I Think I'll have Some Ginger Ale

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I Think I'll Have Some Ginger Ale"

Podcast: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode Title: I Think I'll Have Some Ginger Ale
Release Date: August 8, 2025
Channel: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103

---

1. Introduction to the Episode [01:03]

The episode begins with hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly diving straight into their trademark blunt humor. They kick off the conversation by parodying a song about drinking, humorously shifting the focus from alcohol to ginger ale due to Bobby’s sobriety.

• Robert Kelly: "I think I'll have some ginger ale." ([03:45])

2. Discussion on Music and Personal Preferences [01:03 - 05:00]

The hosts engage in a light-hearted debate over different music genres and songs. Bobby expresses his disdain for a particular high-energy song, contrasting it with another they refer to as "Shitty Mighty Ballstones." Their banter highlights their differing tastes and sets a comedic tone for the episode.

• Big Jay: "This song's ass." ([01:55])

3. Transition to Comedic Sexual Health Talk [05:00 - 31:00]

The conversation takes a humorous turn as Big Jay and Bobby delve into the topic of sex toys, specifically dildos and vibrators. They explore various types, sizes, and functionalities, blending humor with candid discussions about personal preferences and experiences.

• Robert Kelly: "I love ginger ale. Yeah, I think I'll have myself." ([03:52])
• Big Jay: "You love it." ([03:47])

a. Choosing the Right Product

The hosts brainstorm imaginative and absurd ideas for dildos, such as a "fishing pole dildo" and a "dual-purpose vibrator." Their creativity and exaggerated suggestions serve as a comedic exploration of the topic.

• Big Jay: "How about a wooden one and then it's not finished though. Like it still has to be shellacked so it's smooth." ([16:53])

b. Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

Bobby shares personal stories about using dildos, including an incident where a vibrator sparked and caused a humorous mishap, adding a layer of relatability and humor to the discussion.

• Big Jay: "She almost burned my chest hair off." ([53:54])

c. Product Reviews and Recommendations

The hosts role-play product reviews for various sex toys, highlighting both positive and negative aspects in a comedic manner. They mockingly critique the functionality and design, emphasizing their playful approach to the subject.

• Big Jay: "It's a guy. What a hoe. Nickel chaser." ([46:56])

4. Integration of Audience Interaction [Various Timestamps]

Throughout the episode, listeners are brought into the conversation, with Christine and occasional mentions of a guest, Dusty Slay. These interactions maintain the show's spontaneous and unpredictable nature.

• Christine: "I'm gonna come on air. That sounds like me." ([57:59])

5. Guest Introduction and Promotion [58:22 - 59:06]

The hosts introduce their guest, Dusty Slay, promoting his new special "Wet Heat" available on Netflix. They provide his tour dates and encourage listeners to attend his stand-up shows, seamlessly blending promotion with their comedic style.

• Robert Kelly: "Dusty Slay will be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles August 5..." ([58:22])

6. Continuing the Comedic Dialogue [59:06 - 57:46]

Post-guest introduction, the conversation circles back to their earlier topics with renewed enthusiasm. They continue to riff on the dildo fishing pole concept and joke about integrating it into their fishing activities.

• Big Jay: "You're going to have to get an extra dildo for the pole." ([59:38])

7. Closing Remarks and Final Banter [57:46 - End]

As the episode nears its end, the hosts wrap up their discussions with more humor, reflecting on their unique approach to topics and teasing future content. They maintain their comedic rapport, leaving listeners entertained and eager for more.

• Big Jay: "We have to take a break. We have a guest." ([58:10])

---

Key Takeaways:

• Humorous Approach to Personal Topics: The hosts use comedy to discuss personal and sometimes sensitive topics like sobriety, sexual health, and personal preferences, making the conversation engaging and relatable.

• Creative Brainstorming: Their imaginative and exaggerated ideas for products showcase their creativity and ability to turn everyday topics into comedic gold.

• Audience Engagement: By involving listeners and introducing guests, the hosts maintain a dynamic and interactive atmosphere, enhancing the show's spontaneity.

• Seamless Integration of Promotions: Even while discussing candid topics, the episode smoothly incorporates promotions for guests and upcoming events, aligning with the show's live and casual vibe.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Robert Kelly on Choosing Alternatives to Alcohol:

  • "I think I'll have some ginger ale." ([03:45])

• Big Jay on Song Preferences:

  • "This song's ass." ([01:55])

• Interaction on Product Functionality:

  • Big Jay: "You love it." ([03:47])
  • Robert Kelly: "Let me try it again with ginger Duro. Let's do the song." ([03:52])

• Humorous Product Critique:

  • Robert Kelly: "Tang it in front of beer." ([03:26])
  • Big Jay: "It’s a guy. What a hoe. Nickel chaser." ([46:56])

• Guest Promotion:

  • Robert Kelly: "Dusty Slay will be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles August 5..." ([58:22])

• Closing Banter on Future Content:

  • Big Jay: "You're going to have to get an extra dildo for the pole." ([59:38])

---

Note: This summary captures the essence of the episode, focusing on the main content while omitting advertisements and non-content sections as per the provided guidelines.

Transcript

[Bobby]

If you could hear love, what would it sound like?

[Jay]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[Bobby]

Yeah, Dad, I think we should. Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. [e-mail] an OHA initiative.

[Christine]

Prices keep going up these days.

[Bobby]

It feels like being on an elevator.

[Christine]

That only goes up.

[Jay]

Going up.

[Bobby]

But not at Metro. We're pushing the down button.

[Christine]

Going down, we've lowered prices.

[Bobby]

Get one line of 5G data for $40, period. That's 20% lower.

[Christine]

And you get a free Samsung 5G.

[Bobby]

Phone when you bring your number. Only at Metro.

[Christine]

Five year guarantee on eligible plans. Exclusion supplies. See website for details. Not available at Metro with T Mobile in the past six months, tax applies.

[Jay]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. I hate this song.

[Jay]

And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out on the floor now baby, you won't bother me no more and if you're drinking well, you know that you're my friend and I'll say I think I'll have myself a beer.

[Bobby]

You're gay?

[Jay]

No, no.

[Bobby]

Yay. In a good way.

[Jay]

That's a fun song.

[Bobby]

I don't. I don't like it. I'm not into it. It's too much energy.

[Jay]

But never had enough on wood. Makes me want to punch through glass.

[Bobby]

What's that?

[Jay]

The Shitty Mighty Ballstones.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

The impression that I get. I never had to knock on wood.

[Bobby]

I would take them over that.

[Jay]

Huh?

[Bobby]

That I like.

[Jay]

Take that song over that song?

[Bobby]

Yeah. Right here. Listen.

[Jay]

This song's ass.

[Bobby]

Pretty similar. It's very. It's all the same song.

[Jay]

This is ass.

[Bobby]

This a little more. A little more edgy. A little more punk.

[Christine]

If we're, like at a festival and I saw a song playing live, I'd be like, we gotta get over there.

[Jay]

I would tell you to go. We have a mini fight.

[Bobby]

We gotta go. Christine would be running with a hamburger.

[Jay]

I'd let her go. I go, I'll meet you over there. I'm not rushing to that now.

[Bobby]

These guys are a little more. Little more edgy than the other.

[Jay]

Listen, I know they're from Boston.

[Bobby]

Y.

[Christine]

No, no.

[Bobby]

What? No, no. What?

[Jay]

What?

[Christine]

Here's saying they're. I thought you're saying they're edgier than Real Big Fish. And they're Real Big Fish is pretty edgy.

[Bobby]

Why? Because they talk about date rape. The good kind.

[Jay]

Sublime.

[Bobby]

Oh, whoever that is.

[Jay]

Who?

[Bobby]

All right, wait a minute.

[Jay]

Real Big Fish was the beer song.

[Bobby]

The beer song is Big Fish. I don't drink beer. I'm sober, so it doesn't affect me.

[Jay]

It doesn't have to affect you. I don't drink beer either.

[Bobby]

It's against what I believe, so I can't really. I can't buy into it. If they made it into soda or just a regular drink, I'd be fine with the song.

[Jay]

Think I'll have myself a Sprite.

[Bobby]

Yeah, I'm in. I'm in.

[Jay]

Dude.

[Bobby]

If it's Sprite or any type of iced tea. Arnold Palmer. Whoa.

[Jay]

Oh, it doesn't flow.

[Bobby]

Try it.

[Jay]

I think I'll have myself an Arnold Palmer.

[Bobby]

Just say Palmer.

[Jay]

No, that sounds like you're gonna get whacked off by somebody.

[Bobby]

How about unsweetened iced tea? Try that.

[Jay]

There's too many facilities.

[Bobby]

Think I'll have myself a Coke. No, I think.

[Jay]

I think I'll have some. I think I'll have myself iced tea.

[Bobby]

So I think I'll have myself a root beer.

[Jay]

No, I mean, I can't add root.

[Bobby]

In front of beer.

[Jay]

No, no, that's got to be just the name. I'll Think I'll have myself an iced tea. I think I'll have myself. Can't be Pepsi.

[Bobby]

I'll have myself.

[Jay]

Myself a Squirt.

[Bobby]

Nope. That sounds weird.

[Jay]

Squirt Cola.

[Bobby]

I think I'll have myself a ginger.

[Jay]

I think I'll have some ginger ale.

[Bobby]

That's good.

[Jay]

You could do that.

[Bobby]

I love ginger ale. Yeah, I think I'll have myself. Nope.

[Jay]

Let me try it again with ginger Duro. Let's do the song. Get to the. Around the chorus, please.

[Bobby]

Real big fish.

[Jay]

Please.

[Bobby]

Just.

[Jay]

Of course.

[Bobby]

What a silly job we have.

[Jay]

It is dumb.

[Bobby]

It's stupid.

[Jay]

They pay us money that isn't that great. But it would make you angry if you're new when you're thinking about what you're doing apparently to make money. This would piss you off.

[Bobby]

The fact that we're just talking about trying to make a SCA song sound good.

[Jay]

Yeah. We're not millionaires, but we're doing fine.

[Bobby]

There we go.

[Jay]

We're not ice Road trucking. Oh, yeah. And if you thinking well, you know that you're my friend. Then I'll say, I think I'll have some ginger ale.

[Bobby]

Yeah, I'm in now.

[Jay]

Now give the second verse a try and see if you. If you bump.

[Bobby]

I hate that part.

[Jay]

Come on, you don't spit. Ginger ale. That's the bubbles.

[Bobby]

All right. The ginger ale. All right. Bubbles. Woohoo. Actually, this is my snap.

[Christine]

It's totally your snap.

[Bobby]

I might be. This might be.

[Christine]

Oh my gosh.

[Bobby]

I might go with you.

[Jay]

I won't even try. And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out on the floor now baby, you won't bother me no more. Look how excited you are waiting for it to come. And if you're drinking well, you know that you're my friend and I'll say I think I'll have some ginger ale.

[Bobby]

I, I think at the end of.

[Jay]

The song, go ginger ale.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay]

Oh, wait, here's the breakdown. Oh, there's ginger. Ginger ale.

[Bobby]

I like it.

[Jay]

You love it.

[Bobby]

Jacob on Zoom is ordering protein power right now. And dick pills.

[Jay]

What's up, dude? You getting way. You getting way in wiener pills? Yeah.

[Bobby]

You don't like this music, do you?

[Jay]

No.

[Bobby]

No, I don't.

[Jay]

Now, Jacob, that microphone I assume was for when you. When the show's over and you whack off while you play Call of Duty on Twitch.

[Bobby]

Or. Or is it when you.

[Jay]

Hey, guys, I'm going to be doing a pretty crazy campaign right now. If anybody wants to join. Daddy J. This is a big gym approved mike, so if you make fun of my mic, you're making fun of him. I have no problem with that.

[Bobby]

Yeah, Big Jim.

[Jay]

All right. I'm just letting you know.

[Bobby]

Throw that in there.

[Jay]

He went to disco you up.

[Bobby]

We'll make fun of Big Jim.

[Jay]

I didn't realize that when you talk the light jumps up.

[Bobby]

It does it lights.

[Jay]

Lights up the room when I. Can we put a black. Can we put a black blanket over you so it looks like. Like the microphone has kit in. Has Knight Rider kit. It's just Jacob's voice. We put Jacob inside the microphone.

[Bobby]

Look at my Kiki coat.

[Jay]

Right?

[Bobby]

One of those. One of the bad guys from Buck Rogers. Cylons. Is that it? Zim Zoom. Is it Cylons in Battlestar Galactic? Yeah. Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, that was it. Yeah. Is it silence? How do you know you're a nerd?

[Christine]

I love battles.

[Bobby]

Get the out. Really?

[Jay]

She lived with a nerd.

[Bobby]

Did you like the new one that came out? The new one? Yeah, the new one. The chick. What's that blonde girl who played. She played. What's her name? She played the guy role. She was hot as hell and she was in. She showed her boobs in the. The movie with Vin Diesel.

[Jay]

The.

[Bobby]

With the aliens.

[Jay]

If dawn could get down with freaky, freaky sex, we can just do a full couple swap and both be happy. Christine listening To Battlestar Galactica.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

That gives her.

[Bobby]

Look at her dude nerd talk right there. This was number six. I don't want her. I like. Not her, the other one. That nerd. That dude looking 1. DMV, you know, I love dude looking chicks.

[Jay]

She has Wayne dmv, bro.

[Bobby]

She was in. What's that movie? That Vin Diesel, you know. Come on. Savant. Vin Diesel. Aliens. He has the glowing eyes.

[Jay]

Oh, a Riddick.

[Bobby]

Riddick.

[Jay]

But the first one was pitch black.

[Bobby]

Pitch black. She was in pitch black. And was she. She took her top off. Yeah. They show her gazoobi. She's got nice natural gazoobies.

[Jay]

Really?

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Some nice nats.

[Bobby]

Yeah, yeah, I do. I like her buck. But that movie, the Battlestar Galactica, that was the first TV show that got space, correct. They changed the way space looked. They made it real on Battlestar Galactic, the new one. When they were flying around doing shit it like Star wars was like, oh, fuck, we gotta update our.

[Jay]

Christine was trying to not do drugs, living in a place where she had no money, with a nerd named Brian Balding. Brian Bollinger. And so she watched Battlestar Galactica because she had no TV in her room or a really shitty TV in her room.

[Bobby]

So she just assimilates to everything she's in the room with?

[Jay]

Yes, in that situation she did.

[Bobby]

Right.

[Jay]

I don't know about in general now.

[Bobby]

So if she moved in. If she moved in with Jacob, she'd be into these two dolls fishing.

[Jay]

You could just see a silhouette of Jacob and Christine in front of Titanic. On the tv. Every night?

[Bobby]

No, every night he'd draw her on the couch.

[Jay]

The house is just littered with drawings of Christine naked. Yeah, just do a different pose every night. Don't. Christine naked with her mouth open, sleeping.

[Bobby]

Yeah, yeah, with cheese. Cheese curls.

[Jay]

Christine, did we bancelona for you to find?

[Christine]

I wasn't quitting drugs when I lived with Brian. I was living in New York.

[Jay]

I didn't say you were quitting drugs. Like you're trying to stay away from like partying too hard, taking a night off. So you watch Battlestar Galactica?

[Christine]

I liked Battlestar Galactica. I wouldn't have watched if I didn't like it.

[Bobby]

I. I loved it.

[Jay]

Christine. It was a good show.

[Bobby]

Great.

[Christine]

It was a great show.

[Jay]

Tell me you love Battlestar Galactica. And I'm gonna need that.

[Christine]

Battlestar Galactic.

[Jay]

I'm about to need that.

[Bobby]

Such a good.

[Christine]

I like science fiction. I read some Robert Heinlein when I was. Defend yourself beyond the yo.

[Bobby]

Defend yourself Christine accidentally kicked him in the jaw, knocked his teeth out.

[Jay]

You got up.

[Bobby]

You. The bad part about this is I almost did this in a gas station last night. On the way home, the song was on. I almost leaned on the cow. What's up, yo? You have any gum? I need some gum. I can only get the butt thing for like a half a second, and then I fall off.

[Jay]

What I think is we want to do the butt thing. Sometimes, even though I'm wearing boxer briefs, I feel like my nuts really, like, swinging down there.

[Bobby]

I like that.

[Jay]

I like the feeling for sure. But it's. Man, they're hanging, huh?

[Bobby]

I love it. I love. I love a big swinging nut. I like a hot, saggy nut.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

In my. Wait, let me finish. In my mouth. Let me finish, Jay, before you agree with me. In my mouth.

[Jay]

Sometimes a big fat. When you have a big fat set.

[Bobby]

Of balls in your mouth.

[Jay]

In your mouth.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Or just, you know, holding them between your own legs.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

I feel like that's very masculine. But some people I know throughout time, people, like, made fun of their big ball. Like, it's like, oh, look how big his balls are. Like, I don't know, dude.

[Bobby]

You know those plastic chairs back in the 90s, the, like, it just all one piece. One plastic chair, green, usually. Yeah. I would. I would love to on another hot, hot day, but like a warm day, just go out and sit on one naked and just have my. Just kind of drape my balls on the front of it, hang over the edge.

[Jay]

Yeah. Well, I'm worried about, though. I don't know if you remember those chairs. When you stand up, all of your back skin and ass skin is going to be still on that chair.

[Bobby]

Oh, there's a titties right there.

[Jay]

Finally.

[Bobby]

Yeah, she's got nice ones. I like.

[Jay]

Those are nice little gnats I like.

[Bobby]

Look at her butt's not bad, too.

[Jay]

Here's what it is. It's all not bad. And that's what makes it good. Because it ain't great.

[Bobby]

It ain't great. Yes. It's not perfect. It's. It's natural.

[Jay]

I'd rather see. I'd rather see not great shape nudity and TV nudity. That's what got boring about horror nudity for a while. That's different.

[Bobby]

Wow. Is that from the wnba?

[Jay]

Is that last night?

[Bobby]

Is that after the game? Sorry. So, context, Jacob. They threw a green, big, huge plastic dildo on the floor of the wnba.

[Jay]

You thought that was huge during the game?

[Bobby]

Yeah. Well, no, not big for us. Not big for me, but for, like, most people.

[Jay]

Yeah. I mean, some people.

[Bobby]

Average people. I mean, that was small to me. I mean, if I had a dildo, if my dick would be bigger. Yeah, Yeah.

[Jay]

I mean, that was like probably an Asian one or something.

[Bobby]

Yeah. They threw it right up during the.

[Jay]

Was it on the court or was it on the side?

[Bobby]

This video of it. I sent it.

[Jay]

I can't. I couldn't see.

[Bobby]

It's on the court. They throw it. Somebody throws it from pretty high up, too. They throw it down. It. It bounces. It bounces and goes kind of down the court. And then there's a camera. They have a Photoshop of it just lying on the. The girls are mad, dude. It made him mad.

[Jay]

Did it? I saw the one like, say something to the other one. Like, tell her. And you see her go like, oh, my God. Really? But like, not mad looking.

[Bobby]

There was one girl. There was a couple girls. I was walking away like, oh, you motherfucker.

[Jay]

They should be mad.

[Bobby]

Really? That's pretty funny.

[Jay]

It's absolutely hilarious. But I mean, it is. It's completely trivialized and I think it's hilarious.

[Bobby]

That's a pretty.

[Jay]

As I told you, the only thing would have been more hilarious if somebody really should have tried to send one down with the suction cup bottom. So it would have stuck to the wood and then just swung back and forth from it. And then someone would have to go two hand, pull it off the wood.

[Bobby]

Yeah, the. The bald old referee.

[Jay]

It's got to be a guy. You cannot send any woman who works for the WNBA playing on a team or anything out there to two hand because you have to put some back into it because you're pulling a suction cup off that floor.

[Bobby]

Here it is. Right here is ready. And here comes.

[Jay]

And where does it happen?

[Bobby]

It's coming right now. Right now.

[Christine]

It went already?

[Jay]

No, they said it went. I don't see it.

[Bobby]

Yeah, no, no. I think it comes right now.

[Jay]

No, she said no.

[Bobby]

Right here. Right here. Right here, right here. It doesn't.

[Jay]

Bobby.

[Bobby]

No.

[Jay]

Are you not listening?

[Bobby]

What? I'm listening.

[Jay]

Right in the beginning, she says. She goes, somebody just threw something on the floor.

[Bobby]

Let me see.

[Jay]

It's already happened by this point. I didn't see it at all. Again, look, if there's other. Other. YouTube has to have a better shot.

[Bobby]

Actually, one of those girls grabbed it and put it in her fucking bag.

[Jay]

Before I could see it, before they could take it. Otherwise they put it in her fucking chunch. And he goes. She went on to score 30 points after that.

[Bobby]

Play it again, Christine. Let me see where it goes. I thought it came after the. They did it during the play.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, it comes down, like, from here and goes that way.

[Jay]

Huh?

[Bobby]

Here go.

[Christine]

Comes from there and goes over there.

[Bobby]

Where is.

[Jay]

I'm looking.

[Bobby]

Looking.

[Jay]

It's already happened.

[Bobby]

Where?

[Jay]

It's already happened.

[Bobby]

There.

[Christine]

See it?

[Bobby]

Oh, there it is.

[Christine]

It just went.

[Bobby]

Just flew across the middle. Okay. I did.

[Jay]

See if YouTube has a better. YouTube's got a better video.

[Bobby]

It'd be hilarious, though, if that becomes a thing. Like, you know in hockey, when they throw, like, squids. Like, octopus. On the. All rats. They throw them on the ice. Actual rats they throw. It's just, like, stupid things they'll throw on the ice. No, like, fake rats to protest. Yeah, protest.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Bobby]

A game they'll pro. They'll throw stuff on the ice to protest. If they start doing this, just throwing hundreds of dildos.

[Jay]

Oh, just a shower of dildos. That'd be fantastic. That was a pretty funny. Christine, which thing was that that we were watching? It was like a cheating documentary. It might have been the trophy wife, the safari one we were talking about. But he sent one girl. Oh, and he likes a girl. Yeah, the guy, the dentist. He was a very wealthy dentist who killed his wife to be with the new chick or whatever. But when he was interested in a different chick at work, at one point he said. He was just so brazen. He said, we should hang out sometime. And she was like, I'm married, I think. And he sent her, like, one of those box bouquets where it's, like, in a box, and the thing. And then in the middle of it was just a dildo. And at the end, they had to say, like, there's no actual evidence, like, on the screen. They have to write, like, there's no actual evidence of the. Of the infamous dildo bouquet. They have to, like, write it out.

[Bobby]

So he just made it up.

[Jay]

That'd be a great.

[Bobby]

I'm gonna say this right now. I know what to get done for a birthday Friday.

[Jay]

Oh, for your lady. That's not a bad present at all. It's presumptuous to give to a girl. You just said, let's hang out. She was like, I don't think so. But you go, what about if I send you some dildos and flowers?

[Bobby]

Yeah, but she needs a wood dildo. She needs, like, a wooden, like, woods dildo. Like a New Hampshire deal. She has no New Hampshire dildos. Oh, so it's, like, tiny house still.

[Jay]

So a wooden one and then it's not finished though. Like it still has to be shellacked so it's smooth. And she needs you for that.

[Bobby]

Well, I need her for that.

[Jay]

What you've done is you've.

[Bobby]

She smooths it out with her fucking old vag.

[Jay]

Oh, right. On the rough wood from.

[Bobby]

Well, the rough wood with the rough vagina. Yeah, she'll sand that down with her dried up.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah. How old are we talking here? Because you need about a 1/4 inch grit.

[Bobby]

Yeah, she's around that. She's around.

[Jay]

Is that a real thing? I know something. Grit.

[Bobby]

Yeah, we can find. We can find. She's a fine grit. She's around a 1.3, maybe 1.3 grit.

[Jay]

Okay. All right.

[Bobby]

I should get her a tiny house dildo. Like a four up there. That's a great one. Max is away for two days.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah. Get her something nice.

[Bobby]

I'll get her a scratch ticket. And a scratch ticket that you become a millionaire and leave me and go off and become a. And take your dildo.

[Jay]

Or now do you think, first of all, let's get her a dildo. No one's using just a dildo anymore.

[Bobby]

What do you think I should get her?

[Jay]

If you're only gonna get one, you get a vibrator. But I would say you can make a nice combo of dildo and vibrator.

[Bobby]

Yeah. Okay. What kind of vibrator should I get? Like a pocket rocket?

[Jay]

No. See this guy.

[Bobby]

Buddy, I'm sorry. I have been out of the game for a long time. Are you sorry, Jacob? Yes, I am. Why don't you just stop?

[Jay]

Pocket rocket.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Is like. Oh, what are you. You buying it at the checkout line while you're there to buy butt lube.

[Bobby]

Well, pocket rocket is a classic vibrator. Women love it.

[Jay]

Buddy.

[Bobby]

Call my mom. She still asked for one. I gave her.

[Jay]

There you go. It's from the 1918, the 18th.

[Bobby]

They didn't have vibrators back then. They have electricity from the 1918, did they?

[Jay]

I don't know either.

[Bobby]

What is that?

[Jay]

That looks like pocket rock.

[Bobby]

That looks like a flashlight.

[Jay]

No, exactly. It looks like it's waiting to be plugged into a 9 volt.

[Bobby]

That'd be great if we could get a flashlight. That is a vibrator. So I can use it. Hey, get the flashlight, Max. Cool, dad. And then she can use it.

[Jay]

No, but they have that for you. But don't ask Max to grab you your Fleshlight. Please.

[Bobby]

Not flashlight. Flashlight.

[Jay]

Right.

[Bobby]

For up there. That you Could I need to get a.

[Christine]

No, you need a dual purpose vibrator.

[Jay]

Why not?

[Bobby]

Why not?

[Jay]

Christina is a tiny house. Everything has to be efficient up there.

[Bobby]

Yeah, every. Exactly. We need. We need efficient. I need a flashlight for up there.

[Jay]

So how about this? If I'm thinking efficiency, here's what I'm thinking.

[Bobby]

I love when you're in your thinking mode.

[Jay]

I like this. A dildo. A nice comfortable size. Okay, so it feels good inside a woman. And that feels good inside of a woman. Five, six.

[Bobby]

Five, six, sure.

[Jay]

Nothing crazy.

[Bobby]

Nothing crazy.

[Jay]

It's not overwhelming, but you know something's in there, right? Right.

[Bobby]

Yeah. Your eyes aren't popping out.

[Jay]

I don't want to argue.

[Bobby]

You don't get. You don't get a headache from it.

[Jay]

No pressure. I don't argue. Every lady's her own thing. These numbers might sound crazy small for Christine. I don't know. But here's what I'm thinking. For dawn, whatever size you think, they.

[Bobby]

Don'T seem pretty crazy.

[Jay]

I don't know.

[Bobby]

She masturbated with a toothpick last week.

[Jay]

It's true.

[Christine]

I don't know if a dick's too small or maybe they're just too drunk.

[Jay]

It's true. So how about this? On at the bottom of the dildo, what comes out of it? A fishing pole.

[Bobby]

Wait a minute. A fly. Fishing rod. Like a Japanese.

[Jay]

No, no, no. I don't think she has to move a lot. Just want it like. Like a big game. Like where you. Where you set it and forget it.

[Bobby]

You mean like with a bobber?

[Jay]

She's just sitting there, like holding a spin rod. She's just holding the line.

[Bobby]

Yeah, I like that.

[Jay]

And then you get two things done. She gets to use her dildo and also catch dinner.

[Bobby]

How about this? Can we make it? Does it have to be just two things?

[Jay]

No.

[Bobby]

Can it be? Because I'm doing a lot of hiking and I forgot my walking sticks. I have walking sticks. My knees.

[Jay]

Yes.

[Bobby]

Can it be fishing pole slash walking stick?

[Jay]

Okay. Tell you why. I don't think so.

[Bobby]

Why?

[Jay]

Don't be upset. I'm worried about your family.

[Bobby]

Okay.

[Jay]

As a walking stick, the one I'm picturing here, when you screw the walking stick attachment on.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

When you take the dildo, I have to assume the handle of the walking stick is going to be the dildo. Now, while that's hilarious to look at and functionally sound, I'm sure now you've created a problem when dawn wants to use it again. It's been hiking with Your hands all over it. I mean, it's just. You're playing with fire. You're gonna get her a UTI again. Again. Oh, yeah, maybe.

[Bobby]

Right? Maybe.

[Jay]

You know what I'm saying?

[Bobby]

No, no, but.

[Jay]

So maybe. Maybe one function.

[Bobby]

I'm gonna leave it as a fishing rod. I'm gonna be using it holding it all the time too, so.

[Jay]

Well, you're gonna have to reel it in for sure.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Okay, let's. We're thinking crazy now. Oh, okay. How about on the. And this exists for sure. Dildo screw on attachment in the back. Duster.

[Bobby]

It's a duster.

[Jay]

The duster. So she can leave it inserted and just work the house. You know, like somewhere between waist level and below furniture.

[Bobby]

I do like that. Does it come with a dust pan?

[Jay]

No, this is more of, like, the dust that gathers, like on a window.

[Bobby]

Like a feather dust. Right? Oh, a feather dust.

[Jay]

Like a Swiffer one, though. You want. Something's gonna pick up, right? You want to have that. Whatever they call it, that attraction where it picks the dirt up with it. You don't want to just swirl and dirt around the house. No, that's. Functionally. Doesn't make any sense.

[Bobby]

But can there be. Here's the thing with it. I need a. That is fine. But a flashlight option would be better for me. Because here's the thing. She's up in the loft. You can't turn the lights on and do it. You gotta do it in privacy. Pull the curtain back. But you need some lights, right?

[Jay]

Oh, and for the dildo, I think you should also keep the other end of that attached. Not the. The vibrator. That's gonna need some power.

[Bobby]

Mm.

[Jay]

I think you keep that attached to, like, a power washer on the other end of that. Or maybe a band saw.

[Bobby]

A bandsaw.

[Jay]

Just make sure everything's staying charged.

[Bobby]

A band saw? Why? Why a band saw?

[Jay]

Whatever you have up there. I assume you don't have a bandsaw.

[Bobby]

No, I have a chainsaw, Fool.

[Jay]

Wow. Mistake. But okay.

[Bobby]

This is a good idea, though. I should get her something for up there, because she's alone tonight. She's gonna be alone tonight. She's a. You know, Max does overnights, and I'm not there. That'd be a great time for her up in the tiny house. She hasn't rubbed one out up in the tiny house.

[Jay]

And let me tell you that I'm learning.

[Bobby]

Yeah, a little louder.

[Jay]

Buy for her. Don't buy for yourself. Because years ago, me and Christine walked into a sex toy store And I mean, my eyes were just big on the. Could this even fit inside of you side of the. Of the room?

[Bobby]

You just want to do test?

[Jay]

Yeah, like a.

[Bobby]

Like a test.

[Jay]

I want to be like, yo. It would be crazy to see if Christine could accept this into her.

[Bobby]

A fist and an arm.

[Jay]

Some big. And then the lady. The lady who worked there wisely came over and she was like, it's not what you're looking for. Like, it's never going to get used. This is always like the boyfriends and husbands come in and want the biggest, hugest thing to put in their lady for some reason, because that's not what's gonna make it. And then showed me things that were a little more rational.

[Bobby]

Right? She looked at you, I was like, this is what you need.

[Jay]

Yeah. And then she showed me what was rational and I went, you do a little bit bigger than that, right? She's like, you got a little bit bigger. And we went a little bit bigger.

[Bobby]

What, did she ever use it again? Did she use it all the time?

[Jay]

I believe so. Yeah. I believe functionally, yes.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I have a joke dildo that you. I mean, you're the only one that give me a joke.

[Bobby]

Does it tell you jokes? What's that smell?

[Christine]

It's huge. It's like an abnormal. It's like a huge.

[Bobby]

That'd be a great dildo if it did tell jokes. You pushed a button that just made fun of her.

[Christine]

I realized I've just had.

[Bobby]

Holy. Is that a black hole? Where am I going? Is that a clit or a dick?

[Jay]

We had some mishaps with sex toys before.

[Christine]

Well, wait.

[Jay]

What I was saying almost caught fire once.

[Christine]

The whole reason why I brought it up is because when we moved, I just had it, like under the bed, forgetting I was having people, like, move the bed and work. So I just, like. I'd walk in there, be workers, and I just.100 knew that they saw it because it would be like, moved out.

[Bobby]

Of the way, right?

[Jay]

Oh, is it the ones like this?

[Bobby]

Is that the joke one? Yeah, yeah. Or is that the one.

[Christine]

I've never. I've never tried it.

[Bobby]

I've never attempted. What does it look. Does it have veins?

[Christine]

I literally will send do a picture when we get home. It's hilarious.

[Bobby]

Does it look like a big. Or is it just a dildo? I. I don't want.

[Christine]

I'm. You're going to get a drop. But it's a BBC Bobby. What that means?

[Bobby]

No. What is that?

[Christine]

You can explain it.

[Bobby]

I don't know. Just Tell me what it is.

[Jay]

Big black dude.

[Bobby]

Not you. Tell her I want the drop. Jesus Christ.

[Jay]

Oh, that's a drop? Trust me, I gave it to you.

[Bobby]

Hey, let me ask you a question. So if I get a vibrator for her tonight, right? I should just get something like a.

[Jay]

Don't say pocket rocket.

[Bobby]

Why can't I say pocket rocket?

[Jay]

Just don't get a pocket rocket.

[Bobby]

Why is. Why is a pocket. Right. Why are you the expert?

[Jay]

You were gonna buy a Yo yo, and that was also in the store. They're not.

[Bobby]

I bought. I bought gum that electrocuted you a little bit.

[Jay]

Something phallic. Yeah.

[Bobby]

How about a thing that goes in your palm and it makes it like a fart, but it's not a fart.

[Jay]

You need something phallic, like, to. You're sending a message.

[Bobby]

I'm not.

[Jay]

Put this in you.

[Bobby]

I'm not doing it.

[Jay]

But I'm saying you just get her a joy buzzer and be like. Touch your. With this. It'll probably do the same thing. You gotta get her something that you know.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Something purpley, maybe a little translucent.

[Bobby]

Purpley?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

Why purpley?

[Jay]

I think girls like the purple.

[Bobby]

Why? Hey, I don't know.

[Jay]

They're better athletes.

[Bobby]

Christine's looking at all stuff right now. Christine, what are you. What is your suggestion? Not that thing. What is that? I saw that at Brookstones.

[Jay]

That is going to be her suggestion, I think.

[Bobby]

No, I can't get her that.

[Christine]

Something like that.

[Bobby]

What's that? That looks like a spoon and a dildo.

[Jay]

No, the look go up.

[Bobby]

I'm not getting it.

[Jay]

She.

[Bobby]

No, she doesn't like stuff go up.

[Jay]

I was gonna say that.

[Bobby]

Going her butt.

[Jay]

Right. Right there. Wait, on the right. All the way on the right there.

[Bobby]

Which one?

[Jay]

Down.

[Bobby]

That.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Christine]

That's really small. It's a micro.

[Bobby]

What is it?

[Jay]

I mean, it's gonna.

[Christine]

I'll do the trick.

[Jay]

It's gonna fit in a fist and it's 80 fucking bucks.

[Bobby]

Okay. But that looks like just a massager. And that just goes on the clitoris. Because that's the thing Patrice used in Brazil.

[Jay]

Of course. Yeah.

[Bobby]

That's what he taught us.

[Jay]

He didn't. He taught you that?

[Bobby]

Dude, we all were in class. Dr. Dildo.

[Jay]

How do you not know this?

[Bobby]

It was a session.

[Jay]

No, this thing. Yeah. This is what this is like, women's, like, go to, essentially.

[Bobby]

No, I know. This is the one. That's the one. He used this to. To make them come. He put down a clitoris. He put the glass dildo in the vagina.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

And he put that on clitoris. And when he put that on the clitoris, you know, say clitoris again.

[Jay]

Clitoris. Yeah, it is. It is ugly the way you say it.

[Bobby]

Why is it ugly? The way I say it so many times, but then the clitoris sounds like a car brand. Why do you say it's ugly? That hurts my feelings. Why are you gonna say the way I say it is ugly?

[Jay]

No, no. The way you say it makes it sound ugly.

[Bobby]

I know. I don't like that.

[Jay]

I think I'd say the clitoris that you're talking about.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

I don't want to see it.

[Bobby]

Clitoris.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

How should I say it?

[Jay]

You're saying it the way you say it.

[Bobby]

Clitoris.

[Jay]

Clitoris.

[Bobby]

Clitoris. I don't like that. That's stupid.

[Jay]

That is uglier, baby.

[Bobby]

Yeah, Clitoris is uglier. It sounds like a fucking baby squid.

[Jay]

A clitoris. Hey, is that you said about people throwing squid on the ice? That happens, right?

[Bobby]

Is it squid? Yeah, I think it's squid. They throw squid or something on ice.

[Jay]

How do you get a fucking squid out?

[Bobby]

How do you get a squid in the game?

[Jay]

Yeah, it's in your shirt.

[Bobby]

Or they probably put it in a bag and stuff it down their pants.

[Jay]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby]

And throw it in. Right.

[Jay]

What a goddamn nightmare.

[Bobby]

They throw a lot of stuff in hockey games on the ice to up the game.

[Jay]

So dangerous. They're skating on ice.

[Bobby]

Yeah, well, that's. I don't know if they do it anymore because they, you know, they didn't let you have a open bottle of. They didn't take your caps off your bottle of water. Now you can't throw anything on the fact that a guy got a dildo and it's hilarious. Into the wnb. But if they don't. You think it was hiding his wife?

[Jay]

All right, honey, queef it out. Now's the time. I really don't think we should be doing this. These girls are just doing their best to live their dreams.

[Bobby]

Oh, that would suck if it smelled. If they went to pick it up and it was slimy.

[Jay]

Fuck. God damn it.

[Bobby]

It's octopus. Octopus. Yeah, it was octopus they throw on the ice.

[Jay]

But has it happened a lot?

[Bobby]

Yeah, seems to. Yeah.

[Jay]

Where do you get it?

[Bobby]

You get octopus at the store. At the seafood store? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay]

It's alive.

[Bobby]

No, it's dead.

[Jay]

Oh, it's dead.

[Bobby]

Yeah. They stood octopus on the ice. This is an ad by BetterHelp. There's so many things you can do to become healthy physically and mentally, you do affirmations. You can read books. How do you know what actually works for you? With the Internet and information overload about all this crazy stuff, every real, every famous per, every podcast pitching you an idea to make your life better, this is what you need to do. You need to talk to somebody. Talking is as old as time. Having somebody to let it out on, give you advice, guide you and listen just to get it off your plate. Talking to a live therapist can get you personalized recommendations and help you break through all the noise and let it out. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. I love BetterHelp. I love talking to somebody who's neutral. Look, it's convenient, too. That's why I love it. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, plus switch therapists anytime you want. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp our listeners, you get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com bonfire. That's B E T T E-R-H-E-L-P.com bonfire.

[Jay]

Hi, I'm Dolvette Quince.

[Bobby]

One way to help manage type 2 diabetes is to regularly exercise.

[Jay]

My exercise program can help get you.

[Bobby]

Into a routine that works for you. Keep in mind, managing blood sugar also takes the right diet. Hi, I'm celebrity chef Franklin Becker. Ever since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I've adapted my cooking style without sacrificing flavor. If you want to learn more tips.

[Jay]

About diet and exercise, visit my type.

[Bobby]

2 transformation.com.

[Jay]

Guys, you know, running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need, and they're all so expensive. And since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo. That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software, and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software. So you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it. Right? But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini Mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is, why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's o d o o.com odoo.com ever.

[Bobby]

Pick a vacation spot based on where you don't need a phrasebook? With Babbel, the language barrier no longer has to hold you back. Start speaking a new language with confidence thanks to Babbel's conversation based techniques that quickly teaches you useful words and phrases about the things you actually talk about in the real world. There's over a dozen languages available to learn at your own pace. So you can achieve your goals with material tailored to your individual proficiency level, interest and time availability. I love it. I'll tell you why. The dialogue practice part of it is awesome, but it has games, which makes it fun. It's not this learning thing that makes you feel guilty when you don't do it. You actually want to do it. Sentence building, the spelling, reinforcement. And the languages are awesome. German, Spanish, Italian, French. I'm learning Spanish and Italian right now. Babbel is my favorite app on my phone. Learn another language. Babel is gifting our listeners 55 off subscriptions at babel.com bonfire get up to 55% off at babbel.com bonfire spelled b a b b e l.com bonfire babbel.com bonfire rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, they throw a bunch of shit.

[Jay]

On ice and what does it represent? The octopus.

[Bobby]

I don't fucking know, dude.

[Jay]

Really?

[Bobby]

No. Yeah. Some weird.

[Jay]

If you look up what the octopus.

[Bobby]

Means, here comes the guy. Ready?

[Jay]

Boom. It's bad luck. I don't know. Can you. Yeah. Look up what the meaning of that is. Look at this tard.

[Bobby]

And this dummy's on camera. And he put it on social media.

[Jay]

Hey, I did it. I did that thing.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Probably gonna get lots of trouble for. He wasn't getting laid. Either way, dude, he's fine.

[Bobby]

I love that.

[Christine]

Detroit.

[Jay]

It's at a Detroit Red Wings game is a tradition stemming from the 52 Stanley cup playoffs. They started. They started the practice to symbolize the eight wins needed to win the Stanley cup at the time, mirroring the octopus's eight arms. What a terrible reason to do something so gross.

[Bobby]

Yeah, the dildo one was way better.

[Jay]

Yeah. Throw a dildo at hockey games. If you get a stick to the ice, that Would be so funny. Please start throwing the suction cup ones now.

[Bobby]

If they got a dildo that was the other team's color, that'd be hilarious too.

[Jay]

Do you think dawn is going to be a lay down, stretch out or in the shower situation? Won't be in the shower.

[Bobby]

No water. I. We were in the years ago in my 47th street apartment with the greatest shower I've ever had. Yeah, we're in there to christen the shower. And I was in there doing all my tricks.

[Jay]

Your moves.

[Bobby]

And she. She at one point, 20 something. And she's like, I don't like it in the water. I'm like, you couldn't have said something before I got carpal tunnel syndrome. You couldn't have 23 minutes ago, maybe.

[Jay]

She's like, I hated this. Two minutes in.

[Bobby]

Ugh. It was terrible. So we've never in the shower.

[Jay]

Okay, so she's not a. She's not.

[Bobby]

Not a water person.

[Jay]

Person.

[Bobby]

Okay, now she is a tub person. But we don't have a tub anymore.

[Jay]

Yeah, not in the tiny house.

[Bobby]

None that.

[Jay]

No, we're talking tiny house, right?

[Bobby]

We're talking tiny house. We have no tub. And she'd have to do it when we're all out fishing or something. You know, hey, I'll see you guys later.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

Which is, you know, up in the loft, it is very comfortable. The loft is sexy, man. Up in that loft with. We have a skylight over the loft, so, you know, the sun's coming in.

[Jay]

I don't know about whacking it in direct sunlight is.

[Bobby]

No, it's not coming in. It's. It's usually. It comes the way the sun comes across, so it's usually coming at diagonal, so you're never in the sun. So if she's in the middle of the bed, she'd be fine. Nice and comfortable. Pull that shade back.

[Jay]

Too bright?

[Bobby]

No, there's no. It's not bright. It's never gets sunny. Sunny. You know what I mean? It's not like the sun is shooting in like a laser beam. Stop making that face. Look at me. Listen to me. There's no sun. Get the sun out of your face. You're being a negative Nelly. Forget the sun. Move on.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Bobby]

There's no sun. It's beautiful.

[Jay]

It's evening.

[Bobby]

It's.

[Jay]

We just make it. Can we just make it to sunset even now?

[Bobby]

You know what? You're right.

[Jay]

Gonna be the evening.

[Bobby]

I love that.

[Jay]

Sun's gone.

[Bobby]

You couldn't give up the Sunday.

[Jay]

I can't not See, I'm seeing Dawn be annoyed by, like, the dust she sees in the sun that's just floating around. She's gonna, like, take her out of it.

[Bobby]

She sees a little cobweb. I gotta get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay]

It's taking her out of it.

[Bobby]

Yeah. No. All right, so it's. It's. It's early evening.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Bobby]

We're still fishing. We're gone for hours. We're not coming up till the sun's gone.

[Jay]

So she could see without lights being on, but.

[Bobby]

Yeah, it's.

[Jay]

It's going down. Yes. Or it's more orange in the sky than it is.

[Bobby]

Not even orange. It's. It's kind of like. Like gray orange. Like, it's purpley. Yeah, purpley.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Bobby]

She's up in that queen bed in the middle of it, stretched out. Dogs downstairs, lying down. She's not up there because that's uncomfortable. I don't want a picture Doodles up there staring weird. Yeah, Staring weird.

[Jay]

And if it's like, maybe Doodles gets thrown in the bathroom for a couple minutes.

[Bobby]

No, no, she's. Just stay. She's downstairs. She doesn't come up. She doesn't come up. Why are you making the face? Why now? What do we have to adjust?

[Jay]

Just. I'm trying to picture myself being d. It's evening. Everything's right. No dust in the sunlight. But now no cobwebs. But she just hears Doodles go. And then she thinks, like, is that about me? She knows I'm here. Needs something, has to go out. It'll take you out of it.

[Bobby]

Yeah, that's my dead mother. She knows what I'm about to do.

[Jay]

Absolutely.

[Bobby]

All right, so we put her. How about this? Doodles outside on the leash in the backyard.

[Jay]

Dog run.

[Bobby]

She's on the back lawn. Yeah. Just chilling, surveying.

[Jay]

The Doodles is outside.

[Bobby]

She's outside enjoying herself.

[Jay]

What's the wildlife situation up there?

[Bobby]

God damn it.

[Jay]

So I'll tell you what. I'll take you out. This dude's gonna bark a bunch at other animals.

[Bobby]

Yeah, this is wildlife. Yeah. She might be barking, and you gotta.

[Jay]

Check to make sure it's not being attacked.

[Bobby]

It could be a bear. It could be a coyote. We have a very big coyote. And coyotes in New Hampshire are bigger because the coyotes in New Hampshire mated with the Canadian wolf. So it's a bigger coyote.

[Jay]

Why can't you take Doodles so she could have a little bit of time by herself?

[Bobby]

I'm on the kayak, though. Am I taking her on the kayak? Fishing. I'm fishing from the side like I'm land fishing.

[Jay]

I know. And everyone's already staring you because you're fishing with your wife's dildo fishing rod.

[Bobby]

But they're staring at me. Not in a bad way. They're like, where do I get one?

[Jay]

They're like, yo, where do I get. There's some good torque on that.

[Bobby]

Thing is. That thing has.

[Jay]

Get some good snap on.

[Bobby]

There's like a laser. All right, so I don't know where Doodles is. I said I. Doodles is with me. Me and Max didn't go fishing. We went on a hike.

[Jay]

No, don't listen. You can't not go fishing. I cannot do what you love because you have to make it okay for your wife.

[Bobby]

I know what we did. I know what we did.

[Jay]

What?

[Bobby]

We went down to the beach at the association, and we were fishing off of the swim platform, which we do in the water. And Doodles is with us. She swims out to the swim platform sometimes.

[Jay]

Dad, why isn't mom here?

[Bobby]

Mom's up relaxing. Dude, we're fishing. It's man time.

[Jay]

But we don't get to do this too often. It would mean a lot to me if she was here.

[Bobby]

If she doesn't want to fish with us. Dude, it's man time.

[Jay]

She doesn't want to fish with me?

[Bobby]

No, she doesn't like to fish. You know that your mom hates fishing.

[Jay]

But she likes spending time with me, right?

[Bobby]

Yeah, but. Yeah. Listen, Maxi. Maxi, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Maxi. Max, look at me. Look at me. I don't like.

[Jay]

I don't like. This is falling the pieces. This is falling the pieces. Okay. What are we doing? Doodles.

[Bobby]

Okay, Doodles. Bathroom.

[Jay]

What are we doing with doodles?

[Bobby]

Let's just put peanut butter on a pussy and let those lick.

[Jay]

Bobby, now you took me out of it.

[Bobby]

Let's just cut to the chase. I don't need to buy her shit. I'm gonna get her a jar of Jiffy Smooth and Creamy Doodles. Work her over. Just let Doodles work her over upstairs. You know, dawn has that sound disease that would bug her.

[Jay]

Stop looking at me.

[Christine]

Well, Bobby, if you get her this, it's not going to take that much time.

[Bobby]

What is it? Get her what?

[Christine]

This one?

[Bobby]

You think I should get her that for the time she hasn't? Listen, she has nothing up there.

[Jay]

Really? No, she has stuff home.

[Bobby]

Oh, yeah. I went through the draw today.

[Jay]

Really?

[Christine]

How do you know? She just. You don't know her hiding Are you taking it?

[Jay]

Were you taking inventory for homeowners insurance?

[Bobby]

I was putting in my butt and throwing my legs over my head and sucking on it. How do you think I come.

[Jay]

That was how I thought. That is the way. No, Christine, read the 17 ratings on this some. Here, let me read a couple of these.

[Bobby]

Jacob, how many vibrators do you have.

[Jay]

For me? No. How many do you own? I didn't have to. What you use them for? I don't own any. Not a one. You rent them.

[Bobby]

You rent. You can rent vibrators down there.

[Jay]

That's a weird place.

[Bobby]

Is that. Is that microphone A slash microphone slash vibrator. Is that what the lights are for?

[Jay]

Oh, Jacob. What did that evil. You bought that? You bought that? Did you buy that microphone at a Curiosity's antique place? And it's putting you inside of the microphone?

[Bobby]

All right, what is it? What's the review? Five star review.

[Jay]

Five star review. Adorable size and perfect amount of power.

[Bobby]

Three star.

[Jay]

Okay. Small and helpful. Three stars. Only this little guy is helpful when used with other tools. Bobby, my suggestion. You got to get a dildo for the inside, this thing for the outside. It could be more powerful, charges well and reaches. Otherwise hard to reach spots I would recommend to a friend.

[Bobby]

Can I ask your girlfriend something or your lady friend?

[Jay]

Can I do one more review?

[Bobby]

Sure.

[Jay]

Because these are all coming in five. There's got to be some bad ones in here. First time vibrator user. Now I understand why everyone gushes, no pun intended, over the magic wand. The micro wand size is perfect for me to use it in the bed before I fall asleep. It's also practical beyond use for self pleasure. I can use it on sore muscles that I have at the end of the day.

[Bobby]

What a fucking smelly elbow that lady has.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah, look, she's from Amesbury, Massachusetts.

[Bobby]

I know where that is. I was at a Jewish camp there. Camp Power Crest.

[Jay]

Definitely passed.

[Bobby]

I was a lifeguard.

[Jay]

And nice and quiet. That's big.

[Bobby]

That is big in a tiny house. Yeah, yeah.

[Jay]

Small packs a decent punch. Now how beat up is Donna? Because she might need the full size. I would say Christine's a full sizer. I wouldn't waste her time with this micro job. Why?

[Bobby]

Is your lady friend something, of course, Jacob, on your. On your. What size do you use?

[Jay]

Well, if I had to pick, I mean, I guess there's the. The smallest one.

[Bobby]

Okay. All right, great.

[Jay]

I don't.

[Bobby]

Okay. Okay. Just. I just wanted to ask.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Bobby]

So the small one would be good now. Now you gotta Understand this. Her, she's very sensitive down there. Very sensitive. So I can't get the big crazy one. She's very. She's always been sensitive. And the ones that I've gotten her, that she's loved and a little tiny with no little, you know, no balls on it.

[Jay]

So that one's pretty good, then. Looking. The mini.

[Bobby]

Yeah, that mini one looks all right. And we don't have a lot of.

[Jay]

Space up there until you come in. You see Max using it on his low back?

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

This is rules.

[Bobby]

I did. I went golfing today. This thing's the best. And it feels good in your ass, too, dude.

[Jay]

Yeah, if. You know, if you put on your balls when you whack it, it feels great. Son, please.

[Bobby]

You know, this thing smells like Mom's knee.

[Jay]

Magic wand Micro.

[Bobby]

Now, is that. Can you get me that on Amazon so I get it delivered to the tiny house tomorrow? I wish I could do that by tomorrow.

[Jay]

Oh, look it up on Prime.

[Bobby]

Prime, baby. I'm prime for sure. Get that tomorrow, deliver to the house, and I'll. Maybe I'll throw it on her. You know what I mean? I'll. I'll put a. Maybe a YouTube video up there. Maybe some XRP video on her face, and I'll go down there, and you're.

[Jay]

Gonna check your finances while you vibrate your wife. What's with the double key system? Because I am enjoying that it's showing the size. It's for reference.

[Bobby]

Oh, it is really tiny. Oh, I want that one. That one's good.

[Christine]

That's what it is.

[Bobby]

I want that. Is that on Amazon?

[Christine]

Yeah, that's the micro, but it's not on Prime.

[Bobby]

What?

[Christine]

So the earliest it says is August 4th, but I think they have it at the store downtown.

[Bobby]

Are you on prime, though? Can you. Did you say prime?

[Christine]

Well, it would show up here. Like, it would show up on the item, but I'll sign in.

[Bobby]

Send me that. I want to get. I'll get that for. That'd be a good one. Nice little tiny house. A tiny vibrator for a tiny house.

[Jay]

Now you're saying don't think you need a dildo, too.

[Bobby]

Well, I mean, listen, dude, you're the pro.

[Jay]

With Dusty Slay coming in, I think he's probably good at picking dildos now.

[Bobby]

I don't think so. I don't think he's comfortable even talking about dildos.

[Jay]

Then we'll get. Then let's finish this here.

[Bobby]

He might be.

[Jay]

Probably not.

[Bobby]

What if he was really into dildos?

[Jay]

Oh, man. I Was hoping we're gonna talk about dildos.

[Bobby]

Hey, man, before I got found Jesus, I was really into dildos, man. I had my own dildo merch.

[Jay]

Oh, 3.8 over there. Let me see some of those reviews, Christine. Now some of these people have.

[Bobby]

But those. Out of four, right? Not five. Is it five stars? No, this is five.

[Jay]

No, it's five.

[Christine]

Is it.

[Bobby]

I can't see what's going. Wait, wait.

[Christine]

I'm trying to get down to the reviews.

[Jay]

Wait, you could just click the reviews.

[Bobby]

It's.

[Jay]

That's a. I'm a massage that does NRT neural reset therapy. And I believe Dr. What's his face. Dr. Larry Nasser shows that the reset button is inside your. Usually I carry a full size magic wand. This is the size of my hand. It's rechargeable. It's light enough to carry in my purse. I did take over. It did take over a month to get here. That's bad. But I have it now and it works perfectly for my massage. Go down, Christine. I'd like to see a bad review. We want to see what's going on. There we go. Seller's not helpful. Not mad about that. Does after about. Hang on. Bought this used maybe a handful of times. After six, seven months, it just stopped taking a charge at all. Replaced it via the manufacturer warranty. You call it a manufacturer warranty. In on your dildo, you. What a pig.

[Bobby]

Goddamn.

[Jay]

It's a guy.

[Bobby]

It's a guy. What a hoe. Nickel chaser.

[Jay]

It broke in my butt. Good God, I hate this thing. Tiny says it seems obvious. Five stars. That's David Nielsen. These people have crazy. Are you looking up some. Oh, dildos. Also dildos. Yes. I wonder if you can get a not brand magic wand, though.

[Bobby]

You can buy a dildo on Amazon if you go.

[Christine]

If you go down to the store, you can buy them at Target.

[Bobby]

Now that one realistic dildo looks like my dick.

[Jay]

No, it doesn't. And I'll tell you this.

[Bobby]

You've never seen my dick. You cannot say that.

[Jay]

Doesn't matter.

[Bobby]

That's my dick. You can't say that.

[Jay]

I've imagined it a thousand times. It's not that. First of all, what does it look like? First of all, calling that one a realistic dildo is crazy unrealistic.

[Bobby]

Why does that not look like my dick? I want to hear what you think my dick looks like.

[Jay]

Smaller than that.

[Bobby]

That hurt.

[Jay]

That's a humongous. Dude.

[Bobby]

Why can't I. Why do I not have a humongous.

[Jay]

Well, wait a Second. Can I say something?

[Bobby]

What?

[Jay]

That one right there says it's only five inches and that looks huge.

[Christine]

Yeah, that's the one.

[Bobby]

That's my dick right there.

[Jay]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby]

You think I have a.

[Jay]

That one's mine right there. The pink one.

[Bobby]

That's not yours.

[Jay]

Your mom said you had a big dick.

[Bobby]

I do have a big dick. Jay thinks I have a smile.

[Jay]

She was a baby.

[Bobby]

That's not true.

[Jay]

No, he's really. Your mom's checking out your dick all the time.

[Bobby]

Once a year we do a dick thing. And my family, the Dolan's, have a dick checking function.

[Jay]

I believe you do have a. I.

[Bobby]

Have a. I have a.

[Jay]

At least a five inch penis.

[Bobby]

I have a six and a half inch dick.

[Jay]

There you go.

[Bobby]

Maybe. Actually, maybe seven.

[Jay]

Nope.

[Bobby]

Maybe six and a quarter.

[Jay]

Okay.

[Bobby]

Maybe six and three quarters. No, no, dude, I want to put it in your mouth.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby]

If I put it in your mouth.

[Jay]

I can handle six and three quarters.

[Bobby]

Yeah, I bet. I. If I. If I put my dick in your mouth and you go.

[Jay]

If I gag.

[Bobby]

If you gag at all.

[Jay]

You're seven inches.

[Bobby]

You're so. God, I want to do this.

[Jay]

What are we waiting for? There's Derek, the eight inch dildo with a suction cup. Now, Bobby.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

May I suggest a suction cup lifestyle because it looks more fun.

[Bobby]

No, I can't because we're in the tiny house in a loft. No. No way. You gonna suction cup it.

[Jay]

Here's the thing.

[Christine]

Imagine if Max saw that in the shower. They accidentally lift it up.

[Jay]

But here's the thing. The suction cup, you don't have to actually use the suction cup. You can. What the. Christ. That was pristine. Yeah, you. The suction cup acts as like a pop socket. So you can really fire it in and out of your own because you see how it's like a pop socket.

[Bobby]

You say pop socket. Like. I know what a pop socket is.

[Jay]

You know, on the back of the cell phones forever. The thing that like you can slide. Your hand pulls up.

[Bobby]

Oh, I get you. Okay. Oh, you're being a.

[Jay]

It's like that.

[Bobby]

I got you. Okay. Yeah.

[Jay]

And so you could take that and really, like once you get super wet, you can really slam that some back and forth in there.

[Christine]

I feel like if you want to do a dildo vibrator combo, you just do the Rabbit.

[Jay]

That is the. That is the one.

[Bobby]

The Rabbit is the one.

[Christine]

That's the one.

[Bobby]

I know, but I've got her. That and I've never seen it well.

[Jay]

Look at the different kinds. Like the rumbly one.

[Bobby]

I've never seen it used. I know. The. The little tiny one. One. She likes the little one.

[Jay]

How about the thrusting one?

[Bobby]

Nope.

[Jay]

The one that pounds in and out.

[Bobby]

She does. I think. No, you have to put something in the vagina while you do the vibration.

[Jay]

Right. This does both.

[Christine]

Whoa, wait, but wait.

[Bobby]

What.

[Christine]

What did you just say?

[Jay]

In your. While you're massaging something inside, you need.

[Bobby]

To be get something inside and the couture stimulation at the same time.

[Christine]

Who needs that?

[Bobby]

Well, most girls like that. Both, right? You want both. What do you need?

[Christine]

Like, but you don't need.

[Bobby]

I know, I know. You don't need it. You don't need anything.

[Jay]

Does this does both.

[Bobby]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christine]

I mean this is.

[Jay]

Would you use this without putting it inside ever in your life?

[Christine]

Oh, no, no. I had this. I was. I had a problem. It was a problem.

[Bobby]

Why? It was too big.

[Christine]

It's just amazing. The best thing that's ever happened to a vagina.

[Bobby]

Oh, you almost just left Jay.

[Christine]

No, this was years ago. My ex boyfriend got me one. I just like, eventually I was like, no more rabbit. I had to like give it up.

[Bobby]

Really? Like me and Ani.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I was like, this is. I just want to stay just like that.

[Bobby]

Really?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

So that there's a whole Sex in.

[Christine]

The City episode about. They have to like go get Charlotte because she's just wants to stay in bed with her.

[Bobby]

So why don't I just get the rabbit?

[Christine]

Well, you said you already did and she doesn't like it.

[Bobby]

Well, I mean, years ago. It was years ago. Maybe she'll like it now.

[Jay]

Let's see if you can get that on prime. See if that's a thrusting rabbit.

[Bobby]

Yeah, they have one.

[Christine]

I. I say go with the. Whatever the regular one is.

[Bobby]

Yeah, regular rabbit. I don't wanna. I don't want to go crazy.

[Jay]

It's a. That's got every other one's got perfect reviews. This one's the only one missing a star. A little half a star.

[Christine]

Oh, really?

[Jay]

Yes.

[Christine]

I don't know what all that.

[Bobby]

I don't want that. That looks like an alien fist.

[Christine]

You want the thrusting rabbit.

[Bobby]

What's that one?

[Jay]

That one does this inside a little bit. She doesn't have to. She doesn't have to put it in herself. We just put it in and then thrust inside of you. I get her that one.

[Bobby]

That's going to hurt her eyes.

[Christine]

The regular rabbit used to like spin a little.

[Jay]

It doesn't now.

[Bobby]

Oh, so you need the. Do they have the old one? The. The original.

[Jay]

The old spinning marble. I think they had mercury inside of them.

[Bobby]

So what? She's 50. She doesn't matter. It's like if she got ass cancer. Just ride it out.

[Jay]

Who cares? Yeah, you have ass cancer till you're dead.

[Bobby]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Jay]

Oh, look at that little toothbrush thing for the clip. It. Look at that.

[Bobby]

Oh, that is nice. What is it? Oral B?

[Jay]

Yeah, that's the question rabbit.

[Bobby]

It cleans the.

[Jay]

The favorite among women for decades. I guess the little balls are in it.

[Bobby]

So.

[Christine]

So the little is what it used to look like. Yeah, like this.

[Jay]

That was the old jammy.

[Bobby]

That looks nice. It's like a classic Corvette. Like a stingray.

[Jay]

But it would spin, which. I don't know. Is that a move that's necessary?

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Not. I mean, wait, did it spin or did it just kind of go like. It just went like that.

[Christine]

It like, went like that.

[Bobby]

And Christine.

[Christine]

I mean, it wasn't. It was fun, whatever it was doing in the back of your clip, which.

[Bobby]

I believe Christine has to kept returning hers under warranty. It's broken again. I'm sorry.

[Jay]

It made her come. Fart.

[Bobby]

Yeah. Her was smoking.

[Christine]

We had one that was. Jay actually started saying it and then didn't get.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah. Remember we had the magic wand plugin that you could plug in. And Christine was on top of me. And when we're using it, it started like the electronics went bad. And it shot sparks out of it onto my chest hair. And I had to go like, ho, ho. And you smelled that. Like that beginning smell of burning hair.

[Christine]

It was crazy. Just sparked.

[Bobby]

I was like. Christine was like, yeah, baby.

[Jay]

The top part of it, like the part that you could put on your clit, like just in the. Whatever the. It had like that popping electricity sound. And then sparks shot out all over me. By the way, I think we tried it again after that. I was like, maybe that was just like a thing.

[Bobby]

If Christine had to go to the hospital with a burnt. And you have to just explain. You have to bring.

[Jay]

Dude, she almost burned my chest hair off. It shot directly at me. She was in zero danger.

[Bobby]

Why did you have it in your chest? Were you about to suck it?

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah. No picture. She's on top of me. I'm laying down.

[Bobby]

Yes.

[Jay]

So the vibrator happening here was the sun coming in. It was. I believe when it's going down, it is dusk.

[Bobby]

Dusk.

[Jay]

It was dusk, but we were on the east side, so it was darker than it would be. On the west side.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

You are still getting the purples and stuff coming in.

[Bobby]

Okay. Yes.

[Jay]

We were on Christine's bed. And when it was in the old room now in the East Village. And we were probably quietly.

[Bobby]

No dog trying.

[Jay]

No dog at all. I didn't live there yet.

[Bobby]

Right.

[Jay]

No dog. Brian out there watching Battlestar Galactica wondering where Christine's at.

[Bobby]

Christine was like. Kept looking at a watch. I want to see this episode. There was no TiVo back then.

[Jay]

And we're trying. No, we're trying. We're trying the talk quietly.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Jay]

And then he definitely heard.

[Bobby]

It's alive.

[Jay]

Really? Yeah. Hey, you guys all right in there? Poor Brian. We would smoke out her window like teenagers and then try to set the house on fire with vibrators. So it was a dent. It was a den of Sodom.

[Bobby]

It's so funny that you didn't throw it out. That's when you weren't making a lot of money. No, like, I can't afford.

[Jay]

We gave it a few more. Truck goes. Let's see. Maybe if I don't, like, push on it too hard or something. And then, like, it just would do it again. And we eventually got. I think. I think. I think I got rid of it with like a. With like a nasty letter. I think it was like.

[Bobby]

You wrote a letter?

[Jay]

No, no. Like, you know, email or whatever.

[Christine]

Got them to send me a free rechargeable one.

[Jay]

Cordless.

[Christine]

Yeah, because of it.

[Bobby]

You didn't like that one?

[Christine]

Rechargeable.

[Bobby]

Those.

[Christine]

That was. Actually. I would never go for this myself. It was one of those, like, big ones. And it was like a gift from, like, SDR show or something. And mine had broken or whatever, so we used it. I. Those are a little intense.

[Jay]

Tents.

[Christine]

Like, who. You really don't need that.

[Jay]

You shouldn't. Whatever's touching your, you shouldn't have to hold between your tits. You should have to be holding up here for it to be touching your.

[Christine]

That really is good for, like, a neck massager.

[Bobby]

Yeah. Why was it on your chest?

[Christine]

No, the sparks flew on his chest because I was on top of them.

[Bobby]

Oh, so it was on. You had it on your clitoris.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

And you were rubbing it and it shut. But why do you. Why were you on top of him? Why was he lying down? Why was he.

[Jay]

Why?

[Bobby]

You were on top of him and he was right. What position were you in?

[Christine]

Girl on top having orgasm. Like, why is this confusing?

[Bobby]

Did you have an orgasm? Let's chill out of it.

[Jay]

Yeah, she did shot fire onto my Chest.

[Bobby]

Wait a minute.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby]

So your orgasm juice, I actually lit it on fire.

[Jay]

Couldn't tell you.

[Christine]

No, I don't think it was. Is over yet.

[Bobby]

You sure it wasn't her magic powers? When she came, she lost control of. And it just. All the electricity, the. The lights were flickering.

[Jay]

The smell of burning hair while you're is terrifying.

[Bobby]

So that's the only way you can come now, though.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I don't see any, like, real rabbits on Amazon.

[Bobby]

It's on knockoffs, so there's no real rabbits. So I'd have to go over to the dildo store. Yeah, and that's on the way back. I can pop over there.

[Jay]

There. Where are you going?

[Christine]

Down 8th Ave. Oh, I'd say go to Babeland.

[Bobby]

What's Babeland?

[Christine]

It's a nice one. Downtown.

[Bobby]

There's a nice one where Downtown?

[Jay]

How the do you know?

[Bobby]

Yeah, what the. You know. You know, good restaurants to get pho and a dildo and a dildo store.

[Jay]

I'm going, Bobby. I'm going to Crate and Bear on the dildo store.

[Bobby]

Hey, I'm gonna get pillows. I'm gonna get fought, and I'm gonna get a dildo.

[Christine]

I mean, I love this town.

[Bobby]

Yeah, I know you do.

[Jay]

Look, we have an hour show left if you want to pick your stuff out at a dildo store. It's around here. We could send Black Lou for Dawn.

[Bobby]

Yeah, but then we can. Can we try them out on Christine to see if they work?

[Jay]

Well, you can let her know when.

[Bobby]

She gets on air.

[Jay]

If she finds out. If she. If she thinks dawn will enjoy them or not.

[Bobby]

Well, she. She should. She should just try them out on air.

[Jay]

Give it a whirl.

[Christine]

I'm gonna come on air. That sounds like me.

[Jay]

I think that's how. I just got a text from Jim. It's just a thumbs up emoji.

[Bobby]

That's how Howard Stern got famous.

[Jay]

Everything's going great. Oh, boy. We have to take a break. We have a guest. Dusty Slay. Is he here? Oh, okay. Well, let me read this. Read and then we'll get him in here.

[Bobby]

He's got a new special, Wet Heat. Talking about all this dildo stuff. Wet Heat is streaming now on Netflix. Dusty Slay will be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles August 5, in Huntsville, Alabama, on August 8. After that, he'll be in Atlanta, Madison, Milwaukee, Nashville. For tickets and all the tour dates go to dustyslay.com it's always funny when you. You know, someone's doing well when the date is one Date.

[Jay]

I know and it's me. They'll be in this place six days. Yeah, you can catch Jay in your town for a full week. We'll be right back with Dusty Slay. I'm in Tacoma this weekend. We added a show 4pm Saturday. So get tickets to that or they're gonna cancel it and I'm gonna feel like shit.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Christine]

New stand up show on the fifth at the Comedy.

[Jay]

And a stand up show on the fifth. Sixth.

[Christine]

Oh, sorry, my bad.

[Jay]

Show on the sixth. 8pm show at the Comedy Store. Me and Louis Legion Skanks presents our friends and us doing stand up comedy that night. And three story wars. Two Monday, one Tuesday.

[Bobby]

And I'm gonna be fishing all week.

[Jay]

I was gonna be fishing with this new dildo fishing pole.

[Bobby]

Dildo fishing. But you believe that's the thing is now Chris, she's gonna want it. How am I gonna take the pole? She's doing it right. Damn it. Fuck.

[Jay]

You're going to have to get an extra dildo for the pole.

[Bobby]

Okay, cool.

[Jay]

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. They say if you want to go fast, go alone.

[Christine]

But if you want to go far, go together. At Ameca Insurance, we know what matters most to you. And we work even harder to protect it together. As a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Amica empathy is our best policy. Call 877-41-AMECA for a free coverage review. Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable.

[Bobby]

I had joint pain and I couldn't move like I used to. I needed relief.

[Jay]

I got Cosentyx.

[Bobby]

It helped me move better.

[Christine]

Cosentyx Secukenumab is prescribed for people 2 years of age and older with active psoriatic arthritis. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx.

[Bobby]

Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur.

[Christine]

Like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections.

[Bobby]

Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an.

[Christine]

Infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills.

[Bobby]

Muscle aches or cough, had a vaccine or planned to.

[Christine]

Or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur.

[Bobby]

Learn more at 1-844-cosentyx or cosentyx.com Ask your rheumatologist about Cosentyx.