Muffulettas with Katherine Blanford

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Muffulettas with Katherine Blanford"
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: December 11, 2024
Host/Author: SiriusXM
Channel: Faction Talk, Channel 103

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, the hosts dive deep into a variety of topics, blending humor with candid conversations. The episode, titled "Muffulettas with Katherine Blanford," features guest Catherine Blanford (presumably misspelled from Katherine) who discusses her latest comedic endeavors while the hosts explore themes ranging from celebrity gossip and body image to nostalgic reflections on classic sitcoms.

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Celebrity Gossip: Eve’s Transformation and Marriage

Timestamps: 01:53 – 03:27

The episode kicks off with a discussion about Eve, a Philadelphia native who reportedly "married a billionaire white guy and lives in England." Big Jay expresses surprise, to which Robert nonchalantly replies, "It doesn't surprise me. I'd do it in five seconds." Catherine clarifies Eve's marital history, noting it might be her third marriage, adding depth to Eve's personal narrative.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson (02:10): "She apparently married a billionaire white dude and lives in England. That surprises me."

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Promoting Catherine Blanford’s Special: "Catholic Cowgirl"

Timestamps: 02:42 – 03:10 & 37:39 – 37:56

Catherine Blanford introduces her new special, "Catholic Cowgirl," premiering on YouTube. Big Jay enthusiastically promotes the special, emphasizing Catherine's comedic talent and promising fans a hilarious experience.

Notable Quote:
Catherine Blanford (03:10): "Thank you for being here, Catherine."
Big Jay Oakerson (37:56): "Watch her special where she's trying to pull herself together physically."

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Music and Pop Culture: "Moulin Rouge" and Beyond

Timestamps: 03:16 – 07:02

The hosts reminisce about the iconic song "Lady Marmalade" from Moulin Rouge, discussing its various renditions and performers. They compare Christina Aguilera's powerhouse vocals to Sabrina Carpenter's performances, highlighting Aguilera's superior talent.

Notable Quote:
Catherine Blanford (04:20): "I think that's it. I think it's what a girl wants."
Big Jay Oakerson (05:40): "She's ozempic poster child."

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Body Image and Fashion: The Great Pants Debate

Timestamps: 08:25 – 23:57

A significant portion of the episode revolves around body image, clothing styles, and the societal pressures associated with them. The hosts humorously debate the merits of wearing pants above versus below the belly button, discussing the implications each style has on perceived body image.

Notable Quotes:
Big Jay Oakerson (18:13): "It might start far back, you know, I mean, some people have a low butt. Some people have a low butt crack."
Robert Kelly (22:05): "You'Re getting camel toe."

Catherine contributes by explaining body shapes and how fashion tricks can accentuate or downplay certain areas, adding depth to the conversation about personal appearance and societal expectations.

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Nostalgia and Classic Sitcoms: "What's Happening"

Timestamps: 10:08 – 17:02

The trio delves into nostalgia, reminiscing about the 1970s sitcom What's Happening. They focus on the character Rerun, discussing his portrayal and the challenges he faces in the show, such as his weight and interactions with others. This segment blends humor with a critical look at how body image was addressed in classic television.

Notable Quote:
Robert Kelly (12:13): "There's also a white chick in the audience, too. That's with one of the black dudes."
Big Jay Oakerson (16:00): "He's the orc."

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Modern Fitness and Fashion: The Lululemon Pants Saga

Timestamps: 24:00 – 33:52

A lively discussion ensues about contemporary fitness attire, particularly focusing on the infamous transparency of Lululemon pants. The hosts joke about the impracticality and revealing nature of such clothing during workouts, sharing personal anecdotes and mocking the fashion choices.

Notable Quotes:
Big Jay Oakerson (24:34): "Normally, they feel lovely."
Robert Kelly (25:18): "Yeah. We go green and then black. What is that? Is that like."

Catherine offers her insights into how certain fashion trends can be both functional and problematic, maintaining the humorous tone while addressing the real issues of comfort and appropriateness in workout gear.

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Humorous Banter on Body Shapes and Relationships

Timestamps: 35:00 – 37:56

The conversation shifts to playful banter about body shapes, relationships, and personal insecurities. The hosts and Catherine tease each other about their physiques, using terms like "muffuletta" to describe body parts humorously. This segment exemplifies the show’s trademark mix of humor and personal discourse.

Notable Quotes:
Big Jay Oakerson (37:04): "Wait a second. You don't have a kid. Why do you have a C section scar?"
Catherine Blanford (36:18): "It's a negative hourglass. That's what I am."

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Closing Remarks and Future Promotions

Timestamps: 38:19 – 39:57

As the episode nears its end, Big Jay and Robert promote upcoming shows and specials, encouraging listeners to attend live events and check out Katherine’s new comedy special. They wrap up with a mix of humor and genuine appreciation for their guest and audience.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson (39:38): "Hope you're loving the bonfire."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire offers a blend of humor, sharp wit, and candid conversations. From celebrity gossip and nostalgic sitcoms to modern fashion critiques and personal anecdotes, Big Jay Oakerson, Robert Kelly, and Catherine Blanford create an engaging and entertaining experience for their listeners. Whether you're a regular fan or a newcomer, this episode provides a comprehensive look into the dynamic trio's comedic perspectives and insightful banter.

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Additional Highlights:

• Humorous Insights: The hosts' ability to intertwine personal stories with broader cultural discussions keeps the content relatable and amusing.
• Guest Contribution: Catherine Blanford adds a unique perspective, especially when discussing her special and engaging in light-hearted teasing.
• Interactive Elements: The casual, conversational style mimics a friendly hangout by the bonfire, making listeners feel included in the dialogue.

For those who haven't tuned in, this episode encapsulates the essence of The Bonfire—a space where comedy meets candid conversations, offering laughter and thoughtful commentary in equal measure.

Transcript

[Big Jay Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sport Clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the hail Marys for the football field because Sport Clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan to give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk. Bobby, you love guy places.

[Robert Kelly]

I love guy talk. And I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best place for me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the tv, and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like sport Clips. It's a game changer. High Five Casino, everybody. High Five Casino lets you play your favorite slot in live table games like blackjack with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Okerson]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Is any of this true? Eve married a billionaire white guy. What a Philly glow up. I like that. Fact check that. It's a bonfire, everybody. We're back.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you fact checking that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Eve? Philadelphia's finest. Eve. Remember Eve?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she fryders.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Tiger tattoo on her tits. I like Eve.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Tiger claw stitch.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. She was in a movie too. She did a little acting for a minute.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

She was good.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She apparently, they're saying, married a billionaire white dude and lives in England. That surprises me.

[Robert Kelly]

It doesn't surprise me. I'd do it in five seconds.

[Catherine Blanford]

Third marriage.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is it her third marriage? It might be. It might be a third marriage.

[Catherine Blanford]

That makes sense.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That would make more sense. She's like, no, I'm ready to stop working and rapping.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Maximillian Cooper. It's his husband. She began dating him in 2010. They became engaged in December 2013 and married in 2014 in Spain. She has four stepchildren Nice. Four white stepchildren getting yelled at by Eve. It's pretty great.

[Robert Kelly]

Throwing a fucking weave at him.

[Big Jay Okerson]

From Cooper's Pro. Can we see more on Maximilian Cooper? I like to find out, everybody. It's the Bonfire faction talk, Sirius XM103 Big Jokers and the great Robert Kelly sitting in studio with us, everybody. She has a new special out, premiering on YouTube this Thursday, everybody. This week, December 5th. It's called Catholic Cowgirl. It's on YouTube.com 8@800PGM. It's the hilarious and lovely Catherine Blanford, everybody. Thank you for being here, Catherine.

[Catherine Blanford]

Thank you for having me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Thanks for being. Were you a big Eve fan growing up?

[Catherine Blanford]

She was in Moulin Rouge, right?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Was she in Moulin Rouge?

[Catherine Blanford]

Yes, she was in Moulin Rouge. Maya was in Moulin Rouge.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, not the movie Moulin Rouge. The Booty Shop Up. Yes.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Lady Marmalade.

[Catherine Blanford]

The most important. Oh, yeah, yeah. The most important thing that came out of Moulin Rouge, that was Lady Marmalade.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. With Pink. Pink, Maya, Eve, Christina Aguilera and.

[Catherine Blanford]

No. Was Missy any? Was Missy?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No. So you're thinking of the fatter, blacker version of this song. That was called Ladies Night, and that's what happened. They even wheeled out Angie Martinez's body on that one. In a fucking wave runner. Angie Martinez is a radio dj. Why was she in the song? Yeah, Lady Marmalade was actually all good singers. They were all really good singers.

[Catherine Blanford]

It was. And then Christine Aguilera blew him out of the water. Side note, have you seen Christina Aguilera and Sabrina Carpenter sit on the couch and sing? It's like the anniversary of. What's Christina Aguilera's big song?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Genie in a Bottle.

[Catherine Blanford]

No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dirty.

[Catherine Blanford]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

God.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Come on.

[Catherine Blanford]

There's another one.

[Robert Kelly]

You mean a third big song?

[Catherine Blanford]

There's another one. And they're sitting on the couch.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're certain it's not Genie in a Bottle?

[Catherine Blanford]

Nope, it's not. It's something about. It's not beautiful either, but you are.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Beautiful no matter what you say.

[Catherine Blanford]

No, that's kind of when she got.

[Robert Kelly]

A little bit bigger.

[Catherine Blanford]

This is before she.

[Robert Kelly]

That was a big song. I used to sing that in the shower.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, is it Genie in a Bottle, What a girl Wants?

[Catherine Blanford]

I think that's it. I think it's what a girl wants. And they're sitting on the couch and you forget. You forget about Christina Aguilera. Because first Sabrina Carpenter goes out, right? And she's singing part of her song, and you see you can see Christine Aguilera's face just kind of like. And then Christina Aguilera comes in, and it's like, oh, this is what singing is like. Her pipes blow everything out of the water.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sabrina Carpenter's.

[Catherine Blanford]

No. Christina Aguilera.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Aguileras. Yeah, yeah.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's.

[Robert Kelly]

A picture of us.

[Catherine Blanford]

Do you see her sitting on the couch all smug right here?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Catherine Blanford]

She goes, this is cute.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Christina Aguilera, though, is the complexion of hot dog.

[Catherine Blanford]

She's ozempic poster child.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, yeah. She lost all the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kelly Clarkson did pretty good. Pretty good.

[Catherine Blanford]

But do you remember her? She had a bigger face and like.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

She got big.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Of course. Yeah. No, I do remember she got bigger.

[Robert Kelly]

She's. I don't like girls who wear nylons.

[Catherine Blanford]

Are you ready for this?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Watch this is gonna try, kiddo.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, geez.

[Catherine Blanford]

Good Lord, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn.

[Big Jay Okerson]

How much you put a boot on the back of her head and pull that face back does not change that voice, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Amazing.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She looks like a different human being, though. She has done so much surgery.

[Catherine Blanford]

I don't care.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, listen. Yeah. You don't have to listen to her face. Girls know her voice. No, she was always, like, crazy. That was like, a big thing, how talented she was.

[Catherine Blanford]

I know. We forgot about how good she was.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But it's also. It's like a J. It's like a Christopher Walken impression. Everyone's doing the J. Moore impression. I feel like young girl singers now always come out and they have. They do, like, the same, like, microphone treatment. And, you know, I mean, they're all doing, like, the same. The lip quivers. It's like they're all doing, like, a character of a singer.

[Robert Kelly]

They all hold the microphone. Like, they hate blowing guys.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Yes, I know.

[Catherine Blanford]

Like, ew.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Is sticky stuff gonna come out? Just sing the song.

[Robert Kelly]

And then. And in the background, they always have the big, fat black girls that can really sing.

[Catherine Blanford]

I know.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's so funny. They sit there. He goes, look at this little pipsqueak up there singing.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's Taylor Swift has, like, four of them and every. In every concert now.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And black women.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah, So.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I know, but they got those booming voices. They got those thick necks with skin tags on the back. Some of them are moles. Some of them are skin tags. They're all gross.

[Catherine Blanford]

And they all have their own story.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And each one tells their own story.

[Robert Kelly]

Christina, whatever the fuck her last name is.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Aguilera. Don't be racist.

[Robert Kelly]

She always dresses like a superhero.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, she is dressed like A dumb asshole. I will give you that for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

She dresses like she has powers.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Hey guys, I just got here from teaching space calisthenics. I'm back. Yeah. Sabrina Carpenter. I don't know why. You know what? I do know why I don't like her vibrant youth and nothing but good things ahead of her. That's why I hate her.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus Christ. Your dream is not dead. Your dream is alive.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's her vibrant youth and nothing but good. All potential and success still ahead of her.

[Catherine Blanford]

So sweet. And she wears these tiny little dresses. I don't think she has a badina. Can you say that on here?

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can say whatever you want.

[Catherine Blanford]

She wears the smallest, idiest bittiest little dresses and you never see anything.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Maybe it starts way back.

[Robert Kelly]

A badina. A what?

[Catherine Blanford]

Well, yes, I'm Catholic.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I'm Catholic too.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's a badina.

[Robert Kelly]

A badina.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Catherine Blanford]

But hers, I mean, it doesn't matter. Idios. Idiosyncratic, biddiest, teeny tiny.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It might start far back, you know, I mean, some people have a low butt. Some people have a low butt crack. Some people have a far back pussy hole.

[Catherine Blanford]

It starts in like the nape of her back.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Where is this thing at? He goes, no, the line's back. It's there though.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you not.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Doctors have a far back pussy?

[Robert Kelly]

Do you not swear? Do you not. Are you. Are you really religious?

[Catherine Blanford]

Well, I don't know where, but I like. You never know. You come. There's a. I feel like every time I go to Phoenix, I do a radio show before the show, the shows and I go, heisenberg ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One has hair and one doesn't, but one. You can say ass, you can say fuck. And then you say titties. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't say titty.

[Big Jay Okerson]

This is called an XL station over here. Sierra 6 7. We can do whatever we want.

[Catherine Blanford]

Okay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We were previously, before you came in, watching videos of people fuck themselves with nunchucks.

[Catherine Blanford]

Fuck themselves with nunchucks.

[Robert Kelly]

We're coming up with a plan in which we need to do some research.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It was market research.

[Robert Kelly]

Market research.

[Catherine Blanford]

Culprit. Appropriation. Cultural appropriation.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Okay, you know what I said? No, quick. And I really over thought it. Is it cultural? You tell me. Anybody of any race, man, woman or other.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Would put one one of the handles of nunchucks up their ass or respective holes and then fight against somebody else doing the very same thing while swinging their Ass nunchucks around.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's. It's okay as long as they don't have the rice hat on them. Correct. Shit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I was gonna go full Jerry Lewis, racist Asian with buck teeth and a rice hat.

[Robert Kelly]

I was actually gonna put a potted plant thing on my head and just get really thick glasses.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Make it the ultimate bad thing.

[Robert Kelly]

I was gonna do the old James Caan cowboy races.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. And then me or Bobby wearing a giant diaper will come out and bang a gong when the festivities will begin.

[Robert Kelly]

A gong.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I think I told you before that I watch. That was a funny moment I was able to remember on that yacht rock documentary I watched on Max last night on hbo. They had a whole thing about the episode. Do you remember? Did you watch what's Happening when you were younger? Yeah, what's Happening was a black sitcom.

[Catherine Blanford]

And my closest thing to that is my wife and children.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, way past that. Way before that, there was no My wife and Children without what's Happening.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But what's Happening was a. Because black shows were also pretty new back then. They didn't know how, like, what stars to get on the show. A guest stars. And they brought the Doobie Brothers is what they had on. They had the Doobie Brothers. And it's talking about, like, that's. The black people commenting in the documentary were like, that was my, like, learning about, like, what this kind of, like, yacht rock music was like the Doobie Brothers on what's Happening. Which is pretty cool. They had him on. But showing these young black men be super excited about meeting the Doobie Brothers was what I couldn't believe. Even when I watched the show. I'm like, I don't even know the do. I was too young to know who the Doobie Brothers were yet. And I was like, I don't think this is what the what's Happening guys watch. They show rock.

[Catherine Blanford]

They wanted to see these guys.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yes. And you'll see them dancing to it. You'll see the. You'll see the what's Happening. People like doing their little black people dances.

[Catherine Blanford]

No one's mouthing the words, though.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No one's mouthing the words. Look at him. Rerun Raj, D and fucking Dwayne. Hey, hey, hey.

[Robert Kelly]

The Plaza. One of them is bootlegging the concert.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And they catch him. Is that true?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes. I remember this episode.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, really? They really put a black problem on the Doobie Brothers. That's fucking hilarious.

[Robert Kelly]

There's also a white chick in the audience, too. That's with one of the black dudes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And Rerun went outside and started selling. He Made it home T shirts for Doobie Brothers. Hey, man, why you gonna spend 30 bucks inside? $10 right here. I was. Would never believe four black high school friends in the 70s would be super stoked to go see the Doobie Brothers or know any of the songs.

[Catherine Blanford]

Right? They thought it was going to be Reggae Doobie.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Absolutely. And they go, wait, it's just 17 white guys. And why is there so many? And none of them are brothers.

[Robert Kelly]

What is feathered hair?

[Catherine Blanford]

Doobie Brothers does sound.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It couldn't be blacker. The Doobie Brothers should have been the name of, like, Earth, Wind and Fire. This should be Earth, Wind and Fire.

[Robert Kelly]

But they. They put bongos up there and nobody's.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Playing them but Reruns. Rerun is a dancer. Rerun can't even Rerun dance to this. They just put him in a fat trench coat. He's the guy who's always put his.

[Robert Kelly]

Hands in the pocket of the trench coat just to keep it down.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hell yeah. It's been great performing for you. Fifteen black people. We'll see you later.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at Rerun with his hands in his pocket.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Absolutely. Rerun was shot by the cops right after the show. You know, how mean. Also, talk about the times of changing. Too fat. Fat. Oh, he was recording it. Fat Rerun. The beginning of. Bring up the opening credits of what's Happening.

[Robert Kelly]

That's funny. He stuffed a radio in his jacket.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like, Rerun was always in trouble. But I'll tell you how they end the. The opening credits of. Or the opening sequence of what's Happening. If you remember, it's at the end of it, it's all of them jumping on the back of a truck to, like, hitch a ride on a truck. And then just fat Rerun chasing after the truck because he can't catch it because he's too fat. And they just eventually have to leave him behind. That's how the show starts.

[Robert Kelly]

It's so funny, though, A Rerun isn't today fat.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Not even.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not even.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can I tell you something? I have a. I've always. I've said I've always been fat my whole life. And then Certainly in my 20s and 30s, I got fat. Really fat. But in my mind, I was always just a proportionate thing of what I always was. And when I go back and look at pictures of me as a young kid, I was nowhere near what would be considered like, fat today is how fat people are. But I was definitely like, I wasn't just me feeling fat. I was the fat one of the fat kids in school. And it's nothing approaching what you said.

[Catherine Blanford]

No one's picking you for their basketball team, right?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Right. Right.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, Dom DeLuise was considered fat back in the day, but if you go back and watch Dom, he's not even that fat.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're saying it's like he's like a p. It's like the fattest. These guys are like Kevin James at his lightest.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, Dom DeLuise is my goal weight.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I just want to get down to Dom DeLuise one Dom.

[Robert Kelly]

I just want fatso weight.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No doctor would understand that. I just want to get down the Dom DeLuise weight.

[Catherine Blanford]

If he's trying.

[Robert Kelly]

No, back. Back when he was in tv, not at the end of his life, he would. Yo, yo. When he was. When he was in Fatso, the movie Fatso, he was actually pretty skinny. Yeah, he's not that fat. Look at him here up in the. Not there, Christine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You keep bringing up the same picture. He says no to.

[Robert Kelly]

God damn it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's insane. Right there.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not that fat.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, he's not that fat.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not that fat.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's fat for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

He's fat, but not fat.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But go to the beginning of what's happening, please. This poor guy.

[Catherine Blanford]

This. If. If he's trying to catch the truck. Every time. If I'm director, every scene he enters in, he's out of breath.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Catherine Blanford]

The beginning of the show, he goes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Damn, dude, you got to start getting to the truck earlier. Go play. Play the song, too. It's great. Wow. Wow. That's. Reruns.

[Robert Kelly]

Weren't all these shows created by the white dude?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm sure.

[Robert Kelly]

What's his name?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Norman Lear.

[Robert Kelly]

Norman Lear, Right.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dwayne Wayne. All right, obviously, Stop trying to do up white activities.

[Robert Kelly]

What's next? Tennis ride?

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's laughing, though, because he stole the skateboard. Yeah. Rerun, jump. Ah, poor guy. They had to make him eat at first. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

They're hitchhiking.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, they were gonna hitchhike, but he's like, I'm not picking up your big, fat friend. And they just start reeling off without him.

[Robert Kelly]

He's running pretty well.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And that's it. That's how the credits end every week. Fat rerun. He almost got drilled by a car because he's running out of breath.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's the only believable way.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He goes, yeah. And then rerun a catch up. And you guys will get him on the truck. He goes, he ain't catching that truck.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. Every time they have fat people in stuff, they always have to make you do fat shit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Could you imagine if you were driving a pickup truck and then three black guys just jumped in your pickup bed? And when did you keep going? So scary of a moment, like, what's happening?

[Catherine Blanford]

You're like, they're ducking. They're getting shot at. They're not. Dude also he had on suspenders. Did you notice that? And they're not even. Just like he has on a. Of pants that are like, oh, up to his. Up to his.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

I always wish, I wish when I was at my fattest that I had balls enough to do the. Over the belly button.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh my God.

[Catherine Blanford]

That's what they had to accentuate the fat.

[Robert Kelly]

There's two fat. There's two fat. When you wear your pants, there's two styles. There's under the belly button and then there's guys who have the balls to bring it up over.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's not people with balls. That people have given up and they're public defenders. They always, they have a briefcase. If you wear your pants over the middle of your belly button and you're fat, you have a briefcase that's only got a sandwich and a Ziploc bag.

[Catherine Blanford]

Inside of it or you're a villain.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. There's just no, nobody. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a mob boss.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It was a nickname for you. Exactly. He's the orc.

[Robert Kelly]

When you ever get, when you're fat and you get fitted for a suit, they always go, you above the belly button or below the belly button, you're like, I'm below.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You know what I am? You fucking ass.

[Catherine Blanford]

That's hid. That's, that's high waisted.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the thing. But the reason why that's good is because you can, you can kind of look a little thinner. You're kind of using a tourniquet to suck in your fat and push it down to your balls on the second way that shirt's coming.

[Catherine Blanford]

If I go under the belly button, the same man.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, same guy. But the second way, when it's tucked down, it's going to untuck during the wedding and you're going to look like a fucking slob for sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But I still say go below.

[Robert Kelly]

Go below.

[Catherine Blanford]

Well, you know what I think about go.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Then it looks like I go, yeah, look, my upper body is a little thing, but I'm very shapely underneath. You guys would be surprised. No, I know, I have. I actually have a 56 inch stomach but my waist is like 32.

[Catherine Blanford]

It does look like. I've always thought that that was part of the guy's fashion. When the muffuletta was hanging out, it was like a part of the shirt.

[Robert Kelly]

What the fuck is that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

What's the muffetta?

[Catherine Blanford]

The muffaletta. The part of the muffin that hangs over.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Got you.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like that a hot chick just told us what our stomachs are.

[Catherine Blanford]

She's aware it's a part of your fashion.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Catherine's seen me at sea. She's aware of what's going on.

[Robert Kelly]

She actually saw your muffaletto.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She may have seen my muffaletto in a wee hour walking around situation.

[Catherine Blanford]

I saw it dancing.

[Robert Kelly]

You saw his muffaletto dancing?

[Catherine Blanford]

By the way, Jay was still.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. The muffaletta was there though. It made its own appearance.

[Robert Kelly]

If you could hear love, what would it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Dad, I think we should. Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. [e-mail] an OHA initiative at Metro.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Get an iPhone 12 with 5G and a dual camera system on us. Take amazing pictures and share them instantly. And don't put up with life's yada yada yada like photo bombers, zoom, crop out, yada yada and bye. You don't take yada yada in life. Don't take yada yada from your wireless provider. Get iPhone 12 with 5G with no activation fees and nada yada yada. Only at Metro by T Mobile. Switch now bring your ID and sign up for a Metro Flex plan offer not available if currently at T Mobile or been with Metro in the past 180 days. You know guys, when it's time to tame the mane, don't settle for just any cut head straight to Sport clips. Right now, the pros in men's hair. Have you ever checked out a sports clips Bobby?

[Robert Kelly]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sport Clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the Hail Marys for the football field. Because Sport Clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan to give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk, Bobby, you love guy places.

[Robert Kelly]

I love guy talk and I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best Place for me?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the tv, and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like sport clips. It's a game changer.

[Unknown]

Why get all your holiday decorations delivered through Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two wreaths but have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very eager with the Advent calendar. Or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm. Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season, Instacart's here for hosts in their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Fucking rerun. What a great character. Yeah. I've never done the pants in the middle of the belly button. It's a nightmare. I couldn't imagine what my Kalta does. It wears it over the middle.

[Robert Kelly]

He wears it over the middle.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's just. That's. You either have to be rich and don't care and be like, I have enough money. She'll get past this, or you can't do. But I'm not like it is.

[Robert Kelly]

I tell you what, though, it is more comfortable if you're going to a wedding and you're wearing a suit and you pull it up over the belly button, or at least on the belly button, you just don't have to worry about the shirt coming undone.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, but the problem is the front of the pants now are 12 inches away from my dick. So.

[Catherine Blanford]

You'Re getting camel toe.

[Big Jay Okerson]

My belly's gonna have this out here, and there's gonna be nothing in this area between my dick and fucking the rest of the pants.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, when I was at my fattest, I used to have them put an extra button on the bottom of shirts.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, because they never put the. There's always that, like, three inches of flop. And if you put a button down there, it. When it doesn't come untucked now, it's.

[Catherine Blanford]

Almost like an elastic band down there.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why don't you just put elastic at the bottom of all your shirts?

[Robert Kelly]

I would have if I even thought of it. I didn't. I didn't know a hot white chick was gonna fucking clue me on my muff. A great fat trick that's aging things, too.

[Big Jay Okerson]

When they say things that goes. And they have these new jeans that have that good stretch. Yeah, give me some stretch jeans. Jeans with stretch. I'm giving into all of it, though. This is my first pair today. I'm wearing my Lululemon pants, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

I have wearing. Not Lululemons because those are expensive, but I've been wearing those style for a long time.

[Big Jay Okerson]

These weren't that expensive, are they?

[Robert Kelly]

Lululemon's expensive, these pants? Yeah. Dude, you shop where fucking gay men.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And women shop, so I know.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't care. Be you, dude.

[Catherine Blanford]

Put it on. That's all I have to say. Put it on. Try it on and you understand. You. It feels amazing, does it not?

[Robert Kelly]

I have these.

[Catherine Blanford]

What is that? Is that TJ Maxx?

[Robert Kelly]

No, this is. Fuck you. I love TJ Maxx.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Bobby. What's that Ross dress?

[Robert Kelly]

I just spent $300 at TJ Maxx. I had my. I called my wife ago. You have to come get me.

[Catherine Blanford]

What did you.

[Robert Kelly]

She's like, why? I go, I just bought everything at TJ Maxx. It's all 19.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Bobby. What is that? Marshalls while you're waiting in line?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I love Mar Socials, too. No, these are Under Armour. Makes these the same type of stretchy, like, sweat panty.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why is it Lululemon? Because you think you're going to be judged?

[Robert Kelly]

No, because I've never fit in Lululemon.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, you wouldn't now.

[Robert Kelly]

I would now, but I don't. You know. Was that 150 bucks for a pair of pants?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't think so.

[Robert Kelly]

It's expensive. Lululemon's expensive? Yeah. Look at her nod in her head.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They feel lovely.

[Robert Kelly]

50, but they were over 100.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They feel great.

[Robert Kelly]

They feel fantastic. But you can get the same feel.

[Big Jay Okerson]

When I bend over. You can see I'm not wearing underwear.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you not wearing underwear?

[Catherine Blanford]

But it makes it look a little bit better. I don't know what it is.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're not wrong. I'll tell you the Lululemon that when they told me that, that was the. Talk about the exact time I got into doing CrossFit for the two years I did CrossFit.

[Catherine Blanford]

How's your neck?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Okerson]

All fucked up. My neck and back speed. Weightlifting is not how you're supposed to exercise. It's not what you're supposed to do. But I would have probably quit that in a month, except there was that big news came out. This is years ago. And they were like, lululemon's gonna have to recall a bunch of things. Because as soon as you bend over in these things, you see your entire, like. It's like your see through Pants, basically.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And then everybody just kept buying them. And then my CrossFit move was like, post up behind an ass. You didn't always want to get behind the best ass because it might not have enough oomph to stretch the pants out, to see through enough. So you went behind someone who's trying to get it.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that you did physics as a pervert.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, yeah. Just some hot chicks not going to stretch those pants out enough to see the stuff. So you got to get someone who's on their way down and then. Yeah, there you go.

[Catherine Blanford]

You're looking at a strained bedina.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, well, no, they usually wore underwear. You'd be surprised when people work out in thongs, which I feel would be uncomfortable.

[Robert Kelly]

I really, really love her adorable words for fat guys and vaginas. Vadina and malfray. What am I. What do I have again?

[Catherine Blanford]

Muffaletta.

[Robert Kelly]

Muffaletta. That sounds like something you get in an Italian restaurant. You got two muffalettas, please.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I know somebody whose last name is Muffuletta.

[Robert Kelly]

Are they fat? No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Catherine Blanford]

They could probably eat whatever they want and they stay skinny. Are they like that?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, I like that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

See, Bobby, look. You see the tags, by the way? You didn't need much. If I saw the underwear tag peeking through, you're like, ooh, not supposed to be seeing that. That's exciting. And then just get you through the stupid fucking part of the workout that's.

[Catherine Blanford]

All posted, showing that they're just showing their butts.

[Robert Kelly]

Does look good, though. You can see right there.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, just straight through.

[Robert Kelly]

Straight through.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's crazy what they do.

[Robert Kelly]

What are those? Pants that look like leather but they're not pleather? No. What is that? It's like a shiny pleather. No, stop. It's shiny. It's not leather, but it's like shiny pleather.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Catherine Blanford]

Are you talking like or. I got it. Faux leather.

[Robert Kelly]

No, that's it. That's it.

[Catherine Blanford]

Leather.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you talking about like this? Because this is. Yes. What is that? Is that pleather? No, no, but it's. It's like a cloth material.

[Catherine Blanford]

Vegan.

[Robert Kelly]

Not like leather. It's almost like.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Not like leather.

[Robert Kelly]

Skinny leather. That one is called.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's.

[Catherine Blanford]

That's faux.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Okay, hang on. Go to those glimpse men's pants, Bobby. There's got to be a day, one week, we both wear these.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll do it Monday.

[Catherine Blanford]

You'll both have to be standing up the whole time.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Don't you tell me how I have to live, Catherine.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll Wear those at the Christmas show.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Absolutely, dude. You want to both wear pleather pants, buddy?

[Robert Kelly]

I've always wanted to have pleather pants.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thought about this. These things are very difficult to get on, apparently. Why don't they make a pair of them lined with some kind of fur, maybe a faux fur, and they slide right on then.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you're supposed to jizz in them and then you slide in them.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, I don't think that's how it works.

[Robert Kelly]

My filettos wouldn't fit in those.

[Catherine Blanford]

I was about to say you're going to have to get some elastic attached to that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No. I don't know if you know this. I don't know if you know this. My belly button, the back is about 67 inches, but my waist is only 27. So now you're probably not going to be able to see the belt loops or buttons on it. But if that doesn't matter to you, you're still going to see my knees and upper and lower thigh.

[Catherine Blanford]

You wear that on the bottom and then you get a TJ Maxx tunic on top.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Catherine Blanford]

By the way, this is. This is. You have like. When you get the pants that are buttoned on the bottom. I may. I'm a girl. I don't have a great stomach. So this is what you do, by the way. You get when you have to get those things that are.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You just turn Bobby on so much by saying that. And he's never stopped. He hasn't stopped staring at your stomach yet.

[Catherine Blanford]

Let me. Let me tell you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Let me tell you.

[Robert Kelly]

I just think it's ridiculous that she says she doesn't have a great stomach to me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And you try and trick you into showing it.

[Robert Kelly]

We have a thing that's called a manflato, whatever the fuck you call that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

A muffler. You guys want to show her mufflers together?

[Catherine Blanford]

That's the girl you hook up with just on vacation.

[Robert Kelly]

A muffler.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That is a great name for that. Hey, you're not going to tell. Hey, you don't live anywhere near New York, do you?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It has to be a third world country, though.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey, where's home for you? Where do you think? Wisconsin.

[Robert Kelly]

Perfecto. Muffler, bro.

[Catherine Blanford]

You scored yourself a muffaletta.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you say? You don't have a good stomach. You have a great stomach.

[Catherine Blanford]

No. You wear stuff like this.

[Robert Kelly]

You have a great stomach, and then.

[Catherine Blanford]

You get a tunic.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why won't you let Bobby tell you? Why do you not like compliments? Why can't Bobby tell you about your great stomach.

[Robert Kelly]

You have a great stomach. You're fucking in shape.

[Catherine Blanford]

I'm just, I'm telling. I'm just. I'm letting you guys know our trick so you can eye it. Just so you know what's wrong with your stomach when you take home a muffaletta?

[Robert Kelly]

Did you have a baby out of wedlock when you gave it away cause your career?

[Catherine Blanford]

Well, I got.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Wait a second. You don't have a kid. Why do you have a C section scar?

[Robert Kelly]

Why do you have a roadmap stomach? What did you do?

[Catherine Blanford]

I go see my third special.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna get him back if it makes money.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm just doing this till I can get. It's like stripping. I'm just doing this so I can get my kids back for.

[Catherine Blanford]

But here, let me tell you. If you see tight, tight, tight, tight pants like this on a girl and then a flowy top, that's a girl with good legs and a. Not a great midsection.

[Robert Kelly]

You just describe my wife.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, for sure. Yeah. Christine's found out. She pointed it out. She goes, if someone's got a beautiful face, and then every picture is of that beautiful face, their body is a dump of shit. We found that out the hard way more than once.

[Robert Kelly]

Too many close ups.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We found the hard way. She saw it coming too. She goes, this girl is going to be a big girl. And I was like, seems like she's very pretty. And then she showed up and boy, oh boy. It was boy, oh boy. It was the only time ever me and Christine had a quiet discussion of like, you finish her. So it's over with.

[Robert Kelly]

Make her some food and get her out of here.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, it was all. We were not. Bullied is the wrong word. We were like. It was too late to be like. We couldn't think of a reason to be like, we're not going to fuck. So we were just like, me and Christine looking at each other while this. While this large woman is in the throes of passion on the bed. Me and Christina are looking at each other over her, going like, can we please. It's over with. If one of us doesn't finish this, we have to get out of here.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine was like, hey, I'm gonna make a pot roast. Are you interested? Yeah, pot roast. You got me potatoes with that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

He goes, yeah, it's out there on. It's out the window. She goes out the window and just slam the door behind her and start nailing it shut.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I was like.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't really want to.

[Robert Kelly]

People I haven't met yet. You said that. I think we need to meet the person before we decide we're going to have sex with them.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We learned. We learned that the hard time.

[Catherine Blanford]

Send a360. Send a360.

[Robert Kelly]

How young are you? Why do we not know any of these fucking terms?360 shot, but this is.

[Catherine Blanford]

What I want in it. It's like a kidnap situation. You have to put a newspaper with the day so it's not an old one.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's absolutely right. He goes, hey, why is there, like, a new Camaro in the back there?

[Robert Kelly]

That's why I have seven different pictures at the Cellar.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey, why does your car say class of 75 on it? Hey, I don't mean to be detective here, but this picture, the car in the background's got a class of 75.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, real quick. Is that. Is that David Lee Roth at a Van Halen concert?

[Catherine Blanford]

Guys, not a great stomach.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on. Is that her? This is on her Instagram.

[Catherine Blanford]

Dude, check out. Check out those biceps.

[Robert Kelly]

You guys didn't know that she wasn't one of the gladiators?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, you might remember Catherine as Zap from TV used. What the.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, why would you. Why would you let that in your house?

[Catherine Blanford]

Y. When I was a. When I was a American Gladiator, just ch.

[Robert Kelly]

Super face with the shittiest editing ever, by the way.

[Catherine Blanford]

Guess what? That didn't help ticket sales. A. I. I was a. What is it? American Ninja Warrior.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah. I was that when it was racist.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that what your stomach looks like?

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah, I freaking wish.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Bobby, we could pull off these pants. I think I would pull them off.

[Robert Kelly]

We could definitely do that. With the right shirt that hangs over.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Enough, I think I could probably pull off, like, a shiny pant. But it couldn't be that form fitting as little. That's where it's gonna look weird on me.

[Robert Kelly]

I want that, though. I want it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You want a nice thigh grip on your thigh grip.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, I want a nice. I want a nice. I want it to look tight on my calves.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I can't wait till I.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's gonna have to be tailor made.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, without a doubt. Or else the first time we bend down like Lenny Kravitz, our fucking wieners are gonna plop out, but they're not gonna hit the floor. Just gonna be dangling like little birds.

[Robert Kelly]

But this is the thing. If we do wear them no underwear, we have to take the risk.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

100% risk.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, 100%. You're gonna get hose burns all over your wiener, though, for sure.

[Catherine Blanford]

You're gonna have to get yonder bags to collect people's phones, so you don't see my Pokemon.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, man. Not green, though, either.

[Catherine Blanford]

I like green.

[Robert Kelly]

I like the green, too.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's also in.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we go green and then black. What is that? Is that like.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I would go with a louder color or black?

[Robert Kelly]

What's louder than that Christmas show? Get green if. Yeah, if you get red, I'll get green.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Okay.

[Catherine Blanford]

Why don't you go shirtless if you're gonna do that?

[Robert Kelly]

What? Are you out of your mind? We have mom flowers.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh. I don't know if you know this, Catherine. I never told you this before in our friendship, but I don't have a great stomach. Remember, we met in sad stomachs and a sad stomach chat room.

[Catherine Blanford]

Anonymous.

[Robert Kelly]

It'd be funny if she really did have a shitty stomach, though.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No way.

[Robert Kelly]

Her belly button was an innie Audi.

[Catherine Blanford]

Dude, I'm telling you, this is a. It's a shape. It's like. What's. What's the shape? It's like a. It's like a negative hourglass. That's what I am. These. These girls have the shape. You know what I'm talking about?

[Robert Kelly]

We're looking right at you.

[Catherine Blanford]

We stopped.

[Robert Kelly]

Limbs negging yourself. You're insane.

[Catherine Blanford]

Tiny limbs.

[Robert Kelly]

You're beautiful.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Thin legs and arms shape.

[Catherine Blanford]

Thin legs and arms. And then your stomach's kind of like. Like the Appalachian Mountains or something like this. It's a bit of like.

[Robert Kelly]

We're staring at you. You're not.

[Catherine Blanford]

I'm just telling you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Can I ask you what you're talking about? Are you talking about. I've seen. This is an interesting thing. Sometimes it seems like someone has a weird body, but, like, its shape. Like you're saying. I've seen girls that are thin. Nothing to do with weight or being heavy at all, but like, their body goes almost like that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like, back, front. And it's almost like there's a stomach, but there's not a stomach. It's just the body. Curves.

[Catherine Blanford]

You have a lazy athletic body.

[Robert Kelly]

You do.

[Catherine Blanford]

That's what it's called. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You have a lazy athletic body.

[Catherine Blanford]

It's a lazy athletic body. You're fit, but your body's like. But. Ugh.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you out of your mind?

[Catherine Blanford]

I'm telling you. Go.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm staring right at her.

[Catherine Blanford]

You're like the. Yeah, I do CrossFit.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you. Look who you're talking to, Pop.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Stop drinking her in. Up and down. It's uncomfortable for everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm trying.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She keeps going. She goes, I got this kind of body. You're like, come on, what's up? What are we talking about here?

[Catherine Blanford]

I just go to V, Go to Vegas this summer, go to the pool party and you'll see what I'm saying. I'm just saying we have tricks. And this is the thing is you wear. You wear a long. A long tank top with flowy and then short, short. And that is a lazy, athletic body. There's a lot of those. It's the outskirts of the Midwest that have that kind of body.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're not wrong. It definitely is. It's how a meth addict will make you think. She's not a meth addict until you check her teeth for about three years of meth.

[Robert Kelly]

Always gonna look at them knuckles.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can get three good years of meth. And if you keep dressing a certain way, if you just never smile and show what you look at.

[Robert Kelly]

A girl's knuckles.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because if they got dirty knuckles.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dirty knuckles? Yeah. Dude. What is that? What does that mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Sign of a prostitute, dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. They always have dirty knuckles, man. They got dirty knuckles and fucking bitten fingers.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You notice that when you see their hands wrapped around your wiener, you go, what's wrong with your knuckles? She goes, I'm a hooker. No one ever has a real answer what it is.

[Catherine Blanford]

What are you doing? Backwards hand jobs. Why is they. How do they get dirty?

[Robert Kelly]

Not me. I'm not giving hand jobs anymore. Not anymore. Do you know why?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because I'm on the bonfire with you.

[Catherine Blanford]

Because you show up at TJ Maxx.

[Robert Kelly]

I love TJ Maxx. I don't know why you're putting it down. I mean, you really are. I'm a big fan of TJ Maxx.

[Big Jay Okerson]

If you guys want to see Katherine Blandford, she is not showing her disgusting stomach. Catholic cowgirl.

[Robert Kelly]

Help her get.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She spares you. Looking at what can only be described as a grotesque body.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to make sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Play your game, Blandford.

[Catherine Blanford]

I'm. I'm middle of my career. Christina Aguilera right now.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Catherine Blanford]

Yeah. You just wait, guys, you're out of your mind. This special is going to pop off. I'm at a lot of money for oic.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like this cell, though. I like the Sellers. They're going to be like, this girl's hot. She's not fucking fat.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't even. I hate it. I hate hot chicks who say I'm not good looking.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Katherine Bl. Watch her special where she's trying to pull herself together physically.

[Robert Kelly]

Exactly. Yeah. Watch her special and see if she's up physically.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is she still the monster you remember from last year?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Or has she finally gotten it together? Everybody. The new special Catholic Cowgirl premieres on YouTube Thursday, everybody. December 5th, YouTube.com@800PGM. That's 800 pound gorillas thing. Go check it out. She's absolutely hilarious and I'm sure her stomach's fine. We'll be right back. Thank you so much for hanging out with us.

[Catherine Blanford]

Thanks.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We about to say goodbye, everybody. It's the bonfire.

[Catherine Blanford]

Every day is so wonderfully.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Robert Kelly, everybody. He's gonna be at the Gramercy Theater in New York City with the Regs, Joe List, Dan Soder, Lewis J. Gomez and our own Great Robert Kelly. December 11th. Everybody get tickets for that now. But they are going fast after that. He's going to be in Beacon, New York, Kansas City and Batavia, Illinois. And of course, every Tuesday night, including tonight, 7pm Fat Black Pussycat Lounge. If you're listening right now, get down there. It's at the Comedy Cellar.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm going.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Tickets and all tour dates. Visit Punchup Live. Robertkin Kelly, if you go now, you'll make it because Bobby hasn't left yet.

[Robert Kelly]

And make sure you check out Big J Comedy. He's going to be all over the place except this. Especially this Sunday at the Comedy Stanford Club in Stanford. Make sure you check him out. He's got one show then in Louis, St. Louis, West Palm, Providence, all over the place. Big J Comedy and BigJ Comedy.com and his special will be out soon. If you could hear love, what would it sound like?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Dad, I think we should. Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. [e-mail] an OHA initiative. Hey, it's Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. Hope you're loving the bonfire.

[Big Jay Okerson]

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