Reasons, Man with Paul Virzi

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly Episode: Reasons, Man with Paul Virzi Release Date: November 21, 2024

Hosted by Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, "The Bonfire" episode featuring Paul Virzi delves into a blend of comedy promotion, nostalgic reminiscences, and lighthearted banter. The hosts engage in candid discussions ranging from the intricacies of launching a comedy special to fond memories of '90s culture.

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1. Introduction and Promotion of Paul Virzi's Comedy Special

[01:30]
The episode kicks off with the introduction of guest Paul Virzi, who is promoting his new comedy special titled "Reasons Man." Big Jay and Robert humorously navigate the nuances of effective promotion, attempting to seamlessly integrate Paul's special into their conversation.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson: "That's not what it was for, Lou." [02:00]

2. Navigating Promotional Mishaps and the "Pivot" System

As the hosts promote Paul's special, they encounter a humorous mix-up involving the title "Reasons Man" vs. "Reasonable Man." This leads to a playful debate about their internal "pivot" reward system—a fictional point-based recognition system used on the show.

Notable Quote:
Robert Kelly: "You could say something brilliant and we all laugh and get a pivot." [09:34]

3. Nostalgia for '90s Music and Personal Anecdotes

Transitioning from promotional antics, the conversation shifts to nostalgic reflections on '90s music. The hosts share personal stories related to iconic songs like "Hysteria" by Def Leppard and discuss how music from that era evokes memories of their youth.

Notable Quote:
Paul Virzi: "The older I'm getting, I'm starting to like eight, dude. The other day I was jamming in my car, flying on the highway, blasting Hysteria by Def Leppard. Incredible." [16:13]

4. Reminiscing About First Cars and Driving Experiences

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reminiscing about first cars and driving mishaps from the '90s. Big Jay, Robert, and Paul share humorous and often embarrassing stories about their early driving days, favorite (and least favorite) cars, and the challenges of mastering the road.

Notable Quotes:

• Robert Kelly: "I had a 280ZX with no floorboards. So I just had the carpet over the floorboards. And it started to rain and we went through a puddle and it just shot up, buddy." [28:24]
• Big Jay Oakerson: "When you put up your own money, you do your own promotion. It's nuts, man." [13:26]

5. Cultural Adoption and Authenticity in the '90s

The hosts delve into discussions about cultural trends in the '90s, particularly focusing on how white kids adopted and adapted aspects of hip-hop culture. They explore themes of authenticity, cultural appropriation, and the challenges of not fitting entirely into a new cultural framework.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson: "We were trying to keep up in the '90s, and we did. We felt corny. So if you were going to try to not be corny and also not be like an obvious, like, fake wigger kid." [35:06]

6. Final Banter and Closing Remarks

As the episode winds down, the hosts continue their lighthearted banter, touching upon topics like the evolution of car aesthetics, the impact of music on memory, and the enduring appeal of certain cultural symbols. They wrap up by reiterating promotions for their own shows and upcoming events.

Notable Quote:
Robert Kelly: "Everybody has reasons, man." [30:41]

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Conclusion: This episode of "The Bonfire" offers listeners a blend of comedic promotion and heartfelt nostalgia. Through engaging dialogues and shared experiences, Big Jay Oakerson, Robert Kelly, and Paul Virzi create an entertaining atmosphere that resonates with both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

Key Takeaways:

• The challenges and humor in promoting a comedy special.
• The deep-rooted nostalgia for '90s music and cars among the hosts.
• Insightful discussions on cultural adoption and maintaining authenticity.
• A showcase of the hosts' chemistry and ability to blend humor with genuine storytelling.

Listeners who enjoy a mix of comedy, personal stories, and cultural reflections will find this episode both entertaining and relatable.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

You know, guys, when it's time to tame the mane, don't settle for just any cut. Head straight to Sport Clips. Right now, the pros in men's hair. Have you ever checked out a sports clips, Bobby?

[Robert Kelly]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Sport Clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the Hail Marys for the football field because Sport Clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan to give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk. Bobby, you love guy places.

[Robert Kelly]

I love guy talk. And I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best place for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the tv and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like Sport Clips. It's a game changer. High Five Casino, everybody. High Five Casino lets you play your favorite slot in live table games like blackjack with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit high5casino.com. That's high. The number 5casino.com. No purchase necessary void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply.

[Paul Verzi]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. The look of love. That's the look. That's the look. The look of love.

[Robert Kelly]

Who is this again?

[Big J Okerson]

Abc.

[Robert Kelly]

Abc? What was that an acronym for?

[Big J Okerson]

Not another Bad creation. That was a bunch of black children.

[Robert Kelly]

Already been chewed.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not what it for, Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

Could be.

[Big J Okerson]

Son of a. Oh, I hear it. No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Right here.

[Big J Okerson]

That's gonna be too much. Type in ABC band Wiki. There we go. The look of Love from Sheffield. Let's see.

[Robert Kelly]

I love when they tell the story over the song.

[Big J Okerson]

This is my favorite part.

[Robert Kelly]

Right here, Right here. Ready? Right here. Ready? Right here. Who doesn't like that?

[Big J Okerson]

That wasn't bad. I liked it a lot. I like you doing it. I may have liked you doing it more than anything else involved in that. Why won't they just say right, look up? Just the question. What is the band ABC stand for? It's going to be like, you know, Palestine. It stands for Palestine.

[Robert Kelly]

Are they another bad creation?

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's definitely. That's the one. In the 90s. They swing their beat at the playground, you know. Are you too old for that?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a little too old for that.

[Big J Okerson]

Aisha.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, I love Aisha.

[Big J Okerson]

Aisha was a great song. It's. But it's really funny to watch. It was so adorable because first, let's introduce our guest. By the way, he's got a new special out right now. Reasons man is streaming.

[Paul Verzi]

Reasonable Man.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. What a failure. What a. You know what, dude? What a failure.

[Big J Okerson]

How she put this in here? You can put it from home. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. He just threw her under the bus. She's sick. She has no. No pivins at all.

[Paul Verzi]

God, that would be a horrible name. Reason. Reasons Man.

[Big J Okerson]

Reasons Man. Yeah. Why are you doing this?

[Paul Verzi]

Reasons Man.

[Big J Okerson]

Although it's not a bad title if it was used in the special properly. Reasonable man is the new special. It's streaming right now on YouTube. And he's going to be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island, November 22nd and 23rd. Go to PaulVersey.com for tickets, everybody. You know him as the co host of Bone the Pick with our very own, the great Robert Kelly. It's the hilarious Paul version, guys. What's up, buddy?

[Robert Kelly]

How's that? So that was a failure on. Not your part, on their part.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

That wasn't you failing on the intro, Reasonable Man. Yeah, it was.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I read exactly what his intro.

[Paul Verzi]

Nailed it.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, well, he always fucks with me.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Bobby does not. Bobby gives intros like a panicking. Let me try.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I try?

[Big J Okerson]

Like a college show.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I try?

[Big J Okerson]

Sure. Hey.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, let's introduce our guest here. He is the amazing Paul Verzi.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's the immediate thing you do wrong every time. Look, how cool. You know, when we start the show, sometimes I say, this is planned coolness. You know what I mean? Sometimes we start the show and I just come in with a sentence. No, not even like, what's up? I just go, you know, Bobby, this song always makes me think about whatever. We're just already talking. We're already going. So this is a good. Out of the blue. The new special is called Reasonable man, streaming right now on YouTube, everybody. You can catch him all over the road November 22nd, 23rd. He's going to be in Providence, Rhode island, everybody. How about it for the hilarious Paul Versi?

[Robert Kelly]

Let me try it again. Let me just try one more time.

[Big J Okerson]

Here you go. Paul versus YouTube special.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not. I did. I'm gonna Try right now.

[Big J Okerson]

So I do a show with him.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna nail it right now. Ready, ladies and gentlemen?

[Paul Verzi]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, wait one second. Here we go. Play that music in that got me pumped up. Ready, go. This new special, Reasonable man is out right now on YouTube. You can go watch it today and I suggest you do. He's going to be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island, November 22nd.

[Big J Okerson]

If you were going to do the I guess you do thing. Stop the music. If you're going to do it and you really do want to do it, you got to get that. You got to bang the things out. Reasonable Man's the new special, everybody. You can catch him live on the road. He's going to be in Providence these dates. If you want to do the dates first, you can go, hey, he's going to be in Providence, Rhode Island, November 22nd, 23rd, and the new special, Reasonable Man. If you haven't checked it out, check it out right now on YouTube.

[Paul Verzi]

That's smooth Paul Versi.

[Robert Kelly]

That's one more time. Oh, Rhode Island. You're going to get ready for this guy because he's coming the 22nd and 23rd to the comedy Connection. He also got a special right now on YouTube, reasonable man. Today with us, we have the pleasure of having my friend Mr. Paul Verzy's in studio.

[Paul Verzi]

That was good, too.

[Big J Okerson]

That was very good.

[Paul Verzi]

That was good.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby, can you come over here with me for a second? Yeah, keep over here because there's some controversy right now going on. Oh, there's some controversy going on with reasons Man. Okay, come over here.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, wait. Was it me?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you see, this is sent too.

[Robert Kelly]

And then this is the reasons. It's actually.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine was probably thinking herself like, what a dumb.

[Robert Kelly]

This is going to affect bone.

[Paul Verzi]

I'm sorry, Christine, you.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I'll be right back.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, it's my fault. I'm sorry. I did it, you know what? I did it in a rush, late. It's my fault. I apologize. I take it back. No, no, Christine wouldn't have done that. It was me.

[Robert Kelly]

You, like a typical ginzo, let somebody else take a hit for you.

[Paul Verzi]

I did it.

[Big J Okerson]

You farmed it out.

[Robert Kelly]

You let Christine take a hot one in the chat.

[Paul Verzi]

Christine, it's on me.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry, but you knew it was on you.

[Paul Verzi]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

You.

[Paul Verzi]

No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

You wrote it.

[Paul Verzi]

I wouldn't. I didn't realize it was a typo.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a typo from you.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby. Bobby. But no one's understanding what's happening. It's me and you had a little confab over here.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But what happens was Black Lou was so excited to show, by the way. He loves taking a white man down.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Especially this type of.

[Paul Verzi]

It's because Trump won. That's what it is. Trump won. And he.

[Big J Okerson]

But Jacob, what you'll find happened was what Black Lou show was that he followed the email chain that dials back to Christine saying, what's, you know, what do you want us to promote?

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And Paul verse, he's sending forward my new special Reasons man, which I kind of like more now that we've said it so much. I really like Reasons man.

[Robert Kelly]

I really do, man.

[Big J Okerson]

A comma. We should comma in there for sure. Is it too late to get to the graphic artist? I know we're already running live for a bit.

[Paul Verzi]

I did it. I did it around 5:00. Rushing. It's my fault. Christine. I would never take that. First of all, don't turn me into that.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not saying I'm Sicilian.

[Paul Verzi]

I don't do that to people. Especially good people like Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

You did do it to her. I didn't know you did it to her. You knew. You sent the email, and then when he sent it to, he read it wrong, and then he took the hit and then it went over to Christine. You felt the vibe, and in your brain, you were like, oh, shit.

[Paul Verzi]

No. I looked at Lou and I go, that was me. And he nodded his head. I didn't think Lou would do that to me. The way he came over with the water, the way he brought me to my seat, I was like, oh, this guy's all about me being here today. And then he was like, hey, Jay, look at this piece of. Look what this piece of just did.

[Robert Kelly]

He's wearing a uniform for a reason. That's the bonfire uniform.

[Big J Okerson]

And that's why you, my friend Paul Versi, are part eggplant and pivots in here.

[Robert Kelly]

And you know what? You don't get a pivot. I think Black Lou deserves a pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

Black Lou killer piven, my friends, right there. You know what? That might be a dual pivot. You brought content to the show and you threw somebody under the bus. Two of my favorite things.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I make a suggestion without losing one?

[Paul Verzi]

Was pivot here.

[Big J Okerson]

Could I cover those pivots?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm holding these pivots close to my heart. Christine was thrown under the bus. She's sick. She's home. Thrown under the bus for being a Dummy. And not right. And it wasn't her. It was not her. I think one Piven should be given back to her, so she's only down two.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, without even being present, has earned more Pivens than she has when she's been out. It's our new system of reward, Paul. You see, Jeremy Piven flyers for a weekend ago were left in this room for some reason, okay? But I'll tell you what, it's just a. It's a mind fuck that you put some value on anything that means nothing.

[Paul Verzi]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

People get very excited for it. Now you haven't received a pivot yet. And all pivots come back home at the end of the day, because every day is a new system.

[Paul Verzi]

I don't get to take the pivot with me?

[Robert Kelly]

No. Are you crazy? You can't take a pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

But you'll see if you earn a pivot and you'll. It'll just happen out of the blue if you earn it.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay. Feels good, does it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Watch. Jacob, honest to God, just for being, like, fucking pleasant today and smiling, you get a pivot.

[Paul Verzi]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

No way, dude. You're not getting this pivot. You see how much it hurts him? Look how it's a stupid piece of paper, but he wants it more than anything.

[Paul Verzi]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I just stonewalled him.

[Robert Kelly]

No, that's the thing. You don't know what earns a pivot. It could be anything. You could be asked a question, answer it right, and you get a pivot. You could say something brilliant and we all laugh and get a pivot. Whatever you do, you don't know what it is, and then you get a pivot. So you can't think about it. Don't think about.

[Paul Verzi]

Can I sign it? I'm sorry, Christine. And give her one that she keeps.

[Big J Okerson]

There's only one pivot we're writing. I'm writing on it right now. In fact, Jacob, if you wouldn't do me a favor here. I do feel bad about waving that to prove a point, because I saw how good your face get. You are going to get the loner. We have a loaner emotional support pivot that I will loan Alec Labra card, if you wouldn't mind just jotting your name down there. And the day and the time. And then when you get it back, I have to initially, or I will consider it stolen.

[Paul Verzi]

Yo, Lou did. Lou did some dirty shit. Now that I. Now that I'm picturing how that went down, he was like this. Yo, Jay, come here for a second.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, he's like.

[Paul Verzi]

He went. He was like, we got it. We got a. That was.

[Robert Kelly]

He was.

[Big J Okerson]

He was standing with Pee Pants.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. All right, well, you know, I up. I'm sorry I rushed.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what? Everybody has reasons, man.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, stop.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, man, why'd you fuck up your plugs? Reasons, man. So many reasons.

[Paul Verzi]

Hey, if reasons man versus reasonable gets me more views, go check it out. It's doing well. It.

[Big J Okerson]

You should. AKA reasons, man. Two things. I don't know how they're going to find. I just wanted to find it.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

How long's it been out for now?

[Paul Verzi]

A month? It just has been out for, well, four weeks now. So. This week? Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a month.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, this week.

[Big J Okerson]

YouTube releases are so, so stressful for the person who puts it out. No one can understand that. I guess influencers do when you put it as special. It's such a culmination of work. This isn't like, dude, hey, I'm going to go parkour today and. Or, you know, like, make fun of an old lady on camera. This is like, it's been a year and a half, two years or more of like putting something together and then it comes out and you get to watch every view, like, crawl up. You're like, God damn.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, dude, it is. It was so nuts. Like the night of. I'm like, all right, we opened up with 10K. Okay. Then the next day, I'm waking up in the morning, then my kids are like, dad, your special is at like 20. And I'm like, oh, shit. But every day until. And then like producers and people are like, once you get to, you know, they were like, hopefully you get to 100k by like January, February. I'm like, I want to be at 100k like in two weeks. You know what I mean? It's just nerve wracking. You put up your own money, you do your own promotion. It's nuts, man. But I like it better, you know, because I had to wait. Both specials. I had to wait so long. The Comedy Central on Netflix was like, yeah, so is like April of 20. And now you do it yourself and you put it out yourself. You do the artwork, you approve everything. So I liked it better, for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Concern? Yeah. I said, I have something over Netflix, but it's like they said it takes them a long time to say yes. They say no very quickly. So I guess it's good they haven't said anything yet. But also parties, like, if you say no now, I would have this out already. Like, like, A month ago? Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Mine was nine months from when I did it last night.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I'm going to put my next special on Punch Up Alive.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, why not? It's your company.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not my company, too.

[Big J Okerson]

No. You have a major stake, and it's why you push it to everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

I do not have a major. Don't listen to him.

[Big J Okerson]

But you have full kickbacks because you get a. It's a system where you give people.

[Robert Kelly]

I get nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You have your coupons, you sign people.

[Robert Kelly]

I get no coupons.

[Paul Verzi]

You.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you listening to him?

[Paul Verzi]

Okay. No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

I just.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like DirecTV, where you. Other people, you tell other people.

[Paul Verzi]

It's a comedy pyramid scheme.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a Ponzi. Ponzi Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a QR code. It's a QR code.

[Big J Okerson]

If you scan, Ponzi says, hey, you're fucked.

[Robert Kelly]

Because when you put a special out on YouTube, you have to. They will demonetize it and they will not show it.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, Arthur Ponzarelli.

[Robert Kelly]

But if you put it up there, it's there. There's no censorship up there. You can put whatever you want up there. Really?

[Big J Okerson]

Let's challenge that. I want you to put up a special where you slide subliminally the N word in every joke of yours.

[Robert Kelly]

Every joke.

[Big J Okerson]

100% of jokes.

[Robert Kelly]

But, like, as. Like the way Patrice would do it.

[Big J Okerson]

No. Rhythmically. Where it would fit in. Do you know when we do this, Me and Fenoy had this conversation.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's be careful with this one.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's very good. You know when curse words or the N word fit into a lot of songs in fun ways. I'm not talking about racism. I'm talking about, like, a black person would say it in a song, but in a song that wouldn't make sense. Like foreigners. Double vision. Do you get what I'm saying?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Can you just do it without doing it?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. And right at the end.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that's more of a curse one.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Where you throw curse words in or something. I forget the point we're making.

[Robert Kelly]

Anyway, look in my eyes. Right there. I got the hub of. Where would you put it? I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure that's a good place for it? Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, after.

[Paul Verzi]

Look in my eyes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. It's a good two syllable word. Pops in there. Nice. It's easy. It's. Even if it was three syllables, be difficult to find a spot for it.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't stop. Believe in. Right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yes or no? No, no. More like after feeling and then right before street lights, people.

[Robert Kelly]

Right? I get it. I love it. I maybe like a little Bon Jovi. You could throw it in there, too.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'm sure.

[Paul Verzi]

You know what's nuts? The older I'm getting, I'm starting to listen to. Because I know you guys were talking about before. The older I'm getting, I'm starting to like eight, dude. The other day I was jamming in my car, flying on the highway, blasting Hysteria by Def Leppard. Incredible.

[Big J Okerson]

Unbelievable song, too.

[Paul Verzi]

It's an unbelievable song.

[Big J Okerson]

Crescendo. Killer.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, yeah. Are you alone tonight?

[Big J Okerson]

But here's. I'll tell you exactly why it's happening. It's pure nostalgia, like anything else. TV and it's. You are. How old are you now?

[Paul Verzi]

We're getting older, dude. 45.

[Big J Okerson]

45? I'm 47. 46. Yeah. I'm 47 in December. Bobby. I think 59.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm not, dude. I'm 54.

[Big J Okerson]

You 54. Bobby's 54. Jacob's in his early 70s, losing his video. And the thing is, you drive around these songs hit you a different way now. Even the ones you didn't didn't over harp on hysteria when I was younger. Yeah, but now it's a thing. You go. It takes you back. You're just like, oh, I'm in my mom's car.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm into Cuba right now.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like I was. I couldn't believe what was important to me back then and how far away I am from that.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, my mom and dad used to listen to, like, Steve Winwood. Remember Steve Winwood? Stevie Winwood had some bangers back then. For those people that was telling you what my.

[Big J Okerson]

A couple. Steve Winwood was a little long. I looked at him like Rick Astley. Even though I know he's more talented, it for sure.

[Paul Verzi]

If you could hear love, what would it sound like?

[Big J Okerson]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Dad, I think we should.

[Paul Verzi]

Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. [e-mail] an OHA initiative at Metro.

[Big J Okerson]

Get an iPhone 12 with 5G and a dual camera system on us. Take amazing pictures and share them instantly. And don't put up with life's yada yada like photo bombers. Zoom, crop out, yada yada and bye. You don't take yada yada in life. Don't take yada yada from your wireless provider. Get iPhone 12 with 5G with no activation fees. And nada, yada yada. Only at Metro by T Mobile. Switch now bring your ID and sign up for a Metro Flex Plan offer. Not available. If currently at T Mobile or been with Metro in the past 180 days.

[Christine]

We'Ve all got a thing. For me, it's vintage furniture and now talking about how I found it on ebay is like my whole personality. Even at 2am when I can't get 19th century sofas off my mind, I'm on ebay for sure. Scrolling my favorite seller's storefront, setting search alerts, and building the watch list of my literal dreams. I know antique lamps aren't everybody's thing, but the best part about ebay is it doesn't matter what you're into. Fashion, car parts, trading cards. It's all there. So go find the thing that keeps you up at night. Ebay Things People love Are you holding.

[Robert Kelly]

Back on travel plans this holiday break because you're afraid of a language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel. I use Babbel all the time. I just went to Cuba. It was so frustrating and not be able to ask for certain things. You know what? I just turned on my Babbel app. All of a sudden I was speaking sentences saying good afternoon. I got to go in and say pour favour queso which means please cheese. This app was amazing because it teaches you in a fun, relatable way that all of a sudden you just know words and they're in your lexicon. I'm learning Italian with my son. I put my whole family on Babbel right now with a quick 10 minute lesson handcrafted by over 200 language experts. Babbel gets you talking in a new language Just three weeks and with the advanced speech recognition by Babbel, it's like having a personal language tutor in your pocket helping you pronunciate whenever you open your mouth. I got Babbel. I hopefully know Spanish and Italian by the end of the year and I already know a bunch of words. I know a couple swears too. Not on there from the guy I met in Cuba. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription but only for the Bonfire with Big J Ogresson and Robert kelly. [e-mail] Bonfire get up to 60% off babel.com Bonfire spelled B A B Rules and restrictions may apply. Tiamo Gracias. Billy Joel was big. What about I remember being at my.

[Paul Verzi]

My dude Phil Collins Great.

[Robert Kelly]

At my uncle's house and Billy Joel's Glass Houses came out and they had this big party. All my uncles and aunts and my mother and everybody and they just. Massive party wine. And remember they used to have.

[Big J Okerson]

For the release of Glass Houses.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, they just. They were playing the record all night long.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, okay. I thought you were saying the party was for that. Guys, Billy Joel just put out a new album, Glass Houses. I want Everybody over here. 8:00, BYOB.

[Robert Kelly]

It actually might have been. It might have been.

[Big J Okerson]

What are your parents left One Direction.

[Robert Kelly]

That was the one. The one that was like the first time I actually remember hearing music and like, everybody loving it. And actually me getting into it was that album.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a pretty fun song.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a great album.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a good. And also you can dance around while the adults tell you to dance. And, like, look at little Bobby dancing. And you would just do your little.

[Robert Kelly]

I also remember my feet stuck so bad they made me take my socks off and burn them in the fire place.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. They were starting to get drunk, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, they were starting to get drunk.

[Big J Okerson]

What else can we burn?

[Paul Verzi]

Did you guys. Did you guys have kick? I had a kicker in the back. Do you have a kicker in your car?

[Robert Kelly]

What's that?

[Paul Verzi]

No, you know what?

[Big J Okerson]

Bass tube.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, like a big. Like your trunk is just the whole speaker, you know, bangs.

[Robert Kelly]

And I didn't have that.

[Paul Verzi]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because I wasn't Puerto Rican, that's why.

[Big J Okerson]

No, listen, he's not wrong. The guys did this. I did not. Never afforded a system. The most I got was I went and got speakers once at, like, Circuit City that they installed, and it was a little bit better speakers. It wasn't very good at all. The first time I got a face plate you could take off, I was too old for it, probably. Like, I shouldn't have had that anymore. Then you had to bring it with you everywhere.

[Paul Verzi]

You mean the detachable, where you put it in the case.

[Big J Okerson]

To put it in the case. Then it becomes like a. It feels like a goddamn weapon in your pocket.

[Robert Kelly]

I did have the Blau Punk, where you could take it out and you had to carry it into the club.

[Big J Okerson]

You had to carry the entire stereo. That was like the entire gutsy stereo.

[Paul Verzi]

You had the handle.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you had the handle.

[Paul Verzi]

Lunchbox.

[Robert Kelly]

You had to walk into the club. And I remember I had the stereo in one hand and I had the cell phone. Shoulder pack.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Remember the first cell phone?

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, I had Pioneer.

[Robert Kelly]

It was actually a phone with a cord And a battery pack that you had a sling over your shoulder. I remember I went into a sober nightclub with my Blow Punk in one hand and my huge cell phone battery pack in the other.

[Big J Okerson]

The first time somebody had a screen, like, a full screen. Yeah, I got into someone's Escalade in, like, the late 90s when they first came out. A guy we knew got an Escalade. And that screen that right now I would call a piece of shit display on an awful car I would never want was like. I felt like I was in a spaceship. I'm like, is that the title track and album cover on the screen?

[Robert Kelly]

Is that.

[Paul Verzi]

Is that changing colors? That's fucking changing colors with the beat.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that the bass going up and down? It knows the base.

[Paul Verzi]

Dude, I had, but I had the kicker. And we would have all the hip hop, but I was the only kid in my high school. My buddy busted my ball. I had Phil Collins Collins Greatest Hits disc on the floor of my car. And they were like, what's this? And I was like, dude, Phil Collins.

[Robert Kelly]

Phil Collins was good in the air.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, Genesis in the air.

[Paul Verzi]

Tonight on a Kicker was kind of nuts.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that's what's funny, too, is getting those songs because, like, obviously it was like rap. So my friend. My friend Danny Rossini was great name.

[Robert Kelly]

Rossini doing.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know, I think he had a pituitary problem. He might be dead, but he was. I'm just kidding. He's like. I mean, maybe he is, but he was about, like, 5 foot tall. He was tiny.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, his mother was, too, but her sauce was banging.

[Big J Okerson]

Her sauce was bazooms.

[Robert Kelly]

Danny Rosini's mother sauce.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he was a very freckly fa. He didn't look like a Rosini, but he was. He didn't look very Italian, though. But this tiny kid, and he got. He was the first of us to get a car and our kind of buddies. And he got a Monte Carlo, two bass tubes, five disc changer. And, I mean, all the speakers in the car. And I'm telling one of the songs, the one that just reminds me or makes me remember the most, was because he would do the hip hop. And that was great. He always. Dr. Dre Chronic. First thing came. I mean, you go through them thumping that. It was great. It sounded awesome. But again, that was a time where everyone listened to everything. Mother by Danzig thumped on that thing. But to me, the funniest was Fade to Black. Because, like, you go through, like, thumping and sort of turn their head, but the song is about nothing but suicide. And then the most emotional, like, it's a shred guitar solo, but it really is like a painful. The song's about killing yourself. You can't take it anymore. And just like four fucking wiggers driving around in a Monte Carlo going to fucking change price tags on Jordans at fucking models.

[Paul Verzi]

Italian kids had the great cars, right? He probably had the Drakkar. Remember Jakar air fresheners? Yeah, the cologne.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, everybody. All the coolest kids that pulled off, they must have been cheap or something because too many people had them. And I don't think they look cool anymore. I've lost the look for them. But the convertible mid-90s Mustang, the 5.0.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Jay Moore had that.

[Big J Okerson]

They started to make. They started to make them like circley. And that wasn't as fun. That was like. Yeah, it was like a different car. But that last one, that was like kind of.

[Paul Verzi]

You're talking about the rag top 5.0.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Paul Verzi]

That was dead.

[Big J Okerson]

That was. That's the one. Yeah, there it is. There it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's a badass.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, essentially one of them. Yeah, that's 92. Even if you get to probably 90. They started to go, like, bubbly. Like, it looked like a fucking Hyundai by the. By the, like, end of the 90s.

[Paul Verzi]

Remember the horizons. You don't remember the horizons. Can you pull up a horizon? It was like. It was boxy in the front and then it had the back. My buddy would pick us up from high school smoking a cigarette, just playing I'll Make Love to you by Boys to Men. And that fucking thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yes.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, you remember that? And his color was almost like the one on the far left.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom. My mom. I drove. I lost. I took my license test on a stick shift Chevette. A white Chevette, which is the same.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, it's like. It's almost their version.

[Big J Okerson]

Exact looking car. And I mean, that car. My stereo was. And I didn't even think anything of it. It was a boombox in my backseat that I had. I forget what the tape was, but the cd. No, I'm sorry, you mean like a radio? A boombox? Yeah, like a radio. And I would have to reach back and I could play the CD was, I believe, Judgment Night soundtrack. It was the first CD I ever got. And then the tape I had in the tape deck was onyx. Back the fuck up. And I could just alternate back in those. But it was a real. Like, there's no auto reverse. So you had like, like take the tape out and flip it around, clack it back up. I had my stick shifting, a fucking tight clutch.

[Robert Kelly]

I took my license in my uncle's 67 four door Chevy Impala.

[Big J Okerson]

So definitely stick shift, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

It was so hard to drive this jalopy. I don't think it even had like. It had like. The power steering really didn't work that well. And I.

[Big J Okerson]

You had to start it like Daniel LaRusso's mom. You had to push it.

[Robert Kelly]

That's it right there, dude. But it was, it was a box. It was like, dude. I remember I was at the beach where they. In Revere beach where they cruise up and down the boardwalk. And I pulled up to this hot chick and my. Rolled my window down, but it just fell off the track and went sideways and she went, get a new car. And I just had it grab the window and kind of wheel it back up with my both hands.

[Big J Okerson]

I remember that dude, having a girl you like get in your car when high hair was still a thing and it's touching your falling. And if the best. What you do is before she got in the car, you would touch it to the Styrofoam so it would grab a little bit. And then you just slowly see like one finger of it come down and you're like just driving, staring at the thing like, hey. And you got to tell them, you know. You know, you've lost the night though of being totally cool. And when you have to acknowledge and goes, you just push that back up, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I had a. I had the Starsky and Hutch car, the Grand Torino.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

But. But the wires got melted together. So to how it just. The thing heated up and they just had the wires melted together. So I was on a date with the girl and she's like, I'm cold. Can we turn the heat on? I go, yeah. In the glove there's two wires. Just connect them together and sparks would shoot out and then the heat would turn on. It was bad. I had a 280ZX with no floorboards. So I just had the carpet over the floorboards. And it started to rain and we went through a puddle and it just shot up, buddy. Remember the high hair? Her hair, she looked like. She looked like this beautiful dog. And then she just looked like a wet poodle. She goes, take me home.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm over this.

[Paul Verzi]

Did you pass your road test the first time?

[Robert Kelly]

I did. Did the first time. Yeah. But here's the thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I did, I, I made. They didn't. You know, I feel like, they would have called it a K turn back then. I would have done it the right way. They called it a three point turn. And I was like, I did it in three points. But my first move was, I think I did it in two points is what I did. I pulled all the way up, so.

[Paul Verzi]

You were a better driver.

[Big J Okerson]

I pulled all the way up and backed up.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And went the other way. And I was like, two points. And he was like, right, but you've smashed into a car that's behind you now. I'm like. He's like, you have to go. The idea is you turn first, then back up, then go. That's three point turn.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

My immediate move was like, fuck that. I go, I can just back up and then pull out that one because you're already driving. Not much. Not much. It just made sense to me when I did that. You passed my writing one the first time.

[Paul Verzi]

I failed. I failed the writing one twice. Passed it the third time. I'm dry. I go to the road test, and we had to pull out of this park, and it was a big four intersection. And I let it go from red to green to like. And he just goes, we could sit here. Like, I didn't even start yet. I pull up and he just goes, so we could sit here all day if you want, because the light keeps. Keeps changing. And I never knew. It was, like, a really difficult one. And then after that, I'm like, I. I failed. And then I nailed everything because I felt like I could just. I was like, it. I just did everything. Three points.

[Big J Okerson]

Money now. Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I was like, house money. There's no way he's gonna pay. And he just sits there. I'll never forget. He takes a clipboard and he goes, well, I suggest you get the manual. And you really do. You read up on intersections. And then I go. He goes, but you passed. You had enough. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, doomed from the gate, you know?

[Robert Kelly]

And you remember that back in the day, though, like, we never. We all had buckets. Nobody had a good car. Your first three cars.

[Big J Okerson]

Shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Richest shit. But, like, now it seems like there's no more shit cars. Like, even. Like, I never see a bucket even.

[Big J Okerson]

The idea when people said that bar mitzvah kids would still like when they were buying their car, it wasn't like a holy shit. This Monte Carlo was a piece of shit. He just got it and put this whole stereo in it. I'm sure it was like, at the.

[Robert Kelly]

End of day, but why don't kids.

[Big J Okerson]

Hunk of shit car.

[Robert Kelly]

When was the last time you saw a hunk of shit car?

[Paul Verzi]

No, there's no rust anymore.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, it doesn't exist.

[Paul Verzi]

No, there's no rust because plastic.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Like remember the rust around the wheels? That. That's like. You would flick it, you could just. The car would disintegrate. That doesn't happen now.

[Big J Okerson]

It would look better if you just kicked off some of that rust. Yeah. I had the 87 Honda Accord hatchback that everyone had. Space blue or gray, whatever it was. 87 Honda Cord hatchback. I mean that's car. I mean everyone has. I had the one. The one right in the middle there is definitely the one. I have those lights flipped up and I was like, well, the future's now. Everybod look out.

[Paul Verzi]

It was like your Tesla.

[Robert Kelly]

It was a badass.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh great. Kermetzger got that car stolen for me.

[Robert Kelly]

I had a Honda, a Hyundai two door hatchback.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Five speed Hyundai. Hyundai. But they really, they never. Yeah. Hatchback. And I used to. My move was to bring the girls in the back and I would put their legs up on the back of the hatchback and go down. Oh yeah, I love it. Right there, right there. Hyundai hatchback.

[Paul Verzi]

Is that a chick in the back of that?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's a Mercury. A Hyundai. Hyundai. Hyundai.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought was really funny when a kid would try to soup up a car that was hilariously cheap. Like a fucking Dodge Neon with like fucking strobe lights underneath you. Like it's better when people would deck out the car that I had, which several of my friends did. Made more sense that you're putting cool things on, like an older car to get a brand new Dodge Neon. Like you've committed that you wanted a new car over a cool car.

[Paul Verzi]

You know why that was though? I swear to God it was fast and furious. When fast and the furious came out, people made their Civics. They put wings on the back of their Civics. They put fucking blue lights.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not wrong. It was, it was. I do remember that regular cars like a Ford Escort, but it's got fucking big wheels in the back, small wheels.

[Paul Verzi]

In the front scene where the Asian kid was playing a video game in the car kids were putting shit in.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, look at his tricked out Dodge Neon. That'd be dope to have now. Now be awesome to have a tricked out Dodge Neon. One of the reasons also is the Neon put an SRT engine in it. So it was a four cylinder turbo which is faster than it had ever Been before nobody was racing their Dodge Neons.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never had a fast car.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

No. I never ever got a like a speed. The only the nice car I had.

[Big J Okerson]

About Tracy Chapman's fast car. Remember Matt, that fast car?

[Robert Kelly]

A Maximus? Is that what it's called? Maximum Maxima. I got a maximum when I was delivering. It was Maxima, right? That's it. Yeah. Four door Maxima. That was hot. Yeah, I remember that.

[Big J Okerson]

Maxima was. People love the Maximum. My friend Mike Vada got a Max Maxima. And it was funny. It's when everybody started slowly putting things on their cars. And you could do a lot with like tape, the pinstripe tape. But they would do things on the windows.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Just on the windows. And what he got done was. And it's funny, you know, when some of your friends believe their nonsense more than others, but everyone just kind of goes together and that'll make more sense when I explain. I started doing comedy and I wasn't around my day to day friends much anymore. And so while I was off like driving to New York all the time they were hanging out and they decided that these eight or so white kids and one black friend were going to be called the second Mafia.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh no.

[Big J Okerson]

And I didn't know. And I came home one day and I saw in the back of Mike's car, it said 2M. I mean shittily written in thing. And I was like, what's that? He goes, but he's trying to do it. He's like, I don't know, it's just some design I thought of or whatever. I go, two M's Very specific though. I mean your name's not Mike Anything with an M. So there's not two M's there. What does it mean? I just see him not wanting to tell me he's got to find the one kid who believes in. He goes, second Mafia dude. That's our crew now. I go, that's your crew of. We all live on the golf course. Like we all moved to South Jersey to not be part of gangs and stuff. You guys are starting a gang and our clubhouse is walking around the pool or the, you know, the neighborhood beautiful country club.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

The beautiful basketball courts we have. It was like we all moved to not be around this.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it with Philly people that have to have gangs?

[Big J Okerson]

It's not even Philly people. It's white kids. Were the 90s hit white kids hard in the corny. And if you weren't prepared.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute. Wait one minute. That's a. Thank you. That's one of the greatest sayings I've ever heard.

[Big J Okerson]

It did. It hit us. You gotta remember, white kids went from being used to 50s and the 60s and the 70s, where the black kids were being, like, dominating, overpowered. Then everybody figured out they were way cooler, better dancers, dress better, bigger dicks, the whole thing. And then white kids started adopting the culture. But if you weren't gonna adopt the culture fully, do you know. I mean, like, in personality. That's the thing for me. Like, I did the. Yeah, I did the look, but I never did the personality at all.

[Paul Verzi]

I did dumb. Like, I would sell weed, but, like, just to, like, profit. 20 bucks. Like, I remember I got in the back of this car and this black dude came in and he just goes, yo, man, you're not gonna me right on this. You're not. You're gonna get me my money. And I'm like, yeah. And, like, my buddy goes, dude, this is a horrible deal. Like, I don't even think there's enough weed to get him back his money. And I just wanted to sell it. So, like, I literally broke even just selling bags away. Stupid.

[Big J Okerson]

But, yeah, just trying to do this thing. So it was. We were trying to keep up in the 90s, and we did. We felt corny. So if you were going to try to not be corny and also not be like a obvious, like, fake wigger kid.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Which is where you had to. You had to show up with your car. Your car had to be tight. That was a way. So it's like, people would go all out. But I did every thing you can do. I. I mean, purchasing goggles to wear on my hat, sideways on my head is pretty insane.

[Paul Verzi]

That's. That's top now.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'm gonna leave.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what the Oakley goggles on the hat.

[Paul Verzi]

Ski. Ski goggles.

[Big J Okerson]

Not ski. I guess. I guess they are. Yeah, I guess they are. At a point, they were just called goggles because no one was using for skiing. They were just a look for a minute. And then the fucking. Those beach queefs fucking the Offspring made pretty fly for a white guy. And then everyone realized, like, holy shit, dude. We're all dressed like this joke they're making.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, yeah, give it to me. Baby was tough, man.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm so glad I never went through my wigger stage.

[Paul Verzi]

I had a buddy go, dude, you want. Should we all get, like, white bandanas and put them on our belts?

[Robert Kelly]

I did have the. I did have the Def Leppard bandana on the leg, the thigh. Sure. I actually wore to a dance once the red bandana around my neck. Like a handkerchief with a muscle shirt.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it was the switch. We. We had it for a minute. If you look at the beginning of breakdancing, when. Breakdance. They were dressed like heavy metal people. Yeah. Because it was like rock star type shit. Then it started developing its own thing and got away from that. So then you were corny if you were wearing. But that was the thing for everybody was wearing a bandana around their neck and tied up ones around their wrists and everything. And the breakdancers all did that. But once hip hop became its own style. Baggy, the open boots, kind of like the urban kind of winter thing, that look came in and it really changed everything. And now if you. No one ever talks about that. What killed hair metal hip hop? Possibly. You couldn't. You were so corny if you dressed in tight pants.

[Paul Verzi]

Did you see Fat Joe come out for the Yankees?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

When he came out, and it was just. It was so New York because the Timbos were just open and he had everything. And then we fucking got smoked.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. I'll tell you why he got smoked.

[Paul Verzi]

And they said it was his fault.

[Big J Okerson]

Why it was so New York. Is that like, it's still. The World Series, is still supposed to be a family event of America's pastime, favorite sport of baseball. And then right away it's everybody. Fat Joe goes, I don't give a fuck about your thing. And you.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, because Ice Cubes was like kind of LA and kind of laid back and cool. And then Fat Joe came out so hard.

[Big J Okerson]

Pussy, ass, pussy. Lean back on your face.

[Paul Verzi]

Lean back. And there's like a little girl with cotton candy with his nuts on your.

[Big J Okerson]

Mom'S face all day. Paul Versi's new special.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on. I was gonna do it. I'll tell you right now. A Reasonable man is streaming because he's here now. I know.

[Big J Okerson]

So now you go. Paul versus new special.

[Robert Kelly]

Paul's versus new special. Reasonable man is streaming right now on YouTube. He's also going to be the Providence, Rhode Island, November 22nd, 23rd. The tickets and all the tour dates. Visit PaulVersey.com and make sure you check out Big J this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Bone the Pick with you two. That's why I was going to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

I got to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Bone the Pick is the podcast. You get it wherever you get. And download your podcast. Make sure you rate, review and like it. Everybody, Bone the Pick. Sweeping the nation right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Big J is going to be at Louisville Comedy club this weekend. November 5th and 16th, Houston, Philly, St. Louis, all other stuff. He's BigJ comedy.com and the Comedy dojo with the skanks in Jersey New Year's Eve.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby Kelly, Morris Plains, New Jersey, Beacon, New York and Kansas City all on deck. And every Tuesday night at 7pm at the Fat Black Cat Punch up live Slash Robert Kelly. I think the show's over.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't forget to get the don't forget to get the Holiday Spectacular. Tuesday the 17th, 7pm Village Underground, New York City. Reserve your tickets now. Comedyseller.com.

[Paul Verzi]

What is this place?

[Big J Okerson]

Welcome to Cloud 9. How exactly did I get here?

[Paul Verzi]

You're a Toyota Crown driver. And only Crown drivers ever reach this.

[Big J Okerson]

Level of pure bliss.

[Robert Kelly]

The captivating Toyota Crown family Toyota. Let's go play. To realize the future America needs, we understand what's needed from us to face each threat head on. We've earned our place in the fight for our nation's future. We are Marines. We were made for this.