The Loneliest Show

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: The Loneliest Show
Date: March 25, 2026
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Guest: Jim Norton (frequent contributor)
Producer/Staff: Jacob, DJ Lou, Black Lou, Christine

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Episode Overview

This episode, titled "The Loneliest Show," features Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, joined by Jim Norton, reflecting with signature irreverence on their status at SiriusXM, the lack of high-profile guests on their show, the inner workings of comedy gigs and podcasting, and all the random distractions that mark their Fishbowl live tapings. The trio riffs on the ongoing Gotham FC women’s soccer team interview happening in the nearby studio, laments their perpetual outsider status at SiriusXM, delves into nostalgia for bygone comedians, and shares personal anecdotes, all while blending self-deprecating humor, inside jokes, and dark asides.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Fishbowl" Envy & SiriusXM Hierarchies

The hosts are audibly (and comically) frustrated as they observe the Gotham FC women’s soccer team being courted by other SiriusXM personalities and denied to them, highlighting the show’s "loneliest" feeling.

• [01:13] They spot the U.S. Girls Soccer Team in the SiriusXM Fishbowl studio and joke about never getting big-name guests themselves, despite ample production resources.
• [02:31] Jay: “SiriusXM hates us, I think. Secretly. Or not secretly. Yes, they do.”
• [02:54] Norton: “Yeah, we’re the loss. Every year Bonfire didn’t do it again.”
• [03:32] On why guests wouldn’t want to do their show: “We have to hire a Filipino gay boy to come set cameras up awkwardly right in the middle of the table,” riffing comically on their lack of resources or support staff.

2. Comedy Nostalgia & Bits that "Don’t Hold Up"

The trio fondly—but sometimes critically—recalls comedians they idolized in the past.

• [04:41] Discussing Dennis Wolfberg, Bob Nelson, Michael Winslow and physical comedy:
  “Physical comedy does not die. It’s evergreen. It lasts forever, dude.” – Jim Norton [06:19] “So wrong.” – Bobby Kelly
• They share stories about working with or watching legendary comics, debating who’s still performing and whether their acts would hold up today.

3. Women’s Soccer, Studio Logistics, and Inside Jokes

The ongoing presence of the women’s soccer team in the building drives much of the banter, with Jacob (producer) being needled for his fandom and studio politics revealed regarding furniture and guest allocation.

• [08:39] Extended riffing on Jacob and his anticipated meet-and-greet with players, including juvenile (sometimes risqué) jokes about which team member he cares most about.
• [11:04] “Then she once put in an article by Christine, called it rock and roll. It was the ramblings of a psychopath.” – Bobby
• The hosts lampoon the difference in treatment between the "Bennington" show and their own, down to who gets comfortable chairs for guests.

4. SiriusXM’s Bungled Booking System

Recurrent frustration over not getting big bookings or being passed over for famous guests.

• [23:20] “They used to send us before you got here, Bob… the list of people who were coming and then we’d right back, ‘Yes, that person.’ And then those things never happened.” – Bobby
• [24:01] “We’re 50/50 on big guests. Pulled them directly out of the hallway to... Booked.” – Jay. Conan O’Brien and Paris Hilton cited as ‘hallway gets.’

5. Lamenting Being "Low on the Totem Pole"

The show accepts it’s an underdog at SiriusXM and riffs on the absurdity and inefficiencies of booking procedures.

• [24:44] “Well, he [Stephen Wilson Jr.] found out that we were low on the totem pole here.” – Bobby
• Several anecdotes about last-minute cancellations, near-misses with celebrities, and how even friends don’t reliably make it in.

6. Comedic Introspection, Self-Worth & Guest Policy

Extended meta-discussion about what makes their show unique and the “best interviews” claim.

• [31:28] Bobby: “We do good interviews, by the way. Our interviews are not only insightful, hilarious… We take risks and make it funny.”
• Jacob (producer) is grilled for not securing the Gotham FC for their show.
  “You didn't think to ask them? That wouldn’t even cross your brain. That would have been good for you. They would have been sitting all around you.” – Jim [41:11]
  Jacob replies with his trademark nervousness and devotion.

7. Personal Stories & Vulnerability

As the episode winds toward its close, the hosts open up a bit more with stories about family, therapy, and, hilariously, men crying at movies.

• [27:26] “You make a great. You're a great cook... That stromboli is great. Your meatballs are great.” – Jim, complimenting Bobby.
• [51:16] onwards: Bobby and Jacob discuss "Madison," a Taylor Sheridan show, and the virtue (or awkwardness) of men crying at emotional TV.
  "I cry with Dawn. Try not to cry in front of Max." – Jim [53:38] "You don’t see your feelings. Why can’t a man cry at a TV show with Kurt Russell and Michelle Pfeiffer?" – Bobby [53:41]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “SiriusXM hates us, I think. Secretly. Or not secretly.” – Jim Norton [02:31]
• “We’re the loss. Every year Bonfire didn’t do it again.” – Jim Norton [02:54]
• “Physical comedy does not die. It’s evergreen. It lasts forever, dude.” – Jim Norton [06:19]
• “We ruin our heroes… Go watch [Bill Hicks] again, man. Is he really letting you know how it is in the world?“ – Bobby [05:44]
• “I can't believe you're missing the interview… Jacob, you're thinking there's a chance it might be over soon. You might get a chance to run out there.” – Bobby Kelly [12:01]
• “If they're professional, the highest level, gold medal winning athletes… Outrun them.” – Bobby Kelly [43:34]
• “We just don’t know… You didn’t think to ask them? That wouldn’t even cross your brain?” – Jim Norton [41:11]
• “We’re 50/50 on big guests. Pulled them directly out of the hallway… to booked.” – Big Jay [24:01]
• “I tell everybody outside this room that you guys give the best interviews and people… have the best time being with you guys.” – Jacob [45:06] (before quickly recanting and justifying guest shyness)

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:06 – 04:00] – Jokes about being the “loneliest show”, the US Girls soccer team, Fishbowl FOMO
• [04:41 – 07:55] – Comedy nostalgia: Dennis Wolfberg, Bob Nelson, Michael Winslow, and who “holds up”
• [08:39 – 18:00] – Extended riffing on Jacob’s women’s soccer fandom; banter about chairs, staff, and production
• [23:20 – 24:44] – Frustrations with booking, the SiriusXM talent gauntlet
• [31:28 – 33:34] – Discussion: What makes their interviews better, risks, notable moments (e.g., grilling Gavin Rossdale; mistaken identity with “Punisher”)
• [51:16 – 55:55] – TV talk: “Madison,” Taylor Sheridan, men crying at movies (and why Max covers Jim’s eyes)
• [61:02 – End] – Plugs for upcoming live shows, new joke night at the Comedy Cellar's Fat Black Pussycat
• (Scattered) – Producer-staff inside baseball, call for fan-submitted joke premises [62:10], random asides about studio equipment, comfort, and SiriusXM bureaucracy

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Podcast Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Relational, caustically funny, sometimes self-effacing, always conversational with frequent inside-baseball comedy and radio production talk.
• Takeaway: Despite being perpetually overlooked for big-name guests, the hosts take pride in the authenticity, sharpness, and unpredictability of their show. Their camaraderie, quick wit, and collective griping are the real attractions, turning every missed booking into a reason to riff harder.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode captures The Bonfire’s signature brand: funny, frustrated, and fiercely honest about showbiz hierarchies, the quirks of SiriusXM, and the realities of comedy life. If you want a window into how comics really see themselves—and each other—when the mics are both on and off, this encapsulates it. Plus, if you love when jokes turn into philosophical points about why vulnerability in comedy matters, you’ll find it here, too.

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Next time: Maybe T.J. Miller. Maybe Bruce Bruce. Maybe just their friends.
As always: “We’re the loss. Every year Bonfire didn’t do it again.” ([02:54])

Transcript

[Bobby Kelly]

Behind every health care statistic is a

[Jim Norton]

person's face paying the price. Big Pharma just increased the prices of 350 drugs. Hospital monopolies are marking up procedures by 300%. The drug companies and hospitals set health care prices and they're too high. America's health insurers are on the side

[Bobby Kelly]

of people working hard to negotiate costs

[Jim Norton]

down and make health care work better for everyone. We see more than numbers.

[Bobby Kelly]

We see you.

[Jim Norton]

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[Bobby Kelly]

room for shipping delays.

[Jim Norton]

That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're the loneliest show.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Yep.

[Bobby Kelly]

They got the US Girls soccer team out there. Fishbowl.

[Jim Norton]

Look at him smiling. I've never seen smile.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go watch the thing.

[Jim Norton]

He's never smiled at the beginning of any of our shows. Has he ever smiled?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. I know. That's what I'm saying. Why don't you go watch the show?

[Jacob]

He actually turned the AC show to do. I'm a professional.

[Jim Norton]

You turn the AC up because you're all hot and bothered, aren't you?

[Jacob]

It is a little warm in here. I unzipped.

[Bobby Kelly]

These girls are all six inches taller than you.

[Jim Norton]

Six.

[Jacob]

It was disturbing. Like, Jaden Shaw is definitely taller than me. I think Rose is my height, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

But which one's Jaden Shaw? I'm kidding.

[Jim Norton]

People listening in their car.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's only one black.

[Jim Norton]

There you go.

[Jacob]

Come on, Trinity.

[Jim Norton]

Come on, Trinity.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lacking Latinas. No Latinas there. Just whites in a black.

[Jim Norton]

Is it all whites in a black?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Jim Norton]

And is that their nickname?

[Jacob]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, should be. It's a lot to put on a jersey.

[Jim Norton]

Whites in a black. Whites in a black.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Katie Nolan. Our friend Katie Nolan is over there interviewing the football club, which never. No. Good for Katie. This is.

[Jacob]

This is awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a big get. It's very good. However, we can't have TJ Miller show up to our show.

[Jim Norton]

SiriusXM hates us, I think. Secretly. Or not secretly. Yes, they do.

[Bobby Kelly]

We must make enough in advertising to just, like, get us through or a tax write off our pay. Maybe we're a tax write off that Works.

[Jim Norton]

They're laundering money through us.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess they do have to fill shows.

[Jim Norton]

Every company has to have a loss.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

To get taxes. Maybe we're the loss.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, maybe we're the loss.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, we're the loss. Every year Bonfire didn't do it again.

[Bobby Kelly]

They do not take us seriously on giving us guests that mean anything at all from them on our own. We get them.

[Jim Norton]

We have the staff and we three producers and DJ Lou. We have the. The people to have the function of a great interview. Or people could. I mean, right here we have cameras.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they're there. Oh, they exist for sure. Oh, yeah. It would look professional if they walked in. I understand. We're saying yes now. When they're gonna be like, which one's my camera? I go, all of them or none of them. It doesn't matter. They're not all.

[Jim Norton]

We have to hire a Filipino gay boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have a Filipino gay boy to come set cameras up awkwardly right in the middle of the table.

[Jim Norton]

No, he doesn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we mean Paco's not gay. We're saying he's a gays boy. He's the bully of a gay.

[Jim Norton]

That's what I meant.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know. I was just making sure people didn't think you said it wrong. I don't want people to think you were just calling Paco gay. He's not gay at all.

[Jim Norton]

I would never. Well, we're gonna find out this weekend coming up.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess this weekend we will find out.

[Jim Norton]

I'm gonna find out. I'm taking him on the road with me. I'm gonna test his gayness.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

I'm gonna make him do. Yeah, I'm gonna test it.

[Bobby Kelly]

He'll do whatever you want if you don't. Paco to go out and host a show with like tape over his wiener. He would do it.

[Jim Norton]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

100.

[Jim Norton]

All right, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll have him get slowly undress on stage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Until. By the time your set's over, I want you down your underwear. Never acknowledge taking your clothes off. He will do that.

[Jim Norton]

I want you to do an Angel Salazar set.

[Bobby Kelly]

Salazar it. Yeah. Check it out.

[Jim Norton]

Salazar.

[Bobby Kelly]

A real check it out moment.

[Jim Norton]

Check it out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Check it out.

[Jim Norton]

Can you take that? Then he's dead. Can we start doing that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Of course we can. Did Dennis Wolfberg have any lines that were big? I like to use his thing.

[Jim Norton]

He just went the house at home.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you get to work with him or did he die before you were working?

[Jim Norton]

Died before I worked.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

But he was around. I think he came to Boston one time. He was funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never saw him live, but he was one of the guys that was always on those shows and so recognizable because of his weird face. But he's making me laugh.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was like, let's see if it holds up.

[Jim Norton]

I think it probably does.

[Bobby Kelly]

Give me some Wolfberg.

[Jim Norton]

He had a thing,

[Bobby Kelly]

the eye bugging. But I'm. Oh, he's gonna talk for sure about getting something shoved up your butt. I think this joke was on everything he ever did. And then he says something again. It's about the. It's the noise he makes in the. And the eyes when he talks about getting it shoved up his butt.

[Jim Norton]

It's like everything builds up and then shoots out. Yeah. This shoots out his mouth and eye.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

One eye.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

No wonder he died. He's probably pushing his fucking brain out his ear.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think his eye exploded. He bled out. That was his. That was his delivery.

[Jim Norton]

Bartenders. It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then do the face. The face with the eyes.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Didn't hold up.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it didn't hold up.

[Jim Norton]

We do this a lot.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. We go back, ruin our heroes.

[Jim Norton]

We ruin, like, people. I thought like, my whole life, I was like, man, remember what's name? Yeah, dude, he was the greatest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Well, that's the problem is, like, you really. When anybody just lays that hunk of, like, Bill Hicks and blah, blah, blah, I always go watch it again, man. Yeah, really go watch it again. Is it really. Is it buckling you? Is he nailing it? Is he really letting you know how it is in the world? He was 33 when he died.

[Jim Norton]

Who was the guy that had the football helmet?

[Bobby Kelly]

Bob Nelson.

[Jim Norton]

Now that's gotta hold up.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No way, dude.

[Jim Norton]

Physical comedy does not die. It's evergreen. It lasts forever, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

So wrong.

[Jim Norton]

I'm telling you right now, it's gonna. It's gotta hold up.

[Bobby Kelly]

None of it.

[Jim Norton]

It's gotta.

[Bobby Kelly]

From Philly. Philly guy. Philly guy. When I started, when I would do open mics at the Comedy Cabaret, and, like, real. A real shitty room in northeast Pennsylvania, I would do it. And. And the poster was always, like, bob Nelson and Friends, because, you know he's gonna do his characters.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, in there. Is Bob Nelson still currently working? He might be dead.

[Jim Norton]

Yes. No, he's still working. He does, like, Uncle Vinny's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Yep. He still does Jersey and Philly and stuff. Like those type of clubs.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd go watch Bob Nelson. That's what Caroline is Always good for something like that. Yeah, like a late night Thursday. Bob Nelson or something, but never got to.

[Jim Norton]

You know who's really working now a lot? The guy from police academy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Michael Winslow.

[Jim Norton]

Michael Winslow. He's working.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's see. Oh, what's this going on? This is his dates.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bob Nelson. West Babylon, New York. Port Jefferson, New York. Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Uncle Vinny's. There you go. Atlantic Heights, New Jersey, at a movie theater. Port Jefferson. Place called Theater 3. A private gig. There's no reason to put that on your list. Why do you put a private party on your schedule?

[Jim Norton]

Why did he put to be announced on private party?

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll figure it.

[Jim Norton]

Beef up the page.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, He's a casino. A casino. Wait, it's a casino in Missouri. But we're not sure when, which. No, that's not when. That would be the name of the place. Maybe the club's not built yet.

[Jim Norton]

What's the last one?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm telling you, it says a Casino in St. Joseph's Montana. To be announced. He doesn't know. Where was that? Montana. Is that Missouri? That's Montana.

[Jim Norton]

Dude, I was so proud of you that you knew it, because I didn't and you did. You said Montana.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mo is Montana. Missouri.

[Jim Norton]

Dude, just stay Montana. I'll agree with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob's so trying to.

[Jim Norton]

He's so trying to stay with us right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's staring at these girls on the screen.

[Jim Norton]

He's staring at these.

[Jacob]

It's not usually on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. I didn't put that on.

[Jim Norton]

Well, we're gonna leave it on to see how focused you can be on our show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, we're trying to keep you smile in the background. So when I look over, we think you're smiling at us, but you're just staring awkwardly at the vaginas of four women you're about to go take a picture with.

[Jim Norton]

We should. We should pay. We should play this every day on the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

They have no idea. Yeah. Can we just loop this? They have no idea. The thoughts Jacob's having about them right now. Which one would you go for first? Dude, before you take a picture with them, I want you to tell me these things. Which one would you have? First dream scenario. You get to go in there right now. I was going. You send Katie out of the room. Katie, get out of here. You're my friend's lady. I can't be have you be part of this. Then you just start bending these girls over one at a time. What's the order?

[Jacob]

I don't think like that about our national team.

[Bobby Kelly]

But now you have to, because I asked.

[Jim Norton]

I don't want to, you know, sell it.

[Jacob]

He just has to bring it to the gutter immediately. Which ones would I date?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no.

[Jim Norton]

Which one would you bend over?

[Bobby Kelly]

None of these girls.

[Jim Norton]

The Ron Bennington chairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

None of these girls will date you.

[Jim Norton]

Not the bonfire stools.

[Bobby Kelly]

These are comfortable chairs. They got. Oh, God damn, Katie. I never even thought about how comfortable Katie looks in her chair.

[Jim Norton]

She looks great. Looks fantastic.

[Bobby Kelly]

They wouldn't have even thought of putting her in some shitty high chair.

[Jacob]

You asked that these have be at the last remote show we did. And because Bennington has them and it turns out they own the chairs and the producer just brings them in her car.

[Bobby Kelly]

They lied to you, Jacob.

[Jacob]

No, no. Those are.

[Jim Norton]

Those are Ron's chairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

The producers even have a car.

[Jim Norton]

She does. No, Deb.

[Jacob]

She has Deb.

[Jim Norton]

No, Deb has a car. No, I've been in it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is it? A Astro van? That pit, three of these giant chairs.

[Jim Norton]

It's a Jeep.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Does she fit two of these giant chairs?

[Jacob]

She brings them. I asked. How did those chairs get there? She's lied to you. I own them and I bring them to the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's lied to all of us before.

[Jim Norton]

I want to say something right now. You think those are Bennington's chairs that Deb brought in for the team?

[Jacob]

Not the ones here.

[Jim Norton]

What are those?

[Jacob]

She has her own for remote shows.

[Jim Norton]

What are the ones here?

[Jacob]

Okay, those are.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're not allowed to have those either.

[Jacob]

You can get them. I didn't realize.

[Jim Norton]

What you're saying to us is that we should buy our own chairs and

[Bobby Kelly]

bring them to go with our cameras

[Jacob]

in Paco, if you want to do a remote show, you have to bring your own chairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Jacob]

Or you have to settle for the chairs at a venue. At the venue.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would bet $100 million that Deb does not bring chairs.

[Jim Norton]

She told me Deb is like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of course she did.

[Jim Norton]

I'm gonna call her. She does.

[Bobby Kelly]

She'll say anything. Deb?

[Jacob]

Well, I mean, she got me good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then she once put in an article by Christine, called it rock and roll. It was the ramblings of a psychopath.

[Jim Norton]

What was it? Which was a manifesto.

[Jacob]

It was a manifesto.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a manifesto.

[Jim Norton]

Pretty. Let's bring it up. Awesome. I'd love to remember. Was it interesting? I'll read it. It was not. What were you saying in it? Who knows?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

That's great. Did you read it?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, read that.

[Jacob]

He's Done it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

I'm gonna get it printed like the constitution.

[Bobby Kelly]

Put on some scrolls.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, well, we all sign it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That wasn't a shot at you, Christine, by the way. It was just saying, like, you know, Deb will do whatever I just thought

[Jim Norton]

disappeared forever and ever.

[Bobby Kelly]

She'll say what I think is gone.

[Jim Norton]

You're gonna get it for your birthday. I'm gonna get it framed.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, it is gone. I'm saying, like, my point. I'm just saying, Deb will just say a thing. You know what I mean?

[Jacob]

It felt real.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why don't you grab your arm and say it to you? I bring those.

[Jim Norton]

Jacob. You can't mess with Jacob today. Jacob's too happy. He's just letting it flow over him like water right now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think he's hearing me. Oh, they're clapping for him. Jacob, you're thinking there's a chance it might be over soon. You might get a chance to run out there. I can't believe you're missing the interview. I don't know if you heard some of the gripping questions, like, who talks the best smack here? How are you gonna find out who talks the best smack?

[Jim Norton]

He actually. I was videotaping him. Watch. And the first question, he nodded his head like he approved of the question.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, nice. He's reading lips for sure.

[Jim Norton]

He literally went like this. Katie asked the question and he went. That's a good one. That's what I would ask.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at everybody. They're getting up. Jacob. This is it, dude. They're not texting. They're not texting you?

[Jacob]

No, I'm getting a text. I know when. When to come out.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, I hope he forgets.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hope he forgets to text you in the worst way.

[Jacob]

My contact knows that I'm.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know his contact?

[Jim Norton]

You have a contact, Steve?

[Jacob]

Steve is my contact.

[Jim Norton]

I like Steve.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know Steve? We all know they don't let Black Lou talk to Steve. Oh, Steve, Steve.

[Jim Norton]

Steve's producing it. Steve. Steve.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Steve. Steve.

[Jim Norton]

Indoor Steve.

[Jacob]

Good guy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at everybody getting their talks in with them. Hey, what's it like?

[Jim Norton]

What is that thing? What is that? Who's that guy next to Katie right now?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, what's it like playing a sport nobody outside of South America respects?

[Jim Norton]

Does she have. Does she play with a broom? Is that legal? What the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, look, this girl's rapping at them. All right, y'.

[Jacob]

All.

[Bobby Kelly]

You the white bitch. Think you could score on me? Score on me. I hope they're getting called out. By other soccer players in the room you white don't know how to do.

[Jim Norton]

Is that. Is that Dan Soda in drag talking to Katie right now? I think Dan snuck in as a redheaded woman.

[Bobby Kelly]

It really looks like Soda in a wig. That is upsetting.

[Jacob]

You're not wrong.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, Katie says Dan. Excuse me. We have to get you out of

[Jacob]

here with the weapons. Makeup on. The white makeup.

[Jim Norton]

I like that girl right there with the black. With the. The black girl with the New York shirt upside down.

[Jacob]

Jaden Shaw.

[Bobby Kelly]

You just see the black girl.

[Jim Norton]

She's cute. Is that New York?

[Bobby Kelly]

What other black girl? Who you'd be talking about? The black girl, the New York shirt on. Which other one?

[Jim Norton]

There's no other black girls.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's no other black people in the vicinity of this building right now.

[Jim Norton]

There's the lead singer of the Cars taking photos.

[Bobby Kelly]

And look at that.

[Jim Norton]

All the.

[Bobby Kelly]

By the way. Look at all the white players walk over to Katie and talk and they leave the black girl out. It's classic class.

[Jim Norton]

No, the black girl made them come to that her.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, look at that.

[Jim Norton]

The black girl stood her. She just said it. Come over here.

[Bobby Kelly]

She don't give a damn. They don't respect her at all. Look at the other doing the photo ops. Jacob. They must have forgot to call you.

[Jim Norton]

She's cute.

[Jacob]

It's not about the photo. I mean, it's just.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're gonna get them out of here without you.

[Jacob]

No, I know that. It happened. I'm already getting texts. I know their whole schedule. They're taking pictures.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know their whole schedule. Damn.

[Jim Norton]

That girl's wearing pull away jeans.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, keep saying that, but yeah. Design, though.

[Jim Norton]

All the sides of buttons. Maybe go try.

[Jacob]

Steve told me that my picture will be. I'm. He's gonna call me exactly when.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, please.

[Jacob]

They're ready.

[Jim Norton]

I hope something happens and he forgets.

[Jacob]

You don't mean that.

[Jim Norton]

I. What if you don't? You. If they're gone and you patiently wait for Steve to call you and he doesn't. I want that to happen.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black Lou, if you don't follow them out there and say things behind them, like, Jacob, tell them about the posters in your bedroom. Just say things like that. Tell them about the chat. No, no. Just make it wick. It's weird with them. It goes. Tell them about all the jerseys you have all the girls for all the girls soccer jersey. Please just keep saying dude. Tell them about the snow globe collection of U.S. of USA soccer players you have.

[Jacob]

I can't follow them, Lou. No, I'm not gonna. I have a job to do.

[Jim Norton]

You do have a job to do, but you're supposed to. This photo is happening. They're all.

[Jacob]

No. Well, they're going. Leaving to take more pictures with the crowd. And then when the crowd wraps, I'm going right at the.

[Jim Norton]

Do you think they're gonna wait?

[Jacob]

I know they're gonna wait. Oh, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really, Please. They'll hold them for you.

[Jacob]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm getting a text.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, sorry. The girls had to go.

[Jim Norton]

What's the text?

[Jacob]

Jacob, they just rapped. I don't. He doesn't realize that we've done something we've never done before.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, so he lied to you? He lied to you. He didn't know we're watching. He says they just rapped now it's already alive. It's been over. We've been talking about it being over for 10 minutes.

[Jacob]

Well, they wrapped in the business. They left the studio.

[Jim Norton]

You talking business logo.

[Bobby Kelly]

But then it means they're not raps because now they have to do the meet and greet.

[Jim Norton]

They gotta do the photos. Should you go now? Are you gonna wait?

[Bobby Kelly]

Let him wait for a second because we gotta think of more things we need black blue to say in the background. Yeah. All right. Black. Lou, do you have the things we said so far? Jacob, tell them about the posters in your bedroom. Tell them about the posters, Jacob. Tell them about the.

[Jim Norton]

Just hey, tell me about the jerseys you got.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tell them how you. Tell him how you have all their. Do you wear all of their jerseys Blue?

[Jim Norton]

Tell them this. Say, hey, show them the painting you made.

[Bobby Kelly]

Tell them when you got arrested in the locker room of the local girls. Local high school girls soccer team. That's a good one. No, no, it's just write it down so you remember the words. Don't say any of it.

[Jim Norton]

Hey, Lou, ask them. Say, hey, give them the earrings. You made them.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. That's great. Show them the tattoos you have of their faces.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, tattoos are good. Fixing his hair.

[Jacob]

What I always do.

[Jim Norton]

Hi, Jacob. Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

You're constantly fixing.

[Jim Norton]

Are you going to be right back. How long going to be, Jacob?

[Jacob]

I mean, I think they're taking pictures now, so. I got it. It should be very.

[Jim Norton]

Wow. He's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at the producers taking pictures themselves in the chair was just so hilarious.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, are they?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Look at the big.

[Bobby Kelly]

What a bunch of dumbasses.

[Jim Norton]

Look at their dumpers are still engraved in the seats.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know, Jacob. Oh, dude. Jacob should go smell the seats. Let's let Jacob smell the seats. Don't do Katie's though. That's disrespectful to our friend.

[Jim Norton]

That's disrespectful.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the other girls, I don't care about their boyfriends.

[Jim Norton]

I think it smells like Dan farts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Her.

[Jim Norton]

Her pooper. They must have the same fart smell. They eat the same thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because you know what? I don't have a good argument against that. That might be sound logic. That might be good science, my man. You know, that might be good old fashioned science. Weird.

[Jim Norton]

You know, the people that produce our fish balls are never as hat. They're dancing. They're never happy.

[Bobby Kelly]

No one's happy at our fishbowls.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, we are.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're not happy. We're sitting on shitty chairs.

[Jim Norton]

We're a tax write off.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think they started just filling in with people at one point. Didn't they say last time we had the show, they just grabbed people?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And like, so people that were there, we found out. Right. We asked Mike, what are you guys here for? They go, they, we work here. And they made us to fill in seats.

[Jim Norton]

Was that true?

[Bobby Kelly]

I think so. I'm almost certain of that.

[Jim Norton]

Is that true?

[Bobby Kelly]

Last one?

[Jim Norton]

I. I don't know. But I know one of them had a DJ Lou shirt on. So some of them were real. And there was only like 15. 10.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right, right. No, I was saying, I think we did about 10 and they had to fill in five. There were some people that were just there for like a tour or something. It was something like that.

[Jim Norton]

There's somebody that works here, but that's usually like you have a no show. Barely released any tickets because you could only fit like 15 people in there. So, you know, five don't show up.

[Bobby Kelly]

30 year audience.

[Jim Norton]

Did Jacob just skip by the windows? Did he. Did he just run by the windows?

[Bobby Kelly]

Look, I hope so.

[Jim Norton]

He really likes women's soccer.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, with a. With a passion that only a not American man could do.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think you have to be a foreign lady to care about this.

[Jim Norton]

I know. He prefers women's soccer. Doesn't really care about men's.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, they're coming back in for a second.

[Bobby Kelly]

He prefers a WNBA too.

[Jim Norton]

That's Steve right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's Steve. It is, yeah, that's Steve. Steve Reno.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Steve's a good guy. Do some liners.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know Steve.

[Jim Norton]

You've met him.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have, Yep. I'm bad at this.

[Jim Norton]

No, you haven't seen him a lot. He's under the radar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. Why does Bobby know Steve so Well,

[Jim Norton]

I don't know because I've been.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I've been around for a long time. I gotta see his face. If I see his face, I know exactly who Steve is. I think he used to have hair, didn't he?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Yeah, we all did. That was it. He's been here a good 20 years.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did you allow those things, Lou? No. Did you? Yeah. Very embarrassed.

[Jim Norton]

What'd he do? Which one

[Jacob]

did you get? Did you give him the earrings thing?

[Bobby Kelly]

You got the best one. That was the best one.

[Jacob]

Bobby, I said was walking away. I went,

[Bobby Kelly]

hell, yeah.

[Jim Norton]

How'd it feel?

[Jacob]

It felt good.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Emily remembered me. She goes, I remember you from what?

[Jim Norton]

Stocking pages?

[Jacob]

From outside the fishbowl.

[Jim Norton]

Just non repeating. Dming her Instagram.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? You're talking about from before the show.

[Jacob]

Yeah. After we did the. Our pre tape, I walked past the fishbowl. Katie was out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right. But she said, I remember you, but there was just. She means from like 45 minutes ago.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

That's not remembering.

[Bobby Kelly]

They said it was sarcastic. It seems like.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

There wasn't any sarcasm.

[Jim Norton]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think she was remembering that she

[Jacob]

remembered you from 45 minutes ago? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's almost the thing.

[Jacob]

Well, we were introduced.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Go ahead. Take it from me, Jay.

[Jim Norton]

No, no, no, no.

[Jacob]

This is your moment to tear me down.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not tearing you down. Family. Listen to you. I know what happened out there. You out there, you felt secure in the arms of those large women, those athletes that made you feel safe, dainty and safe, the way you like to feel.

[Jim Norton]

You'd like to curl up on her lap like a shih tzu at night

[Bobby Kelly]

on your couch to have her rub your belly.

[Jim Norton]

Would you love to get some hot chocolate with hot chop?

[Bobby Kelly]

Hot chop with some marshmallows?

[Jim Norton]

You'd love to do that with her. You'd love to silly talk with one of them, wouldn't you?

[Jacob]

I would.

[Jim Norton]

You would.

[Jacob]

I'm not going to lie.

[Jim Norton]

What would you say?

[Jacob]

Would you want some hot chop?

[Bobby Kelly]

Now you say you feel this way about. And I believe what you said during the break was any one of them except the black.

[Jacob]

That's not true at all. Jaden's very cute.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is she your favorite of those four?

[Jacob]

It's a tough one, but it's a toss up between. I mean, you're asking me. I don't know which one would like, he's worried his mother, Jaden or Emily?

[Bobby Kelly]

His mother's not going to accept a black woman at Passover. She's not going to do it. She's not going to know how to react. At Passover.

[Jacob]

Jaden's sh taller than me, which is problematic.

[Jim Norton]

Aren't they all taller than you?

[Jacob]

Well, it's possible two. Two out of the four were.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there's a picture.

[Jacob]

Two out of the four were.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you have the picture, J. Lou?

[Jacob]

No, it was the professional photo. So it's going to take a week.

[Jim Norton]

They didn't allow.

[Jacob]

They didn't allow anyone to take a photo?

[Jim Norton]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really Very strict.

[Jim Norton]

You know what you start doing? Why you should do what Dave Portnoy does every photo he takes and it's documented. He stands on his tippy toes. You should start doing that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why are people that take pictures of me and Bobby with flip camera phones? I don't give a when we're taking pictures, dude.

[Jim Norton]

We're tax write off. We're.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's right.

[Jim Norton]

We're saving money.

[Jacob]

I think you're beloved here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they used to send us before you got here. Bob is in the old days. They used to send us like the list of people who were coming and then we right back, like. Yeah, the close one. Yes, that person. And then those things never happened.

[Jim Norton]

Now they just.

[Bobby Kelly]

So now they just don't send to us anymore.

[Jim Norton]

We're supposed to get.

[Jacob]

They love you around.

[Bobby Kelly]

It would get you hyped up, though. It was the thing. It's like everybody. You'd find a reason for everyone. It'd be like weird ones like David Cassidy. I mean, oh my God, I could talk to David Cassidy for an hour. Partridge Family and the duch and. And then. But it's like, you know now. Yeah, he's only going to come in for every other show. He's leaving right before you guys go on and he's getting there way before you're there.

[Jim Norton]

We have to hunt celebrities in the hallway like animals.

[Bobby Kelly]

We've got. I'd say we. There's a. There's a strong chance that we're 50. 50 on big guests. I'd say we're 50. 50 on. Pulled them directly out of the hallway to. Booked.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Conan.

[Bobby Kelly]

12 years.

[Jim Norton]

Conan. I asked Conan in the hallway.

[Jacob]

That's true.

[Jim Norton]

I went up to Conan. I was like, dude, come on. Our show.

[Jacob]

Barry Manilow begged for Barry. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lil Kim, whatchamacallit. TI Is gonna come on because Mayor John Mayer. John Mayer, Yeah. Several people.

[Jim Norton]

What's the ditzy one's name? Paris Hilton.

[Bobby Kelly]

Paris Hilton. We pulled in ourselves. It's crazy. Yeah. And who have we had booked? Look from somebody else because Marcus King was us, mark.

[Jim Norton]

Stephen Wilson Jr. Was us.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Jim Norton]

Gary Clark Jr. Was us.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gary Clark Jr. Us.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

And the funny part, we can't even get Stephen back on when he's in town.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, he found out that we were low on the totem pole here.

[Jim Norton]

Who told him that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Katie Nolan, I'd guess. No, he's going to be doing the casual sportsnet cast with. With that. They got us Billy Idol.

[Jim Norton]

Billy Idol was a good one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, friend Drescher, Fran Dresser. Years ago. They got us.

[Jim Norton]

We got Gavin Rossdale. We got what's his name who did the Bruce Springsteen. Hank is area. They got a sample.

[Jacob]

Is your neighbor.

[Jim Norton]

He's my. A lot of these people are my neighbors. Yeah. Who got us hanged? I did. You got hanged? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right.

[Jim Norton]

How'd you get hacked? It was the stand, actually.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it was something they were. They were helping to promote.

[Jacob]

Take that one off the list.

[Bobby Kelly]

So no, Hank is there. It's us, Edie Falco, Eddie Falco, Donnie Wahlberg. But again, all these also weren't like, hey, they want to come in. We're going to get them to come in and do your show. It's. Will you move everything around to come in when they're here?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Can you do the show at 9:48?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

On Friday?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Okay. And then they cancel. Oh, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I was going to say. And then also a lot of times they go, all right, these people are going to come. You find out that. I mean, it's happened a lot. There's been a lot because I know myself. I did what you did. Bobby, in this last one, which was Jamie Lee Curtis and Bobby Carnival, which got dialed back to just Bobby Carnival, which got bucked up, dialed back to Bobby Carnival, doesn't want to do it. But I've had a couple of like. I'm like, oh, no. By the way, I started to get less nervous when it'll be like, you're coming in early to do a thing tomorrow. I'm like, I stopped getting nervous. I go, I'd say it's 75% chance they're going to say it's canceled. And then it just would. It would camp. But a bunch of those.

[Jim Norton]

I had something that day that I didn't cancel.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, good.

[Jim Norton]

I was going to wait till the last minute to cancel it, and I didn't. And then I didn't have to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank God Bobby Cannavale does not give a shit. I like, it was like, it seemed like it Was like, it's Jamie Lee Curtis and Bobby Cannavale. And you go, I'd love to talk to Jamie Lee Curtis and Bobby Cannavale. You go, it's just Bobby Cannavale, idiot. You think you're gonna get Jamie Lee curse? And you go, it'd be great to talk to Bobby.

[Jim Norton]

I love Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

They go, he doesn't care.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, he's not coming in.

[Bobby Kelly]

He doesn't give a.

[Jim Norton]

Happy St. Patty's Day, Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, happy St. Patty's Day.

[Jim Norton]

It's my people's day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Top of the M. And to you.

[Jim Norton]

Happy St. Patty's Day to all of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was thinking about going and getting a corn beef to cook after the show, and then completely changed my mind.

[Jim Norton]

You should. It's my. One of my favorite meals of the year that Don cooks.

[Bobby Kelly]

You been Cornby tonight?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, she's. I'm not gonna be there, but, yeah, she's cooking it, so I'll have a plate waiting for me. Oh, yeah, corned beef. She's doing a new thing with the cabbage, though. I don't know what it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

What does that mean?

[Jim Norton]

She's doing a new thing where she's.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Jim Norton]

She's making like a. I don't know. She. I think she's doing. She said, I'm trying something new with the cabbage. I'm like, what can you do with cabbages? That. That's new.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sour crowd. It.

[Jim Norton]

Maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe she's sauerkraut in it.

[Jim Norton]

I love it. I love a corned beef and cabbage with the little potatoes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Jim Norton]

Butter, butter, butter, butter. I put butter on the cabbage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh.

[Jim Norton]

Ew. It's so good, that. Salt and pepper it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Son of a bitch.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I might just get a corned beef sandwich from a.

[Jim Norton]

That's so funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Diner.

[Jim Norton]

You can't do that. Just make it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not very festive. I'd say. Patty's Day, particularly.

[Jim Norton]

You make a great. You're a great cook.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jim Norton]

There you are. Dude. That fucking stromboli is great. Your meatballs are great.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's my mom's recipe, though.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, but it's your recipe now.

[Bobby Kelly]

She did die.

[Jim Norton]

Shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry.

[Jim Norton]

I didn't mean it like that, but

[Bobby Kelly]

I do take it with you.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, sure. It's yours to pass on to your daughter, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

She's got it. Yeah, she knows it. I think I've said it pretty out loud on the air before. I think it's pretty simple. Pretty simple recipe. Two things and meatballs.

[Jim Norton]

Dawn keeps sending me fucking stupid pictures

[Bobby Kelly]

of little potatoes and Cabbage.

[Jim Norton]

No, she keeps sending me like self help things.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's worried about you, dude.

[Jim Norton]

But what I'm. I'm more healthy than her.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Jim Norton]

I am. I work out four days a week.

[Bobby Kelly]

People are therapy.

[Jim Norton]

I go to meetings.

[Bobby Kelly]

People are going to hear on Thursday that even Byron Allen's happy you're still in therapy. Byron Allen himself is thrilled that you're still in therapy.

[Jim Norton]

Let me tell you something, bro. That was a nice hot one I took today. That was a real good. And here's the thing with that one that just came out of nowhere. Yeah, we were, we were over here and then we went right there and then all of a sudden the show's over and I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

We were borderline getting ready to talk about David Vox Mullen again.

[Jim Norton]

We were borderline, but we didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, we got distracted. I forget how is that. We started talking about bombs. We like to show our bombs now. What is funny is we were calling it like we said, well, we don't want to show videos of us doing videos of you doing well with shit material is worthless. It's terrible because you could pick it apart as comics, but other people don't give a shit that much about it. You picking apart somebody actually bombing is really funny because then there's like a. There's a psychology attached to that. That's very interesting.

[Jim Norton]

Something very interesting to that. So more interesting to comedians, I think

[Bobby Kelly]

than I said what I'm trying. It would be Canadian tv. We got to find some Canadian TV of me just really not doing well because that's there. That exists in the world. But. But anytime I've been doing like the shittiest, hackiest stuff on tv, I wouldn't say kill it.

[Jim Norton]

I would not say marshmallows hot choppoles is hacky.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't say anything about you at all. I didn't say anything about you.

[Jim Norton]

I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

You took that upon yourself very.

[Jim Norton]

It was at the time probably mixing. Mixing vulnerability and physical comedy the way I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're a pioneer. Of sorts.

[Jim Norton]

Of sorts. See now there was comics that are physical like Dane. But it wasn't edgy. It wasn't vulnerable. I was vulnerable. I called myself a queer. I told everybody every guy's gay, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wait. You know, I just noticed by looking at our paper.

[Jim Norton]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

That our next two bookings of guests, TJ Miller and Bruce Bruce are both rescheduled from not showing up last time.

[Jim Norton]

You think, you think TJ's showing up tomorrow?

[Bobby Kelly]

We've only had two guests booked that haven't showed up. This is a cycle of two months of Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and T.J. miller might be coming in.

[Jim Norton]

We could ask Mike Feeney.

[Bobby Kelly]

We could have Mike Feeney on.

[Jim Norton]

We got a Feeney.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Let's just start booking guests every day and start booking just our very, very local friends.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, we just. Yeah, no more famous people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, guys, outside. Steve from the Cellar, the guy who takes tickets is gonna be third mic today.

[Jim Norton]

Hey, Liz, you around on Wednesday?

[Bobby Kelly]

We're just looking to shoot the shit with somebody is all. You see, we already know everything about each other. We have to learn about other people, but they won't give us people.

[Jim Norton]

And we do good interviews, by the way. Our interviews are not only insightful, hilarious. We do not. Some people give interviews and it's just an interview.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Jim Norton]

We take risks and make it funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. Right. Remember I asked Gavin Rossdale what it was like, how crazy it was fucking Courtney Love, and then he didn't answer. Remember that? That's right. I did that.

[Jim Norton]

Remember I thought the Punisher was the Punisher from Marvel, not the Punisher that fucked Diddy's girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. I think you didn't realize it wasn't that Punisher until he started blowing his dick up with his ball bag.

[Jim Norton]

I think so, yeah. I think that's when it really hit me.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think you're like, oh, this isn't that Punisher.

[Jim Norton]

Well, I'm the one who actually got him to pull it out and do it. He wasn't gonna do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's true.

[Jim Norton]

I think you said, no, don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did say that. No, I didn't tell him not to do it. I was saying, no, don't to you.

[Jim Norton]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because Black Lou black me up on this. You come in a black guy involved in a world, he's coming from a hip hop story. Now, it's the world of male dance, which is. Definitely has some gay undertones to it. But the. The idea of him thinking that would go swimmingly to ask this guy to show his dick. I feel like, listen, if we had. And I'm going to go through a list of names here. Mr. Marcus Lexington Steele, Blackzilla, Jake Steed, all these kings of humongous black pornography. If they were sitting right here, I want to go, can I see it? I don't want to see it soft and then make it hard for me.

[Jim Norton]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to see all those things. But they're not going to accept that, because in their world, in their skewed idea, that's gay. Behavior.

[Jim Norton]

You. You'd have to ask him. Can I see your hobbach Hob.

[Bobby Kelly]

Chocolop. Dude, I love you so much. I want that hot chocolopolis.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, dude. Yeah, we. We really do go for it. We. We remember the time you asked the guy about it.

[Jacob]

Who.

[Jim Norton]

What was the where he asked him and he was like, we're not going to talk about. About that. Jay asked about his girlfriend or something. Who was that guy? You know what these days feel like? Everything costs more. Groceries, gas, bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt the pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I'm always going over the budgets and what I can buy and my wife you don't need it. We can't get it. It's a real tough thing to actually take care of what you're spending, have a savings. It's just rough out there for everyone. So when the tax refund hits and you're thinking, what's the best way to keep more in your pocket without giving something up? What? Well, here's the real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation fees and get one line of 5G for only 25 bucks. Yep, only 25 bucks and no contracts that get in the way. The best thing, you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands, but that's exactly the point. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. Visit your local store on metrobytmobile.com and and switch today. $30 first month, $25 after with autopay. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Favorite person in my life. My grandmother Nana, as I called it, was always there for me and she worked so hard. She had 13 of us in a house at one point and took care of every single one of us. Women deserve to be celebrated, but we should also recognize that many women carry emotional weight at work, in relationships and families, and in the roles they play for others. Whatever you're navigating career expectations par caregiving or More therapy with BetterHelp can help you check in with yourself, unpack what's feeling heavy and build healthier pathways forward. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform and handles the initial therapist matching for you. Just take a short questionnaire to share your needs and preferences. And thanks to BetterHelp's industry leading match fulfillment rate, they usually get your match right the first time. You can also feel comfortable knowing betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bonfire that's betterhelp.com Bonfire a thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. That's where Quince shines. Premium fabrics considered design and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as the seasons change. Quince has the everyday essential you'll love with quality that lasts. Lightweight cashmere sweaters, short sleeve Mongolian cashmere polos, linen bottoms and shorts. These are all the versatile pieces that makes a wardrobe actually work season to season. I love it. I just got an awesome jacket. It's casual but dressy. I can wear it to the clubs on stage. I can wear it out to dinner with my wife if we go somewhere fancy. And you know what? It's wintertime, springtime, summertime. I love quints. I love the sweaters. The cashmere sweater I got is so soft right now. Go to quinte.combonfire for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to qu u I n c e.com bonfire for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com bonfire why do most people want to learn a new language? It's probably not about memorizing grammar tables or topping a leaderboard. It's because we want to speak it out loud in the real world with real people. Babel gets you there fast. Learning a language with Babel is all about small steps and big wins and progress. You can actually track and feel. Their bite sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to start seeing real results. I use it. I have it on my phone anytime I have a free moment when I'm flying or I'm in an airport. I'm just hanging out waiting for something to go on. I'll throw on my babble and it has helped me so much just to say hello and hi and have conversations with people. I'm going back to Cuba with my son. I'm going back to Costa Rica. It made it so much easier that I was using Babel every day so I could get things done and feel more comfortable speaking the language of Spanish. Here is a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babel subscription at babel.com bonfire get up to 60% off at babbel.com bonfire spell B A B B, E L.com forward slash bonfire rules and restrictions may apply. Singer.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's Gavin.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said, I met Courtney Love. Courtney Love. And he was like, no, no, he said something. Now he. So he was like. He's like, courtney loves, great. I. I love her and she's great. He wouldn't kind of answer the question, but he, he called me Howard Stern after that.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. We had Edie Falco come in and I talked to her like we were best friends. That was uncomfortable.

[Jacob]

Great.

[Jim Norton]

That was great.

[Jacob]

Yeah, she had a blast. And I've said this to everyone outside this room. I said, these guys, all the, all the guests that come in, I guarantee they have a better time with Bobby and Jay than every other interview.

[Jim Norton]

They did say Stephen Wilson Jr. Had a better time with you guys than he did Howard Stern.

[Bobby Kelly]

He just doesn't realize. He, or he just realizes that it's better to do Howard Stern and not talk to us ever again.

[Jim Norton]

That's right. Was he laughing?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no. No laughter at all.

[Jim Norton]

Go get that soccer team in here.

[Jacob]

I'm sure they left.

[Jim Norton]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

How fast you think they are? Get them.

[Jim Norton]

Go get him, Jacob. Get him in here.

[Jacob]

I think they left.

[Jim Norton]

You don't want. You don't want it. You're ashamed of Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't give a fuck you. If, if they're professional, the highest level gold medal winning athletes, you're a man. Outrun them.

[Jacob]

They're out of the building.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're simply a man. You can catch them. They're also. Okay, well, if they're outside and in a car, they're girl drivers. You could still be able to catch them on foot.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, grab her by her hair and drag her back in here.

[Bobby Kelly]

As an average athletic male, you should be able to catch a woman driving in a car from four blocks away and a 36 block floor elevator ride.

[Jim Norton]

Why didn't it occur to you to see. Do you guys want to come in on this show?

[Jacob]

I didn't even know they were in today. I just saw them on the board and then. I don't know. I didn't think it was right.

[Jim Norton]

Why didn't you think it was right to come in here? You're ashamed of us.

[Jacob]

Did that, did that come out exactly the way I said?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is the show? What is this show? What are we made up of? What are we. He goes, no, no, that's. I don't want you guys interview them. I don't want that.

[Jacob]

You didn't want it? You didn't know they were in.

[Jim Norton]

It doesn't matter.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I never know who's here until the three names I see as I walk through the front door. On the list. They never tell me anyone.

[Jacob]

If you would have told me try to get them in. I would have.

[Jim Norton]

But why? As the producer of the show. Yeah. And the person who loves them, who's on the show live right now, who

[Bobby Kelly]

knows that our only guests are friends who don't show up.

[Jim Norton]

Yes.

[Jacob]

Yeah. But I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mike Fenoya canceled last time we had him coming. He's a friend of the show.

[Jim Norton]

We're done.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we are done. We just don't know.

[Jim Norton]

You didn't think to ask them? That wouldn't even cross your brain. That would have been good for you. They would have been sitting all around you.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

What?

[Jacob]

No, I can't do that.

[Jim Norton]

Why?

[Jacob]

It's not. It's not. I mean, she's doing Katie show. That's enough.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, so only one show?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Why?

[Jacob]

They only came in for. For Katie show. You don't want to interview them.

[Jim Norton]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Jim Norton]

He's trying to protect them from you guys. Why though? You just said that. We know we give the best interviews. You just said it. It was out of your mouth. It is true. So why would you be afraid of us doing a great interview with the gals?

[Jacob]

First of all, they would never have come in. You can't just get a national team player to walk in there. That has to be approved.

[Bobby Kelly]

We got Cindy Lauper and Lil Kim to do it.

[Jim Norton]

We got fucking Barry Manilow. The greatest of all time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you think Lil Kim isn't more famous than the girls soccer team?

[Jacob]

Yeah, but there's way more restrictions on the national team. They have. They have to be cleared to go on anything.

[Jim Norton]

What about that?

[Bobby Kelly]

But they weren't the national team that were here. They were here as a football club.

[Jacob]

They were. Those are that Gotham fc. But. Same thing. But those are the national.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stutters speak volumes, Jacob. You're embarrassed of the show. That's why we never have guests. Ever. Once in a while. Once in a while, DJ Lou intercepts to come guest list and he shoots it over to us like it's a secret. Like he's sending us. They call them kites in prison where they roll a piece of paper. He sends it over. He goes. He goes. There is. If you guys want to come in early. We can probably get you these guys?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. This Kite wouldn't go get the soccer team.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kite.

[Jim Norton]

Kite. He really does sneak him in like it's the blacklist and we're commies.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. He doesn't want everyone. He's like. He's like, if you guys want to come in early, there's a chance we

[Jim Norton]

can get so and so is there any way you can come in at 11, maybe 8? Maybe not. Maybe 12 on Thursday or Wednesday? I don't want to get your hopes up. You did.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're not mad at you for this.

[Jim Norton]

Not mad at you, brother. I'm just telling you the process. Yeah. You said Bobby Carnival. You said done. It's done. She said it was done.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

And then he. Then she said, I'm what? Then she said, I'm sorry, he can't make that work. He's coming in the next day. But I didn't know he was coming in the next day until after the fact. Or I would have said Bobby. I would have made anything work. I know. For this show.

[Jacob]

It was even another.

[Jim Norton]

Did you hear that, Jacob?

[Jacob]

It was.

[Jim Norton]

I would have made anything work for this show.

[Jacob]

Right. Me too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anything.

[Jim Norton]

Anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

I would have came in at 8, 5 4, Friday, Thursday to have Bob Bobby Kavale on this show. I would have done anything. Anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know, Bobby wants to break bread with Bobby Canavale.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Dude. We're one degree away. Chubby redhead away from each other.

[Bobby Kelly]

One degree of chubby redhead.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, dude. I love theater.

[Jacob]

They wouldn't have been allowed in, so I didn't think it was.

[Jim Norton]

Who

[Jacob]

know the National. The Gotham FC couldn't have come in.

[Jim Norton]

What about that Big Bird one?

[Jacob]

I don't know where.

[Jim Norton]

Get her in. We could talk to her for hours. Why? Why would you go with that color hair?

[Jacob]

I will. I will check on her. I would be. I would love to interview her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who was she?

[Jacob]

I have no idea. Somebody in the audience really focused on

[Bobby Kelly]

with the big red hair. Dan Soder.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

You saw her?

[Jacob]

I was looking on the monitor. What you were looking at, was it a guy? It just. I was on the fence when you were out there. Oh, no, no. I just only saw her on the monitor.

[Jim Norton]

She can't be on the fence because of her balls.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Can she be on the fence?

[Jim Norton]

She can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

My question is, can she be on the fence? Only a female. Only a male to female can sit on the fence.

[Jim Norton]

Unbelievable.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not the other way. What, do you feel bummed out too? Jacob's embarrassed of the show.

[Jim Norton]

Well, it just. He pumped us up for A second like you guys give. I tell everybody outside this room, and

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I'm quoting, it was a crazy flip flop.

[Jim Norton]

I tell everybody outside this room that you guys give the best interviews and people. I guarantee the people that you interview had the best time being with you guys. And I was like, wow, that's great. Go get that team. He's like, no, no. He said it's not a good fit. What, though?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like Edie Falco?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, Edie Falco's a good fit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, the wonderful Edie Falco.

[Jacob]

They worked with her.

[Jim Norton]

Barry Manilow's a good fit for us, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Barry Manilow does fall into the wheelhouse of people people always thought I would interview. Yeah, Barry Manilow. Good God. Yeah. Those people are at a wheelhouse after my.

[Jim Norton]

Byron Allen said, it does fit into my wheelhouse.

[Bobby Kelly]

It does fit in your wheelhouse so much.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, you know, I would love to do marshmallows and hop Chop a lopolos with Barry. Damn, dude. You don't think he'd love it if I was on his big, huge Vegas couch, just in my tighty whities and high heels. Click, click, click, click.

[Bobby Kelly]

Were you worried that if we brought them in and me and Bobby kept droning on that you would have fallen asleep between them and they would have seen your sleepy face? I guess that is something to be concerned about.

[Jim Norton]

Also, were you worried that you'd get too cold and have to put a blanket on your lap and feel silly in front of the girls soccer team? Is that why?

[Jacob]

I would never have used a blanket.

[Jim Norton]

You wouldn't have.

[Jacob]

No.

[Jim Norton]

Even if you were freezing, cold wouldn't have happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would have pinned that AC and watch him stare at your oversized nipples.

[Jacob]

Do whatever. No, they shrink in the cold. They look awesome in the cold.

[Bobby Kelly]

Then I would have been doing you a favor, I guess.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. You have big nipples. Does he have big nipples?

[Bobby Kelly]

He thinks he puffy nips.

[Jim Norton]

You have puffy nips?

[Jacob]

I sure do.

[Jim Norton]

Can I see one?

[Jacob]

I mean,

[Jim Norton]

you do this, but you

[Bobby Kelly]

won't take a picture of this. I'll do it and post.

[Jacob]

No, you can't take a picture and

[Bobby Kelly]

post it to the girls soccer team.

[Jacob]

Let me see it shrunk.

[Jim Norton]

Let me see.

[Jacob]

Let me.

[Jim Norton]

Let me judge it.

[Jacob]

You can't see it.

[Jim Norton]

Come on, fam, let me see it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're supposed to pull your shirt up. What are you doing? You're stretching the shit out of your neck of your shirt. No, that's crazy.

[Jacob]

I'm not pulling my shirt up.

[Jim Norton]

You have the same Nipples as my sister.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, your sister has great nips. Yeah, I subscribe to OnlyFans. Don't think it's shitty what I'm saying.

[Jim Norton]

I don't. I do too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everyone can say.

[Jim Norton]

I actually set it up for her.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Jim Norton]

She needed to make more money after a kidney disease.

[Bobby Kelly]

My kidney disease fucked me because financially.

[Jim Norton]

So yeah, she shows her stint and her scars.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gonna show a little gash. A little gash for ca. No big whoop, man.

[Jim Norton]

Well, what are you going to do, bro?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'll tell you what we're going to do. Tomorrow, possibly we'll be talking to T.J. miller.

[Jim Norton]

What's the odds?

[Bobby Kelly]

50. 50? You think he's coming in coin flip. I would say no. I say no too, but Christine will probably because of that. We're saying that like follow up to

[Jim Norton]

first to be like, don't do that, Christine. Just let God's will happen. Don't follow it up, just let it happen. You don't want me to confirm tomorrow? Tomorrow you do what you do, but don't go extra go. The guys really think you're not going to show up today. Can you please show. Don't do that.

[Jacob]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, just. Yeah, run of the mill.

[Jim Norton]

You want to take some action in the room.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you confirm everybody day of? Generally I touch base, but like just our friends wise. Yeah, but this booking is technically 800 pound gorilla, right?

[Jacob]

No, it's with TJ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never mind. Never fucking.

[Jim Norton]

Well, he's got an album coming out with them or a special.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I would say it's about 9010. Our bookings to SiriusXM bookings. Yeah, it feels like off the top of my head.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Because we're good. We're good at getting people.

[Jacob]

Yeah, but we are.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Word must be spreading around how good we are with people and how much they enjoy our interviews. It must be spreading through the department meetings how good we are at this. That would explain the. Oh my God. Countless pages of ad reads.

[Jim Norton]

Look at all these pages.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that. How many. Oh, wait though, that's just our thing. This is a T shirt a homeless guy gave me.

[Jim Norton]

I think a Zen.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a zin.

[Jim Norton]

I got something. Oh, that's a napkin. I wipe my.

[Bobby Kelly]

This might be a read over here, actually. Let me see. No, it's my lighter.

[Jim Norton]

What's this? Oh, I got one of. Nope, that's just a battery.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do have a box of tissues that I think is complimentary.

[Jim Norton]

We have to pay. It comes out of.

[Bobby Kelly]

And we have a webcam that Shoots right up at the wall.

[Jacob]

Your names definitely come up in the big meetings.

[Jim Norton]

What do you mean? What do you mean?

[Jacob]

Everyone likes your show. The upper management loves your show.

[Jim Norton]

What do they say about it? Give us something they'll quote like, they'll

[Jacob]

bring up a topic.

[Jim Norton]

Okay.

[Jacob]

That you were. I heard some. I heard Bobby said this. I can't remember the specific.

[Bobby Kelly]

The topic that. Hey, can we have guests. Can we have people that people want to hear on the show?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Celebrities who come up to Sirius xm.

[Jim Norton]

Bobby Cannavale lives in the city.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we have our producers want to take pictures with our guests instead of the guests that are currently working on another show?

[Jim Norton]

Can we make it so our producers don't have to leave the show to go take pictures with people we can't get on this show?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, well, yeah, they're gonna come in. They're gonna come in and be like, ah, dude, we had Rob Reiner for you, like, last week. But, you know, fate. Fate intervened, I guess. No Rob Reiner now, Damn, you guys are gonna have your biggest interview with

[Jim Norton]

Rob Reiner and his son.

[Bobby Kelly]

And his son.

[Jim Norton]

So that's not gonna happen either.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good Lord. Yeah. 90 10. Is that the amending our show, the Taps?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, that's a Rob Reiner. Oh, what about a son? Do you got anything for a son?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, son's still alive. For now.

[Jim Norton]

For now.

[Bobby Kelly]

For now.

[Jim Norton]

I got. I got Jacob. I got Jacob into watching my new favorite show, which you're gonna hate.

[Jacob]

Well, this is so not you. Oh, my God.

[Jim Norton]

I was watching it going, Jay, like, I'm. I'm in my brain. I'm like, I love this show. This is one of my.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I guess what it is.

[Jim Norton]

You know exactly what it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it like the special Ops, like the people go in and do. No, it's like celebrities doing, like.

[Jim Norton]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Special Ops. No, it's a scripted show.

[Jim Norton]

It's a scripted show.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. I don't know.

[Jim Norton]

It's Taylor Sheridan's new show, Madison, with Michelle Pfeiffer and Kurt Russell.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's it about?

[Jim Norton]

That's why you'd hate it. It's not really about. It's about a spoiler alert.

[Jacob]

Family, emotions.

[Jim Norton]

It's about family and emotions and love and Cowboy. Not cowboy. It's actually a rich family from the city has something tragic happens and winds up in Montana to bury somebody.

[Jacob]

I didn't see that coming. Bobby.

[Jim Norton]

It was crazy, right, man? It killed you, right?

[Jacob]

Yeah. Yes, it was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, just kill him because he didn't know until you Just said it now, I think.

[Jim Norton]

No, he knew it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You already knew?

[Jacob]

Yeah, I just. I watched the first episode.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. In the second one, it gets even. I mean, I was crying in the second episode.

[Bobby Kelly]

My Christ.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. That's why you'd hate. It has emotion.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Jim Norton]

You'd have to actually connect to, like, feelings.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. You don't like that?

[Bobby Kelly]

No. I build it up alone. Let it explode when I'm by myself.

[Jacob]

Dear God, Jay, avoid the show at all costs.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Don't.

[Jacob]

Not you.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. I mean, I would almost. I would like you to watch the show just so you could tell us what's wrong with it. You know what I mean? Like, this is one of those shows you'd be like, this is. That's stupid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it like, this is us, where it's just. It's like crybait and.

[Jim Norton]

It's not crybait.

[Jacob]

You'll find it boring, too.

[Jim Norton]

No, I don't think it's crybait. I think Taylor Sheridan, he has two shows out now. One is Marshalls with Casey. Casey. Procedural. He was. You can tell he wasn't involved in. It was like any other procedural. It's not as good as Yellowstone or his. This other one, Madison, you can tell he had his fingerprints all over it because the writing. Everything. Every shot, every. The music, the dialogue is so good and real and. And, you know, Michelle Pfeiffer is epic in it. So good. Kurt Russell's the. There's always. They always have a hot chick that you wind up hating because she's stupid. He always has that smoking hot blonde. You get to see her butt. They show girl ass in it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Jim Norton]

Which is kind of cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

They had nudity. Nudity in Yellowstone at first.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, they have. They had nudity in this a little bit. Not. Not like as much as Yellowstone with Beth, but.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, there's nothing like nobody wants to see and then cry.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. No, but it's. It's a real. I mean, it's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you cry by yourself and watch the show? Do you cry with Dawn?

[Jim Norton]

I cry with Dawn. Try not to cry in front of Max.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you don't see your feelings. Why can't a man cry at a TV show with Kurt Russell and Michelle Pfeiffer?

[Jim Norton]

Because Max gets mad at me and covers my eyes and go, dad, you can't watch this. You're embarrassing me.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. He's more like you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I cried at plenty movies.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, I know, but this one. This one is. It's not like Rudy, where a guy can cry.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not the kind of crying that I do.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, that you don't cry, Rudy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe. Why? No, definitely. I don't know if I ever did, but definitely not anymore. And you see, it's like the story's sort of horseshit.

[Jim Norton]

God damn it, Rocky, you don't cry.

[Bobby Kelly]

It didn't happen.

[Jim Norton]

Cry. Rocky must have cried it. Rocky, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. I want to tell you something. What are you doing? No, that's not a cry.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a cry. Yeah, dude, cry makes me want to punch a door jam.

[Jim Norton]

It makes me both.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it doesn't make me feel. If I'm gonna cry at Rocky, it's gonna be the chaos. It's her trying to get through the audience and him and him ignoring, like, them trying to talk to him after the fight.

[Jim Norton]

That. That scene used to make me cry, but now that I know her hat was attached to a string, I can't watch it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, When I found it when Adrian's running to the to see he's a Gabriel. And she runs trying to get through the Rocky and her hat comes off. It's attached to a string.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it gets pulled off.

[Jim Norton]

Gets pulled off. No, but there's a string on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I'm saying. It's pulled off by a string.

[Jim Norton]

It gets pulled off by a string. That's how it came off. And it. Now every time I watch it, I'm like, there's a string. It fucks me up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that'll make me never cry at it again either. Yeah, no problem.

[Jim Norton]

They actually in Madison, Kurt Russell writes something down and it's, you know, talking about men crying at only Rudy.

[Bobby Kelly]

And here he goes. Gonna cry. And here he goes, everybody, let's watch Bobby unravel.

[Jim Norton]

It's. Yeah, it's a very touching movie, man. It's about losing. Losing somebody a love of your life, which sucks. It's a movie. No, it's a TV show. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Like. And he's. They're so good together. She's smoking still, bro. The daughter they got to play. Her daughter looks older than her, right? The older daughter.

[Jacob]

The oldest.

[Jim Norton]

The oldest daughter.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

She's like. Looks older than Michelle Pfeiffer. I mean, Michelle's just got it. She still looks good.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now what?

[Jim Norton]

I mean, now you just say nah. To say nah. Michelle Pfeiffer, she's still pretty, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's fine.

[Jim Norton]

What do you mean fine? She's prettier than most 50 year olds. No, she's 65. Is that what it is 65 or 68.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, dude, I bet her looks nasty.

[Jim Norton]

No, dude, she's had the best people on her for. She's been rich for 30 years. She's had no people, buddy. All them have people.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think so?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah. Rich people have people.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I think these go. You don't think Christine's house and, like, lemon juice, their snatches.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, they have people, man. I have a very strong purse. Yeah. Ever since you started making money, Christine's gotten so much better.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

Dude, this movie, this TV show is awesome. So good. It just gets you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it's unexpected, it says.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's an unexpected new series.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, it's like Dan Vox Mullen special. It's unexpected.

[Bobby Kelly]

David Vox.

[Jim Norton]

David. Sorry. Oh, God. Right there. That was terrible.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? She cries in a lake. No cry.

[Jim Norton]

It's a river. It's not a lake.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, river crying gets you every time.

[Jim Norton]

River crying does get me. You can. The horse. The horse scene. Have you seen that part yet?

[Jacob]

I haven't seen it.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, dude, that. That scene right there, it's. It's about a family. Rich, rich family from New York. Like, all the money in the world. And then this thing happens.

[Bobby Kelly]

What happens?

[Jim Norton]

I want to ruin it for people.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is the first episode at three.

[Jim Norton]

They dropped three.

[Bobby Kelly]

And the third ones where the tragedy happens.

[Jacob]

No, the first one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Jim Norton]

So what do you mean that's what you're saying? That's not what you said. You said the third one is where the tragedy happens.

[Bobby Kelly]

I asked you if the third one. You said you dropped three. I said, don't they tell you in the first thing what happens, what the tragedy is? And you said, no, they dropped three. That was your answer to my question.

[Jim Norton]

And that's why you're the science. You always have an answer.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I'm saying in the first episode,

[Jim Norton]

they tell you in the first episode, it happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

So is it a spoiler alert or is it the very end of the

[Jim Norton]

episode now it's kind of in the middle or. Yeah, it's. It's up there in the front. It's not. It's not the end. It's not like a climax thing. But it's, you know, hey, look where

[Bobby Kelly]

that horse's dick is going to come out. See a little hook right there.

[Jim Norton]

That's why you can't watch. You will not enjoy this. You won't enjoy the show because you'll be looking.

[Bobby Kelly]

So the horse sticks.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, you'll be looking at horse stick.

[Bobby Kelly]

I watched Yellowstone. There's no horse sticks.

[Jim Norton]

A lot of horse sticks in Yellowstone.

[Bobby Kelly]

Never saw one horse stick in Yellowstone.

[Jim Norton]

Horses. Other horses.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Jim Norton]

That's. Oh, they just showed the.

[Bobby Kelly]

The other young daughter before she dies.

[Jim Norton]

No, she doesn't die. I'm not telling you who dies. I'm not gonna ruin it.

[Bobby Kelly]

The daughter?

[Jim Norton]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Someone's daughter.

[Jim Norton]

Someone dies, but it's not. I'm not telling you who. Who. Shay Google. Who dies.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shar LaBeouf.

[Jacob]

I would say give him another week and then you can spoil.

[Bobby Kelly]

Damn.

[Jim Norton]

It's a good show, man. It got me. I watched all three episodes.

[Bobby Kelly]

You had to purge.

[Jim Norton]

And I got to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Purge yourself of tears and emotion.

[Jim Norton]

I. I swear to God, I. I thought. Because I love. I like all his shows. I love Landman, I love Lioness, but they all have action and guns and drama. And I. I knew the show doesn't have any guns. No. No action. There's none of that in it. It was just a story about family. And I was like, I'm gonna hate this and it's gonna suck.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you started crying, which is the action for me. That is the action. That's what I'm playing for.

[Jim Norton]

That's your action.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm watching to see if you'll cry.

[Jim Norton]

You might like it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I will like it. We'll never know.

[Jim Norton]

You might. You don't know. You should. You should try watching it this weekend and then tell us what you think about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just alone in a hotel room.

[Jim Norton]

Alone in a hotel room. Watch.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's when I would do my crying.

[Jim Norton]

First episode. Oh, it'd be great if you called me up. Bob, you got a minute? And I just hung up on you.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I kill myself this weekend, though, don't think that was just you and this show. It was a lot of things.

[Jim Norton]

A lot of things. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jim Norton]

There's no way you're killing yourself at comedy at State if you're going to kill yourself. It was last weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a good place to do it.

[Jim Norton]

Comedy on State. Yeah, it's a terrible place to do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's like a well known club, so people look forward to that club and they'll always. Oh, and also.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, there'll be a plaque of you in that awesome green room.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a memorial thing. I like that when you go to a place, there's a memorial something at the. At the Nashville, the Zanies and the Sidewall, where it's like Nate and everybody like that. They always. I forget the guy's name. I feel like I asked now, but there's. They always have, like, a microphone stand with a cowboy hat hanging off, and I forget his name. But for somebody who died out there.

[Jim Norton]

Well, every improv has a pretty much memorial on their wall of all the comics that have never worked there but are all dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Richard Pryor, George Carlin.

[Jim Norton]

Yeah, it's all. All. Every improv has dead comedians on their wall.

[Bobby Kelly]

I won't have a dead comedian wall. Then someone. One person on who's alive. It's like all those. And then Judy Tenuta. Judy Tenuta died. Like, no.

[Jim Norton]

Is Paula Poundstone dead? No, she's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just like, we didn't have anywhere else to put the picture. Oh, all right. Oh, Bobby Kelly.

[Jim Norton]

Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want to have some pizza and laughs with Bobby Kelly? Then hit the Verve in Somerville. This weekend, New Jersey. Thursday. Not this weekend. This week It's Thursday, March 19th, at Comics Roadhouse in Connecticut. April 17th and 18th. Is that when it is? April 17th and 18th. Next month, April 17th and 18th, he's going to be at Comics Roadhouse at Mohegan Sun. After that, Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey, Cleveland, Ohio and New Orleans. For tickets and all their tour dates, visit Punchup Live Robert Kelly and check out his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. And every seven, every Tuesday night, 7pm Fat Black Pussycat, the comedy seller and that.

[Jim Norton]

But next, guys, next Monday, me and Jay are going down to new jokes at the Pussycat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, we gotta tell people to

[Jim Norton]

give us suggestions Monday night. This is the thing. Me and Jay went down last night to just hang at the Cellar. Pretty fun time. Soda was there. We had a good time. But they have new jokes at the Pussycat, Will, so Vince runs. Me and Jay signed up for it. So next week we're doing no joke night where you have to come in. Do you have to do new jokes? So we're thinking that the fans you call up and give us the jokes you want us to do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not the jokes, but like premise tell us. Right. We want us. Right. A joke about Emmy and Bobby will pick for each other. 3.

[Jim Norton]

3.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll write three new jokes this weekend.

[Jim Norton]

This weekend. Nah. 8 6, 6, 9, 6, 9. 1969. We need three jokes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna put pen to paper for

[Jim Norton]

Jay and three jokes this weekend and next Tuesday. Next Monday, you can come see us at the Pussycat do those jokes now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I? I can't work it out on stage.

[Jim Norton]

Yes, you can.

[Bobby Kelly]

This weekend. Yeah, I can. Yeah, because you're not doing spots this week.

[Jim Norton]

I'm doing Saturday night. I'm doing the Cellar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you are?

[Jim Norton]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, you're doing the Verve. So you might get. Maybe it'll pump one out the old pizza show.

[Jim Norton]

Pop one out of the Verve, the old French restaurant.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. 866-969-1969. Call us when we come back.

[Jim Norton]

Big J's gonna be at the Comedy Estate this weekend, 19th through the 21st. After that, Phoenix, Tempe, St. Louis, bigj comedy.com for all his tickets and info. What's up?

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a second.

[Jim Norton]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Lou, we're past six o' clock on the show now. Is that going to cause a problem with the advertisers for the live reads we have to do?

[Jim Norton]

Nope. Ad free.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, we have no ads.

[Jim Norton]

Oh, is that. Oh, that's a new radio. Right. Ad Free radio. We're giving it away to the people.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice. We just don't even take a commercial. Let's just go. Can we just roll for the next 45? How about if we just keep going for another half hour and leave? That's probably the thing, right? That would be the show. We could leave early. Technically, we can leave early. We have to take 40 minutes of break, don't we?

[Jacob]

You do have to take the 5pm break.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have to, yeah. Because there's other advertising that we don't

[Jacob]

read out loud in the block. Not the ones you read live.

[Jim Norton]

Right.

[Jacob]

There's the preset ones.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, well, then I guess so you have ads. Well, maybe. Bobby, you'll have your chocolate when you get back. Maybe you wanted some chocolate.

[Jim Norton]

I love some chocolate. Can you scrounge some up?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the bonfire for now. Pilots know that weather factors like storms, turbulence and icing can turn routine flight into a challenge. But what if you had satellite delivered weather data giving you the full picture of what's around you? With SiriusXM Aviation, get coast to coast high resolution weather info, all without altitude limitations or line of sight restrictions. Fly confidently, knowing you have the best information available to make decisions in flight. Visit SiriusXM.com aviation to learn more.

[Jim Norton]

Real talent is defined by what people can do, not where they learn to do it. So by stopping at the education section

[Bobby Kelly]

of a resume, you might throw away the perfect hire skills first.

[Jim Norton]

Hiring helps you see talent others miss. Like more than 70 million stars skilled through alternative routes let their story unfold and gain a competitive advantage. Because hiring managers who start with skills are 60% more likely to find a successful hire.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hire skills first learn [e-mail] brought to you by opportunityatwork and the ad Council.