The Flames Of Justice

Summary

Episode Summary: "The Flames Of Justice"

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: December 20, 2024
Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103

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1. Navigating Grief and Personal Loss

The episode opens with Robert Kelly expressing deep reflections on his late father, highlighting the complexities of their relationship and the unspoken emotions that lingered after his father's passing.

• Robert Kelly [01:25]: "I just never got to say thanks. And I never got to asking questions about how to be a dad."

Big Jay Oakerson acknowledges Robert's vulnerability, emphasizing the therapeutic nature of their conversation.

• Big Jay Oakerson [01:43]: "This is therapy day, dude. Even I just got out of therapy right now."

The hosts dive into the emotional impact of a song titled "Grief is Only Love," exploring how it resonates with personal experiences of loss and the universal nature of grief.

• Robert Kelly [05:07]: "He said all the ghosts in his own town and his grandfather. People that you lose. And grief is only love that's got no place to go."

They discuss the poignant lyrics and the way the song encapsulates the essence of unresolved feelings and the yearning for connection with lost loved ones.

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2. Emotional Performance and Its Aftermath

The conversation shifts to a live performance of the song, where Robert and Big Jay react to its emotional depth and the authenticity of the performer.

• Big Jay Oakerson [07:30]: "I'd like to write more lyrics for that though. 1994, big year."

They dissect the performance, touching on how specific references in the song amplify its emotional weight, stirring memories of their own losses.

• Robert Kelly [07:39]: "The song is too known. So it's... rough."

The dialogue underscores the interplay between personal grief and artistic expression, highlighting how music can serve as a conduit for processing complex emotions.

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3. Confronting Violence and Public Safety on Subways

A significant portion of the episode tackles a distressing incident on the subway, where an individual exhibited threatening behavior towards passengers. Robert recounts his encounter with a visibly agitated person, detailing the fear and adrenaline that accompanied the confrontation.

• Robert Kelly [18:22]: "This guy grabbed the guy, choked him out, you know, and he was still alive when the cops came."

Big Jay and Robert debate the appropriate responses to such threats, weighing personal safety against moral responsibility.

• Big Jay Oakerson [20:16]: "If you have a family that relies on you... it's about how your family feels about you."

They discuss the broader implications of public safety, the role of bystanders, and the shortcomings of the current system in handling mentally ill individuals who pose threats to others.

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4. Humorous Interludes: Rats and Urban Living

Injecting their signature humor, Big Jay and Robert engage in a lighthearted yet relatable discussion about dealing with urban nuisances, particularly rats.

• Big Jay Oakerson [52:03]: "They do dwell more at night, though."

This segment features playful banter about the challenges of city living, the absurdity of certain encounters, and the comedic potential of everyday frustrations.

• Robert Kelly [59:22]: "You can hit them with a bat."

Their humorous take provides a balance to the heavier topics, showcasing their ability to find laughter amidst chaos.

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5. The Flames of Justice: A Comedic Vigilante Plan

Towards the end of the episode, Big Jay and Robert concoct an absurd yet entertaining plan to patrol the subways, dubbing themselves the "Flames of Justice." This satirical take on vigilante justice highlights their comedic prowess and serves as a metaphor for taking control in unpredictable environments.

• Big Jay Oakerson [46:55]: "The flames of safety."

• Robert Kelly [47:36]: "Flames of justice."

They envision a group equipped with humorous gadgets and outfits, ready to tackle the subway's challenges with a blend of satire and exaggerated heroism.

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6. Closing Stories and Final Thoughts

The episode concludes with humorous anecdotes about navigating personal fears and overcoming unexpected challenges, all while maintaining their comedic rapport.

• Robert Kelly [61:00]: "I like cheesesteak."

• Big Jay Oakerson [63:10]: "Authentic Mexican and Latin foods."

Their final interactions leave listeners with a blend of laughter and reflection, encapsulating the multifaceted nature of their discussions.

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Notable Quotes

• Robert Kelly [05:07]: "He said all the ghosts in his own town and his grandfather. People that you lose. And grief is only love that's got no place to go."
  Timestamp: 05:07

• Big Jay Oakerson [20:16]: "If you have a family that relies on you... it's about how your family feels about you."
  Timestamp: 20:16

• Robert Kelly [18:22]: "This guy grabbed the guy, choked him out, you know, and he was still alive when the cops came."
  Timestamp: 18:22

• Big Jay Oakerson [46:55]: "The flames of safety."
  Timestamp: 46:55

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Conclusion

"The Flames Of Justice" episode masterfully intertwines personal narratives of grief with broader societal issues, all while maintaining a comedic undertone. Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly navigate through heavy topics with honesty and humor, providing listeners with both heartfelt insights and laughter. Their dynamic interaction ensures that the episode is both engaging and thought-provoking, making it accessible to those who haven't tuned in before.

Transcript

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

Listen, man, the song is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, turn it up, Lou.

[Robert Kelly]

Turn it up. Don't say his name. Don't say his name. What's wrong with you, dude? Why would you say his name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your dad never took the time.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Larry went out there with you?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Showed you how to throw a ball.

[Robert Kelly]

I just never got to say thanks. And I never got to asking questions about how to be a dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I make you turn us up blue? Please?

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want you to know something.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. This is therapy day, dude. Even I just got out of therapy right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want you to know when he passed.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, come on, don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In his heart, he never knew how you felt because you didn't tell him. He thought as he laid there, he was like, maybe Bobby didn't appreciate how I stepped in, but, Lou, please, some volume.

[Robert Kelly]

And I wish I could have asked him questions on how to be a dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know he would have been like, give me a little reverb for my voice. I'm doing Larry right now. We're not live. I can't. Wow. Don't give your son his own floor of a house. I don't feel like buying all these bags. Seems pretty gay.

[Robert Kelly]

I love a sling bag.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Weight loss surgery. What are you, a fanuk?

[Robert Kelly]

He'd be glad about that, that I'm around. Maybe if he did something, he'd still be around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice pants, Bobby. Do they sell men's clothes where you got.

[Jacob]

You?

[Robert Kelly]

Talk about that. Other partners with a guy who does his fingernails.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, you rape a man like that in prison, you don't start a business with him.

[Robert Kelly]

God, he was so good yesterday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was great.

[Robert Kelly]

He. I mean this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well. Yesterday, two days ago.

[Robert Kelly]

Two days ago.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If we're days. Terminator timelines.

[Robert Kelly]

Unbelievable. Now let me ask you a question.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

When he was coming in, you didn't know much about his music?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

Now, after he got done playing this song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, were you like, wow?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. Well, yes. I bet he's got a song that can make me cry. The grief is all. There's nothing I have.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, because you're not connected to human beings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm connected very much to human beings.

[Robert Kelly]

If he did a song about dogs or cheesesteaks, can I tell you the problem? Cheesesteaks are old enough. It's got no place to go except my belly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's called eating my feelings.

[Robert Kelly]

Ozempic to be in tears.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Grief is only love. When you spike that needle into your belly.

[Robert Kelly]

If you did a song about a 30 inch waist, you'd be like, that's what I want.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Food can't go in. But still, somehow it still comes out. I gotta be organs at this point. There's nothing in me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he was great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was amazing. That song particularly. Here's the problem. Well, it's not a problem at all if it hits on the nose. Yeah, it's. It's brutal. But the thing is, he's very specific in it. He says father.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Well, he said all the ghosts in his own town and his grandfather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's from like the past. Like people that he's lost.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. People that you lose. Yeah, People you lose. And grief.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

Is only love that's got no place to go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he says fa. He really points out father.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I can see that being the thing. And because of that it takes. I can't now assign any meaning to it. There's plenty of songs that have nothing to do with why they make me cry. But in my mind I'm like, well, I can. It twists to this. Who died in your life most recently? That's like important.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My grandmother.

[Robert Kelly]

What did you call her?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My mom.

[Robert Kelly]

My mom. Can't you go? My mama. Mama is in the ground.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

I was thinking more your grandfather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He died when I was 37 years ago.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you. Do you miss him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you think about him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

When you think about him, what do you think of Jay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He taught me how to like do the stuff like throw a football, have a catch and stuff like that. He Would come to my Little League games or my softball games. I was too young for Little League yet when he died.

[Robert Kelly]

Sing it, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was a storm door salesman. He went door to door for a company called City of Mirrors. And then before that he owned a key making store in a flea market.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, he did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, he did. My mom. Listen, you could get me. It's. Again, the song's too known. So it's. And there's also so much funny things I've seen wrapped around it. But I think DJ Lou was standing next to me. Drops of Jupiter Train Live shortly after my grandmother passed away. Rough. Yeah, I had it there. Yeah, I think. Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

I think his next song. 1994 song. Yeah, I thought that was brilliant, the way he opened up with that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he opens it. Yeah. He opens and closes with the Nirvana riff, which is why all apologies.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Which I thought was really, like Lou was saying that that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, me not knowing. Well me not knowing that that's what the song was going to be. When he started, he said something about 1994 and like somebody first kiss. And they started playing that riff. And I'm like, is all apologies about a first kiss? Is he just meant to do a cover, which I was fine with, but I was just like, oh, this is like. And then I was almost. The way Bobby was like presented, he was. I was like, does Bobby not know this is a cover of like a song that's already happened by Nirvana? But then he went into the actual song.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that song is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd like to write more lyrics for that though. 1994, big year. Oh, that was a big, big year.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Big J got laid by a 22 year old. It was technically statutory rape, but I begged her and I begged her and she finally g. We fucked in a Holiday Inn. We went to the Philly diner. I ill advisedly ordered spaghetti, had a belly full of pasta, holding in a fart for my first blow job. It was 1994. I later went on to found out that girl's uncle was molesting her, even as an adult. And that's probably why she had sex with me when I was so young. Hurt people, hurt people. Yeah. I faked coming. I said I did, but I didn't. I went in the bathroom and act like I was cleaning up, but I was just staring in the mirror being like, you did it. Oh, man. Why did. I could just learn a few chords, dude. I could play outlaw country so good.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you could.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's sleep. Middle of the night Christine just farted again.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not 1994.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that was last night.

[Robert Kelly]

That's your. That's your. That's your song. Last night. Do last night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, last night. This was great. Last night I went to. I didn't tell Christina's. I went to. I had to wake up, my stomach's been. So I went to the bathroom 6:30 in the morning and I tried to get bed. Then I was like laying in the other room. I was like, maybe I just try to crash out in here for a little bit. And then I was like, no, I want to get back in like bad bed. And I got back in bed with the dog and Christine, and Christine even did what you might think was the beginning of a sexy move. That was when she kicked out of the covers and her naked butt and her T shirt was above her naked butt. And then I got back in bed. I almost went back in the other room again.

[Robert Kelly]

What kind of underwear? Tell me, was it none? Oh, she had nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Straight to the earth.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you dog farted in the back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Farm the table, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. You dog farted. I'm asleep. I cannot be held responsible for anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I can't hold. I hold no anger towards her. She was asleep in fact. And I. What was doing being awake at 8 in the morning. But.

[Robert Kelly]

But yeah, when you pooping, is it sounding like a middle aged woman taking a piss?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, it's coming up. Yes. Oh, and it's hitting any. Everything but the water somehow. I'll tell you what's a fun thing to watch though, when you really paint the bowl with an explosion and you do that first flush and you get to see it all like shoot down the bowl. That's fun.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm surprised somebody hasn't made art out of that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, right? Somebody has. There's period blood art. There's definitely diarrhea art.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's it right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Nashville.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have no idea.

[Robert Kelly]

When did you start to get sick?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My birthday. Saturday.

[Robert Kelly]

My birthday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Saturday. I think it might be just fucking bad, like nervous stomach because I'm not sick in any other way.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you be nervous? What do you have to be nervous about?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

7,000 things. There's a lot on my plate right now where you said that a lot in your life. Yeah, yeah, I have. But this particular month is a lot. Yeah, actually the last few months has been a lot. But it's so maybe it's that. Maybe it's just because, I don't know, I don't feel like sick sick.

[Robert Kelly]

You think it nerves gives you diarrhea. Yeah, I don't know about that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nervous stomach.

[Robert Kelly]

I've heard of a nervous stomach, but I haven't heard about nervous, you know, having shits for two days.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, four days. Could you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's like cancer, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Four days.

[Robert Kelly]

That's like. Why'd you say that? Because it's funny. Exaggerated the trut for a HAHA with this guy. Now he has cancer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I mean, I'm fine with that.

[Robert Kelly]

King of hypochondria. You're getting cops.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If I was a hypochondriac. If I was a hypochondriac, I'd go to the doctor more. I don't go to the doctor at all, but I probably have stomach cancer.

[Robert Kelly]

You probably have stomach cancer?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, maybe. Yeah, it's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just want to.

[Robert Kelly]

If you do wind up getting cancer, will you marry Christine before you go?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I will.

[Robert Kelly]

Really.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. I have to enjoy my last year. No.

[Robert Kelly]

What about on your deathbed? Like you're going today?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Then we just. We come in, you get married real quick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can it have double meaning, though? Who does it over? I want to. Somebody over.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I don't think we.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Any. My ex wife will be Dunsko. Oh, I'll tell you. Be over, Gil. Pretty nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I better get that will made.

[Jacob]

She might, like, try to slip you a will while you're on morphine. Sign here, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, then good for her. Then she pulled it off.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can't get mad at that.

[Robert Kelly]

As soon as you sign, she just farts in your face. See you later, Chub, chub.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then they'll be like, oh, my God, you could even just do it through pants. And she goes, he likes it from the tap.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Grief is only love. We've got no place to go. See you later. Say hi to mama.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, look, my grief did have a place to go right in your nostrils.

[Robert Kelly]

I tell you what. Yesterday, though, I mean, you give me so much. You give me so much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, hang on, let me. That's how we operate.

[Robert Kelly]

It's really not.

[Jacob]

There was a moment.

[Robert Kelly]

You gave me so much shit for my. My intros.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And my outro was. I mean, I smooth as ice. Asked him a question to get to his song, and he was like, yeah, and answer the question. I go, well, can you play one of those for us right now? And he went, sure thing. And he went. And you went. So when you were in school, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mean, just felt it while I was doing it, but I was like, I'm a pothead, and I'm like, what if I lose this question?

[Robert Kelly]

Write it down. Get a notepad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I need a notepad. I just had to blur out during editing. Grief is only love. Wait, wait, wait. I just remembered. Are those thrift store clothes or are you like, is it put together like a whole, like, a thing or. They're crazy expensive Somehow it was so.

[Robert Kelly]

Funny because it was like, yeah, sure. And I was like, this is gonna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Be beautiful, and I'd love to play a song for you, Robert. And I was like, in a second. Though, conversely, do you think it's gonna get. Do you think the winters are getting warmer?

[Robert Kelly]

When you did it, it hit me in the chest like, you punched me. I was like, huh? What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hated it myself. A million apologies.

[Robert Kelly]

That was funny. It was very funny too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It was very funny when you found out he was a nerd. Made me laugh. So. Yo. But I'm so sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't call our guest a nerd.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on. Sorry. I apologize to you. He's wearing a Star Trek.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Star Trek shirt.

[Robert Kelly]

A jacket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Science division.

[Jacob]

I knew that too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That it was the science division. Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. You knew it was a science division.

[Jacob]

I love.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. Why don't you go on tour with them? You guys can. White Stripes. Drums and guitar.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I had two nerds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Grief is Only Love. You harmonized, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

That's all he does. He doesn't play the drums.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, no, no, he plays Grief is Only.

[Robert Kelly]

He only plays the rim of the snare. There he is. There he is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's that Nightingale.

[Jacob]

We were. It was great watching the both of you from the control room. We just kind of had your profiles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And then when Bobby was being emotional, letting. Letting. Letting himself be vulnerable and saying how much his. The song meant and how he connected to his. His stepfather.

[Robert Kelly]

That was wrong.

[Jacob]

And then Jay went like this. We just saw you side eye up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hope the video captures hardcore. That as soon as you started that. I was like, what the are you doing?

[Robert Kelly]

I forget. I forget sometimes that I'm around. I'm around funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude, Call me about that later.

[Robert Kelly]

You understand?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jake, I'll have an emotional moment with you. What are you doing? You're setting yourself up for failure up there.

[Robert Kelly]

You understand? Dude, I'm. I'm of comedian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

And I'm also a thesbian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's true.

[Robert Kelly]

And I'm an influencer, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm a comedian. Stand comedian. I had an emotional wreck, and still you got to, like, can't lay that out. Like, that.

[Robert Kelly]

It hit me, man. It hit me. Here's what hit me too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He go, he. That's sweet.

[Jacob]

If looks could talk, I know they can.

[Robert Kelly]

Cuz I felt him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh y.

[Robert Kelly]

Something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Then I looked over. Then I looked over at Christine and Black Lou who started laughing hysterically, biting their Paco. Paco started covering his mouth and his stomach while you were rolling. So I looked at you and then I looked at them. I was like, what is happening here?

[Robert Kelly]

But then I got lost cuz I felt the energy in the room and then I was trying to get out of it somehow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You go. And then it's like your words were tor from the pages of my soul.

[Robert Kelly]

Play it again. It was two. I'm glad I didn't say what I was gonna say. I was gonna.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you were done saying it, I should have been like. Anybody who got that driving in their car, the scene shift from him crying. The. We have the shift, right? Do we have him start doing the prayer in that scene? When you play that fully. Yeah. The screams for heaven people haven't heard in a while. Larry, he taught me how to read, sort of. We are called Israel. We are called Israel. Shalom.

[Robert Kelly]

What a Jewish. The emerald or me?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Donut lost you. I lost Larry. I don't lose what I got. You should tell me. Go. Steven Wilson Jr. For the first time in my life, I'm afraid, dude, I'm afraid I got you the kid.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to talk about that. That guy today. Who. Dude, I almost got into another. Yes, I'm sorry we talked about the Valley incident. I'm on the same spot, same train. This guy was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Same. Same platform. That. The other thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Same same platform.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fourth.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's 14th F. Yes. Yeah, yeah, 6th Ave. Yep. Go down. And I'm. You know, I always got my. My head on a swivel anyways now especially there. And dude, this guy like walking back and forth, mumbling, mumbling, mumbling, mumbling. And I was like, fuck, please don't come up to me. Please don't come up to me. Please don't come up to me. And he almost like saw me from a distance, was looking for somebody to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fucking up to him.

[Robert Kelly]

And he came right up to me, mumbling past me. I just kept my head down. And then he walked by me mumbling shit at me. And then he kind of just stood there and started just like, motherfucker.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And what do you look like?

[Robert Kelly]

He was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know he's a white guy, but what.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not a white guy. He was a black dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Black dude. Fucking shoelaces undone. Oh, crappy shoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Kind of crazy. Crazy person.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Homeless.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know if he was homeless because he wasn't, like, smelly, but he was. He was. You know, I look at the shoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it's raining outside.

[Robert Kelly]

I always look at shoes. If your shoes are untied, there's something wrong with you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

If you're a black guy with untied sneakers, something's wrong with you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My sneakers aren't tied.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm talking, like, flipping out. Like, the shoelaces got you gotcha. Or the. All frayed at the end. And of course. And he was just like, you want to. Fuck it. I should. I should fucking get you right now, bitch. Just. I mean, he's talking to me, but I just didn't acknowledge him and I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn, What a pussy move.

[Robert Kelly]

The train came. Nah, fuck that. I don't want to wind up like, buddy, you're right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't. You have a family that. You have a family that relies on you. Number one, A son that looks up to you, and you have to be around for them. And if that means you got to act like, I don't know, a terrified pussy on the subways, that's what you got to do. It's not a matter how those people think or how the rest of the world thinks about you. It's about how your family feels about you.

[Robert Kelly]

I have my American flag hat on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I had a time to take back the streets.

[Robert Kelly]

I just. I just bought. I just bought Max Jordans. So I had a box with Jordans in them, too, for Christmas. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

And. And my Louis Vuitton crossbody. I think that's a jinx. I think that Louis Vuitton.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not a jinx. It's a beacon. Why are you. You're running around on the subways with, like, Gucci bags, and that's sort of your fault. That's ridiculous.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. First of all, it's not. It's Louis Vuitton. It's a little upgraded. Whatever it is, we're gonna talk. Let's talk. Right? I mean, back in the day, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Won'T even take something like that to the airport anymore because they fucked me.

[Robert Kelly]

They have a hair port.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, airport.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I thought it said hair port. I thought you went to a place to get your hair done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I went to the hair port.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, look, I get it, but it's during the day. It's. It's, you know, 1:00. There's a million people. I mean, and it's funny because this guy. What's the guy who just got off? What's his name? Oh, the guy that choked out the guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

American hero. Something. Penny.

[Jacob]

Danny.

[Robert Kelly]

Daniel. Daniel, what is it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, dude, you've been dying to kill a homo since that guy.

[Robert Kelly]

No, but this guy, you know, was on the train. Daniel, Penny, he's on the train. He's a marine. This guy's getting on, telling, I want to kill you. I don't give a. If I go to jail, I'll go to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's somebody else.

[Robert Kelly]

He's. What is somebody else? This is walking up to everybody on the train. I'll kill women, black women, Spanish women, white, anybody on the train. And this guy, as a marine, stepped up, subdued the guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Once he started going at white women.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he. He went. He, he.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he's going with the blacks and Hispanic women. He was like, sucks to be them. And then he went, beautiful white.

[Robert Kelly]

True dude. It's not true.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Feel like he would get black glue to go nuts on the subway.

[Robert Kelly]

This guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you go on a beautiful white woman?

[Robert Kelly]

This guy grabbed the guy, choked him out, you know, and he was still alive, by the way. When the cops came and they just didn't. They chose not to give him CPR because he was a drug addict. They could have gave him cpr, but the cops have a choice at that time to do it or not. Because they could catch something. They could get sick from the drug.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

So they chose not to give him cpr. They could have gave him CPR and he would have been fine. He would be alive today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right?

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, mouth to mouth of the mouth to mouth.

[Jacob]

Everyone is going to die. If I have to do that, I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Only do it as tomorrow. Atm, that's called in the biz.

[Jacob]

I mean, that's a cop job to give. Mouse him out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. If I put my face between Christine's butt cheeks last night, she would have brought me back to life.

[Robert Kelly]

But they. They're the ones who chose not he. He was still alive when the cop showed up. And they chose not to bring. Give him cpr. That was their choice. Whatever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's still alive. No, he wasn't alive. He was.

[Robert Kelly]

He was. He could have been.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He could have been saved.

[Robert Kelly]

He still had a pulse is what I'm saying. Understand. He was still technically alive. They could have brought him back. They chose not to. And this guy was going to go to jail and they found him innocent.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It nice.

[Robert Kelly]

And now everybody's in a uproar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? Because it's open season on the homeless. Dude. Let's go.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's gonna get worse because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn right it is. I'm gonna start taking. Finally a motivation to take Jiu Jitsu. He goes, do you know if you know Jiu Jitsu, you can kill the homeless in New York City?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's. It's. It's like you're in the subway now and these crazy guys are coming up. There's no cops anywhere. There's no. There's no safety.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought that's what was changing. I thought that that was. There's gonna be cops everywhere.

[Robert Kelly]

No, there's cops. Cops at Westforth. That's it. West 4th has cops.

[Jacob]

Didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

But they're up at the front and they're out there. But they're. No, they're not at all night. They're only during rush hour times. And they're there and they're behind a barrier, and most of them are on their phones. Whatever. I started a. I see guys jumping over the. In front of the cops, just jumping over. Not paying the. Not paying the fee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, constantly. I heard. Yeah. Most people just jump.

[Jacob]

Glad you brought that up. I'm. I'm. I'm convinced I'm the only one that pays my fare.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I watch people. They don't even. It's not even a thought. They just hop right over. And I'm the.

[Robert Kelly]

I did it today when I was getting up, when I was getting on the training guy, I just stepped over it and I was like, all right. And I'm like, beep. And I paid my stupid thing. But I don't. Nerd.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's the nerd?

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, so scared to hop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The turnstile because they would ticket you.

[Jacob]

First of all, it's like sheep jumping over railings. That's what it looks like.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's be honest. None of us are getting over the turnstile. I'm gonna flop. You might.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I could jump over the turnstile, but I can.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you wouldn't. Your wallet chain would get hooked on the turnstile and you flop right on your cheek.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I can get over the turnstiles for sure, but it wouldn't be like. What I wouldn't be able to do is the straight. Like the push up and get your legs up and over from it. I have to do, like a sideways cartwheeling motion sort of over it, but I can't get over it.

[Jacob]

You can do it. No, not everyone does it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. I. I thought that I could. I could I could figure out a way to step over it. I'm saying there's ways I can get over it without making a thing. But if you want me to, in one motion, get over. It's the same. One of my biggest dreams, dude, is I can jump over a chest high fence one day by just doing the thing and going somehow sideways. Like you bring your legs, like, sideways and back over the other side. It's mine. Always has to be a weird, like looping legs, like, fly over.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I tried to do that. Max threw his mid over the fence and I tried. I was like, I'll get it. And I tried to. I thought I would just jump over the fence. I jumped on it and my stomach got hooked. And then the fence started bending. Oh, and I heard the other parents go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was about to pull down the whole Little League fence with my fatness.

[Jacob]

I hear they're actually putting, like, glass or plexiglas things now. Literally. Nobody I know pays.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't give a fuck.

[Jacob]

I see.

[Robert Kelly]

I know you're gonna. If you have the balls to jump over and not pay, fine. I don't give a shit. I really don't care. But the crazy people on the train.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

If. If this. If I was on that train and this guy stepped up, I would be like, thank you. Because there's a bunch of women. These women were terrified. And I see it all the time today. You. Nobody around me would have helped me at all if this guy started attacking me. This guy was two feet away from me. Call me a motherfucker, trying to get me to look at him. Trying to get me to say something to him so he could do whatever the fuck he was gonna do. Look, I got a knife on me. I'm gonna protect myself. That'd be a nightmare. Thank God the train came and he walked away. And then I had to walk. I walked down a little bit. But now you're terrified when you get off the train. Is this guy still here? I can't sit down and play my ball game like I usually play. I gotta make sure he's not coming on. And I gotta take the train after the show. And I gotta. You're always looking over your shoulder. Now Val is gonna have that mental shit. I had that for six months after I got attacked. Down, down there. I was always looking for that guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I know what they say, that true strength is that you get right back on that horse. And Val starts getting the subway again. Like, I will not let fear run my Life. But I don't subscribe to that. I say you just learned. Stay off this bum infested shit pipe that runs through the bottom of the city.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the fastest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you're a New Yorker, you have.

[Robert Kelly]

To take the subway. But it's the fat. If I wouldn't make it down to the seller, if I jumped in an Uber, I wouldn't make it down to down.

[Jacob]

You'd save so much time using the subway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. Super fast, dude. Unicycles. But I'm not gonna just fly through traffic on a unicycle.

[Robert Kelly]

I gotta take it. I have to to get to where I'm going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to.

[Robert Kelly]

I do. I do. But I'm not taking it at night anymore. From the cellar to the garage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

City bike, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I love the city bikes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

City bike, it.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it. But then that comic just died on a city bike. He died on a city bike. No helmet.

[Jacob]

That's nuts. Taken.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he got hit by a car. No helmet, hit his head. It was a city bike. Yeah, some comic died.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was a while ago.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, no, it was this year. This year.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kenny DeForest.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's this year. Yeah. He died on a city bike. Got hit by a car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It took a while too. Yeah, he didn't die right away, which sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

Sucks. I'm not wearing a helmet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never.

[Robert Kelly]

Not on a city bike. I wear my helmet when I use my bikes up in. Up in New Hampshire. I wear my helmet because nobody can see me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Night time.

[Robert Kelly]

There's no way I'm gonna put a helmet on and show up out front where you guys I got for talking about my dead dad in a sweet song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would love to see you come out of work and start putting your wallet in your sock so you can go jump on the.

[Robert Kelly]

Tucking my leg.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you gotta tuck your pant leg into your socks so it doesn't get caught in the chain.

[Jacob]

Hey, nerd.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now Jacob's picking on you on the streets.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it's crazy that people. People are still this guy. And then he went through the process and they found him not guilty twice. That one was a mistrial. Then he went back in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is that what happened? The first one was they gave him.

[Robert Kelly]

Two shots to get this guy on something. And jury of his peers, black, white, Spanish, women, men, you know, everybody straight white, men. And no. And primarily straight. And he's. And they're still fucking with this guy. I mean, this guy is not a piece of shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It does suck that he has to like look over his shoulder the rest of his life. I agree. I mean, like, listen, he did something. I don't think he went on the train. Like, next motherfuckers going to catch it.

[Robert Kelly]

Of course not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think he did. But again, we also don't know the guy. Like there might be a lot of people be like this guy, cuz remember, that's the funny when the story comes out first. Remember American Sniper? The movie American Sniper came out. They. There's so many. Jesse Ventura is one of them. But he's a loop. But I mean, there's several people I believe who have come out and been like, y. Don't celebrate. This guy's a piece of. Yeah, like American. You know, I mean, like he was a jerk off.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the guy's killing people. But here's the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, but they were like, he was like stoked to do that. He. They said like, he wasn't a guy that was like, yeah, I'm gonna go protect my country. He's like, I want to kill some people.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, he's a sniper. He's shooting people. It's crazy. But the guy that he wound up choking up, he was arrested 40 times. It's not like it was some guy who got on the train, had a bad day. This guy is, you know, arrested 40 times and yelling, I will kill you. I don't care if I go to jail. And then he. Was he supposed to just let people, somebody die?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. You take justice in your own hands.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, that's a scary thing too. Take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, swift and blinding violence, dude. Oh, all day long.

[Robert Kelly]

What would you do if somebody was on the train screaming and yelling at who? If somebody was like, I'm gonna kill you. Screaming and yelling at people, how far.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Away are they from you on the train?

[Robert Kelly]

He's around 5ft, but he was, he was all the way at the end. But he's coming, he's walking towards you, screaming at people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm fucking, I'm stand up and say, does anybody know karate? Does anybody know karate? It's. Listen, it depends. I do feel like it's dude's job as in relation to how close it's getting to you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If he's going at. If he's saying some crazy shit to a woman who's three people away from me and on the other direct side of her, right in the next side of her is another guy. Well, it's his job there.

[Robert Kelly]

So it depends on the guys in between you and the guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's the relation to where am I the closest person? Am I the closest person? That should handle this, right. You know, I mean, or try to, I should say, look, I'm sure I can get the kicked out of me.

[Robert Kelly]

By some lunatic if I was in between you and the guy. It's my responsibility.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your responsibility? Now this guy, this is the one who said he was gonna kill everybody. Yeah, he killed the Michael Jackson impersonator.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he was a Michael Jackson. This is what they're saying. This guy was just a Michael Jackson impersonator. You shouldn't have done that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was like mental.

[Robert Kelly]

He was mentally ill. And I mean.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When you're threatening, that doesn't look mentally ill to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude looks pretty badass to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, guy's nailing it. Oh, he's doing the thing.

[Jacob]

Look, no one's denying he has moves.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, he does have moves, but he wasn't wearing that. I'm sure if he was wearing that that day, he wouldn't have, he wouldn't have choked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh my God.

[Robert Kelly]

If he killed him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't choke a guy out in a marching band jacket.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you kill a black drum major? No.

[Robert Kelly]

There's Michael Jackson.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Man. So somebody does this and sometimes he says he's going to kill everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, you're right though. You don't know. There's no, here's the problem. People didn't wasn't recording him saying, I'll kill you, I'll kill you. Because they were afraid. You know, when people start doing that, you don't take your camera out right away because you're afraid that the guy's gonna see you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because he was going around the camera, he was going around to everybody in their face screaming, I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. You know it. I'm bad. I'm really, really bad. Because I had to put him down.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe he did make a mistake. Cake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm bad, I'm bad.

[Robert Kelly]

You know it, Shimon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the whole world's going to tell you right back if they ask you once again, who's bad.

[Jacob]

But when the families afterwards say, you know, he suffered from mental illness, I get who's, who doesn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I'm going to learn how to.

[Robert Kelly]

Do that to kill people.

[Jacob]

I, I, you don't have to tell me that.

[Robert Kelly]

It's just you put you people.

[Jacob]

I assume that already.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. It's nuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, somewhere in between his mental illness, he finds time to Michael Jackson his hair up.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, that's mental illness right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not a process. That is a process you have to go through.

[Robert Kelly]

It's really good. He's really sorry. Was. He was really good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's my favorite when you do little. Was it a foot shuffle? Happy feet. I'm starting to believe by watching YouTube videos. You wanna know what I do alone, bobby? I watch YouTube videos to see if I could eventually learn how to do that foot shuffle.

[Robert Kelly]

You could do it right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I can't.

[Robert Kelly]

I can get you those shoes. I think they're available. Sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, look how fucking sweet he was.

[Jacob]

She was running through my head. Now if I'm sitting there with my noise canceling headphones and there's that music is still blasting like through my headphones, I'm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Somebody killed. Yeah. Murder this guy. Murder this guy aggressively is what you say.

[Robert Kelly]

It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You go.

[Robert Kelly]

It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, sir, you look like you used to be a marine. If I give you 20 bucks, will you murder this guy?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. That's sad. That the guy was just doing. Thinking he was. I'm helping. I'm just restraining this guy until somebody shows the fuck up. And it. And this guy wound up dying, which sucks because this guy should have been in a mental institution. He should have been taken care of. And they. They release all these people now, they don't put them in the institution. They put him on the streets the next day. And it sucks. You get arrested 40 times because you're mentally ill. You should get help. This guy should have had help somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen, I don't think. I'm not saying necessarily. I think the guy who did. Who killed him should be in jail necessarily. I don't know. But I just really just don't know enough of it, I guess. And what went down. But trying to subdue them. Like there's probably a little bit of a. That guy probably Daniel Penny. Again, I'm all. It's all speculation. I don't know any. Could be a fucking loop.

[Robert Kelly]

He could be a piece.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It could be a like a loop. Who was like fucking. Who's like. Can't wait. Like he does shit like this all the time. Like get into trouble. He's the one who always got to sort it out and stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Because these are the movies we love to see. Just some vigilante.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Takes care of some guy attacking people on the train.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't have a problem this way with him being out at all.

[Jacob]

It's like Bobby said, though. If you see this guy, subdue this crazy guy, you're. You're happy. If you're on that.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody.

[Jacob]

You're so relieved.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Everybody on the. If I saw if today, some guy like him showed up and told that guy to leave me alone, I would have been so happy. I would have been like, thank you, sir. I had nobody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is the system. Megyn Kelly reacts to Jordan Neely's father saying, system is rigged. You love her responding to anything.

[Robert Kelly]

She's so hot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She goes for it too.

[Robert Kelly]

Right now she is, she's got. She's saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And she's like, blacks need to be in prison. I'm Megyn Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

She's hot. Not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's not though.

[Robert Kelly]

Marks a moment ago outside of the courthouse. Here he is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I miss my son, man. I mean, hairline to chin on that girl is a tiring walk.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's the thing, though. To hear it, to hear a guy go, I miss my son sucks. It really sucks that this guy's son is dead. But your son was arrested 40 times, had mental illness. Where the. What the are you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Stop dressing like a well known pedophile on the trains too. Just be worked up.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm just like, dude, the man. Why was your son out freaking out on a train? It's just crazy to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn. Do you think when his dad went to the hospital he was like, jordan, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Jordan?

[Robert Kelly]

Can I ask you a question?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've been hit by. You've been struck back. A former Marine.

[Robert Kelly]

Why. Why in this. Why in this interview is there a forest ranger in the background?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know exactly.

[Robert Kelly]

Why is Yogi Bear. Yeah, why is the forest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's like those great words from. From Jordan Neely's father. Now, if you get a word from Smokey the Bear, only you can stop forest fires.

[Robert Kelly]

Has anybody seen my pick in a basket?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tony Woods.

[Robert Kelly]

Why is that uniform?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe that's one of his dance partners.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's his court outfit inspector. Now we have a comic strip inspector here to talk about.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's kind of sad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course, it's like I said, no matter what. But also like, I didn't realize how like peckery thin the kid was too. Like, well, did you have to do it? Did you have to do.

[Robert Kelly]

He didn't look like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Choke him out.

[Robert Kelly]

He didn't look like. If you see the video of him choking him out. He did not. He looked like a crazy dude. I'm sure if Michael Jackson was screaming at people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's also, there's a level of. Again, I can't put myself in any of this position, other than I'm saying, like, there are things, like, I don't know if someone that small, like, my restraint would think that I'd have to, like, choke them unconscious. Should be like, I could probably, like, keep them here, you know, I mean, I could probably, like, bottle them up pretty good until help comes.

[Robert Kelly]

He's probably doing what he does.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That makes sense. I don't know, like, more than just like. More than like, the straight up, like. Like putting him down. Like, if. If you're doing that, I assume your move is like, oh, I'm gonna put him out and then let go. But that's the idea is he didn't let go right when the guy was unconscious.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he was. No, he wasn't. He didn't go unconscious. He was still breathing when he. When the people, they said it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you're not breathing when you're unconscious. I mean, you go unconscious. Kind of like.

[Robert Kelly]

He didn't look at watch. He didn't go out. He was still moving around. His stomach was going in and out. He was still going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think whatever it is, you give this guy off because he did jujitsu in a backpack pretty good.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I always got to give credit where the credit's doing these stories.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, there's a other dude there holding his arms down. There's another brother holding his arms down. There's another guy standing over him, and it's like, right now, you should let go. He was trying to fight the other black.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's white to the people. You. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

That's so funny. It's all white people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Hey, juries. The mayor was like, he. Fine, y'all take back the night. We need a bunch of these Batman running around this city. Dangerous out there.

[Robert Kelly]

So all the facts and all the evidence and made a decision, and I joined DA Braggs and stating that I respect the process. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, Giannis Pappas always. I'll never forget, made me laugh so hard in Montreal one year. I think it was the first year I saw him up there a while ago now. But it always stuck with me. I was like, man, you just get here, Giannis. He was like, yeah. I go, it's a great city. The fucking homeless here are like. Like, it's out of control.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, they're Come and sit next to you at a. Out when you're at an outside table. So they'll sit next to you while you're eating, and you have to be like, get the fuck out of here.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, it's crazy. He goes, yeah, yeah. He goes. That's the thing about New York, you know, like once a year, somebody sets one of them on fire. So they always keep that in the back of their mind. Like, maybe I shouldn't push the envelope too hard. It's just true. Once in a while, I'm just set to homeless guy on fire. Just remember, we could turn on you too. You're not the only crazy people here.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's a sad thing that happened, but I'm glad that he didn't get convicted of murder because he wasn't trying to murder somebody. He was trying to restrain somebody. And it got up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what I'm putting. I'm putting down the next Michael Jackson impersonator I see. I'm doing a copycat killing. That's what they call that. That's what they call that in the true crime world. I'm doing a copycat killer. I'm gonna do all accidental death, copycat killings.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't have to worry about me killing anybody. I just put my head down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And hold on to my Louis vu.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a family you have to worry about, so you have to sit there like a. Just like a. A.

[Robert Kelly]

But it is. I. I've been on a train in Boston. I was on a train when I used to go to call when I was in college. I took the train.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's when you were the train vigilante.

[Robert Kelly]

I know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was like, I own those trains.

[Robert Kelly]

I was on a train and there was a lady with a fur coat on, and this guy was screaming in her face, calling her a. A you and your fur coat, whatever. And then he was screaming. Other people were like, hey, leave her alone. He was like, fuck. And he was just getting violent. And I finally told him to shut the fuck up. And he came at me and I spun, kick him in the stomach.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Landed it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know where it came from.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You landed it.

[Robert Kelly]

I landed a spin kick into his stomach and he went to the floor. And I said, I go, none of you fucking people are gonna do anything. It's a woman, for God's sakes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Were you staying like this when you said it? Nobody.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I. And then I got off the train. That was my stop. And I got off and I left the guy. The guy who was on the ground, I left him on the train with the lady. I don't know what happened to her, but we gotta take a break real quick. Hang in there. You never know who's gonna Get a pivot. Next.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

To sound that good at karaoke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've just only heard me sing all stuffed up with nasal punch polyps. But now I'm on this medicine and breathing better, so this is me with less congestion.

[Jacob]

Dupixent Dupilumab is an add on prescription maintenance treatment for uncontrolled chronic rhinosinusitis with nasal polyps in adults and children 12 years and up. It can help shrink your nasal polyps so you can breathe better with less congestion. Plus, it's an alternative to surgery.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, this is your song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wish I was singing.

[Jacob]

After congested you, severe allergic reactions can occur. Get help right away for face, mouth, tongue or throat swelling, wheezing or trouble breathing.

[Robert Kelly]

Tell your doctor right away of signs.

[Jacob]

Of inflamed blood vessels like rash, chest pain, worsening shortness of breath, tingling or numbness in limbs. Tell your doctor of new or worsening.

[Robert Kelly]

Eye problems like eye pain or vision.

[Jacob]

Changes, joint aches and pain, or a parasitic infection or asthma. Don't change or stop steroid asthma or other treatments without talking to your doctor.

[Robert Kelly]

Do more with less nasal polyps.

[Jacob]

Ask your doctor about Dupixent. Learn [e-mail] or call 1-844-dupixent finding your.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

Are you holding back on travel plans this holiday break because you're afraid of a language gap? Well, no need to mind the gap if you have Babbel. I use Babel all the time. I just went to Cuba. It was so frustrating and not be able to ask for certain things. You know what? I just turned on my Babel app. All of a sudden I was speaking sentences, saying good afternoon. I got to go in and say por favor ques which means please cheese. This app was amazing because it teaches you in a fun, relatable way that all of a sudden you just know words and they're in your lexicon. I'm learning Italian with my son. I put my whole family on babbel right now with a quick 10 minute lesson handcrafted by over 200 language experts. Babbel gets you talking in a new language. Just three weeks. And with the advanced speech recognition by Babbel it's like having a personal language tutor in your pocket helping you pronunc whenever you open your mouth. I got Babbel. I hopefully know Spanish and Italian by the end of the year and I already know a bunch of words. I know a couple swears too. Not on there. From the guy I met in Cuba. Here's a special holiday deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your babel subscription. But only for the bonfire with big J Okerson and Robert kelly. [e-mail] Bonfire get up to 60% off babbel.com Bonfire spelled B a B B E L. Rules and restrictions may apply. Tiamo. Gracias. It's the bonfire. Big G Okerson, me, Robert Kelly and the crew. SiriusXM faction talk 103.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Should me and you do. Should we film me and you do one shift. Midnight to 5am midnight to 4am now 5am here when the bars close minute 5am and just wear berets and just fucking. And we'll. Me and you will police the subways for one shift.

[Robert Kelly]

We do it on a Monday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Monday night.

[Robert Kelly]

Not when there's no club people out. It's all crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's just lunatics and we. And we police the trains for one full night.

[Robert Kelly]

Are we gonna have jackets? Can we get jackets?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

What's our. What's our?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, we need the merch before we do the thing.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it gonna be called though?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guardian Angel.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Guardian Angelous. Dance. Curtis. Sliwa. They're too tainted. We gotta start a new thing.

[Robert Kelly]

We're better than that. Ours is going to be. Would you I, I, I like a purple jacket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Purple?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Let's go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. You want to peacock a little bit yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Let them know we're here.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like night patrol. Something like that.

[Robert Kelly]

We call it night patrol.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Night patrol. MTA Night patrol.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you're really trying to do this. What about. What about something with the bonfire?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like that. Yeah. I mean, it should be part of our logo. Should be the bonfire.

[Robert Kelly]

The flame.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The flame. Yeah. Oh, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Flames.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, we are the. Let me see. The. The. The flames of safety.

[Robert Kelly]

Flames of safety.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The flames of safety.

[Robert Kelly]

We all get jackets, and we all patrol together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I bet we can get. I bet we can get 50 fans to do this with us. And we just sit. 50 of us on a train. Nobody else can get on it so that we never have any problems. It's just all of us bus.

[Robert Kelly]

But it's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We do because, guys, we have to make it a little more inviting for problems to come towards us.

[Robert Kelly]

We make Jacob do the buses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Jacob, you work above ground. Me and Bobby will handle the catacombs. Dude, you're up here with the people.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we get. We get DJ Lou and Black Glue to do the path train.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I love it, dude. The flames of justice.

[Robert Kelly]

And Christine just does Ubers. She just jumps into Ubers that people have. I'm here for yourself. Safety.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The flames of justice.

[Robert Kelly]

Flames of justice.

[Jacob]

You're warm and safe. That's right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're warm and safe with the flames of justice.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we actually turn our jackets and is the flame of. Just on the back so they feel it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We should get LED lights on it. So we hit a button, and they.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It lights up, and we should talk like Batman. We should be like, you're safe now because of the flames of justice. Let crime people that you know know they will burn. Do you think you're gonna pull crime off in this city? You're gonna burn the flames of justice.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't even like it. I love it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't say we get jackets. I say we get hoodies. Yeah, we get hoodies and we get chain wallets. But it shows what rank we are in the flames of justice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the different kind of chain wallet. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It's almost like a belt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's like prospecting.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And we use the chain wallet to tie people up. It's also handcuffs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You have to bring back, like, the hair of a homeless that you beat up in order to earn your beret. You have to be. You're a prospect until then.

[Robert Kelly]

And we keep our nunchucks in our asses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes. And we carry nunchucks but they're only in our asses.

[Robert Kelly]

And we pull them up. We don't use them. We just put them under the person's nose. It. Is that what you want?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that what you want?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The flames of justice have spoken. And it smells like in here, man. We got to take back the night, dude. For Val. We're avenging Val, who's very much alive.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

This city is unsavable, man.

[Robert Kelly]

It's bad. The DA Is a da.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you mean? Why don't you give us an opportunity first?

[Jacob]

I'm League of Shadows with the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This.

[Jacob]

This city needs to be raised. Forget it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We will do it.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Jacob]

Saving it.

[Robert Kelly]

You want to just burn the city down and start over. But that's how. That's not what we stand for. We stand for justice now, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, my black friend, maybe everybody on the train car doesn't want to hear your music.

[Robert Kelly]

Even though G loves it. And he can name every song and every band member.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, this is my jam. But you seem to be making those old folks uncomfortable.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I love Cool the gang.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you continue this behavior, the flames of justice will make you burn. You all burn.

[Robert Kelly]

But after we beat somebody up, we have a dance. We have a move.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's what we should do. Yeah. And then we just. Then we hit them. Then we. Wherever. We leave their bodies on the ground. We outline them in the. You know, like the crow. We do like the.

[Robert Kelly]

Like lighter fluid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With lighter fluid, we make the bonfire logo. And then before we leave, you've lighted on your thing. And he goes. And he goes. These goddamn flames, adjusted, are taking the city back into their own hands. I want to work with you, Commissioner. There's no commissioner here, just a police chief. Right, Sorry.

[Jacob]

Can you guys talk to my landlord?

[Robert Kelly]

About what?

[Jacob]

About the rats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Send him on the subway.

[Jacob]

That he won't do anything about.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We gotta sit on the subway. We run the subway.

[Robert Kelly]

As you see, we don't. You're gonna have to talk to Brendan Sagalo, Mike Feeney, and Mike Canney. For the suburbs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're the boots on the ground.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. They're the boots on the ground. In the burrows, me and Bobby are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Making sure the subways are safe for all.

[Robert Kelly]

Where the flames of justice world up in Queens, they're the borough burns.

[Jacob]

Gotcha.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, you have. You have a rat problem.

[Jacob]

The garbage area I've had. He won't get rid of the massive amounts of garbage that they just leave it there for weeks on end. I want to put my garbage out in the bin.

[Robert Kelly]

You screamed.

[Jacob]

I opened it up and a rat went. Launched at me.

[Robert Kelly]

But how?

[Jacob]

And then I went. Well, I don't want to.

[Robert Kelly]

You screamed.

[Jacob]

I didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

You screamed. No, buddy, you screamed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was it more of a yelp?

[Robert Kelly]

What? You. What did you do? You yelped.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You jump on a chair and take a broom.

[Jacob]

I'm still reeling about my china joke earlier. Can we move on?

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. There's no way I went like this.

[Jacob]

Whatever.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you didn't.

[Jacob]

Yes, I did.

[Robert Kelly]

You yelped. You yelp. Which is a man scream.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would have, too.

[Jacob]

It was the worst noise I've ever made.

[Robert Kelly]

I have to hear it. I have to hear it. I have to hear it. You have to reenact it right now. You're going out with your traps.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You remember I made these noises.

[Jacob]

It was.

[Robert Kelly]

Was it at night?

[Jacob]

No, it was day. That's why I only go there in the day, because I think in the day it's safe.

[Robert Kelly]

You think rats don't come out in the day?

[Jacob]

Typically, no. They wait for them to take. They take over the night.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I say something? They're not bats. That's bats, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They do dwell more at night, though.

[Jacob]

They do a little bit. They're a little rat nervy at night.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So. So you go. You go. You go to put your trash out, you grab the lid. You think you're safe, because it's not.

[Jacob]

I missed the. The rat entrance that they chewed. There's a rat size hole. Yeah, in the. In the lid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Do you think we summoned them when Generation Kill played the Rat King live here? Do you think they've been coming? They're looking for them.

[Jacob]

I'm so ashamed of the noise I made.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was that. It was that audio of you. Did you speak to them in rat?

[Jacob]

No. That's rat talk for a. I made you flinch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got punch buggies? The rat went up and went.

[Jacob]

It was this close.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you see that? Yeah, that. That screams like that all the time.

[Jacob]

The thing flew like.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that the guy who watches women's soccer? Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, it does.

[Jacob]

Maybe it does know that I watch women's soccer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, it knows.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it knows.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It picks on anybody.

[Jacob]

It's twice as bad as you think.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to know. I think I'm gonna do my. What? I think it was, and you do yours. I think you open the lid, you're taking your trash out. You're nervous. You're nervous.

[Jacob]

You're nervous. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You look around. There's no rats. You open the lid, you hear, all's.

[Jacob]

Well with the world.

[Robert Kelly]

You hear this, and you go, go. And then you get manly. I say you go, girl. And then you become manly. You get your composure. You're like, God damn it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You punch brick dust off the wall.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. God damn landlord Bobby.

[Jacob]

Now I'll tell you the truth. That's way worse than what you described.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna talk to this Chinese.

[Jacob]

There's a twist to the Jewish prick. There's a twist to the story.

[Robert Kelly]

What is it? You had no underwear.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wasn't a rat. It was a dog.

[Jacob]

No, no, no. It was a rat.

[Robert Kelly]

One of your slippers, size of a.

[Jacob]

A kitten.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was wearing your old pants.

[Jacob]

I'm here. The bins here. I open the lid, and there's no noise. I hear you. You know, like when the. Your brain doesn't have time to comprehend what you. The noise.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. When you did that joke earlier about the china and the same thing happened.

[Jacob]

The brain didn't stop me from saying it.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I couldn't, because my brain shut down.

[Jacob]

So the only. I hear two seconds of rustling a second, and then this rat goes, like, right in front of my face.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry. What did it do?

[Jacob]

And then. I'm not saying it again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? I loved it.

[Jacob]

Because he has it on tape.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I just. I didn't hear it. I was. What it.

[Jacob]

Do you hear the rat? That thing?

[Robert Kelly]

The beginning. It did have a. It flew like it had.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

How'd it go?

[Jacob]

Good, because it literally launched off the. The garbage. The trash.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was waiting for this moment.

[Jacob]

And ten feet into the. Into the. To the neighbor. The other building.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a regulation dunk.

[Robert Kelly]

And what is what?

[Jacob]

And I went.

[Robert Kelly]

What was the sound?

[Jacob]

And, well, you want the sound?

[Robert Kelly]

I made the whole sound. I want the shh. I want the lid. Then the shh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is radio, Jacob. It's like the old thing. Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. We're trying to get confident.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The thunder was going.

[Jacob]

I hear two seconds of the. I'm telling you, half a second the thunder came. I hear. And then. And then it launches across my face. And I go. I don't want to say.

[Robert Kelly]

Just do it.

[Jacob]

And then Bobby. And then Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The winner for best impression of the year goes to. Jacob Atat for trash Rap.

[Jacob]

But Bobby, it's not over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Bobby's first bonfirey. This is. This is Jacob's first bonfire.

[Jacob]

And then I do regain my composure like a man, and I'm like. I do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, my voice thinks, lucky it ran away.

[Jacob]

And then here's what happens. The other rat comes out of the. Of the garbage. There's a second rat.

[Robert Kelly]

They're like deer, dude. If there's one, there's always another one.

[Jacob]

But I'm already traumatized, so I can't think straight. The second one, after I, I, I bitched.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And then.

[Robert Kelly]

And then became a man.

[Jacob]

Deepened my voice so that hopefully somebody heard that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

The other rat came out and went.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a good one. Wow.

[Jacob]

And then I. It ruined my whole day.

[Robert Kelly]

Of course. It ruined everybody's day.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

No, because they thought a little kid was being raped.

[Jacob]

Yeah. That's what it sounded like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, great. There's child rape happening right in my building.

[Jacob]

It sounded like child rape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta tell you, Christine didn't make a sound like that when that rat ran right up her body.

[Jacob]

It was two.

[Robert Kelly]

When did it, when did a rat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

In front of our building, when we lived in the East Village. It was nuts. A rat just came out of the garbage. Like, the garbage was like, sit on the street.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And we were sitting on the thing smoking, and. And it just ran out. It ran. Christine was sitting on our steps, like the stoop step, which is only three. It ran up. It ran up her inner leg, up her, like, torso. Just went, like, up and came back down and darted back into the street. Right. Pretty much just the move it did. It was crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Didn't run up my body 100%.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it was. It was crazy.

[Jacob]

It didn't. Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay.

[Jacob]

Because I need it not to have.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Happened to her so that she took it so well.

[Jacob]

Yes. It makes. It hurts me so much that she took it better than I.

[Robert Kelly]

That she didn't scream, like, it didn't run up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She grabbed it by the tail and bit its fucking head off, dude. Like V. Here's why.

[Jacob]

Here's why it hurt me so bad.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't even do you a screen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was gonna say I smoke. I can't get to that. I can't hear that octave.

[Jacob]

My voice is already high, so it's. It's no problem. But see, on YouTube, I watch.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, okay.

[Jacob]

The second one hurt me worse than the first one. The second noise out of my mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because you thought you would get. You thought. You collected yourself earlier.

[Jacob]

I thought I had let the most unmanly thing out of me that could possibly. That I could possibly have uttered in my life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now you have attention.

[Jacob]

And then I fixed it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I handled the situation.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And then it.

[Robert Kelly]

With a manly.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

And then the second one was way worse than the first one.

[Robert Kelly]

The second one? Yeah, because the true you needed to get out. You tried to hide it.

[Jacob]

See, Bobby, this is why I thought.

[Robert Kelly]

You were a cowboy. Cowboy.

[Jacob]

I am.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought that.

[Jacob]

But in the city.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, nobody's a rat rancher.

[Jacob]

I'm not a rat rancher.

[Robert Kelly]

Cowboys aren't afraid of rats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would love though, if there was footage of you with a horse just wrangling rats into a circle. And I'm running them out of town, guys.

[Jacob]

No, If I was Florida, Jacob, that thing would. Would have a. A bullet through it.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you'd have your pelican, I'd have my gun.

[Jacob]

I'd have a.22 pellet through its brain.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but without a gun, I would.

[Jacob]

Spend hours actually just waiting and picking them off.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. Without a gun, you're Bette Midler.

[Jacob]

No, this is. The city is sewage.

[Robert Kelly]

The city's bad.

[Jacob]

I'm not. I'm a. I live off the. On the land, on my ranch.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Jacob]

It's clean living.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, but rats are a city. Iguanas, dude. Think of them.

[Jacob]

Yeah, but you're not allowed to shoot them here. You have to take it.

[Robert Kelly]

You can. You can hit them. You could hit it with a bat.

[Jacob]

Punch it with my fist. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could make fucking Negan bats and.

[Robert Kelly]

Fucking kill Rip with. Have punched it right in its face, grabbed midair.

[Jacob]

Young Rip. Heavy Rip. Or a young rip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not fat Rip.

[Robert Kelly]

Fat Rip would have ate it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's good eating right there. That's not wasted fat.

[Robert Kelly]

Would have barbecued that.

[Jacob]

I watch on YouTube. This is what hurts me more than anything. CIA agent Jason Hansen. And he teaches you how to react in. When you're being. In any situation. If you're being kidnapped.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

By Russians. He'll. He'll actually go through every scenario how to get out of a trunk. But he tell you if a guy's eyeballing you, how to react. You give him that, you stare him back in the face. Because the second you look like a. Yeah. You're a target.

[Robert Kelly]

Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And that's what these rats are. Rat friends.

[Jacob]

But the ratched me out twice. Twice.

[Robert Kelly]

Him and his wife.

[Jacob]

I didn't know his henchmen. His little sidekick was his wife.

[Robert Kelly]

Wife. That was his wife. His wife. I bet his wife. He's like, honey, come out. He's a. It's okay.

[Jacob]

It felt. Neither of them felt any.

[Robert Kelly]

Now you can't. Now you're afraid to throw the trash out.

[Jacob]

I have not thrown my trash out.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you gonna do.

[Jacob]

I emailed my. For whatever it's worth, I throw. I don't know what to do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, you're gonna get your masculinity back right now because you're gonna eat this thick man cheese and meat sandwich made of rat. You can't have it. It.

[Jacob]

It's two weeks before the show. I always. You know how bad. You know how I go into full diet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See, I was giving you full chance to like regain your masculinity.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm amaz all the same.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, they are.

[Jacob]

I'm in full training mode for the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you tell me what this is again, Jay? This is steak and cheese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chopped cheese.

[Robert Kelly]

Why do they call it chopped cheese?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cuz it's cheeseburger.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I love cheeseburger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But we're taking this again. This is a taste of Pueblo food truck.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Authentic Mexican and Latin foods.

[Robert Kelly]

Are we supposed to eat on?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, no, but show's over pretty much. We're just gonna take a bite here.

[Robert Kelly]

We'll take a little bite.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We want to give them their shout out. What if you spit it right back out and this is a sucks. I'll tell you what looks good.

[Robert Kelly]

Looks good. Ready?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. Okay. I'm getting flickers of tomato. The fondant's nice touch.

[Robert Kelly]

It's got a little spice to it, but not too much. Wow. That is good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's delicious.

[Robert Kelly]

That is ridiculously good. That is good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's. I'd actually argue there's a good chance this is better than a Boston steak and cheese.

[Robert Kelly]

You're out of your mind. You're out of your mind. May rats attack you tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you wish that evil on me, you son of a bitch.

[Robert Kelly]

Crawls right up your chest. I hope it crawls up your shorts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God. You were ready to get a pivot for all of your great behavior today. But that right there hurt me.

[Robert Kelly]

That hurts me that I didn't know I was on a pivin scale.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You were a pivot scale. You were about to get yourself a pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I take it back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's too late.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I can take it back.

[Jacob]

I want. I'm returning my piven because of your behavior today. No, the rat behave. I can't even. I don't deserve a pivot for the rap story.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I understand. It's okay. It's okay. You know what though, Jacob? Again. That self awareness always gets me. You're getting that pivot back, my friend. Look at that million one chance can do that again. Again.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's hug it out. I'm going to say this. Why Philly cheese steak better than Boston steak and cheese?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. Wow. This has been a real experience.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm going to say that. If there's one thing you guys do right, it's not socializing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

It'S steak and cheese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cheese and steak. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Cheese, cheese, steak. I'll say it for you. Cheesesteak. You guys. You guys make a fantastic. Probably the best cheesesteak out there because.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You just got yourself a cheesesteak. Morgan steaks.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want that. I want a pivot. Oh, did that shoot out?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry. There you go. There's a pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. What the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you also get yourself a cheesesteak.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll take the cheesesteak. You guys do do a cheesesteak, right? And you know what you do? This is why you're good. It's not all the same thing. Every place does a different version a little bit. A little bit bit. Some have the sesame seed bun, but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It chops it all up. Can I tell you something about Robert Kelly?

[Robert Kelly]

What's up, buddy?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's hilarious.

[Robert Kelly]

I am.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's going to be all over the place, everybody. Starting with the Gramercy Theater. That already happened. Oh, it was great. After that. He's going to be in Beacon, New York this weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

Special guest showing up this weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, Go.

[Robert Kelly]

His name is by. From an acronym.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

MC Search. I got it. MC Search, Kansas City, Batavia, Illinois. You can catch Bobby and MC Search all over the country. Really? But every Tuesday night, 7pm at the Fat black pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. You can check out his tour dates, a bunch of his content. Get tickets for all those shows at Punchup Live. Robert Kelly. And of course, check out Bobby's new YouTube channel, YouTube.combert Kellycom comedy Robert Kelly comedy.

[Robert Kelly]

Make sure you go there and sign up. Subscribe to that. We're putting the kill box out. I think next week, after Ari's you be tripping show, the Cuban show comes out. We're gonna be putting that up there. Big J is going to be at Helium in St. Louis this weekend, December 12th through the 13th. After that, he'll be in the West Palm Beach, Providence, Boston, the Wilbur. For tickets and all other tour dates, visit Big or punch up live BigJokerson. Make sure when you go to Wilbur, bring him a steak and cheese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Donnie Wahlberg said he was going to come to the Wilbur. Netcredit is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit. When other lenders say no, apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by Netcredit or Lending Partner banks and serviced by NetCredit application subject to review and approval. Learn [e-mail] partner partner net credit Credit to the people at Ameca Insurance we.

[Jacob]

Know it's more than just a car.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That took you cross country and back.

[Robert Kelly]

And the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Ameca Auto Industry Insurance Amiga Empathy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is our best policy.