Thursday Night Lights

Summary

The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode: "Thursday Night Lights" — September 12, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire is a classic, unfiltered hang with hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, joined by their crew and recurring contributors. The main thread is Jay’s hilarious obsession with outfitting his Dodge Ram with “rock lights”—underglow LED car lights synched to music. This launches the show into a raucous journey across topics including car customization for grown men, the macho-diva line in automotive aesthetics, rivalry with a surly installer named Sam, football fandom, male cheerleaders, and the absurdities of American subcultures. As always, the vibe is high-energy, irreverent, and packed with personal anecdotes and ball-busting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jay's Rock Lights Saga (01:08–38:16)

• The Dilemma: Jay debates whether to go see Nine Inch Nails or hang with friends for a podcast taping. This transitions into his real-life drama: installing colorful rock lights on his truck, which leads to a sustained riff about male adulthood, car culture, and masculinity.
• The Enemy: Jay describes his encounters with Sam, a muscled, tattooed, standoffish installer at Sound Waves in Fairfield, NJ, turning their contentious dynamic into comedic gold.
  • "He's never been nothing but standoffishly nasty to me." – Jay Larson [14:08]
• The Legality & Utility of Rock Lights: The group debates (to much laughter) whether it’s even legal to drive with colored lights in New York and New Jersey, and who Jay is hoping to impress:
  • "I'm getting so much pussy at the mall, it's gonna blow your minds." – Jay Larson [15:43]
  • "Dude, for a guy who lives with a woman, you say the silliest shit sometimes…You just said, 'I want a white truck so I can have pink underneath.'" – Bobby Lee [17:13]
• Installation Debacle: Jay and Bobby develop an extended bit about whether magnets or drilled brackets are the superior way to install the lights, re-enacting a hypothetical confrontation with Sam, and whether it’s worth risking damage to Jay’s "dream truck."
• Tinkering Credentials: Bobby tries to prove mechanical credibility by describing how he fixed his son’s e-bike, while Jay remains skeptical.
• Crowdsourcing Opinions: The crew checks Yelp reviews for Sound Waves, cracks up at negative reviews mentioning bubbles in window tint and shoddy installs, and spitballs about hiring a TaskRabbit or GeekSquad/Best Buy to do the job instead.
• Masculinity & “Gayness” of Car Lights: Jay and Bobby riff about the fine line between “badass” and “fabulous” when it comes to personalizing cars, with Jay self-deprecating about being a middle-aged man doing light shows with EDM in parking lots.

2. Comedy Bits and Crowdwork (03:12–08:51)

• Stuttering and Fart Jokes: The episode is laced with riffs that mock Drew Lynch’s stand-up stutter and recall the hilarity of stuttering crowd work, culminating in classic fart story during a family wedding.
• Juvenile Humor: Fart stories are compared to stuttering as surefire comic gold, to which Jay adds:
  • "Fart and stuttering are on the very same level of holy funniness to me." – Jay Larson [06:11]

3. Football Fandom, Thursday Night Plans, and Cowboy Controversy (53:39–56:55)

• Thursday Night Football: The group debates who’s coming over for Jay's football night, with running jokes about not inviting certain friends and friendly trash talk about the Cowboys and Eagles.
• Bandwagon Fans: Bobby and Jay debate why the Cowboys have such a broad national fanbase and speculate about the psychology of sports loyalty.
  • "Why are you a… I have a cousin Tj you’re also an Eagles fan? Grew up in Philly." – Jay Larson [55:35]
  • "If you’re from New York, Boston, Philly…you have to be the fan from that place." – Bobby Lee [55:39]

4. Male Cheerleaders, NFL Culture, and Gender Roles (57:00–68:51)

• NFL Male Cheerleaders: A deeper (hilarious) discussion erupts about the rise of male NFL cheerleaders, why the NFL embraced them, and how it’s changed the culture.
  • “Here’s the problem: cheerleaders are to entice dudes completely. For sure.” – Jay Larson [59:42]
• History Lesson: The origin of cheerleading is traced back—surprisingly—to men, before WWII and women’s involvement.
  • “When men went off to World War II is when women took over cheerleading.” – Jay Larson [69:13]
• Cultural Change: The group jokes at length about how the growing visibility of gay men and changing gender roles in sports/cheerleading “mean nothing anymore” when you say you’re dating a cheerleader.

5. Other Classic Bonfire Topics

• Musical Interests, Relationships, and Cars: Subplots include the members teasing Christine’s (Jay’s partner) forbidden access to the car’s light show, and Bobby’s running riff about wanting a “bento dessert box and a swim in the pool” as payment for working on Jay’s truck.
• Auto Fix Tactics: Lighthearted debates about DIY vs. professional installation, crowd-sourcing labor, and the hazards of dealing with “those guys” at specialty shops.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "There's not one man on earth who’s ever asked, 'Do you have lights that go to the music?'" – Bobby Lee [10:54]
• "You’re a metrosexual. You’re a pioneer, that’s why I love you, dude." – Bobby Lee [11:10]
• "Are you going to pick one light for every mood?" – Bobby Lee [15:32]
• "You are going to be outside the Stand with your rock lights, smoking a cigarette for no reason, just hanging out." – Advertiser [37:13]
• "The problem is my truck is red, so there’s only so many things are going to look awesome underneath it at night." – Jay Larson [17:38]
• "If you’re not throwing girls around by their pussies and assholes, then you deserve your father to not love you." – Jay Larson [59:03]
• “When do women get involved [in cheerleading]?” – Bobby Lee [68:51]
• "When men went off to World War II is when women took over cheerleading. And then everybody was like, oh, I’d rather look at these chicks' titties bouncing around than a bunch of old men." – Jay Larson [69:13]
• "Do you leave the key in the car?" – Bobby Lee deadpanning during the Mexican parking garage riff [48:05]
• “It turns out now…maybe it’s because it’s gay.” – Jay Larson, on why more people don’t get rock lights [51:04]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:08–38:16] — Jay’s Rock Lights Saga: from purchasing, installer drama, legal issues, to installation plans and debates (including initial laughter and plans for “blinking around” in mall parking lots).
• [03:12–08:51] — Comedy crowdwork, stuttering, and fart stories.
• [37:10–38:16] — Christine’s forbidden access and Jay’s resolve never to show Christine the lights.
• [53:39–56:55] — Thursday Night Football plans and Cowboys fandom debates.
• [57:00–68:51] — NFL male cheerleaders, history of cheerleading, shifting gender roles.
• [67:17–71:41] — History of cheerleading and personal cheerleading stories.

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Original Tone & Style

• Irreverent, Playfully Cruel, and Self-Deprecating: Both Jay and Bobby roast each other, themselves, and their friends. There’s a constant back-and-forth of ball-busting, sarcastic digs, and absurd confessions.
• Intimate and Relatable: The show’s humor is rooted in genuine friendship, mundane modern complications, nostalgia, and shared insecurities—whether about trucks, masculinity, or social circles.

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Conclusion

This episode is peak Bonfire: a meandering, deeply funny group therapy session for comedians and comedy fans, where mall car lights, childhood trauma, professional frustration, and pop culture all blend into one of the funniest conversations you’ll hear about growing up and not growing old. If you’ve ever wanted to install questionable gadgets on your car, been intimidated by macho service guys, questioned your football loyalties, or just need a generous shot of self-aware, unfiltered banter—this is an essential listen.

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Transcript

[Advertiser]

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[Grainger Representative]

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[Bobby Lee]

Of what you need.

[Grainger Representative]

Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Jay Larson]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby Lee]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Jay Larson]

Sorry, everybody. You caught us right in the middle of me trying to convince Bobby. This is a fun little Terminator timelines thing where maybe he went. Maybe he went.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe I did it.

[Jay Larson]

But it's Thursday now, as you're listening to this and we don't know yet if he's going to. To see Nine Inch Nails tonight because he has to hang out with Danny Braff.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not. That is not. That is a. That is bringing it down to its.

[Jay Larson]

He wants to hang out with Danny Braff and his.

[Bobby Lee]

Joe Russell.

[Jay Larson]

And Joe Russell.

[Bobby Lee]

Zach. I don't know his last name.

[Jay Larson]

And then our. And then our corrupt skin Dr. Dr.

[Bobby Lee]

G. Dr. G. I got to meet Dr. G to get my. Dude. I'm getting. I'm getting Wolverine juice tonight, right? But after that, I have a. I have a podcast.

[Jay Larson]

With who? Who's the guest?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you the guess.

[Jay Larson]

I'm gonna smash them down.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. I mean, dude, there.

[Jay Larson]

They should know that you're choosing them over Nine Inch Nails.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a pretty hot show. You ready?

[Jay Larson]

It's probably the last time nice nails.

[Bobby Lee]

Ever gonna be around Nathaniel McIntosh. Dude, Jay, I'll say it again. You didn't hear me? Is my mic. Can you make me hot? Apparently it's not Nathaniel McIntosh.

[Jay Larson]

Nathan.

[Bobby Lee]

That guy Nathan or Nathan. What? I call him Nathaniel.

[Jay Larson]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Nathan McIntosh. And. And dude, of course I can't cancel him. Lamar Lee.

[Jay Larson]

Who?

[Bobby Lee]

Lamar Lee.

[Jay Larson]

You want to try that again?

[Bobby Lee]

Lamar Lamar.

[Jay Larson]

There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

La Mer Lee who? I don't even know this Guy.

[Jay Larson]

Yes, you do. He's been on the show with us here.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Advertiser]

He actually loves the bonfire.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually like him too. He's a good guy.

[Jay Larson]

You know, the mayor is Teddy Bear.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[Jay Larson]

I don't know if you did.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm playing the game.

[Jay Larson]

I'd like to believe you don't know who. Lamar.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's the fan.

[Jay Larson]

I'm calling him Lamar. Lee, you should from now on.

[Bobby Lee]

He likes to be called Lamar.

[Jay Larson]

I didn't know that about him.

[Bobby Lee]

But his grandmother called him Lamar. That's who the name came from.

[Jay Larson]

I didn't know you guys were so close. I apologize.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. His grandmother. Grandma Sissy.

[Jay Larson]

Grandma Sissy.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you met Grandma?

[Jay Larson]

I didn't.

[Bobby Lee]

And of course we have the famous Drew Lynch.

[Jay Larson]

Drew Lynch.

[Bobby Lee]

Drew lynch, who somehow learned how not to stutter after he got popular enough.

[Jay Larson]

To have to do an hour. Could always. We could all fucking fake stutter through 15 minutes. Bob and Bob, Bob and Bob and Bob and Bob and Bob and Bob and Bob. Black dick. That's how I would sound. Have you. Have you ever. Have you ever f, F, F, F, F, F. Have you ever f, F, F, F, F. Have you ever f, F, F, F, F, F. The black guy? Have you ever. The black guy, Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Stuttering crowd work would be hilarious. Stuttering crowd work would be my favorite new comedy.

[Jay Larson]

Look, look, look, look, look. Look at. Look, look, look. Look at this guy. Look at this guy right here. Where do you. Where'd you get that shirt? Where'd you get that? Did you get that shirt from Marshalls? Hurt.

[Bobby Lee]

Stuttering.

[Jay Larson]

I'm sorry, Drew. I'm just trying to get my friend to come to a concert. A once in a lifetimer.

[Bobby Lee]

I think Lamar is one of.

[Jay Larson]

Lamar. Oh, Lamar. We're going to see Grandma. Sissy, I apologize.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude. It's okay, man. You didn't know.

[Jay Larson]

I'm an idiot.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't be. You didn't know.

[Jay Larson]

I didn't know. I'm not in the inner circle.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this? We call him Lemaire. For you. Let's just do that because Grandma says he's dead.

[Jay Larson]

Would you stuff for me?

[Bobby Lee]

How are we doing that for you? Of course I would do that.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, it was a test. Grandma says he's been dead.

[Bobby Lee]

She's dead. She's been dead for a while. You didn't know that?

[Jay Larson]

I didn't know that. No.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's okay because me and Lamar, we go and see her once a year down in. You know. You know where North? No, it's not north. It's south.

[Jay Larson]

South of Illinois.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. So we go down. Yeah, we go down to the graveyard.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And we, we say hi.

[Jay Larson]

Dance on her grave.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we don't dance.

[Jay Larson]

She molested both of you. I heard.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, that's. I mean, it's part of the culture.

[Jay Larson]

Dance on. Grandma says he's great.

[Bobby Lee]

It's part of the culture. It's not molestation when it's voodoos.

[Jay Larson]

Southern voodoo.

[Bobby Lee]

Southern voodoo molestation.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. Everyone's an adult in the voodoo.

[Bobby Lee]

He is one of the nicest guys ever. He's on the show tonight. I got Drew lynch and I got.

[Jay Larson]

Did you ask me if he's okay working with a black guy?

[Bobby Lee]

It's so funny that he, he just doesn't stutter anymore.

[Jay Larson]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's got a smoking hot wife.

[Jay Larson]

Sure, maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe that's what did it.

[Jay Larson]

You think? His wife?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, his wife. Just the stutter out of magical poon.

[Jay Larson]

Juice that just cleared his throat up.

[Bobby Lee]

She sucked it out of him.

[Jay Larson]

Thank you. Yeah, he's like, he's like, oh, I'm exploding in your mouth. Wait, I didn't stutter. My stutter's gone.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right, baby.

[Jay Larson]

You should punch him in the throat today, see if he gets it back. See if you reset him.

[Bobby Lee]

If you suck him off and then spit it into his mouth. He stutters again.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. The jizz holds the stutter.

[Bobby Lee]

Just stuttering to me is the greatest. The funny one of the fart and stuttering I think are on the very same level of holy funniness to me.

[Jay Larson]

I prefer stuttering.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't smell right, but a well placed fart. I remember we're at my, my cousin Ally's wedding. One of the prettiest weddings I've ever been to on a farm in Sandwich, New Hampshire. Both sides of the family there. I mean, rolling clouds with sun.

[Jay Larson]

It was that where sandwiches started.

[Bobby Lee]

Not the sandwich? Yes, there was a sandwich that was.

[Jay Larson]

Started in sandwich, but not the sandwich. Not the idea of sandwich.

[Lou Black]

Earl of Sandwich.

[Bobby Lee]

The Earl of Sandwich was started there. Yes. I don't get there. Yeah, it was there.

[Lou Black]

The sandwich.

[Jay Larson]

I thought Earl of Sandwich was a. I thought it was a. I thought it was a Canadian place.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's New Hampshire in this. No, I don't know, dude. I don't know.

[Jay Larson]

The Earl of Sandwich. The Earl of New Hampshire.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't know whether to take a left or right there, so I just went with both.

[Jay Larson]

I was. I was completely believing everything you were saying.

[Bobby Lee]

I was like, oh, we were at this wedding, buddy. It was. I. I hate weddings. This wedding. I was like. I was looking up and it was on, like, there was this beautiful pond right there. And she's beautiful, he's beautiful. Both families look great. Little Max, he was in a suit. He looked like a little gangster. Right. And apparently Max got sick, and we didn't know he was sick. And he. Right when they brought the bride and the groom together, Max. Max let out a fart that was orchestra really worthy, dude. It was so loud and dry. It was a loud, dry. Like a trumpet that went on for, I would say, 10 seconds, which in fart life, that's three hours.

[Jay Larson]

Like a cheek vibrator.

[Bobby Lee]

It. And he really, like, it was on a metal chair. Wow. Which it. It just. Just went through the whole crowd.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And you could tell that their side of the family was a little uptight. And the Dawnlands were hilarious because my family was laughing so hard, and they. And their family was looking over at us like, hey, guys, knock it off. But the more that they looked at us, mean, the more we laughed. So it was just like, you know, you laugh at a funeral when you're not supposed to laugh.

[Jay Larson]

It was. How old was Max?

[Bobby Lee]

He had to be five.

[Jay Larson]

Was he embarrassed or was he like, nailed it?

[Bobby Lee]

No, he was sick, dude.

[Jay Larson]

We had.

[Bobby Lee]

Right after that, we found it at a temperature of 103. We had to take him to the clinic. We had to leave the wedding. He was sick? No, he got the flu or some.

[Jay Larson]

A beautiful wedding.

[Bobby Lee]

It was. It was a beautiful wedding for an hour. And Max farted his.

[Jay Larson]

Farted it out. I like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, dude, it was great.

[Jay Larson]

Can I tell you something funny? I just thought about. This is.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope you do, because this is a funny show.

[Jay Larson]

It is a comedy show.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope. I hope it is funny. I hope you continue to tell me funny stuff, because that's what we do.

[Jay Larson]

I just realized this will be airing on Thursday, and as we speak, Yeah, I have my appointment for that time.

[Bobby Lee]

You're getting your vagina checked again.

[Jay Larson]

I'm getting my vagina checked. No, I'm getting the lights from my enemy. The lights on my truck. Remember I told you about my enemy at the. At the truck light place.

[Bobby Lee]

You're getting.

[Jay Larson]

Asked me how old I was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because you wanted lights on your truck.

[Jay Larson]

Now with that first. I wanted lights on my truck. He wasn't too questioning about that. He was just kind of nasty.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

When I said, do you have lights that go with the music playing the car. He asked how old I was and then said he's never heard of that. Can I tell you something? I had to go in today. I went in today, this afternoon to swing by because they said, bring it back for the ones that I got.

[Bobby Lee]

You got lights on your truck?

[Jay Larson]

I bought the lights.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you buy lights that go in the brakes?

[Jay Larson]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

So it lights up the wheel?

[Jay Larson]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. What color lights? You can make them any color.

[Jay Larson]

Any color.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no.

[Jay Larson]

But I didn't get them attached. I bought them, and then that's what I do. They just. They just install them. You have to buy them. Yeah, so I bought them. They got to the house, I called, and the guy on the phone said, we're still contentious, me and this guy. To give a little recap, if you recall, when I first went, yeah. This guy walked in, I was like, I'm gonna get lights in my truck. He's like, okay, yeah. And I was like, what are those called? Anything. Just, like, the lights and the wheel wells and on the bottom stuff. He's like, yeah, Rock lights.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

He's like, we install them. We don't sell them. And I was like, okay, that's cool. And I was like, and they can do all different colors? He's like, yeah, they're led. They can do whatever colors. And then I was like, now, this is a weird question. Do you have it where it goes to, like, if you have music playing, like, it'll, like, do to do the music. And he went, how old are you? And he wasn't being funny. He was being mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I went all logical or logical or manly?

[Jay Larson]

I said, very possibly manly. This is not. Not manly, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have lights that go with the music?

[Jay Larson]

Is not asked if he has lights to go to music.

[Bobby Lee]

There's not one man on earth who's ever asked that question.

[Jay Larson]

There is now. And I. I went in. And I love that.

[Bobby Lee]

You always do. You're the first to do a lot of things.

[Jay Larson]

He was, like, a pioneer.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a pioneer. You are, dude. That's why I love you, dude.

[Jay Larson]

You're a metro heterosexual.

[Bobby Lee]

The first guy to be rock and roll.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, Christine, go to the ones I got. And Mike, tune M I c T U N I N G. Oh, my God. And look it up on YouTube. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So after you said, how old are you? Did you tell him your age? How did you lie?

[Jay Larson]

I said 13. I said, I'm 47 years old, and I didn't have money as a Teenager to do this.

[Bobby Lee]

You opened up to him.

[Jay Larson]

I opened up to him. It didn't matter. Contention. He goes, well, let me see the truck. So we went outside. This is months. This is two months ago.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm 47 and I didn't have a girlfriend. I spent a lot of time in my tummy watching tv, eating snacks. And I really didn't have a stable father figure, so.

[Jay Larson]

So off all those things are. And I love musicals, and I love. Come on, Bobby. Come on, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

I love musicals.

[Jay Larson]

Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jay Larson]

That's the company. That's the things I've got right there. You're seeing a picture of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Now, he asked me if it. You put lower. Lower for a second. Lower for a second. You're burying the lead.

[Bobby Lee]

These are going to be awesome during Christmas.

[Jay Larson]

It's going to be so awesome during Christmas.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's going to be great.

[Jay Larson]

But I said, they. The guy said he's never heard of it doing music before. And I was like, okay. So I got rock lights, brought him in. He goes, oh, no, I'm sorry. When I called when I got them, he goes, yeah. He goes. He goes, well, I said. I go, what brand do you remember telling me to buy? Because I don't know if I got it or not. And he tells me, whatever the brand go, oh, I got these other ones. He goes, I'm sure it's fine. And I was like, okay. I was like, so can I make an appointment, I guess, to come in and do him? He goes, first you got to come in. We can make sure we could do it. So, like, let's get that appointment going. And I'm like, all right. And then we made an appointment for today. I went in today, and when I was done, they said. So I went in there and I said, hey, I got the lights. And guess what? They go to music if you want.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you do a little dance after you did that?

[Jay Larson]

No. Because he wanted to go. He went, yeah. And then I start. And then he's so unimpressed with that. I went, yeah, I guess just like a little microphone that's in it. So, like, it just goes with it. I was like, apparently, like, if you talk while it's on too like that, if that mode is on, if you talk, it'll move to your voice also. And he was like, cool. So I could do Thursday or Friday. And I went, Thursday early. Yeah. And I went, how much does it cost? He goes, 150 hour installation. And I was like. And I was told it takes like 34 hours. He was like, give or take.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, God, this guy sucks.

[Jay Larson]

But I want him to do it so bad. I'm with this guy now. He's my enemy. Sam. Sam over at Sound Waves.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Why is he. He's one of those guys.

[Jay Larson]

Fairfield, New Jersey. He's jacked.

[Bobby Lee]

Is he jacked?

[Jay Larson]

Older and jacked.

[Bobby Lee]

Does he have a sleeve tattoos?

[Jay Larson]

Oh, yeah. Two sleeves of tattoos. And his polo. And his polo shirt. Hugs where his shoulder hits the bicep, you know? I mean, where it comes in a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

We do. Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

I want him to do it. He's. He's never been nothing but standoffishly nasty to me.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope you become friends with him.

[Jay Larson]

Me too.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope you guys hope he wants to come, you know, come over your house one day and just sit, by the way, not talk.

[Jay Larson]

The other little guy who works there. Not little guy, but just the other younger kid who works there, is very, like. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, those will be cool. He was even going like, yeah, probably. It's like a microphone, I think, just picks up the sound and. But, yeah, so we can install this at all. And me and him are just looking at each other almost like, what's up, dude? What's going on? That's me and the other guy. Yeah, me and that guy's like, you good, man. You good. I'm dealing with him today now. And he came in. He's like, I still got to install it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, man. All right, so you're gonna roll down the street with music playing and the lights going to the music.

[Jay Larson]

Play it, Christine. Now you can play it. Look at this. Come on. To the song. This song exclusively.

[Bobby Lee]

This is the J theme song.

[Jay Larson]

Guys, don't act like you don't think this is dope, as. I mean, Bobby, you're gonna want to see them now. Christine has laughed so much of these that I've informed her I can't. Christina's laughed and made fun of these so much that I told her, I will never show them to her. I will never run in her presence.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Jay Larson]

The only thing I'll ever do is. I'll put on. I'll put on a twist of evil colors so when she comes out, I'll make her laugh and I'll go. And the car is just gonna blink like a fucking lunatic. Fuck you, Christine.

[Bobby Lee]

So let me ask you a question. Are you gonna pick one light to go like, every mood?

[Jay Larson]

Look this up. I believe legally you can only do the white in the wheel well when you drive.

[Bobby Lee]

So when you drive, you can do the white in the wheel.

[Jay Larson]

But when I pull up in front of anybody I know and put on a song and stand there and stare at them while my car blinks around me, think of how dope that's gonna be. Dude, I'm getting so much pussy at the mall it's gonna blow your minds.

[Bobby Lee]

But who do you know? Who do you know that you're gonna drive to and pull up to the house?

[Jay Larson]

18 year old girls.

[Bobby Lee]

You think 18 year old girls are gonna be into this?

[Jay Larson]

They're gonna be in the car by the time I'm done. That's why I got a pickup truck. Let them jump in like day work.

[Bobby Lee]

Let them smoke. Girls get in.

[Jay Larson]

I guess I'm gonna get him cigarettes and booze.

[Bobby Lee]

I got cigarettes and candy in the car.

[Jay Larson]

I mean, by the way, this is the part of the documentary where they go. He joked about it and then he did it. Jay was found with 15 year old girls in his trunk.

[Bobby Lee]

But does this have any? Does this have any what? Does this have any? Does it do anything that's can help you out or is it just. Is it just.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it just silly looking or is it, does it do anything?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, Bobby, look at what it's doing. Turn it up.

[Bobby Lee]

But what, what does it do? Like, does it add anything?

[Lou Black]

When you're doing your strip, strip mall parking lot hang, Bobby, it makes you the center of attention.

[Bobby Lee]

So it just lights up the wheel wells. It doesn't light up the bottom of the car.

[Jay Larson]

Bottom of the car. Like if you drop something front bottom.

[Bobby Lee]

If you drop something under the car at night, you can't just flip the lights on. It lights up the whole bottom.

[Jay Larson]

Of course it would.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, look, but you can't in New Jersey and New York. You can't have.

[Jay Larson]

Oh my God, I love that so much. I wish my truck was white so I could have pink underneath.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you for a guy who lives with a woman, you say the silliest shit sometimes.

[Jay Larson]

Why? Because I want the truck for a fucking. For my super sweet 16.

[Bobby Lee]

You just said truck. You just said I want a white truck so I can have pink underneath.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, look at it, Bobby. Don't think it doesn't look dope as shit.

[Bobby Lee]

You say when you're transitioning. That's transitioning code. I want my penis chopped off so it can look pink.

[Jay Larson]

The problem is my truck is red. So there's only so many things are going to look awesome underneath of it at night.

[Bobby Lee]

Like what?

[Jay Larson]

White? For sure, red. Red will look Great. Also, yes, red will look awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

White will look crazy. That. That pink, though, that's. That's. That's a little too feminine right there. The white and the pink.

[Jay Larson]

Well, I'll use the. A variety of colors when I come down the street to my EDM tunes that are making my car go nuts. Oh, is that Jay? That must be Jay coming down. Oh, there's that disco ball car.

[Bobby Lee]

Woo. Yeah, but you can only do it for a couple minutes because you're 47 and you'll get tired.

[Jay Larson]

I want to get out of my car.

[Bobby Lee]

Out of breath.

[Jay Larson]

I'm gonna get out of my car at every stoplight, every. Every red light. I'm gonna get out and pump. But you won't have evidence of that unless I film myself because Christine's literally one. Once the lights are on, she's not allowed in the truck.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Jay Larson]

Because she's gonna get curious and she's gonna flip the switch and I'm gonna tell her she can. She can't see these. I'm not gonna show her how they work.

[Advertiser]

I don't know why she can't experience the lights. Just because I think it's funny.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you it's funny. Something you never had growing up. Consequences.

[Jay Larson]

She thinks it's lame.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you have consequences. Now you learn.

[Jay Larson]

That's. Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

She's laughing.

[Advertiser]

I thought it was really funny.

[Jay Larson]

You're laughing at me, not with me. I don't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Jay, it's fine.

[Advertiser]

I did always want a boyfriend who drove a truck.

[Jay Larson]

It's a two. Listen.

[Bobby Lee]

You wanted a boyfriend who drove a truck and took it in the butt.

[Jay Larson]

Christine's got. Christine's got a car for a reason. She cannot and no longer will be welcome or allowed in my car. Oh, can you put smoke machines underneath? Is that what's going on there?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Advertiser]

I can't wait to take a video of me driving it around when you're on.

[Jay Larson]

I can't put smoke blasting the lights. You can't put. What are you gonna do?

[Advertiser]

I'm gonna drive it around blasting the lights when you're not home.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, I'll take them both. Keys in the road with all our female.

[Advertiser]

Hide the backups.

[Bobby Lee]

With all our female silly songs that she has.

[Jay Larson]

I'm. Oh, my God. Do not embarrass me by cranking Fiona Apple.

[Advertiser]

Tori Amos.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, my God. Could you imagine that dyke rock coming out of my car while this awesome thing is happening?

[Bobby Lee]

She goes by all the places that you hang the stand There's Jay. What?

[Jay Larson]

What's he listening to? Why does he have all of his rock lights?

[Bobby Lee]

Is that Sinead o'? Connor? What's going on, Jacob?

[Jay Larson]

Stop acting like you don't think this is awesome. Jacob thinks black, Lou. You definitely think it's awesome.

[Keith Robinson]

Oh, hell, yeah. I'm all into this.

[Jay Larson]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Jacob, how would you get into that truck? Sorry.

[Jay Larson]

Well, I'll tell you what. He'll be able to see the ladder I put because of the lights.

[Lou Black]

Same way you will, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, relax.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, my God. Look at it go. Is there any. Is there any music playing on this one?

[Bobby Lee]

But you can't use it, huh? You can only use it when you're parked.

[Jay Larson]

No, you can't drive in New York. We didn't even look.

[Advertiser]

No, I did look.

[Jay Larson]

And what'd it say?

[Advertiser]

No color in the wheel wells.

[Jay Larson]

Not at all. But white could be there.

[Advertiser]

Let me check.

[Jay Larson]

So I can never turn them on ever.

[Bobby Lee]

This is hilarious. If you can't use this because it's illegal, buddy, I'll.

[Jay Larson]

I will. I'll spend all of my life pulling up to my friends places with that blaring. I'm gonna become a neighborhood problem.

[Advertiser]

You can't have flashing lights at all.

[Jay Larson]

What?

[Advertiser]

You can't fl. So, no, you can't drive in New York or New Jersey flashing the lights.

[Jay Larson]

But can you drive with the light? Solid color.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

[Advertiser]

Let me see if you can do solid. I think solid white and amber directed at the ground.

[Jay Larson]

Ask if rock lights. Ask if rock lights are legal. Just look up that. Boom, boom, boom.

[Bobby Lee]

Are they called rock lights?

[Jay Larson]

They are. I know that now because the guy yelled it at me.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you yell it at you.

[Jay Larson]

Though? Remember the guy from the place, Sound waves? He's just nasty to me, and he told me these things. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you like one of those lights called. He's like. They're rock lights.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Jay Larson]

He's like, rock lights. Yeah. Like, kind of like that. Also, I said this. I watched so many videos about it before I got him one guy who installed them. This is how quick I bailed with him, how much he gets me nervous. And we get like. Then we go, like, start bumping chests too much.

[Bobby Lee]

You like it, though?

[Jay Larson]

I think I like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you like it.

[Jay Larson]

I think I fucking like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you like. Because you know what? You're sick of guys just giving into you.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You want a little fight?

[Jay Larson]

You know what, guys?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what you're sick of Josh saying Yes, sir.

[Jay Larson]

I like. Sir, I like this guy's fight. Well, here's what I said. One guy, one guy who did a review of the ones I bought goes in his video. He goes, and I'm telling you guys, the magnet connectors are. If you. If you can get it. Because I put a link in the description to them, which I clicked on and got it. It goes cheap. They're like, it's like 20 bucks, 30 bucks for like magnet connectors you can use that are like. Instead of having to drill into the underneath body, it's way better. And when I called the guy at first to make the appointment for today, when the guy called me back and I was like, yeah. I go, I also watched a video that says, like, to use the magnet connectors for. To put them to the car. He goes, I've never heard of magnet connectors. And I go, so you just like, drill it right into the body? He's like, yeah. Do you want them on the car they're going to be drilled in? Yes. And I was like, sure, drill into the body. That's fine. I gave up on the mag. I gave up on magnets.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude, listen to me. Do not drill into your fucking truck.

[Advertiser]

Find somebody that's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Christine, go to this places, Yelp, and let's see, drink.

[Bobby Lee]

Bring the magnets. Dude, do the magnets so you can take them off.

[Jay Larson]

He said not to, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Fuck him. He wants to do the drilling so that when you go back, you're going to have to undrill. And dude, a magnet. Just pull off.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, man, but, dude, Sam said no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's Sam?

[Jay Larson]

The guy.

[Bobby Lee]

You know his name?

[Jay Larson]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's telling you.

[Jay Larson]

I have his card. He gave me his car.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to listen, man. You can't. You do the magnets. Buy the magnets and bring them. Say, I want you. This is what you say. Ready? Watch this. You be Sam. What's up, man?

[Jay Larson]

Hey, yeah, yeah, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Listen, I got the magnet package. I want you to install the magnets, install the lights, but I want you to use the magnets.

[Jay Larson]

I've never installed magnets.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but it's directions. It's right here. You can figure it out. You're a smart guy.

[Jay Larson]

All right. It might take me a few more hours.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Budd, Rock and roll. I work hard, I make some money. Do your thing, kid. Probably might take you less because it's magnets. You don't have to drill.

[Jay Larson]

I feel like you have to drill a magnet.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop being Jay.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Go back to Sam.

[Jay Larson]

Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

You spineless.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. I'm gonna drill into the bot. I know how to do it one way, and I do it the way I do it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but you're gonna do it this way. I want to do it this way.

[Jay Larson]

You're gonna come into my place and tell me how to do it this way?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll just go to another place, brother.

[Jay Larson]

Go to another place.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, cool. I'll go to another place. Thanks.

[Jay Larson]

No, but let me do me now. After that part, I. I go. It's gonna take longer. Now I want it. I want it now. I want it now. I want it now.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, Veruca. What's her name? Her name is. I want an Oompa Loompa. I want lights under my truck.

[Jay Larson]

I want it now. I want it now. I've wanted it for weeks, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't get. You got to get the magnets. You can't have this guy drill. He's drilling into your car. I guarantee. Make some mistake, and then you go, do you know this truck? They changed the thing on the thing. So I can't drill with this needs. So I'm going to have to get the adapter, and the adapter is going to cost you extra money, and that's an extra hour to do that. Dude, magnets leave this guy. Go somewhere else.

[Advertiser]

I wonder if I could, like, find somebody on, like, thumbtack that would just come to the house and do it with magnets.

[Bobby Lee]

The fuck is thumbtack? Like, don't ever bring shit up. Like, we're supposed to know what thumbtack is.

[Advertiser]

It's like. Like just a handyman search engine.

[Jay Larson]

Christine. Look and see. Look and see. And then also go to Sound Waves in Fairfield, New Jersey. Let's check if anyone else says, this guy is nothing short of awesome. I feel like I'm the problem. I'm going in. I don't know anything about any of this.

[Bobby Lee]

Bike stores, music shops, and car places because they're. They know their shit. They're dicks. You ever go to Sam Ash? They're. Hey, man, I'm thinking of getting an amp. What kind of amp? A lot of amps. Well, I'm trying to do this. What do you. What? Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

If you go. I'm new to this, and I don't know what somebody needs a little bit. They're like. They're already.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you're not in a band. You want to learn an instrument at 50?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing.

[Jay Larson]

Great reviews.

[Bobby Lee]

They love this guy.

[Advertiser]

I mean, overall, it's like three and a Half.

[Bobby Lee]

Do they have a picture of him?

[Jay Larson]

Oh, maybe. Let's go through the pictures.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What if he just doesn't like you? What if it's personal? What if he's a fantastic guy?

[Jay Larson]

It's very possible.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to go get my lights on my car. I'll get lights on my car and I'll go there.

[Jay Larson]

Christine, go on thumbtack now and see if you can find somebody who can attach. Who can hook up rock lights to it. There's no way magnets.

[Bobby Lee]

It's mag. I bet you could do it. How could you not do it? How do you not to be able to do it?

[Jay Larson]

It's not like that. I think you still have to connect the magnet things. It looks like.

[Bobby Lee]

I think the magnets have this thing and they connect to the thing and they catch. Then you just. You stick the magnet.

[Jay Larson]

No, I thought that too. I thought it was gonna be more like magnet on one side that connects to the car. Magnet on the other connects to the light. It's not like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Why don't you pay me to do it? I'll do it.

[Jay Larson]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll do it.

[Jay Larson]

What do you need? How much do you charge?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll. How much is he charging?

[Jay Larson]

They're buck 50 an hour.

[Bobby Lee]

You get me one of those fucking little bento dessert boxes. Yeah, you get me one of those when I start and you get one when I leave so I can take it with me.

[Jay Larson]

Okay, I'm in.

[Bobby Lee]

That's all I need.

[Jay Larson]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

And I get to take a little swim in your pool.

[Jay Larson]

And you can take it. Swim in the pool? For sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Naked.

[Jay Larson]

But Bobby. Absolutely. All these. Bobby, you can with me naked. Here's the problem. You know as much about cars and installation of stuff as I do.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you, you're wrong. Yesterday, Max came in. He goes, there's a. He has a E bike. Electric, electric bike. Dad. E10. Keep saying E10 on the screen. I go, that's Era 10. Okay, we'll look up Era 10. Okay. Era 10 is this. It's the box inside. I go, go get your mother's. We have two of the bikes, same bikes. Go get your mother's bike. I took the electrical box inside of the E bike that connects all the stuff to the actual battery. Took it all out, unplugged everything, undid all the wires. Took the one out of his mother's bike, put it in the new one. Bang, boom, fixed.

[Jay Larson]

Do you describe changing the battery?

[Bobby Lee]

Not the battery, the electronics. Inside there's a box inside there's the battery. Then there's the box on the other side. So you have to unscrew all the screws, and then you have to take that out, unravel all the wires, take the wires, unplug them all, take that out of the whole frame, and then do the same thing to the other bike and then reinstall everything.

[Jay Larson]

Now, are you aware that you all live together? And he could have just rode Dawn's bike for a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Don's bike has a flat tire. I don't know how to fix that. I don't think. I don't know nothing about that.

[Jay Larson]

Dylan's bike has a missing rubber grip for the. For the handlebars, and I couldn't even guess where you could find one.

[Bobby Lee]

Her seat's too high. I don't know how to put it. I don't think about those things.

[Jay Larson]

I got deep electronics, though.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I bet we could do this.

[Jay Larson]

No chance.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's take a chance. So what are we gonna do up your electronics in your truck?

[Jay Larson]

Let's meet the business owner. No, Sam's not one of the owners.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course he's not.

[Jay Larson]

This one. Route 46.

[Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

I don't know how many sound waves there are.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, there's a. There's a bad review right there. Go back. Where? Well, isn't that the reviews? There's one. One star.

[Advertiser]

There's a lot of one.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to the one. Click on that. Yeah, there you go. No, doesn't it bring you there?

[Jay Larson]

It did not.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, there you go. It does. Yeah, it does. Sam's a dick.

[Jay Larson]

I'm writing an updated review of the tint I had done here. I'll start by saying the manager at Sound Waves was really awesome. Hey, Vinnie was beyond helpful with all issues.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the kid.

[Jay Larson]

Haven't dealt with Vinnie. Yeah. Unfortunately, good management doesn't do anything about poor product installation.

[Bobby Lee]

That's him. You're done.

[Jay Larson]

Tint looked okay, but a few days later, I began to notice a lot of bubbles.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, bubbles.

[Jay Larson]

Second attempt went to pick up the car after it had been redone. Once I got home, I looked the windows. More bubbles. Picked up the car again. Notice that only the driver's side window tint was replaced. The passenger was the same. Fourth attempt went to pick up my car again. Didn't even say anything about how the pat. Christine. How the passenger side still looked bad because I was already frustrated. All right, this is Tinto. This isn't rock lighting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's easier, probably. I mean, he's putting wires together this.

[Lou Black]

Name Sam somewhere there.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you really?

[Lou Black]

Yeah. I don't know if it was a page be back, but I definitely saw Sam.

[Bobby Lee]

Damn it.

[Advertiser]

Well, if you saw it on the page back, it was on a five star review.

[Jay Larson]

Damn it.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't waste your money.

[Jay Larson]

I had a few things done with them in the past and never had an issue. But a few months ago when they hired Bird's Eye View on my car, the image quality was terrible. So I called them and told them it was best for this to be uninstalled. They said bring my car in. And after it was removed, I was informed that there would be a charge for removing it. The product was terrible. How could you. How could they charge to remove something they installed and was horrible. They will try to nickel and dime you for everything. Don't waste your money.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep. Yikes. Sam is gonna hit you big.

[Jay Larson]

Brought my 99 crv. I'm not even wasting my time on the rest of this. Get that shit out of here. Made it abundantly clear why some small businesses deserve to go under. Asked for a quote for to replace a head unit on a car system. 400 installed for a model that can do Apple CarPlay 220 installed for a Bluetooth mode. Okay, I'll take the ladder. Which is the ladder?

[Lou Black]

The second one.

[Jay Larson]

Second one. So he went with the 220.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you just tell him which the ladder is?

[Lou Black]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Was he lying?

[Bobby Lee]

No. It's true. But you didn't know the ladder.

[Jay Larson]

I always forget when someone says that. I just always agree and never fully ask what it is. And then I learned by what happens next. Yeah, Someone goes, I choose the ladder. And then I just wait and watch what happens next. I go, oh, that one.

[Bobby Lee]

I've done that. That's funny.

[Jay Larson]

I'll choose the ladder.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jay Larson]

Now what?

[Bobby Lee]

You'd be a good game show host. The latter. Okay. Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, so that's like. So you don't like one of them. Right. You want to choose the other one. Came back to a whopping total of 600 plus claiming he never offered those prices.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, this is all Sam.

[Jay Larson]

Go to Best Buy. Go to Best Buy. They say this is all Sam. It's probably all same.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Jay Larson]

They quote 4,000 overpriced for no reason. 4,000 for eight speakers in one drove to SAM. That's a different place. Sam Sound got it done for 500. Where's Sam Sound?

[Bobby Lee]

That's probably Sam's brother.

[Advertiser]

Have they given you a quote?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, I told you 150 an hour.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not a quote.

[Jay Larson]

Could take four to six hours.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's not a quote. That's an estimate.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, no, that's what it is. Per hour.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but he's saying he's not giving.

[Jay Larson]

You a quote of how many hours.

[Bobby Lee]

He's saying. Maybe he's giving estimate. Maybe four to six hours. Might be this, might be that.

[Jay Larson]

Give or take.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the quote is, dude, it's gonna cost you this much. Yeah, yeah, he's. And it's always going to cost you the latter. You think Sam's gonna work harder and faster. So you save. So you save some money so that old dingleberry boy will be able to drive around with his lights on.

[Jay Larson]

Am I dingleberry boy in the story?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what he called you.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, it probably is.

[Bobby Lee]

I would never call you that.

[Jay Larson]

It probably is. I'm surprised the guy doesn't give me a swirly and like a wet willy when I'm there.

[Bobby Lee]

I love that he calls them rock lights. They're disco lights.

[Jay Larson]

They're called rock lights.

[Advertiser]

Disco. I wish I could give this company a0 and put them out of business.

[Jay Larson]

I had a reverse camera installed, purchased the camera and took it there so they can install it. Oh, that's what I'm doing.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you really?

[Jay Larson]

Yes. I bought the thing on. Yeah, but the lights on Amazon.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jay Larson]

And then that's what they said to do your truck.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I say something about your truck too that people don't know? This is the like for. I'm a truck guy, but a truck guy since 1919. Right. And this is the truck that I've always wanted. 2019.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, this.

[Bobby Lee]

I was like 2019.

[Jay Larson]

Are you a vampire?

[Bobby Lee]

I abbreviated a date and I shouldn't have since 1919.

[Jay Larson]

19. No, the probably said 1919. That's of me. 1919.

[Bobby Lee]

What if I just started floating?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How did you know? Jay, Now I must kill you, buddy. So your truck is the ultimate of trucks. The. The Dodge Ram in this version of it is every truck guy's dream truck. It is the. The. The holy grail of trucks because it was the first one with the vertical huge screen. It has all the everything you could want in a truck. He has.

[Jay Larson]

And now it'll play lights when I play that song from Revenge of the.

[Bobby Lee]

But all the other stuff is not gonna work because gonna cut into whatever wire and not figure it out.

[Jay Larson]

Sam.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you're rolling the dice.

[Jay Larson]

Yes. Blackley, your thoughts?

[Keith Robinson]

One of the comments said that you should go to Best Buy and I agree.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Does Best Buy Install rock lights.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah, I just looked it up. They do.

[Jay Larson]

Shut up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Keith Robinson]

What you do is you sign up. I'm gonna sound like a salesman here, but sign up for their program. Total tech thing.

[Jay Larson]

Have it already, then. Good.

[Keith Robinson]

Everything will be warranted. So if it breaks, you take it back.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that truck, dude.

[Jay Larson]

That's the truck.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's like. That's that, Dude, That's Lexus Prices. That is like the ultimate truck right there. And you're going to fuck it up by giving it to Sam.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't do it. Don't do it. Go to Best Buy, dude. Cancel.

[Jay Larson]

I don't know. Best Buy could do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, now you do. We solved the problem for you, bro. And go get those magnets. Let them do magnets. I bet you Best Buy, you're like, hey, I want to do the magnet, dude. Magnets are better. Absolutely. Do the magnets. He's not gonna be like, they're what magnets? I never heard of that.

[Jay Larson]

Best Buy install rock lights. For real. We're sure you looked it up.

[Bobby Lee]

How come, you know, how come you trust Sam? You don't trust us?

[Jay Larson]

Hmm.

[Bobby Lee]

How come you trust Sam, but you don't trust us?

[Jay Larson]

Because I. Well, I don't want to trust you guys in this one. I mean, I want to, but why I don't is because I wish. You guys know how many times I've just driven aimlessly around to just Googling places like auto customization? I don't know where to go or what to do. And every time I walk into another place, they go, yeah, dude, we do, like, exotic car wrapping and, like, shit like that. I'm like, do you. Do you have blinky lights with music under the car? And, like, what? Like, no. And I'll be like, where do I go? Then they go, I don't know. And then they send me away. And then I look up another place, and then I go to. And then I ended up at Advanced Auto Parts, and they were like, we have them, but no one here. I go, do you install them? They go, what?

[Advertiser]

So you're also like, yeah, you're Googling something where you didn't know the name yet. So now if you're, like, Googling like, hey, does it. Can you install rock lights? Like, it says it right here. And if Geek Squad's gonna protect it.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, go, hey, guys.

[Advertiser]

Not nice to you.

[Lou Black]

It seems like a Best Buy type installation.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's a Best Buy type of thing.

[Lou Black]

Yeah, it's a little light.

[Bobby Lee]

Little blinky lights under your Truckee truck. Yeah, that's a Best Buy thing. That's it.

[Jay Larson]

I'm so upset.

[Lou Black]

Experts of rock light.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the disco lights. I bet you.

[Jay Larson]

The rock lights.

[Bobby Lee]

I bet you Geek Squad would be like, yeah, they'd probably dance with you. They probably have you pick it up past eight so they could all dance in the parking lot with you.

[Advertiser]

Oh, yeah, they'll demo it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, they'll demo.

[Jay Larson]

Hang on. Oh, is this Jay coming down the street? You think this is gonna be the first song I do if.

[Bobby Lee]

But what sucks is you can't. You can only. You're gonna have to drive, park, do your little. Do your little thing.

[Jay Larson]

You could leave the solid lights on. It said.

[Bobby Lee]

But you can't do. You can't do the music.

[Jay Larson]

No. Not while driving.

[Bobby Lee]

So you. You. So you. You'd have to park, play the song, do your little show your little.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, I'll probably be smoking everywhere I go. I'll be smoking one more cigarette in my car to let people know what's up. What. Christine, say something shitty.

[Bobby Lee]

I just realize it's not going to affect your life.

[Jay Larson]

You'll never see it.

[Advertiser]

You're totally going to be outside the stand with your rock lights smoking a cigarette for no reason. Be hanging out.

[Jay Larson]

I think they're called rock lights.

[Bobby Lee]

We want to call them J Lights.

[Jay Larson]

Christine's never going to. I promise you on my life, I'm.

[Advertiser]

Going to see him. You're going to want to show me.

[Jay Larson]

Not for a second.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you are. When you let me ask you a question. You're going to get them and the person, you're going to drive home and not. Not let her see them.

[Jay Larson]

Correct.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait a minute. You're gonna get your disco lights and you're gonna drive home. And you're not gonna want to demo them for somebody right away like Christine. You're gonna patiently wait till the next night because it doesn't work during the day. You're gonna wait till the next night and you're gonna have to wait. Like, you're not gonna be able to show me until, like Christmas.

[Jay Larson]

I'm gonna go park.

[Bobby Lee]

Gets darker.

[Jay Larson]

I'm gonna be like a teenager. I'm gonna go park in a parking lot somewhere the night that I get them.

[Bobby Lee]

Please don't.

[Jay Larson]

And I'm gonna blinky light around the parking lot just to show my. So I can see. I'm gonna learn it all. Nowhere in Christine's eye. Light of line of vision.

[Bobby Lee]

But how are you gonna see it? Are you gonna put like a tripod with Your phone on it where you can see yourself do it.

[Advertiser]

Do you need to drive around?

[Jay Larson]

Oh, no, no. I'm just gonna get out and, like. I'm not gonna drive around. I'm gonna get out and do a little demo for myself in a parking lot so I can see what the lights do.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait a minute. So there's gonna be the potential of some kids hanging out. And then a guy's gonna pull up in a tr. Wristbands and it'll die his hair. And he's gonna. He's gonna get out of the truck and they're gonna be, what's this guy doing? And he's gonna start playing this song. And then the lights are gonna go off around the truck and you're gonna be dancing outside your truck.

[Jay Larson]

Well, I do just realize now my fingernails neither painted nor is my hair dyed. But I should correct both of these things before the weekend if I'm gonna be in the car blinking down the road.

[Lou Black]

Who's the narcissist?

[Jay Larson]

This guy doesn't even have red hair or painted fingernails anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you gonna really do that?

[Jay Larson]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

I hope you get caught.

[Jay Larson]

Am I gonna get the lights?

[Bobby Lee]

I hope you. You gotta get the lights.

[Jay Larson]

I know that, but they're in my car as we speak.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I. I mean, I can't believe you're not gonna show Christine the first night you get him.

[Jay Larson]

I'm not gonna show her ever, ever. Never, ever. I swear to God.

[Bobby Lee]

What if she begged you?

[Jay Larson]

She won't. She's going to in, like, her own way where it's gonna be. Oh, come on. Just let me see him. I don't care. I don't give a fuck.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. You can. You can change them.

[Jay Larson]

It's all an app.

[Bobby Lee]

You can change them every color of the rainbow.

[Jay Larson]

Bobby, you want these in your truck. And you have a gray truck, which is a good truck color to have lights underneath of it. Oh, yeah.

[Advertiser]

Versatile.

[Bobby Lee]

Why is it. Why is it good?

[Jay Larson]

Don't ask Christine. She thinks they're the stupidest thing in the fucking world. Why is it goodbye? Because. Look, right there. Turn it up. Come on, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't get those.

[Jay Larson]

The fades.

[Bobby Lee]

I like the fade. The fade is cool.

[Jay Larson]

Today's show is sponsored by Better Help. Hey, who do you go to in order to solve your life's problems? Group chat over sharing with a bunch of strangers like a weirdo. There's a difference between that and actually talking with a therapist. That's where Better Help comes in. With clinically trained and licensed therapists. They've been around for over a decade. They've helped millions and out of 1.7 million client reviews, they've got a 4.9 rating. That's pretty good. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time. It's fully online and you can pause your subscription whenever you need to. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people with a 4.9 rating. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of Expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp, our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Bonfire. That's better. H E L P.com Bonfire everybody. Have you noticed that everywhere you go it seems like prices are going up? They keep saying it. The grocery store, your cars, your appliances, everything is through the roof right now. Wouldn't it be nice if prices would go down? Well, at Metro they've got your back. They've lowered their prices and are giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you also get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, Visit metro by t-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number. Not available. If currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guaranty covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. Details at metro by t-mobile.com Guys, you know running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need and they're all so expensive and since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo. That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing, websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software so you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it, right? But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's o d o o odoo.com ever.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Jay Larson]

It's so cool. Black Lou, you're so hyped.

[Bobby Lee]

I do like. Let me tell you something, yo.

[Jay Larson]

Let's leave your family behind and let's go cruise the Willowbrook.

[Keith Robinson]

Dude, I used to have this. You had them in your car a long time ago.

[Bobby Lee]

What kind of car?

[Keith Robinson]

It was 95 Honda Civic.

[Advertiser]

Perfect.

[Jay Larson]

My friend Glenn. You guys remember Glenn that cost less?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Jay Larson]

Well, you guys remember Glenn. Glenn from the infamous. His his girlfriend's fake cousin came to the show. Remember we called Glenn on the air Glenn when he was young. Me and him both had the same car at one point. 87 Honda Accord hatchback. Glenn got these lights. They were just called at the time strobes all he got and he had two of these installed under his car that he had the tires widened and he had the body dropped a little bit. Glenn and me were roughly similar weights. He was a little smaller than me but we got in that car and the first day he goes, let's go show these cool lights to our friend Little J. Little Jay lives in a neighborhood that was. It's not a lot of stop signs. So it was. They made this. All the streets are basically speed bump at the end. It's like every street comes down to like a point. And then. So you have to go slow. It didn't matter. We did go slow over the humps. Slow enough to hear our fat asses just go. Just cracked them the first night he had them. We cracked them fat. So I bought a truck. So it doesn't matter how fat we are. Those lights are gonna be blanking. Bobby, come on, dude. Act like you don't want these.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's the thing, though.

[Jay Larson]

Go on.

[Bobby Lee]

That truck is really hyped up. Pumped up. The shocks are really. I don't have that on my.

[Jay Larson]

It's raised. But either is mine. Neither is mine. Mine's not high raised up or anything.

[Bobby Lee]

That's raised.

[Jay Larson]

I mean, that one's raised for sure. Actually.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually don't like it that much. Raised up seeing all the.

[Jay Larson]

Me either.

[Bobby Lee]

Hijinks.

[Jay Larson]

Me either. I just like. The lights will be coming out.

[Bobby Lee]

How much is it for the. The. The. The booby dupe lights?

[Jay Larson]

The lights themselves. Yeah, look it up. Crazy cheap.

[Bobby Lee]

How much?

[Jay Larson]

Like I get that thing where I start getting nervous about things when they're like, cheap enough that you're like, shouldn't this be more expensive? I thought it was going to be like a 900, like 600 to like, thousand dollar thing to get. Now the installation is going to be more. It seems unless I don't go to Sam. I'm still on the fence. I don't go to cancer. He's gonna freak out. Oh, yeah, that's the ones I got. They got the 12. So. Yeah, it was like 120 bucks delivered. Yeah. It's weird how cheap they are.

[Bobby Lee]

Are these rock lights?

[Jay Larson]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Like rock and roll. Is that what it's supposed to.

[Jay Larson]

No, no, no. I think like rock. Like rocks on the ground. Rock lights.

[Bobby Lee]

I believe is what it means because I did take. I got lights for my tiny house up at the. All the rocks. I have all these big glacier rocks on my property. And I got lights to light up all the. These. These type of.

[Jay Larson]

We got in a black electrician to do that. It's gonna come light up our house like that.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, mine were real rock lights.

[Jay Larson]

Actual rocks that project light.

[Bobby Lee]

There were lights on rocks.

[Jay Larson]

On the rocks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Yes. This will be lights for me. Thumping Sick ass EDM tunes outside of the stand. Where else do I go? Probably for a second when I pull into the parking lot or when we're pulling out of the parking lot in the winter here, when it's dark when we get. Or when it starts getting dark around like four when we get in.

[Bobby Lee]

So you're gonna.

[Jay Larson]

When I pull into the parking lot here, just for the little Mexican guys over the parking place, I'm gonna give them a little zap and they're gonna go. Do you leave the key in the car?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Jay Larson]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Did you leave the key in the car?

[Jay Larson]

How cool is this?

[Bobby Lee]

I can. Did a key in the car?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. What? Turn it up. Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

What time. What time you come back? What?

[Jay Larson]

They're called rock lights. No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

It's okay. What time you come back?

[Jay Larson]

Sam said that you can only play them to the music when you're.

[Bobby Lee]

Bandeo gringo, pasta la lofes.

[Jay Larson]

Yes. Black.

[Keith Robinson]

Lou, you can't go magnets on these.

[Jay Larson]

Huh? You can't go.

[Bobby Lee]

Mag. What happened to you? What's going on with him? I think you got magnets on your microphone.

[Jay Larson]

Now. I can't hear it at all.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. No, his cord fell out. He has magnets on his butt. What does that. Is that a. Is that a. A radio term? No, I just heard like. Don't get. Don't get the magnets, Jay.

[Jay Larson]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Don't get the magnets.

[Jay Larson]

Get the magnets.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. He's saying the magnets on the microphone are bad. Are you back?

[Keith Robinson]

Am I back?

[Jay Larson]

Yes.

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Lou Black]

Have you ever seen that happen before, Lou? Because I haven't.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a new one.

[Keith Robinson]

That's a new one.

[Jay Larson]

What happened?

[Bobby Lee]

What happened?

[Lou Black]

I mean, there's a click that should never. The mic cord just disconnected from the mic. It just fell to the floor while he was talking.

[Jay Larson]

Virtual impossibility. I would have said we better get.

[Bobby Lee]

All the stuff we can possibly get out of this place. I'm. Everybody's getting lights on their thing. Never see that before. Jay, Jacob, we're gonna get you lights for the train. You take rock lights.

[Keith Robinson]

With all the potholes in New Jersey, the magnets are sure to shift, and that'll mess up how the lighting looks. I want it drilled in so it's sturdy.

[Jay Larson]

You're right.

[Bobby Lee]

You know they're gonna be drilled in. That'd be funny if it was in the back of his car.

[Jay Larson]

By the end of the winter, the magnet ship react. It's all uneven.

[Advertiser]

You're gonna go right back to Sam.

[Lou Black]

Sam Was right.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you. Is that a thing you read? Is that. Or is it something that you had? You had the magnets.

[Keith Robinson]

There's just pros and cons on it.

[Jay Larson]

I've been. And it's. He's right. There is a lot of like jerking around, trying to avoid a deer or a pothole in Jersey.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I do love that. I love. I love looking up the pros and cons. I'm a big fan of the pros and cons videos. We did that with the. We got that ghetto Jacuzzi, the blow up Jacuzzi. And I went through all the pros and cons of every. This is what a piece of shit I am, though. Our Jacuzzi cost $250, but I loved it so much, I started looking at like the best blow up inflatable Jacuzzi just to move. It's $3,000.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I just get a Jacuzzi.

[Lou Black]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, it is. I mean, they're more than that Jacuzzi, but that's still a pretty expensive thing for. But I'm with you. I do the same thing. It's like, all right, fine, we can't get like the thing everything, but I should get the top of the line. That's almost my concern with this. I'm like, these are just right lights. Do you know what I mean? Like, how much I'm like. But I was like, the light set. I was like, well, it's probably like a. I'm just thinking, why does not more people have them? I guess it's because it's gay.

[Bobby Lee]

You know why?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. It turns out now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Because guys who own trucks use them for jobs that guys need trucks for.

[Jay Larson]

I got a job to do. I got to bring entertainment to the people.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you don't need a truck. Me and you. Well, I need a truck because I have the tiny house.

[Jay Larson]

I don't even know what you're talking about right now. That truck we brought home. What did we bring home that one time, Christine? A grill.

[Bobby Lee]

You need the truck for the umbrellas?

[Advertiser]

We need it.

[Jay Larson]

That was one trip, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

I love that you got a truck. I love my truck. My truck is disgusting right now.

[Jay Larson]

Does it sing and dance like mine?

[Bobby Lee]

No, because I. I don't think I'd have to sell my house to dodge bullets on the way to my house.

[Jay Larson]

Damn. I can't wait to smoke a joint with Jacob on the highway to those lights blaring, dude. Yeah. Wear such tight clothes.

[Bobby Lee]

You should go to fist fest with that truck.

[Jay Larson]

And you know What? I hate Christine's now.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you hate manly things, masculine things.

[Jay Larson]

Christine is. Christine's going through, looking at all the things, all the videos, and I'll tell you what's killing her.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Larson]

She loves it now and she's never gonna see it.

[Bobby Lee]

I tell you what she likes. She likes the white truck with the pink underneath that Miami. That. That does look a little cool. Yeah, but you know, you can get. You can get paint on your truck that changes color. Did you know that?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, you get. You get your, like with the sun though, kind of changes.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I think you can push a button. You can change it.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, it's like film, the films they put on and stuff. Yeah, maybe I haven't seen it.

[Bobby Lee]

How cool would that be? Just change your truck white and back to red and blue to the color of the whatever. Whatever you're in.

[Jay Larson]

Put that EDM back on. Dude, I'm trying to picture. I'm trying to get a mental visual of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? You're white. It's summer. Summer night. Coming home from the stand, you're gonna stop by the cellar and just add a Keith on the way.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, yeah, pink. Who's outside? Who's outside bobbing their head?

[Bobby Lee]

Keith's outside. He's walking over to the pussycat. He's gonna spot.

[Jay Larson]

Christ, that's gonna take forever. I gotta go before the cops stop me for these lights. Can't wait for Keith to come around the corner in 25 minutes.

[Bobby Lee]

He really is taxing.

[Jay Larson]

Son of a. Keith is so taxing.

[Bobby Lee]

To be friends with now you can't even say, hey, wanna go to lunch?

[Lou Black]

What time?

[Bobby Lee]

Ah, forget it.

[Jay Larson]

You know, hopefully as we speak here now, I'll be getting this rock lights installed by Best Buy. Perhaps, but also Thursday night you're coming over. You promised.

[Bobby Lee]

Coming over Thursday night. I can't wait. Now.

[Jay Larson]

Keith Robinson. Black. Lou Black.

[Bobby Lee]

Lou. Keith. Who else?

[Jay Larson]

Jacob said he'd possibly come. Yeah, it's going to be a football.

[Bobby Lee]

We're not inviting the guy who lives five minutes down the street from you. I mean, what the fuck does Luke.

[Jay Larson]

Give a fuck about football at all? Stuff like that.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, watching the game, cares about friends. I mean, I mean, I'm sure he likes conversation and food.

[Jay Larson]

I think it's an intensive football thing though, because Keith. Cowboys. Lou Cowboys.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I'm just coming to trash cowboy fans.

[Jay Larson]

Perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, just give up.

[Jay Larson]

I'm fine with that, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry. Just stop being a. You guys have the craziest the stadium and just nothing to show for you.

[Jay Larson]

Have a horrific owner.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, it's terrible. Dude. You guys nuts?

[Keith Robinson]

You can't cheer for the team that beat you guys in the Super Bowl. You got to come on this side.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I can cheerful. I can't cheer for the team that stinks. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not cheering for you. We need you, buddy.

[Jay Larson]

You guys, you can't ban wa. You look like a chick if you ban wagon the Cowboys.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's why I don't like. Because people like the Cowboys that shouldn't like the Cowboys.

[Jay Larson]

Correct.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't understand it. Like, people from Boston love the Patriots. Right? People from Philly love the Eagles. But everybody. There's all these people that like, like the Cowboys, and it doesn't make sense.

[Jay Larson]

Well, no, it's where you're from. No, people in Philly also, like, the second most loved team in Philadelphia for sure is the Cowboys.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Jay Larson]

Because your dad beat the shit out of you and he was an Eagles fan or something like that? It's just like a choose. It's like a. Choosing to be contrary.

[Bobby Lee]

Get molested in front of an Eagles game, it's usually brings out too much memories.

[Jay Larson]

I think that's what it is. It's choosing to be. It's like choosing to be contrary. I think.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know from Boston. We never. I never met a Cowboys fan, and all of a sudden I moved to New York and there's. Keith is a cop. It's like. It doesn't make sense to me.

[Jay Larson]

Why are you a. I have a cousin. Tj you're also an Eagles fan? Grew up in Philly.

[Bobby Lee]

Look, if you're from Seattle or from one of those teams, but if you're from a. Like New York, Boston, Philly, these teams, these are like historic places. You have to be the fan from that place.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, I disagree with being those. I think it should be any city you come from that has a professional team. You should become Die Hard, that team.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, but I'm saying. You're saying like. I'm saying get like someone in Seattle. But no, Seattle should be Seahawks fan. Hardcore.

[Bobby Lee]

I understand it, but I understand.

[Jay Larson]

Is this. The guy from TaskRabbit is gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

Seahawks are what kind of whatever. The Eagles are a team. You know what I mean? The Patriots, the Jets, the Giants. I look at those guys, I'm like, well, those, you know, the Redskins, whatever they're called now. The Commodores. What are they called now?

[Keith Robinson]

Commanders.

[Bobby Lee]

Commanders.

[Jay Larson]

Drunks.

[Bobby Lee]

For a team.

[Jay Larson]

Bunch of Canadian tuxedo wearing drunks.

[Bobby Lee]

Didn't Trump make the name back. Didn't even call them the.

[Jay Larson]

He said he wants to. Yeah, he's gonna call them engines.

[Bobby Lee]

He's gonna call him. Not those Indians.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Advertiser]

Why did Ari end up a Cowboys fan?

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be called the Washington. It's not the hello. Thank you, come again. It says a lot to get on a jersey, so it'll probably be an acronym. Probably gonna be.

[Bobby Lee]

What'd you say?

[Advertiser]

Christine, why did Ari become a Cowboys fan?

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. Exactly. Doesn't make sense.

[Keith Robinson]

I mean, they were on TV a lot. We were growing up. They were winning a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

They were winning.

[Jay Larson]

So was your home team.

[Bobby Lee]

But they're also Thanksgiving team.

[Lou Black]

The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, movies that were on tv, and that's why I felt I was into the team.

[Jay Larson]

Did you see you were a Cowboys fan at one point?

[Lou Black]

I'm just saying I knew the Cowboys better than every other team. I hadn't picked one.

[Jay Larson]

Okay. Did you watch the documentary yet, Lou?

[Keith Robinson]

No, I refused to.

[Jay Larson]

Why? Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Keith Robinson]

No, I. I hate Jerry Jones.

[Jay Larson]

It's like all about him.

[Keith Robinson]

Yes. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, he's. He's a crazy person.

[Keith Robinson]

He's a crazy billionaire.

[Bobby Lee]

He's like. He's literally out of his mind.

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's the reason they're not winning Super Bowls 100%. Right.

[Jay Larson]

He doesn't know how to treat his black players right.

[Bobby Lee]

Unlike Robert Kraft, who likes a finger in his butt and he likes winning Super Bowls. That's a man.

[Jay Larson]

And the greatest white quarterback of all time.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Christ. He really is.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah. Jerry sucks, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see that? The. It's so funny. They have male cheerleaders now.

[Jay Larson]

Oh, yeah, but I told you about this.

[Bobby Lee]

But not. Yeah, but not male cheerleaders. The guys that are strong picking the other girls up. We're talking working it. Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We're talking zesties.

[Jay Larson]

No, me and Christine. When me and Christine were at that one game a couple years ago when we first. When we first noticed it, and they do the little intros of the. We must talk about this when Bobby was out the week. Because I'm like. We did talk about this sort of, but they. The intros that have, like, you know, it's like Tara, Vanessa, Lisa, you know, all the names of the girls they turn around, like on the Titan Tron.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Before they do their routines.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

On the field. And then it would be like that. It's like. It's like Tara, Lisa Scott's really Vicious.

[Bobby Lee]

He whips his hips more than any girl.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, God. I mean, come on, guys, stop. Can we.

[Jay Larson]

And your father. And if you have a father. And if that kid has a father, he shouldn't be proud of him.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's not. He never goes to. He stopped watching football.

[Jay Larson]

If you're. If you're a male cheerleader who's not throwing girls around by their pussies and assholes, then you deserve your father to not love you.

[Lou Black]

Nobody asked for.

[Advertiser]

But I don't understand why this is such a big story right now. Because this has been going on for years.

[Jay Larson]

No one noticed it. Nobody noticed because nobody in Philly talked about it. Everyone was just pretending it wasn't happening.

[Bobby Lee]

I have to say, though, these gay guys move way better than these fucking lazy girls. Look at this guy. Holy shit.

[Jay Larson]

Well, you gotta remember, they're pioneers.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I mean.

[Advertiser]

I mean. Yeah, he's getting it.

[Bobby Lee]

He's getting it on right now. God damn his little skinny ass.

[Jay Larson]

For who?

[Bobby Lee]

How.

[Jay Larson]

Here's the problem. Cheerleaders are to entice dudes completely. For sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

I don't know if there's, like, a bunch of gay guys going to the thing that are, like, stoked on this.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, there's a couple players that were for this. I think there's a couple. There's a couple. Couple defensive linemen. Like, I like Gary.

[Jay Larson]

I know. It's so. He goes, I'm dating one of the cheerleaders. You go, not Steve. Right.

[Lou Black]

But this is my question, because I'm obviously nobody.

[Bobby Lee]

Why do you get hard?

[Lou Black]

Nobody asked for this. Nobody asked for this. Nobody wants this. Why did the NFL, of all organizations.

[Jay Larson]

I promise you, somebody asked for this.

[Advertiser]

Yeah, I think nobody asked for this.

[Lou Black]

Yeah, but no football fan asked for this.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you why.

[Lou Black]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Because they know cheerleading. Cheerleading is a big sport, college sport. I mean, they do those big competitions, right? And these guys. There's a lot of gay guys that get into cheerleading. No, that's not what I said.

[Jay Larson]

I think so.

[Bobby Lee]

But they have gay guys in it. But they. It cuts off. They can't go pro.

[Jay Larson]

Like the girls out of cheerleading. You heard of your first.

[Bobby Lee]

So now they're like, why can't we let, you know. Jacob. No, sorry, not Jacob. Use your name.

[Jay Larson]

Jacob.

[Bobby Lee]

Chris. Why Jacob.

[Jay Larson]

You'd be a good cheerleader, dude. I could zip you up in the air. You could do four flips before you land in there.

[Lou Black]

Nobody wants to.

[Bobby Lee]

Jacob is the perfect gay cheerleader. Guy named.

[Lou Black]

Nobody wants to see me do it.

[Jay Larson]

Be a high flyer.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, are you crazy? We all want to see it.

[Jay Larson]

Would you test out if I built a human cannonball machine in my backyard?

[Bobby Lee]

Can we do a cheer? Can we have you give. If we give you pom poms an outfit, will you do a chair at Skank Fest to open up the show?

[Jay Larson]

I won't. No. No, but you listen. You just have to wear a full cheerleader uniform with the bloomers and the whole thing. So wait, does that make it better? And someone goes, no, I don't want to do it. He goes, jacob, no, but we're going to put makeup on you and fake tits and have your wiener hanging out of the side.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think that now you think they're throwing dildos on the WNBA court? What? Do you think that. Do you think they're doing that here?

[Jay Larson]

The full ass. They're throwing the full asses.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they're throwing dildos. But he's snatching them up.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Roses.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, but the gay guys only have to get dark colored dildos. You don't have light ones because they'll come out with poop on them. I didn't know if I explained it with my suggestiveness. Oh, my God.

[Advertiser]

Meet the NFL's first male cheerleaders. It's five years old.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, okay.

[Advertiser]

And it was the Rams. It was la.

[Bobby Lee]

The Rams.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. Figures.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Of course they went there first. Jacob, settle down.

[Jay Larson]

Look at him.

[Lou Black]

Nobody asked for. The NFL knows. Nobody gives a about this. Why did they buckle when nobody else.

[Bobby Lee]

They can't. They can't. It's so.

[Lou Black]

Nobody cares.

[Jay Larson]

It's a wasted. I know. Here's why. Because, like, it wastes so much of their time when a headline comes out that they refuse male cheerleaders. Like, sure. All right, fine. Go cheer.

[Lou Black]

No, I don't think it's a matter.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I don't think. It's a different world, dude.

[Jay Larson]

It stirs up something.

[Lou Black]

It's reverted back. Nobody wants.

[Jay Larson]

It stirs up something. It stirs up something, though, that they just don't feel like dealing with.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, my pain, the NFL.

[Jay Larson]

And they don't care enough. They're on the sideline that whole game.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm putting a popcorn over my lap because old.

[Jay Larson]

The Eagles from Philadelphia. I went there once.

[Bobby Lee]

Hi.

[Jay Larson]

It should be illegals. So I say go birds and fly. Eagles fly. Coo coo like an eagle. I'll fly like a man. Throw, throw like a monster, as hard as you can. Devonte Smith has my heart and a romance. Can stop.

[Bobby Lee]

Tonight.

[Jay Larson]

Tonight. Tonight.

[Advertiser]

Maybe he likes the male cheerleaders.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, I thought he was one of them.

[Lou Black]

I mean, for the Eagles, for. Just for him alone.

[Bobby Lee]

I want the stats on gay players in the. The NFL did. What's the percentage? Who's out?

[Advertiser]

Are there any out gay players?

[Bobby Lee]

There's got to be.

[Jay Larson]

There was the one, right? Michael Sam?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There's got to be a couple. What's the percentage of gay. It's got to be. It's got to be up there.

[Jay Larson]

80%.

[Bobby Lee]

What if it was 80? Everybody's just. You go to the locker room to just suck it. And Tom Brady was the gayest?

[Jay Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Absolutely.

[Jay Larson]

All right, guys, line up after game. Kiss.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you think my skin's so young?

[Jay Larson]

Carl Naseeb and Michael Sam, just 2.

[Advertiser]

He came out in 20, 21. Retired. And Michael Sam made history in 2014 as the first openly gay player to be drafted by an NFL team.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody gives a.

[Advertiser]

And then there's two people that came out, but after they were done with football.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really? Nobody cares, huh? Nobody cares? No.

[Advertiser]

I bet people care. Yeah, I bet those players that do care and give.

[Jay Larson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Why do you think they care?

[Jay Larson]

Locker room.

[Bobby Lee]

What cares, man? It's awesome. Walk around and see a gay guy looking at you. Big hog. It's a compliment.

[Jay Larson]

You see, they have a different take on it, Bobby. I hear you. Yeah, but these black players are gonna have a bit of a different take on it. I feel like they're not gonna see it the way you see it.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's cultural differences.

[Jay Larson]

It's just cultural difference.

[Bobby Lee]

It's cultural.

[Jay Larson]

Damn, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

We have different barbecues and different tastes.

[Jay Larson]

In seeing hog as we speak right now. Thursday night, I'll be bringing back so much Philly food for you. And I'll have rock lights that you won't be able to see unless you take her. Drive with me away from the house.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? You won't. Can't we keep her in the backyard?

[Jay Larson]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? We can't lock. Don't you have dogs?

[Jay Larson]

She'll sneak around.

[Bobby Lee]

Doesn't Dawkins have, like, a collar we can put on her?

[Jay Larson]

And if I could tie to a pole. Yeah. If I could lock her to something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we can put a collar on.

[Jay Larson]

Her, but I'm worried that she's gonna see the lights blinking, like, around the house somehow.

[Bobby Lee]

She won't.

[Jay Larson]

I hope not.

[Bobby Lee]

She won't. Won't. I'm going to look.

[Jay Larson]

You're not allowed to look.

[Advertiser]

I'm going to look right at It.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll go down. We'll go for a ride.

[Jay Larson]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll go for a ride around.

[Advertiser]

You can't really see it when you're in the car.

[Jay Larson]

No, we're going to go somewhere and then what? What does nobody understand about this?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're getting out of the car.

[Jay Larson]

Everyone keeps saying, you're not going to see it. I'll never see it when I'm driving. It's.

[Advertiser]

You're going to park the car and turn it on the parking lot and just hang out around.

[Bobby Lee]

But you will. You will feel it from the stairs, from the people in the other cars.

[Jay Larson]

Dude, we're going to look so cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, there's a way of putting that, I guess, but, you know, I'm sure.

[Jay Larson]

You think we're gonna look.

[Bobby Lee]

We might have to fight our way through your neighborhood.

[Jay Larson]

What? Two guys. Two guys, average age, 50 years old, out there fucking listening to EDM in a parking.

[Advertiser]

Oh, can we please go to the golf course parking lot?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you should do.

[Advertiser]

Can we go to the country club?

[Bobby Lee]

You should go back to the place that installs this every night just before they close and just blare this. And your lights.

[Jay Larson]

You did it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

What's up, Best Buy?

[Bobby Lee]

No, go back to Sam just to annoy him.

[Jay Larson]

They did it with magnets.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, this is. I mean, who is that? A girl?

[Jay Larson]

Oh, my.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. That's a.

[Jay Larson]

Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a. That's a guy.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah, you see his huge flapping penis between his legs and his tiny little bikini shorts on the field, there's 71.

[Advertiser]

Male cheerleaders this year.

[Bobby Lee]

71 across. So it's. At some point it's just going to be half male, half female.

[Jay Larson]

Gross. That would be terrible. What a terrible thing.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. But. But cheerleading.

[Jay Larson]

Dating a word. Cheerleader means nothing anymore. Dating a cheerleader. I'm dating a cheerleader. So what is. Guys can do it now?

[Bobby Lee]

Where. Cheerleading. Where did it.

[Jay Larson]

It.

[Bobby Lee]

Where is its origins? What was it for? Do you understand? Like.

[Advertiser]

Like what was the origin leading cheers in the crowd?

[Bobby Lee]

But was it. Was it originally men that maybe did it? It might be men. You know, I don't think women were allowed to vote or cheer. Cheer. Back in the day, you could cheer.

[Jay Larson]

You could do all things that were acts of enticing men, which is what I would say cheerleading was.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they free bled back then. That was about it.

[Advertiser]

Oh, yeah, look, 1898, when Johnny Campbell led the first. A nice cheer.

[Bobby Lee]

It was a guy.

[Jay Larson]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I knew it was a guy. Yeah.

[Jay Larson]

Hang on.

[Bobby Lee]

And then. And later on, they made it women. When.

[Lou Black]

That's Ivy League. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They freed it up. It was dudes with those big horns would get the crowd going. And then when did they. When did they say, let's get some tits at TNA in here? That had to be like in the. Maybe the 60s, 70s.

[Jay Larson]

Here we go. USA Cheer has the answers to this.

[Bobby Lee]

There you go.

[Jay Larson]

The first known. Roll up. Christine, move over. The first known organized cheers and change that began what we know as cheerleading took place in Ivy League college sports.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta read it in an old timey voice.

[Jay Larson]

In the 1860s, you see, the first known cheer in the US was shouted from the crowd at Princeton University in 1884. Ray, Ray, Ray. Taga, taga, taga. Sis, sis, sis. Boom, boom, boom. Ah. Princeton. Princeton. Princeton. It was in 1882. Princeton University graduate Thomas Peebles took the idea to University of Minnesota. The cheerleading, as we know, was about to start. Ra ra ra ra. Ski. Hoorah, hoorah. Scroll up. Varsity. Varsity, Varsity, Minnesota. Good Christ.

[Bobby Lee]

God, we suck.

[Jay Larson]

When do get involved?

[Bobby Lee]

We sucked back in the 20s.

[Jay Larson]

There we go.

[Bobby Lee]

Just a bunch of corny white dudes.

[Jay Larson]

While women were. While women were permitted to be on.

[Bobby Lee]

Cheerleading, they got for black people. They got black people in gays naked. Cool. Now you can have lights on your trucks.

[Jay Larson]

Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Jay Larson]

I had no idea. This story, what, when men went off to World War II.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Jay Larson]

Is when women took over cheerleading. And then everybody was like, oh, I'd rather look at these chicks titties bouncing around than a bunch of old men going varsity, Varsity, Minnesota. Rah, rah, rah.

[Advertiser]

But don't you. For cheer, like, don't you think cheerleaders are also almost more for like. I guess I don't know how many.

[Bobby Lee]

Young girls are watching jerking off.

[Advertiser]

But no, I feel like the guys don't really care about the cheerleaders. But like, young girls will like, be like, oh, the cheerleaders are cool. Look, they're dancers.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I understand. In. In school, to be a cheerleader is almost like, you know, being a Pink Lady. You know, it's like a cool thing. I don. Actually got in trouble about this. I got in trouble on. Remember when we did the thing when we did yacht rock and we hosted and one of my things was like, I did Caribbean Queen, right from what's his name? Billy Ocean. And I was like, I always wanted to marry. I thought I was going to marry a Caribbean Queen. Instead I got a. A chubby girl from Everett and her brother who's a big dude, works at the correctional facility, called my phone and left a very disturbing message. It was like, called her phone and she sent it to me. And he was pissed that I said that. He was mad that I called her fat and Chubby from Everett.

[Advertiser]

She was a cheerleader.

[Bobby Lee]

She. Well, I did this my way. I called him and I was like, hey, man. I. He's like, hey, buddy. I. I bought. And he's total boss. And Bobby, I heard you there on the yacht. Yacht Rock station on Sirius. And you called my sister Chubby. Chubby girl from Everett. You wanted a Caribbean Queen. I don't really take kind to that. You're calling a chubby on the radio. And I go just Richie, really quick. She was a cheerleader, right? Yeah, she was a cheerleader. I go, where was she on the pyramid? He just started laughing. Goes, she was the bottom. But listen, the thing is, you make a point, Bobby. I got it.

[Advertiser]

I was killed to be the bottom of the pyramid. I want to be a cheerleader more.

[Bobby Lee]

Than anything in my life.

[Jay Larson]

Christine was too fat to be the bottom of the pyramid. I was.

[Bobby Lee]

She was on the side.

[Jay Larson]

Yeah. Holding a flag.

[Advertiser]

Broke for Pop Warner.

[Jay Larson]

Pop Warner? You were going to play football? No.

[Advertiser]

You're Pop Warner cheerleaders. My best friends were Pop Warner cheerleaders.

[Jay Larson]

I never even heard that. So bad I thought Pop Warner was always football.

[Bobby Lee]

When I first went to Don's house and I looked at that triangle, that. That cheerleading triangle and I just saw that little fat Polack on the bottom middle.

[Jay Larson]

Where am I at holding everyone's feet?

[Advertiser]

I'm in such a good bottom pyramid. The weight limit at this party at.

[Jay Larson]

Designer Shoe Warehouse we believe that shoes.

[Bobby Lee]

Are an important part of, well, everything.

[Grainger Representative]

From first steps to first dates. From all nighters to all time personal bests.

[Jay Larson]

From building pillow forts to building a.

[Grainger Representative]

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