Sit On Your Speaker

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: Sit On Your Speaker
Release Date: June 25, 2025

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1. Black Sabbath Reunion and Concert Insights

Timestamp: 00:52 - 02:30

The episode kicks off with an enthusiastic discussion about the upcoming Black Sabbath reunion concerts scheduled for July in Birmingham. Big Jay Oakerson and Bobby Kelly delve into the lineup, mentioning various guest singers and bands like Zach Wilde, Pantera, Anthrax, and Tool. They express mixed feelings about the performances, particularly noting Tool's characteristic edgy presence. Bobby humorously remarks, “They’re not gonna wheel him out in,” highlighting skepticism about the show's grandeur. The hosts reflect on past Black Sabbath performances, sharing anecdotes and expressing anticipation for the event’s unpredictability.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson at [01:12]: “That is a Thursday.”

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2. Navigating Comedy Festivals and Representation Issues

Timestamp: 03:00 - 07:00

Transitioning to their personal experiences, Jay and Bobby recount their time at the Montreal comedy festival, emphasizing the lack of representation for certain comedians. Bobby shares frustration, “It just sucks that they can let you know what they think of you in a font,” referring to how headliners are often prioritized over other performers through promotional materials. They discuss the challenges of feeling undervalued, especially when festival banners and posters exclude key acts like themselves. The conversation touches on the importance of equal representation and the emotional impact of being sidelined in favor of more prominent figures.

Notable Quote:
Bobby Kelly at [04:16]: “It's like, what the. How did I feel? I. When you said, let's do this, I was like, let's have fun.”

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3. Encounters with Ms. Pat and HR Policies in Comedy Circuits

Timestamp: 06:07 - 07:00

The hosts bring up a specific incident involving the comedian Ms. Pat, detailing an altercation with another comic at a Boston fundraiser. Bobby narrates, “He spoke in a French weird accent. ... He was yelling at her and he’s a female.” This led to immediate repercussions, including Mr. Pat enforcing stricter HR policies at subsequent events to curb offensive behavior. They comment on the evolving landscape of comedy shows, where certain jokes and behaviors are now heavily scrutinized to prevent harassment, reflecting on how these changes have altered the dynamic within comedy circles.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson at [07:00]: “I wish a would that wheezy be.”

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4. Humorous Takes on Sexual Health and Hookup Culture

Timestamp: 08:16 - 13:00

Jay and Bobby transition into a lighter yet candid discussion about sexual health, specifically addressing herpes and HIV/AIDS with their trademark humor. Bobby quips, “I have herpes. It’s not a death sentence,” while Jay adds, “A lot of people know Bobby's asshole.” They delve into the misconceptions surrounding HIV/AIDS, poking fun at outdated beliefs and promoting awareness in a humorous context. The conversation highlights their ability to tackle sensitive topics with levity, making listeners both laugh and reflect on important health issues.

Notable Quote:
Bobby Kelly at [08:48]: “I have herpes.”

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5. Parody and Commentary on Corey Feldman’s Musical Ventures

Timestamp: 14:57 - 56:59

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a satirical segment featuring Corey Feldman. The hosts mock Feldman’s new cover album, “Characters,” portraying it as overly literal and lacking subtlety. They imitate Feldman’s promotion tactics, including exaggerated descriptions and humorous mispronunciations like “Magnum Opus” becoming “Magnus Opus.” The segment includes a faux interview where Feldman attempts to engage listeners with absurd requests, such as asking women to sit on their phone speakers to “make them come.” This parody extends to critiquing Feldman’s dancing and musical abilities, blending sharp wit with playful ribbing.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson at [31:36]: “Well, listen, you got to work within what the notes you can hit. And clearly he's a Beatles.”

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6. Reflections on Vintage TV Shows and Music Videos

Timestamp: 58:05 - 60:33

Towards the end of the episode, Jay and Bobby reminisce about classic TV shows like "The Goonies" and "Howard Stern," discussing their experiences and the nostalgic value these programs hold. They humorously critique the quality of older television productions, mentioning issues like poor picture quality and awkward content. The conversation shifts to music videos, where they express disdain for Feldman’s attempts at producing engaging content, ultimately maintaining their comedic stance on the challenges of creating quality media in the modern age.

Notable Quote:
Big Jay Oakerson at [35:32]: “It turns out if you take a piece of shit and produce it with high tech equipment. Still just a piece of shit with a bunch of fucking bleeps and blops.”

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7. Upcoming Tours and Host Promotion

Timestamp: 56:59 - 59:58

In the closing segments, Jay and Bobby promote their upcoming comedy tours. Big Jay announces his shows in Charlotte, Tacoma, Los Angeles, and Sacramento, directing listeners to his website and YouTube for tickets and specials. Similarly, Bobby shares his tour dates in Portland, Maine, Rochester, Tampa, and Easton, Pennsylvania, encouraging fans to visit his online profiles for more information. This segment blends promotion with their signature humor, ensuring listeners are informed about where they can catch their live performances.

Notable Quote:
Bobby Kelly at [58:02]: “What are you talking about?”

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Conclusion

In this episode of "The Bonfire," Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly deliver a blend of sharp humor, personal anecdotes, and satirical commentary on the entertainment industry. From dissecting concert lineups and festival experiences to humorously navigating sensitive topics like sexual health, the duo maintains their engaging and unfiltered conversational style. Their parody of Corey Feldman’s musical endeavors showcases their ability to entertain while critiquing pop culture, culminating in a promotion of their upcoming tours that ties the episode together seamlessly.

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Additional Notes:

• Listener Engagement: The hosts frequently interact with each other, creating a dynamic and spontaneous atmosphere that reflects their live show vibe.
• Humor Style: The episode is characterized by blunt humor, playful teasing, and candid discussions, staying true to the show’s description of "no-holds-barred conversations."

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't they have the coolest sound? You never feel cooler in your life, Jacob, when you listen to. Yeah. Wearing a performance fleece and some reasonable pants listening to Black Sabbath.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, you cold?

[Jacob]

I am.

[Bobby Kelly]

You cold? Yeah. Did you feel hot inside listening to Sabbath?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you so cold?

[Jacob]

I'm freezing. That's a Thursday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is a Thursday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Reference is Ozzy. He's got. Is he doing concerts? Is he done?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

One last show? That big show happening in Birmingham, August. No, I think it's like Black Sabbath reunion. It's July. It's like July 15th, 16th, 15th or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's gonna make it.

[Jacob]

I don't think he's doing more than a couple of songs. It's a lot of guest singers.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're not gonna wheel him out in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The cross while he's doing. He's sitting all four of Sabbath together. And then him by himself, I assume was Zach Wilde. Yeah. And then Pantera, Anthrax, but it's a bunch of them. And then Tool, of course, being their regular old cunty selves. They're not. They're the only band that's not gonna be part of the live stream.

[Bobby Kelly]

The Dane cooking it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's such dick holes.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what Dane did. Remember that fundraiser they did in Boston? And he was like, you can't air my stuff because it's new material and I don't want it out there. It's like Aerosmith went up. It's like, who the fuck are you doing, dude?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at these. Look at these guest appearances, by the way. Billy Corgan. Look at. They're all in our lives here. That's Bill Burr's brother, David Draiman, who Hates Dave Smith, Fred Durst, who knows us peripherally because we were tried. They tried to keep us out of their concert.

[Bobby Kelly]

It sucks that if I was on that, if that was a comedy poster, I'd be down at the bottom with Wolfgang Van Halen. Yeah, I'd be that.

[Jacob]

I just want to see Bill Ward play drums again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'd be. You'd be David Draiman of Disturbed. You'd be Bobby Kelly from Bonfire.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, dude, you'd be. You'd be. It'd be Rogan up top and all those. And then you'd be in the middle with Black Sabbath. And that' that, that font. You'd be there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, it's part of the sphere.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know your sphere. I have no sphere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The sphere fonts only go so small.

[Bobby Kelly]

Doesn't that make you feel bad when you do a festival, though? And you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hate it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, there's no. I remember when Moon Tower did it and they had banners all over the city on the light posts of the comics faces. And they didn't have me. I was like, all right, I'll take that hit, but this sucks. And then they're like, come to the. They're doing a pingpong festival over at the theater. You gotta come. So I went. And as I walk in this ping pong paddles with every comic on the festival. And I was. I was like, hey, do they have one of me? And they're like, no. I was like, this place.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They put us up on the polls once at Moon Tower, once or twice when they were doing. They don't do it anymore. But yeah, they would. That was. Yeah, Any poster that comes out for sure. Yeah. And then the only time it feels okay is when it's alphabetical. What feels worse than alphabetical, though, is when they do it alphabetical by importance. Like, they do it in alphabetical, like headliners, then alphabetical. Who gives a shit? Like, pile. It's, you know, I mean, like, they really restart alphabetizing it again. It stinks of importance. If it's all alphabetized and they just go from big font to little font, you accept that completely. The funniest is that, dude, when it's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, it just sucks that they can let you know what they think of you in a font.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't that crazy?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like, what the. How did I feel? I. When you said, let's do this, I was like, let's have fun. And then I show up and you put me in a certain size font and I hate myself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And by the way, he Starts making you, like, get upset with people who you don't have a problem with or actually like. So you're like, oh, I guess I'm a smaller font than Eric Griffin. No problem with Eric at all. He's great.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love Eric. But he was a bigger font than me when you just relapsed the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you're just like, man. Oh, I guess I'm a smaller font than Eric Griffin. This is how I find out.

[Bobby Kelly]

You remember we did the. When we did the Nasty show, that was like the last fun Montreal we had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Me and you did the nasty show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that was it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was. And that was all the girls on. It was mostly girls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

On our show, we were the only dudes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, oh, that one. Yeah. No, that was not one of my favorites at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I had a blast. No, we. That is.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the one where Brad Williams was scaring the security guard. Heard of Fear of Midgets?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that was a different one. That was the. That was. That was Meatloaf Sandwich Year.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that was a good one, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was a great. That was one of the best times I ever had in Montreal. That one is what I'm thinking of. No, that other one. No way, dude. We had Yamanika and Lisa Traeger on that show. They couldn't wait to be in a fight with each other or somebody every day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was that the one where. Yeah, we were doing my podcast in one of the rooms, and young men, you could try to come in. And I shut the door and locked it, probably. And she was yelling at us, and she went, seriously, motherfuckers, if you don't open this door, I'm gonna fuck all you up. And we just heard silence. And then we were all scared to open the door. Just like, you open it. I'm like, no, you open it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just out there breathing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Was that after the pandemic? Was that going back, or Was that the 2019 year?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was before. Before Pandemic.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was the. Oh, I was at the one with. When the. When they had to put the HR statements up. That's when I knew it was over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

When the fun was over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of the land. Acknowledgment.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, when they had no harassings back. You couldn't say certain things in the green room anymore because it. To offend other comedians.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Christine]

I didn't see this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, because one I forget, one of the comics went up to Mrs. Pat at a bar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Miss.

[Bobby Kelly]

Back then, she was Mrs. She got divorced. That's who you know. I know Mrs. Pat. I know Mr. Pat too, you know? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Comic one up to her and just started and yelling at her and his pet. Yeah, that's balls weird. It was a French comic too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lady.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, dude, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Kelly]

He spoke in a French weird accent.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was fake to me. You're a poop, Mrs. Pet.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was being up. He got kicked out of the festival.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ms. Butt.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then the next night they had all kinds of banners up. HR banners. Like, don't say this. You can't say that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wish a would that wheezy be.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would last person I with Ms. Pat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ms. Pat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ms. Pat yelled at Yamana.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did she?

[Jacob]

To the tip.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yama Yamana was dressed in a all American flag spandex outfit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

At the. And after the show, we were at the ice cream store and she got mad at the dude. The French dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because he didn't give her sprinkles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. I do remember this.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's like, you gave all these white people sprinkled. She's an American flag. And Ms. Pat said, shut your fat ass up. You up America. It was fat on fat crime.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This white boy sprinkles.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. I'll tell you what. Across all race lines, when you're a certain weight, you shouldn't make yourself too seen complaining about desserts. Yeah. In general, you should be like, this is a small piece of cake. If everybody looks over and you go, oh, I mean, no, nothing. This is perfect. This is a little too big actually. Am I sharing this with somebody? Please.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was one of the funniest sights to see a big black girl in an American flag, tight outfit, screaming, calling racist Canada. Racist. You racist Canadian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I'm saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

You gave that skinny Canadian bitch more sprinkles. Why? Why I gotta wait.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Racist. Give me all three of my burgers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Why don't I get free French fries?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wasn't a mistake. I pushed french fries three times. Oh, we assumed you just hit the button too many times. Huh? Why? Cuz you racist. God damn. Well, God damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have a. I told this on skanks last night.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have herpes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have herpes.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not a death sentence. So I'll just let you know if I'm not having an outbreak. It's almost impossible for you to catch.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you've been talking to Joe List. You can catch it. I can't believe I don't have herpes. Yeah, I can't do you know me? Girls I was with that had herpes? And I never got herpes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Never got the herpes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd say good for you, but good for them for knowing not to give the herp. Have sex with you during an outbreak.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I was kind of. Kind of. I was like. I was. I almost. I was getting prepared. I was getting prepared to get aids. I was. I was definitely going to get aids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, that was Patrice when he always told me how funny he thought Corey Holcomb was. It was that from a conversation he said they had where Corey Holcomb said he. That AIDS doesn't exist. And they were like, what? He's like. He's like, why do you think that? He goes, because I ain't got it. He's like, I don't know what a have to do to get aids, but I've done it. All of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I remember when I went. I was so much raw dog at the time of peak aids, and I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Went into it, you can't get AIDS from dogs.

[Bobby Kelly]

No raw dog, no rubber. Yeah, it's a slogan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Slogan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's my slogan back in the day. Raw dog back with Mrs. Pat and Mr. Pat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Change the narrative to make slogan make sense. Yeah, that was my slogan. Bobby Kelly, raw dog. Can you just go, raw dog?

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you stop correcting?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I am. I'm with it. I love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a micro corrector.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's your catchphrase, and I'm okay with it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay goes like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Raw dog.

[Bobby Kelly]

Excuse me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's your slogan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stop catching through your micro net.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm a human cheesecloth.

[Bobby Kelly]

You really are just a douchebag teacher waiting for a mistake. Shut up, you fat, and just let me tell a story. Just go with it. Look at your pale calf all day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, so pale.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anyways, yeah, dude, I went into the doctors, and I was like, yo, man, I definitely think I might have. I did some bad. I was with a girl who's real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ay, ay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he was like, do you get in the ass? I was like, no. He goes, do you share needles with people? Do you heroin and share needles? I go, no, I've been sober since I was 15. He goes, you're fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you tell him, though, that you keep needles up your ass? Because that wasn't specific.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't tell him that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, well.

[Bobby Kelly]

That I did the issue.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kept my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You never took it, you never got fucked in the ass, and you never used needles.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you did put needles in your ass.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I was trying to help the community. I was storing the. The old needles in my ass so kids didn't get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Bobby. A lot of people know Bobby's asshole. One point was a needle return.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's what they. They started that whole thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you put him back in his asshole, and then he pulls two. Two fresh ones out of your pocket and give them to you. I don't know a lot about aids. Yeah, none of us know a whole lot about aids.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was shocking to me to have a doctor go, yeah, you know, got aids. You can't get aids. He goes, you can't get AIDS from having sex with chicks. I was like, what? He goes, yeah, it's. It's the. It's highly impossible to get aids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

AIDS is going like Covid, though. No one talks about it anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, we should bring it back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Even get AIDS anymore. Or do you just get HIV and then you manage that forever?

[Bobby Kelly]

Get HIV and manage that?

[Jacob]

Depends.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or you can get prep in the world, huh?

[Jacob]

Depends where you are. We got the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Talking about the good old state of America.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, what do you do when you're on vacation in Florida? Not to get aids?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean.

[Jacob]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you prepare? How do you do that?

[Jacob]

It's not difficult.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you down there, a lot of Haitian immigrants.

[Jacob]

I'm not. I'm not in that area.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know if Haitians have aids. But it sounded good, didn't it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, when you jerking off of the guys in a mangrove bush, bat down in Florida on your vacation, you're separate. Okay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Look at that. It's pro right now. It's likely that you'll. You will never develop AIDS if you have HIV in 2025.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't even say where. It doesn't matter where you're at. African bush people.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you can just have ass sex now, huh, and not get it? Yeah, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I would say, Jacob. And before you get your own subscription, Jacob, why don't you loan him some prep to let him see? I assume you got it, right? I mean, the commercials, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Commercials.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got yourself a little.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I say something?

[Jacob]

Commercials. I have.

[Bobby Kelly]

I might need prep for 5, 8, and above guys. It's different levels of prep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tall prep.

[Bobby Kelly]

I might need tall prep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's called PT Prep. Tall prep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tall.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My size is xlt, extra large tall. Bobby needs tall prep.

[Bobby Kelly]

I need tall prep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because he's worried that there's still some part of his body that AIDS can get to because he's taller than the prep that you use.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry, Jacob, let's talk prep. You and. You and Max can use the same prep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you guys can use prep.

[Jacob]

Size, Small prep.

[Bobby Kelly]

How tall are you? How.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's boys. It's boys prep.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have boys, but it's cheaper. That's better. You don't have to pay this much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's true. Pretty exciting.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is cool. Boy Prep is way cheaper than Tall Prep and XL Man Prep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. I have to pay so much more for tall things. Phone calls that. We have a phone call coming in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Louis, this worth going to? Yeah, go to it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I really don't think it is. Unless they want to decipher whether this gentleman is drunk or. Well, let's not just put them on. Let's see. What the. What the. Was this you? Black Lou puts the description in. Yes. I want to hear the description. Dana, Northern California Drunk or retarded once. Talk Corey, filming updates. Drunk or retarded?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think Corey has a new album, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In the midst of all this, I.

[Bobby Kelly]

Think he came out with new stuff.

[Jacob]

An announcement about a new. New music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's got new music. He's out. You didn't. I put it in the thing. It didn't get pinked. No, but I put it in the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Joe. Oh. Well, it was released in 2024.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he's got new stuff.

[Jacob]

There's something new to sell.

[Bobby Kelly]

Career. Yeah, something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's got a new album. Talking about new music.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we just hear this guy for a second?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna take the reins. If you're asking for it, let's do it. Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's his name?

[Jacob]

Joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dana.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dana, you're on the air, buddy. What's happening? Welcome to the bonfire. Pull up an Anne Arondek chair and put some marshmallows on the fire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. That was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. Thank you. What's up, buddy? He doesn't sound. You. You sound normal to me. Yeah, I'm not drunk, so thank you. You're welcome, dude. Like the rest of this crew, right, guys? Because we're retarded and drunk. That's our thing. Yeah. So Corey Feldman. Yeah. He decided that he was gonna do a cover album and do everything, and his Twitter and everything has been absolutely beautiful. Yeah, you should really take your time. You're taking your time right now. Yeah, he's got a whole bunch of new.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess not new songs. Cover songs. No, no. It's all cover songs. It's really hilarious. And you guys need to Keep the update with Corey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you know what, dude? Corey.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's going crazy, man. He's going crazy. Yeah. What's up, Jay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's remake a magical moment in radio history. Remember, Howard Stern made the girl. Hey, Dana, would you sit on your speaker for me? And I could try to make you come with my voice. Let me know if you're gonna explode.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dana, Dana. Dana. Dana. Yeah? Are you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, I thought he was. I thought he was ch. I thought he was hanging and jerking off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, Dana, do. Do people still have subwoofers?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Do you have big house speakers?

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a big subwoofer. House speakers from 83 Home. Hey, Dana, put your phone in your back pocket real quick. Dan, did you come? Oh, not yet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey. All right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Put in your front pocket. Go ahead, Jake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well. Well. Dana's. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Canada. Canada.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what? I don't think he's gonna come, but I will say this. Bobby, I like the middle of your theory there. Let's update the bit. No one's got a fucking house speaker anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody does.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And if they do, you don't want to hear that person come. They're fucking 70. Let's see if a cell phone sitting on a cell phone on speaker.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Us humming would work. The first girl is ready to call and let that happen to you. 8, 6, 6, 9, 6, 9. 1969. 69. Get it? Noice.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to be in panties, though, not jeans. Not thick jeans. Not Japanese. Dun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I'm not gonna sit here with Bobby and start telling you and micromanaging how you're gonna.

[Bobby Kelly]

You love micro everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, micro penis.

[Bobby Kelly]

You love micropenis. God damn it. You stole my little dick joke that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was gonna stole your business. Dude, that's why I'll never talk.

[Bobby Kelly]

You stole my business.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I took your business.

[Bobby Kelly]

You took it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So we'll watch a little Corey Felmer and then just let us know. Black Lew, if a girl calls up because she wants to sit on her phone while we. Bobby, Definitely you're gonna make her come. Listen. Wowzy. Wow, the Z's are good. Wow. They'll come by that point. Probably.

[Bobby Kelly]

We just made a kangaroo come in Australia.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably because that kangaroo was sitting on a cell phone. Girl, stop being frigid.

[Bobby Kelly]

8, 6 6, 6, 9, 6, 9. 1969.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gave too many numbers.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did not. 9, 8, 6, 6.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no 9 up front.

[Bobby Kelly]

8, 6, 8, 8, 6. Dude, I have dyslexia. Don't do that. I don't want to call hr. Dude, Seriously, I have dyslexia.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's not a nine next to it, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have adhd. I have number dysphoria. And I don't need this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have plantar's fasciitis, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have. I have a bad toe. And I don't need your horseshit today. Well, you don't need to say it if you're listening on the app, because you just tap the app. That was the next thing I was gonna say. On the app. You tap the app. How easy is that? Get the app, people. Get the app. If you want to listen to us in a very new functioning way where you can just call in anytime you want, push a button, bang, app it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I want to do it live, where we make somebody come through their cell phone on speaker while they're sitting on it. But just in case, for the app, listers at home and just kind of loop that. Just kind of loop.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, let me ask you a question. Does it have to be girls?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No guy's gonna come from that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No girl's gonna either, but isn't that hotter? Bobby, I've spent all weekend trying to make guys come. Can I please?

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, dude, this is a problem with me. I don't think sometimes you just got into the sphere. And I know the first week of being in the sphere, you have to make a lot of guys come.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Buddy, I am drowned. I'm up to my neck. And guys come right now. Important men, by the way.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, of course.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, people that you thought were dead. Chomsky.

[Bobby Kelly]

Chomsky. No Chomsky, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chomsky.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have no idea who Chomsky is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Came on my chest. I know I'm in the biblical sense. Maybe I'm not familiar with his work.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that what they call it when you come a chompsky?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude. He chompskyed all over my tits. Corey Feldman says one week from now, you will get a chance to hear my Magnus Opus. Is it Magnus Opus?

[Jacob]

Magnum Opus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm pretty sure it's Magnum Opus.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it Magnus? Magnum.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think it's Magnum.

[Christine]

It autocorrects corrects to Magnum when you type in Magnus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, poor guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What a dummy. He's written it wrong so many times, it stopped correcting him. Chance to hear my Magnus Opus called characters. And a few short. And a few short weeks later, you will get to experience the 3D Dolby Atmos version. Okay, so here's a look at me producing that amazing Atmos version at Sugar Studios, la, as I direct the Shred solo. Christine, play this, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, see on that one you can play and swirl it around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I see. That's cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

So this is where it's at, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I see.

[Bobby Kelly]

So do you want to do like kind of back, right corner, front left? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Straight to that corner, you know? You know.

[Jacob]

You think the bass is drowning out my vocals, you know, you heard him, Nick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, so he's doing the Dolby thing. So he's trying to tell you where he wants the sound to hit the room. Because he's that guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, a real.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to do fling over here and then have it zigzag over there and down to the flim flume.

[Jacob]

He sounds exactly like Josh Black.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lou, take a break. Over there you get inundated with women who want to come through a cell phone. There is a lovely lady calling, but she wanted to say that she's not gonna sit on her phone. Okay. In her car.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But the vibration that you guys are doing is actually coming through the speakers and shaking her seat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Make her come.

[Bobby Kelly]

It might. It might. If we have a couple more people add into it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, guys, we need you. We need you in a car right here. Okay? So we're gonna do our best. Everybody, this is Trish in New Jersey. My aunt Trish and Trish.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not aunt Trish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, you're definitely an aunt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you're not aunt Trish. And Trish would sit on her phone for me.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you're definitely an aunt. And you definitely smoked in your 20s. That's true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

My type of girl right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Turn your speakers up. We're ready to rock your Toyota Camry, zombie.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love a little raspy laugh. Ready? Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's go. I'm gonna squirt everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

How about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Trish? Multiple orgasms or what? Yeah, multiple orgasms.

[Bobby Kelly]

No orgasms, but serious tingles. It is tingle, really.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like that.

[Jacob]

If you're covered and cum, you're not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Getting with this guy, if you wanted to know. Trish, how old are you?

[Bobby Kelly]

62. Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

62.

[Bobby Kelly]

But you know to fucking. We made a 60 year old vagina feel something. Yeah, that's fucking great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's still dry though.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not dry. It's not dry. Is it dry? Is it wet? Did we get a little juice going? Yeah, it's a little tingly. Oh, I like that. I'm a senior citizen. Is the government attacking you, Trish?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The government's not Trying to attack you, are they? No, no, I'm very safe. Government. She's in Jersey. She's not afraid of the Canadian government.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you in Jersey, honey?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you, Trish.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I am. Bye, guys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't crash your car.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stop by Jay's new house. The. The. I'll give you the address. It's 714 Thomas Road.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

69. 69 Something Drive.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't get that. I need weight. Oh, 69. Oh, you're a dirty girl. You want a little more ch. Oh, you minx. You're insatiable. Some.

[Bobby Kelly]

We need everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, good call, Lou. Throw the word. Throw their name in there. That gets them going even more. Oh, we know that for the next time. We do that for next time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bye, sweetie. Thanks for calling in. Anybody else, please call in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, there's 50 girls waiting on the line and talk to us right now. How many, Lou? Am I right? 50. Am I overestimating? No, we have zero. Zero. Okay, so I overestimated a little bit. I saw. I thought there was 50.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us. Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in. You don't need a trade in. When you switch to T Mobile, we'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus we'll help you pay off your old Phone up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it. There's always a trade in.

[Jacob]

Not right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

@ T Mobile. I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma. That's okay. I don't really have much in my purse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, let's see.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hand sanitizer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's lavender. I'm good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Seriously.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me check this pocket.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, mints. Really, I'm fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I have raisins.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a mom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car. It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile. Get a new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple intelligence on us. No trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up.

[Bobby Kelly]

To 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits. New line, 100 plus a month on experience beyond finance agreement. $999.99 and qualify. Imported for well qualified, plus tax and $10 connection charge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Payout via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits and balance due if you pay off earlier.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cancel CT mobile dot com. Imagine being out at the lake, having a fantastic day. The grill's on, the family's there, the dogs barking. It's beautiful. But guess what? Now imagine you smell. You got body odor that stinks. Well. Dove Men plus Care Whole Body Dio helps keep your BO from ruining the good days. From pits to privates to feet, you can feel confident with 72 hour protection in all your ODA zones. Dove men Whole Body do goes on instantly dry with an aluminum free vitamin E infused formula with Whole Body freshness and care. Dove Men plus Care Whole Body do get everywhere. Everywhere care even down there. Find it on Amazon or at Target today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guys. You know running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need and they're all so expensive and since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo. That's what. Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software so you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it, right? But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's o d o o.com odoo.com hey.

[Bobby Kelly]

Putting off that dream trip because you're nervous about not speaking the language? Don't sweat it. Babbel has got your back. Start speaking a new language with confidence thanks to Babbel's conversation based techniques that quickly teaches you useful words and phrases about things you can actually talk about in real world. Babbel's tips tools for learning a new language are approachable and accessible. It's like having a private tutor right in your pocket. Check this out. Babble's games are so fun. I love to play the games. Look, I'm a child at heart. It just makes it easier for me and it's fun way to learn sentence building and spelling reinforcements. It's so cool. I want to learn Italian because I'm taking my family to Italy and I want to be able to talk to people and go to restaurants and feel like a little Smoothness. Like I know what I'm doing when I get there. Because there's nothing worse. When I was in Cuba and I didn't know how to speak the language a hurricane rolled in, all I knew how to say was queso and gracias. You know what? Next time I go there, that's not going to happen with Babel. Learn another language. Babel is gifting our listeners 55% off [e-mail] Bonfire get up to 55% off babbel.com Bonfire spelled B A B, B, E L babel.com Bonfire rules and restrictions may apply.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I could have sworn you said you held up 5. 0. Was it just the O? Was the other hand just being a regular hand? Were you just saying zero? And this was just a hand because I read that as 50. Happy June 2, aka Happy Secret Surprise. 22 day. What is today special? Because it's the second day of the sixth month, making it a double 22 day. So I'm here with some big updates, up dates on my upcoming single characters. Read all about what I have in store for this summer here. I can't wait. He celebrates 50 years in entertainment. Oh, oh, look. They have him as a little Tommy from the Friday the 13th movie with his bald head.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think that. I think he's been faking it. All this crazy shit. I think he's. I think it's all. I think it's all a wrestling move.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you're wrong. He's a retard. But this is. He's. He's genuinely a retarded guy. But this is great. Go back up to that picture.

[Bobby Kelly]

How are you going to be. I don't. With him if you keep calling him a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're past that. We're beyond that. But this is crazy. This is gonna. This song's called Characters.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't realize. It's about his characters he's played. And you know this guy, when he writes a song about something, he doesn't use any metaphor. I remember when I was on the set of Friday 13th and then the guy who played Jason was really nice. Stand By Me was pretty crazy. Wil Wheaton became a nerd.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dracula movie too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The Lost Boys was super fun. Hanging out with Corey Haim.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got in the Bum by Charlie Sheen.

[Jacob]

Inspired by the Beatles. He said, what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why is that crazy, you guys?

[Jacob]

It's not crazy to me. I know he is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, listen, you got to work within what the notes you can hit. And clearly he's a Beatles.

[Bobby Kelly]

Isn't this soda's new special coming out next year. Characters.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, it's a race to get it out.

[Jacob]

This is coming out in five days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

So it's just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember when I was in the Goonies? That was crazy. Sloth was fun. He writes a song about something. It's about something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now he's Bob Kelly's lawyer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He just has no. He has no nuance at all. You go, hey, write a song about heartbreak. You broke my heart. Now I'm sad living here, heartbroken.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you write a song about love?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure. Love is great. Love is grand. Makes me happy all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

What about Christmas? You have any Christmas songs?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christmas time is coming up. Fruitcake presents. Santa Claus. All your family with a tree, decorations.

[Bobby Kelly]

What about the war?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The war going on. Israel bad. Both sides could be wrong. All right. Why don't we just bring him home? Stop the fight. This is the album. Yeah. He really is just. He's on the nose. The song. He goes. He wrote a trip. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Please play. Remember 222. That's the. This is him about him and Corey Haim.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is you. What you were just doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. We would stay up past dark. We would sneak some booze.

[Bobby Kelly]

When is this from? When the show was going on? The two Corys?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, after he died.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, this is after he died, huh? This is after he died. Now, let me ask you a question. The two Coreys. I remember watching the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I knew it was crazy. A crazy show. But he was singing at that time, too, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, but he's been singing.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was in a band, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, there's no band.

[Bobby Kelly]

But when he was singing at that time. I know it's bad, but was it as bad as it became later on?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's always horrific.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was the. What was the music he was singing at that time when he was on that show?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can you find that. That one Christine of him? This is what's up with the youth, which is pretty terrible. You can play this one.

[Bobby Kelly]

What about when he was on one on that show, though? This is before the show. That was before the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. This is before that, right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Early 90s. That's when girls were girls. Look at them. Just naked. In of years, a couple crowd.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was Howard Stern show?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, can we get a bunch of naked girls to show up and just do a show?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure. That was the Howard Stern show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the best show. Channel 9.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what this is. This is Channel 9.

[Bobby Kelly]

Saturday night.

[Jacob]

So good.

[Bobby Kelly]

I got it in Boston. We used to watch it all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I watched it. It was on PHL 17.

[Bobby Kelly]

So good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's up with the youth? What's up with the. He forgets all I know. Howard Stern's kind of doing his dance with him. He's always been terrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that. Look at that old white guy, the coach.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And to the left, they also have a black midget next to him, there's.

[Bobby Kelly]

An old guy with his shirt tucked. He looks like he coaches little league peewee football.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he really. He's been terrible since the very beginning at music, so. But Christine find that video, though, of him, like, it was like him and his friends in the house, like, they had to like, learn a whole routine for him to sing to. Remember that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I remember him singing, but I remember it not being good, but I remember being as bad as it became.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. No, it's just what it is. It turns out if you take a piece of shit and produce it with high tech equipment.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Still just a piece of shit with a bunch of fucking bleeps and blops.

[Bobby Kelly]

On it, it doesn't turn into a diamond.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It does not.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was just. Still a piece of shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. If you smush down and compress it, it's just a little smaller piece of shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, this is not. This is the. That. This is one of my favorite all. I've watched this thousands of times.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've seen that. That I'm talking about when he was on the Two Coreys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This. When he was on two Coreys. He was not putting music out where you were like, seeing videos and stuff like that didn't exist.

[Bobby Kelly]

It wasn't the one episode. Didn't he sing on one of the episodes?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

He had a concert and they certainly probably. I'm pretty sure, but I don't remember it sticking out. Like, oh, this guy's a tool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, he's my favorite starting dancing dude, Corey Feldman. Starting dancing is the best thing ever Goes. Are you guys ready? Pow. Bing. Bow. Just like starts going. God bless him. And no one's reacting in the audience. They're watching it like he's on a screen.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a comedy club though, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the improv.

[Bobby Kelly]

They must be losing their mind. Like, what the is happening right now?

[Jacob]

Supposed to host and he just did a song.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at this lady.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's fake. They plug that in there. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Strong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Something gets me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, he's wearing the Other country's president's jacket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he also forgets all the medals.

[Bobby Kelly]

And self promoted military things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He also just forgets that the microphone's supposed to be near his face when you're lip syncing.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's in the gay military.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. This guy's an admiral in the gavey.

[Bobby Kelly]

The gave me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stick it back. You flip your. God damn. Isn't it funny the recorded music these lip sync drinking to is equally as shitty as if he's saying it live. He can't get a good recording of it either. But did you find the other one Christina's talking about?

[Christine]

I don't think so. I'm looking through.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a bunch of his friends. Look at him like dancing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Couldn't they fix that and post that video? Like sure make. They just didn't. No, for the TV show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, when it was on, it was good on your tv. You forget. Try at your best to watch an episode of like Cosby show or something. It still has like that snow just like built in like snow over the picture because it wasn't ready for high def shit at all. So like it's fun. You never realize that when you watch TV at night you were getting the best pictures. Remember to go bad and you have to go fucking touch an antenna or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So it's like network TV was always terrible reception.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. We just didn't know it because we.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Didn'T now just what it was supposed to be. I didn't care. Sometimes I would just watch a TV show that had. We call them ghosts on them. They would just be like the same thing happened because it's just like being presented weird. So it'd have like a trail of like the people.

[Bobby Kelly]

50 was it 56 and 38, which was fox. The other, the, the other Networks, it was NBC, ABC, CBS.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then I had 56 and 38.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well then they did 56 and Fox. Before Fox came, we had 19 or I'm sorry, 17 and 57. And those became UPN WB channels, which.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, UPN channels, which is like AM radio type thing. But those were worse than network. That was like Creature Double Feature wrestling was on 58. Wrestling.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here it is, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think this is it. With his friends. Yes, this is it. Oh, put this out on social media immediately. Corey Feldman, young top of the world. This is Lost boys time.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you imagine he's like, hey guys, if you want to do my coke and stay at my unfurnished house, then you're gonna have to learn these dance moves with me.

[Bobby Kelly]

My carpeted, floored house. Wall to wall carpet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Hey guys, pay no attention to my dial thermostat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Even in the bathroom. This carpet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe. Dude, if you're gonna like want everything to have dancing in it. Can you hang out with a black friend instead of having. He's trying to make his white friends have the lack of rhythm he has.

[Bobby Kelly]

Has got a black guy right there. Or did he just make a white guy turn into a black guy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's supposed to be Michael Jackson molesting him. Is there other. Is there a lot of stuff playing? Is that Christine?

[Bobby Kelly]

I can't tell if it's horrible or there's two things. Oh yeah, that's buddies, man.

[Jacob]

Imagine that. We didn't real. We didn't know whether it was this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Song or this song.

[Jacob]

Whether it was double audio.

[Christine]

I thought that was this.

[Bobby Kelly]

No idea.

[Christine]

Totally my bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, by the way, bust it open. Let him go. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know how embarrassed these other people are now?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

These other guys in this video are so. They. Their kids are like, dad, is this you? He's like, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, embarrassed now. They're oh no, no. I tell the kid, oh, dude, he had the best coke, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He had the best coke.

[Bobby Kelly]

That kid in the glasses is like, why did he get me to do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This and the black guy, the adult who's there is the coke dealer for sure.

[Christine]

By the way, this is listed as a short film.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course it is well used because you know why he did that? His Thriller is called a short film.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is his Thriller.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this is Thriller.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think he was yelling at the white guy in the red sweatshirt? Cuz he wasn't get the moves right. How many times you think he yelled at him? Cut. Listen, man, I only have one more tape left. We need to get this Corey filming.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Out of most jobs.

[Christine]

Yeah, I was just thinking that he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Had a nose job. That's a totally different face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at this guy over to the right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's supposed to be the zombies.

[Bobby Kelly]

What about the guy behind him in the yellow shirt who has no acting abilities?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he just got a dude. That guy. That guy actually needs coke to study. Thorn in the Yellow. He's the guys I really just needed to study.

[Jacob]

I never picked up that this was him directly ripping off Thriller. We're all doing Thriller moves without the. The production makeup or rhythm or time or anything else. Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or cohesiveness or ability to dance.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did he make him move all the furniture out of the room, or do you think they had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no, that's what the place looks like.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's it. Unfurnished.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He doesn't have a TV because it gets in the way of his music videos he makes every night with his dumb fucking cokehead friends. By the way, every guy in this. His pants are so. The jeans are so tight in the top. That's really hugging their dicks and balls.

[Bobby Kelly]

I miss those days. Yeah, it's kind of a similar style of dance because we grew up dancing together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he definitely got a nose job.

[Christine]

He says he's had no plastic surgery, but, I mean, his nose is, like, thin.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine. He also thinks he sings good. Well, Michael Jackson had a nose job, so. So did he. Yeah, he's delusional.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He definitely got a nose job for sure. And good for him. It looks much better. Good job, Corey. Good job on the nose job. I don't know. Now I'm looking at it now. I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe not.

[Jacob]

I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

He might have not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did his face just grow around it finally?

[Jacob]

Yeah, he might have just a baby.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a baby face. Maybe he just became a man. I think he just became a man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh. Because now it looks like his face is shrinking and his nose is looking big again. God, he was an elf.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whoa, whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let him go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have Bobby. A story to tell you. That's pretty nutty.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wonder if I should after the break.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Christine]

Do you guys want to see anything else on his Twitter?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, what else? He's got non stop all day spying.

[Christine]

From my account because bonfires. Wait, what? No.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? Oh, did you get blocked? Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Christine]

I've got to be back on. Hold on, let me switch back. There's no way.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that'd be great if he knows who you are.

[Jacob]

No, he definitely knows the show because I. I kick myself every day that I had. He changed the. The album cover because of. I. I pointed out he put every mishmash during COVID on the one of his album covers, and it was a guy holding up a sign saying I cannot. I cannot breathe instead of I can't breathe. I pointed it out and then they corrected the album covered.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. And I can't breathe.

[Jacob]

Kick myself for not getting it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have the version. I have the version that says I cannot breathe.

[Jacob]

You have that for real?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Double alb. Double alb.

[Jacob]

Dude, that's a collector's item to me. Priceless. Priceless.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe it shows up in your life, Jacob. Who knows?

[Bobby Kelly]

Surprising. You caught that? Not Jay.

[Jacob]

I. Bobby. I mean, you couldn't not see it. It was just. Oh, he wrote, I cannot breathe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is why I'm still alive. Being a dad was God's greatest gift to me. That's my boy. Now my boy is all grown up. Isn't he? Like, up?

[Christine]

No, he's just. I don't know. Just seems like it's kind of an asshole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Horus Eisen. No, horse. Horus Eisen.

[Christine]

Horus Eisen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Horse Eisen.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's on his nose?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come.

[Bobby Kelly]

And first of all, that was a tough time of his life because he has a black fridge. Yeah, that's just a old black fridge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. No, this kid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Freezer on top.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This kid didn't grow up with his dad.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's on the fridge? I always like to look on people's fridges. What is on there? Zoom in on the fridge. See what he's got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Coupons, a birthday party invitation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Zen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We need to get in much closer than that. I need us. I need this right now. I have to see what's on.

[Jacob]

Corey always had the hottest girl. Susie Feldman was so hot to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. Watch them all change. That says nipples. Christine, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's his job. What's on it? Yeah, go over. What's that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, $1 off.

[Bobby Kelly]

$1 off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A $1 off coupon for. It looks like burger.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a turkey thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no.

[Christine]

Celebrate.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no.

[Christine]

Celebrate turkeys. Yeah, look, it's a turkey. It says celebrate turkey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Celebrate turkeys, but $1 off. Is this a Boston market?

[Bobby Kelly]

It might be like a Panera, maybe. Panera.

[Christine]

It says Tofurkey.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tofurkey.

[Jacob]

Although he is a vegetarian.

[Bobby Kelly]

Vegan, remember?

[Jacob]

He's a vegan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A coupon for smoothies and more. A punch card. Two postcard invitations to something. Save $2 on. It looks like maybe like a Lipton.

[Bobby Kelly]

I smoothie punch cards, by the way, one on top of the other.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, wow, look at that.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's it say on the top? Manifesto Wednesday. Manifesto.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wild Manifesto. Health is mostly. That's just a fun little. That's just a fun little sticker every. Oh, no, that wasn't a birthday. Good. That's Zen. Feldman was a super student on that day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, what day was it? 1999.

[Christine]

No, 2014.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like I said, 2014.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

2014. 11 years ago. Horace Eyes is in.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's awesome.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good for you, Zen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I think he's a mess right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is he?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I Think his life's falling apart or something, Right? Didn't him and didn't Corey Feldman and his wife come on a tv? Yes, they did a zoom. And they were like, he's off the rails. He's all, we don't know where he's at. And he's. And then it's like. Then he just shows up. Wrapping places.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to see him now.

[Jacob]

He's now covered in tattoos.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Horus Eisen, Susie Feldman.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the old wife.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she looks busted.

[Bobby Kelly]

So that kid is. That kid's from the Hot wife.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow, he really got all of Feldman on that one, huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She aged now it's a fish.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's official. She's. She's. Oof.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's the Florida chick now.

[Jacob]

She looks like a biker chick now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the. Is Corey Helman, Artist, the man behind the love? He put out something after my truth. The Rape of Two Corys. Oh, how dare you. Oh, how dare you. My truth. This guy slide a documentary past me. You.

[Bobby Kelly]

You've been in the Sphere. Dude, the Sphere doesn't deal with Corey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Around in the Sphere.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is this gonna with your sphere coming back out and doing this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. You sure? Not at all. You think Feld Dog's in the Sphere? No issues.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, he's not in the Sphere. But are you supposed to be around this type of stuff while you're in the Sphere?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I step out of the Sphere to do this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the bonfire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'm sorry. You can't be in the Sphere and the bonfire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You wouldn't even be able to hear me from the Sphere.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can't stand you. Makes me sick. I'm not in the Sphere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I just came here all sphered up, it'd be freaky.

[Bobby Kelly]

I should be in the Sphere. Make a call this weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm here for it. Oh, wait. What? Protest. What? What the fuck's happening? This is Corey Feldman's post. I'm here for it. Oh, wait. What Protest? No Comeback King Wednesday. Oh, Jesus. He's trying to fucking throw the no Kings thing. No Comeback Kings.

[Jacob]

By promoting his own work. Oh, that's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the fuck? Just kidding. You know, love everybody and just want all of us to stand together as love and light Peace and love. Make love, not war.

[Christine]

Hashtag love and life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me start over. I'm here for it. Oh, wait, What Protest. Hashtag no Comebacking. Went no Comeback Kingsday. What the. Just kidding. You know, love everybody and just want all of us to stand together as hashtag love and light. Hashtag peace and love. Hashtag make love, not war. God bless us all. I mean the whole globe. We all need some God right about now. Hashtag one true king. Hashtag Lord have mercy. Damn, what an idiot. How much time he has on his hands. Oh, Happy Friday the 13th from Tommy Jarvis with love. Yeah, remember it was bald little Tommy Jarvis. Tommy Jarvis, yeah.

[Christine]

Well, I guess a new song's coming out in a couple days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember when I was in Friday 13th? Jason was scary. Camp Crystal Lake.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then I went on. I was in the gremlins for 15 minutes. Remember me in the beginning?

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have anything about Jay Okerson from the bonfire?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jay Okinstein is really fat and really mean and he can't dance.

[Christine]

Look at his. His Brian Wilson thing. He has to point out more sad news.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So sad to say, yet another rock legend has passed. And with him, a sound and a generation of Cali beach music. My hashtag love and heart goes out to the Wilsons, who I'm close with Daria and Carney and Mark and London, who's part of their fam. Now, let's say this Carney Wilson, fat, got it together, posed in Playboy, look great, and then went back right to fat.

[Bobby Kelly]

But why does it say FOX News? What is that? What does it have to do with.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Any of this news?

[Bobby Kelly]

It says, hashtag RIP Brian Wilson dash FOX News. Good God, what is that? Why is that even a hashtag?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know them. What a jag off.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, there's enough negativity in the world. Brian Wilson looks like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Man, Carney Wilson looked good in that photo shoot, huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

Please look like Brendan Sagalo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He really does.

[Bobby Kelly]

He looks like Brandon Sagla. Does he?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Connie Wilson looks so good. And she was so fat before. Yeah, she was so fat before. No, she went right back to fat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I see that? Is that her naked?

[Christine]

Yeah, that's Playboy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Playboy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. I didn't see that little beaver she got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, listen, she got together for this shoot and then went immediately back to fat.

[Bobby Kelly]

She has a nice little tiny little V beaver.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, they're covering a lot up, too. She's definitely all stretched, marked up, and you couldn't come down from the size she was.

[Bobby Kelly]

How fat was she?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't remember in the Wilson Phillips video when she folded up the tree on top of the hill?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you know things will change.

[Bobby Kelly]

Things like calm your way, you know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A helicopter or a donkey brought to the top of that mountain. They were placed there.

[Bobby Kelly]

They had to put her on a Poor doggy. And it snapped its back. They had to eat it at the top of the hill. They just got up there and she was eating one of its legs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Girls, girls. It's the donkey or us. Don't worry, I'll kill it and cook it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's only a little 10 minutes down the hill. You fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, look at her. No way, dude. She was. She was craned up there, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a hundred percent no way she hiked up to the. The top.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you know things have changed.

[Bobby Kelly]

What happened to that one with the short hair?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

China? She's still hot, I think.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is she?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think so. I think she held up hot.

[Jacob]

So hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

She got a big nose. She's got a big. They all have big schnauz, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Quietly. She was pretty cute, the curly hair one. But no one gave a about her. All you talk about is the hottest and the fattest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, look at the schnauzes on them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you know, don't you know? This song probably at one point meant everything in the world to Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She couldn't wait to be fat on a beach and sing this.

[Christine]

No, I really didn't want to be the fat one though. I didn't want to be the fat one, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the everything like that that people do with like Legion of Skanks. Particularly when they go, oh, look, it's the Legion of Skanks. And they're just pointing at three other people. You all always know which one they mean is me. That hurts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Always.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They go, hey, look, it's Legion Skanks. I go, so I guess I'm the fat one. Okay, which one's Lewis? Bald.

[Bobby Kelly]

It makes me sad that they did a beach thing. And when she went to wardrobe that day for the video shoot, it was just a big. All her clothes are covering everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God. No matter what. Yeah. They're like, okay, here's your beach cape, full button up shirt, long sleeve and thick jeans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. The other ones have all these little nice little clothes on. She's. Look at this one. She's dressed like a lawyer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. When you think card that fat tub of. Listen, I'm talking to you. Wardrobe, before the girls get here. When you think of Carney, think layers. Yeah, yeah, lots of layers. Look at that. She dressed like Sam Kinison. They dressed Carney Wilson like Sam Kinison.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, look at her. But look her on the beach, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's standing in the jacket, she's Sam Kinison outfit. All right, all right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guarantee they ixnate her, covering her with sand and making her into a hot mermaid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, all right, how about you girls are in bikinis and we bury Carney up to her and up to her neck and sand.

[Bobby Kelly]

God, everyone, she's just black. They had to black her out. And every. Look at that. Shoulder pads, full suit jacket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. Damn, dude, it sucks. And every day. She knew it.

[Jacob]

Christine, did you cry when they came out at the end of Bride Bridesmaids?

[Christine]

I didn't cry, but I was really excited about it. Yeah, I was really excited. They made a thing about that song and then they were there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I never saw the end of Bridesmaids.

[Christine]

They're on. They're on tour. They're doing a reunion tour.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they're the ones still hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

The blonde.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you know what? Maybe Courtney Wilson's not a big fat big anymore. I could be wrong. Which one? Cigar in that picture, she's the one.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's the middle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Let's see. They'll bring them on YouTube performing now. Okay, the most recent performance.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We'll see if this tub of was able to turn it around.

[Christine]

Weight limit at this party.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, don't you know things have changed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tell you what, those naked photos of her are pretty. She's pretty cute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got that episode. That episode. I got that issue when again, I might go correct myself.

[Jacob]

Don't worry, she's wearing that thing in the. What do they call that bustier?

[Bobby Kelly]

Just let. Let it go. Nobody cares. If we up a word here and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There now, you'd be surprised.

[Bobby Kelly]

We don't care. Nobody cares.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What happened?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you what happened. She ate her face off.

[Christine]

Maybe this is 10 months ago. Maybe she lost some weight since then.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nah, dude, look at. She has the fat dance with one knee up, one knee down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like she swallowed a tire. But, like, side.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think the other girls are like, oh, she. They're surprised too, when she shows up. What are we gonna get? This is how you're supposed to look at. I think. I haven't seen her in, like eight months. I hope. I hope we're going on tour. I mean, you look good. I look. You look good, dude. And she walks in just eating a burger. Hey, girls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, what if they were shooting her and they were like, hey, guess which of the three of us posed naked before? Nope, Nope.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why wouldn't they put her in that old fat suit that they had her in the first video?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because you don't have to be ashamed anymore. Now she's brave.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to. Whatever that is you should do, you know? Oh, me, dude, she's going out in the front.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her stomach starts like Peter Griffin. Like it goes like right to her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She has alcoholic white guy stomach.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you know? She's built like Bert.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that Bert? That might be Bert.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like Carney Wilson.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no, it sucks. Look at her. But she has a button down shirt. And the top, the bottom buttons are like screaming for help. Oh, my God, look at those bottom buttons. God damn it.

[Jacob]

Just.

[Bobby Kelly]

She has. She has that neck too, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Bijou Phillips. Look at Bijou Phillips commenting. Look at her signing in after her husband's in prison forever.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's gonna just be fat. You can't be. You can't be that. You either have to say it. Just go be fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's weird. So be. Oh, because the sister's on there too. That's right. B.G. phillips, the sister with the hot one. Her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To hold on for one more day. Oh, is this Call Her Daddy or is that Wilson Phillips? Is that the other girl from Wilson Phillips? Christine. By the way, watch the documentary. You see the documentary on Call Her Daddy? No, on Hulu. No, it's about the girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, no, it's called Call Her Daddy. One woman's journey to take money directly out of the pockets of the bonfire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, directly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine said she watched it and she started to almost like her for a minute and then was like, no, she sucks.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have to pay a Filipino just to get video out on the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's insane.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's 2025 and we have to pay a Filipino. Hey, guys, we need video. It's the truth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you know why I said this to you on the phone the other day about that? We're not talked about on those, like, like all, like the gossipy comedy things because we have no video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're the only podcast slash show operating in that universe that doesn't have video. It's crazy. And we do four shows a week. If we had video out every day, we'd be right in the mix. Conversation about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they'd be telling. They'd be talking about how much we suck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we're not.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They'd be like, these two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They don't even know we exist.

[Bobby Kelly]

They don't even know exist. Which is worse than them going these yammering fatsos.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like being the regular girl. It's like being the redheaded girl from Wilson Phillips.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're not fat enough to be a spectacle. And you're not hot enough to get laid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Let us be the fat of the hot chick. Who got. Who got a strawberry lemonade?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's Wawa strawberry lemonade. Black Lou got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's just diabetes in a thing, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Easy.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Almost juneteenth.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. Sorry, dude, but it's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's this? You want to break me? Take a break. You want to break me like a schw.

[Bobby Kelly]

Take a break.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gonna break me like a twig, Thunder lips. Huh? I'm gonna break him like a twig.

[Bobby Kelly]

Big J is gonna be at the Comedy zone in Charlotte July 11th. On the 12th after that, he'll be in Tacoma, Los Angeles, Sacramento. And for tickets and all the tour dates, please visit bigj comedy.com and go to Punch Up Live bigjokerson. Or just please go to YouTube.com/igjokerson for his specials. They them available now on all things. You can listen and watch things on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go. Yeah, I. I gotta get. I have to come up with a gig in the next three weeks.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you talking about?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta do something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Buddy Dojo of comedy. I'm gonna get it for you this week. What do you want, a Thursday or Wednesday?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, this week I have to do Column's wedding. Bobby Kelly's gonna be at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine, July 25th and 26th. After that, he's gonna be in Rochester, Tampa, and eMouse, Pa. For tickets and all other tour dates, make sure you go to Punch Up Live Robert Kelly. We got a bunch of content up there also. And of course, go to his YouTube page at robert Kelly Comedy. Yeah, See, it's up there and now it's not there.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's up there somewhere there. Right there at Robert Kelly Comedy. Hey, scroll dingbat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Stop taking yawn breaks and doing your hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, look at me. Break.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think ding bat is my favorite word for your chick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a good one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, you dingbat. Where's my egg?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get up off the ground.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then you gotta listen. Here's the greatest part about this. You have a story that you were gonna tell me, and we. We wound up talking. And now we're gonna come back, we're gonna have a big J story, which I'm excited about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I think it's fun. Fun story.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. So tune in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

This episode is brought to you by Huggies Little Movers. It's fun having a baby that loves to move, but it can be challenging to find a diaper that can keep up with them. Huggies Little Movers is designed to move with your baby with either the double.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can be confident relying on Huggies Little Movers for your active little ones. Huggies Little Movers made with double grip strips or the new HugFit 360 degree waistband so your little double can keep moving. Like you Huggies. We got you baby.