Sit-n-Spin with Mike Finoia

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: Sit-n-Spin with Mike Finoia
Date: June 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this riotous episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly welcome Mike Finoia, comedian and new SiriusXM host, for a wild, freewheeling conversation full of childhood nostalgia, comic misadventures, music debates, and plenty of signature Bonfire raunch. With their unfiltered chemistry, the trio riff on everything from dangerous childhood toys and pranks, to entry-level jobs and workplace crime, to the sometimes odd paths people take through life and the comedy world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Physical Transformations and On-Air Chemistry

The episode opens with playful banter between Jay and Bobby about changes in Jay’s appearance—typical of their mutual roast-style affection.

• Jay's Changing Looks: Bobby compliments Jay's “amazing blue eyes” and chiseled jawline as Jay jokingly protests.
  • Quote: “Look at me, look at me, look at me. You got these big, big beautiful eyes...they’re crying and fucking you at the same time.” – Robert Kelly [01:35]
• Happy Pride Month: The banter leans into Pride Month, with the hosts both jokingly and genuinely appreciating each other.
  • Quote: “Happy Gay Pride Month, everybody. You're a gorgeous man also.” – Jay Oakerson [02:18]

2. Sit-n-Spin, Dangerous Toys, and 80s/90s Childhoods

The group reminisces about absurdly dangerous children’s toys from their youth.

• Sit-n-Spin & Pranks: Recalling Sal’s injury on Impractical Jokers, doing sit-n-spin, breaking his foot and the slapstick hilarity of it.
  • Quote: “He falls backwards first, which is funny. And then they just push him forward...smashes into his shoe...I’ve never laughed harder at anything on the show.” – Jay Oakerson [09:09]
• Gas-Powered Pogo Stick: Discussing a real, recalled toy that, predictably, caused injuries.
  • “They made one version with a gas-powered piston. And it would shoot. They had to take it off the mark because people were just getting hurt.” – Big Jay Oakerson [07:13]
• Lawn Darts & Other Old School Games:
  • Discussion about how being careless or drunk made these toys especially dangerous, with Bobby painting vivid scenes of barbecue mishaps.

3. Comedy World & Grateful Dead Connections

Mike Finoia talks about his show on the SiriusXM Grateful Dead channel and the guys riff on campfire and jam band culture, poking fun at Phish and the Dead.

• Camping and the Grateful Dead:
  • Bobby shares he finally listened to Phish’s “Sample in a Jar” during a camping trip and admits, “It's good in the woods. Nothing around.” [19:36]
  • Jay explains why Grateful Dead jams don’t excite him much: “If it’s this pace and this kind of thing for 17 minutes, it’s not that interesting.” [21:01]
• Imagining a ‘Gay Throuple Camping Trip’:
  • The guys joke about going primitive camping together, bringing a guitar, and possibly committing to group nudity in a tent, always skirting the edge of absurdity and (mostly) good taste.

4. Color Wars, Jewish Summer Camps & Cultural References

Jay and Mike discuss the ‘color wars’ games at camp, the Jewish summer camp experience, and riff on their comic peers’ body hair, adding a typically edgy, inside-comedy flavor.

• Jewish Identity and Comedy:
  • Jay notes “1950 to like last year being Jewish was all right...The Poconos in Hollywood, Catskills, entertainment, everything you love. Banks. Media. Jackie Mason...” [16:47]

5. “Hawk Too – Spit on That Thing,” OnlyFans, and Viral Scams

The conversation veers into adult-content territory as the crew discusses viral characters, internet scams, and the career arc that ends on OnlyFans.

• Memes, Scams & Going Adult:
  • “I'm sure it was a countdown to OnlyFans... To avoid doing OnlyFans earlier, she had to almost go to prison on another scam.” – Jay Oakerson [05:49]
  • Ongoing jokes about “spitting on that thing,” OnlyFans, and adult content con artistry, mixed with real discussions of internet celebrity and platform grifts.

6. Childhood Pranks, Crime, and Petty Felonies

From ring-and-run to stealing snacks, the hosts swap tales of mischievous or outright criminal acts from their youth and early jobs.

• Ring-and-Run (Ding Dong Ditch):
  • Bobby’s kids keep the tradition alive (“He ran from the cops...learned how to run.” [30:37]), while Jay admits he never had the speed for it (“Running wasn’t, could never be my first option...” [36:43]).
• Petty Youth Crimes:
  • Shoplifting Swanson dinners, “stealing” jobs, and job-site scams (e.g., 7-Eleven, record stores, car washes, deli subs).
  • Quote: “My crime was not like, I just...let everyone I know commit crimes in there...Hey, girl, that's kind of pretty...what's your brand of cigarettes? Take the carton. Who gives a...” – Jay Oakerson [43:26]

7. Job Hopping, Getting Fired, and Delusional Teen Labor

The conversation rounds out with a survey of jobs, from assembling styrofoam balls to quitting jobs by just not coming back. There’s a running theme: comedians are rarely model employees—but they have stories for days.

• Being Fired (or Avoiding It):
  • “A lot of my jobs, I just never went back. And then one day they'd call, and I think they liked me so much, they'd be like, hey, are you ever coming back? And I go, no.” – Jay Oakerson [48:21]
  • “I've never been fired. I've always left on good. I worked at a styrofoam factory making...balls for ornaments.” – Big Jay Oakerson [53:02]
• Odd Coworkers:
  • Repeated riffs on working with mentally handicapped people and juvenile delinquents at various low-wage jobs, with the group mock-pondering if Bobby was ever an ‘actual’ camp delinquent or just one of the gang.

8. Comedy Club Drama & Internal Politics

Christine (show producer/partner) joins in a revealing sidebar on being fired and rehired in the NYC club scene, including at the Stand and other staple clubs. They discuss the conflicts between talent, managers, and ownership—a bit of true inside baseball for comedy fans.

• Comic ‘Firings’ & Inside Stories:
  • “With the exception of maybe Skankfest... I started my own company.” – Female Guest/Christine [60:59]
  • Jay and Bobby discuss dealing with dumb or dysfunctional club owners, real managerial friction, and shifting alliances behind the scenes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You got blue...amazing blue eyes that they're crying and fucking you at the same time.” – Robert Kelly [01:35]

• “I love watching people dizzy fall, though. It makes me happy.” – Jay Oakerson [12:23]

• “They made one version [of the pogo stick] with a gas-powered piston. Had to take it off the mark because people were just getting hurt.” – Big Jay Oakerson [07:13]

• “If she was a rich girl with, you know, going through that...she would have fucking been gargling that guy's balls. Instead, she sucks it like she's trying food that she doesn’t like for the first time.” – Jay Oakerson on Paris Hilton [28:29]

• “I've never been fired from a job.” / “I just never went back.” – Big Jay Oakerson / Jay Oakerson [51:57, 48:21]

• “That's a retarded day.” – Jay Oakerson (on Bobby’s day between two classes and working in a styrofoam factory) [55:39]

• “They sent you to Purgatory.” (on being reassigned to the Stand’s offshoot club) – Big Jay Oakerson [60:40]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Physical Compliments & Pride Month Jokes: [01:03–02:18]
• Sit-n-Spin/Childhood Toys/Impractical Jokers: [08:39–09:18]
• Phish & Grateful Dead, Camping Discussion: [19:13–21:10]
• Ring-and-Run, Youth Crimes & Pranks: [30:13–37:12]
• Job Stories & Getting Fired: [41:37–55:59]
• Comedy Club Politics (Christine's story): [56:36–61:13]
• Closing/Upcoming Gigs: [65:10–66:22]

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Final Thoughts

True to form, this episode of The Bonfire is a high-energy collection of comic storytelling, mutual roasting, and unsparing confessions about adolescence, adulthood, and the odd jobs and experiences that feed a comedian’s worldview. Longtime fans will love the spontaneous riffing, references to shared comic lore, and the deft (and often blue) way Jay, Bobby, and Mike bounce off each other—a hang that feels like a classic summer night with friends.

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Listen for:

• Deep dives into 80s/90s nostalgia and comedy scene history.
• Unvarnished (sometimes NSFW) tales of failure, firing, and success.
• The show's signature blend of affection, mockery, and storytelling truth.

Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Mike Finoya]

And now the bonfire with Big J

[Jay Oakerson]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's weird to look across from you, to look across and see you because you're changing so much physically.

[Jay Oakerson]

You mean my sty?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no. I didn't even notice the style, but now I can't stop looking at it. But you're becoming a very attractive man, Jay. Not that you weren't before you were Big J, but now you becoming like, I don't know, really good looking.

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Dude, you got these, these big.

[Jay Oakerson]

I hate this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got. Look at me, look at me, look at me. You got these big, big beautiful eyes. Is it blue, right? Yeah, you got blue, I mean, amazing blue eyes that they're crying and fucking you at the same time.

[Jay Oakerson]

Happy Pride month.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then, and then your. Your jawline is so defined now. You know, you got this, this. Your head is thin. Your. Your body's thinning out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thin head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, but it's.

[Female Guest]

It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I look over at you and I kind of get distracted.

[Jay Oakerson]

You've always been gorgeous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now you know how I'm living.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm just saying, dude, I look up at you. I just looked up at you and I got distracted by your beauty.

[Jay Oakerson]

Stop it.

[Female Guest]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Happy Gay Pride Month.

[Jay Oakerson]

Happy Gay Pride Month, everybody. You're a gorgeous man also. That is the great Robert Kelly. This is the Bonfire faction talk, Sirius XM1 03. We are sit with newest SiriusXM family member here over the Grateful Dead channel.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Another Saturday night.

[Mike Finoya]

One Saturday night Shakedown.

[Jay Oakerson]

Saturday night Shakedown.

[Mike Finoya]

Yep.

[Jay Oakerson]

Changed a bunch.

[Mike Finoya]

It was supposed to be one more Saturday night, but Bill Walton had a show called that 40 years ago.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's good.

[Mike Finoya]

We don't want to use that.

[Jay Oakerson]

He hasn't played basketball for 51 years.

[Mike Finoya]

He's also no longer with us.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's right. He died. Oh, way to bring that up.

[Announcer]

Teasing.

[Jay Oakerson]

The Saturday night Shakedown. You can listen to it every Saturday, 8 to 9pm on SiriusXM on the Grateful Dead channel. It is America's amigo, Poncho. Mike. Mike Finoya.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I. I almost wore that shirt today.

[Mike Finoya]

You know, when I put it on, I was like, bobby might wear this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I swear to God. I took it out.

[Jay Oakerson]

You guys bought them together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I went to that shirt, and then I went to my other Liza Colby shirt, and then I just went black T shirt. And I'm glad I didn't.

[Jay Oakerson]

Last one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Liza Kolbe. She's a New York performer. Very great, amazing, sexy black girl, lead singer, does just rock and roll. And she's amazing. She's a friend of mine.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's a friend of yours?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Friend of mine. Okay. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

All that things you said. I'm like, where did you find her? She plays rock and roll, sings.

[Mike Finoya]

How does this end up with you

[Jay Oakerson]

having her guitar person? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I did Sex Drug and Rock and Roll, one of the actresses was the Elizabeth. She sang all her songs. She sang the song. They wrote all the songs for her and she sang her songs. One of the other actresses was supposed to come in and sing. Larry sang all his stuff and she was supposed to come in. Then they went into the studio and she. She couldn't. She couldn't sing that good.

[Announcer]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So they had to bring Liza Kobe in and she sang all the songs.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, that's not her. That's not the song I'm talking about. No, that's not. That's not her.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she does all that jazz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not her.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's not her jazz. That is rock and roll. That's rocking and rolling.

[Mike Finoya]

My baby takes the morning train.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's typing Liza Colby rock and roll. Oh, I typed in Liza Minnelli. No, I have that. I have that shirt, too.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was. I went. That was my fourth pick.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but it's not a T shirt. It's Liza Minnelli's shirt he bought at.

[Mike Finoya]

It's a really big softball shirt that Bobby wears to sleep.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's a. It's a blousy number.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It actually is a blouse.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, the Liza Colby sound.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can I tell you something? It takes as a compliment? She looks identical to the. What was the Hawk to a chip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, she looks like the hawk to a chick.

[Jay Oakerson]

She looks like hawk to a chick.

[Mike Finoya]

She does spit on that thing.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you got a hawk to a spit on that thing.

[Mike Finoya]

Where's that idiot now?

[Jay Oakerson]

What do you do? Dude, she's sitting atop a mountain of bitcoin. She once went to prison.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she. She had her own coin. She came up with her own coin.

[Jay Oakerson]

She didn't come up with anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Scam. This company came up, get one coin. All these people bought it, but it was all.

[Jay Oakerson]

And she was just like, I don't know. You try spitting on it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hot poo.

[Mike Finoya]

Spit on the coin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it was all, this ain't worth

[Mike Finoya]

nothing till I spit on that thing.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sure, it ain't worth nothing now. Well, hang on. You got hot poo. Wait on that thing.

[Mike Finoya]

Send me all your pennies. I'll be spitting on them. I think she's probably doing only fans now, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope, nope. She's down in Florida. Beck's huck to him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes, she is promoting her adult. Finally. We knew the day would come if we could go back in time and hawk to a girl became a thing. I'm sure it was. This wasn't a crazy guess that a lot of people made, but I did. I did say it's countdown to only fans. And she lasted way longer than I thought because that she had to. But she had to almost. In order to avoid doing onlyfans earlier, she had to almost go to prison on another scam. They're like. She was like, I'm going to be the one dumb, mean person who figures it out with business. And then the business falls to pieces. She almost goes to prison, and she's like, never mind. I'll show my pussy.

[Female Guest]

Ha.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pills. Spit on that thing.

[Mike Finoya]

Do you know before she hopped to a spit on that thing, she had a job at a spring factory? That's a job on the Simpsons. Like, that's not a real job at a spring.

[Jay Oakerson]

I work at the seesaw store.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it springs for, like, pen springs?

[Mike Finoya]

Spring.

[Jay Oakerson]

All kinds of springs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All kinds of springs.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think they have different factories for little tiny springs and big springs.

[Mike Finoya]

I think it's different floors. I think you start on pen springs and you work your way up to, like, the horse. The heat.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. The thing in the park we go

[Mike Finoya]

on outside of old grocery stores.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was the thing you used to jump on that?

[Female Guest]

You.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The pogo stick?

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah, Pogo stick.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pogo stick.

[Mike Finoya]

That's like. You got to be decades.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember when they made they Made one version of that. Gas powered. They put a piston in it.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Mike Finoya]

Did they really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they made what the fuck?

[Jay Oakerson]

Send you into the fucking sky?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude, they made one version of it with a gas powered piston.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's called a jackhammer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And it would shoot. They had to take it off the mark because people were just getting hurt.

[Mike Finoya]

Of course

[Big Jay Oakerson]

they just made a toy because it was like, oh, this would be great, right? People didn't sue back then, of course. The kid just lost his teeth and his nose and he just went, ah, what are you going to do?

[Mike Finoya]

Be more careful next time.

[Jay Oakerson]

I never played lawn darts, but I've seen plenty of videos of lawn darts and they over talk about that. Can you believe this was a thing? I think lawn darts is still a fine game. What would be the problem?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lawn darts, they come right in your face.

[Jay Oakerson]

What kind of a dumb person would you have to be to get hit by the lawn dart?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, the problem is that people played that at a barbecue when they were fucking 17 beers in, right? And then they would just throw it in the air and there'd be some lady just having a margarita anyways. That funko just sink into her head.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, you know what? Sorry, you're right.

[Mike Finoya]

You got like an Aunt Donna kebab.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. It's got the blood running down like the butler in. In the Shining. Lovely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's still telling her story, but just the same sentence over and over.

[Jay Oakerson]

But her eyes pointed in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. So I went to the party. So I went to the party.

[Jay Oakerson]

So I went to the party.

[Mike Finoya]

Stand still, Don.

[Jay Oakerson]

She goes, can you believe Stephanie was wearing the same dress as me? Does my eye look weird?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, lawn dots are dangerous, you know,

[Mike Finoya]

it was super dangerous. But I loved sit and spin. Do you remember sit and spin?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love sit and spin.

[Mike Finoya]

Did you have sit and spin?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's still the. It's the funniest thing to me. And he took an injury for it.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, Sal.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's the funniest thing to me ever. On Impractical Jokers In a sea of hilarious things, when Sal does the sit and spin and has to deliver food and he immediately comes out of his shoe and breaks his foot. He broke his foot. It was like a problem on a sit and spin. No, no, no. They keep making him do things and going out and serving food and the last one was a sit and spin. He got dizzy when he get. You're getting. He falls backwards first, which is funny. And then they just push him forward and give him a tray and he just goes out and smashes into his shoe. Comes off. It's so violent. But I've never laughed hard or anything on the show. It's so funny.

[Mike Finoya]

And he just, like, crumbled down the wall in real pain.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like, fucked his foot up. Had to go to the hospital.

[Mike Finoya]

But, dude, a sit and spin was just like you sat in the driveway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

And spun yourself till you were tripping balls. And then you just got off and ran right into a station wagon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe that's how you started liking the dead.

[Mike Finoya]

Perhaps that's why I have, like, Division 3 CTE from fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was the other one? I had a. The Big Wheel was a dangerous thing, too, because you couldn't see the cars, couldn't see you.

[Mike Finoya]

Your head was bumper level.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should be fine going down a hill.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, this is a real shortcut conversation. Hey, guys. Christine, get to that sitting spin, please, real quick. Couldn't see over the wheel. What the is happening in this room? Hey, DJ Lou, remember seeing over your Big Wheels wheel just fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The bumper. The bumper car.

[Jay Oakerson]

My head was above that bumper.

[Mike Finoya]

Here it goes. Here he goes.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, this is not. This is the. Yeah, this is it. No, it's not. This is. He falls. It's the sit and spins next. That was the chair.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, right, right.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, go ahead. Turn it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa, guys.

[Jay Oakerson]

There you go.

[Announcer]

Whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's an electric spin.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it's like weight. Body weight powered.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is it?

[Jay Oakerson]

He smashes into a wall.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His fucking shoe off.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yep. It's. I mean, they shouldn't have done this. God damn it. Makes me laugh so hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Broke his foot o. Oh, right there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, it's a bad accident when a shoe comes off. Yeah. When your shoes, like, I'm out.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's a body cam thing, too. When you see, like, an accident where somebody was hit on a motorcycle or something, and you see, like, oh, there's a shoe. Now we're about a hundred yards into the woods looking for his body. Like, God damn. Getting knocked out of your shoes is crazy. Even if you have on loose shoes.

[Mike Finoya]

One summer in, like, my early 20s, I worked as, like, a counsel, like a summer camp counselor thing or whatever.

[Jay Oakerson]

You killed a kid with your car and flew out of his shoes, buried

[Mike Finoya]

him, kept the shoes up on the line for the end of the thing, you know, like, we had, like, that end of the year, like, you know, like that day where you go outside Field day. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Color Wars.

[Mike Finoya]

You had to do Bobby.

[Jay Oakerson]

You were older than us. It wasn't called Color Wars.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was. I was at A Jewish camp.

[Jay Oakerson]

Crazy. Jesus Christ. Color wars. What happened?

[Mike Finoya]

The Irish first the blacks.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the Irish first the blacks. This is a school event.

[Mike Finoya]

Like all Italian kids.

[Jay Oakerson]

Boston's crazy.

[Mike Finoya]

So they go. At the end, they go, oh, the counselors versus. It turned into, like, meatballs. It was like the counselors versus the kids and a dizzy bat race. And I was insanely hungover, and I had to do a dizzy bat race against a kid. And I was spinning. You put the bat on your head and you spin, and then you have to run. And I took two steps and then just went sideways into, like, just a group of other people and puked all over myself. And I hate that dizzy stuff. I. I'm not good at any dizzy.

[Jay Oakerson]

I love watching people dizzy fall, though. It makes me happy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hate dizzy stuff. Like dizzy rides. I don't like that.

[Mike Finoya]

I don't like it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fest last year.

[Jay Oakerson]

I love it. I love it. I love that you have to get over it for a second. I like that. It's like. Then you get used to it, and it's just fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I went at a place called Canobie Lake. Still there, but it sucks. But when I was a kid, they would take us every. The school would go every year. And I went. And I went on the Turkish twist. It's when you. You just sit down and then it spins and the floor drops and you just stuck to the wall.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then they kill all of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, is that the Gravitron?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's like that. They called it the Turkish twist of the floor drops and you just stuck to the wall. And then one of the kids puked

[Jay Oakerson]

and it just goes, hey, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. They haven't worked out quite exactly the. Everybody science on that Gravitron working because I stuck to the wall. All right, but not where I was at first. So I start sliding down, and the wall is holding onto my pants and ramming it up my ass crack while I'm like, fucking being shoved. I mean, it's. It's so. I never, like, stayed up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think they do a general physics.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

For this. How this much.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, see, friends of mine are, like, up upside down like Spider man because they're stuck to the wall. Light as air. And it's like, I'm like, going down with the seat. I'm like, I'm going down. Going down with the floor.

[Mike Finoya]

This isn't working for me.

[Announcer]

It's not working.

[Jay Oakerson]

Gravity's not working in this chair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is there another gear turn?

[Mike Finoya]

This thing up to 10, and there's always one kid that would just spit a loogie into, like, the middle, and then it would just fly back at some point every. Every North Haven fair.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's the problem when you grew up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just chunks were flapping in people's faces.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but the spitt. That's a fucking. That's the problem with growing up in a privileged white area, a very white area, I think, is where you get asshole behavior like that. Now there would be fights and stuff in my blackish neighborhood.

[Mike Finoya]

Color wars.

[Jay Oakerson]

Color Wars. But now it was never, like, black versus white. It's a weird thing, actually. It was. Everyone was so integrated that it was groups of friends. It really was never like there was groups of friends that were, like, all white or. I don't know if there was, but, like, I had definitely all black.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had Color Wars. You had colored.

[Jay Oakerson]

Colored wars. Yeah, but everyone was all mismatched. It was like. It was like Death Wish movies.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah. What were Color Wars? Was it like you had a red flag?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was a counselor at a Jewish camp for a summer. I was a lifeguard. And at the end, they would have color wars where they all competed against each other.

[Mike Finoya]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, John Fish was one of the kids, and.

[Mike Finoya]

You're kidding me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He's one of my. He was one. I was his counselor.

[Jay Oakerson]

Damn. Have you seen his chest hair? You should feel really old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you seen Lenny Marcus's ch. Body hair?

[Jay Oakerson]

Never in my life.

[Female Guest]

It is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I. When I did Aspen, he was in the room next to me, and I opened the door. I literally went, ha. When he opened the door, shirtless, he has shoulder hair. It looks like that. He's covered from the neck. Yeah, dude, you can't see skin on his shoulders.

[Mike Finoya]

Give me a keg of beer. And these.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you think that's why Leslie loves him?

[Mike Finoya]

He's got Steve Martin body hair.

[Jay Oakerson]

She just pets him. Just pets him like a pet.

[Mike Finoya]

Give me my little Jewish.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come here. Get over here, Jew.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Write me a joke that's edgy.

[Mike Finoya]

I'm gonna pet that.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't even bother talking about this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nah, I wanted a sucking dick joke out your mouth.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you make a joke, Lenny, about how these black dudes don't beat that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, well, I don't really work

[Mike Finoya]

well under these circumstances.

[Jay Oakerson]

If you need one, go yourself, you little. What the Is a.

[Mike Finoya]

Another subway token joke?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those two Jews got that joke, but because I went to Jewish summer camp, I got it too.

[Mike Finoya]

I'd like to be Jewish if I can go back and do it again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not now.

[Mike Finoya]

I'd go back and be Jewish.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Even know what you'd be facing now?

[Mike Finoya]

I don't care about all. I mean you're Jewish and you don't care about all that.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't. There is a sweet spot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he dresses so non Jewish.

[Jay Oakerson]

There is a sweet spot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He has a. That's his disguise.

[Mike Finoya]

I know there's a sweet spot.

[Jay Oakerson]

But between like 1950 and like last year that was pretty cool to be

[Mike Finoya]

Jewish between Woody Allen and. And Trump.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was the sweet spot.

[Mike Finoya]

19.

[Jay Oakerson]

1950 to like last year being Jewish was all right. 1950.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Poconos in Hollywood.

[Jay Oakerson]

Catskills. Entertainment. Everything you love. Banks Media.

[Mike Finoya]

Jackie Mason.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jackie Mason. Crownhog Day too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jewelry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Caddyshack too. That wouldn't have happened without every.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every rock star is Jewish.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes. Every kiss.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every rock star is. Is Alice Cooper.

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Mike Finoya]

Is it. Or his guy. The mensch. The super mensch. His guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Female Guest]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

David Lee Roth.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Of course.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

100 didn't even know it. So cool. Didn't even put the Roth together at the end.

[Jay Oakerson]

George Michael Burr.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jewish Limerick MC Search that was his order at the diner.

[Jay Oakerson]

James Morrisonstein have you seen David?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

David Lee Ross is finished.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, dude. The video.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lately I didn't see the video Buddies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's got to stop. He's got to let it go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's watch this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's bringing like three and a half on stage and trying to be sexy with him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's do it. Can we? Can we. Can I give you. Yeah, I was going to say and Lou, that was fantastic. I know what you did right there was fantastic because me and you were on the same page here. Let's look at this David Lee Roth video. But let's not get far away from the fact that we were about to find out if Hawk 2 has spit on that thing. Had some adult content.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We were vamping for a while.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did you get it?

[Female Guest]

I've been looking for it and I haven't found the actual link yet.

[Mike Finoya]

What?

[Jay Oakerson]

Only fans?

[Female Guest]

Yeah, it says it's not only fans. It says it's some other platform and that it's not nudity. So I'm still.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's adult content? Oh, is it just her sucking cock? I'll take that.

[Mike Finoya]

Adult Haley Welch Adult content dot com.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll try it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is it a bitcoin? You have to buy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to buy one of her coins.

[Jay Oakerson]

You have to buy some Hawk Tools.

[Mike Finoya]

Punch up dot Live forward Slashtool. Have you been holding off on Us, Bobby, don't you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're at Punch up live.

[Mike Finoya]

Watch your classics, dude. You should get spit on that thing on. On Hawk. On. On Punch Up.

[Jay Oakerson]

You absolutely should get spit on the Spit on that thing. 2026 tour.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not gonna put. I'm not gonna. That's a great idea.

[Mike Finoya]

Guys, listen, she's a new Gallagher.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta make a phone call real quick.

[Announcer]

Absolutely.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I mean, you're the CEO, but get somebody on it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I actually wound up listening to. I went camping this weekend.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, there he is.

[Jay Oakerson]

Primitive camping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Primitive camping. And I went up and I listened to a Dead song.

[Mike Finoya]

You did?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Did you listen to my show?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was it called? Sample in a Jar.

[Mike Finoya]

That's fish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, sorry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, fish, Grateful Dead. Either way. It lasted the entire trip.

[Mike Finoya]

Did you enjoy it?

[Jay Oakerson]

He had no choice. It was the background music for the entire thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was a 42 hour song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you. It's good. It's good in the woods. Nothing around.

[Mike Finoya]

No one to judge you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one now. But it's a good camping. Like, it was a good little thing in the background while we were cooking to have that. This. This play.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who made the choice?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Joe. Joe Russell's big fish fan. And he was like, dude, he loves dad the fish. He's like, can we play a fish song? I was like, no. You want to play a Dead song? I was like, absolutely not.

[Female Guest]

That.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go, there's no dad. There's no. And he goes, just let me play one fish song. You'll like it. It's a good song. It's a good intro into this type of music. I was like, all right, go ahead, play it. And he played Sample in a jar.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he liked it. It was good. Around a fire in the middle of nowhere when you. You know what I mean?

[Mike Finoya]

Like, like, yeah, sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

Starving.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Starving.

[Mike Finoya]

Mosquito bites. A lot. A lot of. A lot of encephalitis running through your veins.

[Jay Oakerson]

Low on hoagies. For sure.

[Mike Finoya]

30ft.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a good.

[Jay Oakerson]

They got a. With a million. Anybody?

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah, I like it all the time. But yeah, I got what you're saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It would not be a good. Like before, I'm going on stage to pump me up.

[Mike Finoya]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Or any or any other time. Well, you know, can I tell you something? Whenever I hear something like this, the element of this that I'm hearing right here is like a. Seems like a part of a song I would like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's just that it's. I think in my mind it's this for 17 minutes. There's no crescendos. There's no lyrics. I really care about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It didn't go.

[Mike Finoya]

You don't know the lyrics, so how do you know you don't care about them?

[Jay Oakerson]

I can tell you what I'm saying. I, I, that's what I think I said. I hear the element of this and I go. But if it's like, if it's this pace and this kind of thing, like, for 17 minutes, it's not that interesting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This isn't that long. No. It's not as short as a regular song.

[Announcer]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it definitely. They jam like, they do this for a while. Version's 15 minutes, which is good.

[Mike Finoya]

See, it's not 17.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a long time.

[Jay Oakerson]

Settle down, dude. Be back in two and two. Relax.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's good in the background, though. It is, sure.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Getting stuff ready. And you lighten the fire.

[Jay Oakerson]

And controlling an elevator by hand.

[Mike Finoya]

Yes. It's fine in the background.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's all right.

[Mike Finoya]

When you're making hemp necklaces.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Thank you for trying it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But when you're washing your cooch in

[Mike Finoya]

a puddle, next time you go, hey, why don't you let me know?

[Jay Oakerson]

Good. Puddle, wash, washing music.

[Mike Finoya]

Next time, next time you go camping, let me know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to go. Yeah, I'm gonna bring Jay.

[Mike Finoya]

Definitely want to go. Can I go? But, like, hide in a tree and scare.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, we, we all have to go.

[Mike Finoya]

I'm down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not gonna scare Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who I'm gonna put Bobby on my shoulders. Could we be a gay couple? Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Play.

[Mike Finoya]

No play.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Leslie Jones coming up the mountain. Where's this fat.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, go yourself, you little ass. Puerto Rican porn star looking ass.

[Mike Finoya]

What, what constitutes us being a gay couple? Do we have to do gay stuff or just.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think we should be a gay throuple? I have a lot of great throuple ideas for three guys, but our crew won't be part, so we're gonna have to throuple it now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we go up to the woods, we'll throuple for the night.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. I tell you what, we should bring Mike for the Me, you, and Mike doing the fucking one night primitive camping.

[Female Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Will be a funny, funny night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, great night.

[Jay Oakerson]

That'd be a pretty funny night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just got a terrible visual of me, you, and him naked, rubbing bodies in a tent to this song.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'll be honest with you.

[Mike Finoya]

Don't ruin Fish for me, please.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can I say something? And I this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We Weren't just rubbing.

[Mike Finoya]

Just rubbing.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bringing the third person. I know it's supposed to be a me and you thing, but if we bring the third person, Mike can bring the inflatable hot tub on his backpack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have a lot of stuff we're not bringing.

[Mike Finoya]

I have a hammock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Accoutrements. We're bringing. We're just gonna hang. Dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

You brought a pillow.

[Mike Finoya]

I got tons of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna have a pillow. You're gonna have a sleeping bag. You'll have a sleeping pad. You'll have a tent.

[Jay Oakerson]

Flashlight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you can't. In the wood.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why? It's batteries.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, because that will attract bears. Your jizz.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh no. Fleshlight Flashlight.

[Jay Oakerson]

My jizz before. Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what we can do? We could all get in that tents and see who comes first.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I like that. Can I just a regular flashlight. I mean we're gonna have flashlights.

[Mike Finoya]

I assume that's the spring. Oh, I get it. That's what Hawk 2 is doing. She's making the springs for flesh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We all have to come. Whoever comes first has to put their. Everybody else has come in the bear bag.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And hang the bear bag.

[Jay Oakerson]

Deal.

[Mike Finoya]

Say I am already there. I'm in.

[Jay Oakerson]

I will do. I think it would be ideal. We said yesterday we were walking to the cars. I think that would be fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right.

[Jay Oakerson]

To go up there just. But really fucking. I mean. Oh. Guess what Mike also does. Plays the guitar. Oh yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

I'll bring my guitar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna strap that to you back.

[Mike Finoya]

I'll play you. I'll play you Grateful Dead songs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd rather have that.

[Mike Finoya]

Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll make up the lyrics. I'm sure I'll be pretty dead on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Girl.

[Jay Oakerson]

In a flowy thing.

[Female Guest]

That's it.

[Mike Finoya]

That's called nightmare hippie girl.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I want to smell your undert undertake. Smells like behind your ear.

[Mike Finoya]

Behind Rich Voss's ear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wanna pluck the hair out of your airy ola.

[Jay Oakerson]

Nipple hair.

[Mike Finoya]

Using it as floss.

[Jay Oakerson]

At what point do you stop calling it belly button hair and call it pussy hair?

[Mike Finoya]

Your belly button isn't pussy.

[Jay Oakerson]

North.

[Mike Finoya]

Remember when Rich Voss made us smell that gross cheese from behind his ear?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You know what it was? It wound up he had a cyst behind his ear.

[Announcer]

I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That we did that. He never got checked out. And he would. You'd smell his ear.

[Mike Finoya]

I know I'm not supposed to say his name on this show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you're not. Right.

[Jay Oakerson]

Rich Voss. Oh no. If we say it again, he shows up.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah. Nobody Don't Beetlejuice us. Did someone say rich boss?

[Jay Oakerson]

Holy. What? Well, I know before they said she had done. How old is this article? Because it said. Didn't say. She announced it on Twitter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is this again?

[Jay Oakerson]

This is Hawk to a girl doing adult content. We're all waiting for it.

[Female Guest]

This is from March 21st.

[Jay Oakerson]

Has anyone had to live up to a blow job in their life More?

[Mike Finoya]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, sorry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Maybe the girl. Superhead. Yeah. Monica Lewinsky. No, that's not true. That's not true. Because the thing wasn't about it. There was no thing about, like, holy, she gave the best blow jobs. She. What everyone took her for is like. Like a fat chick who was willing to. The president.

[Mike Finoya]

Was she fat?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was chubby.

[Jay Oakerson]

She was fat. Ish.

[Mike Finoya]

Was she then?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was chubby.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And she. She. Did he put a cigar in her asshole?

[Jay Oakerson]

She was. She was.

[Mike Finoya]

There you go.

[Jay Oakerson]

She was chubby.

[Mike Finoya]

That's the early oic.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's just like putting it in Brandy. That's the white guy's version of what

[Mike Finoya]

the black guys do instead of Macanudo.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think I feel like Macadoodo. Monica Lewinsky was much more. Much more availability than attractive.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's got a pretty.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's cute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. For the White House.

[Mike Finoya]

Her body.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See those fucking hags that are around that stupid building?

[Mike Finoya]

Her head looks like one of those clown heads that you spray water in the mouth and the balloon pops.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's kind of cute.

[Mike Finoya]

I would.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, if I was the president and she was hanging around wanting to suck my Dick, I would 100% do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Mike Finoya]

She got big old basketball backboard head.

[Jay Oakerson]

But I don't think the thing was about, like. Everyone knew she gave the best blow jobs or anything. Do you know what I mean? Whereas, like, Superhead, by the time she got that nickname, Superhead, and that was her fucking complete name. Karen Parsons. Ooh, Did I guess that right?

[Mike Finoya]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Karen Parsons is Hillary from Fresh Prince, I think.

[Female Guest]

Is she a porn star? Superhead.

[Mike Finoya]

No, Stupid head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stupid head.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it's not Stupid Head.

[Mike Finoya]

Stupid Head.

[Jay Oakerson]

Of course Stupid Head.

[Mike Finoya]

I'm gonna call you Stupid Head after that question.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's your next question? Is she white?

[Female Guest]

I know. There was some celebrity scandal I didn't know about.

[Jay Oakerson]

Doofus face.

[Mike Finoya]

Wait, who I love.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the only show we can still be abusive to women on. Finally.

[Mike Finoya]

I don't know who she is. I never heard of this superhead.

[Jay Oakerson]

Karen Steffens.

[Female Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

She was just like. She was cute. Ish. It was Just that she. She blew. Here's the thing. When all in the 90s, when there was that influx of monster black guys, she was able to gobble them down to the ball. Bang.

[Announcer]

Supahead.

[Jay Oakerson]

So save yourself the Wikipedia. I just answered the question for you. Her name is Supahead.

[Mike Finoya]

Thanks, Johnny. Cliff notes.

[Jay Oakerson]

There she is.

[Mike Finoya]

Wow. Yeah, she's cute.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's cute.

[Mike Finoya]

Definitely cuter.

[Jay Oakerson]

The thing was more. The thing was more that she could suck dick good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who else would suck a monster black cock or the president's dick?

[Mike Finoya]

Monster black cock?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Over the President's.

[Mike Finoya]

I don't give a fuck about the President's.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's such a better story.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's Badge of Honor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Badge of Honor. You suck the most powerful man in the world's cock or some random black dick.

[Mike Finoya]

Air Force. Come.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, sure. Come on, dude.

[Mike Finoya]

All right, yeah, fine. I'll blow the president.

[Jay Oakerson]

Change your answer.

[Mike Finoya]

All right, I'd like to change my answer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, change your answer.

[Mike Finoya]

The Olympics of dick sucking superhead Monica Lewinsky. And then.

[Jay Oakerson]

But here's. He was never known Monica Lewis. He was known for giving some great blow job. It was the fact that she just did it. I'm saying people that have to live up to a thing like the. Conversely after the Paris Hilton tape came out, you were like, oh, well, she gives an awful blowjob. The way I assumed a super hot rich girl would give a terrible blowjob because. Because her parents are together and love her still.

[Mike Finoya]

Right.

[Jay Oakerson]

If she was a rich girl with, you know, going through that. I stay at my dad's mansion and my mom's mansion back and forth. She would have been. She would have fucking been gargled that guy's balls. Instead she sucks it like. Like she's trying food she doesn't like

[Big Jay Oakerson]

for the first time. I think money has an effect on it too. I think if the poorer you are, the better dick you suck.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sure. It's very possible because Kim Kardashian, all while not famous at the time, definitely grew up wealthy. And I would say also on Ray J. Sucked like mediocre. Better than her friend Paris Hill.

[Mike Finoya]

Like a thick milkshake through a straw, but not great.

[Jay Oakerson]

Still. Still looked like she wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to be doing. Am I right about this, Black Lou? Thank you. Absolutely. It's not that great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whereas a poor chick is sucking dick to get you.

[Mike Finoya]

She's like, she's. She wants to suck the. The fatherhood out of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's like. Like rich kids really don't know how to run.

[Jay Oakerson]

There she is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, like my son, rich kids

[Mike Finoya]

don't know how to run.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

G. Yeah, my son knows how to run right now because he's not rich. He does ring and run. You know, they run from. He does all that stuff. He's run from the cops a couple times. But the better you do, kids learn how to run.

[Mike Finoya]

The better you do, the worse is running. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The worst is running.

[Jay Oakerson]

He doesn't have to run. Look, you think has been running from the cops and just drop that in in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he's doing. He got caught ringing. He's doing that ring and run. The ding dong did.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Mischief night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Mitch's night. Mischief night. Yeah. And the. I guess the cops were called and he came, you know, the back of my house where it's all woods. One night I seen him just in the ring can coming through the back of the woods. I'm like, what are you doing? Is. Dad, I'm gonna be honest with you. We were playing ring and run and the lady called the cops and we were running from the cops and I was like, well, you learn how to run. There you go.

[Mike Finoya]

Did he get caught?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's not gonna get caught. I said, if you get caught, you're

[Mike Finoya]

like, go down in your man cave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go, if you get caught, play just mentally.

[Mike Finoya]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, Bob, you're gonna have to lay some boundaries down there at some point, buddy. You're gonna play some boundaries down that. He goes, they're gonna come to the door and be like, we'd like to talk to your son.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

As soon as they catch you, son.

[Jay Oakerson]

Free.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I lost my lollipop.

[Jay Oakerson]

They're gonna go, son, doorbell.

[Female Guest]

Make a light.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love a doorbell. It's like, oh, Jesus.

[Announcer]

Great news for comedy TV fans. Every episode of the Hulu original series Alice and Steve is streaming on Hulu. From the producers of Baby Reindeer Best friends, Alice and Steve see their world implode when Steve starts dating Alice's 26 year old daughter. When the once rock solid friendship turns sour. These best friends make the best enemies. Watch every episode of Alice and Steve on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

[Jay Oakerson]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

days this show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, for me, during the summer when things are nice and things are happening, I usually start to think I can do it by myself. For some people, summer is their favorite season. But for others like me, juggling everything is pretty demanding and it's tough and it can lead to feelings being overwhelmed and anxiety and counting down the minutes just waiting for get back to some type of structure. Whether you're someone who thrives or just survives in the summer, make sure to take care of your during the warm months. Therapy with BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform, can help you understand your needs, feel more confident setting boundaries and creating a vision of summer that can actually feel good. Just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and Preferences and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching for you. Feel confident knowing betterhelp. Their therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bonfire that's B E T T E R h e l p.com Bonfire Expedia hey

[Announcer]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

I went to Cuba last year, went through a hurricane and didn't speak Spanish and it really hit me. I speak one language. Most Americans only speak one language and everybody else speaks two or three. And I vowed that day to learn Spanish and I'm going to go back to Cuba and know how to get bread, say hello, check into my hotel, do all the Stuff I wanted to do that I couldn't do last year, that's happening with Babbel. If you're traveling this summer, here is a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Instead, try babbel even just 10 minutes a day. That's what I do with Babbel can help you start having real conversations in as little as three weeks. Lessons are quick, practical and built by more than 200 languages language experts. And instead of memorizing random vocab, you're learning phrases you'll use. Ordering dinner, asking for directions or talking with locals. That's what you need. This is how you learn the language, by speaking it. Now I can go into a store, I talk to the guys at the garage. I can actually have a conversation. Am I fluent yet? No, but I'm definitely getting better at Spanish. Babbel's awesome. If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60 off. Go to babel.combonfire that's Babel B A B-B B E L.combonfire for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply.

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[Jay Oakerson]

by your theory, he's gonna be like, dad, did I. He goes, dad, Max, did you rape this girl they were accusing you of raping? He goes, I don't know. Did I? I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's not gonna get caught. He ran.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. No, I ran.

[Mike Finoya]

Do with ring doorbell rape? No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Front yard ringing and. Right. I mean, that was the greatest.

[Mike Finoya]

That was the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The best thing ever. When you were a kid, that was

[Mike Finoya]

when you still would have company. Not to quote Sebastian, but that's when you had company. Now if somebody rang the doorbell, I'd be like, who the. Like, what's going on here? Why is anybody ringing my doorbell?

[Jay Oakerson]

I would never.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You wanted to do that. You want your kid to be the one ringing it because then they're not gonna do your house.

[Jay Oakerson]

You have to understand why I fought a lot when I was young stuff because running wasn't. Could never be my first option. So everyone's like ding dong ditch. I go, you mean ding dong. I take the fall for everybody.

[Mike Finoya]

No, I'm dig dong dive under a car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's why he never did crime. Hey, we're going to rob the store.

[Jay Oakerson]

I can't go white collar. White collar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can drive.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he did a lot of white collar crime.

[Mike Finoya]

He was. He was returning a lot of non rewound videos.

[Jay Oakerson]

All white collar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to ring and run all the time. Me too. We used to ring and run and dive over bushes like people were gonna like we can't get arrested for ringing and running.

[Mike Finoya]

That was the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta get a talking to when you were younger.

[Jay Oakerson]

You could have gotten shipped out of you by a neighbor.

[Mike Finoya]

My, my uncle used to bring me ringing and running and one time I wasn't running fast enough and he grabbed me and just was dragging my legs. He was like come on let's go, let's go. We're gonna get in trouble. And I was like bouncing behind him. I'm like 7 years old. He's like 20.

[Jay Oakerson]

I was like, wow, I can't keep up a couple of scamps. You guys were second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There is a cut off to ringing running. I think it's like 15 to 16.

[Mike Finoya]

20 is like he kept it up. He kept it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's supposed to have a job at 20.

[Mike Finoya]

He's a professional ringing runner.

[Jay Oakerson]

He might have went pro.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can still hire him, right?

[Mike Finoya]

Absolutely. He does birthday parties I think for sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

I bet you there's tons of adults doing ringing runs on ding dong ditch we call it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no way that's still doing it.

[Jay Oakerson]

No on TikTok And I bet it's constantly now they've upped the ante. Now they were. Didn't the guy who got killed xxxtentation didn't his before he got like famous for rap. Wasn't this thing like he would just go to someone's house and like kick in their door and beat the out of him. Was that juice swirl? It was like one of those people. I don't know. Their thing was like just to go in the house. He goes yeah, it's a. Yeah, just go in someone's house and beat the out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that's assault.

[Mike Finoya]

Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's the point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was not fun.

[Female Guest]

Ding dong.

[Mike Finoya]

Ding dong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Death we used to take. During Halloween, we used to take all the pumpkins from all the other house and put them. Them on one person's house.

[Female Guest]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then ring the doorbell and run. So they would come out and there would be like 50 pumpkins on their porch.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah, 100%. You start leaf fires in the front yard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's nuts. But yeah, that sounds fun.

[Mike Finoya]

We used to do that a lot.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here's how I got away without having to run for things. What I would do is sneak out in the middle of the night and you go to the old folks home that for some reason had one of those boards that are like a marquee out front.

[Mike Finoya]

Switch their medication.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, the boards that would have the

[Big Jay Oakerson]

own Vaseline and them it would have.

[Jay Oakerson]

Have the letters up on the thing. You could change. Yeah, like a marquee.

[Female Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And we would just change those to like say, you know, like, like suck or something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's awesome.

[Jay Oakerson]

If it was like duck dinner or something. Something. You got to look at it. That'd be the fun. You look at it during the day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Then you go home and write down the phrase and then you plot. What could we change these letters to to make enough words that are. That are hilarious?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's very mental fun. That's like high level fun.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me and him are going ding dong. You're going, james, I gotta take this project home.

[Mike Finoya]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rhy Jewish center. See, he did this.

[Mike Finoya]

He did this in between drawing walls for people. You were always so artistic with your. With your.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was a skillful. I knew I wasn't running away from the cops or dodging or jumping over bushes.

[Mike Finoya]

You know what we did every year? We picked one neighbor we really hated and we would put like store bought Oscar Mayer like baloney on their car because it would like strip the paint.

[Female Guest]

Paint.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my gosh.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jesus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, like ham.

[Mike Finoya]

Like, like any. Like all the preservative like you'd stick it to. And then we'd put like hand soap in their door of their car. So when they went out, we used

[Big Jay Oakerson]

to go on our street. It was a really long street from Main street down to the end and there was this one strip where you. It was just. There was no turn offs and it was both side parking. So there was cars on both sides.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So late at night. Night. We'd have a group of kids down the end and as soon as a car come, they would. We'd pick up a car and put it in the middle of the road.

[Mike Finoya]

You pick up a car?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You just pick up the bumper and just swing it over. And then we go up the other end and we'd pick up your friends,

[Jay Oakerson]

Franco Colombo and Lee Haney.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was just like. It was like 10 of us, and

[Jay Oakerson]

we would swing the cars over 30 of you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The car would be stuck. It would be like 2 in the morning, and they'd go back up, and they couldn't. They had to just beep their horns. And then the guy would come up, be like, what the. His car would just be in the middle of the road.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't mind saying it. I don't mind saying it. Rock strong.

[Mike Finoya]

Go. We gotta move some cars.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't mind saying it at all. You guys were bad boys. I wasn't a bad boy. I was a good boy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I did.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I got in my trouble, but my trouble was always like, that dumb. It was like I did fat kid bad things. I had. I had all the porns. I would steal porn magazines. I would steal snacks. I would write things. No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you ever steal snacks?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think so. No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to steal.

[Jay Oakerson]

Never stole food, but I would have. I would have stole food if I thought there was a route to stealing food. No, it was funny. There was no, like. I think it was, like, more likely to take money out of, like, my grandmother's drawer to go get McDonald's and stuff. It wasn't, like, for drugs or anything. I mean, it was what my drug was, I guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to. I used to steal Swanson TV dinners.

[Mike Finoya]

You did?

[Female Guest]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to go into Alexander's, and we'd go in, and I would be the guy that would stuff all the, like, the fried chicken, the TV dinners. And that's back when they had. Had no. They had no microwave, so you had to do it in the oven, which took, like, seven days to cook in the oven.

[Jay Oakerson]

You got to poke a fork in it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

It got so hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have two burns on my arm because we had. We got the fried chicken, and we were so high. We got so basted. We were just waiting for this chick, it seemed like, for days.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. The cherry cobbler would take off a layer of skin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then we went in, and I. We all three of us were standing over the other, and Frankie went, it's done. And I just grabbed the pan hand with my hands and my wrists, and you. And I just threw the chicken up in the air and we just ate it off the ground. We were so up. Wow. Yeah. We used to steal cars, too.

[Mike Finoya]

We used to steal Cardinal cigarettes. They were like the ones that were so cheap they didn't even keep them in the back. They were, like, on display near the register. So it'd be like ring pops and cheap sunglasses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they were made with leaves.

[Mike Finoya]

Literally, it was like 80 cents a pack. And we would go, what's that right there? And then just grab a ton of them and go. Like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

First time I got arrested, we. We found a canteen truck.

[Jay Oakerson]

Truck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We were. We used to pull all nighters when I was like, I don't know, 11, 12. And we'd go around. We found a canteen truck and we opened it up and it was all Marlboro cigarettes and all kinds of snacks.

[Mike Finoya]

Whitey Bulger came out and said, you working for me now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we stole all the. So many. Having a carton of cigarettes as a

[Jay Oakerson]

kid, probably my worst kid crime. My worst kid crime was probably when I worked at 7:11. And my crime was not like, I just. Just let everyone I know commit crimes in there. Like, I gave them all. I didn't even think at what, like, the back were. And I was like, 18, 19. I didn't even think with, like, the backwards of how they would find out things are going. I didn't have any concept of, like, inventory or cameras.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everything's accounted for.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think there was much cameras in there because they never really ultimately came to me. But it was. And the thing was, I was giving away the things you really can't give away. You can, by the way, you can give away a hot dog. You can. A bag of chips, a soda here and there. You can just like, miss the scan or something like that. I was doing like, oh, hey, girl, that's kind of pretty that I sort of know, like, what's your brand of cigarettes? Take the carton. Who gives a.

[Mike Finoya]

You want an arm's length of scratch offs?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, hang on. I just got. I think I gave away scratch offs. Of course. I think I would just do some. I think I'd get bored, just rip one off and do it myself. Like, I just didn't treat anything like I would sit there. What I thought the fat pay dirt for me was middle of the night. No one watches me while I make chili dogs on top, like, on top of chips, you know, tortilla chips, all. I'm like, you know, I can just make as many hot dogs as I want. No one buys them, and we're just gonna throw them out anyway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think I'm gonna get a job at 7:11 on, like, Sunday nights.

[Jay Oakerson]

By the Time I ate them. By the time I ate them, it was like prune fingers. Oh, that was hooking everybody up. And then, and then just like I started doing comedy. And then one day the. The lady who owned it came in and she was like. It was a white lady. Big fat white lady. She goes, hey, can I talk to you? She goes, we're having a lot of like missing items kind of come up. And I went, I don't got time for this. And I just left and never came back.

[Mike Finoya]

I don't got time for this.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't got time for this. I was like, oh, the jig's probably up, huh? Man, I really gave away all the new ports. And Newport Lights. And Newport one hundreds. And Newport Light one hundreds, hundreds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to. I got the joke. He gave it all the black kids

[Jay Oakerson]

and Marlboro Menthols and you get it yet?

[Mike Finoya]

And Cools, Schools, Filter Kings, Salems to the ladies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to deliver subs at the Angelos. And they had the foot long sub. It was called the Grace.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is that how big you think a foot is? How big you think your dick is?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not a foot long.

[Mike Finoya]

It's a yard long.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's called the Great Divide. And it was the whole sub roll. So it was like this. It was like four subs in close. It's the best. Yeah. And I was such a fat. So I would call up and place a pickup order and then just never pick it up towards the end of my shift. So then they'd be like. I'd be like, who? Where's the sub going? Am I delivering? No, they didn't pick it up. You want it? I'd be like, oh, I guess you'd

[Mike Finoya]

crank call yourself oh, Smart with the

[Big Jay Oakerson]

whole sub and just fat. Eat by myself.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's.

[Mike Finoya]

You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it all, most of my crumbs time when I had jobs was hooking my friends up, letting them do crime. Strawberries, the music store. I. My, My manager chain smoked. He'd go in the back, my buddies would come in and I would just shut the sensor thing off. That's when CDs had that long plastic thing, remember? And it had that teeny little strip on the back that was like the thing that set off the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You had to rub it, right?

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah, we had a dumb thing. You had to do this. But also, if you just hit the switch behind the register.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut off.

[Mike Finoya]

It shut off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

So I would load all the CDs I wanted into like jazz or whatever. Right? Where Nobody cared. And my friends would come in and just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could have just left them in the dead area where nobody cared.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah, there you go. And they were like stacks of blank tapes and like that, and posters like, we robbed the place blind. And then I worked at a car wash. Everybody got free car washes.

[Jay Oakerson]

I told you before, when I worked at the.

[Mike Finoya]

I gave everything away when I worked

[Jay Oakerson]

at the CD place. That was the folks. That's what. You know, Lou, part of my dislike of Pearl Jam, I told you was like the day, it was like a month apart. You're a fan, so, you know, a month apart, they released one day, they came. You know, they stock the CDs, like alphabetically and stuff. And then they released all the same, exact cover cd. Pearl Jam. The entire North American tour, every city, its own cd. But you had to read the stick. Sticker, right? You have to read the sticker to see where it is. Every cover was exactly the same, which is. The sticker would say, like, you know, Austin, you know, whatever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Every. Every show, they recorded a CD for it, right? Like Carlos Mancia, 100 of them, right. White cover, black typeface.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. And then 2000, a month later, the entire European tour.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Jay Oakerson]

So in that place, the intro was

[Big Jay Oakerson]

brown, so you could tell those apart.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. When that place came, that's what I said. I was like, hey, I can't come in whatever day that I was scheduled for because I've got this comedy thing up in New York. And he was like, I need you to come in. No one else can do it. I go, I'm not doing it.

[Mike Finoya]

He's like.

[Jay Oakerson]

And he was like. He goes, you don't come in that day. You couldn't come back at all. I went, okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay's the most sweetest, non confrontational guy ever. Hey, you did that. All right, I'll see you later.

[Jay Oakerson]

A lot of my jobs, I just never went back. And then one day they'd call, and I think they liked me so much, they'd be like, hey, are you ever coming back? And I go, no.

[Mike Finoya]

Sorry, you didn't realize it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sorry, I thought you realized I was gone and moved on.

[Mike Finoya]

I got a job at Schmedley's Pub. Schmedley's. Schmedley's Irish Pub.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How's Schmedley doing?

[Mike Finoya]

Schley's Irish kid took over. They serve food you've never had the

[Big Jay Oakerson]

schedley sauce on fries.

[Jay Oakerson]

Schley, dude, A Schmedley burger, an afternoon schedley salad.

[Mike Finoya]

Schedley's at Yukon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got a schmedley soup.

[Mike Finoya]

I got a job working there. And. And they go, have you cooked before? Like a fry cook? And I'm like, yeah, I never had. And they go, all right, well, your first day is Super Bowl Sunday.

[Jay Oakerson]

Scallops and carpaccio.

[Mike Finoya]

Hammered Saturday. And I didn't go in. And they called and they go, why aren't you here? And I was like, oh, you meant this Super Bowl. And they were like, you're fired now. So I got fired before I even went in one day. I think that's got to be a record maybe.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, I. Yeah, that is a record. Mine was.

[Female Guest]

Was.

[Jay Oakerson]

My record was ups. I went for the initiation at the video night to load trucks. Well, yeah, but the video night, I went to watch. And I mean, that video night, you walk out of that video with, like, a feeling of like, yeah, there's no reason to go to college. I will work my way. You throw these things in the trucks for a while. Then they tell you. They point up in the factory and they go, see that people up there? Those are the sorters. Easy job there. That's just makes much more money than you. Well, then what? Then you get to the 18 wheel drivers. That's my. The real money. The 18 wheel drivers isn't the real. It's the brown truck guys are the ones that make the money. And if you get up there, like, looking over. Over $100,000 a year, which, when I was a kid, I was like, forever. Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Immediately.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I went one night, and they. They're firing that conveyor belt of boxes at me. And they. They gave me a big laminate this big of zip codes that I had to make sure everyone before I built this very, very specific kind of wall building they wanted done. That was what the video is mostly about, like, building the wall the way it's supposed to be built. And then. But they also want you to grab every package, find the label, and then small type, like, is it one of the 50 fucking zip codes I have on here? Like, you can't memorize it? Like, then I stopped giving a shit about that and started making the walls. And I hope it's their stuff saying here, I hope it's the right packages.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The reason why you don't get your packages.

[Mike Finoya]

He's redoing, like, Michelangelo's David out of boxes.

[Jay Oakerson]

The fucking dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The upstairs build an apartment. He could take a nap in the upstairs people.

[Jay Oakerson]

The sorters. I'm like, well, they're making more Money. They should do their fucking thing, right? Why am I down here getting pegged with boxes? I gotta check everything. So I stopped checking. And then it didn't matter because they're just coming down so fast. You're trying to build this wall. Then I started just kicking them off the conveyor belt in frustration. And then I left and I went home and I. So much soot in my lungs. I went home and sneezed and there was like black on the thing. And then my Jewish mom was like, you can't go back there. I was like, I know. That was so mean to me. It was crazy. They're thr boxes. And I was scared.

[Mike Finoya]

And she's like,

[Jay Oakerson]

I was scared. And she was like, you come here. You just go back to babysitting your brother and sisters. And I was like, yeah, I'm just going to stay here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You go back to tummy time, Jay.

[Mike Finoya]

Go back to tummy time, FedEx family.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm just going to watch my brother and sisters. For money though. You're right, it's scary out there in the world. That's what happens. And I'd go, I'm just sitting here babysitting your kids all the time. Oh, my friends got money because they have jobs. I need to fucking go and get a job. They go, all right, go get a job. And I come back up. I hate it there. I can't watch TV or nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't even wear my yellow blouse.

[Jay Oakerson]

I can't answer when my girlfriend beeps me.

[Mike Finoya]

Mom, can I have two bowls of cereal tonight?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never been fired from a job.

[Mike Finoya]

Huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never been fired.

[Jay Oakerson]

You just walked away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never walked away.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never been fired. I've always had a. I think the first job, the real job, I worked on a farm for a summer.

[Jay Oakerson]

Getting fired from a farm I didn't get fired from.

[Mike Finoya]

Cow just goes gate.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's HR

[Big Jay Oakerson]

the first day. I told you this before. The first day on the farm, there was. I showed up at like 5:30 in the morning and the guy was like, if you want eggs, you can go to the chicky coop and get eggs. And I was like, oh my God. I went and got. Got eggs. I cooked eggs in the kitchen of this farmhouse. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

[Mike Finoya]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then my boss was this big lesbian, kind of bulky lady in. In overalls. And she came out and she's like, well, I want to show you we're going to do. But if you want to go take a Walk around and check out the farm. And then I. I walked up and there was a mentally kid who. Who worked on the farm too, as like a. It was like a. You know, they had juvenile delinquents and mentally retarded kids.

[Jay Oakerson]

What if you found it was just kids and you thought you were a juvenile delinquent?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If this whole time I just found out I was. I'm a hire.

[Mike Finoya]

They gotta bring you back to the farm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm actually.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was all delinquents. He goes, how many delinquents were there? He goes, I guess only me when I think back on it. Wait a second. Maybe you go back to farm school for retards.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was just your retarded brother. Your mom, when Dan left, he's like, bring your brother in. I remember I walked up to. He had a cat. He was holding this cat, and the cat was like, just almost asleep, lying in his arms. And as I got closer, he had his finger in the cat's vagina.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I went, hey, man, I don't think you could do that.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like, I'm showing you that I can.

[Mike Finoya]

No, he went milking the prostate.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You thought you could. I didn't think I could either. But look, it's in there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Which means he's been caught before, of course.

[Female Guest]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the cat was like, man, mind your business, dude.

[Mike Finoya]

This poor cat's coming.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cat was like, me, yeah. Blogging mother. But I've never. I've never been fired. I've always left on good. I worked at a styrofoam factory making styrofoam balls for ornaments.

[Mike Finoya]

Was that next to the spring factory?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that I used to. When I went. When I got up, learned how to

[Jay Oakerson]

hawk to a spit on that thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had. My boss was Mr. Goldberg. I mean, right out of a Simpsons. Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, come here for a second. He had a desk in the middle of this factory. I had two Mexicans ladies. And I had. A mentally retarded guy was my boss.

[Mike Finoya]

There's a theme here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

He was your boss?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he was my boss. He. Well, he knew how to make. He was making the balls longer than me.

[Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Styrofoam balls, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was fucking great. I bet he made a perfect ball. It was a half ball, and you make another half ball, and then the Mexican ladies would glue the balls together.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're a new beast. So you probably want to use a breather so you don't get the fumes

[Mike Finoya]

and you're not used to it yet.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're just not using it yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'll get used to it and then

[Jay Oakerson]

you probably won't have used to be. I mean, for a long time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then we used. We used to take the scrap balls and we used to make like, you know, the peanuts for packing. We'd make that and he. He used to yell at me all the time. Cuz I would it up and I would like overfill the thing. No, no, no. Fit a body too much.

[Female Guest]

This is crazy.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not that hard to make scrap balls into packing.

[Female Guest]

Peanut.

[Jay Oakerson]

What are you retarded?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He thinks he's a juvenile delinquent.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, new kid thinks he's here from jail. He's telling everybody was this or jail.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would go to two classes a day in high school, ninth grade. Two classes. And then I would go work at the styrofoam factory.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, that's a retarded day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if right now the voice I hear goes away and I just. Hi. That's a retarded day.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's a whole retarded day.

[Mike Finoya]

It really is.

[Jay Oakerson]

I went to a special needs school and then I fucking went to styrofoam factory. Everything's so dangerous.

[Mike Finoya]

They left Bobby in a field trip.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's better than working at the Sharp Corners factory.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I say something which is really weird? My later job, I lived with six elderly men.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know you always think you were in charge, but you were just one of them. Always. No one gets involved in people this much.

[Female Guest]

Oh, my God, what a revelation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if Dawn's not my wife? She's my aunt.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's your caretaker.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She says my. My parents died.

[Jay Oakerson]

She left Bobby as well enough to get money from the government to take care of him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, we don't have. Have sex.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, my God.

[Jay Oakerson]

That would be weird. She be breaking her contract?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Holy.

[Female Guest]

I think I've been fired from pretty much every job I've ever had with the exception of maybe like skank Fest, you know this one. Well, I can't. I mean, I probably would have been if I didn't own the company.

[Mike Finoya]

Well, you didn't get fired from the stand, did you?

[Female Guest]

Yeah, I got not fired.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got fired?

[Female Guest]

No, I got demoted.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait a minute.

[Mike Finoya]

I mean, didn't they just make it uncomfortable? You were like, I'm not coming back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's fired.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why did you say, dude, it was the best. It was Maureen Taron. I started talking to her a lot when she first kind of went solo. There it was kind of like towards the end of TRUTV or something, but she was talking about getting back into managing. I didn't know enough about anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was kind of like, when did that conversation end? A week ago.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But no, she was like, you know, she works for people to know. She's worked for, like, Barry Katz and everything, and she worked at TruTV for a long time. But I like Maureen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love her.

[Jay Oakerson]

And just like, in the time of, like, chatting with her, I was kind of like, maybe, like, maybe Maureen would be a good part. She worked with Barry Katz and stuff. And I was like, you know, at this point, I was already like, chris Italia is the dumbest person I've ever met in my life. Yeah, I'm like, the owner of the stand is one. You know, one half of them was the great David Kimowitz, and the other one is retarded. Actually, I'm surprised you run into one of your.

[Mike Finoya]

Yeah, maybe he was. Did he have his finger in a cat's ass?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that might have been him.

[Announcer]

Him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He might have been thinner.

[Jay Oakerson]

Said, now I'm fingering a cat's ass.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, let me see if we can get you. He goes, I'm smart.

[Mike Finoya]

Not like dad's dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, Jerry, Rod. Bobby. You see me put his finger in his cat's ears.

[Female Guest]

Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got to make a sound from ball for.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, anyway, I was like, he's retarded. So I have to kind of get at a dodge. I'm just, you know, I love Dave, but I was like, he's this. He's making most of my phone calls at this point. He's fucking up huge. So my agent doesn't like him at all. And it's just like a. And then whatchamacallit. So what the fuck? Where was I at?

[Mike Finoya]

Maureen, Terry, Maureen.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. So I was like, maybe I'll run with Maureen and think about going to her. And then just in talking to her, I was dating. Just kind of new dating Christine. And Christine and her really got along. And, you know, she looked up to Maureen. Maureen's like an executive at a network and stuff and worked with Barry Katz. So she's kind of like, you know, taken by Maureen a little bit. And Maureen's almost like, maybe possibly working with her or something like that. And, like. And I think Christine just gave like a. You said like a tell all or something to Maureen, and then, like, they saw it.

[Female Guest]

No, I wrote her an email that her assistant saw and her assistant told them, but I didn't Know was I figured out it was the assistant later.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Okay.

[Female Guest]

I just was like, how did he possibly see this email? And it's like, you should never put anything right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm a little confused. So you wrote a tell all about the stand and how shitty they were or something?

[Jay Oakerson]

Not a tell all email, just being, like, pitching them. Pitching about them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the assistant ratted you out to them?

[Jay Oakerson]

I believe so. It's so funny. So it was pretty funny, like, when Kim was. Because, you know, the voice of reason in the situation. He is my manager still, and he was. And him and Chris broke up. But even in that moment, like, he's. He said the most rational thing is, like, he's like, they're demoting her. He goes like, hey, man. He's like, I'm not firing her because, like, we love her. But I mean, like, come on. He was like, we can't have somebody who works for us talking about us like that and complaining about our whole job. It was like, really complaining about the.

[Announcer]

The.

[Jay Oakerson]

The. The business running of the stand. So they were kind of like, if you, you can't work.

[Female Guest]

And so I was kind of like, Boston. Like, I honestly, I wasn't thinking. I was being, you know, I wasn't. I was also very. I mean, I was like 26 at the time. Yeah, I was very young.

[Jay Oakerson]

So it is today. But it is just so funny, though. It's just. And like, you know, they came down. But even Dave, when he talked to me, I was kind of like, yeah, I guess you got the motor. What are you gonna do?

[Female Guest]

Like, it wasn't even that. They, like, asked me if I wanted to go part time, and I said yes, which was really stupid.

[Jay Oakerson]

But they were also kind of offering it. They kind of did that in almost like a quit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then she eventually was kind of like, oh, I get it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They go, bye bye.

[Mike Finoya]

Part time.

[Female Guest]

It was weird. It was like. Then I got back in and I was starting to manage the standing room.

[Mike Finoya]

Oh, my God. They sent you to Queens.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Jay Oakerson]

They sent you to Purgatory.

[Female Guest]

And I was working, like, all the

[Mike Finoya]

time in that fucking bowling alley of a club.

[Female Guest]

And then eventually I was able to, too.

[Mike Finoya]

That was a great room when you were there. I used to go there a lot

[Big Jay Oakerson]

when you were there.

[Female Guest]

Fun.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Female Guest]

But I did get fired from Comics Stand Up New York Comic Strip Live and buy gnome from the seller, but not from the club, from his show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How are you still in the business?

[Female Guest]

I started my own company.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why did you get fired from the very mouthy. Oh yeah, that's true.

[Mike Finoya]

You got fired by the seller.

[Female Guest]

No, by gnome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why would you get fired from nopa?

[Female Guest]

He didn't like the way I was booking a show.

[Jay Oakerson]

He goes, hey, can you help me book. You were helping Ron Bennett do Ron and Fez show, right? Get like comics, like, can you help us with booking? And then she's like, yeah, sure. And then she was coming back with like, hey, I've got Joe List and blah, blah. He's like. I was thinking more of like a Noam Chomsky or like want to get.

[Female Guest]

He was there.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like, how about Donald Trump? How about Donald Trump Jr? She's like, okay. I was thinking more Joey Gay, I guess. Yeah, I guess I could see what's going on with Dan Rather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He really did take the comedy podcast into some political stupid.

[Female Guest]

It just wasn't what I thought the show was.

[Jay Oakerson]

I thought it was a round.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not what the show. The people who are fans of the show. It wasn't what they thought it was going to be either.

[Mike Finoya]

Gnomes, like, do you have Desmond Tutu's of Ales for.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, really talk to Prime Minister. You're right about the UPS drivers. What a gig, my friend. He went right into ups. Became a driver right out of the high school, retired at 52, took less. He. If he worked one more year, he would have made full pension. But he was just done. He had made so much money. And by the way, for the last two years of his working there, it was one day a week. We said, why don't you just work one more year for one day a week?

[Announcer]

He went,

[Jay Oakerson]

no kidding, don't be bothered. Do you know how much he made? I mean, enough to. He just plays golf and. And fishes all day.

[Mike Finoya]

I mean, he's done spits on a bunch of things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Set up.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's content.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you could get into. I remember thinking about that UPS job. Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

I think about it every weekend.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're in shape. You could still do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna get that 711 job one day. Start eating hot dogs and chips.

[Mike Finoya]

I'm gonna start my own comedy company.

[Jay Oakerson]

Buddy, can I tell you something? You could just. You know where the bags of nacho cheese are? You could just keep putting more bags in and cranking more cheese on utter of cheese. Yeah, I know how to turn it up. I know. I know how to make it hotter. The cheese. I knew to crank it up. I learned all the little things where you take this and then you put it in the microwave and then zap that for a second.

[Mike Finoya]

It's so great.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pull the bun, man. I really. I did not have a problem working there. If there was what didn't exist, then that would have been great. If I had, like, a laptop or just a phone that I could set up and watch stuff all night, I may have never quit night shift at a 7 11. I would have had to get of rid. Robbed violently to shake me from doing that job. And you wouldn't have to rob me that violently because if I wouldn't have gotten caught doing thing, I would have been like, dude, take whatever you want, man.

[Mike Finoya]

Whose show would we be on? Right here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He'd be like, guys, I don't. You don't have to rob me. Take it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, grab. Hey, grab the end of this win for life. Spool and run and let me see. I want to. I'm curious how far you can get before the spool runs out.

[Mike Finoya]

Let's start. Yo, you're the lady in the trap in the middle.

[Jay Oakerson]

Hey, grab these bingo doublers and win for life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is my favorite. Yeah.

[Mike Finoya]

Is the most alluring. You don't want to just win tonight. You want to win for life.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't win for life. To me, though, it's another, like, you scratch it off and you're done. If I'm going to spend $10 on a piece of paper that's probably worth nothing. I want to play a game. I want to play a crossword puzzle or I want to play bingo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want win for life. I want life.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know you're looking at the prize. I assume we're never going to win. So I'm like, how could I kill 15 minutes playing bingo on the scratch off car with the chance that as I'm sitting here half giving a maybe I'm a millionaire, I don't even know it.

[Mike Finoya]

Are you. You're buying smokes. You go, you know what? Let me get a royal rumble twice a year. Twice a year.

[Jay Oakerson]

Twice a year.

[Mike Finoya]

A couple of them.

[Jay Oakerson]

Me and Bobby and Ari got him one. We never got to cash them in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, never did.

[Mike Finoya]

Every so often. My grandfather likes him as a gift.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mike, you're married.

[Mike Finoya]

I am.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How's that going?

[Mike Finoya]

What the. Great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I thought you'd just be able to run into a joke doing Byron Allen. I'm sorry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Damn, Mike.

[Mike Finoya]

Dude, Man, I'm sorry. I'm unleashed again.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who put you back on the lead?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Take a break right now.

[Jay Oakerson]

Mikey Fenoya is going to be The Mohegan Sun July 2nd through the 4th, Zany's Downtown Chicago July 9th through the 11th, Zany's Nashville August 28th and 29th. For tickets and all of us tour dates go to Mike Finoya F I N o I a mikefenoya.com and check out Saturday Night Shakedown every Saturday 8 to 9pm on SiriusXM Grateful Dead channel and follow him ikefanoy on all socials. Punchup Live Robert Kelly for all his tickets, he's going to be at Governor's Levittown June 19th and 20th Comedy Mothership in Austin July 3rd to the 5th. After that, Portsmouth, New Hampshire Saratoga Springs in Brooklyn, New York. For tickets and all tour dates. One more time, punch up that Live Robert Kelly. And of course, of course every Tuesday night, Fat Black was get Lounge, the Comedy Cell or 7pm that's tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Big J is going to be the Pantages. Correct. Pantages Theater in Minneapolis this weekend, June 12th. Then he's going right over to the Egyptian theater in Boise, Idaho.

[Announcer]

Mike.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's gonna be with me on both those June 13th.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's cool. After that he'll be in Buffalo, Harrisburg, Pennipeg for tickets and all the tour dates. BigJ comedy.com YouTube.com/big J Okerson for all his videos and live shows. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

[Jay Oakerson]

When I scraped my car in that parking garage, I was worried that it could be a long process to take care of it. Like a landscaper's first day trimming a hedge maze. I have definitely already been here. Now, was it left right or right left? Well, maybe I'll cut a path out and find my way back later. But it wasn't like that. I filed a claim in under two minutes on the Geico app and they handled it from there. It was taken care of almost as quickly as it happened. It feels good to get help quick. It feels good to Geico.

[Announcer]

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