Lock-In Parties

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Lock-In Parties"
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: May 2, 2025

In this candid and humor-laden episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly delve into the often tumultuous and outrageous world of lock-in parties, massage parlors, and their personal encounters within these environments. The conversation is peppered with anecdotes, comedic reflections, and sharp observations about the intertwining of sex, entertainment, and societal issues such as sex trafficking.

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1. Introduction to Lock-In Parties

The episode kicks off with the hosts setting the stage for a deep dive into the underground culture of lock-in parties. These events, often shrouded in secrecy, involve gatherings where sexual activities are rampant, and boundaries are frequently pushed.

Notable Quote:
"I don't like seeing angry black, loose face going, what's up?"
— Big Jay Oakerson [41:38]

2. Personal Experiences and Anecdotes

A. Early Encounters and Confusions

Robert Kelly recounts his early experiences on the set of a cop show preceding Rescue Me, highlighting the chaotic nature of filming and personal interactions amidst evolving television landscapes.

Notable Quote:
"The first day of shooting was supposed to be in Miami. They made the Jersey Shore look like Miami."
— Robert Kelly [01:45]

B. The Impact of Tragedies on Personal Moments

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the juxtaposition of personal relationships and national tragedies. Bobby shares a harrowing story of sharing a motel room during the September 11 attacks, mistakenly recalling it as Pearl Harbor, which leads to humorous yet poignant exchanges about comfort and vulnerability during crises.

Notable Quote:
"Nothing's worse than being sad and dry dicked."
— Big Jay Oakerson [05:46]

3. The Dark Side of Massage Parlors and Sex Trafficking

A. Evolution of Massage Parlors

The hosts explore the transformation of massage parlors from venues offering "happy endings" to establishments suspected of being fronts for sex trafficking. They lament the shift from youthful, attractive women to predominantly older Asian women, discussing the implications of such changes.

Notable Quote:
"Most of that sex trafficking. I think the places you go to are mostly sex trafficking."
— Big Jay Oakerson [24:32]

B. Surveillance and Law Enforcement

A critical conversation ensues about the presence of FBI surveillance in these establishments. The hosts humorously debate the reality of cameras catching unsuspecting patrons, blending skepticism with comedic fear about their own privacy.

Notable Quote:
"If you have a gun, that would be terrible."
— Big Jay Oakerson [29:55]

4. Ethical Dilemmas and Personal Choices

A. Navigating Consent and Exploitation

Bobby and Jay grapple with the ethical dimensions of their interactions within lock-in parties, questioning the line between consensual sex work and exploitation. They share personal stories where they felt powerless or conflicted about their roles, emphasizing the complexity of consent in such settings.

Notable Quote:
"They know like there's a paper trail to you."
— Robert Kelly [29:17]

B. Authenticity in Sexual Encounters

The hosts express a preference for authentic and genuine sexual experiences over staged or transactional encounters. This sentiment underscores their broader critique of the commodification of sex within entertainment and nightlife industries.

Notable Quote:
"I want things to be real. And I want them to be, you know, like, I like my watches, like I like my. My glasses, like I like anything in my life. I want it to be authentic."
— Robert Kelly [44:49]

5. Social Dynamics and Friendships

A. The Impact of Lock-In Parties on Friendships

Observing friends and acquaintances in the throes of lock-in parties reveals unsettling changes in their behavior. The hosts discuss how such environments can expose and amplify latent tendencies, leading to strained or transformed relationships.

Notable Quote:
"It's a strange thing to see your friends don't like it to see. I don't like seeing your friends get like. You'll see what their rowdiest side is uncomfortable."
— Big Jay Oakerson [41:36]

6. Comedic Interludes and Banter

Throughout the episode, Jay and Bobby intersperse their serious discussions with lighthearted banter and humorous takes on their experiences. This balance maintains the show's trademark blend of comedy and candid conversation, ensuring the content remains engaging and entertaining.

Notable Quote:
"There is no consistency in there. Fuck the Jews. I blew my cousin."
— Robert Kelly [63:16]

7. Reflections and Conclusions

While the conversation remains largely anecdotal and humorous, underlying themes emerge concerning consent, exploitation, and the commodification of sex in modern society. The hosts reflect, albeit humorously, on their own complicity and the broader societal structures that enable such environments.

Notable Quote:
"But you can't. My confidence when I was hot. I mean, I. When I was fat, I had confidence."
— Robert Kelly [05:34]

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Final Thoughts:
In "Lock-In Parties," Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly navigate the murky waters of underground sexual cultures with their characteristic blunt humor and unfiltered honesty. Through personal stories and incisive commentary, they shed light on the complexities of consent, exploitation, and authenticity in environments where boundaries are often blurred. This episode serves as both an entertaining exploration and a subtle critique of the intersections between sex, entertainment, and societal issues.

Transcript

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

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[Big J Okerson]

The wrongs we must right. The fights we must win. The future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are marines. We were made for this. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, yeah, that's the funeral portrait with Dark Thoughts from the album. They like us, so we like them.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love them. They loved us.

[Big J Okerson]

They loved us so much. They're playing in the fishbowl.

[Bobby Kelly]

It came in waves, too. It came to you first, which I was like, oh, I got it. Gloves. Hair.

[Big J Okerson]

Metal band.

[Bobby Kelly]

Metal band. Cool. Okay. And then the other guy came over.

[Big J Okerson]

One guy only knew Bobby Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Well, the other they did. The middle guy came over to me. Who was the actor in Rescue Me.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who I played. I was in the job with Dennis, Larry's first show. Before Rescue Me, he had the job, which was a cop show, which was really funny.

[Big J Okerson]

How heavy were you then?

[Bobby Kelly]

I was gorgeous.

[Big J Okerson]

Gorgeous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then that was. That was Luis.

[Big J Okerson]

Gotcha.

[Bobby Kelly]

I played a Puerto Rican guy named Luis. And we literally. The first day of shooting was supposed to be in Miami. They made the Jersey shore look like Miami. And the planes hit the building. I was in my trailer.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listening to Howard Stern. I mean, flipping out at life because I just booked a Leary show, who I. You know what I mean? Leary was my. I thought that was my. That was my dream. Be on a Leary show. Be with Leary. Boston. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Him and Lenny Clark were best friends. This is gonna be perfect.

[Big J Okerson]

I guess you hate Bill Hicks, huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Now don't. Bill Hicks and Dennis Leary hated each other. That was like a thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, dude, a lot of people didn't like Larry. You know what I mean? I mean, I love him. Geraldo.

[Big J Okerson]

Gerald turned on him, too. That's right. They snapped at him on a tough crowd.

[Bobby Kelly]

Snapped. And then. I mean, but he did have a. I mean, Larry had a point that probably you'd make and Patrice make, where you're writing stuff down. Like, Patrice never wrote anything down.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Geraldo wrote jokes for the show all the time. Sure, he had written jokes. Patrice used to take my written jokes and rip them up. They'd be like, 1, 2, 3, action. And they take my notes and rip them and throw them behind the couch, and I would panic. But, yeah, dude, September 11th. I just heard all this shit go down on Stern, thinking it was a bit. And then I had my trailer open because they had all these hot girls in bikinis working. This was Miami. And I was just like, you know, girls would walk by, and I'd be like, hey, what's up? What's going on? What you good? And they'd be like, hey, any of.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys have an empty?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, one of them walked by.

[Big J Okerson]

You girls have an empty that needs filming?

[Bobby Kelly]

One of the girls walked by. She was smoking, bikini extra. And I stuck my head out, and she was like, what's in there? I'm like, oh, just my trailer, you know? She's like, really? I was like, yeah, yeah. She goes, do you have. I go, yeah, I got my own bathroom, you know, tv, whatever. She came in, hung out a little bit. Then the towers hit.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that. That's just a dungeon.

[Bobby Kelly]

The towers hit. She wound up. He. That dude you met who was a. Was in it. He came into my room, and she.

[Big J Okerson]

Also gorgeous.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was gorgeous. He came in. She came into my room, my trailer, and he came into my trailer, and we all just hung out in my trailer as, you know, young actors at the same age. And good looking. Ooh, good looking Bobby. And. And then they actually go like this. They go, okay, whoever has a car, you can drive back into the city. Everybody else, we're gonna put up in the motel over here across the street.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, oh, Miami.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, we were in Jersey Shore.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

We could literally see the.

[Big J Okerson]

You did see Miami.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they made Jersey Shore look like Miami.

[Big J Okerson]

Understood?

[Bobby Kelly]

You understand?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They put, like, palm trees up. It was the Jersey Shore supposed to.

[Big J Okerson]

Be Miami, and they were suggesting that you drive back to the city into the terrorism. Okay, that was an interesting take on it, guys. Two planes hit the towers. If you guys want to get back to your house in soho, hey, if.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get a Honda Civic or above the highways, that way, everybody else, the motel across the street.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, hit Tribeca. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're here for $50 or less, go to your imminent doom. So go breathe cancer smoke.

[Bobby Kelly]

I walked up to the producer. I was like, buddy, I'm not driving back. Everybody's trying to come here. I'm not driving back to the Terror. And he's like, all right, fine. You have to share a room, then. So that girl, I went over to her, I'm like, we have to share rooms. You want to share room? She goes, yeah. So me and her shared a room. So they paired everybody up, and I got paired with her. Me, her, and him. We went out to dinner that night at some fancy restaurant on the beach, all fucked up.

[Big J Okerson]

You were hoping you were going to see them both naked. Bonus. Bonus. Weenus.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's pretty hot. But I was pretty hot back back then.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You weren't thinking about that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And you can't. My confidence when I was hot. I mean, I. When I was fat, I had confidence. Never mind when I had abs. When I had that V dick ab down there.

[Big J Okerson]

There's nothing worse than having the country's worst terror attack and just having this dry dick. I hate when those two things happen together. Nothing's worse than being sad and dry dicked.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. It was really nuts because we had. We had one bed. We're in this motel, and we just.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you go, oh, man, my girlfriend was in those towers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell, I remember. You're going to get over that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on. I got to. I got to tell this story. What? I got to remember these dates.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Get these timelines, right. I think it was 1987 when this happened. Go on.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, it was 87.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Anyways, Max was four. No, no, no, no, no. I got to chill out for a second, put the brakes on this story. I gotta settle down for a second. You got me all whipped up, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

That handsome guy got you all whipped up? He did.

[Bobby Kelly]

He ratted me out.

[Big J Okerson]

You just started telling the story. I didn't even ask you about the story.

[Bobby Kelly]

We actually. It was weird because I'm sitting there with this smoking hot chick, and we're.

[Big J Okerson]

Both in our 1997 in. It's 1997.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don who?

[Big J Okerson]

And there was no dawn yet. Don wasn't born yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was in California. We weren't. We were living together, but we weren't. Siri. Whoa. What do you do?

[Big J Okerson]

Start filming.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't film this part. Dawn doesn't listen to the show, but she might watch a clip.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Bobby confesses. It's just a big, big bubble letters on the thumbnail.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the first time Lou ever just put the camera in my face, like, what's that, Bobby? But no, we. It was terrible because we were lying there and we were just watching. Who is that?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. I wish it was Christine. Yeah, I wish that was Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

What does talent want to do with this show?

[Big J Okerson]

I just saw hooters and blonde hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

So, dude, we. We see if we get those guys to come in.

[Big J Okerson]

Nah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

They're tired, dude. They're all sweaty from playing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your honesty is fast.

[Big J Okerson]

No, they were great. I saw them perform live.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, listen. So we were lying there in the bed, and I'm doing. I'm definitely want to hook up with this girl, but we're just watching these planes fly to the tower. Just over and over. It was just so sad.

[Big J Okerson]

Would you go. Don't. Don't look at this. And then push your head on the ear wiener.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I flew my plane right into a butt cheeks.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Those twin towers.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, we didn't. We didn't have sex. We didn't have sex.

[Big J Okerson]

Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

We didn't have sex.

[Big J Okerson]

That's good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she was hot though.

[Big J Okerson]

It doesn't matter if you did. It was 1992.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, dude, it was. It was the year the. That was the day that the. You know, you can't have. You know, what are you going to do? But we did comfort each other.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it wasn't September 11th. You were thinking it was Pearl Harbor Day.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was Pearl Harbor.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was Pearl. It was Pearl Harbor, 1942.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, there she is. That's. That's who. Well, well, well, well, well, well.

[Big J Okerson]

Took you a full half hour to walk here. What pace did you walk?

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Nine minutes.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby was just telling us about cheating on Don.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did not cheat on Don. Go ahead, Jason. Do not say that I did not cheat on Don.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. I wouldn't say that if it was true.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. Say that more. Say that one more time.

[Big J Okerson]

I wouldn't say it if it was true.

[Bobby Kelly]

Say it again.

[Jacob]

On the worst day in American history.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shut up, Jacob. You see, everybody deals with things differently. I deal with it by putting cream in a girl's butt and using it like boobs.

[Big J Okerson]

I think me and Kevin Hart got hand job massages that day in Philly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody deals with things differently. It was a sad day, man. It was crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I was very worried. I was just dating Carla. Me and Carla just started dating and I was very worried. Look at me. I'm giving a confession too. And we. I couldn't get a hold of her. I was frantic. Cuz you couldn't get. The cell phones weren't working. So.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love that you're giving a confession standing next to the girl you live with now who you cheated on with her then.

[Big J Okerson]

No, but not during that tragedy?

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

No, I was 15.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

I wasn't her then.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Big J Okerson]

Makes you feel any better? Yeah, no, I was not her. It's not as hot about 11 years later. Eleven years later, I though I gave her the old bajoops. I gave her the old big bone floppy hoppy, the old skip Skip. You were the old.

[Bobby Kelly]

The old Pepe Le Pew. Jake.

[Big J Okerson]

What are they hate eating. But how do they feel about this?

[Jacob]

Pretty much the same.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah. Good thing we don't read the emails.

[Bobby Kelly]

September 11th, you got hand jobs. You went to an Asian massage pilot place.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it was the place we went to get hand. I don't know if we finished because me and. It was me and Kevin. You played finish because we played basketball that day? No, we walked into this place, I believe it was September 11th, and right away there was or another was a very unattractive lady who answered the door. And me and Kevin walked in and they brought out one other girl who was very pretty. And I was just like, yeah, yeah, great. And then Kevin goes, wait, is there, is there anyone else or is it just you? And it was just her, this older lady. And that was when they put us in different rooms. And eventually that was the first one I ever went to that had the table shower.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I love that.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if I ever went to another one again that had that. I also talk about these times. There was way more than there was like, I was like, oh, my long history of massage, I've probably gone under 10 times in my life.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the key to finding out. People like, how do you know if they're going to mass give you a hand job if they have table shower?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not. In massage school.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not sanitary.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're not supposed to wash your asshole.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's not sanitary at all. But me and Kevin were in opposite, like facing each other rooms, which is a curtain like shower rooms. And then I heard Kevin just go in the other room. He's like, he's like too hot. No, it's too hot. And like she's pouring. The water was too hot. She was pouring on it. And then he eventually he just got mad and was standing in between the thing and I remember getting up. I think we just had to leave because he was like so upset that this lady was ugly and burned him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that where he got the idea for his gay talk show where he jumps in an ice bath with somebody? It's very possible we do the opposite.

[Big J Okerson]

Sit in an ice bath and talk. What a crazy idea. God damn. He's so in the fitness, that Kevin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But yeah, he ended up yelling at this old Asian lady for burning him with water and then we left.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, because they usually. Not that I go a lot, but I have in the past. They usually will. You know, they have this Shao one in a bucket of water, which is disgusting. And they pick it up and they spray it to get it hot or warm. And then they'll put it on your back of your legs. It's okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. This was like a bowl. They were just dicking in, dipping into a trash can. Into a trash can of hot water. And they would just scoop it onto your body.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you do it old school.

[Big J Okerson]

And then she would get a bar of soap and rub it between her hands and just like fucking envelope your ass crack.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're talking. When they just had the bucket of hot water.

[Big J Okerson]

Just a bucket of hot water.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they would ladle. It was a ladle.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but it was. This was a bowl. She was just going with a bowl and bow it onto our backs and ass cracks. And then she would. Said she would clean our. Your ball bag.

[Bobby Kelly]

She used the same bowl she had a fish and rice in.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Sufficient, right? Yeah. The bottom of. It's just the stuff that's boiling. Onion.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. The.

[Big J Okerson]

That was a one off place. That wasn't 15th in Calahill. Don't ever speak ill of that place.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that place?

[Big J Okerson]

Fifteen in Kelahill.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Can't even be there anymore. We only knew the address. But you knock on this door, you go up. Keith Robinson taught us early that you go. They go. $125. They weren't even. That wasn't even around with like afterwards you pay. This $125 was an okay massage and sex full on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And gorgeous girls need walk up. And they'd keep in mind. This is when I was young enough to not realize that I was being a very strong step in the ladder of human trafficking. I didn't know that I was 19, but I now know that.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do you think they got here?

[Big J Okerson]

Didn't even think about it until I think the last time we ever went, a door kicked. I was in the green room watching Todd Barry's half hour special on Comedy Central, waiting my turn. And a door opened and I saw all of the mattresses on the floor with the girls just kind of sitting in Dean style watching like a tv, like where they just. I was like, oh, God, that's terrible. I'M gonna finish this one time. I'm gonna finish this time. I'm here. And it would be rude to leave. And then that's probably it for me. And I think it was.

[Jacob]

You have to forgive yourself.

[Big J Okerson]

I had to. I didn't know. I was a kid. I was a kid. But anyway, those slaves would come out and stand in a. In a line smiling, but apparently against their will. And they would give you. They had a variety of the tiny little glass bottle sodas. Remember those sons of bitches? In fact, Christine put that on our shopping list.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

The tiny glass bottles of like ginger ale? Oh, yeah, you can get Coke. Diet Coke. They were just like this big, but they were glass.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what they put in your ass.

[Big J Okerson]

They would put that up my ass? No, you'd have that while you wait for your turn. And they'd bring out the girls and you'd pick a girl and then go back. Yeah, that place was just.

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to go.

[Big J Okerson]

That was one of the places where many times my friend Glenn and I, but Glenn more so would tell them. He would offer to take them away from all of this. We didn't even know what all this was. He would just say, let me. This is not the world for you. You shouldn't be involved in pro. You're too beautiful and perfect for that. And they'd be like, thank you, bye.

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to go.

[Big J Okerson]

They're three words. They know. Flip over.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Jacob]

I consider myself Japanese at this point.

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to go when they had regular girls. Like, it wasn't. Now it's pretty much all because of the Internet. The. You don't have to do that anymore. These. You know. But when I used to go when to the place called the Old English Health Club in Cambridge. It was the Old English Health Club in Cambridge. Cambridge.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want to get to place called Old English anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hello.

[Big J Okerson]

You want your tar Just smacked.

[Bobby Kelly]

I took Billy Burr there for the first time. He's never been to a place really. But they had regular girls. Like, they had like brunettes and Puerto Ricans and blondes and. I mean smokers, like really pretty girls.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you'd go down and you'd give your name to the lady at the front desk and she would give you a receipt and you'd go put a robe on paperwork.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You have a little receipt and you get a robe on and your name was on it. And you get coffee or whatever you wanted and you'd sit in a room and they had TV and magazines and newspapers. And then as soon as a girl would come in, if you liked her, you'd give her your receipt. You know what I mean? But the problem is a lot of the guys would want the same, like, you know, smoking hot brunette would come in, followed by a redhead with a dead tooth. So you'd be like, everybody run over to the brunette.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course.

[Bobby Kelly]

But did you just punch your phone to make it stop? Like it's the 80s? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

What's wrong? Someone blow up your phone? You had to leave it off the hook.

[Bobby Kelly]

It stopped, didn't it? We. So, yeah, I brought Billy Burr there. He was heading back. He was just moved to New York. And I was like, dude, come here. First.

[Big J Okerson]

First things first. First things before you make any kind of a crazy move.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. I think it was 100 bucks. Then you negotiated in the room with the girl.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I had this smoking brunette. And you go in and she'd be like, what do you want? And, you know, you'd be like. And I remember one time I saw this lady walking by with a strap on dildo. I was like, where's she going? She goes, oh, this guy down the. He likes to. He likes to get in the ass.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I don't like that kind of disclosure. What's going on? You don't tell people you're doing that room. Don't worry about that. Worry about what's going on in your room. You, the toy goes, oh, yeah. This guy Tom down the hall likes to get in the ass by a thing. I think he's a CEO at Goldman Sachs.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, it was a dick move, but.

[Big J Okerson]

Dick move. Hey, what's the strap one about? Oh, let me tell you everything about this guy's privacy that he paid for.

[Bobby Kelly]

But Billy went in and he got.

[Big J Okerson]

His girl strap on. No, you heard it here first, dude. Bill Burr went to one hooker and got strap on down the hall.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not true.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not a ginger kid who wants to get butt down the hall. I don't know, but I'm gonna do whatever he wants. He seems pretty serious.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll just hear down the dude. What the. Dude, it hurts. Stop, you asshole. Stop it. Yeah, he.

[Big J Okerson]

That brunette ass fucking him is what drove him to black women. A lot of people say that's the origin story.

[Bobby Kelly]

He went. He. He came out of there. I've never seen Billy Burr more relaxed than when he walked out of that place. He got on the bus, he was just like, hey, man, I'll see you later. He called me later. He goes, it was the best bus ride back to New York I've ever taken.

[Big J Okerson]

I bet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, it was such a great.

[Big J Okerson]

He was just floating, like when. When Pepe Le Pew, like, smells pie or something, and he just flies through the air through his nose.

[Bobby Kelly]

I missed. I missed the days when you could go in and it was a variety of girls.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I know. It's like these prostitutes. Shitty now. What the fuck?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if they were prostitutes.

[Jacob]

Sex slaves are generally the hottest. Like, the ones. The willing ones.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? Because. Exactly. Because you take the ones everybody wants. You're not asking them to volunteer. Good call, Jacob.

[Jacob]

I'm just saying whoever picks them.

[Bobby Kelly]

I disagree. The sex has an eye now. It's like you go in for if you like. I don't go in. But if you do go in. So you've heard it's a lot of older Asian women. Yeah. You don't want to. And then in the heat. Older. In the heat of the battle, you might grab a old Asian boob, little saggy boob, and it's pretty much all nipple.

[Big J Okerson]

I love the video. There is actual, like, YouTube video. Not YouTube. Like porn videos. And there's a lot of fake ones, obviously, but there's real, like, just camera inside the massage booth thing. And just the guy just stand there stoically while he gets whacked off. And you can tell right when he's getting ready to fucking pop off, he just, like, grabs a butt or a tit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I talked to my cop friend, Rob the cop from my cigar lounge.

[Big J Okerson]

You tell you where to get all the good prostitutes?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there's a massage place underneath the cigar lounge.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

So if you go to my cigar lounge.

[Big J Okerson]

So you've heard.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know it's there. I know it's there. But what's it cost? I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know why they do it for free for you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never been.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that part of the cigar lounge? No.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh, that would be awesome. If the Scar lounge came with prostitutes. Bobby, I will start smoking cigars.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the thing. I never been. Because I don't want to be embarrassed when coming out. Because when you come out, there's no. The windows are right onto the street.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, then, Bobby, just come in. Yeah, Jacob, I'm gonna come over there and give you an arm slap if you don't laugh at that one. Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

But yeah, it's below the cigar lounge. What was I saying?

[Big J Okerson]

You were trying. You got confused because I called out that you've probably Been down there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never been down there.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm telling you right now, I got.

[Big J Okerson]

You back on track.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never been down there.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I would be too embarrassed to go there and be caught going there. I would. Never mind who by. Any of the dudes. Those guys go, nah, I don't want to be. I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

They have all nicknames down there, like, oh, that's the captain.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my thought was this. Rob told me, this is another reason why I don't go to these things anymore. I do not go. He said there's cameras in most of them. The FBI puts cameras in a lot of these places. He goes downstairs, there's 100% cameras. They don't bust it all the time. If it's ever going to get busted. I find out, because he was one of the head detectives, and he would tell the older guys that do go there, don't go for the next week or so, because they're going to go in there and the FBI is going to be busting it. But they have cameras in all them. Look up.

[Big J Okerson]

I would say, I'm not going. Don't tell me to look up.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? Look up.

[Big J Okerson]

Because he goes, look up. Next time you go. If there was a camera in the room, you'd get my face fully. Because all I would see the camera is. I would just start doing this with covering my wiener. So I'm like, please don't look at my wiener. Don't look at her small fist movements and the camera's there. I'd be like this. You get my face full cheese just looking at the camera while I'm trying to protect my wiener from it. Don't look at my wiener. There's no. Just know Big J Okerson's getting whacked off by a sex slave. But don't look at my wiener.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

What is Robert Kraft right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude. Every piece of shit from Boston.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just scared the shit out of me. I thought it said Robert Kelly. I just. I literally. My asshole just sunk.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't know that you were caught in a major.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not even kidding. I can't even breathe right now. I thought it said Robert Kelly. Case reveals how police can I if they have video footage of me. Yeah. I have to quit this show. And I apologize for calling you a sissy gay theater boy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, there is one. There is one. That's why your joke used to kill me so much, Bobby. There is one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Prostitution moment that I. That's the one where I was like, oh my God, I hope. And I think it was the prettiest girl. She told me the flip over for the massage. She walked on my back, tiny. She was so pretty. And then put her hands under my, like, hips while I was laying down to get me up, face down, ass up, and started doing like licking my ball bag from behind.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then it felt fantastic. And then I looked over at the full mirrors everywhere. And we just realized I'm on all fours while this little girl's face is buried in my butt cheeks. And I was like, I'm just gonna flip over. I'm like, it's not like that anymore. I don't like that. I mean, I loved it, but I was like, how can you respect a guy after you see him like that?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I would have made faces to myself.

[Big J Okerson]

I've thought about the one position when me and Christine have hooked up with girls that always wigs me out at all is if I'm going down on the girl and Christine has gotten behind me and I'm just like, oh my God, what is she seeing? Just my asshole in my back, in my face. It's gotta be the worst feeling.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just look back at Christine's giggling, texting Rebecca.

[Big J Okerson]

She doesn't know what to do. She knocked my wiener around. She has no idea what to do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now. Let me ask you a question. These massage parlors, are they. Is it sex trafficking or is it a job choice?

[Big J Okerson]

What, like arrows?

[Bobby Kelly]

Not arrows. I'm talking about like when you go to a massage place and it's a bunch of older, older Asian ladies and they're giving massages and at the end they'll give you a little hand job or whatever. Happy ending, right? Is it, Is that sex trafficking?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I think most of that sex trafficking. I think the places you go to are mostly sex trafficking. I think most come to your room or house. Prostitutes are independent at this point.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it's the other way.

[Big J Okerson]

And then there's probably still some pimps who have learned how to like control that. But like, it's not. No, I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think the older the. Because most massage places.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, the girls lived there since she was 12 years old at the whorehouse.

[Bobby Kelly]

Most massage places right now, they used to be hot girls. They used to be in evening gowns and all that stuff, and. But now it's just older, middle aged Asian woman that.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, now they don't send them over here to fuck round eyes. They keep them there to make iPhones. So that's why. So At a certain point, that's your choice. You can make iPhones. You could whack off Bobby Kelly and Robert Kraft.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, I don't do it anymore.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. You know, there's Robert Kraft.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Neither Robert Kraft.

[Bobby Kelly]

And yeah, I don't. I don't do it anymore. Because as soon as they found out there's cameras, they film everything.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's when you stopped.

[Bobby Kelly]

I swear, I swear to God, I don't. What.

[Jacob]

What are they waiting for then?

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Jacob]

Okay, so the FBI's always has cameras on these places. What. What is the.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're probably waiting for.

[Big J Okerson]

Why are you getting so scared, Jacob? Hey, do they have the cameras? Do you think they have them somewhere between 14th and 21st Street.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Maybe just for someone they can take down to go in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob wouldn't be able to get a massage. Could be too cold.

[Big J Okerson]

He'd love that hot water. Let it rain on my back.

[Jacob]

I don't understand what they're waiting for.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're waiting to get whoever they want to get. You know what I mean? They got craft that's great. They can use.

[Big J Okerson]

There's no big deal in picking up some. There's no big deal jerk off who like works at a teller at a bank going to get jacked off or fuck. Doesn't matter to them that much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they're probably waiting for somebody of importance to walk in there and go, wait a minute. That's the mayor, Elliot Spitzer. You know what I mean? Or that's the chief of police or Elliot Spitz. Whoever the it is, somebody.

[Jacob]

Yeah, or how do they get these cameras in there?

[Bobby Kelly]

But sometimes maybe you remember Elliot Spitzer?

[Big J Okerson]

I said Elliot Spitzer.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I said Elliot Spitzer. I was talking about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I said it too.

[Big J Okerson]

Client number nine, Elliot Spitzer.

[Jacob]

The workers aren't aware that. What, the FBI just goes in? No, I like plumbers.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a good question. I think they're aware. I don't think they have a choice. Think they the FBI puts the cameras in there and they'll shut them down? I think. I think they just get the footage. I don't know. He told me last. He told me a couple weeks ago. No, a couple months ago I was upstairs and one of the guys, older guys, was gonna go down. He's like, don't they. They got cameras. I was like, they have cameras. Is it. Yeah, the FBI puts cameras in there all the time. Cameras running. Yeah.

[Jacob]

How about when I know your sex traffic. You're a sex. Sex trafficked. Worker here, but just keep doing what you're doing.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a weird thing because I think when they were hot young girls and you'd go in, it was, it was like, okay, but these are like older women that work there. It's like mature Asian women.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I want to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, yeah, if they're older, they want to.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Tiger lived here a long time. It's the only life they've ever known.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, let me ask you a question.

[Big J Okerson]

So I prefer to sleep in room with a bunch of other girl on small mattress.

[Bobby Kelly]

So what you're saying is. So here's the business model. We get them when they're young and then we just, we work them until they die.

[Big J Okerson]

Think of how good they are at hand jobs right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think they get in there, they're a black belt.

[Big J Okerson]

A lifetime of hand jobs, dude. They know what they're doing. They'll finish it quick. They could finish you off while they're cooking food. With the other hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what, they really know how to, you know, the back and then the legs and then the tickle.

[Big J Okerson]

Tickle and then long, long time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I haven't gone in a while too. What are you laughing at?

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

It seems like you go every week.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I can't. I can't. I would have to. I would have to. I don't know how to get the money because I have to. I asked dawn for money.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, this thing like that was. That Elliot Spitzer thing was always funny. That's what made me we. And Christina had a friend who told us that she used to like do be a high end escort and you know, I used to drive, I used to drive escorts to houses for that job. Protection of prostitute. And they. And yeah, so they.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were a pimp?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I mean just protection. It wasn't my company at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were pimp protection.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know how to find these people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Prostitute pimp protection.

[Big J Okerson]

I protected the pimp's product for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

There you go.

[Big J Okerson]

But I didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you were a protection of pimp product. You're a ppp.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but I was like, my protection was like handed somebody a fucking a gun that doesn't work. It was. I realized quickly, I'm like, oh, this isn't just about looking at pussy with everybody. Except I don't have to pay for it. I have to stop them from raping this girl, you know?

[Bobby Kelly]

Gun. What are you going to do?

[Big J Okerson]

It depends on the situation. When it was all Black, just chummy up to the guy who paid the guy whose credit card they have. You can keep reminding him. It's like, yo, dude, they have. Like there's a paper trail to you. You know, I mean, that's the best you could do? No, I'm not going to win against 15 fucking guys no matter what. If I had a gun, that would be terrible.

[Jacob]

I feel like, what a weak pimp.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, thanks. Sorry. Jacob, my apologies.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are, you were. It was really shitty production, but this girl. What are you gonna do if they attack me? I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna remind him that we have your credit card information.

[Big J Okerson]

Your credit card on file.

[Bobby Kelly]

Excuse me one second. Before you force another dick into her mouth. We have your credit card.

[Big J Okerson]

I've got one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or hey, excuse me, guys, real quick. I know you guys are totally raving this girl. I have your amex.

[Big J Okerson]

And guys, I hate to interrupt a good gang rape and I know this is someone's initiation and my apologies, but no, but when I did that, I'm.

[Bobby Kelly]

Going to be in the Saturn out front. You guys want to rethink this?

[Big J Okerson]

I did drive a lot of them in the Saturn.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know you did.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but yeah, so I would drive those girls. What the fucking was the point? I was. Oh, the girl was telling me that she was a high end prostitute as a friend me and Christine had. And the first time I pressed her on that, her story fell apart. So I don't think she was. She may have probably never been a prostitute at all. I think this is a girl who got money. She got fucked for money once like in high school or something. And consider. I don't know because when she told me my first thing, when she told me that was like, I used to work in that. That's a crazy, dangerous, like scary world. Like going to someone's room, prostitute escorting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're saying that like we would disagree with you.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I said that to her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you said that to her? I thought you were saying that to me. I was like, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I said to her on a way long ago Lost skanks episode.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Big J Okerson]

And she was like. And she was like, no. She's like, no, I'm very, very safe about it. Because she all said there was no agency, no person in her corner, no one, no boss, no nothing. I'm like, well, what would you do? Like, how's it so safe? She goes, first thing I asked them for, ask them where they work. Or I said, I go. She goes, I do a very big screening Process. And I go, for prostitution. I go, tell me your screening process and I'll tell you where anyone would check out of this process. And she goes, first I call you and I ask you for your full name. And I go, I'm out. Then everyone's out. Everyone else, like, Dave and Lewis both were like, I'm out, I'm out. I was like, of course. But then it was beyond. It was like. And then I asked for a picture of their id. And then I call and then I asked where they work, and I call their job when they're not there and just ask if they work there. Which, by the way, you could just give a name of anybody. None of these things made sense for what you would do, and they were just all fucking made up. But trying to explain, like, she was like, why was high. I was high price. Which when she gave the price, she said, 450 bucks. And I'm like, that's not high priced. It's not the lowest price, but it's. If you pay 450, you're like, this girl might at least be attractive, like a new drug problem. She is 450. Thinking that's high price is crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But she goes, I was bet 450 bucks. And I was like, that's not high price. And it's also, like, I said, the higher price you go, also, the more you pay is, the more what you're paying for is the anonymity. They're not gonna tell you where they work. And that was the reason. That's why Elliot Spitzer, that documentary is called Client Number Nine because she didn't know she was fucking a senator. They don't come in. It's like, senator, you know, whatever Governor, was he Senator? No, wrong show. Is this the wrong show for politics? Elliot Spitzer, whatever the thing was with.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's running for, I think, mayor, Right? He's running for mayor, sure. Yeah, I'd vote for him.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Hell, yeah. Open them, prostitute.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, we got to vote for Corinne, but.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would definitely vote for.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't vote for.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

No, it's other one. That's a Cuomo. Oh, what, what's his name?

[Big J Okerson]

Andrew Cuomo. Yeah. Right. He was just. No, I think he was just molesting people in his.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think Spitzer. I think he's running, too. He wants to run. I'm pretty sure he's running. Maybe or he wants to. I don't know if he's going to, but I think he wants to.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure. And I think the World's kind of over now. But he was called client number nine because that girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Didn't know she was fucked. That's what you're paying for. You're paying that anonymously. You can go in there and she's not going to be like, now I hold over your head that I just got paid to fuck. You know, a senator, what was it?

[Jacob]

Governor.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Governor.

[Big J Okerson]

Governor.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, he's going for governor.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, he was the governor. The best things in life come when you don't settle. That's why switching to Metro is a great choice. Because at Metro you don't just get great deals, you get even more of what you love. You shouldn't have to put up with the yadda yadda you find with other carriers. Things like hidden fees, contracts and underwhelming deals. That's why at Metro you can get great deals on 5G devices from top brands like Samsung. With no contracts, no credit checks, no exploding bills and nada, yada yada. That's wireless without the gotcha. With more 5G phones to choose from and incredible deals, you'll never feel like you're accepting less than what you deserve. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store and learn about their amazing deals. Go to metrobyt mobile.com stores to find a location near you.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

Emotionally?

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine, no, you can't do that. I mean, we've all paid.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I mean, dude, the ultimate price.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we've all paid the amount. I had to ask Don to make me a sandwich today. You think I'd ask you to fucking build me another house?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, not. Whatever that. The first time. The first time ever was when I got hosed out of all my money.

[Bobby Kelly]

How much?

[Big J Okerson]

When I went to the truck stop, it was 200 bucks. But oh no, that's so. Yeah, that wasn't the most, I think, because. I know, but like, I think I've never paid over 250 bucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never paid over 200 bucks around there too. But I think we're we're savvy with the sex industry too. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I was not when I did this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I remember Norton would pay so much money.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

For that anonymity, you know, and plus for the things he would like, he would have to pay a premium.

[Big J Okerson]

Why does that girl have a strap on dildo? Jim, Norton's down the hall.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not strap on. It doesn't come off.

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta build.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why is that girl walking with a dong?

[Big J Okerson]

So, yeah, why is that fat dick lady walking down the hall?

[Bobby Kelly]

He would always tip them, actually, very well.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, four.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he would tell me, that's four. Keep your mouth shut. If you keep them. If you tip them better, they'll. They're actually treat you nicer and treat you like a better client. But I never gave.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want to be a client.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't like. I didn't. I liked massage parlors when I did do it. And I. I didn't never like prostitutes because it was always. They made you feel like transaction a piece of shit.

[Big J Okerson]

They do the guy, when the guy fucked up at Caroline's, the guy who ran the strip club across the street, and the bartender came, I was friendly with them and they fucked up. Actually, the strippers they brought up at a Brian Regan show, I did. And the next time I was walking around, the guy was like, hey, swing by when you would. So I came by when I was in the city one day and he goes, he goes, hey, man, I owe you big, dude. He goes, you know that girl that. Blah, blah, like, she's gonna take you in the back, take care of it. I was like, all right. And I went in the back room and she went. And she blew me. And then he told me. He goes, he goes, don't worry about it. I was like. He told her before, I guess in her ear. He was like, just take care of him. I'll take care of you later. You know, I mean, like, I'll pay you for it later. Just like, go take care of him is what he guess he told. Because she came in and she did. She did it and I was done. I was like, that was awesome. And I'm broke. I'm a fucking kid, you know, I 22. I give her. I give her like 20, 30 bucks, something like that. I was just like, extra. I'm like, here you go. Thank you so much. And she was like. She goes, what's this? She goes, I don't fucking suck dick for 30 bucks. You think I just suck dick for 30 bucks? And I went, no, no, I forget his name was like John said that. And she goes, oh, right, right, right, right. She goes, did you have a good time, baby? Like to turn on? I was like, wow. I go, you just got mad at me. I go, that was the worst feeling ever. I'm like, I'm leaving.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was terrifying, that story. You scared me.

[Big J Okerson]

She snapped. I suck dick for 30 bucks. No, no, no, I don't. I don't know what you suck dick for, miss. I go, I was just giving you extra. I thought he said it was taken care of.

[Bobby Kelly]

Funny. Jay had no money, so he had a suck dick. He had a suck dick for the rest of the night for her.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah, with a hair net on. Like I'm doing dishes at a diner. Let me put on my. I think you worked off that tuna, Mel.

[Bobby Kelly]

You actually.

[Big J Okerson]

That was a Pee's Big Adventure reference.

[Bobby Kelly]

You actually got yourself a new job.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey now I'm doing pretty good for myself. Working about back suck fuck place.

[Bobby Kelly]

I never liked bachelor parties. I never liked when you had these big parties where they get prostitutes. And then you'd see. I just didn't like should we all be in a room? And they'd have a prostitute. And then I didn't like seeing like a guy like Jacob who I knew, I thought I knew who he was. But then when there's prostitutes, they become different people.

[Big J Okerson]

That's. It's a strange thing to see. Your friends don't like it to see. I don't like seeing your friends get like. You'll see what their rowdiest side is uncomfortable.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can see the evil turn in them and they, their horns grow.

[Big J Okerson]

And the little guy who doesn't do drugs very often and all of a sudden is like we're doing coke.

[Bobby Kelly]

And yeah, he's actually sitting on a like a coffee table on his tippy toes with his back hunched over balancing on some girl's face. He's like, yeah, it's like, I don't, I.

[Big J Okerson]

It is weird. You don't want to see like that other side of people to cut loose.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I don't want to see angry black, loose face going, what's up?

[Big J Okerson]

Did you ever see Black Lou? Black Lou? Were you ever invited to a black stripper slash prostitute lock in party? Not at all. What is that? What is it? Good way to fake that what it is. That was a fantastic. Set you up perfectly for that. He doesn't even know. What is it, Christine? Look up on porn websites, buddy. This is prostitutes varying from ugly to okay. Hairy pussies, beat up snatches and just they lock in at a place, they get a big haul and they lock it and the girls just dance and the guys for money. And then some of them line up and they're just getting gang banged by guys coming over, just pulling their dicks out of their pants a little bit and just them come go next guy. Let's see.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no, I'm not. Don't go to porno. Go to. Go to lobster tube. You'll find it there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I say something? I did like. I do like the ones where the strippers go to the bachelorette parties. The real ones, they seem real. Not the fake ones where, you know, but the ones where they have like some aunt just sitting there with a blouse on with big tits and then the guy walks over with a towel and whipped cream and she's like, fuck it and just starts giving the best blow job.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't type.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like those.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't type in, lock in. That's just what they're called in life. Just call it a black stripper.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know those, those are actually party sexy to me when I think it's a real situation. But I like it when the guy is the stripper and the girls are just regular aunts and sisters and you know, it looks like a real party and the girls look. I don't like when it's all smoking hot girls because I know that's fake. I like when it's like milfy weird aunts. Yeah, yeah. And then they have like a hot chick and then it's just one of the girls is like it. And then that turns me on. But I do, I don't like this, this stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

Have you seen Desperate Amateurs?

[Bobby Kelly]

What is that?

[Big J Okerson]

Desperate Amateurs is one of my favorite. It's just broke people in the Midwest who want to fuck on camera damage and all. It's great. It's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if I like that. I don't know if I. I might not explain myself right. I like the bat. I like when it's a. I like it when the women are in control of the dirtiness. Does that make sense? Yeah. When it's. I don't like it when the guys like. It's just a girl with a bunch of dudes. That's just creepy to me. But when it's. The women are just hanging out having a party and these strippers come along with their big dongs and a towel and these girls, you could see them go, oh, you know What? Fuck it. I haven't had a. My husband sucks. I haven't had a big dink. You know, I would even if I saw Don in one of these, they'd be like, good for you, girl. You know what I mean? Good for you, honey. You deserve that big dong. I like those. I don't know why Patrice got me into those. I like that. I like real stuff.

[Jacob]

I can't watch fake.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like fake. As soon as I know it's fake, I'm done. You know, as soon as I watch a girl giving a. I like a girl giving a mediocre blowjob because she doesn't give head all the time. I don't know why that turns me on. Like some regular, you know, secretary sucking a big. In front of her friend and her friend just going, oh, my God, Kathy. Yeah. I wanted. I want. That's what I want. You're right, Jacob. I want. I want things to be real. And I want them to be, you know, like, I like my watches, like I like my. My glasses, like I like anything in my life. I want it to be authentic. I'd rather wait. You know what I mean?

[Jacob]

I don't want to like your style.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you, buddy.

[Jacob]

I appreciate your watches. You like. You'll. You'll like a 10 grand watch and a 300. You see the.

[Bobby Kelly]

The good in it if it's authentic.

[Jacob]

Exactly.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. I mean, what the Crazy. How long do we have to vampire.

[Big J Okerson]

Continue to vamp.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, with vamping anyway, Bobby, if.

[Big J Okerson]

You'Re gonna direct your own porn movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what it would be. Please. I'll tell you right now. Do you want to hear it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Well, there's two. One. I can't tell you. I do. I like. It would be. Okay. Here we go.

[Jacob]

September 11th.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not.

[Big J Okerson]

And by. This girl's just cleaning up her Jersey Shore.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I would not. Let's just go. I'm sorry I mentioned that it. Would 100 be where I would have to. I'm not in it. Or am I in it?

[Big J Okerson]

You're in it.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, I'm in it. It would have to be where I'm with a friend of mine's wife. Okay. And we wind up getting stuck somewhere. We have to share a hotel room. So we're in the. It's like. All right. Yeah. We get one room, one bed. I'll sleep on the floor. Don't be silly. Sleep up here with me. It's fine. Are you sure? Okay. And she's like, look, I have to sleep in my underwear if that's gonna. But we'll put the pillows. Okay, cool. I just don't want to. I don't want to offend anybody. And then we go to sleep. But in the middle of the night, I wake up and took that pussy. No, no, see, that's where we differ.

[Big J Okerson]

We take a pussy in my life.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You have never Once.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. Christine took this dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

But no. So then it's. It's like one of her boobs is hanging out. And I'm just looking at it and I. And I start to fill up, but then she rolls over. And then like her. One of her lips is hanging out of the back of her underwear. And I'm like, oh, God. Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Deb.

[Bobby Kelly]

Chuck. And then I'm kind of like, you know, doing myself. And then that when her hands kind of hits my thing and she feels it, and then she starts just slowly touching it. You know what I mean?

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then she grabs it and like puts it, places it on her and just rubs it on it till it gets wet. And then I. I'm like, we shouldn't. And she's like, I know. And then that's what she puts it in. And I. You know what I mean? And then she just rolls. She like leans back and we just start making out sideways. And then we just go at it for the rest of the night.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you doing ASMR sex for me? For the people listening? And then.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then I exploded inside of her. That's what I. I mean, just the build up to that where she goes, we shouldn't do this. And she goes, I know. And then she just pushes it and I. And the whole thing, you feel the shaft goes in and you feel the seal breaking as. You know what I mean? As my dry penis goes up into her thing, it just breaks the seal. And then it gets up to the end of where I can.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, stop nodding your head, acknowledging. I know what you mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did we vamp enough?

[Big J Okerson]

You vamped plenty. You've over vamped. I think you just got sunk into that story.

[Jacob]

I was captivated.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's a good story.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. I like kissing in my porn.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I feel like when they make out, it's a real scenario, Right? If they're making out, you can tell when people are making out. They're into the sex that makes it for me. And I like talking. I like a build up.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? This is what I like. This is 4 or somewhere between 4 to 10 broke down strippers getting gang banged by 3 to 400 plus guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hate it.

[Big J Okerson]

Go ahead, Christine, give them that stop on there. That girl looks like she's got kids in a problem all the way on the top left.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like it.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

That one's not playing.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

For some reason.

[Big J Okerson]

I know what.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

I have this one queued up, which is playing. I'm trying to get the other one to play now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to see that.

[Big J Okerson]

What? This is New York City lock in party, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is this?

[Big J Okerson]

New York City lock in party. So look, some strippers just be stripping.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Can I tell you something?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I went to one of these.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna tell you this right now. Me, Maceo and D.C. benny.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maceo. After a show, did you guys feel.

[Big J Okerson]

Like you were the ones we're gonna have to get when you went to this thing because there's no white people these, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was one white, old white guy at this thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

We went to one of these. It was in a coach. Huh? I'm telling you, we walked into this place and there was girls all over the place. There was stripper, the bartender, all this stuff. We walked in, there was a. A white guy, old white guy by the bar. I'm waiting by the bar to get a drink. I'm kind of looking at the girl on the stage stripping, and guys are going up, doing stuff to her and I'm like, this is wild, like, fingering.

[Big J Okerson]

All black guys, whatever they want.

[Bobby Kelly]

All black guys, black strippers, and this one white guy. And I look at the white guy and he's smiling and the stripper he's with is just jerking him off through. Over his pants. He's got a heart on. And he's just smiling at me be like, what's up, man? And I'm like, oh my God. I order a cranberry juice from the bartender. She was getting, I think, fisted okay. By another guy.

[Big J Okerson]

It's gonna be a sloppy pour, just so you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, she was like, baby, give me one minute, baby. And I was like, okay. Then I went over to sit down and they just come over to you and people are just fucking and fingering and sucking.

[Big J Okerson]

Casual fisting is something you don't see a lot. You should have taken that moment in better, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

She sat on my pants and I had a. It smelled so bad I had to throw my pants away.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, she just had a fist inside of her. I know, but no one's ph is set to handle Bobby, I introduced you to the lock in party.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to see this black Lou.

[Big J Okerson]

You're so upset you missed these.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, I went to something like this.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at it. See, you just pull your pants down, fuck them a little bit. Yeah, skip ahead seconds in a row. By the way, some of these girls are cute.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, I guarantee it smelled like a snake shape.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it smells horrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you?

[Big J Okerson]

No. Oh, you'd be blown away. How many guys eat their pussies? No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why?

[Big J Okerson]

Because someone's gotta.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

Believe me, when they got back to wherever they went after this, they were like, damn schooly was eating that all night.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, not that one.

[Big J Okerson]

It's fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

It's black. You haven't seen a lot of black pussy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've seen black pussy.

[Big J Okerson]

You've lived your life mostly in racist Boston.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. See, I've been with black girls, dude. I know what black vagina looks like.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure you do.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do. That one was not taken care of.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

It's weird that they're not naked. They're like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because it's a shutty outfit. It was a strip club because you're.

[Big J Okerson]

Just walking around sort of, and then they're just waiting to get fucked by guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

I walked in. I thought he said it was a strip club. When you walked in, all of a sudden everybody was fucking and finger fucking.

[Big J Okerson]

And grinding and they locked the door. No cops, no nothing allowed in there. No.

[Bobby Kelly]

You had. You got. You got wanted by two guys out front. It was in a building. I think it was like. It seemed like a parking garage. And it was like a room off a parking garage.

[Big J Okerson]

These are just halls. They're just renting out halls.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's all it was. It was like a private thing. Like, I think it was on 38th street in 8th.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a way. I think it's just like a. It's a cash grab for like party promoters. You get a bunch of pro. You know, I mean, the guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I imagine that would be what your butt looks like?

[Big J Okerson]

I wish. I wish I had a fatty like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have a nice butt.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't?

[Big J Okerson]

No. That's why I don't like Christine. See it from behind.

[Jacob]

But these parties, there's. They're new. This old look.

[Big J Okerson]

Old, new. No, this has very old. This is 90s, probably maybe early aughts.

[Jacob]

I thought you meant.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is still 90s.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, these definitely still go on.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I went, it was the 90s. We did a show with Maceo and me. Me and D.C. benny did a show at Maceo and he was like, yo, let's go to this. This underground place. And we thought we're going to a bar. We walked in, dude, I didn't realize what was happening. There was just people, everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah. Ma seems like. And Reggie McFadden seems like they've been to lock in parties before. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, I'm not wrong.

[Bobby Kelly]

I remember Maceo disappeared.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that one playing that Christine? Because that one, I like this girl particularly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which one?

[Big J Okerson]

The really gross one with all the floral stuff on that. That one right there. And look at all these gang members just eating her sniz.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is nuts. I could. I couldn't. This does nothing for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, let it load. Relax. It's a longer video. It needs a little time to load.

[Bobby Kelly]

You stop yelling at her.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's like she's like, come on already.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's doing the best. She's your girlfriend that you live with and she's loading what you really like. This is sad for her. She knows that you need five other black guys with bandanas to make you come.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, she's bitten on that. If she's bitten on that during black dick in that video, I'm probably not gonna come.

[Bobby Kelly]

The only way Jay comes. West side Crip fingers in a crip dance. It is dependent piece of. I'm talking about kissing and loving. Yeah, your friend's wife, not you, Christine. Sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

Go on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know that scenario actually played out wrong.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, now there you go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, she has a bow tie.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at this girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

No, Christine, don't jump all the way.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

I didn't mean to do that.

[Big J Okerson]

Now we lost it. There she is. Okay, There she is. She has the most basic face of like.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's tied up.

[Big J Okerson]

She's like, hey, you got a few. No, she's not. She's like, you got a few more minutes to finish eating my. Then I have to take. That's to get a smoke. Like it's. It's such shift working.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. I mean, it's disgusting. It looks like a shitty buffet. I mean, that's not bad sound I gotta hear. What's that looks on here?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, music blaring music.

[Bobby Kelly]

That looks like. That's. That's a white chick right there, right? That's a redhead.

[Big J Okerson]

Sometimes there's white girls and those ones are fun to watch because they've really gotten into a world that they are just the white girl. I bet I could already tell you how they talk like their voice and They've got themselves to where they're getting fucked at lock in parties in the hood.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is the grossest shit I've ever seen in my life, dude. But they did put a tablecloth down.

[Big J Okerson]

On the table, jacking off. The guy just got his dick out of his pants. But this girl here, really, I think she's employee of the month.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, how much does it cost? It's free. You have to pay the girl.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Free for girls?

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, I would, I would say the. No. Christine, I don't think you understand what this is. We didn't pay to get promoters. Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, we didn't pay.

[Big J Okerson]

That's strange.

[Bobby Kelly]

We actually had to pay the girls and we, you know, get drinks and stuff like that. And then we. The girl was like, if you give me this. And I left because my pants smelled like shit.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sure the promoters of this. The plan is to. I would assume it would be an entry fee for guys and then you can tip the girls extra for their tips. But I think the girls get a. Paid a chunk also.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's. What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

Like a chunk of cash?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I thought that was a. I thought that was a sex thing. She gets paid to chunk. That's what she gets. Four dicks at once.

[Big J Okerson]

And the guys, yeah, they probably get their own bar. This is a rental hall, so they get their own bar and they just make. They think they're making a couple thousand dollars.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there was a. There was a stage, there was a bar. It was all you could say it was, you know, put up. But maybe, maybe Macy paid for us. I don't know because I remember we walked up, I was nervous.

[Big J Okerson]

No, Macy also, he's maceo. He was on Uptown Comedy Club. They may have also let him in because he's maceo. It's time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right after that. Yeah, yeah, there's a DJ going on there who's announcing everything that's going on.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, are you trying to point out that this is you? We didn't know about your old life as a block in Lock in Black Fuck Party dj.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, do they do a.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, Black Lou here, two for one on black Ash.

[Bobby Kelly]

One at a time. Black guys, do they have a. Like a version for me and you? Like, like a semi locked in. Like not locked in.

[Big J Okerson]

I believe that's what desperate amateurs would start to become, where they just have desperate amateurs.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is an open door policy where you're not locked in. You can leave whenever you want.

[Big J Okerson]

Desperate amateurs compilations, Lou, are the best because they really are those like it's just. It's a chick. It's a chick who's not necessarily attractive or has a good body at all. And they're just like. Well, I need the. I got my needs cash. So I'm gonna do this video.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's sticking a banana.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Is that an actual banana?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's a banana and it's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, thank God it's not peeled. It would break off.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

No, it looks peeled.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not peeled. No, you see, it's just. I mean, why would you do it? I don't like food and sex at all.

[Big J Okerson]

Me either.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. What are you gonna look at the stuff coming out on it?

[Big J Okerson]

This is no stuff. It's a condom on the thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's not a condom on the banana.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, there is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is there?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's disgusting. Oh my God, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's less disgusting now that there's a condom on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't. What?

[Big J Okerson]

Let's hear some butt. Let's hear some of that guy. Fellas, the funny money is at the door.

[Bobby Kelly]

We. Dude, this is.

[Big J Okerson]

When they see that loose.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm going to throw up. Dude, I haven't had lunch yet.

[Big J Okerson]

I love this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just give me a headache. I can't. I can't.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd rather talk about Palestine. Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, there's a white guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Looks like Joe List, dad.

[Big J Okerson]

It really does. And look at him just nicely rubbing her foot. He's like. He's just an old white guy rubbing her forms like. Thank you, sweetheart.

[Bobby Kelly]

I told you I went to one of these. There was an old white guy just like that.

[Big J Okerson]

That's him. That might be the guy putting it all on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Dude, this is weird. I. I didn't even know. I went to. What is it called again? A lock in party.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, like you don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. No. Yes, Bobby. It's called a lock in party.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't fucking know.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me get you back.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hated it.

[Big J Okerson]

You went. You were the dj.

[Bobby Kelly]

I went and left very quickly.

[Big J Okerson]

If you came, you came quick.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I threw my jeans away, dude. She rubbed her awful vagina on it and me and DC Benny could smell it in the cab on the way home. It was gross.

[Big J Okerson]

Now I love this girl. She makes her way into a few of these. She's the fallen from grace white girl who just does her job.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She's the Irish Catholic girl from Boston that her family just rejected because she dated a guy from Dorchester.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, here's the fun you get to see is that you can see the black girls start to sort of like they don't like her because she's the snow bunny and she's getting a lot of attention from this black lockin party. So the other girls don't dig it that much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice watch. That's a really nice watch.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That's a movado, I think. Same one you got.

[Big J Okerson]

So you think I'm ready to go to a lock in party?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think you're ready.

[Big J Okerson]

I am. This is what I said about the P. Diddy parties. If when I was younger particularly you could absolutely get me to go to one of these for no other reason. If just like I'm gonna watch the whole thing take place. If I was going to jump into the game, it would be different room completely. I'd have to go like, hey, we have to go to like a bathroom or a side room. Like, I'm not just gonna sit here and like watch around the room while you're sucking my wiener.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I don't want a guy in a vest watching me get my dick sucked.

[Big J Okerson]

Or a kuji sweater.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, whatever that dude is. I give her credit though. She's you. They're using condoms even on the banana.

[Big J Okerson]

But some of the girls are surprisingly like really attractive girls, right?

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Pretty hot chicks.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're hot, but I'm telling you right now, they're pussy smell.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course they're being fucked by everyone in the neighborhood. I give them a break on the night.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to. I do not want to give them. I mean, it's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

There you are. There you are. Bobby. Hey, anybody see Maceo, buddy?

[Bobby Kelly]

How funny.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, dude, Anybody see my friend maceo?

[Bobby Kelly]

How funny would you be if. If I was in this video?

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, nothing would make me happier than you're in the background with a plate of charcuterie. The super soda is good, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, look at that.

[Big J Okerson]

You leave her alone.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, his pecker is so big.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a nice pecker. But I will say this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, through the looms.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Condom blowjob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Condom blowjobs stink. Getting them. I hate giving them.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, right through the loom. Tighty white. Strange choice unlocking party night. White underwear.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not at the 90s, dude. We didn't have cool underwear until like 2000.

[Big J Okerson]

The 90s. You can get fruit of the loom colored brief boxer briefs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but most guys still wore tighty whitey whites.

[Big J Okerson]

Not this guy. By the time I was in like junior high and high school, The. The baggy boxer became the thing, which I could never pull off. So I went tighty whities until they came out, mercifully with the boxer brief.

[Bobby Kelly]

How can you have sex with the music so loud?

[Big J Okerson]

How can't you? I don't like this. It's not the music. I can't come unless the guy is talking about what's going on? Two dollar specials over at the ball for the next 15 minutes. Oh, you get that money out, she gonna come slap that pussy right on your. Shazam. Hey. Fuck. Party lock in. Oh, shit. I see Robert Kelly over there. There. Ah, From MTV Summer House.

[Bobby Kelly]

Speaking of sucking dick, did you hear Kanye sucked his cousin's dick? His. I thought.

[Big J Okerson]

Was it his cousin? I thought it was his uncle or something. He was saying. He was saying his cousin.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said he blew his. He sucked his cousin's dick his whole life till he was 11.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, y. Off.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, I don't understand. Why would you admit that out of the bl. I mean, he's just saying now, right? He's just saying things to say things to have them affect people. I mean, dude, fuck the Jews. I blew my cousin. It's a lot of. It's a lot of crazy stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, that's all over the place, for sure. There's no consistency in there. Fuck the Jews. I blew my cousin. His Jewish cousin.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

His accounts deactivated.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did he get douched for sucking your cousin's dick? Where did he announce this?

[Big J Okerson]

But that's not what his AT is.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not it. No.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, you don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love this. If she takes that off, we have to go back to this fucking Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

You spent about three months thinking he was giving you personal messages.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? I'm sorry, what?

[Big J Okerson]

When Christine broke one of her things, was constantly sending me Kanye west quotes, and I'm like, you realize this is. Are you sending this to laugh with me or are you like. She's like, no, he gets it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wish I was around when she broke. I wish you were.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

I got you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wish.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but I got.

[Bobby Kelly]

Once I wish I was around more. I wish I had more broken Christine experiences.

[Big J Okerson]

I wish you were, too, instead of me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I really do.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

You were.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, hey.

[Christine]

You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? Yeah. I mean, we all need that. That's what Uber's all about. Not just a ride or dinner at your door. It's how Uber helps you show up for the moments that matter, because showing up can turn a tough day around. Or make a good one even better. Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way, so you can be on yours. Uber. On our way.

[Bobby Kelly]

To realize the future America needs. We understand what's needed from us to face each threat head on. We've earned our place in the fight for our nation's future. We are Marines. We were made for this.