My Father's Son

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: My Father’s Son

Date: May 22, 2026
Podcast Host: SiriusXM Faction Talk
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

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Episode Overview

This episode of "The Bonfire" delivers the quintessential blend of raw stand-up comic storytelling and raucous, real-life anecdotes. Jay and Bobby unravel tales centered on live concert misadventures (primarily centering around Bobby’s family outing to a Steven Wilson Jr. show), interactions with fellow fans, and behind-the-scenes incidents at their comedy gigs—always laced with their trademark, no-filter humor. The theme explores the hilarious and humbling aspects of getting older, negotiating chaos with family, and the ridiculousness of life as a comedian—both on stage and in real life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bobby’s Steven Wilson Jr. Concert Fiasco

Timestamps: 01:12 – 15:15

The Outing

• Bobby recounts how SiriusXM hooked him up with tickets to see Steven Wilson Jr. in Portchester, NY with his wife (Dawn) and son (Max).
• General Admission Ordeal: The Kelly family arrived early, secured good spots, but found themselves "too old" for the harshness of standing through an entire show.
  • “I realized I’m just too old for general admission floor seats standing.” – Bobby (01:18)
  • Bobby’s plantar fasciitis, knee pain, and exhaustion dominated his night—“My feet, my plantar fasciitis was killing me. Then my knee started, like, swelling up…” (05:03)
  • Max, “a 185-pound kid,” was so tired he ended up sitting on the floor and then leaning on Bobby and Dawn for support.

The Set & The Stranger

• Opening act was a "hack, boring" old country duo—main act delayed by unnecessary tech.
• Dawn gets creeped out: A man begins "breathing on the back of her neck" (07:28)
  • Bobby gets protective: “So I step right in front of him, start jerking off into his face, okay? And I go, Don, take my spot. Just get over here. It was fucking weird.” – Bobby (08:10)
  • Turns out, the man was grieving his own father’s death (honored in Wilson’s "My Father’s Son") and recovering from knee surgery, leading to a heartwarming moment:
    • “He goes, ‘Hey man, I hope there wasn’t a problem. My dad just died.’” – Bobby (08:34)
    • Bobby hugs the man, has Max hug him too: “I just hugged him. I just grabbed him and hugged him. And I was like, yeah, man, it’s cool. Don’t worry about it.” (09:42)

The Comedic Spin

• Jay and Bobby riff on their dads, managing vulnerability with a joke (“My daddy said to me before I died, ‘I’ll never make him proud. And he called me gay. Anyway, this next song’s about him.’” – Jay, 07:03).
• The reality of celebrity interactions: Bobby anxiously texts Steven Wilson Jr., but gets no reply until the next morning, leading to classic “ignored by a star” anxiety.
  • “I kept checking my phone. Nothing. Nothing. And then when he came out, I kind of stood on my tippy toes to maybe he’d see me and go, Bobby Babo.” – Bobby (12:13)
  • Jay and Bobby tease each other with exaggerated celebrity brush-offs.

The Walk Back

• After the show, the family faces a sketchy walk to their car—Bobby likening it to the movie "Judgment Night" or Batman’s parents’ murder.
  • “From the theater to the car where we parked, it was fucking hairy…It was like, I felt like Batman’s parents.” – Bobby (14:27)

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2. Comedy Show Horrors: Pizza Gig & Waiter Wars

Timestamps: 17:10 – 33:03

Pizza Show Setup

• Bobby regularly performs a low-key gig for the free pizza, not for the stage—describes the venue, importance of pre-ordering pie, and the legendary quality of the pizza.
  • “I do it for the pizza. I go to the pizza place. It’s the best pizza I’ve ever had.” – Bobby (17:10)

The Gig Gone Awry

• The comedy room is awkwardly designed with mirrors, so Bobby ends up watching himself perform (“It’s the worst. The whole time I’m looking like, ugh.” – Bobby, 18:51).
• A waiter repeatedly walks directly in front of Bobby during punchlines, delivering food, showing total disregard for the show.
  • “The waiter walks in front of me, stands directly in front of me and delivers a bit of fucking big, huge bowl of truffle Mac and cheese…He just stands there and ruins, like. Ruins the bit.” – Bobby (21:09)
  • The waiter becomes increasingly petty, deliberately disrupting Bobby’s set.

Confrontation Angst

• Despite Bobby’s desire to address the disrespect, the show runner, Danny Braff, avoids confrontation.
  • “Did you tell him to go fuck himself? He goes, no, I just took it. I go, why would you not say something to him? He goes, I don’t like confrontation.” – Bobby (31:14)
  • Jay and Bobby debate the cowardice (or wisdom) of dodging direct conflict.

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3. Audience Call-Ins: Relatable and Wild Stories

Timestamps: 36:14 – 42:53

“Bloodletting” & “Crackle Boys”

• Not all call topics land, but the second caller, Evan from Houston (a Marine), shares how he lost his legs in action and deals with awkward restroom encounters as a wheelchair user.
  • “I lost my legs in war…sometimes I roll in to take a piss, and some dude is in the handicap stall…” – Evan (37:16)

Name That Tune

• Evan’s real mission: to identify a baseline from a past show. Bobby identifies the song (“Little Green Bag” from the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack) on air.
  • “I know what it is. It’s from the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack—Little Green Bag, dude.” – Bobby (39:01)
  • Jay and Bobby reflect on the deep satisfaction of recognizing a sought-after tune and how audience connections like this make the show.

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4. Comic Therapy and Afroman Justice

Timestamps: 43:47 – 49:17

Therapy Talk

• Bobby advocates for therapy, especially for men—“Best way to get those thoughts out is therapy. That’s how I do it. It’s changed my life.” (26:29)

Afroman Lawsuit Update

• Jay and Bobby discuss the viral saga of Afroman’s home being raided, the infamous "lemon pound cake" video, and the court case—which Afroman won handily.
  • “He won them all. He didn’t have to pay any money…She had to sit there and listen to the laughter.” – Jay (44:05)
• The duo lampoon the situation, Afroman’s “lazy” songwriting, and the ridiculousness of suing someone for going viral at your expense.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family and Aging:
  • “When I’m out with Dawn and Max, I’m in German Shepherd mode.” – Bobby (02:35)
  • “I am in constant fear of the world, especially when I’m with Dawn and Max.” – Bobby (03:14)
• On Concert Mishaps:
  • “He was a little zesty, too. He’s like, ‘My dad just died and my knee. I just had knee surgery.’” – Bobby (08:36)
• On Comedy Show Frustrations:
  • “Looking in your own eyes while you do your bit is... just unthinkable.” – Bobby (19:54)
  • “You and your fucking stupid ponytail. You don’t walk in front of a comic at my punchline. Took me five minutes to get to that point.” – Bobby, scolding the waiter (22:09)

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Highlighted Timestamps & Segments

• 01:12 – Bobby’s concert entry and old-man complaints
• 07:28 – The neck-breather confrontation and twist of empathy
• 12:13 – Bobby’s saga of texting Steven Wilson Jr. and anxiety about not being noticed
• 14:27 – “Judgment Night” walk back to the car
• 17:10 – The pizza show setup and food talk
• 21:09 – Ponytailed waiter ruins Bobby’s set
• 31:14 – The Danny Braff confrontation avoidance saga
• 37:16 – Evan the Marine’s call about handicap stall etiquette
• 39:01 – Music mystery solved: “Little Green Bag”
• 44:05 – Afroman court case riffing

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Final Thoughts

True to “Bonfire” form, this episode is a blend of big laughs, unvarnished honesty, and the unexpected—whether from family chaos at a concert, the indignity of stand-up in a room full of mirrors and oblivious waiters, or listeners sharing their striking life experiences. For fans of behind-the-scenes stand-up war stories, heartfelt moments hidden among raunchy banter, and the irreverence only Jay and Bobby can deliver, "My Father’s Son" is rich, relatable, and a prime slice of the Bonfire experience.

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Crackle crackle!

Transcript

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[Liberty Mutual Representative]

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[Comedic Sidekick]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Caller/Listener]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Got the man in me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a band I wish I would have seen in their prime.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Speaking of bands in their prime, I went last night. Lou got me tickets. Serious? Got me tickets to see Steven Wilson Jr. Thank you, Liam. Thank you, Liam. You're the best. But I realized I'm just too old for general admission floor seats standing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really.

[Bobby Kelly]

We. I went with dawn and Max and we got there too early. We went to eat. There's a. My favorite taco place is over right in Portchester. Bar. Taco bar. Taco Taco. It's amazing. So we went early because, you know, dawn, we should go to get dinner first and then get. You know, we'll be right there. Okay. So we went and got dinner. It was great. And then. But we were super early. So we walked over and we got into the venue early, which was good because it's general admission standing floor. So we kind of got fifth row. But I knew people it was gonna get packed. And then we got there a half hour early. Then the opening act went on, which was just. Just an old lady, old country lady and another dude on the guitar. They came in, sang into two microphones. She was amazing, voice was great, but

[Big Jay Oakerson]

it was a hack, boring.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was just, you know, I got a 12 year old that, you know. You know what I mean? My wife did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Max, yellow, show your cans to the old lady.

[Bobby Kelly]

Max was so tired by this point, halfway through her set, that he sat on the floor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'm like. And I'm like, get up, get up. And she's like, just leave him on the floor. And I'm like, you don't understand, honey. Everybody that walks by him or maybe kicks him or somebody's like, what the fuck you doing on the floor? He doesn't look like a 12 year old. He looks like a guy sitting on the fucking floor. And when I'm out with dawn and Max, I'm in German shepherd mode.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like he's drunk too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm. Fuck, I'm. I'm protective mode when I'm with you. I'm not in protective mode. I don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm in more relaxed, funny, I'm protective mode over you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but it's. I'm not worried about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't have to worry about you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have to protect you is

[Big Jay Oakerson]

what I have to protect you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like you live in constant fear of the world.

[Bobby Kelly]

I am in constant fear of the world, especially when I'm with Dawn and Max, that somebody's gonna fuck with them

[Big Jay Oakerson]

at Steven Wilson Jr. You gotta be a real next level psycho to lose your shit at that show.

[Bobby Kelly]

So she goes on. So I'm like, great. Now it's. It's okay. Perfect. Seven o', clock, 7:30. He's coming on. They did a half hour before he came on. So now we just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who died?

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody. She went on at 7, got off at 7:30. Then we had to wait till 8. So Stephen came on. Yeah, but there was no set change. They came out with a guitar. Okay. There was no. It was. The whole set was prepared.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He has a band.

[Bobby Kelly]

He has a band.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

So everything was done. But was bugging the out of me. There was a tech guy that was walking around doing things that could have been done at 3:30. Like he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or at least when the old lady and the guy were out there, dude, anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

All the stuff he was doing was stuff that shit like he was putting, like getting gaffer tape and taping stuff. And then he was just like coming out. He came out with a guitar once, then he came out eight more times with the guitar. It's like, dude, get it done. And then he just kept walking very nonchalant back and forth, looking around at everything. And you're waiting for him to give like a thumbs up that never came. So that was a half hour of just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I promise you, whatever it is, that's time that's like, set time. Why he was nonchalant is because he knows Steven Wilson's not going on until whenever he came out. They keep that. That's like. That's pretty. I know from going around with those bands, it's a big deal. The time starting.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I didn't know. It's. If I knew, it's. He came on at 8, which I should have found out. I would have got there a little later.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, nobody wants to go on before 8 as a headliner. It just seems like a weird time. You're going 7:30. Like people aren't here. Like they're not ready for a nighttime thing yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eight o'. Clock.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't care about that. My feet. My plantar fasciitis was killing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll admit. They didn't take that into consideration.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then my thoughtless. Don't forget my knee started, like, swelling up and my cramp. Cramping. My. My calf was cramping. Then Max was so tired. He's leaning on both me and Don. He's 185 pound kid. And I'm like. I don't want to be like, hey, man, can. Can you get off me? Cause he's tired. At one point, I was like, dude, you gotta give me a break. You gotta get off me. It's like my leg is killing me. And then finally, Stephen comes out, and he is live, fucking amazing. Got energy. He reminded me of Eddie Vedder. That's the energy he comes out with. Like, as soon as he walks out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wrote a bunch of political bullshit on his arm.

[Bobby Kelly]

He didn't do any of that shit. He was. He didn't do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He has his hair in his face like he was annoyed to be there.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's what Eddie Vedder does.

[Bobby Kelly]

He does that now. Let's not do that. And you saw him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not now, not now. But he used to come out like this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. Back when you were doing wigger comedy. Eddie did do that. Magic's just attacking you right now. Y' all ready?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yo, I still do. Most of my comedy's wiggery.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He came out, yo, what up, girl? You see a girl with some fine ass tit? That's what I'm talking about.

[Bobby Kelly]

He came out and was awesome running around. His speeches in between were, like, short and. But cool. You know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Palestine. All right, let's go.

[Bobby Kelly]

None of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry. Let's go. Israel.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, none of that either.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nuke. Iran.

[Bobby Kelly]

He gave. He gave a beautiful speech about his Father when he. He was on the road when he died, and he actually said goodbye to him on his cell phone on FaceTime. And he said. He said, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you four times, which I thought was cool. And then he was amazing. He was great. The show was great. The band was great. Everybody was great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My daddy said to me before I died, I'll never make him proud. And he called me gay. Anyway, this next song's about him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your daddy was like, yo, man, why don't you stop being. Why don't you stop acting black?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nah. My dad saw me on Comic View and told me I needed a manager and I should consider him, I swear to God.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then you had to tell him that. Pete did. He was already your manager.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not yet. Not yet he wasn't. But I wasn't ready to go to the Gary Okerson. The Gary Okerson Agency.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then. So then I'm sitting there and it started. It was all packed up by the time he came on. And then Dawn. Dawn goes. She kind of has a face like. She kind of like, what the fuck? I go, what's wrong? She goes, this guy is breathing on the back of my neck. And I look, and there was a guy, literally leaned in, like, almost looked like he was sniffing Don's hair. So I step right in front of him, start jerking off into his face, okay? And I go, don, take my spot. Just get over here. It was fucking weird. So I get. I just get in front of his face. I go, like, I'm talking to Don, but you're in his face. I go, you got a problem, Don? Is everything good? Don't. And I'm in his face, and he's looking at me like, what? And then I just go, step over here. And then I stepped in front of him, and I was hoping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was hoping that he would breathe on the back of my neck because I was so hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dehydrated.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was like, oh, God, this guy's got something, huh? Sexy motherfucker.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then I'm sitting there, and he's behind me, and then he. And there was that tension of, you know, that moment of I kind of got in his face like, what are you doing, you fucking weirdo? And then he taps me on the shoulder. He taps me on the shoulder, and he goes, hey, man, I hope there wasn't a problem. My dad just died, and Stephen Wilson Jr. Was singing My Father's Son. And he points down to his leg, and he just had some knee Surgery. He had a full brace on his knee, and he was kind of just leaning in because he was sad, and the song was hitting him so bad, he didn't realize he was leaning into so close. He's like, my j. My dad just died, and he almost started crying. And I think he was a little zesty, too. He's like, my dad just died, and my knee. I just had knee surgery. And I just. You know, I'm sorry if there was a problem. And I was like. And you just hear Steven Wilson singing about my dad, father's dying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's really sad.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I lost your dad.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just hugged him. I just grabbed him and hugged him. And I was like, yeah, man, it's cool. Don't worry about it. And I just. I go, here, sit. Stand next to my wife.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want a French kiss?

[Bobby Kelly]

I go, here, you can. You can have her for a little while. Oh, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lou, slowing down the fucking Rocky song as your story's falling to pieces is so fucking hilarious. So people listening to that at home heard. He goes, 10 and 10.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then the guys. The guys all teared up and shit. I felt like that I kind of got into his face, and he wasn't a tough guy. He was. He looked. He was just this little. Little zesty guy that was sad that his dad died this week and he had knee surgery, and the song was hitting him so hard that he was just almost crying into Don's neck. So then I just put him where I was, and I just stood behind him. And then when I left, I went up. I was like, hey, man, I'm sorry about your dad. And he's like, okay, thank you. And then Max went up and gave him a hug because I told him, because Max was ready to fight him, too. Max was like, is there a problem, dad? I'm like, chill, dude. Chill. The dude's dead.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Guy's breathing on my ball.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, right. Exactly. So then we were.

[Caller/Listener]

We.

[Bobby Kelly]

We actually wound up leaving a little. Little early because Max was. Dawn was like, look, we gotta. We gotta go. Which fucking killed you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And dawn got sexually harassed. Max didn't enjoy the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then I. I text message Stephen before the show. I text Max, hey, I don't know

[Big Jay Oakerson]

if you know, we're here if you need to know where we're at. We'll be wherever the problem is. We'll be with the. He goes, if you want to know where we're sitting, it's going to be the place where it looks like there's nobody there but it's because my son's sitting. He doesn't give a shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And I'm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My wife's being sexually molested and I'm trying to fight a guy with a knee brace whose dad just died. So I might not catch you after the show, but good luck tonight.

[Bobby Kelly]

I texted him before the show and, you know, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be like, you know me, I up on these things. I've ruined so many famous people relationships. So I. I really just kept rewording it and this is what I wrote. Hey, I wrote this. Tell me if it's good. This is before the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is all right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wrote, have a great show, dude. Me and the wife and the kid are excited to see you. This place is awesome. The theater was great. Right? And I'm sitting there waiting and waiting because you know me, I'm like, maybe he's going to come out and point to me or where are you? Or, hey, dude, after this, you gave

[Big Jay Oakerson]

him the whole rundown. The wife and the kid, me are all here. You're letting him know. It's like I brought up. So give me a little something here.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I kept checking my phone. Nothing. Nothing. And then when he came out, I kind of stood on my tippy toes to maybe he'd see me and go, bobby Babo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you did that. And you were only 5, 10.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did. I couldn't. I couldn't get in front of the girl in front of me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That sad guy blocked your view the whole time. He licked on's neck and then he chumped you and your boy into hugging him.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I got nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. That guy went home excited that night. He's like, yo, breathe on a chick's neck and then just lie. Then I bumped dicks with her, with her son and husband.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then he didn't text me at all during the whole show. And I was getting nervous that we were leaving a little earlier because what if he's gonna probably text me and be like, yo, man, come by the bus or come say hi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He wasn't gonna do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't. I didn't get shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Until this morning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, that's the right time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got a heart and I got. Oh, dude, I didn't know you all were there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. That's what I would. That's the lie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry. I was doing radio and getting ready when you texted me. Yep. Thanks for being there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, I've sent a lot of those.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fuck, dude. You were at the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mmm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, dude, I wanted to fucking hang afterwards and go to that bar with you like you kept saying that we should do. Oh, all those. Remember all those places that you want to take me that I don't want to go to. Fuck, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shit. I didn't get to hang out with you and your family, uncomfortably. Fuck me. I'm gonna kick myself the whole tour for that. Anyway, watch your face. Talk to you next time. What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Anyway, who's your face? Oh, and your kid was there. I didn't get to hang out with him after a fucking show. Fuck, that's killing me, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

I see that you like all my videos on Instagram, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I'm a real son of a on this one. Don't. You know what, dude? If I were you, I wouldn't come next time.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then walking from that place. Dude, I tell you what, Porchester. It's a nice little town, but after.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Around.

[Bobby Kelly]

After the sun goes down, it turns into that fucking Dennis Leary film Judgment Night. It turns into Judgment. I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I call it a pivot film, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

From. From the theater to the car where we parked, it was fucking hairy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it. We didn't come out with everybody. If we come out at the end with all the other white people, all the other dudes that look exactly like me. Yeah, it would have been all right. We came out just me. It was like the end. It was like. I felt like Batman's parents.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, you're fresh off of gay hugs.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was. It was raining. Cold rain.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dawn's lost respect for you at this point.

[Bobby Kelly]

We had to walk under the train. The train bridge, which was creepy as shit because it was just guys in the shadow on both sides. And then as we were walking under, we just heard a guy flipping out. You. You walk in this motherfucking hood, you don't know who the fuck's here, motherfucker. You walk around confident and shit. Fuck that. And Max is like, what's he saying? I'm like, nothing. Keep moving. Stop stopping. Just go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that billionaire Thomas Kelly?

[Bobby Kelly]

We have to. We have to make it to the Mexican popsicle place.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby saw his accident to see his son's. His parents killed on the way from a Steven Wilson concert.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was hairy, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, shit. And he doesn't become a Batman. He just becomes a bum. Also. He just never leaves back from living under there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he was great, though. He was great. If we ever get a chance to see him again, we should go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd love to And.

[Bobby Kelly]

And get seats. I'll never stand again. I. I'll never stand again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Two things we have to address.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, sir.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here. We need subjects. A couple more subjects.

[Bobby Kelly]

We need a couple more subjects.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So send those in. Yo,969. We didn't check, so I don't know if people called and hung up or what, but. No, just say yes no matter what, Lou. So it sounds. People are listening, you know, There you go. I got enough people hung up. So we didn't look at the phones for a while, but the phone lines are empty. He goes, no, no, they just stopped calling.

[Bobby Kelly]

They stopped calling. 866-969-1969. One word or two word topics, very simple and easy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but make them good. Make them good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Think about it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this is our way. We really should throw things like this. I feel bad. We stop making these caller topics because we tell them the call and then we don't take the call. I just look at the answer and give them their. Their name credit. So maybe we should do this on socials more often.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, we could take the call too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Jacob's such a freaking out if we take calls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Does he?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he thinks they go too long or we don't say enough stuff or

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know, we're too funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one's connections are ever good.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just turned my mic down. With your hat. Why don't we take one? Take one. That's good. God damn it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But we'll take some. But I need to hear what's up. The story. Because Christine had told me that there was a story that happened. Pizza Place Show, Pizza Party Bobby show. That was like something we had to get into.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I mean, you know, I do this. It's the Verve. It's a French restaurant. Once a month, Danny Braff does a show there. But it's, you know, it's in the basement. It's a 50 seater. It's nothing. It's a. I go, but I do it for the pizza. I go to the pizza place. It's the best pizza I've ever had. The owner comes out, you have to place your order for this pizza before you get there. They sell out by five o' clock every day. So you can't just go there and get a pizza after 5 o'. Clock. And if you do go there and you place an order live, you have to wait like an hour or two to get your pizza. But we show up. Seven o', clock, pizza done, ready to go. We show up. We got three pies, we got Meatballs. Christine shows up. My friend Mo shows up. It was unbelievable.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Forget about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

How good was the pizza?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Forget about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

So good. It was so good. The energy was popping. It was great.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Lindsay was there. Lind about Lindsay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Lindsay looked fantastic, by the way. My type of girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

85% tit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. 85% titan, 50% pizza.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lindsay's entirely pizza.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then we. We drive over the show. We get in. The show starts. Very small room. But the two. The things that suck about this room that I forgot is that it's long. So you only have one table in front of you, a four top that you can literally reach out and touch. And then behind them is a wall, but the whole wall is mirrors. So as soon as you get up there, I start doing my first little bitty and I, you know, I'm looking at myself do my act.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the worst. The whole time you're. I'm looking like, ugh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you ever catch. I thought that was always a flaw. In the original cellar. Is that right above that first booth to the. When you walk in the first booth to the right, there's a mirror.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a mirror.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And if you stand close enough to the thing, you are staring. As I said when I was. When I said I was getting frustrated with just being a seller all the time, after years and years of doing it, I was like, not on the road at all. And I was like, if I have to look at myself in that same mirror, you know, I mean, it's like t. The same jokes again, just all that kind of stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

I usually stand to the left and I. I've. I've taught my avoid that mirror. I've taught myself to avoid that mirror over the years. But this, the whole thing is a mirror. Like, it's a mirror that you'd have in your room, your bedroom, to see if you look.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're doing comedy and Game of Death. It looks like you're looking for the right Bruce Le. All the mirrors.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. The whole. All the walls. A mirror behind you is mirrors.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's terrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I'm looking at myself doing my

[Big Jay Oakerson]

bit a thousand times. Like a thousand different directions.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sucks so bad. Looking in your own eyes while you do your bit is. Is just. It's unthinkable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm ashamed of everything I say. I can't look at myself. I have to keep my head. I would keep my head down and I'd be like, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm saying this.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then I'm doing it and I'm learning. I'm adjusting my eyes so I'm doing my bits to the left so I don't have to see myself. So then I'm sitting there doing my thing and everything's going great. I'm. I'm in a bit. And, you know, you're working up to get to the main punchline. The main. The main bit. The main.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The babadoots. The.

[Bobby Kelly]

The pop. The pop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The spinks.

[Bobby Kelly]

The stab of the bit. You know what I'm saying?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just the guide and see the Hoppachops fungil. I literally. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. The marshmallows. The. The. The. The. That part of the bit where I would go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hot chocolate.

[Bobby Kelly]

That. Whatever. The bit wasn't that bit, but that part of the bit where you go. You ever talk, baby? It's a physical bit. I'm putting my hands up. The waiter walks in front of me, stands directly in front of me and delivers a bit of fucking big, huge bowl of truffle Mac and cheese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And some other dish and just stands there and ruins, like. Ruins the bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like marshmallows, particularly.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not that one. No. I was going to do that at the end. It was another bit. I forget what bit it was.

[Comedic Sidekick]

I forget what it was, but it was. You were. You were at the end of it, and this guy just comes in. It's like. It's level, you know, so. And the waiter's tall. He's like, tall. And he has a ponytail. And it was just.

[Bobby Kelly]

He had.

[Comedic Sidekick]

There was like, no awareness that a show was even happening. Like, he couldn't. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Like, he was just.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Wild.

[Bobby Kelly]

Didn't even exist to this stood Jay. I could put my hands on his shoulders. You understand? That's how small this room is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want you to think back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

For a second. Is there any chance this guy was blown on Don's neck in the back of that concert? You think he's a related guy?

[Bobby Kelly]

Similar guy, but not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He sent somebody after you, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

It. It was so bad. And I. I immediately. I go, you fuck. You walked in front of me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was he a cunt about it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I was. I was fucking with him, but in a funny way. But I was making fun of him. I was like, you and your fucking stupid ponytail. Yeah, asshole. You don't walk in front of a comic at my punchline. Took me five minutes to get to that point. And then you stepped in front of me with the big bowl of Mac and cheese. And then the lady got the Mac and cheese that was eating it. She was like an old Puerto Rican one with big tits. She was eating the Mac and cheese like a fucking a five year old with a bowl of cereal on Saturday. She was just head down, ha ha.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just shoved in her mouth. Binka, binky, binky, binky, scump. A dump, a boop, a beep, a boop bop.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a French red shot. Oh, sorry, it's French.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was duck pizza, pizza poopy puppy pizza, pizza pie.

[Bobby Kelly]

So then now he got mad. Apparently. I know this after show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was funny. I thought this. I thought the thing happened at the pizza place.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, this happened at the gig.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The gig.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is at the gig, bro. I would have no problem. So now every joke, he's walking in front of me, just walking straight in front of me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's being like purposeful now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Purposeful. And then he's going back to the table to clean the table.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, fuck, dude. This ended with you kicking him across the face off from stage, didn't you?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I'm trash.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't want to hear you more

[Bobby Kelly]

than I'm trashing him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing you could do then lives up to what you should have done.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm trashing him. And then the other waiters walking by, and as they walk by, I was like, high five. And they're just high five of me. That's how fucking ridiculous this got. And then another guy came out. What he come out with?

[Comedic Sidekick]

He came out. It was the same table as a truffle. Mac ordered desserts. And the guy that dropped off those desserts was like the angriest waiter you've ever encountered.

[Bobby Kelly]

The angriest waiter I've ever seen. Walked out with two desserts and just walked out. And as he's walking, he's just bumming everybody out to the table and hands them the desserts in front of me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why are. Why is the club. It's a real question more informed that like you're doing a pretty big favor to come and do this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why are they not informed of like, to really like this seems like the first time that happened, like somebody, whoever's in charge or has that show running there and they have you coming to do a favor like that would be like, hey, fucking let's not fuck this up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the problem with that. The guy in charge is Danny Braff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I guess after the show we went out. Christine, me, Lindsey, we all smoking cigars and stuff in the back and all of a sudden we hear some. I heard some yelling or something in the kitchen. Danny comes out. I guess the waiter dressed him down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Liberty Mutual Representative]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he's like, that fucking. Is that the headliner? He peeked out and saw me. Is that the headliner? He's a fucking asshole. Fucking. He said this and that, blah, blah. And Dan, I go, danny, you stuck up for me, right? Did you tell him to go fuck himself? He goes, no, I just took it. I go, why would you not say something to him? He goes, I don't like confrontation. I can't deal with confrontation. I go, go get him. Bring him out here. Bring him out here. Have him talk to me. He's like, please don't. I don't want this. Please don't do this. I was like, fuck. Fuck me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, what am I gonna do? He was so worried about losing his gig or being I'm there once a year to get for pizza. And I guess he was worried about having a thing with this guy and the owner and shit like that. But that. That's crazy.

[Comedic Sidekick]

I said that they should have something. It's like, I understand it's not a comedy club. I understand they don't do it once in a while, but it's like, there should be some sort of, like, hey, guys, there's a show going on. Like, could you, you know, lower your voices? Duck down anything? Like a little bit of extra training for the night.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the fact that we walk in front of a live performer while he was talking.

[Comedic Sidekick]

But he walked in front of you, you just stood there. And then as you're talking to him, at first, he didn't, like, realize you were even talking to him. He was so oblivious.

[Bobby Kelly]

He ignored me as I was talking to him about standing in front of me, was not acknowledging me, not even like, oh, shit, sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then was very, very purposefully doing it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I know he's purpose doing because as he was walking by, I go. I literally went, you're doing it on a purpose now, huh? And he went, really? He gave me that little. Yeah, those smug faces.

[Comedic Sidekick]

I was. I was like, bobby loves that pizza, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was like, I can't believe he's dealing with this. I'm back there in six months. I'll be there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Said it was crazy. That is pretty crazy. I didn't even know what I thought she was again. I thought it was something at the pizza place went like, haywire.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Yeah, they were great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Listen, the pizza place, that guy was amazing. That guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm saying, so that when she said it was crazy, like, I'm, like, realizing how crazy that is. Like, you. That's nuts. That a place wouldn't be like, I mean, I've done that. You've done things like that too. When you do, like, kind of like a favor spot somewhere or something like that, they're always like, like, we'll do this. We'll make sure. If something like that happened, they'd be like, what are you doing?

[Bobby Kelly]

Here's the problem. The owner was. When I showed up, the owner was in. He has, like, a cigar tent outside. And I walked in, he's like, oh, thank you so much for doing. I can't believe you did this. You're coming back here. He goes. He gave me two Davidoff cigars, were very expensive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dove Davidoffs.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's. No, it's his uncle. His great uncle. The Davidoffs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he climbed David off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, the original David off. He gave me cigar. He treated me like. Like gold. But he wasn't there. But I just don't understand why I

[Big Jay Oakerson]

say that he wasn't there asking you to do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

They were at that table right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got it. You're saying he wasn't there, but, I mean, like, I feel like you could have definitely Danny should have said something for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Danny's just absolutely for sure. I watched. That's the second time I watched Danny get dressed down before. So funny. From Vinnie Brand. He was in the back of the room. Danny was either working with me or I gave him guest spots or something. But he may have been hosting for a weekend or something I had there or I let him do a guest spot. But Vinnie was. No, because this was. Vinnie was hosting is what it was. So, yeah, the show I think Danny hosted when Vinnie wasn't there, maybe. And then Vinnie came in, he did host. And then when he was on stage, I guess Danny was at the bar of the comedy. You know, the stress factory.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Talking to another comedian or something. But I mean like in the back of the bar or whatever and Vinnie just under the light where Vinnie saw them two talking and not paying attention to. And Vinnie went and chewed him out outside. And they didn't know I went up on the fire escape to smoke cigarettes. And so I was up there. They don't know. They didn't know I was up there. And I just sit there and watched Vinnie bring Danny outside and be like. It was basically. It's like when the master's on the stage. As a young comic, you should respect the craft and watch and learn involved. It was so great. It was so great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he can'. He can't. He has no confrontation skills. And the problem with me, if this was. If this was six years ago, I would have told. I would have told him to off. I would have told the club to off. I would have just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's the interesting.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would have blown up at everybody and be like, dude, you, you should know better. I would have done that. I'm just. I'm trying not to be that guy anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, what Danny should develop as a spine.

[Bobby Kelly]

No bones.

[Caller/Listener]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No confidence. No. I'm none of those things either. I'm non confrontational in every possible way. Like be the bringer of the confrontation.

[Bobby Kelly]

But when it's time to go, when

[Big Jay Oakerson]

it's brought to me these ways, I'm saying before, if, like, if Vinnie was like. Because I come outside and started like just chewing me out for talking thing, I'd be like, excuse me, dude.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Well, didn't you almost fist fight Vinnie early in your career?

[Bobby Kelly]

I almost fought Vinnie one night too, very early.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was open mic night.

[Bobby Kelly]

I almost fought fist fought Vinnie on my headlining weekend to the point where he was like, you can just go home then, forget it. And I was like, I was like, I don't really want to go home. That's a lot of money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because I just wanted to fight you. I just want to fight you a little bit. Yeah, me and Vinny got into way. I mean, I was way young in comedy. I've been great with Vinnie for years and years and years, which is nice. I mean, like, it's better to have the thing than not, you know? But, like, sure. I know a million people who think so. And. And with good reasons, I'm sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

We got callers. Oh, yeah, we got topics.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We do have some topics.

[Producer/Announcer]

We need these.

[Comedic Sidekick]

What is.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, go to one of the

[Comedic Sidekick]

callers, Jay John in Tacoma.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But they're just gonna get on the phone and say a word.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fine. Let's give him a little air time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because you throw it. Throw it to some callers.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't see it from here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, let's try John John and Tacoma John from Tacoma.

[Bobby Kelly]

John, welcome to the bonfire. What's up, buddy? What do you got for us?

[Caller/Listener]

Bloodletting.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry? I'm pretty sure you. You said bloodletting.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's what I said.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, great. Thank you, John. Maybe Jacob was right. Let's try one more. Sure, let's try one. Jay, who do we got?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's just a real question, and we can get into that for a second. Afroman is pretty great. The Evan in Houston.

[Caller/Listener]

Cracker, crackle boys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Evan, what do you got for us?

[Caller/Listener]

All right, so I lost my legs in war a couple years ago, and sometimes I roll in to take a piss, and some dude is in the handicap stall, and he comes out and he has to look at me with the worst look on his face ever because I've been sitting there waiting to take a leak. Handicap stalls. All right, well, never have to take one because it's the only one open. But then you come out and there's an actual handicapped person waiting, waiting for it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would start acting mega retarded.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I would just. I would start limping. I would knock on the wall and knock on my leg at the same time.

[Caller/Listener]

Secret, though, to share the reason I called today because I have a question for Mr. Magic. I've been trying to get a hold of all you boys for a while to have them identify a baseline for me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I'll try.

[Caller/Listener]

All right. All right, thank you, dj. I think you were going through the struggles at the time, but there's a song you played when we were talking about Bobby's bag addiction, like, a year ago. It's played in British. British gang songs, like Guy Ritchie movies. Kind of thing that goes,

[Bobby Kelly]

Papa's got a brand new bag.

[Caller/Listener]

Not Papa's got a brand new bag. I tried to Shazam the out of this. There's a whole reel on Instagram.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I share it? Sure. Can I hear it one more time?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah. You got it. Let me add the clicks and the pops, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. I got it. I know what it is. I got it. It's. It's from the Reservoir Dog soundtrack. Yep. Little green. Little green bag, dude. Little green bag.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Play it. See if he's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was good. The second one was better.

[Caller/Listener]

Thank you, Bobby. I appreciate that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, man, thank you for. Did you lose your legs serving in the military?

[Caller/Listener]

I was a Marine. I got blown up by an ID on my second deployment. It's no big deal. Part of the job.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, buddy. It's a big deal. God bless you.

[Caller/Listener]

Thanks, Mr. Magic wins again. Magic. Thank you so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you think we call magic for nothing?

[Caller/Listener]

No, I know why we call magic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have a question.

[Caller/Listener]

I sent you guys an Instagram video.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was gonna say, Evan, is this you? Is this you who, like, you played it on a bass?

[Caller/Listener]

I played it, yes. I played it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I remember your video of you doing this.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah. I remember talking about, like, Darth Mall show and stuff like that. Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's wild. Yeah, well, yeah, that's so satisfying.

[Caller/Listener]

Like, boys, like. Like, can you imagine? I've been looking for the name of this song for, like, three years.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know what that means.

[Caller/Listener]

That.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That means a lot to people.

[Caller/Listener]

Doesn't even know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have.

[Caller/Listener]

You just. You just beat Shazam, bro?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I did. He's the best. Hey, dude, do you have the. Do you have, like, the prosthetic cool legs, or do you have, like, the ones that just look like legs?

[Caller/Listener]

I had all the cool shit, but it turns out, just because of my injuries, it's just easier for me to get around in the wheelchair. So, like, I do all the shit I've raced in triathlons and all that stuff. I just get around a lot better in wheelchairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow. All right. Cool, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was so intense. That was a very intense phone call. No, that's. Don't be apologized at all. That was great, by the way. I know that feeling. I could tell you the name of the song still that it took me, like, years to find that. I found it used to play. It used to play in the. Not the green room, the lobby of Caroline's all the time, back when it Was the managers like Kenny and Johnny Walker. Johnnie Walker used to make all of the playlists. And it was all this where I found like such great heights by the postal Service. He played a lot of like interesting indie rock.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Here's my GM at comics. He left Carolina.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right. Johnny Walker. That's right. But he made these good playlists on CDs he would make and they would play all the time. The thing. And the other one was a song I just couldn't. I found other songs that sounded like it that I would get into just. Cause it was similar chord progression, I could. And then in South Africa, of all places, in a bar, I heard it playing and I was like, what is the song? They went. It was almost over too. And they looked it up. Whispering Wind by Moby. That's the. Took me years to find that. And then. So now as all that build up, there's no way you could play the song and have it be satisfying to anybody. You tell that to. They're gonna be like, this song. You're like, yeah, I know, it was great.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you have to wait till the. The lyrics come in. It's Moby.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many people have you been in your life?

[Comedic Sidekick]

I mean, put on the south side, I'll listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many versions of Jay has. Has there been over the years?

[Comedic Sidekick]

Oh, there's like 18 people in there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I never had a Moby phase. I just like this song you do inside and you want to hear something weird? Before I found the song, I would listen to the song let me love you by Mario. It's the same chord progression

[Bobby Kelly]

so bad. This guy called up and I go, you. You got your legs blown off. He's like, yeah, no big deal though. Whatever. I just got blown up by Heidi. And then I. I'm complaining about plantar fasciitis at a Steven Wilson Jr. Concert last night. I couldn't make it through a whole concert. What a hunk of shit of a fucking.

[Comedic Sidekick]

You gotta work on your plantar fasciisis and keep fucking I standing on your two feet.

[Bobby Kelly]

I couldn't stand for two hours last night. This guy's leg's blown off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could there have been a worse phone call before we found out Danny Braff's non confrontational. Danny Braff doesn't want to get into a conversation with this. With this server over his dumb behavior. This guy got his legs blown off in war. He's doing all right with it. Ran some triathlons. Do you hear the chord progression, Lou you hear what I'm saying?

[Bobby Kelly]

I do. Mario sounds better though. This one sounds way better.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I just don't know if I was your man. Never worry about Jay is just a gay man. I'll become it. Gay. Why don't you look over there? Black Lou doing you right. You're the girls.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's that?

[Comedic Sidekick]

That's how they got all the girls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Handful of rings and word. I just know that you are. You should let me love you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jeez, that wig is still in you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You won't. And need. Oh, inward good. Love and affection.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at you. Your show, you're so into it. Tell them to cut it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, this is all I had. Oh,

[Bobby Kelly]

You still got it, man. You still got it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We do have a slight. There are updates.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you got?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Afroman thing. The Afroman trauma. We watched the Lick them low Lisa. Yeah, and all that. And lemon pound cake. Lemon pound cake. Lemon. He won. He completely won a court.

[Bobby Kelly]

He won them all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He won everything. Yeah, he got. He didn't have to pay any money to them all the thing. And she had to sit there and listen to like. She had to sit there and listen to like. To the laughing and stuff and the guy. The complaints on a. To be on a. The fact you would go to court and have to sit there and go like. And then I walk in and everybody sends lemon pound cakes now to the station. Everyone calls me pound cake. It's like, dude, shut the up. Like, shut up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why are we not sending 11 pound cake to that. That police.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Adams County Sheriff's department.

[Bobby Kelly]

Adams county sheriff.

[Comedic Sidekick]

They're just trying to make some fucking money and they didn't get any.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have to send a lemon pound cake there. Oh yeah, what was her name? Lick them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lick them. Louisa.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Some lesbian porn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we send lickum Louisa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's send some literature on how to squirt. Yeah, and then we'll. And a lemon pound cake.

[Bobby Kelly]

We should send a dildo, some literature and a lemon pound cake to the station.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Well, then there was the one copper is like, can you be certain that Afroman didn't sleep with your wife?

[Bobby Kelly]

And he was like, no. What does it say about your wife if you can't be certain about that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe she fucked Afro man.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But her having to sit there and cry on the stand while he's playing it. And she's just bawling. And he's like, look him lowly. She'll suck your wife's. And the jury's just like, yeah, look him low, Lisa. I didn't give A can I hear that again?

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to hear Lick him. Lolisa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I watched recently, it was talking about this and someone just goes. They described him. He goes, man, Afroman's lazy as what I just watched where someone describe Afroman as lazy. It's really funny because this guy makes the laziest songs ever.

[Comedic Sidekick]

His number one song is the laziest song of all time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, Is it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Every song is the same song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's this whole thing again. Let's never forget, Afroman's also the guy who just decked a girl for coming on stage. Do you remember that? Yeah, we just punched her in the next universe. Bring up that video of Afroman punching the chick out. That's so crazy,

[Bobby Kelly]

this girl. And then the problem with this is now that this is going to be a million times worse for her and the other guy, but especially because now

[Big Jay Oakerson]

they lost a lot. You tried to sue him for making fun of you, by the way. I never heard. I never heard of this song that. I remember briefly that he got raided and he was making a stink about it because he was like, they're rating me for nothing.

[Bobby Kelly]

But it would have never been this

[Big Jay Oakerson]

big if you didn't go to trial and then lose it. Now I'm very aware of this and I think it's hilarious.

[Bobby Kelly]

And especially crying. Crying on the stand is terrible.

[Comedic Sidekick]

This is crazy. I've actually never seen this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nuh.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've never seen this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's insane.

[Comedic Sidekick]

It's pretty wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's shredding. It's shred o'. Clock. And no one told this girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, he punched her.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, it might have been licking Lolita. You never know. Lisa, look at the Lisa. You never know. Look at this girl. What an idiot.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Oh, I mean, she's an idiot, but that's a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

He got it right. I mean, he got it right in the chin too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes back to play.

[Bobby Kelly]

She just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's like, all right. That was a weird way to handle things.

[Bobby Kelly]

She had to pull her yoga pants up. That's her boyfriend, too. A boyfriend had to take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's only 40 there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. Do you see her boyfriend? Yeah, that sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And for treatment, to help with anxiety, he's apologizing, said he'll check himself in for treatment for anxiety.

[Bobby Kelly]

Her boyfriend gets on stage and is,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

in fairness, don't get drunk and jump up on stage and start doing that.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I mean, not during his solo.

[Comedic Sidekick]

She come up from it looks like

[Bobby Kelly]

she was well, she came up from the side. Yeah, she went from the side. And then she shuffled away over with her drink. Oh, yeah, look, she's holding a drink.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Look, it's so bright outside. Where is this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this is like some kind of a daytime thing. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Watch your boyfriend come up, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He gives him a look. He goes, chill, man. It's like, it's too late, dude. I re decked your chick. But by the way, no one's stopping anyone from getting on stage.

[Bobby Kelly]

He comes up, he's drunk as too. He's like hanging out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he went. He said. That guy went, what's up, dude? What's up? He was gonna give him a little taste.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also. We gotta. We gotta break.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll break our penises.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, well.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, tomorrow's gonna be a big day, but no one's gonna get to know about it.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Somebody sent a new Dewandra performance from live performance.

[Producer/Announcer]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, okay, so we have that too. Yeah.

[Comedic Sidekick]

And also, I'm not sure if you guys saw this, but look at this cover photo on Facebook.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

As heard repeatedly and unpaid on Bonfire. Trust the Science

[Bobby Kelly]

Mullins. Facebook.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fantastic. Good for him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good. Good for him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Change your mind to marshmallows and hot Choppalopolis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hot chop. Well, don't worry, David. If you want to. If you want to steal our content on podcast and post my. What's going to be one of my first sets, we're going to be Thursday on the bonfire. You'll hear me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got. I got answers from people. You ready? I got. Oh, sorry. Keith has a doctor's appointment. He can't make it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He always has.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dr. Dan Soda. Yes, 2:00pm okay, he'll be here tomorrow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lovely.

[Bobby Kelly]

We got Mike Fenoya. Dan Soda. All right, I'll get Ari.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll try to get Ari.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, everybody, we'll catch you tomorrow. Until next time. Crackle, crackle, y'.

[Caller/Listener]

All.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lou, cut that music.

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Comedic Sidekick]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Liberty Mutual Representative]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Producer/Announcer]

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