The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode Title: The Whitest Thanksgiving
Date: December 9, 2025
Podcast Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk Channel 103
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Summary by: [Expert Podcast Summarizer]

Episode Overview

This episode—titled "The Whitest Thanksgiving"—dives into the awkward, hilarious, and sometimes downright disappointing Thanksgiving experiences of Jay, Bobby, and the Bonfire crew. Blending their signature blunt humor and biting commentary, they share tales of dry turkey, culinary disasters, white family traditions gone awry, and the push to start new family traditions. The latter half of the episode transitions to the comedy world's fixation on Corey Feldman, including a discussion of the upcoming documentary “Corey Feldman vs. the World.” Throughout, the hosts and their crew riff on pop culture, roast each other, and deliver classic Bonfire banter, keeping the mood light, irreverent, and authentic.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

Thanksgiving Disasters and White Family Traditions

[06:01–16:42]

• Dry Turkey & Upside-Down Cooking:
  The group shares recent Thanksgiving misadventures, focusing on Bobby Kelly’s shocking “white in-law” feast where the turkey was cooked upside down.

  • Bobby Kelly: “They put the turkey in upside down.” [08:39]
  • Attempts to introduce a Popeye's fried turkey to the meal are rejected for being “too black.”

• Traditional White Sides Gone Wrong:

  • Sides included mashed turnips (“mashed up turnips”), uncooked cranberries, and “loose mashed potatoes”—all subpar, by the group’s comedic standards.
  • Danny: “You think on Thanksgiving you do it... but Thanksgiving, you gotta fucking mash up those potatoes.” [11:30]

• Misery Loves Company:

  • Other crew members (DJ Lou, Black Lou, Christine) relive their own mediocre or lonely Thanksgiving experiences.
  • Big Jay Oakerson: “There’s a point when you have a child, when you get your own house where you have to start your own tradition.” [12:42]

• White Family Rituals:
  Jay relates poor white traditions from his Boston upbringing—like stockings and “just toast for breakfast.”

  • Big Jay Oakerson: “It was poor white trash Boston shit.” [13:17]

Family, Kids, and Making New Traditions

[13:28–16:26]

• Jay recounts making Christmas special for his son, Max, including the story of getting him a saxophone at the last minute to keep the faith in Santa alive.

  • Big Jay Oakerson: “He goes, ‘You guys don’t have to believe, but I believe Santa could still get me a saxophone.’” [14:21]
  • Max uses this against his dad—“maybe you guys don’t believe in Santa’s magic anymore, but I do” [15:29]

• Discussion on the importance of forming your own family rituals once you have kids and your own space:

  • “That way you do everything you like and everything you don’t like, you eliminate.” [12:44]

The Comedy Scene’s Obsession: Corey Feldman

[24:08–37:01]

• New Documentary – “Corey Feldman vs. the World”

  • The crew examines the trailer for a Corey Feldman documentary and reminisce about their own history following Feldman's wild journey, both on- and off-stage.
  • Danny: “It seems like it’s almost anti him, even though he’s in it.” [25:20]

• Insider Access & Longstanding Jokes:

  • Jay reveals he has “spies” for Feldman news. [24:34]
  • Nostalgic nods to “angels” (Feldman’s all-women band) and specific characters like Jezebel Sweet, who’s featured in the doc.

• Comedy's Relationship with Feldman:

  • The Bonfire crew lays claim to early, dedicated “Feldman-watching,” joking that now entire podcasts are devoted solely to Feldman.
  • Danny: “Now there is full-on podcasts just about Corey Feldman exclusively.” [28:52]

• Unpacking the Doc’s Production:

  • A hilarious but surprisingly sincere breakdown of the doc’s credits, speculating who’s involved, whether Feldman has any creative control, and dreaming up ways to throw a group watch party with fans.

Pop Culture, Van Halen Debates, and Signature Banter

[29:42–41:29]

• Van Halen vs. Van Hagar:

  • Heated (but tongue-in-cheek) debates about the merits of the Van Halen and Van Hagar eras, using song references and classic rock fan references for comedic effect.
  • Big Jay Oakerson: “Van Hagar had hit after hit after hit.” [30:05]
  • Danny: “Van Halen. Van Hagar made songs for Blue Angel planes to fly over to.” [30:25]

• Favorite Concert Memories:

  • Reminiscing on attempts to touch musicians at concerts, particularly Jay’s antics at a Corey Feldman show.

• Advertisers & Off-the-Rail Jokes:

  • Jokes about ad targeting, personal vibrators (“get your clit together”), and other irreverent observations on modern life—often spun out in signature Bonfire fashion (eg. riffing on commercials for dildos, PrEP, air conditioning, and targeted social ads).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bobby Kelly:

  • “They put the turkey in upside down.” [08:39]
  • “I offered the Popeyes turkey. You know you can get a turkey from Popeyes? Got shot down.” [10:40]

• Big Jay Oakerson:

  • “There’s a point when you have a child, when you get your own house where you have to start your own tradition.” [12:42]
  • “He goes, ‘You guys don’t have to believe, but I believe Santa could still get me a saxophone.’” [14:21]

• Danny:

  • “Corey Feldman vs. the World... it seems like it’s almost anti him, even though he’s in it.” [25:20]
  • “Now there is full-on podcasts just about Corey Feldman exclusively.” [28:52]

• On traditions:

  • “That way you do everything you like and everything you don’t like, you eliminate.” [12:44]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:01–16:42] Thanksgiving food disasters & white in-law horror stories
• [13:28–16:26] Forming new family/personal traditions
• [24:08–37:01] Corey Feldman documentary breakdown, Bonfire history with Feldman
• [29:42–41:29] Concert stories, Van Halen discussion, irreverent banter

Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, quick-witted, and laced with the crew’s trademark blend of genuine nostalgia, savage roasting, and pop culture savvy. Listeners are treated as insiders to the crew’s running gags and are welcomed into the world of real-life comedy family dysfunction, with a heavy dose of holiday-season honesty.

Summary

If you haven’t heard the episode, expect a relentless, honest, and bitingly funny take on the realities of family holidays—the kind where the turkey’s wrong, the sides are worse, and your only refuge is starting new traditions (or just riffing about it with your funniest friends). The second half’s deep comedy-nerd dive into Corey Feldman’s career and upcoming documentary is an inside-baseball treat for comedy fans and pop-culture junkies alike. As always, it’s The Bonfire—brutally honest, sometimes just brutal, but always hysterical.

End of Summary