Love Letters w/Derek Drescher & Geo Perez

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly Episode: Love Letters w/Derek Drescher & Geo Perez
Release Date: March 19, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In this episode of The Bonfire hosted by Big Jay Oakerson and Bobby Kelly, the hosts dive deep into a myriad of topics ranging from professional wrestling, personal anecdotes, pop culture references, to humorous takes on everyday situations. Joined by special guests Derek Drescher and Geo Perez from the OntheGate podcast, the conversation is laden with candid discussions, witty banter, and relatable humor.

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Professional Wrestling: WWE vs. AEW

The episode kicks off with an energetic debate about the latest happenings in the wrestling world, particularly focusing on WWE's strategies to reclaim its dominance from AEW.

• Bobby Kelly expresses skepticism about Seth Rollins' feelings towards wrestling after Robert Kelly's involvement with the WWE event:

  "I guarantee that Schultz thinks wrestling is gay. I watched it live until two days ago." [01:06]

• Big Jay Oakerson counters by highlighting the loyalty of WWE personalities like Macaulay Culkin (hypothetical joke) and Sam Roberts, emphasizing Schultz's dedication:

  "He did a good job, and he was about to get smashed in the ring by Logan." [03:10]

The hosts analyze WWE's recent moves, including bringing back major stars like Cody Rhodes and CM Punk to counter AEW's rising popularity. They discuss the impact of these decisions on wrestling storytelling and fan engagement.

• Bobby Kelly muses on the evolving nature of wrestling promotions:

  "It's the right time now to bring back like an ECW. Violent like titty filled accidental push shots." [06:06]

The conversation also touches upon personal experiences attending wrestling events, comparing them humorously to metal concerts and discussing the crowd dynamics.

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Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

The hosts transition into sharing personal stories and experiences, providing a humorous glimpse into their lives outside the spotlight.

• Big Jay Oakerson recounts a humorous yet awkward experience with wrestling personalities:

  "It was like going to a fucking, you know, a metal concert with you." [01:59]

• Geo Perez and Derek Drescher join in with their own tales, including stories about encounters with vapes and street robberies, adding layers to the conversation with their unique perspectives.

A particularly entertaining segment involves discussing the challenges and humorous mishaps related to handling vapes, with the guests sharing exaggerated scenarios about interactions with "bums" requesting vape hits.

• Derek Drescher humorously laments:

  "I could have got arrested and raped." [21:26]

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Pop Culture and Movie Discussions

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting various movies and pop culture phenomena, especially focusing on Alyssa Milano's roles and the evolution of her career.

• Bobby Kelly nostalgically reminisces about Alyssa Milano's earlier roles:

  "It's onnungs casting on the pool side of the grotto, and he just blew." [56:16]

• The hosts critique her performances in movies like Embrace the Vampire and Snapdragon, blending humor with critical analysis.

• Big Jay Oakerson jokes about her evolving image:

  "I jerked off at the beginning one when she came up behind her." [26:33]

The conversation also veers into discussions about iconic movies like The Shining and Easy Rider, with the hosts and guests sharing their memories and critiques of these classics.

• Bobby Kelly shares a humorous take on The Shining:

  "He took my girlfriend from my imagination." [25:04]

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Love Letters and Personal Relationships

The heart of the episode revolves around the theme of "Love Letters," where the hosts and guests delve into personal relationships, past crushes, and the awkwardness of teenage affections.

• Bobby Kelly opens up about his teenage crushes and the complexities of expressing affection during school days:

  "I was a kid.... I was like, no. She grew with me and then started giving me real ways to perv on an adult." [25:26]

• Geo Perez and Derek Drescher contribute their own stories about writing love letters, facing rejections, and the humorous outcomes of their youthful attempts at romance.

A particularly funny exchange involves Bobby recounting his attempt to personalize Boston's "Amanda" into a love poem:

"I changed the name to Deanna.... I thought none of them would know it because it's Boston and we're children." [46:02]

The discussion evolves into the pitfalls of outdated relationship tactics and the humorous realization of how perceptions change over time.

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Final Thoughts and Reflections

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on aging, personal growth, and the humorous side of life’s setbacks.

• Big Jay Oakerson muses about changes in personal appearance and self-perception:

  "She looks like Sid from my...." [later clarified as not applicable] [55:04]

• Bobby Kelly and Derek Drescher share laughs over past relationships, body image, and the quirky realities of maintaining relationships over the years.

The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion about future plans, potential guests, and the anticipation of upcoming content on both The Bonfire and the OntheGate podcast.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire weaves together a tapestry of humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary on pop culture and professional wrestling. With Big Jay Oakerson and Bobby Kelly at the helm, joined by Derek Drescher and Geo Perez, listeners are treated to an engaging and entertaining conversation that balances laughter with relatable life experiences.

Note: All timestamps correspond to the points in the transcript provided and serve to attribute notable quotes and segments accurately.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

It's starting to sound like spring, but it's not official till you've lit up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The grill with Kingsford Original Charcoal. This time of year, as we break in the backyard with friends and family, everything tastes better cooked with authentic wood fired barbecue flavor. Thanks to Kingsford.

[Commercial Voice]

Welcome spring.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Commercial Voice]

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[Gio Perez]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think so? Do you think Soder is worked up that Schultz got to be in wwe?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I watched it live.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guarantee that Schultz thinks wrestling is gay. I watched it live until two days ago.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's a problem. If Schultz left after his segment, that would suck. That means he's not into it. That means he showed up to promote because I go when I went. Macaulay Culkin, his brother, his other brother. Big huge wrestling fans. Always there, always at the Garden. He was there last night, of course. Sam Roberts. Sam Roberts is another. He is famous in wrestling. But he, we went with him two rows back. The wrestlers were looking over and yeah, pointing at Sam and winking. And I was just like people yelling out Sam. Nobody knew me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was like going to a fucking, you know, a metal concert with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. It's not like that. This is a bunch of fat nerds don't know me. I'll take it. It's fine with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But if he left after this, it would suck.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he wouldn't leave. Why would you leave your fucking ringside watching an event? It's fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you live in New York. You might not be into wrestling if you're not into it and you're like, I did my thing. I'm out.

[Bobby Kelly]

I batted around going night. What when I saw was the Garden. Yeah, I was looking. I don't have like there's gas. Digital is on their, their Jamaican trip this week. So I have nothing to do at home. And it's. I'm trying not to bat around Suicide. So I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why wouldn't you? I would have loved to went last night.

[Bobby Kelly]

I should have Yeah, I saw it, like, during the afternoon yesterday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was like, ah, dude, last night was. Would have been an epic show to go to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was it great?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude, it was awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

What happened? I mean, the Rock come out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. The Rock wasn't there. Cody came out. It was all right. He made Cody's. He came out and just talked. It was all right. A little promo. It was cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was the Ultimate Warrior there?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's. He's gone. He's dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But with. When Schultz did do this thing, I was a little nervous that he wasn't going to pull it off, because it's hard sometimes. These famous people can't pull it off. He did a good job, and he was about to get smashed in the ring by Logan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he's about to get a suplex. No, I think Schultz did a good job in playing what he had to play. Here's my concern with the part you chose to play, and I thought this was weird, too, for Patrice. Like, you have to go with the character they give you, but if you got one shot and you're playing yourself to make yourself be the pussy. I know it's fun still, but it wasn't so much. I would be fine. To have wrestlers go and they start beating you up, and then another wrestler comes in and saves you. To have to stand there while he's saving you and watch him and cheer for him like a girlfriend is very, very strange.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I think that's what he did, what he had to do. But I thought he took the bumps good. Schultz did a good job as far as that goes. And then. But it's funny, when was it AJ Styles? Is that the guy's name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was the problem with me is that he was like, A.J. styles. And he just came back from injury. He's not as pot. He's not. He's big, but he wasn't as big as, you know, somebody else wasn't AEW for a while. Oh, all them. A lot of them were. See, Cody was. CM Punk was. Everybody was in aew. Everybody went to aew, and then WWE.

[Bobby Kelly]

Brought them all back when Vince was gone, when.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When Triple H got back, and when he got into control, he goes, let's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go get all these guys back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, listen, we got to go and start getting these guys back. Because he saw what. AEW was actually making a really good push.

[Bobby Kelly]

I heard it's eating now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's eating because he took everybody. He took Punk, he took Cody. Cody was like one of the I think it's called the EP or whatever. He was one of the executive producers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Over there and it's Jericho's thing, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jericho is one of the guys over there, main guys now.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. But it's like his thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He started, I thought when Code Cody was one of the guys too started. Yeah, well, went over and helped start it. But when he left, that was.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think Jericho is actually an owner of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So wasn't Cody Rhodes.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was of aew. Oh, I didn't know that Cody Rhodes was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's. I think he still owns some of it. I think he's still.

[Bobby Kelly]

Conflict of interest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he. The guy who owns it, Khan, he has. His father has so much money, it's ridiculous. So they keep pumping money into it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, is it backed by like a prince or something?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. So what they're doing now though is they're going full blood. They're going full crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good ecw.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they go in ECW a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

They should do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They absolutely should. Because they can't compete with the stories that the Rock and Cody and Roman and now CM Punk with Seth. It's just really good storytelling.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the right time now to bring back like an ecw. Violent like titty filled accidental push shots.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wrestling back. This is the time now because that pendulum, while not swinging back, people are definitely getting a little more like. I don't know if violent titty filled wrestling is the downfall of society. It's just like right. Stupid fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you always tell when wrestling's huge, like last night at the Garden when they don't have the huge backdrop, they have the shorter one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because those seats are full. If you watch CM Punk come out last night, he came out and turned around and he looked at the camera that was behind and it's just a sea of people. The whole 19,000 people went to wrestling last night at the Garden Raw and it was, it was a good show and he, he pulled it off.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a three hour show, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I think so.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Three hour show. It is pretty funny in a three hour show though. It's like at this point, four maybe wrestling matches. Like most of it is just like storyline.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, last night was a lot more wrestling because they had the cage match with CM Punk and Seth at the end and not to spoil, Roman came out. Oh, and dragged Seth, dragged him out of the cage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, then DraftKings owes me a little bit of money. I bet on that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Last night would have been a great one.

[Bobby Kelly]

15 to 1 Roman Reigns comes in the cage match. Cha Ching. So, yeah, so the Schultz thing was great. Just except for them. Like his. That his part had to be stand in the corner with his hair all messy and watch another man beat up a man for him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think. I think Logan and him are good friends though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. They podcast and stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's all.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Schultz did the fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did it.

[Bobby Kelly]

When he takes this. Gets thrown over the side here, which, you know, we're fucking 40 something years old at this point. Like, he gets thrown over, then he gets picked up and he does the roll into the ring. Great. Gets up and he's getting ready to go for the suplex. And that's when the guy comes in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the moment when the crowd can turn on you when they say, okay, here he is. And then he goes, yeah, we're not here to see. He said something to Schultz. Yeah, he said something about. He said something about Ohio, which was kind of stupid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we got to take a shot. Those boys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He took a shot at Ohio. And then he said. And then he was like, we're here to see AJ Styles. And it was kind of like, you know, I wish it was.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wish it was the Rockya Homo falls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it was pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Funny. It'd be funny if he suplexed him and Schultz's mustache came off some one piece. No, go ahead.

[Gio Perez]

I know who I want to see.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to see A.J.

[Derek Drescher]

Styles.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. Oh, right on the microphone. That didn't feel good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't like his mom jeans either.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, hopefully he's just wearing a nice pair of reasonable jeans.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's real reasonable jeans.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's a father. He's embraced fatherhood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's selling it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, no, I'm saying he's doing the whole thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's selling it and he.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's getting ready to go for that. And then even the way he throws him down, when he throws Schultz down, he goes down good. He does the whole thing good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's selling it.

[Bobby Kelly]

He does good. And he just chills there. Yeah, he goes down and then. But when he gets up, he just sits there and just claps for a man handling it for him. I wish that he finally a man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wish that he. I wish that he did something. I wish that he got up and. And threw a right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would he go? That's what I'm saying. Why wouldn't he? Yeah, see what I mean? He's like, yeah, cheer for my boyfriend. Exactly. He should have gone under his Legs or something. Take part. Take part in the jumping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I ask, does he have to rehearse this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'm sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah, I think they.

[Bobby Kelly]

No doubt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I say something? I don't know. If they did, they might have talked this out because he. He didn't do a move. I'm going to drag you over, throw you the ring. About to do. And then you're just going to go chill. Because if he did something like, if he was going to hit Logan, he'd have to rehearse that. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Boyfriend's back and you're going to be in trouble. Damn, that's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I see a question here? Who's Simon Gotch? Because someone wrote, why is Logan beefing with Simon Gotch? And I have to see who they think Andrew Schultz is. Who Simon. Gotcha. Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's a wrestler.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that. Really good. First of all, this guy. It must suck such dick to be in great shape. Exercise all the time. And that's the unfortunate natural shape of your chest. Yeah, that sucks when that happens. When someone gets built and then you find out they just have an awfully shaped chest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is strongman from the circus chest.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Rock got surgery.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I believe Rock got his titties fixed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he got surgery because when he would get like jacked, like, he always had like a little party cone on the front. Yeah, he was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was in football and he did all that. And then when he came to wrestling, he had tits. Got him fixed. That's why he started wearing Versace shirts. Yeah, to cover his scars.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he. Because he had. He had the. In his nipples.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, they moved his nipples.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, they went in it and sucked some tit out. Gave him good titties.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now he's got a. Now he's just jacked exactly the way a chest is supposed to look. But this guy's chest, that just sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I know. That's Mexican build.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he's. And he's in shape. He's in really good shape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's in fantastic shape for a Mexican wrestler. Mexicans don't really get full in shape.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, his chest is droop. Is a droopy Mexican chest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'll just be down here a little bit. Poor guy. Poor guy. And I mean this from the guts. As in shape as that guy is, I wouldn't switch bodies because of his awful tit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, there's something that happens to wrestlers later in their career where their tits separate and like Jericho, pick up, pull up. Jericho's chest right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

We had to have a surgery or so he had a real major problem.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it happens to a bunch of people where their chest just goes separate. I don't know what it's called.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not a cave in. But his is caved in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but happens with that happens to these guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's actually a muscle rip. I think it's just what happens. Is it? Yeah, that's what it says.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Look at, look at, look at that. It's weird, you know, from. From years and then. Oof.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's heavily doctored.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know about that. Oh, Rob. Suck my titties.

[Bobby Kelly]

Suck my titties. Young Chris Jericho.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

When he was the lionheart in wcw. It's awesome, man. The long hair, that gorgeous face, that sick bod.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Great. Triple H too. Used to be a real heartthrob. Now he's like a fucking shaved head, weird fucking fat faced lunatic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His voice is all scratchy.

[Bobby Kelly]

His real name is Paul Levesque. Yech. Fucking Canadian jerk off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If we went last night, we would have f. We would have been on tv.

[Bobby Kelly]

We should have went, dude, what's. Christine, look up. Go to seatgeek and what's happening tonight? Let's do something tonight. Oh, you have to do your show or are they still filming that movie?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I have to do my show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Movie's over. Yeah, they finished the movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They finished the movie that fast? Well, they finished the seller part of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's not the whole movie don't take place to seller.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think so.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Is Estee in it this time?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know a lot of comics from the seller in it except for.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do it into crashing and they had to sit there and wait for Estee to nail her line. Yeah, Making me furious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What line?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Something shitty. She was a heckler in the audience for Rachel Feinstein.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. So weird.

[Christine]

I think I just saw Aaron Berg in an episode. Premiere episode of Daredevil.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Christine]

He's the cop.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he's not even a cop. He's a construction foreman. I had to look up to make sure it was him at the end of the episode. But it was in fact him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I watched the episode one. I didn't. Is he in episode two? Must be.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was in one of the first two.

[Christine]

One or two.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was one or two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's good gig.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it may have been one, but yeah, he comes out. But here's what's crazy about it.

[Christine]

It is two.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you about to say the same thing though, Christina? If actually bring it up, bring up Daredevil and Feinberg's part in it. It's an outside scene in the thing. Here's what's crazy. I'm pretty sure they dub over his voice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop it.

[Christine]

I think you're right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it is not his voice at all. That's why when I. That's why I had to look up and see if it was Berg because when I saw the scene I was like that's not his voice at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't like my voice. Why you coming over here?

[Bobby Kelly]

What an insulting humiliation if this is what's going on. But I'm pretty sure I'm right about this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a detour. You gotta get out of here.

[Christine]

Let me set up the scene.

[Bobby Kelly]

Our guys are here. Go, go get them. We have a great geopresent, Derek Drescher. Are they gonna do the Gauntlet beyond the gate? Boys, we have to introduce the Gauntlet. They have to hear the Gauntlet Next week we begin the Gauntlet when we do the Gauntlet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Try it. Let's do a prototype gauntlet. You're not into it.

[Christine]

We haven't talked.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we haven't. We haven't built it up yet. We haven't talked about it. No one knows what we're talking about yet. But you'll see. You listen on Thursday you'll understand what's going to be happening on Monday. Oh, you're gonna understand.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But do we have guests on Monday?

[Bobby Kelly]

We can make it. We can make a guest come in on Monday just to practice gauntlet on him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll have Big Jim come in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe Big Jim. I like Big Jim to be part of the gauntlet. Maybe like a Justin Silver or something, you know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Silver be great. But he'd enjoy the Gauntlet too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We want somebody who's going to be comfortable in the Gauntlet and then maybe find their way in the Gauntlet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, first things first. The soft launch though is not for negativity right now we need. It would be nice if it goes well with adjustin. Do you know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like if it goes well and then it's gonna be funny when we like blow Tom Papa's mind with it one day, you know what I mean? Or we. We make Gavin Rossdale pop a stitch because he doesn't understand why I'm bumping my dick into his leg over and over again because the hallways are very tight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Tom Pop would actually. His real self would come out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, okay, guys. All right, now. That's plenty now. Okay, now, I saw a thing that they said. Wendy Williams threw a sign out of her window that says help me, and then was taken away by an ambulance. Yeah, she's going through some real drama.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was in her room and she held up a sign on the window. It said, help me.

[Christine]

She's not like, what if she. She doesn't have Alzheimer's or that shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Crazy. Yeah. No, she's crazy.

[Christine]

Now they're getting a new test. They want to test her, but is she walk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like she's up and about, though. She's in the window. She's sure, right?

[Christine]

I heard she did an interview.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she did. But her eyes are all still bugging. She goes, I'm perfectly fine. I don't know what anyone's talking about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hasn't her eyes been like that forever?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's because she has Graves disease, I believe so. Her eyes bug.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is it? Graves disease makes your eyes bug out?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think so. I want that Graves disease. I know. I want to believe that everybody who has bug eyes has it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that the lead. The lead singer of that pentagram has it, right? He has maybe. I think so.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kurt Metzger probably has it. Nate's got it. Anyone who's got big bulbous eyes that come out of their head. Oh, what do you think? Do you think Black Lewin out there to get him and they robbed him? These guys can't turn it off. Criminals to the very goddamn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who do we got coming in?

[Bobby Kelly]

Geo Perez and Derek Tre. The on the gate boys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cell buddies.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. YouTube.com onthegate podcast. Very, very funny guys and great dudes and what stories.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I mean, Derek is the muscle and Gio is the brains.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, right. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. If it was going to go down, if they were Tango and cashing it, I would say that Derek is Tango. No, who was. Who was Sylvester Stallone?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that was Tango. He's Tango.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was Tango. Sybil's Tango. We're trying to figure out in your guys, prison escape team up, who's Tango and who's Cash. Bobby and me agree. Derek's probably the muscle and Gio's the brains guy.

[Derek Drescher]

I don't know about that.

[Gio Perez]

Is that the movie where they zip line with a belt across, like a telephone line?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, it is.

[Gio Perez]

Whoever came up with that idea, I'm that guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, okay. That was Tango.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's the brains and Derek's the muscle. But not to say that Derek doesn't come up with a good idea every once in a while. Derek is. Because he's so smart that sometimes he gets confused in his smartness. And he's so. Well, what if we do this? He's like, you know what? That's a great idea, Derek. That's a great idea, kid. And he goes, is it? And he gets proud of himself.

[Gio Perez]

I'm like, now you're thinking out of the cell box.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at the brains of the outfit. He goes, we're going to be up here for a while. Maybe I run out of one vape. Why don't I bring a second vape? That's the kind of shit I'm talking about, man.

[Derek Drescher]

This guy's on one of those is completely dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at you, Derek, sitting there with probably one vape like an ass.

[Gio Perez]

I'm double fisting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He brought a second vape in case he needed to exchange it for goods.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's possible, right? And then you give someone the bunk one. You don't tell them. You show them in the one hand that it works.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, it works when I gave it to you.

[Gio Perez]

That's what I do when I'm not people. Accident my vape, I give them the dead one, the one that tastes like coil.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who this? That's the beauty of vape, is that it's not a bum ever. No bum ever asks you for a hit of your vape, dude. They always ask you for cigarettes, but no one's ever go, yeah, let me get a whack of that.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, they got their own vape and they're just asking you to hold their charger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, dude. Bums are getting aggressive. I told you I had one ask. He's like, yeah, you get money. I go, I got nothing, man. He goes, I got Venmo. I do, too, but what the fuck? I'm not venmoing you money.

[Bobby Kelly]

The beauty is I have Venmo, but I don't know how to work it. So that's real thing they are. I have. Emma goes, I couldn't guess how to do that. You should be proud of yourself. You understand Venmo. I don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was the guy who said, give me your phone? And then the guy sent money. He's like, give me your phone. And the guy grabbed the phone and just sent himself like $500 in Venmo the phone back. Yeah, like somebody was like. Somebody was like, was it. Didn't we talk about that?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. We Saw the thing where the guys now in Times Square, like. And we can see if we find more of these like, like pleasant, non violent robberies with just like the threat of thing. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The guy walks up to him, he just goes. I mean, they're filming it. He's filming him. The guy who's doing the robbery films it to show you what he's gonna do. And he just bullies this white kid and he goes like, yo, man, goes, just give me the money in your wallet, man. Just give me your wallet. And you give me all the money. And he's like. And the guy's like, that's cool, man. He goes, could I just like, you can care if I keep like the things. He's like, yeah, just give me the money, man. Just give me the money right now and put it. And the guy just like, I'm not.

[Gio Perez]

Gonna make you replace all your cards.

[Bobby Kelly]

And genuinely like, the kid's so happy to be out of it. It's the same concept on the other side of thanking a police officer after lays five fucking tickets on you because you're like, well, at least I'm not being taken in. This could have gone worse. So you thank him for it. It's that same idea. He's just like, he's accepting these like half hug handshakes because it's like, you could have killed me, I guess, and you didn't.

[Gio Perez]

I just take those pedophiles that get beat up instead of arrested. They're like, oh, this could have been worse.

[Derek Drescher]

I could have got arrested and raped.

[Gio Perez]

In prison, beat up more.

[Derek Drescher]

I just don't. I can't imagine coming from a world where someone's like, hey man, give me that. And I just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because you're a criminal.

[Derek Drescher]

Just give it to them. Every man. Yeah, come here. No gun, no knife.

[Bobby Kelly]

You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're on the other side of that. You understand how it works? Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

I go, no, no, I do that to you, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nobody's walking. No, I'm walking up to you going, give me your money.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your personality, Bobby is not going to take that with the threat of a guy just walking up to you. Y. I must say, I don't know if the guy even said he had a gun in this thing. It was just like the. Let's just not make it a problem even and find out. Just give me the stuff. And the guy was like, sure, man, that's. I appreciate you asking like that.

[Derek Drescher]

God damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he just fucking takes it, but I don't come from that like, yeah, thing now. I said if someone has a gun, if it's fake or not, and flashes some sort of a gun, I'm probably going to be like, yeah, I'm giving. I'll probably weigh out your option now. I don't know in the middle of Times Square if I would necessarily because I'm like, that's a real scene place. But if you caught me on a. Down a road there's only two other people on or something, I go, in two seconds, I'll give you my shit.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'll shake hands with you for not killing me.

[Gio Perez]

Ten years ago I would have fought, but after getting pistol whipped, I'm like, no, I'll just give it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got pistol whipped in like comedy life.

[Gio Perez]

No, no, I was, yeah, I was.

[Derek Drescher]

Like, what were you like watering flowers in front of your house or some, right?

[Gio Perez]

Oh, I was in front of a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Drug spot watering flowers. Why are you gonna put that in our heads?

[Gio Perez]

You were, you were in like.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was signing up for grad.

[Gio Perez]

Didn't this happen in Harvard?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You water flowers.

[Gio Perez]

Didn't this happen at your job?

[Derek Drescher]

Hey, how'd that happen?

[Gio Perez]

No, I was, I was in front of my friend, my cousin's house who's a known, big known drug dealer, right? And I think it was just a mistaken identity. And this random kid just saw me there and was like, oh, let me rob him. That's the Dominican who makes all this money. And then he pulled out the gun and I tried to grab it from him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Gio Perez]

And we were fighting over the gun for a second, but I was only holding on to his baggy ass hoodie sleeve. And in the fight he ended up hitting me in the mouth and it like knocked my teeth out. Busted my lip open.

[Derek Drescher]

Big gun, big gun.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, it was the. Had to be like a 50 cal.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, it looked like it was a machine gun.

[Gio Perez]

He pulled out a rocket launcher and pointed bazooka whip. You ever got pistol with but a Gatling gun?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would have rather got shot.

[Bobby Kelly]

With no teeth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now you're like, you go back in and be like, what happened? I got a piece of whiskey. What is it? The old west who pissed away at.

[Bobby Kelly]

The end of the film Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I always called what he pulled out to shoot to the house a bazooka. That wasn't a bazooka.

[Gio Perez]

Rpg.

[Bobby Kelly]

He shot a fucking four missile rocket launcher on his shoulder. It was. I forgot. He sent off four different missiles.

[Gio Perez]

Oh, the quadruple Barrel one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Derek Drescher]

It's not a stinger. Right. Is this like an anti air.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think. I think it belongs on a helicopter, quite honestly. And he just picked. He's held it up. He's like trying to shoot this helicopter gun from my shoulder.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't that because Stallone. Didn't Stallone use like a big 50 cal?

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, in Rambo.

[Derek Drescher]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Handheld one. And then Schwarzenegger was like what? He wanted to do something bigger.

[Derek Drescher]

You need bigger. He just had a dude commando was like a huge part of my childhood. I love that movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love that. First of all, you're getting old, John.

[Derek Drescher]

I used to watch it all time.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, they knew how to hit touch my heartstrings. You took. You took. You stole my dream boat. Dude, are you out of your mind? Taking with Milano. She's so beautiful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

And she was like 11 at the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing that bugs me. She was a kid, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I was a kid.

[Derek Drescher]

So was I.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you took my. You took my girlfriend from my imagination.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wasn't, was I? I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Gio Perez]

Your crush on the Olsen twins was inappropriate for me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was perfectly fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were right there in the wheelhouse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I should have been dating Alice from Brady Bunch. That was more appropriate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Talk about. And we've talked about this before on the show by. But the come up of that to luck out with someone. I mean she's really put me through such an emotional roller coaster. That Alyssa Milano. But coming out of coming out of the gates on. On who's the Boss. I was like she's the most beautiful girl ever at my age. Like I wish I was in school with this girl. She's a dream. And then went on to do like that movie Fear. When she jumped out and started doing movies where she was showing her tits and bush and all kinds of shit. So a lot of times you don't get to grow up with them. And seeing that you're like oh, am I a perv? Because I go when I was young Crush was a 14 year old girl with some Milano. It's like, no. She grew with me and then started giving me real ways to perv on an adult. And that's good of her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The vampire movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Even though now she would hate ate everything about me. Oh, that was one of them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Racing the vampire was one of the.

[Bobby Kelly]

First poison ivy I ever jerked off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In my grandmother's house. And I still. I still feel terrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

You shouldn't.

[Derek Drescher]

Is she alive at the time?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's upstairs with My grandfather.

[Bobby Kelly]

She watched. It's the only way you could finish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was in the basement.

[Gio Perez]

There was no lotion. Just fucking Bengay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, here's the thing.

[Derek Drescher]

Watching Poison Ivy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I was Embrace of the Vampire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Embrace the Vampire. Horrific film starring her and the girl from the Golden Child.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And here's the deal. I watched that on regular tv. Like hbo.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, rewind. So I had to. I, on the. On the fly. Had to make a really fast. Yeah, yeah. Like, I was like. I think I might.

[Derek Drescher]

Am I gonna be able to bless the shot?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna have to jerk off because it was a quick lesbian scene.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, is that what cousin said? There's like two or three scenes in that one. Two or three.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I jerked off at the beginning one when she came up behind her. That one. That's the one.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is the scene.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the scene that I. And that's the girl from Golden Child, which I wanted to see. Her boobs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, she shows her boobs in Golden Child.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't care if my grandma.

[Derek Drescher]

She shows her tits in Golden Child. Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Remember, she. Well, not really. She's soaking wet through a white shirt. The whole thing. It's his dream. When he has a dream, she dies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She shows her boobs here.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I mean, this was awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's crazy. There's no way. If my grandmother was walking down. If I heard her walking down the stairs, I still would have met Jerky. I would have let her catch me. That's Alyssa Milano.

[Derek Drescher]

Robert.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's Samantha. Samantha.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, come on. Dude.

[Derek Drescher]

Wait, so is she a vampire here?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But this.

[Bobby Kelly]

She becomes a vampire.

[Derek Drescher]

So I have a friend that actually had sex with her.

[Bobby Kelly]

With Alyssa Milano?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Oh, my buddy Mark.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

When?

[Derek Drescher]

Probably 20 years ago. 25 years ago. Yeah. Maybe more. Yeah. He's a big, handsome, half Puerto Rican, half Dominican guy. Huge. He had sex with her in Mexico.

[Bobby Kelly]

They just met. It was like a hook. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on one second. Christine, let them talk. Put that button. What's wrong with you?

[Gio Perez]

I never saw this, but for me, it was the Devil's Advocate. All the sex scenes in the Devil Advocate that were insane. And like that one where there was, like an orgy going on. The Devil's orgy.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's pretty great.

[Gio Perez]

That was insane.

[Bobby Kelly]

But to me, what was the. And I'm telling you, I think when Devil's Advocate came out, I had to do a pause screen jerk, which was still very blurry. That was crazy. Charlize Theron, right? So hot. It's A split second scene, but you see bush, cooch, tits, and she's all carved up, which doesn't make it worse somehow.

[Gio Perez]

And then it becomes another naked girl.

[Derek Drescher]

Bobby, you're locked in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry, guys. Actually, at the end of the scene when she gets her books and leaves.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you finish?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the hardest part. She gives a nice little stack of books. Before girls, we had backpacks. I mean, what.

[Derek Drescher]

So is this guy a vampire? He looks gay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all gay vampires eventually.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Is there any not gay vampires?

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, I don't think there's a straight one.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got, like, straight sucker tit. For real.

[Derek Drescher]

I know. He's not even a big actor either.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he's just some guy who has this memory of being right by her and sucking her tit. For real.

[Derek Drescher]

And this is very reminiscent of, like, skin and max.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember, it's 100. What this is.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, he saw that in the script and was like, awesome.

[Derek Drescher]

That dude is definitely homosexual. 100%. That is insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Licking that tit.

[Gio Perez]

Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a SAG law. You have to only have a homosexual lick a tit.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, I'll do it if he's gay. That's it.

[Gio Perez]

She's now the Indian burning the tit.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now this was for a film called Embrace the vampire that only three people saw and about 200 people jerked off to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And it was like five seconds of vampire stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's an absolutely terrible film. And she. She licked her armpit, gentle of us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's wrong with that?

[Derek Drescher]

The is going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to make.

[Gio Perez]

I don't know what she looks like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to make a girl come finger her and eat her armpit out like a vagina?

[Derek Drescher]

Jesus Christ, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm telling you right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was that always your move?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not. Not my move. One of my.

[Gio Perez]

Tickle them.

[Derek Drescher]

No lick. First of all, eat their armpit while you finger them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go. Listen to me.

[Derek Drescher]

I'm not doing it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your tongue's gonna go numb from their deodorant.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, don't fucking wipe the deodorant off you. What is wrong with you?

[Bobby Kelly]

So you want me to scrub their.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Armpit, lick it, wipe it off, clean it off. I'm willing to listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Baby wipes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay, listen to me. Thank you, Jay, for being willing. You clean off the armpit a little bit, and then you go in there with what you think a little face cloth, wipe it off.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I have to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, doesn't matter. Go get a little face cloth, wipe it off, kiss her, blah, blah, blah. Get in there and lick it and get in there. They're gonna be tickled. A girl feeling her being finger popped and being ticklish at the same time. Dude, they'll lose their fucking mind.

[Derek Drescher]

Might be right.

[Gio Perez]

So women over 18 are into this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They have to be 42 that can't be tickled.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a very handsome guy. I've always been too fat to approach a woman with the idea of, can I wipe her down before I go to work on her?

[Derek Drescher]

You mind if I baby wipe your.

[Bobby Kelly]

Armpit out real quick?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

For what?

[Bobby Kelly]

I know you're making a lot of concessions being with me, but would you care if I clean your armpits so I can fucking suck it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Commercial Voice]

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[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, this was great. Alyssa Milano getting naked was a huge, huge thing.

[Derek Drescher]

That was a great scene.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would also.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This was back when movies, like I said, you couldn't just watch this again. You didn't have this tape like when I. It was like something you had to catch. And when it was coming on like.

[Derek Drescher]

1Am on HBO Saturday night, some shit like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pam Anderson did that one called Snapdragon. Terrible film.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never saw it. What was that one?

[Bobby Kelly]

It was starring the father from Firestarter and Keith David. It's the flip side of whatever the black guy is. One's David Keith and one's Keith David. One's the guy who's. That's Frank and Beans from Something about Mary. Is that Keith David? And David Keith, I believe is the white guy from. Is the white guy from. And also Officer and a Gentleman. Not just a father and Fire Starter, but I saw Fire Starter a lot and never really quite saw Officer and a Gentleman. I made my choice and so did Jacob, but he just. They. It's like a. Him and Pam Anderson a bunch movie. It's him and the guy in Breaking Bad who played one of the big like drug dealer guys. Stephen Bauer.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh yeah, yeah, from Scarface.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stephen Bauer also I think her in this movie. And it was young, hot Pam Anderson like Fresh off Tool Time. She probably got the part. It's one of those things that happened where she got popular and then they release a movie that was probably never even gonna come out. Just some hunk of straight to video and then it comes out. They've done it with a lot of people when they get famous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was it called?

[Bobby Kelly]

Snapdragon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Snapdragon.

[Derek Drescher]

That's a great name.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never heard of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's terrible, I know, but I want.

[Gio Perez]

Some of that Snapdragon in it.

[Bobby Kelly]

They show her pussy, but it's like sex scenes.

[Derek Drescher]

I would imagine that would be like Asian porn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you could go watch. See Pam Anderson naked, always in Playboy. There was no problem. This was the only chance we get to see where it seemed like she was fucking. Right Then the grainiest video ever came out of her, blowing Bret Michaels. And then the porn tape came out and it didn't matter anymore. None of this mattered.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Gio Perez]

Wait, she had a tape with Brett Michaels, too?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, she sucked off Brett Michaels and she was married to Tommy Lee. They gave each other hepatitis C. I believe so.

[Bobby Kelly]

But this was when she was genuinely stunningly hot.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's actually her hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's not.

[Derek Drescher]

She's in a movie that's coming out and from what I understand, it's getting, like, good reviews.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's out? Yeah. Oh, it's out. The Last Showgirl. It's like maybe Oscar. Nominated.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, I heard she. She crushed it.

[Gio Perez]

Does that have to do anything with the first showgirl? With the, with the girl from Saved by the Bell?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's called. It's called the Last Show Girl and I. What it. Actually, I'm going to watch it and I know I'm. I hope she's a fantastic actress in it because it's crushing to see that she is now not only accepting how she looks and her age, but she's leaning into, like that. She's going to look kind of haggard, right? As like a washed up showgirl. And I mean, this is still the picture I see of her in my head when I think of her, the.

[Derek Drescher]

The coming attractions. I saw she looked like weather beaten. You would like, be like, oh, she's been clean off meth for like six months. That's what she, like, looked like even in the. She's just getting it back together before still.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this the. Is this the new movie that she's in?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that. He's. Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Batista's become pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I mean, right there. I know, man. How is it the same Person.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

It doesn't make sense. I'm not crying for myself so much as my wiener, you see?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

I mean, this scene you already know. She doesn't. She goes and doesn't show. She walk. Goes back home. She wet food for the cats. Heats up some.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen, I. We all remember young Ginger Lynn from pornography. When you were young, you'd find porn. When you were younger, in the 80s. My favorite ginger Lynn. So hot. And then she shows up in that fucking Metallica video. And you're like, ooh, time's doing a little something. Then we interviewed her like four years ago. And you're like, this is someone's nana. What happened? Dude, she was one of the hottest chicks in porn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she was. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. Dude, that is not the same girl from Snapdragon.

[Christine]

Jay, kiss your dream girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know, dude. I couldn't. I bet her spit always tastes like butterscotch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at her. Right there in Snapdragon.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Stephen Bauer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kissing, kissing. One of the worst actors ever.

[Derek Drescher]

Who, Manolo?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he stinks.

[Derek Drescher]

Ah, come on.

[Bobby Kelly]

He is a pretty horrible actor.

[Gio Perez]

He sucked in Scarface.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Scarface.

[Derek Drescher]

That was pretty realistic.

[Christine]

Fantastic. In Breaking Bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, Breaking Bad, he was all right, But Scarface, he stunk.

[Derek Drescher]

Now, that scene with him on the bus when he goes. What did you tell him? He goes, I told him I was in. I told him what you told me to tell him I was in sanitation. He goes, I told you to tell him he was in a sanitary Dominican.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or he's a Cuban. A Cuban.

[Bobby Kelly]

Guys. I also forget that too. Ginger Lynn stayed too long. So she's got plenty of porn where you're still like, what are you doing? Look all the way on the right. Go all the way to the right. Right? Yeah, that's the other side. All the way to the right and then down. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, that right there where she's sitting on. No, not that one. She was sitting on a dildo and it was just. It doesn't look awesome, but she was so cute when she was young.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, look at the one in. Where she's in the pink, with the curly hair. She looks like. That's a perm. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I just say something, though? If that was your neighbor.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that all right? Yeah. All right, here's the deal. That's your neighbor.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You move in. She's nice. Hey, what's going on? Hi, Jay. Blah, blah, blah. Couple months goes by, Jay, and then you look in the backyard. She's jumping into Jacuzz with nothing, right? And then she goes. She waves over and she goes, jay, she's so cute. Not that girl, the other one. Yeah, Jay, what are you doing? And Christine's not around. You're like, oh, I'm just. Come in. Come into the Jacuzzi. Would you not go in the Jacuzzi?

[Bobby Kelly]

The answer's a thousand times yes. I'd go, but the reason. But here's the reason why. And here's the actual truth to that. Fifteen years from now. Yes. And she's gonna be. No, no, I'm saying if it was just her right now, she's frozen in time. Okay, Right. If I was 15 years older than I am now, no brainer. And somehow 20 years younger than I am now, when I was like very young, like starting off, getting and stuff, that wouldn't have made anything. I just would, right? You go, I'll try that. And I would have no problem keeping a boner for it. Even if I didn't like it and it wasn't that fun. I would get through it and I would come and then I'd be like, oh, what did I do? And then I'd probably go over again next time she offered him have some regular thing with his old geese next.

[Gio Perez]

Door, but just don't even mind. She has a dangling labia.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She always makes pies that you come in. But 30, Jay, you want soup.

[Bobby Kelly]

But like 32, 31, maybe to like, like now. I would not go over there if she was calling me anything. Now, now listen, this one, your old her with the bush and the whole thing. Fantastic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That new. That new. That one. Now you go to your house. Now you're alone, Christine's gone, doing skank festy things with her, with her, with Rebecca. And you're home and she's. You're friendly with her. You've known her. Sure, you guys are cool. And you look over and she's getting in a Jacuzzi and she takes her robe. Hang on. Takes a robe off, didn't say anything. And you. I know, but you had the face. Takes your robe off and she doesn't know you're there, but you see her. You're just smoking a little cigarette outside.

[Bobby Kelly]

Keep the robe on and we're talking. Maybe we take the robe off and I have to see. It's like. It looks like she has three tit shadows in each side. It's like each one just like. That was crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We leave the robe on the Jacuzzi.

[Bobby Kelly]

With a wet robe and one fat tit comes out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Half. Half. Just a half a tit with the areola.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then she looks up and she goes, jay. And you go, hey, Gladys. And she go. And you go, what are you doing? I'm smoking a cigarette. Come on in. Jump in. You wouldn't go over and jump in the Jacuzz?

[Gio Perez]

He'd ask if she's wearing deodorant first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right there. That's all you're seeing. Over to the right. That one. That's what you see.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, God, no, dude, no. She was a Biggie Pop.

[Derek Drescher]

I never.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, don't you remember? It was the funniest thing when we had him on Zoom interviewing them and their microphones went out. We are. We lost connection to them all. But they just kept talking. And while they were talking, first of all, Chrissy Canyon looks phenomenal. And they were both another porn star from that time. She looks fantastic. And they were both super fun and awesome. But it's just like, when do you get out of doing this kind of pornography stuff? Because while they were doing. And we couldn't hear them, but they kept talking. Ginger Lynn, remember this? She started, like, backing up and, like, lifting her dress and showing, like, herself naked with her underwear on and showing her tits. A bunch couldn't hear us. We couldn't hear her, but we could all hear each other, like, from the bonfire. And then I was just trying to explain to Dan, because he's a little bit younger enough, and I was like, dude, if you told me Ginger Lynn at one point would be lifting her dress and we'd all be sitting here looking for it, I'd be like, no way. This is the greatest day ever. And we're all sitting here kind of like, oh. Oh, come on. What are you doing? Stop doing that.

[Gio Perez]

It's like when your high school crush. When you see them in, like, 35, and that's like, you know, after four kids and. You know what I mean, their husband's in jail now. And, like, now they like you.

[Bobby Kelly]

There is. There is 100% true. Yes. I have that exact story. They. Every girl who I wrote a note to and had a crush on in high school, it would. No, I would not. I mean, like, my friend Jamie stayed very pretty, but the ones I see from, like, school, like, they really. It's not even the same human being. In fact, there's one I looked up. I can't believe we were in the same grade. Wait, there's a lady.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so gay that you wrote notes nonstop. No, I walked up to her not even.

[Gio Perez]

Do you like me now? Gorgeous, yes or no?

[Bobby Kelly]

Gorgeous kid. Gorgeous.

[Derek Drescher]

I used to write notes to the drug dealers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

Will you let me rob me?

[Gio Perez]

That's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Rob you?

[Derek Drescher]

Yes or no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I never wrote a maybe. Never wrote a note to a chicken. Flicked it back to her. I didn't flick anything red, yellow or green. You're a fan.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't do that. I would, I would, you know, no, not fold it up just as much as I could fold it, write their name on it. And then just be like, you know, before you go, it's like, oh, here you go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What would you write on it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Silly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lovely. Everything from just like a flat out, like. Would you like to get a sandwich?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the problem this may have been.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got an extra one in my bag if you want to join me at the bench.

[Gio Perez]

It might be a little cold, but still good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's how Jay got chicks with cheese steaks.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I had, if I had a dad around to teach me any kind of game. It wasn't my thing was I felt like everyone did this, but maybe it was very like me. Everything was definitive, especially at grade school. Definitive. So you'd send a note to someone who didn't quite had no idea I even liked them or if they thought maybe I did because I was giving that off somehow. The note was like right to the like, hey, boyfriend, girlfriend. Long time commitment.

[Derek Drescher]

Did any of us ever work or no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, work with Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's how I gave Christine. Sent her a note. Hey, I'm seeing this other bra, but I kind of like you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boyfriend, girlfriend. It was sort of that point. But then I would when I started doing that too much, that's when I plagiarized the song Amanda by Boston and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Changed the name to Deanna.

[Bobby Kelly]

Changed the name to Deanna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm leaving. I'm gonna walk out, guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. You know that story.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I, I, I hate it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm going to take you by surprise and make you realize. Deanna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gay.

[Gio Perez]

Thank God you I did something like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

You recorded yourself doing that and says I wrote it. I wrote I was my stepfather had that album and I was listening to that song I was on and I was like, oh, here's a note, all right. And instead of by the way, maybe just take like a verse of it. It's already gonna be too heavy anyway. There's a lot of love and blah, blah, blah. But I'm throwing these verses. I did verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus. Like it was like, why is this note, like he keeps, you know, I mean, and I presented like it's a poem. It's clearly a song. I thought none of them would know it because it's Boston and we're children. And my stepfather, it's his band that he loves, likes from the 70s and. And they all knew it. They all knew it. And they sang it when they saw me walking down the hall, laughing at me. And I was like, is that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why is that where you never picked up a pen or a piece of paper again?

[Gio Perez]

He starts shaking when he grabs a pen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just gonna do crowd work, you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Know, Let me just.

[Gio Perez]

Oh, man. I was locked up when I was locked up. When I was 19. I had. I had hooked up with my high school such.

[Derek Drescher]

So the only way we could. I was writing a letter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No worse.

[Gio Perez]

But I. It was worse than the letter. So I was locked up. This was in 20 2009. And that song Michael Buble Home came out. So I wrote out the entire lyrics to that song and sent it to her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Her.

[Gio Perez]

And that was the last time she ever wrote me back, bro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Having somebody, like when I was in juvie jail, having a girl, right?

[Derek Drescher]

Perfume on the letter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to have Denise Contino from Ben Salem, right outside of Philly. She was from Brooklyn, but she lived out there. I kept a hold of her just when I was in jail and rehab for like a year and a half because those little letters, when that would come in the mail and she would say all this, that I love you and I. Blah, blah, blah, and you just read it, you're like, I got this girl. And as soon as that was out, I was like that. I found those letters. I should bring those in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen, it's a big girl.

[Gio Perez]

Pen pals while I was in jail.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A couple, right?

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that's the thing, and it blows my mind that it still exists and still happens. And there's a TV show exploiting and showing you what happens. And they still cannot seem to understand that this muscle bound, fucking jacked, handsome, tatted up guy isn't actually in love with a girl with a 3 inch gap in her teeth. And. And she has discolored underarm pits because her body rubs so much when she walks. They're like, but you said we was going to have babies. I said a lot of shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Denise. Denise was kind of hot. I gotta say that.

[Derek Drescher]

You should look. I wonder what she looks like now. Let's find Denise.

[Bobby Kelly]

Katina.

[Gio Perez]

I had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She used to dress like Madonna.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, she's one of Those she had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like a mesh and the little leggings and the gloves. 75 bracelets.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Gio Perez]

A lot of the times, like when you get pictures, you like to show them off to your boy. Like, hey, you know, I'm getting girls out in the town, but some of the. The girls I was writing to never saw the light of day. Single person.

[Derek Drescher]

It's funny that you. You wrote a Michael Buble song to her. Remember one time my girl picked me up from jail and she's playing music and I Michael Buble was playing. But I'm such an idiot. I go, who the is? Michelle bubble.

[Gio Perez]

Michelle bubble.

[Derek Drescher]

Turn this off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Gio Perez]

The funniest part is just hearing I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Didn'T know his name until right now.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought it was Michael.

[Derek Drescher]

She told me. She told me Michael. That's Michael.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wrote a poem. I want to find this so bad. My first breakup, when I got out of all the rehab and stuff. I wound up dating this girl and she. She want to this other dude. She went to college and joined a sorority and wanted to became a Sorostitute. Yeah, exactly. I went to the library. I was so broken hearted. I went to the library and it was cold, raining out. And I wrote this poem that I thought, oh God. It was something like My cloud. The clouds.

[Gio Perez]

My tea's gone cold. I'm wondering why.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Clouds in my coffee.

[Bobby Kelly]

Clouds from you're so vain.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, some. I think I stole that from a song that I heard.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You're so vain.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I had a dream that cloud.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't know it was that time, buddy. I. I was taking so much from other things. But I thought it was this most beautiful poem. And I remember I left it on her door. And I never heard from her. Like she never. Yeah, she never said that.

[Derek Drescher]

Did I respond or not?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was getting by Steve the hockey player.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Steve had a good laugh at that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't think. You think she showed him 100%?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think the lesson is never put your heart out to bitches.

[Gio Perez]

Oh, that. That supposed to. That I sent to her. She showed to her friends. Of course all I went to, all of them I went to school with. And one of them I lost my virginity to.

[Derek Drescher]

They were probably clowning her even more.

[Gio Perez]

And then after that, one of my best friends had a threesome with both of them. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So she was worth the poem.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like when the girls are worth the poem. I would take you through a list. I can't. I feel like I don't look as old as anybody. Who I went to high school with girls wise.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh they all look.

[Bobby Kelly]

They've been even like I just saw pictures the other day on Facebook of like the girl that was like the holy shit girl and she's holding it together but it's still nothing you would overly like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've seen a couple people from my high school that and funerals that I. I've seen a girl. A couple girls I dated and I was like, wow, I dodged a big bullet. Yeah, I dodged a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you ever start to think though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe if they were with you. Not even Jabba the Hutt. A piece of Jabba the Hutt.

[Derek Drescher]

Like his arm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like you wouldn't even realize that is that you'd be like that's Jabba the Hutt. No, that's just her face.

[Bobby Kelly]

My ex did the move. My ex. We got together. She. She got pregnant almost immediately. She lost weight during the pregnancy, which was concerning at one point and then had the baby gained 100 pounds for our entire relationship and now is thinner than she's ever been in her entire life. She went the opposite route, but so am I. I guess too. I put her through that same thing as well.

[Gio Perez]

You know what I see a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Too funny Jay Just realized. Oh, I did the same thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh yeah. No, but I was a consistent fat the entire time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she knew. She knew what she was getting into.

[Bobby Kelly]

She knew she flim flammed me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She knows what she was getting on top of.

[Derek Drescher]

You didn't wait while you're pregnant though. That's wild.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was wild.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, that is. That's kind of concerning.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Derek Drescher]

So she had the bumper. She.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she was like losing weight around cuz the baby was fine. She was great. Everything was weird. She was like. She was like losing weight except gaining weight from the baby. It's very strange, but I think she was like a net like total like negative something when it was all said and done. Which is strange also. I didn't let her eat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I said.

[Gio Perez]

I. I shamed my daughter's mother to lose weight after baby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice. That's what you got to do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? Yeah.

[Gio Perez]

How.

[Derek Drescher]

How you do it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shame her. Let me hear.

[Gio Perez]

I just constantly made fun of her for being fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like how she gained a lot of.

[Derek Drescher]

Weight during the pregnancy. Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You show her pictures of other people who had babies and be like she seemed to pull together.

[Gio Perez]

I'm like, look at Evelyn. I don't. I just like now you don't need.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To eat that goddamn. I hear you walking around the house all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like it by the way, this is Christy Canyon. Who? Christy Canyon tells you to come to the hot tub. You.

[Derek Drescher]

Is that what she looks like now?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. You leapfrog over dawn.

[Derek Drescher]

Damn. How old is she?

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, they gotta be 60 something.

[Derek Drescher]

She's 60. She looks great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I'd step on Max's back and then step on Don's head to get over a fence.

[Bobby Kelly]

Goddamn right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And dive into the Jacuzzi head first.

[Bobby Kelly]

And she. Yeah, and she's back in like, the Peter north days of porn. She's like 80s, 80s, maybe early 90s, but she was like all 80s, Big Bush.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, I know.

[Derek Drescher]

Cities are starting to get hit by.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course I like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

But sure, yeah, bring up young Christy Canyon, you know, it's a good way.

[Gio Perez]

To shame a girl you don't like a saggy girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A big, saggy, droopy.

[Derek Drescher]

I love jam. I don't care. I love jammers.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a bad picture.

[Derek Drescher]

I like a big old vein.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you call them? I love a tit vein.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah, Jammers. I call them jammers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like a cancer because a good.

[Derek Drescher]

Set will jam you up. The jams your radar. Yeah, Jammers.

[Gio Perez]

That's my favorite name for them, is when they call them Village Feeders.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like. I call them Monkey Makers. Because when you grab me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go. Go up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right? Yeah. I mean.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. I mean, look at. Look at the. She was. They were very perky there.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was pretty great.

[Christine]

This were the two. When we had them on that. They confessed it. James Khan. Blue Coke up their ass.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I knew I liked him. I knew he was one of my favorite actors.

[Christine]

He's a great, greatest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn it. What a. That made me like him even more. Now he's dead.

[Derek Drescher]

Oh, and he just passed, too.

[Gio Perez]

That's the guy. The priest from the Exorcist, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, James Con was Sunny Corleone. Sonny Priest from the Exodus.

[Derek Drescher]

He was also. What was the other one?

[Christine]

Misery.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The writer is wrong with you.

[Derek Drescher]

Wasn't he an easy Rider too? Or not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was.

[Gio Perez]

Dude, I watched hood movies as a kid. You told about boys in the hood.

[Bobby Kelly]

But surprisingly, you thought he was Max Von Sydow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, my bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

For some reason I thought, that's great, Jay. Know exactly.

[Christine]

We're on the side of the. On the pool side of the grotto, and he just blew.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was. Hang on one second. How the. Did you know the priest from the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ex'S name, Max Von.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I should.

[Gio Perez]

I should have known. I was wrong. By the way, Jay was looking at me and I was like, ah, nah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but Jay looked at you and then went, Max Vine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Jimmy Khan. That's right. He blew coke up their.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God, whatever.

[Derek Drescher]

So who were the two dudes in Easy Rider then? I could. I thought he was in it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've only seen this.

[Derek Drescher]

That was Henry Fonda and Dennis Hopper.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, and no. And Peter Fonda. Yeah, Dennis Hopper.

[Christine]

And then Jack Nicholson was with them.

[Derek Drescher]

Nicholson, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nicholas Nicholson was a badass.

[Derek Drescher]

Peter Fonda, Nicholson, Dennis Hopper.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, that was. And also when those girl. We interviewed those girls, this. The time in porn was so. They were like. We really felt like movie stars. It was like movie cameras. They were shooting everything off. It was like limos and dresses to beautiful dinners and things. And people.

[Derek Drescher]

Did they make a lot of money or, like, enough.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, they were all doing pretty fine. And like, they just said they were like, star. Because there was like, you know, 20 girls total in the industry. You know, it wasn't like. Now it's just like any girl can turn on a computer and be like, what, I shove something up my ass? I'm a porn star.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So funny though, because they were all on the valley side and then James Con, all the other. The. The Hollywood side. Right, right. And what a great time to be like, you couldn't that age.

[Gio Perez]

Oh, no Internet, no social media.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got to be a surveillance, a real star. Where you got to do all this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Debauchery, no therapy, telling these girls they have daddy issues. They were just chugging. They didn't know why.

[Gio Perez]

No memes. Tell them about toxic masculinity.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No documentaries, how you're a cannibal. You just got to do.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah, there was weird, you know, murder documentaries. So they were just clueless, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What Jack Nicholson has done in his career.

[Derek Drescher]

I can only imagine if James Caen blew coke up those girls asses. I can only imagine.

[Christine]

It was like daytime, like the sun was shining.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to do it in the day, you can't do it at night.

[Derek Drescher]

Playing in the park, kids playing in their rooms.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many times do you think a woman asked Jack Nicholson to put his. Mash his face into her and go, here's Johnny. I'd say a lot. Yeah, I'd say at least 30.

[Derek Drescher]

Yeah. Can you say it please, Jack?

[Bobby Kelly]

At least 30. He goes, all right, Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that. That girl from the Shining fell off too. That little girl, the white. Which one?

[Bobby Kelly]

She was ugly from birth. She was always.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was always a little weird, but.

[Bobby Kelly]

In that graves disease eyes, she was all right.

[Gio Perez]

She looked like Sid from my.

[Christine]

No, she wasn't. But she did age horribly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I was in that hotel late at night, I'd throw.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? No, I'd rather. I'd rather one of those cobweb skulls. Or the guy in the. Or the guy in the squirrel costume blowing the butler.

[Gio Perez]

I'd rather the black bartender.

[Christine]

Yes, she passed.

[Gio Perez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, compared to Shining.

[Derek Drescher]

I would have had sex with her in the Shining for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, in that picture, Derek. Not in the whole movie. Not in the whole movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not the whole movie. But there are moments in the movie when I have sex to compare to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Correct.

[Derek Drescher]

Now, is she like a bag lady on the right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's her now. I don't know. She.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you were living. If you were living miles from civilization with your family and nothing but room ghosts, the dead spirits of natives wandering around.

[Derek Drescher]

Was this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or imaginations twins appearing out of nowhere, Ballrooms being full Nothing. Nothing thing. Those circumstances. I would. Shelly. Do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure you would.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would. Yeah. But if you take away even one of those things. If all those things are happening but there's no ghost balls happening in the main buffet hall, then I wouldn't her.

[Gio Perez]

So you have to be fearing for your life.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's got to be like, you know what? I might as well. We're not gonna.

[Gio Perez]

We're gonna die.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Derek Drescher]

Jesus.

[Gio Perez]

Wait, that's her on the.

[Derek Drescher]

What is she, 95 years old?

[Bobby Kelly]

Old?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta understand actors. What is such a. Listen, man. Unison actors, they don't make you think about it. They'll get, what, maybe a hundred thousand dollars for a movie back then or something like that, right? That 30 goes to the government. 25 go to agent, manager, lawyer. You're winding up with a little bit of it. And then if you don't get a gig. If you don't get a gig for a year or two, you're done.

[Bobby Kelly]

Even more hurtful, I just read this out. She was. She's 75 in that picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's two years younger than Ridge Voss. That's crazy. By the way, she showed you fall aged to look like the lady who was in the bathtub in room 237.

[Derek Drescher]

That's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There was like a fan of hers. That was.

[Christine]

They had to find her with her. They had to find her. Like she disappeared.

[Derek Drescher]

Wait, she finally did? She passed away?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Gio Perez]

You know, Rip, we see them like they're kind of like frozen in time in the works. We've seen them and then we go years without seeing them. Like, I saw a picture of Sinbad the comedian and he was just mouth open in a wheelchair, like he could barely move.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He had a stroke.

[Gio Perez]

He had a stroke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's kind of sad. I didn't know that.

[Derek Drescher]

He was a big part of my childhood too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're gonna take a break real quick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Radio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now. We have radio. We have have. We have ads.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We have ads right now. You. You have the first one.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got you, C.J. lou. But you said you put a phonetic thing here for us. Yeah, it's sane, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, sane.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why did you put the. The I? You could have just wrote the word sane. S A, N, E. I spelled it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A bunch of different ways so you can't mess it up. I would have messed that up. You said it right, didn't you? I would have said sane.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I just remembered it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the other one? Dan Danube. Danube.

[Bobby Kelly]

Make sure you listen to the on the Gate podcast with derek and gio YouTube.com onthegatepodcast and follow them on social media.geoperez86 ericdresser they're hanging out with us for the rest of the show. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire prize and make you realize. Deanna Brady. I'm gonna say it like a man and you understand. Deanna Brady. Chris Brady. Sister.

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