Rice A Rollie w/Chris Faga & Robbie Bernstein

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly – Episode: Rice A Rollie w/Chris Faga & Robbie Bernstein

Release Date: December 5, 2024

In this lively episode of The Bonfire hosted by Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, the duo engages in their trademark candid and humorous banter, delving into a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes and holiday traditions to Jewish culinary delights and a whimsical business venture. Joined by guests Chris Faga and Robbie Bernstein, the conversation is both entertaining and insightful, offering listeners a glimpse into the hosts' comedic minds.

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1. Dancing Like Tony Manero

The episode kicks off with Robert Kelly excitedly sharing his recent purchase of Danny Terrio's "Night Moves" instructional album, aiming to master the dance moves of Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever.

• Robert Kelly [01:34]: "I bought Danny Terrio's Night Moves for LP album on how to dance like Tony Monero in Saturday Night Fever."

Big Jay playfully teases Robert about his dance ambitions, leading to a humorous exchange about their potential dance partnership and the challenges of performing in public.

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:35]: "We both want this. We both have friends who would be like, 'I'm not doing right because this is our gay thing.'"

2. Holiday Traditions: Hanukkah vs. Christmas

The conversation transitions to a discussion about holiday traditions, specifically comparing Hanukkah and Christmas. Big Jay shares memories of enjoying multiple gifts during Hanukkah, contrasting it with the singular focus of Christmas presents.

• Big Jay Oakerson [12:03]: "Let me tell you something right now. Dude, we're talking about rice a roni. The San Francisco treat is what Christine's native country's food is somehow, somehow Asian."

Christine adds her perspective, highlighting the simplicity and peace she finds in celebrating Christmas as an adult.

• Christine [14:21]: "I feel like it's a peaceful day where I can have the roads to myself. I can go anywhere. But there's something very nice about it."

The hosts humorously reminisce about their childhood experiences, the pressures of gift-giving, and the unique aspects of their respective cultural celebrations.

3. Exploring Jewish Cuisine

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to an in-depth and comedic exploration of Jewish food, focusing on dishes like gefilte fish and rice a Roni. The hosts debate the merits and drawbacks of gefilte fish, sharing personal anecdotes and exaggerated descriptions to elicit laughs.

• Robert Kelly [20:10]: "It's disgusting. Just eat the horseradish."

• Big Jay Oakerson [21:06]: "It's like tofu. It's a blank, tasteless vehicle to get that awesome horseradish that opens up brainwaves you didn't know you had before."

Christine interjects with her love for certain Jewish foods, balancing the humor with genuine appreciation.

• Christine [19:04]: "Knishes are great."

4. Whimsical Business Venture: Rice A Roni Restaurant

The highlight of the episode is the spontaneous brainstorming session where Big Jay and Robert Kelly concoct a fictional business idea for a Rice A Roni-themed restaurant. Joined by Robbie Bernstein, they dive into the absurdities and creative possibilities of branding, packaging, and menu design.

• Robert Kelly [33:17]: "Let me tell you something, you guys are killing me right now, and I love you. We get the rice a ronis Rice a rollies, right? It's all rice. Add your protein."

They discuss everything from the type of rice and pasta to the design of their own bento boxes, complete with humorous takes on trademarks and product names.

• Big Jay Oakerson [35:07]: "We call it the faga."

The conversation evolves into a mock business plan, filled with inside jokes and playful banter about potential menu items and marketing strategies.

5. Promoting Comedy Specials and YouTube Channels

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts and guests shift focus to promoting their respective comedy specials and YouTube channels. They encourage listeners to engage with their content online, emphasizing the importance of support through views, likes, and subscriptions.

• Robbie Bernstein [07:59]: "Check it out. And mom gonna be putting my special up there."

• Big Jay Oakerson [53:09]: "Check them out. Burn. After saying. Chris Vega, live from the Denver Comedy Garage."

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Notable Quotes

• Robert Kelly [01:34]: "I bought Danny Terrio's Night Moves for LP album on how to dance like Tony Monero in Saturday Night Fever."

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:35]: "We both want this. We both have friends who would be like, 'I'm not doing right because this is our gay thing.'"

• Robert Kelly [20:10]: "It's disgusting. Just eat the horseradish."

• Big Jay Oakerson [35:07]: "We call it the faga."

• Robbie Bernstein [07:59]: "Check it out. And mom gonna be putting my special up there."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bonfire masterfully blends humor with personal storytelling, offering listeners a range of entertaining topics from dance aspirations and holiday traditions to a satirical business proposal centered around Rice A Roni. The chemistry between Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, complemented by the contributions of Chris Faga and Robbie Bernstein, ensures an engaging and memorable listening experience. Whether you're a fan of stand-up comedy, enjoy humorous takes on cultural topics, or simply appreciate the hosts' candid conversations, this episode delivers on all fronts.

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Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

You know, guys, when it's time to tame the mane, don't settle for just any cut. Head straight to Sport Clips. Right now, the pros in men's hair. Have you ever checked out a sports Clips, Bobby?

[Robert Kelly]

I haven't, but I'm very excited to check it out this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Sport Clips is an amazing, amazing place. And you can leave the Hail Marys for the football field because Sport Clips expert stylists always have the perfect game plan to give you an amazing cut. And they always have sports on the TVs going the entire time. It's an amazing place. Fun guy talk. Bobby, you love guy places.

[Robert Kelly]

I love guy talk. And I love manly alpha male places. And this sounds like the best place for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. Sit back, watch some sports on the tv and let the pros get your hair back in action. Nothing says confidence like a great haircut. Nobody does great haircuts like Sport Clips. It's a game changer. High Five Casino, everybody. High Five Casino lets you play your favorite slot in live table games like blackjack, with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.

[Robert Kelly]

High Five Casino has a giant selection of over 1200 games, including hundreds of exclusive games only found on High Five Casino. It's always free to play and free coins are given out every four hours.

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary. Void were prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. Strong.

[Robert Kelly]

I got strong. Thanks, buddy. Don, I'm just going to let you know that I purchased something and I. And it's just the way it is. I bought Danny Terrio's Night Moves for LP album on how to dance like Tony Monero in Saturday Night Fever. And it's going to be here Friday. And I bought it. It's unopened. And I'm going to learn to dance like Tony Monero. Down.

[Big J Okerson]

What's the way it is? And that's the way it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Watch the movie. I can show you the moves. What? You don't know that from Heart by Heart? No, I don't know it from.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't see this angle coming.

[Robert Kelly]

No, from Saturday Night Fever. No, I. I know you need. I want to know how to do it right. I want to do it good. And Danny Terrio has a four album instructional. Instructional. Awesome. Did you buy the suit to go with it? Okay, that's condescending that is condescending, Dawn. And I'm not trying. I'm not. I'm not. All right, don't be condescending. I'm serious about something, and you should back me on this. I gotta go. What? I have stuff in the cart that is unfreezing that needs to go home. Okay. Well, that's attractive and just, you know.

[Big J Okerson]

And I'm a man and I'm gonna dance.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a man and I'm gonna. I'm. I'm in the dance. I'm in. I'm gonna dance. I'm into dancing. I'm gonna dance. Okay. I can't wait to video it. Yeah, well, you're. I'm gonna usher you off the dance floor like he did to Fran Drescher. I'm like, enough of this. Oh, fantastic. Okay. All right, bye. I love you.

[Big J Okerson]

Bye. I feel like somewhere that she laughed her whole way. She. She laughed her outro. That might be a Face on the Glass situation. I'm gonna tell you how to live your life. I know. It's the holiday week.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it might be.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. Dude, we should both get leisure suits.

[Robert Kelly]

But do they make that in double xl? Does True Classic make a version of that?

[Big J Okerson]

I can't do this unless the True Classic is involved. Bobby, I'm telling you, at any given one of the. It could be a skank fest. It could be a holiday party. It could be something. When we are able to. I will put in the work with you to do a wonderfully choreographed dance. It's both of our dreams.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

We both want this. We both have friends who would be like, I'm not doing right because this is our gay thing that we're going to be like, I don't care. I like it.

[Robert Kelly]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

This is our going to the Grateful Dead. Or I think we have a vision and it's that the two of us destroy a room. Destroy a room with just the art of dance for the first time. No words. We don't have to be clever. We don't have to think. Our body's activity moves an audience, moves.

[Robert Kelly]

The audience to where we. And when we're done, you know what we do? We leave. We walk.

[Big J Okerson]

We walk off.

[Robert Kelly]

We walk off.

[Big J Okerson]

We walk off. It's not a thing. You know, we want to be talked to. We're not going to sit there and laugh and let people go. It's like, holy shit. It's crazy. You guys did. No, no. We leave. It goes. You're not talking to comedian Bob and Jay right now.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what we do? I'll tell you what we do, right? When we walk out and we walk up 6 Ave. And we strut.

[Big J Okerson]

Strut.

[Robert Kelly]

We strut.

[Big J Okerson]

We fucking strut. And maybe every time we see, like a pretty girl, we give her a little, like couple seconds of dance.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then woo her and then send her back to her boyfriend. But she's gonna be like, what the hell was that?

[Robert Kelly]

We strut right over to Joe's Pizza, get two slices, fold them up, fold it right. Maybe get a pay can.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I could definitely walk to this. Ooh, Going to my dad's hardware store.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at those shoes. I can't afford them yet.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, well, we're getting them. They're coming. Remember the dumb scene when he puts his brother's priest collar on?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then the symbol symbolism where he hangs it like a noose. He's like, oh, look at this. It's like hanging by your neck.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the Al Pacino.

[Big J Okerson]

Attica. Al Pacino.

[Robert Kelly]

It's coming Friday. And I'm. I've never been more excited about something that I've bought myself.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me tell you something, Robert Hayes, an airplane pulled off a pretty good version of that dance.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

If Robert Hayes can do it, I'm going to argue we can do it.

[Robert Kelly]

I think we can.

[Big J Okerson]

Robert Hayes had a. Maybe an unfortunate career is the wrong word. But it never really popped after the Airplane films. He was never the guy in anything else. Christine. Yes, you, please. You could bring up Airplane. Saturday Night Fever dance. It's maybe one of the funniest things in a movie ever. I love slapstick shit. When it was like, when it came out. I know, like the early stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

I just.

[Big J Okerson]

Good writers and shit too. I mean, they started making so many shitty ones. You never saw Airplane? Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

You never saw A Saturday Night Fever and Airplane?

[Christine]

No, I was born in 1985.

[Big J Okerson]

This is great.

[Robert Kelly]

That doesn't mean.

[Big J Okerson]

They say it's. They say it's a bad bar. It's just two girl scouts fight. Beat the out of each other. God damn, these movies were great. You could skip it low. Oh, I love that. Yeah. When her panties come out. That was a big deal when I was a kid.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a big deal now.

[Big J Okerson]

Also. Airplane movies always had a great. They just knew what they were doing. Every time there was a scene where everybody went nuts inside the airplane, just tits would come across the screen. Oh, yeah. Is this the volume on it? This is maybe one of the funniest things ever.

[Robert Kelly]

He's in a bar. There's Merchant Marines. Old fat ladies in sundresses.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, it's complete slapstick movie. So.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And everybody just took their clothes off when this song came on. And this whole bar turned into a disco. It's fantastic.

[Big J Okerson]

Go get our guests and we will take a break.

[Robert Kelly]

Please go get our guests and we.

[Big J Okerson]

Will get a break.

[Robert Kelly]

She just rolled her eyes.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

You have no manners, man.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you mean?

[Robert Kelly]

You say, go get our guests, and you pointed to the door.

[Big J Okerson]

He's your fucking producer. Go get a guest.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Just running a show. Go get the guests. We're gonna do plugs and we'll take a break and we'll come back with our guests.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a little better. The tone changed a little bit. I like it. It's the bonfire. We'll be right back. We got great guests coming in today, and we're gonna have great news, everyone.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a Sunday show with some tickets left in Philly now. I was unaware of it. It's happening.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Make sure you go to check this out. Big plug. Robert Kelly, comedy at YouTube. Robert Kelly. All stand up. Just stand up is going up there. All stand up.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Check it out. And mom gonna be putting my special up there. Wouldn't be putting my comedy because I realized that none of my standup is really on YouTube. And we're gonna change that for all you out there.

[Big J Okerson]

I think I'll be putting my crowdwork specials on YouTube. Yeah, I think so.

[Robert Kelly]

I think my other special, Live from the Village Underground, going to punch up live.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. I think Netflix didn't give two fucking shits about my scrapbook special.

[Robert Kelly]

Who does your dance partner?

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby Kelly, my dance partner and life partner.

[Robert Kelly]

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Bonfire faction talk series XM103. We're back, everybody. Big Jokers and Robert Kelly, two fun guests joining us in the studio. Bobby, you want to practice your intros?

[Robert Kelly]

I'd love to.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Right now, man. We got a unbelievable guests been on before and glad to have him back right now live in the studio. Robbie Bernstein. And we're promoting is. Nope. I fucked up because there's a lot of shit up here. Dude.

[Big J Okerson]

These are just little Cliff Notes. Bobby, you gotta throw your. Bobby, can I tell you something? Can I talk to you?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, please, go ahead.

[Big J Okerson]

You've got pizzazz, my friend, and you got it in spades. So what you're doing is you're panicking.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

And you're starting to read. And you're just trying to stick to the word like. Can I read this right? Take it as fact, everybody.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Pizzazz. Are those little wafery Italian cookies, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, Bobby, you understand pizzazz.

[Robert Kelly]

I love those cookies.

[Big J Okerson]

Watch how good this is. Ready?

[Robert Kelly]

You gonna do it?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll do it.

[Robert Kelly]

You do it?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll do it. We have two amazing guests, everybody. Our first guest, live from the Denver Comedy Garage, is streaming right now on YouTube, everybody. It's the hilarious Robbie Bernstein joining us in the studio. And speaking of specials. So good, right? Speaking of specials, our next guest also returning the show, everybody, has a new special called Burn after saying, also available right now on YouTube. Make some noise for Chris Fag. Everybody. Make some noise. Blue. I blew it. What? Makes some noise. That's a live intro.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's the thing, though.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Is the first time where I had the intro. Two.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

The last time it was one, and I nailed it.

[Big J Okerson]

Correct.

[Robert Kelly]

And now you.

[Big J Okerson]

Some of your lips started flipping right away because you.

[Robert Kelly]

It was two. It was separate. And they were promoting two. It wasn't. They were promoting the same thing. They're promoting two different. So if I knew that going in, if I knew, if I had the info, the intel before going in, I would have had a better shot.

[Christine]

You got to work your way up. Maybe get one and a half.

[Robert Kelly]

First I got one, and then it's like, I would have nailed yours. But then I looked down, I'm like.

[Robbie Bernstein]

And Bobby remembered he doesn't know how to pronounce my last name.

[Robert Kelly]

Faga.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Close.

[Robert Kelly]

Faga.

[Robbie Bernstein]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

Faga.

[Robert Kelly]

Faga.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right.

[Robert Kelly]

I got it. I had that.

[Big J Okerson]

He wants to say faga really bad. Oh, really?

[Robert Kelly]

Does I did not. Does not.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no, no, no. You're always there instinctually. Like, your Boston thing is like, leaning it to say that Faga. You're. It's. Yeah, yeah. You see those letters and you're like, it's only said one way.

[Robert Kelly]

Faggot. Fag. A kid.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I don't know how. We've never talked about this. Was that a nightmare? Growing up, did you have to learn how to fight pretty quick? But no one made a thing at all.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Didn't come up very often at all. People say that to me all the time, and I'm like, once in a while.

[Robert Kelly]

When did you grow up? What years?

[Robbie Bernstein]

I was born in 1983, so late 90s. I mean, people were. I was calling people and rarely front.

[Big J Okerson]

Was it rarely when people didn't notice, it was more of a friend that would say it. Not even like a yeah. Somebody coming at you.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah, I remember I was the only person who ever caught a really good burn on me was a corrections officer in Brooklyn who was like, which one of you is Fag A?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm Fag C, sir. Fag A's over there. That's fantastic.

[Robert Kelly]

That was a great intro till the end. You did blow it at the end.

[Big J Okerson]

I did whiff a little bit at the end. Robbie happy. Almost Hanukkah. I guess I'm trying to find some Jewish common ground with Robbie. We're the only Jews here in this room. Now that Jacob's in Florida, where Jews go.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not really Jewish.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you mean?

[Robert Kelly]

You're Jewish by a little tiny bit.

[Big J Okerson]

A little bit. Rob, you grew up religious, right?

[Christine]

I grew up religious. And Hanukkah is a good one because you can show up for the holiday and you don't have to actually do anything. It's just lighting candles. You eat something, you move on. You don't have to show up to synagogue. You don't have to do anything.

[Robert Kelly]

You pretty much. You were jealous that the Catholics had Christmas. And you were like, you know what? Let's do eight days, not one.

[Christine]

When you were a kid, like that Sega Genesis commercial, you felt like you were missing out on so much.

[Robert Kelly]

You were Jesus Christ getting into heaven salvation.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Our Lord and Savior. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I remember the thing was with. It depends also, again, I grew up broke. We were like dirt broke when I was younger. My mom worked like retail and stuff. It was nothing. Like we have any money, so I never had. I'm sure Hanukkah in a well to do Jewish household is awesome. I'd have to assume it's awesome. Like gifts wise and everything. But like when it's broken eight gifts, like, that's a commitment to how many you have to get now versus Christmas, where you can get one thing. So the problem was like, it'd be exactly like if you. If God forbid, somehow you were getting a video game system or something. For Hanukkah, in my house, it was like Sega Genesis Day 1, the game that came with it, a second day, you know, the other controller that was always there. Another day, the RGB came.

[Robert Kelly]

They had to open the box and wrap it separately.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, Christmas still, no offense, Christmas rocks. I mean, you guys, it's. It's fine. But Christmas, well, it's the energy.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not. You don't get in. Judy. I bet in Israel or something it's pretty fucking cool. No, I really. I think everyone's partaking. No one's partaking in it but you when you're here.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but Hanukkah, it's like, it's still traditional, like Christmas is. It's a buildup. It's a. And we have a lot of going on before. And then the Christmas Eve is an awesome night. And then when you wake up Christmas.

[Big J Okerson]

Morning, it's trying to sell. You're trying to sell Christianity to two Jewish people. No, you don't understand.

[Robert Kelly]

It's way better.

[Christine]

Family, church, it always seemed more spectacular. And as a kid, it felt like you were missing out on something. As an adult, I love the quiet of Christmas.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, because you're a Jew.

[Christine]

Yeah, because I don't know, there's nothing going on. No one's calling you, no one needs anything. It feels like you're living during the apocalypse.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We have Thanksgiving. That's what we call.

[Christine]

No, but Thanksgiving, you feel sad if you're not doing something because you're like, I don't have a. I haven't had that. But if you don't do things on Thanksgiving, I think you feel sad on Christmas. Now I don't feel like I'm missing out. I feel like it's a peaceful day where I can. I have the roads to myself. I can go anywhere. But there's something very nice about it.

[Big J Okerson]

Chinese New Year.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I remember my buddy called me on a Christmas. It was like after my dad died, I wasn't doing anything for Christmas for a while after my dad passed away. And then my buddy Dave, right after he got married, he calls me, he goes, what are you doing today? Fucking jerking off and playing video games. I gotta go see my divorced parents. And then tomorrow we're gonna go see my wife's fucking divorced parents. My whole fucking week is shot. Go fuck yourself. And just hung up on me on Christmas morning. And I felt really good about being alone on Christmas.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah. Now there's times definitely for sure. I like the. Going to a movie on Christmas is nice. A lot of people there. You get to kind of dominate the theater.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, Christmas for me is the best.

[Robbie Bernstein]

It's the only time the Chinese are happy to see you. Thank God somebody's here.

[Christine]

She's like some of those iconic moments you saw as a kid, like Home alone when he tosses him the gift.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

There's just so many iconic moments. You feel like you never. To this day, I could see myself running down to a Christmas tree and opening up a gift and being a four year old for that why don't.

[Robert Kelly]

You come over this Christmas?

[Christine]

I would love to, if you're actually inviting me.

[Robert Kelly]

You come over for Christmas, and I will have a bunch of little gifts waiting for you.

[Christine]

Little gingerbread cookies. I've always wanted a nice gingerbread cookie.

[Big J Okerson]

Love, Robbie the Fire. And little personalized pajamas.

[Robert Kelly]

But you have to. Yeah, you have to wear a onesie. You have to wear little feetsy pajamas. And you have to pretend like you're Max's age.

[Christine]

I could see myself as an adult, getting stuck in the zipper and pissing myself in one of those.

[Big J Okerson]

When you open up presents, I want you to just be child whimsy. Like, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Robert Kelly]

And I'm going to hold one present back, and you'll be like, I didn't get what I wanted. And be like, what's behind the tree over there? What is that?

[Big J Okerson]

What's wrong, little Robbie? Did you ask Santa for something you didn't get? Yeah, just stupid Sega Genesis.

[Christine]

Do you guys do good cookies on Christmas?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Dude, we have Christmas Eve. We have a big party. People come over. We have food. What's that?

[Christine]

A roast. Don't you got to do a big roast? Isn't that the Christmas thing?

[Robert Kelly]

No. In my house, we were Irish. It was a ham. It was a ham.

[Big J Okerson]

What is it now? I always say Christmas is a great time to go Italian.

[Robert Kelly]

We do Appetite.

[Big J Okerson]

Hardcore Italian.

[Robert Kelly]

We do pasta. We do appetizers, stuff like that.

[Big J Okerson]

A lasagna. Maybe that's the time the lasagna gets pulled out.

[Robert Kelly]

Christmas morning is breakfast. Big breakfast. You do the stockings. You guys don't have stockings. Dude, you don't get to open a stocking.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but you know what you don't get, dude?

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Giant saltines. Unleavened bread. You don't get that, do you? Thank God you don't get a fish hot dog called gefilte fish.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that is the worst.

[Christine]

Why did you ever eat that?

[Big J Okerson]

I still love it.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Robbie Bernstein]

You're the one we were just talking about. I like a Jewish. I like a herring with cream. And certain Jewish things I like.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna put my filter fish.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I can't do.

[Big J Okerson]

Really? You can do herring.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I can do herring, no problem.

[Big J Okerson]

And no.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, white fish. I'm into whitefish.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Fine whitefish. Salad.

[Robert Kelly]

Whitefish.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Salad.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know. I know it's a salad.

[Big J Okerson]

You just weren't.

[Robbie Bernstein]

It looks like a tumor, Jay. It looks like what they pull out of your lungs.

[Robert Kelly]

It's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like tofu. It's a blank, tasteless vehicle to get that awesome horseradish that, I mean, opens up brainwaves you didn't know you had before.

[Robert Kelly]

Just get the horseradish. It's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

There's nothing to put beet horseradish on besides this.

[Christine]

A white horseradish, like on meatballs or a roast, like white horseradish all day.

[Big J Okerson]

White horseradish goes on all kinds of oysters.

[Robert Kelly]

Kefelta fish is the worst. And I've tried all Jewish food. I was friends with Lenny.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you try gefelta fish?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Lenny Marcus. We used to have lunch with Lenny every Tuesday.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, really?

[Robert Kelly]

And we would go until Leslie.

[Big J Okerson]

Until Leslie Jones took him out of your life.

[Robert Kelly]

So she stole that little Jew boy.

[Big J Okerson]

Grabbed him right in her fist and ran out of the city.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Where's Lenny?

[Robbie Bernstein]

The opposite of a Mice and Men. She just pets him and breaks his neck.

[Robert Kelly]

And every day, every week, we try a new Jewish thing. And I loved it all. I love the little pancakes. Great.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't call them that.

[Robert Kelly]

What are they called?

[Big J Okerson]

Latkes.

[Robert Kelly]

Latke.

[Big J Okerson]

Potato.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a potato pancake.

[Big J Okerson]

Right, but you're saying pancake connotates something sweet.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a pancake. And you get it with applesauce.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't put applesauce on it.

[Robert Kelly]

Or sweet.

[Christine]

It's also great with sour.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen, I tell you what.

[Robert Kelly]

I've had it both ways.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll do both. How about sour cream and applesauce?

[Robert Kelly]

And I'll tell you right now, fucking amazing. I loved it.

[Big J Okerson]

Blintz.

[Robert Kelly]

A blintz. I love a blitz. What's the thing with the knish?

[Christine]

Knishes are great.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you. Knish with mustard.

[Robbie Bernstein]

This is a food that's fallen out of favor for no reason.

[Christine]

You know what's great? A ground mustard and a knish. And then you throw some pastrami on top of that.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, bro, I'm with you with all.

[Big J Okerson]

Some of the good pastrami places. Make a pastrami knish already.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Listen, there's places that'll do like a press sandwich. Like, almost like a panini with a knish.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's great. But when you get to the kefelta fish and I.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't get to it. The gefilte fish comes in way early.

[Robert Kelly]

I.

[Big J Okerson]

And a good mom and a good mamam will put a little carrot circle. But on top of it, I had.

[Robert Kelly]

A Jewish foster father for three years.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And I went through the whole.

[Christine]

You're like, put me back in prison.

[Robert Kelly]

And I had the kefelta fish. Then I was. And then I did it again with lunch with Lenny years later. Let me retry my. I'm a man now. I'm a grown adult. Let me retry this. And we did all this, and I loved all of the stuff I didn't like. And then we got to the kefelta fish, and it's gross. It's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

Could you. What, for the holiday season?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Would you try to fill to fish one more time for me in here? A little beat horseradish. I'll zhuzh it up like my mom did.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Are you gonna make it or.

[Christine]

I gotta know what you can fill to fish. Because there's two styles. There's the. That style, which comes out of a jar, and then there's the one that you gotta prepare, which is the flat surface.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like the flat surface ones. No, I'm a. I'm definitely there.

[Christine]

You're an out of the Man Shevitz jelly.

[Big J Okerson]

I want the brain. I want the jelly. The jelly's gonna be off it, Bobby. It pulls right out of the jelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Why do you need jelly? To keep something alive.

[Christine]

It's got the texture like you're eating someone's testicle.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I like how your hors d'oeuvres come out of the matrix before you eat them.

[Big J Okerson]

Definitely tastes like. Absolutely. You gotta bring up a video of gefilte fish being pulled out of that gel. That gel, by the way, is unappetizing looking. I'll always give you that.

[Robert Kelly]

And the sound when you take it out sounds like you're pulling your fist out of a woman's vagina.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. It's definitely. Yeah, it's definitely queef.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the same sound when you filter queefs. When you clean a fleshlight, it's the same sound.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at those little carrot pieces.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob from space. You're a Jewish person. Do you like kefelta fish?

[Big J Okerson]

Ground control to major, Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I think it's horrific. Good.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you. We don't eat. I've never, never liked it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's something that's European.

[Big J Okerson]

That's European juice.

[Christine]

It's never served in my house the couple times a year. I mean, I had it in over a decade, but every once in a while, I'd end up at some rabbi's house for a more traditional, like, meal. And you'd have to just get it down. Oh, my God. That looks like the turd of a person with cancer. Like an Ethiopian person who can't get their hands.

[Robbie Bernstein]

No nutrients.

[Robert Kelly]

You shouldn't have to clean something off before.

[Big J Okerson]

You have to clean everything before you eat it. Not.

[Robert Kelly]

Not what?

[Big J Okerson]

We don't have a jar.

[Christine]

Like, you would never take a pickle out of and wash it off before eating it.

[Big J Okerson]

If it was in goop, I would.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, if you had to take your hamburger, go back.

[Big J Okerson]

I want to see. I want to see how they. How they act.

[Robert Kelly]

It's disgusting. All right, here we go.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy's having a good reaction, probably.

[Robert Kelly]

And covered in batter. What are we watching?

[Big J Okerson]

This is people trying to get filter fish for the first.

[Christine]

That guy looks like he was conceived after his mom ate gefilte.

[Robert Kelly]

That looks like every comic at the Cellar right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that was Jeremiah Walken's brunette brother.

[Robbie Bernstein]

About it going in blind.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, look at that. Herpey on his lip.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

In gelled broth.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, this really is the cast of the Cellar on Friday and Saturday night.

[Big J Okerson]

Smells like tuna.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. It smells like chicken broth. A white black girl.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought it was. All right, that's an overreaction.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah, I think so.

[Big J Okerson]

This giant jelly. Oh, that's a good gefilte fish right there. Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it's cold.

[Robbie Bernstein]

That's a keeper.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's another.

[Robbie Bernstein]

You're not throwing that back.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy is not long for the world. The guy who's over the. He's overreacting, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

It's cold. Why? Fish shouldn't be cold.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you talking about?

[Robbie Bernstein]

Sushi.

[Robert Kelly]

It's cold. That's a different fish, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't think about anything you say before you.

[Robbie Bernstein]

What about ceviche?

[Robert Kelly]

I do. Let me tell you something right now. Sushi is different.

[Big J Okerson]

That's like, what am I going to have? A hot soup? All soups hot, right?

[Robert Kelly]

No, that's not what I said.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I know. You did the opposite.

[Robert Kelly]

That is a tuna. Can I just say something? It's not even cold. It's warm. It's like in a jar.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's cold.

[Christine]

Let's go with the room temperature.

[Robert Kelly]

Exactly. It's disgusting. It comes out of a jar. It's not refrigerated.

[Big J Okerson]

You do refrigerate once it's open. You do.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but when you take it out of the shelf and you open it, it's literally. It's like the top of the beef stew where you put it in the fridge and the stuff on the top congealed. It's in that.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? And then you pull it out of that.

[Robert Kelly]

But why couldn't you Heat it up. Why wouldn't you heat it up?

[Big J Okerson]

You could.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I'm sure people deep fry it just to make it more palatable. Ooh.

[Big J Okerson]

I would not try deep fried gefilte fish. Sounds horrible. It's supposed to be cold and plain. It is a vehicle for horseradish. I'm telling you, there's nothing else to it.

[Robert Kelly]

Just eat the horseradish.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody just wants a nice gefilte fish. No one's ever fucking grabbed like, a candy bar and started eating.

[Robert Kelly]

Why get a prime rib, throw some horseradish on it, eat some too fatty. Too fatty prime rib?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you crazy?

[Christine]

How often do you eat gefilte fish? Well, every once in a while. Just pop open a jar in the apartment?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

No. No, you don't.

[Big J Okerson]

When it starts showing up on the shelves sometimes for, like, the holidays, I will absolutely pass overall. Grab it from the store. If I go to the store.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

There's always beef horseradish.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, from space. Filter fish is the Spam of Jewish food.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how it is, man.

[Robert Kelly]

I look at. I like. I eat Spam.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, take your protein pills and put your engines on.

[Robert Kelly]

You know why Spam is better? Spam, you can throw in a pan and fry it. You can. You can cook it. Take it out.

[Big J Okerson]

You're saying Spam is better than your filter fish?

[Robert Kelly]

100.

[Big J Okerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because you can cook it.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. You can cook a filter fish.

[Robert Kelly]

You. You're not supposed to cook it. You're supposed to eat it out of the jar and then wipe the jelly shit off.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure, you can cook ice cream. You're not supposed to, though.

[Robert Kelly]

They do fried ice cream. Mexicans cook fry everything. And they made it better.

[Big J Okerson]

Did they make it better?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, not as. I mean regular ice cream. I will eat more than confelter fish. Felt a fish is disgusting. Christine, when you see him eating it, does it. Is it gross?

[Christine]

No, it's just not. I think I have tried it.

[Robert Kelly]

And you walk out of the room now right when he eats it.

[Christine]

No, I just don't want to.

[Robert Kelly]

When he turns into an old Jew and puts a sweater on TV and watches pbs.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I'll be honest now.

[Robert Kelly]

I watch.

[Big J Okerson]

Ethnic foods are the dumbest.

[Robert Kelly]

What's hers?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. It's like.

[Christine]

It's just Middle Eastern food.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's just shitty Middle Eastern, but it's not the good kind. It's Armenian. Twists on it.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, isn't all the food the same? Isn't Hummus, hummus, hummus.

[Big J Okerson]

So far, what I'VE gathered is rice a roni. The San Francisco treat is what Christine's native country's food is somehow, somehow Asian. Rice a roni is what Christine makes as her that's the chief dish of the Armenian culture.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something. I love a rice a roni.

[Christine]

Well, I do it homemade.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh you do home.

[Robbie Bernstein]

What's homemade rice around like a biryani kind?

[Big J Okerson]

It's rice a roni with water from our house.

[Christine]

I hate to be so uncultured, but I'm not familiar with this rice a roni.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't know rice the San Francisco Tree? Are you crazy?

[Christine]

Not familiar with rice?

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something. You were beth thick when I was a kid.

[Big J Okerson]

Go back to college so you can enjoy this. When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't drink at all until 4:00. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night. Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks a few nights a week, it can add up and suddenly.

[Big J Okerson]

We'Re at greater risk for long term.

[Robert Kelly]

Problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the Drink more.

[Big J Okerson]

At rethinkthedrink.com Noha Initiative@Metro get an iPhone 12 with 5G and a dual camera system on us. Take amazing pictures and share them instantly. And don't put up with life's yada yada yada yada like photo bombers, zoom crop out yada yada and by you. Don't take yada yada in life. Don't take yada yada from your wireless provider. Get iPhone 12 with 5G with no activation fees and nada yada yada Only at Metro By T Mobile Switch now.

[Christine]

Bring your ID and sign up for a Metro Flex plan offer. Not available if currently at T Mobile or been with Metro in the past 180 days.

[Robert Kelly]

NetCredit is here to say yes because you're more than a credit score. Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by Netcredit or lending partner.

[Big J Okerson]

Banks and serviced by NetCredit.

[Robert Kelly]

Applications subject to review and approval. Learn [e-mail] partners. NetCredit Credit to the People Are you holding back on travel plans this holiday break because you're afraid of a language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel. I use Babbel all the time. I just went to Cuba. It was so frustrating and not be able to ask for certain things. You know What? I just turned on my babbel app. All of a sudden I was speaking sentences, saying good afternoon. I got to go in and say pour favour queso, which means please cheese. This app was amazing because it teaches you in a fun, relatable way that all of a sudden you just know words and they're in your lexicon. I'm learning Italian with my son. I put my whole family on babbel right now with a quick 10 minute lesson handcrafted by over 200 language experts. Babbel gets you talking in a new language just three weeks. And with the advanced speech recognition by babbel, it's like having a personal language tutor in your pocket, helping you pronunciate whenever you open your mouth. I got babbel. I hopefully know Spanish and Italian by the end of the year and I already know a bunch of words. I know a couple swears too. Not on there. From the guy I met in Cuba. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for the bonfire with big J Ogerson and Robert kelly. [e-mail] Bonfire get up to 60% off babbel.com Bonfire spelled B a B B E L. Rules and restrictions may apply. Tiamo. Gracias. We had white rice probably four times a week with cream of tuna.

[Christine]

Maybe I was just never poor enough for rice.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. We were possible, but every. Like every once in a while my mom would make a box of rice a roni. And we knew tonight was a special night.

[Christine]

You knew that it was the end of the month and you were waiting on a paycheck.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robbie Bernstein]

She got her. She had her tax return that day.

[Robert Kelly]

I knew she blew somebody at work. Here's the thing with rice. Roni. The best part about rice. Roni. Let it get a little cold and it like a little room temperature. It's hot, great. But when it gets a little room, then it becomes like together clumps and then you scoop it out in a clump and then when you. Oh my God. Rice. And it has. I don't know what. It's like a little rice and then it has the long. What are the long.

[Big J Okerson]

Long brown ones. Long grain.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, long grain.

[Big J Okerson]

But I'll tell you, it's a variety pack of 12 flavors. Christine. Oh my God. That's. We could have a celebration Armenian dinner once a month.

[Christine]

Ours is the pilaf.

[Big J Okerson]

Huh?

[Christine]

Ours is a peel off. Although I do enjoy a cheddar broccoli.

[Robert Kelly]

Cheddar broccoli is great. I like the chicken one is my favorite.

[Big J Okerson]

Just a regular old rice a roni chicken.

[Robert Kelly]

I want it right now. Let's get rice.

[Christine]

It's rice and pasta is what it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that so?

[Christine]

It's vermicelli noodles. And you crunch those up and you brown.

[Robert Kelly]

That's butter.

[Christine]

And then you cook them chicken stock.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not long grain. It's. The long one is the pasta.

[Christine]

Sometimes they do orzo. Orzo.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on one second. What'd you say?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean, no?

[Big J Okerson]

That's long grain rice.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm pretty sure she's right. I think it's.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Well, there's one right there that says long grain and wild rice.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, this is Armenia's national food, so maybe Christine's right, but I don't think so, actually.

[Christine]

Not sure if there's pasta in rice a roni, but in peel off. That's what it is.

[Robert Kelly]

The herb. The herb one. See the long one? The long brown looks like a little maggot.

[Big J Okerson]

It looks like maggots, actually. The white ones look like maggots, Bobby. I don't even know what maggots look like.

[Robert Kelly]

I think. I think the long ones look like maggots.

[Big J Okerson]

The long ones are brown.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you go back?

[Big J Okerson]

Maggots are white.

[Robert Kelly]

When you cook them.

[Big J Okerson]

When you cook maggots, they turn brown. Okay, you know what?

[Robbie Bernstein]

You gotta search on them. You gotta use a cast iron pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a pivot.

[Christine]

If you made a bowl of all the rice and roni flavors, would that work?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, a suicide. Yeah, probably Suicide. Suicide rice. A roni rice made from a mixture of rice and pasta. Usually either Rosa Marina or cut vermicelli. Browning the mixture gives it a toasted flavor and prevents the rice from becoming mushy.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

You're very self satisfied, Christine. But I told you, I know it's the food of your people, so I deferred to you.

[Robert Kelly]

He did. He did.

[Christine]

You said no.

[Robert Kelly]

No. He conceded.

[Big J Okerson]

You can see, I go. It is. It is in fact your national food.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Robbie Bernstein]

So is this just a thing that they had to change the name to Rice a Roni so fucking mooks in America would eat this product?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. You can't just call it fucking Armenian rice. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We actually take stuff and make it taste good.

[Big J Okerson]

Sit down, come over, everyone for a traditional Armenian rice, a Roni feast.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Nobody likes that. While I flip the bowl over with my grandmother and hopefully don't drop it all over the fucking floor.

[Big J Okerson]

It goes. Are you coming over for the ceremony of the 12 rice a Ronis, where Christine will make one. You will try one taste of all kinds.

[Robert Kelly]

I would love that. What a little snack that would be.

[Big J Okerson]

And then Christ put on to us cheddar broccoli.

[Christine]

Like, if you walked into a party and they had a separate bowl of every 12, would you. You go, this is the greatest party I've ever spread. I've ever seen.

[Big J Okerson]

The most Armenian.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd lose my mind. If you. If everybody got a. Like a big spoon. If they had little spoons, I'd be a little mad. But I got.

[Christine]

I got one more rice a Roni question for you.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Christine]

All right, let's say then there was a separate station with, like, a little bit of chicken, a little bit of beef. Would you be adding that to the rice a Roni? Would that ruin the experience?

[Robert Kelly]

I say me and you start a brick and mortar. Right now. That would be.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Maybe start with a truck.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that. Let's go. Right. We do a brick and mortar rice a Roni restaurant. All we call it rice.

[Big J Okerson]

The chicken's got to be added.

[Robbie Bernstein]

No, if you have a truck, you can call it rice rolling because you're rolling around.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. That's why I like.

[Big J Okerson]

What is that called? That's called deceptive marketing, where you're like. You're taking like. It's. You know, when they have like. Like. Like Dugston Donuts, you know, I mean, it's. But it's like, spelled. It's like a same color scheme.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Kennedy fried chicken.

[Robert Kelly]

Rice a roli.

[Big J Okerson]

Rice a roli.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it.

[Christine]

I like the idea of some smoked meats in there, like some brisket.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, here's the thing you're coming up with. You're killing me right now, and I love you. We get the rice a ronis Rice a rollies, right? It's all rice. Add your protein.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

We have a separate protein. You could have what you want on it. Throw that on. Let's go nuts. And then add some more stuff.

[Christine]

Get some good sauces.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I throw my hat in the mix?

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Big J Okerson]

Wrong. He's not wrong. You want a hot sauce, A little side of broth. Little hot sauce. Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Oh, it.

[Robert Kelly]

Now you got me back. You're talking about a broth.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe a gravy. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe that's the fun thing is that, like, when you get it, always next to your thing is a cup of broth this high, a half inch high. And just to give it A little jazz it on the top.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm in. I'm back in. I apologize.

[Big J Okerson]

May I also add, because people talk about that. Oh, and they give you a little thing at the end. It's like the same way the mentality of how much we love a milkshake is only a milkshake when they give you the extra.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah, the tin.

[Robert Kelly]

How about this, though? How about this?

[Big J Okerson]

Or you were treated like a. At this ice cream shop.

[Robert Kelly]

How about this? At the end, they got little shakers. One with some cheese, a little parmesan cheese. One with fried onion flakes, one with little bacon bits. You can toss that on just a little on the top. Give it a little crunch.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that would be. That's a little too touristy. But I think your proteins for sure should be. Here's how I'm picturing it. The tray that you will. That we will have. That you will have.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like that you with his broth idea, but you won't fucking roll with me with my texture idea.

[Big J Okerson]

I think broth is my idea.

[Robert Kelly]

You're okay, well, whatever.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm giving all these to the company.

[Robert Kelly]

I rolled with that. First of all, me and him are the head of the company.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, So I think the texture idea, I'm going to. I'm going to say that's a good idea.

[Christine]

I just want to make one augmentation to the add ins. Because I like the add in idea. But I think that should be your station. I like the. You doing that for people and jazzing it up.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you mean saying, what do you want? But call it something.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

What are you looking for?

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, no, we call it this. Ready?

[Christine]

The sprinkle station.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you want it jazzed up. Yeah, right? You want it. You want it jazzed up.

[Christine]

That made me feel good.

[Robert Kelly]

How do you want it jazzed? You want. You want it? You want it? You want.

[Robbie Bernstein]

You want me to jazz all over this? Shake a little jazz on this?

[Robert Kelly]

We call it the faga.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah, that's.

[Robert Kelly]

I like that.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I like that. I'll license that name to you.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm, I'm, I'm happy with this idea. Let's get this truck going. We park it right out front.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, guys, actually, before I put this out there, I'm gonna trademark this so you guys can't steal this, but what the fuck?

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, you're all business.

[Robbie Bernstein]

This is a bento box that you've drawn.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's what I'm picturing a box, but it's sorted a certain way. This Is your rice a Roni. It's gonna go in the big bowl.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

And then the little small section over here, that's like little half. That's where your protein will go. You don't gotta throw your protein on the rice because rice a Roni, historically, in your mind, is nice when you have your chicken on the side cut up. And then you go. You get your chicken. He goes, you grab a little bit of that rice a Roni on there. So you get to do it the way you like to do it. And then two little circles for your broth and sauce choices.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it.

[Christine]

It's like Dunkaroo style almost.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, rice a roll.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to say this. Dude, I love it. I love that.

[Robbie Bernstein]

And all those should be removable cups so you could. You could dump the meat on top.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I just say one thing?

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I say one thing? Is there any way on the chicken we don't go full breast? We go thigh skin on.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm out.

[Robert Kelly]

No skin on.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not about me. This is about you guys.

[Robert Kelly]

It's fine. Trademark the box we're gonna have to use. So now you're in.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen, you guys are definitely gonna have to get the boxes from me.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, Listen, we're getting the boxes from you. So we'll go breast.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are starting this company. I just started a box company.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, are you really just. That's actually. You're not a thigh guy, you're a breast guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't mind. The taste of dark meat is delicious. What you might get in your mouth when you're going for dark meat, though, is not worth the dark meat.

[Robert Kelly]

What about crispy skin?

[Big J Okerson]

Crispy skin is delightful.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I think that should be your. I think that should be one of your crunchy shake ons.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Now if you could tell me.

[Robert Kelly]

Texture. It'll be a texture. Now if you could tell me, it'll be a jazz.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

If you could tell me, though, that, like, this chicken has been so combed over that you are, in fact, there is no gristle, there is no fat, there is no tendon. There's no any of that in this.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I had a rooster comb over it.

[Big J Okerson]

Some places don't give a fuck. Some places give you a piece of fucking dark meat chicken, and it's gamey and shitty.

[Robert Kelly]

Who do you think we are?

[Robbie Bernstein]

A chicken leg will have just a vein in it and be a little bloody in the middle even though it's cooked.

[Christine]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Our chicken will be pure thigh Chicken. How about this choice breast? Thigh meat. But the thigh meat will always, always be perfect, juicy thigh meat. No gristle, no ligaments, no tendons. No shit.

[Big J Okerson]

How about.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God, he has his. He has his thought fingers. Guys, we're in for something. Let me tell you something right now, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

How do you feel about grinding up the dark meat chicken and making it into like your own kind of like, maybe skewers of like. What is that called? Raval does that Kuba de. But it's like they're gonna fight just. Yeah, the kumite, the dark arts.

[Robbie Bernstein]

You gotta dip it in glass.

[Christine]

What about like a shawarma chicken?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's sort of what I mean. Yeah, sort of what I mean. But this is ground, this place. It's. It's almost like kefta or something. Yes, but it's chicken.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

So you do that with the dark meat. So it's a super tasty, like chicken burger, almost piece.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you don't have to worry about anyone going. Because when you go, well, it's thigh meat. And they go, I don't like dark thighs with all this stuff. And they go, oh, no, no, it's ground.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it.

[Big J Okerson]

So it's like burp. I jump back in.

[Robert Kelly]

You're back in. Great. I'm with that. Let's do that. But here's another thing. Let me just throw this in the mix. Our spoons are like, you know, the soup spoons.

[Robbie Bernstein]

You get good Asian spoons.

[Robert Kelly]

A good big. So when you scoop out.

[Christine]

What about a spork? I feel like this could be a spork activity.

[Robert Kelly]

Nose pork. No spork. We go spoon and you scoop it out. But a big. Like a big spoon. Like the soup spoon, you know, the one you get in the miso soup or the. Where it hangs on the side. We get our own spoon where it's.

[Christine]

Big and that way you scoop on special occasions. Can we do turkey legs?

[Robbie Bernstein]

Ooh, for like the Ren fair. Can I see the ren fair?

[Robert Kelly]

Here's the thing about the turkey leg. It's overrated. The turkey leg is over. It looks like it's going to be great. And it's. It's never been great. And it always has that pink steak meat in it, which I.

[Big J Okerson]

Look, that's what your chicken things would look like.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'm in.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen, I hate to just stay over here on the Jewish side of the table with our ideas.

[Christine]

Don't take a filter fish. You'll be canceled off of this.

[Robert Kelly]

I will make my own bento Box. We will create our own box. And you'll.

[Big J Okerson]

Buddy, I've already got.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but we.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm already out to the. What do they call that?

[Robbie Bernstein]

That's intellectual property.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? Yeah, but I don't know if you saw that.

[Robbie Bernstein]

You see that blue thing on the side? That's a patency.

[Robert Kelly]

What is that? What is that on the corner?

[Big J Okerson]

Trademark.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? What's. What does it say?

[Big J Okerson]

TM don't usually do a registered.

[Robert Kelly]

Isn't it?

[Christine]

Isn't it?

[Robert Kelly]

Take the paper.

[Big J Okerson]

Also, these are parv. Which is another Jewish thing. Yeah. You're gonna need these boxes. And I'm probably gonna charge out the ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, not if you. Not if we.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

If we bring you into the fold.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not interested in getting in business. I.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Well, the box is already folded.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, the box is going.

[Robert Kelly]

So what kind of box is it? Is this a plastic box? Is this a paper box?

[Big J Okerson]

It's a paper box. Thick stock. And it comes together in a very fun way. As my friend Robby here said too. Everything being or might have been, Chris. Everything.

[Robert Kelly]

Individual cups fits ramekins into this little ramek plastic.

[Big J Okerson]

Without ramek, everything is like this is the shape of the box. But you could always have ready. Also, it makes things move quick when you have a rush. You could already have all the rice. A Ronis, can I give you a bit? And this thing ready to go. You dropping a rice, Roni, what's your thing? The little bowl, the protein and what's your sauces? Pow pow.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I make up a suggestion for your box for your company? Even though it's going to affect my company. Our company. Sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

I might make these plastic and really make them really cut into your profits.

[Robert Kelly]

Make them plastic and make the top top of the box pop out. Spoon.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. I don't mind that. I think it's. I think any kind of marketing thing is gonna be fun. But again, not to jump over on team Robbie here, but you really bowled over his spork idea. Which I don't love because the spork.

[Robert Kelly]

We don't.

[Big J Okerson]

No. But here. But you have to. I think a collaborator. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Builds upon ideas.

[Christine]

I think what Bobby was getting at. If I may.

[Robert Kelly]

Please, Robbie.

[Christine]

I don't want to put words in.

[Robert Kelly]

Your mouth, but I partners.

[Christine]

I picked up on your energy.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you.

[Christine]

That you know, the idea of the spork is nice because you get the grip going in, but then you don't have the smooth texture against your tongue.

[Robert Kelly]

And another thing, Robby, if I may. If I may he wants the clump. When you. When you. My thing I don't like. If someone gives me a. When I eat rice, it's with a spoon.

[Christine]

Interesting.

[Robert Kelly]

If you eat rice with a fork, it falls through. Rice goes through the fork. It should be, you know, not a long grain. Chinese people eat rice with chopsticks. Nothing to do with what I'm saying. But here's the thing.

[Christine]

It feels like too much work.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's the thing. You get it with a spoon, but you can put the chicken but the other stuff on it and in one bite you have it all. And you get enough of the rice to feel like you got it. When you get a fork, it falls through the fork.

[Big J Okerson]

You ready for a collaborators voice here to come in?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I thought we were.

[Big J Okerson]

Instead of you just chastising. I'm not Robbie the fire.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, don't even try to. Me and my partner are just working on.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Can you make like a soup spork? Is that a thing? Maybe we can maybe start designing this.

[Big J Okerson]

Can't. You know what, While you say that, let me trademark this. Son, real quick.

[Robert Kelly]

God damn it. Somebody get a piece of pen and a paper, please.

[Big J Okerson]

Now. Sorry. Trademark your big soup spoon.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Which is a great idea.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

And it just has a little bit of, by the way, not coming above on the same flat surface. The top of the spoon you get a little spork action. This way when you grab your rice, you just go over to your chicken thing and snag a few off. That's going to have a little grip on it. So spork at the top. Spork. But four sporks on the. On the top rim, outside rim of your soup.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I say something?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a fantastic idea.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a fantastic idea. I think we're moving and shaking.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it's a great idea.

[Robbie Bernstein]

But here's the thing. Now do you have to go ambidextrous? Do you have to have one? Because if it's only four on one side, you have to have them for left handers and right handers. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's not on one side. It's the front. It's going to be the front. Yeah, you're going to go down with your fork and then you can kind of just go over and just grab a couple of your chickens with it.

[Robert Kelly]

And then you have that too and you get it all in your mouth. But it has to.

[Big J Okerson]

Or you can grab the chicken first, get the chicken base and then you. Oh, Buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it a deep spoon?

[Big J Okerson]

The spoon's deep. Look how.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you need a deep spoon.

[Big J Okerson]

Look how deep I made that spoon.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that. There's nothing worse than a shallow spoon.

[Big J Okerson]

This is a top shot of it with the teeth.

[Robert Kelly]

That's fantastic. I'm in.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's great.

[Robert Kelly]

And it's. It's part of the box that you make. So we buy the spoons and the box.

[Big J Okerson]

All.

[Robert Kelly]

It comes in one.

[Christine]

Are you willing to throw that in at no added charge?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll throw in the spork.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

For you. I'll be handling all of your packaging. I don't really want in grass roots level with. With the actual truck itself, but your packaging.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, I'm gonna pay for all of this. You guys are gonna run it.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

And I come in every once in a while.

[Robbie Bernstein]

We can sell weed out of it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, of course. You have to sell weed out of it.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Out of every.

[Big J Okerson]

Get that California stuff. People will come back.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You sell it before they buy their food. Yes, absolutely.

[Big J Okerson]

And you go, oh, nothing, officer. Just selling rice a roli.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And you can sell Zen out of if you want to.

[Big J Okerson]

I think also if we start making some profits community, I would tap in with this with you guys too. We really try to do a local payoff situation where we start getting some of these cops on the payroll.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Of course we're going to. How are we going to get a prime spot in front of serious.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I'd say it's probably a matter of sheer months before we're officially above the law. We take back what's ours.

[Robert Kelly]

How funny would be if listeners listening right now and in three months it already exists.

[Big J Okerson]

This whole thing.

[Robert Kelly]

A rice truck is the greatest lunch thing ever.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Or somebody sitting on this like this is their great idea and they're like.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck, I love that. It's the ethnic memory food of Christine's entire childhood. And we have not even incorporated her one.

[Robert Kelly]

We are. First of all, she's going to be the cartoon face of it. We're going to have her in a gypsy thing with some type of gypsy jewelry.

[Robbie Bernstein]

The little symbols.

[Christine]

Well, just to speak to the market opportunity here. I feel like the halal carts have owned chicken over rice for too long. And there aren't enough rice options.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Christine]

With just greasy chicken. I really feel like we're filling a market need here.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. We don't have to bleed our chickens out so there's no blood in them.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Oh, good. Good American chicken and rice.

[Robert Kelly]

Good American chicken and rice.

[Big J Okerson]

And we should get on that KFC thing where they're just made of breasts and thighs and head. You know what I mean? Those freaky ones, they're growing.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we get steroid chickens.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah, like the. The Megan the stallion of chickens.

[Robert Kelly]

Is there, Is there?

[Big J Okerson]

If you're gonna make Christine the cartoon like person, like the, you know, it's like the face of rice A Roli. I would probably just make her eyes like ambiguously far apart. So you know, I mean where it's like. So they go, oh, maybe she's slow. Because some people think they're when they're helping out something like we did for Christine. Maybe Christine's like, oh, and she might be people looking. They go, we did this to inspis is inspired all by this kid right here. And then it'll be a picture of Christine where they go, oh, I think she might be retarded.

[Robert Kelly]

We should have one eye going. One eye, the other eye looking straight. Yes, 100%. But he's onto something.

[Big J Okerson]

Biggie small size.

[Robert Kelly]

She should have a partner in it. Camel.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Isn't that getting back to the Arabian?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Well, let's find out. What is your animal of your country? What? The sloth? What are you guys. What weird animal?

[Christine]

No idea.

[Big J Okerson]

What is the camel work? I think.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it a camel? Maybe it might be a camel.

[Big J Okerson]

Most the desert, I assume.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. You don't know?

[Robbie Bernstein]

I don't really know.

[Big J Okerson]

It's near stuff that's kind of desert. Yeah.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Turkey. That's kind of. Yeah, it's deserted.

[Robert Kelly]

I bet it's a fox. There you go, Mouflon.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, the mouflon.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the mouflon. Her pet mouflon.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Mouflon is the dessert. But it's.

[Christine]

Armenia. She's going to come back with Armenia convenience, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a couple of them. Wait, go back to get out of the mufa because there was a couple over there. The ortolan bunting. Okay, now we're cooking with gas. The scenarios vulture. That should be our special.

[Robert Kelly]

I like that and I like the last.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, would you like chicken or beef with that? And someone just goes vulture. And you go, secret menu.

[Robbie Bernstein]

That's the big gang bang.

[Big J Okerson]

There you go. He goes and fuck the Turks. And you go. Yeah, with some vulture meat.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, what's that one?

[Big J Okerson]

The ibex.

[Robert Kelly]

The ibex. The bizarre ibex that looks like the.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Kind of thing you eat that and it gives you a fucking hard on. Right. The Chinese are poaching this thing for its penis.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. That's that should be it right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at those. Oh, yeah, that should be. That's. That is nice.

[Christine]

That almost Christine is gonna be you.

[Big J Okerson]

Like this lady is gonna be you jacking off the horn of a fucking ibex. Ibex.

[Robbie Bernstein]

For tourists, we have, like, a big horn that you can get your soda in. Right. Like that's what you're drinking.

[Big J Okerson]

The ibex horn.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Christine]

That looks like a dumb animal, because I feel like if you ram something, the horns end up going into your back.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it is a really dumb animal.

[Robert Kelly]

It kills itself every time.

[Christine]

That's what it looks like. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

That one actually probably just hasn't cut its horns.

[Robbie Bernstein]

The horns are actually evolved to help it. Zip line just hooks on.

[Big J Okerson]

I like the picture of Christine holding both horns, standing on the ibex back like she's water skiing.

[Christine]

Like one of the worms in whatever. That dumb dune.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Like a sand worm. And then also, though, if you're not gonna do the eyes because you wanted to make sure it doesn't look Christine maybe have, like, the tongue just, like, dangling out of the mouth, like.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

If she comes off handy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I really like her. If Christine could seem special needs, I think does. And we could always say the proceeds go to her. We don't have to say it's to fix anything. We go. The proceeds go to her to go. What's wrong with her? And you'd be like, why don't you tell me? Look at that woman riding that ibex with reckless Amanda.

[Christine]

I kind of like the idea of Bobby riding one of these, holding a giant ladle.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't be in it. I can't. I mean, I do. Listen, I love it, but we need Christine to be involved in this at some point. You know what I mean? I don't want to take too much shine off of that. And it's her country's dish.

[Big J Okerson]

How about Christine wearing a rice hat? We give her two buck teeth and we call her phony rice. A Roni.

[Robert Kelly]

I like it.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just thinking out loud, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

A spoon in one hand.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Spork spoon.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Spork spoon in one hand.

[Big J Okerson]

Is there vulture? You want some vulture meat? Vulture meat.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I can't wait to get this going. Are you guys ready to rock and roll?

[Christine]

I'm quitting comedy. This is, you know, put a special out. That's it. Let's get into the rice business.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't quit comedy. I mean, you have a. You have stuff happening right now. You have a lot of stuff going. Both of you guys have a lot of stuff going down right now.

[Big J Okerson]

He's got a special right now called Live from Denver Comedy Garage. Not an actual place.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you please explain that to me?

[Christine]

I filmed it from a fan's garage out in Denver, Colorado. And we. I mean, went great. Two shows, 40 people. First show was a dud, so we took 100% of the second show. That's why make sure to film too.

[Robert Kelly]

That's why you filmed two.

[Christine]

That's why you filmed too.

[Robert Kelly]

And then he have a heart attack. My first.

[Big J Okerson]

Really? People came and were. I mean, I think if you come to something that like acutely, like marketed, you know, I mean, you come with a pretty good attitude. They were just like the low energy.

[Christine]

No, no, the show was fine. I. I was uncomfortable filming.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you were in a garage.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah, it was fun. If I had to put it out, I just wouldn't have been as. But the second show was like electric start. That's what you want in a film. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Were you next to like a. Like a lawnmower and a weed whacker with a thing or did you make the garage like a set?

[Christine]

No, we say. I put up a nice flag in the backdrop and American we. No, I. I made my own flag for the. From the podcast. I took my logo.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, nice.

[Christine]

Yeah, we put up some nice lighting. We put the chairs in.

[Robert Kelly]

What did they do with all. What did they do with all this guy's stuff in the garage? Was that like the driveway?

[Christine]

That was the afternoon activity. Was clearing out a garage.

[Big J Okerson]

Taught Rob. He had it goes. Hey, Rob, you want to hand me that 3 inches wrench? Yeah, sure. Let's build this thing. Chris, burn. After saying you're special, I'm assuming you just filmed it in a comedy club like some jerk off.

[Robbie Bernstein]

It was actually a libertarian clubhouse. Rob.

[Robert Kelly]

Where did you film it? New Hampshire.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Rollinsford, New Hampshire.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, where is that? What is that? Up upstate or.

[Robbie Bernstein]

I don't know. He drove.

[Robert Kelly]

Where is that near?

[Christine]

That's a great question. It's not far from like Manchester. It's like a four hour drive.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah, it's right near. Is that Porchester?

[Christine]

I think they call it the seacoast.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Manchester is one of my favorite places. To murder your family by forgotten fire.

[Christine]

It's not far from Portsmouth, which is beautiful.

[Robert Kelly]

They got a great comedy club in there.

[Christine]

Do they really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, they got an awesome comedy club there in Portsmouth.

[Big J Okerson]

Guilford, New Hampshire.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's great.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a Guilford guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you Guilford? I'm a Portsmouth That's a little more.

[Big J Okerson]

Up class if we're talking New Hampshire. I'm a Guilford guy.

[Christine]

Portsmouth's fun because I always make sure to go there. And I walk around, I go, this is really pretty. I'm at the end and then you turn around, you're like. But it's really pretty for this one block.

[Robert Kelly]

Great cigar lounge there.

[Robbie Bernstein]

Oh, really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Awesome cigar lounge. Great nightlife. And the comedy club's awesome. It's like a little tiny 150seater and it's, it's perfect. Perfect room.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, make sure you check out both specials, everybody. Robbie Bernstein live from the Denver Comedy Garage. Not an actual place. And Chris Vega Byrne after saying, filmed live in New Hampshire. Both out right now on YouTube. It's just two clicks away from watching both of them. Everybody get those views up. Get it in the algorithm, comment, all that stuff, man. Make sure you just interact with it. That's what helps out when these things come out and keeps them moving.

[Robert Kelly]

So you got to leave comments, you got to like, you got to subscribe all that stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys are long time buddies. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Make sure you check them out. Burn. After saying. Chris Vega, live from the Denver Comedy Garage, Robbie Bernstein. We hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Make sure you check out my new YouTube page with all my comedy on it. Robert Kelly comedy at YouTube. Brand new. My special is going up there. I got a bunch of all my standup is going up there. So go there, subscribe and support the channel over there if you want to see my stand up, which is not really available.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, guess what everyone. There was a Sunday show I totally didn't know about in Philly. So get tickets for that.

[Robert Kelly]

Please fill it up and make sure. I got a pivot today, by the way. I got the only pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

Only pivot of the day.

[Robert Kelly]

Very excited. Go to Thanksgiving with the only pivot.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, indeed. It's a good. Christine's only down one.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, we don't know that.

[Big J Okerson]

BigJ comedy.com Punchup Live. Robert Kelly. Check us out. We're all over the place. And we'll be back with you Monday, Monday, Monday. Fun day building. Everybody cracked. Cracked. When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't drink at all until 4:00. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night. Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks a few nights a week, it can add up and suddenly.

[Big J Okerson]

We'Re at greater risk for long term.

[Robert Kelly]

Problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the Drink. [e-mail] An OHA initiative to realize the future America needs. We understand what's needed from us to face each threat head on. We've earned our place in the fight for our nation's future. We are Marines.

[Big J Okerson]

We were made for this.