The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Episode: Standing On Business
Date: September 2, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Faction Talk, Channel 103

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire finds Jay and Bobby riffing on classic Bonfire territory—brutally honest and hilarious takes on aging, comfort at concerts, and deeply unserious product ideas, all while launching into a loving, wild skewering of reality TV’s “Baddies.” The hosts, joined by regular contributor Christine, bounce between stories from their personal lives, the current state of live music, and a deep-dive into the chaos of contemporary “fight house” reality programming. The recurring throughline is their attempt to decode “Gen Z” and “reality TV” lingo, applying it with relentless, self-deprecating humor to their own lives and comedy careers.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Concert Standing vs. Sitting—Comedian Old Guy Problems

[01:19 – 07:36]

• Jay and Bobby joke about the evolving challenges of standing at concerts as they age.
• Jay’s stamina for standing (“I’ve seen you stand for 13 hours straight!” – Bobby, [02:12]) versus Bobby’s need to sneak away and sit down.
• Discussion of comfortable shoes for concerts (Hoka shoes, Nikes) and the shame/aesthetic trade-off.
  • “I feel like an old man piece of shit when I wear them.” – Bobby, on Hokas [03:05].
• Debate about wearable standing chairs—exoskeleton “invisible chair” products for concert relief.
• Bobby fantasizes about a version “that doesn’t make you look like an asshole,” leading to riffing on 90s JNCOs, pants with built-in chairs, and Jay’s invention for a “butt plug tripod.”
  • Memorable riff: “You get one pole…and then one end is a diagonal, like cut rubber…The other end is attached…[with] a butt plug, and now you are a human tripod.” – Jay [10:18]

2. Pedro Pascal Goes Anxious: Joking About Celebrity Boundaries

[12:00 – 17:43]

• The guys riff on Pedro Pascal’s reported nervous habit of touching women for comfort and Willem Dafoe’s odd behavior at Walk of Fame ceremonies.
• Jay and Bobby elaborate the bit into personal hypotheticals about boundaries, anxiety, and feigned excuses for bad behavior.
• “If I motorboat your wife when I’m nervous, is that okay?” – Jay to Bobby [14:18]
• “Would you rather me have gay sex with your son or have a public freakout?” – Jay [15:43]
• They spiral the premise out until Bobby recalls Dan Natterman complimenting his young son’s body in Aruba—“He’s got a fine torso on this young lad” [17:07]—and apply the “baddies” lingo to their own relationships.

3. “Baddies” Deep Dive: Fight House Reality TV & Slang 101

[17:45 – 43:50]

• The main thrust of the episode is an extended breakdown of the “Baddies” universe on the Zeus Network—a reality show where women physically and verbally fight for dominance and jewelry (“chains”), with Jay as enthusiastic tour guide and Christine providing expert commentary. Subtopics include:
  • The show's structure (house full of women, voting, $50,000 prize).
  • The lingo: “stand on business,” “ten toes down,” “keep it a buck,” “I’mma need that.”
  • “Christine came out of the bathroom and we started scrapping” – Jay [18:42]
  • The absurd extremes of the show’s violence and language, and the cultural differences between American and African/Australian participants.
  • Jay on “Baddies”: “They accomplish nothing.” [23:43]
  • Recaps of specific fights, confessional moments, traumatic wig removals, and chain ceremonies.
  • “Is she the CEO of Baddies?” “She is. Natalie Nunn. None of you small dicks.” [24:36]
  • Discussion about the appeal and psychology of the show, the chaos of hair, makeup, voice loss, and “putting it all on my mama”—the performative pledging of authenticity.
  • “I’m ten toes down. Stand on my business.” [28:13]
  • The drinking game suggestion about taking a shot every time the word “on” is used [27:44].

Notable Quotes:

• “You got to put stuff on your dead father…Yo, I stand on business, I put that on my dead mama.” – Jay [31:02]
• “Why are you explaining fights to me? You don’t think I know how to throw hands?” – Bobby [43:21]

4. Race, Class, and Reality TV—Could You Do “White Trash Baddies”?

[41:07 – 42:58]

• Lively speculation about variants of “Baddies” using white trash, Puerto Rican, or other ethnic archetypes.
• Christine: “White trash girls for sure.” [41:14]
• Jay asserts “trashy” is universal, and a white trash version “would be fantastic.” [41:50]
• The formula: feed them booze, give them no activities, let chaos reign.

5. Comedy Plugs & Finishing Riffs

[43:50 – 45:59]

• Big Jay and Bobby plug their upcoming gigs, with mutual back-patting for ticket sales and a return to the “stand on business” lingo.
• “You’d stand ten toes down though. You stood on business.” – Jay to Bobby about his upstate gigs [44:06]
• Shout out to comics Joe DeRosa and a quick-lived fake memorial.

Highlighted Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Aging and Concerts:
  • “I had to sneak my sits away because I didn’t want to disappoint Jay.” – Bobby [01:58]
• On Footwear:
  • “I feel like an old man piece of shit when I wear them...But Hoka is like walking on pillows.” – Bobby [03:05]
• On Inventions:
  • “Now you are a human tripod and you don’t even need to worry about two poles shooting out. The one’s always running down, connected to your asshole.” – Jay [10:18]
• On “Baddies” Lingo Decoded:
  • “She kept this stack, dude. She kept it a yard. Like, what do you not understand about this lingo?” – Jay [17:58]
• On Reality TV Violence:
  • “Feed them booze and let them, tell them to wear almost no clothes and fucking set them up to fight each other.” – Jay [42:37]
• On Fatherhood Self-Worth:
  • “I’m doing fine. I am a great dad. And Don’s a great mom. We’re great. Everything’s okay.” – Bobby [29:18]
• On “Reality”:
  • "Nothing sexier than a black girl who’s not done up... I kind of like that." – Bobby [36:10]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:19 – 07:36: Standing at concerts, comfort vs. cool, exoskeleton chair riff
• 10:15 – 11:40: Jay’s “human tripod”/butt plug chair invention
• 12:00 – 17:43: Pedro Pascal riff, comic boundaries
• 17:45 – 43:50: “Baddies” breakdown—structure, personalities, slang, fight recaps, cultural dynamics
• 41:14 – 42:58: Discussion of “white trash” or other “Baddies” spin-offs
• 43:50 – 45:59: Comedy road dates and plugs, “ten toes down” lingo

Conclusion

In classic Bonfire fashion, Jay and Bobby blend comic invention, confessional humor, and exuberant breakdowns of the trashiest in reality TV, all while applying “street” lingo with the earnest confusion of two middle-aged white guys. The episode delivers on the show's promise: no-holds-barred laughs, camaraderie, and a gently unhinged look into modern pop culture—and, as always, a few lines that’ll stick with you in the best (and worst) way.

Noteworthy for fans of: inside-comedy life, reality TV mechanics, new slang of the streets, and the perils of aging on the live event circuit.