Leg Tomatoes with Ron Bennington

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Leg Tomatoes with Ron Bennington" The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly – Episode Released: June 19, 2025

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Introduction: Guest Appearance and Role Swap (00:58 - 01:50)

The episode begins with Robert Kelly introducing Ron Bennington as a temporary host filling in for Big Jay Oakerson, who is struggling to generate jokes on his own podcast segment. Ron humorously critiques Bobby Kelly's (Robert's co-host) musical knowledge, setting a playful and candid tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "Big Jay is right now struggling on Rogan to get some jokes out. Okay." (00:50)

Musical Preferences and Banter (01:50 - 06:10)

The conversation shifts to music, with Bobby challenging Ron's lack of appreciation for music. They delve into various bands, including the Beach Boys, Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Van Halen. Ron admits a late appreciation for the Beach Boys and expresses his preference for Led Zeppelin over the Beatles, leading to a humorous debate about musical tastes and band dynamics.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "Name five Beach Boy songs." (02:27)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "I love the original Van Halen with David Lee Roth. But then later in life, as I matured, I learned to like Van Hagar." (05:40)

Personal Histories: Upbringing and Religion (06:10 - 08:51)

The hosts share personal anecdotes about their upbringing. Bobby reveals his Catholic background, including a dramatic birth story involving being baptized as Joseph to ensure his salvation. Ron discusses his own experiences with foster homes and his grandmother's influence, highlighting differing perspectives on faith and childhood experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "My actual name is Joseph. Because I was born in a Catholic hospital and had the cord wrapped around my neck when I was born, so I wasn't getting oxygen and I was dying." (08:07)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "I was raped by a musician." (03:43)

Addiction and Mental Health Discussions (08:51 - 39:05)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussions about addiction and mental health. Bobby opens up about his struggles with addiction, sharing a heartfelt story about his son Max's accident where Max burns his leg during a sleepover. Ron attempts to lighten the mood with humor but eventually expresses genuine concern for Bobby's well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "When you're in a foster home, but you know how you would have temporary homes?" (07:09)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "I love you so much. I'm sorry you're having a bad time, Ron." (39:51)

Max's Accident: A Deep Dive into Parental Concerns (39:05 - 47:23)

Bobby recounts a personal and emotional story about his son Max's accident during a sleepover. Max accidentally burns his leg with a fire pit, and the situation escalates as Bobby discovers Max on the couch the next morning. The narrative highlights the challenges of parenting, trust, and the unforeseen consequences of youthful behavior.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "You can tell the degrees." (46:02)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "It shows a little tenacity. He took the risk..." (46:33)

Relationships, Age Differences, and Social Commentary (47:23 - 63:32)

The hosts engage in a lively discussion about age differences in relationships, referencing societal norms and controversial topics such as the "half-your-age-plus-seven" rule. They touch upon military parades, Trump’s birthday celebrations, and the portrayal of relationships in media, blending humor with critical observations.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "It's like we're having a good time. Nobody cared back in the 80s." (51:02)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "This is the same thing. He's burning his leg, you know, I mean, like, he's making bad choices. You made bad choices." (46:11)

Drummer and Band Discussions (63:32 - 58:43)

The conversation circles back to music, with Ron praising John Stamos as a proficient drummer, much to Bobby's amusement and skepticism. They humorously debate the credibility of celebrity musicians and their contributions to bands like Led Zeppelin and The Beatles.

Notable Quotes:

• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "He is really good." (57:53)
• Bobby Kelly: "Who's your favorite drummer of all time?" (58:30)

Candid Conversations and Emotional Moments (58:43 - 68:14)

As the episode progresses, Bobby expresses vulnerability by discussing his experiences with addiction and the impact on his personal life. Ron attempts to offer support, leading to heartfelt exchanges that contrast the earlier humorous banter.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "This was one of the most hurtful things. I'm discussing my own death with you." (08:46 - 09:04)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "I love you, Ronnie. I apologize. I'm gonna try so much harder right now." (39:58)

Conclusion: Moving Forward and Upcoming Events (68:14 - 70:24)

The episode wraps up with announcements about upcoming shows and personal updates from the hosts. Bobby mentions taking the summer off and shares details about Big Jay Oakerson’s comedy schedule. The final moments include lighthearted interactions and a return to promotional content.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly: "The great big J Okerson is in San Diego this weekend..." (69:52)
• Robert Kelly (Ron Bennington): "And then look at, look at all the hair back then. God damn it. I love that haircut." (56:38)

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Key Insights and Highlights:

• Authenticity and Vulnerability: The episode stands out for its raw and honest discussions, particularly around sensitive topics like addiction and parental concerns.
• Humor Balancing Seriousness: While the hosts delve into deep personal stories, they adeptly use humor to navigate and alleviate tension, maintaining an engaging and relatable atmosphere.
• Diverse Topics: The conversation spans a wide range of subjects, from music and personal histories to societal norms and relationships, showcasing the hosts' versatility and chemistry.
• Listener Engagement: By sharing personal anecdotes and engaging in candid dialogue, the episode fosters a strong connection with listeners, making it both entertaining and impactful.

Conclusion:

"Leg Tomatoes with Ron Bennington" offers a compelling mix of humor, heartfelt stories, and insightful conversations. Bobby Kelly and Ron Bennington provide an unfiltered look into their lives, adeptly balancing lighthearted banter with profound discussions. This episode is a testament to the show's commitment to authentic and engaging content, making it a memorable addition to The Bonfire series.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

The sales are sizzling at Whole Foods.

[Ron Bennington]

Market just in time for the fourth of July weekend. Fire up the grill with savings on robust no antibiotics ever steaks.

[Bobby Kelly]

And there's more. Look for sales on meaty pork chops, made in house salmon burgers and sustainable wild caught sockeye salmon filets.

[Ron Bennington]

Get it all with same day delivery or free pickup.

[Bobby Kelly]

Restrictions apply.

[Ron Bennington]

Shop everything you need for 4th of.

[Bobby Kelly]

July and beyond at Whole Foods Market.

[Ron Bennington]

In store and online.

[Christine]

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[Bobby Kelly]

And now, the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Ron Bennington]

Christine is very sad today because her California boy, this means a lot to her because she's from California, of course. And this is their, this is their music, this is their band. It's her childhood. It's what all California, Real California.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Ron Bennington]

And I guess this means a lot to her. More than us. More than you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, first of all, let me just say this, Bobby. First of all, Christine is love goes out to you and all the other people from Long Beach. It's a beautiful area. But Bobby, you have to understand, this does not like music. He's one of those people, he doesn't know music, he doesn't like music or weird thing is he's got a great singing voice.

[Ron Bennington]

It is a weird thing. And it's not that I don't like music. The great Ron Bennington is here, by the way, filling in for Jay. Big J is right now struggling on Rogan to get some jokes out. Okay. And trying to talk over Louis J. Gomez who's like doggy, doggy, doggy, but. So thank you for filling in, Ronnie, but. Yes, listen, I don't, it's not that I, I, I, I like music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm just not a, I'm not a.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, like a person.

[Ron Bennington]

A stats guy. No, I am not, I'm not the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Music stats do not exist.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, they do.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, ready?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Name five Beach Boy songs.

[Ron Bennington]

The one that just played.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was that?

[Ron Bennington]

That was you can't be without me.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't be without me. Yes.

[Ron Bennington]

Then there's the other one. Happy Beach Days.

[Bobby Kelly]

Happy Beach Days.

[Ron Bennington]

And then there's the other one. Your towel's wet. So is mine. Okay. And then there's the other one. You got a surfboard? I got a surfboard. Let's all go surfing, usa.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there. We finally got the end of one. But, Lou, you're a man. I see your Instagram. You're out at concerts all the time. You're loving music. Could you imagine a life without music? It's insane.

[Ron Bennington]

I can't. But he's right, though. He does love it. He just doesn't. It's like a sport. He doesn't pick a team for.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what he's like. He's like a baby. If he hears music, he starts to move, but he doesn't know why.

[Ron Bennington]

Take that. You know what? I, I, I. I love music when it affects me. I just don't internalize it. Where I have to know the guy in this and the bass player and this album and that album. I don't re. I don't retain. Yes, Ronnie. I don't retain. Your name's Ronnie, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, you can call me Ronnie.

[Ron Bennington]

Ronnie. Okay, I don't retain.

[Bobby Kelly]

But what happened to you when you were a kid? Something in bed. I mean, how do you not. I live for music.

[Ron Bennington]

I was raped by a musician.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

And so that's good. He was. Yeah. No, it wasn't good. Because it made me not remember people's names, band names. I just don't. I just don't get into it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You look at music the way I am with hip hop. I'm like, I've heard some of it, but I don't know what it is.

[Ron Bennington]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are like that with all music.

[Ron Bennington]

Not all music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have a band, Bobby? Do you have, like. Oh, my God, I'm in such a mood. I'm going to put this on. Have you ever made a playlist for yourself?

[Ron Bennington]

I do have. You want to hear my playlist?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Ron Bennington]

Let me show you my playlist. Let me. This is called Dad's Playlist. Would you like to hear my playlist?

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, the fact that you said call it Dad's Playlist.

[Ron Bennington]

Well, I didn't, actually. Max made it for me. But these are all my. All right, here's my songs. Ready? You ready? Okay, here we go.

[Big J Okerson]

But your son picked them.

[Ron Bennington]

No, I picked these. He just made the playlist for me because I didn't have to. Marilyn Will. Pharrell Williams. Marilyn Monroe. I like that song.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, let's throw that phone in the trash.

[Ron Bennington]

All right. You can't live like this Moonshine from the young gun. Silver fox. Have you heard that? Hang on now. Man of skin. Begging. That's it. I'm begging. I'm begging you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gen X. There should be songs that you heard.

[Ron Bennington]

I do have that.

[Bobby Kelly]

And when you were younger. We got it.

[Ron Bennington]

We got it right here, dude. You ready?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Okay. I like silver Wham, bam, Shangha La. That's a good one.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is what happened to radio, you know what I mean? The fact that you work in radio.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't work. Do I work on radio?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, you are. You're closer to radio than podcasts.

[Ron Bennington]

Are you sure?

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. Jay works in radio. You're with him.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm with him. I. I work a million podcast. I love. All right, the Foo Fighters. Love them. Love the Foo Fighters. I love Led Zeppelin, Van Halen. Both versions. Love Van Halen.

[Bobby Kelly]

You love both versions of Van Halen. That means, my friend, you do not love Van Halen.

[Ron Bennington]

First of all, Ronnie, here's the thing with Van Halen, and I'm just gonna put this out there, is that I love the original Van Halen with David Lee Roth. But then later in life, as I matured, I learned to like Van Hagar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I liked Sam Hagar. His voice. I was like, oh, he's got a good voice. And he's actually a showman, so I actually like them. Van Halen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Because David Lee Roth wasn't a showman.

[Ron Bennington]

He was a showman, but too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

As I got older, it's like, you know what? With all the spinning knives and the kicks. You're too much. Yeah, you.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is probably the worst Brian Wilson tribute show that took place in America anywhere in radio today.

[Ron Bennington]

Now, he's a friend of yours.

[Bobby Kelly]

A very good friend.

[Ron Bennington]

Very good friend of yours passed away. I'm so sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'd rather you point that towards Christine. Christine grew up in California and had the pride.

[Ron Bennington]

It is true. Christine, I'm so sorry you lost Brian today.

[Lou]

Thank you.

[Ron Bennington]

And it. Ugh. I.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's wrong with. Oh.

[Ron Bennington]

Because I don't like that people claim things because they were born. She's lived here more than she's lived there. She's more of a New Yorker than she is a California.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. Whatever happened to you when you were a kid, it sticks with you. It. You can't get. It's just like whatever religion was pushed on you, you haven't scooped it all out. There's still plenty left.

[Ron Bennington]

Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the way a place is now. You would have known That. I know it doesn't feel as connected when you're in a foster home, but you know how you would have temporary homes?

[Ron Bennington]

I had. I've had a few foster homes. Yes, yes. Temporary homes, if that's what you call them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I mean, that means that obviously you weren't loved, but that.

[Ron Bennington]

Stop. I mean, I don't. I was loved. My. My grandma loved me.

[Bobby Kelly]

You didn't tell.

[Ron Bennington]

That's about it. That's.

[Bobby Kelly]

You didn't even say that convincingly.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, you're right.

[Bobby Kelly]

The way you said it, you're thinking. Thing went up.

[Ron Bennington]

She was. She was Catholic. She had to love me. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you're a Catholic?

[Ron Bennington]

I'm Catholic, yeah. What are you. You don't believe in God at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

Where'd that come from?

[Ron Bennington]

I don't. I don't know. It came from my. My guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I was raised Catholic.

[Ron Bennington]

Are you Catholic, too?

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you? Do you. I'll tell you how Catholic I am. My actual name is Joseph.

[Ron Bennington]

Joseph.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I was born in a Catholic hospital and had the cord wrapped around my neck when I was born, so I wasn't getting oxygen and I was dying. And when you're in a Catholic hospital, at least back then, if you're a little boy, they quick baptize you Joseph. If you're a little girl, they quick baptize you Mary. So my. Why is this funny? I was.

[Ron Bennington]

Ronnie. Ronnie, I'm sorry. Yeah. But you. I. I believe you. Yes, but you are a man. You are a man to. You have a beautiful imagination.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's.

[Ron Bennington]

And I. I'm not. I'm not questioning this.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is one of the most hurtful things. I'm. I'm discussing my own death with you.

[Ron Bennington]

First of all, on the death of your friend's day. I don't. I don't want to do that. Your friend died today, and I don't want to hurt you like this, so I apologize. Please keep going. So you. You were about to die.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I wasn't about to die. I was dead. I wasn't getting oxygen.

[Ron Bennington]

You were dead. And they quick named you Joseph.

[Bobby Kelly]

They name you Joseph so you wouldn't go where when you're not baptized and you die. Hell, you're not a.

[Ron Bennington]

You're not a Catholic, but to hell, right? So you wouldn't go where.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no.

[Ron Bennington]

So you wouldn't go to. You wouldn't go where you would go.

[Bobby Kelly]

To in those days. You went to limbo.

[Ron Bennington]

Limbo.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's where the little babies that weren't baptized.

[Ron Bennington]

Sorry. I'm sorry. This is fascinating. So I apologize. Stop laughing.

[Bobby Kelly]

So not only that, but then I was in an incubator for two weeks. So it was like literally two weeks before I felt a human touch. And that's why I end up being the addict that I am to this day.

[Ron Bennington]

Because nobody touched you?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because that hole was right there from the second I was born.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. You were murdered by your mother.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think she did it on purpose. Because I was insane.

[Ron Bennington]

We don't know that.

[Bobby Kelly]

How would she. I mean, it's not like, you know the cherry and you wrap it around your tongue.

[Ron Bennington]

How did they come up with that? You know what I mean? They could have flipped it around, maybe. Have you talked to her about this?

[Bobby Kelly]

My mom's dead.

[Ron Bennington]

Okay. Well, I'm sorry about her death, too. This is starting off on a bad note.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And I apologize. Brian's gone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Brian's gone.

[Ron Bennington]

You were gone for. You were gone for a minute, you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a lot longer than a minute. Can I tell you something?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was so peaceful over there. You know what I mean? In limbo, it was so. No, I didn't have to go to limbo.

[Ron Bennington]

You were Joseph.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was back in the bay. Baby Heaven.

[Ron Bennington]

You got quick name. Yeah, you got quick named. So you're in baby heaven now. Baby Heaven. Is it all babies?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, it's babies. With some nurses.

[Ron Bennington]

Because you can't just have all babies. Because who's going to take care of the babies, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

In heaven, you're taken care of by our Holy Father. From the Catholic that you would have stayed with if you were a real Catholic.

[Ron Bennington]

Wait a minute now. If you're in heaven and you die as a baby. And you go to baby heaven. There's nurses and you're being taken care of by the Holy Father.

[Bobby Kelly]

And also you can talk. That's one of the things. If you read the Bible when you're in baby heaven, you can talk your ass off. You can just talk regular many languages.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

So you're like a foreigner?

[Bobby Kelly]

My specialty only language was. My specialty was Portuguese.

[Ron Bennington]

You spoke Portuguese?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Ron Bennington]

And then you came back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I came really for the first time. I had no real. What you call this reality was not mine.

[Ron Bennington]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you know, for a while. But it's hard when you tell something from your soul. And a person that you consider a friend doesn't believe you.

[Ron Bennington]

Let me tell you something. I am your friend. And I do believe you. And I'm sorry that you died for a minute or two or 20 and I'm sorry that you. But you did go to Baby Heaven, which was pretty wild. And you spoke five languages for a few minutes, which is fantastic.

[Bobby Kelly]

There is no time there. Okay, so what you consider a minute could be thousands of years. You don't understand. I mean, obviously you didn't attend church. You didn't go to college.

[Ron Bennington]

But I did go to church. I was an altar boy, Ronnie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really? So that's where you got hurt?

[Ron Bennington]

Well, I got fired. I didn't get hurt. I got fired.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stealing?

[Ron Bennington]

No, I was drinking the wine.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's stealing. You stole the blood of Christ?

[Ron Bennington]

Well, I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was.

[Ron Bennington]

I. I wanted the blood of Christ. Why was I just getting the body?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Why couldn't I get the blood, too?

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. I see why.

[Ron Bennington]

So you go to, like, a Baptist church and they give you the body and the blood. You go to a Catholic church.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would I go to a Baptist church?

[Ron Bennington]

I have been to one in a jam, in a pickle, when you need a little God in your life.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. I went. And they give you the. They give you the blood and the body, but in the Catholic church, the priest is the only person that gets the blood. What's up with that, Ron?

[Bobby Kelly]

Look, he can also give you a little bit of chowder if that's what you're looking for.

[Ron Bennington]

Is that. But is that blessed?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sure it is. Some of the. They say some of the best.

[Ron Bennington]

It's some of the best.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shout out. Yeah, I would say this, Bobby, and it's very important. This comes from. You don't have music. Okay. And then you also don't have spirituality.

[Ron Bennington]

You know, you don't have both.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You personally don't. You know, you never adapted to spirituality. You're confused.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't understand music at all.

[Ron Bennington]

I prayed this morning, Ronnie.

[Bobby Kelly]

What kind of prayer? Baptist? A Maga prayer.

[Ron Bennington]

Is that it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Is this where we're going, bro? We're going to LA thing? I'm not calling it a riot. You know what I'm saying?

[Ron Bennington]

It was a peaceful gathering.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. Until who showed up? The man?

[Ron Bennington]

Until the people that lit the fires?

[Bobby Kelly]

Or maybe the people that showed up with guns?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, let's not get into that.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's too late.

[Ron Bennington]

It's too late.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's too late.

[Ron Bennington]

All right, let's. Would you call me maga?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, everybody did.

[Ron Bennington]

I am not this. You know, what is it? Where is this coming from? Is this coming from because of our. Because of our street wars that we're having?

[Bobby Kelly]

What street wars? Are you talking about the 49th and 48th Street?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. See, your 48th people. We're 49th people. But we were. I believe we were originally. You guys were originally with Dan the 48th, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Dan was 49.

[Ron Bennington]

No, he was 48.

[Lou]

We were 48th until they started doing construction over there.

[Ron Bennington]

Right.

[Lou]

And then we moved to 49th and we never moved back.

[Ron Bennington]

But you.

[Lou]

But it was like. We've been on 49th for a long time.

[Ron Bennington]

Originally 48.

[Big J Okerson]

The first two years. We're on 48th.

[Ron Bennington]

Two years, a long time on 48th. Right. That's kind of.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that's before we had the construction. It made it a lot nicer that put in the hot tubs and that we have now.

[Ron Bennington]

Wait a minute. What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's beautiful over there.

[Ron Bennington]

You have hot tubs on 48th?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not only that, but there's legal. Legal sex work takes place on 40.

[Ron Bennington]

On 48th?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. On 48th.

[Ron Bennington]

Is that what the construction was all about?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, that was it. Well, they were putting in, like, small, legal brothels.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, but do you have food trucks? We have food trucks on 48th.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anybody who eats out of a truck and considers it food, if it's not soft serve ice cream, it's not edible. Out of a truck. You eat out of food trucks?

[Ron Bennington]

Well, we've. We had the Japanese food. We have. What's that other place that the guy has out front?

[Bobby Kelly]

Taste of Puebla.

[Ron Bennington]

Taste of Pueblo. It's fantastic. Oh, God, it's fantastic. It's fantastic. Can I say something real quick?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Ron Bennington]

I just want to make an announcement, if you don't mind. I know it's been a rough day for you and Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thanks.

[Ron Bennington]

It's okay, man. Christina, again, my condolences to you. In all of California. I won an award.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ronnie, what's the award for, buddy?

[Ron Bennington]

I won an award and I found out today, and I've only won three awards in my life. I won the Devereaux Deveraux Lux Award for one of the juvenile delinquents that made it out of the system. One on a 30. One out of 30 make it. I don't know if you know that statistic. I was one of the 30. I won the best comedy app. 2005, maybe six comedy central. Best comedy app. Because, you know, I'm always ahead of the curve, technology wise.

[Bobby Kelly]

You had a nap.

[Ron Bennington]

And then today I found out I won a trippy award for asset. No, I want a trippy for UB tripping. Ari Shaffir's podcast 2024 best pitchers in Cuba, I won my third award of my life. And I want to say something right now. I want to thank. First of all, I want to thank Ari Shafir for bringing me out of my comfort zone, for making me do things that I probably wouldn't do and go places I want to go, but I'm scared to go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sexually?

[Ron Bennington]

No, not sexually. All right, Not. Not all. Not sexually, but mostly just going to Cuba. Scary place. Third world country, Communist socialist island. And I went there and I was afraid, but he brought me into my. Out of my comfort zone, and I went and I had a beautiful time. And I want to say to all.

[Bobby Kelly]

The influences, I think you're being played off.

[Ron Bennington]

I want to say. I want to say real quick, I want to thank Jesus Christ, my Lord and savior. I want to thank Donald Trump for protecting people all over. I also want, I want to thank that, that, you know, when you have a camera, hold it up. Don't be afraid of taking pictures. Don't be afraid of taking those photos. Don't. Even if people look at you, crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Congratulations on the trippy.

[Ron Bennington]

Thank you very much.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's really like a very sexual award, too.

[Ron Bennington]

Why is it sexual? Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, it's.

[Ron Bennington]

It's a ball on top of a. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or a head. It's a head on top of a base.

[Ron Bennington]

It's on. So what do you mean? Like, you could, you could do stuff with this. Like, where would you put this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably up your ass.

[Ron Bennington]

Really? Yeah. I don't know if this would fit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. You.

[Ron Bennington]

No, I thought that was wider. I'm saying that it would be. It wouldn't stay in. That's what I'm talking about. It would just slide on out. Yes. Dude, it's. It's a crazy. A beautiful award, and I'm so glad I did it, and I'm so glad I won. Have you been out of the country?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I lived in Cuba for three years.

[Ron Bennington]

No, seriously, you've been, you've been in Florida. You know, you don't strike me as a traveler.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I, I. The idea of travel has changed.

[Ron Bennington]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Quite a bit. It's now, like, you could say it's like an influencer thing. You know, when you see the way that you travel, you know, it's like, oh, I want to get my picture in front of this.

[Ron Bennington]

Well, that's actually. I'm showing a picture of me in front of a dilapidated third world country building with no windows and no walls. I mean, it's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's still nice.

[Ron Bennington]

It is Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I traveled, I watched my head, my friends heads get blown off by fucking Charlie. I don't know whether, you know, that's your idea of fun travel, but when you're forced your own sergeant to shoot a baby, to not leave anybody behind.

[Ron Bennington]

Wait a minute, Ronnie. I'm sorry. Were you in Vietnam?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to say Vietnam, but I went to a lot of Vietnam movies.

[Ron Bennington]

So you. So you weren't in the war, but you went to Vietnam?

[Bobby Kelly]

Is Apocalypse now an easy thing for you to handle?

[Ron Bennington]

It's not, by the way.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? I love that you did that. That you said Cuba, like Kennedy. Did you notice you want Cuba? Yeah. Never, ever hear John Kennedy when he had the Cuban Missile crisis. He always sounded like somebody from Boston. But the better end of Boston.

[Ron Bennington]

You mean Hyannis Port?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the money end.

[Ron Bennington]

It really is the money end. There are different people. They have a different accent.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a weird.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't look. I don't know anybody with that Kennedy. You can't get there from here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Ron Bennington]

It's that Petrifarm remembers the right pet cemetery.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's good.

[Ron Bennington]

It's more main. People talk like that. Why is my wrist like this? What are you doing?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's that award that you got to put over here. We used to have a thing. They called it the Mid Atlantic. And you hear it in old movies where they have that. You hear like the women talking very.

[Ron Bennington]

Clippy, like Breakfast at Tiffany's. Yes, it's very like, hello, darling.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. It was almost like a European thing, but right, that's.

[Bobby Kelly]

They call it Mid Atlantic because it's somewhere in between America and England. And that's the way that they would train people to talk. But there was no actual accent that way.

[Ron Bennington]

So they were. The movie people would train them to talk that way. To sound more sophisticated than the regular Joe.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Hey, all the years you've been in show business and you use the term the movie people.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, the movie people. Yeah, yeah, the movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like they were circus folk.

[Ron Bennington]

Well, if you look back. Back in the day, that's what they like to be called. I don't know if you know history like they like to be called.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know movie people?

[Ron Bennington]

Yes, I do. Let's go. What do you want? What do you want to know?

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, I. I want to know, first of all, right off. I want to know where your people are from.

[Ron Bennington]

My people are from. Well, if you. If you talk to me and my grandmother, Irish, Canada, and my father from Sicily. If you Talk to Colin Quinn. My great, great, great great grandmother was raped on the Khyber Pass. So someone in there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right, but now when you say Canadian.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you mean French Canadian?

[Ron Bennington]

I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

Is there any other.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, yes, the other Canadians, but I'm saying. So where were your people from there?

[Ron Bennington]

I think it was in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or they could be native part of the.

[Ron Bennington]

I think it was Quebec or some.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Quebec.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was it the only place that French Canadians are in? So you come from a long line of Skinners. People would catch a small animal, pull the skin off and mail it back.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't know if we were Skinners.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no other way that the. The French Canadians made money.

[Ron Bennington]

My grandfather was ice guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh. He was the other one. Busting people.

[Ron Bennington]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

And taking them away. Separating children from their families.

[Ron Bennington]

First of all, they're not separating children, okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes they are.

[Ron Bennington]

No, they're not. Yeah, no they're not.

[Bobby Kelly]

They showed 10 kids who were brought in and they don't even have a lawyer or speak the language, buddy.

[Ron Bennington]

First of all, you don't know if they're kids span. Mexican people are very small.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh my God.

[Ron Bennington]

Very small. Okay, Bobby, that could be. That could be a 34 year old guy. You don't know that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hold on. I just got a text from Jim. He said, can you shut him up? He is costing us many advertisers.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, that is a little. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that guy cut my lawn last week. I know him.

[Bobby Kelly]

I gotta look at him.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, he's adorable.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no, he's gone too.

[Ron Bennington]

No, he's gone. Where'd he go?

[Bobby Kelly]

Cuba, as a matter of fact. They've opened up Guantanamo Bay. Look at his little feet.

[Ron Bennington]

And this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at girl.

[Ron Bennington]

They're showing two little kids in court. There's nobody there. She's adorable. This can't be real. Yeah, that. He can't be real. Who's that? That looks like Colin Quinn's uncle. Look at the headphones. Don't fit. That's so silly.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is. See, this is.

[Ron Bennington]

You know what a lawyer is. Oh, no. What is this?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is reality.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, shut up, you California liberal.

[Lou]

Oh, this is what's going on.

[Ron Bennington]

There's no way. This is old footage. This is footage from what Obama was in.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is really.

[Ron Bennington]

This is what Obama did.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? I love the fact that you guys don't even deal with the truth at all. Yeah, that's called be being in a cult.

[Ron Bennington]

That's called being a stand up comedian. If we talk the truth.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Then where would we be I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

You'd have to be George Carlin.

[Ron Bennington]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Wow. That hurt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was that a shot?

[Ron Bennington]

That shot? That was a shot. That hurt. That. That. I felt that in my gut.

[Bobby Kelly]

So what are you saying?

[Ron Bennington]

I felt that in my gut.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what you're saying you're more like George Carlin, or even bringing up George Carlin is a bad thing.

[Ron Bennington]

I know. No, I'm not like George Cullen at all, apparently. I'm just out there, you know, talking. I hate it. I'm gonna start tonight. I'm gonna go on stage of the Cellar. I'm gonna talk about this. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened?

[Big J Okerson]

Nothing.

[Ron Bennington]

Why'd you punch the table?

[Big J Okerson]

I tapped it.

[Ron Bennington]

No, you. You went like this and went. Damn. What'd you lose? A bet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you feel free to express himself?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. What happened?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, you hyper focused on. I just twitched a little.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm worried about you. Is that bad? I thought something happened. You lost a bet.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry.

[Ron Bennington]

Something went down. You. You know, Tesla stock went down again, and you started to panic. It was all about worrying about you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Ron Bennington]

His whole life.

[Bobby Kelly]

I shorted it. So this is great time for me. A great time. But, you know, he's trying to crawl back, so maybe. But why didn't you sell when the only people that he bought the cars, he turned on? You know what I mean? Like, the people who are pro Trump, from just a business point of view, the only people who bought those cars were, like, California hippies with money.

[Big J Okerson]

And then the Republicans started buying, and then never. The left stopped.

[Bobby Kelly]

He. Well, the left stopped when he dodged.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I mean, but when Trump went out and said, everybody buy a car, they didn't. The cars aren't moving and haven't moved since January. You got to get out today. Take a major loss. Now, Bobby, with you, do not be ashamed that you're just an entertainer, because I think you're one of the best ever. Here's the bit that I love, and I want you to open with it tonight. Yeah, I think that thing where you tie the belt to your dick and you come running out on stage, everyone's going crazy.

[Ron Bennington]

I tie the belt to my dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dick Bell.

[Ron Bennington]

Dick Bell. Dick bell.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who wants me to ring it?

[Ron Bennington]

And you just start.

[Bobby Kelly]

Heller. Cop.

[Ron Bennington]

Is there bell on the thing?

[Bobby Kelly]

On the thing?

[Ron Bennington]

Am I ringing my dick?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you're. There's a bell on your dick, and then it's ringing as you're swinging. You.

[Ron Bennington]

I get it now. This could be perfect. Merge, too can you call T Shirt Kevin and get me a Dick bell?

[Bobby Kelly]

Would you feel worse if T Shirt Kevin died? Then?

[Ron Bennington]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

If. If T Shirt Kevin died, I'd be sick.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that'd be your Brian.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, that'd be my Brian Wilson. Yes, that'd be my heat. Let me tell you something about the Beach Boys. I didn't get into the beach boys until 10 years ago because I didn't understand how good they were until I later in life where I was like, oh, my God, these songs are fucking beautiful. They're amazing. Now, the Beach Boys had an internal argument, like a fight with themselves. The lead guy, who's the singer guy, my club Mike Love and Brian hate each other, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, Brian was. Apparently went back and. And, you know, kind of made up with people that went along and put things behind him because I guess he knew he was going.

[Ron Bennington]

He knew he was going.

[Bobby Kelly]

But Brian had mental problems.

[Ron Bennington]

What? What? Because he was normal. And then something happened. Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Ron Bennington]

He was. Drugs?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, no, I think he took drugs because he was already, like, schizophrenic.

[Ron Bennington]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

So there's a movie about it. John Cusack plays him when he's older. But maybe if you sit down and find out what your own nation's history is, would be a way to go.

[Ron Bennington]

Is that my nation's history?

[Bobby Kelly]

Musically, yes. The Beach Boys were the only band that ever scared the Beatles. Where the Beatles are like, guys, we gotta fucking pick it up. Have you heard Pet Sounds? You know what I mean? They weren't, you know, no offense to you, but Vic Damone did not fucking, you know, worry them.

[Ron Bennington]

I, I, I, I look at, man, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna get into the Beatles. I'm gonna do a little more research about my, My culture. Because I think you're right, because you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Saying you don't even know the Beatles.

[Ron Bennington]

I know the Beatles.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm. I like the Stones better than the Beatles. Is that a bad thing?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I like this. If it were true, it'd be like, oh, Bobby's interesting. But just to say it, to say it. You know what I mean?

[Ron Bennington]

I mean, that's just more pathetic. I don't, I don't really. I don't know if I like that saying. That's just.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's your favorite Stones album again?

[Ron Bennington]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't have to. I don't.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I'm saying.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I don't sound like. If you thought that But I.

[Ron Bennington]

But that's your thing. I have stuff that, like, you wouldn't be into.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Ron Bennington]

Like, I'm into. I'm into watches. Like, I'm into. I'm into fly fishing. I'm not into jewelry.

[Bobby Kelly]

You haven't done fly fishing in a long time.

[Ron Bennington]

I've done fly fish.

[Bobby Kelly]

Have you done it? Montana.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm going for. Yes, I have.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And I've done it. And I've done it in Utah. And did you know that the. You ever see the movie with Brad Pit, A River Runs Through?

[Bobby Kelly]

I actually read the book before I saw him.

[Ron Bennington]

Why do you always get to talk?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm just saying, like, if you read the book, you're like, the movie's kind of good, but is it, you.

[Ron Bennington]

Know, I can't fight with the book. I saw the movie. I can't fight. I can't fight with a reader, Ronnie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but go ahead. What do you have?

[Ron Bennington]

I'm on your side, but listen, when you bring up reading, I gotta tap out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And that's not fair.

[Bobby Kelly]

But why don't you get an audiobook? Why don't you be one of those? No, that's special needs people.

[Ron Bennington]

That's like Ozempic. Yeah. I can't do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

So a zempic is.

[Ron Bennington]

No offense.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, sorry.

[Ron Bennington]

I forgot. You're doing it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's doing it?

[Ron Bennington]

Sorry, I couldn't tell.

[Bobby Kelly]

How is it any good?

[Lou]

I've kept weight off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Lou]

I'm not, you know, rapidly losing it, but I haven't gained it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. And it just. What does it do? It suppresses.

[Lou]

Yeah. It just makes you not really care about food.

[Ron Bennington]

Does it make you sick when you eat too much? Yes. So if you eat too much, you get sick. So that's what deters you. Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you get a speedy feel out of it?

[Lou]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then why do it when there's crystal meth? Why are you doing Majera? And that's what it is. It's Majera.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Lou]

Manjaro.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Now, I thought it was from.

[Ron Bennington]

Did you stop doing crystal meth? Are you done with that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I. Well, I've cut back.

[Ron Bennington]

You've come back. But is it because of the price of it or because of the. You know, it's. The quality isn't as good.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're stepping on it.

[Ron Bennington]

They're stepping on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And there's fentanyl in it, but not enough.

[Ron Bennington]

So it's not enough to kill you or not enough for you to feel good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Ron Bennington]

Right. Okay, that's good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fentanyl have you ever done it?

[Ron Bennington]

No. Was. I wasn't around when I quit drugs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Doesn't that bother you? Like when you hear people talking about K holes and you're like, what the fuck?

[Ron Bennington]

No.

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[Bobby Kelly]

But you were a child when you got sober.

[Ron Bennington]

A child. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So how do you know as an.

[Ron Bennington]

Adult that I'm not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I mean, that is a gamble I can't take.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you gamble?

[Ron Bennington]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. There is a gamble.

[Ron Bennington]

I can't. I can't gamble. I can't. I'm an addict through and through.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if you are.

[Ron Bennington]

Are you crazy? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not an adult addict.

[Ron Bennington]

Do you have any bags? I've bought in the last three months?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll back them up on this run.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

He's an addict.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm an addict.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he's a bagaholic.

[Ron Bennington]

Because.

[Bobby Kelly]

When people try to put a hole in.

[Ron Bennington]

That's what we call it. We call. We're bag sluts. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

So please, I can give you two.

[Big J Okerson]

Things he took up within, like, hardcore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Shane Gillis gave him a Zen.

[Bobby Kelly]

He.

[Big J Okerson]

He came in with tins of Zinn to pass out for. To everyone for about a month.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know why? But it isn't. It isn't about that. It's about being Shane, where he wanted to be.

[Ron Bennington]

It didn't work.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's an older kid.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. You're an addict.

[Bobby Kelly]

Am I, though, Poppy?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, I think you are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Am I?

[Ron Bennington]

You're just. You've. You've got it under control, really.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody has it under control.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, there you go then. That's an addict. And you say it's very smart.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Right. Do you used to do drugs all the time, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I did. I'm. I did a lot of drugs as.

[Ron Bennington]

An adult back in the day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Back in the day. And then later, then, you know, went in a different direction. Closer to midlife, I could. I, like, here's the thing with drugs. When I did get sober, I was with this guy and he was like, tell me all the times that you turn down drugs at an occasion to come up. And I couldn't think of one. And here's. Here's what I do think. I just wanted to feel different. And then I was feeling at any given time. So I feel that now. You know what I mean? I feel this sitting here like I wanted this to go better, I think.

[Ron Bennington]

Ronnie, I am so happy you're here. I'm so sad you feel that way. I love being around you. You understand? I'm doing radio with the. The Legend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Ronnie B. This is crazy. Like, Jay's out and she's. I was like, ronnie, will do. I was like, yes. I was so happy when you said, you do it. I. I'm sorry that it's going terribly bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it went.

[Ron Bennington]

I blame. I blame Brian and that Bullshit. If that didn't happen, maybe you'd be in a different mood. Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I haven't gotten a word in. In quite some time. To me, radio is a different thing. It's a conversation. Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

I. I don't know how to do that type of radio. We don't do. We don't do that on Bonfire. Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hear it from everybody in the building. But we're trying. But do you want a broad? Do you want to be a broadcaster? Do you want to be somebody who's in here knowing what they're doing? Yeah. Or are you just trying to come up with a different name for a vagina every two minutes?

[Ron Bennington]

Stink wrinkle. Slippy knot. Balloon knot.

[Bobby Kelly]

See, that's an. Yeah, but what I'm trying to say. Yeah, but what I'm saying is you had me vulnerable.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Talking about my addiction, which nobody does.

[Ron Bennington]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

And what did you do with it?

[Ron Bennington]

I made it funny. I tried to make a joke about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't even realize.

[Ron Bennington]

I tried. I tried. And I shouldn't have. And I should have. Here's what I should have done. I should have been an ear, not a mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's interesting. It's only half right. But the last time I was in here, and the guys will tell you I was with Jay, we crushed it. And we were just like, this is good. So. And then somebody said to me that they go, you could do this with anyone. And I found out today that's not true.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

This was a tough one for me today.

[Ron Bennington]

This is so. It hurts my feelings. I love you so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't even know that. I thought you were being aggressive with me.

[Ron Bennington]

Am I aggressive? I'm being too aggressive. You.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I mean.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm sorry. It just comes out. It's the Boston. No, I'm. I love you, Ronnie. I apologize. I'm gonna try so much harder right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, see, that's what you can't do harder.

[Ron Bennington]

But I'm not going to try. Let's just flow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's just see how.

[Ron Bennington]

I got a. I got a. A situation that happened to me over the weekend. Being a dad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God, here we go.

[Ron Bennington]

And a husband.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. This is not what people like. They want to. Not picture anybody as a parent.

[Ron Bennington]

I want to. I want you to help me with this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay?

[Ron Bennington]

Cuz my son, you don't have. You don't have a son.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. But do you Have a son. Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I didn't know that. What's his name?

[Bobby Kelly]

His name is Miles. But I don't talk about him constantly on the radio because he has a private life. Okay. His own life. I don't think of him as fodder or material.

[Ron Bennington]

Well, I guess I won't talk about what happened this weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

What'd he do? He had trouble.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't talk about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

He pooped.

[Ron Bennington]

No, that's not true.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was it?

[Ron Bennington]

It was pretty devastated.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

It was pretty up.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right.

[Ron Bennington]

What happened?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't want to talk about him now because I don't want him to be fodder.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're his father.

[Ron Bennington]

No, I don't. I don't want.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. I want to hear it. Maybe it works.

[Ron Bennington]

I want to treat him like Miles gets treated.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now you brought up his name again.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm sorry, but how did you bring him up?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but I understand. I love my son, so it might be different for you.

[Ron Bennington]

I love my son.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know you do.

[Ron Bennington]

I love.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody tries harder than you.

[Ron Bennington]

I. What do you mean? Try hard. I don't have to try love.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do try.

[Ron Bennington]

I love him, all right? I love him so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

But something devastated happening happened to him.

[Ron Bennington]

Not. It's not devastating, but it was definitely traumatic for me. It was weird.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think traumatic is devastating.

[Ron Bennington]

It wasn't. It wasn't like something that's going to affect him forever. He'll. He'll be. It's over.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly what trauma is.

[Ron Bennington]

It's over. It's over. It's not. He's. It's over. The whole thing is over. But he had a sleepover over somebody's house, another parent's house. It was supposed to be a camping sleepover, like 10 kids. We're gonna camp outside in tents.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And Max goes in the summer, goes away in the summer, and he does overnight camping. He's in a wilderness camp. He does all this stuff. So he was excited. I was excited. He's done it. He had his own stuff and blah, blah, blah. So it's down in a rich part of Westchester. It's a wealthy family. And so I go and do my show. My wife's home, she had surgery, so she's just chilling. She really can't do anything. I go and do. I have a show. I'm coming right back after. I'm gonna smoke a cigar after him. After the show. Great show. Having a cigar. Get a phone call from my wife. Max got burnt. I'm like, what? Max got burnt in A fire. The fire pit. He. He was doing something around the fire pit. His leg backed up into it, and he's got a burnt. I need you to go and see how it is, see what it looks like. And I'm like, I'm like an hour away. I. Fine. I go, I. I gotta go. I get in the car. I. I'm on the way. Max is calling me, dad, can you please come? And I'm on my way. And I know the people. So I get there and I look at his leg. He's got, like a first degree secondary burn on his calf. Apparently, he was fucking around near the fire pit and he backed up into it and it sizzed his leg. It burnt his leg, his back of his calf. And I'm like, how did this happen? She's like, well, I just went inside for a second. I'm like, this. But there's only one. There's only one adult. There's 10 kids hanging out. There's 10 kids at this party. It's 12:30 at night. There's only one adult. And these kids are all going mental, like Lord of the Flies. I mean, you really can't leave a kid. But what are you. Fine. So then Max is like, I'm like, you just come home with me. He's like, I want to stay. I'm like, max, you got to burn. Let me. Let me bring you home. He's like, no, they put tomatoes on it. I'm like, what? Yeah. One of the older kids that was there was like, I worked in a restaurant. You put tomatoes on burns and that heals it. I'm like, this is the exact opposite. It's acid. You don't put a fucking tomato on a burn. You don't do that. But I'm like, just come home. And he's like, I just want to stay. I'm like, are you sure? He's like, yes. I go, all right, I'm going to hang out here for a little bit. If you change your mind, let me know. But once I leave, I leave. He's like, okay. So he goes in the tent. One tent is throwing shit at the other tent that Max is in. So you get five boys over here, five boys over here. And it's one o' clock at night, they're still being fucking assholes. And the father comes home and he starts yelling at him, blah, blah, blah. So I say, all right, I'm gonna go. You cool? Yep. Bye. Go to sleep, come home. Dawn's there. I'm taking her. Finally go to bed around 2:30 in the morning. The next day I wake up, Max is downstairs on the couch and there's food out. Apparently he came home and made food and watched TV and went to bed. But we're 25 minutes away from the place he was staying. Like, I'm like, how the fuck did you get home? So apparently in the middle of the night, these kids were fucking with him. Max went over to their tent, took all the tent poles out of the other kids tent. And one of the kids in his tent called his dad to pick him up. And he's like, hey, can you give me a ride home too? And the guy was like, all right. And he gave Max a ride home at four in the morning and just dropped him off. But it's 25 minutes away at 4 in the morning. He had this guy drive him all the way up to where we live, drop him off. He just came in, didn't wake us up, didn't tell the people that he was staying with that he's leaving, just left. So they woke up in the morning, there was three kids gone, Max being one of them. I woke up, Max is on my couch in the fucking basement. And some Russian guy, Ivan, drove him home at 4 in the morning. Now would you be mad at him or would you be proud that he made it home?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry, I haven't been paying attention. What was the food that he ate?

[Ron Bennington]

It was Greek food.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did he have his leg tomatoes with it?

[Ron Bennington]

No, he didn't have leg tomatoes.

[Bobby Kelly]

How old's your kid?

[Ron Bennington]

He's 12. All right, just turned 12.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's plenty old enough for everything to happen. This is exactly the way you act when you're 12.

[Ron Bennington]

No, I was actually in. No, I was drinking the 12.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, this is the same thing. He's burning his leg, you know, I mean, like, he's making bad choices. You made bad choices.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, but he didn't make a choice to burn his leg. He accidentally.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's around there a fire.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, that's true.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean? Like, he knows what he's doing. You know, the kids are laughing like, hey, look at Max jumping over the fire pit.

[Ron Bennington]

But the other people will all up like, oh my God, I can't believe he was not here and he shouldn't have, blah, blah, blah. But in my brain I'm like, the kid made it home at four in the morning by himself with some dude tenacity. It shows a little tenacity. He took the risk of maybe getting.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, but at no Time. Did you think about taking him to the hospital?

[Ron Bennington]

I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, burns are bad.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, I did. But he was like, I don't want to go. It was, it was all right. It was. If it's a third degree burn, I would have took him to the hospital.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can tell the degrees.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. I just, I, I don't know if you know this, Ronnie, but I was a burn specialist for three years back in.

[Bobby Kelly]

I apologize then.

[Ron Bennington]

It's okay. You didn't. How are you gonna know that?

[Big J Okerson]

And he had tomatoes.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. Well, then. No, the kid there was like, put tomatoes on it. I worked at a restaurant. Yeah, you put tomatoes on it, and that's. That, that helps it burn. It's like you're out of your.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do. I did hear that after 9. 11.

[Ron Bennington]

Oh, is that what they did?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. They were using a lot of tomatoes.

[Ron Bennington]

There was. All the Italian restaurants were running down to ground zero with tomatoes.

[Bobby Kelly]

But here's the. The thing.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

A kid is a kid. What are you gonna do?

[Ron Bennington]

I don't know, man. I mean, I was proud of him. I was like, kind of good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you feel like the kids were with them, though? Like you said, they were throwing at his.

[Ron Bennington]

There was. When I was there, there was one tent that was just being cool kids. Now they were the nerdy rich kids, and the other tent was the bigger kids. And they were trying to go to sleep and try, you know, it was 12:30 at night. They were like, I had enough. And, And Max got in trouble for taking the poles out of the tent because then the other kids didn't have a place to sleep. I was like, in one way, I'm like, good for him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. You gotta around back with that other tent. There's no doubt about it. But you don't like rich kids. You're kind of prejudice against rich kids.

[Ron Bennington]

I, I, I'm fine with rich kids.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, this thing has come up. Christina, tell me what you think about. So this movie is coming out this week with Pedro, whatever his name is, and Chris Pine. And they say in movies, right, when the girls have to pick between the rich, successful guy and the poor guy, in movies, they always pick the poor guy.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because people feel like that's better somehow. But what is wrong teaching a young girl, hey, a rich guy might make life a little nicer.

[Ron Bennington]

They will.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

You know that for a fact? Yeah, if you had it in the last couple years. It took a long time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but it did work.

[Lou]

And if they're really old, they might die quick.

[Ron Bennington]

Terrible. Thing to say, Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

But so you understand that.

[Ron Bennington]

Are you mad that Jay's getting into shape?

[Bobby Kelly]

You. When you see the girl with Bill Belichick, that makes sense to you, right?

[Lou]

Oh, and it's just so. It's so bizarre, but it makes sense to me on his end, like, just kind of not caring what anybody thinks about it.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, but he's. But he's not gonna die, Belichick. He's not gonna die.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, he's closer than she is.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, closer than she is. But I mean, if she's in it for the money, fantastic. But he's not. He's gonna be around for a minute. So she's gonna have to live with him and she's gonna have to live with him during his shit stages.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, how old is he now?

[Ron Bennington]

He's like, he's probably 60 or something. Is he 73?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he's around there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he's older now. You know the thing that they say that is supposed to be half plus seven. Half of your age plus seven. So if you're 50, you're with a 32 year old girl, nobody gets upset. But if you're 20, that would take it five and let's see, five and seven, that's not good. Before you could do it. Yeah, that's not.

[Ron Bennington]

That's a bad one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's not a good one at all. Yeah, it should be 10 and she'd be 15.

[Ron Bennington]

15.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, 17. She'd be 17.

[Ron Bennington]

It's close.

[Bobby Kelly]

People are okay with that.

[Ron Bennington]

It's close.

[Bobby Kelly]

20 and 17.

[Ron Bennington]

17, you're still in trouble.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Ron Bennington]

But if you're 20, if you, you were okay in the 80s, 70 90s, you were good. 17.

[Lou]

Romeo and Juliet laws now, I don't know how new.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that even mean? Like if they're closer in age.

[Lou]

Yeah, like you're not, you don't need to, you know, you're not like a child molester. If you're an 18 year old sleeping with a 17 year old.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Ron Bennington]

There's a video of. There's a whole group of kids in front of a Judas Priest concert. And all the guys are like, yeah, 20 something. And they're with 15 year old girls.

[Bobby Kelly]

This, that one guy certainly is. And he's got his arm wrapped.

[Ron Bennington]

You know which one I'm talking about?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's Heavy Metal Parking lot.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, Heavy metal Parking lot. And there's one, there's one dude who's definitely older than all these girls. Just like 15. Just turned 15. But it's like we're having a good time. Nobody cared back in the 80s.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but there was always a older guy that would be hanging out, just trying to put tomatoes on your legs. And the next thing you know, you know, you're thumb it at home with a Greek guy.

[Ron Bennington]

He was Russian. Ivan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ivan.

[Ron Bennington]

We had Greek food. I don't know how he got the Greek food.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Maybe they stopped at a Greek restaurant or a diner on the way home. Yeah. This video is crazy with. Yeah, back in the 80s, age didn't matter at all. No one give the.

[Bobby Kelly]

See, is that.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, all the bands, the mega bands of the 60s, man, they all bang teenagers.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, yeah, there it is right there. Yeah, that girl, right? These guys are so far. And it's so funny because they didn't even know he was gay at this point. Yeah, they were just like. They rule.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you really are right that those bands all had groupies that were like 13.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And 14 years old.

[Ron Bennington]

The good old days.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I mean, but girls, she's. They're 15 right there, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. This. He's not the guy that was hooking up. I think he shows up a little later on.

[Ron Bennington]

That's him right there. Yeah, go back. Go back a little bit. That's him right there. Yeah, this guy. And he talks. I love the way he talks.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not him. This guy. My guy's way cooler. The guy who's with the underage girl.

[Ron Bennington]

Where is he now? It's back. It's back. You went forward.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought he was maybe wearing that kid just had a shirt that he looked like he made himself and said off. He's so cool.

[Ron Bennington]

Look at that. Look at all the hair back then. God damn it. I love that haircut. I could never get it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now here's the thing. This takes place in, like, the mid-80s, and if you see a mid-80s movie, nobody looks like this.

[Ron Bennington]

Nobody. There's one.

[Bobby Kelly]

That guy's way older than everybody.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, that's. That's the one brother that loves Judas Priest back in the day. Look at all these dudes. Love it there.

[Lou]

Do you see there's, like one preppy guy in like, a popped collar polo.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, there they go right there. God damn it. I missed the 80s. I love the 80s. My favorite. Favorite. And then disco came in. Did you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Disco was before the the 80s.

[Ron Bennington]

Disco was the 70s, I think disco came in 70s and early 80s, right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess at the end of early 80s, early 80s. But it was.

[Ron Bennington]

And then it was. Was it like Kulna Gang?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, Kona Gang was switched over. They were a funk band first.

[Ron Bennington]

Right. But then they went disco with. What was that? What was the song they sang?

[Bobby Kelly]

Now, here's the thing about Cooling the Gang. You know the keyboard player, Red, at the Village Underground?

[Ron Bennington]

I don't, but yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you do, because you used to do little bits with him when he would play Red.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, yeah, he played. See, I don't even know that guy. Yeah, I don't know this dude, you know?

[Bobby Kelly]

So you see him as a guy who just, like, brings you up. Ten years he toured with Cooling the Gang all over the world.

[Ron Bennington]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, like 73. See, the thing is, I'll talk to the guys in the band. I'll talk to a server. You know what I mean?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know why you do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because they're human beings.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, but, dude, I like to keep what we do on stage. That's what we do. And then off stage, it's like, hey, man, go do your thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but you're like, all right, I'll talk to a Tell. I'll talk.

[Ron Bennington]

I talk to a towel. You can't talk to a Tell. Who talks to a towel?

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't talk to a Tell.

[Ron Bennington]

No. Who can talk? Hey, what's up? Hey, who? Hey, who. Hey. All right, come on, now. No, I've only had.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you think he was Southern?

[Ron Bennington]

I've only had. I've only had three. Three conversations with the Tell. In my career of being with the Tell.

[Bobby Kelly]

How long have you known?

[Ron Bennington]

Like, 20 years, 30 years I've known to Tell, and it's always like, hey, what's going on? Another one's up. All right. Hey, do you have a bit that. No, I don't. All right, I'm going to go.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have that relationship with him.

[Ron Bennington]

Why? You talk to a Tell? Yeah, I don't. I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't you.

[Ron Bennington]

He's a hard dude to talk to.

[Bobby Kelly]

I never thought of that. I always thought that he was a really, really intelligent guy. I think he's, like, one of the smartest comics that about you. Really?

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. I feel that about you. So maybe I should go hang out with a towel with you. Yeah, maybe that. We should do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'd like to do that with you.

[Ron Bennington]

All right, let's do it tonight.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tonight? I can't.

[Ron Bennington]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

The man doing something. I don't know if you know this. I have to get together with some of the other Beach Boys. What am I saying? Beach men. They're beach men now. They were boys when they came into this. I think he's the last of the Wilsons left. That they're the. The actual original three brothers and their cousin Mike Love. And only Mike Love is left.

[Ron Bennington]

He's the last original Beach Boy. And the drummer is. What's his name?

[Big J Okerson]

John Stamos.

[Ron Bennington]

John Stamos is the drummer.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, I wouldn't say drummer. He plays bongos.

[Ron Bennington]

No, he's amazing drummer.

[Bobby Kelly]

He. He actually plays drums.

[Ron Bennington]

Your kid. You're being silly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

You know that he's probably one of the. He's one of the best drummers out there right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

No one in the world would say that, buddy.

[Ron Bennington]

He filled in. He's actually touring with Led Zeppelin right now. They're bringing Zeppelin back with plan.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're trying to.

[Ron Bennington]

I'm not trying to do anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

But is never doing Zeppelin.

[Ron Bennington]

I know that's such a thing. Yeah, John's. You know, John Stamos is a sick drummer. He drunk. He was the drummer for a long time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought he was playing bongo. It was just like, on this side.

[Ron Bennington]

Like, dude, bring up. Bring up John Stamos playing drums.

[Big J Okerson]

He just did a video for Drumeo. Like, getting ready to play or Beach Boys concert.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, they. He's so good. They were giving him other songs where he was just. All right, hearing it once and then playing it. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

How many ways can this guy get puss.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pretend he's playing a guitar and that. All right. Special needs kids. That's not.

[Ron Bennington]

That's not him playing. Play, play. John Stam was playing the drums. If you had it.

[Lou]

There'S a couple videos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, there he is.

[Ron Bennington]

Go back.

[Lou]

They said he's playing the drums here. Let me get a different one.

[Ron Bennington]

There he is right there. He is. Great.

[Big J Okerson]

Whole house trim wasn't enough.

[Ron Bennington]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Drum.

[Ron Bennington]

Christine's like, please, drum.

[Lou]

Jesus Christ.

[Ron Bennington]

Every video you're bringing up has nobody at the drum.

[Lou]

It's not all, say, John Stamos here. John, drum solo.

[Ron Bennington]

I mean, if Jay was here, he'd be yelling, there you go right there. There he is right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is one of the best drummers out there. I want you to be honest.

[Ron Bennington]

He's one of. That's. He's known for being one of the best drummers out there today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at him.

[Ron Bennington]

He's great. Look at that. He is. He is really good.

[Big J Okerson]

He's a very competent drummer.

[Ron Bennington]

He's very competent. Wow. That's pretty good.

[Big J Okerson]

And with a woman saying, wow off.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't like women.

[Big J Okerson]

Just jealous of him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jealous you look just like him. There's no reason you should be jealous.

[Big J Okerson]

You and him look like it hasn't translated.

[Ron Bennington]

Both drummers.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, again, that hasn't translated either.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's your favorite drummer of all time?

[Ron Bennington]

John Stammers. Are you talking to Jacob?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I apologize.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd have to say Stuart Copeland.

[Ron Bennington]

Wow. Wow. That's pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stuart Copeland. Now you realize that they're not the police didn't stay together because Sting said that he over drummed everything. It'd be. He was just going crazy the entire. He wasn't there to serve the song.

[Ron Bennington]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He's very strong. He's very quick hands. But Sting is like hey man, this is every breath you take. All right?

[Ron Bennington]

Bring it down a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he was like you. You. They despise each other.

[Ron Bennington]

My drum teacher taught his son how to play drums. Just a little quick fun fact.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why. Why wasn't Stuart there for his own kid?

[Ron Bennington]

I don't know. You kids don't learn from you. I don't think maybe doesn't have a time. I.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you want your kid to go into comedy?

[Ron Bennington]

No, I don't. I don't want him to go to comedy. I don't want him to do anything in this business. Yeah, I think he wants to. I think he wants to go into the military.

[Bobby Kelly]

What side?

[Ron Bennington]

Communist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. Socialist. I think he wants to go in the army or something like that. Which I'm happy with. I'd be happy with that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah. Why not? You get a free free meals. Free. Nah. But you get a free education. You get free college when you get out. As long as there's no war. If there's a war. I wouldn't want him to go. If we were going into some horseshit. I wouldn't want him to go. That would suck.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not up to you. Then you gotta go.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, well when I remember. When the Iraq. Remember the first Iraq war?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Ron Bennington]

My real dad and me were talking at the time and he called me up and he was like, hey, he was in Vietnam like you. He was in which side? He was on the. He was on the American side while you weren't on the American side.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not all the time.

[Ron Bennington]

Not all the time. See if you flip flopped.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a kind of a thing where we had to go up the river and I met this kind of fat guy and then he kind of twist this all over on his side.

[Ron Bennington]

Wait a minute. That sounds like a movie that I heard.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that you only listen to music.

[Ron Bennington]

Apocalypse Now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bing. Bing. Bing. So what are you saying? So your. Your real dad had to go fight in Iraq for.

[Ron Bennington]

No, not Iraq. My real dad fought in Vietnam.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Ron Bennington]

But when that was, I was. I was of age. Of age.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And he was like, don't go. If. If they call you, leave the country. Don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was like, easy. Vietnam.

[Ron Bennington]

I don't want to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Easy. Okay.

[Ron Bennington]

I was in art school. I'm not going.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, your dad's going crazy. Well, that's. I saw what I saw over there. You know, the. A guy was saying to me, and he goes, you know, when we came back, because he was very jealous of some of the stuff that. And he goes, when we came back from Vietnam, no parades, you know, nothing.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I go, well, dude, you lost. You didn't see the Patriots have a parade when the eagles mopped the fucking field with them?

[Ron Bennington]

They didn't. There wasn't a parade. Yeah, you're right. I never looked at it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, we gotta fucking have a parade for the winners. Now we're having something 14th. I'm sure you're going down to D.C. for the no Kings Parade, but we're having our first big military parade this Saturday. It's something that Trump wanted. It's Trump's birthday.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he's bringing all the tanks in and stuff, like they used to do in Russia.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

In the mayday parade. And it's like the first big military parade we've ever had.

[Ron Bennington]

Like, is he really doing a madness.

[Big J Okerson]

He's really doing never.

[Ron Bennington]

He's doing a big job.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you know about it?

[Big J Okerson]

I. I know he was trying. He wants. He loves military parades, and we're the one country that should never do that.

[Ron Bennington]

Well, what. So he's going to do like a big German Hitler. Nazi Russ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

Check out all our.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's in the set. It's this Saturday and it's in D.C. there it is. You can get tickets, Bobby. Might be a great thing for you to take your son to.

[Ron Bennington]

So this is a Trump parade kickoff, June 14. Here's how you get.

[Bobby Kelly]

You didn't see them bringing the tanks in on trains?

[Ron Bennington]

No, no, I didn't see those videos. What else are they bringing in on trains?

[Bobby Kelly]

They got different types of cannons and like that.

[Big J Okerson]

North Korea should do stuff like that. When they have those. The North Koreans have the gigantic hats that they wear, the three.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they look at the train coming in. That's all tanks.

[Ron Bennington]

And this is for Trump's parade.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

How do you. How do you not love this? What a lunatic. These are all going in to for the parade. And what's the parade going to be? Just military stuff. And they're just drive by and salute Trump.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's kind of a victory parade. He's calling it, I think.

[Ron Bennington]

For what? What did he win?

[Bobby Kelly]

World War II said that everybody else celebrates for World War II and we don't.

[Ron Bennington]

That's hilarious. You got to love him, dude. You got to fucking love this maniac. Are they going to be the troops going to be slamming their knees down?

[Big J Okerson]

It's the one thing I'm not into. We're not supposed to flaunt it now. We don't do that here.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's crazy. 6,500 troops. 150. 50 aircraft. It's going to be pretty spectacular.

[Ron Bennington]

And this is downtown Washington, D.C. yeah. So is it going to be in front of the White House?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And so he's just going to stand out there on a and wave at everybody. That's going to be hilarious. Go by the no Kings. Thing is they're going to protest it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Well, this is all over the country. That's actually the original name was no Kinks.

[Ron Bennington]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because a lot of people are doing weird.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're like, I'll be honest. Butt stuff.

[Ron Bennington]

Butt stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. A lot of butt stuff was taking place.

[Ron Bennington]

But is that the Gay pride parade or is that the no Kings parade?

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, you can be gay and not do butt stuff.

[Ron Bennington]

I didn't know that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. So there's all kinds of stuff you could do now.

[Ron Bennington]

Like what?

[Bobby Kelly]

I gotta stick to dick? Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I like dick to dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know.

[Ron Bennington]

Dick to dick is good. I like a hot dick to dick. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ever been sitting at the table when Mateo Lane was describing stuff and he goes, he's only a bottom. He goes, he's never a top. And I go, why?

[Ron Bennington]

And he goes, too much pressure in your ass? No.

[Bobby Kelly]

He'll take it, but he doesn't really like the idea of giving it.

[Ron Bennington]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I would be a taker too. It would be. It would be too much pressure. Because what if they don't enjoy it? What if you put it in, they're just looking right at your face, not just not blinking.

[Bobby Kelly]

Have you ever had that situation with a woman?

[Ron Bennington]

I've only had anal sex a few times and it's all been terrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You don't like the feeling?

[Ron Bennington]

No. One time I didn't know it was two times. I didn't know it was in the butt.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you thought.

[Ron Bennington]

I thought it was in the vagina.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's like, too carried away.

[Ron Bennington]

She was like, I love it. In my ass. I'm like, it's in your ass? She's like, yeah, that sounds like a big woman. It was a woman. Yeah, it was a woman. A big one. It was. Yeah, she was an older woman, let's just put it that way.

[Bobby Kelly]

I understand.

[Ron Bennington]

And then the other one was a girl that I was my girlfriend when I was a little boy and I was living with six retarded men. I was. I was there to watch them.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like where this is going.

[Ron Bennington]

I. I lived in the house with them, and I had to watch them five days a week. But on the weekends, I had off so I could do stand up. And they paid me like 100 bucks a week, but I just had to be there from 11 to 8 in the morning, Monday through Friday. And this girl. I used to bring girls over. And I had this girl over one night, Tawny. She was Italian girl. She used to be my girlfriend when we were kids. Met later in life, which is kind of hot because she had big boobies. Nice Italian girl. And we were fooling around in the living room, and then she was like, I want you to. To do it in my butt. And I was like, all right. So I started doing it in her butt. It was really nice. And then I heard, ball. Ball.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's coming out of her ass.

[Ron Bennington]

No, no, no, no. That was coming from there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was so scared.

[Ron Bennington]

So much. Ball.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I was like, oh, it was one of the dudes calling my name. And he was in the bathroom. So I was like, I'll be right back. I gotta go. You know, I'm on duty. So I went in the bathroom, and apparently he had diarrhea and he just shit. And it looked like he spun around in the bathroom because it was just shit everywhere. So I had to. I couldn't help him clean it up because I'll throw up. So I had to direct him from outside of the bathroom how to clean everything up and get into the shower and wash off. And we. It took around 35, 40 minutes to get this done. And then when I went back in, she was still lying there with her legs open. And she's like, you ready? I'm like, I'm done. I just. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did everything.

[Ron Bennington]

Never seen her again. Never seen her again.

[Bobby Kelly]

So it was you and five special needs.

[Ron Bennington]

Six.

[Bobby Kelly]

Six special needs guys.

[Ron Bennington]

Elderly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

They were 50 and up.

[Bobby Kelly]

But if you found out today.

[Ron Bennington]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That you were just one of the special needs guys, like the Matrix Would you know it? Like, would that suddenly make sense?

[Ron Bennington]

I have a very down syndrome face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. So David says, because I know you were 1 in 30.

[Ron Bennington]

I have a mate. I have a long tongue too.

[Bobby Kelly]

One in 30 would be like a special needs move.

[Ron Bennington]

Right. Maybe I was. Maybe I've been retarded this whole time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

I. Well, I lived with those guys for three years.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Ron Bennington]

And they actually became my friends.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sure.

[Ron Bennington]

I used to hang out with them. Like take them out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dream team. Take them out to ball games.

[Ron Bennington]

No, I took them out. We'd go for lunch. I put Barry on the back of my motorcycle and put the helmet on just the top of his head.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh God.

[Ron Bennington]

Because it didn't fit. It didn't fit. It would just go under his chin a little bit. We got to take a break right now. The great Ron Bennington. Thank you so much for coming in. I'm sorry you're having a bad time, Ron. It makes me sad. But I'm. Which we found out. So I have down syndrome. Ron Bennington is here. You can listen to him live, noon to 2 Eastern, right here on Faction Talk 103. The great big J Okerson is in San Diego this weekend, June 12th through the 14th. And then he's in Charlotte, Tacoma, Sacramento. He's doing the the Story wars tonight. I don't know if there's any tickets. I think it's sold out. But go down and say hi anyways. Go to bigj comedy.com and YouTube to shout a special. They them. It's YouTube.com bigjokerson and look at I got one. One show this summer. That's it. Empire Comedy Club in Maine. The 25th and 26th. That's it. That's the only time you're gonna see me all summer long. I take the summer off. So go to Punchup Live Robert Kelly. And we'll be right back with the great Ron Bennington and the mediocre Robert Kelly right after this. Crackle, crackle.

[Christine]

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[Ron Bennington]

How many discounts does USAA auto insurance offer?

[Big J Okerson]

Too many to say.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here.

[Ron Bennington]

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