Junkies & Peaches

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Junkies & Peaches" – The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Released on June 24, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Junkies & Peaches" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, listeners are treated to a blend of sharp humor, candid conversations, and behind-the-scenes dynamics within the show's crew. Hosted by veteran stand-up comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, this episode delves into Bobby Kelly’s recent stint in what the hosts humorously refer to as the "Rogan Sphere," interpersonal tensions among the team, and a series of lighthearted yet pointed exchanges that showcase the duo's trademark unfiltered honesty.

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Bobby Kelly’s Experience in the "Rogan Sphere"

The episode kicks off with Robert Kelly expressing his frustration over a brief absence from the show, during which he claims to have "successfully joined the Rogan Sphere."

• Robert Kelly: "Last week I go away for five seconds, I miss one show to go off and successfully join the Rogan Sphere." [01:15]

This "sphere" appears to symbolize a prestigious or exclusive circle within the comedy or podcasting community, possibly referencing The Joe Rogan Experience. Bobby narrates his rapid induction process, emphasizing the high expectations and increased responsibilities that came with it.

• Robert Kelly: "It comes with its own set of responsibilities... A lot of personal appearances. You got to answer a lot more emails. A lot of more offers are coming." [03:04]

Robert's return to The Bonfire finds him grappling with the changes he perceives within the show's environment, particularly feeling unsupported by his colleagues during his absence.

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Tension and Apologies Among Hosts and Crew

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Robert Kelly's grievances regarding his perception of a lack of familial support from the crew, especially Christine. This culminates in a humorous yet pointed demand for apologies from his teammates.

• Robert Kelly: "This is what's going on. I come home to this." [03:52]
• Robert Kelly: "Everybody owes Robert Kelly a big, huge, fat apology." [08:08]

Jacob and Lou, presumably fellow team members, make attempts to apologize, though their sincerity is humorously questionable. Christine’s inability to adequately address Robert's concerns adds to the comedic tension.

• Lou: "I'm sorry I let you down, sir." [08:21]
• Robert Kelly: "Christine. She doesn't want to." [08:28]

The exchanges highlight the camaraderie and underlying tensions within the team, all delivered with the show's characteristic blunt humor.

---

Father's Day Celebrations and Personal Anecdotes

Shifting gears, the hosts share personal stories about their Father's Day celebrations, blending heartfelt moments with comedic observations.

• Big Jay Oakerson: "I called my mom at my dad's grave." [59:51]
• Christine: "I got a Blackstone Grill. And we're getting in the mail... I'm really excited for the bedjet you're getting it." [61:28]

These segments offer listeners a glimpse into the hosts' personal lives, showcasing their ability to intertwine genuine emotions with humor.

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Humorous Takes on Local Experiences

The episode also features lighthearted discussions about local establishments, such as the "Jefferson Valley Mall," affectionately dubbed the "ghetto mall." The hosts humorously dissect various stores and experiences, punctuating their commentary with playful banter and exaggerated stereotypes for comedic effect.

• Big Jay Oakerson: "Look, the problem is... Isn't that crazy that someone does that?" [53:32]

These anecdotes serve to entertain while painting a vivid picture of everyday scenarios through the hosts' comedic lenses.

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Interactions with Other Podcasts and Media

A notable portion of the episode involves commentary on other podcasts, specifically Podcast Cringe and The Fighter and the Kid. The hosts react to clips and critiques from these shows, blending mock outrage with self-deprecating humor.

• Big Jay Oakerson: "Big J Orkerson is just from raw talent and ability to be nobody funny. There's nobody funny." [43:11]

These interactions not only provide comedic material but also highlight the competitive and often critical landscape of the podcasting world.

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Closing Remarks and Reflections

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the day's conversations, emphasizing themes of support, resilience, and the importance of maintaining camaraderie amidst challenges.

• Robert Kelly: "We need to have each other's back. This close to Juneteenth." [11:02]
• Big Jay Oakerson: "Can I ask you a question? Do you have to call him your North Star now?" [43:56]

These final moments reinforce the show's underlying message of unity and mutual support, wrapped in their signature comedic style.

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Conclusion

"Junkies & Peaches" offers a multifaceted glimpse into the dynamics of The Bonfire team, blending personal anecdotes, comedic tensions, and sharp social commentary. Through Bobby Kelly’s humorous recounting of his "Rogan Sphere" experience and the ensuing interactions among the hosts, listeners are treated to an engaging episode that balances humor with heartfelt reflections. Notable quotes punctuate the narrative, adding depth and relatability to the conversation, making it both entertaining and insightful for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

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This summary captures the essence of the "Junkies & Peaches" episode, highlighting key discussions and notable moments while maintaining the engaging and humorous spirit of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

America's beverage companies are investing in America. We're American companies making American products with.

[Big Jay Okerson]

American workers in America's hometowns.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're local bottlers and manufacturers operating in.

[Big Jay Okerson]

All 50 states, employing more than 275,000Americans in good paying jobs delivering for the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nation because we believe in the promise of America and the people who make it great.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Learn [e-mail] paid for by the American Beverage Association.

[Bobby Kelly]

Race the rudders.

[Christine]

Raise the sails.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Race the sails.

[Bobby Kelly]

Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching, Over. Roger.

[Christine]

Wait. Is that an enterprise sales solution?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more. We'll even give you a $100 credit.

[Bobby Kelly]

On your next campaign.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Get started today at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I look around this room, you know what I see?

[Big Jay Okerson]

What's up?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you. Do you know what I don't see?

[Big Jay Okerson]

What's happening?

[Bobby Kelly]

Family. What? A family. I see someone looking very sad and upset with how he was treated by what he thought was his family. Last week I go away for five seconds, I miss one show to go off and successfully join the Rogan Sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm sorry, what did you say?

[Bobby Kelly]

I went off and successfully joined the Rogan Sphere. He said it himself.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Said on the show, you're in. What? You're in the. You're in. You asked.

[Bobby Kelly]

We did. Three and a half hours. I wouldn't leave until he said I was in the Rogan Sphere. Yes, I'm in the Rogan Sphere. I told you I was gonna go. Come back in the Rogan Sphere. I'm back with them in the Rogan Sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He said it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he said the words. Can I please, Lou, I know you have to stay behind the thing. Can I get a little patriotic music, please? Christine Black. Lou, Jacob, could you guys up against the wall please, if you would.

[Jacob]

Here.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I need to speak to you guys. Bobby, you stay right there, buddy, okay? I got this. Cause I heard. I listened to Wednesday's broadcast. Yeah, I don't like what I heard.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Do you get anything with the sphere?

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Does anything come with the sphere?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, it's a world. It's a whirlwind. It's been non stop since I've been in the sphere, actually.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like swag. Did you get swag?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hmm?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Did you get swag?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sphere Swag Stuff's too. It's too high tech and big to call it swag. It's stuff.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What do you mean, stuff?

[Bobby Kelly]

We got stuff. DJ Louis Black, Lou, Jacob and Christine. My, my, my. One day I leave and you guys all turn on Bobby here. Bobby, four phone calls about this since I left, and I'm out there. Rogan's fearing, which comes with its own set of responsibilities.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like what? What do you have to do?

[Bobby Kelly]

There's just a lot of stuff. Just a lot of personal appearances. You got to answer a lot more emails. A lot of more offers are coming.

[Big Jay Okerson]

In, like, right away, immediately.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then we went to Terry Black's afterwards. It was crazy. My phone was blowing up. Show's not even out yet with him. Everything's changed. So when I leave, you guys are a family. You're supposed to be here to have Bobby's back to support him. When. Christine, I'm talking to you. Look forward. Yeah, I see this dissension in the ranks. I mean, and I don't like it. Bobby had a sad weekend. Now, we come here every day, three days a week, four episodes a week, and we work together as a family. And I walk away for five seconds to shoot a To the stars in the Rogan sphere. And this is what's going on. I come home to this.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're in the star. What does that mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

In the stratosphere, Bobby. God damn it. Why is this thing keep going off? I apologize, guys. I got to take a lot of phone calls.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What is that? Who's calling?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hello? Yeah, just like out back. Out back next to the ice plunge? Yeah, next to that. It'll be fine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, what was that? Sorry, what was that?

[Bobby Kelly]

My infrared sauna came.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So is that one of. Did you get a nice plunge, too?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is that the sphere?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, it comes with the sphere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You get a nice plunge and infrared.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sauna, free of charge. It's crazy. They want me to use it. It's crazy. Sphere life, Bobby. Well, can we get to that later?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I'm gone, I need you guys working cohesively as a family. When Bobby is falling to Ron Bennington's dry wit, you are supposed to come get behind him and build him up. Don't laugh. As Ron Bennington. Christine, I see you holding back a smile, and I swear to God, if you're chewing gum, I'm gonna go across your face.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Jay. That's what she was doing last week.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was doing that right there behind your back.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She was doing that right there. Look what she's doing right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's really funny.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She was doing that right now, right there, right there. I was over here and we were trying to get a show. We had all kinds of stuff let out, and I didn't know he was going to take a heel turn. And that's what she's. Look at what she's doing. She wasn't covering it like she is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you think things are very funny. I say you have to laugh straight for the next two full hours. You're not allowed to stop laughing at all. Go on. Go on, laughy. Have at it. Go.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't want to hear it. I can't. I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, stop it. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You're upsetting Bobby. I think all of you owe Bobby an apology.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sir, yes, sir.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob.

[Jacob]

Will I let you down?

[Bobby Kelly]

Does he feel you? Does he feel you let him down?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm gonna say this.

[Jacob]

I tried to go. I tried to do. I tried to speak horse.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm gonna say this feels.

[Bobby Kelly]

He let you down, dude. This is making me angry, but maybe.

[Big Jay Okerson]

If your confidence, if you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry, dude. Holy. Did I almost break that? This new testosterone Rogan gave me is worth it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You getting spirit, Roan?

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh?

[Big Jay Okerson]

You get sphere on.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not what it's called. Sphere. He's just trying to make up words. You can't just make up sphere words when you're not in the sphere. It's testosterone. It's Rogan testosterone, though. It comes right from him.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Does it come from a chimpanzee?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it comes from his. You get hormones.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You get his tea.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You have Rogan T running through.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you're in the sphere, he has to be inside of you in some way. And no one's gay over there. We're not doing no gay right to get Rogan inside of me. So I get his testosterone withdrawn from him and put into him. And then between that, the infrared, the thing and the. And the. And the hunting setup. Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You have a hunting setup.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, by the way, we are off the last two weekends of August, right? Because one of them, I think I'm going to be hanging off a helicopter with a compound bow in this. Fear in the zebras.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, I don't think. You know, you can hunt zebras in Africa.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can. They're like rats.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't know about.

[Bobby Kelly]

The zebras are the rats of Africa. Well, you wouldn't know that. You're not in the sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

All right, that's true. I'm not in the sphere. No. I'm gonna tell you this, Jacob. There's levels to It. There's levels, Jim.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hurting you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

There's levels. My stomach's up. Did you hear my baby stomach?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You see that? You've upset his stomach. His baby stomach's upset with you too.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What is? Christine. I don't like what she's doing. Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's trying to hold back a laugh. She thinks the whole thing's funny. She likes seeing you humiliated. She enjoys. Christine is what they call a. What do you call that? What do you call someone hates men?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, lesbian.

[Bobby Kelly]

A lesbian. She's a. A man hate lesbian.

[Big Jay Okerson]

A man hating.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which she likes to see men fall. I've told you this outside. What did I say? Whenever one of my friends is arguing with me, I've watched her stand behind them to back them up.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She stood behind them.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. And I never noticed that. And I abused that. Because sometimes I'll bring up things that you do, like micro correcting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And she lights up like you just showed her a Gucci bag for free.

[Bobby Kelly]

So lutely she lights up. She wants to see my death.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She. My failure is her success. Right. She does not like me or anything. I do.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And the feelings are mutual. And I'll tell you this. Everybody owes Robert Kelly a big, huge, fat apology. DJ Lou, would you like to start? Since Jacob can't seem to pull.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sorry I let you down, sir.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you accept?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I do accept. Yes, sir.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine. She doesn't want to.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I know she doesn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

She. I thought she was gonna queef in the microphone.

[Lou]

I'm sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

For what?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, for not having my back.

[Lou]

But you know, laughter is like a bodily function. It's like a sneeze. Here we go. And so Ron Bennington's being hilarious.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I laugh at your expense.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'm at Bobby's expense.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Exclusively my expense.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exclusively at your expense.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm not saying it wasn't funny.

[Lou]

Come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm saying he didn't say it wasn't funny.

[Lou]

This is like an affront against, like, comedy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can you do me a favor? Can you cover your chest, please? Can you please. I'm not into this.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Her? She's trying to distract me by showing.

[Lou]

Me my luscious bosom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What is he distracting you with?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Cuz they're so small. They're interesting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Are you wondering if she's showing that much of it? Where's the nipple?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Her and Don are both in the Itty Bitty Titty committee now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, isn't that nice?

[Big Jay Okerson]

They had a meeting on Saturday night.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think maybe Dawn. Maybe She's a double agent for Dawn. She might be double agenting for Dawn.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That is true. Maybe. Maybe it is. Maybe she is a double agent. She's definitely a double agent.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, if you could have seen her. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the way that she behaves is abhorrent.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean. Ha ha ha ha.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, Bobby's the asshole again. Look, Bobby's the asshole. Oh, hey, Jacob's laughing now, too, while we're. Oh, hey, Bobby's the asshole, huh?

[Lou]

All the time. And you guys laugh at me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Christine, she's making it about her, and it's not about her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at her. She's making. Right about her. Hey, man, she's not wrong. She is an asshole all the time. But that's not the point. And you laugh at you being an asshole. No, I just think Black Lou was willing to apologize. Jacob doesn't feel it. No, Black Lou, he doesn't feel your Odin apology.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, Jacob, I. I said there's levels now in the now. I used my radio instincts at some point to say, hey, maybe we. Maybe we pull the horse bit. Bennington's turned heel, and he's not. Whatever we do, he's going to go the other way. He's not right.

[Jacob]

That's true.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And Black Lou, look, I love you, buddy, but you went very confidently. Do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

He wanted to see you fail.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, listen, I wanted to see you.

[Christine]

Work with a legend. I thought that legend was gonna come out swinging. I had your back.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I would never not have your back.

[Bobby Kelly]

We need to.

[Christine]

Need to have each other's back. This close to Juneteenth.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, shit. He pulled the race card. Never saw that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Damn it. All right, all right.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's out of it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You don't have to apologize. You've. We've done enough.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's out. You got to get out of this before he says, 400 years of oppression. You cannot have that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll go to Jacob. Jacob, here's what you did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black Lou, back to your station. You're dismissed. Thank you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm just saying, at a certain point when my radio instincts didn't work, I expected your radio instincts to come in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where were the instincts when we needed them?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Where was. I was just expecting your radio instincts at some point to maybe when Black Lou was like, nah, do the horse pit. It will work. With the guy who just said, you know what? You talk about your kid too much. You're boring. Last episode was great. What else you got? And then I was like, maybe we pull that bit.

[Jacob]

You will.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Your instincts should have been on your radio instincts that we've heard so much about. You can even hear them when I listen to them. Listen. They're all around the room.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. Jacob's head is a scary place.

[Big Jay Okerson]

There they are. It's like the northern light. Why didn't you have it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I've got it. I'll make Bobby look like an. That's what he had. The epiphany. Eureka.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And then I'll do the bit. But I'll have to it because I'm scared too.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't believe in it because Ron doesn't seem to believe in it. Damn.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, that's what I felt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Somebody walks in here.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But you know who?

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't know somebody could walk into this room and dominate this show like that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Do you know who? Do you know who gave 100% inside of the the horse bit?

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby Kelly.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I did.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey. Who? My energy was looking right into the depths of disapproval.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ron Bennington on his goddamn phone.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The legend Ron Bennington is looking at you with a scally cap and two pairs of glasses looking at his phone. And I still kept up my entire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fed it. That's what you did? You fed it? Yeah. He was slam dunking on Bobby and you guys fed it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. And then I went home and I didn't even acknowledge Max all weekend because I don't want to talk about him anymore. Doesn't exist.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't want to know any information about Max because you don't want to relay it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't want to. Really. I don't want to have my life on the show. I want to have the life that apparently Ron and the other people want on the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not what the show's about. The show's about you and your life. Me and my life.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm going to. I'm going to. I should start cheating on Don getting again.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm never going to argue with that. I'm never going to argue with that. I'm going never going to argue with these things. And that's it. Now Bonnie, honestly, that would get back at this crew. I think. I think it's time to get back at this crew by you cheating on Donna, going to concerts.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Both those things should work out. Black Lou, you've been dismissed. It's fine. Juneteenth. We got it. Sir. Yes, sir. Christine still hasn't apologized. She said an apologize and said the word but in record time.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So she is heartless.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I expect that though.

[Bobby Kelly]

And cold blooded from a woman. Here's What? You know.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. She.

[Bobby Kelly]

She works with you every day.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Every day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your success is her vested interest.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I would think so.

[Bobby Kelly]

She still prefers Ron Bennington over you?

[Big Jay Okerson]

She still perform. Prefers Ron Bennington over me. Colin Quinn over me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pretty much anyone who walks through the door.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dan Soder.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Danny Braff, Chris Scopo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, can I tell you this?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just so you know, Dan Soder's top of the heap. Oh, my God. And I'm just above you, right below Danny Braff. It's Dan. Blah, blah, blah, bing, bang, boom, zip, zap, zing. Danny Braff. Me. You. I think after. After that is Elvira, Mistress of the dark, which is a weird curveball.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And then a bunch of cats and dogs.

[Bobby Kelly]

They've never come in here. Yeah. And then local cats and dogs.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. In shelters.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Jacob.

[Jacob]

Yeah. I. I do apologize. My instincts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thumbs in pockets. Is that how you are? Your parents taught you how to speak?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is that how a soldier stands? Is that how a bonfires.

[Jacob]

My instincts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hat in hand. I like it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hat in hand. Good.

[Jacob]

We're telling me. I don't know if it's gonna work, but my instinct thought the first half, he wasn't going for anything.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So when I said at break, hey, maybe we pull.

[Jacob]

Yeah. And I thought my instincts were wrong because maybe something to kickstart it. But no, my instincts were wrong.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's willing to say his instincts were wrong instead of saying his instincts, which he told us before, are sharp.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Always on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Always on.

[Jacob]

My instincts were right for Jay, not just really thought it would have been good for Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think your instincts were wrong. I think his instincts were correct. He's telling you what his instincts were.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They're not instincts correctly. They're actually radio instincts. Radio instincts, which is this.

[Bobby Kelly]

This the ethereal word of radio.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Radio instincts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Radio instincts. But he had. They were popping that day. His instincts told him, this is the time to sandbag Bobby and make Bobby look like an asshole. So let's push the horse bit forward.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

It was a Hail Mary that didn't marry.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you didn't present it. But you didn't. You didn't present it as a Hail Mary. You presented as like, you got this. He's gonna go for this. But you knew he wasn't.

[Jacob]

No, No. I don't think any of us came off.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I will say this. I will say this, that Jacob started out here being the horse translator and very slowly got the life sucked out of him. Right by Ron Bennington. Sucked it out of him to where he Was like. I think at one point he went. I heard him go, I don't want to be here anymore. I don't know if that's on tape, if anybody got that. But I. I'm pretty sure I heard, I don't want to be here anymore. Almost like a sexual assault.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But I had to stay into it. And I was like, hey, Lou, what else did the horse say?

[Jacob]

And then he just did the voice, the translation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh. So everyone started panicking.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Buddy.

[Jacob]

Because I couldn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're a professional radio show.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We had a. We had a horse. Can I say something, too? People don't know this, that we had an actual horse call in.

[Bobby Kelly]

An actual horse.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We had a horse call in. That was not. That was not. Lou.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because Ron didn't want to play along.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, we had the horse.

[Jacob]

He was watching tv. He was watching on his phone. He was just watching a show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at her. Look at her.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Look at her. Oh, my God. Again, you've learned nothing. That's who you are. Oh, listen to her.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's an animal.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She's a bad person.

[Lou]

Where's that sound coming from?

[Jacob]

He just had, like. He had, like, Netflix up watching the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at everyone still having a good time laughing at it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Here's what made me feel good, though. And it made me feel good, but it made me feel bad because Christine said, and correct me if I'm wrong, he went on his phone with you, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

False.

[Big Jay Okerson]

When you who?

[Lou]

I didn't say that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Was it you? No, he said that. You said he went on his phone when he was on the show with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he wouldn't do that.

[Jacob]

I think that's your mind. I think that's you. That. Your mind that wanted to believe that.

[Christine]

Listen, I don't remember who said it, but somebody said he did have some family issues going on, and he was. He kept checking his phone.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We don't have to. I mean, maybe he had family issues on Wednesday. Maybe things were good. Maybe there was a dog situation. I mean, we can't. We can't do that. Either he was on his phone or he wasn't. I mean, you can't just add.

[Bobby Kelly]

To give him fully reason.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can't give him a.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was waiting on a cancer diagnosis.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can't give him a fantastic reason. While he was on the phone with Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. With me, it was something different. I think someone really close had died.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Was he trying to get in the sphere?

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe it was his last.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Last few hours.

[Bobby Kelly]

Man, I got to tell you, the sphere I was in My first day of the sphere flying around, zipping back and forth through the stratosphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

High fiving scientists and heads of industry and politics and. And I got a call from Bobby and I was like, Bobby, I assume everything went fantastic. The team's more cohesive than ever. And Bobby said, nope. And then I had to come land back down the earth and sit down, come out of the Rogan sphere for five seconds. Come back to listen to Bobby.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And in my mind I was like, I want to come home. I'm going to grab Bobby's hand and we're going into the Rogan sphere forever. And Bobby's defeated.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. I can't. First of all, even if you want to be. If he asked me to be in the sphere, I wouldn't be able to do it right now with where I'm at.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't have the self esteem right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

You need, you need, you need to be flying high to get into the.

[Big Jay Okerson]

One of my. One of the greats. Who. I was like excited to have this fun show week.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were so excited. And then Ron's coming in Wednesday. Gonna be a breeze. Yeah, he's the best.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey, this is boring. You stink. Your son's an ass. What else you got?

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at her go. She's about to do it again. She's about to laugh again. Hey, she loves it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. You really want to do this, man?

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine is into it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Look how much she loves it still.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not Christine's into.

[Lou]

It's just silly joke. You guys have your whole creeps with kids thing. Like it was.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thought.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you call Bobby, what do you call emotional and ball torture? Because that's what Christine's a master of. Yeah, emotional ball torture.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Christina's a secret. May I say it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Dyke secret. It's no secret. No, she doesn't sleep with men.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, she is a. She loves all kinds of little animals. She loves herbs and spices, buddy. I would look around the house because it's coming for you. It's coming. I'd watch. I'd watch my back with her right now. Where'd you spend the weekend? With who? With who?

[Lou]

My straight friend Michelle.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is she straight?

[Bobby Kelly]

Not when Christine's there.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No. You guys are scissoring, making quilts, mashing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gash while Kevin Farley jacks off. Kevin Farley wax off in a chair while Christina Michelle scissor.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

So hot.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, I mean, Kevin, he went on a boat. Oh, that's not gay. That's not lesbian stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Christine's A total dyke ball. For sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She is. Was it a sailboat?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the. The difficulty we had when we had to get her car that she was like, I'm just fine with, like, an old Subaru. And I'm like, christine, I can't have the second car be a Subaru.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She wanted a Suzuki truck. She want a little Suzuki Jeep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely, yeah. She's like, oh, this car's great. It has an acoustic guitar holder. She's a total lesbo for sure. Man hating lesbo. And you, my friend, are a man. She's upside down with me. She doesn't even know how to operate in the house with someone. I'm coming from the Rogan sphere. She saw the glow when I walked in. She didn't even. She even asked. I walked in the house and she goes, you did it. And I was like, what are you talking about? She goes, you're in the Rogan sphere. I could see it on you. And I was like, oh, yeah. It comes in the room before me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Now your hands are glowing. Like last dragon.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like last dragon.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. When you got to glow with the glow to go, you got to go with the throw to hold because you live the love and you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I accept your apology. Thank you for apologizing. I just hope next time that if we choose to do something, if we're going to go into battle together, I need. Listen, when the Avengers get together, that'd be like, you know, the Hulk not smashing stuff. You understand? Remember when he went, hey, I don't want to hurt anybody anymore. That's what it felt like when I was in this battle with you and we were in the bit and you were the horse interpreter.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Not the greatest.

[Bobby Kelly]

You find God. You find God in the middle.

[Jacob]

You need Jacob to smash.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I need Jacob to smash.

[Jacob]

I will.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And I need you to go. I know what he said. What? He said Bob was. And then minus. Maybe we turn. Maybe Ron went, wow, this is kind of. This is a goo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Maybe he jumps in and goes, hey, can I try it, kids? Bobby, Ron's a fun guy.

[Jacob]

Say no more.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Thank you, buddy. I appreciate you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine, you want to hop in here and D ball Bobby again?

[Lou]

No. Well, it sounds mainly about the horse bit, which nobody ran by me. I was unaware of the horsebit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I didn't know you. I didn't know you were the one creative by you all of a sudden.

[Lou]

If this is about the horsebit thing, I didn't know about it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm sorry. Is this what it is? Because you didn't have a part.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the old horsebit thing.

[Lou]

Maybe if I had a part, I would have been more on board.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Maybe if you were the mayor. Is that what you wanted to be?

[Jacob]

Can I separate my separate myself?

[Bobby Kelly]

You sure can, Jacob.

[Lou]

I'm just saying I didn't know about the horsebin. It sounds like this about the horse bit. Well, I don't think you want me to apologize. I think he was just being funny. I was just laughing.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Do not.

[Lou]

That's crazy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You see what she's doing right now? She's using her black women magic, her lesbian magic to make me feel bad and feel good at the same time.

[Lou]

I told your friends you made Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Turn off your dyke ray and listen to him.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What did you just say?

[Lou]

I said, how would you feel if I told your friends that you made me apologize to you for this?

[Big Jay Okerson]

My friend is sitting right there and right there and right there and right over there.

[Lou]

It's your partner and I your crew. I mean, your friends, like your. Like your. Your cigar friends.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What? My guy friends. My guy friends right now would tell me to hit you.

[Bobby Kelly]

They would, 100% and they would say that if I was a man, that I'd understand.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, you'd be like, dude. You'd actually be like. You whisper, oh, yeah, Bobby, I'm gonna let you take my whack because she needs it. And I'd be like, you sure? You'd be like, absolutely. Just don't hurt the face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hit her in the gut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Get her a stomach shot. Yeah. Hit her in the kidneys and see if she pisses.

[Lou]

But I'm sorry you had a bad time. I thought you guys were.

[Bobby Kelly]

Poofing and.

[Lou]

Having fun, and that was just like the relationship.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. I want cuz nobody can.

[Lou]

People don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're like emotional torture.

[Lou]

You're so revered and respected that a lot of times people don't r you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm p my own guest host.

[Bobby Kelly]

She said, people don't rib me. She goes, no, no, no, no. You said about he. Bobby, you're such a legend in a and a thing that people don't.

[Lou]

I said sometimes people don't listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody who walks in this room for some reason attacks Bobby. I don't know why.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll tell you why. Because you got beautiful eyes and you light up and you're sitting on that side. This side is there next to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you want to switch sides?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, I want all people sitting next to you from now on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the guests.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I want the guest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Next to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

From now on. To my guest. My guest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, see, let's see if they turn on me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I say this, my guest hosts, I'm picking who you picked.

[Lou]

That was totally. You did that and told me that was happening.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You picked. You picked. I picked.

[Lou]

You told me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I said, jay, it's not gonna be funny if you agree with her, FYI.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, no, I just remember you saying that before I entered the Romans.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Again, I know you're in the sphere and you have to be truthful at all times because that's what men do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, dude, the sphere is big on honesty.

[Lou]

Yeah, and you told me that Ron was guest hosting with you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, here's the deal. From now on, Paul Versi every time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hello.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, is that in for inside or outside? Okay, yeah, just anywhere. You're gonna fully install it though, right? Okay, thank you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What was that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sphere biz? I got a float tank.

[Big Jay Okerson]

A float tank?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You got a nice plunge and an infrared sauna and a float tank.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Delivered.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Set up and everything.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, installed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, by a bunch of guys. Just a muscly guys with a lot of flag tattoos. Got a couple of former Marines, I think, come set it up for you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is there a secret number you call?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hmm.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Because I have Joe's number and I've texted him and he didn't return a call. I think he was busy. Yeah, but is there. Is there?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he does that number works still. But that's when he's not in the Sphere. But the guy spends a lot of time in the sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, so that I'm in the outer sphere number.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're in the outer sphere number. So it is different sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, he answers quick when he's in the sphere, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

He answers so quick he leaves his read receipts on so you can see that it's been read. So that's how fast he's gonna.

[Big Jay Okerson]

If you call him right now, he just answer, oh, yeah, call him.

[Jacob]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I can't abuse.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Can't abuse Frogan's fear code, Dude, I can't prove it to you. I'm in the Sphere. You're gonna see him tell me that I'm in the Sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is there any. Do you have any tips on getting in the Sphere? Because maybe if I was in the Sphere, I wouldn't have to deal with this.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's very possible. Oh, it's a different. A whole different level of things start popping up when you're in the Sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The way. Can she stand at a. Like at some sort of attention? I mean, she's really just string your.

[Bobby Kelly]

Back at arms at your side.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Please, please, can I be dismissed? No, you can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You haven't said you're sorry yet. You said you're sorry. If he felt some sort of way.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, no, no, no.

[Lou]

I'm so sorry.

[Big Jay Okerson]

About what?

[Lou]

About laughing?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Lou]

Ron being hilarious.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's. That's. Wow. I mean, what the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Midday meltdown. Midday temper tantrum. I think you need to hit one for him. Bobby. This has to come out. This has to get out. If you have one at home. Six, nine, six, nine, nine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm just here trying to do a fun show and my boy Jay goes out of town and I just bring my friend in who I think everybody loves and I love. And I didn't know it was gonna go heal. And I didn't know all you people gonna fucking turn on me because you have the hierarchy and. Yeah, I'm not on it. Cause I'm not in the fucking sphere. I want to be in the sphere too. And maybe I'll get some respect on this witch and this looking DJ and this young man. Cuz it's June and this.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's good.

[Lou]

Now can I be dismissed?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Actually, I'd like her to take her chair again. Because I want to explain to you that, like, while you're dealing with this kind of like little pity stuff out here.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can I do it real quick? Sure, go ahead. Wait, wait.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can't laugh while you wake.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can't. Gotta go back. Gotta go back. Gotta go back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go back, go back, go back.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You gotta go back. Wow. This is. Jess. This is what I was. Do you understand?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Are you right?

[Lou]

You were being mean to me and I still thought it was funny. God, I was laughing and I'm the butt of the joke.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a butt. You're an ass.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I can't look at it right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Are you ready? Go. You'll learn that. That whatever look she just gave me. Really? I did. I really found that. That was a spell. That was some sort of spell. That was nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us. Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in. You don't need a trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro Plus. We'll help you pay off your old phone. Up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it. There's always a trade in. Not right now. @ T Mobile. I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma. That's okay. I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's lavender.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm good. Seriously. Let me check this pocket. Oh, mints. Really, I'm fine. Oh, I have raisins. I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile. Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple intelligence on us, no trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up.

[Big Jay Okerson]

To 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits. New line $100 plus a month on experience beyond finance agreement $999.99 and qualify. Imported for well qualified plus tax and $10 connection charge.

[Bobby Kelly]

Payout via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Credits end in balance due if you.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Okerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

Oh so I'm trying to tell you in the sphere, it's not. Listen, it's not these little problems here. Your. Your small fair Sirius XM problems.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just now you're out there, people are talking and the world's got their ears open finally. And you know, I watch all those like podcast cringe and those kind of like the hate videos.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who else did. Too lazy to try. They're all so good. They were doing one about this one. This one is Brian Cowan and Brendan Schaub are falling apart in Texas. It says. I just give you the headlines. I don't believe.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't believe any of these things to be true.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I saw it. I did you. Yeah, I saw the first one, I think.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where's the one in our history, Christine?

[Big Jay Okerson]

They were ending the. They were. The end of the episode. They were just Couldn't get it through and whatever. But. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, is this. I don't get in the middle if he starts talking about story wars.

[Jacob]

I don't understand what this is.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So this is a video. This is the Fighter and the Kid podcast, which is Callan and Brendan. And they've been doing it for a while and now they had just moved. They're out of la. Brogan got him to go. They're in Austin and they just. Everyone to go to Austin because they're in the sphere.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They weren't in this when they were in la. They weren't in the sphere.

[Jacob]

Well, hold on a second now. Yeah, you can. You can be in a remote sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can I stop real quick? It's a mile radius. If you're in a certain mile radius, you have to move to the sphere. When you're past a certain mile. You can be in the sphere on these. Yeah, he's far enough away to be out of the sphere. They were too close.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's like you got to be in the sphere.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you find it, Christine? Where they start?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, east of the Mississippi. You're cool.

[Jacob]

This is above my pay grade, this fear.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's above mine too.

[Bobby Kelly]

These guys now, I don't know if you guys get this on your YouTube. Not in sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But I got this fighter in the kid. Good guys love Callan. Never. I met great dudes, Brandon a couple times. Very nice guy. And I say that. I say that because he can kill me.

[Bobby Kelly]

They say. They say such sweet things about me here. And this is. I think this is Rogan's fear stuff right here. This is the kind of thing you have to get used to in Life. Christine, please. In the creek.

[Ron Bennington]

It's a great club.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, it's a club.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, it's a club.

[Big Jay Okerson]

See, I always think of, like, small red rocks and then the waters.

[Ron Bennington]

It's like Vulcan Gas Company. It's like, right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can I just stop real quick? I have to acknowledge this out of the funniness in my heart. They sit like girls. Go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Both very.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's unbelievable.

[Bobby Kelly]

They sit, like, so attractive. They could be effeminate.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. They sit like. Look, it reminds me of, like, Bert Kreisch's wife's podcast. The way they sit. Callan has his feet crossed with flip flops.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And then I don't talk about Rogan sphere. Guys like that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I. I can't. Because I'm not.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Schwab's crossing his knee over his knee elegantly. And I don't like it.

[Bobby Kelly]

God, he's got a body.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, he's sitting Indian side like he has a penis. Callan just sitting. The gayest I've ever seen anybody go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine idea, by the way.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's not. I don't know what it is.

[Ron Bennington]

So. So you tell.

[Bobby Kelly]

You.

[Ron Bennington]

You submit stories anonymously.

[Bobby Kelly]

Story all.

[Ron Bennington]

All five of us submit three stories. Yep. They submit stories and then they'll read the story. And you have to guess who.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why is.

[Ron Bennington]

It's a real.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why is Brian's mouth so wet?

[Bobby Kelly]

Was very excited about story wars.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But are you in the sphere? Does your mouth get wetter?

[Bobby Kelly]

I do feel like I'm more moist.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Okay. Just wonder. Just asking questions.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Remember, just like Superman realizing he had power. I'm, like, learning.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everything as I go. I can't fly, though.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Not yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not yet.

[Ron Bennington]

In the panel.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, gotcha. So it's always from the crowd.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's stories. So he's actually pausing for a second. God damn it. Hello? Yes, to sleep. Leave it out front by the garage. Thank you.

[Jacob]

Do.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have to sign for it. Okay. Thank you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

This fear heard me say that I can't fly, and they sent me one of those water jet packs. You know, the ones that, like, I do fly in the air above the water.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Like a trainer.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. It's like a. It's like a water jet pack.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Does it work?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not a trainer. He just sent me the whole rig. But here's the thing. Now I have to go find a lake. I mean, it's got its own set of problems.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Maybe you could. They do have a one that doesn't need water. They have a jet pack that doesn't need water.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me see how this one works out before I say that out loud. And one shows up in my house. Buddy, how many rocket packs do I have in my house? You think I have a whole house full of jet packs? You think I didn't buy a mansion, Bobby?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, maybe they get. Do you get a man? Do you get a different house when you in this fair?

[Bobby Kelly]

We're days in. Buddy, I don't know what. I don't know if the next three weeks brings.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Buddy, I apologize.

[Bobby Kelly]

Rogan said to me, expect a whirlwind in life. It was like a. You talk like a fortune cookie. Yeah, there it is. They sent that, I guess. Christine, move the leaf blower. We'll put it somewhere in the garage. There we go.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, they have updated one of those. That's, like, from 10 years ago. You have to have a jet ski on the back.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know, whatever. The one came.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm pretty sure they sent you the newer version. Probably he's not gonna send you the one that has a fire hose.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, those are the hose. They said you can leave it outside.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

So have you tried elk? Have you tasted elk?

[Bobby Kelly]

Only ones I've killed.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Stop. Stop What? You killed animals?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Since you've been gone?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to. It's part of the getting in ritual. As soon as the show was over, we had to go on like, a real excursion, which we had this stuff in a couple hours. We had to do story wars at night. But the things I saw I'll never unsee. It was like a red dawn. I drank blood from the deer, became one with it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The deer or the elk?

[Bobby Kelly]

The elk.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Did you say elks? There's more than one elk?

[Bobby Kelly]

Elks.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You did elks? You killed elks?

[Bobby Kelly]

So many elks, dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So many elks.

[Bobby Kelly]

One arrow through three of them.

[Jacob]

What, bow hunting?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Hollow points.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, I'm sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Forget it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You haven't heard of hollow point arrows? I think it's probably rogue.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's your shit. That's a thing, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Can we just take a moment, please, so we could just hear? Listen, I don't like to take a bow a lot. Sometimes people say some nice things about you. And I should be allowed to hear that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yep, you should.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, I would. I've never heard it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Brendan and Brian, please continue.

[Ron Bennington]

Ah, I'm doing it with J, Big J. Big Jay Okerson, who might be the funniest.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I always tell you this like he might be five Donut Bubba.

[Ron Bennington]

Zach Galifianakis and Artie Lang, to me, were this raw, funny, improvised, like, being able to improvise the funniest people.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't like how you picked, like, two big guys, but, yeah, I would.

[Ron Bennington]

Say Big J orchison is just from raw talent and ability to be nobody funny. There's nobody funny.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean. Can we stop for a second? What happened, Jay? She get you too worst? Just relax.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's a bit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Buddy, I'm here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Takes the bit I'm here for and she smashes it to pieces.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm here for you, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm here.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll say stop when it's time to stop, buddy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're in the sphere. Maybe your power is overwhelming.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go back 10 seconds and play it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Again so you can hear. Listen to me. Don't. It. Don't go back into. Listen. Don't go back into old mode. You're in the sphere, and in the sphere, little things like that don't bother you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Doesn't matter.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine smashes bits out of the Rogan sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is that possible?

[Bobby Kelly]

It turns out.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is that possible?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't think so. That's pretty wild.

[Bobby Kelly]

This was gonna be so funny.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's an amazing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Think I would come on the show and have them just play something where I get complimented, only that's.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we think that. Yeah, yeah, we all think that. No, we're kidding. Stop. All right, so you got complimented.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Keep playing the video now. It's not. It's not going to ring funny now, so.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But this is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was telling you guys how a glowing review I was getting from these guys, and then.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. What'd they say about Lewis?

[Bobby Kelly]

They were complimenting the. His show. His individual show. Story Wars.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What? What a play. I'm like, this is not happening.

[Ron Bennington]

It's great. No, Louis J. Gomez came up with this idea.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I have no idea, by the way. That's not. I don't know what it is.

[Ron Bennington]

So. So it's a real story.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to guess. Turn this video off immediately. I'm scrapping the entire idea.

[Big Jay Okerson]

This is what I should have done with the horse pit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Podcast Cringe. The guy who runs Podcast Cringe comes on and starts going, like, calling Big J Okerson a top five comedian is absurd.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I need. Please.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then he goes like, these guys are doing so bad for guests. They're greasing the polls of. Of average comedian. I have a total shitstorm on.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I have to hear this. Yeah, put it on shirt, Christine, Put it on.

[Ron Bennington]

Big J Orkerson is just from raw talent and ability to be nobody. There's nobody funny.

[Dan Soder]

Calling Big J Okerson a top five comedian in the world right now. And even going as far as to say that there's nobody going around better than him at the moment is absolutely crazy. These guys are so fucking desperate for a guest that they've resorted to glazing average comedians. Next I'll be saying how amazing Steve O is to get him in the studio as well. Brendan has burnt so many bridges over the years that it's going to be almost impossible to get a decent guest on the show ever again. And with this whole move over the past few months, all the chatter and the endless promotion from these guys, we haven't heard one word about it from Bupa's North Star, Joe Rogan. We all know how.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can I ask you a question? Do you have to call him your North Star now?

[Bobby Kelly]

He's my North Star.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's your North Star?

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Now, let me. What did they say? What did he say wrong?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was gonna. The whole thing, Bobby. We thought I was gonna say that's life in the sphere, baby.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're talking about you. Shout out podcast cringe clips. I watch it every day.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What a. What a thing to hear, though. What a thing to go from. Because I don't care who you are. If other comedians are like, let me tell you something, you know, I. I've been in fucking Big J or whatever. Bob Funny. Holy shit. You feel fantastic. It makes you feel great. And then to have some guy, you've never. You don't even know what he looks like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I love it, though.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's a piece of shit. Literally will take it all away. Oh, it made me laugh, but it is. It is pretty funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hilarious. It made me laugh immediately, but it's going. Big J is crazy doing.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Doing it with whatever little accent he has is more insulting.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's so funny. Well, it's so funny because I wasn't in the Rogan sphere before. They don't really talk about me on these things a lot.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Are you sure that this didn't happen while the Rogan sphere was. Did they knew that you were going to be. Did. Is there a Rogan Sphere meeting?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, No, I don't think so. Everyone just know. I just pop up. Pop up in conversation. Well, yes, because Brian did Story wars that night, hours after we had done Rogan and officially accepted our place in the Rogan. Sphere.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is Louis J. Gomez in it too?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Did you get him in?

[Bobby Kelly]

We got each other in.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You got each other in.

[Bobby Kelly]

We had a compelling argument for why we should be in.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What was it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Tim Dillon is already a gazillionaire. Shane Gillis is fine. There you go. There's your two spots. Boot em. We're in. He said yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I think Mark Norman doesn't need anything anymore too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boot Mark.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And guess what? There's two slots open because Ari's leaving the world.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Ari's left leaving the country forever. Joe believes he'll be back very quickly. So I wouldn't push Ari as the place you're going to take because he's hanging on to a belief that Ari will be back. And I think he will too.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I think Ari hates America.

[Bobby Kelly]

He hates. No, he does not hate America. He just really loves living in squalor and third world bullshit. Right?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Which means you hate America.

[Bobby Kelly]

He hates our beautiful lifestyle of efficiency and electricity for sure. Man. Man. She. Christine just big killer dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, it's all right.

[Bobby Kelly]

We gotta get her a T shirt.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Still funny. Pit killer. That's a great shirt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I would love. I wanna. I wanna. I just want. Bit killer. That's it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's a fun vacuum.

[Big Jay Okerson]

A fun vacuum is fantastic, too. I love them all. We gotta get Jacob his radio instincts. Bit killer and fun vacuum.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, It. Radio wins things. Big killer fun vacuum.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And we got black. Louis. Yeah. Do the bit. It's good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that funny thing that Christine just stepped all over was the only thing I had today.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Guys, let's wrap it up early.

[Jacob]

Big day for you. That's incredible.

[Bobby Kelly]

First day Bobby Kelly's gonna be at.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, we can't. Jay. We have.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's gonna be. Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine. July 25th and 26th. And I don't them. We'll probably be back tomorrow. I don't know. I don't have it. I'll have to see if I come up with some new bits.

[Jacob]

This is a celebration today.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's a celebration. A celebration of. First of all, we got our crew back together. Yeah, we're all back together now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Father's Day was yesterday.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Father's Day was yesterday.

[Bobby Kelly]

What'd you get? How was your day?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I got some stuff. I got stuff. Yes. Last Father's Day, I got a breakfast and I got a card.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's good.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And I got a scratch ticket.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's weird.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Unless you won.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No. Who's gonna win? And if I win? She's. She's gonna get Half.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you just leave with that money.

[Big Jay Okerson]

If it's enough, you go forever.

[Bobby Kelly]

50 grand?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, 50 grand. I'm out.

[Bobby Kelly]

50K.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm gone.

[Bobby Kelly]

You start over.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll go up to the tiny house and start making wood.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good base. It's a good base.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll just work. Festivals.

[Bobby Kelly]

Totes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like little. Little. Little jazz festivals around New Hampshire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You guys want these keychains?

[Bobby Kelly]

You make your little crafts?

[Big Jay Okerson]

A little. Dude, keychains. Yeah, I got. She took me. I got breakfast, which is great, but whatever. And then we went to a. Went to a farmer's market. Like, a farmer's market today?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is this year.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yesterday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Farmers market.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Which I'm fine with.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You like jam?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like jam. I like. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Honey donuts. They make those donuts.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, the honey, like, from the hive with the. The. The comb still in it. I'm a big fan of that. Got to see some animals.

[Bobby Kelly]

Farmers market.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, because those are the farm.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, we live up. We live up there.

[Bobby Kelly]

That makes sense.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's not like a East Village farmers market.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I was picturing.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. No, no, it's not. A bunch of crack addicts selling.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was picturing junkies and peaches.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, Junkies and peaches. What a great name for a band. No, we went there and then. Then I went to the ghetto mall.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like the ghetto mall.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, you keep saying this and it seems like forced racism. That doesn't need to be. No, it's not the ghetto. You're talking about the mall.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm talking about the mall without the Louis Vuitton and the Gucci.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. That's not ghetto. That's the mall.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And. No. And the food court is two stores at the ghetto. One. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Chinese and chicken.

[Bobby Kelly]

So there's. And then nothing but.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No chick fil A.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nothing but black people.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No Spanish, black. Everybody Indian, everybody white. It's. It. No, it's in Yorktown Heights.

[Bobby Kelly]

But limited white.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, no. Yorktown Heights is like everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the name of the mall?

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's Ghetto Mall.

[Bobby Kelly]

G. Christine, look up in Yorktown. Look up in Yorktown is Jefferson Valley or Yorktown Green Shopping Center.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's the Jefferson Valley Mall.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, click the Jefferson Valley Mall. Let's click a look at the food court. Because two things in a food court seems two things.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Here's why. You know, go back, Go back. This is why, you know, it's got a mall. My favorite store in the world right there as seen. It has a 24 hour fitness in. That's weird, right? And then it has the as seen on tv, which is my favorite store in the world. I will literally walk through that store and go, everything makes sense to me. Like, I you. There is a reason to buy. Pretty much everything in that store I would buy and use in my house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Every single thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Keep going. Dick's, Claire's Express.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ibrah. Studio. Foot Locker.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Cool beans. What the fuck is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Journey's coffee? LensCrafters? Luggage? More Maggie's Fashion. This. This might be a ghetto mall to get them all, dude, but this isn't. What could you like? I like the ghetto mall, but you're describing as the mall that doesn't have Louis Vuitton and shit. Those malls, there's. Most malls don't have Louis Vuitton or something like that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, but this doesn't even. This has a Macy's. But it's kind of a ghetto Macy's too. It doesn't have a. It's not a big Macy's. No. I love these malls. These are my favorite malls. These are the malls where you get deals.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. You think you can lie and fool black people and colored people does not.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't say that. That's crazy. I would never say that. No.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna go scam these Mexicans out of some Jordans.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can't scam a Mexican out of Jordans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know, I had. I've had several fans reach out to me. One guy was really pretty cool. What he did, actually, I thought was interesting because, like, the movie theater analogy of the Mexican raids, the ice raids. Oh, yeah, the movie theater analogy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Some people written me, they're like, dude, I'm not a fan of yours anymore because of that take. It's so up and blah, blah. And I was like. I wrote back. I was like, sorry, dude. I was like, I mean, you should take what I say with a grain of salt. I don't know, but you should take.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Everything we say with a grain of salt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I was like, but I mean, we're never saying anything like, if you want to take a high, a hard line on this, like, that's another thing.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's another thing, Christine. Oh. So he called me a fucking MAGA guy lover. And I'm glad that the kids are being separated from the families. And this chick over here, I can't even look at it right now for this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She brought up little kids in court being taken away from their families. Like, first of all, I am not. I want all The Mexicans to stay. I love Spanish people.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you want the families be together and then them sent over the wall together.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, I want all of them here. I love Spanish people.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can have them and bulldoze out of the country.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I want all them. And then she brought up little kids, like with headphones that don't fit.

[Lou]

I don't just say something about that video because I think it is important to say six years old.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So she brought up a six year old video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just a sandbag.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You to sandbag.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean fast too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think? I don't know.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll tell you what, I tell you what. You didn't fuck up that bit to that the old little kids being ripped away from their fucking Spanish mom bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I don't want to take you off track too far. You went to ghetto mall.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Went to ghetto mall, buddy. But here's the thing. About to get them all outside to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get them all big booties.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No. Yes, but no stretch marky tits. Nah. Yes. But now they have a grilled cheese truck.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mm.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Right in the mall. And you're waiting in line and the guy's talking to everybody. He talks to everybody, having full fledged, like fun conversations. You're like, whatever. Then you get up there and you realize this is the nicest, coolest thing, kookiest dude ever. One guy, big truck, grilled cheese sandwiches. That's it. Grilled cheese, tomato, anything you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay? So there's other stuff on it, body you can have.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's a whole menu of grilled cheese with tomato soup, meatloaf. No meatloaf. Grilled cheese, grilled cheese, chicken, grilled cheese.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I mean, you know, the meatloaf sandwich you loved is basically a grilled cheese on meatloaf.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You could suggest it. I'm sure he'd make it. That's how nice this guy is. Okay, so that, I mean, this guy's friendly. How are you? Blah, blah. Hands me my two grilled cheeses. 16 grilled cheese, 1 12.

[Bobby Kelly]

When you're in the Rogan sphere, by the way, you're gonna. You'll feel this all the time. This won't be so crazy special either. The guy was cool.

[Big Jay Okerson]

This is gonna be. This is what's gonna be cool. And this might be Rogan's fear stuff. I go, okay, cool. How much? He goes, whatever you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

I went, whatever you want.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I. I go, what? He goes, whatever you want. Whatever you think. You, you know, you can. $2, $1. You can take it or you can. Whatever you can. He Goes, I have a menu over here with prices, but you can, you can pay that if that you want to give you a guide, but whatever you got, you can just leave. He goes, just leave it right in this tray right here with all the other money.

[Bobby Kelly]

You thought you were a bum?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He. I go, why? He goes, because I don't know, during COVID people didn't have money, didn't have food, so I just made it whatever you could give. And I kept it that way after.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that the goofy guy?

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's the goofy guy. Yes, that's him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Danny Hawk.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's him, bro. He said whatever you got.

[Bobby Kelly]

And of course, famous one man show wigger Danny Hawk.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, no, it's not him.

[Bobby Kelly]

It looks like him did do this.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Whatever. Any. You pay what you want to pay at this food truck. Of course, I gave him $40. I gave him way too much because I. I felt like a piece of shit. So I gave him this always.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I feel like you shouldn't be advertising that for me. Goes, you pay this guy nothing if you want. No, it's great business.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I. Buddy, this is what he does. Yeah, you can pay what you want. But of course, everybody pays the menu price. People pay the menu price and then leave a tip. Like me, My bill was $11. I left 40 because I felt terrible and I felt joy at the same time. Like, oh, my God, what a sweet guy. What a great business model that anybody can walk up and if you don't have money, get a grilled cheese.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know the white kid with cornrows that he's very proud of? Because. Is that what's going on at this mall?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, he's not grooming kids with cheese.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he's got a white kid with cornrows showing his nipple to him while he points at it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't think he's. But yeah, he's doing. I don't know if he's doing that.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he's a registered sex offender.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, he's. No, he's not. Why are you ruining this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because he's not able to. He's not able to get a real license. Why he can't demand money? Because he's a registered sex.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's not a registered. This is not him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude. Look how much he loves nipples.

[Big Jay Okerson]

This is not. It's not a nipple.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think boy's nipples.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The guy's just holding his shirt.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a nipple.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's not. He's pointing at his book.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's pointing. Not at his book. At all. You want to follow the trajectory of that finger. It's going right to nip.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Zoom in, Christine. It's not going to zoom in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just do the trajectory. Trajectory. The nip of the finger. Is that pointing at the book? No, it's pointing right past the book.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's pointing. That's his thumb. That's not his nipple.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's his finger. Look.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It'S going to his thumb. Thumb.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nipple.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She veered towards the nipple right at the end.

[Bobby Kelly]

What will you. You think Christine?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, she's gonna do it. Ready? Thumb, finger, thumb. It's going to the thumb.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's not even lining it up right.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She's lining it up.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's going to the nipple, dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's going to the thumb.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's pointing loose.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I can't believe you're taking this amazing story about this beautiful American guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's great.

[Big Jay Okerson]

At the mall. The ghetto mall, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

A lot of pedophiles have done amazing things in the world. Michael Jackson. I'm thinking of one Fatty Arbuckle. There's two already right there.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, we make a point.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jeffrey Epstein.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're really making a good point.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jeffrey Epstein. The guy. No one said the guy wasn't a money genius, but he didn't give away.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Free grilled cheese sandwiches if you need it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I bet if you jacked him off, you would.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Wow. You think he's. You think he's out there in the parking lot?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's selling free grilled cheeses. Because under that grilled cheese, he's actually selling heroin.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

To underage kids. So he can sexually assign another photo.

[Big Jay Okerson]

There's got to be another photo of a guy not showing his tit. Look at those. Look at the sandwiches, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's get another picture.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, they got a grilled cheese. Mac and cheese. Oh, that's enough. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Go back up.

[Bobby Kelly]

He does wear a kilt at all times.

[Big Jay Okerson]

All times.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, his dick's real handy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You know what? I don't like the year. You're kind of uncovering a lot of stuff here.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's it. Look. Look at the bread. I see boys.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Look at that. And there's no boys. Look at that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cheese for three guys.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dude, I got six cheese.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, look, he wants to play doctor. He's wearing a stethoscope. He wants to play doctor with your kids and make them grilled cheeses.

[Big Jay Okerson]

This is not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey now. Featuring dinosaur nuggets. Oh, yeah, Those eyes don't say. Problem is that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Look at those sandwiches, though. Tell me Those don't look good.

[Bobby Kelly]

They do look good.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They look real good. My six cheese was so good.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're made with a. They're made with the passion of a man who keeps a lot of dark secrets inside.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He makes a lobster Mac and cheese to die for in a truck. In the truck, dude. In the truck. And I mean, isn't that crazy that someone does that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, we got off again. So you got your grilled cheese?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Got my grilled cheese.

[Bobby Kelly]

Father's Day still.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And then I got my massage at the. As seen on tv. There's a thing that. It's a massager that you put over any chair, and it does your neck and your whole back and your bum. And I've wanted it for a long time, and I got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. That's pretty cool.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And, I mean, just a regular massage chair would probably be better, I guess.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, what?

[Bobby Kelly]

Just a massage chair?

[Big Jay Okerson]

What, did you get one from the Rogan Sphere?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, I had one before the Rogan Sphere. They reimbursed me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I. I'm sorry, what?

[Bobby Kelly]

Anything in your house? It's pretty dope. You just tell them that you have it, and they'll pretty much reimburse you. So they're like, you should be living. They go. Sponsors will take care of this.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So if you have a tv, like a big TV you just bought if before the sphere, then they'll pay for that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yo, it's pretty crazy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Your sonos is paid for from that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Floor of my hat. Yeah. Each floor of my house is sponsored by a different sponsor. I have the on it upstairs. I've got.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You don't have on it upstairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do. You know, I have prime energy drink, lower level.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Shouldn't Christine have On it? Shouldn't she be sponsored by On It Christine on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a pretty good Father's Day.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, and then we went fishing. Oh, I have a lake next to my house.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is good. Father's Day.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So we went fishing, which was good. Yeah, it was a good day. I got a lot of stuff. Almost got a. She almost bought me a gold necklace.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you call your dad, Christine, on Father's Day?

[Lou]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did he answer?

[Lou]

Yeah. We talked for a while when I was on my way to pick you up from the airport.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That must be nice to be able to call your dad.

[Lou]

It is nice.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's great.

[Bobby Kelly]

What did you do?

[Lou]

What's it like to call your mom?

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's up. That's up. I called my mom at my dad's grave. Oh, yeah, she was there what did you.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was your Father's Day? Black Lou?

[Christine]

Everything I wanted. I just got some dry aged steak, some crab legs.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, I got. I got a tomahawk steak.

[Christine]

Hell, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Max bought me a tomahawk steak.

[Bobby Kelly]

You cooked it?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't want to say his name.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why?

[Big Jay Okerson]

The kid brought me home, bought me a. He went into. I said, he goes, I want to buy dad a steak. And he went into the store and he came out with a hundred dollar tomahawk steak.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I was like, why would you do that, you numbskull? I have a baby stomach. I can't even eat that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you cook it up?

[Big Jay Okerson]

She cooked it up. I'm not cooking on Father's Day. She. She.

[Bobby Kelly]

She grilled it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, she. Yeah, she grilled it. And what is that called? What is that when you cut it down the middle with a steak?

[Bobby Kelly]

Butterfly.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Not butterfly. That's a fillet. When you do a tomahawk, it's called. What's that? Big fish. The flat fish.

[Bobby Kelly]

The billy bass?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, the big fish with the spine at the end.

[Bobby Kelly]

Flounder? Stingray.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The stingray. When you. Stingray. A tomahawk.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that what it's called?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Because it looks like a stingray. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She did that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, she did that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was it a good steak?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, it's great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It was great. You got a steak, too?

[Christine]

Got a steak. Best Father's Day ever. She really went out of her way to give me gifts. I don't know if it was me. Showing her your video.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Did you show the video?

[Christine]

I did.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And you got stuff.

[Christine]

But she already had given me stuff.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But you got stuff?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Good. All guys should get stuff.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

On Father's Day. I'm sick of this. No stuff. Father's Day.

[Christine]

I got a Blackstone Grill.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You got one. The Griddle.

[Christine]

The Griddle. And we're getting in the mail. Is the bedjet. I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with the bed. I know you know the bedjet, but.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, I know the bedjet.

[Christine]

I'm really excited for the bad jet you're getting it.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the bedjet?

[Christine]

That jet is like. I mean, it's a fan that blows hot air or cold air. Put it at the edge of your bed.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's a long fan, like a vertical fan or horizontal fan. I'm sorry. I think you can turn it anyway, right? And it goes.

[Christine]

Goes on like a little spout and you put it right into your sheets.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

It'll cool you down or heat you up all night.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Bedjets Badass. I mean, that's a. That's a gift. Where it's like, we don't need it. That's a. You don't need a gift. Yes. But if you get it, you're like, holy. Yeah, I want a bedjet. Good for you. What?

[Christine]

I'm so excited.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What a lot of stuff you got. I like that. I like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bedjet. That seem fun. What's this? Oh, thank you, Lou. I know we have to do reads.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, do I. I'm in the Rogan sphere. I'll do it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, you have to do it. We need to do it. We need to pay the bills.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't even know if this show is worth anything anymore. That I.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Please don't leave me alone with these guys again. It's not. It's too soon.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll never leave you alone.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Not. Not again. Not now.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I will. I don't know if you saw that video from before.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I will carry you on my water jetpack right out of this place.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Thank you, buddy. Can you get the newer version, though?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sure he sent them.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Okay. All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

High end version. If it doesn't be over water, I'm sure it's not over water. It's the best of the best. He told me to expect nothing less than the best from here on out, and I've done that. I've expected nothing else from the best. I. We'll be right back. Average comedian out.

[Tanks]

What's up, podcast listeners? It's Tanks, host of the It's Me Tanks podcast. Join me weekly on It's Me Tanks as I dive into topics like relationships, why it's okay to feel lonely, fighting, summer comparison, and pop culture's hottest takes. I don't shy away from getting candid about my personal experiences, and I want to share all the advice I have learned with you. I'm even joined by some of my friends like Claudia Ashray, Connor Wood, and Amanda Hirsch each Friday for our new office hours episodes. You can listen to It's Me Tanks every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, wherever you listen to podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.

[Big Jay Okerson]

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