The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Welcome To The Heroes Club
Air date: February 24, 2026
Platform: SiriusXM Faction Talk, Channel 103

Episode Overview

In this laid-back but raucous installment, Jay and Bobby banter their way through stories of heroism — or, at least, what passes as heroics among comics. The episode’s main thread is Jay’s self-proclaimed induction into the “Heroes Club,” sparking stories about awkward good deeds, newfound empathy, and the sometimes absurd minefield of public encounters. The duo veer comedically through topics such as Facebook oversharing, the travails of older comics, TSA pat-downs, and comic Sue Costello's public battle with CBS, always returning to the theme of life's minor victories and embarrassing stumbles.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Heroes Club & Jay's "Heroic" Act

• Jay's Story: Jay recounts an incident at a Raleigh restaurant where he, after an awkward misunderstanding, offers leftover fried green tomatoes to a man he realizes is mentally challenged and then pays for the table's meal.

  • Jay’s pride about the good deed is playfully picked apart by Bobby and the crew.
  • Bobby recalls his own “heroic” story about saving a girl in the ocean, drawing a mock rivalry between his and Jay’s actions.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Jay (09:04): “The bonfire is now a room with two heroes in it. Two heroes.”
  • Jay (15:20): “I thought you were gonna say, welcome to the Heroes club.”
  • Jay (14:30): “I'm not, we're not eating any more of these tomatoes. If you want to try them before you order them … And he went, yeah. And then he took them and he ate them, and he went, they're really good.”
  • Bobby (23:06): “If you're going to be a real hero in this situation. The tomatoes that you gave him. This matters. Were you going to eat them or did you have the will to eat those tomatoes, stopped yourself from eating them to give them to him?”

• Memorable Moment (17:00):

  • Jay describes the man’s enthusiastic enjoyment: “So fast. And he held it like. Like, you know, like mess hall, fork style … and it was on his face a little.”

• Reflection on Empathy:

  • Jay claims the incident transformed him, declaring he’s an “empath” now, prompting comic mockery from Bobby and the team.

2. Aging, The Comedy Grind, & Health

• Bobby’s Health Story (05:54-07:26):

  • Bobby reflects on his visit to Mike Calta in Florida. Despite an initial healthy streak, he's hilariously derailed by indulgent eating with friends.
  • Jay and Bobby riff on weight loss, shirt sizes, and the constant temptation of unhealthy habits.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Bobby (06:26): “If I move down there, I have to move far. We can't be near each other because I will just be a tub of shit.”

3. Facebook Drama & Comic Oversharing

• Comic Facebook Rants (30:16-33:41):
  • The crew discuss older comics’ tendency to air personal grievances and finances on Facebook, with Jay and Bobby mock-analyzing a friend's outrage over splitting a restaurant bill.
  • They joke about being out of the Facebook algorithm and “bookmarking” long rants for bathroom reading.

4. The Saga of Sue Costello

• Ongoing CBS Drama (35:01-43:13):

  • Jay reads selections from comic Sue Costello’s intense, grievance-filled Facebook posts, in which she describes perceived betrayals by the industry and CBS. The comics riff on her resilience, her signature “Boston” posting style, and propose having her as a guest and even love interest for producer Jacob.
  • Bobby and Jay speculate about the truths (or not) behind her account.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Jay (36:03, reading Sue Costello): “My whole body has goosebumps. It's called chicken skin. Like the night after week of Jim Burroughs directing me down because Penelope Ann Miller was horrible only to have Les Moonves scream in front of a live audience. Where the fuck is Costello's personality?”
  • Jay (41:14, paraphrasing Sue): "She wants you to know that everyone is beating her down and she climbs through it and rises above. But every day she has to do that."
  • Jay (49:01): “Les Moonves may have been her hero or the worst person ever. I can't really pay attention … I just read them now for context.”

5. Navigating Awkward Social Encounters

• TSA Pat-Down Story (50:47-53:40):

  • Jay describes an uncomfortable encounter with a TSA agent who needed to pat down a suspicious “area” flagged by the scanner. The story devolves into jokes about public masturbation, the loneliness of the aging process, and the innate embarrassment of such personal searches.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Jay (52:00): “I just took it and … I mean, I forgot about it until this moment. So I guess it wasn't that traumatizing. I already came to it.”
  • Jay (53:20): “Cop frisking the black dude. What is it right here? What is this right here? He goes. My penis.”

6. Bread, Baked Goods & Comedy Fans

• The Artisanal Yeast Story (56:47):
  • Bobby describes visiting “Bread Bandits,” a bakery run by fans that uses a 140-year-old yeast smuggled from Canada.
  • Jay and Bobby marvel at the dedication required to keep the yeast alive and compare it to caring for a dog or baby.

7. Jacob’s Romantic Prospects & Ranch Life

• Matchmaking for Jacob (43:14-46:49):
  • The crew attempts to set up producer Jacob with Sue Costello, riffing on her small stature, strong personality, and their potential as a couple on “the ranch.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [05:54-07:51] Bobby’s diet, weight loss, and unhealthy weekends with Mike Calta
• [09:04-16:14] Jay’s “heroic” story at the restaurant — the core “Heroes Club” narrative
• [22:45-24:17] Deciding whether Jay’s act was truly heroic, given he didn’t like the tomatoes
• [30:16-33:41] Facebook oversharing and comic drama
• [35:01-43:13] Dramatic readings and commentary on Sue Costello’s CBS saga and Facebook posts
• [43:14-46:49] Setting up Jacob with Sue, joking about ranch life and relationships
• [50:47-53:40] Jay’s TSA pat-down story and “dick pat” jokes
• [56:47-57:32] “Bread Bandits” story — the 140-year-old yeast from Canada

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Facebook Meltdowns:
  • Jay: “Oh, dude, I put a bookmark in Sue Costello post to go take a shit. Like, when I'm done taking a shit, it lasts longer than my shit.” ([32:30])
• On Aging Comics:
  • Bobby: “I'm not cheating on my wife with my wife. You know what I mean?” ([56:14])
• On Empathy:
  • Jay: “I'm starting to find out that I'm an empath. I'm a total empath.” ([21:50])
• Inventing the “Hadamak” (playing off Sue Costello’s Facebook style):
  • Jay: “My father was right. I'm a real hard maca. I'm hard to Mac the same way a diamond is hard to Mac. Everybody tries to scratch their name into me and I'm the diamond, just laughing and stay flawless.” ([39:14])

Overall Tone and Flavor

• Irreverent & Candid:
  The Bonfire’s signature is its blend of heartfelt camaraderie and caustic, off-color humor. No taboo is left untouched, no story safe from ribbing.

• Authentic Comic Energy:
  Conversations wind through inside-baseball comedy, public awkwardness, and genuine moments of self-reflection, but always punctuated by sarcasm, affection, and mutual busting.

• Recurring Themes:

  • The bittersweet realities of aging and adjusting in show business
  • Conceding that small acts of kindness sometimes stem from guilt or self-interest
  • The volatile emotional lives of comics on and offstage
  • The importance of empathy — and the comic limits of their own compassion

Summary for Listeners

“Welcome To The Heroes Club” is classic Bonfire: loose, sharp, and unpredictable. Jay and Bobby’s bickering is especially strong as they test the boundaries of what earns someone hero status, grapple with getting older and less relevant, and roast Sue Costello’s relentless industry battle and Facebook style in excruciating detail. It's an episode rich with inside jokes and relatable cringe, ideal for fans of rough-edged but sincere comic talk.

For the best part, listen between [09:04-16:14] for the Heroes Club story, and [35:01-43:13] for Sue Costello’s Facebook saga.