Bobby Kelly]

We should do La La Land dance routines. It's a musical, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, you really. I can't. I still. Even last night, lying in bed, I just had a visual of you and your. Your goddamn legs up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you. Are you saying that and like you've missed it and you didn't realize how badly you wanted to see it again?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I don't want to see it ever again. It's one of those things I wish I could unsee. Because I don't want to see you lying in bed with my wife with your legs fully spread with a tank top on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't present dawn into this situation. Now you're making it. Now you're getting angry at me. All fictitious situations.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wasn't angry at you. Never, never do I get angry at you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're saying that if you walked in, you're concerned that you would find Dawn. Hang on. These pants aren't as stretchy. Okay. That I'd be like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And dawn would be this way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I walked in and dawn was blowing you with your legs straight, I would laugh hysterically. I'm like, what the are you doing, Bobby?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not what you think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'd be like, exactly what I think. Why would you do this? What are you guys doing? Come on. First of all, you'd be like, it is a dry blow job. Bob, you were right. She really is in menopause.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Goes. What's. Why is her mouth so dry?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

This way you can get to hear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm here as Chris. No, I don't want to get into this again. But anyways, it is. It is. I'm very excited about your home. I. I'm holding myself back because I really just want to be involved in it, and I feel like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why are you holding back?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I don't want to get in the way. Because I know when you move in, but there's so many things I want to tell you to get. You have to get.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That I want you to get for your house. But you have a turnkey, which is harder because you're not going.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, cash your question.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I write a number down on a piece of paper.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And show you. This is what the guy came with, but this is, without being too specific. Painting the whole thing. Got it. Repairing every repair needs to be done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Changing several fixtures.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Putting up stone facade on a couple places and wood facade on a couple places.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really? Correcting every problem in the house with the exception of electric and one or two plumbing things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I need a pen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have one because I write.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you. I never have a pen on me. I have an idea. Stop. Gone.

[Christine]

It's also changing some flooring.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, is it?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Changing some flooring.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What kind of flooring? Cement, epoxy?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's gonna be, well, painting, essentially. What floor? Ripping up carpet.

[Christine]

Putting down gym mats in the garage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. They had carpet in the garage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That's what they used as A gym. But carpet. It's just soaked in Jew sweat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yuck.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, they're not Jewish. I don't know why I keep putting that on them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought you said juice. I didn't know you said Jew.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jew, huh?

[Jacob]

Are you doing a garage gym?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Nice. Are you putting the mat. Are you putting the tiles down? The rubber tiles?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to Swole Academy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep. I. I'm putting a garage gym in too.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'm Gonna put a 24 hour camera on it so I can compete with Lewis for gay pictures on the Internet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Buddy. Can we. Can we one night just go in our gym work and just do a Instagram live double gym workout?

[Bobby Kelly]

Just both of us crank and we.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just go into the camera every once in a while and go, what's up?

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. I want to make sweat faces like this and then have something that's like, it's all about the hard work or some shit. Some shit like that.

[Christine]

I just want to send Bobby the full list of everything he's doing. Plus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Because I've done this. I've done this one, two. I've done this three times.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've done a complete kitchen, bathrooms, house electric, plumbing, all this stuff. Three times.

[Bobby Kelly]

When this is done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is a new house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you're not doing anything to the kitchen. The kitchen is staying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cabinets, but there's some paint and some repairs in the kitchen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fridge is staying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Keeping the fridge.

[Bobby Kelly]

Keeping the fridge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How many fridges do you have?

[Bobby Kelly]

Two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good.

[Bobby Kelly]

One is one in the garage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to. Yeah, you got to be a 2 fridge. When you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I told this guy, by the way, he goes, what's the garage going to be for? I go, probably pulling the car in once in a while and whatever. And then he made such a big deal about the difference of what he'd have to do if we put a car in there all the time. That I was like, probably never put a car in here. So just change my answer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't put a card.

[Jacob]

You got a whole protein shake fridge. Because you get so swole.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably. Yeah. Christine, that's correct. Correct. One shelf just for my protein, please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's the fridge. Put the fridge in the garage. That's where your protein goes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, in the protein fridge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's where all my protein goes. And my Gatorade zeros and my. My ginger ale.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you send Bobby the list?

[Christine]

No. You should want to send him the full list.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shirley Temples. Remember those?

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those are good, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, seven up Shirley Temples.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Seven Up. Shirley Temples.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, because we didn't buy enough Diet Cokes because Dawn's a moron about mini Diet Cokes. And you guys all love Diet Cokes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Why. Why the mini sodas?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because she's.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're on a flight moron.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I didn't say she's a moron. I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I did. Let's back it up. I. We got into a little mini fight over that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Over tiny sodas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. No pun intended.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, a tiny fight over a little sodas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go. I go. Norton drinks seven of these himself, right? I go, I know. Big J likes them. I'm pret. If Big J's have one, Christine's gonna have one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you buy Christine's? Actually in the throes of an addiction to Diet Coke. I'd say it's bad for someone who never drank it. I'd say first, many, many decade at least, of our relationship now very much super into Diet Coke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Diet Coke is the. One of the most addictive things ever. Colin Quinn is so addicted to Diet Coke. They have cans of Diet Coke at the Cellar for Colin Quinn, because he can't have it out of the tap. He has to have it out of the can. If you ever go to the cell and you want to Diet Coke, say, can I have a Colin Quinn Diet Coke?

[Bobby Kelly]

They're gonna say, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, they won't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I trash them pretty hard publicly.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, he goes, this place fucking sucks. Hey, give me a free Diet Coke, and I want a can.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The more you trash gnome, the more he likes you for some reason.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a weird thing. He loves you. He thinks you're a genius.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're monsters.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're not monsters.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not to you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're great to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you send Bobby the thing?

[Christine]

I sent him the list, and I also sent him the material breakdown, and I'm sending him the additional things we're asking for Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, let me say this as well. It's also time and place of when you got to know people. I think Liz is a doll. There's people who are terrified of Liz, like Esty. You know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But Liz is way meaner than Esti.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Never to my life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not to you or me. Like Patrice used to say, what's good for me is good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. And Esti has been a sweetheart to me forever. Me and Esti have had our problems over the years, right? But me and Liz have had our problems.

[Bobby Kelly]

But Liz, has she ever looked at you? Like this esti. Because that's how she looks at me. She has, like, world domination down her nose at me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she has. I've had situations. I had to call her and be like, what the. What's going on?

[Bobby Kelly]

When I first moved to New York, the rumor was that she banged Rondell Sheridan. That was my favorite. That made me laugh so hard. Do you remember Rondell Sheridan?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you wonder why she has a problem with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not Rondell Sheridan.

[Jacob]

I don't know who that is.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was a comic from the 80s. He did a TV show for a minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was on Nickelodeon a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. He was like, dad, because he was very clean comic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I actually opened for him at the Miami Improv back in the day, Coconut Grove. And I remember he was like, in between shows, he's like, let's take a walk. And I was like, okay. And I'm just walking with him down through the stores. And I remember he grossed me out because he bought sandals. And he wore. He was like. He was trying on sandals, and I was like, you. You're buying sandals? He's like, yeah. And he wore them on the next show. He had, like, open toe sandals. And I was just grossed out by his foot. I was like, this is. I don't like you anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you shouldn't. He also used to do a weird joke where he would talk about nice guy. He would say he looks like a gorilla. And then he would do the face. The McGilla gorilla. Seriously? That was like a bit of his. Which I was like. Even I was young. Seeing that, I was like, oh, boy. He's doing it in the most benign fashion. He doesn't mean anything racial by it. He's just talking about his face, particularly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I only laugh because you said it. And then I looked at his photo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I got the list. All right, I got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'm gonna hold you up a number. When you see. Okay, you see all the lists already.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on, let me look one more time. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boom, bing, bang, boom, zip, zap.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a lot of stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

A little bit of wood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, here we go. It's too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I could get a whole new kitchen done for that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought. It seemed we're having.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me tell you what I. Okay. Let me tell you what I got done, right? And you tell me. I got wall taken out, open. Opened up the whole kitchen, whole kitchen demoed, redone electrical, bathroom ripped out, closet ripped out, wall put up, redone all the Floors upstairs sanded, redone. Downstairs bathroom, redone. Wall taken out in the bedroom to make the walk in closet. The closet stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Put up your cologne room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My cologne game's on. Fucking.

[Bobby Kelly]

The very room that sent your son down to the basement.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How great is that cologne room, though?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a good cologne room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, it's nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a nice cologne room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had a cologne shelf put in the wall. Oof. It's great. All this stuff done. And then I think it was 40, 45. All new kitchen, two new bathrooms, electrical, lighting.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's so much more.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's. It's. If you think about what you're having done, there's no. You're not ripping anything out. You're not demoing anything. You're not redoing a whole new thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, there are some things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you ask. Let me ask you a question. Did you negotiate at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's just enough. We haven't. Well, we've asked some questions. That was the initial price.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He said I would try to get him. I would say 15.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, we're giving them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I wasn't giving a number. I was gonna say 15 million.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black Lou? Yes. Two questions. Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does he know your profession?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did? You told him?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, does he? Let me ask you another question.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I did. Christine told him, I have to assume.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never tell them what you do.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then. And then I. He's. Here's the other big thing about saying no to this guy. I'm pretty sure he's awol. Israeli Mossad. This guy is so sweet. He is so nice. So lovable. Amazing with the dog. He is awesome. But he looks like if I said something wrong, he might like, Swayze ripped my throat out or something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Another question.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is he driving?

[Christine]

Toyota.

[Bobby Kelly]

Toyota Tacoma.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A truck.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Truck is good.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If they pull up on a Cadillac, that means he's not doing the work. He's got a lot of money and he hires other people. But that means you're paying twice because he's. He's going to charge you $4,000 extra. He wants his cut, and he's going to charge the people who do it this much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gotcha.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you don't want the guy in the Cadillac. You want the guy in the truck. That means he's going to be doing the work. That means the money's not going to.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's definitely doing the work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's a good recommendation from a good source.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I believe he can get all. Because he also was able to tell us things. He was like, get an electrician for that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you get.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get a plumber.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the best part about when you get a Spanish guy, which I only go with now.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're terrified of you singing out of the country. This guy's not worried about that. If I make a threat like that, this guy will repel down behind me somewhere I'm not expecting and take my throat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not it. That is not.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's called an Israeli necktie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But no, it's because my cousin will do this. My. Like when we got our stuff, I needed my lawn mowed. He goes, my son, he does a lawnmower. He'll come. He just mowed the lawn and did all the stuff we need. The electrical here is kind of messed up. My. My cousin's coming. He does electrical. He's going to come and do it. You know what I mean? It's just like they know every. It's all in house. He's not going to be like, yeah, once you have to go get another guy. That's a whole nother thing. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the big deal, too, is this guy's doing all of that stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's doing the plumbing, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's only one plumbing thing we need done. But every. All the work, all the paint, all the floor, all the everything.

[Christine]

We have to do wallpaper separately. There's a couple walls.

[Bobby Kelly]

We want wallpaper, but he's ready. He's prepping it for that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why do you want wallpaper?

[Christine]

Is it the Christine just in two places.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it the seventies?

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine wants wallpaper.

[Christine]

No, we're ripping down wallpaper in the bathroom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta not. I can't.

[Christine]

You don't like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't. You can't do Whitney cumming he fingers because I'm gonna throw up. Keep your hands.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was she Whitney Cummings fingering you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was. She was the.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was giving. It's for you to zip it and then she's giving you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's this thing that a lot of women are doing now. The power hands. It's three. It's the three fingers into the thumb and they suck you in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I give you a fun Christine thing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because this is my new favorite impression. I haven't even got to unveil it yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

DJ Lou was just doing. He was just practicing the fingers.

[Bobby Kelly]

I haven't got a chance to do this yet. Who was on the meeting yesterday when Christine was in the car with me?

[Jacob]

All of us.

[Bobby Kelly]

All you guys were on the Meeting. She was trying to be quiet because she was in the car with me and I just heard a Christine, like, you know, her arbitrary laugh after things she says. It was her just going. She goes, yeah, well, that's what I thought was going to happen. She still has to hit the bumps. She goes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, when did you pick up the AOC hands? The old Whitney Cumming fingers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ever since they took away your right to abortion.

[Christine]

Like a lock it up motion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never. It's a. It's a woman's power move. I think it has.

[Christine]

My old roommate Emily used it all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The. The fingers.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a. It's a.

[Christine]

It's like enough.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but you. You're doing it in the thing where you're.

[Christine]

I don't know why I did it though. What I was talking about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, she's still doing it for a wallpaper replacement. Yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, because we're taking out there.

[Jacob]

It is so natural. We're taking out.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you shush and I'll tell you.

[Christine]

I was taking it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You take.

[Christine]

Yes, we're taking out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was taking it out. Is that.

[Christine]

No, I was reaching. I was reaching.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I think she was. I think she was ripping down wallpaper. And then we'll be putting up new wallpaper.

[Christine]

No, we're putting up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Anyways, can I say this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is going to be hard for you to do. It's going to be hard for you to do.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you should have Christine walk away from Christine forever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, not that. That's not hard.

[Christine]

That's easy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's easy. You have so much going for you right now. If there's any point, you should.

[Christine]

You could sell my closet to future prospects.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I'll move in. Christine, you can move in.

[Bobby Kelly]

That closet is a good sell for the next girl for sure. You come in, here I go. Don't pay attention to all this witch shit. You could put up your tight little skinny dresses up here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can rip those dream catchers down. They don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Set those dream catchers off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

And if you want, she took Dawkins so you could sit on Dawkins perch and look up the back window. Hey, feel free to look out Dawkins window.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, I want you to do this. I don't think you can do it. You should be able to do it. And it's a hard thing to do. You got to negotiate. You got to go back. Listen, don't shake your head.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not Gonna do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You listen to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never done this once in my life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to negotiate with these guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's how I feel. I negotiate this guy down $1,000. Now he goes, I don't give a. About this job or this work. That's exactly. Am I crazy, Lou? That sounds. No, I'm like, he's already gone. I. He's telling me I'm not worth the work I'll do, so I'll give him what I think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not true. That's your childhood trauma. Yeah, that's not it. I hang out with these guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know I was raped by a contractor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hang out with these guys at the cigar lounge all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm telling you about how they fucking dick around with assholes like me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Exactly.

[Jacob]

He can't retroactively negotiate. He already agreed.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, wait a second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

This guy also told me he smokes cigars. He made a big thing about the fact that he smoked cigars. So he's a cigar smoking flim flam man. You're telling me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna give you some cigars. I'll give you some really good cigars to give this guy too. I'll give you like a bag. Will you be like, hey, man, this my friend smokes cigars. Big cigar guy. You like these? I got you some cigars. He'll love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

These are shit. Are you setting me up or something?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you sending me? Are these fucking gonna be? Are these like Palestinian cigars? You're gonna have me give him, and then he's gonna know, and then he's gonna really be mad at me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna. I'm teaching you how to be a big boy right now. Because you're a big boy now. You got a house, You're a homeowner. You understand? You gotta. You gotta just.

[Bobby Kelly]

A modest home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta. It's not a modest. You outta your mind?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's definitely a modest home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Modest home for who? It's literally out of the loop.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's literally double the size of our small apartment.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a. What is it called in the backyard. Would you call it pavilion? A pavilion? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Modest people have pavilions.

[Jacob]

I would push back on your. Your calling it a small apartment.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. No, I said my apartment now.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

We don't have a small apartment.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's three total rooms.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you have a pavilion.

[Jacob]

Come by.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're talking about my apartment.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But, but now you have a pavilion. You have a pool.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not deep enough.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a double garage. I mean, you are just a negative Nelly. I can't. You can be pleased at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

I am very pleased.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, this is what you got to go. You got to go into it negotiating, man. You got to be like, look, man, I got a certain. I told you. I got a certain budget right now. We're going to need other things done, because here's what's going to happen. They're going to do all the stuff, and then they're going to find other stuff that needs done, and it's gonna be like, look, man, this happened, but we gotta. You want to take care of this, too? And that's gonna be another thousand. 1500. So when they say 17, they really mean 20.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's also. Am I answering this? Am I falling for something? Because when he was walking us around, he was also very quick to tell you the things. He was like, I wouldn't.

[Christine]

He said, don't spend money on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't spend money. He's like, don't spend money on painting this. He goes, this paint's good. This is, like, very. No, that's good that he's Places that I was like, specifically on my. Are you sure? I think we should. He's like, this is good pain. He's like, why would you just gonna make it look like this again?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, no, no, that's good that he's doing that. He's saving you a couple bucks here and there, because he could just be like, yeah, that's more money. So that's good that he's doing that. But why is he doing. He's doing that?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I'm saying. Is that the flim of the flam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the flim of the flam. So what he's doing is. And this sounds like a righteous dude, by the way, because I've dealt with the Russians, I've dealt with the Italians. I've dealt with the white guy, the master carpenter white dude. You got to stay away from him. Yeah, he's gonna cost you a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

This guy's straight from the Gaza, because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That guy defending the homeland and Jay did.

[Christine]

He was able to casually drop in that he was Jewish, which is nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did a. Jeez, are we the only two Jews in this town? He goes, no. He goes, you please hit me up. I get a rabbi for you. He started off being a rabbi, and I was like, oh, this rabbi. Okay.

[Christine]

I love when I met.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, a local rabbi.

[Christine]

When I met with him, I just thought he was so Confident when they was able to get everything done. So he met with me for like an hour. Then we went back with Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

By the way, he also said he wouldn't want to give quotes or do anything until he had me there also, which I thought's a good move. I also think, do you know why when someone tries to take advantage of. Of the girl in the situation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's Israeli and he talks to men, not to woman.

[Christine]

Why I can't negotiate with him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably realize that Christine's a dumb.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't like her fingers when she puts them together in a dominant little stunts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jason, I will tell you if she two more times puts hands in face, I bite it off.

[Christine]

I think, Bobby, what you've been telling us to do the whole time is get multiple quotes. So I think I need to. I have somebody else that we know very well that's going to recommend. I think I need to go through everything with another person.

[Bobby Kelly]

I am not going to walk through that house again and point out everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Please get a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tell them the colors. I'm not doing that again.

[Christine]

I can do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get a Spanish guy. Please get a Spanish guy. Here's what you do.

[Jacob]

Give it to Christine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay, you got the, you got the Albanian or Israeli guy.

[Christine]

I have a list.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great. You get the white guy or Italian guy. There's levels to it. You know, the Spanish guys, they're always going to do it cheaper. They're going to do a great job and they're going to. They're going to have everything in house.

[Bobby Kelly]

I tell you something, nothing lowers my confidence in a person more than the confused face of a Spanish person. So a Spanish speaking person when I'm talking to them, when they show that like, oh. And then eventually kind of do like the. Oh, okay, okay. They did not know what I said. And they're just gonna make a move and hope that that's what I was talking about. This Israeli guy is not gonna do that. In fact, I'm pretty sure he'll bare hands kill a person.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't talk to. You gotta talk to the main guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, I'm nervous that this guy's gonna hurt me if I don't just give him the money. Can I just give him this money, please?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, this, this is what you do. You can't. You gotta step up right now.

[Jacob]

Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? Get your fingers. Jacob, if you do AOC fingers, I'm going to bite your fingers. Bobby, get your. Oh, I can't. Bobby, everybody's doing it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, you're freaking out right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't do it. Stop. Black glue. Please don't do it, Bobby. Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're skitsing out right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get your fingers down.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just people trying to talk to you about something again.

[Jacob]

You have real life experience of having construction work done to your house many times, but for, I would say, 10 years, I've been watching Christine on the coast.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Jacob]

So, okay, so you're equal. I think I know a little something about a little something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I've never.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's called your little apartment that you rent.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know how if I need bookshelves, I'll call you.

[Jacob]

But I don't know if I ever.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I find out the best place to frame a poster, give me a call.

[Jacob]

I'm your man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I need a love seat that converts to a pullout, I'll give you Buzz.

[Jacob]

My point is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I've never seen her quote. I don't think she's done a reservation under $100,000. No, because it seems like Trump changed what, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because she's. No, because she's dealing with. You understand the first quote that they give you, you got to come back and be like, look, can you do it for 15? And he's going to go, no, okay, okay, I'll do it for 15. Just say, hey, dude, I gotta. You gotta. I told you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Think he's Gonna come down $27,000 on his price? Just keep making fictitious numbers. First of all, you think he's gonna come $46,000 below his price? I'm saying the price to meet me somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just giving you a number so we can associate it so people can. I'm not giving the real number. I'm just saying the number that would be consistent to what you're gonna. What you're being paid, what you're being asked to pay. I'm just saying you should say, is there any. You got to go in. You got to do your part. He's doing his part. I want to make the most money I can, but give them a good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bit, and then if it avoids. If I could handle this through text, I'd write, great start tomorrow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look, you can do that. If you're happy with it, do it. But I would negotiate. Just. You got to come in. I have a budget. We got to do the pool. We have to do the backyard. We got to do this, this, and this. I have a certain amount of money I'm dealing with right now because of all the money I Put out. Is there any way you could do this for 15? There's gonna be other stuff. I know stuff. And he's gonna be like, okay, well.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you a thing that we're also running into. It's great because I just watched recently the American dad, where someone bets them that their relationship couldn't survive a home renovation of any kind. And me and Christina, I believe, are hitting our. We might be splitting up ways based solely of the modern versus the old of us and our age difference coming into play that. I really want the basement to have two walls of wood. Like wood. Look, panel. And don't make a face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry. Did I make a face? I didn't know it. Do it again. Do it again. Say it again. Just say it again. I'm sorry. I don't know what that was. Go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Four walls of a basement. I want. You can't. You're making a face at four walls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think I'm getting bell palsy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude spells palsy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That too. I'm getting both of them. I'm getting both palsies now. Go ahead. You are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Double up on your palsy. You want wood paneling along two walls. I think it brings a warmth to the room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It does not bring a black.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice, nice.

[Jacob]

Like a herringbone. Like the ship lap type of thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, more like rustic looking, I believe.

[Jacob]

I need an example, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's what it does with the. But if you do wood, it's going to make it a little darker. Right. I had all my floors up top were black.

[Bobby Kelly]

My studio will be there, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Keep in mind, black wood floors. I was like, I love this black wood. I never said I love it. And then Don was of course now. And she said, we're lightning. They're going to be all light. And thank God, because it makes the whole place look bigger. So if you. I don't mind if you go darker wood, but it's going to make it look a little smaller.

[Bobby Kelly]

Walls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it'll feel warm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what you get? What we got for the kitchen? Acoustic wood paneling. They just put it up and it's acoustic, so it deadens the noise outside and inside. And it looks modern yet masculine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Perfect.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what you get.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black. Leave your thoughts. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Quick question with the price.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is there a time constraint on this? Could that be factoring into the price? Did you guys ask for it by a certain time?

[Christine]

Yeah, but it's. It's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like by next week, you have to get another person. Just get one More person to come in and give a bid. And you'll see, you'll be like this. He might come in lower and you'll be like, what were we thinking? Thank God. And he might do more or he might come in way higher. You understand? And then you'll be like, you know what, let's go. You got to get another bid. If you don't get another require, you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don'T have to do all of that again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't. She can do it. Let her do it.

[Christine]

I was expecting it to be about double. What painting the whole house is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's doing the fingers with a thing in her hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's turned completely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She is.

[Christine]

I was thinking it would be about double what painting the house would be. And it's about triple.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Christine]

So that's why it was a little.

[Jacob]

Like, are you doing the backyard? Is the patio included in these renovations?

[Bobby Kelly]

There's nothing there.

[Jacob]

Your dream patio.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pavilion.

[Jacob]

You mean pavilion.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing. There's nothing to do in there.

[Jacob]

Oh, it's done. So you don't have to do the backyard at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

TV out there?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great. Welcome to Nadia Yada Island. Next on Nadia Yada Island.

[Jacob]

I knew I deserved so much more, so I left. I finally switched to Metro and got what I was looking for.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get one line for only $25 a month with Autopay. Just bring your phone to Metro and experience all the data you want on.

[Christine]

The largest 5G network.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's nada.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yada yada.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Only at Metro by T Mobile.

[Christine]

First month is $30.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bring your number and ID offer not available. If with Timo Blur with Metro in.

[Christine]

The past 180 days, I would just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would say you gotta go into these. Look, we have a budget. Don't have to tell them the budget. I got a budget. I got a lot of stuff to do. I'm trying to work this out. Is there any can you do? How about don't even say a number? Can you do me a little better on this? And he's gonna go. He's going to say yes because he knows he's going to get you and he's going to do more. You're not paying that number. If you think you're going to pay that number and other stuff isn't going to happen.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

He told us that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he goes, look, as things come, I go. When I fend them out, that's a starting point. Change.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a starting point. So start the starting point a little lower so that, you know. So my Guy came to me in the kitchen. We got a brand new stove. We got this new electric stove because we were going to go gas and blah, blah, blah, blah. We just don. Found the new electric stoves. They heat up, they shut off quick. They're amazing. They. They convection, they air fry. They do all this stuff, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is how I feel about electric stoves. Is my face showing it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I, I. Dude, I feel you. When. When she said electric, I was like, I don't want electric. But the new electric stove is insane.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's great. You got the stove of a comedy condo in Columbus, Ohio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel you. But she assured me, and she was right, that the new electric stoves, the way they work and it's like the high end, whatever, it's like, it's really great, right? But we had to put a new wire in. And the guy was like, this wire cost 6. He said 500. Then he went, 600? It's going to cost you $1,600 to put the wire in. And I went, dude, what are you talking about? When you gave me, you know, I was like, I can do it for a thousand. And he's like, all right, I'll make it happen. So I got. Of course you can make it happen.

[Bobby Kelly]

He gave me the wrong wire, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he was. No, he gave me the right wire, but he was.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So the wire cut. I. The wire cost 400, right? The work probably cost maybe 600 or 500 to do it. Then he added on his fee and gave the guy a little more money, and then I just took that money away, you understand?

[Bobby Kelly]

And sent his family back to Panama.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, Guatemala. But you got to negotiate, man. You can't. You got to go in. And the way I did it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think this guy plays games.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, can't be afraid of your contractor.

[Bobby Kelly]

He looks very scary.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you. Is he John Wick? He's not going to kill you.

[Bobby Kelly]

He corrected my behavior with my dog several times.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. Just accept it then. Dude, I didn't know he did that.

[Bobby Kelly]

He corrected my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that your house?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the pavilion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. The wood paneling up top is. Is that bringing you. Bringing that inside?

[Jacob]

Holy. That is nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's. Dude, you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That. That is not a common house.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it is. That's not a common thing in the backyard. Pavilion.

[Christine]

We're really lucky to actually get kind of a modest house with all the features in the backyard that we wanted. Stop, Bobby. They're just my hands.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, but they're doing the thing and it's driving me batty. I feel like you're giving a talk at this. Christine, enough with the hands about windmills. We need more windmills pavilion.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I don't know.

[Jacob]

Are you talking about, like that type of paneling, Jay?

[Christine]

The I'm trying to picture of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bring up acoustic wood paneling. Look, if he sees you like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Acoustic wood paneling, please, I would just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Say you should learn to negotiate a little bit. Do not just say yes. Once you say yes, they know you're a pushover.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. Once they see me negotiating, though, I think this Israeli guy is going to see me as a terrorist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he does not negotiate with terrorists, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He likes you. He already likes you. Even though.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he doesn't like me. He likes that. I. And tell you, let me tell you a friendship. I overhand hard. He goes, you're a comedian, huh? He goes, what do you think of Modi? I go, I've known Modi for 20 some years. He's the best. He goes, yeah, he's so good. He's going, but he's everywhere now. Now I go, yeah, man. Modi's blowing up in my side. I'm going, is he? I have no idea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's your tea right here. And Modi's the best at it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Have Modi have gay sex with him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, call Modi. Modi will tell you what to do. He is the best negotiator I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Modi's. It's not going to tell me what to do. Can Modi just negotiate? If I have Modi call him, this guy will come in his pants. He likes Modi so much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do it. I'm telling you, use everything you got to save money. Use it.

[Bobby Kelly]

But if this guy thinks for one second I'm playing games, dude, you're going to see. Christine's going to see a fucking red dot on my chest. And then all of a sudden, like, jay, what is. Is that a laser pointer? I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's back, buddy. I'm telling you, use Modi. Modi will negotiate. I'll tell you what.

[Bobby Kelly]

His name is Elon. But he says, elon, Alon. I know he's gonna hurt me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not gonna hurt you, dude. You gotta. They like, I think he's killed before. They like, alpha, don't be a beta. He's. He's. He's looking at you, trying to see if he could respect you or not. Right now. He's not respecting you. You call him up and go, everything's good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why? Because I let him yell at me about the way I treat my dog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did he say about the dog?

[Bobby Kelly]

I was trying to stop Dawkins from jumping all over him, and he informed me. He goes, stop it. She's fine. I like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got cucked.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I was like, okay, you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You fucking. You were in first gear.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then by the end of that, when she would be up his ass when he's trying to tell us something, I go, dawkins. And he look at me like. And I go, no, no, no. I'm just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got alpha male.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he was. I mean, he looked like a paratrooper. He was wearing, like a bomber jacket that had, like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's just. It's just.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's what it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's wearing fatigues and boots. Like, the guy looked serious as shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Buddy, you just don't hang out with men, huh? You don't hang out with men. He's just a man. I'm not a man. I'm a dude. You hang out with dudes. All your fucking guys have sex silly shit on and do silly shit and say silly shit. You just.

[Bobby Kelly]

I told him. But I started talking, too. I went in that same. The shower that has been the bane of my existence since the inspector laughed at me for asking who do I hire to caulk the thing. Ever since he laughed at me for that, I don't even bring it up. This guy saw bitch in my heart. Cause he goes. He goes, yeah. He goes, we're gonna need to caulk down there. I go, yeah. The guy told me I can do it. He was like, don't do it. He was like, stay. Keep your girly ass away from us before you break a nail.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is your first man friend.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's not my friend. I think he's more my boss.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's because that's how you feel when you meet your first man friend. You feel like they're the boss.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, daddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You need this guy. This is your first man.

[Bobby Kelly]

I go, you want to order pizza or do we not even eat stuff like that?

[Jacob]

You want to let him do that, Jay, you don't want a first time cock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Jacob knows about first time cocks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I agree.

[Jacob]

I'm an expert.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know you are. You live alone. You have a fancy life.

[Jacob]

On the weekends, I mean, they call me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know they do.

[Jacob]

To Caulk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They. Of course they do. They call you the caulker.

[Jacob]

My whole family come over. I gotta redo this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Jacob, get over here and lay down some caulk.

[Jacob]

That's right. Clean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mm.

[Jacob]

You wouldn't. I mean, expert, disease free.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't caulk. Don't be a cock.

[Jacob]

It looks nothing worse than sloppy cock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'm certain of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Jacob]

It'll ruin the whole look.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Sloppy cock is no joke, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I'm just going to leave Christine home with sloppy cock the entire time when I'm on the road.

[Jacob]

Yeah, you want an expert?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yo, can I tell you something? In 1985, this bit would be murdering on terrestrial radio. Right now. We would be. The phone lines would be ringing. What are these guys saying? Double entendres. This game was wrapped up in phone wires.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm.

[Bobby Kelly]

We are. We're all getting fired. Listen, man, then there'd be a rally out in Times Square for us. Save Pop and J.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta. You gotta man up, bro. You gotta man up. Go up to him, walk right up to him, shake his hand firmly, but not too firm, not too light, and go. Hey, how you doing? What's his name again?

[Bobby Kelly]

Elon. I. I presented my hand to him when I met him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have fingernail polish on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I curtsy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you gotta take that off.

[Bobby Kelly]

He noticed it, I think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course he did.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he saw it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We all do.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he saw it in my big, long, beautiful eyelashes. And he fucking saw that he could just take me and bend me over.

[Jacob]

Think about it. First of all, your fingernail.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's nothing you can do about those beautiful eyelashes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I went this drawer. I've never had drawer trash before. I've always had trash that has to sit out and about in the house. Drawer trash. But the drawer for drawer trash doesn't stay shut. And I was like. I brought him over there. Like, I was showing him a major home repair. He's like, yeah, I'll put. Sure. And I was like. Because this. If you sit here and stare at it, you see it opens after a while and it's freaking me out. And he was like, sure. He's like, I'll fix that, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got the voice.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he did a lot of that. Like, I was like. But I want to make sure he's like, I understand. I get like. He would do that. A lot of like, calm down, Tubbs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're done, dude. You're already out of it. You can't have him talk to you like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I tell you Something. I think I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna give him three more and make it a nice, even number. I think I'm just gonna make it a nice, even number. Let's just walk away from this. All friends. I also feel like this guy will be available at any time to correct or do any other job we need. And he's local.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you.

[Bobby Kelly]

And this is a guy where you go, hey, there's everything I said that I was like, oh, man, I bought a house, and I guess this is how it's going to crumble into pieces. There's a crack that runs right along the seam of the roof in our bedroom that no one else have noticed on. He's just kind of like, yeah, it's. That's an easy enough thing as I'll make sure. He's like, I'll make sure I fix that. And I was just like, oh, how'd he get up there? I'm like, that's too scary of a tall ladder to do that. And he's just kind of like, yeah, it's no big deal. So I'm like, now I'll be honest with you. If he told me that alone was this entire price, I go, okay. I guess it's what it costs to have a guy get on a tall ladder in my house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jake, did you. Can I ask you a couple questions?

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you wear the mittens when you met him?

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh, Christine, did I wear mittens? No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God. Thank God.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, listen, you gotta. You just gotta. I say, I suggest take the fingernail polish off.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's two ladies. Already seen it. Now he's gonna know. Now he's gonna think that I'm in my mind going, oh, that didn't attract him. Let me see if he likes me more all natural.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you get fingernail polishes at the Israeli flag?

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh. Now if I went blue and white.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Blue and white, Blue and white, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's not a bad idea. Hanukkah nails.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's that?

[Christine]

Okay, hang on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that would want.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no. So, no, that's gotta go. No, go back to that and pause it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you got a little storage room.

[Jacob]

Oh, I like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Storage room like that. What is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is their stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is that, a fake oven?

[Bobby Kelly]

So pause. Now, this right here, this happened twice in the house. This is very, very funny. And this happened a week ago when we are deep into owning this house already. Weeks and weeks in owning this house. We went down there and we go, you Know what? What I would like to keep here in this, the family room, is that the half wall upstairs or the half wall to go to the backyard, like the back door or the back wall and the front wall of the house. Half the wall is a, like, white brick facade that I was like, that's very nice looking. Like, I don't even want to cover that with too much stuff. And like the other day, like last week, we went over there, and I was like. Cause I do love this brick. It's wallpaper with pictures of bricks on it right there.

[Christine]

It's not even facade.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not a facade at all. And that goes on both sides of that room. It's just wallpaper. It's sticker of brick. No idea. Then in the basement the other day, I go, I know I want to put my studio right in here. And I do like this wooden wall also. Wallpaper. The wood is wallpaper. It doesn't go all the way down to the floor either. It's not with done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, looks good in the photo, though, doesn't it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, looks good in person. I thought we had wood and brick inside the house, of which we have neither. So those. That'll be. So that. And the one that you'd be standing at to take this picture. There you go. Right there. That will be done with actual facade that's involved in this price.

[Christine]

No, that we're just getting this. We're getting taken down and painted because it's going to be blocked by a couch. And you're correct, a crate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anyway, we're not doing it there. But on the other side, we are here.

[Christine]

We're getting brick facade.

[Bobby Kelly]

But if. If Elon says we have to, I will.

[Christine]

Yeah, if mom thinks it's better.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then go to that other thing. The wood in the basement. It's a sticker. It's so infuriating. So get one accent wall. So here's what I want to do. I want to do that one wood. Wood. And then let the video go. And then that.

[Christine]

This whole back wall.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then to that.

[Christine]

We were gonna paint it.

[Jacob]

That's all.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it'd look nice.

[Christine]

I said, I think it'll look very like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can you bring up acoustic wood wall covering? Look at that in the kitchen. You know how they have that fake wallpaper brick?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Do you want to talk to this guy Bobby? Because I'm not bringing up any new ideas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I will. If you want me to do it, I can do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please do not piss off Elon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not gonna Piss him off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now your Boston bullshit's gonna come out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've done it so many times, dude. My contractor in New Hampshire, this guy's from the woods.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you treat me like a sucker, dude?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This guy. When. When I told him when the. The inspector was coming to the house to inspect the plans, the blueprints of what we were doing, I was like, barry, what if they don't. There was a new thing. I go, what if they don't approve this? He goes, what the fuck do you mean? I go, what if they don't approve this because it's not what it was supposed to be? He goes, he'll fucking approve it. If he doesn't fucking approve it, I'll light his fucking trees on fire. I was like, okay. He goes, la. He goes, last inspector didn't prove it. I went to his house, and I burnt the. I burnt. I burnt the pine. The pine trees. Two pine trees, Big ones. I lit him on fire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is this what happens when you start smoking cigars of people?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

You find all this crazy shit about them, but I like. There's acoustic wood up there, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just let Barry. I let him do whatever the fuck he wants.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, we got to do this. I'm like, okay, Barry. And I go, don, pay him. Me and Don are both scared, and I'm pretty sure he wants to Fuck. Don't. I'm 100% sure this guy, if he.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wants Christine, will just take her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I think Barry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Elon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I might let Barry have a go at dawn just to get some stuff done.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have any recourse or special set of skills that can solve this. If Elon takes Christine back to the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Motherland, you just gotta just hear the screams in the other room of pleasure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I couldn't hear you. I couldn't hear you because of the acoustic wood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't hear you going, oh, God, Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Finally.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mazel tov. Mazel tov. A donal on the cherry coat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christina. I knew I was deeper than that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look it. That's acoustic wood pants. They have a bunch of different styles, but that goes right up on the wall, and it's acoustic, so when you do your studio, you won't hear some shit in the backyard. Look at that one in the middle. The one in the middle right over to the left. Down one right there. That's nice.

[Jacob]

Jay, is this also your music room?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Jacob]

Oh, then you want to. You put that. You can rock out probably, and they'll know none of your neighbors are going to bitch like a bunch of pussies.

[Bobby Kelly]

A bunch of fucking stupid pussies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And that just goes up in paneling. So you buy a bunch of panelings and just stick it up on the wall.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now what do you think is going to throw it up to Christine and even 70k? Because I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to jump here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I give you another suggestion?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't bought all the stuff. Find out what you need. You buy it because if they buy it, you're paying more money.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I was told that we thought we're paying less money because he gets like. They get contractor deals on certain things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you buy it. Like Don went and bought the shower stuff, the tile. She went and picked up everything.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is so easy for you to say when you don't have to mix it up with this fucking guy, man. This guy means business and he means it bad. Okay? And he told me I have till tonight to get him this money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't pay him first.

[Bobby Kelly]

He told me I have to pay him the entire thing first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not what he said to me, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You do not pay the entire amount. Are you crazy?

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, I don't know if you're supposed to, but he gave me the quote while he had my shirt like twisted up in his fist and pulling me close to him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't pay. Please tell me you're not paying him. You have to pay him a piece. He starts the job, then you pay him another piece in the middle that it's going well.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. He said cash money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope.

[Bobby Kelly]

In a bag.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

A duffel bag that I. And then there better not be any ink dye things in there or trackers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What about if you can't pay him up? You're not paying them all up front.

[Bobby Kelly]

First things first. He checked me and Christine for air tags. What do you think that was? It's before I get to numbers. Turn around.

[Jacob]

What about casually? If your friend Bobby just happened to be at the next negotiation with this guy? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no more in face negotiations with this guy. We're telling him yay or nay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

First of all, I don't want anything to do with this guy. You get Modi over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe this is a job for Modi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. A gay Jew.

[Bobby Kelly]

I never thought I'd say that my entire life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A gay Jew is not afraid of anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's not. No, no. You're hurting my friend's feelings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Call up Modi. Talk to Modi.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't tell him like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know him. You want me to call him for you?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Christine]

We're sick. Modi on this guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, Modi will talk to the guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can Modi call the show right now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

See if you can get me out of this. Not out of this. I guess a better price, but I gotta say, this all seemed fair when he said it to me. When the number was brought to me, I was like, I don't know. I'm not. I have no acknowledgement. I'm not rich. So this is not. Not a lot of money to me. It's just. It seems like a crazy amount of work that I was. That I thought I was gonna have to hire a bunch of different people for. And this guy assured me at knifepoint that that would not be the case.

[Jacob]

It seems, like I said, I watch TV shows and they don't seem to do anything under 100 grand. So this seems like a good price. No, but I didn't see the list. I didn't see the list.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is not a whole house remodel.

[Christine]

It is a whole house saying the 100 grand product.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, 100 grand is.

[Jacob]

No, she. She'll do a hundred grand on the kitchen alone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen. Yeah, but you're dealing with a TV show. You're not gonna know the real numbers. It's all fucking bullshit. I'm talking from. I've done it four times, actually. The tiny hose. I had a plot of land with nothing and had to build everything from scratch. Three homes, remodeling. I've done this so many times. You have to go in. I have a budget. You have to go in. Fake like you don't have money.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, Christina already said. She said he's a comedian and he's been having an amazing few years. She oversold you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can't I take my. Watch out.

[Bobby Kelly]

She gave all the big venues I played, but didn't say that I was opening for people. She's like, oh, this guy just shut down the Wells Fargo center in Penn. Penny. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that the right number, Lou? Yeah. Lou, can you grab that? Make sure that's the right number? Modi's gonna call in right now and help you. We're gonna get you Jewish help right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You good?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, it's good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's good.

[Bobby Kelly]

I need this Jewish help.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the deal, dude. You gotta. You can't just go. Yes. You have to stick up for your family.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said goodbye to this guy and almost assured him in my head that we'll Be seeing you again real soon. I. I showed my ass completely. And then I pulled the cheek aside for him. And then I winked with my asshole. Hey, Elon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah? If you buy the stuff, whatever you can buy by yourself and have Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

What you're gonna get fucking. We went to Home Depot the other day. I freaked out in five different aisles. And then we stared at toolboxes for tools we don't have yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't do it. Have her do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine was. Will do it. She'll go pick it up. You'll be good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the problem with Christine. I walk everything. We walk by. I go. Because again, I'm like, these are the door knobs. We'll get. Let's pick up the E. Door knobs. And she's like, ah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'm like, I want to leave everybody. The great Mo's on the line. Very funny comedian and negotiator. No, Modi, it's me, Robert Kelly, and the great Jay Okerson.

[Modi]

What's up, boys?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's up, buddy? How are you?

[Modi]

Thank God. Doing well.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen, I got it. We have a question. Look at.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. Wait, wait, wait. First, let me tell Modi why he's involved in this at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was just about to.

[Modi]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was just about to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You. You've bought apartments. You've. You. I bought houses. It's a. It's a process and remodeling and getting contractors to come in. And I've said to Jay, you got to get more than one bid. You got to negotiate. You can't just go on what they say. But for some reason, Jay's having a hard time, and I really need you to help him right now. He has a contractor. He just bought his first home in Jersey. It's beautiful. He has to get a bunch of things done to it. Not major things, but a bunch of stuff. And he. The guy gave him a bid. And I said, the bid's a little high. You should negotiate that down a little bit. And he is frightened of this man, I believe, because he's in the Mossad.

[Bobby Kelly]

You said he definitely looks like it. And.

[Modi]

Oh, he's Israeli. He's Israeli.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's very Israeli. His name's Elon. And here's why.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I told you, you gotta go for the Mexicans, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. This guy's gonna get the job done for sure. But, Modi, why you can't. Was so Christine. And Bobby's already made a Christine for this. Christine told the guy when she met with him without Me that he was. That she told him that I was a comedian. So in the middle of our meeting with him the other day yesterday, he brings up. He goes. He goes, so you're a comedian. He goes, how do you feel about Modi? And then, Modi, I'm not gonna lie to you. I oversold our friendship real heavy. I think I even made suggestion that you'd pop by while they're doing work maybe and cheer him up during lunch.

[Modi]

At the truck.

[Bobby Kelly]

So. So I heavy oversold that he was very, very excited about me knowing you and then went on to give a price that Bobby says is pretty high, but I don't feel like this guy's down for negotiations. And I like that he's doing everything. Okay. Was it.

[Modi]

Was the word cash mentioned at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, cash wasn't mentioned. But can I say this? He's gonna do a job that would be. You'd have to do more for it if it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, if you do cash, you get a better deal. Yeah, if you do cash. If you go, look, dude, I'm gonna pay you all in cash.

[Modi]

If you pay in cash or part of it in cash, you do it. Not. Not that you have any cash. You guys, we don't work with cash anymore. Right, But. But I don't know. First of all, see, you have to see the whole broad. The whole broadcast picture. What? You don't have time to be there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right, Right.

[Modi]

You need to know from someone that he's worked. That he's worked with if they were happy with the job and working with him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, you have that. We do have that, Christine. Correct.

[Modi]

You have. Then that's. That's a big thing. If you found someone that had that work he worked with and they're happy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What is his thing?

[Christine]

Oh, Ian, we just have the. We have a recommendation from somebody we trust, but not somebody that he's actually. I'm not sure if he's done work for that guy personally.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

He showed me pictures.

[Christine]

Yeah, we saw pictures.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm pretty sure one of them was Evander Holyfield's house. And he didn't do it, but still.

[Christine]

He also works on very nice houses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Which I like, which is not a good thing.

[Modi]

Okay, but the question is like this. He takes your job, he takes your deposit, and then he's working somewhere else and his guys can't come over. You need to see if he has other jobs happening. You to ask him, like, are we your priority once you take this job? Do you have anything else happen? Are you closing down Any other jobs? And how far away are they?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Modi Jay's never going to say that to anyone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine will.

[Modi]

Oh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine doesn't care if this crazy Israeli gets to me.

[Modi]

What kind of work. What kind of work are you doing?

[Christine]

Bobby sent the list.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, Christine's list.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm going to send you the list.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby send you the list of the work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a lot of work. But hear this, hear this. He gave you a great thing so you can negotiate. How much can you do this for? If I pay you in cash? That's your negotiating thing? So out of the gate you can go, hey, you're going to be starting this, and this is your job, right? Like you don't have other stuff going on. How much. How much will you do this if I give you cash?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't understand what the. Everyone keeps saying cash, but, I mean, we'd be end up, like, selling him anyway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, if you give him cash, like, we pay in cash.

[Bobby Kelly]

A lot of the stuff, zero paper trail.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not saying anything. Yeah, I'm just saying cash is king.

[Modi]

I'm just saying cash. Cash is king. To say we're not going to get. We're not going to embellish on that. But it's also, you really got to find out someone that he worked for. Even if you ask him, can you. Can you give me a recommendation of somebody you worked for? And don't even go see, how was working with him? Was he responsive? Did he come back to you? Did his employees always show up? And then when it's over, you know, there's a punch list at the end. You got to, like, make sure that the doorknobs set. That this is. That the light fixtures are all in. Was he available for that or like, once the big stuff was done, did he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You lost. You lost him? He's not even listening.

[Bobby Kelly]

I am listening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's panicking. I am panicking right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just. I told him. I told him I was Jewish, Modi. I told him that I was Jewish. It made a. It made him very excited. But then again, the emotional bullying, not his fault. Just the type of personalities we are. He then offered me access to his rabbi, which I think I accepted. And I haven't. I've never been to a synagogue in my life, I think, except for my friends, bar mitzvahs.

[Modi]

Who's this rabbi?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a great question, Christine.

[Modi]

Doesn't matter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I sent you a list.

[Modi]

Where's the house? Where's the house?

[Bobby Kelly]

Where's the house, New Jersey.

[Modi]

Okay? So let me tell you one thing that we got this guy. Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really.

[Modi]

If you showed him somebody else's appraisal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I told him that, I said you should get another quote and the guy might come in lower. And then you show that guy the quote and he'll that they, they work it out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, am I held guilty when he asked me who gave you that quote? I give a name and that guy turns up dead. Because I do think this guy does not fuck around. You guys want to keep dicking around with Elon and I'm telling you, Elon, sorry.

[Modi]

First of all, just keep it, keep it in perspective. This is a man that installs toilets. So it's not like this isn't Mossad, okay? This is. He installs toilets just easy. He's not all that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay thinks that's a front for what he really does.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm pretty sure his yarmulke was made of Palestinian scalps.

[Modi]

Wait, he, he wears the yarmulke all the time?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, he has a shaved head and he was wearing a bomber jacket. It looked he could have been either, which is a strange look that these things do cross over. He could be high ranking military like combat Mossad or raging white supremacist. It just so happens that his look goes along more with like the Israeli military guy. Very nice. Very, very nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, here's the thing. He's gotta go cash. You gotta, you gotta get another bid and you gotta at least.

[Bobby Kelly]

When is this bid happening? I'm not going through all this again with somebody.

[Christine]

I'll go on Thursday.

[Modi]

You, you go, you get somebody to come in there who takes a look and says, and gives you another estimate. And then you show, you compare and you can show. If you like Elon more, you show a lawn what this guy says.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My guy, if it's led. What? My guy? The guy I just worked with. You want the guy I just worked with.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's your guy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really? I want to just bring and show Modi off like a trophy.

[Christine]

How about now?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll be happy to get on the.

[Modi]

Phone with this guy. I'll be happy to get on the phone with Elon.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's this price? If every, if every four days Modi shows up with bagels.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Modi. I told him that he should kind of not, you know, be like cry poor, but be like, look, I got a budget. I have to stay in this budget. You know, I, I don't. You know, we just spent a lot of this money on this house we got.

[Bobby Kelly]

Already told him off. My high level extraordinary things I've done. I think she. Even when we got there, she was like, oh, he just got a hundred thousand on YouTube.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ. You gave him all his resumes?

[Bobby Kelly]

He doesn't know.

[Modi]

He doesn't know. No, he doesn't know that stuff. He just knows that you're a comedian and he, you know me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what, though. Probably the most important thing for him to know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the thing. You have Modi call and you go. Modi would be like, hey, make sure you, you know, give him a better deal. Modi can negotiate a little for you. Right, Modi?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think Modi, to make him squirm. The wrongs we must right. The fights we must win. The future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are marines. We were made for this.