Poop Slime with Farrah Abraham

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Poop Slime with Farrah Abraham"
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: March 20, 2025

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1. Introduction and Opening Banter [00:47 - 03:10]

The episode begins with Big Jay Oakerson and Bobby Kelly engaging in their trademark playful banter. They delve into a discussion about music, reminiscing about the film Footloose and its iconic soundtrack. Jay praises the song "I'm Free" by Kenny Loggins, highlighting its pivotal role in the movie's narrative.

Notable Quote:

• Big Jay Oakerson [00:52]: "They decide they're gonna have to fix up the barn so they could have a prom."

The conversation takes a humorous turn as Bobby playfully scolds Jay for technical issues, leading to a light-hearted exchange that sets the casual and candid tone of the show.

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2. Introduction of Farrah Abraham and Her Stand-Up Debut [03:10 - 05:37]

Farrah Abraham joins the bonfire, introducing herself as the guest for the episode. The hosts express excitement about her upcoming stand-up comedy debut titled Diary of a Teen Mom, scheduled to premiere at the Spearmint Rhino in New York City.

Notable Quotes:

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:16]: "Fair Avery would be a good person to put through the gauntlet..."
• Farrah Abraham [05:37]: "Thank you for coming on. Are you nervous about doing your first stand-up?"

The trio discusses Farrah's journey from reality TV fame to pursuing comedy, emphasizing the challenges and anticipations surrounding her first full stand-up show.

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3. Parenting and Personal Life Discussions [05:37 - 16:36]

The conversation shifts to Farrah's experience as a teen mom and her relationship with her daughter. Farrah candidly shares her struggles and growth, detailing how her past experiences have shaped her approach to parenting.

Notable Quotes:

• Farrah Abraham [07:05]: "Well, I got fired from Teen Mom and then I just started receiving these checks."
• Bobby Kelly [14:20]: "But you got your together, you got a plan, you're doing your stuff and you don't. You seem, you know, you got a kid."
• Farrah Abraham [09:26]: "I have to say, my cats, my dogs, every time I'm on the toilet. They come over and they like to look around the toilet seat."

Farrah discusses her decision to homeschool her daughter and the impact of her teenage pregnancy on her personal development. The hosts empathize with her journey, exploring themes of self-worth, mental health, and resilience.

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4. The Poop Slime Product and Controversies [25:57 - 35:32]

A significant portion of the episode centers around Farrah's unique venture into creating "poop slime," a novelty product designed to resemble fake feces. The discussion delves into the motivations behind the product, its reception, and the ethical considerations of monetizing such a concept.

Notable Quotes:

• Farrah Abraham [25:57]: "So it's just like putty that looks like poop. And then we made the poop emoji on it..."
• Big Jay Oakerson [27:03]: "It's hot chick doing gross stuff. People like the juxtaposition of that."
• Farrah Abraham [25:42]: "These stay-at-home moms."

The hosts humorously debate the product's marketability while addressing potential backlash. Farrah explains the origins of poop slime, emphasizing its comedic intent and distancing it from actual offensive content. The conversation also touches on internet culture and the challenges of maintaining control over one's image and products online.

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5. Experiences in the Adult Entertainment Industry [38:02 - 43:22]

Farrah opens up about her past involvement in the adult entertainment industry, discussing the personal and professional repercussions she faced. She reflects on her interactions with figures like James Dean and the subsequent impact on her mental health and public image.

Notable Quotes:

• Farrah Abraham [38:02]: "I have like an AI thing that actually tracks people all the time, stealing and doing stuff."
• Big Jay Oakerson [43:40]: "Is this gonna be a one-off thing you're doing? Are you gonna start hitting like the clubs?"

The hosts explore the darker aspects of fame and the pressures that come with it, including unwanted exposure and the struggle to redefine oneself. Farrah emphasizes her journey towards healing and self-acceptance, highlighting the importance of mental health support.

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6. Comedy Tour and Future Plans [43:22 - 45:37]

Farrah discusses her plans to embark on a comedy tour, aiming for a 200-city run to promote her stand-up show. The hosts express enthusiasm and offer support, brainstorming potential collaborations and openers for her performances.

Notable Quotes:

• Farrah Abraham [43:40]: "So I literally have to go get, like, I don't know. There's, like, creatures now..."
• Big Jay Oakerson [45:04]: "Da you brought Tracy Canazo doing it?"
• Farrah Abraham [44:02]: "200 stops. I could do multiple in a couple of cities..."

The segment underscores the collaborative spirit of the show, with Jay and Bobby encouraging Farrah to expand her comedic reach. They discuss logistics, promotional strategies, and the excitement surrounding her live performances.

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7. Conclusion and Final Remarks [45:37 - 47:30]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts promote their upcoming shows and specials. They extend invitations to listeners to attend their events, highlighting their commitment to delivering engaging and entertaining content.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Kelly [45:52]: "Make sure you go check out Big J's new special right now."
• Big Jay Oakerson [46:15]: "We're gonna have a blast. I'm gonna be this weekend where am I?"

The episode concludes with a humorous exchange about "hair dryer salmon" and light-hearted banter, maintaining the show's lively and irreverent atmosphere.

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Authenticity and Vulnerability: Farrah Abraham's openness about her past struggles and personal growth provides a raw and genuine portrayal of overcoming adversity.

• Innovative Entrepreneurship: The creation and marketing of "poop slime" showcase unconventional approaches to product development and the importance of niche markets in the comedy and novelty sectors.

• Mental Health Advocacy: The hosts and Farrah emphasize the significance of mental health support, highlighting resources like therapy and community support in personal development.

• Navigating Fame: The discussion underscores the complexities of managing public image, especially when transitioning from reality TV to other entertainment forms like stand-up comedy.

• Community and Collaboration: The camaraderie among Jay, Bobby, and Farrah illustrates the power of supportive networks in fostering creative ventures and personal reinvention.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Big Jay Oakerson [00:52]: "They decide they're gonna have to fix up the barn so they could have a prom."

• Bobby Kelly [01:32]: "Why don't you turn my mic on? Son of a bitch."

• Farrah Abraham [05:37]: "Thank you for coming on. Are you nervous about doing your first stand-up?"

• Farrah Abraham [25:57]: "So it's just like putty that looks like poop. And then we made the poop emoji on it..."

• Big Jay Oakerson [27:03]: "It's hot chick doing gross stuff. People like the juxtaposition of that."

• Farrah Abraham [38:02]: "I have like an AI thing that actually tracks people all the time, stealing and doing stuff."

• Bobby Kelly [45:52]: "Make sure you go check out Big J's new special right now."

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This episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly offers a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and candid discussions on unconventional topics. Farrah Abraham's participation brings depth to the conversation, highlighting themes of resilience, creativity, and the pursuit of personal fulfillment amidst challenges.

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

It's starting to sound like spring, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It'S not official till you've lit up.

[Bobby Kelly]

The grill with Kingsford Original Charcoal. This time of year, as we break in the backyard with friends and family, everything tastes better cooked with authentic wood fired barbecue flavor. Thanks to Kingsford welcome spring. Visit kingsford.com for charcoal and more from America's grilling expert.

[Farrah Abraham]

Experience the flavors of Latin America event at Whole Foods Market. With deals on vibrant ingredients and zesty creations storewide. Save on no antibiotics ever meet like chicken thighs and marinated skirt steak. Fresh avocados plus street food inspired items and more through March 25th. And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, whoever put the music together for the film Footloose nailed it. Three songs in that movie I could think of off the top of my head besides Footloose that are fantastic songs. This song they play, bang your head. Metal Health, one of our old bonfire songs plays as a thing. It's Christine leaving. She's here. Our guest is here. Oh, lovely. Nice. Put on I'm Free by Kenny Loggins. That's a good one. This was the song that played when they decided they were gonna have to fix up the barn so they could have a prom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh, why don't you turn my mic on? Son of a bitch. What a son of a bitch you are. Is that your dream? You and Jay talking about songs? Fucking loser. You were doing tech time. Ah, well. Turn my damn mic on. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You know I'm kidding. I love you. I love you. I love you, buddy. I love. Bring up this song from 1986. Let's jerk each other off with our knowledge of songwriters and drummers and lead singers. Oh, yeah, just obscure songs from Lenny. Kenny Loggins. Jay, I can't tell you how much I get wet every time you bring this up. Oh, I get to do my job. What I was meant to do in my heart. Bring up songs that nobody knows. But let's drop the extra weight of being funny and talking about horseshit. You know, they were just talking over each other last time. Bob and Mike yapping. Now we're in the mix. Some people are moved by things other than Kelly Clarkson. Dude. Damn. I'll slap your face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay. I'll slap his face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You maybe should have slapped his face for this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. I'll go to HR for this. All right. I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't eat your chick.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's all right. Because you. You want me to Pearl Gym Now, I know the line is I stepped over and I apologize. Okay, you know what? I'm a man. I'll accept the apology. And I didn't really mean that because I had it in my back pocket in case you attacked me again. Okay. Sorry. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He jumped the gun. He just jumped the gun. We're back.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're back. I love you, Lou. We're back. Go ahead. Go back to your songs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm free, man. Fair Avery would be a good person to put through the gauntlet, but no one knows what the Gauntlet is yet. Till tomorrow.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is it? I'm nervous. Why am I nervous?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When we put her through the Gauntlet? No, you know, the dance.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I thought our guest. A gauntlet was a thing that you do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm not gonna make her poop on you, Bobby. Is that what you're worried about?

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought that was another term for gauntlet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think I was gonna have her poop on? I'm not gonna poop on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm. I'm a little.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm nervous. I want to ask her about the poop video. Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to. You have to. You have to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm going to, but like into it a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you want me to. Do I? Do I. How do I. I don't know how to play this. I back you up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was on MTV2's team. I wish Christine would have put the things up.

[Bobby Kelly]

God, she has the stupid chips.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pictures of chips up there. I have no idea. Fair Abraham's goddamn thing. Ah. Okay, okay. All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where we at?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fair? She's gonna be making her stand up comedy debut. Okay, great. It's called Diary of a Teen mom debut. It's a piece. It's a full piece.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought it was diarrhea from a teen mom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's because you can't read.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't read.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But she did poop. Don't. Don't say out of the gates, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can fart all you want in front of her. She's not gonna mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She doesn't care, though. She's like, why you should. Man, you should be bottling that. The Spearmint Rhino, New York City tomorrow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's gonna do stand up comedy. Comedy debut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good, good, good. This is the first time ever it's a whole show that never goes good. I've never seen. Hey.

[Farrah Abraham]

So nervous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never seen you so me. You look flustered.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no. I'm just going through the things the facts give, Bobby. No, no. I'M it's her first stand up comedy debut, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

First stand up comedy's tough.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It has a tie. It has a.

[Bobby Kelly]

We can talk about my first. Our first stand up things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We should.

[Bobby Kelly]

How you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fun. Hello.

[Bobby Kelly]

How are you? Come on over here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? That's a way. That's a funny way to say it. Get over here.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got you. I got you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joining the show MTV's Team Mom. I mean, an MTV legend. At this point, everybody should be. Making her comedy debut with her new show Diary of a Teen mom, debuting at the Spearmint Rhino in New York City. 10pm Tomorrow night, March 13th. Get tickets at the Spearmint Rhino nyc.com Fair everybody. It is Farah Abraham.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was gonna say we're nervous. I'm sorry, did it come out?

[Farrah Abraham]

What you nervous for?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Farrah Abraham]

Over here. Thank you guys for having me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you for coming on. You. Are you nervous about doing your first. Is this your first time doing stand up ever?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. So, yeah, you're just going up, first time doing a whole show.

[Farrah Abraham]

I think it's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, weren't you batting around doing this for a bit? I believe you were, Farrow. We met briefly. And you met too, Christine, didn't you? You were working on David Tells Comedy Underground. You were one of the celebrity people in the audience when Dave had the. Remember that? When he was like, I did it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did we do it the same night? Maybe we did it the same night. Yeah, that was great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't remember because we're all egomaniacs and we just remember what I did. I remember I was great that night. I think you were there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, I remember I was great. I mean, I killed it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did kill it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I called Dave. I said he looked like. He dresses like he's a locksmith.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a big laugh. Big, big laugh.

[Farrah Abraham]

He kind of. I think he always says he's Syrian. He's Jewish. And I'm like, dave Attell could play my father and like, my remake of my life. So I might cast him for that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That really hurts his feelings about when he hears it, though.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can play my great, great grandfather.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. My dad. My Syrian dad. I do call him my comedy Zaddy, though, from that experience on the Comedy Underground because, like, I didn't know what SAG was. I didn't know what, like, continuous paychecks look like because, you know, neither do we. Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, I got fired from Teen mom and then I just started receiving these Checks. And you know the best kind of zaddy? They just send money and they don't talk.

[Bobby Kelly]

The saddest part about the checks, though, is as the year goes by, they still come, but they get so much smaller. I just got one for 17 cents from law and Order and it made me sad.

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, my God, I'm never going to do Law and Order then.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know that. Don't say that. Why wouldn't you?

[Farrah Abraham]

17 cents? That doesn't even pay for my milk.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's the later they go down. I got paid more than that. I got SAG minimum, by the way.

[Farrah Abraham]

Okay, good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, you really feel you. You ruined it there. Your chances were there by telling us. I get 17 cent checks coming in constantly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Honestly, do you think she walked in and I had a chance?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah, I think for a minute when you walked in, she was all about you.

[Bobby Kelly]

She saw me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was your game to lose, and then you lost.

[Bobby Kelly]

She saw me with dirty golf pants and a hoodie.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. And don't dress up. I want to see how you really are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where are you from?

[Farrah Abraham]

Iowa.

[Bobby Kelly]

Iowa. No. Sh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice. Slipknot. Slipknot deal.

[Farrah Abraham]

Me and Sophia, my daughter, we love to go to their concerts. I have the best time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really? Yeah, they do their big knot fest, their big festival there. That's interest. I wouldn't have taken you for a heavy metal person at all.

[Farrah Abraham]

I. Yeah, I've been in it. I've been in it. My daughter loves it. She's goth and I'm just. I love it. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So funny. It's back now. My daughter's sort of goth too. Yeah, she's 22. My. How old your kid?

[Farrah Abraham]

16.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

16.

[Farrah Abraham]

She's like, literally wrapping her truck in like, bats. Like, black. It's gonna be all black with like bats on it and like a goth license plate thing. Yeah, she is totally into that. So it's like not a. Like a fad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How does she. At 60, how at 16, does she like. Like you being from the MTV shows and stuff, does she love that? Do you think it's cool?

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, she. She's the reason why I was on there. I always say, like, I always thank her for making me famous and doing this ride with me. So. Yeah, I don't know. We. We don't really, like, talk about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, it's making me nervous that you're not nervous about tomorrow night. As a 30 year veteran. He's 25 years in. Stand up. This is our bread and butter is stand up comedy. And you're going up tomorrow night doing a whole show. And you aren't nervous at all?

[Farrah Abraham]

No. And my old bosses and producers keep adding themselves to the guest list, and that's more concerning than being nervous about anything else. I'm like, are they trying to shoot me for, like, the Teen mom show and then not pay me and then stop by my comedy show? I just said, do we have cell phone lockers? Because for a celebrity fight, they, like, went around me. I was trying to, like, record me. I flew to the Maldives. I was like, haha.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't know what you just said.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, can you not hear?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no. He just. He doesn't. He never heard those words before.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a boomer. I don. What the. That means. I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, how long are you doing of a show?

[Farrah Abraham]

So it's only 30 minutes. It's not even that long, guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not bad.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, it's not even that long.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I hear your. One of your jokes or is that you don't want to do it?

[Farrah Abraham]

Because we could.

[Bobby Kelly]

We could help. We could. If there's something you need.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's workshop this.

[Farrah Abraham]

Okay, so let's workshop this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's do it.

[Farrah Abraham]

Something that I noticed today on different news segments, like, anchors were like, oh, Farrah, you need to work on your timing because you really had a hard time with your parenting because you were 16. And I'm like, I don't regret being 16. I got energy to go do like, a comedy tour. Like, I'm straight, I'm good. I don't, like, I love my daughter. And I think, like, that's the weird, jokey, like, story vibe of like, hey, I'm not trying to talk, but you guys talk to me a lot. And I have adhd, so I'm just like, I must have time blindness. I don't care if I was really, like, 16 and pregnant. Maybe I'm just blind to the time, though. So I've been trying to, like, not sound like a bitch in my edits and keep cutting things.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like it. What do you got, Jay? What do you got?

[Farrah Abraham]

Was anyone here a teen parent? I should even ask?

[Bobby Kelly]

My mother was a teen. She had my sister when she was 15.

[Farrah Abraham]

Okay. Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

She had my, My, My me when she was 18.

[Farrah Abraham]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

This was back in the day where you had to go away. Like, you couldn't. They. They shipped you to a. Like a. You got exiled. You had to go to, like, a hot, like a hospital, stay there, and then she had to go move back in with my grandmother. With my sister.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now you can be a teen mom and, and do. And be on tv.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

How cool is that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's not a teen mom anymore. Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

She's not a teen mom now, but she, she, she was when she got a. That's my point.

[Farrah Abraham]

It's like. Well, that's the thing. Like, I've been dating guys and they're all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. Did you think I thought she was a teen mom now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, that's on you.

[Farrah Abraham]

I'm out of 16. Okay. I'm out of that one. Yeah. So I've been dating some guys who are like older parents. Like young kids. Right. Like four and five. And I don't really think that they get it, like from coming. Being a teen mom and like, I'm an empty nester now. They've just started being parents.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's so much better.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, it's so much better. I actually think, like, the guys get envious of me and then they like, we get in this, like. I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Here it is right here. I had a kid when I was a kid. Now I get to enjoy my, my twenties.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. And my daughter also gets like, free learning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I will say pretty good.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought that was pretty good. I get, I get to go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I get facts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Farrah Abraham]

I like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, facts and comedy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Facts are funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But there is something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Facts are funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. I said that's my thing too.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yes. Facts are funny. I'm not going to be like, Howie Mandel was like, farrah. Two guys walk in a bar and I'm just like, probably not that. I'm like, no, I really like was at the Peninsula Bar and then like a billionaire came and forced himself to sit down with me. And then we ended up at the gentleman's club and I was dancing. Like, I just am like, I have real stories.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Farrah Abraham]

I don't need.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How does that one end?

[Farrah Abraham]

I got booked at the comedy club where I randomly brought their biggest spender in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice. A billionaire.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. Really paid off for them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right. Sounds like it.

[Farrah Abraham]

Do you what my shout out to Spearmint Rhino.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had my, My daughter was born when I was 20. 24, I guess, or just turning 24. And she so said now she's 22.

[Farrah Abraham]

22.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So it's. I do like that. I did that young. So now at 47, which is an old, old, like, like, you know, I could do things with her. I could do things with her. You know, she's an adult now. You Know, it's like fun to kind of do those things. But would you. I make my daughter's 22, so in.

[Farrah Abraham]

Two years, that's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In two years though, I'd even be worried. Would you worry your daughter now being 16, would you freak out if she got pregnant in the situation? No, not at all.

[Farrah Abraham]

I actually am never even concerned about my child.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you see that? Do you see now being her mother?

[Farrah Abraham]

I think I say that in a good way, not a shitty way.

[Bobby Kelly]

It sounded like, I don't even think about this little shit. You know what's weird is I had my kid at 42, so it is different. I'm gonna have like six good years with her and then I'm gonna be gone. You can use that.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, I mean, I like it like how you say it. You're just like, yeah, this is great. Like this is what it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you don't care, like, that's a good question. Like if your daughter got pregnant next year or something like that. You really can't, you have, you can't say anything because you did it and you have a good daughter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you can still say it, but I'm on. My question's more saying, do you now see, like, it's funny when you're in it, when you're those ages, it seems like when you were 16 and pregnant, you were like, yeah, I got this, I, blah, blah.

[Farrah Abraham]

But you see, I never had it to myself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't feel like that. But I'm saying, but the Idea that like 16 now when you're not 16, doesn't it seem so young? Like I feel that way when I see 20 year old kids now or somewhere. They're like college age. You can do so many things. You're legal in every possible way. 21, but it's still like when you meet them, you're like, oh, that's a kid. Still a kid. It's very interesting.

[Farrah Abraham]

I had like a full circle event during winter and then I started ketamine. That's because of this. I think it was. I'm actually enraged to think how my parents allowed me to be what they put me around at 16. Yeah. I looked at my daughter and I was like, I would never put my daughter around that or have her even think these thoughts and like be so disconnected from me. Like I was with my family and I think I was just like, I know why my daughter doesn't like me talking to my mom and my dad now. And yeah, I feel like I've been way too nice But I also was, like, a different situation. It's like I was forced to be around toxicity longer than my soul could stand. And I think, like, when people are like, oh, my God, you're famous and you're teen mom, it's like, yeah, but then there's, like, the real you that needs to get out of, like, a psychedelic parenting simulation and, like, go be a real parent and, like, go really do this. And that's what I focused on. I think, like, being young and trying to find yourself and do, like, personal work actually benefited my daughter because she's seen me do the personal work. She got the benefit of it, and I don't have to worry. And that's why I'm saying, like, she's the least of any of my worries. She is so much wisdom, so fun. We just got back from, like, Germany and London for her sweet 16, and she has it all. I'm. You know, I. I really wish that I had a parent like myself. Like, she got.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's good that you got that. I'm sorry. I was a little distracted because Jacob was typing on his computer and it sounded like chipmunks fucking digging through the floor.

[Farrah Abraham]

I love chipmunks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, you had me. What a beautiful moment. I was really into it. And then I hear Mark this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Flip your computer. Let me see what you typed. Flip it now.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you type?

[Farrah Abraham]

He's looking at porn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's email. He's emailing his father. Pop. Look at the cans on this one, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You fucking. Please.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shit.

[Farrah Abraham]

You know, there's been a lot of people FaceTiming their dads with me today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you got another one. Sorry about that.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, one of my publicists of, like, 17 years, she's like, my dad's going to be pissed if we don't FaceTime him. And it's, like, crazy. It's like the people I have known for 17 years are, like, acting like they're remedying me. And it's true. I've been tidied up in my own world for, like, five. Five years. Just being an online mom. I just don't really like to go out anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

How did you make money being home?

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, my God. How do you make money being home, guys?

[Bobby Kelly]

I. Oh, well, I actually make earrings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pornography, Robert. Pornography.

[Bobby Kelly]

I make. I make Indian earrings for Native American Indian.

[Farrah Abraham]

You got an Etsy shop?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I don't. I was just joking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, went over too good. Can I be honest? I would love to make an Etsy shop. That's my dream yeah, we'll see.

[Farrah Abraham]

How much money you get.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not a lot.

[Farrah Abraham]

We'll have a race.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you. Can I ask you that question with.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you. Did you. I'm sorry, I'm not familiar. I'm just trying to get familiar.

[Farrah Abraham]

What are these cigars?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, those are my. Those go. My. Those are suppositories. These I have. I'm. I'm backed up.

[Farrah Abraham]

Is this how you get through parenting right here? What is this?

[Bobby Kelly]

This is actually my new dildo line I'm putting on. It's my replicated penis that I'm putting on Etsy.

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, that's.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's all I can handle. What a pussy.

[Farrah Abraham]

A little stimulation. No, thank you, Farrah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you.

[Farrah Abraham]

But thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you had to have, like, what age do you have? Or did you have the conversation with your daughter about doing, like, adult work and stuff? Or did you have to at all? Or has it come up?

[Farrah Abraham]

So that's when I took her out of public school. She was five years old. And I don't know. I. I don't know. It was like, why are 5 year olds coming to public school talking about my sex life to my daughter. Jesus. Yeah. And I have to say that is totally fine. I actually think, like, it was okay. Like F5. I was like, that is not age appropriate. This is one that's age appropriate. And yeah. So she knew, like, this is so disturbing. And these, like, weird little boys. And like, it was just like, I didn't even know what to do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was weirded out that they knew.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. I was like, okay. I know. I took over this whole community of, like, couples and their brains, but for it to go all the way down to five year olds. Yeah. So I got out of the suburbs by suburbs. It was not going to happen anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

We believe it's El burro, not jackass elbow. You're being a real Elboro.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you do home school or just different, like private school?

[Farrah Abraham]

I mean, we tried private school. Again, I didn't really agree with, like, let's just focus on putting all your eggs into, like having a boyfriend and not developing yourself. And I think I just taught my daughter, like, self worth, value, self esteem, all the things that I didn't have. And so, yeah, she. We decided on homeschooling and public school.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you, for, like, when you show up, you probably remember this. If you go up to first day or, you know, class, you gotta go, I'll go there. And if she walked up, every dude there would be like, who the fuck is that? Mom?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because most moms look like me in a wig. You know what I mean? And if you walked in and be like, what the fuck?

[Farrah Abraham]

And you have to keep in mind, my daughter owned her own children's boutique in the neighborhood. I had a frozen yogurt store. And then we had like a furniture store in the same neighborhood as the school system. So. And being on tv, just taking over, I was sponsoring football teams, cheer teams, whatever, hiring high schoolers. I was like, God to the kids in my child's class and other classes when I was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It had nothing to do with those other things, though.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, she was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's really wonderful in the community also. I'm at her tit level height, so that's pretty exciting. Also.

[Farrah Abraham]

I have no idea. But there. It was a lot of ruckus when I would go into a public elementary school.

[Bobby Kelly]

No idea. You have no idea. I mean, there was a lot of ruckus when you walked into this room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Same ruckus.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's almost. I had a worry that lady we used to follow, this lady, Mrs. Poindexter. Is that what she was called?

[Farrah Abraham]

Mrs. Poindexter?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She had a. We followed her from the story that came out. I guess it made national news to a degree. Her kids were kicked out of public school, kicked out private school because she was doing onlyfans stuff. And it was interesting. But I think that trickle down comes from the issue of the person who can't find out in the neighborhood. It's probably good for the performer, but not good for your living situation is when the husbands find out, when the wives find Out. The husbands are stoked. Looking at naked pictures of another kid's mom. That's when I feel like the shit's gonna stir up. It's the women start getting pissed off.

[Bobby Kelly]

The kids are always listening too. I'm sure the kids didn't look you up. I'm sure it was the dumb dad or it had to be talking to the mom. Did you see the. And they. They figured it out from there.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. I do blame the stay at home moms in the suburbs. Like, the craziness. Like a mom taking my joke on my O app, which, unconsensually, about me putting poop in jars. And then I started selling poop slime, and then it sold out.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

You gotta stop. You gotta bring me up to speed. I need a little context.

[Farrah Abraham]

These stay at home moms.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, I got. I got that part. I got that part. I got that. I'm talking about there's a thing. There's a thing between poop. Poop, poop stuff. What is it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Poop slime.

[Bobby Kelly]

Poop slime. What is poop slime?

[Farrah Abraham]

So it's just like putty that looks like poop. And then we, like, made the poop emoji on it, and then we put my favorite face on it, and then we sell it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, so it's not real poop?

[Farrah Abraham]

No, please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The video of you pooping is not a real video.

[Farrah Abraham]

I didn't poop. And, like, what? It's a jar. I'm fully clothed, and it's just me, like, talking. It's like a pure joke. So my other friend, she was selling her farts. I was like, I'm gonna take this up a notch.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it. I should do that.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. And so I did. But, like, I didn't do anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was shamed out of my farts in the studio. I'll tell you what. From that man right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, start jarring them.

[Bobby Kelly]

And that man right there shamed me out of my toots.

[Farrah Abraham]

What's an Etsy shop for you, though, Toots Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, Kelly's Toots for St. Patty's Day.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yes. We're gonna make you a millionaire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Smells like a pot roast dinner.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought there. I saw a video. I thought of you pooping. It's one of my favorite videos on the Internet.

[Farrah Abraham]

I will say me farting on my of does make a lot of money. I have no idea why.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you why.

[Farrah Abraham]

It's like the weirdest Thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

But it smells like ladybugs and flowers.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, even my pits smell good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me smell.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, but I'll tell you exactly why it is. I'll tell you exactly why it is. It's hot chick doing gross. Hot chick doing gross stuff. People like the juxtaposition of that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know what that is. What is that? That's not deodorant. That's some mixture of witch oils and something. What is that? You make that Some mixture of.

[Farrah Abraham]

Drive you crazy sexy. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, you gotta smell her pit.

[Farrah Abraham]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please. You were lucky, buddy.

[Farrah Abraham]

You got that for free.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not deodorant, though. That's deodorant and something else. Right? That was so good.

[Farrah Abraham]

Tell your wife. Tell your baby mama.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's fantastic. I have one of those.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay, come smell this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have one of those. I have one of those stay at home moms that fucking would rat you out.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, dawn would be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dawn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dawn would love her.

[Farrah Abraham]

Then. Don't tease me. I might just show up, make an affair all on your wedding photos.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, you wouldn't. You saw my wedding. I look like Don Ho. We got married in Maui. Looks like this hot chick with a fat Hawaiian.

[Farrah Abraham]

I love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would. No, dawn would love her. Dawn would love her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Don would get her. Because Don. Don doesn't make friends with these people either. We've been in two suburbs in the last. In the last 13 years, 11 years, 12 years. She's never really made a friend. Because she doesn't like those. Because they're always gossipy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're trying to make. You're trying to make weird inroads here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've seen this happen before.

[Bobby Kelly]

You better not. You better back up and be my wingman right now. You fucking suck up. Back off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've seen this go bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not gonna go bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I tell you?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me let it go bad. You kiss.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me tell you something. Jelly let this happen.

[Bobby Kelly]

J.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I was told that Jelly Roll and his. And his. Bunny, his very lovely.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're friends with Shane. I want to be friends with her. Okay. Let it go down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Former former Las Vegas prostitute.

[Farrah Abraham]

I was on Bunny's podcast.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Bunny. And when they said. When they tried to say that. Oh, yeah, Jelly Roll and Burt Kreisch are best friends. And Leanne and Bunny are best friends. Like, no way. Leanne and Bunny are best friends. That's true, Mother. There's just not. They're no way. Their best friends. They just don't do the same things.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why don't you let the universe do its job?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're right. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You and dawn would love each other.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're not God. Back off. I'll give you a number.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the problem. Here's the problem.

[Farrah Abraham]

You run to like. So I know what is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now you brought up Bert's wife. She wants to be friends with her.

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, are they in Austin? I saw them on Austin Texas magazine recently.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're in L. A. Bertley, and they're.

[Farrah Abraham]

Trying to take over Austin. That's my city.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you live in Austin?

[Farrah Abraham]

I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why did you think she pooped?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I saw a video, I swear. And this is somebody else of you pooping standing up. It was oh, well, awesome.

[Farrah Abraham]

Okay. I'm talking about the one of joking that I sell my poop. He's talking about like leaked scat shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Farrah Abraham]

And you are in trouble. You should be like, I'm gonna report this. This is non consensual. I feel like the Internet is very rapey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I promise you I will report it every time I see it.

[Farrah Abraham]

Thank you. Watch that and report that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll find all of them and get rid of them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you. He's gonna have. Sir, he's gonna have to job just to be a reporter on your.

[Farrah Abraham]

You know, I have like an AI Thing that actually tracks people all the time, stealing and doing stuff. And they've taken down over 200,000 like, God damn, like raping behaviors on the Internet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, so you. So you did poop on a private thing for somebody? Private.

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, if you know the history of. Of it used to be allowed. Then I started doing it went mainstream. Then they had to cancel that because it was blocking their pay. Their Visa like cards and stuff. So pay. And everything changed. It is crazy because I there for five years and everything just has changed from like big celebrity and things getting out.

[Bobby Kelly]

So somebody would say, shit, I was real shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm fucking pissed. Fuck that. You should be able to poop on camera if you want to as a consenting adult.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I could call. I could go on and be like, yo, can you just poop for me?

[Farrah Abraham]

And I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. But I would pay you. This is scenario. Oh, right. This is what would happen. I'm gonna give you $5,000 to poop. And you'd be like, all right, cool. Like, you negotiate and then you poop and that's it. But that was for that person, right? Is that what I'm getting. And then it got leaked.

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, yeah, then they would. They would be like, I paid so much for this. And then they would.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why can't he get. Why can't the person who bought it?

[Farrah Abraham]

Boys, I think those guys were like, oh, my God, how do I recoup these thousands of dollars? I'm gonna just distribute it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But that's what. But how do they not get in trouble if you. You don't know who you sent it? If you know who you sent it.

[Farrah Abraham]

To, they only just take it down. A DMCA take down. If. So that's it. And then I write in. I. My legal team also collects money from people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you have to have a lawyer call. You don't want to make that phone call yourself. There's a video of me I'd, like, taken down. Like, why? How do I explain this?

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, like, I can get it taken down. I. We just. My lawyer's down to just go make money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I. I've only seen.

[Farrah Abraham]

He's like, cool. They. They wanted to still her shit, literally, again. So we're going to go get money.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you get money from stolen shit? No pun intended.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, you should. You can go to jail. Either way, you should get money because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I will say the video has brought me a lot of happiness now.

[Farrah Abraham]

Not, you know, it's really crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not sexual.

[Farrah Abraham]

Understand?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no.

[Farrah Abraham]

I feel like it's like, what is that movie? Not another teenage movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Farrah Abraham]

And like, yeah, there's shit scenes in there. There's like nude foreign girls. I feel like my life has kind of turned into that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's. I'm telling you what it is. It's not. It's not pornographic in the jerking off kind of sexual way. It's exactly. It's. You're a pretty girl. You're from something that's not like adult films at all. You're from a mainstream world. And then pooping. And then also. Can I just say this? And this is the compliment I want to pay you.

[Farrah Abraham]

Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Since the day I saw this, you're paying me. This is great. This is a. This is a compliment. It's going to be good. It looked like the most satisfying thing that's ever happened in someone's life. First of all, I don't know where you put it all, but when it came out, it was amazing. When it was done, it wasn't sexual. I was just like, God, I wish I could shit like that. That looked like it was phenomenal.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you shit like a dog? Because you just pinched it Off. You didn't have to wipe anything.

[Farrah Abraham]

If I think it's what it is, I just feel like. Well, I shouldn't even talk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I say it's two full, connected feet, no breaks.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Impressive. Healthy.

[Farrah Abraham]

Healthy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Healthy like a torpedo.

[Farrah Abraham]

Like you would be impressed. I don't know why. I don't know if you guys have friends like this, but my girlfriends and I like when we have a healthy movement.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Farrah Abraham]

We were like, oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This was like, come look at this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I ask you a question, though?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Check this out.

[Farrah Abraham]

And I have to say, my cats, my dogs, Every time I'm on the toilet. No, they come over and they like to look around the toilet seat. I'm like, my animals are impressed. They want me to look at their poop, and they want to listen to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

You and my son have big, big shits.

[Farrah Abraham]

Well, no. So guys like to have you eat certain things, and then that will. I'm really usually like a little rabbit. Like a little goat, you know? But that one was different.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I ask you a question?

[Farrah Abraham]

You gotta share it. Not really.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not. Not as a. As a novice, because I don't. I'm not in. I don't. I. I throw up. I don't like poop at all, but.

[Farrah Abraham]

I'm kind of the same.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where does.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In the room. In the room with it.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is horrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

But if I.

[Farrah Abraham]

You're like, I'm stuck with my.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just.

[Farrah Abraham]

Puke while you're. Because, God, your poor wife.

[Bobby Kelly]

As soon as you. As soon as you. You can smell it. Where did you put the, Like. What did you have, like, a setup to. Oh, I'm right in here.

[Farrah Abraham]

I thought I went right in the toilet. And what we're talking about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, so the toilet. Oh, so you're shooting into the toilet. So it's going in the water. So you were prepared. Okay, great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That makes.

[Farrah Abraham]

There have been other situations where. Yeah, I was vomiting and I was like, the people who wanted me to do it out of that toilet receptacle. It almost reminded me of, like, a porter potty situation. I'm like, do these people like porter potties? Like, I just. I am so weird about, like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, me too.

[Farrah Abraham]

I'm clean. I've had to clean up a lot of being a mom, and I need a break.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Poop makes me. I throw up. It's like watching old people eat. I'll throw up.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't do it. I'll.

[Farrah Abraham]

But again, I think if it's like an impressive thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was impressive.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'M gonna share it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My.

[Bobby Kelly]

My son tonight. I'm gonna show him. I mean, my wife. I'm sorry. I think my son showed me. Dad, check this out.

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, yeah. It might be a family home video.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Me and Christine have watched it together. It's fantastic. It's really.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're saying it's impressive.

[Farrah Abraham]

It was, like, a real thing, or if it was like, the two.

[Bobby Kelly]

You hear the two girls, one cup.

[Farrah Abraham]

Like, put stuff up there, and you're.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, is this real?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kurt Metzger's joke about that is so great. He goes. He goes. He found out the two girls, one cup was fake. Like, they preloaded it.

[Farrah Abraham]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Still.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, it's like it was some other kind of thing. They preload, but.

[Bobby Kelly]

But it's coming out of their.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure. Yes. But whatever.

[Farrah Abraham]

I don't know. I get pukey on that.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you stuck chocolate up your. And then it's still up your. Yeah.

[Farrah Abraham]

And I have done that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Technically a version of you. Wait a minute. You stuck chocolate bars up your. Chocolate syrup in your.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you getting mad at me? Piece of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stay here.

[Farrah Abraham]

Look, I'm a problem solver. You want to hear this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Farrah Abraham]

I'm a problem solver. So, like, when banned, just regular nature. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna put something sweet up there. It's gonna look just the same. And I posted the chocolate syrup. They banned that immediately. And then they banned. Anything that is not a sexual item or toy is not allowed on the entire platform now. So I literally have to go get, like. I don't know. There's, like, creatures now, like, dildos that are like dinosaurs. Like, you can shove a dinosaur up anywhere, but you can't just, like, have syrup.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Apologies, apologies. I'd like to point out that I'd just like to ask why, when you said this, Black Lew started nodding his head like you were talking about changing laws. You were like, you're like the half now monster and dinosaur dildos. And he was like, yeah, sure do. Are you in a market? Is this what your Etsy job is? Are you making dinosaur dildos? No, I just recently found that on the Internet. Basically, a girl that, like, holds them in there. There's really big ones, long ones, like octopus tentacles.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, the octopussy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the tentacles.

[Farrah Abraham]

Tentacles.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get a chocolate chocolate bar dildo, and that will. That will go up there, and it will melt and make, you know, make it chocolatey.

[Farrah Abraham]

I used to have so much more fun and, like, in my private life of sexualness, I was like, dude, I used to have, like, hot dogs, bread. Like, I used to do all sorts of crazy shit. And then you're like, oh, my God. It's against policies, the law. It's just like, you should have taken.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This all the way to the Supreme Court.

[Farrah Abraham]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd like to see they're fighting for shit porn. For shit porn. If I can't shit, what's next? This guy can't shit. And then your kids aren't shitting before you know, we're all constipated. We're a nation of constipated people. I wish you could do that. I wonder, you worked with James Dean in films before. Is he. He's like contra. Like, I know.

[Farrah Abraham]

Like, he is a woman abuser.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he?

[Farrah Abraham]

And that's what that time in my life was, man. Guys, I don't know what you were looking at in my sex tape, but it was a really sad version of Farah. This era of Farah is like way happy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's. I didn't realize that you kind of like turned around from that time. Really?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. Suicidal. Had a chin implant. I wanted. I had face dysmorphia at the time. And I think like, when your self esteem is so low, you will call a porn star and you'll be like, I want to a porn star. So watch out for that, everyone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, yeah, I do know another girl, so that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've been there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know a girl who got caught by the.

[Farrah Abraham]

Sometimes you just want love so much. It can be abusive too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Sometimes you go the other way and marry a chick who doesn't want anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So that guy's awful.

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, that's nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, so that guy's terrible, dude. And he's kind of out of porn, I think now. Yeah, I just remember because the name.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, but James Dean, he like, killed his. One of his girlfriends.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, he was also like. Honestly, probably not straight. I don't know. There was a lot of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you not get along with him in the moment or you didn't realize how bad?

[Farrah Abraham]

I actually didn't realize. And I also didn't realize, like, the manager that I had at the time was in this whole adult entertainment world, but she was a failed porn star. And still to this day, like, celebrity industry allows this horrible woman who tries to latch on like celebrities and tries to like, ruin their careers. And so that's where like this whole thing of Farah's a porn star. So now I just say I am whatever you guys think I am, but I Know who I am, I am that I am. But yeah, that was a. Interesting time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is funky. Because it's funny, when I went to the. I do a podcast that went to the AVN Awards one time.

[Farrah Abraham]

AVN Shout Out. I have three awards. Didn't even try.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's like, I love. She gave us. She's giving this emotional speech about not being a porn star. AVN Shout out, three awards.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Didn't even try, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Didn't even try.

[Farrah Abraham]

Isn't my life ironic?

[Bobby Kelly]

That was crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not even going for a call me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whatever you want list of foreigners that have accused him of sexual assault is pretty Jesus.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. And if you'd like to see, also, like, I just turned in a rapist for like 16 other women. You know, I think like, what I learned about my life and looking back at it in a light, happy way, I don't, you know, if you want to do porn, that's awesome. I'm gonna go see Alexis Texas tonight and we're going to do a porn star podcast. Okay. I got no problem with whatever you want to do, but I don't like when people pressure change me, push themselves on me. And. Yeah, I wasn't in the right state of mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was going to say you were talked into it. You feel all that?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, I mean, I know who I. I know who I am today and I know who I don't work with. And it's just, it was. It's like really odd how much therapy I've gone through. And again, I know you said like looking at her kids at 16 and what they went through, I'm also looking at myself like at 20 and 21, when this happened, where I was and it was really sickening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were 21 of those videos.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. Or 20 or something. So. Yeah, I know I wasn't in the right place. I. I had, you know, all these mommy issues and like, maybe some of us do. And yeah, I needed serious mental help and I'm so grateful that I got that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, the fact now you can kind of control your own destiny with like OnlyFans. I know there's actually people try to come mosey on that too. And there's like people who say they're like managers of only fans and stuff, but you can kind of control all that yourself.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, you gotta really watch out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the fact you can't do it yourself is great because that industry. I said the podcast I used to do, interviewing a lot of the performers and stuff, like, it's. No one's out Unscathed at all. Like, no, it's all. And by the way, so many of the girls are like, it's naked and.

[Farrah Abraham]

Afraid, but they're not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But they're not going. They're not going to the AVNs. And it's like, why? It's like, because the people who were the shittiest in the world to me, in my life are somehow still there and like, still making videos and movies and directors and stuff. So it's like, it's a funky world.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It warps the girls as much as I think the guys get warped too. They don't see Ron Jeremy's behavior publicly was batshit. Might see that guy just like, living life and like, you know, like, a girl would come over with her husband and be like, oh my God, it's Ron Jeremy. He just like squeeze her tit, like. And he's like, I think this is what the world wants me to do. And you're like, whoa, bro.

[Farrah Abraham]

A lot of people were doing that back in the day, though. I wasn't down for that. I just think. I don't even know actresses, comedians. I saw like a lot of my friends when we were younger who are celebrities, and they were just like allowing like the grab and the like, right on recording for everyone to rewatch. So I don't know, weird times. But.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but it's funny that you, you seem right now, you got your together, you got a plan, you're doing your stuff and you don't. You seem, you know, you got a, a kid. I mean, everything seems you went through it and you, you seem to have gotten through it and out the other side.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, I scanned my brain, went to a trauma center for 28 days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you got. Don't worry, the show is sponsored by betterhelp. Betterhelp.com. yeah. And use coworker bonfire for discount bonfire.

[Farrah Abraham]

Oh, is it your diary of a Teen Mom?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this gonna be. Is this a one off thing you're doing? Are you gonna start hitting like the clubs and trying to like, work out like comedy officially?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. So I literally, I mean, we have like comedy tour agents coming tomorrow night. We. We have a lot of people, so if I mess up, that's gonna be hilarious. So, yeah, 200. I want to do like a 200 stop, like tour.

[Bobby Kelly]

200 cities.

[Farrah Abraham]

200 stops. I could do a multiple in a couple of cities, but yeah, I just.

[Bobby Kelly]

Two openers. We feature for each other.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah. I don't even know what's another.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you want, we could boot Paco and you could host for us in Niagara Falls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God, that'd be great.

[Farrah Abraham]

By the way, I love Niagara Falls. It's like I've already toured to every city from everything else, so I love everything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why don't you come up and you can do 10 minutes up there. We're gonna have hair dryer salmon after the show.

[Farrah Abraham]

Hairdryer salmon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not a code for. That's not a code for anything, by the way.

[Farrah Abraham]

It's salmon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's salmon made with a hairdryer heat that Bobby made in his thing.

[Farrah Abraham]

You like a raw.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You thought it was a code.

[Bobby Kelly]

So are you gonna have anybody open for you?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah, there is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wasn't Tracy. Is Tracy Canazo doing it?

[Farrah Abraham]

Yes, Tracy is. And by the way, she does do like teen mom trash talk. So I'm really not scared of anyone who, if you have anything to say, you go right up and say it before I get on stage. So it's going to be a funny dynamic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's going to be good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tracy's great, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Spearman Rhino in New York city. Tomorrow night, 10pm you're hanging all night afterwards. You're going to meet people and stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Farrah Abraham]

Laughs and laugh. Dances.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice. And lap dances. Dope.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is there a price that you would shit on someone's lap? Just say, is there a price? Maybe it's 10 grand.

[Farrah Abraham]

Okay, well, bring those stacks. 10 grand, guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go tomorrow and keep throwing money. Maybe she'll shit, maybe she won't. But you'll definitely. But you'll say you tried and that's what's important.

[Farrah Abraham]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Farah is so great to meet you. Thank you so much. The spearmint rhino nyc.com Farah for tickets, go see her tomorrow. It's the debut stand up show at the old Spearmint Rhino. At a strip club club. I've done comedy strip clubs, plenty.

[Bobby Kelly]

And make sure you go check out Big J's new special right now them. It's on YouTube.com bigjogrson it is probably the best special that has come out this year. It is up there. Everybody's loving it. You go, love it. And if you saw it, love it again. I want you to subscribe to the page, comment, share it, make clips of it, put it on your own page, get it out there.

[Farrah Abraham]

I'm taking all your clips, Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Take them all, take them all. And then. And make sure you come see us. Niagara Falls, Siennica Casino. Niagara Falls. We're gonna have a blast. I'm gonna be this weekend where am I? Jay, you want to read it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You're gonna be in Seattle Laughs Comedy club. That's this Friday and Saturday. And then of course, we're gonna be up in Niagara Falls next weekend. After that, Tampa Bay, Austin, Texas on the horizon. And you can catch Bobby every Tuesday, 7pm to Fat Black Puts Cat Lounge the comedy seller. For tickets and tour dates, punch up.live Robert Kelly. And of course, check out his YouTube YouTube.combert Kelly comedy. And we'll catch you guys. Is that a wrap? That's a wrap.

[Bobby Kelly]

We gotta go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Catch you guys next week, everybody. Enjoy the pre record tomorrow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thanks for coming in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you, Farrah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice shot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, thanks. Seeing a kidney coach from Frenas Kidney Care has been a game changer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Smart moves.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With their help, I feel better and have more energy so I can keep giving you a run on the court. Learn how to take control of your kidney health with Fresenius kidney care. Visit kidneycoachconnect.com to learn more. That's kidneycoachconnect.com.

[Bobby Kelly]

To all the HBCU students making moves. Listen up. For over 20 years, McDonald's has been at the side of college hopefuls. With over a million in funding this year, through the Black and Positively Golden Scholarship, Mickey D's is helping HBCU students rise and flourish into their graduating roles this scholarship season. Get ready to take your place when you apply for a McDonald's Black and Positively Golden Scholarship. Visit mcdblackscholars.com to apply now. Applications close on April 25, 2025.