Orange Peels

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Orange Peels" | The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Episode Details

• Podcast: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
• Episode Title: Orange Peels
• Release Date: April 30, 2025
• Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk Channel, Channel 103

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1. Opening Remarks and Music Discussions [00:31 - 05:00]

The episode kicks off with Big Jay Oakerson reminiscing about music, particularly focusing on a contemporary song that reminds him of Jim Morrison. At [00:31], Jay humorously credits New York City's energy for the creation of Vitamin Water, linking it to the city's vibrant lifestyle. By [02:00], the conversation shifts to the song "Firewoman" by The Cold, where Jay and Robert Kelly draw parallels between the song's vibe and Jim Morrison's iconic style. They discuss the performer's resemblance to Morrison, highlighting aspects like his hair and stage presence.

Notable Quote:

• Big J [02:16]: "Look at him. Dude, he knew how to work that dance. Dude, turn it up."

2. Fashion and Personal Style: Leather Pants and Hairstyles [05:00 - 17:00]

The hosts delve into a lighthearted debate about fashion choices, particularly leather pants. At [05:32], Robert Kelly expresses his desire for leather pants that accommodate his physique, while Jay shares his apprehensions about comfort and practicality. The discussion evolves into a broader conversation about hairstyles, with both hosts contemplating adopting longer hair styles reminiscent of rock icons like Jim Morrison.

Notable Quote:

• Robert Kelly [06:00]: "You don't want to have tiny little legs with this weird upper body."

Jay and Robert also touch upon the challenges of maintaining certain looks, emphasizing the balance between style and self-comfort. By [10:03], they consider various celebrity hairstyles, discussing feasibility and personal preference.

3. Wrestling Commentary: WrestleMania Highlights and Critiques [17:00 - 43:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to wrestling, specifically WrestleMania events. At [28:44], Big J and Robert Kelly analyze recent matches, expressing mixed feelings about the outcomes and performances. They critique the involvement of celebrity guests like Travis Scott, questioning the impact on the event's authenticity and excitement.

Notable Quote:

• Big J [29:10]: "They wrestled gay sex. No, it's wrestling, but it's thinly veiled gay sex."

The hosts dissect storylines, character turns, and match outcomes, highlighting what they perceive as missed opportunities, such as the absence of iconic wrestlers like The Rock. By [35:10], the conversation reflects on the dynamics between wrestlers and promoters, emphasizing the importance of charismatic frontmen in the industry.

Notable Quote:

• Robert Kelly [19:25]: "But Sebastian Bach, currently, when he goes out and tours Sebastian Bach, he is the least talented person on stage right now."

4. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Banter [43:00 - 62:00]

The episode continues with personal stories and banter among the hosts. At [43:02], Big J shares an experience attending a wrestling event with their friend Dan, discussing the complexities of engaging fully in such events without feeling judged. The conversation takes a humorous turn as they reminisce about past interactions and speculate on hypothetical scenarios involving their friends and ex-partners.

Notable Quote:

• Robert Kelly [49:58]: "So angry."

They also touch upon topics like past relationships, personal grooming, and the challenges of maintaining certain lifestyles. The banter remains lighthearted, with both hosts playfully teasing each other and their guests.

Notable Quote:

• Big J [54:30]: "Christine's been out to dinner, not on her dime, three times in her life, but she has fucked hundreds."

5. Final Thoughts on WrestleMania and Closing Remarks [62:00 - End]

In the concluding segments, Big J and Robert Kelly revisit their WrestleMania discussions, summarizing their opinions on recent matches and event organization. They express disappointment over certain outcomes and the lack of fan-favorite appearances, reiterating their preference for traditional wrestling elements over celebrity-centric additions.

Notable Quote:

• Big J [57:15]: "You're selling the Travis Scott. It's crazy."

The episode wraps up with reflections on the evolving nature of wrestling entertainment, emphasizing the balance between maintaining authenticity and embracing modern entertainment trends.

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Conclusion

"Orange Peels" offers a blend of music nostalgia, fashion debates, and in-depth wrestling commentary, all delivered with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly's signature blunt humor and candidness. The episode provides listeners with a humorous yet critical perspective on contemporary trends in music and wrestling, enriched by personal anecdotes and engaging banter.

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Note: The transcript provided contains explicit language and sensitive topics. This summary abstracts and paraphrases the content to maintain a respectful and informative overview.

Transcript

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[Big J]

Vitamin Water was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more like more flavor to go with all the flavor. A refreshing drink after climbing six flights of stairs to a walk up apartment or standing in the subway station in 100 degree heat.

[Whole Foods Market Ad]

Focus.

[Big J]

When I have an 8 hour shift. And XXX after I was out all night at a club called xxx, drink Vitamin Water. It's from New York. And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Robert Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big J]

By woman, you're to blame. By woman you're to blame. By woman you're to blame. By woman you're to blame. Wait. Come on. Fire.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J]

Bachelor talk. Sirius XM103. We can start the show every day with that new theme song. That might be our new theme song.

[Robert Kelly]

So many. How many people were in the car right now just screaming that song?

[Big J]

Oh, they were enjoying it so much. How do you not like Firewoman by the cold.

[Robert Kelly]

Ah. Using their little air freshener as a symbol.

[Big J]

No one knows those words. Like a thumbing on a flip flap. Something.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, it's got every cool rock thing ever in a song.

[Big J]

And a guy, he just acts and sings like Jim Morrison. It's perfect.

[Robert Kelly]

Unbelievable. I mean, come on.

[Big J]

And he became Jim Morrison. Yeah. Doors fan now also.

[Christine]

I was never a Doors fan.

[Big J]

Okay. I'm having a flash.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay.

[Big J]

I'm having a flash. They meant so much to me. The Doors meant so much to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody's everybody.

[Big J]

Oh my God. Do you know like the Doors too? Bobby, don't break my heart.

[Robert Kelly]

I love the Doors.

[Big J]

Look at. Dude, he knew how to work that dance. Dude, turn it up.

[Robert Kelly]

He has a silky Dracula hair. His hair is the.

[Big J]

Would you get him drunk? Well, he get one where he's good. Yeah, he has some problems. For sure.

[Robert Kelly]

He has some problems. Yeah.

[Jay]

Amazed.

[Big J]

I thought he's nervous. It's also not his audience.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's a little fat. A little heavier there.

[Christine]

He's fat.

[Big J]

Go to the video. The video is the coolest looking thing. Get your mind. Go to the video. The video is the coolest. Dude, he's so Jim Morrison. Damn. This song was everything to me when it came out, I didn't know she. I went backwards to me, this was the one. This caught me on mtv. MTV did his job.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, so good. His hair, everything. A little creepy, a little dark.

[Big J]

But then doing that whole, like, Native American Jim Morrison thing. And his voice sounds very. Look, he became the singer of the Doors 2000. They did it. I can't believe they had like an audition process for that with that album. Remember?

[Lou]

Right. On VH1, they had a bunch of different singers. Scott Violin.

[Big J]

Right. And then they decided to keep him as the guy. I'm like. That seemed like they should have been the choice from the Guy Wants to Be Jim Morris.

[Lou]

And then he went on tour with them and I saw them.

[Big J]

How was it? It was pretty damn good for what it's gonna be. Right?

[Lou]

Yeah. Max Weinberg was on drums because Densmore was. Did not want to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Now is. Is that what happened to this band that. That broke him up or they just.

[Big J]

No, no, They've constant problem. They hate him. I think he's a consummate problem. The lead singer. I think he's in one of them. Impossible to Ian Astbury. Right. Yeah. Like, I watch all those, like, short little rock documentaries and it's like, there's plenty of like, Jesus. He go to Rock and Roll. True Stories and just type in the cult. You know, just be like the cult up. Terrible performance. Fights a fan, sues a fan.

[Lou]

No one's ever had a good word to say about it.

[Big J]

Yeah, but look at those Morrison moves.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that. I love that the whole album is at Alan's Boots.

[Big J]

I was this close to go. I didn't go over to look. I was only this close to looking because I can't. I'm not gonna describe it, but Alan's boots has the. Just over the pants.

[Robert Kelly]

Leathers.

[Big J]

No, like the Jim Morrison cult style belt. Oh, that just. It's not through loops.

[Robert Kelly]

It's just a. It's a accoutrement.

[Big J]

It's accoutrement to hang like just above your ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

And I. I didn't though.

[Robert Kelly]

You'd have to get a regular belt and then have a accoutrement belt.

[Big J]

Accoutrement belt over. I need an actual belt. For sure.

[Robert Kelly]

You can do that. I have seen people.

[Big J]

And over the pants belt. Dude. I almost. I thought about it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You should get an accoutrement belt. You'd be looking at a big over.

[Jay]

The pants belt phase.

[Robert Kelly]

I do want leather pants, though. But I don't have an ass either.

[Big J]

I'm so worried about how my dick and balls will feel in leather pants.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it would be so cool to get leather pants that fit like you. They'd have to fit your legs kind of go down straight.

[Big J]

You know, me and you were not built for leather pants because we both have the same issue. No matter what happens, no matter how much we get it together.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't say it.

[Big J]

We're gonna be. No, listen to me. No, we're always gonna be built like a meatball on toothpicks.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want to hear it.

[Big J]

So.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay. I don't want to hear it.

[Big J]

You don't want to have tiny little legs with this weird fucking upper body. But if it doesn't make sense, if.

[Robert Kelly]

They make the leather pants, the waistband like elastic.

[Big J]

Okay, now you're not talking about cool leather pants anymore. You're talking about leather sweats, which is a weird thing to have drawstring leather pants. I mean, look at Jim Morrison though, rocking those shits.

[Robert Kelly]

Do they have fat guy leather pants?

[Big J]

Christine? I wouldn't look good with an over the pants with. With an. Just a. Just a belt for accoutrement.

[Jay]

Here's what you do to wear belts. So that is a funny look.

[Robert Kelly]

We get leather pants, Jay. And we get the accoutrement belt. But then we get the shirt that tucks in, but hangs out a little bit. Like a little, Little. Little foofy. Yeah, so it hides our little foofy.

[Lou]

Would you settle for white jeans? No, because that's another thing.

[Robert Kelly]

No, because I'm a slob and I drink too much coffee like shit.

[Lou]

Leather pants are not doing you any favors either.

[Robert Kelly]

Black leather, fat dude pants, fat people in leather pants. It's got to be a fat guy that had leather pants.

[Big J]

I'll tell you what I hate, is that Jim Morrison all of his le again. It's one of those looks. And I'm sure you've had this with Eddie Vedder when you idolize a rock star the way I did Jim Morrison for so many years. He's got some really cool looking phases. Not necessarily great times of his career, but where he looked cool. But all the best performances are when brown leather pants and short hair was the shittiest look for him. But he rocked that a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

He rocked, but he still looked good. What's that now?

[Big J]

Jim Morrison with long hair, with no beard, young with long hair was the coolest looking thing.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want to look like a fat Star Wars.

[Big J]

I'm not sure. What you're doing. Are you putting Bobby in the.

[Christine]

He could not pull off the Jim Morrison look when he got fat.

[Big J]

Who?

[Christine]

He looked terrible. Fat, fat. Doing the Jim Morrison look when he was fat. Who?

[Lou]

Actual Jim Morrison.

[Big J]

Christine, go to long, long hair Morrison, 27. He died 27.

[Robert Kelly]

I could wear those.

[Christine]

Fat has no age.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I wear those?

[Lou]

He would have grown out of that.

[Big J]

They have in 5XL.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want 5XL.

[Big J]

It's probably what you need in that. The measuring for leather pants. Yeah, yeah. Long hair. Jim Morrison ruled.

[Lou]

I kind of like court case on trial. Jim.

[Big J]

Oh, I don't mind the beard, but. Right. Look at that right there. Were you singing where? No, you went right past it over right there. I mean, come on. What a good looking dude. His long hair ruled.

[Lou]

He was already a fall down drunk of a mess before I even became famous. Because when he was in college they have a lot of people telling drunk stories about Jim. So, like he didn't create that rock star idol thing. He was already a drunken mess.

[Big J]

No, he was a problem for sure.

[Lou]

Yeah. From the get go.

[Big J]

I think he was like a drug addict is what it was. But man, did I love Jim Morrison.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you grow your hair like that?

[Big J]

I would.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you?

[Big J]

It's gonna be so bad in between my scruff. The scruff times.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. In the middle when you look like a lesbian.

[Big J]

Every time I say I'm gonna do it, there's some haircuts I get where I'm like. I'm just gonna let it start going now. And then I go. I don't know, man.

[Jay]

You have the other awkward part less, but what, six months to a year at least.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but you could do it too. You gotta. You gotta golden handcuffs right now with this job. Don't worry about it. You don't got you. Whatever you lose in fans, you'll gain back when you get the hair back ten times. Fold. Yeah, you understand that?

[Big J]

Maybe try long hair one more shot.

[Robert Kelly]

You should do long hair one more shot, but fluff it up. Don't do the stringy rock thing you had going.

[Big J]

No, my long hair was beautiful.

[Robert Kelly]

But you should fluff it like his like.

[Big J]

Well, he has wavier hair than I have.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but you can wave yours. Get him curled. Let me get your fingernails done. Why don't you put some curlers in your hair?

[Big J]

I'm not going to get my hair curled, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

You'll do your eyebrows and your fingernails, but you won't curl your hair.

[Big J]

I don't have to curl. It starts curling at the bottom. My long hair at its longest was dope. Whether you like long hair or not is subjective, but the hair itself was well taken care of.

[Robert Kelly]

It was nice, but it was a little. A little. What's that word I'm looking for?

[Jay]

It also got towards the end.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it was greasy. What? It was. It was. Look it. It's thin. It's like. It's limp.

[Jay]

No, like here. It's great.

[Robert Kelly]

Where?

[Big J]

I mean. Yeah, when I did. It's Jimmy Fallon. It's not greasy at all.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not greasy, but it's flat. It's. What do they call that?

[Big J]

I like that. I like the hair to hang. If it's going to happen, I want.

[Robert Kelly]

I want it to be like Jim Morrison.

[Lou]

You don't know what it's going to be because that's a young man's head right there.

[Big J]

It's also. I have no idea what's going to. My hair will come in a whole different texture now, possibly.

[Lou]

And all the product you've been using, you don't know what's going to happen. I say, try, though.

[Big J]

I don't even want. I don't even want hair that long anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

I love Lou. Lou always says something weird and then he goes, no, but do it. I love it. Why don't you compliment you right at the end so you don't get mad at me.

[Big J]

Hey, Jay, I don't even mean. I don't even mean hair that long.

[Robert Kelly]

You might have pube head. But you know what? Try it. I love it, man. We'll see what happens. I'm with you all the way.

[Lou]

Hair envy.

[Big J]

I don't think if I grow it long, I would grow it long for that again, like the down my shoulders.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you can't, because. Can I? I think that's why.

[Big J]

I think more like a Bradley Cooper long, where it's just combed like, you know, it's like wavy and longer, but like here long.

[Robert Kelly]

But let me ask you a question. You rejecting what I'm saying to you? I think if you go, let it go like Jim Morrison. Right. No, right there.

[Big J]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The one right there where he's got the. Yeah, yes.

[Robert Kelly]

And you fluff it up a little.

[Big J]

Bit, but that's fluffed.

[Jay]

You want me to tease his hair?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not teasing my hair. You know what I want? Here's the word. Volume. He has no volume in the top of his head. I'm thinking volumes at the bottom.

[Big J]

I'm thinking of Bradley Cooper in A Star Is Born.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, but not after a drunken stupor.

[Big J]

No, no, right here. When he's. When he's playing, when he's performing, when he's playing music and. No, that's good.

[Robert Kelly]

That's. No, that's. That's slimy, like that desperado look.

[Big J]

Desperado Banderas.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J]

I can't grow that kind of texture. Harry's a Mexican.

[Robert Kelly]

I want you to fluff it a little bit. Get a little texture into it. Little volume. You need volume?

[Big J]

Yeah, yeah, like.

[Robert Kelly]

Like that. Like volume.

[Big J]

Oh, I like that. That's how my old hair was.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Salma Hayek.

[Big J]

Oh, yeah. Okay, fair enough.

[Robert Kelly]

I think you should grow your hair, dude. I think. Right?

[Big J]

Number one, I do worry that you and DJ Lou are conspiring as bald people just to make me do something stupid with my hair.

[Lou]

Yeah, dude, you got a healthy scalp, Jay. Do something with it.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay. Lou, he's on to us. He's on to our bald meetings. Jacob just joined the club. He's a little premature, but he's coming.

[Big J]

Yeah, dude, get in on it. We'll see. We'll see.

[Robert Kelly]

Be funny if Christine just took her hair off. It was a wig. Jay, grow your hair.

[Big J]

We'll see. I did enjoy not putting, like, products in my hair, like, to style it and just products in my hair to smooth it.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, wouldn't it be great to be able to put a little scrunchie in and do have a different bunch of styles?

[Big J]

Yes. Well, I'd like to see. Right there is, like, good length for what we're talking about. But my face couldn't have been fatter.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, dude, you can't. It doesn't. Maybe that's what made your hair straight. Your fatness, your. Your weight actually stretched your hair.

[Big J]

My fat face pushed my hair out. Possible.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, dude, you've.

[Big J]

Yeah, my face looks kind of different from that, doesn't it?

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, you look so much. You look so much sexier than that.

[Big J]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

We were both fatties.

[Big J]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay]

Good shoulders.

[Christine]

If you are gonna do it, you should do it now because old guys with long hair does not. Is not a good look.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. I disagree.

[Christine]

Looks good.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J]

The dude from Sons of Anarchy, Kurt Sutter.

[Robert Kelly]

The dude that was in Roadhouse. What's his name?

[Big J]

Sam Elliott.

[Robert Kelly]

Sam Elliott looks fantastic.

[Christine]

Elliot.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Christine]

Can't compare him to a human being, any other human being.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? He has long hair and he's old.

[Big J]

Sam.

[Christine]

Elliot.

[Robert Kelly]

That guy's gorgeous. Jay, if you had that.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd suck your ass.

[Big J]

Absolutely.

[Christine]

I mean, Bruce Dickinson let his hair grow out. It looks terrible now.

[Big J]

Is it long?

[Christine]

Yes. Bruce Dickinson, 1985.

[Big J]

Yeah, but he had dumb. He had dumb hair. When he.

[Robert Kelly]

Go back to that guy right there. Look at that. That's what I'm talking. See how he has volume? I just want you to have volume.

[Big J]

That's too much volume, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that. Is that Charlie's Angel Crazy?

[Big J]

That's a crazy amount of volume that I will not ever put into my hair.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that Farah Fawcett volume?

[Big J]

That's.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the Bionic Woman volume.

[Big J]

That I will not put that volume in my hair. That is a gay amount of volume. I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it. Maybe I just want you to be. Oh, oh, right.

[Big J]

I'm thinking just like a little bit longer all around.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

Where I could do something with it. But yeah. I'd like to not be putting like product in my hair.

[Christine]

Bradley Cooper. Now you can pull off. That would look good.

[Robert Kelly]

You should do that. There you go, Jay. Do that.

[Big J]

There I am.

[Robert Kelly]

That's funny because that's what it might be because you're old. It might just be fuzzy.

[Big J]

Just hay. Just hay.

[Christine]

Hair pull up. Bruce Dickinson now. It's just.

[Big J]

Please, I want to see you.

[Christine]

I don't get it.

[Jay]

Who is Bruce Dickinson?

[Big J]

Lead singer of Iron Maiden. I should. Christine, self report your face to the glass after this.

[Robert Kelly]

Self report. Jay, you should know what you should do too. I was thinking about Bradley Cooper.

[Big J]

My hair.

[Robert Kelly]

You should do that. But you know what else you should do?

[Big J]

Leave Christine for Lady Gaga.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you should not do that.

[Jay]

You wish.

[Robert Kelly]

Even though they're from. She's in Jersey. She lives in Jersey.

[Big J]

Gaga.

[Robert Kelly]

She does live in Gaga.

[Big J]

Maybe we'll cross paths. I'll stalk her like you do the Ryans.

[Robert Kelly]

Uh huh. Let me ask you a question. Grow your mustache out. Grow your beard out. And then get a little twist on your mustaches. Why?

[Big J]

I'm not twisting my mustache.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? You can get mustache wax.

[Big J]

I will not.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Why?

[Big J]

I don't. Not putting mustache wax.

[Robert Kelly]

Why?

[Big J]

I don't know. It looks we. I never like that look on anybody. Twisty mustache, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

You look like you look like a. Like an old time vaudeville guy.

[Big J]

I keep a beard, a reasonable beard that I have. And just grow the hair. Bradley Cooper long.

[Robert Kelly]

Fine. Maybe I'll do it.

[Big J]

Do it.

[Robert Kelly]

I will. I'm gonna do it.

[Big J]

You should.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna do it.

[Big J]

And you start dying it Hollywood Hulk Hogan style.

[Christine]

Well, who does your beard? Again, the guy.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a new guy.

[Big J]

You don't. Don't.

[Christine]

Oh, you don't.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't bring up Jacob.

[Christine]

Oh, really? Yeah, I forgot. It's over.

[Robert Kelly]

We don't bring. Well, it's not over. Nothing's over.

[Big J]

His name's Kenny. He's over at City Image.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, not as good.

[Big J]

He takes appointments though, which is pretty dope.

[Robert Kelly]

But he doesn't talk to you.

[Big J]

The way he doesn't touch me. The way I used to get touched.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, Black Lou's pissed.

[Big J]

Sorry, Black Lou. Sometimes you got to change barbers, bro. Black people never understand that. They'll die with their barber.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, they know too much.

[Big J]

They'll get prison visitations just to go get a haircut from the same guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Because they know too much.

[Big J]

Dude, they know too much.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like the mob. You can explain all your whole life to somebody new who your aunt is, what's going on.

[Big J]

So now he's grown his hair long.

[Christine]

I mean, lying is terrible.

[Big J]

And that's to piss off all the old people who can't grow their hair anymore. Oh, I think he's trying to be funny. He's not nailing it. Go up to the picture of him. It doesn't look good.

[Christine]

That's not a good. And that's even better than it really does look. Than it looks now. It's.

[Big J]

Well, he's got it pulled back there. No, that's not. Yeah, I. That's what I'm saying. I don't think the long coming down. I think my hair looked best when it was long. When it was long. Cuz the bottom I curled up. I thought it was cool and it looked good to me. What? I wanted this. Now you don't want to. You're so close to looking like a lesbo with certain hair and he's got no facial hair and that gray hair that kind of just goes nowhere once.

[Robert Kelly]

I see you so close to look like a lesbo. And then she brought that photo back up where you.

[Big J]

Oh, we're looking a lesbo. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, you look like you have a Suzuki truck and you save dogs every weekend.

[Big J]

But I. I rescue. I'm excited to see Iron Maiden again, though. They're so good live. That old son of a pilot. Yeah, no one likes him either. Another one everybody hates.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the lead singers, I mean, they're the front man. They're always going to have the biggest ego, right? And they. All they're showing up with is their fucking voice.

[Christine]

Well, Bruce Dickinson does the concert, then flies the band to the next. But he's their pilot.

[Robert Kelly]

How do you not have an ego?

[Big J]

How much does it.

[Robert Kelly]

How do you not have an ego when you're like, let's go. And you jump in the front seat of a 747.

[Christine]

And I think he was almost on the. He could have been on the Olympic. British Olympic fencing team also if he chose.

[Big J]

Why it. That must annoy the. Out of like high level musicians and bands. Who's. Where the problem of the thing is always the singer. Do you know what I mean? You're like, man, I went to. Whether it's school. Some of these guys are classically trained, some of them are self taught. But they really had to master a thing. And then you're like. And then the lead singer of Puddle of Mud is fucking up your chances of becoming multimillionaires because he can't fucking act like not a jerk. You know what I'm saying? Smash mouth the guys up. The band's still playing the music. I'm sure at high level they're doing everything they did so they promised they would do. Since the 90s and he's drunk, falling off stage. Gotta be died ultimately of like drinking and shit. Drink himself to death. But these guys are the pro. The guys with technically the least functional talent.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but it's also. It's the. It's the. It's the most prevalent talent because their voice is the sound. You can't. You had to go find a Filipino guy that sounded like Steve Perry. Correct you. It's. You can get somebody to play the guitar. You can get somebody to do the drums. Everything else.

[Big J]

I'm saying you're least recognized most. You're least recognized, most skilled and also subject to the personality of the most flamboyant face in your crew. Friends.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, because they know that they're. That they're out in the front. Everybody's loving them. Number one pretty much. Right. And you know, and your voice is the. The stamp of the whole band.

[Big J]

But Sebastian Bach, currently, when he goes out and tours Sebastian Bach, he is the least talented person on stage right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Now. Now.

[Big J]

But the least.

[Robert Kelly]

But when. When Skid Row was there. Oh my God. It was his voice and his hair and his front.

[Big J]

Yep. His.

[Robert Kelly]

He was.

[Big J]

And all the. All the town. All the guys who made the songs, wrote the notes and did the. No, no, I rolled my eyes with you. I understand. I'm just trying to put myself in the perspective of them. Like they wrote the notes and then he came in and put down the Word sang it and it becomes Sebastian Bach's song. That if you get rid of him and have another singer for Skid Row, which they did. No one really gives a shit.

[Robert Kelly]

No one gives a shit. That's why Prince was such an epic performer. He wrote, played, did everything Annie sang, really. Andy, I mean, he's like.

[Big J]

The guy was a modern day Taylor Swift, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Taylor Swift is garbage. But yes, I guess. Sorry.

[Big J]

Christine, she.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine just gave me an.

[Big J]

I think she used to write all of her own stuff. Well, she still does. She writes really shitty music. I'll tell you what. I'll never say I hate Taylor Swift, ever. And the only reason why is we will never, ever, ever get back together. Well, net. There's the only one. Yeah, listen. Blink 182's got one that I like. What one?

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Big J]

What's my age again? I like that song. That's it.

[Robert Kelly]

I like Blank 182. I like them.

[Big J]

You like teenage girls?

[Robert Kelly]

I do. I like. I like. I like bands that talk. Sing that angst, man.

[Big J]

We're going to the mall.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I like that. I've always liked that.

[Big J]

Borrowed my mom's car. She's pissed I'm late.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

My girlfriend's dad is gonna kill me. They have to sing these lyrics at 60 years old.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And I still relate to them because when I was a teenager I didn't have anybody.

[Big J]

Borrowed five bucks from my uncle.

[Robert Kelly]

I relate to all those words. Stole my mom's friend's car at her wedding Almost died on a cliff but went back and they were there mad at me.

[Big J]

We danced like jerk offs in a.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it, I like it, I like it. I don't know why.

[Big J]

And then we all drink stupid booze. They stink. I like that kind of music bites.

[Robert Kelly]

I love them too, Christine. Travis Barker is probably.

[Jay]

Mark and Tom have the best. I mean, they have great stage bands.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not going through that.

[Big J]

But listen, Christine thinks they're Zeppelin.

[Robert Kelly]

I never. I never said they're great. I don't know about their stage banter.

[Jay]

But you should see him live, Bobby. I think you'd really love it.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll go with you to see them. I'd love it. Yeah, listen, sure.

[Jay]

Jake can't come out, ruin it for me.

[Robert Kelly]

Hates me. She keeps getting stepfathers that beat me and leave me.

[Big J]

My mom's boyfriend is a dick.

[Robert Kelly]

He.

[Big J]

I steal from my mom's drawers.

[Robert Kelly]

Waiting.

[Big J]

I wear different colored socks so you think I don't give a shit. I wear sweaters in California.

[Jay]

What are you gonna wear? A fucking heavy jacket?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no. A hoodie.

[Jay]

Need a sweater or a hoodie.

[Robert Kelly]

Where's a hoodie?

[Jay]

You should see me at Blink 182, Madison Sword Garden.

[Big J]

Damn. What a Tasmanian devil of excitement. Everyone's there. It's so great.

[Jay]

Listen, I Christine's no fun kicks.

[Big J]

What do you say?

[Jay]

That was one of your Christine's no fun kicks.

[Big J]

Well, I'm not going. The Blink 182.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll go.

[Jay]

I do not want you to go.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll go. I'll go with you. I mean, I'm probably a little too old to go. I'm going to have to dye my facial hair or shave it off. No, I want to go tie on with nipple tassels.

[Big J]

There's not a batch of new young girls going there. What you are going to go see is ladies with jowls and fucking baggy necks squeezing into fudgeing Avril Lavigne clothes.

[Robert Kelly]

My type of porn, baby.

[Big J]

Absolutely right.

[Robert Kelly]

It is my type of porn. I'll go there and fucking floor with all those. Those cancer freckle chest and have a good time. I love a nice chewy elbow. I love a fat elbow.

[Jay]

On a woman expecting that Deftones crowd to be as young, as young and.

[Big J]

Hot as there was some crazy young hot ass. The Deftones. I mean, some turn your head hot ass at that dress.

[Jay]

Slutty. Which is nice to see after Covid Sweat era.

[Big J]

It's a TikTok. It's a TikTok thing though.

[Robert Kelly]

That was your. That was. Can I say something about that crowd that it looked like just you and Christine over and over again duplicated. I literally. I walked up to seven different couples and went, hey, I got the wall. Oh, not you. Hey, I got you. Hey, I got the. Mm. Shit. God damn it. There's a lot of black chains and fucking.

[Big J]

You're like, holy shit, you guys are Asian. And I thought that was them.

[Robert Kelly]

A lot of mittens and red hair dye.

[Big J]

No doubt. No doubt.

[Robert Kelly]

But yeah, but he. But he was. He looked young, but his face was old, man. When they did the close up on his face, I mean, he on.

[Big J]

Oh, he looked like.

[Robert Kelly]

He looked like George Lopez.

[Big J]

Let me tell you something. Chino Marino was a gorgeous young man.

[Robert Kelly]

Great name.

[Big J]

And then he went through some severe ups and downs. Alcohol and drug problems. And he would be sometimes flat out fat. He's been really fat. So his face is a little beaten up by that. But he's always look he. Now what's great about it is he's thin. So he looks cool again, but yeah, his face is. Yeah, his face is worse for the wear. But look what he was young, he was a good looking kid.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, get a picture of him right now.

[Big J]

Oh yeah, no, right now is a.

[Robert Kelly]

Different story now he looks like a hundred percent like every other.

[Big J]

Well, I wouldn't even do now. Now is not the best tell of it.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that not George Lopez or not? I mean, look at that.

[Big J]

No, without a doubt. But that's him now. Like he.

[Robert Kelly]

Hello, Hello. With the Deftones. Dude, you're gonna kick us across the border, Mr. Trump. Go yourself. We'll go by ourselves.

[Lou]

You're doing. See ya.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, no, that's band ho.

[Big J]

There you go. There you get to see. I mean that's, that's where it's gotten. So.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, my name is Gino Mourinho and I love cookies, right? I love tacos and I love megas. Me and Josh Alamein get the mega. Every time we're in Austin, I go and get the mega.

[Big J]

I agree with you, Bobby. It looks like this guy should be producing one of your shows over. You know what, dude, Gina Moreno, he's gonna be on the road with Bobby filming. I mean, look at him now. Look how good he looks now.

[Robert Kelly]

Actually, I look good now. But let me tell you something. For a long time I come see me. I couldn't run around the stage. I could switch with the microphone around. I tried to eat it one night.

[Big J]

And that's what I'm thinking about getting. Currently Chino Marino hair. No, no, no, Current. No, you're not looking at the current.

[Robert Kelly]

I am looking at current. Right over to the right.

[Big J]

Nope, that's current. Yeah, it's a good length.

[Robert Kelly]

That is.

[Big J]

Yeah. I mean, you're watching, looking at him, sweating. That's a good length.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I want you having long hair on the back, man. I say you grow it.

[Big J]

You guys are racist against Mexicans.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we are, but that's besides the point.

[Big J]

Real nice, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I love Mexicans. You don't like Mexicans. You hired Israelis. I hired Mexicans to do my work.

[Big J]

No, I hired an Israeli to hire Mexicans.

[Robert Kelly]

That's true. I hired Mexicans to hire Guatemalans.

[Big J]

Technically. I hired Christine to hire an Israeli to hire Mexicans.

[Robert Kelly]

I hired Don to hire a Mexican to hire Guatemalans who had hired El Salvadorians.

[Big J]

So we were both wise in hiring Christine and Dawn.

[Robert Kelly]

That's right.

[Big J]

Smart guys.

[Robert Kelly]

We are smart.

[Big J]

That's going to be my hair.

[Jay]

Do you have benefits?

[Big J]

I see? No, I see on no benefits.

[Robert Kelly]

You have benefits?

[Big J]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It's called heat.

[Big J]

You live a life of benefits.

[Robert Kelly]

It's called heat and Az.

[Big J]

Sorry.

[Jay]

Do you get health insurance?

[Robert Kelly]

It's called the full fridge.

[Big J]

Yeah. You sewed your pussy shut, and then I moved you into a house. I think you're getting some benefits.

[Robert Kelly]

They really did sew them shut. They shut down the pussy factory on us. They opened up the pussy factory to get us, and then as soon as they got us, they shut that factory down like a Ford dealership in Detroit.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And. And they did the great white fucking walkout. And now we're expected to go on the road and I could do anything.

[Big J]

It's fine.

[Robert Kelly]

I would kill myself.

[Big J]

It goes long enough, you don't even miss it anymore. I don't remember what it's like.

[Robert Kelly]

I know.

[Big J]

I don't remember.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't even know how.

[Big J]

I'm like, was it ever good? Maybe it was never good. Maybe that's why we stopped.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I ask a question? When you fuck, do you do circles or do you pump in and out? I forget.

[Big J]

I don't know either. Yeah, I'm not the person to ask.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know anybody. Lou. Anything you've been banging, right? Yes. You pump in and out or circles? A little bit of both.

[Big J]

Oh, nice.

[Robert Kelly]

What? First circles. Circles.

[Big J]

Okay, circles. Then the pump. Dippity dip. I see on the topic sheet here, Agenda, WrestleMania thumbs down, it says, released the same night as my special. Didn't realize at the time, and I know I have a fan base that that is going to be a struggle on that first night. What do you do first? Get the WrestleMania live.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I'll tell you what. I'm a fan. I love it. I've been following the whole storyline.

[Big J]

But who calls this thumbs down? Is this a. You call?

[Robert Kelly]

I say it's thumbs down.

[Big J]

Okay. That's what I'm saying.

[Robert Kelly]

A lot of people, because of what they did. Here's what they did. They had the Rock come in.

[Big J]

Come.

[Robert Kelly]

In months ago, set this up. Wanted Cody Rhodes. So right. Cena was going to fight Cody Cena's last year.

[Big J]

This Cena went heel.

[Robert Kelly]

Cena went heel because of the Rock. Told him to, Right?

[Big J]

He also went bald.

[Robert Kelly]

He fixed that, I believe.

[Big J]

I don't think he did.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, maybe he didn't.

[Big J]

I saw back when he first turned heel, his. It's crazy what's going on right there.

[Robert Kelly]

I think since then. I think since then something happened because I didn't see.

[Big J]

I don't think you can get a Transplant and keep wrestling.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't.

[Big J]

I don't even get a hair transplant and wrestle next day. I think you would. Also.

[Robert Kelly]

They sprayed it. They have magnetic spray hair.

[Big J]

Oh, he wasn't using it for the longest time. He looked ridiculous.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, what happened? They set up this Wrestlemania. Now the Wrestlemania used to be one night, now it's Saturday and Sunday.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So they're selling out the arena two nights in a row. 69 or 67,000 people a night. It's an epic all weekend thing. Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

[Big J]

Some say it's the skank fest of wrestling.

[Robert Kelly]

It reminds me very much of skank fest. Just not as fun.

[Big J]

Not as fun as Gang fest. But Jelly Roll is going to be.

[Robert Kelly]

A boat Saturday night. Saturday night was epic. They had a double heel turn with Paul Heyman. Paul Heyman who is. Roman Reigns is. You know, he's his guy, right? You got CM Punk with Paul Heyman who have history from ecw. They're friends. And then you have Seth Rollins. Seth. Seth friggin Rollins who. They had a three way match and nice fucking Paul Heyman turns on CM.

[Big J]

Punk in the middle of a three way.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, they're supposed to have. He was supposed to be CM Punk said, listen, you owe me. I want you by my side at, at WrestleMania. Because it was. It was CM Punk's first time headlining Wrestlemania. It's like this big thing for him and he got him this deal. Paul Heyman. So all of a sudden an all guy three way, three way wrestling match. Jay, quote unquote, no wrestling match.

[Big J]

They wrestled gay sex. No, it's wrestling, but it's thinly veiled gay sex.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean thinly. But yes, I mean they are. They are rubbing their shit in each other's faces.

[Big J]

A three way dance. They call.

[Robert Kelly]

But so what happened? It's so. Dude, it's so funny because wrestling is so fake and the fact that we know it's fake, but we.

[Big J]

Spoiler alert.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, well, it's. Look, it's kayfab, right? But we know and I love that they let us in on it.

[Big J]

But Bobby, I believe and I think I'm crazy here, I think I'm wrong. I've always called it kayfabe. I'm probably kayfabe.

[Robert Kelly]

It's kayfabe. Oh, but that. I'm gonna say something right now. Guys, he did it. Guys, I mean listen, he. Jay, that is. That is so amazing. What you just. Christine. I mean it was. I can't believe man, you. You're growing so much and you would.

[Big J]

Have never in front of your eyes.

[Robert Kelly]

You would have never done this with Dan. He would have not corrected you. He would have done it at this stupid dinner with those guys that's right.

[Big J]

Behind your back taking the credit. Dinner and shit. Talked me by my back.

[Robert Kelly]

Shit talked you with these at Tom Classic. Whatever dumb restaurant they go to.

[Big J]

Classic Soda, right? Taking the crew out and talking me all day behind my back.

[Robert Kelly]

I told face your micro corrections so.

[Big J]

You'D learn I worked.

[Robert Kelly]

And you know what? That was beautiful.

[Big J]

I did the work on myself.

[Robert Kelly]

It's Kay Fabe, right?

[Big J]

Thank you for helping me look inward, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you for actually trying and trying to make a difference with yourself. Because not only is it going to better my life on this show, it's going to better all our lives.

[Big J]

Christine, you understand now I've taken out on her tenfold at home, of course.

[Jay]

Thanks a lot, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

I just don't want to.

[Big J]

She's gonna get corrected on every thing she says. Micro correct macro corrections are about to be coming, girl. Macro Corrections. Is WrestleMania free on Netflix. Free on peacock though.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it?

[Big J]

Yeah, right now you just get it if you have a peacock. That's cool. That's very cool.

[Robert Kelly]

But. So what happened? This is so funny. I don't know if you can bring it up. You have to bring up Rock Paul Heyman when he. When he turns on. This is how he turns. He turns on CM Punk for Roman. Now Roman is like, okay, great, he's my guy again. And Seth is. Got his back to him. He gives Roman the chair now, so. But the way he turned. And then he turns on Roman, but he goes underneath and punches them from underneath. Like in the.

[Big J]

So you're saying it's in the goggles.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a gaggoods and it's. It's very gay. But what he does do when he punches Roman, he. He punches him from underneath and then just goes and just wiggles his dick around his mouth just to make sure he goes under. Here we go.

[Big J]

Just to jiggle him up.

[Robert Kelly]

So he already took out. You see CM Punk behind him. He hit him in the nuts. Now he gives the chair to Roman and he's. Seth is just standing there now Here, this is. This is it right here. Watch what he does. Okay, Watch to Roman Reigns. There it goes. Wait. Now watch.

[Big J]

Ring the bell, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, exactly.

[Big J]

I saw Paul Heymon and H and H bagels once and we had a little Philly love for each other.

[Robert Kelly]

He's the. He's the best. He's so over the top. I mean, his Face is nuts.

[Big J]

He looks like. He. He looks in such bad health. He's so red and.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but he's. I mean, he's. He's boss hog. Yeah, but he is so perfect for this.

[Big J]

Roman Reigns, by the way, who has an excuse to have a bad body when this guy's had four bouts with cancer and he's never been more shredded.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know. He looks great. So he turned on him, went with Seth, which is crazy. He turned on. He turned on Roman, who is the king, you know, I mean, he's the head of the table. He's the. He's the. The. The top dog. He's been with him for years, Right. As his wise man. The Shield, before he was with the Shield with Seth, by the way. Did you know that? Okay. Did you?

[Big J]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

You knew he was. All right, so.

[Big J]

Well, the night. The one. Christine won't remember this, but the one Monday night Raw that we went to, that we ruined for Dan when we went to the Garden with him.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you did?

[Big J]

Or Brooklyn Barclays Center. How'd you ruin it? I didn't mean. I didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

You are going to.

[Big J]

No, no. I will not take any blame for this. I have no blame for this. I went there fully ready to embrace it. I don't know anything going on. Do you know? I mean, I'm trying to follow along with the show. I was very into. I've been the wrestling a bunch when I was younger. I thought. I think the production's fun. Like all the stuff, the wrestling, the crowd going nuts. It was great. Dan, behind the production booth, Dan, he loves wrestling. He likes to go cut loose and be a child at wrestling, which he. Yeah, I wanted him to do. I had no problem. And you would see. And I know, particularly the moment you cut the Shield.

[Robert Kelly]

Comedy Jam.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a child.

[Big J]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

You pretty much Grease three.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a fucking faggy T bird.

[Big J]

I need a cool rider.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it really is.

[Big J]

It is.

[Robert Kelly]

If Josh is on a bar, like singing Fucking Teenage Dropout.

[Big J]

That bar thing really meant something to you. He really loved it.

[Robert Kelly]

It was pretty great. But it was the gayest thing I've ever seen.

[Big J]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

You. You loved it. It was great. Listen, I loved it, but it was pure gayness. It was pure. If I.

[Jay]

Rock star.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something. No. If I. If it was drinking Bobby, I'd be like, we gotta beat these guys up.

[Big J]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

We gotta take all these guys out. Start with those two twins.

[Jay]

And it would have happened 12, probably queer bash.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's Go Queer Bash. You guys.

[Big J]

I used to love it. So we went Rocky har people. We were enjoying. I was enjoying the thing very much. But I don't know. The stuff's going on.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

And then particularly the moment. The one where I really was like, we're ruining Dan's good time.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, did something. Did I say something wrong?

[Christine]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Why do you got that face?

[Christine]

It's all good.

[Robert Kelly]

What happened?

[Christine]

Nothing happened.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta cut something out.

[Big J]

I have to say it.

[Robert Kelly]

What'd you say?

[Christine]

It's business talk between me and Dan.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but you can't in the middle of the show. Look at him.

[Christine]

I'm not doing anything. That was.

[Big J]

Throw something black Lou. What was it?

[Robert Kelly]

What was it?

[Christine]

We have to make an edit.

[Robert Kelly]

What I say?

[Big J]

Yeah. We can't say the F word.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, say it. Can I say Sissy Bot?

[Big J]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

How about Limp Risti? How about Pinky Underwears?

[Big J]

Twirly Birds are all great.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. Sorry. No, no.

[Big J]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Christine]

Check with Big Jim on that one.

[Big J]

Can you call people the wrong slurs?

[Robert Kelly]

Is that way? Is that why Bing Jim's not looking me in the eye today when he came down.

[Big J]

How about if I use the. How about if I use the N word freely? But I'm only talking about Jews, right?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I think that.

[Big J]

I think that Run it up the ladder. Yeah, because I think this might be a brand new dawning on of live radio.

[Christine]

I'm gonna love my pig.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna. I'm not gonna use the F word. I'm gonna call them orange peels There you go. Yeah. You and Josh a bunch of orange peels. Go ahead.

[Big J]

Can't argue that. Cannot argue that. Yeah, but. So one of the big things that happened at that wrestling event.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

We were with Soder. Was the Shield reunited for the first time in a while, I guess.

[Robert Kelly]

Crazy.

[Big J]

And so they played whatever the Shield's music is, and the three or four guys came out, I think, to help Roman Reigns. It was like they formed and came and helped him, and the place went crazy. And Dan next to me, started to stand up. I mean, he went, oh. And he started to get up, and then he looked over at me, who was just, like, smiling, and he. He didn't stand all the way up. And then he's like this. He just went, yes. He just gave, like, a little. Like a little fist himself. I'm like, oh. And I said to Christina, I go, we're running. I feel bad. We came. I'm having a good time. But he can't. He's not letting himself be free. He's worried that I'm judging him.

[Robert Kelly]

But you were. No, you were giggling a little. You know, buddy, let me tell you something. You don't know your face. You didn't even know you micro corrected till a month ago.

[Big J]

I was having a good time at wrestling.

[Robert Kelly]

You're having a good time. Time. But when he got up to try to get into it like we do when you're at wrestling and he looked over at you and you were looking up at those judgmental, beautiful eyes, he had to pull it back. You should have got up with him and went, what are we screaming for? You know? But instead, you looked at him like, he's a wet orange Bobby.

[Big J]

Better the mu. The music.

[Robert Kelly]

Better. Better. Black glue. We good.

[Big J]

You make an orange peel.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

Oh, bro.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh.

[Big J]

No. I'm telling.

[Robert Kelly]

That's crazy. If they came back, I'd lose my mind.

[Big J]

Well, they did.

[Robert Kelly]

That's awesome.

[Big J]

But the thing was, everyone reacted to the music. I didn't even know the. So I don't even know what I'm looking at yet. I was not taking his time that I felt terrible that he. Because I. In my mind, I was like, part of the fun was gonna be Dan whooping and going for the things, and then I'll join in and whoop along, too.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's his fault. He should have just went for it and not cared because she went for it. You wouldn't have cared.

[Big J]

No, I would have been as fun. I would have. Listen, if we were yelling stuff Out. I would have had fun. I would have started yelling stuff out too. I would have got.

[Robert Kelly]

You took him to a Rocky Horror Picture Show. You guys would have flipped out.

[Big J]

I'm not familiar with the rock or har picture. I've never gone the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, well, you look like you might have.

[Big J]

I don't. Christine used to date a guy who dressed like a lady all the time. Went to Rocky show once.

[Jay]

He dressed like it was constant.

[Big J]

She said. She said he used to constantly go to Rocky and wear tights.

[Jay]

No, my other and fishnets had a whole alter ego.

[Big J]

The story's changed through the years. Christine dated gays before me.

[Jay]

I'm the Doug.

[Big J]

You can say gays.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you can say gays.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, gays.

[Big J]

You just can't say orange peels.

[Jay]

I didn't date gays. I was in love with gays.

[Big J]

Right, and then you dated the closest thing to gays, guys who dress like women.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Those are called orange peels. Orange peels. Those are called salad dressings.

[Big J]

Christine. No big deal. You just dated a sweet transvestite from old transsexual San Diego or whatever.

[Jay]

There's also six four.

[Big J]

Huh?

[Jay]

He was also six four.

[Big J]

You're trying to say he's taller than me, so that should mean something.

[Jay]

No, I'm just saying it was.

[Big J]

Set me up to fight him. Set me up to fight your ex boyfriend at skank Fest. Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big J]

I want him to show off, not.

[Jay]

Want anything to do with me.

[Big J]

Jay. I want your 6 foot 4 lawyer ex boyfriend come to come up in his fish nets. I'm gonna straighten this out.

[Christine]

I mean transvestite, but I'd love to 6 foot 4.

[Robert Kelly]

So what are you gonna do? Oh, yeah, I'll go.

[Christine]

What are you gonna do?

[Robert Kelly]

You put a triangle on them and choke them out with that's on just a big high heel wrapping around his neck.

[Big J]

I would not come home with Christine. But I do see the humor in me getting beat up by Christine's transvestite ex boyfriend.

[Jay]

He's not a trans.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's an orange peel.

[Big J]

Christine, how are you so sure he's not a transvestite? You don't know what his life's been since then.

[Jay]

That is true.

[Robert Kelly]

Find him right now on Facebook.

[Big J]

I guarantee you think he grew out of being a transvestite after you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Let me say something. When you dress like a. A woman in that era. Era. And now it's okay to do it. He's doing it now.

[Big J]

Do you think your behavior Is that of a brash man so much that you feel you have to date trans? Transvestites.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Jim Norton didn't get further away from cock.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Hey, he's very nice guy.

[Big J]

Do you feel like your ex boyfriend felt there had to be a woman in that relationship so he had to do it? Do you think if. Do you think if he thought if he didn't dress like a woman that he felt he was in a gay relationship with a guy?

[Jay]

Okay, I'll show a picture, but don't say the name and don't show the picture.

[Robert Kelly]

All right? If you don't. If you don't think they. Them, she. They her dresses like a woman on weekends, you're out of here.

[Big J]

Literally. Do me a favor, Christine. Bring up a picture of Hannah Gatsby and put it right next to your ex.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Oh, my God.

[Big J]

For the penis with a trans woman. Christine thinks this guy will beat me up?

[Jay]

I didn't say that.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big J]

Boom. Christine, you dated Hannah Gatsby.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J]

Yep.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. That's exactly the same person.

[Big J]

It's the same person, except your.

[Robert Kelly]

Your girl smiles better. Hannah can't smile.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Unless there's a ham in front of her. Wow. That's crazy. That is nuts.

[Big J]

Kick it.

[Robert Kelly]

So angry.

[Jay]

That's so funny.

[Big J]

Christine stole Jills to those pictures.

[Christine]

Uncanny.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it's crazy how much they look alike.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So he used to dress like a.

[Big J]

Woman all the time.

[Jay]

They went to Rocky Horror Picture Show. We knew some of the guys that were, like, in the thing, but he only.

[Big J]

What's that?

[Jay]

She said, oh, the show they, like, helped lead the show to. Yes, but there's people that, like, they.

[Robert Kelly]

Go to the movie and it's a show. They do the show at the movie.

[Big J]

How do you know?

[Robert Kelly]

Huh? Because.

[Big J]

Interesting.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Big J]

I want to tell you, mister, throwing it all over here at me, because.

[Robert Kelly]

My sister used to hang out with a bunch of orange peels back when she was a kid. Oh, yeah. And I remember one time, me and my sister, when the stepdad used to beat us and hit us and all that, we separated. We became two. We didn't really hang out. She went to Survive. I went to Survive.

[Big J]

And then gave your cousin head.

[Robert Kelly]

You gave your cousin head? I didn't. And then she went. She went with all these people. She went with a bunch of orange peels that love this.

[Big J]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

And they had a. They had their, like, this big old Oldsmobile. They used to call it. Matt Massingale was the name of the car. And they'd all pile in and they'd go to the Rocky Heart and they'd practice in the park.

[Big J]

Practice.

[Robert Kelly]

Practice. Yeah. Because they would go here and you have to do the whole show.

[Big J]

That's what Christine's transvestite boyfriend did. He would go be part of the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's. That's what they do. I've never been, but he was part.

[Jay]

Of the show or this guy we knew.

[Robert Kelly]

Question then.

[Big J]

Why did he wear fishnets?

[Jay]

Because that's part of it. Everybody dresses up.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody.

[Big J]

You don't have to.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Well, they do.

[Big J]

Then why wouldn't you choose to be meatloaf?

[Robert Kelly]

He was an orange peel, too.

[Big J]

Why don't you. Why don't you try to be meatloaf? Or maybe be Brian Boston. What's his name?

[Robert Kelly]

Am I good? Jim. Am I good?

[Big J]

Bruce Bostwick. What's his name?

[Christine]

Barry Bostick.

[Big J]

Barry Bostwick. Be Barry Bostwick.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, look it. It's not fun to be Barry Boswick. It's funner to be the transvestite. I get it.

[Big J]

It's not, huh? No, it's not.

[Robert Kelly]

How do you know?

[Big J]

I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

All right.

[Big J]

I will tell you that I would have less fun wearing fishnets.

[Jay]

You dressed up like a transvestite and let them shoot you.

[Big J]

She's still in love with this guy.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Jay]

She's doing a video anywhere. But you did that.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on.

[Big J]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on.

[Big J]

Talk about this. Plenty of.

[Robert Kelly]

Slow down. I've never heard of. About it.

[Big J]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on one second, please. I've never heard about it.

[Big J]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

So I would like to, because as.

[Big J]

Soon as I'll be happy to tell you.

[Robert Kelly]

I told you that. How I knew about this. My sister. You came at me pretty quick, like, oh, you went. But I didn't. How you dressed like a woman.

[Big J]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

But not as a. As a teenager, as a kid. Not as a man. Not in your 20s.

[Big J]

In my early 30s.

[Robert Kelly]

In your 30s, you put woman's clothes on.

[Big J]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And fishnets. Yep.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You put heels on.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And makeup and a wig. Or did you use your own hair?

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Jay]

I still don't know. I don't really know why you did it or agreed to it.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.

[Big J]

Money.

[Robert Kelly]

His inner passion.

[Big J]

Yeah, my passion came out.

[Robert Kelly]

He couldn't fight it anymore.

[Big J]

The passion of the orange peel.

[Robert Kelly]

I hope you find. I hope you find a secret closet in your new house with just a bunch of chubby women clothes in it. Just a blouse An XL blouse. We should make a bet. Our next bet that we do for something should be. The other one has to dress like a woman for the show.

[Big J]

For the whole show. But a beautiful woman. Like, you're gonna get done upright.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, yeah, you have to look great.

[Big J]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, but you can. I'm gonna say this. You can park somewhere else and Uber over. We can't be showing up at our parking lot. I'll never live it down. I'll have to go to another parking lot. And I love that parking lot.

[Big J]

You'll have to go to the parking lot that.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Big J]

You might win, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but if I don't, I'll have to move. I'm not. I can't.

[Big J]

No, you just go. It's just a bit. They're gonna be like, you look good, El Beto.

[Robert Kelly]

I like you like that. You look good.

[Big J]

Smoke a cigar at the same time.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna get my car and there's gonna be one in the front seat with this cock out.

[Big J]

Hell yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Hello, Mrs. Kelly.

[Big J]

See if the second you get out of the car, just fart a lot. Fart and burp.

[Robert Kelly]

I like. I like farts. It makes me hungry. It reminds me of my mama.

[Jay]

The good thing. I searched and searched for this video though. And it's like it's so erased from the Internet, you can't find it anywhere that you are.

[Robert Kelly]

So there's a video of you in a woman's dress.

[Big J]

It seems to be pretty erased. I don't know. But it was for nothing. It was. Fattigate probably has it. John Fatty probably has it. You could get it. I don't care. It was. They were doing a promo for something at Stan New York. They offered me money is what it was. I was broke. Listen, I was karaoke DJing for 200 a week.

[Robert Kelly]

So there is a price on your slutness.

[Big J]

Sure. What I definitely wasn't doing was doing it for fun with my friends. A bunch of orange peels.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you did it because you're a hoe.

[Big J]

I think some slut. I didn't say I wasn't a dirty little.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a certain. Pray we can get him to one of those parties. One of those.

[Big J]

Let me do a lock in party where everybody goes to work on me or I'm blowing everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

We should do it. Forget about the seller party next year. We just have a lock in party with Jay.

[Big J]

Yo, how about me off? Listen, besides Christine, all of. What is it? Five of us? Yeah, we're the Lock in party people. We have to entertain a bunch of men in a lock in. How do we do it?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, we'll tell you how we do it. We get that juicy rump from DJ Lou. Put that on a table.

[Big J]

Yeah, well, I don't want to see that thing where they. Where I'm sitting on a guy's lap in front of the camera. He's spreading my asshole and really showing the hole to everybody. I just gotta sit there and look backwards like I don't care. I don't care.

[Robert Kelly]

You know there's gonna be a line behind cutie Jacob.

[Big J]

Oh, absolutely. Jacob. You are gonna get whaled on, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

He's gonna be the white girl on the. In the crew.

[Big J]

Absolutely. It was gonna be like, yo, I want the teensy one.

[Robert Kelly]

I want the teensy one with ass.

[Big J]

They want to see the. They want to see the top of their going along your spine when they enter you.

[Robert Kelly]

So.

[Big J]

But yeah, so I wore the thing for that, and it was like. Oh, it was. I hated it. It was awful. But wait a minute.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to say one thing. I want to stop.

[Big J]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

So you put the makeup on. You must have. Everybody likes getting makeup put on. No, listen, everybody likes getting the makeup put on because you do Hang on. It feels good when you get in the eye. And who did your makeup? Christine?

[Big J]

No, somebody at the. Some makeup artist.

[Robert Kelly]

Professional. And were you. I mean, were you sitting there going, oh, are you talking it up? And, hey, and. And like, would you. Do you like that?

[Big J]

I'm sure I was making them laugh, but I. No, I don't. I don't even like getting the makeup. You have to get as a man on. When you're filming stuff, it takes forever.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you don't like it. Because it's not. Doesn't make you pretty.

[Big J]

That's right. It doesn't make me beautiful. This is just guy makeup.

[Robert Kelly]

So when you put the fishnets in the high heel and the dress, I.

[Big J]

Felt a lie for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life, if everything felt right, I'll say it. And this one, I gave my cousin head. My cousin head, you guys in the. Yay. You need Adolf. You guys, listen to Yadolf.

[Robert Kelly]

You just made me bite my lips.

[Big J]

Hey, do you guys listen to yate off at all? I give my cousin head. It's when I gave my cousin head.

[Robert Kelly]

What if.

[Big J]

What if.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, people say I found myself. What if. What if that really happened? What if you put all that stuff on? You're like, this is Stupid.

[Big J]

And I was just a complete awakening.

[Robert Kelly]

You looked in the mirror, you're like, this is who I am.

[Big J]

Oh, my God. It's right. Kitty cat. You've been kitty cat your whole life.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, happy Christine would be if she got to live with a woman. No, she'd be like. She'd be like, we could just shop together.

[Big J]

No, Christine would have been a fantastic lesbian. She's. She'll dive in. I mean, all in on some gooch. But she does not want to spend lots of time. She'll. She does not want to spend substantial kicking it time with a romantically involved girl.

[Robert Kelly]

Have you ever been with a gay guy?

[Big J]

Christine Aggressively. She's tried.

[Jay]

No, I crushes on a guy that ended up being gay when I was, like, in middle school.

[Robert Kelly]

But you never went with a gay guy.

[Big J]

Something about the smell of turd on their dicks did something to her.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it does something to all of us.

[Big J]

Doesn't it, though?

[Jay]

I mean, I've only dated three people. None of them were gay.

[Robert Kelly]

You've only dated three people?

[Big J]

Yes, she. Everybody.

[Jay]

Yeah, I.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody.

[Jay]

But I only date three people.

[Robert Kelly]

At least you know your boundaries.

[Jay]

I don't date.

[Big J]

Christine's been out to dinner, not on her dime, three times in her life, but she has fucked hundreds.

[Robert Kelly]

So this Wrestlemania. To wrap it up before we go to break, just to wrap all this up. That night was great. The first night. Saturday night was great. All the turns. It was exactly. It's a male. What is. It's a male soap opera. It's like this holy shit. Stupid soap opera that you buy into. And it was awesome. On. Sunday night was the other main event with Cody. Right. And John Cena, which they've been building with the Rock for months.

[Big J]

Is it true that the end of this Cena says Israel free Palestine?

[Robert Kelly]

No, that was Coachella.

[Big J]

Oh, okay. I confused Wrestlemania for Coachella a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

So. So what happened? Dude, it was so anticlimactic and the fans are nuts. They're going crazy because Cena just. There was. There was no Rock. Rock didn't show up.

[Big J]

Which didn't show up.

[Robert Kelly]

Didn't show up. There was no big guest appearance.

[Big J]

Showed up here yesterday.

[Robert Kelly]

I was leaking and it didn't show up. And then. Which. He was part of the storyline, by the way. He's the one who got Cena turned Cena heel. Yeah, he gave him the old cut the throat thing and made him.

[Big J]

So he made his weird monkey face every.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, exactly. Everybody was expecting the Rock to show weird. And then the ending of it was Cody Rhodes, which is a three year buildup to his story to get the belt. It's crazy. He lost the belt by Cena was begging him not to hit him with the belts. And he was like, you know, you're gonna have to make. You know, please, no, no. And then Cena was like. And then he hit him and knocked him out with the belt and then tapped him out. It was such an anticlimactic ending for everybody.

[Big J]

Cody Rhodes lost.

[Robert Kelly]

Cody Rhodes lost the belt to John Cena, but in a very stupid way.

[Big J]

Yeah, but he's going to just get it back before Cena's done after this year, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, Cena's got a whole year left. I don't know, dude. It was just, you know, you get this 67, 69,000 people in arena and last year was so epic.

[Big J]

Isn't it so funny?

[Robert Kelly]

The lights went out and, and, and, and there the rock came out. The lights went out and the undertaker appeared. Chokeslam the Rock for Cody to get the belt. It was epic this year. It was so anticlimactic. I don't know what happened happened.

[Big J]

You know the person you're actually mad at though, what's so funny about this is writers. It's got nothing to do. The wrestlers just do what they're told.

[Robert Kelly]

They're giving triple H because he's the guy who comes up with this stuff. But who was the. The singer again? What's his stupid. And he stinks.

[Big J]

No, nobody else watches WrestleMania.

[Robert Kelly]

The singer that was there.

[Big J]

No one knows because we don't watch WrestleMania at all. Everybody here was busy watching.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't even know because I don't. He. He showed. They have him show. He was the big guest. Nobody gives a Liberace, Playboi Carti. No, Travis Scott. Yeah, he was there.

[Big J]

He's a cousin hand.

[Robert Kelly]

It stinks.

[Big J]

That's different Auto tune.

[Robert Kelly]

He sucks so bad. Nobody cares about him. And then he shows up and he walks out like he's the Nobody in wrestling gives a about Travis Scott. He comes out and then Cody Cody with him. He goes. It just sucks.

[Big J]

Wrestling is doing. Listen from my friends who love wrestling. Tony Hinchcliffe. He did a roast. Bert. No, no, I know. He got in for his thing too because he made fun of someone who had their neck broken. Seriously. He made a joke about Big E and now Biggie had to make a statement. It was like, hey man, people are gonna laugh if they want to laugh, but it's like, you know, it's pretty serious neck injury.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like, when they did roast, they did roast with ufc. Did them for a minute when they first came out.

[Big J]

Terrible idea.

[Robert Kelly]

And they. They don't get it. They don't take.

[Big J]

They take themselves very seriously, these guys, especially wrestlers, because they're. They know they're. What they're doing is fucking silly. They're wearing up glittery underwear and rolling around with guys. They understand that it's like a silly thing. They want to feel like they got to take themselves a little seriously.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, Adam Hunter was doing roasts with the UFC guys, but the UFC guys who were murderers, they were like, hey, man, shut the up. They. They didn't understand. Yeah, they don't understand what?

[Big J]

That Evangelist Silva. You got a face that not even a mother could love. What did he say? Monsters.

[Robert Kelly]

So.

[Big J]

But Tony. No, I love seeing my friends get it. But I. As a wrestling. When I was a wrestling fan. Yeah, I would have hated that because. And I did. As I got a little bit older, the. The. I never got excited about when Rodman came in for nwo. Karl Malone joined the NWO for a minute or something. Or Diamond Dallas Page, Carl Malone joined Jay Leno, came out and did something with somebody one time they had. When they would do those, I was like, wow, you're not even giving the people who enjoy this and want to live in, like, the.

[Robert Kelly]

We don't care.

[Big J]

This is sort of real. No, you've really let it out. So the problem is when you're having Bert, come on. I think it's great for Bert. Bert had a blast. And Schultz and these guys are having so much fun doing it. But the obvious nature that, like, oh, look who's in the audience. A guy who's promoting a special that just came out on Netflix. Oh, and now he's got a problem with one of the wrestlers.

[Robert Kelly]

But those. I disagree. I think those appearances leading up to it are great, but this, because they're out of nowhere. This is the final match. This is a buildup. And you have this knucklehead walkout who stinks, has no charisma. You don't have the rock. Stone Cold was there. You don't have Stone Cold come out and do something. Help. Help. Cena turn heel and fuck up code. You could have had any wrestler there that would have. The place would have went ballistic. And nobody gives a shit about this.

[Big J]

Because it's always the stuff. It's. The halftime show is for the ladies at the Super Bowl. This is. They're trying to entertain a lot of people here. So this is for Young. This is for young people.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but young people don't watch this. This is for fat, old, middle aged guys who love.

[Big J]

That's depressing. It's supposed to be for teenagers.

[Robert Kelly]

Huh?

[Jay]

I thought it was for kids.

[Big J]

Supposed to be for kids and teenagers.

[Robert Kelly]

It's for teenagers and guys.

[Jay]

Travis Scott does seem like a weird choice, though.

[Big J]

Well, no, it's not because they're trying to. Listen, here's what it is. Travis Scott's famous. He's a fan of wrestling, clearly. But he's. That's what. He's a fan of wrestling. So he gets a chance to do it. And listen, I think it's neat these guys get to do it. But when I was a pure wrestling fan, I would have been annoyed if they're constantly like, this could be more show. And now they're doing a five minute storyline here that Andrew Schultz and Logan Paul have this beef that has to be settled in the fucking ring for five and then it goes nowhere. It's like Schultz is back next week to keep the storyline going. It's a simple. It's a promo. It's Hulk Hogan coming out and going, you know, you guys like beer? Drink real American beer. Boo. All right, I love you guys too, brothers.

[Robert Kelly]

You could have had any wrestler come out at this point that was there and all of them were there this weekend. But this guy is not. Look at him. Nobody cares.

[Big J]

Dude. You're selling the Travis Scott. It's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

He sucks. Stone cold. Should have came out.

[Big J]

What do you want to Yadolf, give him cousin hand?

[Robert Kelly]

The Rock should have came out and it would have went nuts. And they. And they. They missed it.

[Big J]

You know, Funny enough, huh? Roman Reigns and the Rock, cousins. Do you think one of them gave each other. Oh, oh, no. He hurt Travis Scott. Can I say something? Flip that back a second. Travis Scott for being a little skinny mini fat dumper. You see the curve on this guy, Shitter? This guy's like DJ Lou territory.

[Robert Kelly]

Terrible. He can't even sell it.

[Big J]

Yeah, how could he? He's a super skin wrestler. Look at that bump, though, huh? You see it?

[Robert Kelly]

Nice bump. Yeah. I mean, Cody's hot too, but.

[Big J]

Yeah, I don't like. I don't like that kind of spiky short hair like that. You don't like that where it's like porcupine is one length the whole way around. Not my jam at all. I know. We have to take a break. We're way past break time.

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