Industrious Doof

Summary

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The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Industrious Doof
Date: April 28, 2026
Host: SiriusXM Faction Talk, Channel 103

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire brings Big Jay, Robert Kelly, and the crew back together in the New York studio, joined remotely by Jacob and Christine. Their signature blend of self-deprecating humor and candid conversation covers everything from tech conveniences (Doordash for electronics), the realities of VR gaming, and the ever-puzzling cost of delivery fees, to deep dives into pop culture, sports, and the latest chaos on reality TV. The talk turns raucous and unfiltered, especially when discussing the TV show "Euphoria", modern sex symbols, and self-image in gaming and real life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Team Reunited in Studio

[00:51-01:21]

• Jacob returns to the show, exchanging jokes with Jay and Bobby about missing each other's humor.
• Christine and Black Lou are greeted; Black Lou joins virtually, sparking jokes about his elaborate setup.

Convenience Culture and Tech Purchases

[02:13-03:56]

• Jay amazes Bobby by revealing he got a Meta Quest 3 delivered to his doorstep via Doordash, including a snow blower previously.
• Discussion that Doordash is no longer just food: “Doordash delivered my gigantic snowblower.” – Big Jay Oakerson [02:42]
• Price markups ignite debate on delivery convenience vs. cost.

Notable Quotes:

• “His white in-laws are going to be the patsies when it all goes down.” – Big Jay Oakerson about Black Lou’s “mission control” setup [01:55]
• “Are you kidding me? ... How am I going to get my soldering iron?” – Robert Kelly on the disappearance of Radio Shack [02:29]

Doordash Markups and Consumer Math

[03:43-19:23]

• Christine looks up markups: can be 40%-91% higher than retail, especially for food.
• Jay calculates his own delivered Oculus costs ($1.99 delivery, but fees push the total up).
• Group debate over how delivery markups feel justified or egregious depending on urgency and product: “As long as you had fun. That’s all that matters.” – Jacob [19:50]

Virtual Reality Gaming and Avatars

[05:04-16:02]

• Jay and Bobby reminisce about their old, heavy VR headsets and the “weird” interactions in VR movie theaters, including watching Caddyshack alongside an anonymous avatar:
  • “I was with dawn in the living room ... almost like a date with another girl.” – Robert Kelly [06:00]
• Self-image and avatars: Both comedians discuss always creating fat, out-of-shape digital characters despite technology offering “idealized” options.
  • “I can never just give myself a break. I always pick the fattest body.” – Big Jay [07:07]
• The group discusses VR games: Beat Saber, virtual fishing, and the potential pitfalls of watching VR porn on the road:
  • “Porn is dangerous.” – Robert Kelly [13:35]

Memorable/Funny Moments:

• Christine’s VR porn experience: “...just like a guy’s dick hair just starts coming at your face so weird.” – Big Jay Oakerson [11:48]
• Discussion of VR “walking planks” and friends diving into pinball machines due to immersion [22:33]

Sports: Philadelphia 76ers Playoffs

[09:26-10:51]

• Jay laments the recurring postseason health meltdowns of the 76ers’ Joel Embiid, and the team’s playoff collapse against the Celtics.
• Bobby (as a Celtics fan) enjoys the blowout; Jay disagrees with sitting starters early “Grind till the end, man.” [10:05]

Pop Culture: Reality TV Mayhem on Baddies

[28:04-34:24]

• Jay raves about the Baddies reunion show’s “no rules, all chaos” energy, incredulous that audience members engage in physical fights and immediately return to their seats: “It’s fucking dogs in a pen. It’s brilliant.” - Big Jay Oakerson [31:01]
• Clothes for "party-size" women are discussed with fascination and humor, particularly the big character “Big Dominican” and her wardrobe:
  • “It’s almost like they were thin at one point and someone got a fat gun, shot ‘em with it.” – Robert Kelly [34:25]

More on VR, Self-Image & Male Camaraderie

[20:06-22:05, 14:46-16:36]

• The possibility (and awkwardness) of shared VR porn viewing: “Can you conceivably Eiffel Tower a girl together?” – Jacob [20:14]
• VR exercise gear—the crew marvels over new “omnidirectional treadmills” for home gaming.

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Highlight: Euphoria, Sydney Sweeney, and Hollywood Sex Symbols

[45:23-61:44]

The Sydney Sweeney Debate

[45:23-51:57]

• Jay and Bobby examine Sweeney’s role in the new Euphoria season as an OnlyFans star—Jay admires her body but calls her face “doofy.”
• Jacob defends Sweeney: “She cornered the market ... and she’s got a great sense of humor. Like, she’s cool.” [47:35]
• Bobby, Jay, and Jacob agree that Sweeney succeeded by being “the only one showing nudity and acting like a beautiful woman” in a Hollywood that moved away from sex symbols.

Notable Exchange:
Jay: “She has a stupid face.” [48:47]
Bobby: “I don’t know if she has a dumb face. ... Let’s look at this ass first.” [48:48]

Sex and “Bush Fat” Tattoos

[54:27-58:08]

• The group jokes about “bush fat tattoos” and the odd appeal of a swastika-tattooed Charles Manson design spotted in Euphoria. They denounce the symbol but grudgingly admire the “placement” and artistry.
  • “In the world of tattoos, that’s a great tattoo. The placement of it, where it was, was a pretty cool tattoo.” – Big Jay Oakerson [54:45]

On Zendaya and Generational Tastes

[58:38-59:44]

• Jay and Bobby compare Zendaya to Sweeney, concluding that Zendaya is “technically prettier,” but lacks Sweeney's voluptuous body (“Sydney Sweeney, at some point those titties are going to start hitting the floor” – Jay [59:27]).

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Additional Segments & Quotes

Avatars & Virtual Selves

• “I always had a belly, fat arms.” – Robert Kelly [09:03]
• “I'd make a character and my friends ... I was a 6 foot 3, 310 pound center ... I have to, like, body up Shaq.” – Big Jay [07:41]

DoorDash Math

• “Dash it to my house.” – Robert Kelly [18:06]
• “My total price: $7.89. That’s not bad.” – Big Jay Oakerson [19:19]

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Time-Stamped Memorable Moments

• VR gaming stories and self-image: [05:00-08:50]
• Doordash and markups debate: [03:35-04:55, 16:02-19:20]
• Beat Saber and VR showdowns: [13:30-16:30, 20:00-22:00]
• Baddies Reunion chaos: [28:04-34:24]
• Group ogling Euphoria sex symbols: [45:23-54:08]
• Swastika tattoo tangent: [54:27-58:08]

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The Hosts’ Tone

• Uninhibited, candid, and full of inside jokes—often crude, occasionally touching on topics with pointed bluntness.
• Self-mocking and quick to highlight each other’s quirks and missteps.

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In Summary

“Industrious Doof” is classic Bonfire: raucous, side-tracked, and vulnerable in surprising ways. The hosts oscillate between tech and pop culture, virtual reality, NBA fandom, and the enduring appeal of beautiful women on TV—delivered with the same irreverence whether poking at their own avatars, parsing Doordash fees, or ogling Sydney Sweeney’s latest “art.”

Best enjoyed with a thick skin, an open mind, and a tolerance for honest, sometimes crude, locker-room candor.

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Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with big J

[Robert Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob's back. He's all smiles.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob smiles, man.

[Jacob]

Good to be back guys. I missed you all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ah man, were you not here.

[Robert Kelly]

Good to see you man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Double thumbs up.

[Jacob]

Miss your sense of humor. I missed that. I missed the hell out of both of you.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah man.

[Jacob]

Back in New York, Jacob, who's got

[Big Jay Oakerson]

a smile on his face and two thumbs.

[Jacob]

This guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Hey Christine, Good to see you.

[Christine]

Jacob. Bright and shiny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black Lou not in studio today. From where I'm looking at him, I think he's in the U. N. Or something. He's landing planes or something over there. Jesus Christ, what a setup.

[Robert Kelly]

He's flying drones for America in Iran right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We have the meat.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, look at that screen. That black Lou has a seven foot screen to match his seven foot wingspan. Yep.

[Jacob]

This isn't even the T. The TV wall is what you can't see. He has a bank of TVs.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's running some type of illegal bedding or some shit. There's no reason to have that. Look at the size of that, that computer screen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His white in laws are going to be the patsies when it all goes down. I don't know. He's gonna be like, I don't know. I have no idea.

[Jacob]

That's the smallest monitor in that room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, I had a feeling my father in law was a crazy psychotic bookie.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes to best buy. He goes, how big do you want your monitor? He takes his penis out. This big. Yeah, I want it this big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, your mind was just blown by me by informing you I got a quest three delivered right to my house. Didn't have to go anywhere.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I don't understand that though. I thought you had to go to like Best buy or Radio Shack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can door Radio Shack's gone, buddy. What? I'm sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you kidding me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry. You're not gonna be able to build your own Radio Flyer now.

[Robert Kelly]

How am I gonna get my soldering iron?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He goes, what about that no name RC car I wanted?

[Robert Kelly]

Where am I gonna get my boat?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Am I getting a drone from a company called Bill's Drones? Buddy. Doordash. I don't know if Uber Eats will do this. Uber Eats will do drugstore for you, but Doordash will. Doordash delivered my gigantic snowblower.

[Robert Kelly]

How do you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I doordashed it.

[Robert Kelly]

But how did you figure that out? I thought it was just food.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was looking up the snow blowers.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I was looking them up and one of them had an option on doordash, and I was like, that's impossible. And you look and it's like, yeah, within the next four hours, it'll be at your house.

[Robert Kelly]

How much does it cost to get? Must be so much more.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think so.

[Robert Kelly]

Love that we both have to look at women when we ask how much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look up. Look up what the percentage is.

[Robert Kelly]

It's got to be a high percentage to go to. You got to go to a Best Buy and get it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When we got the snowblower and it showed up, I'd already changed my mind. Christine said to the guy, he goes, yeah, I don't think we're going to do it. Can you bring it back? And he went, no, he just left it there. I'm like, I guess we have it now and then. It sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna buy it off you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm gonna give it to you.

[Robert Kelly]

I wanna buy it off you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna take one of your shovels.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna give you a shovel. And buy what? How much? Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Christine]

40 to 91% higher.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that all?

[Robert Kelly]

Do me a favor, Jay. Next time you want one, hire me. I'll do it for like 25 bucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't know that. Well, look, here's the thing.

[Jacob]

That's insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, here's the good thing. Guess who's got themselves a meta quest at the house and didn't have to go out?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. But guess who has a Best Buy down the street in Wayne.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Down the street?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It's not far too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not far.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, it's ten minutes away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But Bobby, they brought it right to my house in a Best Buy bag.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that.

[Jacob]

But, dude, with a hundred percent markup, that's all. How could you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't Know is how.

[Jacob]

But you did know it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It just says the price. I'll be a caviar on my life. On my life. It was like ordering food. And I swear to you, for the snowblower and this, I would assume the fee was somewhere around seven to ten bucks.

[Jacob]

You're paying double the amount for the food when you have it ordered, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, that's not true.

[Jacob]

For food delivery, it's.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Jacob]

Can you look that up?

[Robert Kelly]

You don't have food delivered Never.

[Jacob]

No, but I've looked that up. It's. You're paying, I think, 50, 15 or 30% more.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's way less that 40 to 100%. That's nuts, man. But listen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, Guess who was playing Beat Saber this morning? Not you guys.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but it's right down the street. You know how excited that guy went with someone ordered a. Yeah, I'll take that job. That's a. That's 400 in my pocket. It's right on the street. No, maybe. You know what? You deserve it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Should I brave the hell I. If I would have never known that. Not gonna live the rest of my life never knowing that. It's totally fine.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know why I didn't even create the possibility of that. But, man, I forgot how fun quest can be. And now it's so much better. I had the original early one.

[Robert Kelly]

I had the original one too. And I loved.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was black.

[Robert Kelly]

It was black big. It was heavy on your head. You would sweat. Do you know I told you during the pandemic, I would go to. I would go watch movies with strangers in theaters.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Strange.

[Christine]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's weird behavior.

[Robert Kelly]

I remember I was. I mean, this. I was with dawn in the living room on a. Almost like a date with another girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Strange.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't. I mean, I don't know her. I. Her. Her emoji was a girl, her avatar, her avatar. So I'm in there with a bunch of people watching a movie, Caddyshack. And I'm in the theater, and they were. They were throwing popcorn at her. And then she came over and sat next to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Like, I don't know. Whatever. And then I just. I remember just looking over and she waved, and I waved back. And then we just sat and watched Caddyshack together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just know she was fat.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, she was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was so fat. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

She was fat. And he probably.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, she was so fat.

[Robert Kelly]

Probably Lewis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Shim was fat. I.

[Jacob]

You're wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I made my Avatar. I'll tell you what, every creative character I've ever made in my life, which was, I guess only fighting games, I've done that. Like the wrestling, UFC or stuff like that where I've gone after. I do it with a couple of, like. I make cool characters. Sometimes I'll make a me. And I can never just give myself a break. I always pick the fattest body.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pale. I make my face fucking fat at the bottom.

[Robert Kelly]

Like you picked the pear face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I picked the pear face. Pineapple head, my daughter would call it. I would do that every time. And then what would get annoying was in the UFC games, they got better too. As you get better and train and move with the fire, they just start making you get in shape. Kinda like your character starts getting more in shape and you're like, stop, this isn't me. I'm trying to make this me. When I would do basketball games, I'd make myself when I was young and I'd make a character and my friends and make those the Sixers. I was a. You know, I did it like how we played in life. So I was a 6 foot 3, 310 pound center. So I have to like body up Shaq.

[Robert Kelly]

It's weird because I always did the same. I never gave myself hair. I would never give myself hair. I always put my dumb glasses on. I would put a goatee on or some stupid facial hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just wouldn't make my. I won't get myself and just go. Just make your.

[Robert Kelly]

Just give your.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I tell. It goes today for the quest. It goes. Do you want to make from a selfie? I go, sure. So I made a duck face and took a selfie. And then it goes. Making your avatar. And then I just made like a handsome. It looked like fucking Frank Grillo.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, that's what it sees you as. You can keep that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No way. So then I went into the Change it and I made. I picked the fattest body humanly possible. I went to the thing I bought so it would look like me. A black hoodie, jeans, get a little bit of rips in the jeans, a little bit of me and some boots.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay bought an outfit for a fucking avatar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had to buy an outfit. It was crazy, the things they were offering me.

[Jacob]

I wouldn't allow myself to be tall and like that either. I would be like the white spud web.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a sham. Yeah. You're like, I can't.

[Jacob]

I can't look at myself and pretend that's me.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Why can't you do that though. I can't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd rather. That's why I always just play.

[Robert Kelly]

I always had a belly fat arms.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What I always do, though, I say, I'll do that in the fighting games, but I don't make like. That's why with the sports games, everyone's like, oh, you're. Your character must be awesome. Like, I've never made a character in those games. I play with the current Philadelphia Eagles and try to win the Super Bowl. I play with the current Philadelphia 76ers and try to win the. The championship.

[Jacob]

Can I hang on? Sorry. Sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay, weird times.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Happened. I don't know what. Yeah, I don't know what this guy's allergic to the playoffs for. It seems like every time the playoffs come up, this guy's got something in his body explodes. What the fuck is wrong? What is wrong with his Cameroonian insides? Why could this guy, he finally came back, he was averaging 30 points because he came back for like the last like 20 some games and he was averaging 30 some points and rebounds. And then two games before the playoffs, it's like he had to have emergency appendix surgery. Appendix surgery?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

You guys got fucking hammered yesterday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what, it's a bad sign when like I started fast forwarding at a point because I was like, I'm not going to put myself through this. When it was down like 25, when I in the, I mean 10 minutes left, 8 minutes maybe in the fourth quarter, all backups, players I've never even heard of before on the floor and you're like, come on, man. They like I say in the playoffs, I know you don't want to get anybody hurt. Grind till the end, man. Like, I don't know if you tuck your tail with eight minutes left.

[Robert Kelly]

At least eight minutes is a long time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you guys, they weren't coming back 30 points. But eight minutes is long enough that it's like look like you're giving a shit till there's three minutes left.

[Robert Kelly]

But you could have, you could have psychologically up the Celtics by coming back

[Big Jay Oakerson]

and making a run for it a little.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you could have, but you didn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby goes. The game was exciting for me. I went exciting be the wrong word. If that was flip side. I wouldn't call it an exciting game. I would call it a blowout. It was cool. It was fun to watch. Yeah, but excite, there's zero excitement. There was no edge of your seat in that at all.

[Robert Kelly]

But I'm a fan, fan, fan, fans don't like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like blowouts. You walk away.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we like blowouts. So we just want to win.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop. Put on something else. When there's eight minutes left, he's like, well, they gave up. What do I got to keep watching?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we just want to win in the first quarter. That's it. Yeah. Dude, the. The thing with this Oculus Quest, you gotta be careful of what is bringing it on the road.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna bring it on the road this weekend particularly.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, don't watch porn on it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I don't care about that. When we had the first Oculus, we tried this, remember? It was to look at it. It was so funny. I thought it was. I don't get it. Lewis was like, I had to stop doing it. Because he was like, I'm into it too much. I'm like, I think it's the dumbest thing ever. I didn't understand it. But the funny one was when I set one up for Christine, a girl. Like, a porn for a girl.

[Robert Kelly]

She started licking the air.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Started laughing because it just happens, right? Just like a guy's like, dick hair just starts coming at your face so weird. Like. And I'm like. And she was like, what am I supposed to do? Like, open my mouth for a fucking fake? Like, put something in my mouth, like, act like I'm sucking this guy's cock.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What a weird movement. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it gay to virtually suck a no. You tell me. From experience? No, I don't think so. Doesn't seem like it to me.

[Robert Kelly]

I sat on my couch all day in a hotel room fishing and jerking off with Oculus Quest, and then I had to go home and go, hey, go, Max. You can have this back. You would fish, buddy. I fished for two hours on the couch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a fishing game.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's really the waiting game.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you just kind of sit there. I have my drink. I have my drink, and you sit in the chair, and then you just cast it out, and the waters go. You can pick the scenery.

[Jacob]

A river runs through your hotel room.

[Robert Kelly]

I sat on the couch in my underwear just fishing for, like, two hours. Just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, it was crazy, but it was relaxing. And then I jerked off to some weird stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Interesting. I know I won't get too into the games where it's, like, heavy, because I think they haven't figured that out awesomely. Where you can go through and do, like, a really cool, like, action story or there's, like, a Resident Evil or Uncharted type game.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a robot game that you can play where you can fight people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the games are more to do things where it's like, all right, use your hands to pick up tools to clean this giant's teeth.

[Robert Kelly]

Puzzles. It's like puzzle stuff. You have to open this up, that door to get to that room and then figure out that. And you have to use your hand. Yeah, it's a little like that. It gets boring quick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know, man. Beat Saber. Oh, my little tussy was cooking.

[Robert Kelly]

Beat Saber's good. Fishing's awesome. Porn is dangerous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the three things you go to. I think there's a game now where you can be a quarterback and, like, you're just the quarterback throwing the ball. NFL license game.

[Robert Kelly]

When they can figure out, like, that Xbox type of football game. And they do have a track you can stand on. It's a round thing, and you can run, and you're strapped in. It's around your waist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And it holds you just in the center. And when you run, your feet just stay in place. And you can hook it up to the Oculus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think this exists already?

[Robert Kelly]

It does exist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It's like. It's a. It's almost like a treadmill, but it goes in any direction. So it. And you hooks up to your waist and these. It has, like, a circle thing around you that kind of keeps you standing up so you can run and shoot and do all that stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Drago.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. It's. It's pretty nuts. It's pretty nuts. But it's expensive as fuck.

[Jacob]

Your holodeck, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

It's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you say it's expensive. Is that if I doordash it, you're saying? Because I'm thinking about doordashing. It.

[Robert Kelly]

It's probably. Yeah, it's probably expensive that way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, you can order a robot. Dynamics. Look at this doordash.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at this thing. So it holds you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Holy shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude. You can just. You can. So that's a fighting game. So you. So he's just running through actual environment, but you're moving with the character.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's bat shape.

[Robert Kelly]

That's nuts, right? So that's him ducking down, running. Look at that.

[Christine]

It's too much healthier than sitting on your ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa, Whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it doesn't have the thing I thought it was gonna have. What you said it had, Bobby. I was assuming, too, like, more of, like, a border for yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the other one does. There's Another one that does. That's. I think that's a newer one where it holds you. It just straps you in. I think that's. It's. It's the upgraded one. Yeah. That thing goes any direction. Whoever. You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Watching this fat guy do it is pretty funny.

[Robert Kelly]

You think that's pathetic.

[Jacob]

He looks pathetic.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, the fact.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, there's the gun thing I was telling you about.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Dude, I would fucking. I would never leave my house. If you could just travel through environments. Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was thinking it was awesome, and then Jacob made me feel like a fool if I wanted.

[Robert Kelly]

You're an asshole.

[Jacob]

You look great inside the world. It's just when people are watching you outside the world.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's the way your apartment works.

[Jacob]

Can I say you're all completely wrong about DoorDash. It's 70 to 90% markup. When you have a delicious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's at 14 and 90.

[Jacob]

No, no, no. DoorDash markups and generally range from 15 to 30% per item to cover rest of my restaurant commissions, often resulting in total costs 70 to 90% higher than in store prices when including fees.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Jacob]

So how much double?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, look up the price of the Oculus 512 Gig 3 Quest 3. If you wouldn't mind.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want to make you feel bad about your purchase. I don't know why. Because you had a fun day. It was worth it. If I said to you if I was sitting on your couch, I go, dude, I can get you an Oculus Quest right now, but you're going to pay 90% markup. 90% markup? You would have still said, yeah, it's possible.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's. Buddy, that's what I paid for it.

[Robert Kelly]

You paid 400. But no. But what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They now say, what does that cost? If you order it on Door dash,

[Robert Kelly]

it's just going to go, you dumb. Don't do it.

[Christine]

That's great.

[Robert Kelly]

It was 900 bucks. Hello.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Christine]

5.99 to 6.4.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not bad.

[Christine]

About 100 bucks more.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not bad. That's worth it.

[Christine]

Which is not 40 to 91.

[Jacob]

I believe 20 higher. No, I think it's a markup. No, that's the price that. I think it's just like the food. The prices on a rest. On a menu online are different than in store. So I think that's the price.

[Christine]

You're saying there's also fees on top of this?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, no, no, no. That's 599. Is. Is that Oculus Quest. The. The highest gigabyte one is that much?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

No, let me get settle this. But if you could say how much you paid Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

If you just order one to my house right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me just see.

[Robert Kelly]

Just order one of my house, dude, and see what happens.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'll let you know if I could dash this to your house right now. I have a receipt probably here.

[Robert Kelly]

Dash it to my house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me see me. I'm me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you My go to store best buy.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay right now is looking up on his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where do I see my receipts to

[Robert Kelly]

see if he got raped by doordash.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think I did get raped.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think he did either. Jacob seems.

[Jacob]

Did you have fun, Jay?

[Robert Kelly]

No, don't.

[Jacob]

Because that's all that matters, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, new Jacob's here.

[Jacob]

This is new Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

New Jacob. I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had a lot of fun.

[Robert Kelly]

You poo pooed it. Now you're coming back.

[Jacob]

That's all that matters.

[Robert Kelly]

That's all that matters. We got it.

[Christine]

To put play this. This is so fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. It's so fun.

[Robert Kelly]

That is great. What's the music, though? I want to hear the music. That's the best part here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got it. I got it.

[Robert Kelly]

How much?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's $5.99 is what the thing costs.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait a second. $5.99?

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So that's six carrying case. 70.

[Robert Kelly]

70.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's 670.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Another 60 for the charging dock.

[Robert Kelly]

That's 6. 47. 40.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

740, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. No, no. 737.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

37, 30. Total delivery fee, $1.99. Fees and tax. $57. My total price, 7.89.

[Robert Kelly]

Boom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not bad.

[Robert Kelly]

That's great. $1.99 for delivery.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think a lot of what they talk about, I think they're saying with food very specifically, I think with this, it must be a different thing or else nobody would ever do that. Nobody would pay double for electronics.

[Jacob]

How can you get not have a delivery fee?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it was $1.99.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, old Jacob's back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We brought him down.

[Christine]

Wasn't there another, like $50 in fees?

[Robert Kelly]

Family's back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That's what got up to seven. 749 is what it was. All done.

[Robert Kelly]

Who cares? You got it.

[Jacob]

As long as you had fun. Yeah, there it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'm going to get one. Dude, we're going to lightsaber it. Can we do it together? Yeah, dude, we should do that together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to shake Your little tussy.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm going to take it on the road on weekends.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I'm doing.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'll take it on the road. You know, we can do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got a carrying case, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

We can watch porn together in the same room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can we? In the theater. Are you jerking off? No. Why? Are you.

[Jacob]

Can you conceivably Eiffel Tower a girl together?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, look up. Can you do online porn with two people with two Oculuses virtual.

[Robert Kelly]

You got to invite me into the room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How fun does this look, Jacob?

[Jacob]

It looks good.

[Christine]

It's just with your hands. You're just slashing the air with your hands.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But can you do it to. Can't feel my face.

[Robert Kelly]

Please, Christine, real quick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was the one that I was doing.

[Robert Kelly]

If next time he does this and you're not videotaping it for me, I will never talk to you again.

[Christine]

I was really enjoying the moment. Just in life.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Well, the flinter needs you to get some fluency.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I also did get lucky. I also did get lucky.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're up all night together.

[Robert Kelly]

You're up all night to the.

[Christine]

Dawkins was very confused cuz he seems like he wanted to play but was not playing with her.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? His dad went all on him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was like.

[Christine]

She was in between his legs with her little football.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bring up the video.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, can you. Hey, can you go back to being a man with me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so cool. But they have Daft Punk in the background. They're big.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. This is a great game.

[Christine]

Wait.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, Play the one here. No, play the one on YouTube. It's so satisfying.

[Robert Kelly]

It is. Because it goes with the music. Ooh, bang.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then turn it up.

[Christine]

Jay doesn't just slash like every move.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, look.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Boom. Yeah. It's like. It's lightsabers. Jacob, you get to play with. Imagine lightsabers, you know. Look at that. How much fun you'd have in your house. It's a workout.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And all these little discs come at you, but they come in the music. Look at Jay, he's killing it right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then Daft Punk shows up in the background and Jacob, have you done VR yet? No, it's nutty. It's like a round.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to bring it in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll bring it tomorrow.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to bring it in. We have to have Jacob. We have to have Jacob do it live.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll film Jacob beat saber right in studio.

[Robert Kelly]

We have to put Jacob on the plank. There's a plank. You can go on, you go to the top of. You go in an elevator. You go to the top of the building and you walk out the window on a wooden plank and you jump off and you can jump off and you fall off the building.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But your body, your body tries to stop you.

[Jacob]

But if you die in, in the dream, don't you die in real life?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you do die.

[Christine]

We did have a friend dive into.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's one of my favorite stories.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta tell that story. You gotta tell that story, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One of our friends, we were at Sao Volcano's. He has a pinball machine in his place. And we were all doing like. You walk to the edge of the plank. Show em the plank. I'm sure there's a YouTube of the plank. You walk out and it's always like. It's, it's fun and weird because your body, you know, you're in a room. You tell yourself it over and over again. I'm just standing on a floor. If I move left or right, nothing's gonna happen. But your body tries to stop you. But the thing is your brain's like thinks you are on the stage.

[Robert Kelly]

They have all your senses of being hit. The sound feels like you're out on top of a building. Sure you're looking out wherever you look. It's like you're looking down at the street. It's, it's. It's so real, the environment when you're in it.

[Christine]

I really had no idea how scared I was going to feel being on

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine passed out on the roller coaster.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Christine]

What, What? The roller coaster kind of went limp first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She went limp. It was crazy. I'd catch her.

[Robert Kelly]

How great is this? Scary. You can, you can actually do Iron man mode on this where you have your feet and hands and you can fly around the city.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But both. Well, this, what happened with our friend was so you picture this is the edge of a pinball machine here. It's about the right size. We're all walking to the edge and go like now watch, you know, step off or step forward or you know, do a little like jump, little leap forward. It's gonna. I don't know where she went. Full immersion I guess because she jumped like she wasn't in a house and she was trying to kill herself off of a plank. Because everyone turned their head for a second. Turn me over here. Everybody turn their heads. Everyone turn their head for a second. And we looked up legs and I mean legs up like this, like hugging this pinball. I mean she, she was so hurt. And she was trying to pretend like she wasn't that hurt, which is always funny as hell. And so I was like, I'm fine. I mean, we're like, what the did you think was gonna happen? You think the world disappeared around you?

[Robert Kelly]

I did it to Mike Suarez in the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The.

[Robert Kelly]

The YKWD studios, but he's so afraid of heights. He was at the edge, just panicking, and I just pushed him off, and his body went dead, like he was falling off. And he just. He got hurt. He just fell into the wall, into the. Into the bench.

[Jacob]

I can't imagine that feeling. I was told that. And actually, last week was a special week that you can go virtually walk through the Titanic, and you have to apparently save yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

I did it from drowning. I did it.

[Jacob]

And it looks like some guy did a. Some. Jacob did an exceptional recreation of the Titanic.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, you can go into. You can go anywhere in the world you want to go and walk around,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

and when you're there, I want to be on the. You can have Bobby suck your dick.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's virtual reality, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll suck your dick on the Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is there a way. Is there anyone that can make us Stonehenge?

[Robert Kelly]

I can blow you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is there any way. Someone's got to know. You might know this bug. I know they have those cameras, the 360 cameras.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is there any way that me and you can make VR video of our heads just going down and, like, the tops of our heads just bobbing up so someone can just sit there and pretend they're getting sucked off by me or you from our backs?

[Robert Kelly]

I actually talked to Bailey, Jay's husband about this because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, all right. That seems like we're in the right field.

[Robert Kelly]

They have to. To film it, you have to put, like, they have comedy clubs. There was a comedy club that was putting on shows, and they had a VR camera in one of the seats. So you could buy that seat and go to the club.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My special. Webster hall has that.

[Robert Kelly]

You have that, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We never tried it at all, but Webster Hall's got a seat where you could sit in the audience member.

[Robert Kelly]

So somebody can. But they can still do it. You could. You could upload it to Oculus Quest probably, and buy a ticket and go to your special and sit in that seat. I've never tried it, but you should put that up. That's great. So we'd have to get the camera.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jamie was there, all right. She sent me a textbook. She finally listened to the. To everybody making fun of it. She Was like, oh, I'm so happy. She goes, I said, when I took that, I told my mom her mom passed away. She's like, I told my mom when I took that, I'm gonna keep this video in case he becomes. I think I probably told her not to. I was probably like, you can get rid of it. I mean, I had to know I was eating shit. People booed me and guffawed at my. When I told them I was gonna get butt fucked in prison, they didn't like that. They felt I should have fought back.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, black people don't like gay jokes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, they don't make you submitting to.

[Robert Kelly]

But you know what? They do rule.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black people do rule.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what, though. The worlds are changing now. If there was a Def Jam right now and a guy came out and the whole thing was like how flamboyantly gay he was, they have to. They have to go nuts for it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I watched the Baddies reunion again last night. I mean, there is such a gay guy on there. It's a guy with a beard, girl hair, dresses like a girl. What's the name? Something Santana something. You got to look the same. You got to look at this fucking thing. It's creepy. But she did say, I'll give her credit. When they were arguing. So one of the girls was like, I should slap you, bitch. And she was like, at the end of the day, I'm a man bitch. I was like, oh, nice.

[Robert Kelly]

I love the using the right pronouns. Though she did say, it's very nice of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Saucy Santana.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Saucy Santana.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a great name.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Saucy Santana. Looks like Sherrod Isabella. Just has long hair, but yeah, Saucy Santana.

[Robert Kelly]

So funny what a wig will do to a guy, really. Just does make him into a chick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the beard. Pretty much the whole thing, really, the whole thing's a mess. Baddies, I beg you baddies and whoever's listening over at Zeus Network, please tell me that you do make all the audience for the reunions sign waivers that they might be involved in a physical fistfight on camera. Because I gotta tell you, it's. It's insane. Somebody in the audience started fighting a girl yesterday, and they go. And you think they're just gonna throw the girl in the audience out? And then they go. They go, no, let him go. Let him go in the middle. And they let the girl come over the barrier and go and fight till she gets punched and punches the other girl and then they put her back in the audience until they complain and they kick her out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's like the stress factory. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Vinny Brand is a producer on this.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't we get any of these. These girls in here, please? Why can't we get one of the baddies in here 100%? Yeah, get one of them in. Get two of them. We need two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We do need two.

[Robert Kelly]

We need two.

[Christine]

Natalie Nunn's doing a show at Webster Hall. But you're out of town.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's when I'm in la.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, I can't do it alone. No, no, I don't know any of

[Big Jay Oakerson]

the names, but maybe she's in town before that.

[Christine]

Yeah, she might be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We would probably not. She's the CEO of this shit. I'd love to ask her. Why would you go out off your ass, Obliterated, drunk on the reunion? It's crazy. There's two girls. One of the girls told you she kept falling asleep on the couch.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. There's no rules.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No rules.

[Robert Kelly]

There's no rules. There's no standards and practices.

[Christine]

Diamond, the B. Yeah. She was passed down a superhero outfit. She had a case that said make baddies great again. And she passed out. Then she fucking fought someone and like five minutes later was like, I didn't fight you. What are you talking about?

[Robert Kelly]

They should do this with comics. They should have Yamanika and Kim cond. You know What I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ms. Pat, can you get to the trailer for the next episode? Free plug for Zeus network. The trailer for the next episode. So this girl, diamond, the body, her name is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She comes out in a superhero costume with the thing like the. As Like a bit. It comes out and her and Natalie Nunn, the. The owner of the whole thing or the CEO don't like each other. They almost fought on the show. That girl diamond doesn't like her, but she came out drunk. And then sort of. They're like, we've kind of put it our bullshit to the side. Like, I wouldn't be on this show if it wasn't for Natalie Nun. But she's obliterated. She's talking like, I just know we're thing and I don't want to fight and blah, blah. And then essentially keeps falling asleep, then gets into a fight, then falls back asleep again. Then they remove her from the stage, she throws up backstage, then she comes back out and saying again sweet things about Natalie Nunn. And in this trailer, what you'll see is another girl tries to fight her and she's so drunk. But she does start fighting her and Natalie Nunn breaks them up. And then that girl in the superhero costume grabs Natalie Nunn and flings her

[Robert Kelly]

on the ground by her hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Starts beating the shit out of her like there's no rhyme or reason, any of it. It's like, let's just all kill each other right now. It's fucking dogs in a pen. It's brilliant. I'd love to be at this next year.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you go, man? Let's all go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We should.

[Robert Kelly]

You think we'll stick out first of

[Big Jay Oakerson]

all, show them how good they are. We would stick out a little bit.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you think Jacob would stick out?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sure this is la.

[Christine]

I'm trying to get to the next week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But don't even go to the next week yet. Do the. Just go to the part where the music starts. They're so good at editing. They do a thing.

[Robert Kelly]

You know who edits this, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Paco. Oh, shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They get into it and something starts really happening and heating up. And then they go like the music. You hear like a. Like a crescendo build. And then it goes next week on.

[Robert Kelly]

You're like, fuck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because they always. They're such good editing.

[Robert Kelly]

There's not one healthy body on stage right now. The boys so much pre and diabetic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my God. The TV show the Boys, which I love every episode. Must be a multi million dollar project. Every single episode. And I look forward to this more every week. The storylines are more compelling over here because before the reunion they've all watched the show already. So now they've seen all the shit they talk behind each other's backs and all the shitty things they didn't know.

[Robert Kelly]

The other person said, I just don't understand this. Yes, okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Uhhuh.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, and you, you might get me on this. Like, buying clothes as a heavy guy was always hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, I'm looking at these girls, their

[Big Jay Oakerson]

outfits, buddy, you gotta dress like big Dominican. Bring up big Dominican.

[Robert Kelly]

Are they. Are they custom made sweatpants? Like, where do you get this? How do you get fat? Thin, fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go on.

[Christine]

It's just different now. And now they make cheap whore clothes in like 4 or 5x. Like.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that what it is?

[Christine]

Yeah, you can just get like these. You can get clothes in sizes you couldn't get in the 90s.

[Robert Kelly]

Because that girl over to the right is, is, is around 500 pounds from her belly button down and around who? The girl to the right with the sweatsuit on. She's wearing a sweatsuit. That is huge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The blue.

[Robert Kelly]

The blue is right, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That girl's actually in really good shape.

[Robert Kelly]

She's not great shape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's Chris, Sean, Rock. Yeah. She's like boxing, dude. She's in great shape.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that her?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no. This is big Dominican.

[Robert Kelly]

I was gonna throw up Dominican.

[Christine]

And all these pictures are way too flattering.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They are way too flattering. She's like, this is fake. That's not a real. That's not her.

[Christine]

I'm gonna find her.

[Robert Kelly]

How do they find these clothes?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's more. She's fashioned by somebody because she makes a big thing about.

[Robert Kelly]

These have to be custom made. Fatty, skinny, fatty, skinny, fatty.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She is so fat. And she is by far. She's admittedly the biggest pussy on the show. She's afraid to fight.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, what a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So she just goes. As soon as this girl comes out on the. On the reunion. Slaps her right in the face. She never comes on stage again. She sits in the audience and smokes weed. Yeah. Look at her get up though. She's so fat.

[Robert Kelly]

Aw, she's throwing a kick though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's throwing kicks. Yes. Big Dominican is wearing a shirt open with a jacket open so you can see her man underwear comes out. And she's slapped by the hottest girl on the show. Big last.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. There's so much jiggling going on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So much.

[Christine]

She's constantly in triangle tops, like triangle bikinis.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm saying. She wears.

[Christine]

It's wild.

[Robert Kelly]

They don't wear. They wear skinny girl clothes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's like.

[Christine]

Yeah, because they make them.

[Robert Kelly]

It's almost like. It's almost like they were thin at one point and someone got a fat gun, shot him with it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They got fat gunned and they got.

[Robert Kelly]

They grew in their old clothes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's maybe the best description I've ever heard. For some of that. It looks like you weren't fat, then you got fat gunned.

[Christine]

Look, fashion nova. Sexy plus size dresses for women.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but those are like. What they're wearing is different.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's stuff like this.

[Christine]

No, it's like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's essentially this stuff.

[Christine]

And look, it goes up well. 3X, that's not that bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. Yeah, but those goes.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what they're doing. They're shoving five X's and three X's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Host/Announcer]

Okay, I have to tell you I was just looking on ebay where I go for all kinds of things I love. And there it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set.

[Host/Announcer]

Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One of a kind.

[Host/Announcer]

Ebay had it and now everyone's asking.

[Robert Kelly]

Ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers? Ebay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful.

[Host/Announcer]

Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay. Things people love.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Host/Announcer]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

And yes, I'm all lit up again. Flying. I love the cocaine. I love the cocaine.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it. Ah God dang.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wish I would have tried cocaine more when I was younger.

[Robert Kelly]

I did. Not fun. I Didn't like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's probably not my speed either. Heroin would have been my jam, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I never did heroin, but I was more of. I like. I like drinking, getting rowdy and. But coke was just. I. Dude, I just talk too much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I just go like, hey, man, how you doing? How's it going?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That wouldn't be good for me.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's not a. It's not a good high. I guess if you drink, you. If you use alcohol, weed. If you combined a bunch of things, it might be good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I suck. To be ramped up on coke and thinking like, weed, oh, what a terrible mix.

[Christine]

I think it's a great mix. And all you need.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you do go. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She do coke. She's like, you, dude. She had to, like, rehab when she was a kid. Like you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Well, did you. How much did you do? A lot of coke.

[Christine]

As much as I could find, as

[Robert Kelly]

much as I could get my hands.

[Christine]

Luckily, I wasn't friends with a lot of rich people and never had the piles of coke you see in movies, but.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, man, I did want that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But she's a girl. Yeah, she's a girl. Girls.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I found it. We used to rob. My friend Frankie's mother's boyfriend was a coke dealer, but he was little like Jacob. No offense, but he was like you, but kind of like, you know, he kind of thought he was rough, but he's just take his coke. And he used to tell his wife she was gonna. Did you take his cocaine? Like, no, they said they didn't take it, but they did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love that, though. There was a guy, this girl Lisa, who lived in our neighborhood in South Jersey. I was growing up there. Her stepfather was a bookie. Just. He looked like Kenny Rogers. There's nothing scary about him. And they just took a guess that he wasn't affiliated with anybody. And then they would just get deep in the hole with him, then just be like, no. They're just like, it's not gonna pay it. It's just. Lisa's stepdad.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to be. If you're gonna deal drugs, you have to be a mean, tough motherfucker. You can't just be a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And affiliated would help.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You can't just be a guy who tells your girlfriend, they took my stuff. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you seen. It's a funny trend I saw online.

[Robert Kelly]

I saw a great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you see the trend of I trust my wife?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, dude, I sent that in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The belt slapped in the face.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, not that one. Do you see the Other. Trust my wife.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The peeing.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a. All over my Instagram. It's a guy. The girl lies on the ground.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's. I trust my husband.

[Robert Kelly]

Trust my husband. And the guy has to pee around her head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Which, by the way, you're still gonna get piss on you if you do that perfectly.

[Robert Kelly]

A little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not how piss works.

[Robert Kelly]

If you. Dude, if it's me, I'm 55. You're getting pissed. Your stomach. I'm not gonna make it around your head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I also don't believe that's pee.

[Robert Kelly]

Really? Oh, don't.

[Christine]

Very clear.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't ruin it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because by the way, he pees on her immediately if it's real. So that's what I'm saying. It's just like. That's fake. But you haven't seen. Yeah, but you haven't seen the. It's just pissing around her head while she's laying down, covering her eyes. But if you watch the. If you watch the guys go, I trust my wife. Put a cup on their head, and then she's supposed to whip it off with a fucking belt and it just blasts them in the face over and over again. God damn it. That is funny. You have to see that. That makes me. That brings me such happiness. These guys. Like, I trust my wife. Oh. It's like in the eyes and mouth and all these terrible ideas.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would anybody trust their wife?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would. The mechanical sports skills or like, whatever that would take. Hand, eye coordination, crack.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, he's 8ft tall, she's 4:2. Well, that's not really his wife, but by the way, that last guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is so funny. You just hear them keep getting wrapped in the face.

[Robert Kelly]

I tell. Can I be honest? Stop it right here. Not one of these bitches is trying to hit the cup.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they are.

[Robert Kelly]

No, they're not. Look at. Look at the way they're looking. They're looking at the side of his head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look. Maybe the thing happened finally where I call women stupid and dumb and can't figure it out enough that eventually vagina between their legs and they're dumb pussies. But maybe that I've. Maybe they've realized that I've put such a little faith in them that they can do something like this on purpose. And I'll be like, well, she's a dingbat who wouldn't have the mechanical skills to do it. Right.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe we were both right. Yeah, maybe we're both right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. Maybe they're doing it on purpose because they know I would go, they're not doing it on purpose. They're too stupid and. And not able to do this.

[Robert Kelly]

And don't forget the vagina between their stupid. It's one of my favorite things. Anytime I see a lady in public acting like an idiot, I'm just like, because she's got a stupid pussy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stupid pussy. Oh, that's my favorite. That's why I say I go. No matter. As the most evening thing I've said on stage before, I go get a little argument with the lady at dmv, a big ugly, fat, black, pissed off fucking mama. And just know that as she's bitching at you and telling you you can't do what you need to do, in her phone there's a picture of her doing this. Just sucking her titty and spreading her box for some big fat, ugly black guy she dates. It evens everything out. You just go, you are us. You know what? Your life's bad enough. Oh, Jacob, a couple things Euphoria related I wanted to talk to you about. One Sydney Sweeney. That's the name, right? Sydney Sweeney.

[Robert Kelly]

Never seen an episode, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's fine.

[Robert Kelly]

Should I. Should I watch it?

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's up, up show. It's not like a watch with Max or anything. Dawn might like it.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you think Dom will like it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's intense. It's like fucked up though. It's like drugs, a lot of sex.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. So it's gonna be uncomfortable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It's gonna watch Don getting wet on the couch and just. I'm going to bed early.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not that kind of sex really. Well, sometimes I guess. But Sydney Sweeney who was on the show, that's, you know, her big show. You've watched seasons before this?

[Jacob]

Yeah, I haven't watched a new one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then the big thing this season that they. Before the season came out, Jacob likes it. They kept it, they kept announcing was that some people are upset and whatever it is because this year her character, it's the final season. Her character is going to be like an only fans chick get involved in. Only fans.

[Robert Kelly]

Who's complaining about that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

People that are like, oh, she's like, why is she doing this kind of like nudity stuff still? But anyway, she does a bunch of. Her body is retarded, undeniable.

[Robert Kelly]

It really is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her body is so good. I almost don't give two shits about this girl's doof face at all. It blows my mind. Have you watched any new episodes? Yeah, I've seen everyone last night when they're showing her at her absolute hottest. She's hot. I get it. Right, but you know what I'm saying, right? Do you understand something about her face? I'm like. It's just her fucking dumb freckles. Looks like she has down syndrome, kind of.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you feel the same way, Jacob?

[Jacob]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know, man. She does not like. I know. It's like. And again, it's one of those things where, like, the world has made me turn on her more than she has. She's fine. I think she's a really good actress, first of all. I think she's really good. But like, she. Because she's played Cat. She's played so much stuff out of that, like being a hot chick.

[Robert Kelly]

What is she. She. Why do you think she's goofy, though? I've seen photos. She looks pretty hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not that she's not as. I'm saying it's not that she's not hot. The fact that she's like. The fact that, like, she's like the one. I'm like, why? Just look at why she's like the thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, she's got.

[Jacob]

On this show. I'll tell you exactly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her big tits.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

No, because for the last.

[Robert Kelly]

The tits.

[Jacob]

For the last 10 years, there's been a drought. Desert in Hollywood.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Every. Every woman was like, we're not going to be objectified. And she said that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Objectify the shit out of me. Yeah, true.

[Jacob]

And she cornered the market and everyone loved. And she's got a great sense of humor. Like, she's cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Settle down, Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

Trying to get her, but she's not like.

[Jacob]

She's just.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't give.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot smarter than you think. She's resourceful.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

She's not annoying.

[Robert Kelly]

This is what you're gonna say to her when you meet her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I promise you. She's annoying. She's an actress for Hollywood.

[Jacob]

She doesn't seem as annoying as the other interviews.

[Robert Kelly]

You really like her, don't you, Jacob?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta be honest with you. You can say whatever you want right now. She's not gonna come live in your weird little apartment with you.

[Jacob]

This I know.

[Robert Kelly]

What if she was so down to earth she wanted to stay with you every time she came to town? Well, I don't like. I don't like luxury hotels.

[Jacob]

She'll do stuff like that.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this the scene where she. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where she stood there.

[Robert Kelly]

Good for her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her bodies.

[Jacob]

Good for her.

[Robert Kelly]

For being an actress and going against all this bullshit and showing that Ass. Yeah.

[Jacob]

Smartest businesswoman in Hollywood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm all with it, but I'm just saying. And again, I think she's hot. Like, if it wasn't. If it makes sense, I'd be more like, she wasn't such a big thing. I'd be like, you know, it's actually pretty hot. Is that girl on the thing is like a smoke show. But it's because she's been made, like, the definitive thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just like, I don't get that.

[Robert Kelly]

She has a stupid face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she has a dumb face.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if she has a dumb face. I gotta see it. But let's look at this ass first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, well, their face is in the picture too, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't see the face. That one's hotter. Maddie is way hotter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I agree.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Jacob]

Yep.

[Robert Kelly]

Which one?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Hispanic girl on the show. She's technically prettier.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They're gonna show. Show. They got her doing all kinds of slutty stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it all lesbians?

[Christine]

As a dog.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it all lesbians? This is what it seems like.

[Christine]

Just one lesbian.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just the mean girl's a lesbian, But I think they're all pieces of.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, she's. Stop, stop, stop. Pause that. Pause.

[Christine]

I'll pause it in a sec.

[Robert Kelly]

Pause that. Right. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Christine. I'm gonna stop right now. I'm gonna apologize. And I want to thank you for waiting until it was just your face and you waited till her titties.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, there's another one where she's just covering her box with her hand.

[Robert Kelly]

There's more. Oh, please.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah, this gets a little titties.

[Robert Kelly]

She's gorgeous, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's very pretty.

[Christine]

I mean, she's definitely a sex symbol.

[Robert Kelly]

She's gorgeous. Who's filming what?

[Christine]

That's her maid.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna get.

[Christine]

She has her made do all of her sexy photos.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll get my maid to do this for me.

[Christine]

This one, she's wrapped in a sheer flag.

[Robert Kelly]

Good for you. God bless America.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Their face again, Dude, I don't give a about this chick's face.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, that was a little. Can I just say something, though? Everybody looks a little goofy in a pool.

[Christine]

Oh, this one's really slutty.

[Robert Kelly]

Any. Everybody wet looks a little stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, they're covering her snatch with her hands.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Let me see that. Stop, stop, stop, stop. She's doing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's pretty. She's very pretty. She's not the hottest face I've ever seen. In. Especially in the last decade, buddy.

[Jacob]

But I agree with you there.

[Christine]

But she's just sex symbol. It's like. It's like she's really the first. Like.

[Robert Kelly]

But she's in a. She's in a catcher's outfit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she's not.

[Jacob]

It's hot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, she is. She's wearing the shins of the thing except the outfit part. She's wearing the hat backwards. She's got the catcher's mitt with nothing else. This is the greatest girl ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, buddy. God bless her. Well, also, I bet she is making a fortune. I bet this. I was talking to Isabella. I think this show probably is ending this season because this cast is unaffordable at this point. It can't be affordable.

[Robert Kelly]

Nothing you just showed me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one saw her becoming a big star. The guy is huge.

[Robert Kelly]

Nothing you've ever shown me on this show has got me aroused. Like this right here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never showed you. Oh, on the. Me on the bonfire.

[Robert Kelly]

On the bonfire. Nothing you've ever showed me.

[Jacob]

Bobby, I'm with you.

[Robert Kelly]

This right here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What about Miley Cyrus peeing? No. What?

[Robert Kelly]

Into that.

[Jacob]

You're nowhere near as good.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, that. You know, dude, look it. I came up in a different generation than you with Lady Chatterley where you had to wait through the story. He had to go to school, he had to get his test, and then he had to come home, get yelled at by his parents, and then go up to the room and she came up. Are you all right? And then. Let me help you. And then. And then they kiss for a while. And then. You know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I mean, Bobby, she shows you her. Zoom in, please, Christine, so I can see her.

[Robert Kelly]

This is. Who's this again? What is her name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Miley Cyrus.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I mean, enhance that quadrant.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you enhance the C quadrant, please?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Jay, I want to see her. See? Real quick.

[Jacob]

Look, I don't know why you say you don't get it. The. The answer is because she's the only one for the last five or six

[Big Jay Oakerson]

years who's been showing the nudity and stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Act like a beautiful woman. That's it. In Hollywood. Everyone else.

[Robert Kelly]

This hoe's doing it in the desert, going to Vegas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but I mean, that is hot.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it is hot. It is really hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's drinking a pee. She's drinking a beer.

[Robert Kelly]

That got me R up, too, but I kept that one to myself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And by the way, she's got a little beaver, a little bush.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know. I know. Somebody who did her? I know somebody who did her. I know somebody who did her. And you know her, too.

[Jacob]

Say it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Yeah. No, not her. Oh, okay.

[Christine]

There's more. It gets a little creepy.

[Robert Kelly]

What's creepy about America and baseball?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right there, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

What's creepy about that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing. You guys are super into it.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? I don't understand. She's on a couch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is her on a couch. She's wearing a baby clothes, a diaper, like underwear, and a pacifier.

[Robert Kelly]

We just watched a fat black lady do the same thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Different. She was fighting.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, whatever. So she's acting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was fat. She's also. We decided she has a good.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. She's not fat. She's. She's.

[Jacob]

This montage is supposed to be for an only fan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's doing all the things.

[Christine]

She's shooting, like, private photos of what people are asking her for on her only fans because her husband won't spend $50,000 on flowers for a wedding. So she's using this. She's like, fine, I'll just do an only fans then. If you won't buy me my flowers.

[Robert Kelly]

You think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you think Jacob's, like, industrious?

[Robert Kelly]

Industrious? Do you think that's what Gomez would make her do if he was requesting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

The only way I'm going to come is if you have pigtails in a pass.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe be a baby. Could you be a baby? Baby?

[Robert Kelly]

All right, let me see. What's the next one?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, there is no next one.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on. Look, stop, stop, stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is really hard. I will say they do give her. They give you a good shot at the slot here.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, look out. Yeah, go. Get off the.

[Jacob]

Go to the thing where it doesn't get dark.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, stop making it dark. Stop. Get off that. Oh, God. Don't go to the fat maid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to let it play here.

[Christine]

I'll go back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to go back through that whole thing again. Please don't do that.

[Christine]

Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just get to the thing. Oh, man.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, let's play this. I want to see this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to see that. I want to see the vagina without dark.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nobody can hear the vagina.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but I'm going to explain it. Christine, she's making it dark. Stop making it dark.

[Christine]

Sorry. I need to be prepared to stop. Stop it

[Big Jay Oakerson]

now.

[Robert Kelly]

We missed it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's fine. Sorry. You guys go back off to it later.

[Robert Kelly]

Ombre. Vagina.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the concerning thing I have. And I wonder if anyone else has ever felt this way before.

[Robert Kelly]

Hot. Hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you where I felt it before, actually. American History X.

[Robert Kelly]

You got hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We can all admit when he.

[Robert Kelly]

When he curb stomped a guy you got a raging heart on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no, no. But I think we could all admit as much as it's. It's awful. Terrible, terrible thing for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That he had a swastika tattoo. But in the world of tattoos, that's a great tattoo. The placement of it, where it was, was a pretty cool tattoo. And the artist of a terrible, terrible sign.

[Robert Kelly]

Terrible, terrible sign. But the tattoo artist did a great job of the placement.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I found it again.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I found this again. Another tattoo tattoo where I was like, God damn it. That's a dope tattoo that you can never get, but it's a goodie.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guess he's a white supremacist.

[Robert Kelly]

You guess?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On the show. Well, this is on the show last night.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Jacob]

Euphoria on Euphoria.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's fucking that girl who. I guess she is. It does do porn for real on the show, but her name's Faith.

[Robert Kelly]

What is the show about?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fucking drug addiction. It's just like, young, rich neighborhood in Hollywood. La.

[Robert Kelly]

La.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And it's just like. It's. It's the life of, like, these, like, untethered kids who are, like, rich parents and sucking and so it's what?

[Robert Kelly]

What's what friends should have been.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

so there's a scene with this white supremacist. This girl very, very uncomfortable.

[Robert Kelly]

It's friends without the hi, jigs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Especially watching with Isabella.

[Robert Kelly]

You watch this with your daughter?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

How?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

I wouldn't watch this with Dawn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why did you have to wag off?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't have to fucking bang her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So this is the scene.

[Jacob]

So which one is Faith?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's the blonde girl who was like. She hung out with the drug dealer.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought you were asking which one is Faith in this video? I'm like, it's the one getting fucked doggy style.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's like a dip shit girl. I know who you're talking about, all freckly and shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Where is he fucking? A crack house?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, basically.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A trap house.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's a trap house. Yeah, it looks very.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But here's the thing. He's got a tattoo, and you're gonna see it. You ever see a tattoo when they do it where someone does a picture of, like, just the eyes of like an iconic picture. And you know what the picture is just from the eyes, right? It's fucking Charles Manson's eyes from the iconic picture. And in the middle of it, a little swastika fucked up. But it's a dope ass fucking tattoo.

[Robert Kelly]

You should get that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It bums me out so much how cool this tattoo is.

[Robert Kelly]

You should get that over your cock so when you're getting head, they have to look right into his face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Manson's eyes have a swastika. That's not a bad bush fat tattoo.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a great bush fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a good bush foot fat tattoo. Go ahead, let's go. Let's get to this. We see it at this point. Isabelle was pointing out that this girl does actual pornography.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm watching this show all weekend. Oh, my God. She's having sex. She's. He's. He's doggy her. Yeah, but it looks so real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He probably is doing it for us. She's a porn star. So they may have been. God now.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that Terrence Howard?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's a white supremacist. Somehow I know it's a white guy. Looks a little Hispanic to me. This is not too. How fucking cool was that? Lower the lights so you can see it. Good.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you sure that's a Manson Lampson's

[Jacob]

eyes with the swastika?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, right on his left for sure.

[Jacob]

I'm not gonna. Yeah, it's good tattoo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's an undeniably a cool looking piece of artwork.

[Jacob]

But like against swastikas, we are bad. Sure.

[Christine]

You're forced to Charles Manson.

[Jacob]

No, I'm for art.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob. You can get that without the swastika, but it's not gonna have the same effects.

[Jacob]

Exactly.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That looks so cool, doesn't it?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it does look cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just Charles Manson's eyes and the swastika between his eyes.

[Robert Kelly]

They call them Manson lamps. Yeah. Damn it. And it's on. It looks like a Puerto Rican guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It does look like a Puerto Rican guy. Yeah, he like a Puerto Rican. Am I right?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he did cat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat.

[Robert Kelly]

This is a sexy show. How did I not see this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is a pretty sexy show, but it's also like up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, I like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot of up. Like ODing and blah, blah. Keep going back to rehab.

[Robert Kelly]

You get me harder.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sendai is good. Sendai is another one though. I think Zendaya at the core, not that attractive.

[Robert Kelly]

Was that the little thin one from Spider Man?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's cute. She's very cute girl, but they, she's like a glamour chick in the world. Like they make her. But I think she's like, I can't look at her.

[Robert Kelly]

And I couldn't watch her have sex because I saw her in Spider man as a little kid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She doesn't really that much. She's a lesbian.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, she's a. That's how they get out of it.

[Christine]

Kind of gorgeous. Like she really. I mean, they do because she looks like really trashy on the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you this, made up. I think she's prettier to Sydney Sweeney,

[Robert Kelly]

I'll give you that. Yeah, I'll give you that. When she gets older, she's going to

[Big Jay Oakerson]

be way pretty, Way, way prettier than Sydney Sweeney.

[Robert Kelly]

I say way prettier, but body not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, Sydney Sweeney, you have to consider is also, if time's going to do its thing, at some point those titties are going to start hitting the fucking floor.

[Robert Kelly]

Help them on the floor. Hope me and Jacob are on the floor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then diet and Zendaya will continue to have these little tiny perky titties probably.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but they'll get. They'll get weird and stretch marked maybe. Yeah, she is prettier. I mean, definitely prettier. But her body. Still a hot body. But I still like Sweeney's body betters.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, yeah, right now I can't think about it.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that. Is that her?

[Christine]

Oh, these are all the sex scenes from the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Yeah, Bob, when you watch season one, she porks like five times. You see, really in action. This is like the good old days actress.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I'm telling you, they must have had to work out so much. They must have to work out so much like with this, with this cast. Because they're expensive as hell, the other guys. The other guy's been nominated for an Oscar now. Right.

[Robert Kelly]

Isn't that so cute that she's in the catcher's little outfit there? She's actually given the old send the fastball sign on her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to wheel me into your world of crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Just send.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whack off to it and don't tell anybody.

[Robert Kelly]

Send the fastball right at my cooch, son.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Send the slider.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I need a. I need a curveball right in this. Right here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she goes for it.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? Number two. Is that the fastball? The slider. What is that? It's a curve. It's a curve. Nice.

[Christine]

Oh, here.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Her eating ice cream. God, thank you. Zoom in, zoom in. This is her in a baby. As a. I guess as a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

As a baby. Bobby, sit right.

[Robert Kelly]

16 year old baby? No, 17 year old baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she's being a little bitty baby girl. Just a little six year old like you.

[Robert Kelly]

Like this is that.

[Christine]

I don't know if she's like a 19 year old baby.

[Robert Kelly]

19 year old baby. Buddy, you can dress the way you want.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What were you giving her?

[Robert Kelly]

Ruba rules.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the fuck was that? What was the 16 thing? You said

[Christine]

this show's supposed to be five.

[Robert Kelly]

I really didn't fuck that up. Thanks for saving me, guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's say she's at least 16, okay?

[Jacob]

Thanks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hello. Who's got their big titties coming in? Do you have your big titties coming in? Who likes their big titties?

[Robert Kelly]

I like the American flag one too. Could you see through the American flag?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't see through the American flag, but I'll tell you this. That's the worst her face looks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, because she's. She's a little goofy on that one, right? A little wet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's goofy looking.

[Robert Kelly]

I like a goofy face, you know?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You do, but I mean, that's. I'm telling you, you get rid of the makeup, those are the. That's the face you're gonna see more.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but I don't care. I like that goof. She's vibing Los Angeles. He's going out there to do some crazy stuff, then Austin for tickets and all the tour dates go to Big J comedy.com baby. YouTube.com bigjokerson Bobby Kelly's gonna beat Uncle

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Vinny's in New Jersey this weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

One showdown, one show Friday, one show Saturday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So get your tickets, come for Bobby's comedy. Stay for the picture of me poorly drawn on the back wall.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

After that, he's gonna be in Cleveland, Ohio, Stanford, Connecticut, New Orleans. For tickets and all of his tour dates go to Punchup Live, Robert Kelly, and check out his YouTube @robert kelly comedy. And of course, like clockwork, 7pm Tuesday nights, fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. Get all your tickets. Tickets for that are punch up too, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Punch up? Yeah, I think so.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But if not, go to Comedy Store.

[Robert Kelly]

Just show up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just show the up.

[Robert Kelly]

So funny. This weekend I did marshmallows on stage and a couple people in the crowd went,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My hot chapel is black people rule. Oh, yes. Gang Fist 10.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not. I'm not promoting it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's Fine. I'll do it real quick.

[Robert Kelly]

I won't do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

New Orleans is. No, I got to see the. Is it a picture problem again?

[Robert Kelly]

Dave? Yeah, we got to go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right. November 13th through the 15th Mardi Gras World in New Orleans badges are on sale right now. Skankfest.com get them. They just went on sale today. They are going to go fast.

[Robert Kelly]

Irish Fair.com go get a storyteller show. Do it. We'll see you guys tomorrow. The bonfire.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Robert Kelly]

Close your eyes. Listen to Monday.com feel the sensation of an AI work platform so flexible and intuitive it feels like it was built just for you. Now open your eyes. Go to Monday.com, start for free, and finally, breathe.