
Jay and Ari Shaffir continue their dive into "very special" episodes of old sitcoms. Shows in the eighties used to break from their comedy genre and have a serious episode with a message. They admire the work of Blossom's Jenna Von Oy who played Six. She played sexier roles down the road and Jay is a fan. Nikki Glaser's "Song For Bob Saget" is played to the delight of everyone but Jacob who doesn't get it. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
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Big Jay Oakerson
And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.
Feld Dog
Hey campers, it's me, the feld dog. Merry Christmas from your friends at the bonfire. My angels and Mangels are always watching over you. Cheers to dancing like Michael Jackson and no more negativity in the world for the new year. Until then, please enjoy these new Bonfire podcast episodes. All that best of the year horseshit. Crackle, crackle. This is not really Feld Dog, by the way. P.S. michael danced like me, you see. It's a similar style of dance because we grew up dancing together. Back in the 80s, I was acting.
Robert Kelly
Those lyrics bite dick dance music.
Big Jay Oakerson
This is what Marcelo Hernandez listens to on his daily basis.
Robert Kelly
She bang. She bang.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, I love this song. It's Goosh. His favorite song.
Robert Kelly
To me, it's the straight face and almost attitude behind lyrics that shitty.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, well, he's gay like every other.
Robert Kelly
Girl in his story. I know. All this waste of time. Couldn't even get hard while these women are groping his whole body. He's like, oh God, their sweaty palms are so gross.
Ari Shaffir
He was so big.
Big Jay Oakerson
He was so big. And imagine him going like. I mean, they all know I dudes though, right? I just keep giving it to him. Yeah.
Ari Shaffir
He was like the king of 1999.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. There is a thing though. Like, honestly, if you were. If, if you were a girl that was super into Ricky Martin though. This isn't the first guy who's done.
Big Jay Oakerson
This to you who's gayed out on you.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you were always in the guys who had a haircut that was slightly like. This guy could just. I think he's gorgeous, but I could just be into. Into a gay guy, I think.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Do you know, I mean, like, a guy with the confidence at a younger age to walk around, like, an open shirt with, like a puka shell necklace in the middle and just be very handsome. You're like, strong shot, dude.
Big Jay Oakerson
This guy had a joke about that, about that hairstyle. But, like, the little poof there they were giving you a blowjob and eventually were like, just like, come up.
Robert Kelly
I'll just fuck your ass. That's great, Christine. We're back, everybody. It's Bonfire facts talk series xm103.
Big Jay Oakerson
Faction never gets respect. It's like the. You know, the Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Faction.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Faction doesn't get the respect it gets, the way the Holy Ghost doesn't.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. We should say the Trinity. This is the Trinity. Oh, wow. Full House. Well, Christine, this is your world, right? Or is this still me?
Ari Shaffir
This is my world.
Robert Kelly
This was me too, though. But we were just this. I guess we were probably the demographic, like, Spaced apart.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. It was just enough where I'm like, this is lame. These jokes aren't funny. I was probably 16 then, 15, so it was enough to, like. I know some funny shows. This ain't it.
Robert Kelly
So I may have been third if you were 16. I was probably 13. Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
What year did this come out?
Ari Shaffir
Let me look it up. I think it was like, 91.
Robert Kelly
Oh, really?
Big Jay Oakerson
Hey, Siri, what year does Full House come out? And also, what are.
Ari Shaffir
No.
Big Jay Oakerson
87 biggest fears.
Ari Shaffir
I went 87 and 95. I probably 87.
Big Jay Oakerson
87.
Robert Kelly
So I was 10 when it started.
Big Jay Oakerson
So I was 13.
Ari Shaffir
I probably started watching it around 1991.
Big Jay Oakerson
So 19. 1987, I was 13 or so. So three years in, I was 16. I was already like, guys, guys, this is shitty entertainment. I remember being in my computer, my whole family laughing, and I'm like, that's cool, dude. Is not a joke. It's just the kid being cute. And they're like, you're being a fucking girl.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, you're right. You're not wrong. Because I was able to accept it as I don't recall many episodes of this show by this time. Also, like, I probably am seeing, like, there's shows like it's Garry Shandling show that I watched that I like. And I.
Big Jay Oakerson
Cheers was already out. It was like, great.
Robert Kelly
I got those. These were shows watched almost purely for comfort. Pure comfort. It was like, oh, it's getting close to bedtime. And it's like, you know what? They'll let me watch these shows. They're heartwarming and wholesome. I don't remember having, like, a big laugh ever at my two dads or anything like that. There was no, like, big laughs in those shows. I didn't think Urkel was particularly funny.
Big Jay Oakerson
Erke was okay, but it was stupid.
Ari Shaffir
My laugh show is Married With Children.
Robert Kelly
These were sure exactly the point. Married Children made me laugh.
Ari Shaffir
Funny.
Big Jay Oakerson
Married Children was very funny, though.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah. And it was a little, like. It was a little risque for me, but my dad would let me watch it. Like, we'd watch it every. I think it came out Sundays.
Robert Kelly
Biggins. I mean, yeah, it was the best. Yeah, that show was huge. But I said, I still. But I watched it all again. Because you had, I think, by that point, maybe six channels to watch.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah. It was like, this is what?
Robert Kelly
Six channels?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Jacob
You watch the Larry Sanders Show?
Robert Kelly
I never went through the Larry Sanders Show. I know. It was fantastic. I know. It's fantastic. I just never, never did it.
Big Jay Oakerson
It was so good.
Robert Kelly
Let's take a walk down memory lane. Oh, what's that?
Big Jay Oakerson
It was America's dad.
Ari Shaffir
When he walked up to Skankfest South, I was like, oh, my God. Danny Tanner.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. I didn't know. Like that.
Ari Shaffir
Holy. It's Danny Tanner.
Big Jay Oakerson
This is crazy.
Ari Shaffir
Oh, my God. He's one of the only people I've taken a picture with, Lou.
Robert Kelly
Might as well give us the real thing in the background. Catch up to him. Sometimes I sleep to the sky don't hurt the people I love don't hurt.
Big Jay Oakerson
Anyone.
Robert Kelly
I'm sorry to have a danger and I'm sorry to ask so much from a ghost. King of fatherhood.
Big Jay Oakerson
King of fatherhood from this show. Wasn't my time. Close. Pretty close.
Robert Kelly
You brought me up. Oh, wait. Beautiful, beautiful.
Ari Shaffir
Oh, I thought Fresh Princess was funny, too. Fresh Prince made me laugh. I love Will Smith was like, my first. One of my first crushes.
Big Jay Oakerson
Who?
Robert Kelly
I love you, Bob Saget. The whole room on this one.
Big Jay Oakerson
I love you, Bob Saget.
Robert Kelly
I love you, Bob Saget.
Ari Shaffir
It's not a nice sway at the Jam this year. When Josh played it, he played it.
Robert Kelly
Christine, show. Respect it. Our last moment. Back that up. Jeez Louise. Oh, my gosh.
Ari Shaffir
There were no dark jokes on.
Big Jay Oakerson
No. I think offstage on our Zoom chat sessions, her prayer sessions about the black experience.
Robert Kelly
Speak to the sky. Don't hurt the people I love. Don't hurt anyone. Don't hurt the people I love.
Big Jay Oakerson
Just don't Hurt. Don't take anyone.
Robert Kelly
Ad lib. Ooh. Don't hate anyone. I love you, Bob Saget. Take it in, Jacob. I love you, Bob Saget.
Ari Shaffir
I actually forgot that that's not part of the song.
Big Jay Oakerson
I know.
Robert Kelly
Should have been. Should have been. I love you, Bob Saget. Josh admires when he nails it. He nails it.
Jacob
Did you mention this is Nicky?
Robert Kelly
Everyone knows.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, who did this Stairway to Heaven song. It's really catch song for Bob by Nikki.
Robert Kelly
That's her Stairway, dude.
Big Jay Oakerson
Stairway, bro.
Jacob
I feel so foolish right now.
Robert Kelly
No, I love you, Bob Saget. Denied. Okay, so the shape of. I'm trying to remember. So what do we think? Let's take a guess.
Big Jay Oakerson
Wait, so we skipped something though, didn't we?
Robert Kelly
No, we finished. We finished Silver spoons.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's fine. That's fine. Yeah.
Ari Shaffir
Wait, these are the dads. That's the dad that beats up.
Robert Kelly
You know what? Okay, bring it up, because now I want to see. They're going to talk some to each. Oh, you know what? But they're not showing. They're not playing any of the episodes, are they?
Ari Shaffir
I think they're just talking over.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, he's saying, I'm sorry. He didn't realize you didn't want to be beat. He's apologizing the kid. All right, listen.
Robert Kelly
Wait. Let's hear if they do they play their argument. Because I would be willing to hear that.
Ari Shaffir
Okay, let's see.
Robert Kelly
He's. You're about to get it.
Unknown
Violent temper. When Mr. Stratton shares a story about a kid who was beaten to death by his dad.
Toby got the bruises from you. You hit him.
Robert Kelly
So are you accusing me of beating up my own son?
Unknown
Look, I know there are reasons these things tell you.
Robert Kelly
I hit him.
Unknown
I think we should discuss this. I'm not gonna listen to this crap. Just sit down, Larry.
Robert Kelly
Okay? Here's your drink. Forget it. Yo, by the way. Pause it again. Pause against. By the way.
Big Jay Oakerson
They're both like, oh, shit. I just showed him capable of violence.
Robert Kelly
The funny thing is the deafening silence from a studio audience that didn't know they were coming to see a special. And it's like he goes, get that goddamn shit away from me. He's like, is this what? This hasn't been funny at all?
Big Jay Oakerson
Ricky better come in with that train pretty soon.
Robert Kelly
Why sure, if Alfonso Ribiero dances his way through the sea. Because I don't like this.
Big Jay Oakerson
I gotta get these couches for my studio.
Robert Kelly
These are good couches. It's a fucking stuffed dog.
Big Jay Oakerson
He loves toys. But high end, unplayable toys.
Unknown
Kid came into the hospital, he was pretty banged up. And the doctors found out that his father had been beating him.
Big Jay Oakerson
He looks like Daniel Simonson, but doesn't sound like it.
Robert Kelly
Case went to court, every angular face.
Unknown
Swore up and down that he would never do that again.
Robert Kelly
And then he killed him.
Unknown
So the judge gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Robert Kelly
Okay, how'd that work out?
Unknown
A month later, he lost control and hit his son again.
Robert Kelly
Okay. And one more time, found himself right back in court.
Unknown
Only this time, yeah, he was on trial for murder.
Toby's dad then breaks.
Robert Kelly
Hey, dad. Me and Toby were passing. Hey, Toby's dad's here.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, oh, oh. He slowly goes out of the room. Through the door, he goes, hey, dad.
Robert Kelly
Hey, dad. Hey, dad, why is your gin Ricky on the. Oh, boy.
Ari Shaffir
Is this the dad apologizing to the the sun now?
Robert Kelly
By the way, pretty funny, that. Pretty funny that Ricky Stratton's dad was trying to give the dad a drink. The very thing that fuels his beatings.
Big Jay Oakerson
Lime, Ricky.
Unknown
He has a problem. And while they probably should call the police or child protective services, they don't. Instead, it's decided that Toby's dad is going to a group called Parents Anonymous to get help for his anger and abuse problems, while Toby will go to live with his aunt. Spare the Rod is a well rounded episode of Silver Spoons. Great job.
Big Jay Oakerson
Very positive.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. Oftentimes, I think parents come to the realization of their. I think abusive parents often go, wait, has this been abusive? I've been beating the living out of you.
Big Jay Oakerson
No, but I thought, okay, everyone, Adrian Peterson got in trouble the NFL for hitting his kid.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
And then they asked.
Robert Kelly
That's what my mother did.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Every other black player was like, oh, man, I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. You guys lost me on this one. My shady told me to not weigh in, so I'm gonna knock our way in.
Robert Kelly
But I don't. Are you saying that you should beat your kids? He goes, you know, man, I'm just gonna. Just hang on. Whoa. Hey, is that a deer?
Big Jay Oakerson
There's a lot I gotta. Yeah, I gotta figure out. I'm gonna beat my kid over this and come to a decision. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.
Robert Kelly
I'll circle back with you.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'm being told this might be the last time I ever get to beat him. So I gotta really relish this.
Robert Kelly
Now. The episode is going to be called Shape Up. What do we think? This one's about.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, bulimia. Which did not take because the kid still had bulimia. But it's not the one. They should have gone off to one of the babies here. Instead it went off to one of the older ones. This baby could have used the fucking. Who was watch on this episode?
Robert Kelly
Was it Gibler or was it DJ?
Ari Shaffir
I bet DJs throwing up because she's a little puffy.
Big Jay Oakerson
She's a little pudgeo. She's like, who's the chicken? Won American Idol and then fucking porked out Kelly Clarkson.
Ari Shaffir
She took Ozempic or Munch.
Robert Kelly
She ozempic back down. She looks great, whatever.
Big Jay Oakerson
But anyway, she's got that life in store for her.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, this one's like a crazy Christian.
Robert Kelly
Oh, she's a lun. Yeah. Didn't she like she married. She married like hockey player Pavel Bure, I think.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, really?
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Though Kimmy Gibblet looks like she swallows dicks with her butt. Kimmy's not here as an older. Wait, who's the one on the left?
Ari Shaffir
That's Stephanie. That's Stephanie Tanner. Michelle, buddy.
Robert Kelly
Stephanie I. I bet was wild.
Ari Shaffir
Like a meth problem.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Someone threw a bong out a window.
Robert Kelly
A serious meth problem.
Big Jay Oakerson
Nice.
Robert Kelly
She's back in the game. I think she does like a lot of podcast episodes too. I'd love to talk to her, but I think she's pretty open about it. She had like a wacky method.
Big Jay Oakerson
Wow.
Ari Shaffir
But I think she like came back around and adopted.
Big Jay Oakerson
Hey, can we get Snap back?
Robert Kelly
I think she, I mean, you know, I don't know what she struggles with, but I mean, she seems to have her together.
Big Jay Oakerson
Can we get Tina Yothers on here and I can confront her about the fake relationship I told everybody we have for years.
Robert Kelly
I bet we could probably get Tina Yothers on this show.
Ari Shaffir
Who's Tina Yuthers?
Big Jay Oakerson
Who's Tina Yuthers? First of all, one of the youngest of my life.
Robert Kelly
I almost threw a water at you just now.
Ari Shaffir
Somebody from one of your old timey TV shows.
Big Jay Oakerson
She's from.
Robert Kelly
Do you know she's from Family Ties.
Big Jay Oakerson
Do you know who the younger sister on Family Ties where Justine Bateman was Michael J.
Robert Kelly
Fox's first role and Meredith Baxter Bernie, who eventually, ironically became famous for being beaten nonstop on television.
Big Jay Oakerson
I met her at Coaching Horses. I did. I was talking to her before I realized who she was. We started a thing. Uhhuh. Anyway, I got my friend to leave fake voicemails on My machine to prove that we were going out. It happened years I was going out for te others fake years. Very casual conversation. Hey, it's Tina. Listen, Saturday's not going to work, but can we hang out on Wednesday? Just casual message play for other people is proof when they denied it. But oh, she called me right now. It's like, oh, it was so set up.
Robert Kelly
You were banging teeny hus in fake.
Ari Shaffir
World and you had it. Do you had a fake number saved in your phone?
Big Jay Oakerson
Fake number as teeny others?
Robert Kelly
Absolutely.
Big Jay Oakerson
In my. In my flip phone.
Robert Kelly
So great.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, it's. It's just a believable enough celebrity wise.
Ari Shaffir
Wait, is this her?
Robert Kelly
Yeah, but that was. That was probably when she was like taking some drugs to make herself look better.
Big Jay Oakerson
Also to have fun. She was in Hollywood.
Robert Kelly
They really say it's one of the saddest things.
Christine
This show is sponsored by Better Help. Listen. This year it's time to start doing the things you want to do, become the person you want to be. And everybody needs a little help. You can't do it on your own. You can't white knuckle your life. You can't hold that steering wheel too tight and try to do everything on your own. You can start right now and do the things you want to do, be the person you want to be and have the life you want to have. And that starts with therapy. Everybody needs somebody neutral to talk to. Somebody you can go in and just tell them what you need to tell them. You can't tell your wife everything. You can't tell your friends everything. You need somebody to let it all out so you can have a clean slate. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credited therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easy to switch therapies anytime you want. You can switch a therapist anytime you want at no extra cost. Right now. You gotta go to BetterHelp right now. Write your story with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.combonfire to get 10% off your first month. That's better. H E L P help.combonfire netcredit is.
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Unknown
People if you could hear love, what would it sound like.
Robert Kelly
Son, can we.
Big Jay Oakerson
Talk about your drinking? Yeah, dad, I think we should.
Unknown
Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. More@rethinkthedrink.com an OHA initiative.
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You say you'll learn a new language each year, but few actually follow through with this. Babbel makes it easy for you to learn one in less time than you think. Babbel's 10 minute lessons created by over 200 experts helps you start speaking a new language in three weeks or at your own pace. Como estas? I'm only on week one with focus on practical real world conversations. It makes learning to communicate easy and effective. It's been very, very easy. I've done it when I've been in the car, I've listened to it in the car when I've taken long drives and it has been very, very helpful. I'm going to pick up this Spanish before you know it so I can finally talk to my own daughter. Listen, let's get more of you talking in a new language right now because Babel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions. At babel.combonfire you get up to 60% off babel.combonf spelled B A B B E L.combonfire babbel.combonfire rules and restrictions may apply. They booked her on the show very young and she. She went through really awkward years with a much more attractive bigger sister character.
Big Jay Oakerson
Much more attractive. Justine Bateman was a. Was a legit hot actress.
Ari Shaffir
She looks cute now, but it looks.
Robert Kelly
She figured out her thing. But I'm saying she's like, yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
What she should have done, they should have made her goth. As soon as she got awkward. They should have gothed her out.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
And then let her like lean into that for a couple years, find herself and then flourish as a new person.
Robert Kelly
With Sarah Gilbert, you stopped even thinking. You almost for a second start going, sarah Gilbert kind of cute. Almost. Because she's just like that curly. Don't give a fuck.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
She got there out and you were like, yeah. You know. Yeah. Instead of just trying to make her look. Instead of trying to make her like look like everybody else in school and wearing the same fashions and she's a goofy looking one. Yeah. Teeny others. Poor girl.
Big Jay Oakerson
Not poor girl. Great relationship. Excellent. Always meaningful conversations we have.
Robert Kelly
But yes, I do think for you, Ari. I do believe we can get teeny others.
Ari Shaffir
Why is this picture of her 375 fucking dollars.
Robert Kelly
Why wouldn't it be?
Big Jay Oakerson
It's a Getty image. Yeah, so use it.
Robert Kelly
By the way. By the way, if you get the large, it's five hundo. Should we just get it? Oh, wait, you know what it is? It's hilarious. You know what it is? It's the cut. You're buying actual. That's. We would own our. It's an nft. You're buying. No, it's an nft. Absolutely no.
Big Jay Oakerson
Really.
Robert Kelly
Look what it says. It's the image.
Big Jay Oakerson
I can't read this blurry ass thing from this far away.
Robert Kelly
Blurry ass? But look, it's. It's standard.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, it does. It's like I didn't notice. I did notice. I hate the Lakers.
Robert Kelly
You get editorial rights of it.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, interesting. So you can talk about it. No one else can talk about it.
Robert Kelly
So does that mean if we posted this picture right now, we'd be in lots of trouble. We'd be sued up the S for 500. Up to $500 of we have to pay for this picture.
Big Jay Oakerson
Prove it.
Ari Shaffir
That's crazy.
Robert Kelly
I swear to you right now, Christy, I want to give you my credit card to purchase a picture of teeny Yothers in a. In a Lakers girl uniform for five. And then, Christine, your new job, while I'm going on the weekends, is combing the Internet for people who owe me money. I want you non stop, day and night, combing every site looking for this picture being used against permission. I give no one permission to use this. In fact, I want you. I'm gonna spend the whole money. I'm gonna spend the whole thing. Get the small, medium and the large. No one's allowed to use this image at all in the world but me. I own the small, medium and large version of it.
Ari Shaffir
I don't know if that's what it means.
Robert Kelly
Don't tell me what things mean.
Ari Shaffir
Christine.
Robert Kelly
Christine. Not when it comes to this. Oh, is there a whole bunch of NFTs of teeny others I could buy? I want to own all of her images. I want. Did she date a Laker for a minute.
Big Jay Oakerson
Who's that? That looks like an actor.
Robert Kelly
Not a lady does like an actor.
Ari Shaffir
Paul Jo Johansson as Brett.
Robert Kelly
Oh, at as. Oh, so it's just an acting role she had.
Big Jay Oakerson
She was probably in, oh, you know, playing a cheerleader. She was like a cheerleader.
Robert Kelly
Wow, that's pretty funny. She probably felt so she took whatever shitty movie that was just to be like, yo, no, I'm real. They want me to be a pretty cheerleader.
Big Jay Oakerson
I can do it. Yeah, she's pretty There.
Robert Kelly
Where?
Big Jay Oakerson
That one to the right.
Ari Shaffir
Blurry.
Robert Kelly
That's the first of all, Ari. I own that picture. So before you even look at it, Ari, look away. That's mine. That's Mayans.
Ari Shaffir
This one you can look at. Jay doesn't own this pose.
Robert Kelly
Which one? That one. I don't, but find out how much I could buy it for.
Big Jay Oakerson
I'm biggin it and begging it because.
Robert Kelly
I'm coming in so hot for fucking Teeny Others. What do you collect all of teeny Other's images.
Big Jay Oakerson
She's cute. And I have no regrets about our relationship.
Robert Kelly
I'm trying to own the intellectual property that is Teeny Others digitally, all of you.
Big Jay Oakerson
I want all of it. More than 375. It's gonna be a couple thousand.
Robert Kelly
She could have her own Facebook, Instagram, but that is it. Any other picture that's been taken of teeny Others will be in sole possession of me.
Ari Shaffir
Do you want to see the bulimic episode?
Robert Kelly
You know, I do. At this point, I want to start going through them just to see if we can guess what the special episode was about. Go ahead.
Unknown
Because Full house started in 1987.
Robert Kelly
Kimmy, how do you stay so skinny on this list?
Unknown
Even though it technically aired the first time in early 1991, it was just too memorable to leave out because I'm.
Robert Kelly
Close to Kimmy Gibbler. Like, I'd love to go with you, but you're too fat.
Big Jay Oakerson
Kimmy Gibble was just. She was just a ditz, right? She was the Woody Harrelson character.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Ari Shaffir
And she had smelly feet was her thing.
Robert Kelly
Ditz. And also, you're sorry to say, for Kimmy Gibbler. And they did this oftentimes. And these poor kids didn't know they were. That it's what turned. It's what literally broke Screech's brain is you go, well, I'm playing the character of this. And it goes, no, you're also like. They think you're ugly also. You're supposed to be kind of the ugly, goofy girl next door. Like, no one thinks you're pretty or anything. The problem. That's why Genevan Oy had to fucking Steve Stefan. They had to hit the. Hit the bricks with Jenna Von Oyff, the friend from Blossom. She got. They did the reverse role there. They made the. The lesser attractive girl, the star, and her best friend was. Ended up being smoking hot fucking Genovan away.
Big Jay Oakerson
And then that's why Urkel was like, hey, I gotta prove to you I'm not this Fucking nerd. Give me staphon. I don't care if it makes no sense.
Robert Kelly
He's like, I'm a teenager and seeing people and I'm just. They're thinking.
Big Jay Oakerson
They're all making fun of me.
Robert Kelly
Mm.
Big Jay Oakerson
Give me Stefan. I can play in the NBA all star celebrity version came.
Robert Kelly
Yes.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah. This was Genevan Oi.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, my God. What has she been in?
Robert Kelly
Remember her number six?
Ari Shaffir
Awesome.
Big Jay Oakerson
Genevan Oyve.
Robert Kelly
Comedy.
Big Jay Oakerson
Look at that. Oh, yeah.
Robert Kelly
She went for it for a minute.
Big Jay Oakerson
DeviantArt. I remember DeviantArt.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. She went. Jenna Von always started showing a little butt cheek for a while there.
Big Jay Oakerson
She was flat but curvy at the same time. One of those who.
Robert Kelly
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Nice.
Robert Kelly
She just. Yeah. When I was a teenager, I didn't understand why I was so. I'm like, this looks weird. Her waist is really thin, but her ass is enormous. And you're like. It's like a fat ass. But she's not fat. I don't know what I'm feeling.
Big Jay Oakerson
Doesn't make sense. And black people like, welcome.
Robert Kelly
But I also. Dude, I was so horned up. I thought Blossom was cute and I found the good in everybody.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's right. You were a very positive youth, Newt.
Robert Kelly
But even Kimmy Gibbler. I was like. I was like, I would because I think she would.
Ari Shaffir
Blossom is cute.
Robert Kelly
Ish.
Big Jay Oakerson
Remember when she got in trouble for saying you shouldn't go up to somebody's producer's hotel room because you could just have a meeting downstairs.
Robert Kelly
So obviously don't go up there.
Big Jay Oakerson
Fuck you. Whatever they want.
Robert Kelly
Bialik.
Ari Shaffir
Why did she say that?
Big Jay Oakerson
You know, during the me too thing, she was like, listen. And she even was like, pretty clear. She's like, guys, no one deserves anything like this. But young actresses. Can you just start using your head? Don't go up to hotel rooms. I don't go up to hotel rooms. They were gasping like, you're ugly, though. You Jewish.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. They're not wrong. But here's the thing. She wasn't though. They. The problem was it was short lived. They got her for a moment. Go back to those pictures of Mayim Bialik.
Big Jay Oakerson
Well, she ended up doing another mass. She was known as Blossom and always will be. And then she did a long stint on the nerd show.
Robert Kelly
Of course. No, but here's the thing.
Ari Shaffir
So did the boyfriend from the Roseanne. Roseanne.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Ari Shaffir
They had a whole big money.
Robert Kelly
No, no, absolutely. It's a.
Big Jay Oakerson
Is that the one who went to jail for rape?
Ari Shaffir
No, that's Danny masters from that 70s show.
Robert Kelly
So. No, but here's my point of saying right about the end of Blossom. First, they were starting to figure out she was getting older.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Mayan Bioch. And they were figuring out, go down, go down like she can.
Big Jay Oakerson
She's actually cute.
Robert Kelly
Where's the one right there. She's genuinely pretty. I would have liked this girl all through high school for sure.
Big Jay Oakerson
Tiffany pretty.
Robert Kelly
And then real pretty.
Big Jay Oakerson
She's Tiffany pretty.
Robert Kelly
I got you. But I'm saying almost an approachable.
Big Jay Oakerson
Almost unapproachable.
Robert Kelly
Almost approachable. I'm saying approachable. Pretty. But she. But they made her like. And you were almost be like, oh, shit. They took the dorky girl and she figured out how to get pretty. This is like when Courtney Schwartzberg showed up for the junior prom looking all good.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
But here.
Big Jay Oakerson
Made her quirky. They weren't making her ugly. They're making her quirky. Which is interesting.
Robert Kelly
No, absolutely. But I'm saying she figured out almost like a look to make her like attractive as a celebrity. But then Judy is a man. It really just comes sometimes for the ladies. And it just somewhere. Because the next time she emerged, she emerged and you go, oh, look at her playing this character on Big Bang Theory. But that's who she is now.
Big Jay Oakerson
Who she is. She's just some Jew now.
Robert Kelly
She's a Jewish lady who wears from sweaters.
Big Jay Oakerson
What does it do to our faces where that's like, I can never imagine a cute young woman.
Robert Kelly
Nope.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's just straight fucking professor.
Robert Kelly
Yep. Just. You've always been a serious old lady. But look.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
You're like, sure.
Big Jay Oakerson
Very successful.
Ari Shaffir
Well, she actually became a neuroscientist and then went on Big Bang.
Big Jay Oakerson
I believe that too for sure.
Robert Kelly
But it's just so funny how fast she went from like, here's the thing.
Big Jay Oakerson
She was in line to host Jeopardy.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Like I make the questions in these.
Robert Kelly
Late teens, early 20 years pictures they have of her being like, pretty, though she's caring about things. Like still about like the way she, you know, I mean, like, does this look good? Does my ass look Goodness, am I sting?
Big Jay Oakerson
Right?
Robert Kelly
She did care about her looks. And then just like she was like, no, I'm like a smelly, smart person.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Now she runs a foundation.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Jacob
She columbused herself.
Ari Shaffir
She can still. She can still. I mean, the character is very dorky on the show. She can still, I think, get done volleyball.
Robert Kelly
Fucking crazy man of real estate. From that lower lip to chin.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's a long.
Robert Kelly
That's.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's Somebody pulled that apart. That's a fucking lenoad.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, that seems like something.
Big Jay Oakerson
It really is Judaism. It just comes to it. Same with a fat Mexican too. Eventually he gets super hot young and then it's like, what the. How'd you tell it to run Abuela so fast?
Robert Kelly
Oh, man, you're right. Is his. And also, yeah, Asian also hits a. I'm not talking every race obviously hits a wall.
Big Jay Oakerson
I know, but I'm just saying.
Robert Kelly
I'm talking about. But I'm talking about the immediate. Like over night. You're just not that person anymore. You're like, oh, wow. You've become like an older person. People who go from child to lady.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Jacob
The one that defied it all, I still swear is beautiful today is Mia Sarah. She aged better than anyone. Sloan Peterson.
Robert Kelly
Sloan Peterson. Ferris Bueller's girlfriend.
Jacob
She looks phenomenal today.
Robert Kelly
Listen.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, Mayim Bialik.
Jacob
Mia Sarah.
Big Jay Oakerson
She went from like, you're right, like cute like Jap to softer.
Robert Kelly
Yes. She really did soft it out. Who's this? That's not me.
Big Jay Oakerson
Sarah. No, it's just some chick.
Robert Kelly
Just look up some other chick.
Big Jay Oakerson
Look at that chick.
Robert Kelly
Just play Kimmy Gibler.
Big Jay Oakerson
Eat something.
Jacob
No, Nope.
Robert Kelly
It'S Mia. It's M I A S A R A. But it's fine.
Unknown
Cameron, who I adore and I remember it having such an effect on me. Of course. Full House was a staple of ABC's TGIF lineup, with the series being centered widower Danny Tanner raising his three daughters with his brother in law Jesse and friend Joey. Over the course of eight seasons, Full House explored its share of serious topics like child abuse, teen drinking and sex. The very special episode, the best one of Full House, came in late season four and it was titled Shape Up.
Big Jay Oakerson
Is that Ricky Martin in the back of that?
Robert Kelly
It is Ricky Martin poster?
Ari Shaffir
That's George. George Michael.
Robert Kelly
Michael. It's also funny to say this and looking at her hair now and how ridiculous it was and obviously it's about her becoming bulimic. I think, though I was probably the right age for it. Like I said when the show started, I was 10. I kind of followed her along as like a girl. Like, I bought like Bop, not Bop magazine, but what Tiger Beat and those.
Big Jay Oakerson
Were jerked off to in the backseat of cars outside of school maybe?
Robert Kelly
No, I never did that. But I mean, I definitely, like, I definitely. I thought she was like hot. Like when I was a kid, she was like a hot chick to me. I thought she was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Candace Cameron particularly, I agree in fact, followed it on. Then I was kind of like checking back in. I'm like, she was always so pretty. And then she was with Pavel Bure. And then she's like, now she's like mega conservative, annoying with her stupid brother.
Big Jay Oakerson
Who's her brother?
Robert Kelly
Kirk Cameron.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah. They're crazy.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's Kirk Cameron's sister?
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big Jay Oakerson
Wow. He got real Christian. Would let. Wouldn't. Had to write off a lady from a show because she posed naked.
Robert Kelly
Playboy. Julia McCullough.
Big Jay Oakerson
She was so hot.
Robert Kelly
She was so hot. And also on the show. Also on the show. Believable. And I loved when she came on Growing Pain. It may have been a jump to shark moment. I don't know. But I'm saying, for someone who didn't know what that was at the time, you just watched the shows. When she came on, the show was like, oh, man, oh, man, that girl is beautiful. And then, like, years later, you know, that's beginning. This was this pre Internet. So there's no one like, you know she's a playboy. No one knew.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, right.
Jacob
You know what else is hot, Ari? Her soul. Because she's gonna burn in hell.
Robert Kelly
When you're right, you're right, Jacob.
Big Jay Oakerson
Let's hear he comes on Kirk Garment.
Robert Kelly
Let's see if we can get these pigs puking.
Unknown
The image and eating issues experienced by the Oldest Tanner daughter, D.J. she feels pressure because she'll have to wear a bathing suit to her best friend Kimmy Gibbler's pool party. DJ doesn't like the way she looks and decides she has to get skinny in the two weeks before the party.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Yeah.
Robert Kelly
That's dumb. That's like you're all. The only kind of weight you're gonna lose is like fighting weight. Like what you need to do. Like you're gonna lose water.
Big Jay Oakerson
You can cut, but that's about it. It now. Yeah. Go talk to a legit hot lady.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. Everyone's gonna know that you're a big fat pig still. They're just gonna think you look sick.
Jacob
She could lose a few.
Robert Kelly
She's a good child.
Big Jay Oakerson
Chubby in the face.
Robert Kelly
I love it. Of course. It's so funny. You're a child. Lose some weight, fat pig. There you go, sweetheart. Now you'll be pretty enough for prom. There you go.
Big Jay Oakerson
Always hold your partner's hair.
Robert Kelly
All right. Now men are gonna want you. Hey, if you're lucky, maybe that loud T. I noticed that loud teacher never molested you.
Unknown
Suit models on the fridge for inspiration. And she stops eating, but she still doesn't think she's losing enough.
Robert Kelly
Oh, yeah. She's talking to Lori Loughlin. This family loves shortcuts, am I right?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
This family loves shortcuts, don't they? Just because of the interest. I want to get through some more of these while we can. We know this one's about bulimia for sure. Let's see what the next.
Big Jay Oakerson
Just go to the next family ties.
Robert Kelly
Oh, Mr. Belvedere. Wesley's friend. Okay. Wesley's the littlest boy.
Big Jay Oakerson
What's the name of the episode?
Robert Kelly
Christine, get off, though. Don't do that because I want to see.
Big Jay Oakerson
What's the name of the episode? Wesley's.
Robert Kelly
Wesley's friend again. It's also. They really never wanted you to, like, talk about never dealing with issues. How about it happening to the kids in the family more? And it was always some friend they had to deal with. And what if, like, it'd be funny if the episode just started. He goes, dad, my friend's being abused by his father. And you go, son, we got our own problems. I'll be honest with you. I can't, like. What do you want me to do about that?
Big Jay Oakerson
Making ends meet this month.
Ari Shaffir
Wasn't there a rumor this was a Marilyn Manson?
Robert Kelly
Yes, it was. Kevin. Kevin from Mr. Bell with you.
Ari Shaffir
Right.
Robert Kelly
And Paul Pfeiffer from Wonderful.
Big Jay Oakerson
Dead on a. On a. On a beach in Vancouver.
Robert Kelly
Who? Paul Sorvino.
Big Jay Oakerson
Boner.
Robert Kelly
A Boner.
Big Jay Oakerson
Bonus to Bone.
Robert Kelly
Did he really?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah, his sister was a comedian.
Robert Kelly
Do you remember? Really? Do you know Boners? To Bone's father's name?
Big Jay Oakerson
Marilyn Manson?
Robert Kelly
Nope. It's a very funny thing they did.
Big Jay Oakerson
No.
Robert Kelly
What in an episode. Sylvester. So Boner Stabone's father's name was Sylvester Stabone.
Big Jay Oakerson
It's not bad. Who's that chick? She's cute. The mom. I remember being hotter. That's. She's grody.
Robert Kelly
I remember mom being hotter, too. But, like, I also almost instinctually just had a thing for the first older lady in a thing that. Not even the sister? No, the mom. I could always find a thing about the mom.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Yeah.
Robert Kelly
I was like the sister. But I was also mostly checking out the mom because she had usually boobs and things.
Big Jay Oakerson
So you think the mama. Growing Pains. I remember her being hot.
Robert Kelly
You think Joanna Kearns?
Big Jay Oakerson
She had to be hot.
Robert Kelly
She wasn't that hot at all. I thought Larry Apple. I thought Larry Appleton's girlfriend from Perfect Strangers was the end all. Be all of hot. She's pretty.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's it.
Robert Kelly
She's pretty.
Big Jay Oakerson
Wow. I'm saying, I'm saying a friend's getting molested. Yeah. Or Wesley's friend could be friends with a retard.
Robert Kelly
We both just saw the same screen cap because Christine won't stop doing the goddamn thing I told her. And we all.
Big Jay Oakerson
Goofy kid.
Robert Kelly
God damn it, let's see it. Well, give us one chance to see. Give us one chance to just say, I know, I got to do the plugs and everything. Mr. Belvedere. Oh, after Ryan White.
Big Jay Oakerson
He's gay at that age.
Robert Kelly
Oh, wait, no, it's aids.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Somebody called in earlier with this information. Aids?
Robert Kelly
Yeah. Well.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, it's.
Robert Kelly
Right. So it's.
Ari Shaffir
Oh, kid actually had aids.
Robert Kelly
Well, Ryan White had aids.
Big Jay Oakerson
What has he got, a short sleeve sweater?
Robert Kelly
No, Ryan White.
Big Jay Oakerson
What the fuck is he wearing?
Robert Kelly
Dude, wasn't Ryan White. One of the kids were like, Michael Jackson. Like, like, he's like, oh, thank God Ryan White finally died with all that information.
Big Jay Oakerson
Oh, really?
Robert Kelly
I think so. Although I guess it's not cool if it didn't happen that I'm going like, Ryan White was molested by Michael Jackson. Just let that sit in the other.
Big Jay Oakerson
This kid's not. That's just one of the guys with.
Unknown
All the misinformation that he's heard. Wesley doesn't want to wear the Lincoln costume and wants Danny to stay away from him. The family has a discussion through which viewers learn that AIDS is contracted through sexual contact, infected needles and contaminated blood. Still, Mr. Belvedere and Mr. Well, I've.
Robert Kelly
Been becoming blood brothers and butt fucking my new friend.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's the issue.
Robert Kelly
Mom that's the problem. Yeah, mom was hot to me. Still, I get the thing.
Big Jay Oakerson
You're just like, better there than the picture.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. You're like, can I sit on your lap? Hug me. I know we have to break. I know I could have done this forever.
Big Jay Oakerson
Well, let's say this, the next time I come back.
Robert Kelly
We absolutely will, Ari Shafir. Just remember it.
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah. We'll get right back into it.
Robert Kelly
Ari Shafir is gonna be on the flip.
Big Jay Oakerson
Don't do it without me.
Robert Kelly
I won't do it without you.
Big Jay Oakerson
Okay.
Robert Kelly
It's very fun, right?
Big Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
The farewell tour dates coming up in Atlanta, Seattle, Calgary, Port Bray of Vancouver, Edmonton, Portland, Denver, and so much more. For tickets and all tour dates, visit arishafir.com and use the promo code Ari for the pre sale that starts today, Wednesday. So make sure you check out Ari's new show, you be tripping Travel podcast@YouTube.come Shafir.
Big Jay Oakerson
That's wrong address.
Robert Kelly
Robert, is it?
Ari Shaffir
It is.
Big Jay Oakerson
You'll be tripping.
Ari Shaffir
I did that.
Big Jay Oakerson
I thought that you didn't come up. Try it again.
Robert Kelly
YouTube.com@you be tripping. You be tripping.
Big Jay Oakerson
Pod maybe. Listen, we're all well, in the meantime.
Robert Kelly
I'll tell you, Robert Kelly is gonna be at the Acme Comedy Company this weekend. Everybody. I'm gonna be in Buffalo Helium in two weeks. So many fun dates coming up. Everybody. Check me out. Bigj comedy.com punchup live/robert Kelly and Ari.
Big Jay Oakerson
I got one thing, guys. It's the fucking Yankees. And it's the World Series. And if you're a New York fan, you've been a bandwagon fan. We accept. You don't get tickets to the game, but go fucking wear your jersey. Walk the streets, celebrate in the city's subway series will be the greatest thing ever in the city. Get out there and show your support. All are welcome.
Robert Kelly
Aaron Gucci. Aaron Gucci.
Big Jay Oakerson
I thought you were a. And I was right.
Robert Kelly
She's a Phillies fan. We might be right back. Maybe not maybe, maybe not. Everybody, it's the bonfire. Netcredit is here to say yes to.
Big Jay Oakerson
A personal loan or line of credit. When other lenders say no, apply in.
Robert Kelly
Minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by Netcredit or lending partner.
Big Jay Oakerson
Banks and serviced by Netcredit Application subject.
Robert Kelly
To review and approval.
Big Jay Oakerson
Learn more@netcredit.com partners netcredit credit to the.
Robert Kelly
People when work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have.
Big Jay Oakerson
A few cold ones. I don't drink at all until 4:00. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night.
Unknown
Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks a few nights a week, it can add up. And suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the drink more at rethinktodrink.
Big Jay Oakerson
Com.
Unknown
NOHA initiative.
Podcast Summary: "Jenna Von Oy Vey with Ari Shaffir"
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: January 1, 2025
In this episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, the hosts delve into nostalgic discussions about classic TV shows, focusing heavily on Full House and its impact on viewers. Joined by special guest comedian Ari Shaffir, the trio navigates through humorous anecdotes, critical analyses, and personal reflections on beloved sitcoms from the late '80s and '90s.
Analyzing Key Episodes and Themes
The conversation kicks off with an exploration of Full House, particularly highlighting the special episode titled "Shape Up." Robert Kelly initiates the discussion by reminiscing about the show's influence during his formative years.
Big Jay and Ari contribute by dissecting the portrayal of serious issues within the show, such as child abuse, teen drinking, and eating disorders, juxtaposed against its otherwise wholesome facade.
Character Development and Impact
The hosts critically examine the character arcs, especially focusing on DJ Tanner's struggle with bulimia as depicted in "Shape Up."
They discuss the effectiveness of the show's handling of such sensitive topics, balancing humor with meaningful storytelling.
Mayim Bialik and Cast Evolution
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Mayim Bialik's transition from her role in Blossom to her later success in The Big Bang Theory. The hosts appreciate her evolution, noting her academic achievements alongside her acting career.
Robert Kelly ([27:00]): "She really did soft it out. Who's this? That's not me."
Big Jay Oakerson ([27:55]): "She's Tiffany pretty."
Kimmy Gibbler's Role and Reception
Kimmy Gibbler, portrayed by Andrea Barber, is another focal point. The hosts critique her character's portrayal as the "goofy girl next door," discussing how it shaped perceptions and contributed to the show's dynamic.
Robert Kelly ([25:04]): "She just. Yeah. When I was a teenager, I didn't understand why I was so."
Ari Shaffir ([27:46]): "She can still. I mean, the character is very dorky on the show."
Behind-the-Scenes Stories
Big Jay shares a personal anecdote about his interactions with Tina Yothers, furthering the nostalgic vibe with humorous undertones.
Big Jay Oakerson ([15:17]): "She's from Family Ties."
Robert Kelly ([16:03]): "So great."
NFT and Intellectual Property Humor
A playful segment ensues when discussing NFTs related to teeny others, blending contemporary topics with classic TV references.
Robert Kelly ([21:07]): "I want to own all of her images. I want."
Big Jay Oakerson ([22:45]): "I can't read this blurry ass thing from this far away."
Impact of Classic Sitcoms
The hosts reflect on the lasting impact of sitcoms like Full House and Growing Pains, contemplating their roles in shaping societal views and personal values.
Robert Kelly ([33:45]): "We both just saw the same screen cap because Christine won't stop doing the goddamn thing I told her."
Big Jay Oakerson ([37:49]): "I'll tell you, Robert Kelly is gonna be at the Acme Comedy Company this weekend."
Balancing Humor with Serious Topics
The episode wraps up with a blend of humor and sincere commentary on how sitcoms managed to address significant issues while maintaining entertainment value. The hosts emphasize the importance of such shows in providing comfort and sparking important conversations.
Big Jay Oakerson ([38:21]): "She's a Phillies fan. We might be right back. Maybe not maybe, maybe not."
Robert Kelly ([39:17]): "Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us."
Robert Kelly ([02:16]): "Yeah, well, he's gay like every other."
Big Jay Oakerson ([32:41]): "DJ doesn't like the way she looks and decides she has to get skinny in the two weeks before the party."
Ari Shaffir ([27:46]): "She can still. I mean, the character is very dorky on the show."
Robert Kelly ([21:07]): "I want to own all of her images. I want."
Big Jay Oakerson ([38:21]): "She's a Phillies fan. We might be right back. Maybe not maybe, maybe not."
This episode of The Bonfire masterfully intertwines humor with thoughtful analysis, offering listeners a comprehensive look back at iconic TV shows and their enduring legacy. Through engaging banter and insightful discussions, Big Jay, Robert, and Ari Shaffir celebrate the nostalgia while critiquing the nuanced portrayal of complex issues in beloved sitcoms.