Vos Cookout Complaints

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Episode: Vos Cookout Complaints

Date: July 7, 2026

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Overview

This episode dives into classic Bonfire territory with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly recounting their hilarious, brutally honest experiences attending fellow comedian Rich Vos's recent cookout. With colorful complaints, affectionate roasting, and quintessentially candid banter, Jay, Bobby, and friends dissect the art of hosting (and failing at) a barbecue, share stories from the comedy circuit, and riff on everything from suburban living to DJ mishaps. The episode is a comedic masterclass on friendship, dysfunctional gatherings, and the inside world of comics offstage.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Mystery Song and ADHD (01:07–06:54)

• The crew riffs on the classic rock song "When the Bullet Hits the Bone," debating the technical musical term "the middle six," and revealing their habits of replaying songs—a possible ADHD trait.
• Notable Quote:
  • Don: "Do you know listening to the same song over and over again is a form of ADHD?" (04:13)

2. The Art of Holding Court—and Being Interrupted (02:40–05:15)

• Playful arguments ensue on who commands the room and how easily it’s derailed by side chat or technology, especially phone games.
• Jay and Christine jab about multi-tasking during conversations, specifically blaming phone "Zen games" for missing show moments.

3. Women Remember Everything—Except (05:19–06:41)

• Gender stereotypes get run through the comic wringer as Christine and Don joke about the memory skills of women, men’s stories getting twisted, and the misadventures around the parking lot.

4. Garage Music and Masculinity (06:10–10:06)

• The show pivots to "garage music" versus "city music" and the elusive rite of passage—a man with a garage. They riff on which music is appropriate for car-fixing versus apartment life.

5. The Saga of Vos’s Cookout

a. Invitations and Absent Guests (10:10–12:09)

• Christine admits she would have forgotten Vos’s cookout if not for Don’s insistence; most of their comic peers apparently skipped it.
• Absences of Colin, Norton, and Lewis trigger conspiracy theories and good-natured digs.

b. Bonnie’s Skateboarding Era (09:09–12:11)

• Attention turns to Rich’s wife Bonnie, whose evolution into an "aging skateboard kid" both surprises and delights the gang.
• Memorable Exchange:
  • Don: “Every barbecue, she turns more into a young skateboard boy.” (09:10)
  • Christine: "I am blown away when a woman can do anything. We're watching videos of women skateboarding here. I am blown away when they can do it." (11:24)
• They joke that Bonnie’s midlife adventures are symbolic of empty-nest freedom and comic marriages under strain.

c. Vos’s Country Living (13:08–14:38)

• Jokes abound about Vos's long commute ("Amish country") and the comedy of living many minutes off the highway.
• Christine: “It was almost 20 miles. Not on the highway.” (13:13)

d. The "Victorian Room" and Estate Sale Follies (14:47–15:55)

• Vos proudly displays his estate sale art, comically exaggerating their value (“$35,000!”), only for real-time appraisals to bring him to reality (“$1,500”).
• Don: “I can’t wait till he grabs his chest and that week Bonnie just dumps all that on the lawn and people get it for nothing.” (15:55)

e. The Lonely DJ and Awkward Toast (17:17–19:45)

• The party’s lowlight: a supposed “DJ” sequestered under a tent, ignored by all guests.
• Voss’s failed toast brings everyone together for a non-event, featuring an inaudible prank recording as entertainment.
• Christine: “The DJ is like, hang on, Rich, we got a special surprise for you. And then he plays at an extraordinary low, unhearable volume. An old prank..." (19:19)

6. Comic Fashion Wars and "Single White Female" Dynamics (20:34–24:43)

• Josh (comic and friend) arrives and insists Bobby’s influenced his entire fashion sense—sneakers, bags, fingernail paint—much to the group’s disbelief and entertainment.
• Christine: “Are you single white femaleing me slowly?” (24:21)
• Don: "You're the only they/them in our group that paints their fingernails." (24:18)

7. Cookout Food Fiascos

a. The Smashed Burger Debacle (30:29–32:33)

• Rich’s choice of thin smash burgers (with cold cheese post-grill!) and Oscar Mayer hot dogs is universally panned.
• Don: "The cheese was thick as... Look over here. Jacob doesn't know that you could put cheese on a burger here." (32:17)
• Christine: “When there’s Sobretti's out there, there's Hebrew Nashes...” (30:34)
• Discussion of proper cookout etiquette—cook in waves, use good hot dogs, add cheese while grilling.

b. Nonexistent Sides and Surprise Sandwiches (48:49–62:20)

• The absence of sides and the scattered presentation of food annoys all: chips, salads, and condiments are in different rooms or missing altogether.
• Jay and Bobby contrast this with their own cookout traditions—timing, table spreads, generosity.
• Near the end, Vos tries to unload two untouched trays of sandwiches on departing guests, revealing he’d never even put them out.

c. Dessert Diplomacy and Cookout Ambitions (27:14–29:13)

• Dawn and Lou’s girlfriend’s desserts (blueberry crumble and key lime cheesecake) are hits, with coaching on how to "work" a dessert so everyone tries it.
• Strategic hosting moves: “You can't let a dessert sit. You got to go, yo, try this." (28:05)

d. Barbecue Etiquette 101 (38:18–39:40, 44:09–46:36)

• Don details proper party grilling—piling the grill, serving in stages, letting rookies know what’s up.
• Christine and Don offer a masterclass on how to run the food, with Don lamenting hiring help only to watch them space grill items inefficiently.

8. The Passing of the Barbecue Torch (58:10–66:13)

• Keith Robinson blames Bobby for “quitting” as king of the comedy cookout, demanding another party.
• Christine is anointed the new grill-master by group consensus—“You're the new out. We're having a barbecue at least once a summer. You're going to take over.”
• Christine, overwhelmed: “That solidifies it. That makes the decision I've been waiting to make myself for a while. And that answers it for me. I gotta sell this house.” (58:52)

9. Comedy-World Cameos and Anecdotes (53:22–56:13)

• The episode is peppered with digressions about other comics—Dante’s wild jeans, Joey Vegas’s Corvette cameo, and childhood pranks at past barbecues.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Bonnie’s Transformation:
  • Don: “Every barbecue, she turns more into a young skateboard boy.” (09:10)
  • Christine: “I am blown away when a woman can do anything…” (11:24)
• On DJ Friend’s Lonesome Vigil:
  • Don: "It was the saddest, literally the saddest thing I've seen at any party in my life.” (17:25)
• On Food Quality:
  • Don: "The cheese was thick as..." (32:17)
  • Christine: "...looked like a very school hot dog." (30:29)
• On Cookout Strategy:
  • Don: "Timing is everything." (38:18)
• On Comic Legacy:
  • Don: "I'm handing it off to you… You're the new out." (58:44)

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Notable Timestamps

• Song/ADHD Chat (Replay and Focus): 01:07–06:54
• Vos’s Victorian Room Art Gag: 14:47–15:55
• Lonely DJ Incident: 17:17–19:45
• The “Single White Female” Fashion Bit: 20:34–24:43
• Smashburger Tragedy: 30:29–32:33
• Comic Roast of Sides/Presentation: 48:49–50:53
• Passing the Barbecue Torch: 58:10–66:13

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Conclusion

Vos Cookout Complaints is vintage Bonfire: quick-witted, relentlessly honest examination of real-life friendship, comic competitive spirit, and the unflinching need to roast. The guys transform a suburban cookout disaster into comedy gold, land a few lessons on entertaining, and pass the party-hosting mantle with classic exasperation and heart. If you love inside-comedy stories and the banter only long-time friends can pull off, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Host]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Christine]

When the bullet hit the bone. Damn, dude, this is white guy. Bite your lip, Rock. Get on me Lou.

[Don]

Bullet hit the bone. This is the part I like

[Christine]

really. When everything.

[Don]

When all the music goes away. What do they call that?

[Christine]

The Dropout.

[Guest 1]

I don't know.

[Guest 2]

Something.

[Don]

There's a name for it.

[Christine]

Well, back to the verses versus the chorus.

[Don]

I don't think that's it.

[Guest 2]

The middle six.

[Don]

There you go. I like the middle six.

[Christine]

Is that what it's called?

[Don]

So doesn't don't listen to a lot

[Christine]

better talking about some Donny.

[Don]

That is great at the middle six. Don likes the middle six. I'll get that joke out. I'll step on both of you faces.

[Christine]

You walk right over my thing. I was talking about the TV when I was in the middle of the holding everyone's court about a thing. I was watching Jay. It sent me.

[Announcer]

You don't hold.

[Christine]

My head dropped. My head dropped.

[Don]

I don't allow you to hold court with me.

[Christine]

I was telling you about something you guys haven't seen yet.

[Don]

No. When you're around Jim, I let you do your thing. I like kind of step back like Lancelot and you're King Arthur talking to Gwyneth. Gwyneth Beer.

[Christine]

That's not true.

[Don]

I just stepped back and when you give me directions and I'll go fight your war for you.

[Christine]

No, Jim turned the TV on and then you. And then you went over to Jim. You started sucking up to Jim.

[Don]

No, I swear To God.

[Guest 3]

I.

[Don]

Why is this so weird? I didn't know we. I've never seen that TV in my life.

[Christine]

That it exists.

[Don]

I. Dude, it's just.

[Christine]

It's never on.

[Don]

I know, but I've never noticed it. So he actually put something on it. I was like, we have a TV right there. That would be so easy to look at. Instead of. Instead of me doing this, Lou turning the computer around, I could just look right there.

[Christine]

At some point in the time we've been in the studio, they put that serious. The gray thing that goes across. I didn't. They're like, oh, yeah, that only changed like a few months ago or something. Oh, I guess I would have said that's how it looked. I know. They fogged out the windows so we can't show people's pornography while they're doing another interview. I have to assume we were somehow part of the fogged out windows. I'd like to believe that Howard's in his own wing. Doesn't matter what happens over there. Oh, and a. I don't know how they. They didn't have curtains.

[Don]

They have curtains.

[Christine]

They had curtains.

[Don]

They have curtain. They literally put theater curtains up for those scumbags.

[Christine]

They're not gonna curtain off. They didn't curtain us off. They just fogged us in. So we can't. We don't even have the option if we're not being filthy to see things.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. We have commented on every single show that's ever been next door to us.

[Christine]

Yeah, well, the one. My favorite one was when we just. We just mouth the words we filmed John Fugal saying and his guest, and we just mouthed what they would be saying. We just each picked a person. I think it was me and Soda picked a person. We just chose what we're gonna say. And it played on radio somehow. It was fantastic.

[Don]

Is that why we get weird hellos from him now?

[Christine]

Yes, I'm. Do me a favor, Luke. Crank this up to 15 and then get to the fucking good part, please. When a boat hits a bone. Ha ha. That's everyone's favorite part.

[Don]

I like the middle six.

[Christine]

I know you like the middle six.

[Don]

I like when the mu. Everything drops out.

[Christine]

But if you were driving, the satisfaction of this ending is so much.

[Don]

It is a good song. I haven't heard the song in a long time.

[Christine]

It may make you start the song over if you're doing a long drive.

[Don]

Do you know listening to the same song over and over again is a form of adhd?

[Christine]

Is it?

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Don]

You have a. If you listen to the same song over and over again. Like I did with Jelly Roll. You have adhd?

[Christine]

I do that on my way to work a lot.

[Don]

I do that, too.

[Christine]

I did it today.

[Don]

You have adhd?

[Guest 1]

I mean, for sure.

[Christine]

Huh? What?

[Guest 1]

First you've got to have some sort of add.

[Don]

You got something.

[Christine]

Well, I gotta be doing something.

[Don]

You got something. You got something.

[Christine]

Well, it's so funny. I complain about people on their phone because in my mind, they're doing, like, social media and stuff. Like, when we're talking.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I hate that. But when I'm in my phone, it's so not. It's. It's crosswords. All my Zen games. Crosswords. A little. The thing you see the ads for where your little guys, like, shoot this way and that way, and they pick up five more guys and lose two guys. Oh, shit. Back it up, Lou. You made me talk right over my part. I got so into my phone games.

[Don]

Don't blame me if you're blame, Christine. I'm in on it.

[Christine]

When the bullet hit the bar, you

[Don]

still got a minute left. You want to go behind this?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Don]

I love blaming chicks for stuff. I blame Don for everything.

[Guest 1]

I know. And Sonia. You make it up like the parking lot guys. You said dawn stole your keys.

[Don]

That never happened. That's why you can't have some women, because they're rats. They remember everything.

[Guest 1]

It was a whole theatrical performance.

[Don]

To the parking lot attendant, I am a fetish lesbian.

[Christine]

Women do remember everything except how they acted when you first met them.

[Guest 3]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Blackout.

[Christine]

I would take the excitement.

[Don]

You want to get blackout drunk, Christine?

[Christine]

I would take the excitement.

[Don]

Just look over, Christine. Pull that up. And she's just leaning on the microphone.

[Christine]

Turn it up, Lou. Huh? When the bullet hit the bone. Come on, Bobby. Your air guitar in your car. You're thinking about maybe jerking off.

[Guest 2]

Bo.

[Christine]

When the bullet hits the bone

[Guest 1]

Doing it.

[Christine]

A bullet hit the bone? Yeah. Jacob. That's fixing the car in your garage music right there. You don't know about that music.

[Don]

Because he has no.

[Christine]

You listen to Oasis and a bunch of stuff and finger your own butthole while you look at yourself in the mirror, Jacob.

[Guest 2]

Shop in my garage in Florida.

[Don]

Where do you put your.

[Guest 1]

Here.

[Don]

Do you have, like, a little basement hut inside of the basement of the building?

[Christine]

You can't understand this kind of music, Jacob, because you don't have a garage.

[Guest 2]

I wouldn't be. I wouldn't dare go into the basement of my building.

[Christine]

You can only listen this song when you're in a garage or Your pickup.

[Don]

That's when you know you got a good building. When you can go in the basement and not be attacked by things.

[Christine]

Yeah. When the bullet hits the bone.

[Don]

Maha, we went to. I think we went to Voss's barbecue. I made you go.

[Christine]

Yeah, let's talk about that.

[Don]

I made you go.

[Christine]

No.

[Don]

Well, I was like, you have to go.

[Christine]

I would have overlooked the entire thing. Like, invitation, everything.

[Don]

Like everybody else did.

[Christine]

Like, it turns out everybody else in the world did, except me and Bobby. But Bobby, you know, on the air, said he couldn't go. We found out that Colin hates Voss. No.

[Don]

Colin. Yeah, you're right.

[Christine]

I'm gonna take it back. No, we still hate him. We stay hate him.

[Don]

Yeah. Norton was in where?

[Guest 2]

The.

[Christine]

Was he anywhere else?

[Don]

St. Louis.

[Christine]

Sure.

[Don]

St. Louis.

[Christine]

Lewis was out of town.

[Don]

I love Norton's new vlogging he's doing. He's being an influence.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably do like that.

[Don]

He's going around saying, I heard this was the most dangerous city in the country. Yeah, let's find out.

[Christine]

Let's go watch. Yeah.

[Don]

Just custom at Starbucks.

[Christine]

I assume he's just going around to all the pride parades. He doesn't want to tell us that. He's the. He's the grand marshal of all pride parades.

[Don]

I love that. Norton is 13 years behind technology, and then when he discovers it, he tells people, like he. It's the greatest thing ever.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. He calls it vlogging. I'm vlogging now.

[Don]

He took. He goes, I'd like to tell you about this little thing called the Starbucks app. Like, you can order ahead of time and just show. It's like.

[Guest 3]

What?

[Guest 1]

He just figured that out? Yeah.

[Don]

Well, you never know. I think. So he just. He just found out about the subway three years ago. He goes, you know, the subway's really fast. No shit. Yeah, we showed up. First of all, Voss lives too far away, dude. It's just. It's. It's an hour.

[Christine]

I'm gonna make a complaint about that. But I understand. When I saw Voss, when I asked him about that, he's happy almost because of it. Voss isn't, like, doing spots in the city every night anymore. He's staying back, spending that fucking Bonzi cash.

[Guest 2]

The old.

[Christine]

That old fucking bonanza. Spending bonanza.

[Don]

That little skateboard kid.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Don]

What the fuck is going on with Bonnie, guys? Every barbecue, she turns more into a young skateboard boy.

[Guest 1]

Every.

[Don]

I mean, last time I was there, she looked like she was solving crimes in Florida.

[Christine]

Yeah, she was the captain. The Captain of a dinghy.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Don]

Yesterday I showed up. I'm like. I didn't even notice her for like 20 minutes. I thought it was just one of Voss's daughter's friends.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Don]

And then she sat down.

[Christine]

I thought she was Tenille.

[Don]

Yeah, dude.

[Christine]

From Captain and Tenille.

[Don]

She just looks like a. A dude you'd see at a skate park.

[Christine]

We call her Blues Clues.

[Don]

She's actually taking skateboard lessons.

[Host]

Is she?

[Christine]

Yeah, I believe that.

[Don]

She told me yesterday. She goes. I go. She goes, I'm. I'm skateboarding now. I go, well, okay, that explains a lot.

[Christine]

But the thing. No, it's. I understand. You don't understand this because your son is still young. Raina. Their daughter is off in college.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Right now. And so Bonnie's like, yeah, just fucking live fast, dude. Fucking go for it. That's what I do. I've upped my smoking now that I've known. I'm like. I'm like, Isabelle's fine. If I die, she'll get some cash.

[Don]

But I just. It's like if dawn came to me and she was wearing a baseball cap backwards and a. One of my tea oversized T shirts and some ripped jeans and some flat little Converse.

[Christine]

Just call her Chief. What's up, chief?

[Don]

And then she's like. I go, where are you going? She goes, going to the park. I'm gonna do a little drop ins. I'm gonna go do some skateboarding. I'd leave her.

[Christine]

Really.

[Don]

I'd walk away from her.

[Christine]

Gonna hit the half pipe.

[Don]

No, I. I don't, I don't wanna. I don't wanna. I don't wanna. I don't want a young old wife.

[Christine]

I understand. You only not a vert guy. Okay. I understand that she's dropping in and you want to see you like a street skate. You want to see a girl grind a rail? You don't want to see her hitting 720s off the pipe.

[Don]

I don't want to.

[Christine]

Is that a real thing?

[Guest 1]

Look it up, Jacob.

[Christine]

720.

[Don]

I don't want to have to go pick her up at the park because she hurt her knee.

[Christine]

I'd love that.

[Don]

And a bunch of young puncture around her giving her high fives.

[Christine]

There you go. There's Dawn.

[Don]

God.

[Christine]

Hell yeah.

[Don]

Yeah. So Bonnie's taking. I mean, God bless her, I guess. I mean, you got to get away from boss somehow and be honest. Skateboarding is a great way to go.

[Christine]

Sure. I gotta be honest with you. I think this is very, very woke of me. I am blown Away when a woman can do anything. We're watching videos of women skateboarding here. I am blown away when they can do it. And when I see it, I'm very impressed. I go, oh, my God. I thought you can't do anything. I assumed.

[Don]

Well, they can do a lot of things. They can handle bills. Good.

[Christine]

They can organize, well, clerical work. But that's my assumption. That's what they're bred for. I mean, that's why they have. That's why they have those fucking rationale cells in their brain.

[Don]

They can call people good.

[Christine]

You know how they're really good at calling people? Yeah.

[Don]

I'll call somebody.

[Christine]

Yeah. What is the extra bank ankle bone we say black people have that women have that make them good at those things. We've always said that we're not good at those things. Like slam dunking basketballs. And I guess anything else athletic because were at a disadvantage because black people were given this gift of extra bone that apparently has everything you need in it to slam dunk a basketball. Black Lou's never slam dunk a basketball. But I'll tell you this. He touched rim before he got up. He got up and up. There was a point in black Lou's life where he was gonna touch that rim. So when he comes to gym class and everybody's doing the running and seeing what you can grab on a slap the net or anything, he had to make sure.

[Don]

I don't think blue touched the rim. That's why he had to marry a white girl.

[Christine]

He touched it, I think touched that rim.

[Don]

I was like, you touched the rim?

[Christine]

Absolutely. He touched that rim.

[Announcer]

How?

[Christine]

He couldn't grab it. He couldn't anything. He went up and he, he, he. He'd tap it as close as I got though.

[Don]

Like a fingernail.

[Christine]

Yes, yes, absolutely.

[Don]

We're talking about basketball. There's a rim where the thing goes in. Jacob. And that's what he touched.

[Christine]

Jacob. That's the thing that people would give you wedgies and then stick you in basketball hoop

[Don]

dude. Yeah. Voss is here. I don't look at living out, but he lives in Amish country.

[Christine]

It's like he's happy because he said there's a bunch of golf courses around. And I think, you know, Bonnie's writing jobs and stuff all the time. So I don't know how much they're in the city or anything and whatever, but they are. I mean, it's weird. It was almost 20 miles. Not on the highway.

[Don]

That's the worst part. When you live. When you live out of the city. Like you. You live out of the city, but you're only 10 minutes off the highway.

[Christine]

Not even.

[Don]

Yeah, but I'm literally five minutes off the high. You go up the highway, you take a right, you take a left, you're at my house. I'm right there. Same thing with him. But Voss, it's 25 minutes off the highway through farmland, and then you have to take a left that used to be farmland comes up out of nowhere.

[Christine]

The subdivision.

[Don]

Nowhere. And it's some weird whitening. Whitlock Manor. I don't know what it is.

[Christine]

Someone's give their address.

[Don]

I just made that up.

[Christine]

Yeah, it's like the third house on the right.

[Don]

It's actually the first house on the right. I mean, beautiful house, though. Beautiful sick house.

[Christine]

Yeah, they have a swinging door that goes between dining room and kitchen.

[Don]

It's.

[Christine]

It's a swinging door, Jacob.

[Don]

Yeah, it's really nice. It's like a great night. Late 90s house. Like, Jay's house is a great arts house. Like, it's all up.

[Christine]

Yeah, it's like, this is a house. It's like, good. Like, listen, like the goo Goo Dolls or something.

[Don]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you can hang posters on the wall in this house. With nails. Yeah, you can do nails. You don't have to, like, get it professionally done.

[Christine]

Voss's, which, by the way, he's so happy again. Voss is such a guy. When you do see him, like, just happy, and he's like, proud of the house. It was really nice to see. And he takes you in that room that.

[Guest 2]

The Victorian room.

[Christine]

Maybe one of my favorite things, though, that happened there. But I'm glad we just brought this up because I think somehow I forgot this. He's going around. Everybody laughs. But I go to these estate sales, and I got my friend who's here, who's got an app that you can appraise things. You take a picture of them. So you go to these estate sales, and you get these things. I bought this for $500. He goes, it's like $35,000 now. $35,000. And I just accepted that. And then he calls the friend with the phone. Do you have your phone on you? He's there at the party, this friend also. He goes, you have your phone on you? He goes, it's in my car. I'll grab it. And he comes back and he goes, I want to see again how much that picture costs right there. $1,500. Now, it was a great buy because it's worth more than he bought for. You still got to find a buyer who's not whatever. But everything, it was the funniest thing. He was like 35k. I go, well then, dude, this room is a brilliant idea now. But it just turned back into something that you're like, no, you just like it.

[Don]

You know what? I can't wait. I can't wait till he grabs his chest and that week Bonnie just dumps all that on the lawn and people get it for nothing. Yeah, that whole room is gonna be.

[Christine]

Well, I'll tell you what she said.

[Don]

For pennies on the dollar, she should

[Christine]

have his dumb paintings patchworked together to make his coffin. Speaking of coughing a no, he should.

[Don]

She should give one away to all his friends. Like hats. Like for Patrice O'.

[Guest 2]

Neill.

[Don]

We should all get a stupid 17th century Italian Victorian painting.

[Christine]

Dude, watching Vosto like, like explain the art that he admires. He's like, I like it. I like this one here. It's like a family in a field.

[Don]

It just is replicas. Yeah, it's just like some chicken in a hot dress in a field. It's all about.

[Christine]

And by the way, it's like when the guy hits the thing like again, you think he's going to say any name you recognize. He goes, well, it's, you know, Frank Pickens. It's a Frank Pickens original.

[Guest 3]

Frank.

[Don]

Frank. Because it's still alive, by the way.

[Christine]

It was. No, that's almost a funnier thing. I held. Not valuable. They were. Because he's like, oh, it's a Frank Pickens, 1863. It's like from some crazy long ago time still. And it's still only worth fifteen hundred dollars.

[Don]

I got a call from Keith today.

[Christine]

Well, he had a D. Let's. Let's go. Keep going through what's going on. He had a DJ.

[Don]

Well, he had a D. He didn't have a DJ.

[Christine]

Was 70.

[Don]

He had a friend. It was his friend who's a dj.

[Christine]

Was he though?

[Don]

Yeah. Well, he didn't treat him as a friend. It was the saddest, literally the saddest thing I've seen at any party in my life. I was leaving and I'm looking out the. He has like a three season room where you go in, I look out and everybody was on this side of the party on the. The back lawn over here to the right of the pool. Have talking, playing corn hole, having a great time. And then you look at this friend of his sitting under a tent with all the DJ equipment by himself.

[Christine]

By himself.

[Don]

Like Voss never told him he could come over and maybe be on the

[Christine]

law, maybe set up on the lawn

[Don]

or maybe just hit a button and on. On Spotify and hang out. And just hang out. I don't know why you need a fucking dj. Nobody's dancing.

[Christine]

Maybe he doesn't pay for no ads. He'd have embarrassed. Instead of just going, like, yeah, you could just hit Yacht Rock.

[Don]

But you get an iPhone and a Bluetooth speaker and fucking hit a button and sat back and enjoyed your life.

[Christine]

He would have made out better to do that than have this guy. This guy was. And then they called everybody. Shortly after I got there. They called everybody over to the pool area for the toast. And so we all went over for a toast. Nobody was given anything to toast. There was no toast. Then I tell you how much I don't think the DJ is his good friend because he kept referring to Rich as Richard, which I didn't like at all. And he wasn't being funny. He's like, it's Richard's birthday and his daughter's birthday, you know, and he's going through the whole thing. We all sing Happy Birthday to Richard

[Don]

and his daughter's name. Yeah, we got to get that right.

[Christine]

What a daughter's name? Yeah, I know her name, but are we supposed to say it? Does he say his daughter's name?

[Don]

I didn't say it. That's why I didn't say it.

[Christine]

I'm sure it doesn't matter, really. I think she's 40. She's 40. She's fine.

[Don]

Yeah, she's all right. She's got a fucking Beamer. She's doing well.

[Christine]

She got a beer in a family.

[Don]

Yeah. Her husband's killing it.

[Christine]

So. Yeah, so. And then he goes, we sing Happy Birthday. And then we're all like, all right, back to the party. And the DJ is like, hang on, Rich, we got a special surprise for you. And then he plays at an extraordinary low, unhearable volume. An old prank that was played on Rich where, like, someone called him and. And was telling him, like, calling him a bitch or something. And he just kind of argued with him back. And then it just ended. And it was like, okay, everybody back to doing what you were doing. And now we all fucking have musical chaired. So that broke the hang up. We had a goodie going.

[Don]

We had a good hang up going. And then hang out.

[Christine]

And then Josh fucking shanghaied Lou and his girlfriend over out on the grass. So they were pulled away from the fucking fun, the action.

[Don]

Listen, not nothing against Josh. I Love Josh. But when he was. When he came out of the house, it was shocking.

[Christine]

What do you mean, came out of the house?

[Don]

He can't. I was like, why are you. How did you. Like you. Voss doesn't even. Like, like, like, why, like, why?

[Christine]

You told me there was an out. If you told me there was an outside shot. If you told me there was an outside shot, that they didn't know Josh, I would have said, oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess I see that.

[Don]

Like, it's not part of the. And then Josh walks out by himself, and then the first thing out of his mouth is explained. Everything goes, is Jay. When's Jay showing up? I was like, I got it now.

[Christine]

I don't rent a car.

[Don]

I got to go with Jay.

[Christine]

I got a deal. Do you tell you about a car rental deal?

[Guest 2]

No.

[Don]

He was talking to us about his Kratom addiction. Can I tell you what he said all about it. Can I tell you what he said to me, which blew me away? He said to me, you. You kind of. You've been. You kind of. You know, you and Jay. You kind of. He's inspiring you, like, fashion wise. I went, what he said about you

[Christine]

to me, that's crazy, man.

[Don]

He goes. I go, what the are you talking about?

[Christine]

That's crazy.

[Don]

You know, you're wearing. You know, first of all, I was so like, what the.

[Christine]

I go, please give me his examples.

[Don]

He said, you know, you're wearing nice sneakers. I go, I wear hokas on Clouds and New Balance.

[Christine]

You got some nice ease. You got a couple of Jordans.

[Don]

I got a couple Jordans, but I don't wear them every day. I wear them. I feel like I have a show maybe, but mostly I'm wearing comfortable.

[Christine]

You have nice sneakers, but I don't think that was.

[Don]

And. And then I don't think I'm known

[Christine]

as a nice sneaker guy.

[Don]

He goes, I say, you have your.

[Guest 2]

You have your definitive fashion and you dress well.

[Don]

I. I dress the way I dress now. Well, I say that you like. I love. You know, I. I have a sling bag, but I've always. I have 55 sling bags.

[Christine]

I've always had a sling.

[Don]

I am a bag whore. I'm a bag slut.

[Guest 3]

What's up?

[Don]

Bag slut bags. Hang on one second. Bag sluts.

[Christine]

No, I'm not a bag slut. But I also carried the bag for a while because I don't like having things in my pockets. It was a solution, and I think Christine ultimately suggested this is an option. I'm not gonna wear a fucking fanny pack. And I'm not a backpack guy.

[Don]

I've always been.

[Christine]

So she suggested this thing, and I was like, oh, that does work. And I like, I don't mind carrying it.

[Don]

I'm a bag slut. For years I've been. I have so many.

[Christine]

Nothing to do with me.

[Don]

Nothing to do with you.

[Christine]

And then I Probably more inspired by you on bags in general.

[Don]

Giving a. I said, I go, what are you talking about? I go, what the. I go, what do you. Look at you.

[Christine]

Oh, maybe he was in your sunglass reflection. He probably confused him when he started answering.

[Don]

Jay, sometimes you just need the science.

[Christine]

He probably saw his reflection of you and his reflection of him in the same sunglasses as you that he buys.

[Don]

Fucking mind boggling to me that he would have the balls to say.

[Christine]

Do you think it's interesting to say that he thinks that you're inspiring his style. And I think it's a funny thing. Like, I would say I think he's inspired by your style to some degree, with the glasses and stuff.

[Don]

So I think he's inspired by you.

[Christine]

No, I think he's trying to. I think he's happy I'm losing weight so he can take my skin.

[Don]

I looked over yesterday, he had. His. His fingernails were painted. And I go, hey, what's up with the nails? And he was like, nah, just. This is what I do. I like it. It looks good. I was like.

[Christine]

He came in. He came into the green room at the stand on Friday. I always feel bad when you tell these stories. I can't tell you. Friday in the green room, we had a blast. He was really making me laugh a lot.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Making fun of Rob Zombie again. It was very fun. We had a good time that day. But when he first walked in, it's not even in my character to be this, like, right out of the gates, it's gonna be like, whoa. It was jarring a bit. I see you walked in. I saw you had pink fingernails. And again, nothing I do. Am I like, this is my thing. There's 50,000 guys who fucking paint their fingernails in the world. No. Probably just in New York City, if not more probably.

[Don]

You're the only one in our fucking. Believe me. You're the only guy in our group that paints their fingernails. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Don]

You're the only.

[Christine]

Sure. Absolutely.

[Guest 2]

You're only.

[Don]

You're the only they. Them in our group that paints their fingernails.

[Christine]

There's only room for one. There's too many bathrooms. We got to put everywhere. We only have Room for one. So when he came in, I was like, dude, are you single white femaleing me slowly? And he goes, what? That's the best. The best part of me is when he goes, what do you mean? I go, well, do you know what the reference is? Well, then you know what I mean.

[Don]

I'd me.

[Christine]

I'd me. How dare you.

[Don]

How dare you say that to me? I am. I am b. I am somehow being influenced by Jay.

[Christine]

His fingernails painted, his hair's dyed, and he got nose rings.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, no, the nose rings.

[Christine]

Yeah, he's had nose rings for a while now. But that was like.

[Don]

And.

[Christine]

And the glasses and Bobby glasses.

[Don]

I've want I. These glasses, the big glasses. And I got so much shit. I was the first one that was like coming out of the closet in the late fucking 80s. I got so much shit for wearing these type of glasses. Still do, by the way.

[Host]

Those.

[Don]

You fucking glasses. Yeah, they're my fucking glasses. And now everybody fucking wears cool fucking shades.

[Christine]

If he says, if he. If he's willing to full on commit to this. This idea, I'll lean into it more and we can go like Busta Rhymes and Spliff Star where he wears little tiny. Little tiny outfits that I'm wearing, like with slight variations, but like his little tiny outfits of my little outfits. And then when I tell my jokes, he can come out and be like, oh, yeah, 2026, y'. All. 2026. Bring up some split spot there before. Look at them. Look at their little outfits together, dude. That's what I want to do with them.

[Don]

You have to get outfits with Skank Fest.

[Christine]

Me and Josh every day, just new little outfits together. Yeah, I'll do it.

[Don]

Oh, he'll do it.

[Christine]

Look at that. You see me a little slight variations of little tiny outfits of the same outfit. Yeah, dude. Yes, exactly what I mean.

[Don]

I mean, it's close right now, right?

[Christine]

We're all so close. All we got to do is get our outfits right.

[Don]

Tell you what, though. Yesterday I touched his. He was in the thing and I. I put my hand on Josh's stomach. The kid's.

[Christine]

Oh, he's jacked.

[Don]

It's like. It's like cement. It made me angry, like, because I'm. The only way I love ever get exercises is if I get surgery. I would have to get a $20,000 surgery to even get like that. And three months after the surgery, I'd be chubby again. Like, it'd be.

[Christine]

It's. Yeah, no, Josh is Jack.

[Don]

I mean, he's a. He's a chimpanzee. Yeah, he's a chimp.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Christine]

That's what happens when you have no one to love. When you have no love, you get in great shape.

[Guest 2]

Lou told me that you cornered him and Nyla under a tree for an hour and talked to him. Didn't get a word.

[Don]

I did not get a word in. But that being said, I love him, and I loved hearing it, but it was a constant talking. Look at, man.

[Christine]

He showed up, and he immediately just sat there eating. Eating his girlfriend's key lime. Key lime cheesecake.

[Guest 2]

I'm sorry.

[Christine]

He had to just keep eating pieces of it.

[Don]

I felt bad about that because Don brought her blueberry crumble, which it killed. It really killed.

[Christine]

But can I say something? No. Let me say something. What you guys did. And I know I don't think it's either you or your girlfriend or mine, for that matters, like the way you go about something. Bobby was smart, and dawn also like seeing that. When you see there's food there, a lot of food I use with quotes. When you see there's a lot of options and choices there. I didn't get blueberry crumble. It was brought to me. It was like dawn, like, Dawn's going. They were making sure that her thing made the rounds. I saw yours. I didn't know where it was. I just saw it on your plate, only I never saw where it was.

[Don]

Yeah, you guys. You guys, what you did, you let it sit there. You can't let a dessert sit. You got to go, yo, try this.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Don]

And then once, one, two people try

[Christine]

it, and some word spreads, then the

[Don]

word spread, and you can't. First of all, you can't fuck with the blueberry. The blueberries, the king.

[Christine]

It's key lime cheesecake, though, is a little out of left field, so it's interesting.

[Don]

Little out of left field, but it's like when you see.

[Christine]

It's the old good.

[Don]

You see yellow and purple, you go in purple. You know what I mean? It's a little unfair.

[Christine]

I didn't know it was key lime, but at first I thought it was chive cheesecake because there was a little pieces, but I guess it was lime. I think it's lime zest, but I thought it was. I was like, is that chive cheesecake? Because that doesn't look good.

[Don]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest 2]

It was less dessert and more sustenance,

[Christine]

but it looked delicious. I never found it.

[Don]

I'll tell you right now. I hate. I hate. I hate key lime anything. I fucking hate it. And I wound up taking a bite of it. When I found out it was Lou's girl, I was like, I'm gonna take a bite. Check it out. Fantastic. Yeah, she's a good cook.

[Guest 2]

Who do you.

[Christine]

Very fantastic purchase the groceries for this one?

[Don]

I'm gonna tell you this. 100 VOSS, was it?

[Christine]

Because I gotta say, even I only had one thing. Eat, like, as far as food. Food goes, actually two. I had a couple of bites. There was a buffalo chicken dip in there. That was fantastic. Fantastic. And then I'm just not.

[Don]

I'm not going into a bowl that has been. It looked like dogs ate it.

[Christine]

We. But that's fault of us. When we get there, we showed up.

[Don]

We showed up at the perfect time. But if you're not there two hours late.

[Christine]

Yes. But if you're not there.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

You get there a little late. You can't be mad about food being.

[Don]

Can I just make a suggestion? Being probably the king of barbecues for a long time.

[Christine]

You slow roll it out.

[Don]

You slow roll it out. You put a littler bowl out. And then if it's devoured, you put some more out. You don't just. You don't put a. That was that bowl. They just.

[Christine]

You just made Christine proud, I think.

[Don]

Am I right? You put a little bit out and then you put more out when it's gone. You don't put the whole thing out in the biggest bowl. Everybody's double dipping. Everybody's. First of all, everybody's starving.

[Christine]

Well, I think what happened also when we got there, I think the thing was that move was done too. Cook all hot dogs at once. So when I got there and I was like, do you want anything? It was like, well, it's gonna be cooked. But all I had was I grabbed like a loose hot dog. Really ate a hot dog. And I was gonna say again, and as a Voss, I'd like to know what the choice was in the hot dog. It wasn't. It was a bad hot dog.

[Don]

Terrible.

[Christine]

It tasted like a very school hot dog.

[Don]

I'm gonna tell you what he did, Jacob.

[Christine]

When there's. When there's Sobretti's out there, there's Hebrew Nashes.

[Don]

He got. He got. When I do. When I do my parties, we get hamburger and we make the patties. Or you can go to the butcher and say, I want this many hamburgers. And they'll make them, but they're at least an inch thick. They're fat burgers. You can get good burgers. Fat. What Voss did, he got smash burgers before You.

[Christine]

Before you start judging too much, though, I'd like to say at a grocery store, because I'm not making my own patties for anything now. I was told I was garbage for thinking that Bubba Burgers are good burgers. I do think they are. But let's. They're frozen. They're not. Let's say it's garbage.

[Don]

Fine, it's garbage.

[Christine]

It's absolutely no argument. When I was younger, I think throwing barbecues, it was what I could afford, I think is what it was. And no one really complained about Bubba

[Don]

Burgers, but not to you.

[Christine]

Now at a grocery store, they have like companies that are there that have not frozen, like half brisket, whatever. You know, it's like you can get amazing burgers at a grocery. You don't have to go to a butcher necessarily or make your own, but

[Don]

the butcher's making those. The ones that you find that are like already done. He made them in the back and prepared them probably that day.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Don]

And what Voss did for some reason is got Smash burgers, which are little thin burgers.

[Christine]

I get these, this company a bunch. They're great.

[Don]

Great burger. That's a great burger. It's a fantastic burger. Great burger. He got smash burgers. The problem, it's a smash burger. It's thin. You can't. There's no juice in it. You're not biting into it and getting. It's a little. It's a little thin burger. And then he gave me a Smashburger. I said, with cheese. They put the cheese on after they cooked it.

[Christine]

Cold cheese.

[Don]

So it was cold cheese on a little thin burger. The cheese was thick as.

[Christine]

Look over here. Jacob doesn't know that you could put cheese on a burger here.

[Don]

Sorry, but you're right, I apologize. He caught me with that fucking dead stare.

[Christine]

I mean, his dick just got so soft.

[Don]

He had the little thin burger and then put the cheese on after. So I as a guest had to go, I need to put this back on the grill and cook it the way it's supposed to be cooked.

[Christine]

Wasn't his son in law or something cooking?

[Don]

He had some teenage boy cooking.

[Christine]

I think it's Raina's boyfriend.

[Don]

Maybe it's Rainer's boyfriend was cooking for all the guests at one point.

[Christine]

No, he told me that's who he employed to do it.

[Don]

What?

[Christine]

He goes, no, he goes, I gave him a couple bucks to do the grilling. But it's like, if you're gonna do it, what you actually have to do is like, you gotta hire A person, it can't be a friend if a friend's gonna do it because they're good at it and they want to do it. You got a Dave Williamson or something in your life, turn it over to him.

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[Christine]

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Discover it at your local Mazda dealer today. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Everybody deals with stigma. Everybody has, you know, things that build up. You know, I got in a fight with a friend and I didn't call them, they didn't call me to where we didn't talk for months because it got so overwhelming. I was going to lose a friend over it. But you know what you do do what I did, go to BetterHelp and talk to somebody. You talk to somebody about it and you get a little direction and you get it out. And I repaired this friendship. It wasn't even as big as I thought it was. I just built it up in my head that it was going to be crazy. Even in 2026, stigma can get in the way of a lot of things, like getting support for your mental health. Maybe you've encouraged friends to consider therapy while avoiding taking the first steps yourself because you're busy, worried what others would think, or telling yourself you should handle it on your own. But therapy with BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform, can be a space to slow down and talk through what's building up before it feels unmanageable. Just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and Preferences and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. Their industry leading match fulfillment rate means BetterHelp typically gets it right the first time. Feel confident knowing BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com.com bonfire that's B-E-T D T E R help.com bonfire I have three trips planned down to South America. I'm going back to Cuba with my son and I'm going to learn how to communicate with these people in their language, which empowers you, which makes you feel fantastic. It's never too late to learn a new language by using Babbel. If you're traveling this summer, here's a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Instead, try Babel. Babel is built for real, not vocab lists, not verb charts. But it's the real conversation. Practice just 10 minutes a day with Babbel. It can help you start having a real conversation in as little as three weeks. Lessons are quick. They have 200 language experts. It's awesome telling you right now I can talk to people. The guy that works in my house, he's Spanish. He comes in and I see him sometimes struggling with me to say things to me. Now I can talk to him in Spanish. He can talk to me a little bit. I don't know it all, but I know some and I had to be polite. I can talk to people around the city. It's amazing. Learn a new language with Babbel. What language do you want to learn? They've got it. If you got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learned on your trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babbel.combonfire that's Babbel B A B B E L.combonfire for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply.

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[Guest 3]

I.

[Don]

Whatever. If I have a cookout, I'm on the grill. The whole. I'm cooking for everybody.

[Guest 1]

You love doing that too.

[Don]

Because I. Because I want. I want the burgers to be perfect. I want the sausages to be perfect. I want the hot dog. I hired a lady one year. The third. The third barbecue in I don. Was like, I want you to have a good time. I was like, I am having a good time. I want cook. We hired this girl. She came over. I told you. I went to the grill. It was a ham. It was a hot dog space. Hot dog space. Hot dog space, Hamburger space. Hamburger space, hamburger space. I go, honey, I got 60 people showing up. 20 of them have shitty dispositions because they're comics. Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog, hot dog. Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger. You throw them fucking all on the grill. You cook everything all at once. And then you put it in the tray, Put the lid on the tray so it's hot. Timing is everything.

[Christine]

You got to go a second round. Then you can't do all of it, and that. Not do a lot at once.

[Don]

You do all. You do as much as you can. And then I'll put the sausages on. Sausage, sausage sauces. The grill should be filled with everything. And then people are coming up, grabbing the food, and I'm cooking. And then I save the steak tips for last, because I don't want everybody. Because if I put the steak tips on, they'll just eat those, and I'll have fucking 900 hamburgers and hot dogs left. So I fill them up with the hamburgers and hot dogs and sausages.

[Christine]

You close with steak.

[Don]

And then I close with steak. I close with steaks. Whoever really wants steak, you get some steak.

[Christine]

Wait a second. I forgot for the. I forgot to. I must have missed the closer yesterday.

[Don]

Oh, there was no steak. Now I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna take the hit for that. I'll take the hit for that. Because he did call me and he said, I don't know, what should I get? I go, smash burgers, Dave.

[Christine]

Nope. Smash burgers and Oscar Mayer dogs.

[Don]

I said, I go, you get some really good hot dogs, get some really good sausages, and get some really good hamburger. Hamburger meat. Dude, it's not vague. It's way vague, buddy. You don't go and grab a. The shittiest hot dogs and the thinnest hamburgers. First of all, you don't get the thinnest hamburger. You don't get smash burgers for a barbecue.

[Christine]

Does it take you this long to realize how Jewish he is?

[Guest 1]

I mean, I saw a Bubba burger box, too. I thought it was badgers.

[Don]

That's for. That's for them.

[Guest 2]

They.

[Don]

There's a lot of vegans at that house.

[Christine]

Oh, they were probably.

[Guest 1]

Oh, vegan veggie burgers.

[Don]

Veggie burgers, yeah. Anytime they came to my house, I made them bring their own stuff because I would refuse to cook it. So I would have to save a little piece of my grill for a beet burger, maybe. Sick. Bonnie's a vegan because you don't know when a beet burger is done because it's the same.

[Guest 2]

Look.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Don]

You could spend seven hours on a grill and you're like, I don't know.

[Christine]

It's already. It's already done. It's done before you start. You're just heating it up.

[Don]

Yeah, I don't.

[Guest 2]

The.

[Don]

That annoyed me.

[Christine]

Patty made a fucking chewed corn and broccoli and.

[Don]

But look it. I. Look it. I live with Dawn. She makes the macaroni salad or the potato salad by scratch. That's just the way it is. She makes the salad by scratch. And. And yesterday he. And he was. So he goes, make sure you tell everybody how good it was. And I kind of let it go. I wasn't going to talk about it.

[Christine]

Why do you ask you that?

[Don]

Because he. The last barbecue, he got so much for I.

[Christine]

Because, damn, I've never had people over for a thing and thought that it's going to get trashed later.

[Don]

Well, the last one, there wasn't enough food. And then he comes over. He had chicken wings, right? He comes over. He had eight chicken wings. They cooked on the grill.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Don]

And he ate.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Eight.

[Christine]

How many people were there?

[Don]

I don't know. 35.

[Christine]

Oh, so it's not enough. Okay, I see what you're saying now. Okay. I thought maybe there were eight expertly cooked chicken wings, though, and they weren't.

[Don]

They were burnt.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Don]

And then. And then he had dessert. Thank God Lou's girl and my wife brought some dessert. They had Richie's slush, Rita's water, but it was water.

[Christine]

It turned into Rich's slush.

[Don]

It was. He goes, you want some of this? I go, it's watery. I don't want. I don't want water.

[Christine]

It did inspire me. When I went home later, though. I got Rita's water ice.

[Don]

Here's the deal. My party. You know what I did? Hired Ben and Jerry's to show up. I hired an actual soft. Mr. Soft. Jimmy's softy. Truck came to my house. Go up to the truck. Whatever you want is all I paid for it. You can get two, three, whatever you want. Root beer float. You can get ice cream. Whatever the fuck you want. You can. And Don cooks the old. The cake. The yellow cake, and fairly.

[Christine]

You also have a young son, too. There's some kind of a fund to that, to present that to him. All of us kids are my age.

[Don]

He had four grandkids there.

[Christine]

I know one of them beat me up.

[Don]

There's a lot of kids there. I mean, hire a truck. Do something. You don't just run down and get a bucket of Richie's slush.

[Guest 1]

Whatever it was, the truck is. I only had one time, one of Tim's barbecues. He had. I don't remember yours. And it was. It was really. You're like, oh, we can just get whatever we want.

[Don]

You don't remember my bun. You could walk up to. I had the Ben and Jerry's guy there for three years. Then I fired him and went to Jimmy's.

[Christine]

I don't.

[Don]

Because he had.

[Christine]

Christine just did to you.

[Don]

He had. No, she doesn't remember it, but it was.

[Christine]

No, no, I don't. Like, she tanked you down and goes like. It's like when I went to Tim's barbecue. Like, that's a barbecue house.

[Guest 1]

That's a good thing.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

There was nothing similar about Tim's part. There was people with bow ties on bringing his hors d'.

[Guest 1]

Oeuvres.

[Christine]

Yeah, well, I mean, now Bethany Frankel was sitting there in a tennis dress.

[Don]

Yeah, that's a boring.

[Guest 1]

Lewis did magic for him. Us.

[Christine]

Lewis did magic. Everyone had a splendid time. It was maybe the greatest time I've ever had.

[Don]

That's not the boot.

[Christine]

Thanks for bringing that up.

[Don]

No, you just. You're a dick. My barbecue Turn everybody against each other. This is why my. This is why you young for you. This is why you young bucks kind of not young.

[Christine]

I have back problems, you guys. This is why I bring a pillow on planes with me.

[Don]

I got a pillow in my truck.

[Christine]

Don't call me. Yeah, don't call me young buck.

[Don]

And the guy at the parking lot always take the pillow off. And I have to. You guys. You guys came at me because I. I brought Two different. Two different eras of comedy. I would have Norton Voss, Colin Depaulo, you know, all those guys. And then I brought my other friends, You, Lewis, Joe Dan. And you guys would always sit together. You never mixed. And you blame me for that?

[Christine]

No, I think there, first of all,

[Don]

I was blame me for not merging the two.

[Christine]

Well, I wouldn't blame you for that because in that scenario, in that circle there, there more like I'm actually more familiar with the circle of you guys in that regard.

[Don]

Of course.

[Christine]

Do you know, I mean, like, I didn't come up with. I mean, I know Stavros. I like Stavros a lot.

[Don]

Stavros would come, but, I don't know, Dylan would come.

[Christine]

But I'm saying those people.

[Don]

You think inspired Tim Dillon, by the way, for parties.

[Christine]

Oh, totally. You do?

[Don]

It's me.

[Christine]

Probably you. Yeah. She was not gonna give me that kind of credit, but I would.

[Don]

Yeah, it was me.

[Christine]

No, it's absolutely fantastic. Dude.

[Don]

Yeah. Do you remember going in line for Ben and Jerry's and getting whatever you wanted?

[Christine]

I don't know if that was the year that I was there.

[Don]

Do you remember the softy truck out front?

[Christine]

It was one of those probably. I'm sure it was whatever. The year I was only there one of them. And it was when Lewis got naked and then we took his clothes and stole them and hid them. And then he had to run down your street naked.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Christine]

So then I just figured like the next year I was like, I don't think he wants us. I don't really want to.

[Guest 1]

That's the energy we brought up in the street naked.

[Don]

Well, he ran down Dolores driveway naked and she's a like 80 year old Christian woman.

[Christine]

She said we could use her pool. And then Lewis got naked and then we stole his clothes. Oh, why'd he go on the street? We took his clothes out front and threw them in the street, down the street. So he had to do that. Yeah, but. And then Bobby moved.

[Don]

So yeah, I had to move. And I stopped by, I stopped the barbecue.

[Christine]

Yeah, they started letting Puerto Ricans move in after that. Isn't that true? Then they started letting a bunch of Puerto Rican people move in.

[Don]

They took over the block.

[Christine]

Did society start letting them take over your block?

[Don]

That's when they started putting the outside stuff stuff in and the inside stuff out.

[Christine]

They are American. They are Americans.

[Don]

Yeah. My barbecue. You. This is my barbecue. What should I bring? You don't need to bring nothing. I had all the drinks. The only thing I said, if you want And I did buy beer, but if you. I bought Heineken's and some type. But if you want a specific alcohol, you got to bring that. Because I don't drink and I'm not getting involved with that. But any. You didn't have to bring a thing to my house.

[Christine]

Cocaine.

[Don]

Don't bring desserts because it's already done. No, you can bring desserts.

[Guest 2]

That's.

[Don]

Yes, that.

[Christine]

Of course, pills.

[Don]

Pills you can bring. But that was my barbecue.

[Christine]

It was a prostitute that I would like to feel like we spent a little time together and it wasn't just a transactional thing.

[Don]

I did that one year, but nobody went with her.

[Christine]

Oh.

[Don]

Then she started comedy.

[Guest 1]

So.

[Don]

Yeah, dude, but Voss, he's trying to look, God bless him. He did the barbecue. He wanted to do a barbecue. He wanted.

[Christine]

This guy's just trying to die, Grace.

[Guest 2]

But it's.

[Don]

It's. It's like a smash burger to me is in letting you. You should be on the grill, bro. You should be on the grill.

[Christine]

Smash burger should be happening on a flat top.

[Don]

A flat. Yes.

[Christine]

If you're doing. On a grill, it's very weird. Also, smash burger just, I would argue, isn't really the barbecue burger. No, it's not the barbecue, but smash burgers. When you're making burgers in the house for dinner for like your family, maybe we're doing smash burgers.

[Don]

How many smash burgers you putting on a bun? Two. You're always going to do two. I got a burger.

[Christine]

Individual smash burger. No smash burgers. Only a thing. Because it's two.

[Don]

Yes.

[Christine]

It's supposed to make two patties, but they're the equivalent of having a normal burger.

[Don]

No, I'm explaining to Jacob. Yeah, I'm not looking at.

[Christine]

Jacob's not delicious burgers work.

[Don]

He sucks me in. So, yeah, that was crazy. And then I was like, dude, there's not even like when you get a plate at my house, it's like a buffet. You start here, you get a hot dog, get a hamburger. You can get a sausage, you can get the salad. Then you go fruit salad. Then you go to macaroni salad or something like that. And then there's a thing of chips. You can get some chips to put it. You fill your plate with what you want, all of it or whatever there. You just got a hot dog. And then they had. They had ketchup and mustard and that's it. And then you got a burger on a plate.

[Christine]

Well, that's ketchup and like a few different mustards.

[Don]

So if you went up to get food, you got, you either got a hamburger or you got a hot dog.

[Christine]

You couldn't do both?

[Don]

No, you could do both, but they really weren't available at the same time.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Don]

And then you.

[Christine]

Well, there was a child cooking then.

[Don]

You get props to him though. He did a good job with what he had.

[Christine]

Yeah, eight burnt wings and 500 hot dogs nobody wanted.

[Don]

And then there was no, like, there was no chips next to it. Like if you wanted macaroni salad, you had to go to like a living room and then come back out. Like.

[Christine]

And then you, if you want a little like sun room there, the three

[Don]

season room they have, you gotta go in there and maybe there was a bowl, you know, one of those. Not homemade, but it was just, you know, regular mayonnaise y macaroni salad. And then I looked over and I was like, someone had macaroni salad. I was like, where'd you get macaroni salad? They go, oh, it's in there. I go, wouldn't you put it next to the. Why would you have to go to a different place to get.

[Christine]

Well, listen, say bug management. Some of that stuff is nice if you have inside, but it's gotta be. Presentation is everything. Christine will tell you that.

[Don]

Yeah, Christine's presentation, off the charts. Almost, almost magazine esque. Almost like you don't want to touch it. Like when she puts it out, like, like I'm starving right away she'll come out with some type of weird carrot in a dip and then she'll come out with like another tray of thing and then the food comes out and you kind of have to wait till it's done because you know she wants to. To present it.

[Christine]

I know she also wants to like. I think it's to get rid of a lot of nonsense she buys because that's what it is. It comes out, it goes. Why do you think we need like, like 27 of these carrots out? Because we're going to throw them away when this is over. We're not going to put them back in the thing. They've been sitting out all day. And I think that's maybe the plan.

[Don]

Well, I do like the carrot. She does, she does. What are those carrots called again?

[Guest 3]

Trader Joe's.

[Guest 1]

And they're small and they're multicolor and I love them.

[Don]

There's a name for it, Numbers. It's a multi color carrot. I know there's a name like Artesian or something with an A. Artisan. No. Maybe. No, it's not it's not that. It's something. Something weird.

[Guest 1]

But I like baby rainbow carrots.

[Don]

No, it's a name.

[Christine]

You couldn't remember those words. Is it maybe a sweet baby carrot?

[Guest 1]

Oh, here we are.

[Don]

What is it?

[Christine]

Le petites.

[Don]

What's it called?

[Christine]

Le petites.

[Guest 1]

Is that what you're looking for?

[Christine]

Le petit.

[Don]

And now. That's not the name. It's another name for that type of carrot. It ambrosia. Something weird. Anyways, he does all this stuff and he has this dj and then we're sitting around and look, we can make any party fun. It was a great party.

[Christine]

We don't know what the hell the DJ was doing. Dude, the DJ stealing money.

[Guest 1]

I'd say his thing was like in. I was like, what? Just. Why were we all pulled over here?

[Christine]

I walked.

[Don]

I walked away.

[Christine]

I've never been more jealous of Keith not being able to move. He just stayed in the circle, Never lost a spot.

[Don]

I've never been more jealous of Voss not being able to hear. It was. It was nuts. It was nuts. And. And then. And then he.

[Christine]

He took me out to his Clubber Lang gym.

[Don]

Yeah, we went.

[Announcer]

We.

[Don]

Me and. Me and him.

[Christine]

Because my bench is from the 30s. I think it looks scary. All of his equipment looks like it's gonna scarily fall apart.

[Don]

But he's the only guy that actually makes money on his barbecues because he wound up selling a bike to Jay. And he sold me golf clubs. Yeah. And he grabbed the money, goes. That just paid for the dj. I'm like, you paid him a thousand?

[Christine]

Yeah. What the.

[Don]

What the was that?

[Christine]

You just paid for the dj? That's a thousand dollar gig.

[Guest 1]

He did throw in five folding chairs.

[Christine]

Oh, and he gave us five folding chairs to take home. Nice. That was just on top.

[Don]

Well, he did give me an extra three wood for Max.

[Christine]

That's cool.

[Don]

That is cool.

[Christine]

Listen, he is Jewish. The end, they throws you a little bit of a bargain. So you come back, you know, I mean, that's. That's the idea. You got to keep on the hook.

[Don]

He made twelve hundred dollars yesterday on his barbecue.

[Christine]

He did. All right.

[Don]

But I got a call today from Keith.

[Christine]

I got a sick ass bike.

[Don]

I got a call from Keith, violently angry at me. Keith. Keith. I picked up the phone.

[Christine]

Did you give him the. You gotta go. Nobody's going to. No, you didn't mention Keith to me. And you probably didn't mention me to Keith.

[Don]

I said to Keith, you going? He goes, I'm not going to that dummy's barbecue. His Last barbecue stunk.

[Guest 2]

Who else was there?

[Don]

It was Keith.

[Christine]

Keith Robinson friends.

[Don]

Dante showed up looking like something, I don't know, out of Demolition man or some type of prototype Gene he was wearing.

[Christine]

There's a lot. The man likes a lot of seams in his jeans.

[Don]

Yeah, he has zippers at his ankle.

[Christine]

Yeah, he's, you know, jeans that. Like a couple knee seams to go across and a couple of side seams. Maybe some pocket seams. Yeah, he looked maybe a. A multiple crosses decoration on a very large back pocket. Dane Cook.

[Don]

Yeah. Yeah, he really did look like the tin man from the Wiz.

[Christine]

For sure, dude. Captain eo. Yeah, Captain EO pants.

[Don]

Yeah, it was.

[Christine]

He goes, it's the bottom half of my starfighter uniform.

[Don]

K.P. burke was there. And then there was Voss's friends. Were there, like, Jersey comics. Was there guy Dave. This guy Dave who. Who was cooking for a little bit before you showed up. He cooked last time, too. He was on the grill. Good guy. He. First of all, he gives Voss all these golf clubs for nothing. He just showed up. He goes. He says to me, hey, Max, still playing? I go, yeah, he needs a couple clubs. He goes, I just bought him over a ton of clubs, so just tell him to take what he wants. And then Voss sold them to me for 200.

[Christine]

Nice.

[Don]

I like that.

[Christine]

Gave me it out. The thing I got was given to him from the Bert Kreischer Tour. They gave him the electric bike.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Finally got it.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Host]

But.

[Don]

Oh, me and. Me and Jay really. Me and Jay really smack. We really with his head, though. I called Jay before we were going. I go, we have to with him, because he told me last week he was. He was going to give it to me for 800. And then I said, 600. And then I told Jay, you should get the bike. Because I. I didn't really care about the bike because I have a bike.

[Christine]

I may have not even thought of it, but I saw him on Friday at the stand, and I said to him, I go, oh, you go. That bike you got, you trying to get rid of the bike. You don't ride it all? He's like, nah, yeah, I don't ride. I go, I'll buy it from me. I said, I'll get it on Sunday if I'm coming over anyway, if you want. I said, I'll buy it from me. I go, what are you doing, like a thousand for it? Or you kind of asked me, like, what? He goes, what do you. What do you want to pay for? I was like, I was like, a thousand? Because that's kind of what I heard. He goes, he goes, you don't have to do that. You just do 800. Which is funny because he said. And I said. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I go, it's. I mean, listen, it's a. It's way bargain for me still, you know, I mean, if I'm buying it, I was gonna. I want to buy one anyway. So it's a bargain for me. I don't worry, I'll take it to care of you. And then Bobby was like, oh, I'll tell him that. He said he was gonna sell to me. And we made was a 45 minute bit.

[Don]

Yeah, we kept going back and forth. And I was like, dude, you said you were gonna sell it to me.

[Christine]

Dawn was pulling money out of her fanny pack to like, like lay it down like she's the bank and everything. And then I'm like, no. I said, I'll go up to fourteen hundred dollars. I'll go up to. By accident. One time I said 14k. And Bobby broke character and goes, nah, I'm out. Then he was like, I don't want to take that seriously. And then we're too. He didn't want. I was like, no, no, I meant 1400. 1400, 14.

[Don]

We were going back and forth. I was like, you said you'd sell it. He goes, show me. He goes, show me the money. Didn't trust. I had the money. He goes, show me the money. And had Don pull out a fat thing of money.

[Christine]

Joey Vegas showed up like a deadbeat dad and stayed for 15 minutes and left. He pulled up, he put up in a loud Corvette and came in and stayed for 15 minutes and started shaking hands. Goodbye.

[Guest 2]

I mean, he sounds perfect. Sounds like.

[Christine]

I think he's from the 70s. I think he's from the 70s or something.

[Don]

He's a comic. That was. Yeah, he was. He was big.

[Christine]

It's like his stories are all going to be like, I got to open for Feliciano. There you go.

[Don]

Mark Anthony. He opens for Mark Anthony.

[Christine]

There you go.

[Don]

He actually. He lives walking distance to Voss's house.

[Christine]

Yeah, I call him Mexican Nate.

[Don]

I. Because I was driving your bike around the corner and I saw him pull out of his driveway to drive.

[Christine]

Oh, is that of his driveway?

[Don]

Yeah, he lives walking distance. He pulled in, he pulled the Corvette out to drive it up to the front of the house.

[Christine]

He lives in the same subdivision.

[Don]

Lives in the same subdivision. I think that's where all Jersey comics go to die.

[Christine]

Because I've recognized that's where Vinnie Brand's gonna. Is back there. Everybody's back there. Who's a. Who's some of the other ones? Vinnie Brand, Eric McMahon. Eric McMahon's floating around back there.

[Don]

Levy, I'm gonna say this. Keith Robinson called me today. He's like, I blame you. I go, what? He goes, voss, that. But he goes, he gave me a hot dog with just mustard. And he goes, and did he have

[Christine]

both mustards at least? Did he have like.

[Don]

No.

[Christine]

Did he have a brown and a yellow?

[Don]

Yellow. Just yellow.

[Christine]

Just bright yellow.

[Don]

Just bright yellow. Just bright yellow, by the way.

[Christine]

And then I prefer bright yellow. You gotta have a spicy brown for people.

[Don]

That's to Keith. Keith, who's sitting in the chair over there. Can't meet.

[Christine]

Can't believe it.

[Don]

Can't move. Keith goes, he didn't give me. He goes, he didn't give me a choice. And nothing. He goes, it's yellow mustard or nothing to his friend.

[Christine]

Was the relish there?

[Don]

I don't know. I have no idea. I tell you what if there was relish, Sauerkraut. Nope. Maybe some chopped ons, Barbecue sauce in a squeeze bottle. I don't know what you put that on, but Texas barbecue, there was no barbecue.

[Christine]

No, I'm saying that's what you would use. A squeeze bottle of barbecue sauce makes.

[Don]

Keith was like you. I. He goes, I blame you. He goes, you. You just quit doing the barbecue and you never gave us notice. You just left. You just had one and you didn't tell us it was the last one. He goes, it's your fault. He goes, you owe us one more barbecue.

[Christine]

That's fair.

[Don]

And I go. He goes, I want a goodbye. Voss's barbecue stinks. Barbecue.

[Christine]

I see you do it this coming weekend. Fourth of July, dude, you're out of your mind.

[Don]

And no, I'm going to say this. I'm turning over the reigns to you for this weekend. No, you're the new barbecue place. You're the new out. We're having a barbecue at least once a summer. You're going to take over the. Because you have the pool, you got the Jacuzzi, you got the backyard, you got the parking. You're not too far away. You're perfect from the city. And you guys know how to put on a well feast.

[Christine]

That solidifies it. That makes the decision I've been waiting to make myself for a while. And that answers it for me. I gotta sell this house.

[Don]

No, no.

[Christine]

I gotta get rid of this place. I can't have that kind of responsibility.

[Don]

You're the barbecue.

[Christine]

I've been like, should I get rid of this fucking house? For a while now? And now that's it. That's the sign. Get the fuck out of there. Get back to an apartment that you understand, where no one's expecting you to have a fucking barbecue at your apartment.

[Guest 1]

I love, loved throwing the barbecues in the East Village that we would do at our friend's house. I really like hosting a barbecue. I honestly like. I like when we make the guest list. I like having all of our friends around.

[Christine]

Oh, well, don't worry. They just said that on the show. He's gonna text you later to let you know, like you to this weekend.

[Don]

I'm gonna send you my guest list over.

[Guest 2]

I have it.

[Don]

I have it in a spreadsheet. I'm gonna send over all the things we did. And you're gonna have to get some type of truck to show up. You gotta do well. You guys have the bento boxes. You can do that. You guys know what the fuck you're doing. I feel like I'm handing it off to a good set of people to take over the barbecue. I'm gonna do one last one. I'm selling. No, you're not selling us.

[Christine]

You gotta have a biggie, though.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Don]

I'm gonna have one last, last goodbye barbecue, but the list is gonna be a little shorter. I'm gonna not invite. I'm not gonna invite. I'm not gonna invite Josh, but I want to see if he shows up.

[Host]

He will.

[Don]

I'm not gonna invite him, but he can show up. I just want to see if he shows up.

[Christine]

He's going to.

[Don]

Hey, man. I heard you were having a barbecue. Hard to find this place without the address.

[Christine]

Me and you, we could order in some barbecue and watch fireworks. From my.

[Don]

I'm gonna be in my apartment. I'm in. I'm at Mothership this year.

[Christine]

Next year, when you were expecting my big house barbecue, we could be in my apartment watching from a high floor.

[Guest 1]

Thank God. I just realized. I just remembered how Fourth of July was ruined the year before last.

[Don]

Why Josh? Oh, yeah, there you go. You got Joshed.

[Christine]

No, I got Joshed. I guess he joshed the group, but I was at my Josh limit. So when he came out, I was like, well, I'm not gonna do any more of this. I'm just gonna. I'm not gonna enjoy this at all. So let me just get the fuck out of here. I split.

[Don]

Yeah, Voss, it's done.

[Christine]

You need no more barbecues for him.

[Don]

I mean, no more birthdays, dude. It's all of two hours to get to his house. And then when you. When you got there, and the fact that I had a little thin smash burger, Max had to eat five burgers.

[Christine]

We went home and ordered Italian.

[Don]

Yeah, actually, we went home and Don cooked pasta and chicken.

[Christine]

Yeah, we got some Italian.

[Don]

That's one thing when you go to Voss's barbecue. We were looking for restaurants to hit on the way back, just in case.

[Christine]

It was just Amish lands. They all close early because they had to wake up of it for.

[Guest 1]

The odd thing about the food was that towards the end of the party, Voss was really trying to push off.

[Christine]

He was unloaded, unpresented food. He was like. He goes, I have these two full trays of sandwiches I never put out. You go, you want to take them home and bring them to the bonfire? It was like.

[Guest 1]

But it was while he was being made fun of for not having food. It was very.

[Christine]

He's like, no food. I got two full trays of sandwiches. He goes, in your refriger. Like, no one knows this. No one was presented one.

[Don]

Yeah, but it did.

[Christine]

That would have been the freshest. That would have been the freshest food we would have had because we got there late, so that would have been the freshest food we would have. So I probably would have grabbed a sandwich, just a little walking around.

[Guest 1]

Do you have one now? Do I have to take it home?

[Christine]

Yeah, I feel now. He goes, I said that. I go. I go, we'll take a couple home. Maybe a couple pieces or something. He goes, I can't break up the tray. It's an old trick.

[Announcer]

Oh, well.

[Christine]

I'm like, all right, then. I was like, then I can. He goes. And he goes. He goes, what? You guys, it was a half. There's not like a frig. A second fridge or something. Do you have the refrigerator room? He goes, one of the refrigerators is all drinks. That's for entertaining, buddy.

[Don]

He is every bit of what he is.

[Christine]

Good drinks, like, they're good. They didn't run out of soda cans. I'm always appreciative of that. Instead of making people pour sodas, they

[Don]

had waters, but they had baby waters.

[Christine]

All right, that's cheap. That means they stole that from a comedy club or something.

[Guest 1]

No, I like. Here's the thing about baby waters is that people finish them and throw them away, and you don't have a bunch of half empty bottles laying around. Okay? But I like baby Bot.

[Don]

I I hate the baby bottle because it's two sips and you're done.

[Christine]

I want a. I feel like nobody takes the baby bottles is the issue.

[Don]

Nobody wants a ba. I'm a grown man. I want a bottle of water. And you know what? If there's a half bottle at the end off, throw it out.

[Christine]

This is America.

[Don]

Yes, it's America. That's why you have a second fridge to put all the water. You know what?

[Christine]

The baby bottles, they were hitting them up.

[Don]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Christine]

The white man marches on.

[Guest 1]

I do have to say. Bonnie made a homemade salsa.

[Christine]

We're taking back the Zog machine. Jew by Jew by Jew. The white man marches.

[Don]

I talked to Bonnie and Bonnie, please,

[Christine]

a little respect for the revolution. Seeing the glory of the truth.

[Don]

I did talk to Bonnie, and she said. He got. He kept bugging me about this barbecue, and I said, I'm not doing anything. I have a skateboard class at 6. So as long as it's over by 6. She didn't. She didn't. She goes, I don't care, because she's done with it. She's like, you can do it, but you have to do it, boss Voss can't do it. He's. He doesn't have.

[Christine]

Is it insulting? Why don't you throw the barbecue at bosses, dude?

[Don]

I was five seconds away from getting on that grill. I was getting annoyed.

[Christine]

But there wasn't enough stuff to do anything about it.

[Don]

No, there was probably. He probably has a lot more burgers somewhere in a freezer that he didn't take out. Out there was.

[Christine]

He probably can't do the steps like he used to.

[Don]

He was taking food. He was taking food out as people needed it. Like, it was.

[Christine]

It was like, do you have cheese? He's like, sandwiches are crazy. Do you have cheese? He goes, let me go downstairs to the basement fridge, see if we have cheese for cheeseburgers.

[Don]

Yeah, dude. There was eight wings. He cooked eight wings. Eight wings. At the end of the party. And then was like, anybody want a wing? No, we don't want a wing because we've already had enough chips and salsa. And desserts were full on. The things you're not supposed to be full on.

[Christine]

Well, he knew none of his black friends were showing up, so he only made eight wings.

[Don]

I'm throwing a party, I think at the end of August. I'm gonna throw one. Goodbye. Never happening again. This is over the way it should be done.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Don]

And then I'm handing it off to you.

[Christine]

It's gonna be a lot of People in my apartment.

[Don]

It's gonna. It's gonna be at your house.

[Christine]

Maybe I'll get a garden apartment. So we'll be small outside.

[Don]

How about this? How about this? You do a barbecue. I'll cook. I'll do the grill. Okay, I'll do the grill. Yeah, I'll grill. I'll come over early, and I'll do the grilling for everybody. That's what I did with Louis when he threw his barbecue.

[Christine]

It's just the thing that's gonna be on a rooftop where it's, like communal barbecues. So it's like you have to share it with a bunch of, like, Chinese

[Don]

people that are up there. Needs a party. Your house. And your house is perfect for the party. You have a pool. You have the Jacuzzi. You have the TV outside your understand? We went from a driveway in Patrice's backyard to my backyard, which was just backyard until I got that little weird pool. And then. And then now we went to Voss's to kind of realize that, hey, this isn't working.

[Christine]

And you just got me thinking about all those upgrades. I bet I could sell it back to the original owners and be like, this is what you meant. Hey, remember when you put up a. Remember you put up a sticker of Stonewall? And then I had to actually stone it because I thought it was a stone wall. You face Bobby Kelly. He's gonna be the Comedy Mothership in Austin, Texas, July 3rd through the 5th. And then Portsmouth, New Hampshire, one night only. Two shows, July 25th. After that, Saratoga Springs, September 11th and 12th, never forget. And then Brooklyn, New York, on September 27th.

[Guest 3]

6th.

[Christine]

Oh, he's moving and shaking. For tickets and all the tour dates, visit Punch Up Live Robert Kelly. Also August. If anyone's available, you can come to his last party that's open to all public. Check out Bobby's new YouTube channel at Robert Kelly.

[Don]

Don't tell Josh.

[Christine]

Every Tuesday night. He'll make it. He's gonna be. He'll be the first one there. Hey, am I too early? You can catch Bobby every Tuesday night.

[Don]

Jay coming? Is he coming? He's coming, right? Is he coming? Because I wore this fingernail paws just for him.

[Christine]

I like that he panicked. I like that.

[Don]

He really did.

[Christine]

You can see Bobby every Tuesday night, 7pm the fat black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar.

[Don]

Big J is gonna be the Comedy zone in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, July 10th through the 12th. After that, he's gonna be in Winnipeg, Richmond and Long island for tickets and tour dates. BigJ, comedy.com and YouTube.com/at Big J Okerson. The barbecue boy. The new. The. The altar. You are the. The sword has been passed to you, buddy. It's all you.

[Christine]

I think we should add. You know what, dude? Skank story wars to our things.

[Don]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Those are just pertinent things that we all do that like.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Should get our attention here.

[Don]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Almost more than our YouTubes, I guess. Well, now we gotta make sure people listen to YouTube too.

[Guest 2]

Now.

[Christine]

You know what? I don't know.

[Don]

We're good.

[Christine]

Let's just take a break. Just keep. I gotta be here. Made it through the entire half of the show without getting to the subject I'm worried about. Oh, yeah.

[Guest 2]

Looking forward to it.

[Don]

Oh, when we get back, we have

[Christine]

some juice, we have a bonfire, we

[Don]

have some tea to spill.

[Host]

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[Guest 3]

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