The Busybody App

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: The Busybody App
Date: March 18, 2026
SiriusXM Faction Talk Channel 103

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive headfirst into the latest drama swirling through the stand-up comedy podcast scene, dissecting a notorious on-air meltdown by comedian Chad Zumak. The hosts riff with their signature unfiltered, self-deprecating wit on everything from podcast beefs and behind-the-scenes e-drama, to natural disasters, the quirks of livestream donation culture, and the obsessive tendencies of neighborhood “busybody” apps. The show is a freewheeling, irreverent look at both the bizarre subcultures of comedy and everyday absurdities.

Tone: Candid, raunchy, rapid-fire banter, peppered with affectionate roasting and real camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chad Zumak’s Podcast Meltdown & Comedy “Wrestling”

[01:11–07:50]

• The Fallout:
  Jay and Bobby break down Chad Zumak’s infamous, slur-laden tirade on a rival podcast, focusing on how drama and manufactured feuds are often “podcast wrestling”—more spectacle than hate, until lines get crossed.

  • “It’s 100% wrestling. But when you start calling somebody’s wife a bunch, you’re looking to have somebody hate you.” – Jay [06:34]
  • “It’s podcast wrestling, where there’s no holds barred.” – Bobby [06:42]

• On Pushing Boundaries:
  The comedians reflect on where “working the bit” stops and actual personal offense begins.

  • They recall Zumak’s feud with Gino Bisconte, mocking the escalation (“he just kept saying his wife sucks at comedy… then he went hard end.” – Jay [03:18]).

• Comedy Community Dynamics:
  Conversation about Chad and Gino’s relationship, the effect of “playing” enemies for the internet, and who among their extended network could actually fill in as the “third mike” on Legion of Skanks.

  • “Which of those three, if any, takes that job?” – Jay [08:05]

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2. Livestreaming, Digital Donations, and “Digital Begging”

[08:43–10:00]

• Chat Payments:
  The guys lampoon the practice of getting paid via live chat donations, with Jay expressing both embarrassment and envy at comics who “bank up their money” this way.
  • “Nothing makes me feel sloppier than when someone goes ding, $99. ‘Hey, why don’t you ever come to Montreal, pussy?’ It’s like, I have to read that now…” – Jay [09:11]
  • “Digital bagging. He doesn’t want to do it, but he would love for you to start.” – Bobby [09:35]

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3. Studio Temperature Wars & Science vs. Preference

[11:10–23:39]

• The “Cold Room” Debate:
  An extended riff on who controls the SiriusXM studio thermostat, who gets cold first, and why it matters. Jacob (producer) becomes the target of playful roasting.

  • “Jacob should make more money. He’s the most cold producer since Baba Booey.” – Jay [13:20]
  • “You don’t verbally do it. You just do it with a fucking blanket, a hoodie, a jacket, and a shiver everywhere.” – Bobby [13:07]

• Christine’s Role:
  Christine, the show’s assistant/tech, admits she’s the one frequently tweaking the temp.

  • “As a person that controls the thermostat, I do pin it. But when it starts to feel like, oh, it’s chilly in here, I move it up…” – Christine [22:30]
  • The debate is closed in classic Bonfire fashion: “No more temperature talk!” [23:33]

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4. Comedy, Relationships & Gendered Reactions

[23:58–26:44]

• Women’s Instincts & Drama Escalation:
  Jay and Robert analyze “female reactions” (“shrieking”/ making things worse in a crisis) versus men’s calm, contrasting Christine’s alarmed warnings when Jay crosses the street.
  • “Female dumb reaction. Make things worse.” – Jay [24:34]
  • “When guys get into fights, the girls always grab the guys’ arms. Not Christine, she runs the other way.” – Bobby [25:00]

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5. Natural Disasters in New York (Earthquakes, Tornadoes, and Floods)

[26:44–33:20]

• Recent Earthquake:
  Robert reports feeling a rare Westchester, NY earthquake; Jay and Bobby swap stories of experiencing quakes and floods, with Jay reflecting on losing all his clothes to flooding and the misery of the aftermath.

  • “Flooding’s the suckiest one because… it’s all wet. It’s there, it’s just fucking ruined.” – Jay [31:35]
  • “You have to go back and… smells like shit.” – Bobby [31:43]

• Natural Disaster Humor:
  Discussion of tornadoes—especially wanting to see livestock fly, joking about houses being set back down by God, and the dangers of NYC “tornadoes,” referencing odd weather events.

  • “Sometimes it goes through a pond and sucks all the fish up and all the fish fall and it’s just raining fish.” – Robert [32:38]

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6. “Busybody” Apps and Suburban Surveillance Culture

[39:29–43:53]

• Neighborhood Watch Apps:
  Hilarious reading of real “Ring camera” app comments—paranoid, petty, nosy messages from locals about noise, police sightings, “suspicious” people, and general busybody behavior.

  • “I can never imagine doing that or caring that much… let me let my neighbors know I saw some cops coming down the street. Who gives a—” – Jay [42:27]
  • “It’s his own little social media… it’s your fucking doorbell.” – Bobby [41:16]

• The TaskRabbit Misfire:
  A user posts an odd “task rabbit” question on Ring, and others reprimand him for being off-topic.

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7. Machine Gun Kelly, Stage Mishaps, and Fatphobia

[44:07–57:51]

• Analyzing Viral Videos:
  Jay introduces a viral video of Machine Gun Kelly bringing fans onstage, including a chubby girl who falls through a gap, prompting a long string of fat jokes.

  • “There’s nothing worse than when a chubby girl gets her moment, starts feeling sexy, and then does everything… fatly.” – Jay [44:18]
  • “She’s muffin-topping in baggy pants.” – Jay [45:18]
  • “I do appreciate he worked the lyrics – are you ok? – into it.” – Jacob [48:50]

• Personal Embarrassments:
  The hosts and Christine share painful stories of falling or being excluded due to weight (kayaks, wetsuits, wave runners, failed attempts to climb back on stage), highlighting their self-deprecating humor.

  • “If I was in a wetsuit, I’d be a baby orca.” – Jay [53:40]
  • “If you fall and then roll to the side and jump up on your knee, and then pop back up, you’re like, that’s fine. That’s how people fall.” – Jay [60:00]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comedy Beef:
  “It’s wrestling to some degree… but I mean, you call somebody’s wife a bunch, you’re looking to get in the way.” – Big Jay [06:34]

• On Digital Donations:
  “Nothing makes me feel sloppier than when someone goes ding, $99. ‘Hey, why don’t you ever come to Montreal, pussy?’” – Big Jay [09:11]

• On Thermostat Control:
  “As a person that controls the thermostat, I do pin it… when it’s chilly in here, I move it up a little…” – Christine [22:30]
  “No more temperature talk!” – Jay [23:33]

• On Neighborhood Apps:
  “This is the app for your doorbell… I can never imagine doing that or caring that much.” – Big Jay [42:13–42:27]

• On Falling & Fatphobia:
  “There’s nothing worse than falling fat. Falling fat. Because when you get down, you have to… use physics.” – Robert Kelly [59:51]

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Important Timestamps

• Chad Zumak’s Podcast Meltdown: [01:11–07:50]
• Digital Donations, “Digital Begging”: [08:43–10:00]
• Thermostat / Studio Temperature Wars: [11:10–23:39]
• Women’s Reactions & Fight Escalation: [23:58–26:44]
• Natural Disasters in NY (Earthquake/Tornado): [26:44–33:20]
• Neighborhood “Busybody” Apps: [39:29–43:53]
• Machine Gun Kelly Stage Fall & Fat Jokes: [44:07–57:51]
• Personal Embarrassment/Falling Stories: [53:16–61:00]

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Episode Takeaways

• The Bonfire remains a riotous inside view of the modern comedy scene, exposing its performative feuds, emotional volatility, and all the insecurities that drive comics.
• Jay and Bobby’s chemistry is as sharp as ever, balancing unrelenting insult comedy with genuine insight and mutual understanding.
• Everyday absurdities—whether it’s obsessive use of doorbell surveillance apps, pointless arguments over room temperature, or reliving old humiliations—are prime fodder for their relentless, confessional humor.

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This episode is a testament to why The Bonfire has become must-listen radio for anyone curious about the inner workings (and unique dysfunction) of contemporary stand-up culture.

Transcript

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with big j okerson and robert kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you I singing.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Between the line

[Big Jay Oakerson]

For Bob's eyes only Only for you. You see what no one else can see Looking at my wean with your eyes only only for my eyes.

[Robert Kelly]

Black Lou.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he's drunk with it, Bobby. Only for you. My penis is for your eyes only. N word. The N word fit in there.

[Robert Kelly]

The N word fits everywhere. According to Chad Zumak, it fits in the whole sentence.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Not my daughter. They don't fit there.

[Robert Kelly]

They almost did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

N word don't fit there.

[Robert Kelly]

They came close.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She came out.

[Ad Read Announcer]

My ball.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's my ball.

[Robert Kelly]

That dude lost his mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Chad Zumar pulled a Michael Richards on. On the podcast in the dabble verse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did he?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he snapped at Gino.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I saw them going. But does he say what he say?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, bring it up. It's.

[Ad Read Announcer]

He says.

[Robert Kelly]

He just says it over and over and over and over again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

To the. It's funny because this is why you love the Internet. Somebody took it where he was on a podcast with Godfrey and it's Godfrey talking. And then they just have his voiceover and it's just him saying what to saying that. Good, good. Over and over and over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Pauses for a second.

[Christine]

Right?

[Robert Kelly]

It's. Yeah, yeah. That's not it. He's in a group. He's an oh, I just almost spilled my sausage tea. It's in a group chat. He. I mean, he. I mean, it was crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I saw him coming. I saw a part of the podcast where he kept coming back on and freaking out. Gino. He kept yelling the Gino. He kept saying he's insulting his wife hard.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he's hitting her with a couple

[Robert Kelly]

of doozies that wasn't working. So he went hard end.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that what it was? Well, yeah, because Gino, he's like. He kept saying his wife sucks at comedy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Over and over again. Then he started calling her a.

[Robert Kelly]

And then he went, right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then he points out, she. Lewis.

[Robert Kelly]

Did she?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what he said.

[Robert Kelly]

Who didn't? Sean, probably.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In my mind, probably. She probably did, but I don't know that to be a case.

[Robert Kelly]

Allegedly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I said, that's an easy one to just say, though. You go, did your girlfriend fuck Louis J. Gomez goes, man, she may have, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she might have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I haven't thought about it yet. I don't know what the magnetism the guy has that I just see, no matter what, he's got a girlfriend. Currently, he's. Last night makes me uncomfortable. He talks to the new waitress. The new waitress is so fucking hot. He goes, yo, you want to fuck? She walks over and goes on the show. She walks over. She goes, you know what's funny? Because everyone's saying that we should. That's a total thing. I'm like, what the fuck just happened? Yeah, I was gonna be. My thing was going like, lewis, don't talk to the fucking staff like that, you weirdo.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a gentleman, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And gentlemen's finish last.

[Robert Kelly]

Gentleman's finish last, my friend. And they get the least amount of pussy. Pieces of shit get the most pussy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Good for him.

[Robert Kelly]

It's so funny because we were outside,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

he's like, suck my dick, you bitch. And she's like, can I?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes. Yeah. It's a technique.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop talking about it and start doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

This would be my technique.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I notice you're not sucking my mouth the more you talk.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I keep hearing you yammer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, I can't tell. Are you able to talk with my cock in your mouth? Cause I hear a lot of talking and not a lot of cock in mouth.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I can get my own drink. I just want you to put this in your mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God. Everyone's saying that we should do that. It was wild.

[Jacob]

That's maddening.

[Robert Kelly]

It's funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was wild.

[Robert Kelly]

You were outside. We were talking in the elevator about how women stink and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not you, Christina.

[Robert Kelly]

Not you, Christina.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All of you as well.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, here it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

General. All of you in general?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Like, as a. As a group.

[Christine]

And yet you do everything for us. Your entire lives are just to please us.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I just say something? Her awareness is enlightening. I. I really appreciate that Christine, her awareness is really. It's a. It's a shining light and it makes me feel good. You're right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Keep going, Christine. I would never say awareness is one of Christine's strongest suits.

[Robert Kelly]

Not shining light.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Awareness would be what I was accuser of.

[Robert Kelly]

Here it is right here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nick Schwartz's opening act, Chad Zoom, where they post that is pretty funny, goes on unhinged tirade, slur filled, rant repeatedly yelling the N word. And Death wish is at a rival comic.

[Robert Kelly]

There's no way that this podcast is going to end other than this N word, maybe. These guys are crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's Dave, Sarah?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know Stevie Lou used to hang out skanks all the time.

[Robert Kelly]

That's Kevin. It's Kevin up there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kevin Bren, obviously. And then Gino Bisconche on the left.

[Robert Kelly]

Non stop Gino.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love me some Gino. And then Chad Zumak, who I just was with in Tampa a few months ago. I did side spritzers for the first time. He came and hung out, and he hung out at the Kalta thing with us. And it's the same thing where I'm like, I said to him almost, it bums me. Some of it bums me out, goes, it's wrestling to some degree, right, Chad? I'm like, you and Gino, everybody hates each other this much. And then you guys are friends, and then you and he kind of like. I thought he was kind of giving me a wink of like, it is sort of wrestling. But I mean, I mean, this is

[Robert Kelly]

like, it's 100% wrestling. He showed up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know about wrestling. You call somebody's fucking wife a bunch, that's. You're looking to get in the way. You're looking to have somebody hate you.

[Robert Kelly]

It's podcast wrestling, where there's no holds bar.

[Ad Read Announcer]

He.

[Robert Kelly]

He came to my show with a shirt that says I hate Chad Zumak. He goes, hey, I got a shirt for you. I go, dude, I don't hate you. Yeah, I don't want that dumb shirt. I don't hate you. I just, you know, why you're here. He's one of those guys that just shows up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, no, without a doubt. But I mean, you know, he's what's like. It's one of those things. He lives in the town, though. He doesn't just show up kind of everywhere. He shows up in Florida.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not Craig Gas.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why are you in Alaska Flyer miles? No, for sure. But he's like, he lives in Florida, so he shows a bear.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Place I see him is in Tampa. But, like, he's.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like if I'm not. If I don't talk to you, we're not friend friends. And you show up at my gig,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

it's like, you know, I get along good with. With Chad, right? Bullshit with him.

[Robert Kelly]

I get along with him. I don't know about friend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I'd say I'm more friends. Gino I just have a longer history with. I mean, I've known Gino.

[Robert Kelly]

I like Gino, too, but I've never had him on. I'll never have him on a show because he doesn't shut the fuck up. I love him to death.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave Smith feels that way too.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I love him. He won't talk. He won't stop talking, which is hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now we're gonna make him third mike on Legion of Skanks.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that would be so good. Please let him fill in one day. Just one day. Make it your choice. You should have your choices for the first three should be Geno, Chad, and Brennan. Between those three, that should be your three first choices.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Which of those three, if any, takes that job?

[Robert Kelly]

All three.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Third Mike, Legion. Kevin, Brennan. Absolutely not.

[Robert Kelly]

100.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He would not.

[Robert Kelly]

Once you told him how much he was going to get paid, he would.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Oh, maybe.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, he lives in Atlantic City. He's on a zoom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does he?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Do a show with Gino and Chad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He doesn't live in Atlantic City.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he lives out near there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like far. Yeah, Margate or something.

[Robert Kelly]

Some crazy place out there. You gotta take a bus, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know what I mean? Oh, so he's nowhere near the city anymore?

[Robert Kelly]

No, not in the city. I don't see him in the city any. Ever. I never seen him. No spots.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think he does stand up much anymore. I think he's doing just this. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I think this whole world they created is working out where they make enough money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's in those things that I told people to not do with me. It's like the people paying in the chats.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's how they bank up their money. I think.

[Robert Kelly]

I think maybe advertising called digital begging you. Yeah, yeah. Which I suggest. Jay says, don't do it. But off air, he's like, I wish they would, you know, throw me something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's. I say that?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, you told me not to say that. But you were like, hey, not for nothing, but I am doing this. And it is a talent. And I wish that they would throw me something. Maybe 10, 25 bucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing makes me feel sloppier than when someone goes ding, $99. Hey, why don't you ever come to Montreal, pussy? It's like I have to read that now. Like I don't understand the thing. I go, you can just write that in the chat and not give me two bucks.

[Robert Kelly]

You're right. You don't want the two bucks. It should be around 10 to 25.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

50$.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Digital bagging. He doesn't want to do it, but he would love for you to start. Just so he can afford the lighting and the setup. And Dylan. He has to pay for Dylan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So do you have to pay for Dylan?

[Robert Kelly]

You do have to pay for Dylan.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dylan is not cheap. He is Jewish.

[Robert Kelly]

You got it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He is a Jewish boy. That I'm paying for.

[Robert Kelly]

Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A Jewish slave costs a lot more than, dare I say, an ethnic slave. Sorry. Those are just the cold hard facts of the world, baby.

[Robert Kelly]

Try having a white slave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Impossible.

[Robert Kelly]

It's true.

[Jacob]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I should have done that for Kevin Hart. I really should have. White slave for Kevin Hart. In hindsight, he really should have carried

[Robert Kelly]

his Louis bags around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the fuck is my ego? I can't fucking bring the car around and make sure his dry cleaning's done right? I'm so fucking great.

[Robert Kelly]

Make sure you do eight and a half minutes in front of him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm too good to fucking keep. Make sure his cup is always full. That I can't get myself a custom car for a gift. That he shows everybody on camera in front of me.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't make sure that goblets in his hand right when he gets off stage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn. Do you remember? That's the best. That was a funny line to remember it when I had two beers and you have two beers. Is that so you can give it to Shane when he gets off stage? Dude, if I was going to be somebody's bitch, I would have done it years ago for Kevin Hart. These are both for me.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I say that to you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. What are you going to give him his first beer when he gets on stage? If I was going to be someone, someone's that have been for Kevin Hart years ago. I missed the ball on being someone's.

[Robert Kelly]

I almost took that beer out of your hand and handed to Shane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mr. Shane. Mr. Gillis.

[Jacob]

Your beer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your fresh beer.

[Robert Kelly]

Mr. Gillis. Here you go. Bud Light, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hope you notice it's Bud Light, your favorite brand I got you zins, too. I heard you like zins. I got peppermint and spearmint because. I don't know. Some people like different kinds.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. Oh, it's hot in here. You put the heat up, didn't you?

[Studio Technician/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You did? Is it up? Was it up?

[Jacob]

Don't worry. Christine will take care of it.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, was it up?

[Christine]

It was up a little bit. I don't think it was.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I tell you, he goes over there as soon as we leave.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

80 degrees outside.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't know because you hibernate.

[Jacob]

I always fascinated when you say that. It could be 200 degrees outside. I don't know what that has to do with the studio temperature.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The temperature that your body is that you want to be.

[Jacob]

Your body's the outside. What? Your temp. Your body temperature was outside.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. I'm not coming in. Are you crazy? I'm absolutely not walking in the room free. Right. We come in from the outside and come and start the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I say something? How dare you talk to science like that? Are you. I mean, everybody in this room knows not to do that.

[Ad Read Announcer]

You don't.

[Jacob]

I'm asking a scientific question.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, ask the question a little nicer because that's.

[Jacob]

But I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to ask it nicer, but I mean, this seems like just basic ideas of life. If. When you come in from freezing cold weather, you would like the room that you're in to be hot, warmer, if you're coming in from warm weather, it's. You'd like it to be a little bit cooler.

[Jacob]

I'm not opposed. Yeah?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You seem baffled by the concept of air conditioning.

[Jacob]

No, it's not that. It's just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think it should.

[Jacob]

It's a matter of how much. No, you know, I don't like that. I think that's your. You. You make me out to want that, but want what? He thinks that he. He makes it like I want the. The heat pinned in here. I don't. That would be horrible.

[Robert Kelly]

Family.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you all right today?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I am.

[Robert Kelly]

You sure?

[Jacob]

I mean, I'm myself.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. You're fan.

[Jacob]

Everything's fine. Everything's what it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I also don't pitch about the room temperature at all.

[Jacob]

I. I don't bring it up.

[Robert Kelly]

I do.

[Jacob]

I'm just the one that's.

[Robert Kelly]

I do.

[Jacob]

Right. But I never thought. I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't.

[Jacob]

I leave the room anyway.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't verbally do it. You just do it with a fucking blanket, a hoodie, a jacket, and a shiver everywhere.

[Jacob]

No, that's not for you. That's. That's the real me.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay? She put. That's why he goes to sleep. He goes. He freezes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob should make more money. He's the most cold producer since Baba Bowie. No, Gelman. This guy's a Gelman involved.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that from. I don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That Gilman was from Regis and Kathy Lee, you know, But I don't know because he never came out. And he goes, guys, can we make the studio warmer? I'd like it warmer.

[Jacob]

I don't say that.

[Robert Kelly]

Stop flexing your sexy calf. On video, they just flex, dude. You know, that camera's coming by.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They just do what they do.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you know, when that camera's coming

[Big Jay Oakerson]

by, they just do what they do.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby, look at black, loose Scorsese over there. Slow fade out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tag it onto this. Clip it.

[Robert Kelly]

Clip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Farm it now. So this is Kevin Bren's podcast. This is. I assume they're all still talking about. This is all in the wake of the drama. This is all dabble verse stuff at Rodney's.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When they had a Stuttering John show, he only did 8 minutes of reading Anthony's police reports.

[Robert Kelly]

Anthony got arrested, got taken out by the cops.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is. He went back in. He introduced Stuttering John.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he got taken out and was out for the show. He got taken out after the show. He went in and you do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

During the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Got taken out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They get him during the show? Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

They got him. Yeah, they got him and took him out and then. But he was in the show for Stuttering John. He only did, like five minutes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that's what I'm saying. He was removed during the show. Yeah, after it started. And then he came back. He was back in before John. He was back in, went and talked to the cops. He introduced Stuttering John.

[Robert Kelly]

Whatever. I'm not getting into it. Science, dude. I ain't fucking with science today, dude. We're fighting. We're fighting over semantics. Let's get to him flipping out and saying the N word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. So Kumia. He got. Anyway, he had the thing with the cops. He slapped the guy in the chops.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you mean to rhyme that or is that just in you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's just in me.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He slapped the guy and then the cops came. Whatever Stuttering John went up did at the time. I guess Geno and his wife are on. We're on the show also. They work with Stuttering John. I Guess a lot.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There are his openers.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Host and feature, I would assume. See and see. And I guess at that show, Gino's wife didn't do very well. They keep pointing out that making videos of that, which is pretty funny. I mean, for anybody. I'll reserve any of my personal opinion. Gives a shit.

[Robert Kelly]

We made fun of your funny. Your chick for five weeks on this show with her stand up, so.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah. She only tried, but she's not aggressively trying it still.

[Robert Kelly]

If Don tried to do stand up, I'd have that video in here the next day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But that was, you know, that was. We watched two of Christine's 20 times. I don't know Gino's wife's comedy. Obviously, the clip that keeps showing is her having a hard time that night for sure, because I didn't know he

[Robert Kelly]

was married until now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keanu.

[Robert Kelly]

So they were on a. So it was Kevin, Gino, Zumak, and then two other dudes. I guess they're involved in all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stevie Lou is, I think, with Kevin Burson. He used to be a skanks. Like, he was always at skanks.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was a nice enough guy, but I think he also kind of jumps into the character of the show he starts. He gets in wars with people a bunch, too. He's usually a guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe he does comedy. I don't think so.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. But I guess they went at it and he just. He wasn't hurting Gino. It's hard to hurt Gino, you know, because he doesn't care. Yeah, it's hard to hurt him. So he just kept saying stuff that would hurt him, and I guess it wasn't enough. Should I try to censor this live? Because the listener is going to hear the N word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I'm not saying it. No, I'm talking about a bad person saying bad things.

[Robert Kelly]

I just want to throw beeps over it sloppily.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you missed that one. All right. Beep, beep.

[Jacob]

Come on, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Just. Just play the beep

[Christine]

all white.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not gonna curse. Geno's cleaning it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why is Geno's mic so bad?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think he has a mic.

[Jacob]

I think I didn't realize the severity of this.

[Robert Kelly]

I told you. And when Lou said I should be Bob, I said, go ahead, you should.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

I think I got most of it. I think you got.

[Jacob]

You really didn't.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, you got none of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What's the. I don't understand the problem.

[Robert Kelly]

We just make it in a problem so it's funnier, that's all. Because we're broadcasters and you know. You know the N word's coming. Might as well try and.

[Jacob]

Yeah, soften the blow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. Sure. Soften the blow. But Jacob's freaking out. What's happening?

[Robert Kelly]

He's probably just cold. Oh, Jacob freaks out. Jacob. Jacob's cold and he freaks out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It never helps comedy when someone's going, ah. Oh, God, Jacob, you are uncomfortable to be do comedy around.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's extraordinarily true. You do laugh. Good. But you're the only person who's ever fallen asleep while looking at me while I'm talking. It's batshit crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. Most of our guests don't even know you're here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We have to drop that argument that you haven't fallen asleep. We've watched it. We filmed it once, twice.

[Procurement/Grainger Advertiser]

The therapist.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Jacob and my therapist both fell asleep on me.

[Jacob]

That's why you won't go to Sarah.

[Christine]

That's why you quit there.

[Robert Kelly]

Because he fell asleep. This.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

First of all, I didn't quit comedy or I didn't quit therapy. She quit therapy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she quit you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she goes. He quit therapy because of it. I didn't quit therapy. My therapist went to sleep, so it was boring. That I don't need to be in therapy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you don't have any good stories. She's like, I've heard this before about Lois.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I will. I might be infamous soon. I'm gonna do a mass shooting.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like I'm ready to pop.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice. Nice. We got it up. We got this. We're all gonna be on news.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why am I coming for you guys?

[Robert Kelly]

I know, but we're gonna be on news because I'm Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If he doesn't watch his.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob just twitched.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob doesn't watch his.

[Robert Kelly]

He does own a knife.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

But so does Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I have it.

[Robert Kelly]

Again, not you, him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but don't worry. The only way I want to use it is to put it up to your temple and say something cool before I open it into your brain. But it won't. It's just gonna lightly tap your head.

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna have a trickle of blood.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, One little trickle of blood in your temple. It's really not gonna send much of a message quite at all, honestly.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not even gonna say ow.

[Jacob]

Maybe it goes in just far enough to make me love the Temperature in

[Robert Kelly]

the room, Maybe it just fucks with your brain a little bit.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He thinks. He thinks you have temperature problems.

[Robert Kelly]

I just. Like, I'd rather have a cold room than a hot room because it makes.

[Jacob]

Same here.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay, look at me for a second, because I think I'm getting up now. I'm pretty sure Jacob said, same here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that correct for a cold room

[Robert Kelly]

over a hot room? Right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Jacob]

You guys are extremes, though. And what I meant before was about the outdoor. Whether it's 100 out or minus 10 out, you do want the same temperature. It's not like you raise it in the. In the winter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait, what?

[Jacob]

You don't raise the temperature when it's in the. In the room, when it's winter out?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Jacob]

I would not in here, it's pinned. I don't care. I'm just saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I'm telling you, I don't touch the. I don't touch the thermostat.

[Jacob]

Me too, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I'm saying there's no. There's no pinned or not pinned thing of. Of who's doing that at all. I'm saying. You're saying it's pinned. I'm saying I'm not pinning it, but absolutely. In the wintertime, my house temperature is set to, like, 72, and in the summertime, it's at, like, 62.

[Jacob]

I'm talking about the studio.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, I understand, but I'm saying, like, yes, you'd want it hotter on cold days, and you'd want it cooler on warm days. Why is that so foreign?

[Jacob]

I'm saying it is the same thing in here whether it's hot or cold.

[Robert Kelly]

Why are you guys both holding your fingers together this morning?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this. Is this difficult?

[Robert Kelly]

Black Lou has something. Black Lou, what's up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it difficult Lou? Tell me. Tell me what I'm saying makes sense at all.

[Robert Kelly]

He can't do that. Go Black Lou. He has something to say.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black Lou.

[Studio Technician/Assistant]

It's. What you're saying is making complete sense. I think what Jacob is not understanding is that just like on an airplane, there are different zones to this studio. We're in zone five, so we just kind of need to deal with being in zone five.

[Jacob]

I'm on zone five.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys got to try to do a show together, because on some talent seats,

[Studio Technician/Assistant]

I think your part of the studio is much more comfortable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

If it's chilly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just. The concept that Jacob's not grasping. He's saying the room in here is hot or cold. I go okay, but if you're coming in from cold, you'd prefer to be coming into a warmer room. If you're coming in from hot. You keep saying it's like we're not outside. Like, I know we're regulating the temperature in a room.

[Jacob]

It's not regulated. The temperature is always at the maximum. Coldest winter or summer in here. That's my point.

[Robert Kelly]

I think the winter we have a little warmer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We do. These are lies, Christine. These are fucking. That's actually a flat out fucking lie. That's crazy.

[Christine]

As a person that controls the thermostat, I do pin it. But when it starts to feel like, oh, it's chilly in here, I move it up a little so it's not always pinned. And then I forgot to move it back down. So when we came in from outside, it was a little warm.

[Jacob]

So can we agree she's the culprit?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Women. Back to my original statement. We're in the elevator. Instinct. It's just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a two blanket statement. It's always pinned.

[Robert Kelly]

It's just nonsense.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In the room.

[Robert Kelly]

It's nonsense.

[Christine]

Always pinned.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And Jacob, sit somewhere else, dumbass like you move away from the vent. Well, then you're going to sit there freezing cold. You're going to have hard nipples.

[Jacob]

This is the place.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you're going to sit there, then you are not allowed to complain about the weather in here anymore.

[Jacob]

I don't?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

You just did today. No, that was me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you did. And then he complained about it being pinned and blah, blah. But he can't complain.

[Jacob]

Bobby said I did something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's all right. The decree is down. The science is spoken. No more complaining from the. From the captain.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay. I follow science. I don't really follow. You know what I mean? I mean, Jacob.

[Jacob]

Comfortable in here now anyway.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, you're breaking the rule of temperature talk and science. No more temperature talk.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, if we're talking about videos and editing and lighting you, I'd say something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Writing words for the screen of Sirius xm. Giggling, sleeping. Anything we do in the studio besides complaining about temperature is okay, right? You are allowed to sleep. I will allow it. It makes for fun laughs on my end.

[Robert Kelly]

Can we. You know what happened outside that. That was. I was thinking about this weekend. Just to change the subject a little bit. You said something outside that was really interesting to me because you were crossing the street and then there was a truck coming. And then Christine yelled out Jay. And when we got across the street, you were like, dude, I was fine. You almost Killed me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I looked. I didn't. I didn't cross the street with my head in my fucking. Like down in the middle of traffic. I wouldn't do that. I had my head up, I looked and I walked. Nobody else walked. That's why actually Black Lou walked with me. Nobody else walked. I'm gonna go over there. It's like this screaming out is the jarring thing. That's what stops and makes everything bad, right? Female dumb reaction. Make things worse.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, because I was watching videos all

[Big Jay Oakerson]

weekend, shrieking screams and yells of things that aren't a problem.

[Robert Kelly]

When guys get into fights. Like when they're with a girl, the girls always grab the guys, their guys arms.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not Christine, she runs the other way.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, she does. I think she's a good person.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's got no part of it. She's gonna have no part of any of it.

[Robert Kelly]

But yeah, all these fights, it's like they keep grabbing the guy's arm and like holding both of his hands or trying to get like around him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now it's bad when friends do that too, and they try to stop their friend. You grab your friend around the arms. Like you can't block your friend from defending himself. You nitwit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, go hold the other guy's arm.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Honey, help me. Don't hurt me.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like I'm. This guy could throw a punch at any second and all of a sudden she. I just watch this over and over. It's just these girls. Come on, let's go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And they keep in front of you

[Robert Kelly]

grabbing the guy's arm.

[Ad Read Announcer]

It's like, leave him the fuck alone. Yeah, and let him knock this dude out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they make everything worse, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I agree. I agree with you. Yeah, that's the. She's done that. That's just a very. It's. Christine was probably just a chick thing in general, but it's very much like she makes the thing like every a situation. That's like a point five and eight now because like it's of a barking. What the fuck is the thing?

[Robert Kelly]

Talk about a point five, did you. There was an earthquake today up in Westchester. I mean, it's crazy. Me and Dom were sitting there watching Peaky Blinders enjoying our little egg sandwiches she made. What, you don't like an egg sandwich or the Peaky Blinders?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Both.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't like an egg sandwich?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just to get a mouthful of egg sandwich and listen to British accents. Just sounds.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay hates everything right now. Jay's poo poo and everything. Eggs and English I don't even care about temperature. I'm about Peaky Blinders is the today. So dude was sitting there. The whole house shook. I mean, rattled. And then it was like. I mean, I. I thought it was like a. A bomb or something went off in Manhattan. It was so crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How far was the epicenter? Do you know? Did they tell you where it was?

[Robert Kelly]

It was in Sleepy Hollow. Sleepy Hollow was the epicenter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It wasn't a crazy big one, but it should. I mean, the whole house shook. It was. It was crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How long?

[Robert Kelly]

Like 12 minutes, two seconds? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I tell you, I was. I only experienced one ever. Well, I was in one or two in California that I saw people come outside and be like, you feel that? And like. I didn't at all. And then one in Long Island, I thought I was like. I thought I got dizzy, right? Cause I was standing. I remember I was walking. I was standing in the. Walking from bathroom to hallway in. When I lived in Long Island.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I went. I just kind of, like, almost, but didn't feel like the house was shaking. It felt like I was just like, for some reason, I wasn't walking right. And then I heard everybody say, right, that was an earthquake.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, it was crazy. I mean, we forget that we always take la. California is the place that's going to happen. But New York has earthquakes all the time. But I've never been.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think there's tons, but I think they do.

[Robert Kelly]

I think they have them all the time.

[Jacob]

There were two here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everything's, like, possible always. Like. Like, tornadoes are possible here, but they never happen.

[Robert Kelly]

I've been in a tornado in New York City. In Manhattan, where it was. I was down on. Near Astor Place. I had a. I went into the subway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you call Black Friday on Canal Street,

[Jacob]

Black Friday's. Noogie Lamont.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Moogie Lamont.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus. Jacob. Yeah. The sky turned green.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can you do me a favor? Can you bleep that out? If you're gonna play it, you know it's coming, dude. We're a radio show. Have some class.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're just gonna let him say. Newgie Johnson. N word. Johnson. Whoa, whoa.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll do it for you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you think? Is this an XL channel?

[Robert Kelly]

Listen. Yeah. Why was the sky turned green? And because, you know, I'm a Bushcraft guy, I know that stuff.

[Ad Read Announcer]

I saw.

[Robert Kelly]

And then the tornado, it happened in Manhattan. I ran into the subway as it went over Manhattan. I mean, it wasn't A crazy one, but still. A tornado is a tornado. It's crazy. Where I was down on. By Astor Place. On Broadway. Broadway. And where the N and the R.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But where does it come through? Like that's what I'm saying. Like a tornado would be like wider. It would be several streets wide.

[Robert Kelly]

Now it wasn't a F5. It was just a tornado. Like a. You know, a little.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you just see newspapers twirling a circle?

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, look, they have. No, no. They have tornadoes all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's Buffalo.

[Jacob]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. No, that's Buffalo. Yeah.

[Christine]

Strong New York State.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the first one there. Yeah, right there. Ton rips right up.

[Robert Kelly]

No Buffalo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope.

[Christine]

Oh my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go. New York. The one that. That's not what I was going to say. Nope. Tornado rare. You go structure off in New York.

[Christine]

It says Buffalo.

[Procurement/Grainger Advertiser]

Jay.

[Christine]

It's from Buffalo. That's why I said it's not New York City because we thought it was and then we saw it was Buffalo. And so when I was going back

[Big Jay Oakerson]

to find it, the other one was Buffalo.

[Robert Kelly]

Were both Buffalo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, Just want start over.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, let's start over. What's up everybody?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Play the music. Jacob. How you feeling? Temperature wise.

[Robert Kelly]

The bonfire with big. I feel good too. It feels great in here, right? What's up everybody? It's the bonfire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the influence. It's the science.

[Robert Kelly]

You see Chad Zuma, Chicks and weather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, see that Chad Zumak thing? Let's bring up the video real quick on that. Luke, be quicker.

[Robert Kelly]

Get on the. The dump button.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get on the boards, would you?

[Robert Kelly]

Now I just think it was weird to be in a. Just sitting there when you. Is it. We're lying there on the couch and when you know it's not like it's something different than you. You know, I've never had your house shake like that or that type of noise and you're like what the fuck was that? It was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It was like whoa, that was something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I experienced them in L. A.

[Robert Kelly]

Never. Never really. I don't. I probably was in them and didn't even know. But I've never been in a. A big one. But I've never felt it. This. I felt like in my living room the whole. You could hear the windows just rattle. Oh God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The only natural disaster that ever affected me was flood. Hurricane.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, the flood was crazy for you, huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never had anything else like wildfire. Never. What else? Like I have another like hurricane where it's like smashing in windows, stuff like that. Ever.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never been a natural disaster.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Flooding. Just flooding.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't mean the flooding didn't even fuck with me either. I've never been in flooding.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, congratulations. There's one chance in my life I had to change. I go want to just change styles, the way you dress because you've lost all your clothes. Maybe we'll do prep May. We'll go preppy now.

[Robert Kelly]

Flooding's. I think flooding's the suckiest one because you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fire is pretty bad, too.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Fire's bad, at least.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fire, like, it's gone.

[Robert Kelly]

It's just gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The flood is working. It's all wet. It's there. It's just fucking ruined.

[Robert Kelly]

It's just disgusting. You have to go back and. Smells like shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're like, no. If you use a certain kind of cleaner, I'll get the mold off. Like, I'm good.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All my clothes were in the sea.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Voss, his old house, they flooded his basement. He had to replace all the sheetrock up to three feet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like, that's gross.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

Might as well just light this fucking thing on fire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Burn it down, dude. If you have more than two house problems, burn it the fuck down.

[Jacob]

You have all that's wrong with kill you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got caulking needs to be done and a nail pop in the living room. And I'm going to burn the motherfucking house down. I got a sticky nail pop. Won't go in.

[Robert Kelly]

I would love to see a tornado, though. I would love to, like, be in the vicinity of a tornado just to see that. I. I hate that. I feel bad for the devastation of it. When you see somebody's house, just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want to see, like, a barn, though, going up?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I want to see like a cow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Yes. Actually, livestock flying up into would be pretty cool.

[Robert Kelly]

Sometimes they have the. It goes through, like, a pond and sucks all the fish up and all the fish fall and it's just raining fish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is there any good footage of tornadoes? I don't know if I've seen.

[Robert Kelly]

They just had a good one the other day, this lady. And you could see it sucking up the houses as it was going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what I kind of want to see. I want to see things going up.

[Robert Kelly]

They were on a lake. I don't know what lake it was, but it was a lake. And they were on the other side of the lake and they. She. It has a video of the tornado forming, touching down, and then just sucking up houses and then it went back up and kind of ended and then reformed again and sucked up just all the houses on the other side of the lake. That was crazy. Great video.

[Jacob]

I would say we've watched the greatest tornado footage of all time. Superman, Clark Kent's father, he braved it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know.

[Jacob]

He gets taken by.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He wanted to get really close to a tornado.

[Ad Read Announcer]

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[Robert Kelly]

what I can buy and my wife.

[Ad Read Announcer]

You don't need it. We can't get it. It's a real tough thing to actually take care of what you're spending, have a savings. It's just rough out there for everyone. So when the tax refund hits and you're thinking, what's the best way to keep more in your pocket without giving something up? Well, here's the real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation fees. Get one line of 5G for only 25 bucks. Yep, only 25 bucks. And no contracts that get in the way. The best thing, you can, keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands, but that's exactly the point. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. Visit your local store on Metro by T mobile.com and Switch. Today $30 first month, $25 after with autopay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guys, you know, running a business is complicated. There's dozens of soft programs that you need, and they're all so expensive. And since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo? That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software. So you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it. Right, but that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is, why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's o d o o.com odoo.com a

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[Christine]

I love it.

[Ad Read Announcer]

I just got an awesome jacket. It's casual but dressy. I can wear it to the clubs, on stage.

[Robert Kelly]

I can wear it out to dinner

[Ad Read Announcer]

with my wife if we go somewhere fancy. And you know what? It's wintertime, springtime, summertime.

[Robert Kelly]

I love quints.

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Christine]

This is pretty crazy. This from a ring, but you can't really see the actual tornado. But you see the house go up and back down.

[Robert Kelly]

Oof.

[Christine]

Look at that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, look at that piece of house.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I could pick that house. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God did him a favor.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you should be able to pick a house up and put it back down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope. And when you do put it back down, it shouldn't be good as new.

[Robert Kelly]

There's not even a basement in that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That thing is good as new.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at it come back down. It's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When that house came back down, they were like, oh, thank God.

[Robert Kelly]

I wanted to move it over here a couple feet, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His TV wasn't even unplugged after that.

[Jacob]

God lifted the house, swept it, and then put it back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, does the Internet still work? And we're good.

[Ad Read Announcer]

We're good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's why we got fiber optics.

[Ad Read Announcer]

It's closer to the gas station.

[Christine]

Now this one's.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's a good one. Oh, my God. I mean, you can't. There's nothing that can with that. Look at that house. What an. Making fun. He's actually celebrating it. It's funny when anything happens now, if you have ring cam, your ring cam neighborhood watch will go off. And it's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you have to opt in for that, though.

[Robert Kelly]

I opted in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And so your camera just goes on sometimes to film someone running from the police.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you have to upload that. But they have, like, a name, like, almost like a chat that you can upload stuff to. And everybody. As soon as the earthquake happened, it just started dinging, and everybody was like, did you feel that? Is that. Was that a bomb? Everybody's just. Is that a bomb?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Let's read our ring thing. Because they're busy bodies. I haven't looked since I've gotten it.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, they're so busy body.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're good busy bodies, though.

[Christine]

There's one guy asking, like a. Like a task rabbit question in there, and somebody's like, this isn't for that. Use a different forum.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, here's a good one. Oh, come on, you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where's it. Is it update neighbors, Right? That's what you click.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I got one right here. Helicopter hovering over White Plains. Not a helicopter. This one. Three big sounds heard at Maritime College.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here we go. Was a racetrack installed in front of the stop and Shop in Pompton Plains. The questions are asking.

[Robert Kelly]

We heard an explosion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

14 comments.

[Robert Kelly]

Noise like, oh, this one's a good one. Anyone have footage of Shaking Rumble?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do these big. What's up with all the police flying down Lincoln Ave?

[Robert Kelly]

God forbid there was an earthquake. Everyone chill. You'll be okay. What a douche.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my God. Listen to these. This afternoon, 8th street was being blocked by idling vehicles at the school up to the red light. I had to cut through two solid yellow lines with a truck passing in the opposite lane. How is this allowed? Do we need to contact the county? This one ring doesn't have people involved with their doorbell.

[Robert Kelly]

It's his own little social media.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's your fucking doorbell.

[Robert Kelly]

Crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's crazy. What else we got? What do you think about the pseg Smart meters is a safe way to. Is that safe to put in the house? Did anybody hear a boom and Haladin last night?

[Robert Kelly]

So we all agree we felt and heard something. If it was another earthquake, they're all becoming too frequent for my liking. Oh, I gotta read the comments on that one. The comments are great too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh yeah, absolutely. Loud sound. Then the cops and drones everywhere on Riverside. Anyone know why? What is happening? Anyone knows? Questioning the same. Heard the loud noises and clear. There are about a dozen cop cars between 3rd and 4th Ave. There's helicopters flying around nearby too. Because of the car meet in Bunker Hill. Oh, it's on the flight tracker app. Me too. Small plane crash near High Mountain Road. I think I heard. I mean it's fucking. This is on. This is the app for your doorbell.

[Robert Kelly]

Neighbor number 10. The positive side of things. In the U.S. 99% of our houses are built with wood. So I would not be concerned.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What busy body shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, so I get so.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can never imagine doing that or caring that much about like. Let me let my neighbors know I heard. Saw some cops coming down the street. Who gives a.

[Robert Kelly]

It's fun. Because I do. I do like it in our neighborhood when they announce like a bobcat. You know what I mean? Because we let doodles out in the backyard. Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I get. But do you really look for it? How about this? This is great. Neighbor number 20. It's Patterson. So there was probably a shooting. Did anybody hear that noise near Pennington Park? Sounded like a gunshot. Let's see. I think it was a car exhaust. That's because we don't have real cops in Patterson anymore. Oh, that was replies on that comment. What? I think it was the Sheraton building implosion. What the fuck are these people talking about? They're so involved. Oh, here you go. This Is great. Here's a picture of a guy. Was wondering if anybody knows this guy. He stole something from my porch. I forgot to add a pic last time. See if anybody answers because there's five responses. He stole a package on my house a while back. I still remember him. You should call the cops and report him. I'm sure he is very popular among cops. Please call the cops. Do a favor for all of us and call the cops. Homeless guy from Patterson. What area and location can you identify him?

[Jacob]

How?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, dude. This is so weird. So weird that people would give a shit this much.

[Robert Kelly]

I look two blocks from Patterson. Let me see that picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, this bum.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe I know him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll find him for you, buddy. Right here. You know him?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We have so much stuff that we have here. We haven't gotten to almost any of

[Robert Kelly]

it, but you showed me a thing that made me laugh. You put in the thing with Machine Gun Kelly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Very, very quick video. But yeah. Machine Gun Kelly brings confident chubby chicks on stage to dance with him. There's nothing worse than when a chubby girl gets her moment, starts feeling sexy for a second, and then does everything. Fatly.

[Robert Kelly]

Should have known that the stage was shaped like an M and there's going to be a couple holes in it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She is just eyes up on me. She goes, oh, I think Machine Gun Kelly's checking out my jiggle. And then she just. I mean, like, they face into the things. Like, fallback, dude. She clunks.

[Robert Kelly]

I like when they. I like when they disappear when they're just there and then they're not so funny. But the funniest part is trying to pick this tub of up. Seven fat girls couldn't get her out of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But I mean, Machine Kelly just keeps, like, gay rapping to it. Like, he's like, gift girl, you're a girl. Girl the world, you're a girl.

[Robert Kelly]

He kept singing to her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He has no idea she's down there. Like everything's going wrong. Her. Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God. She's muffin topping in baggy pants.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's like, hey, y', all, I'm with mgk. He don't care that I'm a little chubby.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, that stage is a dangerous stage, though.

[Jacob]

Showboating. Look at me, world, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't believe it. On all days when she wore her leather crop top, she froze it.

[Robert Kelly]

Put it back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Put it back.

[Robert Kelly]

You froze it right where it was supposed to be. Fro. She's still in. This is the mode when her Foot just. She realizes her foot is going way too far down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Partner probably might even be thinking at that point, goes, oh, maybe this is a step. Or maybe this is a bit of a lower part. Maybe it's a little bit of a ramp.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, she's having so much fun until this moment.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That is the step where it goes haywire, right?

[Robert Kelly]

This one step, and you see her body go, no, no, no, no, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn. When you wear a half top, by the way, you're not supposed to wear your pants up to the half top.

[Robert Kelly]

She's one of the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's got a fucking bottle of salad dressing, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

She's like those old fat guys in the 20s when they used to pull their pants up over this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Christine]

Yeah,

[Robert Kelly]

she's gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, look at her. And look at her hotter friend going, oh, this happens with my fat pig sister all the time. It's gonna take seven of us to get her up.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, she hits her chin, and they can't get this tub of out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's so embarrassed.

[Robert Kelly]

Even. Even. Oh, it took five people to get her out of that hole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's like, are you okay? She's like, I'm hungry.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

can we still have. Can we stuff? Catering in the back

[Robert Kelly]

didn't stop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like, fat girl dropping through the stage.

[Jacob]

See, it's way worse that she's fat. But that could never happen to me because I'll. I've never had the look at me world,

[Robert Kelly]

dude. He's feeling.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Singing.

[Robert Kelly]

He didn't stop singing one sentence. Oh, God damn it.

[Jacob]

That head hits the. The floor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm telling you, my adrenaline would have been able to make me arm push up out of that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you would have kicked up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm telling you, I would have arm pushed. My adrenaline would have gotten me in that situation. It's like a pool. In the adrenaline situation, I will get my whole body and my leg planted above to get out of that thing. I. I'm telling you, for one, it would not take seven people pulling me out of it. I just wouldn't allow it. Like, I'm doing this myself. I'd rather beach myself. My move, where you just roll your body out of it before I did what she did. Let 17 people pull you up.

[Christine]

I mean, how did she not just stay down and run away?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See, I would have laid down. I would have laid down so nobody could reach me.

[Robert Kelly]

Crawled out of the fucking pen. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So nobody can reach me. They're gonna be all reaching down. I go, get out of here. I'm not Going back up there, you fucking idiot. No. Show everyone how fat and stupid you are. No. Get up here so everybody can see who the fat stupid idiot is when you leave. Oh, if you're wondering who it is, it's a fat girl wearing the half leather top.

[Robert Kelly]

Machine Guy Kelly though, took a beat to see can this get out of there herself. And realized it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He starts real. He's gonna start paying for her. She's definitely going to therapy after this.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at her. She is her friends like Machine Gun

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kelly start this show. My fat friend fell through the stage.

[Jacob]

I'm a star. Clunk.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you just see her little fat hands holding onto the edge.

[Jacob]

I like. I do appreciate that he worked the lyrics. Are you okay?

[Robert Kelly]

Are you okay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That you are fine. I think you your pants and your khakis.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Maybe you should try.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She definitely peter in her khakis a little bit. Definitely a little pee for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, these are the fat people. Look at the fat one in the back. Just still danc though she doesn't give a.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way, can I say something? If that happened to a hot chick on the stage, there's still an outside shot just for the the fact they'd have a reason to talk. That Machine Gun Kelly would. That chick now she has become. Oh, she can make it in her mind like, well, we got picked to go dance on the stage. So Machine Gun Kelly probably thought I was cute to now knowing like, no, he knows what a fat lump of I am and can't get herself out of a hole. And he knows doesn't know where I'm walking.

[Robert Kelly]

It takes six fat chicks to get me out of this hole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, and then I need six fatter people to remove me.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. Look at all the people that have to drag her out this reminding me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does anybody have a simple machine? Maybe a full crumb or a pulley?

[Ad Read Announcer]

Do me a favor, get me the cherry picker.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do we still have that front loader bag back in the back?

[Robert Kelly]

Do we have the straps that hold

[Ad Read Announcer]

the stage to the back of the truck?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do we still have those chains that pull cars out of lakes?

[Robert Kelly]

Don't worry, baby.

[Ad Read Announcer]

We got cake in the back.

[Jacob]

We should have lured her out with

[Robert Kelly]

a piece of cake. Oh, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you doing? They eat the cakes out here and then you see her pop up like Michael Jackson, like get fired out of the ground.

[Robert Kelly]

Cake. Cake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did somebody say cake? Thank you, everybody. Thank you. One motion stop Machine Gun. Just tell her there's cake. Tell her there's cake. We've had this Happen before.

[Ad Read Announcer]

We got cake in the middle of the stage.

[Robert Kelly]

There's cake. He doesn't even. He doesn't. He stops to make sure. I gotta help this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's doing a concert and holding a guitar.

[Robert Kelly]

He's holding a guitar and a microphone and a £300 girl. Oh, my God, that outfit is the worst. Man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She takes a spill.

[Robert Kelly]

It sucks too, because that outfit stinks so bad. She wore that and felt uncomfortable wearing that. Now everybody in the world is watching this video. Oh, look at that. Is her stomach out? Did her stomach flop out?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's impo. I mean. Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you pull her pants up like any true fat person should when they fall?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think her pants went anywhere, to be honest with you.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She took. She should have been able to get out of this by herself.

[Robert Kelly]

That's pretty deep. That's pretty. That's. That's up for her head goof.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but look, when she's standing, her head's above it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a. That's a pretty dangerous stage to have people just walk on without. Dude, that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you should know that your fans are dumb young.

[Robert Kelly]

She's only a 4 foot 2 Mexican chick too, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Know your audience is retarded teenager girls. And you'll figure it out then.

[Robert Kelly]

There is not one.

[Jacob]

Never ever do. Look at me world arms in public.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You're asking to fall through something.

[Jacob]

Yes. The world is gonna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The second you go. The second you go. Everyone's admiring me. Is when something terrible happens.

[Robert Kelly]

That's when God goes, I gave you a fat stomach.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

For a reason.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, Christine. Where was your senseless yelling out at this chick?

[Robert Kelly]

Watch out, watch out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Doesn't that seem like more of something?

[Christine]

I'm scared you're gonna die. I'm sorry I reacted. I thought, you're gonna get hit by the truck and die because you weren't looking.

[Robert Kelly]

You should have let him get hit. Here's why you get.

[Christine]

Oh, I'm in the.

[Robert Kelly]

Will you get those cups?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here's the problem. Here's the problem. We all missed. There's no danger of the truck hitting me because I looked.

[Christine]

Well, I didn't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, scream out loud next time.

[Christine]

He was afraid you're gonna die. I'd be scared if you die.

[Robert Kelly]

It'd be funny if next time she doesn't say anything, you do get hit.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Just say anything, Dude. The stage hand walks over and go, I got her. And then he realizes, oh, I don't. Oof.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I need a Little help here.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, get some of your fat friends over here and help me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who are the guys that put up the big screens? Get those guys.

[Robert Kelly]

Get the Trinitron guys.

[Christine]

This reminded me. When I fell out, I was, like, a fat kid. And when I was at the Catalina Island Marine Institute, I fell out of my kayak, and they had to, like, bring, like, two other kayaks over to,

[Robert Kelly]

like, so I could hoist myself. They had to make you a catamaran

[Christine]

to get you back in a wetsuit, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, a real gross wetsuit.

[Robert Kelly]

That happened to me. My uncle. My uncle. My uncle planted.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I was in a wetsuit, I'd be a baby orca.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I did. If I got no wetsuit at my fattest, you'd have to just leave it on me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Or all you have to do when you unzip it is to unzip it a little bit. It's gonna go.

[Robert Kelly]

You come out like one of those Japanese omelettes.

[Jacob]

They had to build a makeshift pontoon boat to hoist you up.

[Christine]

I. Yeah, because I was a little fat girl with weak arms, and these. The westerns also had, like, weird crotch straps.

[Robert Kelly]

You were a fat girl with weak arms.

[Christine]

Oh, my gosh. Why can never surf? I would just. The board would just hit me in the face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Humiliation. Humiliation can make me do feats of things I've never thought I'd be able to do. When I fell off on the. When it was stopped, I was flying all around on that wave runner. The one time I did the wave runner, flying all over on as fast as possible, and I just stopped once. I was like, let me stop. Slowly turn around. As soon as I stopped, it just started, like, tilting. And I was like. I was like, yep. No, no, I'm going. And I went off the thing. And I mean, getting back on that thing is so slow. Stupid. But I did it in one motion because I was like, I'm not gonna be the fat guy out here. Have to do this to the shore.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't seem to figure it out, sir. I'm too fat for this little weird step. I got up on that thing. I think I almost re Sunk the waverunner. I pushed it down so hard when I stepped on that step, but I got back on it. Waverunner covered in water inside. But I got right back up on that thing. I go, I'm not having anybody come over and help me.

[Robert Kelly]

My uncle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not that guy.

[Robert Kelly]

My uncle planned this big men's fly fishing trip. Kayak, fly Fishing trip. We're all getting on kayaks to go. To go out on this lake is beautiful. And all, you know, everybody Woke up at 5. Everybody loaded up the trucks. Everybody had a pickup truck. And we all had our waders and all our fly fishing gear on. This is at my biggest. And we all got down to the. The lake and we. They put their things down and then I. I put mine in and I got into the kayak and I was too fat. It kept tipping over. It was one the ones you get in and your legs in. And I kept just. My body weight was too much. I just kept tipping over. And then they tried to figure out, no, you gotta. We gotta do this.

[Ad Read Announcer]

And put your legs like that.

[Robert Kelly]

And then they realized, like, dude, you're too fat for this. So I just had to stand on the shore and fly fish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's hilarious. I thought they're gonna say this. They just. We'll just tie a rope to you, drag you with us.

[Robert Kelly]

No, but I should have thought, I've made a. Grab another kayak and made a little Christmas pontoon boat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Little pontoon.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you have two extra kayaks that you can. From my fatness and my weak arms.

[Christine]

There's a weight limit at the this party.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, this right there. The moment you know that it's. You're going. It's all wrong. She is having the best time of her life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She can't believe it. She's on stage with Machine Gun Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

It's crazy. And now you just have to. You're in the back room signing stuff. So you don't sue Machine Gun Kelly. Stay.

[Procurement/Grainger Advertiser]

Damn.

[Jacob]

But you deserve. If you're so into the look at me world that you refuse to. To look at the ground and make sure where you're stepping well when you go on.

[Robert Kelly]

Because when you finally get that opportunity to go on stage with somebody, you want to act like you belong. Like you don't want to walk up like, I'm scared. She's been waiting for this moment. She was probably in the crowd waving and dancing and doing everything she could to be noticed. And then she got noticed, probably for the first time in her life. And then she gets up there and God says, not you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Boom. She goes, look at me. And they go, oh, we're looking, tubs.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we're looking. Yeah, we're looking at gravity at work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's science. Do we have any new tissues? This tissue's empty.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a napkin. Brand new. There you go, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, God, I love people falling off Stage. I don't know why. I do. I did. I did that one time we did the Creeps with Kids show. And I ran off stage as a little joke at the end, and then I ran back upstage and I had to get back on the stage, but I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't get my fat body, so I had to just throw myself on stage and then roll like a. Like an elephant seal in your mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can finish yourself. That. It's kind of like entering a wrestling ring. I was like entering a wrestling ring.

[Robert Kelly]

I just. I just remember I heard. I heard a lady go, oh, God. She went, oh, God. And then she went to her house. She went, help him. I just murdered. I just did stand up. I killed. I am a superstar to them. And then I. I became.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Oh, God.

[Robert Kelly]

I just remember looking up and seeing Rod Bennington go, why would you get off stage?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I. When I had. We did. I think it was the second Skank Fest Vegas. My first thing when I came in, and I came in, like, whatever. I don't know if it was the third, probably the last day of Skank Fest, and my body was fucked up. It was. I don't know if I had, like, the adrenaline dump from the special. Whatever, whatever. I just felt like I was hit by a truck. My limbs weren't working really good, you know, like, everything was just sore. And I had to go backstage to do this Ari storytelling show and, like, this movie theater room, and you have to go in through one side backstage and then get up, and then you can kind of walk behind the stage to get to the other side of it where everybody was. And they go, we could walk you around to the other side if you want. If you don't want to go. Because there was, like a. There was no step. Well, there was, by the way, I had no idea. Steps right to the right of me, but they go, but if you don't want to get up on the stage, we can go around. I was like, no, it's fine. I just, like, put, like, my foot up on. It was, like, pretty high. And when I got my. I pushed my body. I was like, all right. It's gonna take everything to push my body because I'm just so beat up. And I go, I'm Give everything on this push. And I pushed up hard. And then my legs just never got, like, under me again. And I. And somebody was on stage, and all they heard in the back was,

[Robert Kelly]

like,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

banging, shaking the whole set of, like, the stage. I mean, I got Up. And I was like, no, can't stop moving forward. It was like the lady who falls in the thing, she's like, oh,

[Robert Kelly]

everybody's ring cam thing went off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's an earthquake. Somebody in the. It was back. It was behind. So it's funny. Someone on stage was kind of like, oh, everything all right back there? It's fine. Everything's fine. There's an idiot.

[Robert Kelly]

There's nothing worse than falling fat. Falling fat. Because when you get down, you have to. You have to do, like, a couple rolls. You have to use physics.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, but I'm quick with that. When I was playing basketball, anytime I'd fall in basketball, I don't know if I'm making it look cool, but I'm making it look like it was all, I'll keep moving in directions until I'm back up. Does that make sense? Once you stop moving, you've accepted, like, I need help and something's wrong. But if you fall and then roll to the side and jump up on your knee and then pop back up, you're like, that's fine. That's how people fall.

[Robert Kelly]

So you have to get up like a baby elephant.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Paco type where they fall, they roll backwards and, like, push up on their hands and, you know, come around on their feet. Suck balls.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. If I did that, my arms would snap and break.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. We gotta take a break, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Guess what? Bobby Kelly's on the road.

[Robert Kelly]

I am?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's gonna be the verb in Somerville, New Jersey, March 19th. Then Comics Roadhouse and Connecticut at Mohegan Sun April 17th and 18th. After that, Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey, Cleveland, Ohio, New Orleans on deck. After that, tickets and all of his tour dates at Punchup Live. Robert Kelly, of course, his new YouTube channel, Obert Kelly Comedy. And every Tuesday night, 7pm Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. Catch him live and in the flesh.

[Robert Kelly]

Big J's gonna be at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville the 13th and the

[Ad Read Announcer]

14th this Friday and Saturday.

[Robert Kelly]

And then he's going to the Comedy on State in Madison March 19th through the 21st.

[Ad Read Announcer]

After that, Phoenix, Tempe, St. Louis for

[Robert Kelly]

tickets and all the tour dates. Big J comedy.com YouTube.com bigjokerson for his

[Ad Read Announcer]

live shows and his specials.

[Robert Kelly]

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

[Jacob]

Hey.

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