Together We Conquer

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: "Together We Conquer"
Release Date: July 8, 2025

---

Introduction & John Mellencamp Discussion (00:00 - 01:36)

The episode kicks off with Big Jay Oakerson humorously referencing childhood nostalgia, mentioning "Fruity Pebbles" and the Flintstones to set a lighthearted tone. Robert Kelly then segues into a serious discussion about alcohol consumption, emphasizing moderation and the risks of excessive drinking. This segment highlights the duo's ability to blend humor with genuine insights.

Notable Quote:

• Robert Kelly (00:34): "Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks, a few nights a week, it can add up."

---

John Mellencamp's Health Scare (01:02 - 03:09)

The conversation shifts to John Mellencamp, with guest Luis J. Gomez sharing his knowledge about the musician's health issues, including a heart attack post-performance and his ongoing smoking habit despite health scares. The hosts mock Mellencamp's reluctance to change his ways, leading to a playful banter about smoking and its cultural implications.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Oakerson (01:36): "That's why he ain't got time for this."
• Luis J. Gomez (02:03): "Smithy and Snoop Dogg. Smoked weed. Like being both floors."

---

Attempted Smoking and Drug Jokes (03:17 - 05:25)

Robert Kelly encourages Jay to try smoking, leading to a comical exchange where Jay reluctantly participates, only to mock his inexperience. The discussion seamlessly transitions into exaggerated jokes about drug use, including cocaine and heroin, showcasing the hosts' improvisational comedic skills.

Notable Quotes:

• Robert Kelly (02:10): "Why don't you just try it? Light one up, see what happens."
• Jay Oakerson (04:22): "Keep in mind, this is only my third time even attempting."

---

Yurt Living and Land Ownership Fears (12:03 - 14:36)

The hosts delve into the topic of yurt living, debating its practicality and cultural significance. Robert expresses a desire to purchase land amid global uncertainties, humorously questioning threats to land ownership from foreign entities. This segment blends societal commentary with the show's trademark humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Robert Kelly (13:55): "I'm going to buy 60 acres up in upstate New York."
• Jay Oakerson (14:10): "You think Mexicans are gonna take your land?"

---

Liver King Exposé (15:05 - 31:18)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing the social media persona "Liver King." The hosts dissect Liver King's antics, including his ancestral living claims, extreme fitness routines, and erratic behavior. They highlight his public threats against Joe Rogan, his inconsistent persona, and the impact of his actions on his brand and followers. This segment is rich with comedic impressions and biting satire.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Oakerson (17:22): "His point was to inspire people to do it without steroids. Through showing you his body with massive amounts of steroids."
• Robert Kelly (19:14): "He looks pretty bad. His face looks pretty bad."

---

Fireworks Chaos and Personal Anecdotes (31:21 - 54:41)

Transitioning from social media figures, the hosts share personal stories about fireworks displays, both professional and amateur. They recount humorous and sometimes harrowing experiences with fireworks, emphasizing safety and the unpredictable nature of DIY displays. This segment intersperses laughter with relatable tales of community celebrations and mishaps.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Oakerson (34:37): "I saw Jim leave. We watched him leave."
• Robert Kelly (48:19): "He was lighting stuff off that like were bombs."

---

Mock Ad Segment: Body Brain Coffee Enema (55:00 - 61:07)

In a departure from their usual content, the hosts engage in a satirical advertisement segment promoting "Body Brain Coffee." They humorously discuss the concept of coffee enemas, integrating scripted lines that parody typical podcast advertisements. This segment underscores the hosts' improvisational prowess and their knack for integrating humor into unexpected topics.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Oakerson (58:05): "Can I coffee enema?"
• Robert Kelly (60:02): "He's just shitting while he's talking to Joe."

---

Closing Remarks and Final Banter (61:08 - End)

The episode concludes with playful banter about relationships, personal insecurities, and the peculiarities of their interactions. The hosts maintain their comedic chemistry, ending on a high note that leaves listeners entertained and amused.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Oakerson (65:08): "Build the rest in this thing showed up on Instagram earlier today."
• Robert Kelly (66:16): "It's a summer separation."

---

Conclusion

"Tanger We Conquer" is a quintessential episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, blending sharp humor with candid discussions on a variety of topics ranging from celebrity health scares to social media phenomena like Liver King. The hosts' chemistry and ability to navigate both humorous and serious subjects make for an engaging listening experience. Notable comedic moments, improvisational exchanges, and satirical segments provide a comprehensive snapshot of their unique approach to podcasting.

Overall Notable Quote:

• Jay Oakerson (01:36): "That's why he ain't got time for this."

---

Note: Advertisements and non-content segments have been omitted to focus solely on the main discussions and comedic exchanges.

Transcript

[Jay Oakerson]

When life brings the blah, Add more yabba dabba doo with some tasty fruity pebbles. Early morning meeting, blah. Someone brought the Pebbles. Yabba dabba doo. Run errands, blah. Head to the store for Pebbles. Yabba dabba doo. Fruity pebbles Less blah, more yabba dabba doo. Pick up pebble cereal today. Yabba dabba doo. And the Flintstones and all related characters and elements copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera. When work gets crazy, I like to stop by the bar after, have a few cold ones.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't drink at all until 4 o'. Clock. We limit ourselves to one bottle of wine a night. Excessive drinking has a way of sneaking up on us. A few drinks, a few nights a week, it can add up. And suddenly we're at greater risk for long term problems like heart disease, cancer, and depression. Reason enough to rethink to drink more at Rethink to drink more. No ha Initiative.

[Christine]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Robert Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You know, I read about John Mellencampy. Fascinating guy. The guy's old, salty guy.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I think he.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think he has one lung. Still has not given up smoking. But I think they said he had a heart attack right after he performed at Jones Beach. 20, 25 years. I was at that show.

[Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Luis J. Gomez]

And then, yeah, I was at that show when my aunt took me.

[Robert Kelly]

How's she doing?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Then I realized, and then I read that, oh, he had a heart attack right after the show or during the show.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's why he ain't got time for this. That's why when the audience goes, stop telling this made up horseshit, dumb story and sing the song. I know I'm leaving.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He gets furious. I think that effect.

[Jay Oakerson]

He walked off. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You can live with one lung.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but he still chain smokes. He smoked in the fishbowl. I loved it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because he believes in America.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nobody was gonna tell him not to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Smoke because he believes in America. Wait, John Cougar smoking or I can't smoke? Who's more important than a legacy of.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Serious Two people they never said anything to is John Mellencamp and Snoop Dogg. Smoked weed. Like being both floors.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man, that's awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what, dude? I think it's just commitment. Why don't you just try it? Light one up, see what happens.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Robert Kelly]

Do it. There you go. Do it on the thing. Put it in your mouth.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is this going to get me fired?

[Robert Kelly]

No, dude, you're not going to get fired. No. Do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sh.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on. Do it. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, wait. Come On. Dude, this is crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, you got it. You're. Listen to me. This is an original show. That serious made. This isn't something they bought. They're proud of this show. This show means something to them.

[Jay Oakerson]

That was all factually not true, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

You and Han Sota made this thing one of the most incredible shows on. On the network. Never mind. Light that up. Puff it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I can't, stupid. This is crazy. What are we doing here?

[Robert Kelly]

Who are you?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, John Cougar's telling me to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

He should do it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He doesn't.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no, no. He says authority always wins. That means I'm going to lose now.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Robert Kelly]

No, Is it? He played the wrong. He doesn't.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He doesn't. John Mellencamp's not an employee here.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, I am.

[Robert Kelly]

No, not either. You're.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm not either.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you're an employee. He's an employee.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm an independent contractor.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you're independent, brother. You know what independent means? Light it up. Light it up. Oh, there you go. Puff that sucker. Nobody's gonna rat you out. Who's gonna know?

[Jay Oakerson]

Snoop Dogg. You didn't fucking come tell Snoop Dogg first, then come talk to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Jim, come tell. Tell John Cougar to put it out. There you go. Feel good, right? Can I say something to your honor?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think the rest anybody else in the room is enjoying it.

[Robert Kelly]

You're an artist, dude. I love it. Smoke it up.

[Jay Oakerson]

You love it. You love getting the smoke.

[Robert Kelly]

I miss it.

[Jay Oakerson]

It seems useless. This reminds her of her molester.

[Robert Kelly]

Do a bump. Put a bump on that table.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't do cocaine.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, dude, start.

[Jay Oakerson]

You want to do a little bit of cocaine?

[Robert Kelly]

A little bit of cocaine. Just a little bit here. I got some in my pocket. That's from 19.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

86 when I quit.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is it good stuff?

[Robert Kelly]

It's the best stuff I had back then. I was only 15.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but that was a long time ago. You think it stepped on, dude?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it wasn't stepped on. We didn't step on stuff back in the 80s.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let me cut a couple of these lines up.

[Robert Kelly]

Put it up, dude. Cut it up. Don't be a. Yeah, yeah, use your amex. Ready?

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna call a bit of cigarette out.

[Robert Kelly]

Do it. Put the cigarette out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, Put the cigarette, though. I smoked half a cigarette.

[Robert Kelly]

Half a cigarette. Great.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, here we go. I'm so bad at this.

[Robert Kelly]

You're doing fine, dude. You're fine.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine, cut these lines up. For me? Can you chop these for me, Christine? Chop me a couple of Hollywoods real quick. There we go.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on. I mean, come on. I'm a big guy.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. Right? All right. Here we go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Treat me right.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Keep in mind, this is only my third time even attempting.

[Robert Kelly]

Right there. Check it out. Right there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Still no. Oh, look at that. I already had it rolled up. One.

[Robert Kelly]

Do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Take it in, brother. You're an artist.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here we go. Christine, wear a catcher's mask tonight. I don't know what kind of energy I'm coming home with. Oh, yeah, sorry. I do coke like the guy from vinyl.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Cocaine.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Karate. Karate. All right, let me do another one of those lines.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. Let me get her. There you go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Kick through the wall in the next studio. I'm hulking out.

[Robert Kelly]

Settle down, Jay. Calm down. Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jesus.

[Robert Kelly]

Feels good, right?

[Jay Oakerson]

Start to the show. I smoked half a cigarette. I did two lines of cocaine.

[Robert Kelly]

It's great.

[Jay Oakerson]

All right. I think I made my point here, though. We could stop.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you're good.

[Jay Oakerson]

We can stop there, I think. Unless. Does anybody else have anything else on them?

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just, like, the coke's already starting to come down.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, you got any lewds, Jacob, from back when you were a kid?

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm relighting this cigarette until one of you guys can come up with some goddamn drugs.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, Christine. What do you got?

[Jay Oakerson]

You know what's awesome with this? I saw Jim leave.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You went up now. We watched him down.

[Jay Oakerson]

We watched him leave. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Gotta bring you down. Let's get a little heroin. Get a little heroin.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let me do a little oxy. You want me to pull it up or should I just boot?

[Robert Kelly]

I see you booted up. Be a man, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's dj. Lou, do you have any black tar heroin from your days?

[Robert Kelly]

No. I'm sure I got some pills somewhere, though.

[Jay Oakerson]

Heroin. The heroin bell. Oh, guys, that's the heroin bell. You know what that must mean. The heroin cows coming. All right, here, tie myself off here.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on. You get a little elastic there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Give me a little music for this, though. There we go.

[Robert Kelly]

There you go. Oh, you got the little band on your arm already. Stick it in that vein.

[Jay Oakerson]

There we go. Okay, I'm. Now, I gotta be honest with you. I've always had terrible veins, so I'm gonna do my best here, okay? Try to find this thing here. This is what they do with the doctors. They tap the arm like this, see if it's hardcore.

[Robert Kelly]

You like it, man? Let's go, Bubba. You got this?

[Jay Oakerson]

Should I finish the cigarette?

[Robert Kelly]

No, that cigarette on the side. You're going to want to take a haul right after you boot up. Right?

[Jay Oakerson]

Let me put it out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, clip it.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I'm gonna go here. You put it around and I think you're gonna hold it right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Hold it like that, but then you got the vein. Now snap it down. Let it go. Yeah, let it go. Okay, I tap that t. Tap that out. Don't get any. You don't want to air on that. You don't want to air in that. All right, Tap it out. Okay. Tap it out. There you go. Nice.

[Jay Oakerson]

We're doing, like, 1950s radio.

[Robert Kelly]

This is so great. There's a lot of Foley work.

[Jay Oakerson]

I didn't know we were Foley.

[Robert Kelly]

We're a little Foley workers, you know, low key.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They showed the guy doing the. The metal, the thunder, the tin can.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, Tom Papa's gonna call in and complain about this. That's my thing. Jim. Jim, I do a show.

[Jay Oakerson]

Look at that in the light. Is that air bubbles out.

[Robert Kelly]

That's good, buddy.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't want to kill myself.

[Robert Kelly]

Budd know how to inject shit?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but that's. I do. Subcutaneous.

[Robert Kelly]

Good word.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Love it. Just wanted to hear your sound.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is a van. Never done any vein work before.

[Robert Kelly]

All right.

[Jay Oakerson]

But I do want to try.

[Robert Kelly]

You got it?

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

Before you do, can you put the leftover Coke on your gums? Yeah, sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

Rub a little gummer in. Yeah, so that's called a gummer.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

Should I know that word if I've only tried it now three times? All right, So I don't want to get rid of the rest of it. Oh, never mind. Christine did it.

[Robert Kelly]

God damn it. Christine.

[Jay Oakerson]

She thinks if she does a little bit on the gums, it's not going back into it. So, you know. Yeah, it's like taking a sip of a beer to her. She did a little gummer. Well, guys, you're gonna hear a lot of typing in the background today.

[Robert Kelly]

A lot of bag buying.

[Jay Oakerson]

She's writing a dissertation.

[Robert Kelly]

Here we go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay. All right. Tie off. You know, holding my teeth. And I think I got it. All right. Pushing in.

[Robert Kelly]

Push it in, baby.

[Jay Oakerson]

And does it happen immediately?

[Robert Kelly]

No. There it is right there. Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Feel that bubble.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let it take you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Where you at?

[Jay Oakerson]

Through the clouds.

[Robert Kelly]

Tell us. Tell us.

[Jay Oakerson]

I got some lyrics coming to me.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you got? Great serpent.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Do you see an Indian? A Native American. Native American. Sorry.

[Jay Oakerson]

I do. His balls are hanging lower than his loincloth.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you see a regular Indian? Like a 711 Indian? Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just a guy. He's tucking in his. He's got a tucked in collar shirt.

[Robert Kelly]

Is he doing standup on Netflix?

[Jay Oakerson]

He's dressed business casual on a weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm seeing him.

[Jay Oakerson]

He wants me to follow him. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Really? Follow him?

[Jay Oakerson]

Should I follow him?

[Robert Kelly]

Follow him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Where's he going?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. Where's he going?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Is he in a hut? No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Meet his family in a reasonable Volkswagen. He's driving.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's an turn into a coyote.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no, no. He's still just this guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Jay Oakerson]

Said his name's Bashir.

[Robert Kelly]

Bashir? Yeah. Is he an engineer?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And he just wants to know if I can give his car a jump. I thought this was gonna be more like native and trippy, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Give him a jump, see what happens.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thinking ahead.

[Robert Kelly]

Cables. No, I meant kiss him. Oh. Kiss him and jump him. Okay. Yeah. Come here. Hello? What do you want? Jay?

[Jay Oakerson]

He's not responding well. Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm right here, Jay. I love it.

[Jay Oakerson]

His family.

[Robert Kelly]

My mother will not accept you because you are not Indian. Okay. Bashir. What?

[Jay Oakerson]

Give me a kiss.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that okay? I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't feel any lyrics yet. Trying to follow this journey to some lyrics.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay, look at me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay, let's try the kiss again. Let's try. Bashir, open your mouth a little bit on this one. Okay. All right. No, no. Nothing yet.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

I love you. I got it.

[Jay Oakerson]

The love of a regular old Indian. There's my starting point. The love of a regular old Indian.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, man. Going home to his reasonable house. Two bedroom pet baby tiger. Two bedroom house.

[Robert Kelly]

It's two bedroom reasonable in Yonkos.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bashir, I do declare. We're only gonna need one where we're going.

[Robert Kelly]

I have you like a naan bread, J. Oh, dude. What did I have butter chicken for you. Why did I turn Chinese?

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm a pothead. So I don't want to forget this. This made me laugh so hard when I was talking about, are we out of.

[Robert Kelly]

Are we gone? Are you back off Heroin?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It only takes.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right, cool. Welcome back, dude. Where were you?

[Jay Oakerson]

Thank you. Outer space, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Jay Oakerson]

I met a nice guy named. I met a nice guy named Bashir. He wanted to do some gay stuff, but I was like, no, but I wouldn't do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Weird. Christine had to stop you from wanking You. You. You were gooning out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Shut up.

[Robert Kelly]

I swear to God, you start to squeeze off. You started to squeeze off, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. In front of you guys?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And then you were pinching your own nipples and sucking on your pinky finger.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, why'd you let it get that far? Before you stop me, you.

[Robert Kelly]

We were trying to help, but she wouldn't. She just sat there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Last thing I remember, we were all John Mellencamp dancing.

[Robert Kelly]

She was typing like a.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bashir. I miss him so much. We had gay sex, but I don't think I thought of any lyrics. Nothing came to me. Christine, how dare you? Oh, it was. What were we talking about? Christine? Where Fenoa said. I said, bobby. Any small piece of land around, Bobby will want to buy it. Wants to buy land so bad. As a landowner, I do. And what do you say? Is somebody putting a yurt on? So we laughed so hard.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God, dude. That's so funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

He'll remember.

[Robert Kelly]

It's so funny. You brought that up.

[Jacob]

Are you getting a yurt?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, up the street for me, this family owned land across the street from them, and it's right on. And they allowed. They allowed this couple to put a yurt on it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Again, a yurt is a stupid, dumb outside house.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not. It's like. It's. It's. I know we've said, what's that? We're a Mongolian type of house.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's a thing that fucked. It's the thing that chicks that don't shave in.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, okay.

[Robert Kelly]

It's more of a hippie, but you can put it up and live in it. It's a. It's a circular almost 10th house. Yeah, okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Where their pussies almost have, like a milky quality discharge, but it's not. It's just because it's just damp and moist and covered by a big, thick thatch of unkept hair.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that comes with the year, too. But there's a hole in the middle of it, too. So you light a fire in the.

[Jay Oakerson]

Middle, and she's got a lot of weird animals that she wants you to pet before you're allowed to fuck her.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like a Mongolian thing, I believe. Correct, Crusty. Correct.

[Jay Oakerson]

She smells bad. And not in that bad. That good bad where, like, you know, it's like, all right, so what? She worked a day. You know what I mean? This is like a. I don't give a fuck.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This looks like a Harry Potter tent.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, no, this one. This isn't up. This is like a very Fancy yurt.

[Jay Oakerson]

And yet still that woman you can see clearly washes her pussy in a lake.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, in a lake. She washes a pussy in a puddle she gets from rainwater from a roof. From her.

[Jay Oakerson]

She collected in a palm. Yeah, this is my pussy cleaning water. Did you guys drink that? I needed that for my pussy cleaning.

[Robert Kelly]

I was just looking at yurts don't.

[Jay Oakerson]

Get a year, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not going to get a yurt, but I do. I was looking at. I was gonna buy 60 acres up in upstate New York. How great would that be?

[Jay Oakerson]

Great.

[Robert Kelly]

We go get dirt bikes, we get guns, and we just fucking.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why do you want so much land?

[Robert Kelly]

Because, man, do you watch the news, brother? Do you understand what's happening, man? Do you know what's going on with Iran and China, brother?

[Jay Oakerson]

Do you think Mexicans are gonna take your land?

[Robert Kelly]

I hope that. No. I'm gonna bring a couple with me, though, to clean it up.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think Iran's coming for our land, buddy?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm learning Spanish, brother. I'm fucking.

[Jay Oakerson]

In case what they take over, I'm going to know.

[Robert Kelly]

So I befriend the Spanish. Really?

[Jacob]

You should probably just leave New York.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that. Yurt is nice.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude, don't live in a yurt.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay? But I did. I am going to. I think I might buy a. Max.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is going to start to resent you like the Liver Kings children. Stop making us live like this.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you see that? His poor kids.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes, he's.

[Robert Kelly]

He's talking in fucking in like in.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like high pro Magnum mumbo jumbo.

[Robert Kelly]

And they got to come and they're just regular boys and they got to come out and see dad.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm a excited. What's going to be a fun story is when the first one turns like 18, leaves the house and does his real like, what's it like? Because you could see they are absolutely dealing with it. They know it's batshit and they're just like waiting to get out. The Liver King's children. You know the Liver King is.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

You've never heard of Liver King before?

[Robert Kelly]

Stop it.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think you understand fitness and you'll know. The Liver King is America's most amazing natural body.

[Robert Kelly]

You know that guy?

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on, dude. All right. Yes, fine. Sure, he did admit to doing steroids eventually, but that's not what his point. His point was to. He wanted to inspire people to do it without steroids. Through showing you his body with massive amounts of steroids. Yeah, that was his rationale.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You eat just raw meat and you just bite into it, and that will give you this body, which is Rogan. He wants to. Over the weekend, he got arrested. I don't know if you know this. He got arrested because he went to Austin because he was threatening Joe Rogan's life.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because Joe Rogan has said when this guy got famous for a while, he told. Rogan's been one of the ground level guys, saying, this guy's not natural. He definitely does.

[Robert Kelly]

Real quick, before you get into this, you're in the sphere. Just remember what side.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Are you on high alert or something?

[Jay Oakerson]

We are code orange.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not in the sphere yet.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, the guy's out. The guy's back out. And I'll tell you what, he might be coming for blood. We laughed so hard when we were watching the. We were watching UFC this weekend, me and Bobby, and every time they would go to, like, the commentators booth and just show Rogan and whatever I said, it'd be funny to see, like a spear just coming to his fucking chest in the background. A guy wearing a wolf for a fucking hat goes like a weird fucking chant. The guy's a lunatic.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's. He. He. So he went to Austin and.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, explain. We're not giving Jacob enough front story of what he is.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay?

[Jay Oakerson]

So he got popular on the Internet, saying, you can get this naturally if you just eat raw meat and do.

[Robert Kelly]

But we're talking. We're talking millions of dollars a year. Like, he was a multimillionaire from his social media and his thing that he was creating. Okay. Joe Rogan went on his show and kind of debunked him without. You know what I mean? And people turned on him, which is, you know, it took away some of his.

[Jay Oakerson]

Some of it didn't really turn on him.

[Robert Kelly]

What happened was, as Lewis would say, it hurt his bag.

[Jay Oakerson]

His narrative.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Joe taketh away.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Joe heard his. Hurt his bag.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, you can't hurt his bag. Joe was just calling him out saying, there's no way this guy's natural. No, he's natural. So what that did was sparked up enough people to dig and find out that he does, in fact, do steroids. And then he had to make. That's what I was joking about before.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

His, like, apology for that was what I just said. He was like, look, I do steroids. I'm ashamed that I said that. I lied to you guys. It's the worst thing goes. But I just wanted to inspire people, you know, to get to their best place naturally. By showing you my extraordinarily unnatural body.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I don't even think he injects steroids. I'm pretty sure he drinks it and puts it in his eye.

[Jay Oakerson]

He also. He also non stop does like. He's also doing the weirdest. He lives like. What's he called again? What kind of lifestyle?

[Jacob]

A nomad.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ancestral. Ancestral lifestyle. But I don't know what his ancestors. I don't know what my ancestors did. But most of his threatening videos to Joe Rogan are while he's sitting in a shower with a coffee enema going up his ass. And he's holding the coffee thing up in the air and he goes, I do it with coffee because I could drink some. Some goes into my butt. And he's just sitting there shitting while he's going like, and I'm gonna go to Austin and probably murder Joe Rogan.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, first of all, pizza J. Pizza.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pizza.

[Robert Kelly]

Your ancestors pure steroid. Your ancestors, pizza.

[Jay Oakerson]

My ancestral lifestyle was mostly based in pizza. I do think that is true. That is why I actually env pizza.

[Robert Kelly]

Your family invented the song when the moon hits here. I.

[Jay Oakerson]

That was your great, great grandfather, Papa. Grandpa Bogerson. So he.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Steroid rage face.

[Jay Oakerson]

So when he. Once he admitted it, his thing just kind of went down. His like whole kind of fell apart.

[Robert Kelly]

But he went on like the podcast. He went on all the, like the Fighter and the Kid. He became friends with all this podcast. Bert. So he was friends. He was kind of in that thing. Just Rogan was like, look, dude, stop. And. But it hurt His. It hurt his bottom. Bottom line, his back.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it fucked him up. So now I think he's going through it pretty bad. Also looks like he's on drugs. He looks pretty bad. His face looks pretty bad. And he's just like. By day or by night? He's like, all day. By night. By day.

[Robert Kelly]

I get it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. He night. At nighttime, he says crazy things how he's gonna attack and come hunt down Joe Rogan and challenge him to fights. And then during the day, he's like, my manager told me to take down all those tweets because you can't say you're gonna kill a guy and just whatever. He's like. So I took it down and, you know, Schmo Jogan doesn't have to worry. Like, I just want to be on his show and blah, blah, blah. And then like that later that night, he'll go on and be like, I'm gonna tear this guy limb from limb. When I see him, we're gonna fight.

[Robert Kelly]

But he says it like a Viking. We're honorably gonna fight like dragons.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then you will come and break bread with my family. And then our families will break bread when we are done battle.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's how he talks about. No, that's exactly. He talks like that. He's like, we will fight. Yeah, we will fight like two elk in the night. And then our blood will drip into each other's eyeballs. And we would drink and suck each other's testosterone out of our. But then we'll become one and be friends. But not until the end. Until I drink your balls and suck you off.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

And then it just goes. And it's like, what? Like you're gonna.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're gonna say. It seemed like everyone was worried for about a week that he had murdered his whole family because they were not nowhere to be seen in any pictures. And then they showed up in a video in a hotel room with him. And he's just like, go in the bedroom, boys. Like, daddy's gotta go turn himself in for jail again. And so he went and turned himself to jail.

[Robert Kelly]

He went into the. But I really think it's a setup. Publicity. Because if you watch it, I think it's part of this whole Being an influencer. I know how the inside works. I know how. You know what I mean? Like, I know things.

[Jay Oakerson]

Are you saying the way you fabricated your entire childhood story? You grew up with two loving parents and never saw the inside of a boy's jail? We all know you're full of shit.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, Jay, that. That is.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wow, dude. Two. Two family. Perfect family.

[Robert Kelly]

Be funny if I was him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby drove. Bobby's first car was a used Beamer that his dad built together with him. Bobby and his father built that car from the ground up together.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. My tiny house is not a tiny house. It's a mansion. The tiny house is just the entrance to the main house.

[Jay Oakerson]

You keep inviting us, but you never tell where it is exactly. You give us coordinates.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to take a yacht to it. Listen, the thing is, it's an island. A tiny island, buddy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This look so.

[Robert Kelly]

This. So, so much funnier skinny. Do you know that?

[Jay Oakerson]

Shut up.

[Robert Kelly]

I swear.

[Jay Oakerson]

And everyone says you're going to lose it with the fat.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you didn't lose it. You gained it. Listen.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, so I might get a funny tuck, though. Would that change me?

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, are you going to get a funny if you get a funny tuck? I'm getting a funny tuck.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it's not a real thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, okay. I thought you got your little.

[Jay Oakerson]

I wouldn't be funny if it was so calling a tummy Tucker funny tuck. Like I'd be cutting out my funny.

[Robert Kelly]

Sorry, dude. I want. I. I'm so. I so want to get rid of this last little belly thing. When you said you're going to, I thought you were going to do it. I was like, I'll do it if you do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll do it. I will actually do that. But you know, let's not fucking smash pussies on the air. Talk about that while we hold hands privately. And we're going together under anesthesia. Can you do us at the same time? Can you cut off our fupas at the same time?

[Robert Kelly]

I want my. I want my football cut, but I want the rest of the. I want it all gone.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And then it is what I'm hating in the mirror because I'm like, oh, it's almost like width wise it's good. But like this, it just looks like empty kind of now.

[Robert Kelly]

I caught myself playing with it while I was watching Animal Kingdom the other night.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll never do that ever in my life. If I'm playing with it, I'm not watching something. I'm. I'm looking at myself lying in a bed and, and thinking about taking pills in a hotel room. I'm like, God damn. It's never gonna get any better, is it? You can lose all the weight and still look like a piece of shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, isn't it fucking terrible? So anyways, he went to, he went to Austin to do this, but it was all, it was all on his thing. And he showed up, he stayed at the Four Seasons. He did got money.

[Jay Oakerson]

He did bring a fucking box with Joe Rogan's face on it with a gun inside that. He says later. He was like, they were freaking out because I had a box with a picture of you on it with a gun inside of it. He goes, that was a gift. I was gonna give it to you as a gift. I've had it for a while. And I was like, oh, if I'm heading to Austin, I might as well get him that gift. I forgot to send it before.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And he, and he, he files his fingers down with a, like a four foot file you use to sharpen knives. Yeah, dude. He files his fingernails. So he's like, he's going out and.

[Jay Oakerson]

He'S like a cat.

[Robert Kelly]

The guy was like, hey, dude, you don't wanna bring that downstairs. Cause the cops are gonna Arrest him. He's like, you got to put that down. You can't. Okay, like they're telling him, don't bring the knife, don't bring the file. Dagger. Is that him?

[Jacob]

I think that's wife's Instagram.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's him before you went nuts. And the first kid, when the first kid was the first kid, remembers him not being a psycho. Isn't that suck?

[Robert Kelly]

Can you go back to that?

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what I'm saying. The oldest one you could see. When they're in this hotel room in the video, the sun almost has a thing. Like just two more years. This before I could just go like, and tell everybody in my life, like, that was a wacky one growing up with, like, he's off his rocker.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at how picture of him and.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He'S ripped there like a normal rips.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's looks like a Florida guy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But why go from that? Like you.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then he got addicted to social media. You got obsessed with social media.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude. He became. You can't be the liver king with a regular face. Look at that. He's just a regular dad.

[Jay Oakerson]

They're all natural. I believe him. I want to believe him.

[Jacob]

Look at what he has his family doing. Kettlebells, ankle weights, backpacks.

[Jay Oakerson]

Cigarette, right? Who gives a shit?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, do it, man. Do another line of coke.

[Jay Oakerson]

You have more coke?

[Robert Kelly]

I do, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why wouldn't you tell me before, buddy?

[Robert Kelly]

Because I had from 80 when I got sober. And then after I got sober, a quick little relapse. It's not in relapse. Somebody gave me and they tried. My friend Mikey O was like, dude, do some more coke, dude. You were fun when you were coke coked up. But I didn't do it. I just kept it in my book. My. My step book.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who gave it to you?

[Robert Kelly]

Mikey O.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is this safe stuff?

[Robert Kelly]

Safe, dude? Yeah, it was before Mike o'. Leary. I don't know. We never know.

[Jay Oakerson]

Irish guy.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. He's Irish.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Can you go back to that? You gotta read steroid rage.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine, rip up some of these rails for me.

[Jacob]

Yeah, give it up.

[Jay Oakerson]

DJ Luke. Jacob. I don't want to be rude, Jacob. You party.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You know it. I party.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you rip a little?

[Robert Kelly]

Come on, Jacob.

[Jay Oakerson]

One of these rails, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Get a little rail going. Do it. There you go. Make it a little thin. There you go. Come on. Nice. Damn it.

[Jay Oakerson]

We get down here and Bobby loves, you know, give to me, give back to me. Yeah. Oh, when I came Home last night. I always start a line before. You wouldn't make love to me.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm playing tit drums.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is how I prove to everybody. I know the song. Oh, is it not that part yet? I just know the words. You wouldn't make love to me. Yeah, dude, we fucking party. Bobby. What do you do? You just get off watching us party?

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I'm playing tit drums. I can't be doing any blow.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm starting to master them.

[Robert Kelly]

Titties.

[Jay Oakerson]

Me and Bobby gonna join a black fraternity by the. Yo, what black fraternity you want to rush this year, Q Dogs.

[Robert Kelly]

So. So this guy goes to Austin and the cops are like, look, we're coming to get you. And it's all planned out. It's all his public turn himself in. Yeah. But they came and they gave him a few minutes to get his together. He's running around frantic, giving all kinds of words of wisdom that don't make any sense. He sounds like a nutcase.

[Jay Oakerson]

And he was bear crawling around. So it's funny. They're describing all this stuff and they go. And he's bear crawling around his hotel room and everything. And as he's saying this, I go, lewis is drug use away from being the liver king because he's bear crawling and video himself bear crawling around his hotel room. I go, I think Lewis does like a weekly thing of that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, my coffee.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right. If you subscribe right now, you get a weekly video of me bear crawling around a hotel.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, he sound. Can I. You know who he sounds like? Remember the guy?

[Jay Oakerson]

Heard a couple people. Now, I don't drink. I heard a couple people say, coffee is really good.

[Robert Kelly]

It's awesome. It really is good. You remember the guy who was walking down the street and he had all the. He was crazy. He was a big, huge guy walking down the street kind of talking like, I went to the house in there and then. And that's when I started doing it. And he was singing like kind of rhythmically. Remember that guy? You remember the guy? He was crazy with the shins. His all. Shins were all. You memorized his whole. You remember psychotic loop as he walked down the streets. Yes.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, oh, that's who. Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

That's who. The liver king kind of has a cadence like that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, right. He has like a little.

[Jay Oakerson]

He plays for the Pittsburgh stage. He likes to do the thing. Yes. Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

Here we we go. That guy, he.

[Jay Oakerson]

He likes to move. The neighborhood kids call him King.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's got the funniest steroid motivations that he posts. Christine had one out. Together we rise. Together we conquer. There was more of it. It was. It was gratitude.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like ancestral living, you know, our ancestors who used testosterone, cyprianate.

[Robert Kelly]

There he is right there. That's him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Put him on this.

[Robert Kelly]

7Am in the morning.

[Christine]

She wants no falling Greenville, Ohio.

[Robert Kelly]

There beats over it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't mind it.

[Robert Kelly]

You like it?

[Jay Oakerson]

I thought Lou was doing it. I was so excited. Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

Here we go.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here we go. Oh, people using the Steelers font. Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

His legs are dead. Here we go, here we go. He said he was going to the house. He was gonna do a little line.

[Jay Oakerson]

So, yeah, Liver king.

[Robert Kelly]

Liver King. Toxic dad.

[Jay Oakerson]

But then he kicked his dog. So him. For the way he kicked that dog, was it. You didn't see that video?

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, watch this.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought he was. I saw him only, like, giving his dog love. He kicked his dog.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, he doesn't, like, boot it to the moon, but it's up. What he does is up. This is. He wasn't just, like, shoving the dog. It's a kick. And he's wearing boots.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, I didn't see this. Cut it the out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. What'd he do, though?

[Jay Oakerson]

Didn't see him kick the dog.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but the dog said the N word.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

The dog said the N word.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you can't be doing that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they are Dobermans.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He said Jew and then the N word. Oh, yeah, yeah, dude, he's just.

[Jay Oakerson]

He leaned over. He goes. He goes from the river to the sea. Hey, knock it the off right now. We don't talk like that in this house.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, you gotta. You gotta listen to the audio. You can't just look at it.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's what this just said.

[Robert Kelly]

Go over Africa.

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Robert goes. All they do is steal. Women don't belong in the workplace. Black lives don't matter. Hey, yo, don't do that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Blue lives matter. King kicks his dog. Joe Rogan podcast news. That's the thing we're watching. Sorry, guys. This is when you're in the sphere.

[Jacob]

I think this is his house.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. He's a. He's a millionaire.

[Jacob]

So what's this, like, ancestral living like? Just because he.

[Jay Oakerson]

Because they don't go out. Because they don't go outside and, like, kill a raccoon and eat it with his hands.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, he's. He is a multimillionaire. He has millions of dollars.

[Jay Oakerson]

They go. Kids never look happy. I go, yeah, right.

[Robert Kelly]

It looks like Trump's kids.

[Jacob]

They're all wearing matching suits. Except for his is a low cut.

[Robert Kelly]

Vest because he can't fit into a suit. Do you see his chest?

[Jay Oakerson]

Guy's got a bonkers body.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to show this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Look at the vest he's wearing.

[Jay Oakerson]

Must be he looks better. He looks better than anyone I've ever seen in a tuxedo in my life.

[Robert Kelly]

This is an ad by Better Help me tell you something. Workplace stress and anxiety is killer for me. I'm a stand up comedian. I'm in show business. I do podcasts. I work with some of the funniest people in the world. You think it's all fun and games. It's not. I got to deal with egos. I got to deal with insecurities. I got to deal with all kinds of stuff. I don't want to bring that home to my family. I want to have great days. I want to enjoy what I do. BetterHelp helps me actually deal with all the stress Workplace stress is one of the top causes of declining mental health. We can't just quit because it's stressful, but we can start with small and little Focus of wellness. Therapy is the way you do this. Therapy can help you navigate whatever challenges the workday or any day might have. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It works. It's convenient too. You can do it from anywhere. You can join a session, click a button, bang. You're in. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] bonfire. That's B E T T E R h e l p.com bonfire hey everybody.

[Jay Oakerson]

Have you noticed that everywhere you go it seems like prices are going up? They keep saying it. The grocery store, your cars, your appliances, everything is through the roof right now. Wouldn't it be nice if prices would go down? Well at Metro, they've got your back. They've lowered their prices and are giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you also get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit metrobyt-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number. Not available. If currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days, guarantee covers monthly price of on network talk, text and 5G data for customers. Activating on eligible plan exclusions Apply details@metro by t-mobile.com Guys, you know running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need and they're all so expensive. And since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo. That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software so you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it, right? But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is, why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's o d o o.com odoo.com hey.

[Robert Kelly]

You got any fun trips coming up? One thing you probably haven't put in your packing list Learning a new language. But with Babbel, you can start talking in just a few weeks. Start speaking a new language with confidence thanks to Babbel's conversation based techniques that quickly teaches you useful words and phrases about the things you actually talk about in real world. Babbel's awesome. It sends reminders to me. There's over a dozen languages available to learn at your own pace so you can achieve your goals with material tailored to your individual proficiency level. It's sentence building, spelling reinforcement. It has all this stuff that makes me feel good about learning a language. Spanish is the one I'm learning and I have Italian on the side. Learn another language Babel is gifting our listeners 55 off subscriptions at babel.com bonfire get up to 55% off that babbel.com bonfire spelled B-A B-B-E-L.com bonfire babel.com bonfire rules and restrictions may apply. Gracias. De nada. Buffalo he his wife must be bummed out that she has to do with them though.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you what she does have to do. She has to keep those legs Skinny. Because I bet this guy throws an ancestral pounding into her.

[Robert Kelly]

You think?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You think it comes out?

[Jay Oakerson]

I think she's probably only allowed to clean with some kind of weird, like. Like. Like powdered soap.

[Robert Kelly]

His. His jizz comes out like African bee honey.

[Jay Oakerson]

Thick. Mucusy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, just thick.

[Jay Oakerson]

You have to break it off.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And when you do, it sticks to your finger and thumb.

[Robert Kelly]

You. You can't wipe it off with regular. Tough.

[Jay Oakerson]

You have to get some hot water on that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Can you go back to one where they're all working out that one, so they can read the motivation?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Is that the one? No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Anyway, this guy, man, the liver King.

[Robert Kelly]

Liver king. And he bites into her. Just livers. Just eats liver raw.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Is that the thing, though?

[Christine]

Like, he eats?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he'll eat. He'll just bite into liver raw. Like that's his thing, like liver, you know, raw meats. And you live the way we used to live. We didn't cook and all that dumb. And then he talks in, I don't know, rhymes. Here we go. And he says, stupid. And then people. People love them, though, because, I mean, there was a lot of people on his side when he first came out. Like, this guy's doing it right? And people like, dude, I do what you do. And then.

[Jay Oakerson]

Rose, why do I look like you? I do what you do. Why do I not look? Even an 80th of what you look, look like.

[Robert Kelly]

What does it say?

[Jay Oakerson]

Together, the ultimate pack.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, read it. Jay. Like him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Together we rise. Together we conquer. Forget the social. No societal norms that you want are soft and weak. Here we go. Life isn't meant to be easy. The fortune. Life comes to struggle as a family. We're experiencing the struggle together. Here we go. Bonds, fortune. The fires of shared hardships. Hardships that create a bond no easy life can replicate. Your kids see your strength and your commitment and learn to channel their inner beast. Here we go. Prepare them to face life challenges head on. Discipline, resilience, tendency. Build these muscles not just in the gym, but in every goddamn aspect of life. When the hits the fan, your family will be ready. You'll have each other's backs because you know what it's like to fight, win and conquer together. Here we go. Liver King out.

[Robert Kelly]

Bravo, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

It's him.

[Luis J. Gomez]

One of the kids doesn't want to work out one day. Yeah, I'm just gonna go play baseball with my friends.

[Robert Kelly]

He kicks him right in the ass.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's like, first of all, you're gonna eat this donkey. Heart and then, first things first, you're gonna eat a donkey heart, and then you're gonna go honor your mother.

[Robert Kelly]

I asked Don to do a band workout with me today. She said, I'm go fuck myself, got a cup of iced coffee, and hit the porch.

[Jay Oakerson]

She goes, yeah, you go be the liver king, and then I'll do what you want to do.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to go over here with my small titties and have a nice coffee. Look at that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Guy was yoked. But his kids do never look happy, ever. No, but they can't. That. The oldest one. I said he saw the transition. So that kid's got a story to tell. It's gonna be awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, I think he's got a new. He's filming a new doc now.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, they did the one. They did the Netflix one.

[Robert Kelly]

They did a Netflix one, but I think they're doing a new one. They have a camera crew around him all time. So I think this is part of the. The build up to the. You know, and the new.

[Jay Oakerson]

He looks whacked out on drugs.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I hear. Can you go back to his thing? I want to hear. There's one thing. When he was.

[Jay Oakerson]

She wants to go to Gainesville High.

[Robert Kelly]

Not with yet.

[Jay Oakerson]

This.

[Robert Kelly]

Go back to his Instagram. Christine.

[Jay Oakerson]

She used to be in musical theater. She likes to say the Prince of Steelers.

[Robert Kelly]

Scroll down a little bit when you get there. I think it's him.

[Jay Oakerson]

She goes again. The green pillow. Here we go.

[Robert Kelly]

The video says this is 7:00am Yeah, 7:00am in the morning. And the guys, his legs are dying from his kneecaps down. If you look at his shins, he's got, like, diabetes. That's a while ago. This guy's gotta be dead. Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. Keep scrolling. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, scroll down, scroll down. It's all the way. When he was getting. Wait. Yeah, keep going, keep going. He makes a lot of videos, bro. All right, go back, go back. Go back up. Right, right there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's where he's getting himself. That's where he's giving himself a coffee enema. Next to it, though, while he's talking.

[Robert Kelly]

All right, listen to this. This is when he's getting ready to go to jail, I believe. Right? Can we hear it?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Jacob]

Oh, yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he's doing. He's doing.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're just picking up where we're leaving off.

[Robert Kelly]

He has moments of.

[Jay Oakerson]

He also has merch that says that's Joe Rogan's face versus, like, an outline of his face. His whole sweatsuit is that.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at his belly button that was coming out.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's got a. Oh, he's got a hernia.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, this makes me. I had one. The disgusting. I'm so glad I got rid of it. It was gross. And it would get bigger and bigger, and if I laughed, it came out, like. And then it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Stop talking about, I hate this.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I. I actually pushed it back in once. My doctor was like, oh, you can push it back in. I go, what? He goes, come here. And he stuck his finger and it went in.

[Jay Oakerson]

Back in your belly button. Your belly button became like magic shop mustard. You ever see when you can go to a magic shop, buy the fake mustard? You squirt it and mustard comes out, but it's on a string. It's not real mustard. That's what Bobby's belly button was laughing. Fake mustard would come out.

[Robert Kelly]

See, it's gone. But before, it was, like, bulging out right here. It was gross. It was a little pocket.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, Jacob. If you want to see this guy, ram coffee up his.

[Robert Kelly]

I listen. The best kind.

[Jay Oakerson]

So I can drink some of the coffee.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna try that with Lewis.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can you shut the up? You would submit to this guy, the liver king.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. You would love him, Christine.

[Jacob]

You like Jack guys, not steroid psychopaths.

[Robert Kelly]

You would love a nice coffee enema with body brain, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you know what? Let me tell you. I don't like coffee. Yeah, but I should ask Lewis if I could coffee enema. His coffee.

[Robert Kelly]

You can.

[Jay Oakerson]

Would it. Would it be good for you? Are these things okay to go in my ass? Can we look up. What's it called? Timonium Cat. What's this stuff called?

[Robert Kelly]

Lion's mane.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, there's something else. And AKA laka laka and shimshala bim.

[Robert Kelly]

And a lion's mane and beets and. Yeah, you can stick it right in your butt.

[Jay Oakerson]

So I could jam it right in my ass.

[Robert Kelly]

You say you can put it in your ass, but here's what I would do. I would actually put something else in your butt first. Get those red blood cells going to the roots of your butthole and then put it into the Ashkawaga and the Takawanga Ali. And the lion's mane will just get absorbed along with the thinian.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine, can you see if Lewis could call on the show real quick? Yeah, I'd like to ask him if he would stand behind if something terrible happens to me when this goes up my ass. Inevitably. Yeah, I don't want to fucking. I don't want to have his him jammed up in court. But I'll bring him to his knees.

[Robert Kelly]

You bring him to his.

[Jay Oakerson]

Financially.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

If something terrible happens to me. Shoving his coffee up my ass.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Looks like you're gonna mainline all the.

[Jay Oakerson]

Good stuff, I hope.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. It's gonna go right directly into your blood system. From your asshole.

[Jay Oakerson]

Maybe. Yeah, let's hope.

[Robert Kelly]

100%.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, you don't know science. You're Dr.

[Robert Kelly]

Cheese, buddy. What?

[Jay Oakerson]

You're Dr. Cheese. You're not Dr. Fucking asshole.

[Robert Kelly]

A little reference. Just tell me what. I was feeding Dan sodas. Really like cheese. And they named me Duck to Cheese, which I. I liked.

[Jay Oakerson]

The dog kept coming over to Bobby. Dr. Cheese.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He will follow me around because I hooked him up with Cheese.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just doing a little vamping until Lewis calls in.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

So some light story work, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

The reason why I know this is because if you. When you put stuff in your asshole right, you absorb it quicker.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's like, oh, is that why when that guy fucked you, you became gay?

[Robert Kelly]

I told you that in confidence.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

And that's not why I became gay.

[Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, it's not.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what? I hope I am gay someday. Just to make you feel bad about saying that joke.

[Jay Oakerson]

I have to go do an apology tour on the press. I'm like, I had. I didn't know at all this guy was blowing F words out there left and right. I didn't know he was hiding something.

[Robert Kelly]

I wasn't hiding it. J. The only reason why I wanted to do this show is to get closer to you.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can't tell you. Nothing would make me happier. And I mean this from the heart. Yeah, nothing would make me happier than to find out that you and Justin Silver have had a long term gay relationship behind everyone's backs.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what makes me sad about that?

[Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Is that I'm not hot enough for Justin.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think that's true.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think I am.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think that's true.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not. That makes me sad.

[Jay Oakerson]

No. Jacob will take down a big gal. Jacob or I'm not Jacob. Justin. I'll take that big girl. Jacob will never take.

[Robert Kelly]

You have to insult me like that. Jacob would definitely go with me. I could get.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jacob would not get with you.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Jay Oakerson]

Justin would.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob you if I. Jacob, stop. Let me turn to you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I like you as a friend.

[Robert Kelly]

What? That. Why does it hurt? Why does it feel bad? Look at me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We've all had that said to us, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at me. What do you mean?

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby never has. It was the first time ever.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean? He's a friend.

[Jay Oakerson]

You just delivered a crushing blow, my friend.

[Robert Kelly]

So if you were gay and I was gay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I wouldn't be your type? Are you crazy?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I know my type.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't know my type.

[Robert Kelly]

Then why did my hearing just get. Why did the buzzing just go away?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I know you typed it.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's currently. Lewis is currently with kids. He said when he texts. So with kids. Is this not around kids question if he's not on speakerphone.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me ask you a question. Why plural?

[Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

Why plural?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he's Puerto Rican. So they multiply.

[Robert Kelly]

I got you. He's got to be around multiple kids because they're just.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wherever he's jerked off in his house, there's a child growing. And some of them get good sunlight, some of them don't. So only a few survive. So he's taking care of James, probably. And several of his slowly growing jizz piles.

[Robert Kelly]

A Cuomo kid is walking around. I'm really offended, man. I keep. I could be a dandy dude. I like all the same stuff you like.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Robert Kelly]

We like the same stuff. We'd watch the same shows. We'd go and do the same stuff. What are you talking?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Like a sense of humor?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a. I'm. You don't think I'm funny?

[Jay Oakerson]

Jacob, you'd get with me for like a night. I don't understand. We'd be a whole thing. But we'd be. We'd rock it out one night for sure. Throw each other around a little bit.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you think about that? Would you. Would you rock it at one day's.

[Luis J. Gomez]

A one night stand? You're more relationship.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but a sexless relationship.

[Robert Kelly]

She's not attracted to each other, dude. That's what I have now.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you thought it was gonna be greener on the other side. You thought the grass is gonna be greener. But it's just a sexless marriage with Jacob now.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought. I thought it was gonna be gayer. There's nothing gayer than my relationship with Dawn.

[Jay Oakerson]

You guys will dance more. You guys will dance more.

[Robert Kelly]

We went and visited my old gay neighbors last on Saturday. Why? We went back to our old Max. Like, I want to go see our old house, our neighborhood. So he was like, I want.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is the guys that molested him?

[Robert Kelly]

No, nobody molested him.

[Jay Oakerson]

You'll know that.

[Robert Kelly]

We did fourth of July together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, boy. That's how it happens.

[Robert Kelly]

I like fourth of July. I told you what those guys, they go by the rules of New York State. Nothing. No fireworks six and a half feet or higher. They buy New York legal fireworks and they have a platform that they built to put the fireworks on. And then they have a hose running the whole time. So one stands with a hose and then they light the fireworks. They let Max light it.

[Jay Oakerson]

So they put on the most eco, friendly, gayest firework display.

[Robert Kelly]

It's the safest. I hate extravagant. I like fireworks done professionally, but I don't like amateur people. Like Paul Verze. Yeah, he went and met somebody at a dock to get illegal fireworks.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's his address? Let's turn him in.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd love to. Because allegedly. It's allegedly.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I say we fucking. Let's do this. Let's be the beginning.

[Robert Kelly]

His fireworks display. Your whole time you're like just seeing shadows run up to the this thing and just. And then people running for their lives.

[Jay Oakerson]

They're not called shadows. Mexican workers.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, that was the shadows. Cuz it was dark out. Oh yeah. And then the fireworks are just landing on people's houses. Like the roofs. You just see the.

[Jay Oakerson]

And you're like, I don't like that one bit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, who the wants that? I don't like rogue fireworks.

[Jacob]

No, I like, I like professional fireworks.

[Robert Kelly]

I like professional or amateur. Like the, the guys on our block, the two who are awesome. I don't like people who put on displays like they like, they, they have to, you know, meet somebody at a dock and the thing's gonna go 100ft in the air and blow up.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I like fireworks. Not too much.

[Jacob]

We got sparklers for the house.

[Robert Kelly]

In Florida, I like a nice sparkler.

[Luis J. Gomez]

In Florida you just. Everyone has fireworks. So on 4th of July it's like you walking your dog. But it's like Vietnam.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There's smoke. You're walking through smoke.

[Jay Oakerson]

I like that.

[Jacob]

During the pandemic in the Village or in July, it was crazy how many people were lighting off fireworks. It was non stop.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you remember that? Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

But they were still kind of fucking like whack fireworks in, in Philly, when I was growing up or even South Jersey, we had some like uncles and shit that would get their hands on some illegal fireworks stuff. So it was fun to watch. We were pretty trash. It was fun to watch a professional firework go off from like in front of your shitty house.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. I don't like it. It's terrifying just to see it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Especially these houses. These Houses would have gone up like a wick. Yeah, these are shitty, dirty row houses.

[Robert Kelly]

They're all connected.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's just not even Phil. Even South Jersey, where we were, we were do this. It was just houses that were like, you know, made of wood siding and wood. Wood on wood waiting to be.

[Robert Kelly]

They did that. We were in. And we did New Year's Eve in Aruba. And I guess that's a big night where we're at a restaurant, outdoor restaurant of the outdoor seating. And the guy just dropped a box like behind us, like four feet behind us and lit it and it just went like. And we like jumped and it just. It was crazy fireworks. And nobody said shit.

[Jay Oakerson]

How legal are fireworks in New Jersey? Because at our grocery store I almost bought. They had like hundred dollar boxes, hundred and fifty dollars boxes of fireworks that I was gonna like consider buying. But then I was like, well what are these bullshit though? Am I buying $150 of like corny little fucking things or am I buying something that's gonna like upset some people?

[Robert Kelly]

You're gonna buy things that upset people because you live in a neighborhood that you shouldn't be lighting fireworks off.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, here it says it's a sparkling devices and novelties like sparklers, snakes, glow worms, smoke devices, trich noise. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's stuff. Only they're garbage.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's fun stuff. And then if you want to see fireworks, turn the TV on and watch it.

[Jacob]

Yeah, their fireworks are like crackle in the street. They don't really like go up at all. Like that's what we did. There's a barbecue at Lewis's. And remember they're putting them. They're setting them off with James.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Little ones I'm fine with. But when you go verse. He's a maniac dude. He was lighting stuff off that like were bombs. And what like, you know, that goes up and it goes. You're like, oh, it didn't work. And then. And it goes. And then it sprinkles down on all the woods behind his house and people's houses.

[Jay Oakerson]

It is funny. You're describing it beautifully with like terrible consequences. And it explodes. Magical colors and lights going and come down. All these dry areas, trees and.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And then there's ash everywhere. There's the remnants of the.

[Robert Kelly]

The fireworks and I don't.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Apart all over everyone's.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody's staying and then. And then the dogs don't. The. The dogs are all flipping out. Dogs hate fireworks.

[Jacob]

Our dog has no problem with fireworks.

[Robert Kelly]

It's great that's probably black people.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All the animals. The wildlife's traumatized by it.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't like it. There was a bunch of dogs there and they kept running over to the fireworks and they were like, get over here. It's like, chain the fucking dog up. If, God forbid, the thing blows up in the dog's face and the poor thing gets burnt.

[Jacob]

I mean, you should probably have your dog on a leash when you're setting off fireworks.

[Robert Kelly]

A hundred percent, actually. Logical idea.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think it's these New Jersey level fireworks that I was looking at, but do you. There was a guy. Was it last year's fireworks? That video went viral of the guy that we watched that in here. The guy's like. Lighting went off and it blows his hand, the pieces. And he's like in shock and he's just like. He walks around, it's like dangling off.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think they. Is there a follow up? I think they should have. They fixed it.

[Robert Kelly]

They fixed his hand.

[Jay Oakerson]

You know, it's not a gaping wound of blood anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

They fixed my hand the other day. It's not the way it was.

[Jay Oakerson]

I can't play for the Pittsburgh series.

[Robert Kelly]

There we go.

[Jay Oakerson]

How about Jean Pierre Paul, the player for the Giants? God, you guys are such ladies. The player for the Giants that blew his fingers off.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

With fireworks. And came back and played. Just always played with like a cast on. Wacky.

[Robert Kelly]

He was good. You got it, Chrissy. You mind if I call you Chrissy? That's all right. Yeah, dude, he. The fireworks situation terror. I don't mind firecrackers. I don't mind a little sprinkler, a little sizzler. I don't mind a little bottle rocket. Little. Little bottle rocket. I'm fine with.

[Jay Oakerson]

Those are ones that go. Can go possibly, like forward by accident and shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. But I don't mind. What they used to call them in your neighborhood when you put them on the ground, the little rockets. What they call them? You tell me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bottle rockets.

[Robert Kelly]

What they call them, though? The. You're saying they. You put them on the ground, they forget what they call them. You said they called them something.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is it bottle rockets chasers or something like that? No.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is this the guy? I'll play it.

[Robert Kelly]

This is terrible.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, no, this is the news.

[Robert Kelly]

This is a guy. They blurred it out. So a guy's. What is this? A guy's in the street, he's trying.

[Jay Oakerson]

To, like, I don't know, M80 or something. But when the guy goes over, they're like, no, the guy in the skateboard is the one who really.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, his hands hanging off.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Oh, it is blurry.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but see if they. But it doesn't matter. I've seen it before. But just find what they fixed it with.

[Robert Kelly]

So the guy lit a firework in his hand and it went off too quick.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, who the fuck does that?

[Jay Oakerson]

But that's all I thought about. I was gonna buy those. Like, maybe I'll buy, like, whatever. It'll be a little fun. If it's. If they're stupid. It's kind of funny, but they still stay on it. Like, you have to be careful. Light this and get out of range quickly. And don't fuck around. Don't be near it. Don't light more often than one at a time and all this shit. And I was like, you know what? If I had to come here to work one day, just be holding like, fucking two nubs and like, one. One working finger. Hey, guys, Christine has to put the.

[Robert Kelly]

Cigarette in your mouth and you light it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that would suck so much. I have to smoke always. Like, I'm pinching, which is my pinchy fingers that I have left. That's all right. I can still crank nips, though. If you only have a forefinger to thumb, you still crank nips. I can still whack off.

[Robert Kelly]

You can still stir your coffee.

[Jay Oakerson]

I can stir my coffee and then put it up my butt. Because I don't drink coffee. I fucking take it straight in the ass. Why coffee? Why do they believe coffee is good for enemas? He's the first person I've heard that.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's. Coffee enema is supposed to be good for you. I heard that before.

[Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Because of the. The mineral, caffeine.

[Jay Oakerson]

You know what's funny? You could.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

You know, a. A wise person once told me. A wise person will just go, I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Watch this. I. I actually had a wise person tell me a long time ago, go with the flow.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just start talking. Just what happens.

[Robert Kelly]

It was Colin Quinn.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's more entertaining.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that said go to Florida? Just let's talk. We gotta talk for two hours.

[Jay Oakerson]

This is.

[Robert Kelly]

Keep going. Don't put no brakes on you. Just keep on going with it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. It's not fun.

[Jay Oakerson]

What's the thing? I don't know, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Ready? Watch this. Ask me again. Why do they put the coffee in?

[Jay Oakerson]

Why is it coffees for animals?

[Robert Kelly]

Because dude, the micro nisms than micronisms.

[Jay Oakerson]

Give you so much time.

[Robert Kelly]

I got micronisms, dude. You don't like micronisms? I mean, you go with micronisms.

[Jay Oakerson]

I feel like if you say it 10 times fast, you're gonna up.

[Robert Kelly]

Micronism. Micronism. Micronism. Micromanism. Thanks, dude. Oh, my God.

[Jay Oakerson]

When the black blue cat's away, the bonfire mice will play. Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

The bonfire Might as well play when black Lou is away.

[Jay Oakerson]

Here we are living Greenville, Ohio.

[Robert Kelly]

You got it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do we have a picture of his fucking fingers? He put back on.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn.

[Jay Oakerson]

His reattached fingers.

[Robert Kelly]

There they are right there. Why is his hand. Why does he look like he's in Minecraft?

[Jay Oakerson]

Is. As he speaks out, he's gonna be like, don't do this. What advice could he give? It's the Yulbrenner. Don't smoke. Guys, look at my fingers. I'll do that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Now that I'm gone, these people that use this.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't smoke.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Don't smoke.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't smoke. Don't put this out posthumously.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Man. That commercial freaked me out when it came out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't.

[Robert Kelly]

But he had bad teeth too. You ever see his teeth when he did the Westerns? Yeah, he had Ewell Brenner disgusting teeth. Gross.

[Jay Oakerson]

That might have been maybe movie makeup.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, it was his teeth.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pharaoh.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, in the Good, the Bad, the ugly.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I'm saying he was Pharaoh.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'm talking about a good, the bad. I know he's fair, but he was only.

[Jay Oakerson]

But he was only pharaoh for me. I didn't watch one other thing. Yul Brenner was a part of.

[Robert Kelly]

You didn't see good the Good, the Bad, the Ugly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's not in that movie, Bobby.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you know, I must have seen it. I must have seen it then because I could have lied and jumped on with Jacob and been like, he wasn't even in that box.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Eli Wallach.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that him?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you're right. That's. But they're very similar.

[Jay Oakerson]

Are you Knowledge, our Yule Brenner. Knowledge is garbage.

[Robert Kelly]

I know, it's terrible. Bring up Yule Brenner. Bring out the good, the bad, the ugly.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't smoke. Please don't smoke. Who's on the phone? Lewis. Oh, nice. Lewis. What's up, buddy?

[Christine]

What's up?

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis, we have a question for you and we need you. First, we have Body Brain coffee. Fantastic. Tastes great. It's out on the market right now. You can order it, but we have a question about it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, we already said that we don't have to over suck it stick.

[Robert Kelly]

We want to know.

[Jay Oakerson]

I want to start getting you. I want to use it.

[Robert Kelly]

I have a. I'm a 5%. You gave me 5% of the company. So what? Yeah, whatever, dude. Just move on. Body Brain, stay focused in every sip.

[Jay Oakerson]

My question, Louis, is, you know, I don't drink coffee and I want to enjoy my friend's product because multiple people now have told me it's great. And I want to know, is it safe with all the doodads and stuff that are in it? Can I coffee enema?

[Robert Kelly]

It's it.

[Christine]

Can you copy animate it?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Can you put it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is it safe? Is Tong Cat Ali going to destroy my inner.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And I'm going to say as. As. As the person who owns this coffee brand, I'm going to say no, do not do that. As your friend and. And a person who loves you. Yes, Jay, please do that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Christine]

A little packet directly. Directly into your. Then just pop it off. A little bit of cream and then just don't do that.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, he doesn't want to drink it. He to sip it with his bum and then spit it out.

[Christine]

I want. I want to see. I want to see like your do like a little swallow pucker.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I bet if you put it. If you poured it quickly into a funnel, it would slowly. My ass would slowly accept it inside.

[Robert Kelly]

You would.

[Jay Oakerson]

Until it was gone.

[Christine]

It would favor drinking it. It wouldn't just be one big glug. It would be a nice slow chug.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can we get to the scientists back at Body Brain HQ and see if I could shove this up my ass? Because I would like to do an enema competition maybe with someone.

[Robert Kelly]

Can I ask a question, though? Are you going to just pour because it' a dry. It's dry and no, you have to mix it first. I would say, why don't you just snort it with your like cocaine. Put a line down, sit on it.

[Christine]

I was imagining it was going to be in powder form when you pour it into your ass, but we're going to funnel it into your. In powder form and then put a little creamer on top of it. However, you take your coffee and just fart a creamer, whatever it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God, he's going to fart freeze dried crystals.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, they're not going to freeze. They're going to. Once they hit your moisture, it's gonna moisten up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sir, how would you feel if I told you that we switched your coffee enemy with Body Brain Coffee?

[Christine]

What you're gonna your is gonna freeze from the inside out like Terminator.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I'm a Terminator 2 and Demolition man ass. And then Lewis is gonna kick me in the my. Is gonna break into a thousand pieces.

[Robert Kelly]

What if you put it in your dry and then all of a sudden you're like limitless? You just know everything.

[Jay Oakerson]

That'd be great.

[Robert Kelly]

You call us. What you have to do is sell more coffee.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Oh, that would be great. If someone goes, you know, I've been drinking body brain coffee, but I'm not feeling the effects yet. I go, you're drinking it wrong. You got to get this up your ass, my man. You are missing out on all the best benefits of this. No, I just wanted to ask you if you knew if that was a thing. If you know, if you should or should not. Coffee enema with this. You're saying as an owner right now.

[Christine]

Let me see what Chat GPT says right now.

[Robert Kelly]

I love the Chat GPT is Lewis's best friend.

[Jay Oakerson]

They're seeing each other again.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, they see it. You guys are back together?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they worked out their problems.

[Robert Kelly]

They worked about.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ironically, they solved their problems by asking Chat GBT how to solve their problems.

[Robert Kelly]

No, Jay, I would actually boil the water and put it in hot.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on, dude. Why would you set a friend up to do something?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm saying, dude, your asshole can take it.

[Jay Oakerson]

You don't know that.

[Robert Kelly]

I do.

[Christine]

I'm asking right now. Would you be able to put body brand coffee up your anus and feel the benefits? I hit enter. Come on, don't be a pussy. Chat dpt.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on.

[Christine]

Let's see. Technically. All right, so it said technically, question mark. You can put just about anything up your anus, but in the case of body brain coffee, no, you won't feel the intended benefits in doing that. And here's why. And then they give me all if. Would a coffee enema work? Coffee enemas do exist, but they're for a detox, not nootropic and testosterone boosting effects. You're gonna. You're risking irritating your colon, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now, here's the thing. I'm not gonna get the benefits, but what if it just tastes good up there?

[Robert Kelly]

So you're gonna get. You're gonna get Christine.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna go up there and I guess, why, Guys? I just like the taste in my asshole, though, not my mouth. Still don't like coffee in my mouth.

[Christine]

Wait, what is a coffee enema?

[Jay Oakerson]

It's what the liver king's doing while he's threatening Joe Rogan. He's just sitting there with a. Putting coffee up his ass. I swear to God. Yeah, he just is sitting there with a tube that puts coffee up your ass. And then I guess you hold it in until you blast shit it all out. But he's just shitting while he's talking to Joe. I won't talk to my friends on the phone when I shit. Liver King will make global threats. All right, so noted. I will not encourage people to put Body Brain coffee up their ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, Lewis. Lewis.

[Christine]

Just drink it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Just drink it.

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis, is that mug with the muscles, Is that real or is that just. Can you get one of those?

[Christine]

You. Not yet, but we are. It's going to be on sale.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I jumped the gun on that.

[Robert Kelly]

How funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

I went, yeah, how funny how business is.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes.

[Christine]

Building demand.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, not yet, but they will be on sale. How about you give me one?

[Jay Oakerson]

They got to build demand.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm 5% owner of the company.

[Christine]

I gave you two bags of body Brain coffee.

[Robert Kelly]

You gave me one. And it was open, it was used. Yeah, I came. It was open.

[Jay Oakerson]

It was also. Mine was full of Folgers.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I sent you the Liver King coffee enema video.

[Jay Oakerson]

That's so funny. Yeah, dude, that muscle cup is gonna be. That's Lewis's version of the Joe Rogan gorilla face Kettlebell.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna be. I'm gonna wanna. If this coffee goes good, I'm gonna be in the Lewis sphere.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, dude, we're all going to jump right into the Louis sphere, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

The Gomez sphere.

[Christine]

Let me. Let's. Yeah, guys, get me rich and then, yeah, we'll all. We'll all just hang out in the Louis sphere.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, we're trying to get you rich, my friend. We want you rich. Rich.

[Jay Oakerson]

The angle Lewis gets rich and then leaves all of us behind. Go ahead, dude. Fucking sail. Ride, Captain, ride.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, we didn't make it all the money you wanted, but we're going to.

[Christine]

Put the rest in this thing showed up on Instagram earlier today. This is actually kind of a fucked up question because at first you're going to go, no, no way. But then we start to really think about it. So it was like, what? Would you take $2 trillion? Or essentially, would you take $2 trillion? But then whoever you consider your best friend, they will disappear from your life without a trace. No goodbye, no nothing. They're just gone. Not that they're dead. They just disappear completely. You can never communicate with them again. And there's no explanation for what happens? Sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Or.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wait, were you asking if I understood it? Because I was answering the question. Yeah, of course. Of course I would.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Who wouldn't do that? Who gives a about.

[Jay Oakerson]

I said. Well, that's what I'm saying. I have so many friends that I wouldn't even know as the best. So it's like if you're really telling me technically, when I take a chance that one of the friends from my life, of all of my friends, is gonna get taken away, sucked back to the mothership. Yeah, I. I'll go, yeah, yeah. And then we'll do what? He goes and he's gone.

[Christine]

What if they. They don't. They don't die, but they disappear like in the Avengers when Thanos.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Christine]

They just like turned to dust.

[Robert Kelly]

I do that. If you pay my mortgage off.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do I have to?

[Robert Kelly]

If you pay the 710 I owe.

[Jay Oakerson]

You would watch. You would watch me turn the dust and look at you as I. As I watch my own chest disappear and I look at you and I go, no.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd be like, bye.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then I just go turn to ash and slap you in the face with that. With black ash. Oh, no, I'm covered. I'm covered in Jay.

[Christine]

Probably would do it for $700,000.

[Robert Kelly]

7, 7, 10 and some body Brain coffee for life.

[Jay Oakerson]

Body Brain for life. Dude, take a break. Lewis, thank you so much for calling. Make sure you check out Body Brain coffee available right now. You can order it. Oh, yeah, get that.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. Make sure you check out. Check out Lewis. He's on the road and he's filming.

[Jay Oakerson]

A special that Bobby is.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Directing.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's going to be great.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's going to be amazing.

[Robert Kelly]

So make sure you check it out.

[Jay Oakerson]

Go to all see his.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at all this.

[Jay Oakerson]

And where are you going to be? Me? Oh, you know, I got Charlotte coming up. Tacoma. Me and Lewis are going to be in LA doing story wars.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice.

[Jay Oakerson]

We got three shows for sale, I believe today or soon and Sacramento bigj.

[Robert Kelly]

Comedy.Com go to get there. I'm going to be at the Empire Comedy Club.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's non stop touring punch up.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm doing one show and me and Donna separate. Separating.

[Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we're separating.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

So come down, girls. Come down. You mean who.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's just one of those like a summer separation.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a summer separation.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I know people used to do. This is good. This is good health. This is healthy. Make sure you go to punch up that live Robert Kelly for all his dates. We'll be right back after this break.