Rockstar Turkey Necks

Summary

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The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Rockstar Turkey Necks
Date: October 29, 2025
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson, Robert Kelly
Channel: SiriusXM Faction Talk

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

In their signature loose and irreverent style, Big Jay and Bobby, alongside regulars Christine and Jacob, take listeners on a comedic deep dive into the perils of aging rock stars, turkey necks, questionable gym habits, estate planning, and the ongoing evolution of the show’s studio. The laughs are punctuated by brutally honest observations about life, relationships, and the unglamorous realities of getting older—especially for those who were once beautiful, leather-clad gods of the stage. The crew’s playfulness, self-deprecation, and chemistry as they riff on everything from colonoscopies to AI-generated porn make for an episode equal parts roast, therapy, and inside comedy hang.

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KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & SEGMENTS

1. Aging Rock Stars Get Roasted: Sebastian Bach vs. Axl Rose

[01:07 – 07:34]

• The gang opens with a tongue-in-cheek lament about the physical decline of beloved ‘80s rockers.
• Big Jay wonders: "Why is he such a face of a guy?" about a rock vocalist, and the group launches into a merciless comparison of Sebastian Bach and Axl Rose’s “fall from grace,” focusing on body shape, teeth, and “turkey neck.”
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Axl Rose has aged like an open orange.” (Bobby, [02:13])
  • “His hair is fricasseed and up!...Now he looks like the commish with a wig on.” (Big Jay, [03:29])
  • “He looks like the night nurse at a hospital.” (Christine, [05:21])
• Christine suggests aging rock stars should “wear bandanas or scarves around their chicken necks.”
• The crew agree facial hair, hats, and sunglasses are now crucial for these icons.

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2. Insecurities, Turkey Necks, and Personal Maintenance

[07:34 – 12:33]

• The conversation turns introspective as hosts poke fun at their own appearance anxieties.
• Bobby confesses to moisturizing and sunscreening his neck out of terror at developing “turkey neck.”
• Christine admits losing weight led to some under-chin sag, and Jay shares his strategic use of shirt collars and beards to hide the neck.
• Quote:
  • “I live my life, Bobby, overthinking and concerned...trying to keep the collars of my shirts as up high on my neck as humanly possible.” (Big Jay, [07:34])
• Christine shares anecdotes about celebrities like Corey Feldman and Ellen having their “neckage” betray their age, and jokes about cosmetic surgery and bizarre skin treatments.

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3. Wills, Estate Planning, and Relationship Jokes

[13:42 – 17:27]

• Jay reveals he’s signed paperwork to leave his house (and its debt) to Christine in the event of his passing.
• The group riff on the practical and comedic aspects of estate planning (“cups,” “Kikiko blankets,” “even the dog”).
• Bobby wonders how long Christine would need Jay to live for it to be a financial win.
• Quote:
  • “She’s the heir to my house...She’s an heiress.” (Big Jay, [16:07])

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4. Gym Fails & Barbell Mishaps

[16:25 – 20:33]

• Jay details a near-miss in his home gym, describing a time he nearly got trapped under a barbell (and had to roll it down his body).
• Christine and Bobby discuss the surprising weight of a standard barbell vs. cheaply-filled “sand weights” of their youth.
• Quote:
  • “I had to roll it down my face, neck, tits, belly, pussy and crack.” (Big Jay, [17:14])

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5. Studio Upgrades: Conga Drums, Drum Kits, and Non-Verbal Communication

[26:26 – 32:23]

• The hosts introduce bongos to the studio as a new bit, planning to have producer Jacob communicate exclusively through drum fills.
• The gang brainstorms drum cue signals for segment changes, laughs, and show transitions, riffing on “Easy Lover” and “Bang Your Head.”
• Christine: “Don’t say it. Play it.” ([28:05])
• The bit enjoys wide acceptance and quickly becomes the episode’s meta-narrative running joke.

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6. Colonoscopy Stories & Men’s Health

[32:49 – 35:32]

• DJ Lou shares his first colonoscopy experience, which was “glorious”—mainly in how quick and painless it was ("over like that...felt absolutely nothing”).
• Bobby and Jay riff on sedation, the delirium after waking up, and the letdown that there’s “no pleasure in the procedure.”
• The segment veers into absurdity with jokes about finishing during anesthesia.
• Quote:
  • “I’m gonna be unconscious and just blow a load everywhere when they hit the spot.” (Big Jay, [34:34])

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7. AI Porn Jokes & The Bonfire Love Triangle

[36:11 – 37:27]

• The hosts riff on the potential for fan-made AI porn featuring themselves and Christine.
• Jay: “I hope people start making aggressive pornography with AI Christine.” ([36:31])
• They discuss who’s the show’s “Ross and Rachel” (Jacob and Christine are elected) and muse on if/when this will “ever go down.”
• Christine paints a scenario of walking in on Jacob and herself, leading Jay to say: “I’d start clapping like Ned Beatty at the end of Rudy.” ([37:40])

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8. Game Night, Jeopardy-Style

[38:50 – 40:20]

• Christine and a guest address a game played earlier in the episode, recapping embarrassing miss rates and how some rounds went awry.
• Jay’s confidence remains undimmed:
  • “I could have done better if they were different questions.” ([39:53])

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9. The “N Word” Song Game & Inside Jokes

[41:04 – 41:32]

• The group riffs on an inside joke-song game involving the “N word” and the requisite syllables for proper timing.
• “Yeah, just make sure you say the N word...You want to be screaming that.” (Christine, [41:04])—delivered in the show's typical irreverent, boundary-pushing style.

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10. Closing Banter: Comedy Dates & Callbacks

[41:36 – End]

• The crew plugs their live dates and Jay’s new vinyl album, “They/Them.”
• Moments of classic Bonfire warmth and subversion as they tease future shows and recap the episode’s highlights.

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NOTABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS WITH TIMESTAMPS

• Rock Star Roasts

  • Big Jay: “I think I could beat the shit out of Sebastian Bach.” [01:41]
  • Christine: “Axel Rose has aged like an open orange.” ([02:13])
  • Big Jay: “He looks like Cagney and Lacey.” [03:41]

• On Aging & Necks

  • Bobby: “I’m terrified of turkey neck.” [09:40]

• Estate Planning Absurdity

  • Big Jay: “She’s the heir to my house...She’s an heiress.” [16:07]

• Gym Mishaps

  • Big Jay: “I had to roll it down my face, neck, tits, belly, pussy and crack.” [17:14]

• Drums as Communication

  • Christine: “Don’t say it. Play it.” [28:05]

• On AI & Future Tech

  • Christine: “What, can he take your voice and make it say whatever he wants?” [36:11]
  • Big Jay: “I hope people start making aggressive pornography with AI Christine.” [36:31]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:07] – Rock star aging roast begins
• [07:34] – “Turkey neck” anxieties and cosmetic fixes
• [13:42] – Jay’s estate planning and relationship jokes
• [16:25] – Home gym/barbell mishap story
• [26:26] – The bongo/drum kit communication segment
• [32:49] – Colonoscopy stories and men’s health
• [36:11] – AI technology and Bonfire "fan fiction"
• [38:50] – Jeopardy-style game and stats recap
• [41:04] – "N word" song game banter
• [41:36] – Upcoming tour dates and album promo

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SUMMARY

This episode of The Bonfire delivers what fans expect: riotous banter, savage roasts (aimed at both celebrities and themselves), genuine friendship, and a relentless willingness to find the joke in the dark and awkward corners of adulthood. The hosts revel in picking apart the indignities of aging (especially for former sex symbols), worry—then joke—about their own physical decline, and experiment with new, delightfully absurd bits (hello, Drum-Only Jacob). Running gags, callbacks to Bonfire lore, and hard-hitting punchlines make this an essential listen for fans of unfiltered comedy and behind-the-curtain glimpses of the stand-up world.

It’s a refreshingly honest and consistently hilarious meditation on mortality, comedy, music, and the camaraderie that makes suffering a little more bearable—especially if you’re willing to laugh at yourself.

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Transcript

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With my job, I can't drink during the week. Weekends are a different story.

[Robert Kelly]

Ugh.

[Christine]

After eight hours of this, I have earned my wine. You know what I'm saying?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My family is a lot. It takes me four beers just to hang out with them.

[Robert Kelly]

Binge drinking isn't all college kids doing keg stands. Oregonians in their 30s and 40s binge drink at close to the same rates as younger people, raising our risk for long term health problems. [e-mail] an OHA initiative.

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you.

[Mint Mobile Advertiser]

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[Amazon Advertiser]

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[Christine]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Robert Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Through every endless day I want to hear you say and would I remember.

[Christine]

You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, he's so talented. Why is he such a face of a guy?

[Christine]

God, he's good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hate his guts.

[Christine]

I love his. His voice is the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's him and the guy from Three Days Grace. The only people I'd ever fight at Skangfest. Bunch of old men. You gotta fight a bunch of old men swinging for the fences. I'm gonna fucking cave skid Row's chest in.

[Christine]

You're gonna punch them in their barrel chests.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think I could beat the shit out of Sebastian Bach.

[Christine]

Yeah, now you could. He's got little stick legs and a huge upper torso.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was never jacked or anything.

[Christine]

His head is massive now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, big target.

[Christine]

I mean, his head got so big.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He'S gonna be punching Easter island statues.

[Christine]

And his legs are still the same size. It's weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He.

[Christine]

He's an Edward Scissorhand.

[Bobby]

Out of all the the rock stars that fell off, I feel like his. He was one of the hardest looks Axel Rose.

[Christine]

Axel Rose just talking like that dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Axel Roses aged like a open orange.

[Bobby]

Yeah, he looked bad, but I think he actually, he got really bad now. He looks slightly better.

[Christine]

No, no, no, no. His teeth are all fucked. He looks like a sucked up Jacqueline face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's crazy.

[Christine]

Look crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His hair is fricasseed and up. Why? He's not Sebastian by Sebastian Bach.

[Christine]

I mean, look how good looking he was back then.

[Bobby]

That's what I'm saying.

[Christine]

Jesus.

[Bobby]

I'm talking about the fall.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was gorgeous.

[Bobby]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now he's a crud.

[Christine]

Yeah, he was gorgeous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now he's willing to go out there and take off a he dress like a chicken on Mass Singer. Hey, everybody, I'm a.

[Bobby]

From that peak to to today, it's Axel's worst watch.

[Christine]

Bring up Axl Rose. That one I picked up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Axl Rose is worse than current Sebastian Bach for sure.

[Christine]

We were out front just talking about it and we brought up a close up of his. He's got short red hair now, like my aunt Peggy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And short white teeth.

[Christine]

And his teeth are all corroded. He's disgusting. Now scroll down, find the one that we looked at out front. Oh, God, where is it? Oh, right in the middle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my Christ Almighty, dude. I mean, he's crazy looking.

[Christine]

Are you not? Look at his hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This poor guy was.

[Bobby]

I don't think he's as bad a fall off, really.

[LinkedIn Advertiser]

Are you kidding?

[Bobby]

It's bad. I'm not arguing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so bad.

[Christine]

He has mod hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He used to be Axl Rose. Now he looks like the commish with.

[Christine]

A wig on, buddy. He looks like Cagney and lazy. He's unbelievable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's so ugly.

[Bobby]

Come on, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sebastian Bach looks better than Axl rose. 1,000%. It's unquote. Christine, you're a girl. Yeah. Okay, current Sebastian Bach. Current Axl Rose.

[Christine]

Give her a name.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Hang on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry, I'm getting.

[Christine]

Sebastian Bach still has his long hair.

[Bobby]

Take it in for a second, Christine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go on, take it in. Current. V. Current.

[Bobby]

Okay.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I mean, Sebastian Bach is. The hair is crazy on him, I'll give you that. But the actual aging on the face looks like it's worse on Sebastian. Like, look at, like look at how.

[Bobby]

Come on, dude.

[Guest or Female Participant]

He's cratery. His face is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, for sure, for sure. But Axl Roses.

[Guest or Female Participant]

And also look at how he looked. I mean, that's such a crazy difference. Like, at least Axl Rose, like what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was gorgeous.

[Christine]

Look at him. They're both gorgeous when they were young.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Yes. He didn't look like a girl. This looks like a trans person.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Though he does look way better. Sebastian Bach was a sexy hot chick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's actually not. That's not a good picture of him. If you go to the fucking I remember you video, he looks like a pretty woman.

[Christine]

Yeah, he's gorgeous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He looks like a pretty chick. Bring that video up that. So he has his fall off from being as gorgeous. He was. He was more gorgeous than Axl Rose in his prime. For sure he was more of a good. But Axl Rose was very attractive and very cool looking. And now I mean looks like. I mean it looks like a lady named Ruth. I would think that was somebody named Ruth. Yeah, but a mean lady on the neighborhood.

[Christine]

He looks like the night nurse at a hospital.

[Guest or Female Participant]

The skin and the aging is just worse.

[Christine]

But can I say something? You're looking at a good bad photo of Axel now that like find the photo I showed you where you can see him. Where it wasn't like bad pre planned.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, go, go towards. I mean this guy. Look at his face. This guy was stunning. What a stunning lady.

[Bobby]

I still. I think the fall off is worse with him.

[Christine]

No way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, how gorgeous is Sebastian Bach? Young Sebastian Bach.

[Christine]

Oh my God. Listen to his voice.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Looks like a. It's not that he's not gorgeous. He looks like a gorgeous lady.

[Christine]

Yeah. What's wrong with that? That's a gorgeous boy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the point you're making? I don't understand the you're saying. And why do they all refuse to have a beard to give him a face?

[Bobby]

What. What look should Axel get if you were act.

[Christine]

His teeth are all rotten.

[Bobby]

All right.

[Christine]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe I'll tell you what.

[Bobby]

You get hair and facial hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd say at this point you got to. The hair's done.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So cut the hair to a short haircut. Don't worry about the hair. Go back to that. It should never not be that. With no gross hair coming out of it. And also sunglasses on.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Christine]

You stop getting your haircut like Bea Arthur.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And put a hat on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never let anybody see the fucking hair ever again. That's gone. That part of your life's over.

[Christine]

Slash should give him the hat. Sure. Slash has great hair.

[Bobby]

Smelly hat.

[Christine]

Give him smelly hat and keep that on all the fucking time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And honestly, I think possibly maybe this hat is more age appropriate. But I would say Axel should go with the fucking trucker hat. But this works. The brim hat also works for this.

[Bobby]

You're saying he has to wear a hat now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And sunglasses.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hide that fucking face. And if he had any sense on him, grow a little beard. Grow some facial hair.

[Christine]

Can I say this? I think he should have some type of bandana around his chicken neck or maybe a scarf around his neck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like an ass guy.

[Christine]

Look at the Side of his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Freddy from Scooby Doo.

[Christine]

Look at the side of his neck. No, like a rock and roll scarf. Like, maybe the one you have in your back pocket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Guys got turkey neck. No doubt. For sure. Okay. I can see what you're saying. For sure. Listen, he should be more concerned.

[Bobby]

He doesn't want.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I live my. I live my life, Bobby. Overthinking and concerned, I was gonna say.

[Christine]

I thought you could put the word in there, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I live my life N word. Trying to keep the collars of my shirts as up high on my neck as humanly possible. Axl Rose is a human being who has accepted very much in life that whatever the collar on this shirt is, I'm wearing it. It's why I'm so picky about shirts. Because most T shirts you buy now have like a. I don't know, like some trying to fucking model rainy day clothes for a sad, skinny boy. I don't know why the fucking necks are so big.

[Christine]

That's why I always go with true classic T shirts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Christine]

You're a T shirt for men.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you're not just a CEO, You're a customer.

[Christine]

I'm telling you. Have you seen Dan Soda's fucking T shirts? His collar is 2 inches thick. He always has a T shirt with like a 2 inch. I don't know what. What sponsor he has.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think the sponsor. It seems like a thick neck shirt. I agree. I'm with it.

[Christine]

He has, like, rugby shirt T shirts. Look at that. Zoom in on those teeth right there. You tell. Look at this mouth. Look at this mouth. You tell me that this mouth right here is okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's crazy is that he's 20 years younger than Angus Young, who he's in this picture with.

[Christine]

Oh, my. Look at those teeth. Look at those. Look at those little chicks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's 20 years younger than Angus Young.

[Bobby]

What?

[Guest or Female Participant]

Really?

[Christine]

No, sir.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The guy sitting next to him.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. Easy.

[Christine]

Yeah, he looks like. Dude, look at his hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't Axel Rosa be almost 20 years younger than Angus Young?

[Bobby]

15 years 60s. And I think Angus might be 80 now. Something like that.

[Christine]

That's nuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, like, 15 is 15, 16.

[Jacob]

At least years older than this is 70, Axel.

[Bobby]

Is Angus. Is he that young?

[Christine]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he.

[Bobby]

Oh, it's Brian Johnson, I think is past 80.

[Christine]

Look at those teeth are just dying. There's black around the gum.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Axl Rose is gross.

[Jacob]

Yeah, he's great.

[Christine]

And his hair is cotton candy gay.

[Bobby]

Got me. Bobby terrified of turkey neck now, so I Put like I lotion my neck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should. You should.

[Bobby]

And I put sunscreen on my neck just now. No, I've been doing it for a couple since he. He pointed out turkey neck. The neck is the telltale.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a giveaway.

[Bobby]

I have a little for years. For a couple of years now.

[Christine]

I. When I was fat I had a nice big fat second chin. It's really kind of just filled itself out. And then when I lost weight I got a little. I got a little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but you got a nice chin.

[Christine]

I got a nice chin but I used to. I don't like the neck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I keep a beard so I don't know what's going on really. But I think I'm relatively tight.

[Christine]

I'm going to start wearing ascots because.

[Bobby]

I remember you pointing out Corey Feldman his age finally showed in his neck.

[Christine]

Yeah Ellen. That was her first. They really nabbed her one day with yes her neck.

[Bobby]

That's right.

[Christine]

She always used to wear high collared stuff. And then one day she was out in her. The back of her knee neck was showing. It was disgusting.

[Bobby]

The neck is the.

[Christine]

But I think she got everyone. I think she got surgery on it. I didn't get it fixed.

[Bobby]

You can have sir tighten your neck.

[Christine]

You know what dawn got from Dr. Gale?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I fell.

[Christine]

Dr. Gil gave dawn something that she put on her face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Recently.

[Christine]

Yeah, go ahead, say it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You make a come joke.

[Christine]

I thought you got throw something the N word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Christine]

But her wrinkles on her forehead she had some little gone really I don't know what what it was but they're gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dr. Gail's come there it was. I had to find itself, Bobby.

[Christine]

I had to let it find itself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't just point and say joke. I have to let it find itself. It has to find itself.

[Christine]

Not only you a producer and a fine. You're an artist is what you are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Christine]

Yeah. I don't know what it was she put.

[Guest or Female Participant]

We'll find out. He's gonna say something like that because.

[Christine]

I've to guys, I'm not talking to you. They're not going to want to know what it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go ahead, tell us. What are the isosomes in it?

[Christine]

It's. She had to put these. It looked like pieces of skin on her face. Gross. You ever see the Laryx that the animation The Larx. Lorax. The Lorax. She looked like the Lorax for a night. It was pretty frightening. Yeah, she looked like that dude for a night and save the trees. I Have to save the trees. But she put it all on her forehead, in her face. Wrinkles gone crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gone.

[Christine]

Save the trees and my wrinkles go away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Christine]

I put Dr. Gale's jizz on my forehead and upper lip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you think the. So listen, whenever something works like this, like a miracle like this.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's always a price to pay.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now what is it? It's cursed. The bottle's cursed. Did you bring welcome evil in your house? So don't have no wrinkles on her. Yeah, well, there's always a catch. Yeah, she has anything that works perfectly. Didn't you see the substance?

[Christine]

Here's a. Here's a catch. But it worked out my favor. She grew a penis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, there we go. That was the catch.

[Christine]

I was like. I was like, no, don't do that, Dawn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're like, no way.

[Christine]

Yummy, yummy in my tummy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What would you rather have? A chick with wrinkles on her forehead or a flat, flush face? Chick with a fat cock?

[Christine]

Yeah. You want a wrinkle faced chick with a regular pussy? What do you want, a unicorn? Think I don't know what it is? I'll find out. Christine, you don't have any wrinkles.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I have some.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Guest or Female Participant]

They're coming.

[Christine]

They're coming.

[Guest or Female Participant]

They're coming for me.

[Christine]

I think you look. Your skin is beautiful.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Thank you.

[Christine]

Yeah. Gorgeous. You look so sexy. Thanks, Bobby Jay, give us a sec. It's so funny. He'd be like, yeah. Let me know when you're done. You. She's got the house now, though. Have you. Has her energy changed?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just what is it?

[Christine]

She's in the. She's got the house. She's in on the will.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I signed paper. Yeah. Yeah. That she could. If I die, Christine will take the house and all of its debt.

[Christine]

What made you want to do that? Like what? What? I thought you had just given her cups.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, the cups.

[Christine]

I forgot she was getting cups through the whole collection.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I'm so madness.

[Christine]

She's getting a Kikiko blanket, I believe. One of one. One Kiko. But now she's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's in a used Kikiko.

[Christine]

She's. She's in now, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. She watches her ass.

[Christine]

So how does that feel?

[Guest or Female Participant]

Pretty nice.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But if I die, like now, it's probably a megadet.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Yeah. I still want him alive. But it is nice.

[Bobby]

How long does he have to live for? Till you're good.

[Guest or Female Participant]

What?

[Bobby]

I'm saying, till all the debt is paid.

[Christine]

Yeah. Don't act like you didn't do the math.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I actually haven't done the math. I don't know.

[Christine]

Oh, you might want to talk to Grock. Maybe Annie will help you out. Hey, Daddy.

[Bobby]

Yeah?

[Christine]

You gotta. Well, yeah. If you pass away now, you're fucked. You'll have to sell it. You're only gonna make a couple grand. A couple hundred grand?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why would that be fucked for her?

[Christine]

Not you, not us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why would that be fucked for her?

[Christine]

Yeah, well, because a couple hundred grand's not gonna last.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She'd pay anything for it.

[Christine]

This. This pocketbook. Hoe would spend that in a year.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, maybe. But either way, it's found money.

[Christine]

I understand, but it's not gonna last her forever.

[Bobby]

She wants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Christine]

Yeah. You want him around for the next.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to assume that Gas, Digital and Skankfest would crumble immediately if you.

[Christine]

Wait, stop. If you left, there'd be a lot more shows that would crumble. Are you crazy, dude? You could do story wars with Brendan Sagalow and Lewis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, everyone's got stories.

[Christine]

Yeah. So he's got to pay. The house would get paid off and then it'd be all yours. So that's good. So when you're at 90.

[Guest or Female Participant]

He's absolutely right. Even if something happens tomorrow and I sell the house and I only get a couple hundred or whatever, it. Whatever's paid on it now, it's still found money.

[Christine]

No, but that's great that he's f. You know what it means, though, that he. That you're.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I'm very happy about. We've been together a long time. Very nice to be thought about. If something does happen to him.

[Christine]

You're his gal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she's the heir to my house.

[Christine]

No, we know what it means.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's an heiress.

[Christine]

She's a pain in my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Heiress.

[Christine]

No.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Come here and just walk around the house in my T.R. all day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You're an heiress now.

[Christine]

You should get an outfit for that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She almost got. She almost fished her wish, by the way. I was working out bench pressing the other day.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I have a bench. It's got the safety stuff on it. But I had them set low. They're set lower than my chest. I didn't really know that I overpaid attention to it. Like when I built where I had it built, I just like left the safety things where they were. And I was going. And I realized, like, just one rep before it was too late, I was like, oh, I'm not gonna make it to what I said I was gonna do. And Then the next rep, my arms just like, died out. And I was like, all right, well, it's fine. I got these safety things. I mean, I think I didn't let it go. I just let it come down. And I was like. At one point, I was squishing my mouth. I was like. I had to roll it down my face, neck, tits, belly, pussy and your crack. Pussy and my crack? My neck, back, pussy and crack.

[Bobby]

The weight had to fall off one side.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope, no, no. I had to ride it down my entire body like wheels.

[Christine]

Did you get thinner? Did it push some fat down into your feet?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably, yeah. Shit. Huge. It really fucking, like, milked myself. It was. I had to roll it down. But it was the idea. I was either, like, scream for Christine while I'm like this, or try to get out of this on your own. I got out of it, but Jesus Christ, it was painful for sure.

[Christine]

Could you imagine walking in, Christine, he just signed the papers and he's got a dumbbell on his. He's got a barbell strangling him on his neck. He'd be like, what? Jay, where are you? I can hear you, but I can't see you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wasn't very heavyweight. It wasn't very heavy weight, but it was like 135 pounds, which is just like. Doesn't matter. But I was done. But I'm saying, that is a lot of weight rolling down your body with all gravity.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I was right in the living room. I don't know why you didn't just.

[Christine]

Go, nobody wants the girl to come in while we're sitting going, yeah, my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Legs kicking up in the air. Shave my life.

[Christine]

I failed. I couldn't do what I tried out to do. You know the barbell's £45, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course.

[Christine]

That's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is?

[Christine]

I mean, barbells used to be like £10. Now they're like, I just got a new barbell. I got kind of like something like yours.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this the first one you got that wasn't for weights. That had sand inside of them. I mean, since I've looked at a dumbbell, they're 45 pounds standard.

[Christine]

I've never had a professional barbell in my life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop calling it professional. It's just a bar, buddy.

[Christine]

All the barbells I've had in my life were like 10 pounds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jimmy Superfly Snuka presents Sand Jack Lalanne There you go.

[Christine]

And I had my Shake 10 pound bars. I had them next to my shake machine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go. That adds up now.

[Christine]

No, but I never, I didn't know it was 45 pounds. So when I put them on, I put weight on. I was. I did the weight myself, but I added 10. And then when I went to do it, it was. It was like way heavier than I thought it was going to be. And then I googled it, it was 45 pounds. I didn't know that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's wild.

[Christine]

Yeah, well, I always usually go to a gym.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude.

[Christine]

I know. I never. I've never had a good gym.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You go to a gym and do machines.

[Christine]

I do dumbbe. I don't really with. I never with a barbell because of my shoulder.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was.

[Christine]

I have a bad shoulder.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My step pops thing was always bench press stuff. So that's what I always do.

[Christine]

But I, I did have the, the plastic with the cement inside when I was young. That was my. Me and Bobby Sacchetti used to whale it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The sand. Right? Sand inside.

[Christine]

We had sand. Or you had dumbbells. Yeah, I mean cement. But it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those sand weights were the funniest thing in the world. And the, and the. And that's by the way, weirdly enough, it was the kind of weight bench that Jason Ellis rode that black cowboy's wenis on. Like a thin backed. Like the posts are close together. Like you with the weights around the posts instead of them being on the outside. Yeah, it was such a weird like. Yeah, but it's funny. You thought it was 10 pounds.

[Christine]

Yeah, I thought it was 10 pounds, but they're 45.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my God. Get this ghoulish woman off the screen. What's the American. That's funny as fuck.

[Bobby]

I told you it looks like. Oh no, that's the fratalia.

[Christine]

That's Axel. He looks like. Yeah, he's way worse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the, what's the American dad scene where they're. Show it. They make. It's when they try to make Steve the Purity one and they keep showing him pictures of things. They just keep going back to Axl Rose and he goes, oh God, who is this horrible looking woman? I'll see if you can find that, please. American dad. Like Steve gets like. It's like Clockwork Orange eyes or something. It's so fucking funny. Oh God. They just keep showing him like sexual diseases and then going back to Axl Rose face. Oh God, stop showing me this terrible woman.

[Christine]

So now can I ask you a question? When you signed over, did you sign over half of. Do you send it all over to her? Like, does it, does it get divvied Up. Just the house. Not the money. Not the millions.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? What millions?

[Christine]

I mean, the thousands.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The thousands.

[Guest or Female Participant]

I get all the furniture, too?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. So you have the house.

[Christine]

What a lesbian thing to say.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isabella gets money. Isabelle gets money.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where'd you leave us, in the house? Yeah, Well, I put everyone's name on the furniture so you guys could all come pick at it while Christine's not there.

[Christine]

It's funny if you did that. If you did something funny in the will to with her. What were you telling me you said about Dawkins?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I said, if I die soon, like I said, Christine takes the house. I go. But Dawkins is not allowed to live here. So you have to get rid of the dog or you have to move out with the dog.

[Guest or Female Participant]

He was telling Dawkins last night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was like, I've signed the paperwork. But you can't.

[Christine]

That would be so funny if you did that. If you put some weird thing in there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dawkins is not allowed to live there without me.

[Christine]

The only way to be able to enjoy it if you die. That sucks. That's a suck part.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's good, though. Good. Grenade. This guy was hilarious. And by the way, fantastic production on that last joke. Fantastic production. His one last kick in the nuts to Christine. Look at that. He went out producing. That guy. Went out producing.

[Christine]

You should put the other thing on his tube zone.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Big J erkerson.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Full of production. Oh, they're gonna say the N word. Jesus, Bobby, it's got to be in the songs.

[Christine]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please. The audio on this is great.

[Christine]

What is this? Can you explain this to me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, so. Pause it. So it's American Dad. They're trying to keep the son from being interested in sex, so they do Like a Clockwork Orange thing where they put him in a. Oh, is that.

[Christine]

Why his eyes is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they have his eyes open. They're showing him stuff. Back it up two seconds. So he starts. This is the aversion therapy thing. So it's like Clockwork Orange. Remember? They.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did the thing gnome. Yeah.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So they're showing him.

[Christine]

He threw up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every time Axl Rose. He just goes, oh. He only reacts to the Axl Rose pictures. Makes me.

[Christine]

Ah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop showing me pictures of that horrendous woman.

[Christine]

That's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Perfect television show.

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like not explaining at all today why we're a bongo show now.

[Christine]

We should have these in here all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, these belong to the show.

[Christine]

Now, if we have guests in here, we make them sit over there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Away.

[Christine]

Yeah, over there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, this microphone's for the bongo.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Apologies, but this is a bongo seat.

[Christine]

I want to name. I want to name them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me, too.

[Christine]

We should come up with names.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. Fred, Jackie.

[Christine]

Fred and Jackie. I wouldn't name them.

[Jacob]

They're like foster children. Not going to see.

[Christine]

I want to name my. Mr. Furley.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We have a new instrument here. Every day.

[Jacob]

Yeah, Everything Okay.

[Christine]

Every day.

[Jacob]

You know, walk past the instrument where you see where you saw these before. And if you see something you like, I'll email for tomorrow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Christine]

Randomly get an instrument.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's my. No, no, here's that. I think Black Lou's table should be out of here. I want Black loose sitting at the full drum kit.

[Christine]

Yeah, that sounds fantastic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But just with his laptop and his phone on the snare, but a full drum kit surrounding him.

[Jacob]

And he's not gonna play them?

[Christine]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I don't know.

[Jacob]

Maybe if he feels it. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If he feels it. Okay, maybe we actually. Maybe we move. I like this. Maybe we move Black Lou up to the table. We throw Jacob behind the skins. Let Jacob talk solely through the skins.

[Christine]

Yeah. Like, what would you do for a break? How would you let us know through the skins?

[Jacob]

You got a condo right in front of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe a low. Maybe like a low roll, and then, like, you know, build a little bit.

[Bobby]

You want me to let you know what about, like, you need to get.

[Christine]

Ready for a break. Don't say it. Play it.

[Jacob]

You're a percussionist.

[Christine]

Don't say it. Play it.

[Jacob]

Percuss.

[Christine]

All right, we're talking. Hey, Jay, man. Yeah. This weekend was wild. That was pretty cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, It's a crazy story.

[Christine]

It is, man. And it was true, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you know what? I think we do have to take a break real quick, so.

[Christine]

Yeah, okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like it. It's going to be less Congo, so I think more, like, I'd like, give us subtle hints, like maybe the beginning of. What's the song With Phil Collins and. And Bailey. Philip Bailey. Easy Lover. If you could come in with the beginning of Easy Lover just as a subtle note.

[Christine]

Can we give him a little reference?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. Now from the beginning. Beginning.

[Christine]

Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God. You can't do the video. The video. As I'm talking over the part I'm talking about. There we go. And I'll go. I guess Bobby will be like this. Is that Jacob? Is that. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. We Gotta take a break.

[Christine]

We gotta take a break. We'll be right back. It's a bonfire. Everybody stay tuned. We get it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Christine]

I like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That flow is good.

[Christine]

I like that. Now, what if we say something we shouldn't have said and he doesn't like it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What does he do?

[Christine]

Like, if he wants us to move on? Oh, like, hey, guys, move on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, let's. The very opening line of bang your head. Mental health, one of our old songs here. We started the show with.

[Christine]

There's a reference for you, Jacob, before you play.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, this is good. This is perfect. This is like. Let us know. Change direction, guys. Okay. Actually, Bobby, we have a lot of stuff we got to get to here on the page.

[Christine]

What's up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, see, so I switched.

[Christine]

What is this right here? Yeah, we do a shot. Yeah, we should get to JLO singing. We can do that. How's that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like it. I like the way we did that. What is JLO singing at home?

[Christine]

I like only through drums. Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I love it. I think he might communicate better through the drums.

[Christine]

That's right. How do you feel about it, Jacob? No, no, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He likes it.

[Christine]

Jacob likes it. He's liking it Only through jumps. Jacob, is it okay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do me a favor, Lou. I want them to set up in the studio tomorrow. The biggest drum set that we have.

[Christine]

Only through drums, Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob will communicate solely through the drums.

[Christine]

Jacob, did you have a good weekend?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's.

[Christine]

Oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, a lot of masturbating.

[Christine]

Any. Were the rats there? Did you see any of the rats?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, they're scarring. Oh, it's frustrating him. He's frustrated with the rats.

[Christine]

But you did work out, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you know it, dude. He gets down with that workout. I feel. I like it with the congas, but I feel like when the guy is able to just give us a couple of fills to let us know how he's feeling, I feel like I'm gonna really understand. Jacob, how do you feel about that? In a way different then I didn't know I was going.

[Christine]

I'm thinking that we just do this forever. We don't ever hear Jacob's voice again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do like the idea that every day they have to come back in here and rebuild a gigantic drum kit. It's gotta be insanely annoying, but I like it.

[Christine]

You laugh through drums, too, Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, he's laughing.

[Christine]

There you go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We made him happy.

[Christine]

We made you happy. You happy? Hey, did you masturbate this weekend? Jay asked you that already, but you didn't Answer. Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How many Fast and Furious?

[Christine]

One time or two?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you see how many comes? I like that question. I don't know why I didn't say how many comes?

[Christine]

How many comes?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Two comes.

[Christine]

How many? How many did you get on your belly? Oh, nah, you put them on your Jacob G. Scroll, didn't you? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yay. Jizz scroll's getting work.

[Christine]

Nice. That's awesome. Well, Jacob, I feel like he never.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did use that jizz scroll.

[Christine]

Did you never use the jizz scroll? Hey, you never used it. Did you think about using it? Oh, yeah. You did, didn't you? Yeah. You wanted to put it on your belly, take all your clothes off, lie in the middle of your little bed. Your little full. In a full bed or a twin, you get a full. And then you don't answer it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like. It's like whacking off with Matthew McConaughey.

[Bobby]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Put it on your belly. Hit that 20 spot right in the middle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think you still keep score. Well, he blasted. I don't know. I've read this 7,000 times on our sheet, and have we not possibly gotten to that? DJ Lou now understands the ways of the woman as you've got your first colonoscopy.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A doctor, your ass.

[Christine]

It says yes.

[Jacob]

And I gotta say, it was glorious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was it good?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had no idea he said that. I mean, you didn't enjoy the feeling for sure, but did you have a good colonoscopy? You said, everything's ship shape.

[Jacob]

Everything's ship shape. They said, I'll see you in five years. Nice butthole. But I couldn't tell you what happened because it was over like that and I felt absolutely nothing.

[Christine]

Have you got one?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't knock you out?

[Jacob]

They did knock me out, but that was over in a second. I didn't even get a good sleep out of it because it's like blinking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How fast did you wake up?

[Jacob]

It was an hour, but it felt like, you know, five seconds.

[Christine]

Have you ever gotten one?

[Bobby]

No.

[Christine]

Okay. And I talked to him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, not with an instrument.

[Christine]

Stop looking at the camera like you're on a sitcom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I winked, Mr. Furley. Oh, come on. No, you know, you're up.

[Christine]

You have. He has the Mr. Roper.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then I give the face.

[Christine]

He has the Mr. Rover when he breaks the fourth wall, when he says something about his stupid wife, and he looks right at the camera. So what happened? The most disappointing part of the colonoscopy is you do not feel them putting stuff in your bum. Oh, you Go in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, how do I finish then?

[Christine]

You don't finish. You have to finish at your house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna be up, I'm gonna be unconscious and just blow load everywhere. When they hit, when they hit the.

[Christine]

Spot, they give you the Michael Jackson juice. Yeah. And as soon as they go, hey, we need you to count bound from 10 or no 100.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They put their dick in your mouth.

[Christine]

And then they put down, but it's like this. All right, cool. And then you wake up. That's how crazy it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You go like this.

[Christine]

You go, cool, 19. And then you go, hey, yeah. And you're just up. And when you wake up from like, anesthesia sucks, you're slut. But Michael Jackson juice, you feel like you like it's the best sleep you ever got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like the doctor was rinsing off the thing. And he goes, you happy, Bobby? Now you're a cunt. Come on.

[Christine]

So it felt when you woke up? I mean, you're sober now, but that was a freebie.

[Jacob]

I didn't really enjoy it, but on the ride home, my brother said I was talking gibberish.

[Christine]

Oh, really?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Christine]

What were you saying?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to kiss him?

[Christine]

I don't try to kiss him.

[Jacob]

I don't know what I was saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I come, do you feel it now?

[Jacob]

We say that sober.

[Bobby]

When you woke up. We're there, bro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You tell we came last night.

[Christine]

It was around 12 o', clock, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Christine]

I was sleeping, but it woke me up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I felt it.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Made me hungry. Me and the lady were watching a Family Feud in bed, so it was a little weird time.

[Christine]

Yeah, it was weird.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Finger my ass. That's for love.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ, Christine. What was the context that was in?

[Christine]

Yeah, what the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What context was that?

[Guest or Female Participant]

It's an edited drop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop.

[Christine]

No, it's not. That's it, right out of your mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, what, do we have artificial intelligence now? Oh, is this the future?

[Christine]

Yeah. What, can he take your voice and make it say whatever he wants?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, Total recall.

[Christine]

Yeah. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought she understood production.

[Christine]

She doesn't. She thinks we're living in the Matrix or the Terminator. What the hell's wrong with you? Next thing you know, you'll be able to take my face and Jay's face and our voice and make you do whatever we want on an app on the iPhone. Yeah, and then call it Sora.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hope people start making aggressive pornography with AI Christine.

[Christine]

That is gonna be interesting if you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could make your Christine getting gang fucked by the bonfire.

[Christine]

Yes, if she gets gang fucked by all the bonfire. That would be wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just Jacob. I mean, everybody wants to see a wild AI sex scene between Jacob and Christine. The world's dying.

[Christine]

I want two things on the background. I want Justin Silver just jerking off in the background, and I want Dawkins just cutely sitting there, like, every once in a while. Woof.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like that. I think everyone agrees with an eagle shirt on. I think we could all agree that Jacob and Christine are the Ross and Rachel of the show.

[Christine]

Yeah, they really are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does it mean. Is it ever going to go down?

[Christine]

I don't know. But if it does, it's going to go down because he's built up. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can see it was two big loads he had this weekend.

[Christine]

Yeah. Right on his stomach.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, could you imagine that? You got to say this, though. If you walked. Walked in. If we were at Skank Fest and you walked back to your hotel room and you saw Jacob just balls deep into Christine, you would. The first thing you do is laugh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I start clapping like Ned Beatty. Dan the Rudy.

[Christine]

God damn it. He did it. I just start crying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go, he told me he was gonna do it one day. Son of a. I didn't believe him. I was like, whatever, dude. You're just mowing her lawn or whatever.

[Christine]

Now would you stop? Would you stop and say sorry or just going. I'll be done in a second, kid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can say you're sorry while he keeps going. Sorry, man. Sorry.

[Bobby]

Hey, Jay, I don't know what to say. If you walk in the door, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go, well, finish, bruh. I'm gonna go downstairs and get us some Snapple Zeros.

[Bobby]

I would feel bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You would? Oh, why would you feel bad?

[Bobby]

Because I would hurt Jay's feelings.

[Christine]

Oh, no, you wouldn't. No, he wouldn't be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. I just have nobody to give my house to.

[Christine]

You can give it to Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll give it to you Jacob. And then, yeah, if you choose to have Christine stay there, one thing that you can keep Christine in the house. No Dawkins, though.

[Christine]

No Dawkins.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Either way, Dawkins is outsky. That dog's taking the hike back to the. That's what's in my thing. Back to the pound for Dawkins. Get this off. This is a stupid episode.

[Christine]

That was a dumb episode. I thought it was going to be, like, stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'd know the one. Christine was out there for Christine too. Wrong on the whole game.

[Christine]

Don't make it right.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Do you want to know what your scores were?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Stupid I won for sure.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Yeah. Collectively got 16 wrong.

[Christine]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who asked for who? I mean, we got wrong.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Well, I just logged it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to. I want to put these famous Amos Crumbs all over you.

[Christine]

Jesus Christ. Why did that annoy me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She.

[Christine]

It was the tone she said it in.

[Bobby]

Nobody.

[Christine]

Collectively, you got 16 wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't like when she fires back.

[Christine]

I don't like it either. I don't like when she looks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just take it.

[Christine]

You have a screen in front of you. I get to see the. I can smell but don't know where it is face.

[Guest or Female Participant]

Bobby got one right.

[Christine]

All right, well, see how she says it. I wasn't supposed to get any, right?

[Guest or Female Participant]

Jay got 11.

[Christine]

All right with that, too. Did you get 11? Yeah, but I would have got the daily double if it was a different question.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, I could have done better if they were different questions. For sure. I agree with that.

[Christine]

They wound up on the la, and they do that a lot on Jeopardy. They wind up on the shittiest one that nobody gets on the last one, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, that sucks because. Well, no one even said what the that was. Yeah, the Lube and Schlab or whatever the. That. What was the goddamn.

[Christine]

It's a Dutch band.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not a Dutch band. And there's no rhyme or reason to the questions.

[Christine]

Actually, it's a genre of music from Belgium.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop.

[Christine]

Okay, I'm gonna stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right.

[Christine]

Then Christine's looked at me like. I'm serious. She went, what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not true, Bobby.

[Christine]

Yeah, Christine, is it true?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those aren't facts.

[Christine]

It might be true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe.

[Christine]

Maybe it will be true. You don't know that. You want to take me to. You want to take me to court, so sue me. Do you?

[Bobby]

Oh.

[Christine]

Oh, we gotta go. We gotta go. Oh, hey, are we coming back tomorrow?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. Today's Tuesday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every week.

[Christine]

Yeah, tomorrow's Wednesday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every week we're here on a Wednesday.

[Christine]

This was a fun show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a fun show. Bobby's gonna be at side splitters now. He's got the N word game you can play. Put in your own songs. Wherever they go, wherever they belong.

[Christine]

Yeah. Just make sure you say the N word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to be screaming that. Yes, yeah, yes, yes, yes.

[Guest or Female Participant]

But not V. You need the syllables, right? So just N word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Don't say the N word or else the syllables do not line up. She's wrong. You can't argue. She's. She's right. She's right. She's absolutely right.

[Christine]

She's right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Christine]

But I meant to say the N word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, but don't though.

[Christine]

No, I'm not gonna. We'll see. Just don't even give my dates.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I'll be passing you this weekend, Friday and Saturday and Bobby's gonna be in side splitters this weekend.

[Christine]

Yeah, come see us man. Go to our websites bigjaycomedy.com and go to his website for another thing. You ready for his dates? And he has pre order available right now. They them is available. It's gonna be available on vinyl. It is a beautiful album and it comes with a very special surprise inside sign penis guy signed By Big J. BigJayComedy.com Go there, check it out. Buy that. Come see us live. And if you come see us live, come up at the end of the show and we'll play the that game together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey baby.

[Christine]

You get to remember for everything what.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Happened to her, Paul Abdul. She shrunk down to nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

Foreign.

[Christine]

Hey, what's going on? I'm Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I'm Big J Okerson. Do you want to listen to episodes of the Bonfire ad free and a whole week early?

[Christine]

Well, the Bonfire is a member of Sirius XM's Podcast Plus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you get a SiriusXM Podcast plus subscription, it opens you up to all kinds of benefits on so many SiriusXM shows and podcasts. Yeah.

[Christine]

So what are you waiting for?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Subscribe to SiriusXM podcast Plus right now or visit siriusxm. Com Podcastplus right now.