The Whitest Thanksgiving

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode Title: The Whitest Thanksgiving
Date: December 9, 2025
Podcast Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk Channel 103
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Summary by: [Expert Podcast Summarizer]

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Episode Overview

This episode—titled "The Whitest Thanksgiving"—dives into the awkward, hilarious, and sometimes downright disappointing Thanksgiving experiences of Jay, Bobby, and the Bonfire crew. Blending their signature blunt humor and biting commentary, they share tales of dry turkey, culinary disasters, white family traditions gone awry, and the push to start new family traditions. The latter half of the episode transitions to the comedy world's fixation on Corey Feldman, including a discussion of the upcoming documentary “Corey Feldman vs. the World.” Throughout, the hosts and their crew riff on pop culture, roast each other, and deliver classic Bonfire banter, keeping the mood light, irreverent, and authentic.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

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Thanksgiving Disasters and White Family Traditions

[06:01–16:42]

• Dry Turkey & Upside-Down Cooking:
  The group shares recent Thanksgiving misadventures, focusing on Bobby Kelly’s shocking “white in-law” feast where the turkey was cooked upside down.

  • Bobby Kelly: “They put the turkey in upside down.” [08:39]
  • Attempts to introduce a Popeye's fried turkey to the meal are rejected for being “too black.”

• Traditional White Sides Gone Wrong:

  • Sides included mashed turnips (“mashed up turnips”), uncooked cranberries, and “loose mashed potatoes”—all subpar, by the group’s comedic standards.
  • Danny: “You think on Thanksgiving you do it... but Thanksgiving, you gotta fucking mash up those potatoes.” [11:30]

• Misery Loves Company:

  • Other crew members (DJ Lou, Black Lou, Christine) relive their own mediocre or lonely Thanksgiving experiences.
  • Big Jay Oakerson: “There’s a point when you have a child, when you get your own house where you have to start your own tradition.” [12:42]

• White Family Rituals:
  Jay relates poor white traditions from his Boston upbringing—like stockings and “just toast for breakfast.”

  • Big Jay Oakerson: “It was poor white trash Boston shit.” [13:17]

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Family, Kids, and Making New Traditions

[13:28–16:26]

• Jay recounts making Christmas special for his son, Max, including the story of getting him a saxophone at the last minute to keep the faith in Santa alive.

  • Big Jay Oakerson: “He goes, ‘You guys don’t have to believe, but I believe Santa could still get me a saxophone.’” [14:21]
  • Max uses this against his dad—“maybe you guys don’t believe in Santa’s magic anymore, but I do” [15:29]

• Discussion on the importance of forming your own family rituals once you have kids and your own space:

  • “That way you do everything you like and everything you don’t like, you eliminate.” [12:44]

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The Comedy Scene’s Obsession: Corey Feldman

[24:08–37:01]

• New Documentary – “Corey Feldman vs. the World”

  • The crew examines the trailer for a Corey Feldman documentary and reminisce about their own history following Feldman's wild journey, both on- and off-stage.
  • Danny: “It seems like it’s almost anti him, even though he’s in it.” [25:20]

• Insider Access & Longstanding Jokes:

  • Jay reveals he has “spies” for Feldman news. [24:34]
  • Nostalgic nods to “angels” (Feldman’s all-women band) and specific characters like Jezebel Sweet, who’s featured in the doc.

• Comedy's Relationship with Feldman:

  • The Bonfire crew lays claim to early, dedicated “Feldman-watching,” joking that now entire podcasts are devoted solely to Feldman.
  • Danny: “Now there is full-on podcasts just about Corey Feldman exclusively.” [28:52]

• Unpacking the Doc’s Production:

  • A hilarious but surprisingly sincere breakdown of the doc’s credits, speculating who’s involved, whether Feldman has any creative control, and dreaming up ways to throw a group watch party with fans.

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Pop Culture, Van Halen Debates, and Signature Banter

[29:42–41:29]

• Van Halen vs. Van Hagar:

  • Heated (but tongue-in-cheek) debates about the merits of the Van Halen and Van Hagar eras, using song references and classic rock fan references for comedic effect.
  • Big Jay Oakerson: “Van Hagar had hit after hit after hit.” [30:05]
  • Danny: “Van Halen. Van Hagar made songs for Blue Angel planes to fly over to.” [30:25]

• Favorite Concert Memories:

  • Reminiscing on attempts to touch musicians at concerts, particularly Jay’s antics at a Corey Feldman show.

• Advertisers & Off-the-Rail Jokes:

  • Jokes about ad targeting, personal vibrators (“get your clit together”), and other irreverent observations on modern life—often spun out in signature Bonfire fashion (eg. riffing on commercials for dildos, PrEP, air conditioning, and targeted social ads).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bobby Kelly:

  • “They put the turkey in upside down.” [08:39]
  • “I offered the Popeyes turkey. You know you can get a turkey from Popeyes? Got shot down.” [10:40]

• Big Jay Oakerson:

  • “There’s a point when you have a child, when you get your own house where you have to start your own tradition.” [12:42]
  • “He goes, ‘You guys don’t have to believe, but I believe Santa could still get me a saxophone.’” [14:21]

• Danny:

  • “Corey Feldman vs. the World... it seems like it’s almost anti him, even though he’s in it.” [25:20]
  • “Now there is full-on podcasts just about Corey Feldman exclusively.” [28:52]

• On traditions:

  • “That way you do everything you like and everything you don’t like, you eliminate.” [12:44]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:01–16:42] Thanksgiving food disasters & white in-law horror stories
• [13:28–16:26] Forming new family/personal traditions
• [24:08–37:01] Corey Feldman documentary breakdown, Bonfire history with Feldman
• [29:42–41:29] Concert stories, Van Halen discussion, irreverent banter

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, quick-witted, and laced with the crew’s trademark blend of genuine nostalgia, savage roasting, and pop culture savvy. Listeners are treated as insiders to the crew’s running gags and are welcomed into the world of real-life comedy family dysfunction, with a heavy dose of holiday-season honesty.

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Summary

If you haven’t heard the episode, expect a relentless, honest, and bitingly funny take on the realities of family holidays—the kind where the turkey’s wrong, the sides are worse, and your only refuge is starting new traditions (or just riffing about it with your funniest friends). The second half’s deep comedy-nerd dive into Corey Feldman’s career and upcoming documentary is an inside-baseball treat for comedy fans and pop-culture junkies alike. As always, it’s The Bonfire—brutally honest, sometimes just brutal, but always hysterical.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Zoe]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Bobby Kelly]

Zoe, this thing weighs a ton.

[Danny]

Drew Ski. Live with your legs, man. Santa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Bobby Kelly]

He's talking to you britches.

[Danny]

I'm not.

[Zoe]

Of course he did.

[Danny]

Right, Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Zoe]

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[Danny]

Or give it as a gift.

[Zoe]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice. My side of the tree is slipping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kimber.

[Danny]

The holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in.

[Danny]

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[Zoe]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Danny]

The Trans Siberian Orchestra. That whole orchestra can only use one bathroom in my house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're free to come to my house on any holiday.

[Danny]

Now at Bobby's house, the Translate Bureau of Ocean. Run around like a fucking farm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Especially Max's birthdays.

[Danny]

Siberian Trans are very tough, I hear.

Hey, this is my new girlfriend, Shavkat.

I don't know the names, last names.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love this music.

[Danny]

Yeah, my friend, the late David Z was in Trans Siberian Orchestra a bunch.

Then he died. I think we'll catch you guys next week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jerry Roacha is still alive.

[Danny]

No way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I swear to God, Danny, who died by the Way Sarge. Oh, yeah, Sarge is dead, you know, Remember Sarge? Remember the black guy with freckles back in the day, used to work the Boston a lot comic? Yeah, he's kind of like, there's all the Jewish shows in Florida and stuff. Yeah, you remember just Sarge. His name's Sarge. He used to work Boston Comedy Club a lot. He was kind of.

[Danny]

May have been before my time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was around when you were there, remember? Maybe you look at his face. Remember him?

[Danny]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He used to work at the Boston Comedy Club a lot.

[Danny]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Moved down to Florida.

[Danny]

I mean, this guy never crossed paths one time for one second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? Yeah, he used to be hanging out a lot and then he moved down to Florida and was making, I mean, a lot of money. Huge Florida comics.

[Danny]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he would just do the sells out.

[Danny]

Old Jews.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, no, he passed away.

[Danny]

I was gonna say it's not the dream to be that old in comedy and still be on flyers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean. Yeah, I think Jerry Rocha though, is still kicking around. Should I text him?

[Danny]

Huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Should I text him?

[Danny]

No. Yes.

I'm saying just like casual. Any other day, just be like, hey, dude, do you have like 10,000 bucks I could borrow? No, seriously, I'll give it back to you. Hey, bro, I'll give it back to you. And I'm gonna write, how much longer do you have?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, bro, are you still there?

[Danny]

Hey, can I borrow some money? Because, I mean, it seems like you're not going anywhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, do you have any valuable figurines?

[Danny]

Be like, oh, dude, I thought you died. I fucked your wife. Someone just told me the other day you're still alive. My bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just texted him.

[Danny]

Did you?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wrote, hey, bro.

[Danny]

Wow. Hey, bro. Heard your cheating death.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Danny]

Hopefully the final destination. Who is this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hope he's still around.

Oh my God, you have such a beautiful.

[Danny]

Bobby, please, a moment for Sarge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry, buddy. How.

Sweet.

[Christine]

Is this him?

[Danny]

Yes, It's Paul Joe DeRozo.

Rest in peace, Sergeant. Eventually.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ.

[DJ Lou]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We don't know that.

[Danny]

Oh, yes we do. Everyone's going down at some point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God, he's got a beautiful voice. I didn't know there was anything.

[Danny]

I love that. Screaming eagle was fly.

Is that his wife?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was.

[Danny]

So she's gonna need a little cheering up. Jacob.

[DJ Lou]

Not bad.

[Danny]

Oh, Jerry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jerry is Jerry. Great guy.

[Danny]

Very great guy. Beautiful.

We didn't know each other for long, but when he lived in New York briefly, I'd see him a lot. Did a lot of shows together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, sweet. One of the good ones. One of the good ones.

[Danny]

Very funny. Nice guy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wrote, hey, bro. We'll see what happens. It was delivered. That means his phone is still on.

[Danny]

Might have brought him back to life when you said that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if that happened? What if that thing just gave him the hope he needed?

[Danny]

I don't know that it won't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, you have such a beautiful voice from such a small man.

[Danny]

That's why, God damn. He gets to sing from his feet. A lot of us can't do that.

A lot of us can't send the vibration from our tootsies up to our chops.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, sir.

[Danny]

Welcome back to the bonfire. I was in Philly this weekend, everybody. I don't know why. We went to Nick's Famous Roast Beef and had delicious roast beef sandwich. I shouted them all out. One day. They're gonna know who I am and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Give a. I went to a place in New Hampshire called Nick's Roast Beef. Really not that good.

[Danny]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. It was like Arby's roast beef. It was like that.

[Danny]

Does everybody take shots at Arby's roast beef? Because it's not good. There's nothing wrong with Arby's roast beef.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's. It's hydrated meat.

[Danny]

Decent roast.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hydrated meat.

[Danny]

It's decent roast beef.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't. With decent roast beef. I'm from Boston, okay? I. With real roast beef.

[Danny]

That's fair. Listen, I can't argue that with a shitty cheese stick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you don't mess with a decent cheesesteak.

[Danny]

No. At all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And I. And I. And I. It was okay. It was all right. That looks good.

[Danny]

That's a nick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That looks good.

[Danny]

Very good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God, that looks good. How was everybody else's Thanksgiving, Jacob?

[DJ Lou]

Mine was dreadful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great. Anyways, moving on.

[DJ Lou]

Skip mine, Lou.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

DJ Lou. Mine was good. I spent it with my brother and my sister and my little nephew. Oh, that sounds fun.

[Danny]

Wait. You bold passed. I was going to tell you what everyone was saying I should be doing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah?

[Danny]

Were you doing it on purpose?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I just felt bad that we just went into ours and people didn't tell us about theirs, that's all.

[Danny]

Luz was quiet. You want to go back, we'll go back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just figured we'd touch base with the crew. I knew Jacob was gonna be quick.

[Danny]

Why are you. Jacob had a miserable Thanksgiving.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, because it's Jacob.

[DJ Lou]

This one was out of my hands.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

You gotta give me a break on this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta. Give me a little slack.

[Danny]

I'm sorry. DJ Lou's black girlfriend Won't let him come to the house. Won't let him come to his family's house. So they had to do quiet little thing, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't say that. You couldn't go to the house.

[DJ Lou]

What house?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no house.

[Danny]

Her family's house.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't allow you in? They're from California and they're homeless. No, they're from South Central.

[DJ Lou]

Noise.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Danny]

Yeah. Terrifying homes. I bet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is father, an electrician.

[Danny]

Father Wesley Snipes from White Men can't joke.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She doesn't have a lot of family. And you couldn't go. I don't. There's nobody to meet. I don't have to meet anybody.

[Danny]

Damn. That's a black ass family. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did they invite you?

[Danny]

I'm looking at you, Black Lou.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black Lou. How was your Thanksgiving?

[Bobby Kelly]

Awful.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was awful too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Terrible. Yes. We were with the white family. The white in laws.

[Danny]

Oh, dry ass turkey.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm still hungry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, really? Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

It didn't work out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What happened?

[Bobby Kelly]

They put the turkey in upside down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Danny]

Even your half white son's black enough to know that food sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why did they put the turkey upside down?

[DJ Lou]

Because they're.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Danny]

They're old whites, dude. They don't know what they're doing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Old whites? No.

[DJ Lou]

You're supposed to do that because the, you know, the. The thigh cooks. Takes longer. That's why they did that, Lou.

[Bobby Kelly]

They know they up.

[DJ Lou]

I was trying to.

[Danny]

They tried to spatchcock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, spatchcock is when you take the spine out and smush it down. Yeah, upside down is just wild.

[Danny]

Oh, the upside down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yes, upside down.

[Danny]

On purpose?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, not on purpose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They just fucked up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you come in and go, you're not cooking it right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I try to stay away.

[Danny]

They didn't know it was upside down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

White people.

[Danny]

Hang on, hang on, hang on. They didn't know it was upside down.

[Bobby Kelly]

Correct.

[Danny]

I mean, if you drew a turkey.

You just draw it the same way. Everyone understands, right? Like, wow. Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Didn't cook evenly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course it didn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Took like an extra two hours to get to finish up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Meanwhile, the sides are ready to go.

[Danny]

Oh, technically they could. Technically. Technically, they cooked the turkey right side up. If it was alive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do they.

[Danny]

They put it on its. They put it on its feet.

They put the turkey on its legs, did they?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did they put in the turkey?

[Danny]

White macaroni salad.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't put something in the turkey.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was a new recipe found on Tick Tock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What'd they do under the skin?

[Danny]

Did they put under the skin?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They didn't put stuffed butter under the skin, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was just as horrified. Just as horrified.

[Danny]

It's insane.

[Bobby Kelly]

They poured champagne on it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Danny]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How rich are they?

[Danny]

But champagne doesn't burn off anything that tastes good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't get champagne. What the. Who does champagne on a turkey?

[Danny]

Oh, God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't say anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Couldn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you could.

[Danny]

You could. Your mouth wasn't full of food.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I offered the Popeyes turkey. You know you can get a turkey from Popeyes?

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Got shot down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Danny]

Why? They thought you were wrong. They thought that was too black of an idea getting Popeyes involved on Thanksgiving. I do agree it sounds black as shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What kind of sides do they have?

[Bobby Kelly]

We had mashed up turnips.

[Danny]

Raw marshmallows.

[Bobby Kelly]

We had a fucking turnip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Raw marshmallows.

[Danny]

Raw marshmallows?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They had fresh cranberries, uncooked.

[Danny]

Hard potatoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did they have? What else did they have?

[Bobby Kelly]

Some loose mashed potatoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Loose? The fuck is loose mashed potatoes?

[Danny]

They put too much water in the flakes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Danny]

These weren't. These weren't ground up potatoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On Thanksgiving, they didn't make fresh mashed potatoes.

[Danny]

You think on Thanksgiving you do it? Listen, I grew up potato flakes. I don't give a fuck. But Thanksgiving, you gotta fucking mash up those potatoes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You make a potato, you mash it up. That's part of it.

[Danny]

Stuffing, I think, by the way, we're just yelling at the women of these families, though. These are not things we're doing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, of course not.

[Danny]

You're not mashing a fucking.

[DJ Lou]

Do you remember the video we watched when he took Alyssa to his side of the family?

[Danny]

I do. There's a DJ there.

[DJ Lou]

Amazing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And she was full.

[DJ Lou]

It was the complete opposite of what he's describing.

[Danny]

Four of his cousins were in the same sweatsuit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you have to call your parents and be like. And they were like, it's going to be all right, baby. Don't worry.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm like, please save some leftovers for me for tomorrow so when I get home, I can actually have a Thanksgiving dinner.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My God. You had Thanksgiving on Friday?

[Danny]

Black Friday. Black Friday.

Wow. I'll tell you what. Probably enjoyed a lot more watching them eagles lose. And on Black Friday, eating his turkey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you? Didn't say a thing. Did you have to sit there and eat it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I did.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I did.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I think, you know, like you were just saying before, this might be one of Those turning points where we take it over from here on out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gotta, man. Yeah, you gotta. There's a point when you have a child, when you get your own house where you have to start your own tradition. That way you do everything you like and everything you don't like, you eliminate. I do my Christmas. I do whatever. We used to have to wake up at my mom's house. Stockings first. You had to go through that. And then she'd come out with, like, toast. Just toast and, like, tea. You have to do that. We would get yelled at.

[Danny]

Toast and tea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If she caught us opening a. Yeah, just toast.

[Danny]

What dumb Boston shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. It was poor white trash Boston shit.

[Danny]

Boston tea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Danny]

There was no, like, eat your morning mayonnaise and crabs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eat your clam chowder.

Yeah, dude, I. We do our own Christmas now. We do our way. You come out, you do your stockings if you want to. We go right to a present. We do a present the night before. I love that. Open a gift the night before. I pass out all the gifts, I open all my shit last. It's all about Max and Dawn. Then we have a big pancakes or French toast, challah bread, French toast, breakfast. Oh, and then I always. With Max, you know the gift that he really want, and I'm like, we didn't get it. And then he. You know, and then I'd be like, dude, what's that out there?

[Danny]

Oh, God. Do you really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, you didn't see. The saxophone's peeking up, buddy. The saxophone video is the best video ever. He wanted a saxophone for. He asked three days before Christmas. He goes, I wanna. I wanna. You think Santa will bring me a saxophone? I was like, it's too late for Santa. He's like, you think it's too late for Santa? He goes, it's never too late for Santa. I go, listen, Santa's not getting you a saxophone because I couldn't. It's not happening. He goes, all right, well, you guys don't have to believe, but I believe Santa could still get me a saxophone. And I. I literally looked at Don. I almost teared up, ran to a music store and bought him a saxophone.

[Danny]

Is it funny? And now it's just another thing with a hole in his room. He probably fucks with.

Put a sock on the inside of that. Fucking. That saxophone opening right there. Probably take that town for a little bit.

[Christine]

Did you ever learn?

[Danny]

Then you get the brass. Then you get the brass on your ass. Chili.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He played saxophone in the. The school band for three years. Yeah, I Have a video of him. One of my proudest moments ever.

[Danny]

Fucking Max.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That morning he was walking through the streets of Greenberg, playing the saxophone, not knowing how to play. I have a video of it. And then he was in the band three years later, going down the street in the parade, playing the sax. So he played. Doesn't play anymore, but why not play the drums now?

[Danny]

But he cried.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he did cry. It was so.

[Danny]

Remember, he's worried about Santa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did.

[Danny]

Do you Pop? Pop? Do you think Santa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not even that. He was confident Santa. I believe in Santa. Maybe you guys. He literally said, maybe you guys don't believe in Santa's magic anymore. But I do.

[Christine]

Oh, he knows how to get you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he got me good.

[Christine]

I was Isabella's like 13, and her mom thought she still believed in Santa Claus. I was like, there's no way. I was like, she has to be pulling some con where, like, she thinks.

She thinks that if she, like, says that Santa doesn't exist, she's not going to get Santa presents anymore. So she's just like, yeah, yeah, he's still Max.

[Danny]

Max.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Max still pulls the Santa Claus. He was like, santa will bring me a dirt bike. I'm like, no, he won't. He's like, why? Because it's illegal for a 12 year old to drive a dirt bike. Santa doesn't do illegal things.

[Danny]

Hey, don't. Where's Max? He's downstairs practicing his saxophone with a young man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

With James.

[Danny]

Ooh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Him and James, they're doing jiu jitsu. I thought now they're playing.

[Danny]

Now he's playing sax for while.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

While James does jiu jitsu, moves on him. Maximus does sexy, sexy sex.

[Danny]

That is funny. I'm looking at the seat. Jay goes to philly. I ordered 50 cheese steaks for a bunch of fans and came watch that sit there while everybody just boringly watched the Eagles get their dicks kicked in. Are you guys ready for a comedy show? Leave for 45 minutes. Also. Also, you have to leave for 45 minutes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that sucks.

[Christine]

Doggy's jersey's too big. There's a whole thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What does that mean? Oh, is Philly jersey. Yeah, his Eagles jersey.

[Danny]

Yeah, her Eagles.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her. Sorry.

[Danny]

Don't misgender.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My daughter, I apologize. It's not your daughter. It's a dog.

[Danny]

My dog.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I get so mad at dawn. She talks to Doodles like she's a. Like she hear Doodles. Doodles, come over here. Now you can't go over there. That's not where you're supposed to be. Come over here. Come here, Doodles. Come on, girl. Come over here. I'll give you a treat. I go. I go, hey, Face. And she just comes.

[Danny]

No matter. Of course, no matter how old the dog gets, you could still baby talk them forever. Now what's happening is Max is getting older, so Dawn's reverting back to what I already see happening in the house is a dog being raised like a child.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love Doodles, but no, I.

[Danny]

If I died tomorrow, Christine would have a stroller for Dawkins.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wouldn't let it happen.

[Danny]

You won't be able to stop that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would stop it.

[Danny]

Train's gonna be outta control, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would break into the house and steal the. Steal every stroller.

[Danny]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And every little hat.

[Danny]

Hey, I appreciate that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would steal all the outfits.

[Danny]

I appreciate it so much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she got a shirt that says Big J. She just made you big talkin Big J junior.

[Danny]

I mean, we've been. We've been. We've all wanted to talk about Danny Br.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Studio, by the way. Danny. Just chilling out.

[Danny]

Danny Braff. Kicking it.

[DJ Lou]

Hello.

[Christine]

My Thanksgiving was great. Thanks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Christine, you weren't with Jay.

[Christine]

I. I was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So we. But you had Thanksgiving.

[Christine]

No, he spoke for both of us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny]

She had terrible Thanksgiving.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's. Your Thanksgiving is with him. How did you.

[Danny]

Terrible Thanksgiving?

[Christine]

The nieces. How to hex. They were pretty excited about that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the.

You would have been hung back in the day. Christine would have been drowned.

[Danny]

Like spells and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep. That's crazy.

[Danny]

Spells and shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Danny, I just introduced you. You're not on the show. Listen, the thing is.

[Danny]

Ben, you have a question.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did he lean into a dead mic, like spells and stuff? Why did you teach the kids spells?

[Christine]

I was just joking around and they got really into it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, because they're gullible little.

[Christine]

When they would go, I'm hexing you. I'm hexing you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. What spells did you take?

[Christine]

It was super fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What spells? Witchy.

[Christine]

There were no spells. It was just them pointing and hexing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you tell them to say anything?

[Christine]

No, I would put their fingers down.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd be like, be careful with that, buddy. We have to.

[Danny]

We've taken subject diversions today that have been worthless.

What about my Thanksgiving? We're gonna watch the Corey Feldman versus the world thing. We keep pulling the brakes on momentum. We gotta get our shit back together, gang. It was that Wednesday off. No, that's what I think it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, a spell thing always catches my eye.

[DJ Lou]

I mean, I've never heard of Somebody teaching hexes.

[Danny]

There was nothing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The show is sponsored by Better Help. It's coming. The days are getting darker and longer. It's getting colder. And the holidays are here. Balancing family and travel and gifts and where you're going and who you're doing it with, it's easy to forget about yourself in the middle of all this chaos. We always forget to take care of ourselves because we're worried about everybody and everything else. That's why BetterHelp is encouraging you to rewrite traditions this season by making time for yourself. Incorporating therapy into your new existing traditions can help you slow down and take care of yourself during what can be a joyful but sometimes hectic, lonely time of year. And that's what you want. You want to enjoy it. The holiday looks different for everyone. Maybe it's baking your great aunt's sweet potato pie or starting something new, like a quiet night with friends. Therapy can be one of those new traditions, too. Better Help gives you space to pause, pause, reflect and feel more grounded. They match you with a licensed therapist based on your goals and preferences. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime. With over 30,000 therapists and more than 5 million people served, BetterHelp helps people close the year with clarity instead of chaos. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% [e-mail] bonfire. That's B E T T E R h e l p.com Bonfire Guys, thanks.

[Zoe]

For helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Bobby Kelly]

Zoe. This thing weighs a ton.

[Danny]

Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[Christine]

Santa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Bobby Kelly]

He's talking to you, Bridges.

[Danny]

I'm not.

[Zoe]

Of course he did.

[Danny]

Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.

[Bobby Kelly]

And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus?

[Zoe]

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[Danny]

Or give it as a gift.

[Zoe]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kimber, the holidays are better.

[Danny]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Danny]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Board in a new line, 100 plus.

[Danny]

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[Christine]

HBCUs have a legacy that's straight up golden. And McDonald's is proud to help keep it that way. Since 2021, the Golden Arches has connected with the Thurgood Marshall College fund to provide $1 million in scholarships for students headed to our HBCUs. That kind of cash helps keep bright minds on the yard, dreams within reach and the future golden. Learn more about McDonald's Black and Positively Golden Scholarships at mcdblackscholars.com it was nothing.

[Danny]

It was just kids pointing fingers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pointing fingers is going. You're hexed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The power.

[Danny]

I'm sorry. Let's ride it out to the end of the show. My bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's see if we can do it.

[DJ Lou]

I am excited for this.

[Danny]

What? The hex. Oh, the Corey Feldman thing.

[DJ Lou]

Corey Feldman thing.

[Danny]

So who found this?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I have spies, and one of my spies sent it to me.

[Danny]

It's on YouTube.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Danny]

So it's out there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but it has.

Jay, please don't. Don't do this to my spies.

[Danny]

Apologies. Okay, but this is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have spies looking all the time for Corey Feldman. New things for me. I pay quite a deal of money, and in exchange for certain Things for them to 24 hours a day be looking for new Corey Feldman things.

[Danny]

And this is it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This came in on the wire this morning from Russia.

[Danny]

I watched this down the wire, the AP wire. I. I watched this when you sent it, not knowing what it was. It's a documentary apparently coming out about Corey Feldman called Corey Feldman versus the World. Yeah, big subject over here, Corey Feldman. And I thought because of the access it seems to have, that it was gonna be made by him to really like kind of not even clean it up, just be okay, this is my cool story. But it seems like it's almost anti him, even though he's in it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, even if he was in it, it would wind up being anti for sure.

[Danny]

But it's usually him not knowing what the thing. It seems like more like the narrative is. They're kind of exposing like a weirdo's life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I still think there's somewhere inside of him. I watch Corey. I watch a couple things of Corey and Corey. What was the show called? Corey the Two Coreys. And he was so normal in that. Like he was kind of normal, like regular. Still trying to make it actor as opposed to the other Corey, who he wasn't.

[Danny]

He wasn't. Years and years failed at that point, yet everyone still knew who he was. He wasn't acting like he used to getting roles, but he would get stuff here and there. He had that around that time. He was in Demon Knight with Dennis Miller, the Tales from the Crit movie that came out. Yeah, he was in that. So he was getting stuff. And then he just got wrapped into this dumb belief that he's a musician.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But even. Yeah, even in the arguments that they had, he was. It was still the normal one of the two.

[Danny]

Yes.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah. Compared to Corey Feld, to Corey Haim, he seemed very normal.

[Danny]

Yeah, yeah. Corey Haim was off the rails. He was, I mean, careening towards death, clearly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Danny]

And Corey Feldman was more like, hey man, we still got our names out there and chicks want to fuck. That was enough for him. But I guess he wasn't cornholed non stop the way that Corey Haim was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not for me.

[Danny]

Stop. But so, yeah, this is a documentary that's coming out. I said, listen to the. It's a lot of audio, so it's a good thing to play. We could play it. Take a peek. By the way, we know her. First person they show in the whole documentary is Jezebel. Sweet.

[DJ Lou]

Yep.

[Danny]

So pause it for a second because I mean, I love the trailer. Yes. This is back when you're still doing the angels. All the angels. And we were talking. We've been talking to Jezebel Sweet for quite some time. So like she's been out of this for a while now and she's in the documentary as an angel. So it's going back. This is like somebody. I feel like Corey film maybe tried to stop this from coming out and it's coming out. If he's behind it, I bow to him and I say he does get it, then he's being a shtick for a thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I feel like there is somewhere chance I have. There's somewhere in him where it's like, look man, in the day.

What we're like today being this can get you fucking likes and views and fame. Got him on the Loserville tour. It's got people talking about him all the fucking time.

[Danny]

You know, I mean we could not get anybody to vote for him on Dancing with the Stars. But that's not the same thing. That's different though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Danny]

Different crossover. Really bad different crossover.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was. He was the. I think Danny Braff would do better on Dancing with the Stars.

[Danny]

I know he would. With the right partner. Me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you. And a little bit of magic.

[Danny]

I'll be your professional.

[DJ Lou]

I would love Jezebel to call in and get her impression on this.

[Danny]

Yeah, well, she remembers this documentary being made or this footage being done. Absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is.

[Christine]

This has got to be 10 years old.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The footage.

[Danny]

I'll text Drift show, see if she'll call him tomorrow. That'd be a lot of fun if she'll call him because that's weird.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing from Jerry Rocha?

[Danny]

Huh?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nothing.

[Danny]

Oh, that maybe did it. You think he reached over because his phone buzzed to grab it and that's what did it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The tube came out.

[Danny]

Tube came out? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that would suck probably. No, no, no, no, no.

[Danny]

His air tube.

[DJ Lou]

I wonder if we're in.

[Danny]

This might be God.

I will say we were pretty. Not even ground level. I think the genesis of really doing a broadcasting about Corey Feldman. Now there is full on podcast just about Corey Feldman exclusively. Yeah, Jim and them I believe is the big one. It's just Corey Feldman news.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did he say at the end?

[Christine]

That should be the menu we saw.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me see.

[Danny]

That's just the way the cookie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

One of the greatest nights of my life. That concert was buddy when the full Angels on his birthday did a three hour concert.

[Danny]

I know it was champ.

[DJ Lou]

Told everyone.

[Danny]

I know. It never got better after that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I'll tell you what I mean, seeing him Live. He really does give it 159,000%. Oh, yeah. God damn it. In the sun.

[Danny]

Definitely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Definitely afternoon. Opening that show up in that outfit.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never wanted to run to the stage and touch somebody in my career of going to concerts.

[Danny]

And no one. Would you have been more sad if you got up there and, like, you did. You weren't able to get to him. Buddy, I was bummed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was front row at Van Halen.

[Danny]

Or Van Hagar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Van Hagar. No, come on, dude. Come on. Van Hagar had hit after hit after hit.

[Danny]

Commercial.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No way. Come on.

[Danny]

Commercial. Hits, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Danny]

Commercial.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, some, but not all. They. They were great. No, dude, one of the. I mean, one of the best concerts I've ever been to.

[Danny]

Yeah. Van Halen. Van Hagar made songs for blue angel planes to fly over to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right now.

[Danny]

Tomorrow.

[DJ Lou]

Song blows.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what dreams are made of. Come on. So baby cry.

[Christine]

Oh, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I gotta.

[Danny]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got a text message from, like, some weird number. Hope it's not from the other side.

[Danny]

Oh, God. From 666.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not here now.

Bobby.

[Danny]

I've passed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. There was something that happened to me at that show where I ran to try to touch Corey Feldman.

[Danny]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My insides.

[Danny]

You gotta react quicker. That's. We need a little more Josh Adamyers. Josh Adamyers just fucking started leaping over people to get to that stage, and security just watched him get directly in front of Corey Feldman and slap fans with him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Slap hands. Nothing's gonna do.

[Danny]

Yeah, nothing's gonna do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So we should definitely do a night at your house when this comes out.

[Danny]

Oh, yeah. And we come out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, we could do. We do it on Zoom or streamyard and let all the fans in.

[Danny]

Can you do that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you can let them in the chat.

[Danny]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

On Zoom. On Zoom. You can just give them the zoom and let them all come in.

[Danny]

Oh, we get shut down for showing it, though, if it's somebody's thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you could do it on streamyard and put it behind a Patreon.

[Danny]

It's coming out soon.

[DJ Lou]

Soon.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

December 12th.

[Danny]

What's it gonna be on?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that coming out in theaters? Because if it's in a theater.

[Danny]

Oh, Jez. Oh, hang on. Go up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's part of it.

[Danny]

She's not only part of it. She's, like, in the top cast there. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who produced it? Who directed it?

[Christine]

Marcy Hume.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Marcy.

[Christine]

She worked on Hoarders.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny]

Oh, Mars.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Marc. She's still Wearing the glasses.

[Danny]

Marcy Hume does look somebody I would know though. In show business.

She used to work at JFL Festival and now she's over at abc.

Hood to Coast. That's a weird thing to be a part of.

[DJ Lou]

It's so bizarre because you're right, this is like 10 year old footage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, right.

[Christine]

The last thing she's listed for was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

26. Who's the producer on it though? Is Corey a executive producer?

[DJ Lou]

Ep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because if he's an ep then he's involved.

[Danny]

What, you just X'd out the credits?

[Christine]

Well, no, because that was her credit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Casting crew. Look for crew.

[Danny]

No ep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's the eps.

[Danny]

Let's see.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Here we go.

[Danny]

Full cast writer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's no writer and just director. No eps, huh?

[Danny]

Could we get a hold of Marcy Hume? She seems touchable.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Oh, here we go.

[Danny]

Here we go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who is it?

[Christine]

Jim Cummings. Which is that Pooh?

[Danny]

That's the same name.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cummings.

[Danny]

It's probably not the Jim Cummings.

[Christine]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I know. That's Jimmy.

[Danny]

Oh, Jimmy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He used to sing with Morrissey.

[Danny]

Jimmy Cumstone. He's known for Thunder Road. Yeah, Jimmy. Come. You don't have to keep going through his stuff. I just want to see the names of the people that are there.

[Christine]

Yeah, well, these are the names.

[DJ Lou]

So he's not listed.

[Danny]

He's not listed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whoa, wait a minute. Who's the last one?

[Danny]

Star Rosencrans. That's a weird name. Star go to look who Star Rosencrans is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think he's Jewish?

[Danny]

Star Rosencry. Yeah. Now these people don't like they're being friends at all.

[DJ Lou]

No.

[Danny]

All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna text her now.

[DJ Lou]

No way. He proved that this. Now that I'm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who else is there? What's the other name of the producers?

[Christine]

Adam Franklin. Marcy Hume. Star Rosencrantz. Phil Shapiro. Nick Weiss. Richmond. Jim Cummings.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I know well. Phil. Phil Shapiro. That's. That's definitely.

See what he's got. No, no photo. He's the money guy. I think I'll put all the money behind this.

[Danny]

I'm asking. We're on air right now.

[Christine]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, watching trailer I wonder is. Is you guys. You guys, the bonfire when you started. This has to be in it because if it's that old they show footage of. They have to show a concert we were at. Yeah, they gotta. They gotta.

[Danny]

Well the show you guys might have been the concert like that tour.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do they have to.

[DJ Lou]

This is the. This was the main tour. It looks like that they're no, but.

[Danny]

They were doing a bunch of dates that was just happened to be his birthday. I'm saying that was a tour. It might not be our exact show.

Oh.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God. We should start a band.

[Danny]

Hang on. Will you call.

Bonfire tomorrow to talk about it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ooh.

[Danny]

This is our only connection.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow, this is gonna be fun.

[Danny]

If she says yes, it'll be very fun because she'll have some semblance, some idea of what's going. Well one, she doesn't like him at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Danny]

Huh.

[Christine]

Turns out he's actually a piece of it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Turns out he made me eat peas for six months.

[Danny]

Was it her that called us? She was the one who told us initially. But the thing is like, oh, they're all doing drugs and trying to. Him and his two girls gonna everybody and stuff like all the other angels. It's definitely a. Like a cultish kind of thing.

[DJ Lou]

She had to stay at Feld Mansion, I believe.

[Danny]

Yeah, I was. Got to stay at Felt Mansion.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, got to. Was lucky enough.

[Danny]

Now it's funny stars and they just go to the thing and you just see his weird like dreadlock son who keeps trying to kill himself and then. And his tattooed face girlfriend who's younger than his son.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So funny is Elaine. My friend Elaine from sex, drugs and rock roll made it to the finals.

[Danny]

Did she lose?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She lost to of course, the Crocodile Hunter son. Yeah, the Crocodile Dundee son because they, you know. He was unbelievable, by the way. I mean, he was made to be a dancer. I don't know if you saw his dances. He was incredible.

[Danny]

I did. I brought him to the show when I watched the Corey Feldman once.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's unbelievable. But we could call her. I can't see if I get her on the phone. It's funny too, because she was the finalist in that. And the next day on her Instagram, her. I guess she got sponsored by a vibrator company and she just had a. She has a thing on her, like her page about Elaine Hendrick about getting your right. Yeah, she's just like, you know what I do in between? Blah, blah, blah. I masturbate.

[DJ Lou]

And.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And she's just plugging this weird vibrator that I want to see if I can get for dawn here.

[Danny]

Let's work backwards from this. I don't know what the product's going to be right yet, but I want the slogan to be get your clit together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's right there, the one with the red shirt. Red shirt, right.

[Danny]

Hey, the whatever baba vibrator. Get your clit together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is right after she Was a finalist in the thing. She popped this on. She must go.

[Danny]

I've been wearing a butt plug this whole show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The vibrator is weird to hit. Play it.

[Christine]

I'm never alone for dinner.

[Danny]

She's joking, but it's too long.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's too long, but it reminds me like a 1950s commercial.

[Danny]

I think it's the thing. She's trying to be fun. I mean, she's clearly trying to be fun. It's not, like, done, like, where they were like, hey, I need you to do this commercial, like, verbatim. That's like her being funny for sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She must have got a ton of cash to do that, right? No, couldn't.

[Danny]

How much cash do you think little dildos make?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A lot.

[Danny]

That particular little dildo is not gonna be. Be the one that puts her over the edge.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How do you know?

[Danny]

Yeah, that's the body brain vibrator.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you heard of that vibrator Bellesa Never looks pretty good. It goes in and then sits on.

[Danny]

Your bunch of things like it. It's like the Bose out ear headphones.

I think we'll do the same effect. The Bose out out of ear headphones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna get a.

[Danny]

The Bose.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let's see if she can hook us all up with boleses for Christmas.

[DJ Lou]

Can I point out that the. I might have said earlier, the. The newest episode of Landman. It's a bit jarring because it's the manly show, I think on tv.

[Danny]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

Oil men doing manly. And then they cut to what episode? The newest one.

[Danny]

Is it episode three? I didn't see it yet.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, I'm not gonna bring it up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Came out yesterday.

[DJ Lou]

No, no, I'm not talking about the show, but they cut to the. The newest prep commercial. Is it.

[Danny]

That's just you, buddy. Targeted ad.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, dude, I don't know anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't see that ad. It's a. I just got ads for bearskin hoodies and. And guns.

[DJ Lou]

Well, the one I want is a.

[Danny]

Black man and other things I like.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, black men with a wig pretty much.

[Danny]

For cheesesteaks and air conditioning, I got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got Old Spice and chapstick.

[DJ Lou]

I had a black trans man who looked like Magic Johnson's son, honest to God.

[Danny]

By the way.

Trans men, I like that a lot. Is your. I trust that that is a transman over there. I don't think I'm crazy in saying that's a trans man.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I should. I think they should make the Transformers little. Little when they transform sound.

[Danny]

The doctor should do that. When they're cutting off a wiener.

He goes, wake up.

Wake up, chaz bono. Or should I say chaz transmen.

That's what I would want to do. I would say, leave my wiener, but just empty it out so I can just push it in backwards. And then when I do that, when I go, hey, you want to fuck my wiener? Or squeak on.

There it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then when you want to back.

[Danny]

Out, oh, no, you're looking for a little dick. Let me blow my thumb real quick.

There she is. I mean, he is. Oh, send the Blue Angels, everybody. Van Hagar's playing.

Is there Olympics starting around here? What's happening? What's going on? Is there opening ceremonies for something big happening?

Hey, is this supposed to be a rock band playing some rock music while I fix my car? This feels like I'm supposed to be piloting an F14 over something regal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God. You didn't like it when Eddie went to the dude?

[Danny]

What do you mean I don't like. Of course I like it when they start giving me the starting lineup at the Army Navy game. Absolutely.

Christ almighty.

[DJ Lou]

I'm sure this is my least favorite Van Halen.

[Danny]

We're back.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I was front.

[Danny]

Front row trying to touch Michael Anthony. You weren't even looking to try to touch the right guy. You're too young for that joke, Danny Bradford. But that was a great one. Michael Anthony. I stand by it. Make sure you go see Bobby Kelly and Uncle Vinny's in Point pleasant, New Jersey, December 5th and the 6th.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This Friday.

[Danny]

That's this Friday and Saturday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ooh.

[Danny]

Then the comedy works south in Colorado. Batavia, Illinois. Punch up that live Robert Kelly comedy dot com.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go to his stuff. Get all stuff. We'll see you guys tomorrow.

[Danny]

Lou starts playing the thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Danny]

We gotta go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know. It's the bonfire.

[Danny]

Ah, the sounds of an Etsy holiday.

[Zoe]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

For gifts that say I get you.

[Zoe]

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[Bobby Kelly]

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