The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: "Hummus & Chicken Fingers"

Date: February 3, 2026
Podcast Host: SiriusXM | Faction Talk, Channel 103

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, joined by producers and friends, bring their trademark blunt humor to an unfiltered conversation about the chaos of winter travel, comedy road gigs, why Arby's divides the world, and rubbing elbows with pro athletes. Through tales of snowstorms, marathon drives, green room shenanigans, and sound effect battles, the hosts riff on the realities of their comedian lifestyles—with plenty of roasting and camaraderie.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Home Lives & Working Remotely

(00:42 – 04:39)

• Jay and Bobby debate the joys and guilt of working from home compared to the ritual of commuting to a studio.

  • Jay: “There’s something about…driving all the way in, park the car, walk over, go up in the elevator…it makes me feel like I’m doing work.” (01:27)
  • Bobby relishes being snowed in if you have snacks and banana bread; Jay counters with frazzled mornings and household chaos.

• Snow removal woes: Jay has researched installing a heated driveway, while Bobby recounts the battery drama with a snowblower and Christine’s shoveling efforts.

2. Epic Travel Fail: Bobby’s 18-Hour Drive

(04:56 – 15:17; 28:59–33:32)

• Bobby narrates his ordeal: driving 18 straight hours from Chicago to NYC because of canceled flights, braving snowstorms and slow traffic, with barely any pee breaks, and his performance companion Dylan glued to his phone over personal issues.

  • “What ended up being 18 hours straight yesterday with two pee breaks.” – Bobby (02:50)
  • “As soon as we get in the car, it’s like a thing that’s going to be his thing all day.” – Bobby on his co-driver (10:09)

• Entertainment for the road: Bobby cycles through standup specials, Howard Stern, and Ron & Fez. He jokes about walking Dylan through every one of his own comedy specials, “joke by joke…a little story behind each one.” (11:01)

• Truck stop temptations and supplies: lumbar pillows, doodads, enduring cold, and Arby’s as the only late-night food option.

3. Arby's vs. Real Roast Beef: A Culinary Throwdown

(15:17 – 22:18)

• The hosts enter a heated—and hilarious—debate over the merits (or horrors) of Arby’s roast beef after Bobby’s road meal. Jay is adamant:

  • “Arby’s is garbage…It’s like, you know like Applebee’s steak. It’s steak technically, but…” (16:18)
  • Jay claims Arby’s uses “hydrated roast beef…they wet it and then recook it. It’s gross.” (16:27)
  • Bobby defends: “Whatever it’s made of, dude, they’re roasting it for over three hours, buddy.” (19:14)
  • Christine and Melissa point out Arby’s is in the same tier as other fast food, not the Boston-area icons Jay and Bobby name drop (Mike’s, Kelly’s, Denick’s in Philly).

• Christine looks up the Arby's “basting broth” method, and the crew watches a video, recoiling at the visuals.

4. Sound Effect Battles & Remote Studio Follies

(21:14 – 23:02)

• Laughter as Bobby and Melissa duel over DJ horns and applause sounds. Fart noises (mostly inaudible to others) become a running gag.
• Technical mishaps with missing sound effects over Zoom lead to joking frustration and more impersonations.

5. Green Room & Arena Comedy: Madison Square Garden Stories

(44:23 – 51:16)

• Jay and the crew praise Bobby’s performance at Madison Square Garden opening for Shane Gillis, describing the thrill of playing a packed arena.

  • Jacob: “Such a pleasure…Seeing you…and the entire arena…just came out and murdered.” (44:36)
  • Bobby humbly avoids boasting on social media because “it’s not my show,” but is proud to share the moment.

• They detail the “simple” green room snacks—hummus and chicken fingers—enjoyed during NYC arena gigs.

  • “Shane’s rider is so…it’s the same everywhere: hummus, chicken fingers.” – Bobby (56:03)

6. Awkwardness Among Athletes and Celebrities

(51:16 – 55:00)

• Bobby gets nervous interacting with pro athletes, joking, “You are so millions of miles away, as am I, from professional athletics.” (51:34)
• Jay confesses to favoring athlete’s uncles and high school coaches in green rooms, then realizing he spent ages talking to a non-celebrity.
  • “Wound up talking to somebody’s uncle thinking there’s somebody for 20 minutes…” (50:29)
• Quick bit: Jay on the physical difference between himself and elite athletes: “There’s such a physical difference between an athlete and me…” (52:09)

7. Soundbites & Banter: Waking Up, Producer Life, and Friendship

• Bobby and Jay riff on being woken up by their wives with “business tone” anxiety, wishing for warmer energy:
  • “It’s a business decision that has to be made or we’re gonna lose the account.” – Jay (39:53)
• Reminiscences about old apartments and uninvited parties, snack platters, and comedian houseguests.
• The episode is peppered with playful put-downs, fake news segments, and Bobby’s attempts to start a “morning zoo” with sound effects.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On roast beef rivalry:
  "Arby’s is hydrated roast beef. It’s like they wet it and recook it. It’s gross." – Big Jay (16:27) "Dude, they’re roasting it for over three hours, buddy." – Robert Kelly (19:14)

• On the travel odyssey:
  "Eighteen hours straight yesterday with two pee breaks." – Robert Kelly (02:50)

• On comic bonds:
  "Joke by joke. And I explained him like a little…story behind each one." – Robert Kelly, about narrating his stand-up to Dylan (11:01)

• On home studio guilt:
  "This makes me feel guilty…like, you know, I’m not working." – Big Jay (01:47)

• On being out of place around athletes:
  "I don’t know why I get nervous around sports guys... There’s such a physical difference between an athlete and me." – Big Jay (51:16, 52:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:42 | Launch: Working from home; snow day rituals | | 02:50 | Bobby’s 18-hour drive home saga begins | | 09:47 | Road trip: Dylan’s distracted co-piloting | | 11:00 | Bobby walks Dylan through his specials; road-trip entertainment | | 13:39 | Truck stops, snacks, and Arby’s gatekeeping | | 15:17 | The Great Arby’s Roast Beef Debate | | 21:14 | Sound effect battles and remote tech woes | | 28:59 | Bobby’s return to NYC—rental chaos and LaGuardia gripes | | 44:32 | Jay and Jacob honor Bobby’s MSG set | | 46:10 | Awkward elevator exchanges with Eagles’ Cooper DeJean | | 49:23 | Bobby “sandbags” his daughter meeting an athlete | | 51:16 | Athletic awe; green room star spotting intimidation | | 56:01 | Simple pleasures: Shane Gillis’s hummus-and-chicken-fingers rider| | 57:03 | Shoutouts to comics and upcoming gigs |

Overall Tone & Takeaways

“The Bonfire” lives up to its name: a blend of warmth, sarcasm, and untamed storytelling. Whether riffing on home life, the grind of road gigs, food snobbery, or the oddity of meeting sports legends, Jay and Bobby’s dynamic is fast, self-effacing, and built on years of comedy camaraderie. They share the miserable and the memorable in equal measure, proving that for working comics, laughter (and maybe banana bread, chicken fingers, and a great fart sound) is the best way through winter.