
Ari Shaffir joins the show and then leaves abruptly for moral reasons. | Dan St. Germain is hanging out and gives the scoop on what it was like to write for The Roast Of Kevin Hart and which jokes he authored. Jay reveals his writing process by showing the notes he wrote for the roast. | An audience member wrote a negative Reddit post of the Legion of Skanks because they used a shock collar during the show she attended. | Crack Amico's latest diss track is fan-funded for him to slam Opie Hughes. | After Ari leaves, Jay lets Christine know about the disgusting act he performed in her home office. You can watch The End, Ari Shaffir's 7-part live storytelling show featuring major comedians, exclusively on the The End YMH Studios platform! The Burbs Bros podcast staring Dan St. Germain & Sean Donnelly is available anywhere you get your podcasts! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christin...
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Sean Donnelly
And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.
Big J Okerson
Oh, we got a fun day today
Bobby Kelly
oh, what a fun day we got
Big J Okerson
a fun day today we got. Well, we got a fun day today.
Bobby Kelly
Look at him. He's giving. He's giving Jacob a big, big.
Big J Okerson
He's got a bun.
Bobby Kelly
Give him a kiss.
Big J Okerson
Two state solution. He's calling for it. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, Bobby. I'm gonna jump because then, well, we'll have Dan here. I'm gonna leave, and then.
Bobby Kelly
You're not gonna put him.
Ari Shaffir
Idiots.
Bobby Kelly
Sit down. What'd you say?
Ari Shaffir
I can't stay with those guys.
Bobby Kelly
Why?
Ari Shaffir
I don't stand for what they stand for. Aliens.
Big J Okerson
Alien bullshit.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Ari's like me. He doesn't believe either.
Ari Shaffir
I don't believe it. I don't like it. It's worse than that. Maybe I do believe. But I want it silenced.
Bobby Kelly
I have a theory that Ari's actually an alien.
Ari Shaffir
Ooh.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. That's why you're so strong against it. Because all the weird shit you do and the way you look and the thing you have to. You didn't go eight months away. You went back to your planet for eight months.
Ari Shaffir
Bobby, I'm gonna talk to you after the show.
Bobby Kelly
Whoa.
Ari Shaffir
I got a device I want you to see. I know you're a big gadget guy. I want you to look directly into this new device.
Bobby Kelly
Dude, I. I'm just. I. I don't know nothing.
Ari Shaffir
No, Bobby, it's happening.
Big J Okerson
Forget everything you've heard. It is the bonfire. Faction talk. SiriusXM103. I'm Big J Okerson. Never the small one. Clocket. Pitch that over there. Freshening his breath with my new device. With his new nano breath device.
Bobby Kelly
I put a new one in. It's grape.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, should be some grape. Ari doesn't know how it works. I'm sitting in with us. Everybody back from the jungles. He is here. Yeah. Suck it in. Give me a. Oh, God.
Ari Shaffir
What is this?
Big J Okerson
We're all taking a whack, dude. It's fucking cigar breath.
Bobby Kelly
Better.
Big J Okerson
Oh, suck it.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, Jacob.
Big J Okerson
Oh, it's grape.
Ari Shaffir
Friendly like that.
Big J Okerson
Oh, it's grape right there.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, it's great.
Big J Okerson
Actually burns a little. Great. I think it's doing something bad.
Bobby Kelly
No, it's not.
Big J Okerson
It's bad for you.
Ari Shaffir
Is it vape?
Bobby Kelly
No, it's the new. It's a breath freshener thing for people who smoke weed or cigars or cigarettes. And it shoots it. It vapes it into the back of your mouth and all over your mouth.
Ari Shaffir
That's where the bag comes from.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big J Okerson
I do want one.
Bobby Kelly
I'm going to get you one.
Big J Okerson
Thank you.
Bobby Kelly
Done. You know what? I do? I'm a gift giver.
Big J Okerson
You are?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. My. My addiction isn't just for me, bro.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, he needs to buy. But he has it.
Big J Okerson
Solution though, actually. I feel like something's wrong in the back of my throat.
Bobby Kelly
No, that's just your hypochondriac.
Ari Shaffir
I feel too.
Bobby Kelly
No, you don't.
Ari Shaffir
I feel. Yeah, there's like a burning.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it's called mint. It's called fresh.
Big J Okerson
No, it's like a. Like a dull pain.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, because it goes in the back with the bacteria and with this bacteria it kills it. It's.
Big J Okerson
I don't think it kills bacteria.
Bobby Kelly
It's killing the. The shit in the back spray and
Big J Okerson
it's making the back of my throat hurt a lot. Am I allergic to this?
Ari Shaffir
I can.
Bobby Kelly
It's actually. That's gross. Sounds like you're finger banging somebody.
Big J Okerson
Oh, my God.
Ari Shaffir
There's a real problem here.
Big J Okerson
Something bad's happening. We have an EpiPen. People are very upset right now.
Ari Shaffir
I can't help it.
Guest/Producer
Yeah, you can.
Bobby Kelly
Just.
Big J Okerson
Did you try to kill two Jews? Oh, the water hurts my throat.
Ari Shaffir
It goes down smooth in a way I don't like.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it hurts. I know the way you like it. I know. Type of smooth you like.
Big J Okerson
I hate this.
Bobby Kelly
He likes black smooth.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. We have to hear. We have Sean Donnelly also and Dan St. Germain coming in.
Ari Shaffir
I'm just finding out right now that's not the same person who
Big J Okerson
you thought they were like a day night kind of thing?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Bruce Wayne, Batman.
Ari Shaffir
Which one has gout today?
Big J Okerson
Ian Finance. Somehow old, tiny. And finance has gout.
Ari Shaffir
I did look up for Ian Finance. Like, how do you get gout? I. I saw him and I was like, wa. The rich person's disease. He goes, no.
Big J Okerson
What?
Ari Shaffir
No, he's not the rich person's disease. King's disease. I said that? And I go. He goes, no way. And then I went to the seller, I saw Val there, and I was like, do you know about Ian? He goes, and she goes, yeah, I just told him it's the King's disease. And he said. And I saw him 10 minutes later. And I said the same thing, unrelated. And he acted like, I've never heard of that before.
Big J Okerson
That crazy thing that was said.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
He likes a fresh conversation. He likes to freshen it up.
Big J Okerson
He does wipe the slate clean when he walks away from everybody.
Ari Shaffir
He says, but it said, you get it from eating too much organ meat.
Big J Okerson
Really? Well, I've always heard. I heard it's just red meat and beer and shit.
Bobby Kelly
People don't know you get it when you have too much.
Big J Okerson
A salty.
Bobby Kelly
Sure, salty cock will give you gout. I had gout when I was around 18 for like two weeks.
Big J Okerson
This is the kind of stuff NPR won't tell you.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, they refuse.
Big J Okerson
Thank you, Bobby.
Ari Shaffir
That's why I don't donate. Where's my tote bag?
Big J Okerson
Hey, this place.
Ari Shaffir
Where's my tote bag? That I do a care.
Big J Okerson
This place. Bobby, you wanted to hear. I said, I saw.
Ari Shaffir
We both have such soft hands. No work on our parts whatsoever.
Big J Okerson
Pretty funny. Crack Amigo did an Opie of Opie and Anthony disc today.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, yeah?
Big J Okerson
It's pretty good.
Bobby Kelly
I just outgate Ari, which is an achievement.
Big J Okerson
That's great.
Bobby Kelly
I feel proud of myself.
Ari Shaffir
I feel violated.
Big J Okerson
Well, he just came back from countries where they kill the gays. They don't celebrate them, so he can't have it on him. He's got a demon in him. Do you want to hear the Opie diss?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, I do.
Big J Okerson
Before you said you wanted to hear it, but we had to start the show. So this is not us saying anything about it because I don't know Opie like that, but this song did make me laugh.
Bobby Kelly
I just want to say this before you play it. I just like Crack Amigos songs.
Ari Shaffir
Everything he does. Do you like the music?
Bobby Kelly
Everything he does is great.
Big J Okerson
He just happens to never attack us.
Bobby Kelly
I mean, that's why I'm saying this.
Big J Okerson
But I would also laugh if he made a song like making like a diss track. I'd laugh. My so good. I get more honored by stuff, I think than other people. People are like, yeah, well it's kind of shitting on you. I go, yeah. But he made the whole thing like ye.
Bobby Kelly
It was hard.
Big J Okerson
The whole thing. Joe Matarize. Joe Matarise for like a split second in time. Soda Joe Mataries for a split second in time. Got it for me. He was in his car doing one of those like freaking out about that red bar guy going at him.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
And he was in his car talk. And he just goes, you know what, dude, I gotta say something. That whatever guy, Tupac. No, no. Who was the one who made all the base frequency? Base frequency. Maybe. Was it him? Maybe one of the two. One of the two guys who. The big dogs were elephant grave. One of them. He goes, I gotta say, this guy makes fantastic documentaries. We make great. He made three parts of documentary about Joe Mat that are so concise and edited and narrated and the organization of the timeline.
Bobby Kelly
It's so we bonded over them.
Big J Okerson
We bought. Yeah, we had a real. That was a. I loved watching for
Ari Shaffir
us when we were up at summer. He would load one up. I'm like, never seen this before.
Bobby Kelly
Wow. We did tummy time for hours in his room in Montreal just watching.
Big J Okerson
Just tearing through the Joe Matarise files.
Bobby Kelly
I couldn't wait to get done with my shows. Just to get back to tummy time and watch the Joe Matarize files.
Big J Okerson
We had so much left. Yeah. I go, Bobby, this is just half of part one. There's three full parts.
Ari Shaffir
He had one on Bird and he said it was like coming next Monday. And I was like, call. Bart was like, how you feeling? He goes, I don't know. I mean you can't stop it. But it was actually pretty respectful.
Bobby Kelly
Was it red? Red. Was it red bar?
Ari Shaffir
No, that's a different one.
Big J Okerson
Red bars. This is the guys who make the document. Red bar just goes at us like in like video clips and everything. He does go at all.
Bobby Kelly
He went at me one time when I was doing the in the shed thing. Remember during the pandemic, Live from the shed. He. He went. He went back.
Ari Shaffir
He went, shed pounds.
Bobby Kelly
Wow, that was a good one.
Ari Shaffir
Double meaning on a compliment that he attacked me.
Bobby Kelly
But it was, it was. You can't help but laugh cuz he's say. He's stating the obvious of all the horseshit behind me that I had up all these stupid trinkets that I had behind Me? He's. What the. Is that. Why. Why would you have that? It's like. Yeah, you're right. You make a valid point.
Big J Okerson
Wow. Black Lewin out to go get Dan St. Germain, and then he mysteriously vanished. You think it's aliens?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, maybe it's. Maybe it's.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, maybe.
Big J Okerson
Sean's here. He's waiting for Dan St. Germain. Yeah, he's in the lobby right here.
Ari Shaffir
But both of them aren't.
Bobby Kelly
Will you stop that?
Big J Okerson
Huh? Somebody went take a Duke. For me to say. I don't know.
Ari Shaffir
You think they went to get barbecue? You think all three of them went to a local barbecue joint?
Big J Okerson
So Dan St. Germain went to take a Duke or Black Lou took a Duke? No, Lou didn't. It's not my place to say what people. She said it.
Bobby Kelly
Black Lou had a ticket. Poop.
Big J Okerson
No, it's not Lou film over the
Ari Shaffir
thing and they get banned from waiting for Dan.
Big J Okerson
And I think now Sean speaking about
Bobby Kelly
getting banned from serious. Let's play this clip.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, The Opie song. What's the setup? I don't understand.
Bobby Kelly
We were talking about crack, amigo. And then I I Opie. He said he had one of Opie and I'd never seen it. So I want to see Cracker Migo
Big J Okerson
we've had on the show before. He makes like the. Not parody songs, but like the. Like the disrupts diss raps about our world.
Bobby Kelly
Is it a Jew thing or is it what?
Big J Okerson
Always having a bag of chips just
Bobby Kelly
going to make noise.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, for sure. It's definitely Jewish. I'm not leaving anything alone. Leave it alone. Do what you want.
Crack Amigo
Tim came out in the closet. Ant started burning crosses. What's crazy is that Ant can drive a Shelby drunk and bite a ho. Dropping in a teens to somehow be more likable. More likable than you, at least. Plus, he's not who this song about. The fans hate you so much that I got paid for what's coming up out of my mouth. Would have never done this on my own. Dying for your old crimes. Look at you now. From a high model to a slap body. From a shock jockey to a low cal. And I would have thought by now that maybe you'd mellow out. Barking at Mike said like five in the morning. I think it's time to put this old yellow down. Had an obsession with being number one in radio. Wanted all of that power. If everybody call him Opie, Imma call him wrong Howard. Why the is comedian up in your bio? Gotta be a mistake, son. You could never Even take a joke, brother man. Let alone make like, holy ass.
Big J Okerson
What the F. Who the man? Not you, man.
Crack Amigo
Millionaire taking super chats just to ring out remnants of his only fans. A 69 year old man with a purple mouth. Greg, still got them sugar titties, sweetie. Pull them nurles out. Only Jesus knows what's happening behind them walls. Probably got that doggy licking peanut butter off his ball. Open up your soul and take it.
Big J Okerson
He exerts. He repeats the chorus. He's so good. I mean, he implies in the song that he was paid to make that by like people who don't like Opie.
Sean Donnelly
Wow.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah, he does. I wonder if it doesn't apply that.
Big J Okerson
I think he says it's implicit. I think I say. I'm saying the word implied when he just flat out said that he was paid to do it because he ever
Bobby Kelly
made an album, like a regular album.
Jay
This was a fan funded diss track.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. Fan gave him 10 bucks and he did it.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. He's so good. Has he ever made an album?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, like a real rap.
Big J Okerson
Yes.
Jay
I know that because Crack Amico was like formed through Real Ass podcast, I think.
Big J Okerson
Right. It's cracking me. I don't know. I think he did do something where it wasn't just making jokes about the comics. But he's great.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, that's really good.
Sean Donnelly
Good.
Big J Okerson
He did it going back Trump. We watched too.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
It's like, stop tripping on Trump. But it's like the jokes, the joke's making fun of how bad Trump. Yeah, but it's just the whole thing.
Ari Shaffir
He got mushrooms legalized.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Ari Shaffir
So he's like. He's like, all right, Iran's a hiccup, but we got mushrooms.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Ari Shaffir
He goes, you're getting married to Benjamin and Netanyahu. But. But don't worry. Get mushrooms during the cere.
Big J Okerson
The homeless are everywhere and the ice promise. But he goes, listen, it's a hiccup.
Ari Shaffir
He's about to get back on the horse.
Big J Okerson
He goes, what? He had a couple of flub. He had a couple of missteps.
Ari Shaffir
Couple flubs. Yeah. He just keeps giving it up for him.
Big J Okerson
He's like, come on, man, let's give him a chance.
Ari Shaffir
We got mushrooms.
Big J Okerson
He's gonna turn it around. We have mushrooms now.
Bobby Kelly
What was the last one we watched of Chelsea Hammer? That one was good too.
Ari Shaffir
He made a Chelsea one?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it was really good.
Big J Okerson
He threw DL in for a second too. The thing he did with DL stuff was awesome. Is that, like, for his little chunkiness about DL, every Other word is dld. It starts with a dldl. Yeah. Pretty neat. He's level.
Bobby Kelly
You're real good.
Big J Okerson
Hi. Live.
Bobby Kelly
Where's he from? Philly?
Big J Okerson
No, North Carolina.
Ari Shaffir
Like, yeah, like tennis.
Bobby Kelly
What, you fart?
Ari Shaffir
No. You want me to?
Commercial Announcer
Nope.
Ari Shaffir
And then I won't.
Bobby Kelly
That's my game. My game.
Big J Okerson
Thank you.
Bobby Kelly
That's my thing.
Ari Shaffir
Take one last clean whiff.
Big J Okerson
Christine, you should know that Ari was in your office today.
Ari Shaffir
Christine, you shouldn't know. But actually you shouldn't know.
Jay
What did you do to my office?
Ari Shaffir
It's better than you don't know.
Big J Okerson
It is better.
Jay
It was filmed.
Ari Shaffir
What?
Big J Okerson
It was filmed.
Ari Shaffir
Then you'll see. Nothing of out of sort, nothing untoward.
Big J Okerson
Start texting Alex to. Hey, take that little section out, if you don't mind.
Ari Shaffir
I'm not some ne'.
Bobby Kelly
Er.
Big J Okerson
Do. Well,
Ari Shaffir
guys, you're all being cads to me right now.
Big J Okerson
He didn't touch anything he wasn't supposed to touch.
Ari Shaffir
I promise.
Bobby Kelly
It's so funny. When Ari's at your house, you really do have to get nervous where he is in the house.
Ari Shaffir
Remember I left a bottle, glass of piss in your fridge?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Oh, my God.
Ari Shaffir
Like my wife and child go into that fridge. I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess so.
Bobby Kelly
Max loves lemonade too.
Big J Okerson
Now we found out he loves piss.
Bobby Kelly
Easy.
Ari Shaffir
Well, well, well. One of the boys.
Big J Okerson
One of the boys.
Bobby Kelly
What's up, buddy?
Ari Shaffir
Fresh off the roast. Writing for everyone except Big J Okerson.
Big J Okerson
Everyone
Sean Donnelly
gave him.
Ari Shaffir
He said he's not taking jokes from whites or blacks.
Big J Okerson
I did get. We have Dan St. Germain joining.
Sean Donnelly
Hey, guys.
Bobby Kelly
What's up, buddy?
Sean Donnelly
How are you, Bob? You look great. Holy shit.
Bobby Kelly
Thank you, pal. Appreciate it.
Sean Donnelly
God damn. You got to get a tighter sweaters because I thought you were bigger.
Bobby Kelly
Tighter sweaters.
Sean Donnelly
Tighter sweaters. I thought you have more room because you were hiding something.
Bobby Kelly
I am still hiding stuff. That's why I didn't get the tighter sweater. Then you'd see it.
Ari Shaffir
He's hiding his cheapness. He didn't want to throw out sweaters
Big J Okerson
or have holes in them.
Bobby Kelly
I always keep a fat wardrobe just in case.
Sean Donnelly
Just a cape.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. I have a fat suit in my closet just in case. And it's come in handy over the years, to be honest with you.
Big J Okerson
Dan is. Dan's coming off of yes, writing for the Kevin Hart roast where I gotta say, I saw Naim Lin. First person that gave me from the deus that said anything about me at all. It was the very end of his. He did a Breakfast Club.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Did you see that.
Sean Donnelly
No. What did he say?
Big J Okerson
It's gone pretty viral. I think it's just him going on there. And he goes, yeah. You know, they were only showing the writers at one point for Shane. That's like, Shane's writers only. And Naeem was just like, no, no. I talked to all the writers over Netflix. All white.
Sean Donnelly
Was he joking?
Big J Okerson
No, he was like, all white.
Sean Donnelly
That's not true.
Big J Okerson
But they were talking about. He said that Chris Spencer and then Play the thing. Play the name on the Breakfast Club clip. He says that Chris Spencer and them were Kev's writers and that people can bring in their owners. But they said Netflix staff writers was all white.
Sean Donnelly
I don't think that's true.
Big J Okerson
I hope it is.
Sean Donnelly
I mean, I know two black writers that were there. I know Ian Edwards, and I forget the other guy. I'm blanking on the name. First time I met. Yeah. But I thought Ian was part of the show.
Ari Shaffir
But Ian has, like, manners, so it doesn't come off as black.
Big J Okerson
That's one way to look at it.
Bobby Kelly
Is Lou laughing? Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, that was a good one, dude.
Sean Donnelly
That's crazy.
Big J Okerson
But they were like, each person can bring in their own writers if they want.
Ari Shaffir
Right?
Big J Okerson
And there's Netflix fighters. And then the very. I mean, there's this much left. There's a smidge left of clip. And he goes. He's like. I think he goes, me and Big J Okerson, the only ones that write our own jokes. I was like, yes. It just goes to blank. I'm like, ooh. There's no reason.
Bobby Kelly
Kev mentioned you too, on Breakfast Club.
Big J Okerson
No, he didn't.
Bobby Kelly
Yeri did.
Sean Donnelly
We were like, I can't believe he said this about the writers. And then he gives you one compliment, and you're like, yeah, forget it. Don't worry.
Bobby Kelly
He mentioned your name.
Big J Okerson
No, he didn't.
Bobby Kelly
Yeri did.
Big J Okerson
Nope.
Bobby Kelly
Yeri did.
Ari Shaffir
Bet $100 on it.
Big J Okerson
I'll bet you $100.
Bobby Kelly
Um, okay.
Ari Shaffir
Shake.
Big J Okerson
I don't.
Bobby Kelly
I can't reach.
Ari Shaffir
I know. That's why I want you to do it.
Bobby Kelly
I'll shake with you.
Big J Okerson
No, we'll do it. We'll do an emotional shake.
Bobby Kelly
We'll do a salute. There we go.
Big J Okerson
Emotionally, 100.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
What do you say?
Bobby Kelly
Mentioned your name. I didn't say. He didn't say you were great. He just.
Big J Okerson
Ouch.
Bobby Kelly
I mean, listen, I said. He mentioned your name.
Ari Shaffir
Said. He mentioned.
Big J Okerson
Because there was a bunch of useless white up there. Big James.
Guest/Producer
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Because he was given the list. He said this one. That one. Then at another point, he said, big J Okerson. He said your name, which I thought was cool.
Big J Okerson
Oh, it'd be the first time since the roast. He didn't say at the end of the roast at all, actually.
Bobby Kelly
The first time since, I think, 2018. First time.
Big J Okerson
No, I did say. I know. I said. I realized that after the rose was over, I was like, oh, at the end, when he was going around. Whose phone is going nuts?
Bobby Kelly
Not mine.
Sean Donnelly
It was Donnelly calling because I guess he's in the hallway. I don't know. Or not. I don't know.
Big J Okerson
He's lost in the hallway.
Sean Donnelly
Do you have his number? Right, Lou. Okay, cool.
Big J Okerson
They'll let him know if he checks in, too. Edna Lou.
Sean Donnelly
No, Edna. Lou is. That's like a Hug Finn character making molasses. I can't believe, by the way, that this roast thing is still a story.
Big J Okerson
This is pretty much the last thing. Three and a half weeks on this thing.
Ari Shaffir
Who did. Who wrote Scrape more shrimp than Benihana?
Sean Donnelly
I think that was Mullen, but it could have been JP Too.
Ari Shaffir
That's a good one.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah, it was Mullen or it wasn't me.
Big J Okerson
White, I don't think.
Sean Donnelly
And it wasn't Lawrence, I don't think.
Bobby Kelly
Can you say what joke of yours was the best that got the most?
Sean Donnelly
I remember the one I wore on Jay was the. He's in the Epstein files for actual pizza. That was mine. And then I did the. I did the. I didn't do the fat flute, but I did the Lizzo. Looks like the final boss of a Red Lobster video game. That was mine.
Big J Okerson
But, yeah, that was, like Shane's personality in that one. He goes, you fat.
Sean Donnelly
And then I did all the gay. All the. The whole gay section, too. But, yeah, it was. It was fun. I mean, it was a blast. Everybody killed it. I thought. Yeah, honestly, everybody killed it.
Big J Okerson
That's the bummer of Tiana. You know, besides, like, the. The thing. Team up. Yeah. We go, what writer's gonna take full responsibility for Teona Taylor?
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Sean Donnelly
I got one joke in there, too, but I don't. I don't talk about that one. That's what I mean, this white supremacist writer. The other two jokes I got in were for the two black women on the dance. So I guess I'm not doing the white nationalist thing, right.
Big J Okerson
You're doing it totally wrong, I guess. Good. Well, yeah, back it up a little, tiny bit, because he said at one point, he was like. He said he had extra jokes and that they said the writers could use them if they wanted to put them in the pool or something. See, there was no black people in there. I think now you had your own writers then you might have had somebody black. But as far as the Netflix writers, it was just. I thought they were executives.
Ari Shaffir
They're like, no, this
Big J Okerson
is actually racist.
Sean Donnelly
I will. I agree with them on the first thing is they should have paid him if they wanted his jokes.
Big J Okerson
But for sure, you know, like, budget.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah, but were you on the Zoom? Naim could also beat the out of me, so I'm not going to talk.
Big J Okerson
You know, he's.
Sean Donnelly
He's like a legit comic who can fight.
Bobby Kelly
Were you on the Zoom call with him?
Sean Donnelly
No, I wasn't there.
Big J Okerson
I was.
Sean Donnelly
I was only there the last week in the room. I was on the one with the Rock and the Rock during it. Like, when we're. When we're pitching him, he's, like, doing the people's elbow stuff, and he's, like, feeling his goosebumps, like, during the reading. It's crazy.
Ari Shaffir
Really?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. What a blue phony.
Sean Donnelly
He's literally going like this, like. And then. And then there's all these executives going. We love that for you, Dwayne. We love it. Oh, my God, this is amazing.
Bobby Kelly
Goosebumps.
Ari Shaffir
Is he wearing a sack of potatoes?
Big J Okerson
It's a very stylish shirt.
Ari Shaffir
There's no. There's nothing on it.
Bobby Kelly
It's a dress shirt. It matches his sneakers.
Big J Okerson
I wrote my own shit. Me and Big J, I think, are probably the only people that wrote their whole set. And that's it.
Bobby Kelly
There you go.
Ari Shaffir
Nice.
Big J Okerson
Thank you, Naeem.
Sean Donnelly
Thank you, Naeem Zapruda film Has there been about this freaking roast, man.
Big J Okerson
Thank you, Naim. Thank you, Naim. Lynn Ayim, the star on social media. Thank you, Naim. Was that looked on in the room, as was anybody in the room. Like, shitty about that.
Sean Donnelly
About what?
Big J Okerson
Like, me and Naim didn't want to
Sean Donnelly
use the Absolutely not. Yeah, they didn't care. No, I mean, like, the funniest thing. Your jokes were fantastic. I remember the balloon thing, but the way Jay wrote him, it was terror. Like, it was a schizophrenic shopping list. Like, when I first saw it, I'm like, these can't be good because no one writes. And then I was like, is this the zodiac? Like, it literally was, like, there was, like, circles in the middle and scratches, but they were all good. Like, once you, like, analyzed him, you, like, put hieroglyphics together. You're like, oh, wow, he's a genius. He's just making us work from the
Bobby Kelly
FBI to analyze it.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Sean Donnelly
Just. John Douglas.
Big J Okerson
I can send you this. I can send you this picture.
Jay
He sent that into people.
Sean Donnelly
It was crazy. I was like, can you not read? Oh, my God, These are great.
Bobby Kelly
Well, it's weird that every comic has a different way of writing down jokes.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Like, if you look at a comet's notes.
Ari Shaffir
Brody's. Brody's is the best. Brody's was just like, two, four, six. John Crook. You'd be like, what? Middlebury High School. The Eagles.
Bobby Kelly
Russ Maneve used to just draw characters of the bit. And you're like, what does that mean? He goes, oh, that's a bit about a girl.
Big J Okerson
Are you serious?
Sean Donnelly
That was not a joke.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Russ Maneve's set list was fucking chaotic.
Big J Okerson
Drawings.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, drawings on his.
Big J Okerson
Why did I had to do this? They were like, you have to send something in. And I was like, yeah, but it's all just, like, thoughts I have now. So I just wrote it as I was. I said, I think it says, we'll see in a second. And then he goes, cheryl Underwood is black as question mark. I'll figure it out.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah, I remember we were laughing about that. There was like. The last two were just Mad Libs. It's like, she's so fat. She's. I'll figure my angle at some point.
Bobby Kelly
That's a Philly thing, though. Keith never writes down. I don't know any guy from Philly that has a note.
Big J Okerson
But Keith notoriously went up on stage and ate, trying to wing it.
Bobby Kelly
He ate. But he did take a napkin out with something written on at the end.
Big J Okerson
Really?
Bobby Kelly
And that bomb, too.
Sean Donnelly
What? Roasted?
Big J Okerson
He bombed Patrice o' Neill at the Boston Comedy Club.
Sean Donnelly
Oh, it was brutal, huh?
Bobby Kelly
He's like. He's like, I wrote something. And he pulled a napkin that. From the Cellar out of his pocket. And then I don't know what it was, but he read it and it just went, boo bomb.
Sean Donnelly
The best is I've seen it where guys crumbles the list up and he throws it in back, and then the three jokes don't work, and he runs back and grabs the list and unwraps it. Oh, my God.
Jay
There were more circles and things going on.
Bobby Kelly
I love that you gave it a fancy title, though. You're so cool, Nikki.
Ari Shaffir
Laser isn't here because it's hurt.
Big J Okerson
Weak.
Ari Shaffir
His handler's weak with the substance. Exclamation point.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, look at the substance.
Sean Donnelly
This looks like an Epstein File drop.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, absolutely.
Jay
Their mouths.
Big J Okerson
Chelsea Handler, 50 Cent. Sex. Pumpkin spice, corn chips, hazel, etc.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah. Tony Hinchcliffe.
Big J Okerson
Teeth.
Ari Shaffir
Too many. Too few.
Big J Okerson
I never even said that. Yeah, regular mouth. Looks like the alien's little mouth.
Jay
We need stables.
Big J Okerson
Stables up here.
Bobby Kelly
What does that say in highlighted.
Big J Okerson
Right.
Bobby Kelly
Right above on that line right there.
Sean Donnelly
What does that say?
Big J Okerson
Oh, a Chelsea Handler had sex with 50 Cent and Joe Coy. But I wondered. Hey, Sean.
Guest/Producer
Hi.
Big J Okerson
I wanted to make sure. I was thinking. Needed more wording to specify that Jo Koy was Asian. To just make sure.
Ari Shaffir
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
So I.
Ari Shaffir
He is sort of.
Big J Okerson
So for the. What do you call that? Like the. The way it hits the ears, you know, it sounded better famous now, but famous rapper and Asian American comedian versus 50 Cent and Jo Koy. Give him both a little description.
Bobby Kelly
What does that bold thing say? What does the bold writing above those
Ari Shaffir
two words in Frank Lazar?
Big J Okerson
It was his famous rapper.
Ari Shaffir
Frank Lazar.
Bobby Kelly
Frank Lazarus.
Big J Okerson
What?
Bobby Kelly
Right there.
Ari Shaffir
Frank of us.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Bobby, I don't know how many times I can tell you the same exact thing. It's not going to change. It's famous rapper.
Bobby Kelly
You don't have to yell at me, though.
Big J Okerson
But you're saying, no, Frank Lazar, and I'm like, nope. What you're looking at is the words famous rap.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, famous rap. Well, he said Frank Lazar. Okay. I'm sorry, Jay. It's the way you say it.
Big J Okerson
You let Ari lead me lead you into something that was insane.
Ari Shaffir
He didn't respect you when he said you weren't right. He could have been more, like, caring.
Bobby Kelly
You could have been a little more caring about it. That's all.
Big J Okerson
He could have respected me. When I told you, I goes, what you're seeing is famous rapper and Asian comedian.
Ari Shaffir
You said it to him like 10 times.
Big J Okerson
Yes, so many times.
Ari Shaffir
Just was going, no, you don't understand, Jay. You're stupid.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, you were saying I was stupid.
Ari Shaffir
Who's Frank Lazar?
Bobby Kelly
Well, then I'll say I'm sorry to you, Jay.
Big J Okerson
I'm sorry, too.
Bobby Kelly
Hang on, Ari, shut up. Let this go down. We gotta fix.
Big J Okerson
I'm also sorry.
Bobby Kelly
I love you.
Big J Okerson
I love you so much. So much. It says famous rapper and Asian. Everybody joining the show.
Guest/Producer
Do we need. Do we need counseling, guys?
Bobby Kelly
No.
Big J Okerson
No. The other half of the Burbs Bros. Is here. It's Sean Donnelly. Yes, you can check him and Dan out. Patreon.com burbsbr where they get into it? Fuck this government. They say they're lying to us.
Bobby Kelly
They look like, two guys that would be into aliens too.
Sean Donnelly
We're rebranding the podcast. They're Lying to Us is a great name.
Guest/Producer
They're Lying to Us. Great.
Big J Okerson
Oh, yeah.
Guest/Producer
We also have Panic Room. We have a couple other ideas.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Oh, yeah. There's Cheryl Underwood is as black as something. And then I'm gonna say that she makes Kevin Hart look like Shaggy or a white midget. It.
Sean Donnelly
You can see the point where he gives up when he crosses out, like, the punchline. It's like he blew his load on the Chelsea and hot air balloons and he's like, I'll get back, you guys. I'll get back to it.
Big J Okerson
That became the Draymond Green and her. So. But they had to bring him in to color correct the cameras.
Bobby Kelly
When did you finally. When did you finally get it all done? That week.
Big J Okerson
Yeah,
Ari Shaffir
we cove.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I mean, I had, like, pretty ironed out like, like the weekend before. And then week of, I hung out the night before Ari and Lewis came over and I wasn't like, like, like panicking over the set or anything. I was like, it's there.
Ari Shaffir
It's gonna be. We watched UFCS, supposedly won 500.
Jay
I think you sent it in Friday.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. I also made. Lewis is now Luis J. Gomez. I want to say that Last people know is into me right now for $2,500.
Ari Shaffir
He's into me for 400.
Big J Okerson
You think?
Bobby Kelly
You think he's into you for only $2,500?
Big J Okerson
Great.
Sean Donnelly
That he's running your guys business.
Bobby Kelly
That's awesome. Why don't you get a why don't really.
Sean Donnelly
Don't blame him now get a forensic
Bobby Kelly
account and find out what the real number is.
Guest/Producer
Is he playing CeeLo? What's going on?
Bobby Kelly
You mean the guy. The guy was working B clubs, driving an Audi.
Guest/Producer
They just buy a house.
Big J Okerson
For how much? This guy with a pool for how terrible this guy is at gambling. It's amazing how he somehow is sitting up money right now substantially. So we. The night before the roast, Ari and Lewis came over. They're just going to chill, watch the ufc, kind of get my mind off of anything. So we. We're watching the fights. Kim Congdon and Alex from Gas Digital come over to watch the fights. And Lewis starts making fights on a fight that really was supposed to go one way. Yeah, hazmat's supposed to beat Sean Strickland for the belt. No, like, it was supposed to be, like, almost no problem. So Lewis goes, I'll give you guys the odds. Basically, hundred hours you guys put up $100 each against me. I'll 500. So if I lose, I'll give you guys 500. If you lose me 100, I go, sure, let's do that. Then he did that with. With Alex and Kim Congdon, and they were like, they were so excited. All right, sure. He goes, I don't trust you ladies, so venmo me the hunt your hundred dollars now. Yeah, like as like your buy in to know that you're really anti up
Guest/Producer
for a fight bet he has.
Big J Okerson
I don't trust you'll pay me you if. If you.
Ari Shaffir
He goes, if I lose. If I lose, I'll pay you this 500 plus 100 you get back.
Big J Okerson
You get 600 bucks back. All right, so. And I mean, art. He gets cleaned out that night. Obviously, Sean Strickland wins. He owes Alex Kim 600 each. He owes me and Ari 500 each. Then Kim knows Louis nuff as a fellow Puerto Rican that get up his ass right away for it. So she got her money right away. Alex is employee who has a child and struggles, I believe as an out of work husband.
Guest/Producer
That's like rent for the month.
Big J Okerson
He is still every week on Skank since which has been several.
Ari Shaffir
He goes, oh, shit.
Big J Okerson
We always. We have to be reminded to tell him, hey, dude, you have to. You actually currently have her hundred dollars.
Ari Shaffir
At least give that back.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, you're sitting on hundred. She gave you on a whim.
Ari Shaffir
And he only realized it when he brings up this intern who still owes him $500. He goes, the guy still won't to pay me back. And then he realized who he's talking to and he goes, ah.
Big J Okerson
So we were doing rattlesnake merch body
Bobby Kelly
brain coffee and creamer.
Ari Shaffir
It's more like a Puerto Rican juice snake.
Big J Okerson
Monday after the show, we were doing one of our ad reads, and I did the call to action. I'm not drunk. I'm not anything. And when they did it at the end of the ad read, Lewis goes, dude, you got to do the call to action. Say 40% off for the ad read. And I went, I did, but I'll do it again if you want to make sure. He's like, no, you didn't say it. I go, no, I said it, but I'll do it again. It's no problem. He goes, you definitely didn't say it. Then Ari started getting them all hyped up that I didn't say it.
Ari Shaffir
Didn't say it, Louis. He didn't say it.
Big J Okerson
He goes, in double or nothing for me. On the entire bet. I go, absolutely. And he goes, now, dude, you didn't say it. I go, why do you think I'm forgetting? It happened 20 seconds ago, anytime. And I read it and said it all.
Bobby Kelly
You have to do whatever side Ari's on. They're wrong. That's all you got to do. Whatever side. No, he did say. He didn't say it. He did say it.
Ari Shaffir
I did realize. He goes. I said it before. I was like, oh, before. I might be wrong. Yeah, actually might be wrong.
Big J Okerson
It's too late. That was already made. And then they took them 30 minutes to load up the episode so we could have a playback in the room. And we sat there so Lewis can find out that he was crushed and now owes me, I think, $1,500.
Guest/Producer
Just the mush from Brown.
Sean Donnelly
He's so much more Irish than Puerto Rican at this point. Like, the Irish is totally. He's like 15% Puerto Rican.
Guest/Producer
He's like, just give me chance.
Big J Okerson
I know I can get it back. Double or nothing. I'm like, why would you take a bet on something I'm assuring you? I've done seconds ago?
Ari Shaffir
He want. He wanted Chasing the action.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, he loves it, dude. He gets hot for that heat.
Bobby Kelly
I hope gambling is his new thing. He has to sell us body brain to make money, and then we own it. And then it hits.
Big J Okerson
Oh, that's when you start getting. That's when you start getting the phone calls, like. He goes, hey, man. So it's doing pretty good. Any chance you want to buy in the body brain or something? That's what my.
Ari Shaffir
Trying to give out money here.
Big J Okerson
My brother got in trouble. He got in legal trouble for selling when he was on drugs. He sold lifetime memberships to a gym. Yeah, my parents, like, started a gym for, like, a year, and he ran it, and he was. And then when he needed money, he goes, you can get a lifetime membership right now for, like, 150 bucks forever. And people will be like, yeah, everyone said yes to that and just did it. And then they're like, there's no fucking such thing as a lifetime membership. 150 bucks for a lifetime. It was crazy. Or like 300 bucks, whatever it was. It was 400 bucks.
Jay
It was wild.
Big J Okerson
It was something crazy. It was. It was substantially. Everyone would take that deal. Yes.
Guest/Producer
That's like the guy from Continental. Remember con? Back in the day, Continental did have a thing. They're like 2,000 bucks. You fly, right?
Ari Shaffir
Always, forever.
Guest/Producer
You fly for free the rest of your life. Like, on a Continental. And the guy bought it. It was like 2 to 5.
Ari Shaffir
Like, $99 back then, whatever.
Guest/Producer
It was cross country.
Ari Shaffir
So it was like 2,500 bucks forever.
Guest/Producer
He built them for, like, I don't know, two or three million dollars worth of flights to. They cut him off. He was like, 65. And they just cut him off for the flights.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
So it's like, that's enough. We didn't mean this much.
Guest/Producer
Yeah, we didn't mean this many flights.
Big J Okerson
Has anybody ever filmed themselves getting to the point of, like, anything that's supposed to be, like, endless, where you're like, well, there's got to be some, like, footnote somewhere in a contract that says, eventually we have to close the building? Sizzler. Sir, you can't be at this buffet anymore.
Bobby Kelly
Me and Patrice shut down a sushi place in Vegas. Lady came over. She goes, we ordered more. And then he went, no, you have to finish. You have to finish one on your plate. Now we're like, that's not a rule. So you can't get more unless that plate empty. And we're like, you just made that up.
Big J Okerson
Well, you're the reason now. You know what they do now at those places. This is actually a pretty smart move, the sushi. The all you can eat sushi places. There was one by us in the thing. Order whatever you want. Keep going. You're going to pay for what's left on your plate back to them.
Ari Shaffir
Oh, really?
Sean Donnelly
So you just shove it in your mouth and throw up in front of the restaurant?
Big J Okerson
Do it.
Jay
Do it.
Ari Shaffir
Chips?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I think it's minorly digested. That should count.
Guest/Producer
Also, Bobby and Patrice just recreated a John Panette bit. Isn't that, like, his famous bit where he was like, no.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it was.
Big J Okerson
Really?
Bobby Kelly
I've never seen Patrice that mad. I think he called her an Asian. He's like, you, Asian? It's not a rule. It said, all you can eat.
Big J Okerson
You have to have a little.
Ari Shaffir
Guys, I gotta be honest with you. Asian's my line.
Big J Okerson
I don't like it. You're out of here.
Ari Shaffir
I'm not gonna say.
Big J Okerson
Okay. All right.
Sean Donnelly
Oh, that's it. Oh, my God. That's it.
Bobby Kelly
I think Ari's scared.
Big J Okerson
I saw that.
Bobby Kelly
I just think he's scared of these two guys because you're a alien.
Big J Okerson
I saw that coming.
Sean Donnelly
That's it.
Big J Okerson
I saw that coming.
Bobby Kelly
Christine.
Sean Donnelly
Ari's a reptilian. Ari's a reptilian.
Bobby Kelly
Undo his. Undo his little thing in the back. I bet he has an eye there.
Sean Donnelly
A mouse that is the craziest hairstyle.
Big J Okerson
Ari Shafir, little known fact, hates Asian hate. It drives him nuts. Yeah, and I've seen him do this before. This is not. This is not uncommon.
Sean Donnelly
I mean, most people hate west for that was like three weeks.
Big J Okerson
Weeks. Three weeks? Yeah, three weeks.
Sean Donnelly
And then they like, we're like, ah, they're doing fine. Yeah, they're doing pretty good. Black lives matter was like a season.
Bobby Kelly
You know, Steve Byrne put a new special and they're like, man, you know what? It's all right, it's all right.
Big J Okerson
Oh, Sean, if you want to switch that to over there. And Jacob, come sit back. And these days, a free offer doesn't stay free for long. The hidden fee starts stacking up. Service fees, activation fees. Next thing you know, it's not free at all, but it may. Metro by T Mobile. You can get the new Samsung Galaxy A17.5G phone free and save with no activation fees. That's about $250 back in your pocket. What could you do with that? So many things. You could buy junk food or video games or maybe go buy a ticket to the theater. They say the theater is dying. Help them out. You got 250 extra dollars in your pocket. Get that more for your money feeling only at metro. What are you waiting for? Find your local store. Just bring your number and sign up for the doll based on device discount and waived activation fee. Not available if you were with Metro or T mobile in the past 180 days.
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Big J Okerson
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Commercial Announcer
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Big J Okerson
It's one of many new drinks now at McDonald's. Refreshers contain caffeine.
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Sean Donnelly
Tell me what it smells like over there with that man.
Guest/Producer
Ayahuasca.
Big J Okerson
Oh, Christine, you want to know what Ari did this morning? Yeah, he was wearing just a bathing suit, like a Speedo bathing suit. And he was in Christine's office using her computer and camera and microphone to do Skank's episode with us. And at one point he thought it was funny to get up. And, I mean, he put his butt cheeks on the microphone and just cracked. I mean, you know what his ass looks like. So something comes out with every fart.
Sean Donnelly
Oh, Jesus.
Big J Okerson
And I don't mean like something like shit like. I mean, like body.
Sean Donnelly
Dude, this podcast is becoming saw.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah,
Sean Donnelly
you guys have collars on people's necks. Ari's just shitting and drugging people. You need to.
Crack Amigo
Need.
Sean Donnelly
The new co host has to be Jigsaw. It has to be coming on a bicycle.
Big J Okerson
The fucking last night. Did you see this Bobby yet?
Bobby Kelly
No.
Big J Okerson
Oh, can I send this to you? The Reddit thing, it's. This is so fantastic.
Jay
So last night, did something come out on my microphone?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it came out. When he farts, stuff comes out.
Big J Okerson
Like, you'd have to assume.
Bobby Kelly
I bet you there's a bone chip with blood on it on your microphone.
Jay
Switching out the mic.
Big J Okerson
You might want to switch out the mic, but I told him to open the window and everything. But you might want to do that thing. There's a thing in our house where you can open all the windows in the house and push a picture button and it sucks everything up to the attic.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, the big fan.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, those are great.
Big J Okerson
So we probably suck the AR out of the house if we get a Chance to. That would be pretty.
Guest/Producer
Doesn't stop from these headphones being sweaty.
Sean Donnelly
That was like, he had like three different bad hairstyles. Like, he didn't land on one. There was a LeBron receding thing, and then there was like an Amish thing
Big J Okerson
going on right here.
Jay
Jay, this picture they pulled. Hilarious.
Big J Okerson
Look at the T. You had the Reddit thing.
Jay
I. I think it's right here.
Big J Okerson
Yes, yes, yes, yes. So let me, Let. Let me build this up first before I read it to you.
Bobby Kelly
Sure.
Big J Okerson
This is fantastic. So we're doing the internal Olympics right now, and last night we thought it'd be funny. He goes, oh, we'll have him do a talent show. The remaining people, you know, we have to eliminate people every week. And they're all good. They're good spirited, good game. And we, we said, we're gonna do a shock collar talent show. And so they do their talent while they're getting shot collared. You know, give them a Z. And, you know, it was. We were doing more and more, especially if, like, you know, versus girls versus guys. You're going a little harder on the guys and stuff, but I mean, all within reason of everybody agreeing to it. Everybody signed everything. And then the last girl who was gonna go, it was only one girl in the contest.
Bobby Kelly
So fucked up. You have to sign something to do a podcast.
Big J Okerson
Gotta get shot collar for sure. But she also, we say the thing is, like, everybody can go, yeah, dude, I'm just not doing it. All right, yeah, that's fine. Like, but she. She had.
Guest/Producer
You're not gonna disqualified.
Big J Okerson
You're not gonna win this round for sure.
Bobby Kelly
You're not gonna be welcome.
Big J Okerson
But if it makes sense to make
Guest/Producer
that money to pay back Louis J. Gomez.
Big J Okerson
If it makes sense. If it makes sense, there's always, like a thing, you know, I mean, like, there's a thing you could have done. If you're like, I'm not doing it, but, like, I'll do that. You know, make another offer. What you will. Doesn't matter. It's all a comedy show. It means nothing. So this girl came up and she's got a big, like, a scar down her chest. So she's had. Clearly had a heart problem. And we point that out right away, and she goes, yeah, I don't think I can do it. And then the joke for the next half hours, like, are we going to do it? We're looking up if it's okay to do it. Is it okay? How long has it's been? What's your particular heart
Bobby Kelly
Is this going to affect the other device in your chest?
Big J Okerson
This chick also, by the way, is a loop. So it's like we're. She probably would have done it. Quite honestly. You should have let us do it. But, like, no one's doing it at all.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Guest/Producer
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
And I think where it got ultimately was Ian Finance, like, took it for her. Like, he took the shot and he was going to get it, you know, every time. Time we were gonna zap her. But, like, he took one zap and he was like, that dude. No way.
Bobby Kelly
Even if it cured his gout.
Big J Okerson
But this is great.
Sean Donnelly
This is the only way it can come.
Big J Okerson
You're gonna love this because this might be a troll in so many ways. You're gonna hear how, like, ridiculous this gets with, by the way, spelling recounting everything. This was two nights ago. If you can go back to it. Yeah, I watched Legion of Skanks literally torture people with shock collars last. I have never been a Reddit girly, but I watched someone almost die last night, so here goes. Lol. I watched Legion of Skanks at the Stand in New York City last night, and I genuinely cannot stop thinking about how up it was. I've been a fan of Big J since, like, 2015 when that Apple TV special came out. I don't know what she means by that. And I watched some of the fan put out a special. Probably you didn't know that.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah, especially you read it.
Guest/Producer
An Apple.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, you didn't know about that special. That's my favorite special.
Big J Okerson
And they go, I watch some of his podcasts when I'm at work. Lol. The other two, I don't know that well, but I knew the two guests, Ian Fine, Danksy and Dave Atelli. I even went to Skank fest back in 2021 in Houston, which was sick. And I saw Ian and Dave when they came through Houston too. So, yeah, I've been following these guys for a while. But tonight. What the. Now it's crazy about all of that. You don't know. Lewis and R Are. You came to Skank Fest. Like, that's insane.
Guest/Producer
What the.
Big J Okerson
To say that and then spelling your name. That's why I said it could be a bit of a troll. So I'm being funny, but they go,
Sean Donnelly
they could have been Chris Katan fans also.
Guest/Producer
It could be that aloof girl thing where she's like, I don't know who these other guys are.
Big J Okerson
Maybe.
Bobby Kelly
Have you seen him lately? Little. He has, like, an AIDS stomach now.
Sean Donnelly
It's tough.
Big J Okerson
Well, this is great.
Sean Donnelly
It's, it's. He's got National Geographic stomach.
Big J Okerson
Oh, yeah, he does.
Bobby Kelly
He has pygmy tribe chief stomach, dude.
Guest/Producer
He's never been contacted by society. Yeah, it's Amazon rainforest.
Big J Okerson
It is crazy looking.
Bobby Kelly
He has a cone on his dick
Big J Okerson
and he's got a young. He's got like a young kind of hot wife or girlfriend. She's smoking, brings him around and then he just does bits with people. But like, you could tell, he's like, he had to memorize the lines and just says, I saw him today do a thing where you stand next to a guy and the guy's like, I saw that. He's like, he's like, I'm taller than you. He goes, you're toy goes. He goes. Only like, he goes maybe like 5 inches. I think he talks like he's like, like he's turning into, like.
Bobby Kelly
I think he's turning into a child.
Sean Donnelly
Now, to be fair, I thought he did a great job playing piano alongside Dr. Moreau. I thought he was really wonderful.
Guest/Producer
Also, it seems like the wife's put like forcing to do all those.
Big J Okerson
Oh, yeah. I don't know what he looks. He's cursed at. Turn into a, like a doll or a toy or something.
Bobby Kelly
The funny thing is, I think his head is locked in the front position because when he turns, he has to turn his whole head with his body. He can't turn.
Big J Okerson
Just as watching him on stage now, I bet is a bummer. If you watch him do comedy on stage, I mean, it's gotta be. I mean, he walks like it's crazy looking. He looks like he has Paul, he got palsy or something.
Guest/Producer
He looks like Ed Sullivan.
Sean Donnelly
I was just in the lobby with Hugh Jackman. This is the opposite of that. You would think like that Hugh Jackman is 25 and he's 400 years old.
Big J Okerson
His mas, they're probably six years apart.
Sean Donnelly
Probably six years apart. Older.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Go back to the Reddit thing. I'd say this is great. Chris, you're so worked up. They held the shock button down on one guy for like 15 full minutes straight.
Guest/Producer
You would kill somebody.
Big J Okerson
You kill somebody.
Bobby Kelly
Well, you'd actually just get used to it.
Big J Okerson
Maybe you're actually right.
Sean Donnelly
Wait, did you guys.
Big J Okerson
I don't know. No.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, we do have to ask that question.
Big J Okerson
No, we didn't. It was brutal. But then. Okay, this is where it gets actually insane. The last girl tells them that she has a heart condition and that this could literally kill her. Could literally kill her. And they put the shock collar on her anyway. And Lewis is sitting there laughing like a maniac. Ian and Atelli are literally saying. Are literally saying, no. They're saying, no, don't fucking do that over and over. Even the people working the show in the back are telling them not to do it, and they do it anyway. We walked out when that collar went on her neck. Most of the audience walked out by then. Honestly, too, I don't know what happened after. I assume she didn't die because it's not in the news, but what the fuck? I'm not someone who gets offended by comedy. I came in there ready to laugh at dark shit. I don't care about edgy jokes at all. But this wasn't comedy. This was. Was just watching people force someone with a medical condition and is something that could actually hurt her. While everyone watches, I'm still thinking about that girl and hope she's okay. What the fuck, man?
Sean Donnelly
I will say, not the craziest take, not the crazy.
Big J Okerson
But it's also just like. It's weird. Everybody left. Like, the audience never left. The audience was there well into the commercial. He's back.
Sean Donnelly
He's back.
Ari Shaffir
I say this too. If you think Indians don't count as Asians, that's wrong. That's also part of it. So I don't know what he said while I was gone, but if it's going to Indians also.
Sean Donnelly
Oh, Jesus Christ. With his world musician haircut.
Bobby Kelly
Ah, you forgot something.
Big J Okerson
Would you forget your.
Guest/Producer
I'm roaming the Earth.
Bobby Kelly
Would you forget your yoga pad?
Sean Donnelly
He just immediately puts on black face as he leaves the studio.
Bobby Kelly
His spaceship's in the bag.
Big J Okerson
He does look like he's gonna appear over a hazy ridge, like, where it looks like there's fluid going through him. But it's just the.
Bobby Kelly
You know, he was at the train and he went, I forgot my bag.
Guest/Producer
He thought about the Indian line 20 minutes ago.
Big J Okerson
It's so funny. Did you say you were at Skankfest south and you didn't see Lewis to comedy? That's.
Guest/Producer
There you go. Was that you that wrote that? Who wrote that?
Big J Okerson
I don't know, but the comments.
Guest/Producer
It's true.
Jay
This has to be totally true.
Bobby Kelly
That's a troll. That's a troll.
Jay
Because you didn't even. You didn't do this. This didn't happen. She's, like, making stuff.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, this is just all made up. Nobody.
Big J Okerson
L. Oh, no, no. We. We zapped minutes with the condition.
Jay
Didn't get. She's making it out like you guys did.
Big J Okerson
I'll Tell you what, crazy.
Bobby Kelly
That didn't happen.
Big J Okerson
There may be nothing funnier than watching somebody do open mic comedy, though, while getting zot every couple seconds.
Bobby Kelly
I think they should do it. All of a mike should have that, buddy.
Big J Okerson
It was. I mean, it was so funny.
Sean Donnelly
Quality control, for sure.
Big J Okerson
He was doing good too. He was doing really good. But it was just like. He goes, and then she stands me up in the. And then, like. And then, you know, it's good because, like, so I called her again. We went out and it was just like. You'd see their face.
Bobby Kelly
You just got him a new kink.
Big J Okerson
It's so funny.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, you get the zots. That should be a show at Skag Fest.
Guest/Producer
Just.
Big J Okerson
Oh, my God.
Bobby Kelly
The Electric Collar comedy show.
Big J Okerson
Absolutely.
Bobby Kelly
You give the fans bands the actual button.
Big J Okerson
Just the fact that he's going, like, they say tort. Like you're torturing people. He goes, I mean, there's like, meetings about this. They make it seem like we're like, everyone down and lick our boots.
Bobby Kelly
We're like, so funny. A meeting with Ari Lewis and Jay is a. We had a meeting about this. We shuffled this around.
Big J Okerson
You want full disclosure? It's the biggest I told you so in Legion of Skanks in history for me. We had a meeting two weeks ago for this one. I think it's how we ended up at this. Maybe now it was from two weeks ago. But on our meeting, they were like. I think they wanted to get done the meeting quick because they were like, here's the idea. He goes, I think it's funny. We just eliminate half them right away. We just have them fight at the stand, like, you know, boxing, like headgear boxing gloves and fight. And I go, sounds hilarious. And they go, well, there's a girl. They go, there's a girl and a trans. We see if that works out now. I think it's hilarious again.
Bobby Kelly
Again.
Big J Okerson
But wall, while I'm thinking this is hilarious and wonderful, I'm going, but we can't do this to stand. They're not gonna let us do that. And it's like, we'll just have him fight behind us. Well, how about on the stage? I go, none of these things are gonna work. And they go, outside. I go, outside. Now we're talking. And it's like, so we'll do the show outside, and then while there's a show, you know, then we'll kind of like, you know, kind of ask for forgiveness instead of permission, you know, when you're already out there, right?
Guest/Producer
You already did It.
Big J Okerson
But you know, the clubs got gotta know now. Maybe we won't tell. All right, then we will tell the club. But Lewis's thing is. So this is. Again, it's a quality I don't have in this. I'm like, but they're not gonna let you do this. And he goes, well, here's what we'll do. Half the show downstairs, the stand after a half hour or a half hour of the show downstairs, then everyone goes upstairs and we set the cameras up upstairs. And then we do the thing outside. I go, the stand's not gonna let you bring the entire audience out of a room after one round of drink. This is a crazy. They're not gonna have let us book a half hour show. And he goes. And the whole thing was just like, they will. I'm gonna call Harari. These guys, they're gonna do what we say. We're Legion of Skanks. And then Sunday had to be like, guys, we gotta pivot. They came back and said,
Guest/Producer
guys, we can't call it Legion of Skanks anymore.
Big J Okerson
That's the biggest I told you so in history. I go, all right, guys. They go, that's good. So we're gonna do. We'll talk for a half an hour, then the fights. That'll be the whole show. We're good to go. We're outta here. I go, I don't think that's a full show, guys. I don't think we're gonna be able to do the thing. Fights to go, let me talk to them. And then it's always like, Joe Harari said, no way, it's impossible. Talk to Patrick. And then he's like, just heard back from Patrick's. He said, check with Chris. The legal. Sounds like it's not going to work out at all. Chris said, no possible way in hell.
Bobby Kelly
We have to pivot to electric collars.
Big J Okerson
It wasn't even. It was like. That was like the holding water until their arms dropped thing. It was like we had no. We didn't have much of a pivot because, like, it was like, yeah, we put all of our. All of our bank and having them fist fight, walk an entire club. Hey, let's not draw attention by everyone leaving a show, walking by the other show to go past a bar of people waiting for the next show to
Sean Donnelly
go outside and fight.
Bobby Kelly
I'm so glad I'm not starting comedy
Commercial Announcer
right now
Bobby Kelly
because I would definitely be attracted to this show and want to be a part of it. I'd be like, ah. All I had to do is just hang around and just wait for somebody to. Not just to show up. Now it's like, dude, put this on. You got a heart condition. Think about it.
Big J Okerson
I'll tell you. I'll tell you what. I wouldn't have survived in comedy for sure. Is that like how young in comedy people want to get on, like a Kill Tony platform. And what's even more would have hit me more like, I don't know how I would have handled like it getting popular so young, like three years in the comedy or something. I couldn't imagine getting popular. But more than that, my personal. If I. If that was like, I always said it about Kevin Hart. When he got his sitcom and it was canceled before it aired and he just keeps going. I was like, that's always. To me, I would have been like, that was everything I had. That's the sitcom I wrote. That was my idea. Like, I guess I'm not made.
Guest/Producer
Shot my shot.
Big J Okerson
I'm not made for this. So, yeah, I would have. Like, if I went on Kill Tony and they. Everyone just made fun of me and on me and it was like a bad set. I choked. I would have been devastated. I don't think I could have got on again. I go, I'm just known as that guy now.
Bobby Kelly
There is always the other way of just doing stand up until you get good enough to headline you.
Sean Donnelly
Bob.
Bobby Kelly
I know, I know it's the old fashioned way. I know, I know, I know.
Sean Donnelly
But you're always.
Big J Okerson
But you're only as much as you're. You're only gonna be as. As motivated as the opportunities that are available at the time. So probably all the two young things for me were like caring about, like, should I get on Letterman at three years in or something or whatever kind of like half hour special. Way too early hoping about for that stuff. There wasn't a thing of every night you can put up your set and clips.
Guest/Producer
There was like a ladder. There was like there you could. You could do all the stuff that got you to the point where you were like, experienced enough.
Bobby Kelly
We did have the table though. You did have to rub the gauntlet of that fucking night.
Guest/Producer
That was like street fight in the Tren type scenario. They got you better at stand up. And then show business wise, what he's talking about.
Bobby Kelly
I used to be up at night, like, do I look good? Is this okay? Yeah, I have to go do a spot at the Cellar. Last time I had to throw my whole outfit out.
Guest/Producer
When I first started there. I asked for mashed potatoes. And they gave me four pounds of mashed potatoes.
Bobby Kelly
I remember that.
Guest/Producer
And I had a black and red rugby shirt on. And this kid made fun of me for 45 minutes straight.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it was the funny.
Big J Okerson
I mean, it was fun.
Bobby Kelly
Mountain of mountain. I seeing that face, only eat potatoes. How do you not? How do you not? He should have been the potato guy.
Big J Okerson
All the potatoes.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, dude, it was.
Sean Donnelly
If Donnelly did potato performance art, it would be him.
Guest/Producer
Gallagher, but with a potato slapping a spoon into potatoes. But.
Big J Okerson
But it's true.
Guest/Producer
You got your. You got. I got on constantly. And that's just kind of a rite of passage.
Sean Donnelly
And now you go to the cellar table and it's like the table in Animal House where they put all the nerds that they don't want the crab.
Big J Okerson
You know, it is. We. I feel like every time we go to the cell where I was like the table that I would think you just go back and sit at. I feel like me and Bobby are interrupting young black people talking about young black people things. And we. Then we just. We sit down next to him like this. We go, oh, that feels good to take the day off. My legs
Bobby Kelly
interrupting progress. You know when I try to make it mean, it's. They're like, what?
Big J Okerson
See? Natterman's banged off into a corner eating boiled chicken off menu. It's ins.
Crack Amigo
Mean.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
It's insane. What's going on.
Bobby Kelly
Nor is at a side table by himself. It's like weird now. It's weird.
Big J Okerson
Can you fix Sean's arm? Chair arms. Cuz it's crazy. What's happening over there? That one's got to come all the way up. No.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, sorry.
Guest/Producer
Hi, guys.
Big J Okerson
Hi, guys.
Bobby Kelly
Stop eating those.
Big J Okerson
Cont. That guy.
Guest/Producer
I'm on mcovi.
Big J Okerson
That is so funny with Chris Catania. Goes like. Did you get into like a. Did a plane door open while you were on it? Like, why are you compressed?
Guest/Producer
Why are you that dude from He Man.
Sean Donnelly
Ram Man.
Big J Okerson
That's exactly what I was thinking of. He just popped up.
Bobby Kelly
His stomach is just bloated. I don't. It's a weird. Because he was a good looking guy. Like he was a little thin guy. Snl, energetic, running around. Maybe all those. When he was doing that, what was that monkey bit where he'd jump on the corky?
Sean Donnelly
Was that mango? Mango.
Bobby Kelly
Mango up his back.
Sean Donnelly
Mango, yeah. And then probably. Probably AKA oxycontin, but mango too. Mango too.
Big J Okerson
I think he did. Yeah, he did. He got a neck injury like from SNL sketch.
Sean Donnelly
Jesus Christ.
Big J Okerson
And what was it For I hope
Sean Donnelly
he got money from that.
Big J Okerson
He got a painkiller addiction, which his whole career it's called.
Guest/Producer
Aging wrestler body.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, I'm sorry, dude. Here, get up.
Guest/Producer
I didn't want to interrupt.
Big J Okerson
What was the thing?
Bobby Kelly
I got them.
Big J Okerson
What's the. What's the thing that broke his neck
Sean Donnelly
in a Golden Girl?
Bobby Kelly
It's alcohol, too, that he does have that alcoholic stomach.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, well, he was a problem when I did that show, Z Rock, his show, like Bollywood Hero, I think it was called that he did was on ifc, and we were like, co. What do you call that? Like, co. Promoting the shows everywhere. And he was always like, hey, we're doing a big photo shoot for. Doing a thing for a billboard or something. Like, he's two and a half hours late. All right, we're gonna do a bunch without him. And then he ended up not showing up at all. Like that kind of dude.
Guest/Producer
There's Craz wrote stories about him. Some guy I know opened up for him and they would drive him around the whole weekend. And he was like. He was just trying to get pills and all this stuff, whatever it was. And he said the last day he was there, he's supposed to pick him off the airport to go to the airport. And he wasn't at his hotel. He just wasn't there. And the guy was like, I'll just go home. And then he. I guess he had. He had his number. And he was like, hey, man, thanks so much. I'm back in la. He's like, I have your wallet and your keys from your hotel room. How did you get back? La. And he's like, I just got back. Don't worry about it.
Big J Okerson
That is weird being let down by somebody who's like. You see, as a higher up. If I was like, picking up a. I never worked at a. A white enough club where I was picking up like a mainstream headline or anywhere that, you know, I would have gotten like a, you know, Pablo Francisco being like, hey, can you get me coke? Like that would have bummed me the fuck out for sure. You know, I mean, seeing that, like, side of someone like that, I got
Bobby Kelly
bummed out seeing someone like Gilbert Godfrey. I got to drive the Middle Earth to the show.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
And it was at the aku. No, the Hukilao Chinese restaurant. And I was so excited. There's Gilbert Godfrey. I'm like, oh, this is great. He ordered a hundred dollars worth of Chinese food, didn't eat it, went on stage, walked every bomb for 50 minutes and didn't even Acknowledge the bombing. Walked off stage and took the hundred. Didn't even open. I thought it was going to get some food. Took the bag and took it in the car back to a hotel room without a fridge. And he was leaving the next day. I was like, what the is that?
Big J Okerson
It's so depressing. But, I mean, more of a let down. Like, I had a celebrity let down pretty early. I was saying I won a thing. And that part of my prize was a night or two at the Hudson Hotel, which I don't even know if it exists anymore. So I'm on 57th. It was really minimalist, but, like, nice. Fair. See? But like, tiny rooms, or at least the one they gave me. But just going down to, like, the hotel lobby, I met Leif Garrett and the actor Bill Nunn. Radio Raheem from school days.
Guest/Producer
No way.
Big J Okerson
And he's been in a zillion things. He was in the Spider man movies and stuff.
Guest/Producer
He's gonna do the right thing, I think, too, right?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, absolutely. That's where he is. Radio Rocky. Do the right thing. So he's. He was there. And then they came to my show. I was talking about my show. They came to my show with Caroline's, and then we went back to the hotel bar, and we're playing pool. I'm not really drinking at all. Bill Nunn gets obliterated, and, like, me and some other stranger had to, like, put him in his room in his bed. And I was so young in comedy still that I was like. I was like, I just met a celebrity. And then you're like, oh, God. He's a real person who has a real problem. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Guest/Producer
He did a bunch of stuff that day.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Sean Donnelly
He's a good actor.
Commercial Announcer
Is he?
Sean Donnelly
Oh, he's just act.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, he did pass away. Yeah. Yeah.
Guest/Producer
He's in Not Lethal Weapon.
Bobby Kelly
He's in one of those.
Guest/Producer
He's in one of the 90s.
Sean Donnelly
Yeah.
Guest/Producer
Oh, he did die. Oh, wow.
Jay
2016.
Big J Okerson
Mo better blues.
Guest/Producer
He's a thousand things.
Sean Donnelly
I. I got. I got hammered after the Ric Flair roast, and I ended up blacking out in the hallway, and I woke up, and I just saw this guy Speedo in front of me, and it was a wrestler. Do you need some help? Thank you. And then, like, he, like, brought me back to my room.
Big J Okerson
I was like.
Sean Donnelly
I was draped over, like, eleven and Stranger things.
Big J Okerson
I met him on date.
Sean Donnelly
So depressing.
Guest/Producer
Next day, you're like, does that happen?
Sean Donnelly
I knew because I got three texts
Bobby Kelly
from that, we're gonna take a Break. Yeah, we got a great show for you. We're gonna get into this. We're gonna. We're gonna make Jay believe. Right, fellas?
Big J Okerson
The Burbs Bros are here. Dan St. Germain and Sean Donnelly. They have a Patreon. Patreon.com Burbs Bros. Make sure you check them out and check out their YouTube page.
Bobby Kelly
Make sure you check out Ari Shafir's new storytelling show, the End. It's out now. Order now. Arishafir.com make sure sure you get it cuz it's really funny. We'll be right back.
Big J Okerson
I'm in Spokane speaking. Where are you?
Bobby Kelly
I'm going to the mountains.
Sean Donnelly
Nice.
Bobby Kelly
With Ari and Max and Joe Russell.
Big J Okerson
Oh, so many farts coming your way.
Bobby Kelly
We might not make it back.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Do you know there's nothing out in primitive camping that's going to be able to patch up the wound that is AR's.
Bobby Kelly
I have an filter.
Commercial Announcer
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Big J Okerson
Stop. This is Simplisafe. Police are on the way.
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Big J Okerson
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Episode: Reptilians w/Ari Shaffir & Dan St Germain
Date: June 11, 2026
This lively episode of The Bonfire is packed with the show's trademark blend of blunt, playful stand-up comic banter, comedy-scene gossip, pop culture roasting, and personal stories. Jay and Bobby are joined by Ari Shaffir, Sean Donnelly, and Dan St. Germain for a loose, joke-heavy hang, riffing on everything from aliens and conspiracy theories to writer’s rooms in comedy, roast battle war stories, and notorious wild tales involving comedians.
A key thread is the loose theme of conspiracy, alien skepticism, and "reptilian" humor—used more as a device for ribbing Ari Shaffir and the guests than a literal exploration of lizard people. Other recurring bits include who’s "really an alien," odd product reviews, roast joke origins, and notorious comics behaving badly.
(Start ~01:12)
(02:19–04:00)
(04:36–05:45)
(15:09–22:34)
(10:14–11:16)
(26:42–33:27)
(53:44–56:04)
(~41:52–53:19)
(58:58–61:38)
The tone is loose, irreverent, quick-jabbed, and extremely candid—insult humor and behind-the-scenes camaraderie abound. Nothing is sacred, and self-deprecation rules. Language is direct, pushing boundaries but always in the context of the comics’ decades-long friendship and the expectations of a comedy “green room.”
If you enjoy the inside baseball of standup, raunchy industry stories, and comics roasting each other (and themselves), this episode delivers in spades. While the “reptilian” theme mostly serves as a running joke, the main course is always the interplay of sagely irreverent veteran comics who have seen it all—and still can’t believe it most of the time.
Whether breaking down the absurdity of club shows or revisiting old writing table rituals, Jay, Bobby, and company offer both a backstage pass to the comedy world and a brash, cathartic group therapy session for fans and comics alike.