Resistance Bands with Aaron Berg

Summary

Podcast Summary: Resistance Bands with Aaron Berg

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
• Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
• Channel: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103
• Episode: Resistance Bands with Aaron Berg
• Release Date: January 29, 2025

---

1. Introduction and Guest Announcement

The episode kicks off with Big Jay Oakerson welcoming listeners and introducing the guest, Aaron Berg. Oakerson expresses his enthusiasm for having Aaron on the show, highlighting Aaron's upcoming performances.

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:09]: "Everybody, we got the great Aaron Burgess here today. Aaron Burgess filling in."

2. Personal Lives and Workplace Dynamics

The hosts delve into personal anecdotes, discussing their daily routines, interactions with colleagues, and workplace challenges. Robert Kelly shares a story about missing lunch due to unforeseen circumstances.

• Robert Kelly [03:05]: "I didn't eat my lunch."

Oakerson humorously teases Kelly about his work habits and the office environment, creating a relatable and candid atmosphere.

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:53]: "I can't get fat. I went back to fat eating this weekend, and here's the problem."

3. Weight Loss Journeys and Health

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around weight loss and health. Oakerson candidly discusses his gastric surgery and the lingering challenges he faces with his weight.

• Big Jay Oakerson [06:17]: "Since my gastric surgery, I can't eat, but the fat still lives there."

Kelly and Oakerson engage in a humorous yet honest dialogue about dieting, meal planning, and the struggles of maintaining a healthy lifestyle post-surgery.

• Robert Kelly [08:00]: "Avocado mayo in the squeezy. Because I don't like scooping it out."

4. Resistance Bands and Workout Routines

The core theme of the episode centers on resistance bands and their effectiveness in workout routines. The hosts reminisce about a Zoom workout they conducted during the pandemic using resistance bands.

• Robert Kelly [30:15]: "Everybody, I'm Lou. And today we're going to work out."

Oakerson critiques the effectiveness of resistance bands in building substantial muscle mass, sparking a light-hearted debate.

• Big Jay Oakerson [32:07]: "You can't get big off resistance bands. You can get toned."

5. Scheduling Conflicts and Management Issues

Tensions rise as the hosts discuss a recent meeting with Jim Norton regarding guest scheduling. Oakerson expresses frustration over perceived favoritism and challenges in coordinating guest appearances.

• Big Jay Oakerson [20:52]: "Aaron, I apologize. First of all, you're my guest and I'll take the hit. If I get fired because of you, so be it."

Kelly attempts to mediate the situation, emphasizing the importance of scheduling and maintaining a smooth workflow.

• Robert Kelly [27:03]: "It's Jim. He wants power."

6. Reflections on Childhood and Personal Relationships

The conversation takes a more introspective turn as Oakerson shares poignant memories from his childhood, touching upon his upbringing and the absence of a father figure. This segment highlights the emotional depth behind his comedic persona.

• Big Jay Oakerson [17:35]: "I love this kid so much. And I realized one of the reasons why I feel so good, I never had that in my life."

Kelly echoes these sentiments, fostering a moment of vulnerability between the hosts.

• Robert Kelly [43:09]: "You're one of us. You're not tall."

7. Gender-Neutral Bathrooms Discussion

A humorous yet critical discussion unfolds around the concept of gender-neutral bathrooms. The hosts share personal discomforts and societal observations, blending comedy with social commentary.

• High Five Casino Announcer [56:28]: "It's not okay."

Oakerson critiques the practicality and societal implications of mixed-gender facilities, injecting humor into the debate.

• Big Jay Oakerson [56:34]: "You can't have guys with their hogs out shaking their wieners in front of my wife."

8. Experiences with Inauguration and One America News

Kelly recounts his experience attending the Trump inauguration and interacting with One America News. The hosts discuss the dynamics of media coverage and political affiliations, weaving in personal anecdotes and humor.

• Robert Kelly [48:55]: "And I was like, no, they're not."

Oakerson humorously mocks the media's handling of political events, maintaining the show's signature blunt tone.

• Big Jay Oakerson [49:15]: "And I thought it was you who. Sure."

9. Guest Segment: Aaron Berg's Tour and Performances

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts shift focus back to their guest, Aaron Berg. They promote his upcoming tour dates and performances, encouraging listeners to attend.

• Big Jay Oakerson [59:22]: "For tickets and all the tour dates, visit aaronberg.com."

Kelly adds his own promotions, highlighting his comedy specials and upcoming shows.

• Robert Kelly [59:36]: "I'm going to be at the Kansas City Comedy Club this Friday and Saturday."

10. Closing Remarks and Final Banter

The episode wraps up with light-hearted banter between the hosts, reinforcing their camaraderie and mutual respect despite ongoing humorous jabs.

• Big Jay Oakerson [40:44]: "I love you too. Even you have an attitude and you're... you have a shooting position."

• Robert Kelly [41:07]: "A jag off. You don't want to like push it. You pussy like you want."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:09]: "Not because he looks like me."

• Big Jay Oakerson [06:17]: "Since my gastric surgery, I can't eat, but the fat still lives there."

• Robert Kelly [30:15]: "Everybody, I'm Lou. And today we're going to work out."

• Big Jay Oakerson [32:07]: "You can't get big off resistance bands. You can get toned."

• Big Jay Oakerson [56:34]: "You can't have guys with their hogs out shaking their wieners in front of my wife."

• Robert Kelly [43:09]: "You're one of us. You're not tall."

• Robert Kelly [48:55]: "And I was like, no, they're not."

• Big Jay Oakerson [59:22]: "For tickets and all the tour dates, visit aaronberg.com."

---

Conclusion

In this episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, listeners are treated to a blend of personal stories, humorous debates, and candid conversations about health, fitness, and workplace dynamics. The introduction of Aaron Berg adds a promotional flair, spotlighting his upcoming tours. Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain their trademark candidness, offering a mix of humor and genuine reflections that engage both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

The love affair event is back at Whole Foods Market through Valentine's Day with sales to help you celebrate that special. Someone set the tone with gifts like scented candles and whole foods market's 24 stem bunch of roses. Skip the reservation and make a sizzling surf and turf with deals on quality steaks, lobster tails and more dessert. Pro tip. You'll find their chocolate covered strawberries in the bakery department. Feel the love with delicious savings at Whole Foods Market.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

High Five Casino, everybody. High Five Casino lets you play your favorite slot in live table games like blackjack with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.

[Big J Okerson]

High Five Casino has a giant selection of over 1200 games, including hundreds of exclusive games only found on High Five Casino. It's always free to play and free coins are given out every four hours.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own high five moment? Well, visit high five casino dot com. That's high the number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary. Void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. Damn. Marcus King. So how old is he? 28.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

28.

[Big J Okerson]

28 years old and sings like a southern God. My God. I mean, he is so badass. He's a little chubby and he still could. You don't even see it. Yeah, he's got that baby face smile. It's got that little smile that. Those big teeth, cute little face he wears those red glasses. You can't see his eyes. What? He's thinking about you drinking whiskey while he's up there.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Is he?

[Big J Okerson]

I. Is he. He's drinking. Oh, I don't know what I saw in that class. Oh my God. You're a rat. There he is right there. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Bonfire faction talk 103 with Bobby K. Not Dan aka not Dan. Robert Kelly. Big G Okison is on the. The cruise right now. Shipwreck. Is that it? Rock Shiprock. He's out there with, doing his thing. Butterly and Fenoia. Yeah, he'll be back next week, I believe. And. But we're here. We're here. I'm here with the boys, DJ Lou Black. Lou and Jacob, the cute little boy that he is. Hi, buddy. And Christine. Just come back. Christine, are we getting fired? They had. They had to do a big office. Jacob made a big. You know, we have to go see Big Jim and he wouldn't tell us what it was about. It's nothing. It's nothing. You were gone the whole time. Gone. The whole break. And then you came in staggered. That means she had to stay after to get a talking to about something.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And you came in and you didn't get your lunch.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't eat my lunch.

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody, we got the great Aaron Burgess here today. Aaron Burgess filling in. What a treat he's going to be. Ottawa this weekend, the 25th and the 26. For tickets and all of the tour dates. Aaronberg.com One of my favorite people.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Not because he looks like me.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

It's what I want to look like. Not that he's my goal physically. If I could just be you.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Come on. You're doing great.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm doing all right, dude.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. You don't want the problems that come with this, man.

[Big J Okerson]

What fucking abs? Being able to tie your shoe.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, the abs are a problem. You don't want that. You don't want none of this.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't want the abs, dude.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You don't want this.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want the. I don't want to be able to take my pants down and not have anything flop out of my underwear.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I started. I'll start scratching my stomach now, and I'll just pull my shirt up on stage and scratch it so the girlies see a little bit of that.

[Big J Okerson]

If I did that, I'd hear a gasp from the. Oh, God.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

When girls see an elderly man with abs and he's up there calling people autistic and a bunch of racial slurs, they get all turned on.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm getting wet right now. Dude, you got abs, don't you? You got the.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I got top four. Top four, bottom two aren't in. I'm ready. I'm ready to go next level.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm ready to go back to being fat. You look so close.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Do you want to go fat?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I don't.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's winter. It's a good time to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not. I can't. I cannot do it. Oh, my God.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's not a health issue. You've cleaned yourself out. It's like a fast.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, go order pizza. Christine, get some pizza.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Pizza.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's the problem.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Ashburgers.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't get fat. I. I went back to fat eating this weekend, and here's the problem. Dawn went and she made chicken lemon soup with rice.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's not bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Hang on. I'm getting there.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Then she got some chips.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

What type of chips?

[Big J Okerson]

Costco. Big bag, family style, where you just reach in and it never. It never ends. I hate a bag of chips. Cause you Know it's gonna end. You go to Costco. It's like when I used to go to McDonald's, I used to get three large fries, put them in the bag. Not that I could eat all three fries, but I would never, ever get to the bottom of it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, you don't want to be at the end.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want to be at the end of a fucking McDonald's french fry labyrinth of facts. So I created a way. Never ending French fries. Yeah, three large. Dump them in the bag. Never ends.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Anything else or just those fries?

[Big J Okerson]

You can. No, of course. You get these. Double quarter pounder with cheese dose and then 10. Shut up. I've seen you eat. I've seen you and Jay fucking throw it down. Yeah. And then I'd get a 10 piece McNugget, because again, I don't want to get to the end of the McNuggets. When you get McNuggets and you get to the end, oh, God forbid you let somebody have one. And you know what I mean? I just like. I like never getting to the end of it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

So I would just order so much that I would just eat until my feet felt wet.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then I passed out somewhere like a fucking dirty pigeon.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's not good.

[Big J Okerson]

Not good. But since the surgery, since my surge.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Since my gastric slave, I can't eat, but the fat still lives there.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

What do you mean? You try to eat and then you're like, oh, I don't feel good.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I throw. I throw up.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's hot.

[Big J Okerson]

I. Yeah, it's kind of hot, right?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. Have you thrown up?

[Big J Okerson]

But, dude, I threw up Sunday night.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Where do you do it? Toilet.

[Big J Okerson]

She made the soup.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then she made. We got a rice cooker, which I recommend. Get a rice cooker if you like rice as much as I do. I love rice. I love rice.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

What do you put in the rice? Like a chicken fried rice or just plain steamed basmati?

[Big J Okerson]

No, dude, Jasmine.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Jasmine.

[Big J Okerson]

Jasmine. But here's my trick. Chicken stock instead of water. Cook it in chicken stock. The rice comes out nice and salty and tasting good. And there you go. And then the little butter on top, just to add things. Butter makes everything better. Even sex. Masturbate with butter. Whatever you got to do with butter. Slap a guy's face with a fucking thing of Fleshman's. Yeah, that one too.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And yeah, so I have the. She had the rice. We had the rice cooker, which is. Oh, I love it. Jasmine rice. Took a scoop of rice, put it in the soup. Then she made a roast beef sandwich on the bulky roe, cheese. Pickles. Mayonnaise.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Sweet pickles or sour pickles?

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, son. Sweet. Yeah, sweet. You don't go to roast beef with a sour pickle. I mean, sour pickles. For something else. Sweet. Sour pickles on the side.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Sweet pickle on the roast beef with the mayonnaise.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yep. Plain mayo or like a horseradish. Mayo.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, you could go horseradish, but we're not going horseradish. We're going to go avocado.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Avocado.

[Big J Okerson]

Avocado mayo in the squeezy. Because I don't like scooping it out. I mean, if you have. If you have a mayonnaise that you have to take the lid off and get a spoon, you're mentally ill.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I feel like I live in section eight housing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You have a flip phone if you have that.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I do. I have it right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I have it. It's horrible.

[Big J Okerson]

Everything should be in a squeezy bottle.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Everything.

[Big J Okerson]

Everything.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

When they never put ketchup in a. In a scoopy bottle, they used to.

[Big J Okerson]

Used to have the glass bottle. You had a slap on the side and have a technique to get it out.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, well, the knife on the top, you just hit it like that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. It's just barbaric. It's fucking barbaric.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. This plastic's good.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. The plant, you squeeze it, throw it away. Some fucking turtle chokes on it. A year later.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Do you get to throw your plastics away or does Don stop you?

[Big J Okerson]

No, we stop. We have the. We have the recycle behind the trash and then you got to take both out and blah, blah, blah. But luckily I have a young boy who I pay to do this now. So I'm at the age. He's at the age.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Aside from your son, you just hired a boy.

[Big J Okerson]

I hired a young Indian boy. I call him gangadin. He's eight and I own him. He lives.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Mr. Kelly, I do taking out recycling.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, you will. And don't bother my son or look my son in the eye while he's playing his video games.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Mr. Kelly, I can do playing with your son now that I've done my working.

[Big J Okerson]

You're done. After you get done rubbing my feet.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Mr. Kelly, when I am done rubbing under your feet, I can do wife's hair with shampooing.

[Big J Okerson]

I would like you to do wife's hair with your wife's hair. Can you please shave your wife's hair head and give it to my wife, Mr. Kelly.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I paid many cattle for my wife as dowry. And she's beautiful. Can she come in from shed to eat soup with rice?

[Big J Okerson]

No, she can't. She can eat soup on the back.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

She will eat soup on back in.

[Big J Okerson]

The back, by the graveyard.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Thank you, Mr. Kelly. I'm doing recycling.

[Big J Okerson]

You're welcome. Thank you. I appreciate you. I love you so much. Come here, let me kiss your cheek.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Give me a kiss in the mouth.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Do you know, this reminds me of back when I was in a river in Mumbai. So swimming. Dreaming of one day moving to America and hoping to take out Richmond's recyclings.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm glad I can make your dreams come true.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Everything. How come the President Trump told me I must go home?

[Big J Okerson]

You don't go home. Not you, but he tell me, no.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

The other ones I will do. Stay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you keep that accent up. You stay here.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We can do watching Harrison Ford and Yellowstone prequel.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. He. Where was I before we got into Gunga Din? I'm so fucking. I want one now. So I have. I want a. Oh, chicken soup, rice. Ball of rice. Yeah, chicken soup, roast beef sandwich. Now, when we usually eat, she'll give me a half a sandwich, couple chips, or maybe I'll share with her. We share now. We're old. We're fucking done.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's nice.

[Big J Okerson]

That's when you, you know, you're a finish. When you just go out to eat and you get one main course and a couple appetizers and you share. And you can see the disappointment on the waitress's face. Yeah, because you're not a fat fuck. That. Her tip's going down. Because I had a food problem. But we. She gave me that. And then I ate the whole soup. And then I ate the whole sandwich. Yeah, and then I ate a bunch of chips. And then I. I felt sick.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Immediately the mouth starts watering.

[Big J Okerson]

Mouth starts watering. And you what? I. And the stuff that's in your stomach gets pushed up.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Nice.

[Big J Okerson]

And she's like. She looked at me disgusted, not concerned. I can only say it was disgusted.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

She's like. Like, are you all right?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

She made it for you.

[Big J Okerson]

She was like, are you all right? You ate too much, didn't you? I'm like, yeah, you saw me do it, you clown.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Not her fault.

[Big J Okerson]

It's. It's part her fault. I would say 10 her fault.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

10 her fault, you know? And I said. I told her, I go, I can only eat a half a sandwich. And she was. I'm sorry. She said, I'm sorry.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, she owned it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. That's a battered woman. That's. That's an abused woman.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

She twitches that she says I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

And moves her head face to the glass too many times.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you food and make it for you and make you soup and then hand it to you while you sit on the couch with a blanket over your lap. You fat. Why don't you not eat it? Hey, when you feel something, stop.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Listen to your body, you tone deaf tub of shit.

[Big J Okerson]

It's unbelievable. Because I enjoyed it so much. Because I love the taste of food.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Sure.

[Big J Okerson]

I love food. I love it and it does. I don't love it as much as when I'm puking it back up. It's not as good.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

No, you don't like it. You're not going like, ha, I did it all and now it doesn't even count.

[Big J Okerson]

It doesn't.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Round two, lady.

[Big J Okerson]

Blah, blah. It's just phlegm and roast beef.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I have a sick enjoyment out of it.

[Big J Okerson]

I did. I felt like a fat model. And she kept going. You all right? Of course I'm all right. Asshole.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Where were you? Bathroom.

[Big J Okerson]

I was in the upstairs bathroom.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Toilet.

[Big J Okerson]

Toilet. Of course. What do you think? I puke at the shower and then push it down at my feet? Who does?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I puked in a sink once when I was drinking.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

And I don't know why, but it was my friend Matt Wall. He owns the.

[Big J Okerson]

Matt. How's he doing?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

He's doing great. He owns the Laugh Shop and he used to live in Vancouver. So he was away. He goes use my place. And it was this great condo and it was back when I was partying a pound red wine. Then I guess I just. In the sink and then I left the next morning. And he's like, did you puke at my sink? I'm like, I don't know. Did I? And he goes, yeah. And I'm like, dude, I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

I love that you fucking. You drink like Chrissy from Three's Company. I'm partying red wine by myself in a big glass. I was patting a fern. Old queen. I puked one time when I was young. I was 10. I got my 10th birthday. I used to hang out with this guy. He was like 30.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And I know it was weird and.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Like a foster home story.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it was just a dude. Dicky.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Oh boy. Gets worse. We called him Dicky Street. Grown up with the nickname for what he loved.

[Big J Okerson]

To show it Was this girl Patty? Patty, blonde girl, kind of trashy. She used to hang out with Dickie because he would buy her alcohol. I like Patty. So I would hang out with Dickie to get to Patty, right? And we would go. He would get us boo, like 7. 7. And he would get us shit faced at 10. At 10. And me and Patty would. As soon as Patty got drunk enough, she would make out with me.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

So I was like, how old was Patty?

[Big J Okerson]

Patty was like 13.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Ooh, look at you.

[Big J Okerson]

She had cans and ev. Yeah, and. And I remember I went one night on my birthday. Patty didn't show up. So it was just me and Dickie was weird. And I went back. He took me back to his house with his dad, who was like this fucking. Just this old decrepit man in a hoarder's house.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Dickie, who's the boy you brought with you?

[Big J Okerson]

That. That's Bobby. He's a good kid.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Hey, Bobby.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You're a good friend of Dickie's?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Hi. How are you? Good.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Well, you. What, you like seven?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what that is, but yeah, I'll take whatever you got. I'm. I'm just trying to make out with Patty, but she's not here.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Where is all big cans Patty?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. She didn't show up tonight, so I'm just hanging out with your son, sir.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That dirty slut Nikki. I told you that girl's trouble. She's running around.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I don't know if we're in the south, we're in Boston, but I mean, I hear coming down here to West Medford, Massachusetts. Yeah, dude, I. I went back to my house. This is crazy because I'm 10 and I was out after dark drinking with this fucking grown man. I believe my mom's age because my mom was a slut. Got pregnant when she was 15. Had me when she was 18, had my sister when she was 15, had me when she was 18. So I think there was. My mom might have went to high school with this guy.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

So I went back to the house. I fell asleep under the front porch in the dirt. And then when I was sober enough to go in the house, I went in just dirt. My whole front side was dirt. And I went in and I had to shit and I shit. And then I had to puke, so I puked in the sink. I just leaned over and puked in the sink. All noodles too, because my mom made me pasta that day.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Bobby, you have a nice dinner before you go out drinking with your 30 year old friends.

[Big J Okerson]

She came in, I was. I had my pants down. I had a big load in the toilet and I was scooping noodles out of the sink into the toilet.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Good for you.

[Big J Okerson]

She came in and punched me in the face into the hamper.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Your mom did?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Knuckled me right in the face. This you what?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I mean, sometimes I talk to you about things in my life that I think are bad because I think we have so many similarities. And then I listen to your stories now and I'm like, we have nothing in common.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You're Jewish, I'm Catholic, you're gorgeous. I'm not.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Your upbringing was horrific.

[Big J Okerson]

I had a fucking weird upbringing. But I think, here's the thing. I think that it's. I think back in the 70s and early 80s, that's what they did with kids. They didn't. They didn't care about us, so. They didn't care. They just didn't know they were supposed to care.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what I mean? Like, I was talking like, Max, I don't know if I ever said this before, but one of my greatest things ever is like, at night, dawn usually goes down and puts Max to sleep and lies with him and talks to him. And then he goes out and she comes up. But once in a while I'll do it because Don wants. I'll go down and I'll get in the bed and Max will grab me and pull me over to him and like, give me a. Like hold me.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And talk to me. And it is the greatest feeling I've felt in my life. No drug, no anything, fame shows has ever given me this holy shit feeling of happiness. Just pure. I feel. I love this kid so much. And I realized the one of the reasons why I feel so good, I never had that in my life. Did I have a dad ever? I never had. This is going to sound a little gay. Had a man in my bed that I could hold. You know what I mean? I never ever, not one time in my life have I ever rolled over with a man, a father figure that loved me or held me. I've never had that. So it's. It's me knowing that my kid loves me, but it's also me kind of reliving my fucking stupid childhood, going, I wish, you know, I finally have it. You know what I mean? It's crazy. Crazy that that's the greatest part about having a kid is that you get to fix all the shit that happened to you. They. Everything that was Ever done to me was done to me. I didn't do any of this shit. Didn't do any of it. All of it was done.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And in the 70s and 80s, they just didn't know. They didn't fucking know. They didn't know to, you know.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It was such a great time, wasn't it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You get to jerk your friends off and not tell anybody. Do you go on a podcast later in life until everybody. And then everybody knows and then they come up to you at the end of the show. You really jerked your friend off. Yeah, yeah.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We had a secret for years.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Now it's out there. So anyways, we. We were doing the show and they got sucked up to the. The upper echelons of serious satellite. And, you know, things are a little. I mean, you know, Norton's gone, there's people getting fire. It's a bell.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. What's this?

[Big J Okerson]

They're making me use that now.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

The bell?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they're like, you have to use that.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Like morning Zoo radio.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they want. Hey, we're back. Anyways, look. And they got sucked upstairs and then they come back. What? What happened?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Nothing. Jacob just has energy of like everything.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, talk to you.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

But just coming from you, it seems dire.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that. No, that you're wrong.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

No, it's like.

[Robert Kelly]

It's your personality, the whole room, like, what?

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

What? I said nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

How about this? How about this? This, this way I would have done it. Hey, Christine, real quick. Jim wants to give us. Talk to us for two seconds. No big deal. You did say that you went. You went. Christine, Jim wants to talk to us upstairs. About what?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I did tell you. I told the whole room.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't tell us.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, I did.

[Big J Okerson]

No. What'd you say?

[Robert Kelly]

I said it was about scheduling. Guest scheduling. That's it. No, and I said, because no big deal.

[Big J Okerson]

So he didn't want to. He was mad that Aaron's here today. No, he doesn't like Jewish people. He's, he's.

[Robert Kelly]

He's.

[Big J Okerson]

He's Free Palestine.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This is a whole thing now with this guy. I mean, I mean, he's been doing it non stop.

[Big J Okerson]

Aaron, I apologize. First of all, you're my guest and I'll take the hit. If I get fired because of you, so be it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Viva is real.

[Big J Okerson]

Viva. Thank God the hostages are back. How excited are you? There's three Modi. Yeah, One of them's got.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

One of them's missing a bunch of fingers. It's Two and three quarters people.

[Big J Okerson]

Those are the ones that are still alive. I'm sorry. That's terrible. I apologize.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

They're going to be coming back every day. He said that yesterday. And I was like, no, they're not.

[Big J Okerson]

How do you know?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's. I mean, this thing's been going on too long.

[Big J Okerson]

Trump is in. Yeah, hang on really quick. What was it?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You got fired.

[Robert Kelly]

Exactly what I told you.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Ad sales. We can talk about it after the show.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Christine and Jay, you might have a.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Meeting in another month.

[Big J Okerson]

This is the problem with the ad sale. When I first came on, they were like, oh, we do these zoom meetings without sales, where you guys go on and make everybody laugh, and it's great. And they. Oh, Dan and Jay used to do it all the time. We did it once.

[Robert Kelly]

No, they did it twice.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, good.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Seven and a half years.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And you're doing another one.

[Big J Okerson]

That's all I wanted to hear.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

You're doing another one. It's tentative in March.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This is good. So this was a good meeting.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

There's literally nothing bad. It's just Jacob's energy.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

It was you being. All of you going, what? What? What? And I. I don't know how many times to say nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

I think you like it. I think this is your power move. This is why Louis Gomez is always late to things. It's a power move.

[Robert Kelly]

I specifically told J.

[Big J Okerson]

Go the entire room what this was about. Oh, my God. I don't want to get in trouble with Louis either. He listens so he has people listen. Listen to the show. If they talk about me, write it down, will you?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want to change subject.

[Big J Okerson]

No, there's no change in the subject. You're. Listen. You know, I have a delightful energy. Okay?

[Robert Kelly]

We have so optimistic. It's just sunshine.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I have a delightful energy.

[Big J Okerson]

When we do it, we do a little zoom thing every Monday.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Which I just found out about. I was like, oh, I guess it's boys only. That's crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not up at 10. I'm up at 10.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I was up at 9 today.

[Big J Okerson]

But you're not up regularly at 10.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

You know what?

[Big J Okerson]

You're right.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I don't want to go your stupid meeting.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why boys rule.

[Robert Kelly]

You work comedian hours.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, screw you guys.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I'll be laying in bed with my dog and my boyfriend.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not that we don't. You can. We'd love. You're welcome to haven't. Listen, first of all, it started very. When we. We started. It Just to get the. All my. It's.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

First of all, it started when you started.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it started when I started because of all. Hey, you know what? You don't even deserve to be there because you don't pink any of my videos anyway.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

You don't talk about your videos. Yeah, we get pinked when you talk about them.

[Big J Okerson]

We do talk about them and they get pinked. Not all of them. We've talked.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I'm sorry if I've missed one or two.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you haven't let. That's why you're not too wet through this attitude. I'd rather take. I'd rather take curmudgeon face.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I like our one on ones. I, I actually before I sent you the spreadsheet today, I went through and I was like, pink, pink, pink. I had to make sure it was updated.

[Big J Okerson]

You updated pinks. Okay, good people don't know that little context before we have to go back up the office. Little bonfire context we have. I send. We all send videos to a text thread of things we can talk about on the show. Topics maybe if we wander off the path and usually we just go off. But once in a while we'll go to a topic and things we need to, you know, get out on the show. Current events, whatever. And Christine has a big. What would you call this? A spreadsheet of all the topics. And we go back through them and apparently I only. My things have only been pinked three or four times out of hundreds.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Of them.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

That's because we don't. Okay. These, by the way, are. It's mostly reels. And we did we talk.

[Big J Okerson]

What does mostly reels mean?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think anyone's actually focusing too much on the threads. I can give you example. Yesterday.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Louis Johnson sent a clip of Theo Vaughan falling over in a chair.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And then 45 minutes later, you sent a clip of the Ovon now falling over in a chair.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, now let's, let's look at this. Let's look at. Talk about. Your tone's good on this one. Is this your tone you're talking about? This sunny disposition you're always in?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll give you that one.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you very much, Jacob. I appreciate that. Man to man. Here's the deal. Is that he sent that my phone was not with me when I picked my phone up. I saw it and just sent it first and then noticed later that it already been sent. Do you understand that. That I don't hold my phone on me all the time like some people in here.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Whoa.

[Robert Kelly]

How do I know? I mean, that one time you didn't have your phone.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't have my phone. And when I got my phone that came up, immediately sent it over because I'm doing my thing, my little, you know, influencer thing. And then I looked and it was a double. So what? It was a.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not a big deal.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it seems like a big deal.

[Robert Kelly]

It's using it. It's a good example.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not an example. I send a lot of stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

I love this stuff. And we go over it.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I hate when he in our boys meeting, he really does get you going. And then he backs out. He really gets you fired up and goes, what? What's wrong? What did I do? You know what, Jacob. All right, Christine, turn the heat down. He doesn't turn the heat down. And turn the lights off.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

He doesn't like this stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

So cold in here.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you know what?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I just turned it up because it was a little cold.

[Robert Kelly]

I know.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I'm with you, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

And then Bobby down. Don't you ever turn the heat up. Just because Jay's not here doesn't mean I'm not the fucking. But so you went upstairs and what happened?

[Robert Kelly]

And Jim went over how he wants us to go over guest hosts when one of you is out.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, this is about me. It's very clearly about me.

[Big J Okerson]

It's about. I'll tell you what it's about. It's about Jim.

[Robert Kelly]

It's his power. He wants power.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Jim.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Why is there coming in?

[Big J Okerson]

Were they mad? Were they mad that, you know, let you guys know the pre show Thursday, the great Jim Norton was on. Was that what it was about?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it was about. It was about letting him know ahead of time because we didn't give him the guest. He doesn't care about the. It's about when he gets it.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I sent stuff. I sent stuff for you late this week.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yes, it's about me.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

It's not about you.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Everybody knows I'm Persona non grata over here.

[Big J Okerson]

You are you. Whatever that means. You are that.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It means person not free.

[Robert Kelly]

It's going. It was just working out a. He wants a timely schedule for a two week window for guest host when.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Aaron Berg comes in.

[Big J Okerson]

He wants a what?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Two week window for guest host so.

[Robert Kelly]

That we can all go over the guest host so that one of you are not in.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

So why now I got to do better than I'm doing?

[Robert Kelly]

Because you guys are the hosts of the show.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I mean, the pressure's on me. So this talk is boring. We got to elevate this show.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's get it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

If I don't kill this show, I'm done here.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't kill the show. If you don't do it today, I'm fucking done here. You're done here. You'll never be on again because Jay doesn't like you.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. Then she's done.

[Big J Okerson]

No, she'll never be done.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You sure?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Jay's chick. They live together. They're not married.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's just gonna be me and you. Don't.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. Dig. What? You're not married yet? Let me get to the good part.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

And they've shown you.

[Big J Okerson]

I was trying to set you up. That you should be married.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Are you Jay, the guy opposite Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

Shut.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Your face is always replaceable. That's why they got rid of the guy before you.

[Big J Okerson]

They didn't get rid of him. I think he left.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No, they got rid of him.

[Big J Okerson]

Ah.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I heard the whole story.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, did he? Did they really? They fired Dan?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. And then they brought you in.

[Big J Okerson]

That's interesting that they did that.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

So that, you know. So your position's not safe.

[Big J Okerson]

So what you're saying is that Christine and Jay are really the ones running the show?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

No, I'm. You're my leader.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm what?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

You are my leader. You and Jay are our leaders.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you say that again? Just the first part? I know. I like that. That's kind of hot. Good friends, chicks, and you're my leader. That really turned me on.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

My boyfriend's away on a cruise.

[Big J Okerson]

You're my leader. Bobby. Look at me. Leader, leader. Lead me. Where you want me to go, Bobby Miller.

[Robert Kelly]

It had a nice ring.

[Big J Okerson]

It did have a nice ring.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Well, we've learned, too.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Yeah, he's your leader, too.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

You were talking about your. Your weight and then. But I wanted to say that the Bonfire boys did a workout yesterday. Me, Lou and Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

I heard about this workout. You guys did a Zoom workout with rubber bands?

[Robert Kelly]

Resistance bands.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This is stupid.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

We did that once in the Pandemic.

[Robert Kelly]

It was great.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Oh, my.

[Robert Kelly]

And they never did it again.

[Big J Okerson]

But you guys didn't do it for a bit. You guys did it to actually get.

[Robert Kelly]

It to break a sweat.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Resistance bands on Zoom.

[Big J Okerson]

So first of all, you guys, who put this together? Jacob.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Right? Everybody, I'm Lou. And today we're going to work out.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

And I guessing nobody recorded the Zoom. This is crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't record it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not about show Content. It's about getting huge.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We were on resistance bands on Zoom.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell. I'll have you know James Grage.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

The guy we follow.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacked just because of resistance.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Just resistance. Nothing to do with steroids or food or just working out?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Show me a picture of this.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't build muscle with resistant.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't dare say anything against James Grace.

[Big J Okerson]

We're going to say a lot against them. First of all, were you wearing a half shirt? Because if you're not wearing a half shirt, I want nothing to do with this work. I wasn't wearing a half shirt.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, like a tank top with, like, the bottom cut off.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. There's no way.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This guy does not just do resistance.

[Robert Kelly]

Got a hot wife.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

That's his good friend David. Sorry.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, yeah. These guys are tricking you. Do they sell these bands?

[Robert Kelly]

He sells them.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, exactly. You're an Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

You are about the sales.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

You're major weightlifting.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This guy's a bodybuilder.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he got in. James got into a car accident and could only use resistance bands. And that's his body and resistance.

[Big J Okerson]

That was his body after the car accident when he did juice and lifted weights.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

He doesn't do juice, so he was already in shape.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't know.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

This is his maintenance buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

I will give you.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You do not get legs like that with resistance.

[Robert Kelly]

The guy on the left is not the resistance band.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Both resistance band guys.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. David Marin, his good friend, is only there as a guest.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. There's no way he got that jacked with rubber bands.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he did.

[Big J Okerson]

He did not. Oh, Lou has his band, so you guys have his bands?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I have my own band.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you have his bands?

[Robert Kelly]

I want.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This is one of them.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This is one of his resistance bands.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a resistance band. Not his brand.

[Big J Okerson]

Why did you give me the little one? Why'd you give. Why'd you give him the strong guy one and me the little girl one? That's kind of. That's kind of. That's kind of messed up. He's like, bobby, you take this one. I take. Dude, take your shirt off while you do it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I mean, it's a good. It's a good pump. I'm not gonna lie.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not gonna get huge.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, you are.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't get big off resistance band. You can get tone. You can get toned.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you can get. Look, James Gray huge.

[Big J Okerson]

You cannot get that big. Are you crazy?

[Robert Kelly]

He did.

[Big J Okerson]

He did not.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

He was already that big.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he was a weightlifter and then he got into an accident and then he. Then he had. Then he trained. This is like a year and a half, only on band.

[Big J Okerson]

So he got into a car accident and then severe car accident. Keep doing this. Keep working out to the music. You guys, ignore Aaron working out. Can you please play this in the studio so you can get some really motivation going? I have to turn up your mic. There you go, everybody. It's hot. I like it. It's hot.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine's into James. Told me.

[Big J Okerson]

We're all into James. Look at him.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you want. I do want to look like him.

[Big J Okerson]

You're never gonna look like him.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not a.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think I'm not, but I'm telling. I look good.

[Big J Okerson]

You look good.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You can get a pump with these. You cannot get that muscular with these.

[Big J Okerson]

You're 100%. You're out of your mind.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You do it then.

[Robert Kelly]

I have been doing it and I.

[Big J Okerson]

Am in shape for how long?

[Robert Kelly]

Four years.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's a 20 year ride.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

It's getting crazy in here, guys.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

But I had to switch off of weightlifting because of my surgery.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

So everybody that's doing these bands, something bad has happened to him. No, he doesn't say. That's not true.

[Robert Kelly]

He would not say only do bands.

[Big J Okerson]

You're really pissing Aaron off right now.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

This is not.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not against weight training. He does weight training now.

[Big J Okerson]

He does. Of course he does. He did it before.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's how he got big.

[Big J Okerson]

And then he got a bunch of.

[Robert Kelly]

But he didn't lie about that. That's the.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I mean, this guy. This guy's in good shape. What do you think I look like this in a month?

[Big J Okerson]

He is not going to sell these bands to a bunch of alpha males. He had to create something for a bunch of beta males who follow him who are going to go on a zoom together. That's why I said, does he sell workout?

[Robert Kelly]

I'll do this workout with you. I want to see you come complete. I want to see you. Tell me it's easy afterwards.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I mean, it's not easy. It's not easy.

[Robert Kelly]

No, tell me it's not easy.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I'll tell you.

[Robert Kelly]

Cake. You got it, Bob.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's not easy, but I'm telling you, you're not gonna look like a champion bodybuilder.

[Big J Okerson]

I will do this with you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but he's dieting. He's dieting.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course, only if we can record it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't care if you record it. But I did this because I said he wants to exercise.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You should exercise.

[Big J Okerson]

Why would you say it like that?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Because he should.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, relax. Don't say it like that.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Everybody should.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay? Chill out. Everybody in this room needs a little bit. Except for you, Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

No, but Lou quit smoking, so now he's. Now he's getting into health. And. And so we did the workout yesterday, and he was a trooper.

[Big J Okerson]

Who was for you, who was the leader, Jacob?

[Robert Kelly]

I am.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Come on, ladies.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I hear a little bit of yours?

[Robert Kelly]

You got it. Push one more.

[Big J Okerson]

And then Jacob. Don't forget Jacob moans and. And groans when it's tough.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I'm really sweating while I'm doing.

[Big J Okerson]

How do you. What do you sound like? What is it? What is it?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's what a rat.

[Big J Okerson]

Does he. Does he use guy like words like, hey, fellas, let's get it going.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Nobody gonna kick sand in your face at the beach this summer.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, I'm not. I'm not saying it's, like, completely effective over zoom.

[Big J Okerson]

You want to ask the girl to the dance? Follow me. Three weeks. I'll have you tip top.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I said, let her go, Biff.

[Robert Kelly]

I feel that Lewis and Lou got. My authoritative personality came through the zoom.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't even have the bands, and I was. I was flush. What were you using, fucking elastics? Well, I had the medical. Medical bands.

[Robert Kelly]

He had the wrong bands.

[Big J Okerson]

He had medical bands? Last time he was in rehab, he.

[Robert Kelly]

Had therabands instead of the band.

[Big J Okerson]

But I ordered them from these guys. Of course. They're in my house now.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

180, 40 bucks.

[Big J Okerson]

I wanted the cheapest ones. Jacob had some expensive ones.

[Robert Kelly]

I sent him three different versions.

[Big J Okerson]

How much. How much of yours?

[Robert Kelly]

They don't have mine anymore. That's why I want Christine's business.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine's what?

[Robert Kelly]

They ordered the bands that I lived. I've been with Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

You and Jay have bands? Yeah. Really?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Yeah, we ordered them and we all did the workout together during the pandemic. But, like, one time.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you. I would have done it every day with you. I didn't quit on you. I didn't quit on you. You quit on me.

[Big J Okerson]

What are they doing now? They holding chip bags closed.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

They're just wound up in the bottom door. I just had to check the gym. I started going to the gym again, but I just looked and I was like, wow. I feel like I haven't been in a while. It was a month ago. It's amazing how quickly you can just have not worked out for a month.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm going to tell you right now what a great gift for Valentine's Day. A nice set of bands. A girl loves that. Here, use these. Yeah, get in better shape.

[Aaron Berg]

Welcome to Nada Yada Island Next on Nadia Yada Island.

[Big J Okerson]

I knew I deserved so much more so I left.

[Robert Kelly]

I finally switched to Metro and got.

[Big J Okerson]

What I was looking for.

[Aaron Berg]

Get one line for only $25 a month with Autopay.

[Big J Okerson]

Just bring your phone to Metro and experience all the data you want on.

[Aaron Berg]

The largest 5G network.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not a Yada yada.

[Aaron Berg]

Only at Metro By T Mobile first month is $30.

[Big J Okerson]

Bring your number and ID offer.

[Aaron Berg]

Not available if with T Mobile with.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Metro in the past 180 days hey.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We all know to consider our pits when it comes to odor, but what about the other odor zones?

[Big J Okerson]

We really do have a lot of zones.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We have to cover your stank zones.

[Big J Okerson]

Stank zones.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Missing that coverage keeps you from smelling and feeling your best. Keep every zone covered with the ultimate odor defense Player Dove Men plus Care Whole Body Dio which keeps you smelling fresh and feeling confident no matter what your day brings.

[Big J Okerson]

I love a Whole Body Tackle Whole.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Body Odor with Doves Men plus Care Whole Body Dio spray. Dove Men Whole Body Dio defends against all your odor zones from Pitts Privates to feet with long lasting 72 hour protection. You'll be covered for morning kickoff through triple overtime. Dove Men Whole Body do goes on instantly dry with an aluminum free vitamin E infused formula. So tighten up defense against those odor zones this season. Find Dove Men Whole Body D O at Walmart today.

[Big J Okerson]

You'll say you'll learn a new language each year, but few actually follow through. Babbel makes it easy for you to learn one in less time than you think. Babbel's 10 Minute Lessons, created by over 200 experts helps you start speaking a new language in three weeks or at your own pace. With focus on practical real world conversations. It makes learning to communicate easy and effective. I use Babbel for the last year and it helped me out. When I went to Cuba I understood I need to know Spanish and it really bothered me that Ari when the hurricane came he knew how to get food. I didn't know anything and this is what I love about it too. It sends you reminders because if you forget during the day it will come down with a pop up that will remind you, hey, why don't you take a couple minutes and learn a new language. The app is easy Fun. Let's get more of you talking in a new language. This year Babbel is gifting our listeners. Check this out. 60% off [e-mail] right now get up to 60% off babbel.com bonfire spelled B A B B E L.com bonfire babbel.com bonfire rules and restrictions may apply.

[Aaron Berg]

Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the Internet and cable tv or as your mom called me, that sports gal from Celebrity Jeopardy. I have a new podcast called Casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found. Just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights and good old fashioned drama. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a die hard fan or vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app, Pandora or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always un smash it.

[Big J Okerson]

Back to the show. I just want to say you love me.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, that of course that goes without saying.

[Big J Okerson]

I love you too. Even you have an attitude and you're. You have a shooting position.

[Robert Kelly]

My. My workout leader mentality. Like I think I'm very inspiring. Wait till you see me lead a workout. Lou, give me your impression.

[Big J Okerson]

Was I. I didn't want to do it and I wouldn't do it if Jacob didn't push us to do it. I bet you Lou wouldn't have done it either. So that was great. And during it he's pretty good, I got to admit. He's pretty good at what? Going one more because.

[Robert Kelly]

A jag off. You don't want to like push it. You pussy like you want. You don't want to tell. Turn them off. I didn't want anyone to be one and done.

[Big J Okerson]

So did. Did they. Were they keeping up with it and you were motivating them? What would you say?

[Robert Kelly]

I thought.

[Big J Okerson]

What would you say?

[Robert Kelly]

I thought they did fantastic.

[Big J Okerson]

Who did better? Which Lou did better?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, that was his first time doing it, ladies.

[Big J Okerson]

So he was.

[Robert Kelly]

He was not as and he didn't have bands. So I can't say that he was.

[Big J Okerson]

He was just using his underwear. His red underwear.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he was like. It was as if he had invisible resistance bands. Like he would hold like go like this. But there was no actual weight.

[Big J Okerson]

You were doing. You were doing pantomime workout.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Pantomime workout.

[Big J Okerson]

Two other men.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You guys are the guys stuck in a box. And I have to do these bicep curls.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are the gayest people ever. You've done nothing today.

[Robert Kelly]

I told him there's non band work.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Workouts you can do. Why would you do a band work?

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you mime a workout?

[Big J Okerson]

Why would you do a plank?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I'm gonna go to the gym and mime like I'm bench pressing this.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. There's so many calisthenics.

[Robert Kelly]

Because he told me that he had the. The resistance band. So by the. When we were all set to do it, and he pulls out this. This theraband that's 4 inches wide.

[Big J Okerson]

You just went to Rite Aid real quick.

[Robert Kelly]

And I said, I don't want you to get intimidated. I want you to do what you can.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's a leader right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me just say something, Jacob. You'll never have to worry about that.

[Robert Kelly]

About the workout, not me, please.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want you to get intimidated.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to reiterate because I feel bad. I admire your confidence, but I have to say this every time. Bobby, you're one of us.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

You're one of us. You're not tall.

[Big J Okerson]

You got. Are you calling me a.

[Robert Kelly]

You're one of us.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a short man.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, a short king. You have the. You come off like you're not. And sometimes it's good. And sometimes it breaks my heart because I feel like I gotta break it to you, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

I want to tell you something right now. I'm five eight. I am.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm. What?

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe you were.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That happens.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you call me old and short?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That happens. I used to be 5 7. I'm like 54 and a half now.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you can't be that.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I'm telling you. Yeah, I've lost height.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby, no one under. No man under 59 is a real human being. That's full human being.

[Big J Okerson]

This is your hang up. I'm five eight. I am perfect movie star height.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a full inch. Look under the human being height.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's your spooky young white coin. The term, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

This is what the world says before that.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I. First of all, I'm five eight and a quarter.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you're not.

[Big J Okerson]

How do You. I just got measured.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I bet you a quarter you're not.

[Big J Okerson]

I just. Yeah, I just got measured last week at the doctor.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not five'eight you're not.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Well, Mr. Kelly, five'eight and a quarter, and your weight loss is going great. Just make sure you don't throw up any soup this weekend.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Oh, look at these notable short kings.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Danny Glover, Bruno Mars, five'five What up?

[Big J Okerson]

These are all. Listen, how tall are you? Jacob? 5'six I'm sorry. Did I do that?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but I don't lie. You.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't lie.

[Robert Kelly]

I know I'm not tall. You feel that? You think you are.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't feel that I'm tall. I just don't feel that I'm small.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I carry myself tall, and I'm very small.

[Big J Okerson]

You are small.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, but I carry myself tall.

[Big J Okerson]

You do, because you're huge.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You look fantastic. God damn it. You look good. When you were working out, I couldn't stop watching your arms.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, right.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you kind of.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. It's like when another man's, like, working out and his veins are all there and his muscles. You just look at him and you're like, I don't want him, but part of me wants to be him. And it's like, look how good he looks. And then you start judging your body against his, knowing that you could be there if you really wanted to. You just stare at him longingly. Picture him covered in oil. Like your body covered in oil.

[Big J Okerson]

We really need to have, like, talk to Jim, like, a couple weeks out about the guests. I think. I think this meeting was actually a good thing, maybe.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

By the way, I reject the term short king. It's a mock. It's a mock term, and there's no such thing.

[Big J Okerson]

There's no such thing as a short king.

[Robert Kelly]

It was a tall person trying to put down a short person by saying short king.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

First of all, it's short Kang with an A is the way I say it. Short king.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it says. It's coined by a comedian anyway, so that's. It is a joke.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's what they say. But Jabouki, who did it? Jaboukie Young White.

[Big J Okerson]

Who?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Jaboukie Young White. Son of Jaboukie Old White or Jabouki Not White. He was a comic in New York for a while, and he kind of blew up real quick.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Was he on Daily Show?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I think so. He was.

[Big J Okerson]

What does he look like? I'm at the age where I have to see somebody's face.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I Mean, he was nothing in and out of the New York scene in what, like a year? Probably.

[Big J Okerson]

That's him.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No, that's not him. That's Al Roker.

[Big J Okerson]

He looks like Jabouki. Old white.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's Jabuki. Old black.

[Big J Okerson]

There's Jabu.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

He used to come around. He was. He had some very.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It was like alt comedy.

[Big J Okerson]

But I like his hair, though. His hair is adorable. I like a nice.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Oh, he's a cute fella. I think. I think he likes the company of men.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, who doesn't? I mean, who doesn't like the company of men? He's got. I like his hair. Is he Spanish? Halfway Half black, half. Half white.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Grappled with playing gay as a student.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a great mix, isn't it? Half white, half black. What a good mix. I mean, I wish I was half white, half black. I'm half white, half Turkish.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You gotta. You could be.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you looking at me like that for? No. So, Aaron, you went. This is crazy. You went to the Trump inauguration, right?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

How did you. Did you pay for tickets? Did you get invited?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I got invited. Here's what happened.

[Big J Okerson]

Who invited you?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

One America News. Do you know who they are?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Few years ago, I wasn't on the.

[Big J Okerson]

Kumia network for four years. I'm sorry.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's actually how I found out about it. Of course it is. How are they doing now?

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

The Cumienn Network.

[Big J Okerson]

They're doing. I don't know. They still are. That was. That sounds like a setup for me to say something bad. You piece of shit.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I don't think.

[Big J Okerson]

Doesn't he have a new network?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No, he does his own thing.

[Big J Okerson]

He doesn't have a. He has a new network or something, right? Like speak free.com or something?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No, no, I think he just doesn't.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. Yeah.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Anyways, One America News, couple years ago, when Trump was president, the first time he got mad at Fox, he was like, I don't like Fox anymore.

[Big J Okerson]

And then he does get mad like a child. He really does. I don't like Fox. I'm going to start my own thing.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's exactly it. So One America was like, hey, we love you. And he's like, I love you. And so he started going on One America News.

[Big J Okerson]

He has fat chick energy. I love you. I love you, too. And then I'll buy you a cappuccino machine.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

They were this network that blew up because Trump endorsed them a few years ago. And so they got White House access and Chanel they got what? White House access. Like, they were the number. They'd take all the questions. They'd get to ask more questions than msnbc.

[Big J Okerson]

Just the way you said White House was a little weird.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Well, because I had White House subs last week.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not what I meant. Anyways, go ahead.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

White House.

[Big J Okerson]

I was saying it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

White House. So Chanel Rion was like the number one correspondent. She'd go there all the time. And then this. And then Covid happened, and they're like, hey, we think hydroxychloroquine would be good. What was the thing that Rogan tells everyone to take? And now people take it.

[Big J Okerson]

And it was glue. No, it wasn't Elmer's. No, it was the horse peroxide.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No, the horse thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Alcohol.

[Robert Kelly]

Horse tranquil.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Ivermectin.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Ivermectin. Ivermectin. They were like, ivermectin.

[Big J Okerson]

And I thought it was you who. Sure.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

They go, this is fake news. You're canceled. They canceled One America News. So now One American News is still a network. And I do like news hits with them once in a while. And so I was on Trump's email list. I donated some money. And then Trump goes, hey, who'd you vote for? Voting for Trump, very clearly. And then he sent me, like, not him, but whoever asked for the money, they go, hey, here's some passes. So I post on Instagram, I go, I'm going to the inauguration. Then my friend at One America News goes, you're going to be here? And I go, yeah. He goes, come do some news while you're here. So I went and I went to the place where all the news things are right across from the Capitol.

[Big J Okerson]

You would you have a fur coat?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I had my fur coat yesterday. I got pictures of it. And then. And then I did, like, a news hit, and I got to watch a thing, and then we watched the speech. And then at 2:50, I was like, were you inside? Not in the main rotunda. We were in the press.

[Big J Okerson]

And that was in the Capitol. Was it the Capitol building?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Across from the Capitol building.

[Big J Okerson]

But he was in the Capitol building.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, but there's a big rooftop where every news outlet is, right? And then. So Karl Rove was there. You remember him?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

All these people.

[Big J Okerson]

I just said, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not a news guy.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It was like, from the Bush. The Bush era. Carl Rose.

[Big J Okerson]

So you were there doing news. You were there as a. Do you have a press pass?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Didn't have a press pass. But I went in the area where they're like, no civilians, and I go, hey, I'm here for one American News. They barely looked at my phone. They go, okay, go ahead.

[Big J Okerson]

That's great security.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You could let a bald guy with a fur coat in.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I had a Trump hat on. I got a Trump hat right when I got off the train. There were two for $35.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Really? Yeah, Like Aussie T shirts.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It was some African guy that clearly got kicked out right after he was done selling hats.

[Big J Okerson]

Jesus Christ.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

And. And it was exciting.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you have your trump sneakers on?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I had my trump sneakers on. Boy, my feet were sore after.

[Big J Okerson]

They're not comfortable.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

They're comfy for an hour. After an hour, you're like, oh, they made these in China.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course they did. No such.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

China.

[Big J Okerson]

China.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

The gold.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

The gold, Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I have them too, by the way.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Do you really?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I got them. I got them just to have them.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I have a bunch of stuff from when Hillary and him. Anytime I see something election wise, I always grab it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. So I was a badass.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I wear them and people. And sometimes people stare at them, angry. And then other times people go, how do you wear those out? I go, no one cares.

[Big J Okerson]

They made a real gold. Did you know that?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah, they are real gold.

[Big J Okerson]

They're real gold.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You know he sells watches now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I have one. Do you?

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

Oh, he has a whole merch department.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

And then he goes on his commercial, he goes, it's a beautiful watch. You can wear it on your wrist. It's like, where else are you gonna put this watch, dummy?

[Big J Okerson]

He really just says.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

He says some of the dumb stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

When he was doing the speech, you can tell when he kind of got. Was waiting for it to scroll up because he would just add something. Yeah, it's gonna be good. We're gonna be great.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

He says really dumb stuff a lot of time. So I did it. And then it was. We're all cheering and we're in One America News in the main office, and it's up on these TVs, and then there's a whole bunch of Asian people there, which made no sense. And I was like, maybe they own half of this network. You have no idea. And then a whole bunch of foreign oligarchs and stuff are walking by, like women upstairs. Like, there it is. There is capital. And. And you're like, why are all these people here? People came from all over the world to see this thing and sense of excitement. And when he's doing the speech People.

[Big J Okerson]

Yell, we're so back, baby.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We're all clapping. It's like the Olympics when he said there's only going to be two genders. You could feel all of Washington go banana.

[Big J Okerson]

You could feel all of Seattle crying.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

My sister, My sister goes, what's going to happen? It'll be a state. But I, I go, I think people can still get the surgeries. I just think when you go on like delta and it says when you're checking a male fema, that's going to be it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Or he could be like, we need to shoot all of them. If you see any. There's only two genders.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, we went, we went to Gary Gilman's one man show on Sunday.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Me and Don instead of the inauguration.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't even know. Gives a fuck about anything.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, we watch Psych and fucking Banshee and then we call it a night. We went to his show. First of all, Gary G. Un. Unbelievable.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

He's brilliant.

[Big J Okerson]

It was one of the, probably the best one man show I've ever seen.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Come on. I was in tears, really.

[Big J Okerson]

Laughing and then crying like a. Blubbering. Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to go to the. I. I just left after because I didn't want. There was like so many people in the industry there and I was just blubbering.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And I didn't want to just be, you know. But we went. But after the, after the, the show in the theater, Don had the piss. She had take a pee. Peace. And I had to pee.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So we go upstairs in the theater and they have co Ed bathrooms.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

With urinals. Okay, so. So Don sitting there. Look, man, I get it. I'm okay. I don't mind a co. I don't mind a bathroom that has a stall. They had urinals. So Don goes to walk in and goes, oh, I'm sorry. I thought that was the woman's bathroom. And the lady was like, it's co Ed. Wait.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

So she walks in, there's urinals there first. So this guy's pissing, there's two guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Pissing and there's a woman taking a piss in the stall.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. I thought you were gonna say a woman taking a piss in the other year.

[Robert Kelly]

Never heard of that, buddy. Ever.

[Big J Okerson]

So Don goes, I don't understand. She's like, I have to go to the back. He's like, yeah, it's co Ed. And then some woman's like, I'll go in with you. And she's like, no, yeah. She's like, I don't feel comfort. I don't feel comfortable with that. And I'm like, it's okay, babe, we'll go. She's like, I don't. I don't feel. I'll go with you. She goes, I don't want to go in with men peeing.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. She don't want to walk by and see two other guys with big. Huge compared to her husband.

[Big J Okerson]

That. That was a thing that I didn't think of. Probably that's what she was thinking. I mean, that was probably in the mix, just seeing what she doesn't have.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Nice hug, fellas. Good show, huh? You guys cry too.

[Big J Okerson]

It was so uncomfortable, though. Like, these women were going in. There's just these guys pissing at urinals.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

There's gonna be no more of that.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank God.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

None.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

That's how I went to the new Second City and I. It said that they were like, all gender restrooms. And so I walked into one and it. There were urinals and there was a guy washing his hands, and I was like, okay. And I just, like went in the store.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

It's not okay.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not okay.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I went out, though, and I looked at the sign and the signs on the door are like, please use whatever restroom you feel comfortable with. All gender. But then it says, like, very small with urinals. Like one's with urinals and one's without urinals. But they're both all gender.

[Big J Okerson]

Look, if you want an all gender bathroom, you have to have all stalls. You can't have. A guy shouldn't have urinals with his. With. You shouldn't have urinals.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No stalls with a private door on each one. I'm fine with that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you can't have a urine. You can't have guys with their hogs out shaking their wieners in front of my wife.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

She was like, I just don't feel comfortable. And she kept saying it over. I'm like, shut up. We're in a fucking. You know, relax. I get it. You have to keep.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

We're here watching my buddy's lib play.

[Big J Okerson]

She kept. Exactly, exactly. There's a bunch of fucking alternatives.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You know how hard it was for Gary after November 20th for three weeks?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I wore earth tone so we didn't stick out. Asshole.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I thought it was crazy. I thought it was absolutely wild to have all gender urinals.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's what she kept doing, though. She kept saying it over and over because she wanted a woman. There was a Bunch of women. She wanted another woman to go. Yeah, that's crazy. And she was like, I just don't feel comfortable. I don't. And nobody. They were looking at her like she was an idiot. But it's like, you can't have it. There's no urinals.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't have your wiener out and have girls walk by your.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Walk by. No. That feels wrong.

[Big J Okerson]

No. Even though there wasn't a straight guy in the fucking batch. Right. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

We had the gender neutral bathrooms here. But it's one person. That's it. One occupant.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely fine. The comedy seller has gender, girl, guy. But even that has stalls. I've been to clubs where they have five bathrooms, but each one has its own door.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

And girls have to go and, you know, sit down on guy piss. That's your fault because you want. But that's fine. You fought for this lady. When it's a gender. When it's men and women, I piss all over the seat.

[Whole Foods Market Announcer]

I hate it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You like having your job now?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You want to be equal? Well, sit in my.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Sit in that piss.

[Big J Okerson]

Wipe my whiz up. Look, I'm dehydrated. It's brown.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah. I bet you wish I was calling you toots still, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was on. I can't believe.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

That's insane.

[Big J Okerson]

It's insane.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

There's gonna be no more of that.

[Big J Okerson]

But it's weird to me. It's weird to me that these women would just go in and they have no problem with it.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

No. Because they're woke.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not woke. It's like you're beyond morals. You know what I mean?

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I mean, this is the way you and I think, but some people would call that common sense. But there's other people that think different. I. I get that they think differently. I get that they think differently.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't look. I don't look.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I get it.

[Big J Okerson]

I understand.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

But I don't agree with it.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, they have nude beaches in Europe up. And nobody cares about titties. I get it. That's fine.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

I care about titties.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want to see a hog, though. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to see a hog on a beach.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

You know what? I like pregnant tits.

[Big J Okerson]

Me too.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Veins in them and stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

They got big.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Make you think of Jacob's arms when he's doing resistance training.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. We're going to take a break real Quick, we got Aaron. Aaron Berg is in the house. He's going to be in Ottawa this weekend, January 24th through the 25th. Then he's gonna be on the Cross Crossing the Line tour with Brian Holtzman. That sounds interesting.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys gonna be doing edgy stuff? No, it's gonna be saying, hey man, you don't piss with chicks and pisses.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

These chicks are trying to piss next to us.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, you earn your job. You're not gonna get it because the color you see.

[High Five Casino Announcer]

Mad Men, crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

We're gonna send them all back. Anyways. For tickets and all the tour dates, visit aaronberg.com and check out my stuff. I'm gonna be Robert Kelly. Punchup Live Robert Kelly. For all my tour dates, go to YouTube.com robert kelly comedy to watch my special and all my comedy. I'm going to be at the Kansas City Comedy Club this Friday and Saturday. And make sure you check out my partner in crime, Big J Okerson. He's going to be in Orlando, Syracuse, Los Angeles, Ontario, California for all tickets and tour dates, bigj comedy.com and of course punchup.com bigjokerson we'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

[Aaron Berg]

Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the Internet and cable tv or as your mom called me, that sports gal from Celebrity Jeopardy. I have a new podcast called Casual. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found, just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights and good old fashioned drama. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a die hard fan or vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app, Pandora or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always un smash it.