
The Beastmaster himself Justin Silver took a nude selfie 15 years ago and Jay still shows it off to this day. In fact, he makes everyone in the room look at its healthy splendor. | Bobby mentions that he cannot win in a physical fight with his wife because she would outlast him. Justin punched a hotel television like a rock star. Jay remembers Christine taking a swing at him in a booze-filled stupor. This takes him down memory lane of Christine's many drunken misadventures. Christine shares chocolates with everyone to smooth out the aggressive vibe of all the fight stories. | Enjoy an encore episode of Jacob Loves Guys! Justin Silver on Instagram @iamjustinsilver *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
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Jay Oakerson
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Bobby Kelly
And now the bonfire with Big J.
Christine Evans
Okerson and Robert Kelly.
Jay Oakerson
It's a great song, Bobby. Is this like what I would do? And I'd sing this right here. I'd go like, I'd make a Mick Jagger thing. Like this. Like this.
Christine Evans
I do like it. Can you give me a little more sway though? That's it right there. A little more? Yeah, a little more. Yeah, I want you to in it like you. You just. Oh, there it is right there. God damn it, Lou. Get this on video. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2. Yeah. No, go back to mean. You're in you funk face. It stinks. It smells. Ooh, it stinks. Oh, it doesn't smell good at all. That's the face. What is that? Yuck. That's it. Funk it. Wow. I like it flying.
Jay Oakerson
Okay, there is.
Christine Evans
Okay, I just gotta say this. Yes, I'm gonna say this right now. Fire Justin. Yep, Justin's a good looking dude, man.
Jay Oakerson
Thank you. Sure. He's just picking his ear while you said that too. That's how good looking he is. Out of nowhere.
Bobby Kelly
You're just saying that.
Christine Evans
You're walking across the room and I just looked over at your goddamn pink shirt.
Jay Oakerson
Did you ever see the picture of his beautiful penis?
Christine Evans
No.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, I'll send it to you.
Bobby Kelly
It was the reason I got kicked out of comedy.
Christine Evans
I do not want to see it. I don't. Because I don't wanna know every new one.
Bobby Kelly
I have new ones.
Jay Oakerson
No, there's the dick pic.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it's good.
Jay Oakerson
It's. The only person I know was dick picking my phone. I have a few. I'm sure I've taken for jokes over time. And yeah, Kim, which used to send me dick pics. A lot of like, funny, like, memes.
Bobby Kelly
And wait, you've seen it on. On ykw.
Jay Oakerson
It doesn't matter.
Bobby Kelly
You've seen it.
Jay Oakerson
This is the pick.
Bobby Kelly
It's my headshot.
Christine Evans
I think I put it out of my head because I don't want to have it in my head when I'm jerking.
Jay Oakerson
This is the pick. And you're gonna want to see the pick for sure.
Christine Evans
I mean, dude, you are. Do you. You don't even shave your arms, do you?
Bobby Kelly
Do you?
Jay Oakerson
He shaves everything. No, Justin shaves.
Bobby Kelly
No, no, I don't shave. I don't shave my arms. I don't. I don't. I don't do that.
Jay Oakerson
Photos.
Bobby Kelly
It's gay to shave your arms, right?
Christine Evans
Jake, are you sending this to my phone?
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Christine Evans
Oh, God.
Jay Oakerson
Photos. Okay, now, this is easy for me because I just know this was early. Early iPhone.
Bobby Kelly
Is it. It's, like, in your favorites.
Christine Evans
What do you have?
Jay Oakerson
It's not my favorites. I don't have to go with my favorites.
Bobby Kelly
You have an album.
Jay Oakerson
It's way back. You were in my first, like, eight pictures ever. I had on my phone.
Bobby Kelly
Isabella.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, yeah. Isabelle's a child. Before this happens.
Bobby Kelly
What are you doing?
Christine Evans
I was looking at you, by the.
Jay Oakerson
Way, directly next to a picture of two things. Me. This is great. This is what your dick pic is nestled between a picture of me and the band. 2 cents on a roller coaster indoors at the Mall of America. That's great. When I went on corn tour, your cockpit next to it. Two school pictures of Isabella.
Bobby Kelly
Why aren't the. You should put these on a wall in a new house.
Christine Evans
Maybe we could, like. If we could take that picture and put it on a big piece of canvas and then make it, like, you know, Andy Warhol type color, you know?
Jay Oakerson
Robert.
Christine Evans
Yes.
Jay Oakerson
Check your phone real quick. Thanks.
Christine Evans
Oh, here it is. All right, I'm gonna close my eyes, and then I'm gonna look.
Bobby Kelly
I'm not embarrassed by this.
Christine Evans
God damn it, Dude. That is not real.
Jay Oakerson
The lighting is everything, for sure.
Christine Evans
Okay, I'm gonna.
Jacob
I mean, your eyes are popping out of your head just at the thought of looking at it.
Bobby Kelly
She's seen.
Justin
She's seen this gaze across his stomach.
Jay Oakerson
The pick.
Christine Evans
I need to know who took it.
Bobby Kelly
I did it. Yeah.
Christine Evans
No, no, no. I was.
Bobby Kelly
The computer was in front of me, and I was. And I hit the.
Jay Oakerson
But he had. He made sure there was a light. It was a good light coming in. You want to see it? Jacob, don't you listen to me.
Jacob
Lying on his stomach. Soft.
Jay Oakerson
No, it's not. Christine's giving a Bad thing. It's not lying.
Christine Evans
I got to get this.
Jay Oakerson
It's being. It's being pushed forward a little bit.
Bobby Kelly
Show it to Dawn.
Jay Oakerson
Show it to.
Christine Evans
I know. I'm not gonna you out of here with.
Jacob
With Lewis. I want to look with Lewis.
Jay Oakerson
Huh?
Christine Evans
All right, listen. Why is it shiny?
Bobby Kelly
Because I was.
Jacob
Cuz I was.
Bobby Kelly
I was lubing it up. I was in the middle of, like, doing the thing with the thing.
Justin
Wait, while everyone looks at penises? Should I pass out the Valentine's Day?
Christine Evans
Just look.
Bobby Kelly
I refuse to look.
Jacob
Plus, the lighting is all perfectly shadow.
Christine Evans
It's not.
Jay Oakerson
It's good.
Christine Evans
Oh, look. Just look, Lou. There's like five separate conversations all going on about one. Just look.
Jay Oakerson
Just look.
Christine Evans
Come on. A support group together. Look, look. I look. I looked. Just look. I'll just look at his face again.
Jay Oakerson
It's okay.
Christine Evans
Look at it. Just one. Why are you being gay about it?
Jay Oakerson
It's okay. You're not gay for looking.
Christine Evans
Gay.
Jay Oakerson
Look at the beautiful penis.
Bobby Kelly
I'll drink again if you don't look.
Christine Evans
Look, Lou, then if I do.
Jay Oakerson
Look, why can't you just enjoy another man's penis? You don't have to suck it. You don't have to kiss it.
Christine Evans
Is that really bothering? Lou said I'll drink again if I do. I mean, I just want to say one thing. It's hard to look at.
Bobby Kelly
Okay.
Christine Evans
It's hard to look at because it's so staged.
Jay Oakerson
For a while, it became a problem. I had to stop because it was. It used to be what would come up when Justin called.
Christine Evans
It looks like. It looks like when Princess Leia was lying with Jabba the Hutt.
Jay Oakerson
It looks like. You're right. It looks like antique hut light. It looks like from the huts.
Jacob
Yeah, like an artistic.
Christine Evans
Now. Now let me ask you a question.
Jay Oakerson
Yes.
Christine Evans
You got the. I love that you trimmed your out, too, so you didn't see your butthole.
Jay Oakerson
No, no, that's just the lighting. Was that good?
Christine Evans
I mean, dude, I can't.
Bobby Kelly
When you go to the farm, this is how you learn to do lighting.
Jay Oakerson
Wow.
Christine Evans
Now how do I get this off my phone? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I need to get it on.
Jay Oakerson
All right, let me see it. Let me see.
Bobby Kelly
Okay. All right, ready?
Christine Evans
Are you ready? Yeah, I'm gonna show you sideways. It doesn't. God damn it. Now look at the job of the hut. Am I right on the money with princess.
Jay Oakerson
Look at Princess Leia. And now look at his penis again.
Christine Evans
Hang on.
Bobby Kelly
Hey, guys. Come to find.
Jay Oakerson
And then. Now his penis.
Christine Evans
Look.
Jay Oakerson
And now. And now the hut. And now. And now the penis. And now the Princess Leia and Princess Leia's penis.
Christine Evans
That's what I thought it looked like. Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Justin is like Princess Leia with a penis.
Christine Evans
Here's the thing he's got. Usually the helmet will be a little bigger. It's his shaft all the way to. The helmet is the same size.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob, can we. Justin, do me a favor. Can we do a photo shoot now where you are with your wiener out like that and I'll be jobbing the hut behind you. Yes. And you could be chained to me. Sure. That would be nice.
Bobby Kelly
Here in the studio this morning.
Christine Evans
Can we be doing this? Jacob, C3PO.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob, you be C3PO. Man, the Jedis were so great.
Jacob
It's at the. What's not just a penis pic. It's a full body pic. Full that. You didn't mention it.
Jay Oakerson
Well, torso.
Jacob
I thought it was just like.
Christine Evans
It's a torso. Let me ask you why. Where do you get the vision to take that photo?
Bobby Kelly
I took it for someone.
Jay Oakerson
I feel like that. For me, I feel like that. I feel like that. I took that. I feel like that. Like, that's not a photo that you take. Like, that photo finds you like, it just happened. It just happened to be.
Bobby Kelly
That's.
Jay Oakerson
It just happened to be.
Christine Evans
Did you look at the back? Like, were you like, oh, my God, This. This backdrop. This lighting is perfect. Let me. Let me get my. Because this is old school.
Jay Oakerson
Here's what I assume.
Christine Evans
This is just camera.
Jay Oakerson
Justin, I got this. Let me defend you.
Bobby Kelly
It's a computer screen.
Jay Oakerson
They're coming at you, I think.
Bobby Kelly
I don't think they're coming at me hard.
Jay Oakerson
I got this.
Christine Evans
I'm coming at you later.
Jay Oakerson
My assumption was Justin was trying to discreetly masturbate with men on the Internet on one of those jack sites. And then when he saw himself, the lighting, which was at the time thought of to be shameful lighting. So he hides his face from having sex with cyber sex with men.
Bobby Kelly
Good fucking song, dude.
Jay Oakerson
But. But what happened was when he saw himself, he goes, listen, now that I could do worlds here, I could also take this picture that women will very much enjoy because look how fucking good I look right now. And I'm so hard from guys not.
Christine Evans
Knowing that his friends would enjoy it just as much.
Bobby Kelly
No, no, no.
Jay Oakerson
Right? No, no, no, no. He knew for sure. I'm telling you, friends, this picture wasn't sent to me, like, a little bit later. This was. But it's Such a good picture. I will tell you. And this is.
Christine Evans
Did he send just to you that night?
Jay Oakerson
Just. Yeah, yeah. Justin, am I being fair that I could tell you the night? I'll tell you the night you.
Christine Evans
So you took the year of our Lord, you took this picture and then immediately sent it to Jay?
Jay Oakerson
I probably.
Bobby Kelly
I probably would have been like, buddy, check this out.
Jay Oakerson
There's got to be some facts on this thing, right?
Bobby Kelly
We're very open with each other, which. Cause we're not gay.
Christine Evans
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
You know what I mean? That's what guys do.
Jay Oakerson
You have. No problem. This picture was sent to me. This is great. This was sent to me 1:04am 1:04 in the morning.
Jacob
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
January 15th. Which means it was cold outside. 2010.
Christine Evans
Wow.
Jay Oakerson
I've had this picture in a phone for 15 fucking years. That's crazy.
Christine Evans
And that. Let me just say something. Do you know how hard it is to take a good photo?
Jay Oakerson
That's why.
Christine Evans
It's. That's why.
Jay Oakerson
And I do. So, so. So now for 15 years, am I being fair, Justin? Saying every three to five, I'll be like, I get a random thing one day goes, dude, do me a favor. I'm sitting with this chick. Send me the pic. The pic. And I go, I guess. And I know. I go, thing. And I go way up. I go back to 2010 in my pictures.
Bobby Kelly
But the second the message says delivered, that thing is on its way back. Like he's been waiting.
Jay Oakerson
I go, buddy, I can't wait to wingman this. You got it, bud. I got it. I know right where it's at. Say no words. I go, there we go. Isabella, me and two cents on a roller coaster. Justin's dick.
Christine Evans
Now, do you have any other pics or is that the only pic?
Bobby Kelly
I've got an album. You want to see it?
Christine Evans
Yes.
Jay Oakerson
Look at my dick, dude. It's like rock hard right now.
Bobby Kelly
The up thing is it's in my hidden pictures where there's also pictures of my dogs that died. So I gotta deal with that.
Christine Evans
I mean, that's crazy. That's funny.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. I haven't separated the album. I mean, you should like things I don't want out in the public.
Jay Oakerson
But why would you have to hide that at all?
Christine Evans
Yeah, dude, I don't like to.
Jay Oakerson
Don't look at pictures of my dicks or dogs.
Christine Evans
Why would you hide your dogs?
Jay Oakerson
I got two rules. Dicks and dogs. I don't want the world to see you.
Bobby Kelly
I can explain it.
Jay Oakerson
I can explain.
Christine Evans
I don't know how you can try to explain it, but it doesn't make sense.
Jay Oakerson
It's not gonna make sense.
Christine Evans
I mean. Dude, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, hang on. Not in a bad. Like that thing is so. I mean, what's that black box? Is this like an art thing?
Bobby Kelly
That's my tv.
Christine Evans
You need to get a bigger TV or your dick is huge.
Jay Oakerson
First of all. First of all, that's just a funn. That's just a really funny picture, though.
Bobby Kelly
I got a bunch of these.
Jay Oakerson
It's just a funny picture. Just take a picture standing with your bird heart. It's just a funny thing to take.
Christine Evans
Yeah, but why. Why does he have such a small television that does.
Jay Oakerson
That is a question we have to ask ourselves.
Christine Evans
What else you got? Let me just. I don't have one picture of myself that I like, and he has a whole portfolio of nudes.
Bobby Kelly
These are all like.
Christine Evans
Stop being so choosy.
Bobby Kelly
No, those are all naked. Those are chicks.
Christine Evans
Oh, yeah. Let me see some of those.
Jay Oakerson
Okay. My dick. Pick picture. My individual dick pic picture has got to be from 2000. We all saw that nine. No, no, no. Not that one. That was what somebody took of me. Like the dick pic. Dick. Yeah, I have is same thing. It's got to be 2,000.
Christine Evans
I mean, dude, I don't know. What the fuck. I never want to hear you complain about anything.
Jay Oakerson
I'm depressed, so just drink, dude, with that dick, just drink.
Christine Evans
Use drugs, man. Where is the ones? I mean, this is. I mean, I don't even know what that's about.
Jay Oakerson
Can we look into. There is pandemonium in the fishbowl today. There's a lot of people here that got the security out big time. Now, the other day that was going on, it was for Kirk Franklin's gospel explosion of Jesus all over your mama's ass. And we thought about possibly walking in black loo and treating it like a lost child you take back to a mall. Security. I'm talking for nothing right here, buddy.
Christine Evans
I'm so sorry. He just showed me something.
Bobby Kelly
No, no, don't, don't, don't.
Christine Evans
I'm not gonna say nothing.
Jay Oakerson
What was it?
Bobby Kelly
No, I don't want to distract from. I'm being rude.
Jay Oakerson
Who's his dick and dead dog in the same picture?
Christine Evans
His dog dying from his big dick.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, no.
Christine Evans
That's how he killed all the dogs.
Bobby Kelly
That's not true.
Christine Evans
I know.
Jay Oakerson
Is that why you have the word euthanizer tattooed on your cock?
Christine Evans
That's why he started fighting Fido.
Jay Oakerson
He goes, meet the euthanizer I gotta.
Christine Evans
Save the dogs that I kill yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Got to put her down so let me go get up for every.
Christine Evans
For every dog I murder with my. I save six dogs funny for find.
Bobby Kelly
Out the turns and you have a swear jar.
Jay Oakerson
You have a swear jar.
Christine Evans
I apologize. He sent me some. You were talking about the people in the. The fishbowl today. It is.
Jay Oakerson
Well, no, I said Kirk Franklin's thing was here the other day, so that didn't. That never interests me at all. Aggressive black gospel. I'm not the audience for it, but today there's. It's shade 45. And I asked who it was, and then black Lou told me a name. It is gorilla something. And before you freak out, it's a white guy, I think Gorilla man Nims. N E M S. N E M S. I don't know what that means.
Christine Evans
I want to hear it.
Jay Oakerson
Gorilla Nims. But you said they were pretty excited about it. Justin said it sounded good out there. And if that's what they were playing, someone else said they said a crazy thing like, hip hop's all about peace, love, and dancing.
Christine Evans
Peace. It was love, fun, peace and love.
Jay Oakerson
Okay, let me say first, if that's.
Christine Evans
Not in hip hop, it's not hip hop if it doesn't have those three.
Jay Oakerson
If this is him, I want to like him because it looks like me and him should be friends.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, you look. You'd be in a bowling league together.
Jay Oakerson
We both love sweatshirts, and we both probably hate the way we look on camera when our sweatshirt gets stuffed underneath our tits.
Christine Evans
One could be the other one's stunt.
Jay Oakerson
I have a feeling Gorilla Nems always uncomfortable in his own skin when they film sitting.
Christine Evans
Yeah, both of you guys eat late at night by yourself on a pillow.
Jay Oakerson
Both of us love. Both of us love sitting, and none of us love being film sitting. Nims. Oh, he does songs with ghost face and them and them and thems.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, this is gonna be awesome.
Jay Oakerson
Ghost face and Nems.
Bobby Kelly
Sorry, I'm a fan already.
Jay Oakerson
I'm not gonna lie. This is very throwback to stuff I do like. This doesn't sound like the tight pants wrap that I do not enjoy. Okay.
Bobby Kelly
Speed is awesome.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob, do me a favor. Go over there with Justin's dick pic and go, hey, has anybody seen this guy? You should be like. Or say, hey, guys, I'm sorry I lost my son. Has anybody seen him? And then, oh, what? Yo, but.
Christine Evans
Two on my bucket list and I them in the same night that she all your mans. You still cuff that? I might spit in her face and.
Bobby Kelly
Then snuff that misogynistic.
Jay Oakerson
It's not really. I don't know if I agree with all this. Oh, Bobby, Bobby.
Christine Evans
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Can I give you a good. Let me tell you my favorite thing. Christine already knows where I'm going with this.
Christine Evans
I'm still thinking of Justin's Cox in my head. I can't get it out.
Jay Oakerson
You gotta get Christine's on. Christine's on one.
Christine Evans
I needed to get this off my phone for.
Jay Oakerson
Christine's definitely on. She leave it on the floor. Barked at me yesterday for helping her up when she fell and telling her that she was about to trip herself back up again. Then this morning. So my out. The only algorithm that really hits me on any kind of, like, things, I guess, besides like, streaming services, is YouTube, because I'm not really on Tick tock at all and. And Instagram's not really an algorithm. I don't think so. Like, it's just the only thing I have is YouTube. And so Tuesday nights, late Tuesday nights, when Corey Holcomb's new show comes out and I just click it because, like, again, especially now, like, Eagles Talk is going to be over. Sixers are terrible. So my YouTube's going to be true crime. And when I'm just listening to stuff, it's Kevin Brennan stuff, you know, like Kevin Brennan, those guys fighting constantly and shit like that. And Corey Holcomb comes up every week. So I click it and I just, you know, it plays in the background while I get ready and shit. And years ago, I remember Isabella showed me Cardi B before she became even a rapper. She was like, going to reality. She's like, love and hip hop or one of those things. And she was. Isabelle was young and showing me Cardi B. And I was like, isabelle, I know you like this, but you think I was so worrisome to me that I was like, oh, I remember this. You're laughing at this, right? Like, you don't think this is like, the cool thing you want to do. Like, you get why she sounds ridiculous. Like, you're not supposed to be an adult and say, why you mad at my tifa's or whatever, you know, whatever crazy shit she was saying. I was like, you realize, like, she's an idiot, right? I mean, all the way to the bank. She became humongous since then. But okay, but I was just like, whatever was the behavior. I was just like, you don't, like, want to mimic this? Like, you get why it's like, funny too, and stupid. And she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Christine says to me today, she stops. She goes, like, do you, like, agree? Like, you don't, like, listen now? Because you, like, agree with him because, like, you listen to it, like, all the time now. She was checking me to make sure that I don't. Not getting in my head. Like, sometimes a bitch just gotta be told to shut the fuck up. And all she's hearing is like, is, Jakey, start doing this to me. She's getting worried. She asked me if it was. She asked me to make sure that. She asked me to make sure that I wasn't picking up bad habits from Corey Holker. She's like, you just like, you think it's, like, funny and ridiculous, right? Like, you're not, like, nodding your head, like, with it, are you?
Christine Evans
I mean, we're not. Of course we're not, but we are.
Jay Oakerson
Look, when the motherfucker's right, he's right.
Justin
I'm just like, oh, my God.
Christine Evans
Why?
Justin
It'd be like.
Jay Oakerson
I go, but listen. But here's what.
Christine Evans
Here's what I told her to put your face to the glass for real. Oh, it'd be so great if Don. Like this morning when I was like, hey, dawn, can you want to have some breakfast? She's like, make something. If I could have just grabbed her cheek and mushed it on a window and be like, make me eggs. How awesome that would be.
Justin
I know you guys want to live pimping hoe life.
Christine Evans
Yeah, we would. But we're not.
Justin
You just really wish you had hoes.
Jay Oakerson
But just double checking to make sure, like, you don't really. But by the way, I did tell her this. I go, no. I go. He's just like, patrice, he's saying, like, over the top crazy things. I go, now if I gave him an assessment to make an assessment of you, I bet you he would be dead the fuck on. I go, whatever it is you're afraid of Corey Holcomb teaching me is because you know, if he heard you and how you conduct yourself, he would have something to say about it.
Christine Evans
You should have went like this. If you were smoking, you should have went, hey, how much you weigh, Christine? And she told you and go, throw the cigarette on the girl. Go, step on that bitch. Put that out.
Jay Oakerson
How much you weigh, dude?
Christine Evans
I would love to. I would love to be a pimp.
Jay Oakerson
Just a misogynistic. I know. I wish I could. If I was handsomer, I would definitely.
Christine Evans
If I thought. If I thought I could take.
Jay Oakerson
If I was attractive, I would really treat women like.
Christine Evans
If I thought I could take dawn, like, 100 in a fight. You don't fight your wife because you.
Justin
Don'T know you could take her.
Christine Evans
I'm not fully. I'm not fully, like, 100 that I could win. You know what I mean? Not that I could. Listen, Jay, it's not like she would beat me up. I think she could outlast me, and then I would, like, be winded, and she'd be like, now it's my turn, motherfucker.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, you're gonna be able to absorb. Pardon me for using a Mike Fenoy, a term I love. You're gonna be getting wailed on by her Nerf knuckles, dude. It's not gonna be able to put you down. And when you regather your strength calmly and quietly while she's trying to hit you with girl stuff and you're recovering, your energy's building back up. And then you come in for round two, and now you're even angrier because she had the audacity.
Christine Evans
I don't know. I think Don would grab a cutcoat knife and stick it at me 75 times real quick like a prisoner right in the liver.
Jay Oakerson
You could not stop them from murdering you, motherfucker.
Christine Evans
Just hear this bitch.
Bobby Kelly
Like a prison killer, motherfucker.
Christine Evans
I had three brothers.
Jay Oakerson
What do you think? If there was an idea, anybody in this room who would be part of, like, a national story, who would it be and why? Do you know what I mean? Like, is it gonna be like, Christine, Like, a Bobbitt thing? Could you imagine if, like, we had. No, we never saw that coming. That Christine cut Jay's cock off and threw it out a window?
Christine Evans
We saw that coming.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, no.
Christine Evans
Okay, well, we definitely see that coming. It's happening as soon as you move into that house.
Bobby Kelly
I feel like I can see that definitely.
Christine Evans
You're not gonna shuffle work like that.
Jay Oakerson
Do you think that's the.
Christine Evans
Christine's gonna come in with a ripped hoodie and blood on it?
Jay Oakerson
The most likely national tragedy in this room.
Bobby Kelly
Well, we can weed em.
Jay Oakerson
Is Christine cutting off my penis and throwing it out of a car window.
Bobby Kelly
You could do prize. I could not see anything like that happening with black Lou.
Jay Oakerson
National news.
Bobby Kelly
Black just go backwards and, like, deduce. Like, I couldn't see anything like that. Having a black.
Jay Oakerson
He's got a lot of white family.
Christine Evans
Lou's got a temper, too.
Bobby Kelly
I've never seen it lose.
Christine Evans
Yeah, I know. That's what's scary is you don't see it, but it's there.
Jay Oakerson
He was just trying to teach his father in law karate and spin. Kicked his head off. It was a total accident. Jacob. Jacob could be a thing. Yeah. It's like when they fucking eventually ran the door open and Jacob's just sitting playing with like a. He's picking flowers off a sunflower surrounded by dolls. I've been waiting for you, gentlemen.
Bobby Kelly
There's a map with red strings all behind him.
Jacob
The one I have nightmares about is, you're gonna find me three days later with my eyeballs eaten out by rats.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, do you have rats in your apartment?
Jacob
Why didn't Jacob show up for the live show?
Bobby Kelly
Do you have rats in your apartment?
Jay Oakerson
We'll check in. Three days.
Christine Evans
He left the window open.
Bobby Kelly
They're around.
Jacob
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Whoa.
Bobby Kelly
Why don't you shoot those? You shoot the iguanas.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Gus, Gary and Frank.
Bobby Kelly
Once you get a fucking iguana in the house.
Jacob
I know. I mean, I got plenty of stuff to kill stuff with. In Florida.
Jay Oakerson
You don't even have something to kill. Oh, yeah. You're up close combat Rat. A shoe. Why don't you Challenge. Why don't you? When next time you see a rat, kick a knife towards them and then you pull a knife out and you go, let's do this my way.
Jacob
I haven't seen any. Any in the apartment yet. That's my night.
Christine Evans
Oh, they're there.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, so that's the reason you haven't slid a knife over and challenged him to. A knife. Okay, good. I want to make. Took that seriously.
Christine Evans
Get little plastic bags and put them around your bed at night. And then if you hear a little wrinkling and cr. That's what that. That's when there's a rat in your.
Jay Oakerson
House or it's sucking your dick.
Christine Evans
Yeah, yeah. Put peanut butter in your dick.
Bobby Kelly
Put my dick pic over your bed. They don't come near it.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, nice. Dude, that'd be great.
Christine Evans
I would love to get like a huge. That blown up into a massive photo.
Jay Oakerson
We could.
Bobby Kelly
I'll send you a print.
Christine Evans
Can we do that and put it in your studio downstairs?
Jay Oakerson
I don't mind that I'm getting a truck. I'm thinking about wrapping it with something. I should wrap it with that.
Christine Evans
You should put that on the bed.
Jay Oakerson
Absolutely. I just have the legs open and then like, have that. The black stripe that goes down the middle. Just be like over your wing. That would be nice.
Christine Evans
That would be my poster for my album.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah. That should be your headshot. Get it? Headshot.
Bobby Kelly
I got it.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
I got it the whole time.
Jay Oakerson
Make sure. Look at it through a loop.
Christine Evans
Black Lou, definitely not. Maybe. But DJ Lou was on the verge. But not anymore.
Bobby Kelly
He's turned to the good.
Jay Oakerson
Oh yeah. DJ Lou is still. Yeah. Most likely to make national news.
Christine Evans
Yeah, national, national. But not anymore. He's. He's most. He's.
Jay Oakerson
Well, this guy keeps cruising for pussy in Compton. I mean, eventually it's gonna go haywire for you, dude. What, you never seen a guy longboard listening to Pearl Jam out loud through Compton? I'm going to Slauson swap meet meat.
Christine Evans
I live on the edge. What a pull. Dude, I think it's gonna be Christine.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, it's gonna kill me.
Christine Evans
No, we're just gonna turn on the news one and she's just gonna be staring into the. With some like Blair Witch stick behind her, right? Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
But she goes national for what though? What has she done?
Christine Evans
It's. You're. You're gone.
Jay Oakerson
It's killing me.
Christine Evans
Yeah, you're gone. You're dead in a four foot pool, just floating. Yeah, maybe something like that.
Jay Oakerson
She is unhinged.
Christine Evans
Yeah, well, she's getting a little. I mean, you know, she's getting a little. She's trying to, you know, make sure you're not that guy. I mean, you are moving to a house. You're gonna be right now. You're with neighbors, there's people around, there's safety, there's a door guy.
Bobby Kelly
You don't have a gun yet.
Jay Oakerson
She's making sure that I'm not murderous and crazy.
Christine Evans
Yeah, dude, when you get a gun, you better lock that up.
Bobby Kelly
No, there's a gun box in the house.
Jay Oakerson
Gun box.
Christine Evans
Found it.
Jay Oakerson
It's accessible to everybody. If you could find it. It's very, very trouble. Just so you know, if you could find it. You can murder me in my own house. It's actually in a terrible place. I would say that little hiding spot.
Justin
Box, I think it's perfect.
Jay Oakerson
But it's a fun place to put something.
Bobby Kelly
Like a gun? No, A grenade.
Christine Evans
Have you guys ever fought, like where it got physical? No, no.
Jay Oakerson
Physical. No.
Christine Evans
Like, have you ever got. Have you ever.
Jay Oakerson
I think I.
Christine Evans
Well, you wanted to go physical.
Jay Oakerson
No, I think one time, like, you know, we were staying, she was standing in front of the bed and we were arguing and I pushed her like onto the bed. And even I think right away, even when I was like, I'm sorry, that's like. I go, I only did it because it's a bed and I could put. And it's like I knew it was. She was laying on the bed. But I was also like, it was such a bully move. I'm like, she can't do anything back. She just has to eat it.
Christine Evans
When you land in a bed, you can't even get up quick. Yeah, you have to bounce a couple times.
Jay Oakerson
I like shoved her on. I shoved her under the bed. And then I was like. And then I was like, sorry, that's such a bully. I was like, you're sitting. Just eat it. Like everybody. Have you noticed that everywhere you go it seems like prices are going up? They keep saying it. The grocery store, your cars, your appliances, everything is through the roof right now. Wouldn't it be nice if prices would go down? Well at Metro? They've got your back. They've lowered their prices and are giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you also get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit Metro by t mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number. Not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guarantee covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. Details at metro by t-mobile.com Guys, you know, running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need and they're all so expensive and since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo. That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software. So you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it, right? But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is, why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's o d o o.com odoo.com this.
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Justin
Yeah, he shoved me, then apologized and walked away. There was one time though when I was hammered and I just like saw fucking red and just swung at your face.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, the last night she drank, she came in to like fight me.
Justin
I mean, it was great.
Jay Oakerson
I didn't film that, but yeah, she came to the room one point to just fight me.
Bobby Kelly
Wait, you have, you have, you have Christine going crazy films?
Jay Oakerson
Oh, yeah. I mean, no, no, I don't have her going crazy. I have her drunkenly trying to explain why her drinking is not a problem currently. And it's great.
Justin
Not a problem.
Christine Evans
I would love to see that.
Jay Oakerson
So when you swung it, the audio of the thing we will play one day on this show. And Christine doesn't give a about it, but like, it's one of the funniest things ever when she. I've told the line a bunch. When she says, she goes, you think I'm so supposable. And I'm going, that's not a word. And she goes, it is. Look it up in the urban. She goes, look it up in the urban dictionary.
Christine Evans
I mean. And I go, when you're not drunk, when you make a mistake with a word.
Jay Oakerson
I go, I go, she was looking up in the urban dictionary. Go, I'll look it up in every dictionary in the globe. And I promise you, supposable's not a word.
Bobby Kelly
Letters have never been put in that order.
Jay Oakerson
And that's where she goes, the timing is. I'll look it up in any dictionary in the world. I promise you it's not a word. And she goes, exactly. I gotta see that.
Christine Evans
I wanna hear this.
Jay Oakerson
That's why Christine felt sympathy for that lady we watched yesterday, the lunatic who's demonic. She's being demonic.
Justin
I'm demonic.
Jay Oakerson
Christine was being demonic. That was the night. That was her whole trip home. She got in the. I left Fenoia. There's rich and off. Yeah, unfortunately you were there. Yeah, but we left. I left.
Christine Evans
You were drunk that night.
Jay Oakerson
She got drunk while we were doing the roast.
Justin
Bad wasted during the show. It was the day after Skankfest, and I'm still drinking. I just got wasted during the roast.
Jay Oakerson
And so, yeah, she. You know when she was obliterated after that? So I left. Cause she was leaving with me. I go, yeah, we're leaving. She was like, okay. And then we went upstairs, and as we're getting to the front of the thing, I turned back to look at her to be like, hey, let's put her. And I look back, and she's not there. And then I look back at the bar, and she's standing next to Gary Gomen going, let me get a shot of blah, blah, blah. And I was like, well, I'm fucking leaving. And I left. Cause I was annoyed by that. And, like, that. She was so obliterated so quick. And so I got in the cab, and Mike's like, hey, while I'm leaving, Christine's coming with me. She got in the cab and told the cab driver, she goes, I'm smoking. He just smoked cigarettes inside of it. When she got out, she dropped her entire purse all over the ground.
Justin
Oh, I thought that was when I was getting in.
Jay Oakerson
No, it was when you're getting out. Because that's when Mike. Mike came in the house. And he goes, you might want to go outside. Or he called me. He goes, you might want to come outside and get Christina. She's literally coming headfirst out of a car back with all of her stuff all over the ground. And that's when I started filming her. Not that part. I don't have her getting out of the car, which is her sitting, smoking cigarettes on the stoop, just saying banana shit.
Christine Evans
Why did you want to physically take a swing at him?
Jay Oakerson
I was making fun of her a bunch, right?
Christine Evans
Yeah. You know what? The fact that. The fact that she. She said it's a word. And you went, it's not in any dictionary. It's such a passive aggressive, beautiful, twaty thing.
Jay Oakerson
That was when she said. That was the argument. That's the same video I have where she goes, jay, you don't have a production bone in your body. And I went, okay.
Justin
Really stuck with him.
Christine Evans
He brings it up a lot.
Jay Oakerson
Well, you notice, it's just the only two sentences I remember. Those were the two things that stood out as, like, the funny.
Justin
Everything's like, you don't have an action bone in you. But, like.
Christine Evans
That's such a funny thing to say.
Jay Oakerson
That's what I'm saying. The funny. I remember it because it's such a. It's like, nothing to do. I'm like, this is what happens when you drink, Christine. This is what you're up and blah, blah. You don't have a production. Like, what the does that have to.
Christine Evans
Do with anything, Jay? You don't know how to make a latte.
Jay Oakerson
But the argument was that, that, that sounds like it's coming off of something. And you're constantly going, I'm a great producer and you're not listening to I. That's not happened. I never told you I was a producer, Jay.
Christine Evans
You don't know how to edit.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Jay. You're not a world class tennis player, Jay.
Christine Evans
You don't know how to use AI.
Justin
I don't even know what it was in reference to.
Jay Oakerson
That's what I'm saying. No one does. It was out of nowhere. It was just one of your insults for me. You were just like, you don't have. Oh, it probably was me. You were probably doing like, I'm drinking some sell, you know, we just had the gang fest happen and I'm just kind of cutting loose thing. And I was like, okay, like it's a fucking three day. I was probably trivializing that. And you were like, you don't have a production bone.
Christine Evans
How was it? How was her punch? Was it good? Did you duck it?
Justin
I don't think it.
Jay Oakerson
It wasn't a punch. No, she wasn't. She came in with like a. She came in like the veteran. I was like, her body just wanted to attack him. Well, you have to understand, all I have, I can't hit her. I wouldn't hit her. So it's all gotta be words and I'm great at that. So when she came in the bedroom at one point to do something, I was like, whatever it was, she came in and it was like, like whatever pontificate or whatever her like proclamation she made she was going to go do when I was like, whatever. I went in the bedroom, just started watching TV or something. Like when she came in the room, I was, you know, whatever. I just made some kind of a mockery. I'm like, oh, what's going on? You couldn't get into the, you know, take over the world tonight or whatever you were going to do. And then she came over, just came like w. Like almost dove on the bed to start fighting me. I just got him.
Christine Evans
I'm going to tell you this. You might not hit physically, but you do hit with words.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Christine Evans
You beat people up and it hurts.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Christine Evans
What a twaty thing to say. What are you gonna do?
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, whatever. She came in, I was like, oh, what happened? I thought you were gonna go down the street and get some guys to beat my ass or whatever. I got whatever. She was just like. Because I just came in the room and I was like, oh, hey, stupid. Did you not do the fucking dumb thing? You drunk when we said you were gonna do?
Christine Evans
You should have walked in and be like, hey, don't you have producing to do the best?
Jay Oakerson
And then by the way, I think in that same argument then she also through this was the dumbest thing ever. We used to get weed like in like by an ounce in like a bag. So. But it was like just nuggets of weed. And we would put it in a mason jar.
Justin
That was different. That was before skanks.
Jay Oakerson
One day it was in a mason jar and she threw the mason jar.
Christine Evans
Wow.
Jay Oakerson
And it shattered everywhere. And then we're just like, our weed, that's our weed together. It honestly, it ended the fight immediately. Cause it was like, that was too far. And all of our weeds. We don't have a lot of money at this time at all. This is a lot of weed.
Justin
It was a lot of weed. And I just threw it.
Jay Oakerson
You can't smoke any of it's glass in it now.
Justin
I went, I immediately like, I threw it, it broke. And then I got on the floor and started picking up.
Christine Evans
Me and Dog got into a big fight. We had a wine rack the. Hanging on. On the. On the wall and behind it were the cabinets. And we got into a big fight and I was in the kitchen and I slammed, you know, enough. And I slammed the cabinet and the wine rack fell off with all the wine. But her, there were glasses that her father gave her from her mother. And she went, my glasses. And I went, I'm so sorry.
Jay Oakerson
We're fighting about nonsense. And you destroyed my heirlooms.
Christine Evans
I wanted to just slam the cabinet. I forgot that the wine was such.
Bobby Kelly
A Johnny Depp of a my father.
Christine Evans
When she went, my. My dad's glasses. I was like, oh, me and you.
Jay Oakerson
Go, you're still wrong in the fight. But that was. Ah, that sucks that I did that. Ah, that sure does suck what I just did.
Justin
I don't tell Jay what's important to me so he doesn't know what to smash.
Jay Oakerson
I'm not a smasher. It's going to be your teacher.
Justin
I was.
Jay Oakerson
I'm not a smasher.
Christine Evans
I hate that dream catcher. It means nothing to me.
Jay Oakerson
I would do stupid. I would do stupid more. I would do stupid more like stuff to my. I'm like the definitely like bang my own head for sure. Slap my own face like a door.
Christine Evans
You're a nut.
Jay Oakerson
Maybe. But again, it would be something that I know I wasn't fucking.
Christine Evans
You have kid fucking rage.
Jay Oakerson
I just. Well, it's better. Here's the thing. I don't want to destroy any of my stuff. So it's like that idea of that, you know, it's like even as like a child who's getting mad at a video game, you're like, well, I'm not gonna throw the fucking controller at the tv. All of those things are too expensive for this.
Bobby Kelly
That's what I did in fucking Orland when I fucking.
Jay Oakerson
You know what destroyed when you rock star that hotel room. Yeah, you took a piss and shit. Right on the fucking shit. You didn't give a fuck.
Bobby Kelly
No, I got so upset that I like, punched the TV and soda and I broke the television. I punched a hole through it and I lied about it. But I didn't mean to. Psych Witness.
Jay Oakerson
It's okay.
Christine Evans
I like. I like slamming a door.
Jay Oakerson
Yes. Go ahead, Christine.
Christine Evans
What have you got? Christine?
Justin
For Valentine's Day, I brought everybody some see's candy.
Christine Evans
Christine, can I say something to you? I love you.
Bobby Kelly
Wow.
Christine Evans
I love you.
Jay Oakerson
I love her too.
Christine Evans
I mean, that's so nice, but she's.
Jay Oakerson
Presenting it with a thing. Like, it's like everyone's favorite. No, no, she's giving you your. Her favorite.
Justin
No, that is a choice. So you can pick whatever little treat you want out.
Jay Oakerson
This is for who? Everybody.
Justin
For every. Open it up and pass it around.
Christine Evans
Okay.
Justin
It's like a box of chocolates.
Christine Evans
Oh, that's. We're not. We're not each getting one of those?
Justin
No, you're each getting one of those.
Christine Evans
Hang on a second. I take it back, Jay. What a cheap. I thought we were each getting a heart.
Justin
No.
Christine Evans
Yes.
Justin
I don't need to be that fat.
Bobby Kelly
You're gonna get diabetes, Bobby.
Justin
But what I did bring is my favorite candy. The milk chocolate Bordeaux bar. Chocolate hearts for everybody.
Christine Evans
Oh, all right. You're so sweet. You're back in.
Bobby Kelly
Do you want me to feed you one of these?
Christine Evans
No. Yeah, put it on the head of your penis. Let me grab.
Bobby Kelly
This is so nice.
Jay Oakerson
Catapulting was wang. What'd you say we do plugs during this?
Christine Evans
Yeah, let's go.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, my God.
Jay Oakerson
Go ahead, Bobby, because I have chocolate in my mouth.
Christine Evans
Here we go. Justin is hosting funny for Fido at the Cutting Room in New York City on Wednesday, February 19th at 8pm sharp. The lineup is amazing. Jordan Jensen, Ian Laura, Karen, Kieran Feehan and of course you guys know and love Dan Soto. It's gonna be great. You got any special guests coming?
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, yeah, we do, but we can't announce.
Christine Evans
Can't announce. They are doing some very exciting. Yamanique is going to be there. All Pros benefit the animals wounded and displaced in the LA fires. Get your tickets at funny for fido.org I did it last year.
Jay Oakerson
Kid Rock.
Christine Evans
It's great.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Christine Evans
Unbelievable. Yeah, it's a great show. And make sure you check out Big J this weekend. You're where you at this weekend, Jay?
Jay Oakerson
I am in Syracuse, everybody. That is gonna be Friday and Saturday night. Four shows, two nights, check me out. Then I come home, go to Austin. I'm doing Kill Tony next Monday and then out to Los Angeles doing the podcast runs out there. And then I will be doing a headline show 8pm Friday or I'm sorry, Wednesday, February 19th. And then that night afterwards, me and Louis J. Gomez doing a story wars there. So a few tickets for those left. So get them now and then I'll be in Ontario, California. Bobby's gonna be in Naples this weekend.
Christine Evans
Yeah. Friday night Louis CK is gonna be doing some new jokes, guest spots. Mike Kault is on the show. Danny Braff Saturday night. And then I'm on a forced vacation with my family and I'm spending thousands of dollars in Sarasota for this crazy thing. And I'll be there doing that until Wednesday and then I come home.
Justin
What I forgot got I got you chocolate cigars special.
Bobby Kelly
These are great.
Christine Evans
I want to bite your face. I love you so much. I love the way she said cigars. It says, yeah, very, very loving. I love you.
Jay Oakerson
You should her with one like Monica Lewinsky.
Christine Evans
Make sure you go to punch up live Robert Kelly and go to my YouTube page, YouTube.com Robert Kelly comedy. Watch my special.
Jay Oakerson
Oh my last day live before my special comes out next Thursday.
Christine Evans
This is what you guys got to do. We got to make sure that Everybody goes to YouTube.com bigjokerson on the 20th, February 20th, all day long, every day. Tell everybody, like comment, subscribe.
Jay Oakerson
You could have pushed it all week. You could have pushed it on the show all week. But we've now been forced into a vacation because Christine didn't think ahead at all and selfishly wanted to get her own time off. This is why sometimes you gotta push her on the bed.
Christine Evans
Baby, can I say something? I love doing the show, but I like doing it with you.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Christine Evans
So I'm glad you're gonna go do your thing and then we'll come back, we'll do the show together. So there you go. So thank you. It's better.
Jay Oakerson
It's better.
Christine Evans
Christine, you did a good job.
Jay Oakerson
You did fine.
Christine Evans
Thank you for my dick. Cigars.
Jay Oakerson
Justin, we love you. I love you.
Christine Evans
See you guys later.
Jay Oakerson
Crackle, crackle.
Christine Evans
So I didn't understand this weekend that you told me that Jacob likes guys, and I didn't understand his.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob loves guys.
Christine Evans
Jacob loves guys. That's right. Jacob loves guys.
Jacob
I love them.
Christine Evans
So we have a. We have a sitcom that we. Further ado starring Big J. Okinson as Tim Butterly.
Jay Oakerson
Okay.
Christine Evans
And Jacob playing Jacob himself. Here we go. He's looking angry. Ah, he's feeling shy. And we know why. Know why? Jacob loves guys.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob loves guys.
Jacob
Those ass cheeks.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Jacob
I love it when a guy compliments my vibe.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob loves guys. Jacob Low's Guys was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Interior, comedy club, New York City. The green room is mostly empty except for Jacob slouched on the couch, arms crossed, looking like someone just stole his favorite action figure. Tim walks in, sipping from a bottle of water. What's with the face, Jacob? You look like someone just told you Die Hard's not a Christmas movie.
Jacob
You really leaving?
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, man. I told you last week. I'm moving to Austin. Got that writin gig, remember?
Jacob
Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it. And Die Hard is absolutely a Christmas movie.
Jay Oakerson
What, you thought I was gonna stay here forever just to watch you cry when the diner runs out of fries?
Jacob
No, I just thought, I don't know, that maybe you'd change your mind or the universe would stop you or like, your car would explode.
Jay Oakerson
Yo, you wanted my car to explode.
Jacob
Not with you in it.
Jay Oakerson
Okay, relax. Jesus. Look, I get it. When Dan and Shane left, you were the same way.
Jacob
I was not.
Jay Oakerson
You just emotionally collapsed in a Wendy's parking lot and tried to fight a trash can.
Jacob
Yeah, that sounds like me.
Jay Oakerson
Point is, it sucked. You got over it. And hey, you made new friends like Bobby. And you still have Jay.
Jacob
I don't want new friends. I hate people. And Jay is slowly transitioning into a middle aged lesbian. I like Bobby, but Bobby is not Dan. You're one of the only people I don't want the throat punch on sight.
Jay Oakerson
Ah, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Jacob
Don't make this Sentimental man.
Jay Oakerson
I'm just saying maybe there's more to this. Like, maybe you have feelings.
Jacob
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Jay Oakerson
Feelings.
Jacob
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Jay Oakerson
Maybe, just maybe you might like guys.
Jacob
No, I don't.
Jay Oakerson
Hey, no judgment. It's 2025, man. You can cry over your boy leaving and still be straight. Or at least bi curious.
Jacob
I'm not bi curious. I'm just friend sad. There's a difference.
Jay Oakerson
Okay. Okay. Friend sad. Got it.
Jacob
I just don't want you to go. Who's gonna make fun of my outfits or finish my fries when I pretend I'm on a diet?
Jay Oakerson
You mean when you say you're on a diet with a cheeseburger in your mouth?
Jacob
Yes, that's our thing.
Jay Oakerson
We'll still talk, man. Call, text, FaceTime.
Jacob
I don't want digital Tim. I want real life Tim. I want Wednesday night wingman Tim. I want accidentally brought the same shoes Tim.
Jay Oakerson
You're literally crying like a five year old whose balloon floated away.
Jacob
I miss you and you're not even gone yet.
Jay Oakerson
Okay. Hey, now I kind of believe you're straight. This is way too dramatic to be romantic.
Jacob
I'm straight, Tim. I just have a lot of feelings and I don't know what to do with them.
Jay Oakerson
Dude, I love you too.
Jacob
Don't say that unless you mean it.
Jay Oakerson
I mean it, man.
Jacob
Can I have a juice box?
Jay Oakerson
What?
Jacob
I don't know. It just feels like a juice box moment.
Jay Oakerson
I'll get you a juice box, buddy. Tim exits to find a juice box. Jacob curls up on the couch like a heartbroken toddler.
Christine Evans
I'm not gay.
Jacob
I just. I'm just emotionally attached to a guy who smells like cedarwood and always carries gum. Totally straight.
Christine Evans
Jacob loves guys. He's looking fly. He's feeling high. And here's why Jacob loves guys.
Jacob
I sure do.
Jay Oakerson
On next week's episode, Bobby and Jay tell the world Jacob's secret that Jacob likes guys.
Jacob
I love them.
Jay Oakerson
Thursday night at 8 only on NBC.
Jacob
Nicely. That was great, Bobby.
Christine Evans
Real businesses rely on Spectrum business.
Jay Oakerson
Get the fastest, most reliable Internet starting at $40 a month.
Christine Evans
When bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment.
Jay Oakerson
Find a plan that's made for your business@spectrum.com business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.
Black Lou
And now, a credit building journey told through the majesty of music. Here's what your credit sounds like before using the GoToBank secured Visa credit card. But with the GoToBank secured Visa credit card, you can use your card for everyday purchases. And when you make on time payments, your credit will start sounding like this. It's easy with no credit check, no annual fee and credit limits starting as low as $100. Building your credit is easier with a Goto in your corner. Open a Goto bank account today. Fees, terms and conditions apply. See details@gotobank.com.
Podcast: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: The Pic with Justin Silver
Release Date: June 3, 2025
The Bonfire kicks off with the classic lively banter between hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, setting the stage for an episode filled with humor, candid conversations, and unexpected twists. Regular guest appearances, including Justin Silver, Christine Evans, and Jacob, contribute to the spontaneous and unpredictable nature of the show.
A significant portion of the episode revolves around Justin Silver's infamous "dick pic." The hosts and guests engage in a humorous and candid discussion about the photo, exploring themes of friendship, humor, and the boundaries of sharing personal images.
Christine Evans initiates the conversation by praising Justin's appearance:
"Justin's a good looking dude, man."
[00:44]
Jay Oakerson adds humorously:
"Did you ever see the picture of his beautiful penis?"
[02:03]
Bobby Kelly chimes in with a laugh:
"It's the reason I got kicked out of comedy."
[02:10]
The trio delves into discussions about the nature of the photo, the context in which it was sent, and the playful teasing that ensues. They explore the dynamics of their friendship, highlighting their comfort in sharing such personal and humorous moments.
Jay Oakerson comments on the longevity of the photo:
"I've had this picture on my phone for 15 fucking years. That's crazy."
[09:45]
Christine Evans expresses her reluctance to see such images:
"I do not want to see it. I don't. Because I don't wanna know every new one."
[02:16]
The conversation underscores the blend of humor and honesty that The Bonfire is known for, providing listeners with a glimpse into the genuine camaraderie between the hosts and their guests.
Beyond the central "pic" discussion, the episode features lighthearted conversations about personal grooming, photography, and the quirks of each individual.
Christine Evans playfully critiques Jay's shirt:
"You're just saying that."
[02:17]
Jay Oakerson defends Justin's grooming habits:
"Justin shaves everything."
[02:50]
The group also engages in a mock scenario imagining faces and expressions related to the photo, enhancing the comedic atmosphere.
Christine Evans describes Jay's expression:
"God damn it, Lou. Get this on video."
[01:01]
Jay Oakerson reacts to the facial expressions:
"It's the face. What is that? Yuck. That's it. Funk it."
[02:41]
These exchanges highlight the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday situations, making the conversation relatable and entertaining.
In a creative twist, The Bonfire presents a mock sitcom segment featuring Jacob and Jay, portraying exaggerated versions of themselves in a fictional narrative.
Synopsis: Jacob Low's Guys is a comedic sketch filmed in front of a live studio audience, set in a New York City comedy club's green room. The segment explores Jacob's emotional turmoil as Jay prepares to move to Austin, blending humor with mock drama.
Jacob expresses his sadness humorously:
"I miss you and you're not even gone yet."
[47:30]
Jay Oakerson reassures him with playful banter:
"You're literally crying like a five-year-old whose balloon floated away."
[46:28]
The sketch continues with exaggerated emotions and humorous dialogue, culminating in Jacob's declaration of love and Jay's mock-teary response.
Jacob: "I just have a lot of feelings and I don't know what to do with them."
[46:45]
Jay Oakerson: "I mean, I love you too."
[47:43]
This segment exemplifies the show's playful creativity, allowing listeners to enjoy a scripted yet humorous portrayal of friendship dynamics.
Towards the end of the episode, hosts share information about upcoming events, shows, and special appearances, encouraging listeners to engage and participate.
Justin Silver announces a comedy event:
"Justin is hosting 'Funny for Fido' at the Cutting Room in New York City on Wednesday, February 19th at 8pm sharp."
[40:33]
Jay Oakerson promotes his upcoming shows:
"I'll be in Syracuse, then Austin, Los Angeles, and Ontario, California for various events."
[41:20]
Christine Evans highlights Bobby Kelly's upcoming performances:
"Louis CK is gonna be doing some new jokes, guest spots. Mike Kault is on the show. Danny Braff Saturday night."
[41:30]
Additionally, they encourage listeners to support each other's projects and specials:
The episode wraps up with heartfelt exchanges and expressions of appreciation among the hosts and guests, reinforcing the strong bond and mutual respect within the group.
Christine Evans shares affection:
"I love you."
[39:36]
Jay Oakerson reciprocates:
"I love her too."
[39:43]
This warm conclusion leaves listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.
Christine Evans: "Justin's a good looking dude, man."
[00:44]
Jay Oakerson: "Did you ever see the picture of his beautiful penis?"
[02:03]
Bobby Kelly: "It's the reason I got kicked out of comedy."
[02:10]
Jay Oakerson: "I've had this picture on my phone for 15 fucking years. That's crazy."
[09:45]
Christine Evans: "I do not want to see it. I don't. Because I don't wanna know every new one."
[02:16]
Jacob: "I miss you and you're not even gone yet."
[47:30]
Jay Oakerson: "You're literally crying like a five-year-old whose balloon floated away."
[46:28]
Christine Evans: "I love you."
[39:36]
Jay Oakerson: "I love her too."
[39:43]
Authentic Humor: The episode showcases the hosts' ability to blend candid conversations with sharp humor, making light of personal and potentially sensitive topics.
Friendship Dynamics: The interactions between Big Jay, Robert Kelly, Justin Silver, Christine Evans, and Jacob highlight a strong sense of camaraderie and mutual respect, essential elements that engage and entertain listeners.
Creative Segments: Incorporating mock sitcom sketches adds a creative layer to the podcast, offering variety and keeping the content fresh and engaging.
Listener Engagement: Through announcements of upcoming events and shows, The Bonfire fosters a sense of community, encouraging listeners to participate and support their favorite hosts and guests.
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly continues to deliver engaging and humorous content, blending personal anecdotes with creative storytelling, ensuring listeners are entertained and connected with the hosts' authentic experiences.