Human Resources Face

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly – "Human Resources Face"

Date: April 9, 2026
Platform: SiriusXM Faction Talk
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire is a classic demonstration of Jay and Bobby’s raw, hilarious, and unscripted banter as they riff on everything from nostalgia in pop culture to the comedy world, celebrity gossip, and the quirks of showbiz. Ranging from 80s movies and actors who "fell off," to wild speculation about HR at SiriusXM, the episode is packed with the duo’s trademark irreverence and playful roasting of each other and their crew. There’s a spontaneous feel as they loop in their production team, reference friends in comedy, and react in real-time to social media and tabloid news.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nostalgia, Downfalls, and Celebrity Deep-Dives

• Bands & Celebs who "Should've Died in Their Prime"
  • Vince Neil and bands past their heyday (01:03–01:42)
    • Jay: “He should have died."
    • Bobby: “Vince Neil should have croak."
  • The sad sight of aging rock stars playing lounge gigs.
• Ford Fairlane and Lauren Holly’s Rom-Com Legacy (01:42–03:10)
  • The guys reminisce about the cult film and Lauren Holly's brief leading lady status.
• Actors Who "Fell Off"
  • Tawny Kitaen, Juliette Lewis, and the brutal business of aging as a woman in Hollywood (03:10–04:14).
• New Westerns & Peter Dinklage in "The Thicket"
  • Amused at Dinklage as a western antihero:
    • Bobby: “It's the only little guy cool movie – you can do a spin kick or something, you know?”
• The “Ugly Hot” Transformation
  • Matthew McConaughey, Juliette Lewis, and how getting "weirder-looking" upped their acting game (04:19–04:36).

2. Celebrity Gossip and Trash Talk

• Taryn Manning & Viral Meltdown
  • Discussion of her career, personal troubles, and recent video drama (05:49–08:10).
  • Commentary on media coverage, appearance ("no teeth sound"), and career arc.
• Brittany Murphy Death Theories (08:11–10:34)
  • Speculation on drug addiction, mysterious death, and odd love interests.
    • Bobby: “I think her husband killed her.”
    • Jay: “It’s a popular, albeit unproven speculation.”
• Analyzing “8 Mile” as a "Weird Love Story" (08:29–09:24)
  • Their take on the absurd romance and “urban love story” tropes.

3. Movie Logic and Makeover Narratives

• Clueless & Legally Blonde:
  • Bobby feigns ignorance, Jay calls him out, and they dissect 90s “makeover” message and cultural standards (10:42–14:41).
    • Jay: “The message of the movie is change the way you look and people will accept you. Also, I'm gonna go suck my stepbrother.”
    • Bobby’s insistent, “she was frumpy or fat,” Jay’s retort: “She dressed frumpy.”
• Brutally Honest Commentary on Women’s Appearance
  • Discussion shifts to how actresses were made to look bad then “suddenly hot.”

4. Comedy World & Behind-the-Scenes Crew Antics

• Gas Digital Staff Commentary:
  • The concept of "Louis J. Gomez auditing the production crew" and their fantasy "retreat" (30:02–31:55).
    • Jay: “If I look over and see Jacob frowning… we have to have Louis... audit the crew.”
  • Delighting in the prospect of Louis bullying the crew, joking about HR’s presence.
    • Bobby: “I never forget we have HR because of Jacob's face. His HR Tapping fingers.”
• Crew Hierarchies & Stockholm Syndrome Jokes (34:06–37:43)
  • “Paco” as a loyal, possibly-abused staff member—jokes about “crates” and cultish loyalty to Louis.
    • Jay: “Paco would try... He'd push you off a building if Lewis said...”

5. Pop Culture, Viral Videos & YouTube Data

• Wits Studios’ Content “Theft”
  • Jay and Bobby poke fun at YouTube channels taking old clips, gaming subscriber counts (38:03–41:16).
    • Jay: “It's just two, two days to get 655,000... It's a wild move.”
    • Proposes buying views: “Let’s get 10 million. Mr. Beast can suck it.”
• Byron Allen’s Media Empire (41:16–44:07)
  • Speculation about his industry prowess, owning comedy legends’ tapes.
  • The classic late-night press junkets and TV's "dead zone" strategy.

6. Relationship Roasts & Snack Envy

• Jay’s Frito Betrayal (45:01–46:59)
  • Christine, Jay’s partner, eats his coveted Fritos during the break; Jay and Bobby roast the “relationship crime.”
    • Jay: “All that was left was the napkin that's fucking got Frito grease all over it…”

7. Bob Barker and “Shocking” Revelations

• Allegations About Bob Barker (47:41–52:07)
  • The hosts react to rumors of Barker’s racism and sexual misconduct; play clips showing his odd behavior toward black contestants.
    • Jay: “Make sure you spay and neuter your dogs and slaves…” (Satirical, riffing off old TV).
    • Bobby: “When a contestant [was Black] they put a B next to the card.”
  • They find humor in the strange revelations and joke about the Price Is Right’s behind-the-scenes scandals.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On old rock stars:
  • Jay (01:03): "He should have died."
  • Bobby (01:15): "Vince Neil should have croak."
• On movie makeovers:
  • Jay (12:29): "The message of the movie is change the way you look and people will accept you. Also, I'm gonna go suck my stepbrother."
• On eight mile's romance:
  • Jay (09:24): "At the end, when they're all celebrating him winning, he just gives her the finger...what you just watched, he thought it was his girlfriend, she was getting gang banged."
• On famous deaths:
  • Bobby (10:01): "Oh, they're both murdered. Why? Maybe both murdered... They were on to the Clintons."
• Crew commentary:
  • Jay (34:30): “He’d push you off a fucking building if Lewis said…I really need this done.”
  • Bobby (34:38): “He would kill me 100% He would push me off a building.”
• On Byron Allen:
  • Jay (44:07): “He's a transition robot.”
• On Frito betrayal:
  • Jay (45:01): "All that was left was the napkin that's fucking got Frito grease all over it..."
• On Bob Barker rumors:
  • Bobby (48:48): "He did not like black people to the point where he didn't want to be touched by them."
  • Jay (49:36): “Make sure you spay and neuter your dogs and slaves.” (Satirical routine)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Reminiscing about aging rock stars: 01:03–02:09
• Movie deep-dives and romantic comedy leads: 02:09–05:31
• Hollywood troubles, death rumors: 06:00–15:52
• Comedy crew culture & talk of HR: 30:02–36:04
• Content theft, YouTube culture: 38:03–41:16
• Byron Allen’s legacy & press junkets: 41:16–44:07
• Fritos and relationship roast: 45:01–46:59
• Bob Barker racism accusations discussed: 47:41–52:07

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Tone and Style

True to The Bonfire’s spirit, the hosts wield sarcasm, honest jabs, and wild speculation with wild abandon. Their language is brash, but not mean-spirited—more like old friends trying to one-up each other with each new riff. They involve their crew, giggle at each other’s expense, and move seamlessly from serious accusations to comically exaggerated hypotheticals.

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Summary

This episode encapsulates the unique energy of The Bonfire, blending comedic nostalgia, showbiz hot takes, crew inside jokes, and candid relationship banter. Highlights include vivid 80s/90s pop-culture dissections, a running gag about staff HR “faces,” tangents on YouTube media games, and the gleeful deconstruction of showbiz legends. For fans—new or old—it’s a showcase of why Jay and Bobby are master riffers, deftly turning any topic into shared laughter.

Transcript

[A]

I have great news. Malcolm in the Middle is back. My life is fantastic now in a four part event. All I had to do is stay completely away from my family. Your biggest problem is that we exist. Everyone's invited to the can't miss reunion of the year.

[B]

This family's behavior is toxic to me.

[A]

We'll just take turns fighting and creating disasters. That's what families do. Malcolm in the Middle Life's still unfair premieres Friday, April 10th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. For bundle subscribers, terms apply.

[B]

Behind every health care statistic is a

[A]

person's face paying the price. Big Pharma just increased the prices of 350 drugs. Hospital monopolies are marking up procedures by 300%.

[B]

The drug companies and hospitals set health

[A]

care prices and they're too high.

[B]

America's health insurers are on the side of people working hard to negotiate costs

[A]

down and make healthcare work better for everyone.

[B]

We see more than numbers. We see you. And now the bonfire with Big J

[A]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. This is another band that. He should have died.

[B]

Oh, Vince Neil should have croak.

[A]

I saw them twice in concert and they blew my dick off.

[B]

Oh, you saw him at the prime though.

[A]

And then I saw him when I was doing Roadhouse comics. Roadhouse in the elevator. He was just next to me, fat. I was like, guy looks like Vince Neil. I was like, no. And then he was playing the lounge in the middle.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, the Wolf with his band.

[B]

Yeah, like the Vince Neil.

[A]

Yeah, the Vince Knee. It was the Vince Neil in the middle of the slots.

[B]

Damn, dude. He was the guy who gets killed right in the beginning of Ford Fairlane. Yeah, he was still pretty cool there. Bobby. Fuck. Oh, I want to get this. He killed Bobby something. What the was his name? I want to say Bobby Briggs. It's not that. Bobby Black. I knew his alliteration. Bobby Black. God, I love that movie.

[A]

Ford Fair was so good.

[B]

It's hilarious.

[A]

It's so good when he's falling off the bill. My hair, my hair.

[B]

Everyone else is screaming, my hair, my hair, my hair.

[A]

He worked in a his impression of Travolta.

[B]

Oh, it's great.

[A]

And that girl was adorably cute. The little wide eyed. What was her name? What was it? Dumb names.

[B]

Oh, Jazz was his assistant.

[A]

Jazz was Lauren. Holly was one of the hottest rom com chicks for a minute under the.

[B]

Oh yeah, rom com chicks in that show particularly. She was a different kind of look.

[A]

Look at that.

[B]

She had that crazy hair, but she

[A]

was good in dumb and Dumber, too. She was hot, of course. Yeah, that. Look at her.

[B]

She was sexy here.

[A]

And she was not supposed to be the sexy one. She was supposed to be the secretary of the assistant. Right.

[B]

Zuzu Petals now, by the way, I think there's a lot of serious acting.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Like, she's like a. Like a victim on svu. Type actress.

[A]

Oh, no, one of those.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or one of the friends of the girls. But she's very rarely, like, a main person. But she still acts, do, you know, Fell off.

[A]

Who was cute as shit and then fell off a cliff?

[B]

Tony Kitane.

[A]

But it did the. It. She's such a good actress. Now is the girl from Cape Fear, Julia Lewis. I mean, fell off looks wise. She was just in a movie I watched last night with the little midget guy there. What's his name?

[B]

Dink?

[A]

Yes. It's called the Thicket. It was a western, and he played. It's so funny because he just plays a badass, which is hilarious to me because, you know, It's. It's the 1800s. They would just fucking drag him behind a horse. You know what I mean? But he's like, you don't want to do that. And he. He's like. He goes, put a little dress on. He's like, you don't want to do. And he's just so. He's so badass as a little guy, but then he just stabs him in the dick. You know what I mean? This is like his move just grabbed your dick or stabs you in the dick. It's the only little guy cool movie so you can do a spin kick or something, you know? But she was in that. The Thicket. And she looks like. But is so good as like, in that role.

[B]

But like, she was cute. Always, like, in, like, Dust till Dawn. Yep, she's very cute.

[A]

Sometimes actors. Actors and act like Matthew. Matthew McConaughey. McConaughey got ugly and became a good actor.

[B]

He was a pretty good actor.

[A]

He was all right, but he became way better when he became ugly or strange. Looking at this.

[B]

Yeah, she's.

[A]

She's haggard, dude. But you should hear a talk. If there's a video of her talking, it's. She is disgusting. Yeah, that's it. That's exactly it.

[B]

You're watching to be originals, Bobby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's where black filmmakers go to get their shit out.

[A]

It's hard to find a good west like a new Western. That's good. This one was good.

[B]

You liked it?

[A]

I loved it. It was just. It's hard to like. This scene is the hard scene to buy because he has to.

[B]

He's kicking a little ass.

[A]

He's kicking little ass.

[B]

He's kicking big ass with his little fists.

[A]

You know who's. Go back to that scene. That was Hetfield. Hetfield's in it.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, Hetfield plays one of that guy's soldiers. Hetfield plays like a cool dude.

[B]

Is that him right there?

[A]

No, go back to the scene with the little guy. Right. That's hit in the background. That's Hetfield. Yeah. You don't even know it's him either. He's actually pretty good in it. He's. He's had field connect.

[B]

They go a bit hard in that. It's your turn. Would you like to call or fold?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it. That's her. She's gross. Gross.

[B]

Yeah. She's so gross.

[A]

She's so gross.

[B]

Very cute. Do you know? Got grotesque and I guess she's going through some. Did you know Taryn Manning is.

[A]

No. Who's doing Tara Manning?

[B]

Taryn Manning was Eminem's. She was. Look at a lot of stuff she's in. But she was Eminem's ex girlfriend in 8 mile, the one he had.

[A]

Yeah, I thought that was.

[B]

She was also. I believe she was on one of the planes that got ground or something. Or she was. Or she was late. She was. Another one was like late for a flight and didn't. Oh, no, she was on the plane. She was on the JetBlue plane where the. The wheel. Wheel wouldn't come out.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

And then they had to land and just crash land, basically. Yeah, she was on that plane. But she's a lesbian, I guess. And there's video recently of her. TMZ got video of her like beating the. I guess out of her girlfriend. But then a thing came out of her today and you see her and she's like. All these side of her teeth are just like black little like pieces of tooth. And she's like, you guys had the story wrong. She's kicking my ass. It's pretty whack. We gotta dig into this here's terrorizing girlfriend. I hope so. Mistplay. I like that.

[A]

How great are ads now everybody's involved.

[B]

Oh, black people living next to white people in affluent neighborhoods. I never thought I'd see the day. The Huxtables is real. That's what they show you, though. Even if a doctor and a lawyer couple, a black couple live next to you in your house, the husband's still a rapist Oh, I thought they were just an affluent, beautiful black couple, well adjusted kids. No, no, no. Dad's a rapist.

[A]

But he does rape like a doctor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he does rape in a very doctorly way.

[A]

He did rap. Very professional.

[B]

He is a professional.

[A]

You going to count down from 10 for me real quick?

[B]

Okay. Is her terrorizing her girlfriend?

[A]

Stop. I love that they have podcast studio equipment in the background. Everybody and their mother is doing a podcast.

[B]

Why does this chick need a podcast?

[A]

God damn it.

[B]

We got to find out. The girl. Maybe the girlfriend's a big podcaster. What if it's call her daddy? She has that no teeth sound. She's talking and you can hear the. When you see her, you're going to be like. And by the way, it wasn't that she was ever like a smoke show, but she was like, cute. Yeah, she was supposed to be like a cute dirt ball. It was like the girl that Eminem would fuck in 8 mile.

[A]

I thought it was. It's not the girl that Eminem hooked up with.

[B]

Not Brittany Murphy.

[A]

Brittany Murphy. She's dead.

[B]

She's dead.

[A]

She's died. She died mysteriously, too.

[B]

Just drugs, I think.

[A]

I think if you want to throw it around, yeah. Her husband killed her.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

That's the rumor.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, There was a documentary about it.

[B]

Watch. Fucked Eminem. And that black guy in the movie. Mm, yeah, he died like after.

[A]

Right after her.

[B]

That was, by the way, the most strange. Yeah. 8 mile was like a strange love story between these two kind of fighting each other. And like, anything. And then he just goes to a radio studio one day and she's just getting the tag teamed by the other guys and. And then he's, like, pissed about it. They fight about it. And then he sees her later and he's like, ah, it is what it is. I mean, that the love story had nothing to do with the movie whatsoever at all. She's like, I'm you. Oh, yeah. But I'm also like a. Like, I'm everybody. But you're. But you're a good rapper, Jay.

[A]

You don't know. Urban love.

[B]

I guess not.

[A]

That's Urban Love Story. They just kind of like immediately fuck in the factory.

[B]

No, I know, but you start. You start like, talking to each other and she's like, I believe in you. And they started to make it like that. Like, yeah, she was inspiring him to, like, kind of be like, believe in yourself, man. So. And then he's just like, oh, no, I'm just like some slob pig from Detroit. I'm fucking sucking. I'm fucking and sucking everybody, you know.

[A]

Of course. What do you think, it's the 50s in Detroit?

[B]

Yeah, it was like his enemies. She was like fucking his friends and enemies. And then at the end, at the end, when they're all celebrating him winning, he just gives her the finger. He's like, you and she's like you too. And he's like, bygones. Bygones. What you just watched, he thought it was his girlfriend. She was getting gang banged.

[A]

Yeah, they had to. They had to make him as white as possible. And that would be a white guy thing.

[B]

Yeah, she's addiction to prescription meds. That's what it was. It was pneumonia, but you know, allegedly.

[A]

Yeah, but she might have the same thing. She might have got.

[B]

The husband died of the same exact thing.

[A]

She might have been murdered.

[B]

And then he killed himself.

[A]

And then he was murdered.

[B]

Oh, they're both murdered. Why?

[A]

Maybe both murdered.

[B]

Why? Because they figured out fission or some nuclear fission.

[A]

Yeah, they were on to the Clintons.

[B]

It's a popular, albeit unproven speculation. Gained traction because of her death and his death five months later. With many friends, family, online, theorists point to his manipulative behavior, shady past and control over her. Law enforcement never charged him or considered

[A]

him a suspect or a death because they're lazy.

[B]

The corner rule. His death was due to the exact same causes as hers. The theory, did he kill her? Probably not, no.

[A]

I can't believe she's died. She's been dead since 2009. Yeah, she got hot too. She got like thin. Remember she was the fat girl and she was the little fat.

[B]

She was tying Clueless, by the way,

[A]

talk to me like I'm supposed to know the casting.

[B]

By the way, super cute in Clueless. And again, that is a times changing because she was supposed. That was supposed to be a thing. She was a little pudgy and stuff. She wasn't pudgy at is Clueless the

[A]

one where she went to law school? No, that's totally blonde.

[B]

Hang on. Christine. Bobby just tried to do a thing so his cigar buddies don't think he's gay. You know exactly which one Clueless is?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I've never sat and watched Clueless from front to back ever once in my life. I know everything about Clueless.

[A]

First of all, Jay, I don't know what Clueless is, man. I'm clueless.

[B]

I watch mess. I watch westerns, buddy.

[A]

I watch. I watch as many westerns as I can.

[B]

And you know, you Also know the name of the one where she goes to law school.

[A]

What is it? What's the name? What is it?

[B]

You know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You do, though.

[A]

Blue Note.

[B]

Play this game if you want.

[A]

I. I don't know the name.

[B]

What's the name, by the way? That's. She's not fat at all.

[A]

She's fat. She's the ugly one. No, she's. They made her look good. Yeah. This is after the makeover.

[B]

No, I understand.

[A]

I do know the plot.

[B]

She's not fat.

[A]

How dare you. I know the plot.

[B]

Yeah. Look who's falling the piece off. Oh, that's it. Keep. Let's keep saying wrong things about clues and have Bobby explode with information. He goes, yeah, he goes. And then they had the guy. The guy. They have Corey Glover in there. He goes, no, that's not who it is.

[A]

I really did shoot out information quickly.

[B]

No, that's after her makeover, when they decided they were going to take her and make her hot.

[A]

But when, when they first. When she was first in the movie, she was ugly, right?

[B]

She's not ugly.

[A]

She was.

[B]

She was a quirky.

[A]

She's grungy and chubby and yucky at

[B]

the beginning, and then she's never chubby.

[A]

The hot girls bring her into the j. The hot girls bring her into a group and they make her. They give her a makeover and then she becomes hot. But at the beginning of the movie, she was smelly and grungy.

[B]

The whole movie has a terrible message.

[A]

There she is at the beginning of the movie.

[B]

Go back to that.

[A]

Click on that.

[B]

The message of the movie is change the way you look and people will accept you. Also, I'm gonna go suck my stepbrother. That's the resolution. No, they realized that they shouldn't have

[A]

tried to change her. And she was fine the way she was.

[B]

And then she tried to sucking her stepbrother.

[A]

She did. And it was her ex stepbrother.

[B]

It's pornography.

[A]

Can you have an ex stepbrother?

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Well, he does say you divorce wives, not children in the movie.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. That's your stepbrother for life.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's not her brother. It's a stepbrother. It was Paul Rudd. Listen,

[B]

step brother Paul Rudd.

[A]

Was. Was Paul gonna. Her.

[B]

They're gonna. At the movie, the end of the movie, they decide they're gonna. And you watch them make out a bunch. It's crazy. It's a crazy man. It's what pornography is now. That's all the pornography Stepbrother comes home and fuck stepsister.

[A]

Start with Clueless. That is one of my favorite.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you could really fucking drop a batch to Clueless, my man.

[A]

I might.

[B]

And then Legally Blonde, God knows what will happen to your.

[A]

Is that the name of it? Legally.

[B]

You know it is.

[A]

I do not. I don't. No, I do not. I did not know that name.

[B]

You also didn't know the plot for clues until we showed it to you and you had to fix it for us.

[A]

Now, Legally Blonde, she does have money, but she's just. She's clueless. That's why I probably mix them up, because she's dumb.

[B]

Look how not fat this chick is.

[A]

Look at. Look how.

[B]

No, no, go back.

[A]

No, no, go back to the one Christine had right there. Look at the one on the left.

[B]

They put a big shirt on her.

[A]

Yeah. The one on the left is at Skank Fest. The one on the right is at Nashville Comedy Festival.

[B]

They put a big shirt on her. Go to the. How she looked when they're doing the. Trying on the clothes with her.

[A]

I'm not saying in life at that time, she might, but do. After the make, after the. This whole thing, you got to see

[B]

the half top she's wearing. She's skinny.

[A]

After they give her this makeover. But what do you think?

[B]

They sucked her body down.

[A]

They made her look fat with all the flannels and. Yes, that's my point. I'm not saying in life, she's not fat. I'm saying in the movie, she just frumpy.

[B]

She. Well, she dressed frumpy.

[A]

Frumpy or fat, whatever you want to call it, just because you have fat issues and you have levels, you have fat issues. All right, I do. You have to say it like that. It's so funny. We can't attack each other on fat things.

[B]

You got fetishes, too.

[A]

It took you a second. You looked up, you went, ah, what the.

[B]

Oh, bring the Taryn Manning stuff.

[A]

No, she is. I. She's not fat in life, but in the movie, she was kind of gross.

[B]

They put. Well, they made her gross.

[A]

They made it look gross.

[B]

But then also, by the way, she carved herself up and just actually got substantially hotter.

[A]

But my. My point. Later in life, she got titties.

[B]

No, I'm saying she.

[A]

She. Later in life, she became, like a hot woman.

[B]

It was always. But heard the. The natural thing of her face. She always looked, like, cruddy. You know? I mean, like, that's the thing. That's why she was good in in eight miles. She's like, yeah. Oh, what a cute chick, but probably is gonna suck. And all of your friends and enemies.

[A]

Yeah, she always had that look like she lived in, like, a. Like some ocean town where bands made it.

[B]

Hey, you want to date me? Seriously? But I'm gonna. All your friends and enemies.

[A]

Yeah. Like, that's towards the end of it.

[B]

Nice vagina.

[A]

Yeah, that's like a chick. You could get it like Asbury Park.

[B]

She didn't even get her titties done.

[A]

Actually, I think she might have got her titties.

[B]

I don't think so. I mean, maybe she gotta make shape, but she doesn't have bigger titties. Really? She's pretty regular. Titties.

[A]

Yeah, she's.

[B]

But she got hot.

[A]

Yeah, she did. She was. She was popping a little bit when she died. Am I correct?

[B]

Yeah. Popping pills.

[A]

Yeah. Big gash. And her husband is disgusting, by the way. It's wild.

[B]

Well, yeah, One of the reasons. Yeah, he's a carcass now.

[A]

One of the reasons why they thought there was some nefarious. Yes, I do like using that word. Nefarious stuff. Good word. Thank you. Is that he was not like, why is she with this guy? Yeah, look at that.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, right? That's why. They were like, why is she. Murphy. Yep. That was her husband.

[B]

And he is a bazillionaire or something, though.

[A]

I don't think so. I think his. Her money was.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It sounds like he just had the drugs. He looks like he should have a podcast about sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

[B]

Sydney Sweeney's ex boyfriend. That was the same thing.

[A]

Thanks, Paco, for the old Ralph reference. He looks like Ralph.

[B]

He did, yeah. You can't believe this guy.

[A]

That doesn't look like Ralph. That's the guy who played Ralph in the documentary.

[B]

We know what happens to him. It's like, whatchamac. Who's the one I met on that birthday? Amy Smart. Amy Smart's like, with a guy who is like. Is the. It looks like the guy. You're like, oh, this is like a handsome guy. And then it's like all of the. He's got so many allegations against him. And, like, I looked him up immediately and it was like, allegations and cheating scandals and all kinds of.

[A]

I guess he was hot. Is that him?

[B]

And if you look him up. Look up. Just look up his, like, accusations.

[A]

But this, he's like a. Was he from Carter? Can.

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

What is that? It's like H.G. yeah. HGTV yeah.

[B]

Yeah. He's got a lot of things against him. Wow.

[A]

It's funny, though. There are a lot of, like, actresses that are smoking hot that wind up with these schedules that you're like, a

[B]

lot of it's waiting out. Because the interesting thing is, like, you'd be hard press to find anybody. And I think I'd feel the same way, kind of. Anybody who I went to school with, girls that were like the hot girls in school, that their husbands would be like leaps and bounds. Like. Like, you know, I mean, people don't have, like, male pattern balding or just guys that you'd be like, no way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I bet that's a lot. Like, if you go back and look at that, like, you'll be far more attractive than most of the husbands of the girls that you fawned over in high school.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm probably more attractive than all these dumpy chicks, too. A lot of them got dumpy.

[B]

No, for sure.

[A]

But yeah.

[B]

I'm just saying that's like an interesting thing to see. It's like at some point in their life, they stopped fucking the quarterback and whatever, and they started fucking, like, a guy who has a good job financing. And then it became a guy. It's like this guy's just honest and he comes home every night, right? Yeah. And it's like. I know, I know he's got adult onset acne, but he comes home every single night and he is what it is. I'm sure he's a little overweight.

[A]

He doesn't try to get me to blow his friends.

[B]

He doesn't try to make me blow his friends ever. He's never tried that once.

[A]

Yeah, that's when I knew Dom was the one. When I didn't want her to blow anybody in front of me. I think I like this one. I think this one.

[B]

Don't blow someone in front of me. I never said that before.

[A]

I've never. I've never. I've never asked you to.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

In front of me.

[B]

I've never said that before.

[A]

I think I love you. Amy Smart's husband HTV Start Osmond accused of sexual misconduct. What is misconduct?

[B]

It means he wanted makeup in a different spot. He goes, well, look, I don't want it to be shiny on camera. Why don't you put a little foundation on this guy down here? That's what I would do. He coerced her in performing repeated oral sex acts during the show's production. Now, suck it.

[A]

Can you force it like when you look at. I'm not taking anybody's side who sexually has misconduct.

[B]

Go on.

[A]

But when. Now you. When I say force, speak freely and

[B]

don't even think about what you're going to say.

[A]

Are you recording this?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'm saying swing for the fucking. Sexual misconduct in any form is wrong.

[B]

Put this over the Green monster.

[A]

But I'm saying, how do you force somebody repeatedly to give you a blowjob?

[B]

The forcing I have to assume is going to be like with threats and things, because I absolutely, in my mind, I can't think of a way outside of a threat. You can't force somebody to suck your dick.

[A]

What did he have, her mother at gunpoint?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, what threat would you have?

[B]

Oh, you'll lose your job and you'll never work again.

[A]

Oh, right. So back. So back then, it was pro. You can't do that now.

[B]

But back in the day, people probably still do.

[A]

Really? You could ever do it, but people.

[B]

I didn't say, yeah, Bobby's like the good old days, you remember?

[A]

I'm saying these are the days where

[B]

you were like, you want to keep this job? Maybe. Tootsie, give me a little.

[A]

How do you think Christine is keeping this job?

[B]

Oh, look, it's all Bobby sweaters.

[A]

I like that one. I like the one on the right.

[B]

I bet you do. It's not the right. That's the back of the one, I think.

[A]

No, that's. The one on the right has just.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[A]

What is that? What is that?

[B]

I thought they were back fronts.

[A]

I think it's a leopard.

[B]

It's a leopard.

[A]

I don't have a leopard.

[B]

How about the one with. How about the one with giant hairs on it?

[A]

I have the one. I have that one right there. No, the one over to the right. This one. I have that. No, you don't. Yeah. And I put it on one night to come to go out.

[B]

You should bring it here.

[A]

And she told me, Don said, you can't leave. And I was like, why? Because you can't leave the house with that. You can wear it on Sundays while you watch tv.

[B]

Bring it on, please. Bring it on Monday.

[A]

I'll wear it on Monday. I'll wear it Monday. Do I have to go to the cellar on Monday?

[B]

Can I try it on?

[A]

I'll wear it Tuesday.

[B]

Can I try it on?

[A]

I actually have two. I bought two.

[B]

Can I wear one of them?

[A]

You have the same. I bought one for Max and one for me. I thought it would be cool. The One night. Go out together as leopards.

[B]

As leopard. As leopard. Father and son, proud leopards. You and your cub.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. That's exactly right.

[B]

To do what? To hang out Vegas showgirl,

[A]

maybe do some pool sharking.

[B]

Yeah. You guys gonna three card money outside of a casino?

[A]

I'll bring it down. I have one. And I have another one that might fit you.

[B]

I want to wear it.

[A]

Okay, yeah, I'll let you wear it. I have this company. I've. I've. Button four.

[B]

I know. It's why they're in our algorithm here at work, because we've talked about them and they show up on every advertisement. They think I want to wear fucking tiger sweaters.

[A]

I got a lot of compliments on my tiger sweater at Ari's thing.

[B]

What thing?

[A]

The thing we can't talk about.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That I always bring up. And I remember that we can't talk about it for some reason. Fucking weirdo.

[B]

Your tiger.

[A]

You remember? Yeah. You actually said, yeah, it looked good. Well, what else are you gonna say? Were you lying to me? Will you wait a minute?

[B]

I don't remember it, Jay. I may have been you. You were like, whoa, what do you say to somebody? We're already at the wedding.

[A]

Touche. You're already dressed.

[B]

You're dressed. You're there. You're present.

[A]

But you figure if I'm going to somewhere where there's a lot of comics and I show up with something goofy, I'm going to be attacked, right? And I walked in fully ready to be attacked and have my tigers attack back.

[B]

Oh, you didn't get to activate your fucking care t

[A]

that. I. I almost. I did buy the red. I have the red one. Can't wear that. It just doesn't look good. How many of these did you buy? All of them. Well, you know, I'm a. I'm an addict, and my. These Facebook things come up and I just buy them. Oh. What I. I bought the other day was nuts.

[B]

I'm getting sick of Bobby's I'm an addict speech on every ridiculous thing he does in his life.

[A]

You've been in the program for 40 years. I haven't been to the shitty shit Anonymous.

[B]

You haven't been a addict.

[A]

That's a different program, Christine.

[B]

You were not. You were not an. Before you had dick hair. Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. True.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

Well, I'm an addict, Dawn. That's why I have to spend $3,000 behind your back on something ridiculous. Because when the apocalypse comes, you're gonna want metal toothpicks, the Wood ones will burn up.

[A]

That is a fucking great idea. That's a fantastic idea. But you do want kindling, so you might want to stick with the wood. Okay, I almost got. Scroll up a little bit. Yeah. We're looking at these sweaters. Everybody's seen them on Facebook. They have.

[B]

No, we see them because you made us have to.

[A]

They come up a lot. But here's the thing. They're from the like 1950s type of sweaters. Back in the, like, in the 50s, men would wear these sweaters.

[B]

And they put Frankie Valli and the four jerk offs. Your premise is completely.

[A]

This is a. This is. Your best girl wears these. Maybe 60s.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That old dog group, the Delphi.

[A]

You can't say that. Stop typing. You

[B]

type, you get saved on 21 Jump Street.

[A]

It's okay if you don't type. I'm gonna be on you. Listen, sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.

[B]

That's not the way.

[A]

I know, I know. I just wanted to slip one in.

[B]

My way was awesome.

[A]

I just wanted to have him panic. Look at his face.

[B]

I mean, it's something about your tone.

[A]

It's the Boston.

[B]

Sorry about your tone.

[A]

Oh, now they're in. Now they're all panicky. Well, Jacob has to stay an extra two hours because of that word. Is it two hours?

[B]

Yeah, it's a long.

[A]

So if we said it again, would it be four? Well, it's fine if you fired. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

[B]

It's two hours per.

[A]

I pulled the trigger on that. I apologize. I don't think we should discuss any further anyways. You know what these days feel like? Everything costs more. Groceries, gas, bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt the pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I'm always going over the budgets and what I can buy. And my wife. You don't need it. We can't get it. It's a real tough thing to actually take care of what you're spending, have a savings. It's just rough out there for everyone. So when the tax refund hits and you're thinking, what's the best way to keep more in your pocket without giving something up? Well, here's the real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation fees. And get one line of 5G for only 25 bucks. Yep, only 25 bucks. And no contracts that get in the way. The best thing, you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands. But that's exactly the point. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. Visit your local store on metroby T mobile.com and switch today $30 first month, $25 after with autopay. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. A lot of things to Stress about and I'll tell you one of my biggest one is financial stress. Everybody, no matter where you are, what you make, finances always come into play. You're always trying to figure out how much is coming in and what you need to spend. I've got a kid, I got a wife, you got a house. Everybody has these problems. But BetterHelp connects people with a licensed therapist who can help you and help you manage that emotional weight that comes with financial stress. Financial stress impacts more than the budget. At the start of this year, 88% of Americans reported feeling some sort of financial stress. Money worries can disrupt sleep, increase anxiety, and create tension in relationships. Boy do I know that BetterHelp works with over 30,000 licensed therapists. A short questionnaire matches you with someone based on your needs so you can focus on your goals instead of navigating the search process. With more than 12 years of experience and an industry leading match rate, BetterHelp typically gets it right the first time. If it's not a right fit, you can switch at any time. BetterHelp has served over 6 million people globally and may help if finance stress is weighing on you. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bonfire that's B E T T E R H E L P.com Bonfire hey, spring is the season for closet cleanouts. It's the perfect time to narrow down your wardrobe to pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time. That's where Quince comes in. With Quince, you get fabrics that feel elevated, fits that are well thought out, and pricing that actually make sense. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're paying for quality, not brand markups. And everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy. I just got this new spring jacket that I can't wait to wear. It's light, it's a kind of a barracuda thing. It looks perfect with everything, but the greatest part is the quality of it. You can tell when you put a jacket on if it was made good or not. If it's going to last in this jacket, I love it. Make sure you go right now. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.combonfire for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q U I N C E for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com bonfire if you've ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of learning a new language, you're not alone. Studies show that 70 to 90% of people trying to learn a new language, they give up. Fortunately, Babbel's built so that it's really easy to get started. They understand that people learn differently. So you can dive into a podcast when you don't quite feel like a quick lesson. You can speak out loud to get that practice in. You can explore courses based on specific topics and even create your own customized review list all within the app. Listen, I went to Costa Rica, everybody knows and I saved somebody life. Ayuta. That's what I heard. Ayuda. I knew what that meant because of Babel. That means help. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babel subscription at babbel.com/bonfire. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com/donfire spelled B A B B E.com/bonfire. Rules and restrictions may apply.

[B]

I've been meaning to say this. I like this idea. Lewis was at my house today. We were doing a legion of skanks from my house this morning.

[A]

Hey, Paco, can you give this to Jacob for me? Can you hand this to Jacob? That's Bobby's pass.

[B]

We Louis. Thank you.

[A]

Paco just does what you want him to do.

[B]

Whatever you want him to do.

[A]

Can you bring that back to me, please?

[B]

He was great in that way.

[A]

Yeah. Is that great? Thank you, Paco.

[B]

He was, he was giving the producers things to do for skanks, like things they do for skank story wars. He was giving them like the kind of blinder science. I go, man, I go, you got. I said, we gotta get you to. I gotta get you to come talk to arpenters like that black, black Lou and Jacob. And he goes, oh, I'll come in for like a month and audit them, but you gotta give me free range to say what they're doing wrong and stuff like that. I went, I like it. And then I was like, but may, I won't do it. I go, but here's my decision. If I go in today and Jacob smiles the whole show, then I won't do it. But if I look over and see Jacob frowning, which I've seen a lot, we have to have Lewis. I think we should have Lewis audit the crew. Louis J. Gomez audits the production crew.

[A]

I don't know. I.

[B]

Listen, I bet we'll have bits. Yeah, we'll have routines. These guys will be going to Jamaica. They'll have a trip for Jamaica planned in a couple months for sure. They're gonna have a retreat.

[A]

Jacob would hate Jamaica.

[B]

There will be a retreat, though, is the point.

[A]

There will be a treat.

[B]

There will be a retreat like you think you're putting in the work, and he's gonna be really mean to you during this, and he is. But at the end of it, there is a retreat.

[A]

There's a retreat for two. Was it two days? How many days? Four days. So that means two days. You got to get there, then you have two straight days of retreat, and then you have to. You have one more day left, and then you come home. Correct. Right. And you all sleep in the same room like a cult.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not doing any of that.

[A]

Why do you want to sleep in the same room as Paco, Tom, and some other guy you just sleep in

[B]

bed with Ralph, only they give him the Giants quarters.

[A]

Why don't you sleep between Lewis and. And James and Jacob?

[B]

I don't know what the payoff is gonna. I don't know what the payoff is gonna be for you then for having Louis come in here and audit you if you're not gonna take the retreat. You're just gonn. You seems like a lot.

[A]

DJ Lou, would you. Would you be okay with Lewis coming and auditing you?

[B]

No. No. I said flat out. D.J. lewis need any auditing. D.J. was killing it. But if I was like, I have undefined ideas of what people are doing in the. In the room. I'd say Jacob and Lou, I know they do something. That's why Lewis is going to audit it and see what it is.

[A]

But what if, God forbid, we look over and Jacob is smiling?

[B]

Wouldn't that be insane? Wouldn't that be intense? Wouldn't that be good?

[A]

That'd be nuts. It happens most of the time. I don't even know.

[B]

Well, in between nod offs and super aggressive frowns and stare offs and staring down at your computer, looking like you're frazzled because you're getting terrible information, but between that, you do laugh.

[A]

But he is the family.

[B]

He has the family, though. The family has spoken.

[A]

The family has spoken. Look at he. We're actually getting a grin right now.

[B]

I want you to be happy. Oh, buddy. You think watching Lewis bully you guys for a month Isn't gonna make me happy. It will. It'll make me so happy that at some point I'm gonna be like, it's making me too happy. Back off, dude.

[A]

You know, Black Lou would be. Would wind up fighting Lewis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe at one point we'd have to. No, no, no. Guys, guys, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Just them rolling around. Oh, yeah. We forgot we have HR here. Oh, yeah, we forgot. We can't. We can't lose it. Serious.

[B]

Lewis will not engage any fight.

[A]

I never forget we have HR because of Jacob's face.

[B]

Yeah. Jake's HR Face.

[A]

Yeah. His HR Tapping fingers.

[B]

Yeah. Jacob. You should get HR tattooed on your eyelids when you fall asleep. We'll see it. Oh, yeah. Hr. But, yeah, I think I like Lewis. Audit. He said he's available for it.

[A]

That'd be fun. Let's do that.

[B]

Yeah. Lewis will not engage in a physical fight with anybody. This is business.

[A]

Oh, you're gonna get business, Louis.

[B]

Business.

[A]

Lewis, right? He's gonna have his yellow glasses on. His shooting glasses.

[B]

He's gonna order. Because I'm telling you, the Gas Digital crew, they all for sure like me better, but they will. They will turn on me in a heartbeat for Lewis.

[A]

It's so weird you bring that up, because I do the regs. And I know Paco is just abused by this guy.

[B]

Abused.

[A]

And he'll. He will.

[B]

He'd push you off a fucking building if Lewis said, I really. I really actually need this done. Like, Bobby's gonna ruin my life. I need you to push him off a building. Paco would try.

[A]

He would kill me 100%. He would push me off a building.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

And it's. It's amazing. He'll treat him like shit on the show, and then he'll yell at Paco and he'll be like, I'm sorry. And he'll immediately take his side and you try to get him. Stick up for yourself, Pagoda. He's like, no, I don't want to. I like this. I like being abused. Why? It's a lot easier to

[B]

follow someone

[A]

who's that rooted in the ground.

[B]

What?

[A]

What? What? What the fuck does that mean?

[B]

What do you read a fortune cookie?

[A]

Do you have to talk like that?

[B]

When wise men say, pharaoh, you must furrow. If man is strong, man.

[A]

If tree must grow, it must have roots.

[B]

Now, if you don't mind,

[A]

My name is Paco.

[B]

My name is Paco. Paco is my name. My name is Paco, and Paco is my name. Buckle. What are we talking about, Louis?

[A]

Auditing this.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But then we went into why he has such a. He. It's a weird thing. He abused. He abuses you. It's like an abusive relationship. Like he'll abuse you into loving him deeper.

[B]

Or actually, Paco could be deep cover, and he's playing the long game. And just when Lewis sits atop his empire, Paco, he goes, paco, do me a favor, my little. Go get me a beer or something. And then when Paul comes up behind him, it's going straight. Just cut a Columbia necktie.

[A]

Dude just does a Big J opener.

[B]

Yes. Cut the music.

[A]

Cut the music.

[B]

Yeah, give him a. You give him a big J. From ear to ear.

[A]

Big J. All right. You guys ready to laugh now?

[B]

You bet you can. You better catch that, Big J.

[A]

Has he ever brought you to the point where you wanted. Were you hurt really bad? No, of course he's going to say that.

[B]

Yeah, he has to say that.

[A]

You have to say that. Has he ever made you mad?

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure. I've seen Paco shaking in his crate at Lewis's house.

[A]

You have a crate at his house?

[B]

Well, only when he's bad. Only if he pees in the inside bathrooms.

[A]

Is that why when Paco comes out of the crate, sometimes when I go to his house, he gets so nervous that he pees right on the kitchen floor?

[B]

Absolutely. He's fucking terrified. Yeah, but that's how he's governed him, through fear.

[A]

He really does run that place with an iron fist. Yells.

[B]

He also does a good move, though. He rules it with violence and threats. Yep. And then keep it. Also, at each day, keeps informing everybody that he's the best boss, he's the most professional boss, he's the blah, blah, blah boss. And then everyone around just goes, like, yeah, man, you got a champ. You said it, boss.

[A]

You're a member of a cult. Yeah, you're the. You're the Gas Digital cult. It's a pretty sick cult. You like it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you see. I did a tour of. I told you, I did a tour of Witsk Studios.

[B]

Studios. Did you see all your stolen stuff up on their website?

[A]

I wanted.

[B]

You know, Ari said when you talked to him, he goes. I swear to you, he goes. He goes, ari, I'll take it down. I'm not in the business of stealing people's clips. The whole thing is stolen clips, buddy.

[A]

Somebody sent me another clip of you're up there again.

[B]

Oh, they redid the making the Band. It's a terrible. A terrible pilot. It's only a piece of it Right. It's a terrible pilot. We did that again because I was like, we should do this. And they go, we're a production company. We'll do it. And we went and did it, and it was terrible. It didn't come out good. It wasn't the vision I had for it. It was with a band I didn't want to do it with. I had no information on the band. I wasn't excited to meet them myself. So it didn't really. I wasn't that hyped up for the people. I couldn't believe people were that psyched to meet them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it just was like, I don't. And I'm also. Again, it's before I'm finding out I'm not a man on the street guy. I'm not like a. Every next person we had to walk up to, they go, let's talk to these people over here tailgating this truck. And I. I mean, my first thing is like, oh, shit. All right. Hey, guys. We're talking to people to try to get them to play this game. It's just not my thing. But you can put it on a

[A]

little bit of it.

[B]

It's just. Boy, it's not even.

[A]

Well, I don't understand.

[B]

Not good. It's not good.

[A]

So are they just taking content and putting it on this site?

[B]

Well, that's a. That's a.

[A]

That's theirs.

[B]

That's a fucking. It's theirs. But that. Throwing it up right now is a complete. You about the.

[A]

So they put it up after it went up a year ago.

[B]

They're making the band thing.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I thought it was two days ago that went up.

[A]

It says one year ago.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Oh, wow. So that's been up. Not a you?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, so they just have it.

[B]

So it's not a you. It was just. Hey, we're not telling you we're putting this up. We're just going to, though.

[A]

Why wouldn't they want you to promote it?

[B]

Because I wouldn't have promoted that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was a bad thing.

[A]

It's bad.

[B]

And they know Ari wouldn't have promoted the other thing because they didn't like the way it was edited. Yeah, but they just put it out anyway.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, by the way, we looked at a thing. It's so funny. G. Mike was over to do Legion Skanks today, and I was telling that thing. I go, dude, they have 655,000 subscribers on the YouTube. It's insane. And then there's a thing you can click. I don't know what it is, but it shows. Like. Yeah. So he looked at, he goes, for instance, here's Legion of Skanks. And it's like the year's legions gangs. And it's just a steady, slow increasing line, right? Always on the uptrend. This one, whatever it is, when it comes up, it's like February 15th, a couple of two years ago. It's like they went from 8,000 subscribers to like 280,000. It was like in one day and then it was like two days later, like another day. Oh, we could do that. And they just did it again. And then everything has just been flatline ever. It's like there's just two, two days to get 655. It's a such a wild move.

[A]

We should do that for the bonfire. YouTube just by 10 million.

[B]

Let's go over. Yeah, let's pay. Let's get him crazy because yo, this is the most popular YouTube page more

[A]

probably than like any YouTube.

[B]

Any YouTube.

[A]

Mr. Beast can suck it.

[B]

Suck my dick. We're do bonfire games. Oh, a commercial on our YouTube. It only costs about $63,000aminute. Oh, but I'll tell you what, at least they're, that's the move they're doing. They're like, oh, we're kind of like just showing the best stand up clips of the week. So that's why we could show Tom Segura and Patrice and Eddie Murphy's Delirious, who Byron Allen owns, by the way.

[A]

Does he own Delirious? Yeah, he's got a lot of money.

[B]

Not anymore. Not anymore. Now it belongs to the Wits. It's the Wits, buddy. I have. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow with his family. I can't wait to talk about this.

[A]

Byron Allen.

[B]

I can't wait to talk about this.

[A]

How's your teeth, Jay? I heard you had problems, Jay.

[B]

So you went to the dentist recently.

[A]

Wow, this is a billion. Yeah, he bought it for a billion dollars.

[B]

No, no, he's. He has a billion.

[A]

Oh yeah. He's one of the richest guys in Hollywood.

[B]

He has a weather channel. Yeah. And look at the thing. Look up the thing like that. I mean maybe it's like myth, but say Byron Allen owns the rights to Delirious.

[A]

Well, he bought he. Because back when tv, we only had a few channels. We didn't have a lot at night. TV would go off, it'd just be like a circle beep. And it was nothing on. So he was like, can I buy that? And they're like, yeah, you can buy it. So he bought that hour time slot, a two hour time slot, and he owned it. So we could just. Whatever commercial money he got was his.

[B]

Yeah, he did. And he just said, press junket. Press junket interviews. So it's like nothing like the interviews. When we come back, Mel Gibson. It's like Mel Gibson on a red carpet. And someone goes like, mel, are you excited about the movie? He's like, oh, yeah, real excited. They go, everybody. Now we have another interview from like we saw. There's like, no. But then forced to sit down with

[A]

no interviewer because he wound up, I guess any. If you get a press pass, you can jump in on the press junkets in Hollywood and like, you. You've done them where you sit down and you go room to room to room to room in a hotel. And all the hotel rooms are just people in a chair with a camera and a microphone. You go from this room to that room to the. And it's all different. Whatever, press. So he bought a press pass and he was one of those guys. So he would. Whenever there was movies coming out, tv, he would just go to these press junkets, get a million interviews. They're literally five minute interviews with somebody. And he would just cut it up and he'd go, julia Roberts. No, you go this way. Ready? Coming up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Julia Roberts in her new movie. And then it would just show her dumb face. And then it'd be like a minute interview.

[B]

Yeah. Julia Roberts talks. Pretty woman premiere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's just her, like, I'm excited for it.

[A]

I wonder how much. I wonder how much tmz, I mean, that is.

[B]

Says no evidence. He's got a stake in stars. And so he says he doesn't. But that was always a thing I heard. But might be just like a funny myth.

[A]

And you know what? You never see him. You never see him on any interviews.

[B]

Wait, he does.

[A]

Below it says, yeah. This video explains how Byron Allen acquired the rights to Eddie Murphy's Delusions. But you never see him on. You never like this. I've never even seen him on a. An episode of a podcast or an interview. I've never seen him on anything. It's like he just does his show and then I wonder what he does.

[B]

He's a transition robot.

[A]

Like if he's. If he has hobbies, does he. Like he. You never see him golfing or basketball or.

[B]

Jacob, I. I hear you have a hard time sock shopping. I do. I'm giving transitions.

[A]

Jacob, I heard you had to stay two hours after work. Yesterday.

[B]

It's so specific. I did. Paco, you say that your. Your calves are hairy, but your thighs don't grow hair. I heard that is. I heard that somewhere.

[A]

They're pretty hairy. Paco, you don't have pubic hair. Tell us about that.

[B]

It's smooth. Ah, That's a really funny thing about your dog there, Paco. DJ Lou, you have a hard time fitting the shorts. Yeah,

[A]

I do.

[B]

And now back to the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Christine just did me dirty in every possible way.

[A]

It's one of the meanest things I've ever seen done in a relationship.

[B]

When we come back on the air,

[A]

work relationship or relationship relationship?

[B]

Well, I'll tell you. I was looking over the whole time. I'm so hungry that I'm nauseous almost. Yeah, I just felt a little nauseous. I think it's also my stomach. And I was looking down the barrel, those Fritos for the whole first hour of the show, and I go, when we go to break, I'm gonna eat them Fritos. And then we went to break, and Christine left, and I started talking to Bobby, and I went, those Fritos knocked over. Fritos are gone. She went to go eat him in the bathroom, I guess. And then all that was left was the napkin that's fucking got Frito grease all over it from her fingers was just left there. Just a napkin, no Fritos. And then right when we go back on air and I can't eat, she came back with Pocky and soda.

[A]

Put it in, like, a Japanese fun stick.

[B]

Oh, man, I wish I was more like Ari, where I would just take this and zip it across the room.

[A]

I am.

[B]

Break all of them into a zillion pieces.

[A]

I am.

[B]

Are you willing to break all of them into a zillion pieces? Yes. All right, let me take a handful out first and then punish her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, you won't do it.

[A]

I will do it.

[B]

You will do. That's why I'm not giving it to you.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I feel bad.

[A]

Don't look at me. Cristine, what you did. I just want to give you a little backstory to this too. Christine showed up today with a bag of Fritos just going, I love Fritos. Aren't Fritos the best? Oh, my God, I just fucking love them. And she held out six little Fritos in her little clutches and just was like, mmm. She goes, you want a Frito? And I was like, no, I'm good. They look like toenails. And she was like, I love them. I love them so much. And she just was eating the Fritos. And she probably saw you eyeing the Fritos.

[B]

She needed alone time with them.

[A]

Who takes snacks? I threw the bag out before I went downstairs. If you wanted Fritos, I would have given you Fritos. What, am I supposed to read your mind? Whoa.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Well, somebody doesn't know how to roll with the pictures. Jesus Christ. That was. That. Would that just. Okay.

[B]

Makes me sick.

[A]

Yeah, it makes me sick, too. Who doesn't offer? And can I say something? Every day she offers. She offered me some Fritos. She didn't offer you Sugar Daddy Okerson.

[B]

And took them away from me. She took him away from me.

[A]

Took him away. I don't want this crazy anywhere near me now, Jacob. I know what you mean.

[B]

Now.

[A]

I know what you mean.

[B]

Now I know what you mean.

[A]

Now I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Yeah, it's crazy.

[B]

You crazy laughing. Oh, I've been wanting to see this all week. I know. It's our last show of the week, so we. We get to our topics that we never looked at before. Bob Barker, new stuff. He's a bad guy, buddy.

[A]

It's so bad. It's so. He's so racist. It's funny. You know what I mean?

[B]

Really?

[A]

He.

[B]

I do know what you mean.

[A]

He.

[B]

But I don't know. I didn't know he was that.

[A]

He. He did not like black people to the point where he didn't want to be touched by them. But it's one of those Kaiser Soze things where you. You never noticed it. And then if you go back and watch when black contestants would come up and.

[B]

Oh, contestants. Because they. The spokesmodels. There was black spokesmodels. Always.

[A]

There was black spokesmodels. But he dated one of the spokesmodels, and apparently she said she was with a black guy and he fired her.

[B]

Oh, she was white.

[A]

He used to have a black. He used to have a. This girl come in and blow him in between breaks.

[B]

A white girl.

[A]

Diane Parkinson, Yo.

[B]

She was Playboy. Yeah, that one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's coming out and saying it.

[A]

Yeah, good for him.

[B]

I mean, apparently a bad thing by him. But, man, old Bob Barker getting blown by.

[A]

When a black contestant would come up, he. He didn't want them touching him.

[B]

He really.

[A]

He thought that they gave. He would catch what they have or. For sure. So if you look back at all these clips of, like, black. Like a, you know, fun Black lady winning. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, okay. Let's not get AIDS to each other. Now.

[A]

He's literally going, get away from me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me, buddy. Look at it.

[B]

I'm gonna. I want to.

[A]

Okay, we have five clips, but I believe this is the.

[B]

So Queen Latifah's gonna tell me he's not a good guy. Now this. That's a black woman saying that, by the way. I thought it was hearsay. I thought Diane, I thought the lady came out and said that.

[A]

No, Holly Rob. Holly Hallstrom said it as well. It's a common thing. They all knew it. It's about his racism. And if you watch the footage of like this to the lady, the lady that was going after him, I think they play a longer form clip of it. He gets. He goes, hey, don't. Hey, no. Hey, don't touch me. Well, this he likes.

[B]

Have they already made a thousand AIs though of him? Like, slave auctioning with a little tiny microphone. Make sure you spay new to your dogs and slaves.

[A]

Well, I don't think he was. I think dogs and cats were really black people.

[B]

Oh, so it wasn't dogs and slaves.

[A]

No. Make sure you spayed a new to your black people so we don't have more of them. I think it was code word.

[B]

This piece of that does that.

[A]

You notice here it looks like the black contestants trying to hug him. He goes, don't attack me. It progressively gets where he goes, don't attack me. Don't touch me. And then he goes, don't touch. Don't touch me. Like, get away from me.

[B]

Now. Did he. Was he like. Was he like a guy that would let, like, old ladies hug him and stuff? Normally?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, like Richard Dawson, except for if you're black. He's like, no, no, no. Look at. Dude, that's wild.

[B]

I love that. Now with Drew Carey. Drew Carey should do like. Like, he should freak them, you know? I mean, like, he should go to black intestines over and do it. Like, really get behind them. Like fucking bang on their butts with his crotch. Oh, he's like, well, I got him. I gotta throw the suit out. I gotta throw this up. Oh, God. Well, I need to get a rate. I need to get a tetanus shot backstage.

[A]

Well, now he seems totally fine. Oh, he doesn't seem.

[B]

He's already got it now. Can't get it twice now.

[A]

Get out of here. Go get your check.

[B]

He goes, me, I'm gonna go Purell my entire body.

[A]

I'm gonna go burn my hair off.

[B]

And if anybody needs me, I'll be calling my local grand wizard and apologizing.

[A]

It's all here.

[B]

Some more here.

[A]

She's got big gazoobies, huh? They said in the special that when a contestant won, when a contestant was gonna win, they would have a B next to the card if it was gonna be a black person. Coming up.

[B]

Wait, special.

[A]

It was on E. Entertainment. It was called Disgusting people.

[B]

I forget. Or was it A and E where they do like the secret world?

[A]

The exclamation point.

[B]

I was okay. Interesting.

[A]

I want to see the one. There's one where he's getting chased and he keeps. He just progressively gets more angry and angry. He's like, don't touch me. Get the away from me.

[B]

It's got a complicated history. Accusations of discrimination and sexual harassment.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

It's ease. Dirty rotten scandals. The price is right. It's a one off thing. Gotcha. Wow. Let's go. Give me some more. Bob Barker race.

[A]

His wife died around 1980 and then he became a huge poon hound.

[B]

He did. Yeah. Nice, everybody.

[A]

Yeah, that's him kissing. He'll kiss anybody.

[B]

What? His wife died from wheel spinning accident. She got dragged under.

[A]

Check your.

[B]

She goes. Her brooch got caught on the 85 cents and dragged her straight under.

[A]

I think it's Big J. Where you gonna be this weekend? Are you gonna be in helium in St. Louis this weekend? Yeah. The Funny Bone Friday and Saturday Funny Bound and then the funny Bone on Orlando.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

April 10th and 11th. And then you do a Nashville for Story wars and Kansas City. She headlining Kansas City Story wars in Nashville. Thank you for fixing that, Christine. Sorry. It's all right. Just, I mean, be sorry to Jay, not me. For tickets and all the tour dates, go to bigjaycomedy.com and go to YouTube.com bigjay comedy.

[B]

Bobby Kelly's gonna be at Comics Roadhouse with Vince Neil in Connecticut April 17th and 18th playing the Lion's Den. That's April 17th and 18th. Comics Roadhouse in Mohegan Sun.

[A]

Paco's coming.

[B]

Paco's gonna be there after that. He's gonna be at Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio, Stanford and New Orleans.

[A]

That's me, not Paco.

[B]

And as much as Bobby, Paco will not be at all of those. For tickets and all tour dates go to Punch up dot Live. Robert Kelly. Check out his YouTube channel at robert Kelly Comedy. And of course, every Tuesday night, the fat black cat lounge at the comedy cell or 7pm be there or be square. If you're in the New York area.

[A]

Do I look skinny?

[B]

Toast. Totes. But totes.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Thanks,

[B]

but she's home.

[A]

Hey, everyone, it's me, Morgan Stewart, and I have a new podcast called the Morgan Stewart Show. Join me each week as I talk about pop culture, fashion, my personal life, and just a warning, I'm gonna be giving my opinion on everything. I'll also have some really fun guests to join in on the fun. The Morgan Stewart show is out now. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts or watch full video on YouTube. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no.

[B]

We help people customize and save on

[A]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.