The Bite Technique

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly – Episode: "The Bite Technique"

Release Date: July 11, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Bonfire, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly delve into a heated and humorous discussion surrounding an incident involving actor Martin Cove. The episode, titled "The Bite Technique," explores themes of workplace boundaries, generational shifts in behavior, and the comedic fallout from unexpected conflicts.

The Bite Incident

The conversation kicks off with Robert Kelly bringing up a recent event where Martin Cove accuses him of biting a female colleague. This incident appears to stem from a playful interaction that spiraled out of control, reminiscent of situations from the popular show Cobra Kai.

• Robert Kelly [02:07]: "A lady in the streets. What's the story?"
• Big Jay Oakerson [02:20]: "He got a little carried away and he has showed no mercy to a... I think she a PA or a makeup lady."

The hosts speculate whether this biting incident was part of a larger narrative or merely a moment of poor judgment. They humorously compare the situation to antics from the Studio 54 era, suggesting that what might have been acceptable decades ago is now seen as inappropriate.

Generational Differences and Workplace Boundaries

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around how behaviors acceptable in the past are now scrutinized, especially in professional settings. The hosts highlight the evolving understanding of personal boundaries and consent.

• Big Jay Oakerson [03:08]: "He probably bit a lot of girls back in the 70s and 80s, you know what I mean?"
• Robert Kelly [04:00]: "He's an old guy. He was a handsome young Asian fella chosen in the Part two."

They debate the appropriateness of physical interactions in the workplace, emphasizing the importance of respecting colleagues' boundaries. The conversation takes a comedic turn as they imagine exaggerated consequences of such actions, blending humor with a critique of outdated behaviors.

Martin Cove’s Confrontation

Martin Cove makes a guest appearance, taking a firm stance against Robert Kelly's actions. His portrayal is intense, aiming to underscore the seriousness of personal boundaries even amidst comedy.

• Martin Cove [06:24]: "I'm sorry, I don't know what's going in your brain, but for you to get outraged at me is completely and utterly inappropriate."
• Robert Kelly [10:32]: "I apologize. It's humiliating. Thank God the show's over."

Cove’s character emphasizes that biting is an offense, rejecting any notion that it was mere playful behavior. The hosts engage in a back-and-forth, blending mock-seriousness with their trademark humor.

Comedic Exchanges and Escalation

As the discussion progresses, Big Jay and Robert infuse the conversation with rapid-fire jokes and exaggerated scenarios. They playfully criticize each other's lack of judgment and ponder what might have happened if traditional masculine responses were employed.

• Robert Kelly [07:00]: "But she didn't even talk. She just swept the leg, if you ask me."
• Big Jay Oakerson [12:57]: "Sometimes you can bite somebody, but you can't."

The humor intensifies as they imagine fantastical repercussions, including karate moves and over-the-top confrontations, all while maintaining a lighthearted tone about the serious underlying issue.

Resolution Attempts and Host Reflections

Towards the latter part of the episode, the hosts attempt to resolve the fictional conflict between Robert Kelly and Martin Cove's character. They reflect on better ways to handle such situations, albeit through a comedic lens.

• Robert Kelly [54:19]: "I want to start off by saying Confucius had less to say than this lady, I think."
• Big Jay Oakerson [54:19]: "Tell the fat son to leave too."

They mockingly discuss effective apology strategies, ultimately acknowledging the inappropriateness of Robert’s actions while maintaining their comedic rapport.

Closing Remarks and Future Plans

The episode concludes with Big Jay and Robert transitioning back to their regular comedic banter, promoting upcoming shows and maintaining the humorous spirit of the show.

• Robert Kelly [61:03]: "Hey, Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine..."
• Big Jay Oakerson [62:34]: "You are not free to go. I have to speak with her privately about how we're going to proceed..."

Despite the intense mock conflict, the hosts retain their camaraderie, ensuring listeners leave with both laughs and a nuanced take on the importance of respecting personal boundaries.

Notable Quotes

• Robert Kelly [02:07]: "A lady in the streets. What's the story?"
• Martin Cove [06:24]: "I'm sorry, I don't know what's going in your brain, but for you to get outraged at me is completely and utterly inappropriate."
• Big Jay Oakerson [12:57]: "Sometimes you can bite somebody, but you can't."
• Robert Kelly [54:19]: "I want to start off by saying Confucius had less to say than this lady, I think."

Conclusion

"The Bite Technique" episode of The Bonfire masterfully blends humor with a critical look at workplace interactions and evolving social norms. Through witty banter, exaggerated scenarios, and a touch of mock drama, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly engage listeners in a conversation that's both entertaining and thought-provoking.

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Subscribe now for more episodes of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, available Monday through Thursday at 5 PM Eastern on SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103.

Transcript

[Martin Cove]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. Big J and Bobby slinging comedy. Jacob and Kristen always laughing. Who can forgive to lose one's back and one's.

[Robert Kelly]

DJ Blue.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kicking all the locks Screwing all your mom. Stand up for the soul. It's time for Gather around the wire. Go ahead and light your fire. Get your ass ready for the bonfire. It's the bonfire. SiriusXM103 Faction Talk.

[Robert Kelly]

Can we. I know we got stuff we gotta get through. We probably didn't get to this stuff during the week, so we're getting to it now. Fucking sensei bit a lady. Is that part of the Cobra Kai code?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I think he just got carried away. I think he just forgot that the times have changed and you can't bite.

[Robert Kelly]

A lady in the streets.

[Jacob]

What's the story?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The dude from the. What's his name? What's his actor? Yeah, Martin Cove.

[Robert Kelly]

Since they. John Kreese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He got a little carried away and he has showed no mercy to a. I think she a PA or a makeup lady. What was she? Wardrobe?

[Jacob]

No, I think it's an actress.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was she an actress?

[Jacob]

Yes, she's an actress in the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude. He, he.

[Robert Kelly]

But wait a second. She's actually in the show.

[Jacob]

An Asian.

[Robert Kelly]

But it's after way off their filming. Or is this like. Oh, they find footage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is a whole new thing?

[Jacob]

No, I think they.

[Robert Kelly]

Because the show's over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this. Is this.

[Jacob]

This at a Comic Comic Con? Oh, yeah. They were both there signing for the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Show, hanging out and they started, I think around a little bit, joking, and he bit her.

[Robert Kelly]

So you think he was just fucking dicking around?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was dicking around.

[Robert Kelly]

You're sticking up for him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm. Well, I'm not Sticking up for him. He fucked up, but he got a little carried away. He probably bit a lot of girls back in the 70s and 80s, you know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

This was Studio 54, back when you could do it. This was Studio 54. You bit me back, bitch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Michelle Pfeiffer got bit a lot back in the day.

[Robert Kelly]

Which girls? It. Go back. Go up. Let me see.

[Jacob]

I don't know who she is, but.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, she's hot. She's the. By the way, she's really pretty. And they had her falling in love with Chosen. Old Chosen.

[Jacob]

Who's that one? Chosen's the guy I bailed on the show after.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you have to bail on the show. Did you bail in karate kid part 2? Chosen was the enemy who fucking slid down the fucking lantern line. And then.

[Jacob]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Butterfly. The origin of the butterfly knife in almost everyone's life.

[Jacob]

He's 25 years older than this.

[Robert Kelly]

Anyway, it's like the guy never used to Hand drum. Blue, please. Hang on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's all right. Please, just take. Just.

[Robert Kelly]

Can we reset the room for a second?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Reset.

[Robert Kelly]

Because that was fucking crazy what just happened.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was nuts.

[Robert Kelly]

Who's Chosen?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, come on.

[Robert Kelly]

In the lore of Karate Kid part.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's okay.

[Robert Kelly]

The guy, he's all right. He thinks it's great. He knows the actresses and Lady Chatterley's part two. Yeah. So they're both Cobra Kai on the show. They're sort of enemies. She doesn't like his style. He doesn't like hers. And she was also in love with Chosen. Old Chosen, who was the originator of the butterfly knife. Karate Kid to Jacob. But it was weird to have them getting together. That was a strange sell in the show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

He's an old. He's become an old guy. He was a handsome young Asian fella chosen in the Part two. Cardi. Part two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Looking guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Pretty good looking guy.

[Jacob]

Well, she's.

[Robert Kelly]

Until he was getting hit in the face and they had that pathetic. Like.

[Jacob]

She dresses him down on camera.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dresses him down. Dresses him down. But when he says, I'm sor. He keeps. She keeps going and going and going, and he's just like. And he sees the camera and he understands that it's a different time. And he's like, I. I made a mistake and I'm sorry. And she's like, why would you. I mean, you gotta watch.

[Jacob]

Doesn't let up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I mean, it's unclear.

[Robert Kelly]

She wouldn't dare talk that shit in Okinawa. If this was Okinawa. If this was he'd have fucking put five across her face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is 10 years ago. She wouldn't talk like this.

[Jacob]

He just has to stand there and take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But here's the thing.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, if we were in a dojo right now, I'd put you in the chest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But she's got, she's got a bunch of dudes around her on her side too. So everybody's against this guy. Nobody's on his side, man. This is Cobra Kai star. He bit.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, Cagney and Lacey star also.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's true. That's right. I know him from.

[Robert Kelly]

Were you guys in the Tyne Daily? In Cagney and Lacy? I don't think I liked Cagney or Lacy. No, they were just good cops. Can I tell you, I respected them for their work?

[Jacob]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

I really did. Nothing about that show was to make you give a fuck about the looks of Cagney and or Lacey.

[Jacob]

It was all about the work.

[Robert Kelly]

It was all about the work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was all about it.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, even Detective Olivia Benson, they tried to sexy her up a couple years there before she, you know, grew into an old fucking rotten apple.

[Martin Cove]

I'm sorry, I don't know what's going in your brain, but for you to get outraged at me is completely and utterly inappropriate. And honestly, I'm ashamed of your dignity as an 80 year old man to scream at a lady that you just bit.

[Robert Kelly]

Actress Alicia Hennepin. That wasn't the actress.

[Jacob]

No, that was the actress.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, so what happened was. I watch this, I forgot about this part. This is what he probably did. He fucked around, bitter. She came at him like, what the fuck? And he tried to. Alpha male, 1980, 75. Shut the fuck up.

[Robert Kelly]

She didn't even talk. She just swept the leg, if you ask me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And she. He probably got angry at her for getting mad at him for doing something ridiculous.

[Robert Kelly]

Shut up, Ching Chong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, exactly. And she probably. And then she didn't give up. And it's like you're a fucking nuts. And that's when the camera.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you rickshaw me to the next booth? You hop sing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She. And he. She's getting mad at him for getting mad at her for getting mad at him.

[Robert Kelly]

But that in the hat is her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I believe that that in the hat is her.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. That's all I couldn't say from behind.

[Jacob]

Yeah, there's another.

[Robert Kelly]

It's much more young. It's a much more young, funky look than I thought she was going to have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well.

[Jacob]

Oh, there she is. That's a better profile. Better shot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Trying to get the TMZ video. It's not loading.

[Jacob]

And he's, like, in old karate gear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But at these guys next to him, they're all.

[Robert Kelly]

He's in Cobra Kai warm ups, dude.

[Jacob]

That's what I'm saying. But it's. I feel so bad. Even though he bit somebody, like, but look at.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on. All these guys are holding their arms back. Don't hit her, by the way. Don't hit her. It's not. It's not the 80s. Hold your arm. Look at all.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I don't know. I think, by the way, she's so hot and angry. It looks like they're all actually covering their dicks so they don't get boners. All three guys that are standing there are covering their dicks with their hands or clipboards trying not to get boners while she dresses them down. And you stupid. And you got a little dick, too. Keep talking, I'm gonna spit your mouth.

[Martin Cove]

Very clear with witnesses.

[Robert Kelly]

She doesn't talk like that at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she does not.

[Jacob]

She has an English accent, actually.

[Robert Kelly]

You spit. You spit. My mouth was not. Wasn't what she said. Turns out. All right, you know what? You know what? I'm starting to think that my Asian impression might not be as dead on as I keep telling people it is, sir.

[Martin Cove]

We work together, we shake hands, we do photo ops, we get along.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wrong.

[Martin Cove]

When have I ever bit you? Fighting is an offense. That's why I've brought this gentleman here to speak to you, because you think you have done nothing wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's so funny, though.

[Jacob]

What would a camera crew with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What would ever cause you to bite? Like, a chick?

[Robert Kelly]

Almost what I'm saying. That's why I'm trying to guess, like, were they taking a picture? And, like, she's holding something, and, like, he's like, you know, act like he's biting her hand. Like, put his actual teeth on her hand and like. Because, again, this could be. There are. By the way, I'm all for drawing your lines and stuff, but there is, like, you have to watch. Now, if you go up to a girl at, like, work or something and put your hand on their shoulder and just go, okay, can I talk to you when you get a second? Like, you have to be like. Like, whoa. Why the touch?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you see Trump the other day? He was talking. Talking to the president of another country who's a woman, and he's like, you're very pretty. I can't say that I'm not supposed to call you pretty. But you are pretty.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd love to see your lips wrapped around my ding dong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like he's such a piece of shit. It's like you're very pretty. I'd. You. I'm not supposed to say that but.

[Robert Kelly]

But I would just know. I would.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You have options, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But this. This. This is nuts. So he probably did something joking around, took it too far.

[Robert Kelly]

You bite hand.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but. But he bit her and make angry back.

[Jacob]

I don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody knows that once you bite a Chinese lady, you're hungry. A couple minutes later. Whoa. Thanks Christine. Thanks.

[Robert Kelly]

Turn it up. Turn it up. She wants to pursue charges. I'd like to understand why you did that. I'm really. I apologize.

[Jacob]

I was just playing because we're very playful together and I bit down too.

[Robert Kelly]

Hard and I meant to just got a mouth mark on her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Martin Cove]

No, we do not play like that. I. I was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

I apologize.

[Martin Cove]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So no.

[Robert Kelly]

Humiliated. I don't know. Hum. Thank God the show's over. Thank God they ended it because that's humiliating.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you know how bad he wants to go. Hey, go fuck yourself.

[Robert Kelly]

Seriously.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was joking. You asshole. I bit you a little too hard.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm so really goes I'm sorry. Shouldn't I'm sorry. Stop this. Yeah, I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. I was playing around. I'm sorry. She's like no, no no. I brought another guy over here to talk a little shit. Please, please play more. What world do we like where to bite and leave a mark on her which is visible. That's super. Not cool.

[Martin Cove]

And I don't know if it's felony assault.

[Robert Kelly]

That's super.

[Martin Cove]

I want to be very clear with.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The fact that she knows it's felony assault. Makes me just sucks from the first.

[Robert Kelly]

Time she said it. Is that a throwing knife in her back pocket?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now it's a Chinese star. And a fan. She has a fan that she can kill you with with the fan.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like a razor sharp fan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And it comes out and she can.

[Robert Kelly]

Slice you now, man. He's like oh, come on, dick. Don't get hard. Don't get hard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if he just. He just did the Karate Kid kick right in her chest.

[Robert Kelly]

Crane kicked her out of the shot. I mean he's wrong. He's going to go to jail for it. But I'd accept it. He's like. He's like listen, you know what? Let's go and do it. If do right no can defend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? What is the bite technique.

[Robert Kelly]

Please play more.

[Martin Cove]

I want to be very clear in front of everyone here, Martin, you think it's funny to play with people? We are colleagues. I have played with you on set, we've danced, we've worked together, we've shaken hands. And I came to you as a colleague and I said to your son, hey, can you tell your dad not to bite me? Oh, I'm not going to the cops. I'm not going to anyone. He says, I'm sorry. I said, it's not his fault. Just tell your dad he can't bite me. Now, in the realm of what is normal and reasonable, and I don't know if you understand that, that's called civility and camaraderie, and it's called colleagues friendship. That's what that is. I came to you with that benefit of the doubt. Then I came to your face and I said, marnie, I said it very gently to you, Marty, you may not bite me. It hurts you. There's no. You try to justify. Because I don't think you understand that you cannot bite other humans.

[Robert Kelly]

Human.

[Martin Cove]

So I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on.

[Robert Kelly]

This is a. I don't think. I don't think he understands. You can't buy other humans either.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is, though.

[Jacob]

Eight minutes of her dressing.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the thing, you know, you really can't bite somebody, but you can. I've. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Sure you can.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've bitten Dawn.

[Robert Kelly]

No, but I mean, not even that. Like, you've bitten me, probably, or so. Do you know what I mean? Like, how many of my friends that I've, like, bitten, like, through their shirt or something on their own, but I mean, like, around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm very strange.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to bite you every time I see you.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, dude, I'm very biteable.

[Martin Cove]

Get outraged at me, is completely and utterly inappropriate. And honestly, the guy going by on.

[Robert Kelly]

The scooter is my favorite.

[Jacob]

I know he's in the wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

Coming through, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, come on.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he's in the wrong, but punishment fit the crime man. He wants to take, by the way. This is the thing. If she's going, like, there's a. We have a history of problems like this. It's. You take. It's. It's literally the thing. And he's like, if they really do have that history together, like, he's probably sitting there going, this is fucking crazy where we're at right now. You're right. We worked together for two Seasons of a thing. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was fucking around. If you hate that, I should have fucking. It was a dumb move by me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, let's fuck.

[Robert Kelly]

Can we get the fuck on with our lives?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It'll zero. Never, ever happen again.

[Martin Cove]

Scream at a lady that you just bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he screamed.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, well, now we're. Now we're. Now we're cooking with gas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what.

[Robert Kelly]

He's never talking turkey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He tried to alpha male her out of her complaint by going, shock. What the. It's just a. I'm kidding with you. I love. And she went, what? Different time. This is 2025.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it's still gonna be talking. If he took it that lightly, he probably didn't realize how upset she was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

I think she. They could have discussed, but by the way, Martin Cove may be a deplorable piece of who you can't talk to like this. And maybe this way he deserves. I don't care. I'm thrilled she did it because this is great for me. I don't give a fuck about Martin Cove. Sensei. John Kreese. Now, I know that guy just believed in those kids, but this guy could be a total piece of shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So I like happening to him whether he deserves or not. I just feel this is a thing that can get out of hand. And again, I'm not talking about purposely touching a girl's lower back when you walk by. All those creepy things they would describe.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that bad?

[Robert Kelly]

Are things apparently, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sorry, Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

It's never my jam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, I apologize.

[Robert Kelly]

Never my jam.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or.

[Robert Kelly]

But, like, going up to someone I don't know very well and, like, shoulder rubbing, like, I would think it's weird anyway, but I think it's also something you could probably be like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that bad, too?

[Robert Kelly]

It's also bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

DJ Lou, I apologize to you, too.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. And then going following people into the bathroom on purpose to watch them pee, Is that bad? Is it. That's also.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, I'm so sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, Bobby, you're gonna have to really start watching your ass around here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, man? Well, I'm watching other people's asses, but is that bad?

[Robert Kelly]

Asking someone to watch you and freestyle rap while you take a shit is something you can't do at work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? It's a music thing, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's. You can't do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I'll stop. I said I'm sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought. You're apologizing Black Lou for that one. I really tried to set it up, too, by giving you freestyle rap in the corner.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If he was here, I would have. Damn.

[Jacob]

Oh, sorry, Martin Cove guy fought and betrayed John Rambo. Now he's to put up with this nonsense.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you believe that?

[Jacob]

Well, he deserves it, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good Lord, it's a generous. It's a. He's from a different generation of moviemaking. When you could definitely bite a chick and then tell her to shut up.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm saying. If he did that. If he's. She's saying, screamed her and told her to kind of, like, off with it, then sure, yeah, then him. But, I mean, it is still funny to watch him, like, once the camera's on. Now he's kind of like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's literally understanding this.

[Robert Kelly]

I forgot cell phones exist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Those little.

[Robert Kelly]

Could you imagine what Cagney and Lacy would have said if cell phones were around Tyne? There. I bit Tyne Daily in 1987. What's the big deal?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This sucks that he's getting dressed down. Stupid hat on her head. Wool hat.

[Robert Kelly]

Get out of here. Ssx. She's like a snowboard game character.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Six minutes left of this dressing down.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Martin Cove]

We work together, we shake hands, we do photo ops, we get along. When have I ever bit you? Biting is an offense. That's why I've brought this gentleman here to stand. Speak to you. Because you think you have done nothing wrong. You have committed assault on my body. So I don't know what realm of justice you live in, but you think that that's in the realm of play. I'll tell you that the 1, 2, 4 men that are standing here will dispute your idea of play. My husband doesn't bite me. Nobody bites.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, he does.

[Martin Cove]

It is offensive. It is utter, undignified, and it is assault. So I don't really care what your justification is, but right now you're gonna listen to this officer, because I'm on the precipice of fury and Fury.

[Robert Kelly]

We're on the precipice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fury. What's Fury? Is that a new movie?

[Robert Kelly]

Precipice of Fury?

[Martin Cove]

Because what you've done is committed assault. And that's on camera. Everything that I just said.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What a. This is a lot of. This is a lot of dramatic acting she's putting on. I mean, she's. I understand what she's saying, but this is very. And that's this, and this is that. And I'm on the precipice of. I mean, this is almost rehearsed, isn't.

[Robert Kelly]

It weird that her vagina goes the other direction?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not true.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not gay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that's not true.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I swear to God, it's the same as all other vaginas. Yeah, she's Chinese, right? She Chinese.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, so she pees and cokes. Got you. Okay, Christine played up boundary to cross. That's in. Especially in today's day and age. Like, I don't know, maybe if you were drinking or something. I don't know, like I have never once been a person.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, look, man, I know back in the day we used to get shit faced and bite all these. But we can't do that anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

Days are behind us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My man Biden days is the best.

[Robert Kelly]

Time in Hollywood that went out with quaaludes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you could bite Goldie Hawn right in the elbow, no problem. Nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

Right on. Laughing. They had the makeup over all the bite marks on her ass.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How do you think Phyllis Diller got that face?

[Robert Kelly]

Constant Bukhaki. By the way, you don't want to mouth off on. Martin Cove's son's a big, huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's a big guy. Who's that little fat guy? Is that his agent?

[Robert Kelly]

That's the.

[Jacob]

Are those his sons?

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, dude, that would suck so much to be the other one. But you know what, listen, the family that gets. Gets boners together, right?

[Jacob]

He also looks so small there. Look, he shrunk.

[Robert Kelly]

This is my beautiful, amazing son. This is my fat turd. You know the DeVito and Schwarzenegger, the families drinking or something. I don't know. Like I have never once bit a person and I personally have been bit just in my line of work and it ain't fun. And I didn't work with them. I mean, now you've created this, this weirdness and potentially facing some, some legal, legal ramifications.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He didn't walk up to you and bite you in anger or rage. He bit you. You know, cuz, you know, you're a cute little Chinese girl. You know what I mean? I mean, how can you help yourself?

[Robert Kelly]

You think she's pissed off because he was hungry again a half hour later?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did that joke, but you did it better. Nobody laughed. Christine gave me a chuckle. I did it before I left and I was in queue. Thank you, mama. Thanks again.

[Robert Kelly]

I blew it twice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't worry about it, dude. You know what? When you do it, when you do it that Chinese hungry joke, 20 minutes later, you gotta do it again.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get it?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Jacob]

He gives him the answer. It's like he just say, yeah, I'm 80.

[Robert Kelly]

We.

[Jacob]

We bite women once for fun.

[Robert Kelly]

Sometimes I bite a.

[Jacob]

Leave this. I'll drop this, please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What was that word?

[Jacob]

Sometimes we bite people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this part of the. What is it called again? The ramp?

[Robert Kelly]

Ribblery. This is nothing to do with ribblery.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

Nowhere near the world. We have to remember the word ribblery because this is the Thursday show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So we have to remember next week that we really have to start getting people to tell us tales of ribaldry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I love ribblery.

[Robert Kelly]

People are calling me with their tales of ribblery.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or.

[Robert Kelly]

Or if they have any ribblery in their house. Maybe like an old, you know, ripple dre. Could be like Antiques Roadshow. Also ribbledry. Be people showing you old mugs and cups they have from the 18th century.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I came in this cup.

[Robert Kelly]

Ribaldry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not finding if has anybody. Is there any video of the actual biting incident?

[Jacob]

No, I think it was backstage, like when they were ready to come out or something like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I think is that. I'm sorry. I think what happened is they play around. They probably goof around all the time, and they. They messed around. He took it too far. Which happens when you plant you. The flirtation thing we were talking about on set. You know what I mean? You're not. Look, she's not gonna him, but you.

[Robert Kelly]

Probably show you what I'm picturing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, come here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought you're gonna do it now.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what? Jacob, get over here. I'm gonna do it on Jacob. I'm doing Jacob. Makes more sense.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I mean, it is your girlfriend that you live with, right?

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm saying. No, no, I'm saying it makes more sense because we're colleagues and the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. So play around a little bit. Let me get this on video.

[Robert Kelly]

I couldn't imagine Jacob going up to big gym.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hang on, hang on.

[Robert Kelly]

Wrapped in a fucking rape blanket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

If I did simply this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We're walking out. We're getting ready to go out, Right. He says, backstage, correct? Yes, somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So we're backstage, and he goes, all right, you ready to do this? He goes, ready, do it? Ah, come on, big guy. You know, like that. Yeah, that's what I was picturing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you left marks. Yeah. And then I go, I can leave more marks if you want, bitch. Those are the nice marks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that's what happened.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Telling Big Jim.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I think so too. That's what I'm reading is what's a bite?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, Jacob just got you fired for that. I have it on video. Jacob. $10,000 Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

That would be fucking awesome if you. If you took me down for that.

[Jacob]

Oh, I don't. I know it's wrong. I know he's in the wrong. I'm just looking at this.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I don't like this stance, by the way. I don't like the. I don't like this. The diagonal ass. The diagonal ass lean when you diagonal your own ass.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like it. His hands are in his pockets, thumbs sticking out, and he's only on one ass cheek. He's at the point where it's like, I'm gonna.

[Robert Kelly]

He's over it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's over it. He said he's sorry. I apologize. I up. But I think the problem is he. Yeah, she called him on it, and then he tried to her out of it. And that don't work anymore. You can't. You can't a chick out of. You know what I mean? Well, back in the day, you're like, shut the up. I'll get you fired off this thing.

[Robert Kelly]

I could out a chick, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't. You can't. Really? Yes. All right.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes. I would have not just eating this, like. Well, we have to hear what he says. I didn't hear his response yet. He's getting ready to talk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he just keeps being. I think he yelled at her and now he's.

[Robert Kelly]

She's coming back with camera now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. This is so fun.

[Martin Cove]

It looks like you get caught by me approaching.

[Robert Kelly]

You want to pause it. What if he was like, son, I'm gonna find out if she'll have sex with you while I watch and masturbate. And he goes, you're just going to ask her that? He goes, I'm gonna put out a fewer first. I'm gonna give her a little playful bite on the arm and see how she responds to that. Yeah, son, abort, abort. It's not going great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tell the fat son to leave too.

[Robert Kelly]

Fat son can't watch either.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, so that's what he did. He got mad. So it's a. It's a thing, though. It's like you do something wrong, kids do it. You immediately get mad at the person who's mad at you for you do something. Try to get them to be. Shame them out of their anger. But that wasn't happening with this chick. She's like, no, you went and got.

[Robert Kelly]

The cops so please, more video.

[Martin Cove]

Please do not bite me. Marty. That's not cool. For you to turn around in your ridiculous, ridiculous attitude to me and tell me. I'm offended that you would come to me. I'm outraged that you accompany me, sir.

[Robert Kelly]

That's weird. That is a weird response.

[Martin Cove]

I'm ashamed of you. Your behavior, it was childish and stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because he's the.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, so he. When he heard she was complaining.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

He went too big. He started going, you're mad at me. I'm mad that you would even make this an issue. So he tried to. Yeah. And get her to cower down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He tried to. He tried to alpha male her. I'm the star. I'm the star in the show you're coming in last two seasons. You.

[Robert Kelly]

You can tell by her accent too. She didn't grow up in feudal China where they tied up her feet and made her subservient. This chick got to the free land.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Over to Europe, it seems. England, Australia. Oh God, it's a prison colony out there. It's a free for all. Yeah, it's crazy. And that means that her ancestors were Asian murderers or something that were sent there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he's called.

[Robert Kelly]

She's a piece of shit biter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's number probably three on the call sheet. Yeah, she's number seven, ace. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's sharing a trailer with somebody. He's got like a double banger, you know what I mean? Or a single banger. She's in a triple banger. Or you know, one of those little honeycomb ones where she sticks her head.

[Robert Kelly]

No, we don't know. None of us know what you're talking about. Bobby, stop trying to brag that. You've been on so many.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry, dude, I'm sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought you knew about one of those honeycombs. How dare you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm in the movies. You have the first position. So when you get the script, like I've been number one on the call sheet. That's important.

[Robert Kelly]

And yet you sit here with me. Well, I'm 3pm on a fucking Tuesday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not saying it went well, but I've also.

[Robert Kelly]

And yet here we find ourselves with a disinterested Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A tired, cackling Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Tired, cackling Christine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And a swollen fingered Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

A swollen finger. Even our black friend won't hang out with us anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So there's, you know, there's the call sheet. You understand that? Who that is? So everybody has a position. And when you look on the call sheet if you're number one, they're going to get treated way better than number eight. Right. And you get a trailer to that. So most ones or twos get their own trailer. Right. And most sixes and sevens have to share a trailer with somebody else. A double banger is two trailers in one. A triple banger is three trailers in one. And the honey, whatever, the Honey wagons are like five trailers in one. For a lot of, you know, one day players where it's just a little bed and your head goes in the wall and there's no bathroom. Yeah. So. So she's probably, she's probably a, a triple banger sharing a trip and this guy thinks he's the shit and he tried to go, fuck you bitch. And she was like, whatever.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm thinking back to Z Rock. That's probably my highest. And I was 5, 5 on the call sheet always.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's great.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, not always. Season two, definitely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, five on the call sheet.

[Robert Kelly]

Season one. They didn't know I was going to be in the show so much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Top seven, Top eight is good, you know. Yeah, that's real. I was six on the call sheet. Six.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, you see, dude, they were just feeding me makeup artists to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby.

[Jacob]

You had a nice. Yeah, nice double trailer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've had a, I've had a double banger a couple times.

[Jacob]

So what's it like in there? It's nice, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you get it. When you get a double banger, you get your own bathroom. You get a TV radio, you get a recliner and a bed, like couch bed. And your wardrobe is put in there every morning so you don't have to go to wardrobe.

[Robert Kelly]

You could definitely bite a. You could certainly bite a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can bite a.

[Robert Kelly]

You could bite anyone you want on set.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Food.

[Robert Kelly]

I think if you're in top eight, you can find anyone you want to set.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you get a PA and they go, Mr. Kelly, do you want anything? And you tell them to go get your breakfast and they will, they'll bring you breakfast back to your trailer from.

[Jacob]

Craft service or they'll, they'll go to a shop and get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They'll go to catering or whatever you want, but usually catering that really. Catering and get you whatever you need, coffee or whatever, you know. Yeah.

[Jacob]

Nice life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Thank you for calling, Mr. Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

And yet here he sits with you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm here with you.

[Jacob]

What happened?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what happened.

[Robert Kelly]

What in the Christ happened?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tell you what happened. This happened in Hollywood.

[Jacob]

Everyone's got a phone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody's Got a phone.

[Robert Kelly]

The sun. The sun is confusingly in between turned on and also like, yo, stop humiliating my dad. Seeing his father like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you imagine? Put yourself in this one, Bobby. Max watching you get dressed down. You really can't do anything about it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's seen it.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. I remember that. Yeah. I remember several times guys threatened you in front of him, and you were like, jesus turned around. Jesus walked away. You have to tell him that. That's why you got religious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's why I got God. Yeah. This guy's son right now is so angry. His brow is. His brow is like, you're a.

[Robert Kelly]

Look how furrowed that is. He's got Klingon bumps.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But the chubby gay son, he's back there, like, I understand where she's coming from.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, dad, I keep telling you, your biting thing is going to get your ass busted one day. And here we are, of course. And now I have to watch it. And I'm getting a boner.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She comes off so over the top in this. Like, ridiculous. But I would. I wish she deserved it.

[Robert Kelly]

You heard it first. Christine thinks she deserved it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Some are deserving. I just wish there's video of the way he talked to her first. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, just seeing her dressing him down. And, you know, she was asking for it.

[Robert Kelly]

She was asking. By the way, it is her retelling. She goes, all I did was went to your son and said, hey, can you tell your dad he can't really bite me like that anymore? It's like that's her retelling of it. Whereas, like, she might have went over irate to the sun, screaming at him, and that's when he started yelling at her. Either way, I think Martin Cove should have handled this a bazillion times better. I tell you, if you're gonna bite her, kill her.

[Jacob]

Hands, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

Doing these. Animated, the whole thing. And she does perimeter hands.

[Robert Kelly]

And then she kicks through it because she's kicking down that door for all women. This.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is all what it is. She. He did it. She came at him. He was like, go fuck yourself. Relax, bitch. And she was like, what, motherfucker? And now she's coming back with all. She. She knows it, you know, you can't do that anymore. You can't bite. You can't buy bitches.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. I heard he fold. He put his hands in front, which is. Which is up. That is actually not cool to do. You shouldn't do that when she's mad at you. She goes, you bit me. Oh, you bit me. I can't believe you bit me. He should have been like, oh, you bite me back. And pull his wiener out here. Bite me back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bite my son while you're at it.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, if you wouldn't mind biting these two guys, too. Ooh, a little more lower.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She has some stupid script in her head, too. That's probably the rules and regular SAG regulations that she read up or no.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's the funniest.

[Jacob]

I think those are her bullet points. That her dressing down bullet points, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yes. And she's reading it like Kevin Bacon read the Bible in Footloose. And also, you broke code 462 of Comic Con.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would have loved to been in the circle with these three dudes right after she walks away, just to hear them go, this her.

[Robert Kelly]

I would have. If I was in the background, you would have seen me sit on one of the benches and start smoking. And I'd go, it's the only place you could smoke. And just keep looking back and forth. Whoa. You did her husband.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wonder. Her husband. I wonder if her husband's just some jack Chinese guy bring us such a dishonor.

[Jacob]

He's 60. Sebastian Roach. He's like an English actor. You've seen him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How old is she?

[Jacob]

37.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's 60. She's not into biting. Oh, he can't bite her teeth. His teeth will come out.

[Robert Kelly]

Why do I talk like this? So I'm about the guy now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's actually pretty good looking for 60. Jesus Christ. Sure. Wow. Those french fries, McDonald's.

[Robert Kelly]

And I'll be honest, I thought she was older than 37.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he is. What was he in?

[Jacob]

He's been in a lot of stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's an actor.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He can't. Fuck. He can't. He can't defend her. He has to just take it well.

[Robert Kelly]

If do right, no can defend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. He can't defend her.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, man. He's afraid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's gonna go. All he can do is dress her. He can dress him down worse than she did. Hey, man, you don't bite girls, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, man, Sensei John Kreese would fucking axe kick his shoulder off. Don't around. Oh, he was a MacGyver. I take it all back. He's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

SVU.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Jacob]

He's been in a ton of stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Only one episode. Svu. You got to be a really shitty actor to only get asked to be in one episode of Law and Order. You got to be real shitty for that. I'M not taking a shot at you. You've been on several. I know, I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I agree with you.

[Robert Kelly]

If you don't get asked back to. It's the most I heard. It's like, I auditioned once or twice, never got anything. And I never really auditioned that much. But if you're a regular auditioner, I've heard, you got to be pretty shitty to have never gotten anything on a Law and Order.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, because. Yeah, because they. They need to cast it immediately.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you literally audition, and within 12 minutes from leaving Chelsea Pierce, you either get the party, you don't.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's also one of those shows you might leave and they go, they're not having you be the landlord, they're having you be the deli guy. But it doesn't matter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And they bring in people. And once you're in the circle, you're kind of in it. And they'll try to find ways to put you in it. Yeah. Here's the thing with this guy. He is raging out right now. Inside his head.

[Robert Kelly]

He just wants to drink.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I bet he wants to fucking. He wants to really karate chop this chick. How much longer do I have to stand here for this?

[Robert Kelly]

This guy talked to a glass of whiskey that night. A lot. Where he was just spinning it and talking to it, even though people were with him. He's like, I don't know, man. It's not 1984 anymore. I'll tell you that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Back in the day, she's teaching him that biting's wrong. Like he's some crazy person that, like, came out of nowhere and bitter on the street.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like he knows biting's wrong. Like, you guys are being playful. It went too far. Like, Jesus Christ. You remember the time I kicked Rosie o' Donnell in the. On that movie set? Didn't say nothing. She took it. Nothing like a woman.

[Robert Kelly]

Time daily take a beating and just wear long sleeve sweaters. The other lady, it's not Cheryl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cheryl Ladd?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it wasn't Cheryl Ladd.

[Jacob]

Who was Lady Glass.

[Robert Kelly]

Sharon Glass, Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Doesn't kind of sound like she's talking to a dog. Like biting bad.

[Robert Kelly]

I know she's getting ready. She looks like she's ready to hit him with a newspaper.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think she got a pep talk from her silly husband? You go and you gotta say something.

[Robert Kelly]

The Sun. The problem tonight for Martin Cove is gonna be the muscular, handsome son. Is that because he's not all night. He's gonna his dad eventually is gonna go like, well, it is what it is. It's over. So like, let's just drop it. He's gonna be like that. Dude, the fucking. I wish I can get a hand on that fucking stupid 60 year old.

[Jacob]

Husband of hers, that is the son.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If she, if she disappears, we know what happens.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, dude. Yeah, the COVID boy went after go.

[Martin Cove]

Oh, you've pissed me off so much. I'm standing with him and I'm weighing what I want to do about this. What do I want to do about this? He doesn't know. He knows that when I get pissed, I get really pissed. And right now, Martin, pause it real.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it in movies, but nothing makes me angry in person than when a girl tells you if she gets to 10, look out. What are you gonna do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you gonna do?

[Robert Kelly]

You get me real pissed. What are you gonna do? What are you possibly gonna do? Like what you're thinking in your head is not what you can do to have that back you up. You go, when I get pissed, I get real pissed. And I, who I can call that will come here with baseball bats right now. Like you're saying it with the fury of that. But what you mean is, if I get pissed, I'm gonna punch you in the face. And you're like, no, that can't be the ultimate threat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the sun.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesse Cove.

[Robert Kelly]

Goddamn right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is he Captain America in a. In a shitty Captain America movie? Oh, Call of Duty warzone.

[Robert Kelly]

He's in a Call of Duty warzone commercial.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that a commercial or is that like a movie?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, a fan film maybe. Maybe it's a fan film. The COVID boy's doing fine.

[Jacob]

He also played dressing down guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he also plays guy who sits there idly while his dad gets treated like a. By an Australian Asian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, they are showing restraint. They're not saying word. They're very smart right now. Because the worst thing you could do is talk. Because what you really feel, what he really feels could squeak out, shut up.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to keep doing old man stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's what I said. I want to keep doing old man stuff. He goes, sweetheart, come over here and sit in my lap. I bet we could figure this out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you know, the cop wants to go, all right, relax. You man talk to the cops. Be like, not without my lawyer. Yeah, talking.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never bit anybody before. I don't know.

[Jacob]

Any word he says is going to extend the torture. Yeah, I'm sorry. Are you sorry?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jacob]

So he just knows. Let her go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I made a mistake. Did you?

[Robert Kelly]

Did you keep going, please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It probably really is. I guarantee she goes, how many other people have you bitten? How many other women have been through this?

[Robert Kelly]

I hope my bravery brings the others out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guarantee there's a bunch of other people. There's a bunch of other women that this creep has bitten over the years.

[Jacob]

She puts out a thank you for your support. Video after this.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

I want to finish this.

[Robert Kelly]

Are time. Christina, Tyne Daly and Sharon Glass alive. They're the first ones that are coming out of the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Julia Roberts has a video she's gonna put out. This creep bit her on that.

[Robert Kelly]

She goes, yo, Martin Cove. This guy never stops.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never stops biting people.

[Robert Kelly]

The girl who played Ally, Elizabeth, Elizabeth Shue is gonna pop up and be like. She's gonna be like, yeah. And then. And then the only one's gonna defend him is Johnny. This is only defender Johnny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think Johnny. Is Johnny gay?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You sure? No, I saw him.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I saw him at an airport dude with another dude.

[Robert Kelly]

And you were kissing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, but they had a. They had a. Like a.

[Robert Kelly]

Did he bite him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, they had a gay. They had a gay vibe. Like, I was like, I think these guys are a couple. I think they're together.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Because they were roller skating with hands in each other's back pockets.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, they weren't in an airport. No.

[Robert Kelly]

That's crazy. They weren't doing that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was, you know that vibe, like when somebody's so perfect dressed wise and they were kind of together, but they weren't. You know what I mean? Like me and you at an airport, there's a certain energy around. But there was like a we're a couple, like, we're together thing. I was like, I didn't know. He might be with dudes.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, look up if Johnny's gay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Can you look up if Johnny's gay? No.

[Robert Kelly]

Please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I get it. If he is, he's married.

[Robert Kelly]

So Jacob, Sharon Glass and Tyne Dale, you know if they're alive or not. I feel like Tyne Daley's dead.

[Jacob]

I think Tyne Daily.

[Robert Kelly]

And Sharing was, I think maybe both dead.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe Martin Cove killed him because they were about to come out. Oh, there's a conspiracy.

[Jacob]

She's 82. She's still kicking.

[Robert Kelly]

Who is Tyne Daley? Sharon Glass. But Tyne Daly, I think, passed. I want to say breast cancer.

[Jacob]

They're both alive.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I made that up then. And guess what? Christopher Cross is now a Pedophile. He never was accused of it either. I got that wrong once too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love this from somebody that says, you've handled it with such grace and strength and truth. There's no grace about this. She's a fucking maniac.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that was the husband.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is that the husband?

[Robert Kelly]

He's not gay. He's married to a woman, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, well, I misread their connection.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you just blew up his spot and let him know that he's going off for gay adventures on the side.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe he is. And maybe that's what I want.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell you what. I saw it. I saw him when I was in Florida last time because they were. The Comic Con people were staying at the same hotel I was. Yeah, and Johnny walked out and my gams were on full display. He didn't look over twice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he might not be into that type of awesome calf.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. An enemy deserves no mercy. What is the problem? Mr. Lawrence, now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By taking advantage of its national red.

[Robert Kelly]

Tag sales event going on right now through July 20th.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop by any of its participating communities.

[Robert Kelly]

And find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton Difference at Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton America's Builder and equal Housing opportunity builder. When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't drink at all until 4 o'.

[Robert Kelly]

Clock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night. Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks, a few nights a week, it can add up. And suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer and depression. Reason enough to rethink the Drink [e-mail] Noyche Initiative.

[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dad, stop. Stop.

[Jacob]

Stop right here.

[Martin Cove]

Or get DMs about what's for dinner. You may be experiencing tween milestones for your son or daughter. These can start at age 9. HPV vaccination, a type of cancer prevention against certain HPV related cancers, can start then too.

[Robert Kelly]

For most, HPV clears on its own. But for those who don't clear the virus, it can cause certain cancers later in life.

[Martin Cove]

Embrace this phase. Help protect them in the next. Ask their doctor today about HPV vaccination. Broug to you by Merc Sh Out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kill him. No place on this team for that kind of crap. I said out of here.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you looking at?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Back p let's go. This school sucks, man. I shut out of here sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

Welcome back to the bonfire faction talk. SiriusXM103 Big Joker and Robert Kelly and now Jacob, you son of it. What have you done? He's so upset about this Martin Cove thing. You can't let it go. All right? It's not you. It didn't happen to you. Let's get back to the video. I need more of this.

[Martin Cove]

You have left a mark on my body, which in your 80 year old brain you think is plain.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is what I sucks about. This keeps insulting him, calling him a 80 year old, which is kind of like a dick move. It's like we get it.

[Jacob]

78. Yeah, she had a couple of years.

[Robert Kelly]

That's on purpose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's a mean dick move.

[Robert Kelly]

That's really on purpose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we get it big time.

[Robert Kelly]

On purpose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's like a thing when you argue with somebody, they want you, that they want to trigger you. They keep insulting you subtly so you snap so that people can see the biter come out. Just runs over and bites her neck. That's what she's trying to do. She definitely wants to get him. She wants to get him because she's like, I want you to yell on camera like you Just yelled at me before. Right the way. Which I get, you know, you're like, man, I wish somebody had fucking taking a video of that. Yeah. Take your fingers and make those eyes you made when you. Are you mad cause I beat you? Oh, so sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

I said so sorry so many times.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How can you see me beat you? I don't even look at your eyes. But he is being very smart about all this. Yeah, he is. Just by fucking shutting up.

[Robert Kelly]

Give me more.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love that we're taking his side.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's make no mistake about this. What he did was wrong. But she is so unlikable and, like, there's no. I feel no thing to get behind her. I really. My thing would be on this. Like, he said he's sorry. He's an old doofus. Move on with your life. Stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He didn't break.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, what are you doing? He's like, we're trying to. Like you're Comic Con charges.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or don't but go away. But also, he bit you with fake teeth. How harsh.

[Robert Kelly]

Sometimes my dentures get away from me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

Here we go. Yeah, I could get you bitching about my bite marks. She likes to go to Comic Con. She says she's gonna see Boba Fett. Here we go. Is so funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why the you. Why would you.

[Robert Kelly]

Somebody would be a Comic Con in a Boba Fett costume. Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here we go.

[Martin Cove]

Of responsibility. Okay, by God, don't even try.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

How do we resolve the opposite 100%. Up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Up to you.

[Robert Kelly]

Pause again. Comic Con problems are funny, though. You're like, what happened? The new Swamp Thing bit me. It's always like, all your tragedies have happened from somebody. From hilarious things. The Iron Chic son raped me. What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The guy who plays Chewbacca touched my ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Chris Evans, lighting double for Captain America. Squeezed my tit in an elevator.

[Martin Cove]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, honestly, if it was another venue.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And another person, you probably look at all these old ladies, all these old people that have fans are coming up behind looking over at this nightmare happening.

[Robert Kelly]

He's about to tell him. Do you hear what he's telling him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, normally something like this would happen. I think he's telling Martin Cove. Right. Because normally you'd have an irate husband here coming after you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. But they got you this week. She's married to an actor where he's. He's just gonna come and berate you like her.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I wish. I wish he would he. Martin Cove, at 78, would rather fight her husband, who's 60, than deal with any of this for five more seconds. You are the victim.

[Martin Cove]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, honestly, if it was another venue and another person, you probably have a really irate husband to deal with too.

[Martin Cove]

That is my husband.

[Robert Kelly]

I know that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, I know.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I'm saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's a. He's just sitting there letting you be there. He's right there.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, why didn't your man take care of this? Oh, my God. Oh, him and her.

[Jacob]

This changes everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This changes everything, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, dude, she.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The.

[Robert Kelly]

He is. She dominates that house. He is so attracted to her. Cuz she's hot. He's so attracted to her that he deals with with every little bit. She's done this in supermarkets.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The cop doesn't. He's like, oh, this. This girl next to me is your husband. He's been sitting there the whole time. And this cop is like, listen, man, you're lucky her husband is here because you get the. Oh, this is your mouth over here.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, the gentleman over there wearing dress shoes and no socks.

[Jacob]

The guy said, normally there would be an irate husband here. No, that is my husband.

[Robert Kelly]

She goes, yeah. He goes, I know normally I'm saying they'd be irate, but for some reason this ninny's just sitting around waiting for.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This ass, checking his likes on Instagram. I just got two more likes, honey.

[Robert Kelly]

I just got a script for a new film.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Drew Barrymore just followed me.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at the person in the jazzy behind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they're all in the little scooters.

[Robert Kelly]

That's great, dude. That's Sato husband to deal with.

[Martin Cove]

That is my husband.

[Robert Kelly]

I know that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, I know.

[Robert Kelly]

That's my husband in the. In the jazzy back there, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He goes, I know, I know. No, you didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

The guy in the jazz gonna pull up. He goes, if that was my wife, I'd have dropped this. This guy's a bit of a. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm from the greatest generation.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, if someone bit my lady, I'd clobber you. Multiple jazzies.

[Martin Cove]

Because I gave you.

[Robert Kelly]

That's just another thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, received.

[Martin Cove]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't touch me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, don't touch.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he was about to touch her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He went to grab her arm and go, listen, don't turn away from me.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, a man's talking. Look me in the eyes. Open your eyes. I said open your eyes. Open your eyes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Open.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. Yes. I respect and took in what you said. Yes. Of what happened I'm not here to try and say what he did was right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

If anything.

[Martin Cove]

But I approached you calmly, and I told you privately I kept it private.

[Robert Kelly]

But now you've made it a whole to do so. What was the point of telling me calmly if you were going to go cartwheeling outside and yelling in front of a bunch of handicapped people that my. That my dad's a rapist?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's just a bit. Yeah, but this.

[Robert Kelly]

No, but this is. This. This scene is already bigger than what's happened.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, this. Dude, listen, we didn't see the scene before. This is the key. She was like, hey, man, tell your dad not to bite me anymore out on the floor. I just don't want that. And he said, dad, you can't. He's like, ah, that.

[Robert Kelly]

Bring her over, y'. All. Give her a slap. Straighten her out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, this guy's. You know, this guy's a racist piece of.

[Robert Kelly]

It's from a different time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no way this guy gives a. About. And he's a. He's definitely a piece of. And he flipped out. And then she came back and said, you and brought the cops. And now he's keeping his trap shut.

[Jacob]

She has never had a man talk back to her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Jacob]

Never.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Jacob]

This was a first. And, man, did that infuriate her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the first time a woman's talked back to this guy. Wait, does he start talking?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, maybe. Maybe he's in character. Maybe because, you know, he was in Vietnam.

[Robert Kelly]

John Kreese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

John Kreese. He was in Vietnam. He wouldn't take any of this.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's about to start talking. Talking, guys. Oh, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Let it go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is great.

[Robert Kelly]

And I told you that I would talk.

[Martin Cove]

I said we're just gonna have a quiet conversation with Marty. Wasn't even gonna involve Rick because Rick's busy. So we all went about this in adult way until a child came into the conversation and chose to throw a tantrum that he was being disciplined for an illegal action. Is that not right, Martin? Yeah. You have no legs.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me finish. Yeah, I'd like to say something. You got to get a word in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's trying to get. She knows. She knows where. Where this guy is. Where his. You know what I mean? And she's trying to get him back there. If she could just get him back to where he was. She wins every. She wins it all.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd like to start off by saying Confucius had less to say than this lady, I think.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I think the guy in the back with the backpack is just like a Comic Con handler. Yeah, he's not going anywhere. He's like, I'm watching.

[Robert Kelly]

Confucius understood economy of words more than this chick. Just to see and to apologize.

[Jacob]

I was coming into the green room.

[Robert Kelly]

To seek you out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus.

[Robert Kelly]

I was though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he grabbed me first and I.

[Jacob]

I wanted to know.

[Robert Kelly]

And I was thinking about that the whole time because look at the girl.

[Martin Cove]

Group therapy we must indulge in because, like, I'm having to do your emotional work because you weren't smart enough to say to me, babe, so sorry, I won't hug you again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She just said I had to do your emotional work. He doesn't even know what that fucking means.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what's interesting? You know what she just said that was interesting. Go back to make sure, like two seconds, she goes, you couldn't have said to me. You could have said to me, babe, I'm sorry, babe. Now if he would have just said I'm sorry right away, and it was, babe, I bet that would have been a problem.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Also been a problem.

[Martin Cove]

I'm having to do your emotional work because you weren't smart enough to say to me, babe, so sorry, I won't bite you again. That was really wrong of me.

[Robert Kelly]

It would have been if he said, she goes, you bit me hard. He goes, babe, I won't do it again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she's. She knows who he is, though. That's it. Babe, listen, Listen, doll face. Listen, doll face, listen. Hey, hey, chickadee. I would. I won't do it again. I'm sorry.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get you a little too show over here.

[Martin Cove]

We would have all had a nice day, but because of your inability to process your negative emotions, I have to stand here with the policeman.

[Robert Kelly]

Darling, I really want.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Darling.

[Robert Kelly]

That I'm ashamed.

[Martin Cove]

Good.

[Robert Kelly]

That I did something like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. And when you were both telling me this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got it. I really got it.

[Martin Cove]

You yelled at me. You yelled at me. You're the audacity.

[Robert Kelly]

School.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's got him. She's got. If she could just push him. If she could just stay on point. And she's about to let him off the hook. But if she can just stay on point and keep interrupting him and pushing him and call him 80 one more time, he's gonna crack it. Right?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, he's making the faces for sure of getting to like that. Doesn't matter what he says from here on out. Where you say, she's got him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And you're right. It's because the faces already say a lot. People are gonna go, he doesn't feel bad. He just wants her to shut the fuck up. And I'm like, yeah, he's starting to show that now. He's like, bitch. I don't know what else to tell you. Let's go to court.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me tell you right now. A woman's greatest technique that they use is interruption. No, it's not that. They, like, they interrupt. So if you start talking, if you did something wrong, Jay, say you did something wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you just start to apologize for it.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, listen, I fucked up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know you did. I know you did. But that's. That's what hurts me, Jay. So, I mean, right?

[Robert Kelly]

But I'm saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, I know. But you always just say, but I. I did. I get it.

[Robert Kelly]

I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you said, I get it. I get it. But you know what? It doesn't affect the way that it makes me feel.

[Robert Kelly]

But the thing is, I still tell you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, but you. Can I just. Can I just say something? Can I say something that when you do this, it really messes me? Yeah. Oh, okay. There you go. Now it's my fault.

[Robert Kelly]

Go back to your dojo with your goddamn family and get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's got him.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. God, please play it.

[Martin Cove]

Oh, how dare you.

[Robert Kelly]

You definitely should not have done that. When you are in the wrong.

[Martin Cove]

Yes, you are in the wrong.

[Jacob]

I understand.

[Martin Cove]

That's why I'm yelling now. And I'm stirring the pot. And it sucks, doesn't it?

[Robert Kelly]

I do understand why he started yelling right away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't get it. But that's why he is dumb as shit. He is an old piece of shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's an old piece of shit from back in the day. And he probably was drunk. He's probably like that dude who drinks during the day. Yeah, a little fucked up. I mean, he's wearing a tracksuit. He's fucking out of his mind.

[Robert Kelly]

And he's wearing a tracksuit top and tight jeans.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Pinky ring. This kid. This guy's from another generation.

[Martin Cove]

You could have bypassed this. Marty, don't ever piss me off like this.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm very sorry that I got angry because I was. I was indulging in something improper by doing that. And indulging is a weird word. I'm very sincerely sorry that not only did I get angry, but that I somewhat did something.

[Martin Cove]

My arm. Do you want me to hit you too?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, boy.

[Martin Cove]

The only reason I. I don't search. Cuz you are a senior Citizen. And I respect.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's going for it. She's going for it.

[Robert Kelly]

She's going for it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's going for it. Dude. She's going for the win.

[Martin Cove]

If you were 50.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you were my husband's age. No, he's 60. If. If you were my brother's age.

[Robert Kelly]

Jeez. If you were 50, I'd have decked you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's trying to get it.

[Jacob]

A few more times, and she did it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's gonna. Wait a minute. She's gonna do more. I think she's gonna do.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't hit you because you're a senior citizen. Wow. By the way, the son's gotta eat it, too. And the husband. The son should start threatening the husband.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at his hands. He can't make a fist.

[Robert Kelly]

Son should be like, the only reason I'm not beating up your husband because he's a senior citizen. Oh, this son really just took it all. An angry husband decking, too. Yeah, because that's.

[Martin Cove]

You should be thankful that I didn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If my husband was a man, then he'd be saying stuff to you, too, right now. But he hasn't said a word the whole time I've been yelling.

[Robert Kelly]

If my husband wasn't drinking a lime. Ricky. Like a fucking dandy over in the corner.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His husband, he hasn't said boo this whole time.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm her husband.

[Jacob]

He knows better.

[Robert Kelly]

Or when she goes. My husband's over there. He went. No, no, no. Don't get me involved.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you seen my ascot?

[Martin Cove]

Some lessons that you today.

[Robert Kelly]

I truly am sorry that I had that attitude. And I'm also very sorry that I did that. You got to agree, I didn't. You know, I'm sorry. But you got to understand, I have.

[Martin Cove]

Never disrespected your boundaries at work.

[Robert Kelly]

Kind of destroying friendships.

[Martin Cove]

Yeah, I've never disrespected you at work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he does. What is he going to do? I mean, what. What the. How many. But he does. He. Up. He knows he. Up, up.

[Robert Kelly]

We fucked up. Here's the thing. The bite was stupid. It seems like it could have ended at her. Just like she said something to the son. You went over there. The fact that he went and started bitching at her right away is pretty fucking crazy. So it's like. And you just did that to the wrong chick because this chick's gonna make it like the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But she did it. She did it. She wears the pants.

[Robert Kelly]

He's a dummy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The husband is. He yelled at her in front of the husband, and the husband didn't grab him by the. By the neck.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because if somebody yelled at dawn like that in front of me. First of all, if you said the guy bit me, I'd be like, who.

[Robert Kelly]

The fuck gotta go say something about that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go say something about that. And if he yelled at me, I would pull that shirt over his head and fucking hockey punch him right in the face. And there you go. But even when he yelled, he didn't say no.

[Robert Kelly]

He's just eating it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's just.

[Robert Kelly]

Honey, get the police. Good. You really.

[Martin Cove]

Everyone's having a nice bit me. It's insane, man. It's insane. When have we ever done this on set? Never.

[Robert Kelly]

Actually, what she's holding is pretty gross. It's her money pouch from like signing stuff and everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

And it's got her name on. Yeah.

[Martin Cove]

And now we're standing here like this because you decided to defend your actions as pretty empty play.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

There are rules and boundaries that you do not cross. And we also don't call them as laws.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm a senior saying it right now.

[Robert Kelly]

You are not free to go. I have to speak with her privately about how we're going to proceed because you are. You're. You're right now you committed a crime.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And we're gonna figure, oh, what an cop. We get it.

[Robert Kelly]

I really so do not. Do not interpret it as a crime. I'm sorry that it's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut up, dude. Stop talking.

[Robert Kelly]

The interpret is a crime is not going to ever work. Good. I'm sorry that you find my love making to be a crime.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This Clark second doesn't know that he's in 2025.

[Jacob]

You're there. This is it. He broke. You finally got him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She got him. Do you see her turn away? Go mother fight. You done?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. She goes, oh, thanks. It's a cr. Go. Last few seconds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God. Day and age.

[Robert Kelly]

You cannot bite someone.

[Martin Cove]

It's not interpreted as a crime. You have to learn English. It's not a crime. We're standing with an office because I'm so mad. He can take you away in handcuffs. It's not interpreted as a crime. You committed a crime.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Holy balls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm never. It must suck to be in anything anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't with women.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you just like back in the day. I mean, I think it sucks for women too, because Christine back me up on this. Isn't it kind of cool to flirt and, you know, bite and pull hair? Choke. Aren't you into that?

[Robert Kelly]

Are you into like choke play at work?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not particularly. I know I worked in restaurants. The restaurants are very flirtatious. An environment like this, like. I'm glad that there aren't a bunch of guys calling me sweetie in the hallway or sweetheart or whatever. Listen, darling, bring my dates up anyways. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, cupcake. Where's Bobby gonna be? Oh, Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine, July 25th and 26th. He will continue to add shows until they don't sell out, Billy Joel style. He will stay there for a month if it takes. If the shows keep selling out, it will be Saturday. Maybe the longest record residency ever in one place. It's a small club, so I think we can fill this thing 20, 30 times over. I will be gone Saturday and Bobby will continue to stay. He'll do the show remotely while he's taking care of the shows at Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine. July 25th and 26th are the first two days, but let's see where it goes from there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You make me pee.

[Robert Kelly]

Rochester. After that, Tampa. Emouse Pa. Also an emouse. Bobby will continue to do a residency there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know where it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't even know where it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Pennsylvania.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, but where?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. But you're gonna get. You're gonna let be able to tell us a lot about it after you have a fucking 17 show run over three months. It's amazing. They never stop selling out for tickets. And all tour dates go to punch up that live Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Big G Okasin is gonna be at the Comedy zone in Charlotte, July 11, and the 12th. After that in Tacoma, Los Angeles, Sacramento. For all of the Tickets go to bigj comedy.com sweetheart. Scroll it down a little bit so I can read that YouTube.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, Princess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's down. Back up, back up. There you go. YouTube.com BigJokerson oh, look.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, look at the dingbat was able to do the right thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you know they. Them. You know who they are, right? His specials are up there.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where is it? It's by Bethlehem. Oh, I like that.

[Robert Kelly]

You do? That's where you got molested.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that was Ben. Sam. I know I didn't get molested.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Jesus Christ, Bobby. I didn't mean the judge of a real memory. Jacob, what are you doing? Are you writing the things you would have said if you were Martin Cove in your notes? I would have said to that. It's been a great week. We'll catch you guys Monday.

[Martin Cove]

Oh, wait.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Happy fourth. Happy fourth, everybody. I love stand beside her and guide.

[Robert Kelly]

Her when life brings the blah Add.

[Martin Cove]

More yabba dabba doo with some tasty fruity Pebbles early morning meeting blah someone brought the Pebbles Yabba dabba doo Run errands blah Head to the store for Pebbles Yabba dabba doo Fruity Pebbles Less blood, more yabba dabba doo Pick up Pebble cereal today Yabba dabba doo and the Flintstones and all related characters and elements Copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Going.

[Martin Cove]

Up Prices keep going up these days it feels like being on an elevator that only goes up.

[Robert Kelly]

Going up. But not at Metro.

[Martin Cove]

We're pushing the down button. Going down, we've lowered prices. Get one line of 5G data for $40 period. That's 20% lower and you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number. Only at Metro. Five year guarantee on eligible plans exclusion supply. See website for details. Not available FAB Metro with T Mobile in the past six months tax supplies.