Magic with Luis & James Gomez

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Magic with Luis & James Gomez

Date: June 4, 2026
Guests: Louis J. Gomez, James Gomez (Louis’s son), Chris Distefano
Summary by The Bonfire Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

This episode was set up to be a lighthearted, magic-focused installment featuring mentalist Oz Perlman and plenty of banter between hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, with guests Louis J. Gomez, his teenage son James ("Baby James"), and Chris Distefano. However, chaos quickly derails the agenda as a real-life tech disaster sends their magic guest fleeing the studio in a panic, leaving the comics to riff about failed tricks, their own relationship with magic, and, inevitably, anything else on their minds. The show captures The Bonfire’s hallmark: unscripted comedy, quick recoveries, and a relentless chase for memorable moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Chaotic (and Hilarious) Start

• The episode kicks off with playful banter about magic-themed songs (01:13).
  • Big Jay wants more energy: “Let’s punch something, get something a little more oomph. We’re looking for magic songs.” (01:17)
  • The crew debates Olivia Newton-John, Grease, and Xanadu hits for their entrance.
• Light teasing over wardrobe and accents follows, setting a playful tone (01:41–02:15).

2. Guest Crisis: The Great SIM Swap

• Planned mentalist guest Oz Perlman arrives but immediately encounters a real-world disaster: someone has stolen his SIM card. (05:00+)
  • Big Jay: “Got a bad news. Somebody stole his SIM card at Verizon just now.” (05:13)
  • Chris Distefano explains the severity and personal panic involved in a SIM swap: “He said somebody did a SIM swap. ... He’s like, his life’s about to fall apart.” (09:18)
• Oz leaves abruptly, unable to perform mentalism with his mind in disarray, which becomes a running bit throughout the show.
  • Louis J. Gomez: “He left? … He said this is an emergency. He's very sorry.” (11:59)

3. ‘Baby James’ Steals the Show

• Louis’s son James joins on mic, sharing about his school life and shows surprising maturity handling the surrounding chaos (06:35–08:10).
  • Big Jay (joking): “I really wish I didn’t put off molesting him so long… Now he knows jiu jitsu.” (06:08)
• James gets involved in impromptu magic/mentalism games with the comics:
  • Louis attempts to mind-read James’s “favorite card”; the bit bombs. (“It’s a king of hearts.”—Nope; 15:15)
  • Big Jay does better guessing a number between 1 and 20 (he hits 14, correctly; 15:43).

4. Magic, Mentalism & Skepticism

• They reflect on mentalism, magic, and their own attempts:
  • Chris describes an actual Oz Perlman trick involving Ari Shaffir (“think of any person alive or dead… Abraham Lincoln!” 16:41), and admits “it was insane.”
  • The group debates the psychology and technical sleights behind magic and mentalism (17:29–18:10).
• Skepticism surfaces as they playfully “debunk” one another's magic, sharing favorite tricks and how knowing the methods rarely ruins the fun for true fans.
  • Big Jay: “I love magic … but I do also kind of see how it’s done. … Still equally impressed by the skill to do it.” (36:38)
  • Chris: “Even if you know how they’re doing it, it was beautiful. … Penn & Teller would show you and it's still amazing.” (35:57)

5. Comedy Derailed, But Not Defeated

• With their celebrity mentalist vanished, the comics riff freely:
  • Parenting (James on having a mustache and using ChatGPT as a fact-checker—21:34).
  • Phone nostalgia: Sidekicks, Blackberries, flip cameras, and the horror at losing data and secrets if hacked (19:01–20:00).
  • The difference between podcasts and live radio—equipment, staff size, and the unique mess of being on satellite radio (12:28–13:13).
• A running meta-joke: “I wish I could say the F word right now.” (04:01)
• Fan moments: Behind the scenes At Z Rock, anecdotes about porn stars on set (20:32).

6. Celebrity Boxing & the Art of the Comeback

• Tangent into the world of celebrity boxing—notably Ray J’s suspicious fight and the general sadness of former stars fighting for cash and relevance (40:02–44:53).
  • Jay: “You see Danny Bonaduce ... fighting somebody, it’s for money.”
  • Louis: “The come down. So when it’s the come down of the career…” (46:46)
• They reminisce on the lowlights of Screech vs. Horshack, failed matches, and the brutality of washed-up stars slugging it out (46:17–46:46).

7. Producer Fights & Human Piñata

• Fantasizing about guest “Skank Fest” events: human piñata boxing matches, staff-on-staff throwdowns, and two-pinata challenges (50:01–52:32).
  • Chris: “You want to see who can beat the piñata?” (50:34)
  • Jay: “I’d rather just fight another fat person first.” (52:19)
• Light-hearted trash talk about bodily injuries and preposterous boxing match-ups.

8. Plastic Surgery, Boob Jobs & Relationship Politics

• Deep dive into plastic surgery anecdotes: Shannon’s aging implants, Dawn’s “free” boobs, horror stories from botched cosmetic procedures (55:02+).
  • Chris: "Shannon needs new tits bad. ... They become, like, toxic to your body." (54:26)
  • Louis: “The guy who did them had a fetish of making the tits too big… He would make them so big that the nipple wouldn’t heal back on…” (55:41)
• Discussing how partners "support" cosmetic choices, male fascination (and ambivalence) with implants, and the fine line between honesty and encouragement in relationships. (59:06–60:22)
  • Jay: “There’s just no real... You have to disagree. If she goes, ‘I was thinking about getting them out…’ you can’t say, ‘No, get other ones!’” (59:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Let's punch something, get something a little more oomph. We're looking for magic songs."
  — Big Jay Oakerson (01:17)

• "Somebody stole his SIM card at Verizon just now. So he's dealing with an emergency."
  — Big Jay Oakerson (05:13)

• "I really wish I didn't put off molesting him so long. ... Now he knows Jiu Jitsu."
  — Big Jay Oakerson, deadpan, about Louis’s now-grown son (06:08)

• "His life's about to fall apart."
  — Chris Distefano on Oz Perlman's hacker crisis (09:18)

• "I can't believe his voice. His voice is so deep... Look how tall he is...I know, I really wish I didn't put off molesting him so long."
  — Banter between Jay and Louis, hammering the show's off-color humor (06:02–06:11)

• "Jesus Christ, well, he also was like ... All my dick pics, dude!"
  — Big Jay, making fun of anxiety over hackers and phone privacy (11:24)

• "I would rather lose all the money in my bank account than let somebody have access to everything that's in my phone."
  — Chris Distefano (18:49)
  Timestamps:

  • SIM swap crisis begins: 05:00
  • Magic bit fails: 15:10–15:18
  • Jay guesses 14: 15:39–15:44
  • Oz Perlman referenced in Ari story: 16:41
  • Mentalism method discussion: 27:00+
  • Sidekick nostalgia: 20:32

• "I love magic. … Even if you know how they're doing it, it was beautiful."
  — Chris Distefano praising Penn & Teller (35:57)

• "We have beards to give the illusion of jawlines."
  — Big Jay, self-deprecating amidst a discussion on illusions (24:01)

• "You know, they start drugging girls so young now."
  — The group, pushing the outrageous envelope as they riff on dark jokes (39:45)

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Noteworthy Segments with Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | Brief Description | |----------------------------------------|--------------|--------------------------------| | Magic music and Mood | 01:13–02:15 | Joking about “magic” songs | | Oz Perlman’s SIM Swap Meltdown | 05:00–12:14 | Tech panic derails magic plans | | Louis Tries a “Mind Reading” Trick | 15:10–15:18 | Mentalism joke falls flat | | Big Jay’s Number Guessing Game | 15:39–15:44 | Jay nails it with “14” | | Celebrity Boxing/Jay vs. Bobby talk | 40:02–44:53 | Comedy, fighting & careers | | Human Piñata/Producer Fight Ideas | 50:01–52:32 | Absurd event planning | | Plastic Surgery, Implants, Boob Jokes | 54:26–60:22 | Wild stories/debate |

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Loose, interactive, and irreverent—No topic is off limits, with the crew pivoting expertly from failed plans to highly specific, dark, and sometimes gross comedic riffs.
• Balancing the profane with the sincere—Despite the outrageous jokes, there are genuine moments: James displaying surprising maturity; everyone’s candid talks about privacy, anxiety, and growing up.
• Crowd-pleasing chaos—A planned “magic” episode ruined by real-life emergency becomes, itself, a hilarious showcase of the show’s strengths.

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Final Notes

Magic never quite happened—but in typical Bonfire style, the ride was unexpected and packed with laughter. From traumatic tech fails to old-school celebrity boxing to plastic-surgery-gone-wrong, the gang's chemistry—spiced by the presence of Louis’s unflappable teen son—ensured a memorable mix of wild tangents, raw vulnerability, and rapid-fire punchlines.

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For fans and newcomers alike: Even when everything goes wrong, The Bonfire brings the funny.

Transcript

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Grainger knows.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to

[Louis J. Gomez]

see through walls and around corners.

[Chris Distefano]

Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24.

[Chris Distefano]

7 support.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you switch to Geico, you've got claims wraps available around the clock.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So whenever you need, you'll have people around to help.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It kind of feels like having the

[Louis J. Gomez]

TV on in the background when you're home alone. Isn't that soothing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It feels good to have support. It feels good to Geico.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ. I forgot we were. I didn't realize this was the opening song of the show. This is zero energy. It's my fault, Lou. You're right. That's Jim's fault. Big Jim jammed us up outside singing our praises.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Basically telling us we run this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I just took a bite of my protein bar. I didn't know we were starting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the song didn't feel like we were starting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it was. It lulled me into a sense of serenity.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's punch something, get something a little more oomph. We're looking for magic songs. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, magic man. I know you're thinking it's a low hanging fruit on that one, but I mean, it's. At least it's got a little oof to it. I would have even accepted Olivia Newton John's have To Believe We Are Magic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I like that. I'd rather hear Olivia.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, pop on a little. Have to believe we are magic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I like that. I like Xanadu, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Before physical.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, let's. I didn't know. I didn't know that was the question. I do like physical physicals.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, so Xanadu, I name that down the list. Then I start going into Grease songs before I get to Xanadu.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But this right here. Come take my hand. You are me Always been in your eyes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You think they did it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know I will be kind I'll be guiding. Now there's no other. I want him to come in now so I can lick his body to this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's no, man, she's from us. She's an Aussie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That was good what you just did.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thanks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like your vampire collar flip today, by the way.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I put the jacket on and I didn't put it back down. I felt it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I like should have. Yeah, I like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thanks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're prepared for the rain and looking badass. You could have double Desert Eagles under the. Oh, hang on, Bobby, if you excuse me a second, I got hit my falsetta real quick. Lou, if you could please turn that up.

[Chris Distefano]

Destiny will arise Bring all your dreams alive

[Louis J. Gomez]

for you so many hours in

[Big Jay Oakerson]

the car alone oh, Black Lou, thank you for filming that. That was a great moment. You're right. We gotta start picking good moments for our stories. I watch our stories sometimes. It's just like me and you talking sort of in the middle of something.

[Chris Distefano]

What is this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why are we putting this up? No reason to over post. I say turn it up again. Lou. Lou, get that camera out. These are the moments, you know? God, I wish that's a video.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I wish I could say the F word right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? Fantastic. Fabulous. You can. Yes. Catch me when you fall. What does my friend Jamie think about this?

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you, Jamie. Have to believe we are magic. Nothing can stand in our way.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I hope. I hope DL Gets this clip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me too. Me too. Make sure you get my fingernails.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I told you. I told you this. Pink nail polish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get my fat Lou. Get my fat belly and nail polish in it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, God. Why does your torso look so long?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Except where my pants low.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Here we go. No, look at this kid. Oh, look at this Baby James. Baby James is in the house. Got a bad news. Somebody stole his SIM card at Verizon just now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So he's dealing with an emergency.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you think? Who do you think?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that true?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know. He walked out with Lewis and I thought they got lost and Paco went to find. Yeah, so that's why he's in a

[James (Louis's son)]

bit of an emergency right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's using Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All part of it. This is all part of it. He's on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he looked actually stressed, Jay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's on Lewis. He's going through some texts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, hang on. I'm dealing with an emergency right now. And now they're working it all out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, look, James is in on it. James, you're in on it, huh? Get over here, James. Get on that mic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did they say?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe James is here.

[James (Louis's son)]

It's really true that the someone, like, made his phone go dead, so now he's trying to figure it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't believe what he's saying. This kid's a musical theater. He's got the chops. He's got the acting chops.

[James (Louis's son)]

Look how smarter that is.

[Chris Distefano]

True.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can't believe his voice. His voice is so deep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's still Baby James.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know, but he's. Look at it.

[Chris Distefano]

Look at.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look how tall he is. He's taller than everybody here. Except for you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. I really wish I didn't put off molesting him so long.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Cause now I can't. Yeah, now it's not fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now I can't. Now he knows Jiu Jitsu.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But he might put you in a triangle. Which.

[Chris Distefano]

Which.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Win. Win, I guess, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You get away with him. Less station.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll be. What? We were just wrestling. What are you talking about? He was beating me with a triangle for 30 minutes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

His father. What are you guys talking about my son like that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I just fell asleep in his crotch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I never tapped out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How you doing, buddy?

[James (Louis's son)]

I'm good, actually.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Are you excited about this day today?

[James (Louis's son)]

Oh, I love. Yeah. I love being here. This is great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, not. I mean, thank you for us. I was talking about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, hey.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, hey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never mind. Your dad's here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Never mind, never mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We were Howard Stern. We were trying to get him to get naked and do stuff. I'm like, you want to be in Playboy? Well, then let's see the goods, kiddo.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, how hilarious, buddy. That just reminded me. That's the funniest Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What? That Lewis tips things over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, but that's a very. Louis stories that. We were in Austin this evening together. We were in Austin this weekend. No, this is great.

[Chris Distefano]

Doing gay stuff. James, close your ears.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, James, your ears.

[Chris Distefano]

This is your dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is your dad. The clunk. We were taking pictures.

[Chris Distefano]

He was like, superhero. What are you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Troy Conrad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Troy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow, that hurt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Troy Conrad. Troy Conrad was taking pictures of us in the hallway. And then he goes, hey, I got this new. He used to tell me, I got this new thing that's like a red light that's like shoots like a laser thing behind you to make it all look like deep red behind with smoke coming out. He goes, so cool. And then Lewis walked up and he goes, lewis, I want to get. When you like this. He goes, stand in front of that. And you just broke the leg of the light immediately.

[Chris Distefano]

Photographers are idiots. I'll say that. In fact, I will say, james, this is for the future. Oh, all photographers. Basically rapists, in my opinion.

[James (Louis's son)]

My mom was a photographer.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, how do you think you were born?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, your mother takes what she wants.

[Chris Distefano]

She doesn't accept no for an answer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who said to get past that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe James is born out of rape.

[Chris Distefano]

He's a reverse rape baby, like the SVU kid. I love that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James. James at the age where he gets all these jokes now.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah, he loves it. He told me yesterday that he's. He's in health class. He's like, dad, I know how pregnancy works, and I'm ready for it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think I'm ready to carry a child.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm a real Puerto Rican dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was in health class, and they told me that ethnically, I'm way behind becoming a parent.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it crazy to think that, like, how old were you when James was born? I mean. Oh, you were 30. Older, actually.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

30.

[James (Louis's son)]

He was 30.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were a little bit older. Yeah, I was younger.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you let the. I just got a real quick. You let this guy use your phone?

[Chris Distefano]

I did let him use my phone. He's dealing with some emergency. I know now he's going to like. He was like, your phone number is blah, blah, blah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I didn't think.

[Chris Distefano]

He's a vampire in my mind. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So all magic comes from the Count. Yes. You have been lured into a false sense of security, but I have taken off your watch right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Is this your card?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's got your phone. That's how he's getting.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, I got my phone from Back from. I don't want to tell his business, but he's it. See, he's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Paco came in and told us immediately.

[Chris Distefano]

Oz is shook right now. I've never seen somebody more shook. He said somebody. I guess somebody did a SIM swap with him. So he's like. You know when you feel like leave your phone open at home with your girlfriend? He has that look right now, like he's about. His life's about to fall apart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His eyes were like, someone else has a SIM card.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is. Who does that? This is all part of the thing, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do think. We all think, by the way, this is something he always tells people to say. So you were out there with him a little bit longer so we can get you in on the bit.

[Chris Distefano]

Maybe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're in on it.

[Chris Distefano]

Maybe he did use my phone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you are a magician.

[Chris Distefano]

That is true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe he finds a reason to use your phone.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, my God. Wait a minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is my card.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lewis was. Lewis was raped by Oz. I Know I was saying ooze because

[Big Jay Oakerson]

you're supposed to say Oz. Well, everybody wants to say Oz.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everyone say Oz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And that's not our fault.

[Chris Distefano]

I thought we were hanging up with Dr. Oz today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you're having to reinforce everything. James in health class.

[Chris Distefano]

Dr. O, tell him about the birds and the beast. What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Didn't Dr. Oz go? Well, did he go super right wing? Was that what his thing was? He went Republican? Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He tried to win and he didn't. He couldn't beat the guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who cares?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He lost.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is so crazy. He's going through a thing, right? We supposed this is probably. I think it's our third re. Right. Rebooking.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. I don't think it's a thing. I think it's part of it.

[Chris Distefano]

You think it's all part of it. I'm telling you, the look on his face. He's like white in the face. He looks completely.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When was the last time you exchanged this? Someone said, hey, I want to exchange sims. When was it? When. When does. Who does. No, no, no.

[Chris Distefano]

He said some. He didn't exchange swims. Somebody went to the Verizon store and said they were him. Then his phone shut down. He got a notification and now he's like, somebody sim. Sim swapped with me. Which I don't know what that means.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I bet it's Lewis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. But I tell you what, that's crazy. That's what he's going through right now. I mean, I would. We have to let him go.

[Chris Distefano]

There's no way I would come in here if that happened.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not going to be able to perform his fucking mentalism tricks when he's. His mind like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, shouldn't he know who he's like?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, so this your Social Security number? All my dick pics, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a hijacking form of account takeover fraud scammers trick your mobile carrier to transferring your phone number and new SIM card can. All right, when they do that, can they get access to all your contacts, pictures, things like that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's your phone. That's what I'm saying. He's like. He's like, is this your card? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That one, that. That one gay video I made with that one guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Look, your phone suddenly there is. Oh, is that him?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's Pa. What happened?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He left.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He left?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's gone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's gone. He got SIM swapped. He said this is an emergency. He's very sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did he like to reschedule did he at least, like, throw down like, a smoke bomb and wasn't there when the smoke was gone?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, but you can still see him in the bush.

[Chris Distefano]

I came in for James to hang out with you guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Disappointed.

[James (Louis's son)]

James also.

[Chris Distefano]

O's literally started some tricks with us. He's like, telling James to pick his favorite card. And he told me.

[James (Louis's son)]

He told. He set up an entire trick before this. And he told me that during this podcast, he was gonn to have me do something, and now I can't even do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a radio show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What did he say?

[Chris Distefano]

That's a podcast, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a radio show. It's

[Chris Distefano]

James. There's satellites in the air, billion dollar satellites for no reason at all. It seems like it could just be a podcast, but this is a radio show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you the difference. You should know this. Here's the difference.

[James (Louis's son)]

All right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Podcasts have better equipment.

[Chris Distefano]

There's less. Less people in. Less chefs in the kitchen.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James, see all these cameras in a podcast studio? They work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They'd be on and they'd be on, but now they're outdated because they bought them and fired the video.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There'd be.

[Chris Distefano]

There'd be one producer. It would be way more streamlined, and it would be way more possible.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See that tv? It wouldn't have the logo of the show burned into the screen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wouldn't. Because it would be a new TV and not a plasma. The plasma has burned the bomb.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What did he. What did he say? What did he say? He's never. He's not coming back. It's done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's an emergency.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He ran very briskly to a Verizon store and he said that he would reschedule, and he's very sorry. He'd love to be back. So he's done?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Oh, he's not coming back. Yeah, he's. That'd be funny if James turned into him right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shouldn't he just be able to figure out through his mentalism who the person was who did this?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I already said that joke. But you talked over it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, did it work when you said it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. To Jacob.

[Chris Distefano]

Jacob laughed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Jacob laughed. But you were talking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a word.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Got a solid laugh out of Jacob.

[Chris Distefano]

Christine laughed twice because she's a phony.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She went for it both times in her contract. She has to laugh at everything Joe

[Chris Distefano]

says, like, Jay, you're so original.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We had Paco come in for nothing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Paco, Nothing. Poor James is disappointed. You should probably head down to Busta Rhymes now to make sure. You get in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great. Now O's Perlman is just out there in the world knowing your favorite card.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm like, is this a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Should I email his rep and be

[Louis J. Gomez]

like, he had an emergency. He had to go, James, can I pick your card? What?

[James (Louis's son)]

It was. Sure. Go. Hit me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You ready?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at me.

[James (Louis's son)]

I'm looking.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bobby. James, I know you're thinking red right away, but then you went back to black with his mom and then back to red, right?

[Chris Distefano]

He got it. Fuck. I keep on forgetting that he puts

[Louis J. Gomez]

these jokes and she's dying to go back to black. It's a red card. It's a red card. Correct? Yes. Okay. And it's. You were in between one. You were in between the ace and the six. You were thinking that, but then you changed your mind. You went up to. From six to a jack. Am I correct?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a king of. King of hearts.

[James (Louis's son)]

He actually did better than I thought he was gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

Wait, was the king of hearts. No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

So he didn't do it all?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He didn't do anything.

[Chris Distefano]

Completely failed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't do anything.

[Chris Distefano]

He did better than you thought he would do by completely failing. He thought you were gonna fail worse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me see. Maybe I have the powers. Try Lewis.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's creepy.

[James (Louis's son)]

When you guys be the number.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

James, please. Sorry, I need full focus on this. Pick a number between one and 20. We'll start easy.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

14.

[Chris Distefano]

I swear on James's life, may he be violently murdered. I picked 14. I should have written it down.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You guys did. This is all set up on skanks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I tell you what he thought of for some reason, James. 13. And in my mind, I thought 13. Such a common number people would pick. He'd jump one.

[Chris Distefano]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

14.

[Chris Distefano]

I thought 17. Then I was like, no, 17 is pretty obvious.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Then he went with the amount of girlfriends he's had in the last year

[Chris Distefano]

and the age of average age. Oh, we are crushing. Boys, the bonfire is back. Baby boy. You see the baby James this whole time?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All we need was a baby James on the show. Third mic. We had no idea.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, I'm.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm really bummed out. I was very excited about this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, he did a trick on Lewis and Ori. It was you and already did it.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I watched it. He did it with Ari and Tom Segura and it was this. He goes. He's like, ari, think of any person alive or dead in the history of the world. Like, that's a huge number of people. That Hitler. Well, that's what I thought. And that's why I didn't choose. I started hiling. No. And Ari wrote it down, held it to his chest, and he was just like, it's a person that's dead. Name starts with an A. I was like, is Abraham Lincoln? And then I started faking sucking his dick. It was pretty funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's pretty wild.

[Chris Distefano]

It was insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then he told Segura, this is his cousin Barbara.

[Chris Distefano]

No subsagura. It was, think of any persons you've ever interacted with in real life. And it was just some random ass name.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And he got it.

[Chris Distefano]

He got it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you think first and last, you think there's. You think there's like trick to it. For sure. It's not. You said. What they all are gonna say is that it's the. They're reading your, like, movements and stuff like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

He's gonna go, I'm reading your eyes. And I'm a master at looking at body language and all that, but that's all horseshit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's definitely protect his phone.

[Chris Distefano]

Jesus Christ. Well, he also was like. He goes, oh, to James, he's like, I'm always. What's your name? I was like, don't tell him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, figure it out, dude. Yeah, as you said, Christine. He goes, what time should I be there for the show? He goes, you figure it out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You think he's panicking because all his tricks are on his phone right now? Yeah, some Dominican up. Up on 125th is going through it right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes. He's going to be like, oh, my

[Chris Distefano]

God, please, can you get access to your stuff?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can the spirits throw that guy's phone in the river?

[Chris Distefano]

When you. When you get SIM swap, do they have access to everything in your phone?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm getting anxiety thinking about it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You should.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't even know. Being SIM swapped is the thing says

[James (Louis's son)]

once they receive your tax rate.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that saying you bypass SMS based 2 factor?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, it's so funny. Louis is saying bad things about breaking into your bank and all that kind of stuff. And all the three of us are thinking about. It's like someone's going to see something crazy.

[Chris Distefano]

I've texted 100% take everything out of my bank account before you see my text and DMs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How easy is it to do that though? You just.

[Chris Distefano]

I shit, you know, I would rather lose all the money in my bank account than if somebody have access to everything that's in my phone. Beyond that, I of course make that. Yes, Yes, I can make that money back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James is going to try to get in your phone.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a lot of money. It's a pretty decent amount of cash that I'd give to know. Because if somebody says, all right, I'm going to release everything that you've done in the past year on your phone, or you pay me the amount of money in your bank account, I'd be like, I have to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, proves me that you got it. Okay, okay. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

You crazy?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't have anything on my phone. Bad. Yeah, yeah. I can literally hand down. She can use it.

[Chris Distefano]

You use a rotary phone. Rotary.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We heard you. No, we got it. We got it. We heard it and we got it. I tell you what, though. I got bagged. My first. First camera. Remember the flip one with the video? That one had a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, a lot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, Don found that. That's the one that I got caught.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What a big, clunky thing to have to plug in to find terrible news out. Is that big thing. You plug it. You're supposed to be getting like. Like FBI information when you plug that thing like that. And it's just you. What, Seducing somebody.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm just glad the video was all grainy and shit. It wasn't like 4K because you really couldn't see all the stuff I was doing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Were you a Fat Bob at that time?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it was grainy. He was having sex with a bowl of oats.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right. I liked it. No, I was not Fat Bob then.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shredded Bob.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was.

[James (Louis's son)]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Doing flip phone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Flip phone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not flip phone. Flip camera.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Flip Flip camera.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I flip.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I flip. Not I flip. Just a flip you used to have.

[Chris Distefano]

Would you. Which one did you have for a while? Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Flip.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it wasn't a flip. It was the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The sidekick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sidekick. Oh, that was fun.

[Chris Distefano]

I remember we were on set for Xerock when Jay was on Z Rock. Do you remember this? And some porn chick was on set, like, playing, like, an actual character. And then you were showing us the porn she was in while she was on stage. We were like, oh, there she is, Kristan. Yeah, she's naked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She became a friend. Yeah, Kristan. Yeah. Yeah. But for sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't they all. Yeah, I remember the sidekick. I never got a Sidekick. I had the BlackBerry and what was the handspring. Remember Handspring?

[Chris Distefano]

Now you are the sidekick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got all the nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's pretty good. I liked it. Paco, enough.

[Chris Distefano]

Thanks, Paco.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James, you got Paco.

[Chris Distefano]

He's got a Raise.

[James (Louis's son)]

He could beat me up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Paco?

[James (Louis's son)]

Yeah, he's tough. I mean, he's good at boxing. I don't know about jiu Jitsu, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys have the same thickness of mustache we do, actually. Paco either has a young boy's mustache or James has a fully grown Chinaman's mustache.

[Chris Distefano]

I told James we're gonna shave it. He was like, I don't want it to grow back thicker. And then I was like, that's not a wives tale. It's not a real thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's actually 100% real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's completely real.

[James (Louis's son)]

And my dad used his long wife Chachi BT to search up if it was actually real.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that how he gets all his facts?

[James (Louis's son)]

Yes. He uses ChatGPT every day to be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

To father you.

[James (Louis's son)]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[James (Louis's son)]

What should I do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're being raised by a father in AI.

[Chris Distefano]

They give good advice. It's an old wives tale. Yeah. And by the way, Google uses AI now. Guys, when you Google something, what do you think they're doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, but I don't have to call it like Tim or whatever the fuck you have to.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I call it chat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Chat.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm like, hey, chat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what you say.

[Chris Distefano]

And I use. I use the black guy voice now. He's like, motherfucker. Sup she?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do they have a black guy voice?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, there's a black guy voice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The handspring. There you go, Bobby. That's the one I didn't have. I didn't get all the things always.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did sidekick into BlackBerry into iPhone. I was reluctant on iPhone. I said, touch screen technology is fly

[Chris Distefano]

by night, dead in the water. This isn't. This will not be around in one year.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I sat in a car in front of my house with Dana on the other line going, they did it, dude. They finally did it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just bought the company.

[Chris Distefano]

Did you know that the iPad was in production before the iPhone was?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And the iPhone. Yes, I do think she knows everything about.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He went to a party. So they were making an iPad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They were like, bobby, can you not say it all bitchy old lady like, no, I can't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I gotta do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know the thing. He did the thing, went to a party.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're gonna make the. The first touchscreen. And he was like, daddy went back. We're doing it first. And then they're in the room and he looked around and they're trying to make the iPad and beat Microsoft. And he looked on. Everybody was on their blackberries. He's like, we're not making an iPad. We're gonna make a phone. That's the story in a condensed version. Am I right or wrong? But was it Am I right or wrong? Sorry, James.

[James (Louis's son)]

I was gonna say that Microsoft, they were gonna originally use a stylus, right? And then he.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why would you use a stylus?

[James (Louis's son)]

He was like, oh, let's just use our fingers.

[Chris Distefano]

We have five styli on our hand.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was one of the greatest who

[Big Jay Oakerson]

brought the to work, by the way. This argument here says, basically, the cutting your hair does not change its growth, thickness, or color. And then says that it does, essentially.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it does.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It says it's an illusion.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's an illusion. You slice it in the middle, it grows from the middle.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a thicker part of the hair.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

And when it first comes in, it looks thicker than it would, but it just grows back to its normal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We were going to talk about illusions all day today, but now we're not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I guess all we talk about is our facial hair illusions.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Now we have a panicking guy at a T Mobile store.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'll notice me and Bobby have beards to give the illusion of jawlines. Someone is just going to a Verizon, say, yes, I'm Oz Perman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You have to have a fake ID.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your birthday's April 29th. Amos Perlman. Could you. Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, you can just do that. That's crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, if you. The store can do it. He dropped it off at the store and they did it there. They copied it there, right? Is that what you're saying?

[Chris Distefano]

No. He says somebody walked into the Verizon store pretending to be him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then they switched all of his information to their phone.

[James (Louis's son)]

Dad, are you scared?

[Chris Distefano]

I'm terrified. I'm really like, the fact that that can be done is crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. The things you've done on camera that I do know about. What have you done we don't know about?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. What are the things you haven't showed us?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I hope. I hope it's gay stuff.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lives in a hot tub of 60 guys screaming. When in Rome.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It made me so happy. Him and Rogan just in a hot tub.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you really wish shooting bow and arrows?

[Chris Distefano]

I'd be on the Rogan sphere. Kidding me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What happened? Late nights in Greece that he didn't film. Oh, my Lord.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's. That's so anxiety inducing. I saw him, like, he sat down, he called his wife, and he's like. He started Getting like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Honey.

[Chris Distefano]

He started getting like, shitty with her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Start packing my shit. You're gonna want me out of the house shortly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's got it getting shitty.

[Chris Distefano]

Started getting like, short with her. So you gotta call the store. I'm on this guy's phone. He's getting a beep from Paco. Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love that. Every guy. When we panic, we get shittier at our wives. We somehow blame them for it happening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Some had a good dial back to them. Yeah, that's fucking. Damn, that sucks. He's going through that. But he is not destined to be on this show.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe this is the show that's going to expose his trickery. Made it to the lobby. This is why he made it all the way to the fucking lobby. What a crazy timing of something.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's so weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I still keep thinking it's all routine. He's going to appear. But that's not even the kind of magic he does. That's not even this kind of magic. He's going to just emerge from somewhere where. Adding a lot. It's just telling you. Like, he's just guessing that or, you know, guessing correctly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't. Do you understand you did magic. Do you understand what that is? Like, is it what the technique is?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't.

[James (Louis's son)]

I don't understand mentalists at all.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You don't?

[James (Louis's son)]

No. I mean. Well, the suspicious thing with Mentalist is that they always have to, like, write something on a piece of paper. That's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was talking to your father, but I'm glad you picked it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because it was actually a better conversation.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I was just gonna. I was gonna say a slur.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He was just gonna say something.

[James (Louis's son)]

Sorry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you actually had an intelligent thought. Go ahead, James. I'm sorry.

[James (Louis's son)]

No. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

My.

[James (Louis's son)]

My mom actually has a friend and

[Chris Distefano]

he's like, who the is this guy?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You die. Your mom's meeting a mentalist now? She dumped a mentalist before.

[James (Louis's son)]

No. He's crazy, though. He's done like Mentalist tricks on me. Like, he's like, go to sleep, go to sleep.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm not your real dad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You don't need underwear.

[James (Louis's son)]

No, but he'll, like, he'll do something different every day. Like he'll like, ask like, oh, like think of any country or any city in the world. And then my mom has like, wrote some, like, intricate, like, cities and countries. And then he'll like. She'll write it on a piece of paper and then he'll ask like four other questions. Like, oh, think of any person in the world or something. And then you'll take all the pieces of paper. He'll like, fear feel your wrists, like, do this to feel your pulse. And then he'll just guess out every single thing that you said. It's crazy. He's crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He.

[James (Louis's son)]

I'm not even kidding.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is she still dating him?

[James (Louis's son)]

She was never with him. Oh, he's like, I don't know, 70, 69. I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Chris Distefano]

Hell yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They teach you how to help class yet? Just so you know, when they do do this, your teacher's gonna think you're so cool. 69. Fuck yeah. Dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Such children.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's wild. Mom hangs out with a 70 year old.

[James (Louis's son)]

I. I don't know, man. She hangs out with a lot of people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's all right. Did you make a lot of money being a mentalist?

[James (Louis's son)]

No, he was an actor. That's. That's why I was a famous actor. I. I don't know. He. He actually. He had cancer and then he actually beat through it. He was like stage three. I'm pretty sure he had like a type of blood cancer. And he. He's cancer free now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, cancer's back. Dang. I felt it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think you would have saw that coming. I'm guessing my cancer is back. When we said we had the guy we used to go to, we went to see our friend Michelle's play about the gay medium, the clairvoyant that can talk to the dead. But I think we figured out his thing. But that was also still one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life. Cause how dark like that stuff gets. Like, I'm talking to your dead loved ones. To throw musical in the middle of that is the kind of genius that only our friend Michel could figure out. Because, I mean, it was making us. I mean, he was literally going like, your son committed suicide.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes. I just want you to know that he is finally at peace. 5, 6, 7, 8. When you can speak to dead people, it's crazy. And the thing

[Chris Distefano]

the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was this Michelle's play, It was a

[Louis J. Gomez]

play with a mentalist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. About his life. He was an abused. A viciously abused child, apparently. And that's. I guess he was beaten into mentalism. Yeah. Why are you staring over at your son, by the way?

[Chris Distefano]

I do see.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do see that scratch on his eye over there. Now, I want you to understand something. You're in a safe place here. If you need help, you could tell all of us your father away.

[Chris Distefano]

Tell him that a girl kicked your ass in Jiu Jitsu and gave you a black eye.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never mind, dude. Let me just think. Your dad beat you. I won't tell the cops.

[James (Louis's son)]

Me in an arm bar and her GI like rubbed up against my eye.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that what you call it?

[Chris Distefano]

It's pretty. It's pretty toy.

[James (Louis's son)]

Yeah, it's a gi.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And that's when you go to change your gi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It must be a rough gi.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James is just giving in. Oh, I'm never going to tap.

[Chris Distefano]

He's giving it a triangle here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He just goes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She goes tap out. He goes never.

[Chris Distefano]

I love you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I call it tapping in and out.

[Chris Distefano]

Give me a rear naked joke, please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Louis J. Gomez]

days this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, for me, during the summer when things are nice and things are happening, I usually start to think I can do it by myself. For some people, summer is their favorite season, but for others like me, juggling everything is pretty demanding and it's tough. And it can lead to feelings, being overwhelmed and anxiety and counting down the minutes just waiting for get back to some type of structure. Whether you're someone who thrives or just survives in the summer, make sure to take care of yourself during the warm months. Therapy with BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform, can help you understand your needs, feel more confident setting boundaries and creating a vision of summer that can actually feel good. Just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and Preferences and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching for you. Feel confident knowing betterhelp? Their therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us you don't have to Say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy, sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com bonfire that's B-E-T-T-E-R H E-L-P.com bonfire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Louis J. Gomez]

and make memories, so make it count. Belgard pavers are designed to elevate your outdoor. Designed forward and built to last. Learn [e-mail] that's B E L G-A-R-.com I went to Cuba last year, went through a hurricane and didn't speak Spanish and it really hit me. I speak one language. Most Americans only speak one language and everybody else speaks two or three. And I vowed that day to learn Spanish and I'm going to go back to Cuba and know how to get bread, say hello, check into my hotel, do all the stuff I wanted to do that I couldn't do last year. That's happening with Babbel. If you're traveling this summer, here is a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Instead, try babbel. Even just 10 minutes a day, that's what I do with Babbel can help you start having real conversations in as little as three weeks. Lessons are quick, practical, and built by more than 200 language experts. And instead of memorizing random vocab, you're learning phrases you'll use. Ordering dinner, asking for directions, or talking with locals. That's what you need. This is how you learn the language by speaking it. Now I can go into a store, I talk to the guys at the garage. I can actually have a conversation. Am I fluent yet? No, but I'm definitely getting better at Spanish. Babbel's awesome. If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babbel.com bonfire that's Babbel B A B-B B E L.com bonfire for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply out on the road. It's nice to have a partner who can help you make the most of your journey. A partner like the Love's Rewards app. With Love's Rewards along for the ride, you earn points on food, fuel, drinks,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

and more every time you scan.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Then you can spend those points at Love's just like cash, so every stop is even more rewarding. Download the app today and watch the points roll in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mile after mile Love's rewards Save and

[Louis J. Gomez]

earn at every turn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Terms apply.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See website for details. Carter's has your family covered for every summer. First for steps, first swim lesson, or first sleepover. Our clothes help kids and parents shine, thanks to comfy design and easy dressing details. Visit Carters.com to shop the latest styles or find a Carter store near you. How did you figure this guy out, though? You said you figured it out. What was it you think?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't want to give his thing away, but we just found the way that seems like, don't you have, like, respect for it?

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I did grow up doing, like, sleight of hand magic, and I've seen a lot of magic shows, and I think it's great. I did go on YouTube and there's, like, people that are debunking O's, and I commented. I was just like. I was like, what's wrong with you people? Like, you can't just let people have fun.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Can't Santa Claus be real for us children, you assholes?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it really is like, yeah. The wanting to break that down is kind of, like, shitty to know. So, yeah, if I knew the thing, I wouldn't tell. But I love to find out the thing for sure. But, like, well, I respect the.

[Chris Distefano]

Even if you know how they're doing, it was beautiful. Penn and Teller, specifically, they would do tricks. One of their famous ones is the three balls trick where they. Where they have the three cups and three balls, and they would do it with transparent cups. And you see how they do it. It's all transparent, but you still go like, oh, that's a crazy skill. What they're actually doing. It was like, one of their bits that they did that they were very famous for. So the. Just even if you know, magic's not real. No shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love magic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love the stupid salt and pepper disappearing napkin trick. You do a dinosaur.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[James (Louis's son)]

That's really cool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I know how he does it, and I still love it when he does it. And I try to do it and I can't do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think the only ones I know of Lewis is, are, I love magic.

[James (Louis's son)]

You love magic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do. Yeah. But it's like, I do also, like, kind of see how it's done. Cause I'm always. I said, I'm still equally impressed by the skill to do it. Yeah, so that was the problem. That Shin Lim guy I love, but, like, I've watched him on America's Got Talent so many times that, like, I've rewatched them That I go, oh, I see what he's doing. I see the move. Look at James instinctually. Just give Paco his garbage. Paco, throw this out for me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Get him another one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Paco, grab me a water.

[Chris Distefano]

You piece of shit Chinaman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you know, Danny Braff and Joe Russell both grew up in magic. Like, Danny went to magic camp. He has a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you mean it's downright magic that they grew up?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He has a collection of thumbs. Magician thumbs? Like famous magician thumbs?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's one of the secrets.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, is it? Sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I also think Danny Braff probably has a collection of top hats he wears in his house by himself.

[Chris Distefano]

I keep my collection of thumbs in my butt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They stack them like those old mechanical pencil tips. You just keep pulling one out and then stuff another one back in. Damn. What a bummer. He's not gonna be able to come in. I was so ready for.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, we have a magician here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe Lewis could do a couple tricks for us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know a couple of Lewis. The only one that you do that I know how to do is the ashes appearing on the inner hand. Yeah, that one I know how to do. I watched enough stuff on that. I. I watched.

[Chris Distefano]

But you went and looked it up afterwards.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, I. When. When I knew it. You knew it already. It makes sense. Like, we didn't. Like, it didn't cry. I didn't learn it from you. But when you. I think we talked about it and you're like, oh, I know that one. Yeah, No, I saw it on the show or something. I think it showed you how to do it right away.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What is it? Ashes on your hand?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can make ashes appear inside your hand.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you just put it on your hand and hold my hand, and then they're there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what we were just talking about.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why do you not let people just enjoy life?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm sorry. Did I figure it out? Is that really it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you said what it is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did. Oh, I didn't know that you knew it.

[Chris Distefano]

I guess we won't do it to anybody in the studio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. All right. Well, there goes that half hour. Bobby, buddy. Remember you said we should have. Oh. Most prominent for the whole show. Remember? That was your call. Completely. I see. Let's have the last hour.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jmo. I'll forget about it in eight minutes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's have the whole show. God damn it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do you like when your dad does magic?

[James (Louis's son)]

Yeah, it's cool. He's taught me, like, his tricks. He taught me when I was, like, 4 years old. Some of the tricks. And I was so dumb, like I couldn't do any of them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you give every girl your number, one of them will call.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a game of numbers. Every no gets you closer to a yes, baby. James.

[James (Louis's son)]

No, but no. As I got older though, I. I

[Chris Distefano]

had a real embrace. The note, use the no, she was tricks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so funny if she's really drunk. Slurred no. Sounds like yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You take the pill and you put it over a drink and lightly drop it in. Come back in 20 minutes.

[Chris Distefano]

13 guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[James (Louis's son)]

And yet I know all these jokes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[James (Louis's son)]

Sad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They start so young.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sad. That made me sad. They start.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They start drugging girls so young now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Crazy world we live in. Crazy world we give in. I do want to talk about this because we have a few things left in our topic sheet from the week. And it was. Ray J admitted to throwing that fight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On the Aiden Ross thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I watched the thing was an mma, which was weird because they really didn't do mma, they just boxed still.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you watch it?

[Chris Distefano]

I watched like the highlights, that highlight reel of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he got hip and celebrity.

[Chris Distefano]

MMA is weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But did he say after besides after being punched? Is this what they mean before you admitted it? Because like, has it been discussed after this? I know after the fight he says, yo, man, what happened? I thought we had a plan. I know, but is there any follow up beyond that? This?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Because it could simply be like we were supposed to go at it for a while and make an entertaining fight. It doesn't mean that it's fixed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know. He said he lost. He's in the. This clip. He says, man, you just lost a lot. Lost us a lot of money. Yeah, you up and we lost a lot of money. It. He's insinuated, but I don't. It could be he got knocked out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could just be embarrassed as he could

[Louis J. Gomez]

be just embarrassed saying some. Trying to throw people off.

[Chris Distefano]

He was hospitalized afterwards, I heard.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He got hit? Yeah, he got hit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he's also supposed. Well, that was the build up to this.

[Chris Distefano]

Did you see.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, Ray J's like, I think he's just a. Probably has a lot of mental problems, this guy. Clearly. And he had a thing recently where he's like, he's dying. He's basically on death's door. He can go any day. He's got an aortic something, I think. And he can die at any time. And when they ask him about this, they Go, well, aren't you dying? Nobody wants you to die. Why would you do this fight? And he goes, why would you bring it up, man? He goes, because I'm willing to die for this. And he starts crying and is so emoji. And then he's just kind of like, hey, man, I thought we were supposed to do a different thing in this fight. I thought we were dancing. Ray J shocked fans by stating the doctors gave him only months to live. Predicting that 2027 would be a wrap for him, he revealed his heart was functioning at just 25% following severe pneumonia and heart pained hospitalization, attributing his condition to years of heavy drug and alcohol abuse.

[James (Louis's son)]

That's sad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Despite these dire claims his status has

[Louis J. Gomez]

caused, James has empathy. I'm so glad you're really.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's make fun of this. What a loser.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But James, hang on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is. I can't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Despite these guys, despite these claims, his status caused confusion because he since has vigorously trained for a celebrity MMA match and made a public appearance stating he's feeling better and doing all right. So I think he's just a psychopath.

[James (Louis's son)]

Okay. He might be lying. I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He is. He's. He's Brandy's brother. It's a lot. It's a big shadow to live under.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Anytime a celebrity is in, starts boxing other celebrities, they're. They're at the end of the rope. Something snapped.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is a thing that you really have to tuck the tail. When you see Danny Bonaduce, you see

[Louis J. Gomez]

me at Skank Fest fighting somebody, it's for money.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, that's what we should do. We should do Bobby versus Big J. It's gang Fest. That's the fight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would just hug him. I wouldn't fight him.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he's just punching you in the

[Big Jay Oakerson]

head, you know, And Bobby's gonna lay there and just do the things. He goes, I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm not angry. I understand.

[Chris Distefano]

Special gu referee Dan Soder.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But then you say something, you say something that pisses me off and I just attack your face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, not, not even that, though. This. When it got the celebrity boxing that was such a telltale. You're like. It was, was. It was made sense for the people who were like octo moms and stuff like that. Like flash in the pan news stories. But the come down being on celebrity boxing sucks like horseshit. Remember Horshack did it. And remember Horseshack might have been beat up by Bonaduce, but when A horse shot got knocked out. Like, he got up. He looked so pathetic, you know? I mean, when he got knocked down, he got up with like a I've never been punched before face.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I wish we could. I wish we could find the video of Voss and Keith fighting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't exist.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They had the Opie. Well, they filmed it. It exists. We did. We did a Comedy Central show for Opie and Anthony.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I know. I know the story, but.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And they filmed everything. It's somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It got so real.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Voss.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that one of those, like, tape reels?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they had the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No audio.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They had the. They had the big boxing gloves off.

[Chris Distefano]

It's piano music.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

As we were paying for the pugilism match.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They had cancan girls dancing in between rounds. They had the big gloves on. They had blindfolds. But Voss is such a weasel. At one point, he picked his blindfold up and then just kicked Keith in the back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they got no real fight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Karate kicked him in the back, but it was like a half a karate kick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rich Voss has started tons of fights with a kid kick. It's very interesting for someone that short.

[Chris Distefano]

We did martial arts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This was.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what he said.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bruce Lee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did heroin. Dude.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm sorry. I heard it wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, no, he did China White. You heard a different thing. This is a Screech versus Horse Shack.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Screech beat up Horseshuck.

[Chris Distefano]

Screech is a big dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He wasn't small at the time. I mean, he's dead.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's dead.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's a psycho, too. A while ago, he took a knife out on set when they were doing the reunion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did he?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, there's a story where they were. He. They were with him. He got into a fight with another thing, and he just took a knife out. And he was like, don't with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He went nuts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he went really crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then he did a porn.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah, he did a porn to

[Big Jay Oakerson]

try to save his house. Yeah, he was saying. And his wife was, like, involved in it. But I said, it's always my favorite. Kurt Metzger and Doug,

[Chris Distefano]

what was this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fucking really hilarious guy Benson. No, Sunye, Doug. Sunye, Doug, Sunye and Kurt. We're opening for him somewhere, and Screech's wife comes in the green room. She goes, all right, guys, have a fun show out there. Just if you could avoid it. No jokes about grandmas, Walmarts or farts. Let's have fun out there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just a funny. Like, three things. He goes, that's all he called covers watch horse shack get knocked out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that Muhammad Ali?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn it. What the is going on?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that Muhammad Ali? It was at this Ah well, I

[Big Jay Oakerson]

mean he's a mess. What's he gonna get into your house if you want now? Probably he's dead.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's dead. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So even easier can make an edge thing make a lamp out of his skin. Canon. Everyone from celebrities. I think Horak's dead too. You can jump towards the end of it. It's when he gets knocked out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's a nice right. That's it. It's over. That was horse shot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was one of the times you see his face come he's like the wide eyes. He just looks like an idiot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sucks poor horseshack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't even feel good to beat up Horseshack.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, and screech. It was screech.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Screech beat up horsesh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Where'd you go? We just said all of this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just such a sad career point of your career.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The come down. So when it's the come down of the career when you wear a thing to understand that like there's people who have like respect for themselves in that, like. I don't know. I wouldn't see like from the limited time I've met him, I wouldn't see Joey Fatone doing celebrity box for the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's doing this for 2,500 bucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I promise you this is 20 grand tops.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at horseshacks all gray.

[Chris Distefano]

No, maybe not then though. Because back then when this was happening, celebrities weren't as accessible. They probably sold a lot of tickets for this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but it's horseshack and fucking Dustin Diamond. You know what I mean? Like, so how many tickets These are like little local things they started doing. And as said, by the time they started dwindling out of this and no one cared about weird it would become that. It's like octo mom versus the lady who had five kids or the Kate versus eight. And it was all like. Like real reality stars for people under 45. Horseshack from welcome back, Mr. Carter.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean he looks so old here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Anyone. I never saw this. If anybody knows this is awesome.

[Chris Distefano]

He looks like you in 15 years.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You are the horse shack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Horrible man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're the horseshack of the bonfire. I wish you didn't see when you talk go, oh. Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, Mr. It's just like an old James has no idea what we're talking about. You've never seen any of the Shows.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you empathize with him?

[James (Louis's son)]

I've never seen these guys before, but I just thought that was funny that you said in 15 years that'd be him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was him.

[Chris Distefano]

Thanks, kid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Anybody knows anybody? If anybody knows the comedy of the bonfire, they're familiar with the comedy of Gabriel Clark Clapin, the man who played Mr.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Car. Mr. C. Professional gambler, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gabe Kaplan.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that where he made his money?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He made a lot of money in gambling after welcome Back Carter. I mean, a lot of money. He did the World Series of Poker. He was like the host of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He would remember the times of humorists getting popular like your Albert Brooks's and the people like that. That's a Gabe Kaplan. It's just a. Who's the other Larry Sanders? What's a blank on his real name?

[Chris Distefano]

Gary Shandling.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gary Shandling, yeah. These guys where it's like zero edge at all and just like made it work somehow.

[Chris Distefano]

They're also ugly. Yeah, yeah, Gary Shandling's so ugly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And played. But also. But played characters like. Like cool, like getting ass characters. That was always the funniest thing about the show. Seinfeld. Seinfeld was such a fucking dinkus to be. He's always on a date with like a hot blonde or brunette. Like the people they had come in. Like, he's going on dates with.

[Chris Distefano]

With.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With his feathered hair and stupid clothes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like everybody. That was cool, though. Even the Fonz was just a Jewish dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's Hollywood. That's Hollywood. Horseshit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, the Fonz off camera would be like, oh, God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Also, could you pick the Jew's last name? Was it Winkler to play the Fonz? Like if the Fonz have been. It's like. It's like if every time you had to say Method man, you had to tell him that his name is Clifford. You know what I mean? Or Earl for dmx. Like, just let him. Just let him use the stage name. Ridiculous Horse Shack. I couldn't. Lewis wants me to do what? Skank fights.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, they're gonna say crack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no. I would try crack.

[Chris Distefano]

No, we're gonna do the. The pinata fight. I thought

[Big Jay Oakerson]

if I was gonna do it, dude, I would want the glory of what? I'm picturing me laying on a 17 piece combo on somebody and then possibly flying over the ropes with an uppercut.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What is the. What's the pinata fight? What is that?

[Chris Distefano]

That's where we put Jay in a costume that resembles a pinata. We're gonna Candy taped to him all throughout. And then we'd have four guys. Fans would try to beat the out of Jay. Well, me, maybe Ellis. And one more person defends Jay. But you do get gloves. You get to fight here. This is it right here. Is this Ari dressed the piano? Who is that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, Ari wouldn't be that hype. That's Butterly.

[Chris Distefano]

It might be Butterly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So they have to get to the guy. And you can. The pinata can punch back.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, the pinata punches back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So they have no glove. They have gloves on.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, they have gloves. Good head. Moving on that pinata.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He knocked the hat off.

[Chris Distefano]

Tripoli did it. I did it. Butterly did it. Ari did it. We've all done it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But how come nobody's protecting him? Why are they all just staring at him? Get his ass kicked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. No one's protecting the pinata. I'd like to just fight one person straight up and see them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. Surround them and protect them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody goes off to fight somebody else. Now I gotta fight the remaining two people.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't want alpha males. I want protectors.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who is it? Is that. It is Butterly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And how do you win? You. You knock out the pinata.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And how. How do. How does he win? He just.

[Chris Distefano]

The pinata.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is there a time limit?

[Chris Distefano]

Keep as much candy as possible. Bobby said no. He's like pink candy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm not into candy. But if you could do a hot dogs and chicken fingers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby should mean you be two human pinata for the first time. Unprecedented. Two human pinatas protected by four people, each with seven people attacking. I'm just throwing numbers out there. It all sounds fun.

[Chris Distefano]

It's really fun. Adrenaline kicks in. You're not even gonna feel it, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It all.

[Chris Distefano]

Jay died.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel every bit of it. Lewis Bubby's punches.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Battling a different organ.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bobby's heart exploded and we both. We both wound up fat again in two years.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't know Bobby's heart was so big.

[Chris Distefano]

He had a heart like Ray J.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If this is the catalyst for making us tubs of shit again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, no, I'd rather just fight another fat person first.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're not gonna get suits that fit us. We're gonna have to squeeze it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna be a really unflattering pinata.

[Chris Distefano]

We got a pinata hat for you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And we just have gloves and a hat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm already made of candy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If you hit you in the. McCandy shoots out his mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it already happens for sure. I mean, unwrapped

[Chris Distefano]

who would you fight if you could name one comic to fight him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, the people would be like, if me and them like again, like it makes sense. Like, I don't want to challenge myself hard.

[Chris Distefano]

So you want to be able to beat somebody easy, Joe List?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, but it's like, I get. That's boring. That's boring to watch. So I started just thinking about like size wise things then. But I'm like, but I'm, you know,

[Louis J. Gomez]

like, why don't we have producers? You fight your producers.

[Chris Distefano]

You guys are literally the perfect fight for each other.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's a lot shorter than me though.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can't. What am I going to do? He's got.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh my God. You see that? He said you don't got the height for him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It ain't going to work. I don't want his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm saying, cuz Bobby's going to like, he's going to make me piss by punching.

[Chris Distefano]

Jay's going to cut off the fingers of his boxing gloves. Great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, my fingers were poking out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I just get knocked out by. By a pink fingernail. Why don't you do producers fight?

[Chris Distefano]

I'm already fighting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why don't you fight your producers and I'll fight my producers?

[Chris Distefano]

I'm already fighting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'll just, I'll just throw a chain down.

[Chris Distefano]

My producers are literally fight Paco and Harrington. They all train.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, my producers. Just your little gay magician producers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I'll pin you out of my entire crew here. Sure, if you want me to be a pin and fight my entire crew.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There you go.

[Chris Distefano]

Why don't we do the bonfire Producers versus the guest digital. Producers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, the guest digital. Who. What producer are we naming?

[Chris Distefano]

Alex Seraphina.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, well that takes out Black Lou and Jacob. Now who are we gonna throw? Lesbian Natalie.

[Chris Distefano]

Lesbian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That. That'll. She'll kick DJ Lou's ass. Who's fighting? Christine. Shannon.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, Shannon versus Christine's a good fight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Winner gets tits.

[Chris Distefano]

Shannon needs new tits bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Also the loser gets the old person tits.

[Chris Distefano]

Shannon. Here's a problem with Shannon. Shannon. And I love Shannon, but she's. I was like, Shannon. I was like, there's a path to me buying you new tits. I said this to her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Your son's right here, James. Earmuffs.

[Chris Distefano]

She's got 23 year old tits. Literally. My last girlfriend was the same age as Shannon's tits. Actually, it's not even a lie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ew and yucky.

[Chris Distefano]

So. So she needs them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did James have to read her to sleep?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They Definitely had a lot to talk about.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Have you ever read the Outsiders? No. What is that?

[Chris Distefano]

No, she hadn't. Since they're 23 years old, so she needs to replace them. Because after, like, 10. Jesus Christ, 10 or 15 years, they become, like, toxic to your body.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And she's like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She has the old ones that are filled with, like, mercury, and the old

[Louis J. Gomez]

one's just attached to her lungs.

[Chris Distefano]

She's got asbestos tits. So. No, but like, I was like, all right, Shannon, there's a package death. I was like, we gotta, like, go to, like, Turkey or one of these countries where you get them for, like 3, 500 bucks. Make a new set of cans, get them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You could get them cheap if she announced it on a show. There's a doctor, they'll give you. Dawn got her her first set for just anesthesia.

[Chris Distefano]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where from?

[Chris Distefano]

Who's this doctor?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's in jail now. I swear to God. He's in jail. He had a fetish of making the tits too big. Wow. And he did a lot of the Playmates and he kept me. He just got him to go big and big, and then he. He would make them so big that the nipple wouldn't heal back on. And this one girl had her nipple just fell off. Now she looks like a Barbie doll.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those things that happen, like those freak, like, plastic surgery, like, when the things they say, they've gone wrong, you understand? Like, something didn't hold to a muscle or they put somewhere and it shifted or something like that happen when it's just like, they put cement in my ass. Like, how does that become a thing?

[Chris Distefano]

Possibly that one chick who, like, she was a famous. Like, I think she's a Mexican actress in, like, the 70s, right. She was gorgeous. And then her friend was like, oh, you have to start injecting this in your face. And her friend was like, just having her inject, like, cooking oil in her face because she hated her and she was jealous of her. Oh, God, she looks crazy now. Now she's got, like, a show in Vegas where she, like, just comes out like a big freak in the stage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And everyone's like, yeah, is it Maria Conchita Alonso?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know what her name is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just picking a Mexican lady sold out every week.

[Chris Distefano]

This chick Lynn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, it's crazy. Do you gotta see an image of cooking oil?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Baby oil. And there were Faith. Wow. Iconic Mexican under the guys that.

[Chris Distefano]

It was collagen, dude. And it was her friend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did you like before?

[Chris Distefano]

No, you gotta see the Way like, she walks. It looks like a mask. It looks crazy. No, she was ridiculous. When she was, like, younger. She was one of the hottest women on the planet.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She looks like every female comedian in their 60s.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joan Rivers.

[Chris Distefano]

Yo, wait, the before, after. Look at her. Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she. I mean, she was always kind of ugly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She was always kind of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, she's beautiful. She had a bit of a pan face.

[Chris Distefano]

She's perfect.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She had a weird body.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She always had a pan face. Now that pan's got a couple potatoes cooking in it.

[Chris Distefano]

James likes Latina chick, so he's like, no, go to that one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That sucks. That sucks to be. Yeah, she was injecting cooking. She just took her friend's word for it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think it was her esthetician. Yeah, she's a close friend and beautician. You gotta. She's really gonna get those boobs.

[James (Louis's son)]

Baby oil. Yeah, she doesn't water.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she has to get those boobs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Don just got hers taken. But look at this. Miami. Oh, I just. I was like, Miami, skip Turkey. 2500. Get the boobs you want.

[Chris Distefano]

I'll get them for Shannon tomorrow if that's what it costs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She needs to get them out from just 2500. That's a very replacement.

[Chris Distefano]

But also getting them. Well, no, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What is she gonna do?

[Chris Distefano]

Just have big flaps of skin?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, they sheep them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because otherwise she has to get him replaced again. Well, you have.

[Chris Distefano]

Don't got him out and she didn't replace them. It's not good. Is it good?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. You either can not you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He asked you if it was good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna answer that question in a second. The first thing is, James, look at me when I talk to you.

[Chris Distefano]

The replace.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tell James your wife's new boobs are good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When you take them out, you take them out. But then when you get. When. If you don't replace them, they do. They have to reshape them. They have to make them. She basically has her old boobs back, you know. Oh, no, no, they were. No, they're all right. I mean, I like. I liked her boobs. The guy who did do them was really good. And they had. You know, they had. They look real. They had a little sag to them. That's so funny. After she had Max, though, they got. They got a little, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did she consult with you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

A little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I'm curious. Like, there's just no real. You have to disagree. If she goes. I was thinking about getting them out and just not putting New ones back in. Yeah, you can't say. It's like, no, no, get other ones.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I didn't say that at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm saying you can't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She said that to me. I went, no, don't do that. I barely want to, you know. No, no, I. I wish. I wish she kept them or got new ones if it was my choice. But it's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you couldn't. But you had to support what she said no matter what. But you can't even give an inkling of like, dude, I do love.

[Chris Distefano]

I've had plenty of girls that are like, I want to get a boob job eventually. Like, no, I love your.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did the same thing when dawn was gonna. When she came to me, she goes, I can get a boob job for free. I just have to pay the anesthesia. I did say. I was like, no, I love the way the left one's bigger than the right one. Why would you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why would you fix that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was. So when I first started dating Christine, she did kind of say, like, she did want them at one point. And then when I got to the point of life where I think I said thing, I was like, well, I make enough money now that I think if you want these, like, we could really make this happen. And she was like, nah, I've learned to love myself and everything and just the way I am. And I was like, now I started picturing them.

[Chris Distefano]

Get some boobs. He'll pay for them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Get roast tips. I'll give it a. I don't think boobs would do anything to make anything.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, they would.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Any better?

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. It would make us like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You want to make us like, oh, yeah, yeah. So I could go be like, hey, guys, you want to see my new rack?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

The answer would be yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You want to see my tits?

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, I do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes,

[Chris Distefano]

of course I would. I'm 13.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I just. The idea of sitting with something that's like a complete foreign object on top of my body. Seems you're dating Jay

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lipo before I'm domestic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You think he's on top of.

[Chris Distefano]

You would. Oh, you said you would do lipo before.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's something about having the foreign thing do boobs.

[Chris Distefano]

Having a foreign thing inside of you

[Louis J. Gomez]

do it for us. It's like, what am I? Like, I'm never gonna be a young, hot girl. What am I trying to do here? You will if you get boob.

[Chris Distefano]

First of all, 40 year old Christine, you're pretty hot. Okay. And with boobs, you'd be hotter.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm not young. What am I trying to. What am I trying to have a baby with a successful man? I need to go trap.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you Good God.

[Chris Distefano]

God. That seemed like it was some truth.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, we gotta take a break.

[Chris Distefano]

Holy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, we got Louis J. Gomez in studio. I'm drinking body brain right here.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we're gonna get out of here in a minute, baby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James. Good to see you, kid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Going to a concert.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. James is gonna go see Bust the rhymes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So fun. James, you got a coffee or a candy you're promoting?

[James (Louis's son)]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Body brain coffee.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, Great coffee.

[James (Louis's son)]

I actually tried it. It was really good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James, what about the new creamer?

[James (Louis's son)]

The new creamer. I haven't tried it yet, so I can't say anything. I bet it's pretty good.

[Chris Distefano]

It's delicious. The creamer's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can go in your butt.

[Chris Distefano]

Don't listen to him, James.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't like coffee. This is bit so I put it on my butt.

[Chris Distefano]

He used to put pills in his ass. He had a tongue out. Ali pill. He had an ashwagandha pill. But now Instead of putting 11 pills in his ass, he just pours one cup of coffee into his and he's completely happy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One scoop. And now the creamer really helps it get nice and cool and goes in there.

[Chris Distefano]

That's why his hair goes.

[James (Louis's son)]

Also knives and spoons.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[James (Louis's son)]

On sale right now.

[Chris Distefano]

My promoting my stuff. James.

[James (Louis's son)]

On sale right now. Go get it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And Skank Fest.

[James (Louis's son)]

I've read. I've read like a few chapters is pretty good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

James, why don't you read that up there? The Skank Fest thing. Take us out.

[James (Louis's son)]

Okay. Lucia Gomez will be at Springfield Comedy company in Missouri June 5th. Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa on June 6th, and then Oklahoma City on June 7th. For tickets and all other toy tour dates, visit louisofskanks.com Skang Fest in New Orleans is November 13th through 15th at Mardi Gras World. Badges are only on. On are on sale [e-mail] wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to give this kid his flowers and let him know that that is, yeah, 100 times better than any reading you've ever done.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna say this. He did up twice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did say what he didn't do when he did sweat. Look over. Blame me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Didn't have your stupid eyes looking at

[Big Jay Oakerson]

him the whole time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're gonna up. I'm smarter than you, you loser. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your outdoor space is where you unwind

[Chris Distefano]

and make memories, so make it count.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Belgard pavers are designed to elevate your outdoors design forward and built to last. Learn [e-mail] that's B E L G A R D.com out on the road, it helps to have a partner like the Love's Rewards app. Download Love's Rewards today to get sweet discounts and earn points on food, fuel, drinks, and more. Every time you scan Love's Rewards, save and earn at every turn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Terms apply.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See website for details.