The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Rockstar Turkey Necks
Date: October 29, 2025
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson, Robert Kelly
Channel: SiriusXM Faction Talk

EPISODE OVERVIEW

In their signature loose and irreverent style, Big Jay and Bobby, alongside regulars Christine and Jacob, take listeners on a comedic deep dive into the perils of aging rock stars, turkey necks, questionable gym habits, estate planning, and the ongoing evolution of the show’s studio. The laughs are punctuated by brutally honest observations about life, relationships, and the unglamorous realities of getting older—especially for those who were once beautiful, leather-clad gods of the stage. The crew’s playfulness, self-deprecation, and chemistry as they riff on everything from colonoscopies to AI-generated porn make for an episode equal parts roast, therapy, and inside comedy hang.

KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & SEGMENTS

1. Aging Rock Stars Get Roasted: Sebastian Bach vs. Axl Rose

[01:07 – 07:34]

• The gang opens with a tongue-in-cheek lament about the physical decline of beloved ‘80s rockers.
• Big Jay wonders: "Why is he such a face of a guy?" about a rock vocalist, and the group launches into a merciless comparison of Sebastian Bach and Axl Rose’s “fall from grace,” focusing on body shape, teeth, and “turkey neck.”
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Axl Rose has aged like an open orange.” (Bobby, [02:13])
  • “His hair is fricasseed and up!...Now he looks like the commish with a wig on.” (Big Jay, [03:29])
  • “He looks like the night nurse at a hospital.” (Christine, [05:21])
• Christine suggests aging rock stars should “wear bandanas or scarves around their chicken necks.”
• The crew agree facial hair, hats, and sunglasses are now crucial for these icons.

2. Insecurities, Turkey Necks, and Personal Maintenance

[07:34 – 12:33]

• The conversation turns introspective as hosts poke fun at their own appearance anxieties.
• Bobby confesses to moisturizing and sunscreening his neck out of terror at developing “turkey neck.”
• Christine admits losing weight led to some under-chin sag, and Jay shares his strategic use of shirt collars and beards to hide the neck.
• Quote:
  • “I live my life, Bobby, overthinking and concerned...trying to keep the collars of my shirts as up high on my neck as humanly possible.” (Big Jay, [07:34])
• Christine shares anecdotes about celebrities like Corey Feldman and Ellen having their “neckage” betray their age, and jokes about cosmetic surgery and bizarre skin treatments.

3. Wills, Estate Planning, and Relationship Jokes

[13:42 – 17:27]

• Jay reveals he’s signed paperwork to leave his house (and its debt) to Christine in the event of his passing.
• The group riff on the practical and comedic aspects of estate planning (“cups,” “Kikiko blankets,” “even the dog”).
• Bobby wonders how long Christine would need Jay to live for it to be a financial win.
• Quote:
  • “She’s the heir to my house...She’s an heiress.” (Big Jay, [16:07])

4. Gym Fails & Barbell Mishaps

[16:25 – 20:33]

• Jay details a near-miss in his home gym, describing a time he nearly got trapped under a barbell (and had to roll it down his body).
• Christine and Bobby discuss the surprising weight of a standard barbell vs. cheaply-filled “sand weights” of their youth.
• Quote:
  • “I had to roll it down my face, neck, tits, belly, pussy and crack.” (Big Jay, [17:14])

5. Studio Upgrades: Conga Drums, Drum Kits, and Non-Verbal Communication

[26:26 – 32:23]

• The hosts introduce bongos to the studio as a new bit, planning to have producer Jacob communicate exclusively through drum fills.
• The gang brainstorms drum cue signals for segment changes, laughs, and show transitions, riffing on “Easy Lover” and “Bang Your Head.”
• Christine: “Don’t say it. Play it.” ([28:05])
• The bit enjoys wide acceptance and quickly becomes the episode’s meta-narrative running joke.

6. Colonoscopy Stories & Men’s Health

[32:49 – 35:32]

• DJ Lou shares his first colonoscopy experience, which was “glorious”—mainly in how quick and painless it was ("over like that...felt absolutely nothing”).
• Bobby and Jay riff on sedation, the delirium after waking up, and the letdown that there’s “no pleasure in the procedure.”
• The segment veers into absurdity with jokes about finishing during anesthesia.
• Quote:
  • “I’m gonna be unconscious and just blow a load everywhere when they hit the spot.” (Big Jay, [34:34])

7. AI Porn Jokes & The Bonfire Love Triangle

[36:11 – 37:27]

• The hosts riff on the potential for fan-made AI porn featuring themselves and Christine.
• Jay: “I hope people start making aggressive pornography with AI Christine.” ([36:31])
• They discuss who’s the show’s “Ross and Rachel” (Jacob and Christine are elected) and muse on if/when this will “ever go down.”
• Christine paints a scenario of walking in on Jacob and herself, leading Jay to say: “I’d start clapping like Ned Beatty at the end of Rudy.” ([37:40])

8. Game Night, Jeopardy-Style

[38:50 – 40:20]

• Christine and a guest address a game played earlier in the episode, recapping embarrassing miss rates and how some rounds went awry.
• Jay’s confidence remains undimmed:
  • “I could have done better if they were different questions.” ([39:53])

9. The “N Word” Song Game & Inside Jokes

[41:04 – 41:32]

• The group riffs on an inside joke-song game involving the “N word” and the requisite syllables for proper timing.
• “Yeah, just make sure you say the N word...You want to be screaming that.” (Christine, [41:04])—delivered in the show's typical irreverent, boundary-pushing style.

10. Closing Banter: Comedy Dates & Callbacks

[41:36 – End]

• The crew plugs their live dates and Jay’s new vinyl album, “They/Them.”
• Moments of classic Bonfire warmth and subversion as they tease future shows and recap the episode’s highlights.

NOTABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS WITH TIMESTAMPS

• Rock Star Roasts

  • Big Jay: “I think I could beat the shit out of Sebastian Bach.” [01:41]
  • Christine: “Axel Rose has aged like an open orange.” ([02:13])
  • Big Jay: “He looks like Cagney and Lacey.” [03:41]

• On Aging & Necks

  • Bobby: “I’m terrified of turkey neck.” [09:40]

• Estate Planning Absurdity

  • Big Jay: “She’s the heir to my house...She’s an heiress.” [16:07]

• Gym Mishaps

  • Big Jay: “I had to roll it down my face, neck, tits, belly, pussy and crack.” [17:14]

• Drums as Communication

  • Christine: “Don’t say it. Play it.” [28:05]

• On AI & Future Tech

  • Christine: “What, can he take your voice and make it say whatever he wants?” [36:11]
  • Big Jay: “I hope people start making aggressive pornography with AI Christine.” [36:31]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:07] – Rock star aging roast begins
• [07:34] – “Turkey neck” anxieties and cosmetic fixes
• [13:42] – Jay’s estate planning and relationship jokes
• [16:25] – Home gym/barbell mishap story
• [26:26] – The bongo/drum kit communication segment
• [32:49] – Colonoscopy stories and men’s health
• [36:11] – AI technology and Bonfire "fan fiction"
• [38:50] – Jeopardy-style game and stats recap
• [41:04] – "N word" song game banter
• [41:36] – Upcoming tour dates and album promo

SUMMARY

This episode of The Bonfire delivers what fans expect: riotous banter, savage roasts (aimed at both celebrities and themselves), genuine friendship, and a relentless willingness to find the joke in the dark and awkward corners of adulthood. The hosts revel in picking apart the indignities of aging (especially for former sex symbols), worry—then joke—about their own physical decline, and experiment with new, delightfully absurd bits (hello, Drum-Only Jacob). Running gags, callbacks to Bonfire lore, and hard-hitting punchlines make this an essential listen for fans of unfiltered comedy and behind-the-curtain glimpses of the stand-up world.

It’s a refreshingly honest and consistently hilarious meditation on mortality, comedy, music, and the camaraderie that makes suffering a little more bearable—especially if you’re willing to laugh at yourself.