Subway Bris

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode Title: Subway Bris
Date: December 30, 2025
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Platform: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire takes listeners on a raucous, freewheeling ride through the hosts’ irreverent takes on New York street life, public hygiene, Jewish culture, concert antics, and, of course, their favorite subject—big, swinging, culturally-specific breasts. The crew blends stand-up level comedy banter with candid talk about tradition, family, and the perpetual hunt for a good laugh (and, maybe, a heavy-titted soulmate). The title "Subway Bris" sets the tone—expect stories that are deeply New York, deeply Jewish, and deeply inappropriate… in all the best ways.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Open Jams, Bad Impressions, and Studio Antics

• The episode starts with impromptu singing and jokes about eating on air—a running gag after trucker “JD” called to complain (01:12).
• Bobby and Jay attempt, and fail, at doing Trump impressions, sending themselves into fits of laughter (03:09).

Quote:
“Neither one of us can do a Trump. We don’t... try it... let me hear yours.”
—Bobby Kelly, [03:09]

2. Jewish Superhero Jokes & the Mysterious Subway Bag

• Jay pokes fun at Jacob’s “Jewish superhero outfit” in his backpack, suggesting side gigs like “Subway Circumcisions” and the fictional "Subway Bris" web series (04:04).
• Christine steers the conversation toward outrageous hygiene stories on the NYC subway, triggering one of the wildest segments.

Quote:
“Are you doing Subway Bris? Your new web series, Subway Bris with Jacob Batat.”
—Big Jay Oakerson, [04:18]

3. The Subway Poop Pole Video: Scatological Showstopper

• The crew launches into a disturbing viral video review: a (possibly homeless) man smearing his bare, unwashed butt on subway poles late at night (05:06–08:48).
• Everyone debates the mechanics, gross-out factor, and public hygiene implications, tying it back to subway cleaning standards.

Quote:
“He takes his pants down all the way, stands up on the chair... opening his asshole and smushing his asshole up and down the pole… It’s like ash juice!”
—Bobby Kelly, [07:15, 07:49]

• Discussion spins off to the realities (or myths) of subway sanitization, with references to spotless Japanese trains and an impromptu WWII Japan vs China riff (10:46–11:56).

4. Japanese vs Chinese Porn “Bush” Debate

• In classic Bonfire fashion, the group evaluates the aesthetic differences between Japanese and Chinese porn actresses, especially relating to pubic hair (“bush”) and archetypes (11:56–13:47).
• Jay reminisces about an infamous Ed Powers porn video involving an accidental fart—his “favorite” teenage porn outtake, which the group attempts to find online.

Quote:
“Japanese girls… always like super pale skin, schoolgirl look… Chinese are just hot in like a regular old Chinese way.”
—Big Jay Oakerson, [13:09]

5. Concert Culture: Dua Lipa & Old-Guy Moves at MSG

• Lou describes attending a mega Dua Lipa concert at Madison Square Garden, where everyone—except him—came dressed in lingerie (14:43–15:08).
• The show turns into a dance contest as the hosts challenge Lou to show off his “bop dance,” riff on feeling ancient among Gen Z fans, and describe Dua Lipa’s “pencil sharpener” moves (18:10–21:07).

Quote:
“You were dancing like an old woman.”
—Bobby Kelly to Lou, [19:18]

6. Religion, Synagogue Safety, and Jewish Guilt

• Christine prepares to leave early, sparking a round-robin of questions about her synagogue trip, what she’s carrying (“Is that the Torah?”), and security anxieties given recent tensions (23:08–24:31).
• The hosts lampoon Christine’s desire to “go incognito” at temple, offer (fake) limo rides, and muse on synagogue escape routes and etiquette for ogling “fine Jewish asses.”
• The conversation gets real about nervousness for Jews in places of worship due to geopolitical conflict ([29:33]).

7. Jewish Tits: Stereotypes, Comparisons, and Comic Anthropology

• Jay and Bobby launch into a prolonged, riff-heavy deconstruction of “big Jewish tits”—their markers, areolas, gravity, and how they compare to Israeli vs. American Jewish women (31:14–34:33).
• The banter edges into WWII history, blending dark humor with sexual anthropology and their own family memories.

Quote:
“Even if a girl has big tits when she’s Jewish in America, big tits at 18 years old, they already look like tits of a 42 year old.”
—Big Jay Oakerson, [33:48]

8. Family, Grief, and Jewish Ritual

• As Christine heads off to synagogue to mark her late father’s memorial, the crew shifts tone, showing support and affection for her family ties and hesitation about religious tradition (36:34–41:14).
• The show closes with encouragement to “find a heavy-titted woman to love you, buddy,” bookending the episode’s blend of camaraderie, crude comedy, and heart.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Subway Hygiene:
  “He takes his pants down all the way, stands up on the chair... opening his asshole and smushing his asshole up and down the pole… It’s like ash juice!”
  —Bobby Kelly, [07:15, 07:49]

• On Japanese vs. Chinese Porn:
  “Japanese girls… always like super pale skin, schoolgirl look… Chinese are just hot in like a regular old Chinese way.”
  —Big Jay Oakerson, [13:09]

• On “Big Jewish Tits”:
  “Even if a girl has big tits when she’s Jewish in America, big tits at 18 years old, they already look like tits of a 42 year old.”
  —Big Jay Oakerson, [33:48]

• On Temple Security Risks:
  “Why would anybody do something terrible inside of a synagogue?”
  —Big Jay Oakerson, [29:30]

  “Both of them. Palestinians and the Jews. Let’s push ‘em out.”
  —Big Jay Oakerson, [29:44]

• On Friendship and Tradition:
  “The bonfire is always with me.”
  —Christine, [42:24]

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Memorable Moments & Callbacks

• The utterly disgusting—but weirdly clinical—“subway ass juice” discussion, which morphs into a treatise on mass transit cleanliness.
• Jay and Bobby’s comedic anthropological breakdown of “Jewish tit” physiology, tied into global and historical context.
• The ongoing (futile) quest to find both an obscure porn video and an old movie about an Italian woman seducing a mentally challenged neighbor.
• Lou dancing at the Dua Lipa concert and the crew begging Christine to secretly snap “heavy Jewish tit” photos at synagogue (34:39).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Eating on Air & Trump Impressions: [01:12] – [03:30]
• Jew Superhero/“Subway Bris”: [04:04] – [04:18]
• Subway Ass-Pole Story: [05:06] – [08:48]
• Japanese vs. Chinese Porn Bush Debate: [11:56] – [13:47]
• Lou’s Dua Lipa Experience/Dancing: [14:43] – [21:07]
• Synagogue Safety & Ritual Talk: [23:08] – [24:31]; [29:33] – [41:44]
• Big Jewish Tits Riff: [31:14] – [34:33]
• Endearing Farewell to Christine: [41:32] – [42:29]

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Tone & Language

With their “blunt, unfiltered honesty,” Jay and Bobby blend crass humor with warmth and genuine affection for each other and their crew. Every tangent comes loaded with nostalgia, neuroses, raunch, and New York attitude. There’s a constant undercurrent of friendship: whether they’re roasting Lou about his age at concerts or hyping Christine up for synagogue, the love (and the jokes) are always on.

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TL;DR

If you want a hysterical, no-holds-barred crash course in New York weirdness, Jewish sexuality, and the kind of crude, clever comics that made “the bonfire” famous, this unhinged episode is a must-listen. Just maybe bring some hand sanitizer for the subway.

Transcript

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[Christine]

And now, the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Easy touch.

[Big J Okerson]

Bob. You take your time, buddy. I know all the words. This one with no one around and a blanket of stars in her eyes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Free you gotta take a two lost.

[Big J Okerson]

Leaves on the crazy end of the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Night how to get the sun chips.

[Big J Okerson]

Don'T say a word I already hurt don't describe how gross it's what you're.

[Bobby Kelly]

Doing out of my cheeks.

[Big J Okerson]

All night she says it's all right O we got the time I want a man with this man everyone's just doing their own thing. No one's involved in this with me.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a good song. It's a mellow song. Yeah, it's a song that you wind up doing things to.

[Lou]

Yeah, like showering and dancing.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Lou]

JJ dances and showers to this?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I thought you were talking about you. I took a big fat fist full of sun chips before. And I don't want Lou or Eddie or Luigi to assassinate me because I'm chewing on air. What was his name again?

[Lou]

The trucker that called and said he doesn't like you eating on air.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was it. What was his name? I kept calling him Ed.

[Lou]

Wasn't Ed jd.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jd. Jd. Honk, honk.

[Big J Okerson]

Black Lou really remembered his name.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You think Black Lou paid him to say all that stuff?

[Bobby Kelly]

He didn't pay him.

[Big J Okerson]

He's one of Black Lou's friends.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's probably just a friend that he have over the bar.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you call in, like, give my grievances as a fan?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just hate it. He chews all the time. Swallows.

[Big J Okerson]

Makes me.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think this song is the song that Trump had in his dressing room when they went back?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Mrs. Kirk, load off. You look like your shoulders are tense. Does this help at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

Neither one of us can do a trump. We don't. We. Neither one of us do a good trump.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you know, let's try it. Let me hear yours.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll just make it nefarious in general. Like, he's like, you know, get over here. Let me rub those shoulders. I don't really do a trump necessarily.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just a creepy politician.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just plug it in.

[Big J Okerson]

It's fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

His mind. Ready? I like your hands. No, no.

[Big J Okerson]

That was not good at all. I don't know what that was. Like. Almost like a Christopher Walken, but, like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, not.

[Big J Okerson]

Not even.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was terrible.

[Big J Okerson]

That went haywire on you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I looked. I saw. I saw. I saw Jacob's Jewish superhero outfit he has in his backpack.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, I know you're gonna go fight Jewish crimes tonight.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What are you doing? You have a bunch of Jewish stuff in your bag that was sticking out that. Oh, I mean, muzzle. Tough. God bless.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you in Subway Circumcisions on the way home or something? You got a side business.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're gonna strap a GoPro to your forehead and bob back and forth on the train.

[Big J Okerson]

I know those shoes look nice. You're not affording that on this salary. Jaco.

[Bobby Kelly]

You doing Mouth of Circumcision?

[Big J Okerson]

Are you doing Subway Bris? Your new. Your new web series, Subway Brisk with Jacob Batat.

[Christine]

It's not. What is sanitary in there? Do you have to watch that video with that guy? That made me want to vomit in the subway.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow, that.

[Christine]

First of all, that changed that.

[Jay]

First of all, what a.

[Bobby Kelly]

Off the subject. That was brilliant. That was really good.

[Christine]

Well, I was blending it into.

[Bobby Kelly]

You didn't want to talk about. You want us off the subject of your.

[Christine]

Well, you know, I'm leaving early.

[Bobby Kelly]

We know you're leaving early because you have to go and do your. Your stuff on the subway.

[Big J Okerson]

His shift as the Jewish Avenger.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have a beret? Do you ever star David Beret? This guy on the subway. Some.

[Christine]

That.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, the train's empty, so it had to be late at night. This guy's on the subway.

[Big J Okerson]

He doesn't even seem homeless.

[Christine]

Well, there's the one.

[Big J Okerson]

He doesn't. I mean, I Mean that I thought he was. When he looks like this, when he gets. When he's like, sees people coming, he stops doing it. He doesn't seem home. I'm sure he is, I guess, but he didn't read that way to me. At the end of this lunatic.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to look at his feet. You can tell home is from their feet, if any part of their foot is exposed.

[Big J Okerson]

Not though, I don't think is it.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I don't know, it might be a sneaker or flip flop, but he takes. He takes his pants down all the way, stands up on the chair. And then the handles on the subway that you hold. Everybody holds onto the pole, handle, pole. I don't know if there was a correction, a micro correction.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you get. You're a little sensitive to it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. Wait, stop right now. I'm sensitive?

[Big J Okerson]

You are. I know on this one. You shouldn't be.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm very sensitive. And you should know that we have.

[Big J Okerson]

To paint a picture to the people listening at home. Yeah, but the picture, the handles are up here. That's the holes through the middle.

[Bobby Kelly]

It doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

That is someone who's on the subway.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we take a vote in the room?

[Jay]

Christine? Don't you fucking turn away from me.

[Jacob]

I'm excusing myself from this vote.

[Jay]

I want this vote right now.

[Christine]

The poll, subway poll is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was it descriptive enough for the people at home to understand what he was about to wipe his ass on?

[Big J Okerson]

The handle.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You're saying the handle.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, I said the hand. I said the pole.

[Jay]

Did I say the handle?

[Big J Okerson]

You think you said the poll and I corrected you with the handle. Is that how you just see history?

[Bobby Kelly]

I have short term memory problems too.

[Jay]

I don't know about, you know, my childhood trauma that you seem to take advantage of.

[Big J Okerson]

That was awesome what you just did. Thanks. That mental gymnastics was awesome. He goes. I said, paul. And this guy says handle. No, no, you said handle. And I just said.

[Jay]

Did you?

[Bobby Kelly]

That was beautiful.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you? That was. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

So the pole and the.

[Big J Okerson]

You're taking advantage of me because I didn't slee.

[Christine]

I mean, set the whole scene here. All right, there's only one person in the. There's only the camera guy. Whoever's filming, he's in.

[Jay]

He's in another car for sure. I guess he's filming and this guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is going pole to pole, taking his pants down.

[Jay]

And now on the pole. It's exactly the handle. On the handle, pole.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Where most people hold on to.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jay]

It's exactly at the height of most people where you put your hand.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he's opening his asshole and smushing his asshole.

[Big J Okerson]

He's riding it up and down the pole.

[Jay]

Up and down the pole. But not one pole.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's going pole to pole like a stripper.

[Big J Okerson]

How many on this? I only seem to get two in this. But you have to assume. You have to assume this guy's been at work for a while.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to assume. And here's the thing.

[Jacob]

It's.

[Jay]

It's not pure shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like ash juice.

[Jay]

It's ash juice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not well wiped ass. You are and life.

[Jay]

You're not gonna see it. You will definitely.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you walk in and see on a pole, you will notice that he didn't do that. He's smart. He knows what he's doing. He put ash juice on the pole. Yeah, Juice So that some of it's going to dry clear.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You won't even notice. Like you'll grab that pole tonight, Jacob. Yeah, you'll grab that pole tonight and it'll have his all over it.

[Christine]

Yeah. He mushed. Yeah. Like liquid onto the. The poles. It just makes a. His ass impression. And that right where you're gonna grab.

[Jay]

And I'm gonna say this by the way.

[Christine]

Look at him.

[Big J Okerson]

He really gets it in there. I appreciate.

[Christine]

Oh, that's. No, that's the full.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just can't see it. That's not full.

[Jay]

That's ass juice.

[Bobby Kelly]

With a little bit of that you will not. Then he goes to the next poll and this next one. Oh God.

[Jay]

I mean, can I just say something?

[Bobby Kelly]

That must feel awesome.

[Big J Okerson]

I bet it does.

[Jay]

That cold.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like nice and cold.

[Christine]

Cooling.

[Jay]

Yeah, that cooling cold pole right in your asshole.

[Bobby Kelly]

He might be like a dog.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, he's extremely homeless.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. His feet. Right?

[Jay]

Feet.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No shoes.

[Jacob]

No. It's so gross. I rode the subway today for the first time since seeing this video and I really thought about it as I.

[Big J Okerson]

Know and Christine always thought the safest thing to do was to just fucking. Just bite the pole.

[Jacob]

I usually loop my elbow around it, but.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh great. Get turned on your jacket.

[Christine]

I've seen little kids be little kids and like lick the. The pole. The pole. Because they're dumb kids.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that's why this is what's happening.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why none of us died from COVID though. Because we're always got a little bit of and turd on us.

[Jay]

But this is the Thing. They never wash the train.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never mind going in and washing the poles.

[Big J Okerson]

They say they do. Don't they watch trains?

[Christine]

They don't wash it at the end of the run.

[Big J Okerson]

I think every night I think at.

[Bobby Kelly]

The end of the run someone goes in that thing and every single train in New York City, they go in and just the.

[Jacob]

Imagine they spray it down with something.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way.

[Christine]

I think they do the floors. I think Bobby's right. I don't think they're washing.

[Big J Okerson]

I bet they wiped them.

[Jay]

No way.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way. Do you know how long that would.

[Jay]

Take to clean every pole on every train every night?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that would be the job of a cleaner. What do you think? They clean every building, Every room in this building.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many times have you been in a Delta flight and you found a little cookie packet in the front?

[Big J Okerson]

I do hate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't you. You think they're cleaning the subways.

[Big J Okerson]

I leave traps, by the way too. I leave tissues. And inside the little pocket sometimes. You guys supposed to clean it. You should. And how many times I've gone and found someone's else's tissues or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, a peanut on your seat.

[Christine]

I watched A, A. It's a YouTube special on you. It's on YouTube. You can watch in Japan when the chair train gets to the end of the line, like 40 people go into each car and clean everything. And I mean one person get on the floor with a toothbrush and cleaned the crack in between. Where? The door. The door.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Well, there's a billion of them. They need to find work for them.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not. That's Japanese. That's China.

[Big J Okerson]

Huh?

[Jay]

China.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a billion. Japan, it's just a small island off.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought it's all of them. And we just say China.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they hate each other. Japanese hates China. And they tried to. Well, they tried to kill them in World War II. They tried to take over all of China. They're very close. And then we, we stopped them.

[Big J Okerson]

Little Japan was going to take over big ass China.

[Bobby Kelly]

China was.

[Christine]

China had no million. Yeah, China had killed 25 million Chinese. They're a bit nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

China would have been Japan if we let them go, which I think we should have. And now in hindsight, we should have let it go because I like ramen better than I like General Gao's chicken.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, do me a favor. Bring up, bring up naked Japanese girl and naked Chinese girl and let me see which one I wish would have won the war.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to pick Chinese.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Although I can't do this game with World War II. Because I'll be like, you know, some hot German bitches are much more hotter than a bunch of fucking sad fucking babushka wearing Jew girls. All right, what is this here we're looking at Japanese? Yeah. Christine, could you please type in with bush? Thank you.

[Christine]

Maybe.

[Jay]

You know what?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it's Japanese. I like Japanese. Well, that one right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

That it's not a dog doll? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that something in it? That has something in it, right?

[Big J Okerson]

There's a inside of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, but is that ball? Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that was a guy's balls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, those guys balls. Okay, there you go.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, let's get a pretty one though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, don't.

[Big J Okerson]

She's very pretty.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's pretty, but don't open. I don't want one with opened up.

[Big J Okerson]

And then Chinese girl nude with bush.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't click on the one with the open vag. That's gross.

[Big J Okerson]

I gotta be honest with you. I. I think there's some roughies in there too. But I think if I'm going on the. I think there's a more fun, like, what do you call, like a more fun, like, range of different kinds of attractive to Asian girls. And Japanese girls always look very like. It's a very similar thing. It's always like. They always have like. It's like the super pale skin, you know, I mean, it's always like the schoolgirl look is like the thing they have is like the young, scared, innocent girl, Whereas the Chinese are just like hot in like a regular old Chinese way.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know what you're saying.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm looking at it.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, what is this?

[Jacob]

Chinese girl?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Chinese. I think the Chinese bush fat is a little more rogue than the Japanese bush fat, But Japanese bush fat is more kept more Japanese style. You know what I mean?

[Christine]

I'm going Japanese.

[Jacob]

Well, of course you are.

[Christine]

Yeah. Well, I guess.

[Jacob]

I guess you already knew that.

[Jay]

I could see what Jay's saying.

[Christine]

Turn down either one.

[Bobby Kelly]

But Jay, what you're saying is there a little. There are a little. There's more nuances to a Chinese girl. There's different faces, different boobs. Japanese looks all the same.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. That lady right there on the right. I forget her name. Yeah, her. She was in Jesus. She's an older. She did a years ago was in A Dirty Debutante with Ed Powers, My favorite porn series of my teenage years. And she. She. She farts on camera by accident. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a porn video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob doesn't like untamed vagina hair.

[Big J Okerson]

He listen to me at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry about that.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy came inside of her and then tells her to push it out and she just farts. And then she goes, you're not going to leave that in there, are you? And he goes, no, no. And then it clearly is, but he goes, push it down. Type in Dirty Debutante's Tiger. I think her name's Tiger something.

[Jacob]

Wash your puss in the sink.

[Big J Okerson]

You can wash your puss in the sink if you want to.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

While she's looking up that fart. Lou, you went to see Dua Lipa? Does that mean two lips?

[Lou]

I don't know what it means. It means two butt cheeks, I can tell you that, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Why? Because they were out the whole time.

[Lou]

Yeah. That's all that. She's dressed in lingerie. Everyone in the audience at MSG the other night, everyone in the audience dress like sluts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. Really?

[Lou]

Yeah. Lingerie. They all dress like Dua lipa.

[Big J Okerson]

And then just you and then just me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Lou]

I was sore thumb, but a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

Of people did the part, though. Did you do the part when she did the song finally?

[Lou]

With which song? Yes, I recorded that part too. And I recorded me dancing. It's in your email, Christine, if you want to get off of Asian Puss for a second.

[Big J Okerson]

Lou, let's not throw directions at her so fast. I'm trying to find something here.

[Lou]

Throwing it out there.

[Big J Okerson]

Trying to find this girl. Queef or fart. Rather fart. Whatever. Super brown Chinese. Yeah. She wasn't very hot and just the way she farts made me laugh. And it was one of those. We, like, took the, like, stole the video from our friend's dad who had like VHS of his stuff, and it was just one of the ones we had in there. And I was watching that scene and it's like such a bummer. You can't really share it with anybody. You just know it exists. But I found it on the Internet before. Since. But I mean, when I was a kid, we're having that fart and when a friend would come over, you'd have to do the admission of like, all right, I stole this tape, but you have to watch how funny this thing is, Christine. I vamped so long. You definitely found it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, she didn't.

[Big J Okerson]

Tiger fart.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's got chopa libra. What's her name?

[Big J Okerson]

Dupaloopa.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dupa Lupa. What's her name Dua Lipa. Dua Lipa. Who is she now?

[Lou]

She's a British pop star for about 10 years now. She's Albanian and harass is pretty good. I've never see your face.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not it. That's a retarded Chinese girl. We don't want to watch that.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good. So you. Is this your girls? This is your girl?

[Lou]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She wanted to go. She loves her.

[Lou]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And you know, this was actually Lou. He was. Yeah, she thought I was gay.

[Christine]

It must be, I mean, crazy that the change from going to see like everyone over 50 at Pearl Jam and then you go here and it's just a sea of hot women.

[Lou]

It was, yes. But there was an older couple in our row which was older than me, so I felt pretty good.

[Big J Okerson]

Why?

[Lou]

Just because I wasn't the oldest person there, but it was a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

You're the second oldest person there. Doesn't feel any better in an arena.

[Lou]

At the time it did.

[Big J Okerson]

It's just me and you old timers.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do you think they said about you?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, thank God. Another older gentleman's here.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have to worry about sitting down 20 minutes into this Shing Ding.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, do they take AARP over there at the sandwich place? Chris, you found that fart, right? For sure.

[Jacob]

No, I did find an anime of a tiger coming inside someone. No, not finding the actual.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you type in Dirty Debut?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry, did you say an anime of a tiger coming into a woman?

[Jacob]

Yeah, this miniature comes inside a tiger. This is what I'm coming up with.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you doing?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, this is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to see that ever.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not real, so I don't care.

[Jacob]

But it is disturbing.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's not. If it was a real minotaur fucking a tiger, maybe just do dirty Debutante's fart. Take out everything else in there.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you were dancing, were you? Did you ease into it or to just come out of you?

[Lou]

I. I didn't dance. But then she plays with one cover song every show. And she played blondie. One way or another I'm gonna get you, get you. So I danced to that.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do you get to that song?

[Lou]

My same bop dance I do everywhere I go.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's just a bop dance.

[Big J Okerson]

I've never seen a lot of your bop dancing. Cuz last time you tried to bop dance in here, you stopped immediately on your first bop.

[Lou]

Oh, I. I do stop immediately.

[Christine]

I want to see you shake your money maker.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do too. I want to see you.

[Lou]

So this is like, the one rock rock song she does. So I'm like, okay, now it's my turn to dance, right?

[Jacob]

And.

[Christine]

Whoa, Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God, though. You have stripper in you.

[Lou]

That's all you get. That's all I got is, like, 10 seconds.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't do anything to the music that was playing at all. Yeah, that was crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were dancing like Blondie.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Were you listening to Pearl Jam in your ears? Did you have AirBuds? AirPods in footage?

[Christine]

You could cut it into anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

You were dancing like an old woman.

[Lou]

That's how I dance. That's how I dance. So we're on the side of the stage, and so we were getting the butts of all the dancers, and so we were really pretty close. Watch me zoom in there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh.

[Lou]

And all she does is wear lingerie and strut around.

[Jacob]

She has this, like, hip butt dance that she just does all the time.

[Lou]

Yeah. I can't tell if she's a good dancer or not.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think if you saw up that skirt, you'd see her dua lipa two lips?

[Christine]

Her ass is phenomenal.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys must not speak Latin.

[Lou]

And can you play the next 1J song?

[Big J Okerson]

Tuolippos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

This would be the song you do your cha cha to, or you're on Dancing with the Stars.

[Big J Okerson]

I'd be better than Corey Feldman.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn right it'd be. It'd be better than Hugh Jackman.

[Big J Okerson]

Scooter badoop buddy bop. Badingy dang.

[Bobby Kelly]

What are you doing now? Are you dancing to this?

[Lou]

I'm doing the clap.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lou]

Oh, here comes Nyla. She's in heaven.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wow.

[Jay]

Holy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never seen somebody enjoying something more.

[Lou]

She's really feeling it in her soul.

[Jay]

What the fuck?

[Bobby Kelly]

That was awesome. How do you keep up with that?

[Lou]

You know, you just. Hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you feel bad that you're not enjoying as much as her?

[Lou]

I faked it.

[Big J Okerson]

Is this her one dance she does?

[Jacob]

That's not even the one dance.

[Big J Okerson]

I was thinking of the pencil sharpener.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

It's called the pencil Sharpener.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, did you make that up? It was on there.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what it said.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought. You mean, you know, dances. You know the pencil sharpener.

[Big J Okerson]

Pencil sharpener. Well, I mean, dance that I'm desperate to learn is called so Many Different Things. The V step, the something else. But it's called Many Different Things. Happy feet.

[Jay]

Didn't Paco do it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I'm sorry, dude. I'm Listen. What I brought it up and I apologize. I know you want it.

[Big J Okerson]

I want it so bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why don't you go. Why don't you have Paco on the road with you for a weekend and spend your off time with him?

[Big J Okerson]

Training me. Training. Like, are you dancing?

[Jay]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

You think we do the lift, buddy?

[Jay]

It would take one weekend, maybe two.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, Paco, I love you.

[Bobby Kelly]

When are you working locally again? Take him on the weekend and spend the weekend training.

[Big J Okerson]

I, he, he, I thought he was doing DC with me and then he had the bail, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

10,000 hours, dude. Put in two and you'll get it down and then you dream. Just one more thing in the bucket list that's just checked off. Would you do if you learned how to do the dance? Would you break it out a lot?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you bet. I'd find reasons in front of different groups, though. It would have to be a real reveal in front of all my different groups of friends at different times.

[Bobby Kelly]

What would it be? In front of skanks. At the, like, in the middle of skanks, we just get up and do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Possibly. Yeah. There's probably a time on skanks I could find to get up and do like an abrupt movement that would. And then people would kind of be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like, oh, every time you get a.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you do that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Every time you get a good one in, you just get up and break it out.

[Big J Okerson]

Last week when I got a good one and I did a complete lap around the room and shook everyone's hand in the audience.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's awesome.

[Big J Okerson]

I really accept my kudos when I get a good one. They said that gay blind Mike looked like Lee Harvey Oswald or Lee Harvey Oswald. And I called Lee Harvey also, see, hardly Oswald, because a gay blind mic brought the room down.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're getting really good at those.

[Big J Okerson]

Brought the room down.

[Christine]

Jacob, can you watch Ghost Face? Go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on real quick before you. So you're leaving early today. And what is this? I just don't know because I, you know, I'm fine with religion. I love that you go, but what is the stuff you have to carry? Is that a Torah?

[Big J Okerson]

Is that the Torah?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that the Torah?

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it the Torah that Jesus, like the one Moses had? What is it? What do you have to carry?

[Big J Okerson]

Is it one of the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it one of the tablets of the Ten Commandments?

[Christine]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that a hamaga yamaka holder?

[Christine]

I want to bring in the mood down.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not a mood. Christine, you're a. What the hell's wrong with you?

[Big J Okerson]

Christine just brought the mood down with that anti Semitism.

[Jacob]

And he deserved it.

[Big J Okerson]

We don't need that right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. We don't need that right now.

[Big J Okerson]

We need people to come together.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just want to know what it is dividing. Like, what do you have to.

[Christine]

It's. It was my dad's.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's your dad's yama prayer?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Prayer.

[Christine]

What, his and his and his. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So it's a yarmulke and a shawl, and you put it on. So you go home tonight and you'll pray with the. That's cool. What's wrong with that? By yourself.

[Christine]

No one there.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got to go to a Jewish temple.

[Christine]

Yes. I'd be careful, believe me. I checked the corners nonstop. This place has no security sweat.

[Big J Okerson]

My Lord.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

Trusting Jews.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do they have one that you can go to the house? Security?

[Christine]

Not the one. I'm going to. The one. This one's like.

[Jay]

The show is sponsored by Better Help.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's coming. The days are getting darker and longer. It's getting colder. And the holidays are here.

[Jay]

Balancing family and travel and gifts and where you're going and who you're doing it with, it's easy to forget about yourself in the middle of all this chaos. We always forget to take care of ourselves because we're worried about everybody and everything else.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's why BetterHelp is encouraging you to.

[Jay]

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[Big J Okerson]

You know, the holidays are here, and with them comes all the cheer and the spending. I think we've all felt the pressure of finding the perfect gift for the.

[Jay]

Perfect price and those prices are sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Giving us a run for our money. It's crazy.

[Jay]

I have my son, my wife, but my grandfather and grandmother had eight kids and they had eight kids. We have 60 people in my family. Never mind friends, never mind the dog. There's so much money flying out the window every holiday season at my house. Luckily you can get holiday savings at Metro with the most wonderful deal of the season, right Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

Get one line of 5G for only $25 a month and a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. And the best part is you can keep the phone you love and keep your number and no activation fees at Metro. Get that more for your money feeling by visiting your local store today. $25 a month with autopay $30 your first month guarantee exclusions apply. C site for details Cold mornings holiday.

[Jay]

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[Bobby Kelly]

But then I got this cashmere one and then I tried it on and.

[Jay]

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[Christine]

They have cameras, like, okay, I'm gonna. I. Can I get to see the person?

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll get to catch the person that kills you.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's good.

[Christine]

It's great that it's on camera and all.

[Big J Okerson]

It will not be in vain. We will catch them.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Me and Jay alone will catch them.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Avenge me.

[Bobby Kelly]

We will avenge you. And then when we do catch him, Jay's gonna do his dance.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Hey. Bobby Kelly and Jay Okerson, temple detectives.

[Bobby Kelly]

A donalump of Terry Coe temple detectives would be a funny show.

[Christine]

Yeah. I mean, it's stressful thinking where. Because I mean, I'm like going. I swear my head goes back to the front door.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is every two minutes.

[Big J Okerson]

Why would anybody do something terrible inside of a synagogue?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I'm sorry. This. This stuff. What's happened with Israel and Palestine right now?

[Big J Okerson]

That's over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but apparently they came here too.

[Big J Okerson]

Who?

[Bobby Kelly]

Both of them.

[Big J Okerson]

Palestinians and the Jews. Let's push them out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's go.

[Big J Okerson]

Whenever Palestinians come, you push them out. Isn't that what we've learned?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's true.

[Big J Okerson]

You push them out.

[Bobby Kelly]

So when you go in there, do you. Do you pick your. Do you have like.

[Christine]

I try to pick good seating. I go to the. Where there's one escape exit and I. I'm ready. Like, I plan my escape.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

But I also don't want to be the guy who, you know, has to mow, like, topple over people.

[Bobby Kelly]

You gotta get around.

[Christine]

I want to be a hero and save one person, but I don't know if I'm too.

[Bobby Kelly]

If there's a baby, grab the baby and run easy like a football.

[Christine]

The baby. But yeah, if it's a big guy or something. What am I going to do? On your own. You leave him a woman.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you check out all the fine Jewish asses when you're in the synagogue? Yeah. Some goodies.

[Christine]

I feel like you're not supposed to, but if there's a hot woman, I'm.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, you take it in.

[Christine]

Yeah, I take it in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have to ask for forgiveness at the end of church? For what? Where your brain went.

[Big J Okerson]

It's also nice because everybody dresses up.

[Christine]

To not be a sinner, I guess.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Everyone will dress.

[Christine]

My mind is in the gutter.

[Big J Okerson]

It is. Yeah. And don't worry. Listen, it's a nice place, but I mean, it's a fat tit culture, Judaism, I'll tell you that. It's a big flopping, fat titted culture. Even the small, smaller women. It's just a flopping tit color now. Nipple color. It could be better sometimes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Nipple colors are weird on a Jewish broad.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sometimes little Carmeli.

[Big J Okerson]

Too dark for the rest of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a real hard change in tone. It's like milky white to like a brown almost. You know what I mean?

[Christine]

The times I went and the. And like the timing when they're. You're specifically supposed to be asking for forgiveness.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And my mind is just like, I wish I could just tear this woman's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Clothes off in church, in temple.

[Christine]

I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus Christ. With your father. With your father's case.

[Christine]

But they're still hot. You could tell they're hot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think that this come out of it because you're wearing your father's stuff and his. His energy is coming through you?

[Big J Okerson]

This is what he would want. It is what he would want.

[Christine]

Well, yeah.

[Jacob]

Jacob, you should probably clean up a wife and temple.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at these. These are Jewish tits, right? The two in the middle. In the middle, all the way to the right. Yeah, the middle, all the way to the right. Those are two sets of Jewish tits if I've ever seen them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they really are.

[Christine]

Those are nice.

[Big J Okerson]

That one right there, that's. That one all the way to the right is like. That's like. Yeah, there you. And there you go. Her right there. There she goes. That's a. A pretty thin, big titted Jewish girl. But that's the big tit you're gonna get.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a swinger.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get a big areola.

[Christine]

See, that's.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the. The actual areola is way darker than the tit itself.

[Big J Okerson]

Way darker.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it looks like somebody drew it. If you were to draw a titty.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, something with that nip. Color change is aggressive.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's aggressive.

[Big J Okerson]

And that's what Hitler was trying to weed out.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then we stopped him because we can never see progress before it happens.

[Bobby Kelly]

We don't. We don't.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what, dude? We lack foresight. If we just would have let Hitler do his thing, dude, everybody would have been a Charlie Kirk wife.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we lack foreskin because of the juice.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. And now I sit here with my beautiful, beautiful circumcised wiener instead of having some floppy foreign thing that everyone seems to be all the hubbub right now. Damn Jewish tits suck more than I thought.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like a big Jewish titty.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I do too. I'm kidding. But I mean, they really are fucking. Just. It's that Change that color change. And it's American Jewish chicks. I'm not talking about like Israeli chicks or anything that got a little Sephardic.

[Christine]

Thing because those, those are smoke shows for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not even saying these, I'm not even saying these girls aren't smoke shows. I'm just saying when those tips tits come out. If a girl has big tits when she's Jewish in America, a big tits at 18 years old, they already look like tits of a 42 year old. You know, I mean they're just, they.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look like they had a kid already. Yes, yes.

[Big J Okerson]

They're just, they're heavy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anybody who has a wife who had a kid, the tit nipple color changes. And it looks like the nipple has been through some, some.

[Big J Okerson]

When a girl's got a big tit.

[Bobby Kelly]

It'S like an old tire on a Range Rover.

[Big J Okerson]

When a girl's got a big tit and she's young, even if, you know, in the 30s, in her 30s those things are going to fall down.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

In the twenties they're still holding this position. But in a Jewish girl they're already. They're just matronly heavy tits. Right. In high school.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

A big heavy tit, A big swinging.

[Big J Okerson]

Heavy tits come from.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now where does it come from, Jacob?

[Big J Okerson]

Chosen people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Do you know where this heavy tit thing is? That like a Trojan people?

[Big J Okerson]

All you goyim can go get saline stuffed in your tits.

[Christine]

These Jewish broads never wouldn't. Never With a lot of Jewish women. I never.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're going to temple tonight.

[Christine]

Now last time I was there it was like I would say they were all above 70.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh really? You go to the wrong temple.

[Christine]

I'm not going there to cruise.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why not?

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta go to sexy temple. Christine, look up. Where's the sexiest temple?

[Bobby Kelly]

Buddy, you gotta go to a different.

[Big J Okerson]

Sexiest temple is. Please, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I go to an AA meeting, you think I'm going to an old timers meeting? No way I'm going to a young people in aa.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to see a blonde chick shaking.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I'm saying?

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby and Lou get there early and edge.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we edge. And then we donate, right? We donate $5 each into that bucket with little jizz on it. Yeah, right, right, Lou.

[Big J Okerson]

Just like that guy rubbing his ass juice all over the subway. Bobby gives cum dollars to the bucket.

[Christine]

Yeah, it's been a rough year.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm trying to find some heavy Jewish.

[Christine]

My dad would have loved that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, we all would have loved it. It's because he's a man.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

He'd love for you to have some heavy Jewish tit tonight.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah, Jacob, that's all you need to concentrate on. Find a heavy, tittered woman to love you, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

How great would that be? How.

[Jacob]

Turn your house to a home.

[Big J Okerson]

You know how warm you're gonna be inside those tits? Yeah, very warm.

[Jacob]

A nice little pillow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, like Han Solo and a tauntaun.

[Big J Okerson]

That's absolutely right. On the planet of Hoth. It was. It was before the battle of Hoth.

[Christine]

Yeah. Yep. All right.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the only battle I know of. Any Star Wars. The battle for Hoth.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the only one he knows. And he pulls it out of a hat.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank God you brought up a Empire Strikes Back reference, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tonight, dude. Now, can I ask you a question, Jacob?

[Big J Okerson]

This can't just be about your father's house. Must be about getting Jewish at a temple.

[Bobby Kelly]

Have you seen your father's hood yet? His.

[Jay]

His cloth.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is it called? You put it over your shoulders, right?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What if it's like. Have you seen it? Does it have, like. Was he a pimp? Did it have, like, pimp and stuff on it?

[Christine]

My dad was very religious.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

So he had. He put a lot of. It was. It was important to him, so I got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I say you wear it from the studio to the temple.

[Christine]

No, I'm not doing that.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you really cared about your dad.

[Christine]

Draw red circles.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want you to walk right through that.

[Big J Okerson]

You be loud and proud, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I want you to walk right through that cluster of people in front of that hola truck.

[Christine]

No, thanks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want you to walk right through there and be proud.

[Christine]

I'm going incognito. When I walk in.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm actually gonna. I'm gonna send. You're gonna take the subway, right? Right now?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't want you to do that. I'm gonna send the black car for you. It's gonna pick you up right over on the other side by Fox News. Listen, it's gonna pick you up over by Fox News, and I'm gonna need you to go over there and really just rock that cape if you could over by Fox News for a couple minutes. And Black Lew's gonna film you.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're gonna try to light you on fire like the Christmas tree.

[Christine]

Do you know when I go into the temple, when I get close to the door, I act like, you're not going. I'm not going in. And then I'll kind of walk past and just look, look, Left and right and then go in quickly.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna go fuck up some of these Jews.

[Christine]

No. Paranoid.

[Bobby Kelly]

He spray paints the swastika on the front and sneaks in. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, hey, guys, sorry, I had to do everything. I had to get in here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that's good. How long is service tonight? 45 minutes.

[Christine]

Yes. It's a shorter one. Tomorrow's all day.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's all.

[Jay]

What? Yeah, you gotta go all day tomorrow.

[Christine]

It's for my dad. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you take pictures of the heaviest hits of temple for us?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, real quick.

[Christine]

I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll give you my Ray Ban glasses.

[Big J Okerson]

It can't.

[Christine]

You're gonna be 70 year olds.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, not those ones, but that's what's.

[Christine]

Going to be there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on one second. Pause. You can take those ones too. Okay, let's just not get crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry I got selfish. I know.

[Christine]

Jay wanted to see. Would want to see them. He would.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. He doesn't know. He doesn't. He hasn't tasted the soup yet.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I haven't. The forbidden fruit. The forbidden rotten fruit of old tit.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think those nipples are brown? Wait till you see an old Jewish.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it goes black, I'd have to assume. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then they fall off.

[Big J Okerson]

80.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus Christ, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom's nipples must look like Binford Binsford charcoal nuggets at this point.

[Bobby Kelly]

They look like Oreo cookies.

[Big J Okerson]

Just dusty black. Dusty nipples. My mom had some dark nips. Big nipple balls.

[Bobby Kelly]

How did you know?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my mom. I saw my mom top us a lot when I was younger. She was turning me into her little gay son.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was so close.

[Big J Okerson]

She was so close. I mean, she has no idea.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, she does. She sees your outfits.

[Big J Okerson]

She didn't see me dance in the shower the way she wants.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, See, now look it. Can I just say something about this?

[Big J Okerson]

What? Well, let people know what we're looking at here, Christine. Just bringing up pictures of big Jewish tits.

[Christine]

Which.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

I, I love a big old Jewish. Not Jewish, but big old titty on a woman.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you?

[Bobby Kelly]

I, I. And I think it's from this movie I saw once. I don't know you, you're good at recalling movies. It was a movie. Italian woman. Old, older Italian woman. Like that. And there was a. A mentally challenged. Or as you say, retard.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I say. You're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, as you said. Yes, you said.

[Jay]

As you said.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're sick of calling them mentally challenged. Let's just go back to what it was pillow talk. All right, Sorry. Mentally challenged. The Todd. He had a kid downstairs, and she got mad at her husband, and the kid came up to kind of help her out, and she winds up blowing him. It's a movie.

[Big J Okerson]

American movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not a porn movie.

[Big J Okerson]

American movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, American movie.

[Big J Okerson]

And the big Italian woman lady, like.

[Bobby Kelly]

A, you know, American Italian.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Big titty lady winds up blowing the mentally challenged kid. The husband finds out and gets. And gets mad.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, you writing these keywords?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. And fans, please, if you find out what this movie is, send it in tomorrow. Yeah, Because I'd like to watch it again because I can't find it. Really made me excited.

[Big J Okerson]

And by the way, in the interim, I'll find. I'll find the dairy debutantes fart. Don't worry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we'll get it.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll get it.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll get the actual tape. We can get the tape.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. Are you going now, Jacob?

[Christine]

Yeah. If shit goes down and you see footage, I hope you got it. It's of me saving someone and not knocking someone over to get to the door.

[Big J Okerson]

That's weird. I feel like the video we're gonna find. I'm gonna save someone. I think the video we're gonna find is you being thrown back and forth in a subway as you will never hold the poles ever again.

[Christine]

Do you think I've ever held. Hold one of those poles?

[Big J Okerson]

I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have hold it. You held the pole in your life. A strip of pole.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sexy beast.

[Big J Okerson]

And then a guy's pole.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you love his. You love guy poles and stripper poles.

[Big J Okerson]

There's nothing funnier than the last three minutes of radio when we're just like. We can always start new subjects. So we're just like. I just want to keep making fun of Jacob touching dicks. Jacob, remember when you also sucked guys before? Yeah. Where are we at? 44. Three more minutes, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ask for forgiveness for that tonight while you're wearing your dad's hat.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Go put on your cape.

[Christine]

I love you, dad.

[Big J Okerson]

Go put on your cape and go get.

[Bobby Kelly]

God bless you, dad. Man, have fun tonight. And don't if. You know what, if something happens, check.

[Big J Okerson]

Out some tits for him. Your dad would have loved that.

[Christine]

Yeah, he loved hot women. He did that, man. And he got a lot of them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you guys drink wine at this thing?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Big J Okerson]

You can get tuned up a little.

[Jacob]

Bit for like, 50 years.

[Christine]

This. This was their six. This would have been their 60th anniversary.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, man.

[Christine]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that's great, man. Enjoy yourself. Tonight.

[Jay]

Happy, happy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pass. What is it? What is it? And what's the other one? Oh, that's next week. You got two. You gotta leave next week too.

[Christine]

Wednesday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, all right.

[Christine]

If I see any, I'll try and take titty pics for you.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just get there safe.

[Christine]

I know you want them.

[Big J Okerson]

Just take the quiet walk now.

[Christine]

I'm always even. No matter what. The bonfire is always with me.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's right. We're always with you.

[Jacob]

Then wear your stuff on the subway.

[Christine]

Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. And let Lou follow you mushed pole. I'm not touching any of that.

[Big J Okerson]

Take it slow, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bye, buddy. Have fun.

[Jacob]

Find a wife.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sneak in that church. Don't go right in the front door. See if there's a side door, everybody. He just patted his Jewish friend, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Bye, Jewish friend.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bye.

[Christine]

Bye.

[Jacob]

Bye, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Happy New Year.

[Jay]

Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's gonna be. He's all over the place.

[Big J Okerson]

We're never gonna see him again, but.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, no, he's done. Take us on all the tour dates. Visit bigj.Comedy.com and his YouTube page, YouTube.com bigjokerson where he's doing live. He's got a special. He is probably one of the funniest guys out of maybe five on the planet right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you stop it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not Won't.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I know who another one of those five is. Robert Kelly for tickets and all tour dates. Is this. Whatever doesn't kill you make you stronger?

[Lou]

That's right.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Punch up that live Robert Kelly for all tickets to all of his shows. You can check out Bobby's YouTube channel, YouTube.comobert Kelly Comedy. And of course, at the Village Underground, Fat Black Pussycat every Tuesday night.

[Bobby Kelly]

Love when you say that.

[Jacob]

Is this the movie? Profoundly Normal. Christie Alley.

[Big J Okerson]

Is this it? Profoundly Normal?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. What is that?

[Jacob]

It's one of the results from the keywords I put in for the mentally challenged blowjob movie.

[Big J Okerson]

We're such strong. Maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe send that to me. I'll watch it tonight.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll catch you guys tomorrow. Again, right here live at 5 Eastern, 2 Western. And then a different time in the middle. Crackle, crackle.

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[Big J Okerson]

So what are you waiting for?

[DSW Announcer]

Don't sleep on these savings. Get to DSW asap. It's haul or nothing, people. Shop the DSW semi annual sale today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, what's going on? I'm Robert Kelly.

[Big J Okerson]

And I'm Big J. Okerson. Do you want to listen to episodes of the Bonfire ad free and a whole week early?

[Jay]

Well, the Bonfire is a member of SiriusXM's Podcast Plus.

[Big J Okerson]

If you get a SiriusXM Podcast plus subscription, it opens you up to all kinds of benefits on so many SiriusXM shows and podcasts.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jay]

So what are you waiting for?

[Big J Okerson]

Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus right now or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus right now.