Huffing Balloon Juice

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode Title: Huffing Balloon Juice

Date: September 9, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

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Episode Overview

In this raucous episode of The Bonfire, Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly return with their trademark blend of unfiltered comedy, personal anecdotes, and off-the-cuff banter. The pair dive into everything from their recent health escapades (including awkward prostate exams and testosterone therapy woes), the blurred lines between wrestling and reality TV, tales of bad magic, substance use at the Gathering of the Juggalos, and a surprisingly sincere appreciation for Amy Schumer. This episode spotlights the chaos and honesty at the heart of their friendship, plus the unpredictable influence of regular contributors like Christine.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Health Updates, Prostate Exams & Testosterone (01:15–04:21)

• Bobby’s Physical Adventures: Robert describes getting back on testosterone therapy, a visit to the proctologist, and an unexpectedly timed rectal exam.
  • Memorable Moment: Bobby humorously recounts facing the wrong way for the exam and the doctor’s offhand comments about his "tight, tiny" prostate (03:09).
    • Quote [03:19, R. Kelly]: “He goes, ‘It smells, right?...Smells like sour popcorn. Smells like a pocket full of change and some popcorn.’”
• The Risks of ‘T’ Therapy: The guys discuss monitoring PSA levels and the need for regular bloodwork.
  • Big Jay jokes about “taking testosterone and waiting to see if his heart shuts off” since his bloodwork was lost by UPS (04:05).
• Imagining Jay as a Rogue Juggalo: Jay riffs on going missing at the Gathering of the Juggalos and paints a ‘forest clown’ scenario (04:19).

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2. Comedy & Music Crossover: Booking a Viral Piano Singer (04:56–08:13)

• Mystery Guest: Talk of bringing on Jay’s favorite acapella/piano guy devolves into comedic misidentification (Billy Joel, Elton John, “Kelly Clarkson—a guy!”).
• Christine’s Booking Efforts: Christine details her struggles DM’ing the singer and finding his manager.
  • Quote [07:58, Christine]: “I DM’d him from a couple different accounts...but he sent it to me directly.”
• Song Parody: Jay starts singing a ridiculous “Fly, Eagles, Fly”-inspired ballad, which Bobby lightly mocks (06:44).
  • Quote [06:58, R. Kelly]: “This is way gayer than Valentine eating my ass.”

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3. Behind the Curtain: Modern Wrestling Reality TV (08:56–13:32)

• WWE’s Behind-the-Scenes Show: Both hosts debate whether it hurts wrestling’s mystique to reveal so much backstage.
  • Bobby: “You can’t do that. It’s your storytelling for adult men.” (09:37)
• Cody Rhodes & Goldust: The pair geek out over Rhodes family wrestling lore and “Goldust’s” bizarre Howard Stern appearance.
  • Quote [11:20, B.J. Okerson]: “That guy went on Howard Stern...and it’s because he’s faking that he had got Tourette’s from a match.”
• Loss of Suspension of Disbelief: Both long for the days when pro wrestling’s stories remained untarnished by reality.
  • Jay: “Man, they’re really just giving you the whole...these people are active right now.” (11:54)

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4. Magic as Performance vs. Reveal Culture (16:02–20:17)

• David Copperfield’s Statue of Liberty Trick: The guys reminisce about televised magic and how explanations (‘just mirrors!’) kill the magic.
  • Quote [16:07, B.J. Okerson]: “How do I possibly know if that’s true...He put up 75,000 gigantic mirrors?”
• Live Comedy Magic: Jay recalls Skank Fest magic acts and the humor of seeing tricks fail up close.
• Love–Hate on Big Tricks: Both prefer close-up magic to over-produced televised stunts.
• Movie Callback: The comedy Burt Wonderstone comes up as their favorite sendup of cheesy magic (20:24).

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5. Stand-Up, Amy Schumer, and the Comedy Scene (26:01–31:38)

• Jay’s Amy Schumer Appreciation: Jay delivers a sincere tribute to Amy Schumer for ‘sending the elevator down’ in the comedy world, helping his career at pivotal moments.
  • Quote [26:44, B.J. Okerson]: “When the cards were down for the big guy and I was feeling a little lost...Amy Schumer saw something in me...I couldn’t pay back. Amy Schumer, that’s my hero.”
• Bobby Busts Jay’s Chops: Robert teases Jay for "ass-kissing" and the conversation devolves into playful ribbing about “buttered bread” and who’s gotten the best Schumer assist.
• Roasting Hollywood: Bobby jokingly laments “Hollywood Jay” and his own outsider status.

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6. The Gathering of the Juggalos, Getting High, and Balloon Juice (Nitrous) (32:28–44:45)

• Jay’s Juggalo Prep: Plans to bring “7,000 packs of cigarettes and so much weed” to the festival, with the group discussing their living arrangements.
  • Weed Smuggling Technique: Jay offers an absurd description of “loading” weed-filled tubes with butter and a “mechanical pencil” strategy (32:39).
  • Quote [33:15, R. Kelly]: “It’s like loading when you—a lever action rifle. You have to put one in halfway and then push the other one in.”
• NOS/Balloon Juice Explained: Jay talks about his nitrous oxide “habit,” how he “did it wrong” last year, and what it actually feels like.
• Bobby’s Whippet Arrest Story: Robert shares getting arrested stealing gumball machines while high on whippets (35:10).
• Christine’s Health PSA: Christine outlines the dangers of heavy NOS use—brain damage, neuropathy, spinal issues.
  • Quote [41:13, Christine]: “Myelin is the protective coating around the nerves.”
• Physical Comedy: Attempting to flex his left arm, Jay demonstrates the (alleged) cognitive decline from his habits, met by Bobby’s mock concern.

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7. Wrap-Up & Sincere Closer (43:51–44:54)

• The Future of The Bonfire: Discussing upcoming hiatus and guest hosts, Bobby heading out, Jay’s return plans, and more gig plugs.
• Christine (once again) reading off positives of NOS (“euphoria, relaxation”) for comedic effect, with Bobby’s deadpan retorts (44:47).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jay’s Prostate Exam:
  “He didn’t even open my butt cheeks. … He just stuck ‘em in through the cheeks that are together.”
  — Robert Kelly [03:09]

• On the Loss of Wrestling Magic:
  “You need to suspend reality to believe that Cody really won the belt… I don’t want to see him cry.”
  — Robert Kelly [12:15]

• On Doing Magic:
  “I always wanted to be a magician.”
  — Robert Kelly [19:41]

• On Jay’s Amy Schumer Gratitude:
  “Amy Schumer saw something in me…that’s my hero.”
  — Big Jay Okerson [26:44]

• On Nitrous/Vices at Juggalo Fest:
  “I’m gonna do it right this year. I did it wrong all last year—‘cause I was putting in my butt.”
  — Big Jay Okerson [37:08]

• On the Dangers of NOS:
  “It can inactivate vitamin B12, disrupting myelin sheath maintenance. It can result in peripheral neuropathy.”
  — Big Jay Okerson reading Christine’s PSA [40:52]

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Episode Highlights: Timestamps

• Bobby recounts his awkward prostate exam: 01:24–03:39
• Juggalo forest-clown fantasy: 04:19–04:49
• Jay sings “Fly, Eagles, Fly” parody: 06:19–07:00
• WWE reality show debate: 08:56–13:32
• Magic rant + Skank Fest magic: 16:02–19:30
• Amy Schumer heartfelt tribute: 26:01–27:32
• Smuggling weed technique: 32:28–33:36
• Nitrous/whippet discussion & health warnings: 34:21–41:34
• Jay can't flex his left arm—physical comedy: 42:19–43:10

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Closing Note

This episode showcases The Bonfire at its irreverent best: personal, wildly funny, occasionally gross, but anchored in genuine camaraderie. Whether discussing the vanilla realities of comedy careers, absurd get-high stories, or the loss of childhood wonder, Jay and Bobby continue to balance raw honesty with relentless humor.

Crackle crackle!

Transcript

[Announcer]

In sports, five games were featured in.

[Big J Okerson]

Hockey Action last evening.

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[Big J Okerson]

We're here.

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[Big J Okerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. You know, this is Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

This is. Yeah, this is little Kim's brother.

[Big J Okerson]

No. You came in here so stoked you were getting sneakers one day.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I. This is. What's his name? My kid. That everybody got trampled. Right. Died.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. What's his name? Why am I flaking?

[Big J Okerson]

MC Everybody got trampled and died.

[Robert Kelly]

MC Everybody's dead.

[Big J Okerson]

MC no survivors.

[Robert Kelly]

God.

[Big J Okerson]

Right down the street from Skank Fest South.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. What's his name?

[Big J Okerson]

People getting murdered. Travis Scott.

[Robert Kelly]

Travis Scott. I. Dude. Good thing. Back on my tea. Back in game day. Got a full physical. Got my physical. Everything's normal, Everything's great. Getting back on the tea. They're sending it out today because I've been off for a week and a half and it was kind of bumming me out and I went and got a. That was weird. I had to go to a proctologist. Nice guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And then we're talking and he's looking at my numbers. He's like, all right, everything looks good, man. You know, everything's, you know, as long as you're ass. I was like, oh cool. I'm like. I grabbed my keys, I'm getting up he goes, just give me. Do a little quick check before you take off. I was like, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

He was finger gas.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, yeah, just turn around, spin around. Pull your pants down. I'm like, oh, God. I was expecting it at the beginning. I was. You know what I mean? I was. I was ready for it. And then I. He took me out of my game.

[Big J Okerson]

I got you.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I. He goes. And I. I just pull my pants down and face the wrong way. Yeah. He was like, no, no, just turn this way. And I was like. He goes, put your hand. He just had me put my hands on the. The chair, put them here. And then I. He didn't even open my butt cheeks. Do you know what I mean? Like, he just stuck him in through the cheeks that are together.

[Big J Okerson]

Hurts so good.

[Robert Kelly]

And he, like, wiggled it around. But then he goes, you know what? Prostate is small, nice and tight.

[Big J Okerson]

Tight, tiny prostate.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, it smells, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

Then he goes, smells like sour. Because it smells like popcorn. Smells like a pocket full of change and some popcorn. Which smell. But I'm back. I got a whole blood work done. I'm all healthy for a week. I was off tea for a week and a half because my PSA went up, which is your ass.

[Announcer]

Your public service.

[Robert Kelly]

Your PSA is your prostate. And if it. When you do testosterone, you could get, you know, prostate cancer. So you have to keep an eye on that. And I got checked, and they had to bring my. My PSAS kept going up when I did the tea, and then I brought it down and I went on. So now I'm back on. It's fine. We're good.

[Big J Okerson]

If it gets down on that prostate.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

They were milking you. Yeah, I was.

[Robert Kelly]

Something weird about.

[Big J Okerson]

I just continue to take testosterone. And I went and did blood work the week before I left, and they said UPS lost it. Yeah, I didn't get any blood work, so. But I'm still taking it.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta go get.

[Big J Okerson]

See if my heart shuts off or whatever.

[Robert Kelly]

No, your heart's not gonna shut off, but you could get.

[Big J Okerson]

Who knows? There's a gathering of Juggalos weekend. Maybe I don't even come back from this thing. What if I just go rogue? What if I go full forest clown?

[Robert Kelly]

We have to come get you. We have to come find you in the woods.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm not coming down from this tree.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

We have some more hair dye down here. What kind? What? Come on, bud. Come on down.

[Robert Kelly]

I have pretzels and cookies.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't get me down till Eagles start Eagles games tomorrow. Bud. What's was that?

[Robert Kelly]

The Eagles?

[Big J Okerson]

Philadelphia Eagles Football. By the way.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, did you tell everyone that you are now in contact with my favorite acapella? Well, individual piano player, singer to have him come on the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Who?

[Big J Okerson]

Who?

[Robert Kelly]

Billy Joe.

[Big J Okerson]

Who are you more excited than anybody? Kelly Clarkson. A musician who plays the piano. It's a guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Kelly Clarkson.

[Big J Okerson]

Kelly Clarkson's a woman still.

[Robert Kelly]

Billy Joel.

[Big J Okerson]

Close.

[Robert Kelly]

Close to Billy Joel.

[Big J Okerson]

It's close to Billy Joel.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, your favorite.

[Big J Okerson]

Who?

[Robert Kelly]

Elton John.

[Big J Okerson]

Not Elton John, but you're actually getting closer.

[Christine]

Wait, can I give a hint?

[Big J Okerson]

You're getting closer with Elton John? Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Big J Okerson]

What? That was the clue that Christine just exploded her tiny tits on her chest.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, of course.

[Big J Okerson]

Because it's just like she just slapped them things down the pancakes.

[Christine]

Those are my tits. My chest.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wow.

[Robert Kelly]

They're very close.

[Big J Okerson]

They're supposed to be. There's supposed to be tits there. Christine, we call you.

[Robert Kelly]

We call your tits chest.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine. You seem a little confused. Yeah, tits are supposed to be there normally.

[Christine]

Is that where tits go?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's where they normally go.

[Robert Kelly]

That's where they, Ariel and the tits go.

[Big J Okerson]

That's where tits normally live.

[Robert Kelly]

Chest titty drums Influencer. Our little savvy.

[Big J Okerson]

Have you heard of the super bowl champions?

[Robert Kelly]

The Eagles? Is he gonna come on?

[Big J Okerson]

Really? From Philadelphia? I went there once.

[Robert Kelly]

Hi. I love it. Where is he from?

[Christine]

He lives in New York. I'm not sure where.

[Big J Okerson]

So yummy. It should be illegal so I say go birds and fly Kick off the super bowl season Co co led an eagle fly fly like a man Throw, throw like a monster as hard as you can Devonte Smith has my heart and a romance can start.

[Robert Kelly]

Tonight Fly, Eagles, fly Cool, cool like an eagle Fly, fly like a man tonight. This is way gayer than Valentine eating my ass.

[Big J Okerson]

What? You've never been more wrong about something.

[Robert Kelly]

In a good way. No, man.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy's straight. Philly ill adelf.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's adorable.

[Big J Okerson]

He's going to be in here. He's gonna be in here before the season. What?

[Announcer]

So what?

[Big J Okerson]

The guy likes to wear a small bathing trunk. So what?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but it's not that. He's drinking a Diet Coke.

[Big J Okerson]

He's drinking a Coors.

[Christine]

Twinks for Coors Light. And it says add Coors, partner.

[Robert Kelly]

Twinks for Coors Light.

[Big J Okerson]

Kid rocking this guy. That's Coors Light, all right. That's the rainbow of sponsorship.

[Robert Kelly]

That's funny.

[Big J Okerson]

Twinks for Coors. Yeah, we got put through. He said to speak to his manager.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa. Who's his manager?

[Big J Okerson]

That girl in the background that goes tonight. Speak to my manager. Barb. Yeah. So he reached out to Barbo Malley. He got back to Christine. So that's good news.

[Robert Kelly]

So he got back to you like phone wise? Did you talk to him?

[Christine]

No, I DM'd him from a couple different accounts and I was trying to find manager information on him, but he sent it to me directly.

[Robert Kelly]

Why did Christine just become an old Jewish woman now? I just. And then he got back to me directly. And then, you know, we're gonna see what happens.

[Big J Okerson]

One of his songs has been purchased. It says what one by a new reality show for a Food network in Hulu.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Let's hear it.

[Big J Okerson]

His new ep, Fork.

[Robert Kelly]

Fork. I like that.

[Big J Okerson]

I want to see this.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's hear it.

[Big J Okerson]

Gotta find out what it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's hear it.

[Big J Okerson]

We already know the guy. Look, I'm not calling him One hit wonder. Everything I've heard so far is golden.

[Robert Kelly]

Everything.

[Big J Okerson]

And listen.

[Robert Kelly]

Everything.

[Big J Okerson]

100 of them. Because even if you don't like the bulk of what he's saying at the end, he's gonna go tonight. Do we have it?

[Christine]

No, I'm not finding Fork. It's directing me to ballad for Costco.

[Robert Kelly]

Could this be a joke?

[Big J Okerson]

He wouldn't. Why he wouldn't do that to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe he's not doing it to you. Maybe do it to them. Dude, stop being such a mark.

[Big J Okerson]

Involved.

[Robert Kelly]

Stop being such a mark, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, speaking of being a mark. I do like it. I started it last night and I liked it. If I was a kid, it would have destroyed me. I would have watched every minute of it and it would have destroyed me. That behind the scenes. Wwe.

[Robert Kelly]

No good.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't. It's a bad idea.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a bad idea.

[Big J Okerson]

It shouldn't be done. It should be.

[Announcer]

Or it should be.

[Big J Okerson]

Like on something that's just not so accessible to every. I don't know. I don't know where you'd put it. I don't know where you put it. As an adult fan of wrestling or that I was a fan of wrestling. I think that what they're going to show is the coolest thing ever. It's ridiculous to do it though.

[Robert Kelly]

They're following. What they're doing is. I think they're following UFC footprints by having some behind the scenes thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't do that. It's your storytelling for adult men.

[Big J Okerson]

One episode.

[Robert Kelly]

And we can't know. I don't want to know.

[Big J Okerson]

1 Episode 1 Episode In Bobby, the American nightmare has cried three or four times.

[Robert Kelly]

No, in real life. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. Cody Rhodes, who says. And by the way, also, you get to hear when he's talking to you calmly and crying, he goes. He goes, I didn't. I thought that I was going to be the.

[Robert Kelly]

How dare you.

[Big J Okerson]

The wrestling champion. It turns out that I didn't know that I would be the faith of the sport one day.

[Robert Kelly]

Dusty Rhodes had a lisp.

[Big J Okerson]

They both had fat tongues.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, listen, man. So doesn't. What's his name?

[Big J Okerson]

I found Cody Rhodes very likable. My point, just being like, what's the wrestling thing? It's like. Then they're saying, like, they do use the real name because the wrestling character is themselves.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the. The actual Nightmare. American Nightmare was. His brother invented the character and he took. He asked his brother if he could take it and use it.

[Big J Okerson]

Who?

[Robert Kelly]

His brother. His brother. His brother's in aew, right?

[Big J Okerson]

There's another one.

[Robert Kelly]

There's another two brothers.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, because the other one's gold dust.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he's gold dust. Oh, his brother was gold dust. He was. He. He did gold dust. He didn't go. Did he do gold dust? He might have did gold dust, too. Yeah, I think he did gold dust. Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no. He has been in the AEW since inception and participated many.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, he. No, seriously, type in all the characters that Cody Rhodes has done. I think he did do it for the WWE for a minute. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. What was it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, there it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Undashing Cody Rhodes. Stardust. That's.

[Robert Kelly]

He was Stardust. He was gold.

[Big J Okerson]

Stardust and gold, but gold dust, they were brothers.

[Robert Kelly]

Fucking best character ever when he faked.

[Big J Okerson]

Tourette's syndrome and went on Howard Stern and committed. That's what I'm almost saying. That guy went on Howard Stern show. His one chance to be on the Howard Stern show, probably, and they bring him on and it's. And it's because he's faking that he had got Tourette's from a match.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he got. No, he got Tourette's from being electrocuted, right? Yeah, he got electrocuted, got Tourette's, and then he would go into the ring and they all. They also. Goldust was androgynous, too. He would come in and do a.

[Big J Okerson]

Lot of gay stuff and it would freak people out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was. It was hilarious.

[Big J Okerson]

Great character.

[Robert Kelly]

Hilarious.

[Big J Okerson]

Married to a animal of a woman.

[Robert Kelly]

Did they show her Terry Runnels?

[Big J Okerson]

No, they don't even got into Gold. I always said we only watched one of the five episodes, but it was, like, interesting to me. But I was like, man, they're really just giving you the whole. These people are active right now. The other one was Rhea Ripley. They're going through her whole thing and just, like, showing her. She's like, I'm actually really bashful and, like, seeing this side of her, I'm like, this is fun to watch for me, but you're. I'd be so upset if I was a kid that was in the wrestling.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you want to. You want to believe. You know, you want to believe that Ria Ripley is this badass, crazy, demonic goth chick that comes out and beats the. Out of. You want to believe that Cody Rhods is the American badass. I don't want to see him cry. I mean, he didn't cry when the Rock beat him up.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, it's really like, yeah, I don't want to. All talking positively about each other, about people who they're like, in current things with and describing the thing. They go. They show him in the room going like, no, I think Royal Rumble because it's seen as last run. Like, let's have him showing the actors. We'll have him win the Rumble because that's more of a scene of thing goes. And then elimination chamber is CM Punk. We get CM Punk back up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

In elimination. They're just going through. They're showing him like, this is weird.

[Robert Kelly]

Can't do it. Can't do it. Shouldn't do it. I. You. It's all. We know it's fake. We know you're athletes. We know it's hard to do wrestling. But you. You need to suspend reality to believe that Cody really won the belt, you know, or that CM Punk is fighting his way back to. To get to the championship versus them.

[Big J Okerson]

Telling you, six months from now, you're going to get the belt from so and so because he's going to win it from this guy in a month. It's very weird.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like it either, man. I agree with you.

[Big J Okerson]

That girl, Terry Reynolds, that was the story. Now rest in peace. New Jack from ECW told us that she was crazy and allegedly said that. Did show us a picture of Digital picture. We said this girl here used to like to get. Allegedly used, like to get the. What do you call the jelly donut.

[Robert Kelly]

What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

Where you come all over her face. And then she wanted to get, like, hit until there was like, blood. She wouldn't have her blood and come on her face.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry, what did you say to me? You said that you come on the face and then.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

I know.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I will do that, but the rest of it I don't do.

[Robert Kelly]

Then you punch them in the face till they bleed.

[Big J Okerson]

He did. He would have a scenario and then.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, relax. Let me just get through this before you get all whipped up.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy's gonna pop. Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, calm down.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, calm down.

[Big J Okerson]

And then he would. Yeah, she'd want to be.

[Robert Kelly]

Just let him get it out. Let him get it. Let him get it. Let's get over friendly fire. Just go.

[Big J Okerson]

You got it on my goddamn forearms.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus, Jacob. What are you having? Celery.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy's like a Bellagio.

[Robert Kelly]

Punch him in the face.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

In Sea Caucus.

[Big J Okerson]

She's gonna be the La Quinta in a Sea Caucus. All right, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

So she punch them and they bleed into the cum. So the cum looks like jelly. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you're talking about the move. The old. The old move. That's the, you know, the. This dirty Sanchez type stuff. The jelly donut was coming. Her face. Buncher in her nosebleeds is the thing. I don't think even new Jack said that's what the move was. He said liked to have come and blood on her face. So he'd come on her face and like, you know, she'd want to get like hit or something. I have to go back and listen to it. But it was pretty wild. He shows a picture was nuts.

[Robert Kelly]

That's such 90s.

[Big J Okerson]

So nice. But she looks pretty cute. I don't think she's with. But maybe she is still with him. Dustin Reynolds? Yeah, Dustin Reynolds.

[Robert Kelly]

Family's royalty. It's just. It's sad that they're showing behind the scenes of all this stuff. Because you're right. Not only kids, but there's guys who really follow the world follows wrestling like it's a sport.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like you're putting this outward, but you're really talking about yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

Only here I'm not a mark, you understand. I enjoy the storytelling of it. I understand it. I don't want to know it. I love magic. I know that illusion is not real, but I don't want you to tell me about it because I want to believe that he made the Statue of Liberty disappear. It's mirrors. Yeah. Dude, what the fuck?

[Big J Okerson]

No. What? I didn't say that.

[Robert Kelly]

You said it's mirrors.

[Big J Okerson]

No, come on.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean, mirrors?

[Big J Okerson]

How do I possibly know if that's true. But that's always what they've said. I remember when he made it disappear on tv and it was like a little, like, chaos kind of around it, right? It didn't, like, go perfect right away, and then it lifted the thing and it wasn't there. And immediately in my life, somebody was like, mirrors? What the fuck does that even mean? He put up. He put up 75,000 gigantic mirrors to angled in a way that it would look, there's nothing there.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, no, it's awesome.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Always something. This is what bothers me about magic. It's always something so simple that you could have figured it out, but you're too stupid because you're trying to think of giant mirrors, but it's just like a little mirror, and the camera's angled at the right spot that it looks like it went away and it didn't, and everybody else is just in on it.

[Big J Okerson]

What was the best dude watching it? When did you commentate any of the Lewis magic at Skank Fest last year?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

That really made me. Tickled me, because he was doing some big, like, some big ticket magic, whatever you call it. And, like, you just. The things would happen. Like, he did it a couple times. He did the sword where he stabbed the card, and it was the right card. And then, like. But, like, not on purpose. Like, as he lowers the sword, he's still doing a thing. You see, like, the fishing line, like, come down on the card. You're like, oh, the card's, like, attached to the sword for sure. I'm like, damn, dude, I thought you nailed it.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah. But he did.

[Big J Okerson]

He did a smart move, though, by telling us to commentate on. He's like, let me kind of do the thing, but also commentate on it. And, like, I just remember when he was like, would I. I'd like to volunteer from the audience as he pulls out the big box, you know, for the girl. He goes, I'd like to volunteer from the audience. And like, a super hot chick at Skank Fest dressed like nobody else at Skank Fest is like, I'll do it. He goes, ma', am, right here. Like, that's convenient.

[Robert Kelly]

She's wearing an amazing, amazing Gomez cape.

[Big J Okerson]

I knew you were gonna do magic, so I dressed like an idiot. Is this the vanishing Statue of Liberty?

[Robert Kelly]

I believe so. It's at night. I don't. I don't remember this. I thought. Oh, I thought this was during the day. Magic is so dramatic. And they're so.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's the thing. It becomes too much performance. And it. To me, it becomes like a fat. Like. I don't know how to describe. It's almost like a concert in some way. It's not as fun as, like, the. To me, I'm. I'm a sucker for the stupidest buddy. The guy. The guy who takes pictures of me when I do a. There's, like, my headshots. Gay porn. No. Out in. In Sacramento. Like, he does up close magic. And he did a thing with me and someone at the club where it was like, you pick a card. You pick a card. So we each picked. We each picked a card. And look like he's like, everyone can see the card. It's no problem except him. He puts him back in the deck, flips the deck all around different ways, and then he goes, now, look, everyone's the right side up except this one right here. And he says it so fast. He goes. He goes, and this is your card, right? So put that in your hand. He has me put it in my hand. And what me and I assume the other person both know is that that was. That was the other person's card. Like, he was calling it my card when it was not mine. It was their card.

[Robert Kelly]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

And then he goes through the whole thing, and he was like. And look at that right there. And he was like, so that card down there is your card, right? And I was like, no, actually, it was like his card. You know, it was his card. And he goes. He goes, you sure? And then, like, when I open it up, like, it wasn't the card he put in my fucking hand to me. And the other card was. Yeah, it was. It was back now it was my card.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

And, like, so that. I like that where you threw me off on purpose.

[Robert Kelly]

And I love it. I love magic.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. There are a bunch of.

[Big J Okerson]

And I don't want to.

[Robert Kelly]

Nerds who never got laid.

[Big J Okerson]

I think he would tell me. I think he would tell me how he did it, but I'd be like, dude, I don't even really want to know. Honestly. Just do it. It's great. I don't know how he possibly did that. I watched the whole thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I love it. I always wanted to be a magician.

[Big J Okerson]

But I don't like. I don't like the magic where it's like, now tie me down to this big, weird table, and this crazy band saw is gonna lower slowly. And will it happen before the. Because I don't think there's no real Danger angel stuff. Yes. I don't you know, like.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, like, I'm gonna walk across a pool while people are in it.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. But I did like. But I did like. But I like 20 minutes of that show every week when it was something like, hey, let me see your cell phone. And take like a beer bottle and go like that. And like, the phones in the beer bottle, they have to break the beer bottle to get their phone. That's awesome. I don't know how he does that. Probably all cametrix.

[Robert Kelly]

I like that. What was that movie, the comedy where Jim Carrey played like the Criss angel and he.

[Big J Okerson]

He was a. Jim Carrey was.

[Robert Kelly]

Jim Carrey played the Criss angel guy. And he would just cut himself. It's like to. Whereas. And then he shot it. He drilled into his head. He goes, I'm going to drill into my head. Been done. And he did it and he just went. He couldn't talk. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. It's Bert. Bert Wonderstone.

[Christine]

I forgot about this movie.

[Big J Okerson]

Funny movie.

[Robert Kelly]

It is a great movie. And the best part is when he goes in the hospital, see the older magician, and he goes and he puts it down and he sees him crawl. The. The smoke didn't last long enough. And they just see him crawling under the bed.

[Big J Okerson]

He's like, I see you play this Jim Carrey.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He's taking a drill and just. Literally just putting it in his head.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Gandolfini.

[Robert Kelly]

Gandolfini was in it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Olivia.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay Moore was in it, too. Jay was a shitty magician. He's. He can't. He can't speak.

[Big J Okerson]

He just lives like that now.

[Announcer]

Today's show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, who do you go to in.

[Big J Okerson]

Order to solve your life's problems?

[Announcer]

Group chat over sharing with a bunch of strangers like a weirdo. There's a difference between that and actually.

[Big J Okerson]

Talking with a therapist.

[Announcer]

That's where BetterHelp comes in. With clinically trained and licensed therapists, they've been around for over a decade. They've helped millions. And out of 1.7 million client reviews, they've got a 4.9 rating.

[Big J Okerson]

That's pretty good.

[Announcer]

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[Big J Okerson]

Provider in the world.

[Announcer]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he's back on the road. Bobby's trying to get on them casino gigs. You know Jay Moore is underrated. That guy should be touring.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you probably got a nice Amy phone call last night. Yeah, Hollywood piece of.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. She probably hasn't heard my cries of I didn't. I didn't mean anything by it.

[Robert Kelly]

So funny. I was telling Colin about was like Jay was just getting Amy's the biggest here. She was. She put us in the law. I was like you. Ah Jesus.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen.

[Christine]

Yeah, he was her dad.

[Robert Kelly]

She's like the CIA.

[Big J Okerson]

Aaron, Ari Shafir got some weird thing and I'm. I'm all for it. That's fine. You guys have a thing. Have a thing. I just have never had an issue with Amy.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't have an issue with Amy at all.

[Big J Okerson]

Not only don't have an issue, she's been quite good to me in many ways.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like when you.

[Big J Okerson]

Lou, can you get my camera please? When she didn't have to. When the cards were down for the big guy and I was feeling a little lost, trapped. I didn't have management, I didn't have agent and I was going nowhere quick. Comedy central said they were actually quote unquote out of the business of big J Okerson. And then Amy Schumer saw something in me. I don't know what it was but it was enough to help me out in my career in ways that shit, I couldn't pay back. Amy Schumer. That's my hero. Thank you, Lou. You were saying? Wrestling, that was beautiful, Jay. Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Beautiful. Not really. You know what?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

She's a beautiful person.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Thank you. She does right by people. By you, me particularly. She has done particularly right by me. She may have done very bad by other people. I don't know. And those aren't my problems. Those aren't my fights to fight.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, she put everybody in her movie, man. It's crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

And still you talk about her like that.

[Robert Kelly]

I haven't talked anything about it. I just don't like the way you kiss ass.

[Big J Okerson]

It's kissing ass to say so. Okay. I'm not a man now because I'm just saying how I feel about somebody. Yeah, that's crazy. That's not a good way to behave.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So you think the whole thing's fun and games? If you do me a favor, Black Lou, please. Now.

[Robert Kelly]

Who are you looking at?

[Big J Okerson]

The girls. I'm looking off. She's a triple threat.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Sing, dance, act, comedy, quadruple threat. Dance, sex, pot, quintuple threat.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

She has reached down, sent the elevator down. A term you use a lot for a lot of people.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Helped out a lot of people.

[Robert Kelly]

She sent the elevator down just for you.

[Big J Okerson]

She came and got me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Made sure I was on that private jet. That was pretty dope.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I made sure I got paid for the mainstage Oddball tour.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Beautiful inside and out. Beautiful. Did you not? Beautiful inside now. Oh, you were leaning in. I'm sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

I was leaning in. I'm just listening.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, buddy?

[Big J Okerson]

Amy's not gonna take you seriously if you keep having gay sex with your phone. Thank you, Black Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

She can. That's not her dancing you. Yes, it is.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you talking about? That's totally her.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not her.

[Announcer]

What do you mean?

[Big J Okerson]

It's.

[Robert Kelly]

That's her. Just pumping her, is she? Oh, wow. She could. Well, Bert Kreischer can dance, I guess.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Amy can dance. Well, there you go.

[Big J Okerson]

No, the jokes. That she's not as good as everybody else, but she's doing fine.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

Don't act like you wouldn't give the.

[Big J Okerson]

Biz to Amy Schumer, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Amy Schumer was a cutie patootie.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you mean was? Why would you say something like that?

[Announcer]

She's still beautiful.

[Big J Okerson]

You son of a bitch.

[Robert Kelly]

Piece of.

[Big J Okerson]

Black Lou, if you wouldn't mind.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't stand. I hate Hollywood. Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

What is beauty. So we're not supposed to clap to challenge classic beauty norms.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I think the girl's beautiful. Blonde hair, blue eyed. Classic Hitler dream.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. What you say what She's Jewish. She's Jewish.

[Big J Okerson]

Well that part is this nightmare.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

She was made to be such a Hitler dream and yet happens to be Jewish.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, that makes sense. I. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Does she get along with her uncle? With the. Those Schumer?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, very much so. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

The guy's belief system, the way he cares about his what Constituents.

[Robert Kelly]

I guess. But what you. You like?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm veering.

[Robert Kelly]

You like him.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't. It's. Does she.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

And I do I off Chuck Schumer. Chuck wins the election. He would be involved in.

[Robert Kelly]

He's. It's not for. He's fine for a little bit. He's in for life.

[Big J Okerson]

But what would the year for life career.

[Robert Kelly]

They're never gonna vote him out until he.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Chuck Schumer till infinity and beyond. Oh wait in this okay at the end I always do a stick tongue out in peace signs.

[Robert Kelly]

God. Can you edit me out of all those videos?

[Big J Okerson]

Lou Schumer's for life. I'm voting for the Schumer Schumer Ticket 2032.

[Robert Kelly]

How funny would be she really just made a huge comeback and she made you her like assistant co star.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll carry your books.

[Robert Kelly]

Books.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me carry your luggage for her.

[Robert Kelly]

She. She made you a co star and I got nothing. I got. Look at.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, because you keep coming at her like that. But me, Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't come. I didn't say anything.

[Big J Okerson]

I remember my bread's buttered.

[Robert Kelly]

I do. You love bread.

[Big J Okerson]

I love buttered bread.

[Robert Kelly]

You do.

[Big J Okerson]

You think I don't remember everywhere my bread's been buttered?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You both. You both love. You both love buttered bread.

[Announcer]

How dare you.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not cool at all.

[Robert Kelly]

Buttered bread. I do, but I don't need it.

[Big J Okerson]

I won't come with that carbohydrate weight shaming. Is this where we're at?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

What year is this? This is what we do now.

[Robert Kelly]

It's 2025. I hate. I hate Hollywood. J. I hate. I want to make it. Jay. Wow. You really want to make it.

[Big J Okerson]

This is crazy.

[Christine]

And I'm here for it.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah, you want to make it. Are you bisexual now?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I'm open to things. I'm pan.

[Robert Kelly]

You. You love pans.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm pan. I'm pansexual. I fuck all my pans because I'm so happy of Them for helping me make food. How do you thank your pans? Words? They don't understand English.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't touch pans.

[Big J Okerson]

They understand physical emotion.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't play with pants.

[Big J Okerson]

You have to express yourself physically with your pants.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't even wash pans. That's how much of a man I am.

[Big J Okerson]

Man. I have to go buy 7,000 things of weed tonight for the gathering of the Juggalos.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you. Now? Let me ask you a question. You fly with them? Mm. It's. No. No big deal. You fly with weed now?

[Big J Okerson]

Well.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, shit in your ass. Nice. Do you need help?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I have help. Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

She dips the bottoms of the other little five packs in butter. In butter.

[Robert Kelly]

And then sticks it in your loaf.

[Big J Okerson]

She just makes a train of these. She just dips it a little bit in butter, and then it's rounded on the side. You see?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So once you're. Once you get over the lip, Jacob and I appreciate you staring so good. Once you get through the lip, you're like, boop. And then it's in. And then you just. Before this part's all the way in, right, you take another one and put it in. And you put it. Remember, like mechanical pencils, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like loading when you. A lever action rifle. You have to put one in halfway and then push the other one in.

[Big J Okerson]

Mechanical pencil. This one will go in? Yeah, almost all the way. And then push that one in. This guy goes in.

[Robert Kelly]

Glass or plastic?

[Big J Okerson]

This one's plastic. This one's glass.

[Robert Kelly]

So is the first one plastic for a reason, but it doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

But if I lose it, I need it to be biodegradable up there.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

And then towards the bottom, I get the glass ones because that kind of opens you up and you get to see better. You can see my dookies, like, two hours before they get anywhere near where they're supposed to be. How much weed up the glass tube?

[Robert Kelly]

How much weed do you smoke at Gathering of the Juggalos, dude? Is it a lot? Is it all day?

[Big J Okerson]

All day. We're Gonna bring in 7, 000 packs of cigarettes and so much weed. And what about food and water?

[Christine]

They have that.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll get water. We have a trailer.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you get a trailer. Oh, that's nice. You guys all sleep in the trailer?

[Big J Okerson]

No. No.

[Robert Kelly]

Where do you sleep?

[Big J Okerson]

Me and Lewis are at a hotel.

[Robert Kelly]

Like a hammock and a tree.

[Big J Okerson]

Me and Louisiana Hotel. I don't know where Zach's at. Butterly G. Mike and Tom Are in an Airbnb.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Like five minutes from the hotel. And I'm doing a lot of. What's it called? Nos.

[Robert Kelly]

What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

The gas, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Fast and the Furious. What made the cars go faster?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

You're doing car juice.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm doing car juice.

[Robert Kelly]

Why are you doing car juice, bro?

[Big J Okerson]

So awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? What does it do to you?

[Big J Okerson]

It makes your brain go.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it like. Is it like the. When I used to do the. The whipped cream.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, that is what it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's it. Yes. My. My. One of my last drugs was that I got. I had a half a bottle of white label scotch, I smoked a bunch of weed. I had three tall Budweisers, and I went into the grocery store to get the whipped cream to do a little knot. What I got. What do they call?

[Announcer]

Whippets.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep.

[Robert Kelly]

And we went in there to do that. And then I wound up stealing the gumball machines and I got arrested.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Because it was so awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, they were trying to steal the gumball machines. They didn't know how to do it, so I just grabbed it, ripped it off, and smashed.

[Big J Okerson]

You were doing the NOS too? Yeah, because that's not really a.

[Robert Kelly]

We would go into the.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not a hype up thing. That's like a minute of complete shutdown.

[Robert Kelly]

We would go in. We would go in, shake it, and then. And then we'd be up in the grocery store.

[Big J Okerson]

But I mean, up where you couldn't. You couldn't steal something that. But you have to like, almost like.

[Announcer]

Sit down like that.

[Big J Okerson]

The idea is it's almost like doing a knockout game.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. We got up and then we were leaving. They were. These idiots were trying to steal. They were like trying to grab the gumball machine. They wanted the money or whatever. What. I know what they were doing. They're like, help us. And I just went over and ripped it off and grabbed it and then smashed it and got the gum and the money. And then we got arrested for gumballs.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you swore off whip it's ever again.

[Robert Kelly]

Last time I ever got that was the last drink. My last drug was a whip. It, I would say is whippets drugs. I don't know. I would say it would be.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen for service.

[Christine]

It kills so many brain cells.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'm only doing it for three days, non stop.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

So bad for you.

[Robert Kelly]

But you're doing like a. You're not doing what I did. I did just whipped cream. You're doing an actual.

[Christine]

Well, you can crack.

[Robert Kelly]

Canister Right.

[Big J Okerson]

So it's the. It's basically a CO2 cancer, I guess what it is. And you get the balloons.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you buy it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have to. Is it like you have to buy it for balloons but do the other thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Like, do you walk in, hey, my kids get a party and get a thing of this and then go.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, at this point. No, at this point you're walking into like a head shop and going like, hey, whatever you guys say those are for, I'll take five of those. It's always like, you know, it's like they sell you. Every pipe in a place is like, you know, tobacco pipe.

[Christine]

Well, the meth pipes are oil, incense.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Like dildos of foot rubs.

[Big J Okerson]

Exactly, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Just look like a. Yeah, don't fit between your toes.

[Big J Okerson]

But I'm gonna do it right this year. I did it wrong all last year.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you put it in your butt.

[Big J Okerson]

I was putting in my butt. Wrong hole. I could always tell you how many times that's happened with drugs with me. Wrong. Hold it.

[Robert Kelly]

That's how you first did coke.

[Big J Okerson]

Supposed to like blow it up and suck in and blow back into the balloon. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you doing?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. So you take it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And you blow out. Yeah. Suck in.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. Why is your head moving up and down?

[Big J Okerson]

Blow out and suck in.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, do you have to move your head up, down like that?

[Big J Okerson]

No, but usually someone else's hands in the back of your head.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you blow up and you suck in.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on one second.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, if you never gone to a concert.

[Robert Kelly]

I've been to concerts. I've never had anybody have to put their hand in the back of my head.

[Big J Okerson]

Cuz you weren't doing nos.

[Robert Kelly]

I.

[Big J Okerson]

But you like this. And then you pull back like that and then you suck some in.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Big J Okerson]

You take it down and then you take your mouth off of it for a while and just like, you know. And hold it in.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, maybe spit it back out a little bit.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna throw up.

[Big J Okerson]

Why? Dude, grow up.

[Christine]

Such a hilarious thing for a 47 year old man to be chewing her jealousy.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Her jealousy's ugly because Christine can't do any kind of drugs at all because she has a broken brain.

[Christine]

I choose not to.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine's got a broken. Christine's got a broken brain.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay. One second. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Are you saying it's silly for a man to drink balloon juice?

[Christine]

They call the people that they call.

[Robert Kelly]

At A festival with grown men dressed like clowns. What are you saying, Christine? What are you saying, Bobby? Are you saying a man drinking balloon juice and having his friend push his head down on it?

[Christine]

You could just smoke weed, man. Have some beers. Like you do not.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, man, I don't know, dude. It sounds like a fun time to go.

[Christine]

That's why I'm not allowed to go.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine's not allowed to. To go.

[Robert Kelly]

Of course she's not.

[Big J Okerson]

She will ruin everything fun.

[Robert Kelly]

She's an adult.

[Big J Okerson]

She'll ruin everything fun.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, she doesn't, you know, I mean, what are you gonna do, bro? You're gonna have a good time.

[Big J Okerson]

You leave her at home and do nos until my brain freezes.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't. Can you, can you. Can you get hurt by this?

[Big J Okerson]

Probably, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you doing, dude?

[Big J Okerson]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Don't do this. Don't do nas.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I think if you have like a long problem with it, you will do lots of damage.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, right. But you can't do it this weekend for three days and be up. No. That'd be hilarious if you came back.

[Big J Okerson]

And you brains frozen.

[Robert Kelly]

No, just your speech was. You talk like Cody Rhodes. As soon I'm going to the tell you what bonfire, you call us up at 969-10-340-5536m fact and talk. My name's Big D Okerson. I'm never going. I'm never going to the gathering the devils again.

[Announcer]

Those clowns don't mess up my whole life.

[Big J Okerson]

Here you go.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

These are possible things with frequent or bronq use.

[Robert Kelly]

You're doing a lot of stuff too.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you got other things going on. We got the, the peptides, you got the tea, you got the, the, the.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, no blood work, the juice.

[Robert Kelly]

No blood work. And then you're gonna go and smoke.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you live on the edge at this point? 48, man. I'm gonna drop out at some point.

[Robert Kelly]

Please don't drop out. I don't. We don't want you to drop out.

[Announcer]

I'll get to the contract.

[Robert Kelly]

Why do you keep making him older, by the way?

[Big J Okerson]

Just keep making me older.

[Robert Kelly]

And that was 40. He was 47 a second ago.

[Big J Okerson]

He's still 47.

[Christine]

I'm saying I don't want to die at 49.

[Robert Kelly]

So in two years you want to die 50. No.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, get to the 50s. That's when my. That's when all my stocks mature.

[Christine]

I want you to be like an 85 year old still chain smoking, you.

[Robert Kelly]

Know, fast Rebecca would move to the east coast, and those two witch lesbians would be in that pool. They get a Jersey comedy club going like that.

[Big J Okerson]

I let Christine buy the house for me. Frequent and chronic use of it can lead to serious neurological problems, including spinal cord and brain damage.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Jesus, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

It can inactivate vitamin B12, disrupting myelin sheath maintenance. It can result in peripheral neuropathy.

[Announcer]

Neuropathy?

[Robert Kelly]

That's not good.

[Announcer]

Demyelination.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not good either.

[Big J Okerson]

In the brain and spinal cord gait disturbances.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine. I can't see.

[Announcer]

Paresthesia.

[Robert Kelly]

What's a gate disturbance? You walk shorter.

[Big J Okerson]

Cognitive impairment.

[Robert Kelly]

What is that?

[Big J Okerson]

Your brain separates from your spinal cord. Yeah.

[Christine]

Myelin is the protective coating around the nerves.

[Big J Okerson]

What's wrong?

[Christine]

Yeah, what's wrong?

[Big J Okerson]

You can't read. English.

[Robert Kelly]

Is wrong with you? Dude, what are you doing?

[Big J Okerson]

What are you doing? Nos gas. You can't read.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Christine]

This is why people walk all up, waddling around.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna walk like John Cena now.

[Big J Okerson]

All right? It can lead to alterations in your NMDA receptor function, affecting emotions and potentially causing disassociative experiences. Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

It also disrupts vibe, but it's. It's in flavors. It disrupts vitamin B12 metabolism, increasing homocysteine levels. That explains a lot of what happened last year, damaging neurons and impacting cognitive and emotional processing. I don't want to process my emotions. That's good.

[Christine]

Do you want to be able to use your hand? Do you want your brain to be able to signal to use your hands correctly?

[Big J Okerson]

I can't do anything with my left hand anyway.

[Robert Kelly]

Why?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. Maybe nos, but I think it's because I'm just not left handed. I'm terrible with it. Want to see me throw something with it?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, throw the chips at me. Oh, my God. The only word that comes out of my brain is sissy.

[Christine]

You should flex and have Bobby feel it.

[Robert Kelly]

It.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't flex it. I can't flex my arm.

[Robert Kelly]

Flex your left arm.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know how.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude. That's what.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know how to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Nobody.

[Big J Okerson]

My right arm is.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at me. Look at this. Look.

[Big J Okerson]

I know.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at. Watch. That's. That's the right. Right. Take. Take this. Look it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Close your fist.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, buddy? I understand the thing. It's not.

[Robert Kelly]

Stop making it like, a little like a Muppet.

[Big J Okerson]

Like bowser.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Stop. Look it. Do the fist first. Do this straight. Fist it. Fist it now. Just don't turn everything's tense. Don't turn the rest now.

[Announcer]

I've tensed everything up.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. Right there. Now make it. There you go.

[Big J Okerson]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. And you're gonna go do nas with a bunch of clowns this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'm trying to even out.

[Christine]

You're gonna lose your right arm.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, hang on. It's not done yet.

[Robert Kelly]

We'll have to make you and Keith perform together.

[Big J Okerson]

They say. They say that you should not inhale nitrous oxide.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, they have serious adverse effects. Including death.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Or Ms. Yeah, dude, if you get ms, it's gonna suck.

[Big J Okerson]

Sucks. This wouldn't be Christine's first dance with taking care of an Ms. Patient.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Christine]

Give yourself Ms. That'll be fun.

[Big J Okerson]

Like father, like daughter, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that'd be hilarious. That'd be a funny little prank on her to make you have to take care of you for the next 10 years.

[Christine]

Had kids taking care of some man.

[Robert Kelly]

We get a text every day around 4 o'. Clock. Jay's gonna be late. The wheelchair didn't make it up.

[Big J Okerson]

Steering a wheelchair at my face.

[Christine]

Right arm now.

[Big J Okerson]

Non verbal. No. Can't make any money.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna miss you guys. I'm gonna be away.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. We're gonna have guest hosts next week. Next week with me coming in here, studio with me. And then we're gonna be off for a week.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

In September 2nd. We return the show full strength.

[Robert Kelly]

Full strength.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby's back. Howard Stern's first day back also. You think people are gonna want to talk and listen to that? Everyone wants to know what's going on.

[Announcer]

I'll be the Juggalos this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby's doing Comedy to Carlson October 10th and 11th month.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, Jay. If he makes it back.

[Big J Okerson]

If I make it back.

[Robert Kelly]

If he makes it back this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll live stream again. If my nos gas doesn't take that, doesn't take my broadcasting part of my brain away.

[Robert Kelly]

Today's gonna be the stress factory. So check it out.

[Christine]

To be fair, there's some good things too.

[Robert Kelly]

No, there isn't.

[Christine]

Euphoria and relaxation.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Altered perception.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Christine]

Pain reliefation and pain relief.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine's gonna get nause and do it by herself in the house.

[Christine]

I'm walking on sunshine.

[Robert Kelly]

We'll see you guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

We'll see you guys next week. I won't, but Jay will. Crackle, crackle. A real Etsy buyer review for handmade home decor by a real Etsy seller.

[Big J Okerson]

They are truly beautiful to look at and absolutely original.

[Robert Kelly]

Discover pieces created and loved by real people.

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