Loveliest Of Lovelies

Summary

Podcast Title: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: Loveliest Of Lovelies
Release Date: December 10, 2024
Host/Authors: Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Platform: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103

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Overview

In the "Loveliest Of Lovelies" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly engage in their trademark candid and humorous banter. The episode delves into various topics, including culinary preferences, Thanksgiving anecdotes, household dynamics, and fatherhood challenges. Throughout the episode, the duo shares personal stories, jokes, and playful exchanges, offering listeners an entertaining glimpse into their lives.

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1. Culinary Conversations: The Cheesesteak Debate (00:27 - 04:18)

The episode kicks off with an enthusiastic discussion about cheesesteaks, sparking a friendly rivalry between Philadelphia and Boston styles.

• Cheesesteak vs. Steak and Cheese:
  Bobby Kelly champions the authenticity of Philadelphia's cheesesteaks, emphasizing the importance of steak over cheese. He humorously corrects Big Jay by stating, "It's steak and cheese. It's not cheesesteak" (02:24).

• Preference for Boston's Offerings:
  Big Jay counters by advocating for Boston's steak and cheese, highlighting specific establishments like Tony Luke's Oregon Steaks (03:43).

• Adding Tomatoes to Sandwiches:
  The hosts debate the propriety of adding tomatoes to hot sandwiches. Bobby defends the inclusion, while Big Jay vehemently opposes it, declaring, "A tomato in a sandwich is cold... It sucks" (07:12).

• Notable Quote:
  Bobby Kelly humorously remarks, "You just realized you have, and everything fell apart on you" when discussing the mishaps of adding tomatoes to sandwiches (07:17).

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2. Thanksgiving Tales: Celebrations and Challenges (04:18 - 21:55)

The conversation shifts to their recent Thanksgiving experiences, highlighting both joyous moments and unexpected challenges.

• Christine's Absence Due to Illness:
  Bobby shares a heartfelt story about his dog, Christine, being sick during Thanksgiving, leading him to celebrate without her and cope through drinking and partying (08:41).

• Household Logistics and Max's Behavior:
  Big Jay discusses the complexities of managing their household, particularly focusing on their son Max's frequent disappearances and unusual behaviors, such as vanishing during meals and engaging in private activities (16:00 - 22:17).

• Notable Quote:
  Big Jay expresses frustration over Max's antics, stating, "Max is more of a dude. Do you know what I mean?" (52:11).

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3. Household Dynamics: Structuring Space and Managing Behavior (21:55 - 39:59)

The hosts delve into the intricacies of structuring their home to accommodate their son's needs while maintaining personal space.

• Renovations for Privacy:
  Big Jay elaborates on their decision to renovate their new house to create distinct areas for adults and Max. This includes converting the upstairs into an adult spa-like area and dedicating the downstairs to Max's living space (20:28).

• Max's Activities and Room Setup:
  Discussions highlight Max's activities, such as gaming and drone flying, and the measures taken to ensure his room is both functional and private (21:03 - 31:45).

• Notable Quote:
  Bobby humorously mentions, "The bottom half of the house is one man's jerk dream," referring to Max's room setup (49:02).

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4. Fatherhood and Personal Growth: Navigating Teenage Challenges (39:59 - 53:44)

The conversation transitions to the challenges of fatherhood, particularly dealing with a teenage son's behavior and personal development.

• Max's Independence and Activities:
  Bobby recounts interactions with Max, detailing Max's attempts to assert independence, such as preparing to leave for the night and engaging in self-exploration (44:45 - 49:45).

• Balancing Humor and Seriousness:
  Both hosts navigate the fine line between jest and genuine concern, using humor to address sensitive topics related to teenage behavior and personal boundaries (50:00 - 53:44).

• Notable Quote:
  Big Jay reflects on the lack of guidance in discussing sexual matters, stating, "I don't have a guideline to go on" (50:16).

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5. Upcoming Shows and Announcements (53:44 - 61:26)

As the episode progresses towards its conclusion, Big Jay and Bobby Kelly share information about upcoming performances, promotions, and house projects.

• Upcoming Performances:
  Big Jay promotes his upcoming shows at various locations, including the Gramercy Theater and Beacon, New York (58:34 - 59:23).

• Merchandise and Promotions:
  They discuss their merchandise offerings and promotional codes, encouraging listeners to support their ventures (54:02 - 54:34).

• House Projects and Future Plans:
  The hosts touch upon ongoing house projects, such as installing a sauna and gym in the basement, and future enhancements like smart lighting in the bathroom (40:37 - 42:17).

• Notable Quote:
  Bobby humorously suggests, "We have to get our crowdfunded surgeries," referring to their exaggerated plans for personal improvements (53:26).

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Conclusion

Throughout the "Loveliest Of Lovelies" episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly blend humor with personal anecdotes, offering listeners an engaging and relatable portrayal of their lives. From culinary debates to the challenges of fatherhood and household management, the hosts provide a multifaceted look into their experiences, all while maintaining their signature blunt and candid style.

Notable Quotes Summary:

• Bobby Kelly on Cheesesteaks:
  "It's steak and cheese. It's not cheesesteak." (02:24)

• Big Jay on Tomatoes in Sandwiches:
  "A tomato in a sandwich is cold... It sucks." (07:12)

• Big Jay on Max's Behavior:
  "Max is more of a dude. Do you know what I mean?" (52:11)

• Bobby on Maximizing Dishonesty in Travel Time:
  "You think this is the time to ask." (53:26)

• Big Jay on Lack of Guidance:
  "I don't have a guideline to go on." (50:16)

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Note: This summary excludes promotional segments, advertisements, and non-content sections as per the provided instructions.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big J. Okerson]

I don't have hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big J. Okerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with big J. O and Robert Kelly.

[Big J. Okerson]

Y. What's up? We're back.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're so back.

[Big J. Okerson]

We're so back. What's up, everybody? SiriusXM 103 Fashion Dock. It's the bonfire. I'm Robbie K. With an IE. And we got Big J. Okerson over there straight from Philadelphia and the crew.

[Bobby Kelly]

Straight from Philadelphia with them cheesesteaks.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, you brought. You brought cheesesteaks. Okay, I'm gonna say this on the air.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jim. Jim, wait.

[Big J. Okerson]

Big Jim is here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Piece of cheesesteak, my friend.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, my God. He offers it like he's. It's like monetary value.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's from Oregon. Steaks, finely chopped.

[Big J. Okerson]

And Jim, our boss, is from Philly. Look how happy he is. Boston has good cheesesteaks too, Jim.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's called steak and cheese, and they're.

[Big J. Okerson]

Super steak and cheese. Well, state. Well, it's. I'm not gonna fight with you because you guys are a team. But here's the thing. I've gone over this before. Steak is the main thing. It's steak and then cheese. It's not cheesesteak.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jim, you don't have to sit and listen to this.

[Big J. Okerson]

Did you Bring any. I will. I will have. I will have the best cheesesteak from Boston. He's even calling it a cheesesteak.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's messing up already.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's a steak and cheese. I'll get a steak and cheese this weekend. I'm going back to Boston. I'll bring it back in Monday. You will have a steak and cheese from Boston.

[Bobby Kelly]

So many hours of car travel. It's not going to hold up.

[Big J. Okerson]

What are you talking about? You have the same amount of car track, Jim.

[Bobby Kelly]

Have a bite. Let me know.

[Big J. Okerson]

Stop acting like you just.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's finally chopped.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, God, yeah. Is it good?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, man, it's so good. It's perfect. It's perfect. Hi.

[Big J. Okerson]

Dude. It's really good. I'm going to admit this right now. It's amazing. But the problem with Philly. This is the problem with your whole town. You got too many spots.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. All of them are great.

[Big J. Okerson]

I've never heard of Oklahoma Gyms.

[Bobby Kelly]

No one has. It's not a place. It's called Oregon Stakes on Oregon Avenue.

[Big J. Okerson]

Why I've never heard of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why would you have heard of it?

[Big J. Okerson]

Because I've heard of Genos and Pats.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because they're in Boys to Men videos.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm not. That's. You got Genos and Pats, which is the famous one, which is. Is good, but not better than Boston. No, it is, but then you got. Who's the other one? You get the.

[Bobby Kelly]

The.

[Big J. Okerson]

The.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tony Lou. Tony Luke's Oregon Steaks.

[Big J. Okerson]

And then you get the one at the. The train stop.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ishka, Bibbles. Writing terminals.

[Big J. Okerson]

Writing terminals. Got a good one. Exactly. Campos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody's chicky and Pete's buddy. It doesn't end.

[Big J. Okerson]

It does end. You gotta have at least two, and then that's it. The best.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big J. Okerson]

Where's the best?

[Bobby Kelly]

All of them.

[Big J. Okerson]

They're not all the best.

[Bobby Kelly]

All of them are great.

[Big J. Okerson]

There has to be two good ones. Like, you gotta go here or there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope. That's how bad other places are that can't figure out the cheese stick is that 700 places have figured it out in Philadelphia.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't agree.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just ate it. You're fighting your own insides.

[Big J. Okerson]

I am.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right now I am. Because it was so delicious.

[Big J. Okerson]

You know, I'm honest.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want more?

[Big J. Okerson]

I do. I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you feel bad about this?

[Big J. Okerson]

Listen, I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boston had its run, dude.

[Big J. Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sox won the series. You had Tom Brady for all those years. Now you have a shitty team. I don't even know if you still have a baseball Team.

[Big J. Okerson]

We have a.

[Bobby Kelly]

No one pays attention.

[Big J. Okerson]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Kelly]

Stupid steak and cheeses.

[Big J. Okerson]

Suck dick. Oh, my God. How dare you?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Big J. Okerson]

If I had a glove, I'd slap you across the face right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want to take one of my gloves to slap me?

[Big J. Okerson]

No, because it doesn't have the fingertips and that's a slap.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is not rewarding.

[Big J. Okerson]

I would miss you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bye, Jim.

[Big J. Okerson]

Bye, Jim. I'm bringing you a steak and cheese on Monday.

[Bobby Kelly]

He won't.

[Big J. Okerson]

They will. I tell you what. We have.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it. Now Jim's gone, it's fucking contract time, dude.

[Big J. Okerson]

Let's do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You gotta come bigger with those fucking snacks treats.

[Big J. Okerson]

How do you shut your iPhone off?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I don't have a watch connected to my phone like a lunatic.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, you do have.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't wanna know. My heart rate every time I move.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm trying to stay fit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, Adam, can I interest you in. My manager? Adam is here. Would you like to try a piece of that cheesesteak?

[Big J. Okerson]

You can't just introduce him as Adam, my manager. You gotta give him a big.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no.

[Big J. Okerson]

Adam.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was he here? Adam's here promoting me.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, no, like super manager.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, like super manager.

[Big J. Okerson]

Super manager. Yeah, super manager. Manager of the. Of the stars.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. Levity Entertainment Levitate.

[Big J. Okerson]

How about. Yeah, exactly. Manager of the stars from Levity Entertainment.

[Bobby Kelly]

Has brought you every mall club across this country. Levity Entertainment. Have you ever wanted to do seven shows and buy sneakers and hats?

[Big J. Okerson]

Do you like skir? Do you want to get shit faced before and after the show? Next door?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm doing Levity Live production of Something's Burning this week on Wednesday.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, that's great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, I love that.

[Big J. Okerson]

What are you cooking?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I know. It's way too involved.

[Big J. Okerson]

Whatever it is, make sure he washes his hands. You know, he touches his balls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bert, Bert. A lot of ball touching.

[Big J. Okerson]

A lot of ball touching.

[Bobby Kelly]

I always mention everything he prepares, though, is a hot meal, which, so I assume the balls burn off within the. You know, it's like when you put alcohol.

[Big J. Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

When you boil something like Jack Daniels sauce, there's no Jack Daniels in it anymore. It's just the sugar.

[Big J. Okerson]

You're killing all the burnt ball juice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J. Okerson]

By cooking it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big J. Okerson]

So if he has sushi, you might rethink this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Correct.

[Big J. Okerson]

But as long as it's a cold dish. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna be like, bro, would you mind zapping that in the microwave for a little bit? It's Sushi, buddy. Still, you know, I mean, just to get the ball bag off of it. Oh, my God, look at all those sandwiches.

[Big J. Okerson]

First of all, to me, Christine just.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I batted around the idea of getting one of them chicken cutlet sandwiches because that was awesome, too, but wouldn't have traveled.

[Big J. Okerson]

What is that? What is the tomato thing to hot tomatoes?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, it's a caprice, right? No, it's a cheese. I'm sorry. It's cheesesteak, provolone, tomatoes, long hots and oregano. Some of my.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're out of your mind.

[Big J. Okerson]

Putting a cold tomato into a hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sub and not cold anymore.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, I know. That's why it sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's good.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, it's not. It sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

You never had a hot tuna.

[Big J. Okerson]

A hot tuna?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Not with tomato. Tomato does not get hot tomatoes in a salad or you mush it up.

[Bobby Kelly]

And make a sauce or it's in soups.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, you can do a whole. The way to convert that is a roasted red pepper.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yes. A roasted red pepper or a pepper is the only tomato.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, there's lots of tomato pizza.

[Big J. Okerson]

Disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not disgusting. It's very good.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

You never had a grilled cheese with tomato. You just realize you have, and everything fell apart on you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Listen, this is the thing with you. I'm gonna always admit when I'm wrong and you won't. Okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not. That's not true.

[Big J. Okerson]

That is true. No, that's. That's a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

I look at you, I say, I'm wrong. Often I say, I'm sorry. You say, I got so good at it.

[Big J. Okerson]

You've gotten better.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the show, the Bobby Kelly Big J version of this show is a hyper, emotional show.

[Big J. Okerson]

We are always on edge.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dan Soder was a lot more close. Like, pinned up. You know what I mean?

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Closet.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's the other show. That's the other show. That's the morning show. Closet.

[Bobby Kelly]

The morning. It's not closeted at all. No.

[Big J. Okerson]

Thanksgiving.

[Bobby Kelly]

Loud and proud Thanksgiving. My first trans. Thanksgiving.

[Big J. Okerson]

Max's fifth.

[Bobby Kelly]

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. I had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Me and Christine. Our dog was sick, so she couldn't come to Philly.

[Big J. Okerson]

Sad.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it was sad. I had to, like, drink and party and have so much fun without her. Yeah, it was. Every night was more sad than the next going. Like, you know what would make me have to leave here sooner and not be drinking? Christine. But I got through it. I got through it and. But no the dog had kennel cough, so she couldn't go. Christine. So I came back for Thanksgiving. Bobby very sweetly invited us up.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm so happy you guys came up. Can I be honest? Didn't know. Thought I was going to get the high hat up until 2:00 when you texted me. Because I did text you and I didn't. I got the. You know, here's the thing with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would assume food decisions were made at that point. I wouldn't do that unless there's an emergency of some sort.

[Big J. Okerson]

Food decisions were made. You're absolutely right. Food decisions were made. How much? Blah, blah, blah. Even though Don fucked up on the, the, the mushrooms.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Big J. Okerson]

Because she usually makes two trays. She made one tray. And Norton, when he comes up, he always, he eats like a billy goat. So he's just flopping them in his mouth, just mushing them on his palate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, him and Max seem like they were in a race to get those in double fist.

[Big J. Okerson]

And yeah, they're flopping them down.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then they put it right between them.

[Big J. Okerson]

I actually took five away and hid them for you guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Smart.

[Big J. Okerson]

And then at one point, they were just eating so many of them.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was like, you gave me one fresh. All the pressure, you go, it's steaming hot. But they're not going to be around.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, they're not going to be around. So I kind of had to hide food. She should have. I mean, she. Look, you make it, you make enough food. I mean, I had to push her face against glass later that day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you put her face into glass?

[Big J. Okerson]

I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

I had to feel. When we were driving home, I was like, that was pretty perfect. But I still feel like Bobby probably put her face on the glass.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, look at. Man, you make enough mushrooms, you know, it's a hit. It's a hit every year.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look, Bobby, she can't think. She's stronger than you. Are you even listening to Corey Holcomb when he talks?

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm 100% listening.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't not let her think that she has the best of you. Sometimes a face has to go on a glass. I said to Christine when we got in. Here I go, Christine, do me a favor, heat that cheesesteak up. We were out front getting ready to come into the building. This big glass building. So much glass for putting face on. And she had the audacity to go, oh, I thought we were going to give it to him to take home.

[Big J. Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Face in the glass. Never said another word. Hot cheesesteak in this room.

[Big J. Okerson]

If you came up here with cold cheesesteaks and said, what, am I going to put it in my pocket?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

She's not thinking it through.

[Bobby Kelly]

Take it home with you. Hey, bring this to several more counties if you can.

[Big J. Okerson]

You know what's good about that, though, is she'll never make that mistake again.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think so.

[Big J. Okerson]

Which is why.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there's a cheek and nose print on the front revolving door of this building that says otherwise. Yeah, my friend, you're right.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'll tell you what, though. It is adorable, Christine. It's an adorable cheek and nose print on the front. It is, yeah. I thought you weren't going to come. And then I even put it. I put a little passive aggressive thing in the text thread that they still haven't responded yet.

[Christine]

That was when I realized we hadn't responded.

[Big J. Okerson]

You haven't responded. Now, I understand that because I'm in a queue.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Christine freaked out about going in the queue this weekend.

[Big J. Okerson]

You were in the feet. I was, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I saw her panic, I called her, she goes, can you give me three minutes? I go. She goes, you're gonna. But please don't put me in the queue. And I went, three minutes is a real nice time to get queue. And then before I finished typing, she called. She knew she didn't wanna fall back in the queue.

[Big J. Okerson]

It does make me feel better that you're in the queue.

[Christine]

Oh, I get cued so much.

[Big J. Okerson]

Here's the thing, here's the problem.

[Christine]

The Gabby, I mean, he, like, he loves being on the phone.

[Big J. Okerson]

Loves it.

[Christine]

So it's like it infuriates you because.

[Big J. Okerson]

You know how much he likes to talk.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're wrong about that. I love smoking cigarettes. And smoking cigarettes is when I go on the phone.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So if we get on the phone, let's roll. I've already taken an elevator. I brought out cigarettes. I found a place to go, probably. I've got my chai. I'm ready to chat. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Where? Your radio.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, yes. But sometimes I also come outside listening to the radio and you might fall into queue for. Depends where I'm at with the songs, you know, I mean, if it's really hitting me, if I'm feeling emotional about music, that. That moment, you might get queued for music.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I tell you why the problem is because when you make a joke in the text thread, it requires response and you don't respond. Like, if I made a joke, you said, I have something really awesome to give you on Monday and I went, I hope it's your delicious hot cock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, Right.

[Big J. Okerson]

And you never responded. So now if you die or something happens to you, and that's the thing. I'm just sucking your dick and I'm gay.

[Bobby Kelly]

You said my delicious hot cock with three separate sauces.

[Big J. Okerson]

Three separate sauces.

[Bobby Kelly]

Three separate dick dipping sauces. And I will tell you, I didn't want to yay or nay that. Cause I didn't want to give you a clue. It could be maybe. Maybe it was that.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, that's like when you make a gay joke or a racial joke and nobody laughs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. It's just racist and homophobic.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm just gay. Right. I was like, I hope it's a dick with sauces.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

And then I had to live with that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Because I know. Because you'll go through your head going. Saying things like, you look at that and be like, whoa, what is. No.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bringing you a cheesesteak, you fucking weirdo. Yeah, I didn't say that at all. I smiled and I was like, oh, well, no, I'm not going to let him know if it's that or not.

[Big J. Okerson]

Do you know that they made things for you little. They're called emojis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I've gotten big into emojis.

[Big J. Okerson]

And you could just give me a thumbs up, and I would have been like, great. Or an lol, and I'd be like, oh, he doesn't think I want to suck his and put sauces on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. But I didn't want to send back a. I only know a few emojis. I didn't want to send back an angry face or the hardy face with star eyes or. And then also, like, a bashful, like, ooh. Like covering the mouth like, ooh, Imma show.

[Big J. Okerson]

Would have loved the bashful one.

[Bobby Kelly]

I should have sent the bashful one.

[Big J. Okerson]

That would have been perfect.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those are my three.

[Big J. Okerson]

Three sauces and a little bashful face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I'm real big on hardying or haha ing someone's message now.

[Big J. Okerson]

I like a ha. Ha. Ha. The big ha.

[Bobby Kelly]

They give you the haha right on the thing.

[Big J. Okerson]

Little Ha.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh. Are there different levels of ha?

[Big J. Okerson]

There's a hahaha.

[Bobby Kelly]

Adam, you want to put the headphones on? You can hear DJ Lou's fantastic board work now. Do you have a belly full of cheesesteak? God, how good was that cheesesteak?

[Big J. Okerson]

It was really good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hell, yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Have you been to Boston? I grew up in Boston. Then you know what I'm talking about. They have good steak and cheeses in Boston. Steak and cheese. Philly mops the floor with us. Okay, hang on one second, dude. This is where I'm fucking. You've been in Hollywood too long, dude. But I'm going to agree with you. A cooked tomato is trash. All right, I'll take it. I'll take it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't ever ask me. Make you a grilled cheese.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, I don't. I.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not gonna like it.

[Big J. Okerson]

I. I like grilled cheese.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want tomato in it, though?

[Big J. Okerson]

I would take a tomato. I'd rather, you know my, like, you know my favorite sandwiches.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Big J. Okerson]

Papa bread. Toasted.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was this word?

[Big J. Okerson]

Papa bread.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Christine]

Tom Papa's bread.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Tom Papa's bread. Oh, you love Tom Papa's bread.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, so Tom Papa's bread against that glass right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on a second.

[Big J. Okerson]

Push it against.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine. Get over here.

[Big J. Okerson]

Get over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get over here.

[Big J. Okerson]

Push it again. How dare you Get. Christine. How dare you get against. Get against the glass.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry.

[Big J. Okerson]

How dare you. Right against the glass. You know what papa bread is? Don't ever insult me. Push it against it harder.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's papa. My papa made the bread.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wait, I'm taking her face off the glass for that.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. Papa bread. Papa bread isn't a type of bread that I've just never heard of.

[Big J. Okerson]

You've heard it, I take it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the bread your papa made.

[Big J. Okerson]

I gave a emotional dissertation. Dis. Okay, I remember. Yeah. I affected you.

[Bobby Kelly]

It did. But I still thought papa bread, for some reason was. So it's just bread.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's not just bread. It's papa's bread.

[Bobby Kelly]

But what's he put in it different? That makes it papa's bread versus bread. Love.

[Big J. Okerson]

Love.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

And papa sourdough. No, it's not sourdough.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is when papa's done with it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Garbage. Stupid Californian trend. Every fucking actress. I have my sourdough. Fuck that sourdough sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't wait to make your own product.

[Big J. Okerson]

Let me tell you something right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I may not wait to make your own product. Bobby Juice.

[Big J. Okerson]

Bobby juice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'll take Bobby juice. Whatever Bobby Juice is, buddy.

[Big J. Okerson]

We already have a whole truck we're working on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah, that's right. What are you talking about?

[Big J. Okerson]

I forget that I'm dealing with a pothead that forgets everything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do we have amazing ideas?

[Big J. Okerson]

We have great ideas. The flanker is coming out soon. Dude, a papa bread. Toasted tomato, mayonnaise. I meant Salt and pepper. Love it. Cold tomato, hot tomatoes. Disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I wouldn't just make a hot tomato sandwich. That's nine.

[Big J. Okerson]

But putting a hot tomato on anything, that it gets mushy, it slides out. I don't even know. You know, I'm going to take it back. I don't like it. In a. In a cheese sandwich.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't like it?

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't love it. If you gave me an option of a tomato in a cheese sandwich, a grilled cheese, and a no tomato, I take the no tomato. I'll take a tomato soup with the grilled cheese. I'll take a tomato soup. Hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hot tomato, gazpacho.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'll throw it in your face and then kick your mother in the stomach.

[Bobby Kelly]

None of what you're saying adds up.

[Big J. Okerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Your temperature things for tomato is different from dish to dish.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's got to be hot. It's got to be hot. A tomato in a sandwich is cold. A tomato soup is hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not on a hot sandwich, it's not.

[Big J. Okerson]

You can't have a hot tomato. It gets mushy and yucky. You lose the texture of the tomato.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tomato on a chicken cutlet sandwich.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, it's gross.

[Christine]

There's a white pizz with tomato roasted on top of it is one of my favorite pizzas.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not disgusting.

[Big J. Okerson]

A tomato heated in an oven is gross. It shrivels up, loses all. It all texture.

[Bobby Kelly]

DJ Lou's staring at you like you're preaching the word. Dude, I'm serious. I heard it. But DJ Lou's story.

[Big J. Okerson]

Look around the room.

[Bobby Kelly]

DJ Lou's 50 years old and doesn't eat his vegetables. He still wants to be yelled at to eat his vegetables. Twin brothers got to come in and be like, if you don't eat your Brussels sprouts, we're not getting Baskin Robbins.

[Big J. Okerson]

You like a hot tomato, though, huh? I like a hot tomato.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Listen, you don't like a hot tomato and a grilled cheese?

[Bobby Kelly]

I sure do. That's exactly where he likes to if.

[Big J. Okerson]

This a guy who eats fucking.

[Bobby Kelly]

What else?

[Big J. Okerson]

Gas station casserole. I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

I understand that Lou has the palate of a fucking vagrant, but the man understands. Hot tomato on a grilled cheese is fantastic. Can I take us back a little bit to Thanksgiving? Because there were so many funny things there.

[Big J. Okerson]

There's a lot of funny things. I'm glad. Even when you were coming up, you called to tell me. You texted me. You called to tell me there's traffic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, there is. Traffic.

[Big J. Okerson]

And I was not. I felt like. And you can be honest with me. I felt like you were saying, hey, dude, if I. At that moment when you were like, yo, dude, there's a lot of traffic. If I had said, buddy, don't worry about it. Head home. Would you have head home if I gave you the okay? Were you looking for the okay?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. I would have been like, geez. I was like, no, no, no. I'm just letting you know that, like, the traffic's, like, way worse than it was.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay. That's why I rushed you off the phone. And I was like, no, no, it lightens up.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I just called you to let you know. I'm like, dan, it's like a. It was like a fucking parking lot. Like, just. Just getting out of the city on the thing. It was.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's the GW bridge sucks once you get past it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Once the people were all there and.

[Big J. Okerson]

Five minutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

What, Bobby? It's not five minutes. Bobby, where you live? When I got off the exit, my ears popped. Bobby lives on top of a mountain.

[Big J. Okerson]

I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

At the tip top of it.

[Big J. Okerson]

I do not. You guys. Here's the problem with you guys. You haven't been out of the city. You don't understand.

[Bobby Kelly]

By the way, Max of Casa de Max is far more dangerous than I thought. There's so many more things in there that I knew. He's got a 3D printer. I forgot.

[Big J. Okerson]

You saw the basement.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's got a 3D printer, Jacob. He can make bombs and guns.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's not true. And dildos on my life.

[Bobby Kelly]

There is a 3D printer in that basement.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, my God. Listen for people who don't know who are just tuning in for the first time. We had bought a new house for Max.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you got a couple rooms for you and Dawn.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, we bought a house. It's a. It's a split level. So we decided instead of having Max upstairs, we will make upstairs the adult section. And we'll make it almost like a spa like atmosphere for adults and do everything. And downstairs, lovely house will be Max's room and his little spot a living room with the Xbox and the drones.

[Bobby Kelly]

Most room in the house. No square footage. Most room in the house dedicated to Max.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, you're right.

[Christine]

The drums are Bobby's too, though.

[Big J. Okerson]

The drums are mine.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you don't use them as solely for Max.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, that's not true. I used them yesterday. Yes, downstairs is playroom. Because at our old house, you remember, old house was a ranch. It was just a one level Ranch. So he had his friends over. They were in the living room. They were all over the fucking house. And I had to go hide in my bedroom to hang out if I wanted peace and quiet. Now when they come over, they're all downstairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everything is downstairs doing Christ knows what.

[Big J. Okerson]

Elizabeth. So upstairs smoking pot, they're comparing birds, not comparing birds. I told them not to do that anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was this a problem? Was comparing birds a recurring problem? Hey, stop comparing birds with everybody.

[Big J. Okerson]

Last thing you want to hear from downstairs. I don't want to see it again. Max.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's plenty.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is the shower.

[Bobby Kelly]

It doesn't taste the same.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, he had a girl over this weekend. And you were in my fucking head.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why?

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm like, doors are opened. No doors shut. And she was supposed to sleep over, too. She's a friend. Sleepover. What? What do you mean, what? You don't have kids, first of all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kids?

[Big J. Okerson]

You.

[Bobby Kelly]

Them.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't want. What? From what? I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Garbage. Trash. Mother's parents are letting her stay over at the Sun's house. No, I wish they'd be like, hey, Isabelle wants to stay over a boy's house. Like, are she moving in with them?

[Big J. Okerson]

She stayed over before, right? Yeah, they don't do anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

Watching them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't get pregnant when you're getting with 3D printed guns.

[Big J. Okerson]

She didn't wind up staying over, but I laid down the law. Look, man, no doors closed. You sleep in your room, she sleeps on the couch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Condoms?

[Big J. Okerson]

No condoms. That's not insane. I've never heard of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're right.

[Big J. Okerson]

No condom, sleeping over at a boy's house. That's never happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. No, it's constant.

[Big J. Okerson]

Were you about to say no condoms because his jizz doesn't work yet?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, just blowing out ghost loads.

[Big J. Okerson]

Go slow.

[Christine]

When I was like 13, I spent the night at my friend Junior's house all the time. But he was like. Even though he wasn't out for another year, he was clearly gay.

[Big J. Okerson]

Like, we know your guy friends were gay. We 100 know whatever guy you're talking about as a kid was a warlock and a queer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, we know.

[Big J. Okerson]

You mention it, they all had wands and capes.

[Christine]

I fucked a dog.

[Bobby Kelly]

She did a Doug. What? My. Usually. Well, first of all, I will say it was great. Norton was hilarious and so fun to hang out with. And Nikki was great. Christine and Nikki hitting it off, of course. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Why wouldn't she?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, well, it's the only two women in the house who know what it's like to have a ball bag. But no, they were. They were here. It turns out as Christine gets older, her fashion and most of her interests line up pretty good with a trans person.

[Big J. Okerson]

100%.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christine]

We both like Christmas decorations. We're talking about the Christmas section.

[Bobby Kelly]

They both love animal print clothing. They both like.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Big shoes, big old shoes, big high heels.

[Big J. Okerson]

I love you. Say that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I won't. But can we talk about when we were leaving? That was the best. That was maybe my favorite thing of the weekend because again, I don't have the experience of preteen boy at all.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I tell you something about you two, which I love you. You're just good guests. You show up, you brought a little thing, you kind of dressed up a little bit. You guys looked fantastic and you did you a crack it. You were cracking me up the whole time. You have, you know, joking and have fun. You go with Max, you go with Don. You're a, like a perfect guest over the house. You and Christine trying to take up.

[Bobby Kelly]

A lot of space. No, you just stay the way.

[Big J. Okerson]

You're so good, man. You perv. You and Christine and Norton. I love Norton and Nikki too. They've been over a lot. But you guys were great. Fantastic. I got to compliment you on that. Good house guest because some people come over and they're a little annoying. They want to do too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have to understand. Lewis sets the bar. Do you know, I mean, for everybody else you're like, well, he didn't break anything. He didn't flood my house.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. I was not on the phone the whole time making deals.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not making deals. Yeah. Angry and then happy and then screaming at somebody and wondering why you're uncomfortable now. Because somebody.

[Big J. Okerson]

He's not asking me for. Can I keep that? Can I have that? Yeah. He's not trying to walk out those things. Some of your shit. Yeah. I get a Rolex. No. Out of here. You said earlier you were actually worried about Jim Norton. There's a pattern.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was that pillow talk?

[Big J. Okerson]

Worried about Jim Norton? I'm sorry, did I. About Jim Norton. Oh, I was worried about him being Chip the whole time. That's annoying. Sleeping. Oh, well, yeah, well, this is. This is happening with Jim and I don't know what the fuck it is. And I think looking back, maybe it's a thing he eats and then he finds an area like a dog and goes to sleep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big J. Okerson]

And doesn't just go to sleep, he curls up and just. He's out. Goodbye. Doesn't say anything. To anybody just disappears and he's fucking out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Like we had to take. I usually do a Thanksgiving photo. We had to take it around his sleeping corpse.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

And didn't even wake up at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big J. Okerson]

Which is crazy to me. I mean it makes me feel good that he's comfortable enough just to fall asleep at my house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think Nikki gave him hand release or something before we moved?

[Big J. Okerson]

She gave him hand release. I think he's tuck it out from the probably, you know, road head on the way up.

[Bobby Kelly]

He has to blow her the whole.

[Big J. Okerson]

Time up while driving him.

[Bobby Kelly]

I will drive the car and you can suck my wiener. I don't think that's a good impression.

[Big J. Okerson]

But I. You know what? It's the.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't do good trans impressions. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's Finland.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I still have a weenus.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's very coming to. What is that? Trading Places. But I like it. Ah, there he is right there. We have a photo we'll put. I think we put.

[Bobby Kelly]

Max is dressed like from Scrooged. What was the David Johansson Tiny Tim get it hot, hot, hot cabbie hat.

[Big J. Okerson]

He looks like he's from Boston. He looks like he's from Boston in the 80s.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is a real Boston.

[Big J. Okerson]

That is a Boston look. Like he's gonna fucking. He's gonna finger pop Christine outside while she's not looking. He looks like Brian Johnson Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's no big deal. I just threw on a black button down shirt. Whatever.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, let me tell you something about you. You look great. You showed up, fancied it up. And I appreciate that. And I don't want to let that. I noticed you came classy. You came in no mittens.

[Bobby Kelly]

No mittens.

[Big J. Okerson]

No. Because you don't want to get gravy on the mittens.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. No. Nice watch.

[Big J. Okerson]

Nice. You had your movado. The black one, the blacked out, which I love. And you had the button down shirt. You look very fancy. Aside of Jay, I don't get to see that often.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's true.

[Big J. Okerson]

And it shows me that. You know what? I respect my friend. I respect his house. I'm going to show up and give him fancy J.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, who knows if I would have run into Ryan Reynolds up there.

[Big J. Okerson]

Do you know you don't. If we do, you don't talk to him.

[Bobby Kelly]

I won't. No, he's yours.

[Big J. Okerson]

You don't look at him.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's yours.

[Big J. Okerson]

Seriously, he's yours. He's mine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just for the record though, I share all of my celebrity friends with you. Gary Clark, Marcus King. I've shared all of these people with you, and you don't want to share Rod Reynolds with me? It's fine.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'll share them with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to get in first.

[Big J. Okerson]

Let me get in first.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gotcha.

[Big J. Okerson]

And then I'll share him with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

But not fully share.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you did play. And I don't know if you were just feeling good, riding high on emotion of all your friends being around you, but you did tell me for sure we would have at least a small parts in the next Deadpool film.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's a fact. Yeah, I'm working on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought maybe you were just dizzy from the day, but I'm gonna take your word for I'm working on it.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm working on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Could we please, please, God, tell the story of Max when we were leaving?

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, I want to ask a question before we get to that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Because that was fun.

[Bobby Kelly]

So funny.

[Big J. Okerson]

I still remember your face. But when you left because you're a couple.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mm.

[Big J. Okerson]

You. You're trying to get a house. You're getting a house, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Big J. Okerson]

When you left, what were the pros and the cons? Because, you know, you had them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, pros and cons.

[Big J. Okerson]

The conversation when you left now, because I've done it. When you leave. I like that. Oh, that was. I wouldn't know about that. What was the. What were the pros and the cons? Because we just finished the house.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think just in that regard, it was all pros. I mean, if there was cons, it was just like. I don't know if we would need to do that or what the effort of doing that would be, but, like. Because everything we liked, it was like. I was like, I wonder what the. Like, the oomph of getting, like, heated floors in a bathroom was very nice. Nice touch. But it's one of the things where you're like, do we need. You know, do we need that? If not. If we're not changing the thing.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I say something?

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no cons. It was more just like.

[Big J. Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought your fridge was awesome.

[Big J. Okerson]

Fridge is great.

[Christine]

Cons are things that, like, you guys didn't want. Like, for me, it would be no pool. But having deck was nice.

[Big J. Okerson]

We can't have a pool because there's a cemetery behind our house.

[Christine]

I know there's a cemetery, and I.

[Big J. Okerson]

Don'T want Indians taking my son into a tv.

[Christine]

And then just the.

[Big J. Okerson]

I would love a pool. You can get him back with the poltergeist. That Comes with a pool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, you can get him back with the right small, weird voiced lady. Christine is definitely someone who can probably figure out how to pull him back from the other side.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yo. Or that warlock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stay away from the light. Maximus, don't go towards the light. Actually, this house is clean.

[Christine]

When we left, we were like, well, I get why I put Max downstairs. I was like, they just wanted the upstairs for their own private. I mean, the closet room that was supposed to be Max's bedroom is like a dream come true.

[Big J. Okerson]

Do you understand? Now here's the thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

When we do it is a closet room.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's a whole bedroom. That's a closet.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's how much they don't want Max upstairs.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, you have to understand. We went from Hell's Kitchen apartment with a little closet, but not nothing. Then we went, bought the house. We sold that apartment. Bought the house. And we didn't have closet space again, nor did we have upstairs attic or basement.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right, but you do have barn doors slightly sheltering you from people watching you. Shit.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I fixed it. Yes, I fixed it. I had. I came in and I went, this has to be closed off. You need to put something here. That lock needs to be on the inside. Flip that door around. I don't want to hear or see anything. And I had him put insulation on the outside so when you shut that barn door, you can't hear anything or see inside at all. So I had him fix everything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good move.

[Big J. Okerson]

From our talk.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I had no, no cons in your house at all.

[Big J. Okerson]

But yes, the upstairs we took, it was three bedrooms. So we had the big master bedroom. We had the bedroom next to us, the bigger, other, bigger bedroom, and then the office bedroom. So Max was gonna be next to us. But then I'm like, I don't want him next to me. I'll never see my wife. Yeah, she'll be in there. She'll fall.

[Bobby Kelly]

But she has to be paying attention every time he's making some new weapon of destruction in 3D printer.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't want to hear him finger popping some.

[Bobby Kelly]

Some girl you let sleep over on a Tuesday. Hey, dad, can my girlfriend sleep over? What?

[Christine]

To be fair, you and all your siblings had girlfriends or boyfriends move into the home of age.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of age.

[Christine]

Everybody was of age.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of. No, wait, I'm like, I don't think.

[Christine]

You were of age.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I was for sure. No, me and my girlfriend were both of age at that time.

[Big J. Okerson]

So you moved into your house with your girl?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, me, no, my girl moved into sort of Moved into my house. Yeah. With my mom stuff.

[Big J. Okerson]

So you live with your mom, with your girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

And every one of my siblings has done the same exact thing. It is. But do not think, Bobby.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not coming to a. I'm not coming here with like the.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, Harris.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's weird about that? It's trashy as all hell, right? This has happened. I didn't realize it when I was living it. When I moved out of it, I was extraordinarily critical of it. I would say with my. When I go back, I'm like, yo, you're like taking care of six people when only three of your responsibility and two of them are not your responsibility anymore. Like age wise.

[Big J. Okerson]

And they're banging.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Was there kids born within the house?

[Christine]

I'm not sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, Amelia, maybe.

[Christine]

Raelynn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, for sure.

[Christine]

But my first niece, where they were living.

[Big J. Okerson]

So if there's proof of.

[Christine]

I mean, they all have kids now. But to be fair, his sisters and their husbands saved enough money by doing that to then buy a house.

[Bobby Kelly]

They did buy a house.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

The four of them.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, maybe Max will buy a house in a couple years after his girlfriend.

[Christine]

Lives with you guys.

[Big J. Okerson]

Maybe get an extension.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big J. Okerson]

Activation fees and nada.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yada yada. Only at Metro by T Mobile.

[Big J. Okerson]

Switch now bring your ID and sign.

[Bobby Kelly]

Up for a Metro Flex plan offer. Not available if currently at T Mobile.

[Big J. Okerson]

Or been with Metro in the past 180 days.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, guys, when it's time to tame the mane, don't settle for just any cut head straight to Sport Clips right now. The pros in men's hair. Have you ever checked out of Sports Clips, Bobby?

[Big J. Okerson]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sport Clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the hail Marys for the football field because Sport Clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan. To give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk. Bobby, you love guy places.

[Big J. Okerson]

I love guy talk and I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best place for me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the TV and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like sport clips. It's a game changer if you're a.

[Big J. Okerson]

Facilities manager at a university. You know, students rely on the cafeteria for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the occasional late night snack. So when a dishwasher breaks down and dirty plates pile up, the mess hall can turn messy in the blink of an eye. Enter Grainger. With over a million industrial grade products and fast delivery. The product you need now is never far away. So you can turn that dishwasher back into a lean, clean washing machine. Call click ranger.com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done.

[Bobby Kelly]

My mom, the only evidence she had when I was there at my girlfriend was one time we tried the dirtiest of dirties.

[Big J. Okerson]

You did in her butthole. Oh, I thought she did it in your butthole.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, this is the dirtiest of dirties. That's the loveliest of lovelies.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's true. I forgot.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I gave her.

[Big J. Okerson]

If you don't name your asshole that the dirtiest of dirties, will you kiss the loveliest lovelies?

[Bobby Kelly]

The loveliest of lovelies.

[Big J. Okerson]

Loveliest of lovelies.

[Bobby Kelly]

My asshole is the loveliest of lovelies. Jacob. I only took a shower like an hour and a half ago. You want to eat like you want to try a blow pop out of my butthole?

[Big J. Okerson]

I would. You'd be fine if he does.

[Bobby Kelly]

You'd be fine if he does it.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'll do it if you do it out of mind, it's gonna taste like pennies.

[Bobby Kelly]

Guys, let's load a bunch of them up there. Like a bunch of popsicle sticks just sticking out of my ass crossed over and you gotta grab one and every time you get to watch the hole, like spit it out.

[Big J. Okerson]

How do we do this? You stick a trust one popsicle stick up your asshole and then you put five others on a plate and we have to guess which one by smell, touch and taste.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what, you're gonna be able to tell which one's which because you're gonna be like, dude, that smells like lotion and preventative hemorrhoidal creams and all Kinds of delightful things, for sure. Ozempic. I don't think that falls out of my ass.

[Big J. Okerson]

It does.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, that was great. You know what, buddy? Pivot.

[Big J. Okerson]

The first pivot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look how good I'm getting at throwing these things. You didn't want it. Is that a protest?

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I do not. A protest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

The first. First pivot of the Christmas season.

[Bobby Kelly]

First pivot of the Christmas season. That's true.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's the Advent calendar. Pivot day one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine. You know what? I am feeling gracious and I'm feeling generous, and it's the holiday season. Christine, you are now dead even.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

You stand at zero pivot. You were out of pivot debt, Christine.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, you're the best man. You are the king. I thought. I thought you'd get a little more out of her for that.

[Christine]

I mean, I didn't want to. I didn't want to over celebrate myself and make it ugly and have to lose a pivot.

[Bobby Kelly]

It gets ugly. I'll tell you what. If you start rubbing in people's faces, I don't like that kind of teamwork. I like that. And you'd lose a pivot.

[Big J. Okerson]

What? A good audible switch on the fly. I'm happy for you.

[Christine]

Thanks, Jacob. I'm happy for me, too. As we all know, the negative pivots carry over.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, it does carry over. Over the weekend and goes on forever. And now you're out.

[Christine]

Now I'm at zero.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. You are no longer in pivot purgatory, Christine. You have risen up like the Phoenix.

[Big J. Okerson]

So. So my house. Back to my house. The reason why you understand now that we were like, we don't have it. We've never had a closet. I was like, let's just make a doorway here. Make this room a walk in closet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

So we had the walk in closet. People come. There's a company, and they charge like $6,000. We had them come draw up the plan, and we were like, yeah, we're out. And then we took the planet and Don just went and bought the stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Unscrupulous.

[Big J. Okerson]

Saved thousands.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, man, what a rip.

[Big J. Okerson]

Then we had our contractor build the closet, right? And now we have a walk in closet. That is a room. There's no.

[Christine]

You can put a bench in the middle.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm putting a chair in there. I'm gonna make a little reading room. I'm gonna start reading. What, at 54?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you're not.

[Big J. Okerson]

I am. I do. I have a book which is going.

[Bobby Kelly]

To be called the Chair eventually.

[Big J. Okerson]

It is Not. It's going to be called the reading chair.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not though.

[Big J. Okerson]

And I'm going to start. I'm going to learn Spanish and reading.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're going to learn how to read.

[Christine]

You're going to doom scroll in that chair.

[Big J. Okerson]

So, so funny. When I told Don, I go, don, I want to put a chair in here with a lamp. I want, you know, come in here and read. She goes, who? I went, me. She goes, okay, all right.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's how we all feel.

[Big J. Okerson]

You don't know that. Dude, I'm starting to read more.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's how I think Christine feels when I go, yeah, we got to get some gym equipment in the garage. Like. Yeah, that'll start. That'll start you working.

[Big J. Okerson]

But that's why we did upstairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

By the way, he's got a cologne wall.

[Big J. Okerson]

How good is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, it's nice.

[Big J. Okerson]

Isn't that nice?

[Bobby Kelly]

Whole thing was nice. I mean, how good was inarguable? House.

[Big J. Okerson]

Best part of the house.

[Bobby Kelly]

To me.

[Big J. Okerson]

To you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kitchen is great. Kitchen's really nice.

[Big J. Okerson]

Kitchen's nice. The microwave that goes inside the island.

[Bobby Kelly]

Big fan of that. Big fan of the microwave that comes out of the bottom.

[Big J. Okerson]

Push a basement, right? You push a button. The basement? No, upstairs. Oh, kitchen is upstairs. We're excluding the basement.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. They're building. Bobby's building a dumb waiter, though, so they could just send food down the house.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm actually. I'm going to send Don down.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is a dumb waiter.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, thanks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have a dumb waiter in my house too. Christine, you dumb waiter.

[Big J. Okerson]

Ah, ricocheted onto you all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get it today.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, Monday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Get it on Monday.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. So you say the kitchen, not the bathroom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bathrooms. No, you know what it is? The bathroom. I'll tell you why. Personal reasons. The bathroom that the speaker slash light you have above the speaker is very cool, but speaker in a bathroom, I could see it was that goddamn light. Yeah, the multiple color light that you can dim. That wouldn't make me not have to.

[Big J. Okerson]

Be naked in darkness.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, in pitch black, with a cell phone light, it would change now to like a light blue hue.

[Big J. Okerson]

Guess what? Guess what you're getting when you get your house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Severe debt.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yep. Okay, guess what else you're getting?

[Bobby Kelly]

New anxieties.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yep. Absolutely. Guess what else you're getting.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. Christine going stir crazy in a house by herself.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, she can actually have that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine getting shining's disease. Whatever. Christine. I just saw the computer. Paper says all work and no play makes Christine a dull girl. Is that should we talk to somebody about this or is this something you want to handle with me?

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm going to get you one of those lights for your bathroom. All you got to do is have your contractor, which you have to get.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have that. A contractor.

[Big J. Okerson]

You're going to get one. You have to get one because there's going to be a couple of things you're going to want to change. Get the guy put it, it's two seconds, he puts it in, hooks it up. It's just a fan for the bathroom, but it's got the Bluetooth speaker and the light. That light that changes whatever color you want.

[Bobby Kelly]

That light.

[Big J. Okerson]

But how was the shower? I mean, come on, the shower, it's beautiful. I mean we could all shower together.

[Bobby Kelly]

We should have this whole show.

[Big J. Okerson]

Could show. We should do a bonfire from the shower.

[Bobby Kelly]

You guys would have been judging though, when I was looking at Norton's wife's huge.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wouldn't have even been shy about it. I would just stare the whole time.

[Big J. Okerson]

Judging me as I was on my knees in front of her telling not, don't look.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would have been not judging Norton while he was nodding at you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, Bobby, suck it, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we talk about leaving?

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, here we go.

[Bobby Kelly]

This made me laugh. So I told this so much this weekend. It's such a funny. I saw Tim Butter. Tim Butter was me this weekend. We were talking because you know he has teenage, teenage son.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Older than Max even. And he has jokes even about that. Like I think, what does he say? He goes, living with his like 15 year old boy is like living with a roommate who you constantly are in fear of catching jerking off. But Max. So me and Christine were leaving, it was about 8:00 or so. Me and Christine were just about had to get ready to leave. So but before we even said, you know, I think we said like internally to like Bobby's that we're going to take off pretty soon. And then Max just makes, he just makes a full room announcement. He goes, or to me and Christine, he comes up, he goes, hey guys. He goes, I don't know if you'll be here in a little bit. I'm gonna go to sleep. It's 8:00. He goes, I'm probably gonna go to sleep. He goes, who knows though, I may be up in like 20 minutes or something. Like I might even be back up. We'll see. Like, we'll see if it happens. So, you know, we say goodbye to him and then just look over at Bobby and I was like, yeah, boy. And Bobby goes. Bobby goes. He goes, all right, Max. He goes, have fun, kid. Which is so benign, you know? I mean, he goes, all right, Max. Have fun, kid. And Max starts doing. And then he starts doing the over explain. Like, he doesn't want to think the jig is up on this. So he turns around, he's going down the stairs. It was almost over. He was almost gonna go downstairs and do Christ knows what to his who knows what. But as he's going downstairs, he's like, have fun, kid. And he starts doing, like, the. What do you mean, how could I have fun? Like, I'm just gonna be sleeping. Like, sleeping's not fun. And who knows? I might even be back in 20 minutes. And I'm like. I'm just. Smile at Bobby and nod. And I'm like, yeah, he is. And Bobby's laughing. He's like, why is everybody laughing? Like, what's so fun about sleeping? I don't understand how I can f. And then dawn just finally goes, max, leave it alone. And then Bobby's like, leave it alone. Max is like, I just don't understand why you. Why you guys would think I'm not doing what you think I'm doing. Like, I just. Like, I get tired, so it's like, maybe I'll be back in 20 minutes. So Max goes to his room.

[Big J. Okerson]

But Jay. You understand Jay, when he made the announcement, Jay's walking up the stairs, and he just walks by me, and his. He just looks at me, and his eyebrows just go.

[Bobby Kelly]

There he goes.

[Big J. Okerson]

There he goes.

[Bobby Kelly]

There he goes.

[Big J. Okerson]

So perfect.

[Bobby Kelly]

He goes. It was calling, dude. He was getting bored. Yeah, I think max is. He's 11 years old. I think Max left to whack it during dinner. I think he left to whack it slightly after dinner and then. And then after the meal. If I had to count the times that Max just vanished somehow. And they're like, where Bobby. He was going at dinner. He left his food on his plate. And Bobby goes down somewhere. He goes. He's wrapped up in a blanket, sitting in front of the fireplace or something. Where was he wrapped up?

[Big J. Okerson]

We have the TV in the bedroom, and I had. We put a fireplace on, so it just looks, like, a little cheesy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

And he went in there and just was in there, wrapped in the blanket in front of the fireplace. I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

He just molested himself. He's not over it yet.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, he does take a. He's been taking a lot of showers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn right he is. They're gonna get longer and longer. I'll tell you what. Or shorter and shorter. The more gets better at it.

[Big J. Okerson]

And we have a thing on the shower upstairs. On one, on the wand, because we have the four shower heads. And the wand has a. It's called a mist spray, where it just mists out warm water. And that's always on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Always. Anytime I. Oh, when he gets out.

[Big J. Okerson]

When he gets out. That's the one he's using.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think he's missing his butthole while he's getting that advanced?

[Big J. Okerson]

I think he's missing something, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think he's super advanced and is misting his own asshole now?

[Big J. Okerson]

He's been taking a lot of showers.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's great. Yeah. So clean.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, I bet.

[Bobby Kelly]

I bet his bird is smooth as silk. But this is the best part. So this caught Bobby. It made Bobby laugh. Poor Max. Because it's all happening around Max, and he's not going to stop. He wants to do what he wants to do, and we all understand that as dudes, but, you know, she was trying to keep it cool. And then when he heard me, Christine and Norton and everybody walking out the door, magically, after his 15 minutes, he emerges again. He goes, hey, you guys leaving? And I was like, knuckles, because he came out like this. He's like, hey, you guys leaving? I was like, knuckle pound. And Bobby. Bobby just started laughing. And Max just feel funny because Max knows exactly what's going on. He's not a dumb kid by any stretch, so he's wildly aware of what's going on. The jokes that are kind of like flying around the room and still trying to keep his cool. So it's like a knuckle pan. He's like, why is that funny, Dad? I don't understand. Why are you laughing at. And I could be able to. He's like, why is that funny? And I'm almost looking at Max like, I'm just giving you a knuckle pound, dude.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, he's. He's touching his. To make.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. If not, dude, that handshake would have stayed connected until I got to my car. He goes, max, I'll see you later. This is like the string break, Bobby. You had to go out there and karate chop that load string.

[Big J. Okerson]

And we actually have scissors by the door.

[Bobby Kelly]

Casey's Dragon.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, Casey's Dragon. Let me get that for you, Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the drag on that thing? Oh, hey, J. Let me cut this off for you real quick. Oh, you. You had a load attached to your hand. Let me get that. There you go.

[Big J. Okerson]

This the load. Scissors. Throw the rest on the tree up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just rub the rest of the tree. It's good for. I think. Oh, poor Maximus. Poor Maximus.

[Big J. Okerson]

It was a good Thanksgiving, though. And here's a great Thanksgiving. Here's the thing too is you, everybody. I love when people come over the house, but they leave at the right time. That's always a great. Like, you guys were like, all right, we gotta go. But then Norton and Nikki were like, we're gonna go too. And it was like the perfect, you know, I mean, like you still had.

[Bobby Kelly]

A couple hours if you guys wanted to just like family, watch a movie or something or you and dawn while Max goes down for round four.

[Big J. Okerson]

He did disappear again.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, of course.

[Big J. Okerson]

He said he worked out and then took a shower.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, he gave me. So now that I'm realizing he gave me so many points of detail of his day that I have to assume all of them were jerking off, he's like, I did a pretty tough like full hour workout today. And I was like, oh, jerking off. And he's like, then I did about a half hour in the sauna, like, smacked it in there.

[Big J. Okerson]

He better not be jerking off in my sauna.

[Bobby Kelly]

He slapping in your sauna for sure.

[Big J. Okerson]

Better not be jerking off in my sauna.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sweet, natural lube of sweat.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm gonna have to go down there and catch him. That's my. That's my worst fear.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your son covered in red light, whacking off in a tube.

[Big J. Okerson]

The saunas in the back I made in the garage. In the garage. I put the sauna in the little gym area because the garage is like heated because the heating system is in the garage. So it's not. It's really nice and hot. Warm. It's warm all the time in there. So I put. I'm putting a gym inside there. I put a little bit of a gym, but it's going to be a bigger. It's the whole end of the basement is going to be the sauna and a big gym in there to work out. So I worked out today for the first time.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the bottom half of the house is one man's jerk dream.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, he's got a brand new bathroom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh my God. Can you imagine watching Pornography on a 90 inch screen Television right in front of you? You have to get monster cleaner for that screen, dude. You're not going to want to wipe that down with Windex.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, I don't know, dude, I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

By the way, I said I completely. I Think it's hilarious. But I also sympathize. Or sympathize would be the word because I. I can't empathize with it. I didn't have Isabella night and me and her mom split when she was 12.

[Big J. Okerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

At this before you was definitely before having to worry about like noticing any.

[Big J. Okerson]

Of that or seeing Being late at night hearing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Then find out I left my. It was me. I left my vibrator on in your ass. In my own.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. It is a weird thing because I don't. I don't remember. I didn't have anybody in my life ever talk to me about sex, talk to me about penis, masturbation, any of that shit. So I don't have a guideline to go on. And my father, who I would probably call my stepdad Larry, is dead. He died a few years ago. So he was the guy that I would. I was going to go to to ask him questions about stupid stuff like this. And then of course, my real dad.

[Bobby Kelly]

He just showed you he.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I never saw him.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you want to grab it like this or else you're a weirdo.

[Big J. Okerson]

I still don't talk to him. So it's like, who do. I can't. It's not like I go to Colin. I have no, you know, I can't go to. None of my friends have boys.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would love for one of your friends to burn you. Like when you have an emotional talk with them and they're just wa to tell other people about it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Exactly.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do I tell Max about Master?

[Big J. Okerson]

Lewis has a kid, but same age though.

[Christine]

And you guys are both like, first. So you guys are actually going through this.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, but Lewis will bring it up on a podcast. Dude, Bobby called me about Max jerking off and I don't. I don't trust him to have that conversation.

[Bobby Kelly]

With Max.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, about Max.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, he'll.

[Big J. Okerson]

He'll use it for fodder on a show. If he panics and doesn't have something funny to say, he like, you know what I mean? If we're on the rags in it.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have a. J. Lewis's son is smacking it too.

[Big J. Okerson]

To what?

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh?

[Big J. Okerson]

To what?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he's got the memories of a thousand dum dums who Lewis has brought through.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, but he lives.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if he goes to his dad's phone for five seconds, I'm sure he could find horrible, horrible things.

[Big J. Okerson]

But I. He lives with B too, and she's very strict and James is very. I don't know I don't know. I think. I don't know. Max is it. Max is more of a dude. Do you know what I mean? Max is. James is kind of proper, a little more polite dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

You find out that you can pull your own pud. You do it. You realize God gave you a gift.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it'd be not right to the world to not share that gift.

[Big J. Okerson]

He does have a gift.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, this kid, he's got a. His foot's an 11 now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Is that why he keeps whipping it out? Show off.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's a size 11 foot.

[Big J. Okerson]

He's a size 11. We had to go get it. He. He had wrestling today for the first time.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no correlation, by the way, between penis size and foot size.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, he's got a piece.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that, dude. That should be something that makes Christine hide from me at night.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. You got a big. Jay's holding his huge boot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J. Okerson]

On the table. Which is a big foot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. And I'm telling you that I can fit a Costco amount of my dicks inside this boot.

[Big J. Okerson]

Here's the problem, dude. You've never been.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, you would never run out of my dicks. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

But you had.

[Bobby Kelly]

You had as many dicks as I could fit into this boot right here.

[Big J. Okerson]

I bet you have a big dick. You just like me. We have to get the chub around it, away from it.

[Bobby Kelly]

When are we going to get our crowdfunded surgeries?

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

One day. We have to set up that GoFundMe for me and yours.

[Big J. Okerson]

Let's set up after Christmas. I think this. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I think this is the time to ask.

[Big J. Okerson]

You think this is the time to ask.

[Bobby Kelly]

People are having their hardest financial times. We asked them to dig a little bit deeper and give generously, generously to the bonfires. Bush fat. Bush fat reduction removal surgery.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. We need double.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just want it out.

[Big J. Okerson]

We double double bush fat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Double bush fat.

[Big J. Okerson]

Double bush fat.

[Bobby Kelly]

We will hold hands the entire time.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to count backwards from 10 together on opposite tables and we'll videotape the whole thing.

[Big J. Okerson]

And here's the thing. We'll put it live on the YouTube page for subscribers. And we're also punch up our punch up. We have punch up live up on there because it's uncensored.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Also, you're the boss over there, so no one's gonna ever get shit over there.

[Big J. Okerson]

I like true classic and I like punch up to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. That's why you got into ground Level, Dude. You're like Kevin Hart, dude. You're a mogul. A lot of people know Bobby Kelly's a mogul. Bobby got him ground level at Punch Up Live. And what else?

[Big J. Okerson]

True Classics.

[Bobby Kelly]

True Classics.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm wearing True Classic underwear shirts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Big J. Okerson]

And hoodie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Big J. Okerson]

He is so comfortable. And it's really good material.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. If you use the promo code Kelly, you're going to get 30% off your order with shipping in time for Christmas.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's actually, dude, 15% off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Use code. Dude.

[Big J. Okerson]

Dude. I was so happy you guys came over. Really, it was a beautiful Thanksgiving. Really perfect.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I had a plan. We had such a good time.

[Big J. Okerson]

You guys are the first guests.

[Bobby Kelly]

You are out there. You're up there, though.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not. It's not. Not a hike. I know something you can get used to. I. We used to drive from Philly every day. I mean, that was insane.

[Big J. Okerson]

I've been driving. I drove most of that way for the last 10 years. So it's only 20 more minutes. Minutes for me. So it's. It's nothing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

But for you. But you're gonna. You're gonna have to do it, too. You're gonna have to get used to it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But when you do 30 something minutes.

[Big J. Okerson]

Away, when you do move to Westchester, you do lie about 20 minutes. So you say it's 35 minutes, but it's 45, 50, maybe an hour.

[Bobby Kelly]

Probably an hour.

[Big J. Okerson]

Probably an hour and a half.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a solid hour.

[Big J. Okerson]

I live in Connecticut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Giannis. Giannis and versus Versi both. They give it to you. They stopped doing the I'm closer than you'd think lie.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they both just laid out now. And it sounds crushing when you ask them. I go, yeah, that's great, because how are you, Like, a nice area? How far are you from the city? He's like, hour and a half. No traffic.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I was like, jesus christ.

[Big J. Okerson]

No traffic 25 minutes further than me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

You have to go one more exit up and then 20 minutes that way, which I would.

[Bobby Kelly]

That would put you at about 42 minutes.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

By. I'm going by Bobby Math, it would have been 43.

[Big J. Okerson]

43. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But once you get past the GW, honestly, it's like 10 miles away.

[Christine]

And my favorite was stay in the left lane as much as possible.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. We drove through clouds. We were up so high.

[Big J. Okerson]

I just didn't want you guys to get discouraged and go, dude, we can't do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

My ears popped. I got dizzy My voice echoed.

[Christine]

No, we just, honestly. Because we were running late on a 45 minute commute and then we saw it was going to be like an hour 20.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And we're like, okay, well, now we're really late.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, I go, obviously. No, we're late because of your lies. Because you were goddamn.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's quicker like on the weekend though. It's only like 35 minutes on the weekends.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

No traffic.

[Christine]

Yeah, no traffic getting in and out of Manhattan.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a little quicker when no one's awake. If you came up at 4 in the morning. Smooth sailing.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I ask a question, though? Will you guys come up again?

[Bobby Kelly]

Of course.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, good. It wasn't like that bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

But only if there's. There's got to be a trans in the house. Doesn't that be Norton's wife?

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, yeah, no, we always have a trans in the house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J. Okerson]

We never not have a trans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. You could just hire one off Craigslist if there's not one available to you.

[Big J. Okerson]

There's a new app.

[Bobby Kelly]

I need a party trans.

[Big J. Okerson]

There's a Starbucks app.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can keep the party going. We gotta take Norton, by the way, dressed sultry.

[Big J. Okerson]

She's gorgeous.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sultry.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. She's very pretty.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right below her butt. That skirt came.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, that'd be. Sorry, Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Looks like we're a fucking frump now compared to her. Real nice, Christine.

[Big J. Okerson]

You look fantastic, Christine. Don't let him say that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know, Christine, but no matter what you put on, there's still always going to be a stupid pussy in your panties. And that's just something I'm going to have to get used to.

[Big J. Okerson]

He makes a valid point. I mean, there was.

[Christine]

I apologize.

[Big J. Okerson]

There was a really energy going on knowing that there was something over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Big J. Okerson]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. And then, Christine, you just have a dumb vagina. There's no excitement or surprise when your underwear comes off.

[Big J. Okerson]

Get a regular size shoe at the door.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Your girl shoes are girl sizes. No one complains if you compete in women's sports. God damn it. Well, let me tell you something about Robert Kelly, everybody.

[Big J. Okerson]

Tell me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Robert Dan Soder, Joe Lift. Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yep.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? Riff raff when you say them all out loud like that.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, they're going to be doing the Gramercy Theater with the rags on December 11, everybody. And then after that the Beacon. Oh, Beacon.

[Big J. Okerson]

Beacon, New York. I'm doing a theater up in Beacon.

[Bobby Kelly]

N.Y. kansas City and Batavia, Illinois. And of course you can catch Bobby. Every Tuesday night, 7pm the fat black Pussycat Lounge. The Comedy Cellar. For tickets and all tour dates, visit. Punch Up.

[Big J. Okerson]

Make sure you go to Big J Oakeson. Punch up Big J comedy.com and Big J Punchup lives. Big J Okerson. Big J is going to be a New York comedy club in Stanford. Love that club. This Sunday, December.

[Bobby Kelly]

I might stop by day after my birthday.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I stop by? Yes, sir. One show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is there only one show? No.

[Big J. Okerson]

Now you're complaining about one show.

[Bobby Kelly]

They condensed them. Hilarious.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I come by?

[Bobby Kelly]

I like finding out in real time that I'm not selling tickets.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's only five minutes away from my house.

[Bobby Kelly]

Come. Dude. Want to do a half hour?

[Big J. Okerson]

I know I don't do half hour. It's this Sunday night. One show combined. After that, he's going to be in St. Louis, West Palm Beach, Providence for tickets and all of the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't announce how many shows are at those ones because there's going to be shows.

[Big J. Okerson]

There's going to be.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then if the one you're at doesn't happen, then just know you were the only asshole about tickets for that.

[Big J. Okerson]

You were condensed.

[Bobby Kelly]

You've been condensed.

[Big J. Okerson]

Make sure you go to comic wearables.com. all of our merch up there. Bonfire merch is 15% off if you use the code word Santa right now. What a great gift. Bonfire hoodie. We got all kinds of great stuff up there. Make sure you check them out and get some stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

A couple announcements, too. I want to say Story wars is going to be moving times at the Stand. So December is going to be a little wonky. We're going to be doing some Sundays and I think a Thursday here and there to make sure we get the episodes in every week. And then we'll be back to normal. But we're going to be moving to an earlier time. Good for Story Wars Live. Yeah, it.

[Big J. Okerson]

I was falling asleep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. It starts late and it's 10:30. It's a late show.

[Big J. Okerson]

I did have fun, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the Stand, it's a bit of a war, but I think we're gonna fix it.

[Big J. Okerson]

And make sure you go in the 17th at the Fat Black Pussycat. Is it sold out yet?

[Christine]

Almost.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's almost sold out. There's a few tickets left, so get that. We have very special. I mean, very special guests. I am so excited about this show. Who's going to be there?

[Bobby Kelly]

Matt Rife?

[Big J. Okerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, we couldn't get him.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's still. He's getting back to us this week.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dane Cook reunion is Dane Cook and.

[Big J. Okerson]

Matt Rife showing up? Did you get in touch with him? We're contractually not allowed to say that. Okay, great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

Love that. Good answer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Surprise guess.

[Big J. Okerson]

Surprise guess ain't a We're gonna have a ass off. Not a face off. Can't do that anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Make sure you check out our podcast rate review like follow Us if you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Could hear love, what would it sound like?

[Bobby Kelly]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, Dad, I think we should helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. [e-mail] An OHA initiative at Amica Insurance.

[Bobby Kelly]

We know it's more than just a car.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback that took you cross country and back.

[Bobby Kelly]

And the minivan that tackles the weekly.

[Big J. Okerson]

Carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Amica Auto Insurance Amica empathy is our best policy.