The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: "Playing Guitar For Wolves"

Date: January 23, 2026
Channel: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

Episode Overview

This episode is classic "Bonfire": a blend of blunt comedian banter, irreverent nostalgia, and unscripted tangents. Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly (joined by Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, Christine, and Jacob) riff on everything from infamous bad biopics and ’80s sex symbols to the chaos of the comedy business and wise (and not-so-wise) financial investments. The tone swerves from hilarious and filthy to surprisingly insightful, all delivered with the crew’s signature honesty and chemistry.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ugly-Hot Rock Stars & Bad Biopics

[01:00–01:35]

• The hosts start with trademark roasts about aging rock stars and their dubious sexual appeal.
• Discussion moves to the infamously bad "CBGB" biopic, recollecting its lackluster depiction of Iggy Pop and David Bowie and mocking the film's overt and awkward sexual scenes.
• Memorable quote:
  • Andrew Santino: “Yeah, let’s go fucking gay off... it was like some weird overt scene of like Iggy Pop and David Bowie just going to suck each other’s dicks.” [01:29]

2. Comedy Scene Shoutouts & the Fame Game

[02:36–04:14]

• Jordan Jensen’s Breakout: Conversation about up-and-coming comedian Jordan Jensen, referencing Bradley Cooper’s public praise and her honest, self-deprecating reaction (literally having to find a place to poop in the park during her moment of viral fame).
• Jay and Bobby reminisce about getting their own shoutouts and reflect on how timing, luck, and preparation create "fame."
• Quote:
  • Bobby Lee: “They call it when timing, luck, and preparation meet, Jay. Yeah, that’s called fame.” [04:10]

3. Trash Talk: Sex, Scandal, and the Feldmans

[04:45–15:00]

• The team devolves into a wild conversation about Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, childhood “fooling around,” and the drama of questionable documentaries.
  • They openly skewer Feldman’s claims and Haim’s mother’s public reactions.
  • Bobby Lee: "You can't molest the kid your same age. That's just fooling around." [07:30]
• They joke about the absurdity of some Feldman-focused podcasts and their own (lack of) journalistic integrity during softball interviews with Feldman documentary insiders.
• Notable moment:
  • Christine: "Judy Haim calls Feldman a disgusting human being after learning of his claims..." [07:59]
  • Andrew Santino: "Corey Feldman can’t wait—he was so happy Corey Haim is dead..." [11:42]

4. Reality TV Meltdowns: Corey vs. Corey

[15:00–24:00]

• The group live-commentates the infamous kitchen fight between Corey Haim and Corey Feldman from "The Two Coreys" reality show.
  • Obsessed with set design, they mock the kitchen’s “wolf” range, Italian backsplash, and staged fruit.
  • Hilarious breakdown of the fight’s dynamics, exaggerated “tough guy” talk, and how embarrassment trumps pain in reality-TV scraps.
  • Quote:
    • Andrew Santino: "Once Corey Haim gets super serious... Corey Feldman just spends the whole time going like, ‘Please, let go of my lapels. You’re bending my dragons.’" [25:14]
• Parallels drawn to what would happen if the Bonfire crew did their own cabin reality show ("The Odd Throuple").

5. Nostalgia & ’80s Sex Scenes: Nicole Eggert, Alyssa Milano, and More

[27:43–35:33]

• Guys recall their adolescent crushes and the overabundance of softcore sex scenes from ’80s cable movies.
• In-depth, comedic debate: would you rather film a face-to-face “box-eating” scene or a fully naked riding scene with Nicole Eggert (in "Blown Away")?
  • Embarrassment and “sock-on-the-dick” logistics hilariously dissected.
  • Bobby Lee: “She kept rubbing it off because my ding dong was just going inside my body.” [28:55]
• The group laments most ’80s sex symbols’ slippery slide into obscurity or victimhood to hard life and disease.
  • Andrew Santino: "You understand why God gave her cancer." [31:35]
• Cultural critique of growing up as “misogynistic pieces of shit” raised on gratuitous T&A in films.

6. Life, Aging, and Trying Not to Dye

[35:40–44:00]

• The conversation shifts into the aging of male icons like Johnny Depp, Rob Lowe, Tommy Lee, and how the pressures of stardom ignite a desire to hold on to youth forever.
  • Discussion about going gray, dyeing hair, and whether men should fight aging at all.
  • Robert Kelly: "Comics can be old. Comics—we can get old. We can just stay our age and it doesn’t matter." [42:30]
• Patrice O'Neal remembered on his deathbed—gray bearded and un-dyed, with stories of black comics' dedication to hair dye.

7. Childhood Crushes, 'Bombshell' Nostalgia & Playboy Memories

[43:29–47:19]

• Favorites debated: Winona Ryder, Sherilyn Fenn, Samantha Morton, Jamie Gertz.
• Jacob reveals his Playboy collection and heartbreak over learning Sherilyn Fenn was "too sexual" for her boyfriend Jamiroquai.
• The group jokes about being exhausted by girlfriends who want to have sex too often.
  • Jacob: "That made me mental, you know."
  • Robert Kelly: "Even in my young 20s, I didn’t like to. I like to build it, build it, build it, do it and then done." [45:49]

8. Investments: From Apple Stock to Silver Coins

[47:46–56:00]

• The comics veer into personal finance:
  • Marvel at how Duff McKagan’s dad made him a millionaire by investing in Starbucks, Amazon, and Microsoft in the ’90s.
  • Ashton Kutcher’s tech investments.
  • Bobby Lee’s wins with Facebook and silver coins, complete with apocalyptic doomsday prepping logic.
    • Robert Kelly: "Some guy told me to buy silver... Dude, I’ve made so much money on silver it’s crazy." [52:39]
• Lengthy teasing about hiding/storing gold and silver, investment regrets, and potential for using coins in barter-economy dystopia.
• Running gag: Andrew Santino asks for market updates on everything from cobalt to frozen concentrated orange juice, mocking Wall Street jargon.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the cringiness of Hollywood sex scenes:
  • Bobby Lee: “She kept rubbing it off because my ding dong was just going inside my body.” [28:55]
• On aging out of sex symbol status:
  • Andrew Santino: "You understand why God gave her cancer." [31:35]
• On fame:
  • Bobby Lee: “They call it when timing, luck, and preparation meet, Jay. Yeah, that’s called fame.” [04:10]
• On posthumous celebrity drama:
  • Christine [re: Feldman/Haim feud]: “He’s taking advantage of someone that cannot respond.” [09:24]
• On living with regrets:
  • Andrew Santino: "If you shoot a fat guy, and he's laying on the ground...the last thing he'll say is, make sure the police pull my shirt down." [23:07]
• On prepping with silver coins:
  • Bobby Lee: "Some guy told me to buy silver... Dude, I’ve made so much money on silver it’s crazy." [52:39]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:00] – Roasting aging rock stars
• [02:36] – Jordan Jensen’s breakout/fame banter
• [04:45] – Corey Feldman/Haim drama
• [15:00] – Play-by-play of "The Two Coreys" kitchen fight
• [27:43] – Nicole Eggert/Alyssa Milano ’80s sex scenes debate
• [35:40] – Celebrity aging & gray hair
• [43:29] – Childhood bombshells and sex-obsessed partners
• [47:46] – Rockstar investing, silver vs gold, doomsday prepping

Tone & Style

The entire episode is a wild, relentless ride blending raunchy nostalgia, locker-room riffs, heartfelt mentions of comics past and present, and the kind of inside-industry mocking only seasoned comics can deliver. The language is unfiltered, irreverent, and almost always punches up (and sometimes down), never letting up for a moment.

Summary for the Uninitiated

If you missed this episode, you missed a rowdy, hilarious dissection of getting old, being young and dumb, and why comedians are uniquely equipped to laugh about it all—even as their peers (and their crushes) fade or fall out of Hollywood glory. The show is a real-time hangout where deeply personal, truly weird, and sometimes poignant stories from comedy and ’80s culture are all fair game. The Bonfire remains a must-listen for anyone who loves comedy’s unvarnished heart—warts, nostalgia, soft-rock biopics, and all.