Unconventionally Handsome w/Mike Feeney

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: Unconventionally Handsome w/Mike Feeney
Release Date: July 31, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Unconventionally Handsome" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into a humorous and candid discussion about unconventional standards of attractiveness in the comedy and entertainment industry. Joined by their guest, Mike Feeney, the episode blends sharp humor with insightful commentary on appearances, personal anecdotes from the comedy scene, and light-hearted banter about fellow comedians and celebrities.

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Main Discussion Topics

1. Defining "Unconventional Handsomeness"

   The episode kicks off with Jay and Bobby exploring the idea of being "unconventionally handsome." They debate what makes someone attractive beyond conventional standards, highlighting unique features and personalities that contribute to one's appeal.

   • Jay Oakerson (00:32): "Power napping couple, power eating couple."
   • Robert Kelly (02:17): "We'd have barbecue and I'd fucking nap right on that areola."

2. Attraction and Personal Relationships

   The hosts humorously discuss their own romantic prospects, including playful comments about girls like Rebecca and Christine Scarlett Johansson, blending exaggerated scenarios to illustrate their points.

   • Robert Kelly (14:49): "Christine eating a giant turkey leg while sitting on her. Drinking beer out of a crazy mug stein."

3. Physical Appearances of Comedians and Celebrities

   Jay and Bobby critique and praise the physical appearances of various comedians and public figures, often juxtaposing their looks with their comedic talents. They touch upon figures such as Colin Jost, Paul Mooney, Dane Cook, Jeff Ross, and others, offering a mix of compliments and ribbing.

   • Jay Oakerson (23:00): "Dane Cook be go to after you got in shape."
   • Robert Kelly (29:23): "Paul does help. Yeah."

4. Stories from the Comedy World

   The hosts share personal anecdotes about interactions with notable comedians, including late arrivals, last-minute stage performances, and the unpredictable nature of live comedy shows. These stories highlight the camaraderie and occasional frustrations within the comedy community.

   • Jay Oakerson (35:04): "Paul Mooney, he got me a couple times at Caroline's."
   • Robert Kelly (37:21): "Rick used to host all the time. And Pete comes off. He goes, it's freaking queer."

5. Guest Feature: Mike Feeney's New Podcast

   Mike Feeney joins the conversation to promote his new podcast, "Co Host Wanted," discussing its premise and tour dates. The segment interweaves seamlessly with the hosts' ongoing banter, adding depth to the episode's content.

   • Jay Oakerson (34:02): "Mike Feeney's got a new podcast, everybody. It's called Co Host Wanted..."
   • Mike Feeney (40:47): "Prices keep going up. These days it feels like being on an elevator that only goes up..."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jay Oakerson (01:02): "And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly."
• Robert Kelly (09:18): "She wants to fill her up."
• Jay Oakerson (13:42): "Christine, look at the ass and the cellulite of the woman that would your world up in such record time."
• Robert Kelly (22:40): "If Giannis is your. Giannis is just handsome. No, not conventionally either."
• Jay Oakerson (35:59): "Mike Feeney's got a new podcast, everybody. It's called Co Host Wanted..."
• Robert Kelly (37:21): "Rick used to host all the time. And Pete comes off. He goes, it's freaking queer."

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Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, The Bonfire blends sharp wit with genuine camaraderie, exploring how beauty standards can be subjective and varied, especially within the comedic realm. Jay and Bobby emphasize that attractiveness isn't solely about traditional looks but also about personality, confidence, and unique traits. Their light-hearted critiques and humorous stories shed light on the multifaceted nature of relationships and fame in the entertainment industry.

Mike Feeney's participation adds an extra layer of depth, as he shares his experiences and promotes his endeavors, showcasing the collaborative spirit of the comedy community. The episode underscores the importance of individuality and authenticity, both on and off the stage, resonating with listeners who appreciate unfiltered and honest conversations.

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Additional Information

• Subscribe and Listen Live:
  The Bonfire airs live every Monday through Thursday at 5 PM Eastern/2 PM Pacific on SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103. Subscribers can access ad-free episodes a week early via SiriusXM Podcasts+.

• Mike Feeney’s Tour Dates:

  • August 29-30: Laughs Comedy Club, Seattle
  • Subsequent dates include Emmaus, Pennsylvania; Houston, Texas; New Orleans, Louisiana for Skank Fest; Tacoma, Washington; Sacramento, California, among others.

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Closing Remarks

The "Unconventionally Handsome" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary on the nature of attractiveness and relationships within the comedy scene. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode provides an engaging and entertaining exploration of what truly makes someone stand out in the vibrant world of comedy and beyond.

Transcript

[Jay Oakerson]

Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with far off drop offs.

[Christine Evans]

Dad, stop.

[Jay Oakerson]

Stop. Stop right here.

[Mike Feeney]

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[Jay Oakerson]

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[Mike Feeney]

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[Goto Bank Representative]

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[Listener]

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[Goto Bank Representative]

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[Listener]

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[Goto Bank Representative]

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[Big J Okerson]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude, I'm so stoked for Toto. Men at work.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And Christopher Cross.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm stoked to work at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're better on making a Friday.

[Robert Kelly]

Saturday. What?

[Jay Oakerson]

You could be with your friends watching Toto.

[Robert Kelly]

I could be with my friends watching Toto, enjoying my life. I'll be in Portland, Maine, with my family. What do you want to eat? Where do you want to go? What do you want to get?

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, the family's going up with you?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, of course. I can't. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

What? Leave them. Sure you can.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I can't. Yes, you can. Can't. Jay. Teach me how, buddy.

[Jay Oakerson]

You can walk away from them entirely like I did.

[Robert Kelly]

Teach me how, dude. Teach me how. So I got to get a side piece first.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like you got to do. You got to get some dunce. First thing you do is got to get some dunce to let you move in with them. When you make. When you clip the wing, you're going to have to jump somewhere else.

[Robert Kelly]

I tell you what. Is Rebecca with anybody?

[Jay Oakerson]

She is. But that guy will get booted if you make the move.

[Robert Kelly]

Me and Rebecca would be good together, you know that? We'd be a fucking power couple. I let her.

[Jay Oakerson]

Power napping couple, power eating couple.

[Robert Kelly]

Power dapping.

[Jay Oakerson]

She shucks you boil.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I just fall asleep on her tits every day. We. We'd have. We'd have barbecue and I'd fucking nap right on that fucking areola.

[Jay Oakerson]

I know you got. I feel like you and Rebecca would become like swingers energy though, too. Like, people come over and you go behind her a lot and like in her inner bathing sue go behind her like flapper tits up for everybody. Like, ah, look at these things. Still got it, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

I just wake up with her, oh, gal. Still got it sitting on my face going, just eat it, you.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll shave it afterwards.

[Robert Kelly]

Just eat it now. I know it smells like asparagus. Just shut up and eat. Don't be such a pussy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Our guest.

[Robert Kelly]

I believe you call me a pussy. You fucking call me a pussy. I'm not fucking. I'll lick it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Our guest joining us has a new podcast called Co Host Wanted. It's available right now on YouTube and wherever you listen to podcasts. It is the hilarious Mike Feeney.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, the best hair in the business.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, guys.

[Jay Oakerson]

Killer hair. Mike Feeney is, I'd say 85% of the female. When my hair was getting. Wasn't laying right, just kind of going forward anymore. He gave me the. The confidence to do the. The swoop, flip of the swoop.

[Robert Kelly]

The swoof.

[Big J Okerson]

It's this. It's going to.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's where the short turn. Where the short turns the long. Very defined.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you got to go. You got to go where your hair goes. That's what my person has taught me. You can't. If you. Everybody wants to. Would love to do the brush back like Leo or Brad Pitt. You can't do it if your hair is not. My hair is pushing forward.

[Jay Oakerson]

My hair's a forward.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it does it. You got to go where it goes.

[Robert Kelly]

You got any tips for me?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, good. About 25 years ago, I would have invest in hims. I guess they're doing great things in Turkey right now.

[Jay Oakerson]

Ground level hymns.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm wondering if I should get hair, if I should say it.

[Jay Oakerson]

You should get a system.

[Big J Okerson]

You got a good bald head, though. That's. That's like a very rare thing, is to have great. You have. You have no lumps. It's like a perfect.

[Jay Oakerson]

Lewis has a goodie. Jersey's got a goodie.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

My mom turned me every half hour in the crib when I was younger.

[Big J Okerson]

Just to make sure I didn't get any.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it was just to hit him on a different part of his body.

[Robert Kelly]

No, she sold me sexually.

[Jay Oakerson]

She had to show you people. She goes, this is his little tussy. This Is his nipples now.

[Robert Kelly]

Because you have. Your hair is mental. Have you ever grown it? Have you ever.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, it was. It was shoulder length in college. It was very wavy, very Jesus esque.

[Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Big J Okerson]

But then. Yeah, but then it's so hot, though.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, wavy's good.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, wavy's good. I got hammered once at a college party, and it was such a thing where, like, you just don't even pick up on the. On like, what someone's laying down. There was like three very hot women that were like, let's like, let me straighten your hair. Like, they were all trying to straighten my hair at a house party. And I was like, get out of here. I'm not. I was like. I was drinking with my roommates and I'm like, I'm not letting you straighten my. And meanwhile, it was like, well, can.

[Jay Oakerson]

I tell you something from a little bit of experience with this? And you may have been doing way better with chicks of that age than I could have dreamed of, but you were. When you go. When you go. When you go through and you head there and let them straighten your hair and do other stuff, you become their doll. A lot of times that story just ends with, like, them saying how great you are, but no one doing a goddamn thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, that makes me feel better.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's like you just went there. I. Dude, I have. Metzger used to have jokes about it, I think, but, like, let's say I've looked at a lot of photo albums at a girl's place in my life that I didn't end up fucking.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That's the thing too, though, with the long hair is like, I can't. You know, even when you had long hair, you always were able to have facial hair. Like, I had. No, I couldn't grow. I went a whole year in college without shaving at all, so. And nothing. And it was less than I have now. So, like, when you have long hair and absolute baby face, it doesn't. It doesn't, like, play.

[Robert Kelly]

It's surprising to me because your look is so showbiz.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so industry ready. It really is for a person who's never been even considered.

[Robert Kelly]

It drives me. It's baffling to me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Mike is built. Is built for hands and pockets of a suit.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

While he waits for the crowd.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

While you wait for the crowd to stop clapping and do the next joke.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

What else is news? Go over the band. Yeah. He goes, is this thing. You guys have heard about this.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, look, Chris DiStefano just hosted Kimmel. But I mean, I didn't buy looks like. I mean, he's good looking, but he's very neat Neanderthal good looking.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. He's jock good looking.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He's like. Yeah. Like his eye and sometimes he laughs like, what the is going on with his head?

[Odoo Representative]

Man's a monster.

[Robert Kelly]

You. He is a monster. You look fantastic.

[Big J Okerson]

I. Thank you. I. I appreciate that.

[Robert Kelly]

You would have done good in the, like. What was Dick Van Dyke on, like the 70s? You would have done great back then. I mean, look at. He's just. There's something wrong. There's something off with him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Guy's a gorgeous man, though.

[Robert Kelly]

He's good looking, but he's. Dare I say, unconventionally good looking. Like right there, look it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is he unconventionally good looking?

[Goto Bank Representative]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at him. Just do his eyes. You gotta. If you like, if you, if you piecemeal his face. It's not good.

[Big J Okerson]

You're saying it's not. It's not perpet, like angularly or no portion.

[Robert Kelly]

Zoom in on just his eyes. Go. His mouth.

[Big J Okerson]

He's got a good look.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. The guy's just on a basic level. Good look at Christine sogging.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you sweating over that? Christine wants nothing to do with him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You don't think so? No, no. She wants him to fill her up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, I heard he's got a big piece.

[Jay Oakerson]

Cream Pie City. Christine's ready to go. Cream Pie City with Christmas. I'm trying to get her. I'm trying to get early by Christopher 40th.

[Robert Kelly]

I just think that you are perfect visually for television. You should have been on something.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree and I still agree. And you know, I haven't turned it on.

[Jay Oakerson]

I haven't turned it down, you know. Yeah, it's really. It's just pointing out that he hasn't done this yet. Dude, you sound like when someone, a family member party and doesn't know how hard you work and what you try and the things you've tried and accomplished. And they go, why? Carson always made me laugh. Why don't you ever do that?

[Big J Okerson]

Do you know how many times I've had friends?

[Jay Oakerson]

You have. You have like a Fallon energy to you. Why are you not family members?

[Big J Okerson]

Family members will say, send me a picture of Colin Jost doing Weekend Update and be like, you should just do that.

[Robert Kelly]

You should, you should just do that. How come you don't do it?

[Big J Okerson]

You know what? I hadn't thought about it till now. Tell Colin he's out.

[Robert Kelly]

How funny would that be if you just Never tried. And now you did try and you got SNL like that.

[Big J Okerson]

It would be great.

[Jay Oakerson]

We thought about prison, ruling it, where you just go beat the living shit out of Joe's on set. It's live. And then see if Che grabs the bandana in your back pocket.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's like, then he becomes.

[Big J Okerson]

Then he's your bitch who wants to step up. I imagine Colin is not much, not much of a fighter. I would imagine so.

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't think so. Although he's gotten to a level of wealth and in a world with the famous wife where there could be a fucking jiu jitsu teacher at their house.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's what I think he does.

[Robert Kelly]

Wife is Black Widow, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

I think she could probably kick my ass. But I think he.

[Jay Oakerson]

Now let me say something right now and I don't want you to ever say something that self doubting again, okay? Everybody in this room except Christine can beat the living out of Scarlet.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know her. I don't know how tall she is or anything.

[Jay Oakerson]

It doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

But, well, I mean, you know.

[Jay Oakerson]

So Black Widow is a comic book. She's Scarlet Johansson.

[Robert Kelly]

So wasn't Black Panther. It didn't stop Godfrey from going Wakanda forever when he left the cellar every night.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. I do think that I do. 5, 3, 126. Oh, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Come on, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I think Christine. Christine can beat her, dude.

[Listener]

Sit on her.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine, are you. Oh my God. Can you. I'm going to leave that fight. I'm not going to see you win. If my girlfriend wins a fight by sitting on another woman. Yeah, they'll go. I'd rather. I'd rather go lick fucking Scarlett Johansson's wounds and be the person of the woman who was sitting on her at the end.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I believe.

[Jay Oakerson]

Eating a giant. Christine eating a giant turkey leg while sitting on her. Drinking beer out of a crazy mug stein. A big stein like ogre.

[Big J Okerson]

I do.

[Jay Oakerson]

I do feel she'll fuck you up, Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't worry. I think that Jost probably has done some like glam boxing, you know what I mean, where it's more of workout, but he's doing like 1, 2, 3. But I don't think it's practical use.

[Robert Kelly]

I used to do that with Keith Robinson and Amy Schumer.

[Jay Oakerson]

Right? Health, health boxing.

[Robert Kelly]

We did health boxing. I thought I did really real boxing. And then he put me in the ring with a little Filipino woman And this little Mrs. Pacquiao beat the fuck out of me. Mama Pacquiao Mama Pacquiao kicked the shit out of me.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. There you go.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, you have that look. You have that old.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but here's the problem. There's only allowed to be one of them on television at a time now.

[Robert Kelly]

Ten years ago, we were allowed. All of us.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We can only have one guy now.

[Big J Okerson]

Mulaney is the other one that got on. But now he's got. He's got a different thing now.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta do drug.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think he's. I think he's pretty swole. Yeah, I think Colin. I think Colin and the niece. Yeah, there's a picture for sure. Men's Health swole.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, really? I thought you meant. I think.

[Jay Oakerson]

I think he's gotten pretty.

[Big J Okerson]

You mean he's. He's. He's getting pretty ripped.

[Jay Oakerson]

Think so?

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like I'm getting pretty ripped.

[Jay Oakerson]

Buddy, I'm gonna. Your body's a wonderland.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm becoming. I'm becoming. This is the year I become a real Christie's goofy looking.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm gonna say Christie's goofy looking. You guys are losers. You're just kissing his ass because you like him.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not a.

[Robert Kelly]

He's a goofy.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's not a best picture.

[Robert Kelly]

Is he a goofy looking.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not a great picture of him. He looks very sleep deprived. Sunken in eyes.

[Robert Kelly]

That's his face.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I've seen the guy.

[Robert Kelly]

DJ lose.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me see what. Let me see what Jost is working with. Oh, he's. He's actually like bigger than I thought.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, we're looking at pictures of his right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Shirtless, surfing. It just didn't load up yet.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's great.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm loading up right now. Get it up there, baby.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, he's just one of two. Yeah, I did, but he doesn't. He didn't look like he was in. He didn't look like it didn't look.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like it was shredded?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Like it was thicker than you thought.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, thicker. Definitely thicker.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's also older than we think, I bet.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he's. He's probably at most 40, I would imagine.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I might even say 39. Oh, wow.

[Robert Kelly]

He's pretty.

[Listener]

That's older than me.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Is that possible?

[Listener]

No. Maybe a couple years older.

[Robert Kelly]

He's 45.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's 38.

[Big J Okerson]

38.

[Robert Kelly]

He's younger than you. Oh, my gosh.

[Listener]

We don't know when this article is written.

[Robert Kelly]

We do 20. 20.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. Oh, good. So now I got. I got age on him too. I got speed Here. And he's surfing. Oh, he's got surfing.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never seen Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, that quick. Significantly, he's significantly bigger than I thought he was.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he's got like a little shape to him there.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he definitely. But here's the problem. You can see the legs. He's just doing. He's just doing bench press.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wait, wait, I saw a little dad tit from the side.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's got dad tit right there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Gotta find, gotta find something.

[Robert Kelly]

Little estrogen tit.

[Big J Okerson]

Something to break him down.

[Jay Oakerson]

I would choke out a homeless guy to have his body.

[Big J Okerson]

Are they both. Are they surfing together?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it. That's awesome.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not in shape at all, Jay. I mean, he's Dan Cook now.

[Listener]

He's in shape.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, he's not. I, I get what you're saying. The lean overs don't hold shape well.

[Robert Kelly]

But I. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's. He's not. He's got.

[Big J Okerson]

But again, this is also five years ago. We're talk.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, but he's not in shape.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's five years ago. Get him shirtless now.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he might have saw that photo and got his shit together.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's possible because I'll tell you what, that was a good like. Listen, if you got a picture of my body, if I was laying flat on my back and sucking my stomach in. Dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'm built like a fucking 1950s weightlifter.

[Robert Kelly]

You're built like the original Superman.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes. If I lay on my back and suck in my thing. Whenever I go on the bench press thing, I just lay there, I just do that and I go like, wow.

[Odoo Representative]

My waist is this thin.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. A little barrel chested in shape.

[Jay Oakerson]

Christine, look at the ass and the cellulite of the woman that would your world up in such record time.

[Listener]

I would beat her up.

[Jay Oakerson]

You think so?

[Robert Kelly]

You can't be.

[Big J Okerson]

I think so.

[Listener]

She weighs 123 pounds.

[Jay Oakerson]

Stop telling people how much you weigh.

[Robert Kelly]

How much do you weigh? What?

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You would. You would.

[Robert Kelly]

No, but is that because she has thick Armenian bones?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, because she. This girl won't.

[Robert Kelly]

She like.

[Jay Oakerson]

She will not weigh herself. Holding bowling ball.

[Robert Kelly]

Is she? Wolverine.

[Jay Oakerson]

She juggles. She juggles three bowling balls while she weighs herself. I don't know what the. She said she has metal bones in.

[Big J Okerson]

Her, but yeah, I think this will be. I think what we're all saying is. We all agree I should. 65 is my sort of relationship.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're Bobby's goal weight. You happy?

[Listener]

Well, 125 is my goal weight.

[Jay Oakerson]

So happens 125 is my goal weight for you. I said a goal weight for Christina. Myself. I'll be whatever I'm gonna be. Who knows? Scarlett Johansson, though, I'm saying just for her physical training alone, that she's done for the movies would fucking annihilate you.

[Big J Okerson]

There's no way, dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, not yet.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. I'm saying Christina. I'm saying if. Now, if you're talking about a sanctioned. How many rounds?

[Jay Oakerson]

Christina's never raised her hand in aggression ever.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but could she use.

[Big J Okerson]

But here's what I'm saying is if this is like a. If this is like a celebrity boxing match kind of a thing, I think I'm gonna give the edge to Scarlett Johansson because she's probably got enough training where she's probably got a lot of cardio. But if you're talking street fight, just take and just.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine has J Rage hidden.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Listener]

I've been loving him for a really long time.

[Robert Kelly]

And if she releases. If she releases that on this, that's what I'm. She's dead.

[Big J Okerson]

She goes thing where she's just bad.

[Robert Kelly]

I was listening. If it just comes out, Christine's gonna.

[Big J Okerson]

Look like Mel Gibson at the end of the Patriot when he's just that woman in the ravine.

[Jay Oakerson]

We have an avenue into the green. We've already been do it. We've already been in a shoebox of a room with Che. Colin.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

My daughter Isabella. Christine Scarjo could have went down right there. No, she wasn't feeling froggy that day. Now, look, that was nowhere.

[Robert Kelly]

But she might have to. She might have to summons.

[Jay Oakerson]

We're gonna get back in that age. We're get back in that room. And next time I will assure that you and Scarlett Johansson fist fight.

[Listener]

I have no desire to fist fight Scarlett Johansson. I'm just saying, were a fist fight to happen, I would win.

[Jay Oakerson]

What do you think? You think Jos is gonna jump in? Because I wish he would. Me and you fucking laying out Jost and Che's gonna be happy about it.

[Robert Kelly]

And then you become Mike'. Then get 10% of him filling in.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll give any. Any agent 10% that wants to get me on.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the saddest shit I've ever heard.

[Big J Okerson]

That'll get me on. That'll get me a couple million a year.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay, can we. Can we try to get him on snl?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Jay, use your pole.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely. We could definitely kneecap Galuly Colin Jones. I'm telling you now, it's the fight of the century to me. Me and Christine V. The josts, the jokes. Special guest referee. Handsome Chris Estefano.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he's not handsome. He's unconventionally good looking. Not handsome. You guys are both losers that don't want to say something mean.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dude, why listen. But I like Stavros too. Never described him as handsome once in my entire life.

[Robert Kelly]

He's adorable.

[Jay Oakerson]

He is adorable.

[Robert Kelly]

He's adorable. Not handsome.

[Jay Oakerson]

Correct.

[Robert Kelly]

But my point is, I would say Chris is adorable.

[Big J Okerson]

Adorable. I would say no savvy's adorable.

[Robert Kelly]

Unconventionally good looking.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's not a conventional.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's so conventional.

[Big J Okerson]

It's just a jock. Yeah, it's got the jock.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Caveman.

[Jay Oakerson]

If you think Schultz is very good looking, you'd have to say he's unconventionally good.

[Robert Kelly]

I say he's not conventionally good looking.

[Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

I say Feeney good looking.

[Jay Oakerson]

Pete Davidson, unconventionally good looking. Unbelievable.

[Robert Kelly]

Unconventionally. Chrissy D. Is unconventionally good.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're wrong about that.

[Robert Kelly]

100 you are.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll take the poll. We'll put the poll up.

[Jay Oakerson]

Joe Derosa, unconventionally handsome.

[Robert Kelly]

Unconventionally. What you mean unconventionally ugly?

[Jay Oakerson]

How dare you.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not even ugly. Normal. He's a weird ugly. He looks like somebody made him.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't you dare.

[Robert Kelly]

They took potty parts of white people, Arabs and fucking Jewish people and put them all together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Let's go. Let's go. On the pike. Louis.

[Robert Kelly]

Get this fucking.

[Big J Okerson]

But Ken, now. Do you think you're taking Derosa in a fight? Bobby, now. It's a triple threat match.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll fuck Derosa up. Still get chipping. We wrote that book together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Do no.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't start that fight though, because throws would you up.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, oh, really?

[Big J Okerson]

Now you just got fest baby.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, let's do it. Let's do it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I just. I will grab buddy. I know what you think you would. I know you think you would.

[Big J Okerson]

I love this because there's definitely. There's definitely.

[Jay Oakerson]

I care about you.

[Big J Okerson]

You got weight on him. He's got height on you. I mean, it'll be.

[Robert Kelly]

It's so funny though, when somebody really does that. It makes you go, wait a minute, does he know him? I don't know.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're not going to realize you got punched until you see his hand coming.

[Robert Kelly]

Back out of my chest with my heart in it.

[Jay Oakerson]

The guy's got a level of speed. You will not be able to keep up with him. He will drop your shit.

[Robert Kelly]

He's going to Use some old Arab techniques he learned from his great grandfather.

[Big J Okerson]

Throw sand in your face.

[Jay Oakerson]

How about this? Louis?

[Robert Kelly]

Weird dagger with diamonds on it and emeralds.

[Jay Oakerson]

Louis J. Gomez, unconventionally Handsome Dave Smith. Just handsome.

[Big J Okerson]

It's just handsome.

[Robert Kelly]

Dave Smith is handsome Dave Smith. As a, as a man, he got handsome. As a boy, nerdy, Nerdy, Unconventional. But as a man, as he got older, he got. He got good.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, that's a young picture of Dave there.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. As a man, he got, he filled out.

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[Robert Kelly]

But Chris D. Unconventionally, you're just wrong about it. 100% right. He's got a. He's got a caveman forehead.

[Jay Oakerson]

If Giannis is your. Giannis is just handsome. No, not conventionally either.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know about that. Giannis is. He's good looking, but he's not.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, no, here's the thing. No, I'm just talking about the most basic level of like, dude, I'm not talking about. Everyone here is a Brad Pitt, right? But there's good looking and there's someone who's just not even good looking.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm not saying that Chris D. Is not good looking. Can we please.

[Big J Okerson]

He's attractive.

[Robert Kelly]

He's. He's attractive, but he's not. If you're talking good look, I say Tim Buddily is better looking than him.

[Jay Oakerson]

You're in your fucking mind.

[Robert Kelly]

That was a little too fun. That was a little crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

I think Tim Butler's very handsome fellow.

[Robert Kelly]

When he looks at you in the eyes. But who do you think is the best looking comedian male.

[Big J Okerson]

Best looking male.

[Robert Kelly]

Take yourself, take yourself.

[Jay Oakerson]

Don't worry.

[Big J Okerson]

Face, face or full body.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm talking the total package.

[Big J Okerson]

Or just because it matters, though, because some people have shitty bodies.

[Jay Oakerson]

There's times. There's times. At one point I would have said there was a. A moment in time where at least something like the local like New York seeing things. Gulman, who's that?

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, both of you. Everybody in your. That's what's underneath everything.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, he had to figure that out.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you figure that out.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, he had to sort some out.

[Big J Okerson]

It's still there, dude. I guarantee he posted that under like threat of blackmail and he just was trying to get ahead of it.

[Robert Kelly]

That is still there. You can still see that.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's a rough one.

[Robert Kelly]

I can still see it.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

I've seen that one too. Where he has got.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at. Look, look. Yeah, no, I'm glad that they got back together though. History heinous. They were good together.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah. You know, doubt two handsome dudes.

[Robert Kelly]

I have a. I have a. I mean they're good looking guys but they're.

[Jay Oakerson]

Not a couple handsome dudes working things out.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to see if I have. I have a picture who's our best.

[Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I did a young Dane cook in his prime because very few.

[Big J Okerson]

Comedians you ever watch, you ever saw with the tank top to see the actual definition of the thing. He was definitely good.

[Robert Kelly]

There was. There was. There was two years with Dane Cook. And I'm telling you this right now. He got fat because he's a fatty, because he likes his kfc. I mean, he don't even share kfc. Like, I mean we got chicken and he got mashed potatoes. He got an extra mashed potato with gravy. I was like, hey, can I get some of that potato? He goes, nah, dude, I eat my potatoes. I was like, oh, wow, what a fatso.

[Big J Okerson]

He's also.

[Jay Oakerson]

But he didn't order. He didn't order fat. You're a guy who knew how to order fat.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he orders fat. He taught me fat. He's the one who taught me to get three large McDonald's fries.

[Jay Oakerson]

No one teach you that?

[Robert Kelly]

He taught me that. He said, get three large fries. That way you'll never run out of fries. You won't eat all three, but you'll see. But he goes, the worst thing about McDonald's fries is when you reach in and there's that one left. He goes, I learned how to not do that. Three large in a bag and then you're.

[Big J Okerson]

He's actually not as in shape as I thought he was. His arms are very skinny.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Jay Oakerson]

He was always built like. Like young Adam Levine. You know what I mean? Just like basic. Like I thought he had.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. You got the wrong. This is. This is theater nerd Arlington just out of Boston. Dane Cook be go to after you got in shape. Remember the photo of him in a suit when he did that, when he did that photo shoot? Right there, Right there. There it is. This Dane Cook, when he started making movies, he got a trainer. He got all this stuff. He started doing all kinds of. Who is the most guy.

[Big J Okerson]

This is a hard. This is a hard.

[Robert Kelly]

Ryan Hamilton is He in the. No.

[Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

All right.

[Jay Oakerson]

Jeff Ross. Yeah, I'll say it.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, Jeff Ross needs help.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn.

[Jay Oakerson]

What are you saying? But the damn Ding Cook picture. Now I know.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wait. He's had a lot of work done. Okay, what do you got?

[Robert Kelly]

Throw one in.

[Jay Oakerson]

Sure. Always thought this comedian was handsome when he came in. Bill Cosby.

[Big J Okerson]

Jeff Leach. He's got. But he's got. He's got.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Jeff Leach for the hottest male comedian.

[Robert Kelly]

But then when he starts to talk, you understand he.

[Jay Oakerson]

Again, I think Jeff undeniably, on a basic level, Jeff Leach had a good looking face.

[Robert Kelly]

Jeff Dye has comb over here. I love him. Good looking guy. Get it. Get it done, dude. Spend the money.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

He's got Steve Byrne here.

[Jay Oakerson]

It might be done now. He may have got it done.

[Robert Kelly]

I think he's got Muppet hair. He's got Burton Bernie.

[Jay Oakerson]

I saw him recently. I don't remember it being Bernie Eart and Bernie.

[Big J Okerson]

Burton. Ernie.

[Robert Kelly]

Burton Ernie hair.

[Jay Oakerson]

No, it's different. They had different in Boston. Bernie.

[Robert Kelly]

Sorry, I forgot. You can't make mistakes on the show.

[Jay Oakerson]

That was on the nesting. That was.

[Big J Okerson]

Someone has a two and a half year old.

[Jay Oakerson]

That was in the nesting network. Bernie. Jeff Leach.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that little. Look at me. I was adorable.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's off now.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at the. Ah.

[Jay Oakerson]

And I gotta be honest, Jeff Leach is an aging.

[Big J Okerson]

What's happening? Where's that coming? Is that your phone?

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's phone does now.

[Robert Kelly]

It just makes. It just makes. It makes video montage of what's going on.

[Jay Oakerson]

Bobby's phone vibrates.

[Robert Kelly]

It just makes a montage of. Oh, all the photos. I. I have a photo of Chrissy D that he sent me once and every once in a while I'll send it to him and he just gets sad because it's the worst picture.

[Listener]

Picture. Yeah, that's the one I'm trying to find. It's not coming up.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I don't know. They're really. Comedy's not a. Not a wealth of highly attractive individuals.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, wait a minute.

[Jay Oakerson]

Steve Byrne, good looking dude. Let me get. Take a couple points off because he's Asian.

[Robert Kelly]

What? I wouldn't say that. You said that.

[Jay Oakerson]

But you were thinking you have a point. You mouthed it to me and I said the words.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's see. Dove Davidoff. No, his head's too.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dave's good looking guy though.

[Robert Kelly]

Pete Corioli, good looking guy for sure.

[Jay Oakerson]

But again, that's crazy. Not the best.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we're talking about Apex.

[Jay Oakerson]

Russ Maneve at a time.

[Robert Kelly]

Russ Maneve. At a time. And I just saw him a couple weeks ago. He's still not. Is he? Oh, I'm sorry. You made a little. He's looking. His hair.

[Jay Oakerson]

He'll tell the reason why.

[Robert Kelly]

I think he got. He got, he got the space wig. Looks fantastic.

[Jay Oakerson]

Russ.

[Robert Kelly]

Russ looks great.

[Big J Okerson]

Space wig.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Judah Friedlander. We haven't mentioned him yet.

[Jay Oakerson]

Our own dance looks like in years.

[Big J Okerson]

Best of best, best looking.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He's not.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who is Dan?

[Big J Okerson]

So remember we had to.

[Jay Oakerson]

We pulled him up.

[Robert Kelly]

Dan's unconventionally good. He's Dan unconventionally.

[Jay Oakerson]

Unconventionally good looking.

[Robert Kelly]

He's unconventionally good looking. He's got. He's got beautiful eyes. He's got beautiful eyes.

[Jay Oakerson]

There isn't anything glaringly wrong with his face. He's tall, famous, successful. So that makes him like a 9.5 to women.

[Big J Okerson]

Paul does help. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I think romantic comedy movie.

[Big J Okerson]

Goldman was probably up there.

[Jay Oakerson]

Kristen.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he was very tall. I'm thinking of tall male comedians.

[Robert Kelly]

Dan has strong features.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dan's a handsome guy. I'm just saying. But it is. I think it is uncomfortable. I would argue it's unconventional. For sure.

[Big J Okerson]

He does look like a Greek soccer player.

[Robert Kelly]

Gallman was. Gallman was a good looking guy.

[Listener]

My friend Becky dubbed him the Disney prince of comedy.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, he does have Disney prince kind of face.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Years ago, if you go back to like a 2000, Rogan was good looking.

[Robert Kelly]

Back in the day. Shredded. Good looking. He's not. Was he small?

[Jay Oakerson]

No, I was. I was measuring Jacob for a roller coaster.

[Robert Kelly]

So you're saying. Wait a minute. So height matters? You have to be at least.

[Big J Okerson]

Definitely matters.

[Jay Oakerson]

Well, that's the question for Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

There he is. I mean, he's a good looking dude.

[Jay Oakerson]

Wow. I bet he wishes this didn't exist.

[Big J Okerson]

The outfit or the hair?

[Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. It's such a different. Like, what are we looking at Joe Rogan looking at back in the day.

[Robert Kelly]

Wearing a Las Vegas shiny shirt? When you have a residency in Las Vegas, they give you that from the Palms. But I want to hear him. I bet his confidence is nuts. Oh, wow. He's stoned. I miss Conan. I love him. He was great.

[Jay Oakerson]

He's in the building.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I miss him. You know what I mean? Dumb.

[Jay Oakerson]

Dumb of the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, stupid. I mean, I like, that's how much.

[Big J Okerson]

The industry has changed too. It's like when I started comedy, I was like, man, all I want to do is get on that show now. Now, all these years later, I'm like, maybe I can do Conan's podcast someday.

[Robert Kelly]

I think that was. He was the best. He was the funnest most.

[Jay Oakerson]

He was the.

[Big J Okerson]

He gave the most freedom to comedians and stuff like that. I mean, that Rory Scoville and what's his name?

[Jay Oakerson]

John Doerr.

[Big J Okerson]

John Doerr Set. I mean, they did multiple times. But the guitar.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, the one I know is the. It's the ones. The security guard or the cedar and the other ones on stage.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, can you do my job and.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I'll do your job. Yeah. Then he comes over and like the security guy starts in comedy and John Thor goes over and acts like Conan o' Brien when starts fucking with.

[Big J Okerson]

That one's great, but I think the other one is even better. Where they do that. The top one there, where they do the double book, the simultaneous set, which is like, dude. And you guys know to be able to deliver your joke and not have to hear the person. The person next to you is talking full volume, delivering and not get distracted. Neither of them even flub a single word. It's as if they're in their own separate.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's practiced heavily, for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, of course. But like to not even flinch.

[Robert Kelly]

Explain who this is.

[Jay Oakerson]

Rory Scoville and John Doerr and they.

[Robert Kelly]

Come out and do.

[Jay Oakerson]

They're comedians from not comedy clubs.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Rory Scoville. So goddamn hilarious.

[Robert Kelly]

And they just do a John Door.

[Jay Oakerson]

John Doors.

[Big J Okerson]

They said they double booked it by accident. So they agreed to both do time.

[Robert Kelly]

He's doing a light Dane Cook.

[Jay Oakerson]

It's so funny. It's.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so good. Dude. I watch this like three times a year. And then in the end. And then like. And then the end, he pulls out a guitar skip does it and then it. All of a sudden and he's like still doing his other bit. It's so crazy. Oh, he does the classic.

[Robert Kelly]

He's doing hands improv.

[Big J Okerson]

Being able to sing and play guitar and not be distracted. It's crazy.

[Jay Oakerson]

Can I ask a question about the hands between the arms improv game?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's the best.

[Jay Oakerson]

Is it always to get someone in the black circuit? Where I started, it was a hack thing already. Even when I started in 97 or whatever. I mean, improv, it's. Yeah, yeah. I mean, some people it's redundant.

[Robert Kelly]

Some people closed the show with that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Of course, you're bottom of the barrel.

[Robert Kelly]

Out of the monkeys. That would be our second to last improv.

[Jay Oakerson]

Of course.

[Robert Kelly]

And we called them. We called them games, Jay.

[Jay Oakerson]

But was it about. In the black community, when there's somebody. It was Always about getting the girl. Getting a girl to grab your dick.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, No, I don't think that's what it's supposed. That's what it is normally at all, but I have seen videos of like, black comics doing that and they're like, murdering.

[Robert Kelly]

In the improv world. In the improv world, it's frowned upon. It's frowned upon, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Getting the grab your dick.

[Robert Kelly]

We would never do that. We would always go the hard route and pick like a older gentleman who really wasn't into it.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

If you wanted to go for the art of the the game, going to.

[Jay Oakerson]

Get a fine, a finance big booty bitch to grab up on their shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Grab up on their dicks.

[Big J Okerson]

Rory Scoville, by the way, talk about a glow up. He looks way better now than he did in that video. His hair is.

[Robert Kelly]

You really love this guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I did. You know what? I've never met Rory Scoville, but I'm here to say, tremendous fan. I think he is so funny.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he does.

[Big J Okerson]

He does.

[Robert Kelly]

Like a. Rory's not gonna get you on SNL now.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at that.

[Jay Oakerson]

Did glow up for sure.

[Listener]

Gone from New York for a long time.

[Big J Okerson]

Long, long time. But I. I saw him in an airport once and we were passing each other and I almost had that thing where I was like, ah, forget. Is it the thing being like, I'm a comic and you're a comic and you're. Forget it.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then he let. And he walked by and was like, I guess Mike Feeney actually doesn't know anybody. Well, we're just friends. He goes, I know that guy, but I don't know if he knows me. And I don't want to make it weird.

[Big J Okerson]

That's exactly.

[Robert Kelly]

I did that to Paul Mooney at an airport. I was like, hey, what's up, Paul? And he just went, hmm.

[Jay Oakerson]

That was a shitty, shitty human being. Yeah, Paul Mooney, he got me a couple times at Caroline's. I'd open for him a handful of times. And like, I said, the time that he showed up, like an hour and a half late for the show and I had to do like 35 minutes or something. Like, they'd already put several people on and they called me, I was home, and they go, hey, we're running out of, like, people to put on. And like, are you around at all? And of course I'll that young in comedy. You're like, yeah, yeah, I'm right on the corner.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'd be there in 40 minutes. But they said I had time when I got on stage, he was still, like, landing. And then when he got there and they took me off stage, I didn't know how. They never told me how long I was gonna be on. They just kept giving me, like, a stretch. Yeah, yeah. And I just kept going. And when I got off, I just thought it was neat. Like, the guy goes, Mr. Mooney. He goes, this is Jay. He goes. He saved the day today. And, like, really came through, kept the crowd going. And he just goes. He's standing in front of the door of the green room, but he was inside of it, and I was standing on the outside in the hallway. And he goes, jay saved the day, huh? And then just closed the door, like, almost.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, he's big. He's right.

[Big J Okerson]

That sucks.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I just think. I wasn't asking for any coup. It was like the manager was just doing like a. Hey, this would be a good way for you to meet him, too. I'll let him know that. Like, hey, this guy. Thank you. Like, yeah, yeah. And by the way. Cause if the same thing happened to me when they brought me to meet. When they brought that guy to meet me, I'd be like, dude, you are a lifesaver. Thank you so much. Like, that's what a. How a human being reacts.

[Big J Okerson]

Human being. Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Not a furious, closeted gay guy who.

[Robert Kelly]

Been fucking comics in the ass for six.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Gaping asshole in a bandolero hat.

[Robert Kelly]

Pretty sure he Marlon Brando. What does he give a about you for?

[Jay Oakerson]

It was Sting.

[Robert Kelly]

Todd lynched me out a few times. I fucked the Godfather.

[Jay Oakerson]

Shit, dude. He was a nasty, nasty guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Paul Mooney. But yeah, then. So he's dead. I was standing in front of Caroline. I was standing in front of Caroline's one time when I found that out. The first time somebody told me, they go, oh, Paul Mooney's baba with his gay ass. Or something like that. And I was like, gay. Like, Paul Mooney's gay. And they go. And they just point to the picture that I'm standing in front of the giant poster, and it's him with, like, little tiny black glasses, and his hat is tied under his chin like Brian Fellows Safari Planet. And he's just, like, smiling. He's like. And it's like, is he gay? And as I ask questions, I go, paul Mooney's gay. Of course Paul Mooney's. Right away in your head, you go. If anybody would have said it another time before, I would go, yes, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

Pete Coreali did that to me with Rick Chrome. I was at the Cellar. Rick used to host all the time. And Pete comes off. He goes, it's freaking queer. I go, who? He goes, rick Chrome.

[Big J Okerson]

It's nice of you to censor what he actually.

[Robert Kelly]

I have to or Jacob will. I goes. I go, get who? Rick? He goes, yeah, he's gay. I go, he's not gay. And he goes, look in there. And I looked at. He's on the piano going, hello, my baby. Hello, my dog. Oh, hey, hey, hey, girls. Who wants to. I was like, I never saw it.

[Jay Oakerson]

I guess I didn't want to see it. Mike Feeney's got a new podcast, everybody. It's called Co Host Wanted with Mike Feeney on YouTube.com Ike Feeney comedy. That's F E E N E Y Mike Feeney comedy. And wherever you listen to podcasts, he's also going to be at Laughs Comedy club in Seattle, August 29th and 30th. After that, he's going to be in Emmaus, Pennsylvania. Houston, Texas. New Orleans, Louisiana, for Skank Fest. For tickets and all other tour dates go to Mike Feeney comedy dot com. Make sure you go check out Bobby this weekend in Empire up in Portland, Maine. Next weekend I'll be in Tacoma, Washington. Then we're doing the Story wars in LA and then going right to Sacramento. You can figure it out from there.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

I'll be seeing Toto on Friday and Pantera on Saturday.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll be in a small club in Portland, Maine.

[Jay Oakerson]

For the rest of your life if.

[Robert Kelly]

You sell out eating lobster fucking rolls.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, you know that there's a huge. There was a huge drama with our Story wars episode.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yes. There might have been some.

[Robert Kelly]

What the fuckery. Why would you bring it up now?

[Jay Oakerson]

Kim Patterson may have broken a rule.

[Big J Okerson]

He may have finalized a vote and then gone back and somehow in front of five people, nobody notices. Took it back, changed his answer, and guess who won by one point.

[Robert Kelly]

Him.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

You can't just accuse the only black I ever seen.

[Big J Okerson]

This was after. This was after multiple people being like, you are robbed.

[Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but I feel like they were white also.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way they described was very unsavory.

[Jay Oakerson]

Enjoy the. Enjoy finding out about Bobby's. I can only describe family, crushing, problematic relationship with his phone or tomorrow on the show, solution or maybe a solution.

[Robert Kelly]

Or be a solution to my problems.

[Jay Oakerson]

Who knows?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm looking for apartments in the East Village.

[Jay Oakerson]

You and your phone are looking at Tompkins Square Place.

[Robert Kelly]

She wants a lot.

[Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, she really does. Want a loft? It's Christine's birthday weekend. When she comes back on air. Yeah, she's gonna be fucking gross and 40 if natural causes don't take her this weekend.

[Robert Kelly]

If we don't know if she's gonna.

[Jay Oakerson]

Make it through the weekend, no one knows. Happy 40th. Happy 40th. Celebration weekend. She's celebrating like a black chick this weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, all month.

[Robert Kelly]

And then Monday she's gonna have multigrain toast.

[Jay Oakerson]

And then Monday she's gonna have to start taking Centrum Silver.

[Robert Kelly]

See you guys. Have a great weekend.

[Big J Okerson]

Crackle, crackle.

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Mike Feeney]

Prices keep going up. These days it feels like being on an elevator that only goes up, going up. But not at Metro. We're pushing the down button. We've lowered prices. Get one line of 5G data for $40, period. That's 20% lower. And you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number. Only at Metro.

[Prolon Representative]

Five year guarantee on eligible plans. Exclusions apply. See website for details. Not available. Fab Metro with T Mobile in the past six months. Tax supplies.