Women's Wolf Haircut

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode: “Women’s Wolf Haircut”
Date: April 14, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly—joined by regulars Jacob and Christine—deliver their trademark freewheeling comedy as they descend into a spirited and raunchy debate about women’s "wolf cut" haircuts. Their conversation veers hilariously into 80s nostalgia, pop culture, the specifics of “cool” and uncool, and the nature of musical theater, eventually culminating in a detailed review of "The Outsiders" musical. Throughout, the hosts roast each other, riff on the aesthetics of their own lives, and get lost in fits of laughter dissecting current fads, all while keeping listeners entertained with their honest and irreverent perspective.

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Show Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Shades Day and Jacob as “Our Jordan Schlansky”

• The hosts and Jacob arrive in “cool guy” mode, all donning various sunglasses (01:03 – 02:00).
• Jay and Bobby poke fun at Jacob’s seriousness, likening him to Conan’s recurring deadpan character Jordan Schlansky (02:13).
• Jokes escalate about setting up a “Jacob Zoo Cam” to observe his reclusive weekend sloth lifestyle (02:58).
• Hilarious riff on Jacob hiring a prostitute and using a trampoline to bounce onto his tall bed, with Jay and Bobby offering to split the cost for the experience (03:30 – 04:07).

Notable Quote:
Big Jay: “Either way, this weekend, I want you fucking a prostitute on a trampoline.” (04:00)

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2. Real Estate Daydreams & Loving the Functionality

• Bobby discuss his love of browsing real estate apps, but sometimes forgets the name of his own New Hampshire town (06:24).
• Jay and Bobby’s recurring old-man fantasy: to buy and roam their own big piece of land, and reveling in how “functionality” is a satisfying word (06:34 – 07:40).
• Jay roasts Bobby for wanting an ATV and hunting lifestyle “substantially younger” than his age allows—“You’re going to fuck yourself up on an ATV so bad you’re never going back to your land again” (07:59).
• The guys clown on casino entertainment and faux Native American ancestry, leading to riffs about being punished with a “vision quest” and what tribal sentencing might entail (09:16 – 09:53).

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3. The Wolf Haircut Debate: Is It Sexy or Trashy?

• Bobby brings up his fondness for the “wolf cut” hairstyle on women—a wild, 80s-inspired cut—while Jay, Christine, and Jacob question his taste (10:09 – 14:39).
• The conversation turns into a recurring gag, with Bobby defending his aesthetic preferences amidst playful accusations that he likes men or “trashy” women.
• The group references pop culture examples: Stranger Things, Janet Jackson in “Pleasure Principle,” and even 80s rockers like Sebastian Bach and Steven Pearcy.
• Christine provides images, and the group critiques various versions of the wolf cut, debating what technically counts as one.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby: “It’s wild. It’s untamed. It’s like she got out of a pond or a river and just—” (15:57)
• Jay: “This haircut will never make an unattractive girl attractive. No fucking way.” (24:12)
• Bobby: “Well, what haircut makes an unattractive girl attractive? Long hair so you can cover that face.” (24:14)

Subtopics:

• Wolf Cut On “Chubby” Women: The crew looks up viral TikTok wolf cuts for plus-size women and reacts—mostly mercilessly (37:56 – 40:50).
• Personal Nostalgia: Bobby credits the 80s as his “peak bang time,” associating the haircut with the girls from his youth (17:38).

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4. The Role of Gender and Trendy Hair: Resistance and Attraction

• The episode features humorous speculation (sometimes veering into provocative territory) on why women pursue “ugly trends,” and the idea that “fat girls can’t get a wolf cut” (24:27 – 24:29).
• Jacob dryly comments, “I feel it is an era of women doing a lot of things to purposely be unattractive.” (14:42)

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5. Janet Jackson, Pop Culture, and Masturbation Memories

• A deep dive into Janet Jackson’s hair transformations, especially her “Pleasure Principle” look, and the soft rivalry on which era is “the sexiest Janet” (25:21 – 27:30).
• DJ Lou confesses: the first time he masturbated, it was to Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat” video (29:12).
• This admission prompts a riff about the confusing milestones of “losing your virginity” versus “discovering jizz,” with everyone probing for embarrassing early sexuality stories.

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6. Back to Hair: Artistic Obsession and Fat Art

• Bobby jokes about sketching fat women with wolf cuts; Jay introduces the works of Spanish artist Botero, famous for painting rotund figures (40:31 – 41:40).
• The crew considers dressing as “two little fat English schoolboys one day,” fantasizing about various dress-up shows they could do in the studio (42:01 – 42:24).

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7. Review: “The Outsiders” Musical, DEI, and Broadway Trends

• Bobby recounts a weekend trip to see “The Outsiders” on Broadway, comically shocked to find out it’s a musical despite buying tickets (45:23).
• He explains the modern, diverse cast choices—including a Black Dally and a Black female Greaser—contrasted against the expected all-white original, poking fun at woke-era casting (47:05 – 48:21).
• Jay and Bobby lampoon how such changes alter the plot: “You can’t have him be shot by the cops because that's how Dally goes down.” (48:04)
• Bobby admits to tearing up “twice” during the show, while his son Max “keeps it inside” (51:05).
• The group invents increasingly absurd ways Dally could be killed (from type 2 diabetes to AIDS to trampoline accidents), mocking Broadway’s softened endings and DEI constraints (52:24 – 56:10).

Notable Quote:
Jay: “If you see three Broadway musicals in one year and one wolf cut, I think we run up the ladder—you’re allowed to say it.” (57:29)

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8. Loose Ends: Wrap-up & Merch Plugs

• Bobby and Jay wrap up with show and tour announcements (59:14).
• DJ Lou promotes his new Bonfire T-shirt; jokes about needing the money for “moving out of the ghetto” and “child support” fly (60:16 – 60:56).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Either way, this weekend, I want you fucking a prostitute on a trampoline.” – Big Jay (04:00)
• “You’re going to fuck yourself up on an ATV so bad you’re never going back to your land again.” – Jay (07:59)
• “This haircut will never make an unattractive girl attractive. No fucking way.” – Jay (24:12)
• “Well, what haircut makes an unattractive girl attractive? Long hair so you can cover that face.” – Bobby (24:14)
• “Bobby, that girl right there is far more attractive on the left with her regular flat hair.” – Jay (18:23)
• “I feel it is an era of women doing a lot of things to purposely be unattractive.” – Jacob (14:42)
• “You want stupid slut hair?” – Jay (37:47)
• “I like stupid slut hair.” – Bobby (37:48)
• “She went to rehab at 11, so she’s like you.” – Christine, about Drew Barrymore (44:35)
• “If you see three Broadway musicals in one calendar year and one wolf cut, I think you’re allowed to say it.” – Jay (57:29)

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Recommended Segments to Listen To

• Wolf Cut Deep Dive: The main run from 10:00 – 25:00 is a showcase of the group’s comedic chemistry, with non-stop riffs on haircuts, gender, tastes, and 80s/90s culture.
• Janet Jackson & First-Time Masturbation Stories: 25:00 – 30:00 for pop-culture nostalgia and confessions.
• "The Outsiders" Broadway Review: 45:00 – 57:00 for dissecting modern casting, Broadway comedy, and genuine emotion with irreverence.

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Conclusion

This episode is a perfect encapsulation of The Bonfire’s madcap, loose format, where a trivial topic (women’s wolf haircuts) grows into a sprawling web of nostalgia, social satire, candid confessions, and unfiltered hilarity. Jay and Bobby continually roast each other and everyone in the studio, blending sincerity with sarcasm and refusing to let each other off the hook. Combining sharp pop culture insight with gloriously off-color commentary, “Women’s Wolf Haircut” is a must-listen for fans seeking both laughs and a trip through the hosts’ wild, uncensored brains.

Transcript

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[Host]

now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

You all right there kid? What's going on?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Trying to see the exact right way to put these headphones on. Sorry. Shades day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shades day. Jacob, you got shades? Do you have clip on shades to your glasses? I'm sorry.

[Jacob]

These are transitions. Actually they do become sunglasses, but not

[Big Jay Oakerson]

just when you need to be cool. Like now, right. Like us right now. We're being so cool.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, look over here. Now look over there. Oh, he's not being cool when he's messing with his chain to nowhere. That'll be cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was this. Oh, this is cool. I don't even know if I care.

[Bobby Kelly]

How cool are we? How cool? Because you're cool.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Cool people don't care.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't give a. I like it.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's up?

[Jacob]

I like yours. You have the Bono shades, the. The tint.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have a fade or as I like to say, ombre.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you saying? I look like an asshole?

[Jacob]

Yours are full sunglasses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Bobby's are one touch cooler. Bobby's got a leather jacket to make up for the lack of cool. The glasses do.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do. And to hide my side fat on a T shirt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm wearing silly gloves so I need dark glasses.

[Bobby Kelly]

We were comparing Jacob to. What's his name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jordan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jordan Slansky.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jordan Schlansky.

[Bobby Kelly]

Schlansky. On Conan he's our Jordan Schlansky.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He does look a lot like him.

[Bobby Kelly]

He looks like him and he acts like him because he's very serious. About the things he likes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like we brought up Japan and we were like, we should go to Japan with Jacob and ruin it and not bow. He goes, you have to bow. Jacob's like, you have to bow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Jacob's definitely tucking in his button down shirt on a Sunday kind of guy. He's not gonna bring in the noise and bring in the funk wherever he goes, the way you'd hope.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he's gonna honor the Japanese tradition

[Jacob]

to the T. I'm a sloth in my apartment.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Huh?

[Jacob]

I don't get out of my sweatpants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, in your apartment. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair enough.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would love to just video. I would love to just put a ring camera in Jacob's apartment for a weekend.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just so we could all watch him like a. Like a. Almost like a zoo type thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Watch him traverse. Watch him traverse the side of his bed to get on top of it so he can masturbate.

[Jacob]

Bobby, you've literally done everything that I do in the weekend. You've done the band workout with me. That's it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't. I didn't cry in a bed alone.

[Jacob]

No, that's true.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't do that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why'd you look in the prostitutes? Yes.

[Jacob]

I don't want to be.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This might just be the sunglasses talking. I think you should think about some prostitutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I say a prostitute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get them over, ask them for their family rate. I winked. You can't tell.

[Bobby Kelly]

I say get a prostitute and a trampoline so you don't have to climb on the bed. You can vault. You can vault onto the bed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have you thought about vaulting onto your bed at night? That might bring some fun into the house.

[Jacob]

It's a high mattress.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. You can vault onto a prostitute. How cool would that be?

[Jacob]

I do have to hop up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you won't have to if we get you this trampoline. You're gonna have to get the prostitute. Or we'll get the prostitute. You get the trampoline. Or me and Bobby could split the cost of both. Either way, this weekend I want you fucking a prostitute on a trampoline.

[Bobby Kelly]

Are you in or are you out?

[Jacob]

I can't.

[Bobby Kelly]

We need an answer now, Jacob.

[Jacob]

No, I'm out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Jacob]

I'm sorry.

[Bobby Kelly]

If we pay for it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Listen, this guy hates fun and pussy.

[Bobby Kelly]

What if we get him a girlfriend experience with a girl? You won't even know. You won't even know.

[Jacob]

I'll know in a second.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'll know when she takes her wig

[Bobby Kelly]

off and puts it on a lamp.

[Jacob]

A strange, hot girl just comes up to me and is immediately interested in

[Big Jay Oakerson]

me in a dress way overdressed for the situation of bumping into you in Astoria.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's got dirty fingernails.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I also go to this bodega to buy protein. Oh, funny seeing you here. I'm also here to buy a weird drink.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love kale. Just kale.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love just kale. Or Jacob Foggy Falls. He starts seeing the Dreamweaver fog when she goes. It's a cheat day, so I'm getting some Grape Nuts. Dreamweaver, I believe you can get in

[Jacob]

a second if for some reason an unusually attractive woman just started talking with me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know what kind of money you think they're paying us over here, but I don't know how unusually attractive she's gonna be.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's gonna be pretty mediocre for Queens. Yeah, you're going to get a queen six.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's going to be 40 with a faded Bam Bam tattoo on her titty.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're going to get a Queen 6 or a Tampa 8. Let me ask you a question. She's going to be wearing, like, some type of panther material, too, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Some Jaguar shirt, blouse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, some real. Yeah. Tacky as shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she's definitely going to have, like, some black dude's name on her butt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want her to have dry lips but heavily lipsticked so you see every red line.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the lipstick's in her teeth, too, because she did have lunch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's also a little on her teeth.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, let me ask you a question. Is there a movie. Wasn't there a movie where somebody did that? But they fell. Was there, like they. He. The girl fell in love with him. Is that a movie?

[Jacob]

True romance.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I couldn't believe it's what he was asking. We've made this reference to this situation before.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm sorry. Hey, bro. Listen, man. Alabama buddy.

[Jacob]

I'm in.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've only had one sip of my Body Brain coffee today, so just cut me a little bit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So it only got. Your body hasn't hit the brain yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

It hasn't hit the brain, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Got you. Take that Brain sip. There he is.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's up, man?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Now he's back in the game.

[Bobby Kelly]

My favorite movie, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Body Brain.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Dude, yesterday, I couldn't remember the town I live in in New Hampshire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

New Hampshire.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was trying to, like, go. I like to go to the real real estate app and just look at houses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hello.

[Bobby Kelly]

I go to. It's called Realtor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Zillow I like. But I like Realtor a little better.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just the functionality, Jay, is a little better. And. And I do love saying the word functionality.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like that too. I like hearing it come out of your mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

Functionality.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I was trying to go to this place and I'm like, where do we. What's the town I live in? In fucking. I couldn't come up with it. I couldn't fucking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have it now.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have it now.

[Jacob]

It's the lake, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. It's a. It's one of the lakes, but it's the town on the lake. Because I like to look to see if anything's, you know, something. Somebody died. You know, there's a lot of old

[Big Jay Oakerson]

people up there trying to take over a property.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd love to take over someone's property. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you gonna do with your tiny house? Make a shed?

[Bobby Kelly]

I got. I wanna. I want another piece of land up there. I want land. I want like 50 acres. I want to like go up there on like a. ATV or dirt bikes or camp out on it, hunt on it. I want a piece of land. I want real land. You know what I mean, Jay? Because, man, I want land.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You keep saying that, but the answer to the next question can't just be the same answer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I want to be able to go on my land and camp on it, hike it, work it. I don't want to work it. I'm not going to fucking work the land. I'm not going to do crops and shit. I just want to be able to go and camp on it, hunt on it, dirt, bike on it, make a trail, you know, just have a nice piece of land.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, Everything you named was something you do when you are. What's the nice way to say this, Lou? Substantially younger than you are.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're going to fuck yourself up on an ATV so bad you're never going back to your land again. And you're going to try to sell back to the engines. And I call them engines. Still, I haven't forgiven them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You shouldn't. They were savages, right? They were.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why did they get such a pass just because we stole their land and took all their stuff?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we actually wound up beating them because we used their tactics. Did you know that, Jacob, you had

[Big Jay Oakerson]

to get savage, defeat a savage?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, dude. We were fighting and we'd slap in the face with a white glove and they just stab us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then eventually we just said, hey, guys, three dog knights playing in the lions den of this casino, you guys want to own it? Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

First they went, how?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's your land. We're gonna have Vince Neil playing there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Two original members of Ambrosia are playing in the lion's den this evening.

[Bobby Kelly]

How funny is it that when you go there and you see the. The white lady with a 1% Cherokee on the wall, it's the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Doris.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, exactly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Doris barefoot. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Doris Sullivan. Her great, great, great grandmother was raped in a raid. A Cherokee raid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Man, I want to get arrested up there so bad. I want to go in front of the high council. I would love that. I would love to be. To have. To submit to, like, Indian Native American punishments.

[Bobby Kelly]

You'd have to go in the parking lot and just stay there for a week until you saw a wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe that. Go work in the denim jacket factory. What if it's that cool one where they make you. Where they put the hooks in your tits and they hang you until you have a vision?

[Bobby Kelly]

So you have a vision. You need to go to have a vision.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe a vision quest. Could I be sentenced to a vision quest? I'll ask them. Sure. Yeah. I didn't pay for that drink. Maybe I could. Maybe a vision quest would be.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to take your chain to nowhere, melt it down, and make some type of Indian. Like a feather man. A metal feather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I do feel you guys would respect me so much more if I came in here with like a full wolf on my head and back. Just like his fangs were coming over my eyes.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's my. My favorite haircut for women. The wolf cut. You see the wolf cut?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Like a giant wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. There's a thing called the wolf cut they're giving girls now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. You don't like this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think I know what it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like it. I just saw it on the subway and I almost said, hey, nice wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you watch Task?

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't know if she had a wolf cut or she was just Jewish.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you watch Task?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I couldn't get back into it. I went to night agent, switched off of it because you set me up wrong. What? You both set me up. That it's fast. It goes from the beginning.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, you watch. You watched an episode. It's crazy what you're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

I watched an episode. But you said it was like action and. Oh, my God. And right from the get go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I didn't even say it was ton of action. I said the story's intense and it gets like, right away by episode three, they're resolving Things that you thought were gonna be the final thing I heard.

[Bobby Kelly]

I heard it wrong. I thought it right from the get go. It was gonna be like, holy shit. And it took a long time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The night sucks. Night agent's awesome and his haircut blows.

[Bobby Kelly]

You the wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You like boys, dude?

[Bobby Kelly]

So what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

These guys look like Jakey Lee.

[Bobby Kelly]

You love coming on boys faces. There's a song. Yeah, you do.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no. Little boy to come.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a difference. It's a different. You're right. That's not as bad. Little boy to come in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not a fat Jacob.

[Jacob]

Wow, I sure do.

[Bobby Kelly]

He really hit that note too.

[Jacob]

No, Jacob, it's a terrible haircut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just for the next time, Jacob. I just know how the song goes. It goes D. Padam, you

[Bobby Kelly]

bum bum bum bum bum.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You bump bum bum bum bum. You first one.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love this haircut's sexy as hell.

[Christine]

Very in style and it's very ugly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love it. It's really awful trend. Reminds me of the 80s. Reminds me of girls in the 80s.

[Christine]

Is that guys in the 80s?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, girls in the 80s, jerk.

[Christine]

You mean the dudes.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I said girls. I'm not going to say it again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What? You meant guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, some of the guys. Bon Jovi. Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you like a chick who looks like Billy Squire.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like a chick who dances like Billy Squire.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was that niece in the first episode of Task. Bobby didn't even watch one episode.

[Bobby Kelly]

I watched one episode and it was fucking Mark. Rufio, whatever his name is.

[DJ Lou]

Ruffalo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ruffalo, whatever. And he was fat and tired and depressed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why is his weight weighing on you so much in watching this?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I know him from Hulk. The Hulk. I know him from other movies. And now it's like he's this depressed, sad fucking oof. In the whole first episode, right? Yeah. And the other guy with his family, they were all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, what other guy?

[Bobby Kelly]

The. The other guy that is. It's the trash guy that's going criminal. And I'll give you this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His family. His niece has the wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

His. His niece?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Not have the major character.

[Bobby Kelly]

She does not have the wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not a wolf cut. That's a dike cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, can I say that? It's the haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a lesbian.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The same shitty haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is not a wolf cut. That is. That is a redneck dude. That's a redneck cut. It's over the ears, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The wolf cut, buddy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wolf's Don't.

[Christine]

No, it's like it's this wolf cut right here.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not a wolf cut.

[Christine]

Why is it under latest wolf cut idea?

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, I don't know why I'm being attacked by everyone.

[Christine]

Because you think that's sexy.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is sexy. I can't have my own opinion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can do first of all, buddy, hang on a different place now. You can love who you love.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like this wolf cut. I like a wolf cut. And I don't like boys unless they

[Big Jay Oakerson]

have a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not what I'm saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got my glasses back on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've always liked men.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, there it is. That's evidence.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sounds like to me that's. AI man. That's 100. AI.

[DJ Lou]

I said it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nobody looks pretty. Girls but with ugly hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love. You don't like the blonde right there in the middle, that haircut? I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like she's in a fucking rat video.

[Christine]

No, I mean, what is this? Looks like a wig.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like that one. That's not the. All wolf cuts do curly wolf cut. I like a curly wolf.

[Christine]

Yes. These weird things that come around the cheek.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I don't know who made this popular, but a lot of the celebs like Lady Gaga had her hair like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So you're not gay. You want to fuck a wolf?

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe that's it. Oh, is that better?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should say that. You should.

[Bobby Kelly]

That one down the bottom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have sex. You just say you should ask her to wolf out.

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh.

[Jacob]

I feel it is an era of women doing a lot of things to purposely be unattractive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, they don't get raped anymore. They're done with it.

[Jacob]

Maybe.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, maybe I really stumped him with that one. Maybe he really froze. Can you go to.

[Christine]

Why would a girl try to make herself ugly?

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine, can you go to curly wolf cut, please, without an attitude?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thank you, Bobby. There's so many of. These are curly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those aren't crows. Those are straight wolf cuts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not one of these girls has straight hair. What? Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not that. Don't. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Ew.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Jacob]

You don't like that, Bobby. No, you're lying.

[DJ Lou]

What are we seeing?

[Bobby Kelly]

I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I look at a girl with unwashed hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not unwashed. It's a wolf cut. And it takes a long time and it's a. Look at that. I love it. Love it. I do. Look at that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By the way. You said that in the gayest way. You could have said that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did not say it in a gay way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did you went. I love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't say that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isolate that tomorrow. No, no, thank you.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I like it.

[Jacob]

How would you describe this hairstyle, though?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna describe it right now. I don't understand how to describe looks. So it's coming down almost like wolf hair. Like, it's. It's. Bobby. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Describe it without saying wolf anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like. All right. What it is, is it's. Now the curly one is the one I like. It's wild. It's untamed. It's like she got out of a. Like a. A pond or a river and just.

[Christine]

It's just left of a mullet. It's right haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's. I like a long wolf cut. I'll get specific with you. I like a long, curly wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby wants to fuck Uncle Laser.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like that. That's nice right there. I like nice curly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You like that? She's wearing a wig and she has cancer. Cancer girl who hasn't gotten an expensive wig yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Scroll down, scroll down. Look at that. I love. Look at that. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like a nice wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, did dawn do a dramatic haircut over the weekend? You're trying to convince yourself you love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dawn did not do anything dramatic over the weekend. The year. The past six years, she has not done anything dramatic. The only thing she did dramatic is get her fake boobs taken out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's pretty dramatic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Saw her naked for the first time yesterday in a little while. She looks really cute. And her new old boobies, I like them. Look good. She looks good. I hate that. These sweaters are. I forgot to bring the sweaters in. Fuck.

[Christine]

Fuck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're supposed to wear those shits soon.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know, but we would have been too cool with the glasses. I'll bring them in tomorrow. It may have been too cool, too. I'll bring them in. I almost wore it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This haircut is like. I mean, first of all, it's a million percent dependent on the face that it's wrapped around. And I'll tell you, on most faces, every one of these girls, that girl right there looks noticeably worse with the fucking hair you want her to have.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the hair.

[Christine]

Like the girl on Stranger things. It's very 80s.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. And I. When was my peak bang time?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The 90s and 2000s?

[Bobby Kelly]

80s. 90s.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, on record.

[Bobby Kelly]

On record. 80s, 90s. And that right there. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's a. It brings me back to when those

[Big Jay Oakerson]

trash sluts you'd Yep, those garbage RV dwellers.

[Jacob]

But that's a good reference. That might brought up that. That anorexic chick on Stranger Things that. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's. Who is really, really ugly because of her haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. She does not have a wolf cut. She has curly hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She got a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not a wolf cut. 100% not a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, you're not the expert on wolf cuts because you like one girl having it.

[Bobby Kelly]

First of all, I watched the whole thing on what a wolf. What it takes to get a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I like wolf cuts.

[Christine]

Ooh.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, that girl right there is far more attractive on the left with her regular flat hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's just regular fucking now hair that's flat on the top and cur.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you're right. Yeah. This girl looks great. Nice wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a wolf cut. That's a goof cut.

[Christine]

I hope they start getting perms too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, what else are you gonna get into? What else are you gonna get into? What other weird haircut you gonna get into?

[Jacob]

Bobs.

[Bobby Kelly]

I wouldn't mind a perm. I don't mind you. You hate a perm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't. Yeah, probably. Are you scratching your balls?

[Bobby Kelly]

I did scratch my balls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was good. Through the pocket.

[Bobby Kelly]

I threw through the pocket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

A little scratchy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's classy. Now how shake up his face. It's not gay. Her hair falls through the pocket.

[Bobby Kelly]

Her hair is not a wolf cut because it's flat on top and curly on the sides.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who?

[Bobby Kelly]

A wolf cut is wild all over.

[Jacob]

That's a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not a wolf cut.

[Jacob]

The picture she has up with that,

[Christine]

why they're popular is because of this show, probably.

[Jacob]

That's not a wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You got wrapped up in a teen fad from Stranger Things Is not a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

I deny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she got a wolf cut by the end there.

[Jacob]

Maybe wolf cut, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe last year. Well, that one's. I mean, that's a wolf. Look at that. That's a wolf cut. That's 100% a wolf cut. And that's the last season. Nancy Wheeler and yeah, I think a

[Big Jay Oakerson]

girl looks like she's wearing a fucking Russian winter hat. Side flaps. Why don't you tie her hair under her chin?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just a wild cut. It's everywhere. It goes anywhere and everywhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's real ugly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna start drawing wolf cuffs with charcoal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The girl in task is almost pulling off. Like you could probably make it sexy. If you had, like, a whole look going with it.

[Bobby Kelly]

What, the niece? Yeah, the sister. Whatever she is. She does not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

That. That's a. That's. That looks like a wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's your wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

Looks like a gay wolf. Looks like a German wolf. That's not a wolf.

[Christine]

I'm trying to find some old, like, 1980s.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right there in the middle. Yeah. Oh, I love it. Yeah.

[Christine]

That's why you like it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I remember my. My. My. One of my first girlfriends, Denise. Denise C. Had a. Had a crazy wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Sebastian Bach. Dude, he's got a wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a wolf cut. That's a fucking.

[Christine]

It's a teased wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a. There's no such thing as a teased wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, there is.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're making.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what Pristine's an expert on.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Teased wolf. You're not. First of all, you're not an expert on Teen wolf. Teased wolf, teased wolf. And you.

[Christine]

You think I don't know how to tease?

[Bobby Kelly]

You have regular American Indian hair. You have Armenian.

[Christine]

I'm not native.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I check your me 24, 5 and me, whatever the fuck it is. I think you have American. You have the cheekbones, you have the nose, and you have the attitude of an American Indian. American Indian. Yeah.

[Christine]

Of a native.

[Bobby Kelly]

23 and me, 23andme. And you love looking through this. Jay was staring me down through sunglasses.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just gonna fact check you. Dude, that's a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine is an expert.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a werewolf cut. Christine, That's a werewolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christina's an expert on the teased wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's not an expert on any of these haircuts. I've never seen her with anything but her hair that she has now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She had bangs at one point. Well, I mean, she's got extreme bangs.

[Christine]

I had. Yeah, the. Yeah, I had a real extreme haircut for a while.

[Bobby Kelly]

None of these are wolf cuts. Get them off the screen.

[Christine]

I don't want to see them. They're all wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a wolf cut. That's.

[Christine]

Then why is it called trendy wolf cut hairstyle?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that one might be, but just happened to pick. The other ones weren't over to the left.

[Christine]

How to style a wolf cut. 80s wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ooh, I would have got a wolf cut if I. If I let my hair grow. I would have got a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you wear a wolf cut wig on the show?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not a wolf cut. Even though that does look very wolfy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That just looks like really nice hair.

[Christine]

That's just like feathered hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's feathered. The feathered. That's a feather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I think the wolf cut idea is that it goes different directions.

[Bobby Kelly]

It goes crazy like a wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think very specifically, it goes, like, back. They make pieces go back and then piece go forward. Yeah, back and forth. But it's ugly most of the time. Almost 100% of the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I beg to disagree. And I'll beg.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could beg to differ.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can beg to disagree or you

[Big Jay Oakerson]

can agree to disagree.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can beg. No, dude. First of all, I like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to beg me to disagree. I'm just disagree.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm begging you to disagree.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to beg me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could just disagree.

[Bobby Kelly]

Please.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't want this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't need. Please. You don't need my permission.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay, Let me disagree.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll allow it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, look, you get an 80s wolf,

[Christine]

it's a really easy haircut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really? It's not a haircut. It's not an easy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is easy. Anyone can do it. Because it's a bad haircut. It's what normally people go, oh, my God, I fucked up. But you won't.

[Bobby Kelly]

It takes skill to get a wolf cut. You cannot just do a wolf cut

[Big Jay Oakerson]

or just the bite of the lichen itself.

[Christine]

DJ Loafer was a little wolfie with. With bangs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Your hair's.

[Christine]

It was when I had it with

[Jacob]

all this wolf talk. Could you play Michael Jackson transforming over these wolf cuts?

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that wolf cut. That's a sexy wolf cut. You didn't think that was hot?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Come on. What kind of haircut do you like? What's your favorite haircut?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Long hair?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, what's your favorite haircut? If you had a pick one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Long hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is that somebody getting a wolf cut?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

When they realize what a wolf cut is, they're turning. All right, we're done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They just realized. They just realized. They a boy and only Bobby's interested in them now.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My soul.

[Bobby Kelly]

You said get a wolf cut. This is a wolf cut. Listen,

[Big Jay Oakerson]

first things first. You have to get bit by the werewolf. He goes, do not bring an amulet or anything. That will reverse it. You know, it's an ugly haircut. But again, if you have a smoking hot chick rocking it, who's gonna care? But I mean, like, it depends on the haircut. Can't make the girl. This haircut will never make an Unattractive girl attract. No fucking way.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, what haircuts makes an unattractive girl attractive? Long hair when you can cover that face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, just. You could shape your face with the hair a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't think that shapes a face?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It does. Makes it one shape. Fucking. If you have chubby cheeks, it's the worst.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, look, a fat girl can't get a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's gonna look like a fucking cheeks.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's gonna look like one of those Swedish cows. Can you bring up fat chicks with wolf cut? I want to see what it looks like.

[Jacob]

Did Michael Jackson have, like. Now I'm thinking I have like an afro wolf cut for a man. Is that possible? Because he had it.

[Bobby Kelly]

He had Jerry curls and it framed his face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I would say he just had long, like, frizzy.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He had so much chemicals in his hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Janet might have had a wolf cut for a minute. A wolf wig.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Janet Jackson in Pleasure Principle had wolf wig. Is a little bit of a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it a wolf cut or wolf wig? Is that her hair?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know. I don't get no black woman's business like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Should I?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But Pledge Principle is a little bit of a wolf cut. For sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

A little bit of a wolf cut. Yeah. I love that hair. That's a definite. Oh, I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is her. That's a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But she's Janet Jackson.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, but I'm saying. You're saying that. You're saying that I like ugly girls with wolf cuts. I'm telling you, I like a pretty girl with a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm telling you, this is far from the sexiest Janet Jackson's ever looked with her hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're crazy. Far from crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think this is the sexiest Janet Jackson we got.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Are you out of your mind?

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the sexiest Janet Jackson?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's the way love goes. Where was this guy I love?

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to listen to this in rehab.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I thought you always said that this was your favorite Janet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is mine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, thank you.

[Christine]

Always. Because I always. Because I didn't really know her, I went back on this.

[Bobby Kelly]

I feel like if you. Christine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't have to thank Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm going to thank Christine one more time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just. Christine just said something wrong. I said, this is my favorite Janet. This is the cutesy thing that I thought when I got into Janet Jackson. It's not the sexiest Janet Jackson's ever looked by far.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is my favorite Janet Jackson, too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But you said it's the sexiest she's ever been.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not though.

[Bobby Kelly]

But to me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Change that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm not going to change that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was like, if that's the way

[Bobby Kelly]

love goes, I hate when you go, it's not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This was her sexiest. One million percent of the people will say this.

[Jacob]

You think she's way more out of here, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hang on, let me just see her. Come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You forget J. Lo's in the video.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you go back to that a little bit? Was there just a wig on a stand in the background?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably. But if you think Janet Jackson isn't look. Leaps and bounds hotter here. By all measurements, there's a wolf cut

[Bobby Kelly]

hanging on a chair in the background. I swear to God, dude, her. Her hair from the last video was in the. Right there. That's fucking crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I've never noticed that because JLo's there.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think she's pretty in this, but she's too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is she too, Bobby Hot?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, she's too golden.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Perfect skin. She just found the right exact thing before they made themselves look freaky. This is technically hotter than Pleasure Principle.

[Christine]

This was the hottest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know why? She has long hair. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And if you undid it, it would be a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it'd just be long hair. There'd just be long blonde hair. Now here's the thing. That's all a wig.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. That comes off.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's like a baseball hat, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll tell you that. Here's the best way to put it. You take a bald black woman. I know. Cause I watch the baddies. They're all bald. They're all cornrows down there. When those wigs come off, every one of them looks severely less attractive than when that fucking wig is on. And the wig is always long hair, never a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know how expensive a wolf cut wig is?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not more expensive than these things.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's probably the most expensive wig. A wolf cut wig, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How would you know that? You're in the wig biz.

[Bobby Kelly]

I looked it up. I was thinking of getting a wolf. Cute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Crazy weekend.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was trying to get a wolf cut wig.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We can get you one. I know we can get you one.

[Bobby Kelly]

You get me a wolf cut wig, I'll wear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Janet Jackson. My personal opinion, this Pleasure Principle. That's what I like.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's not what you said.

[Bobby Kelly]

I said that's my favorite Janet Jackson.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you took that from me when I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I said it first. Didn't I say it first?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You said, this is the sexiest genocide.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is the sexiest. And then I said to me, I was in rehab, and this is when I fell in love with her.

[DJ Lou]

I fell in love with her, too. Black cat. That's when I lost my virginity.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To a black cat?

[DJ Lou]

No, video. Black cat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Somebody called her some black cat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, black cat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Some black guy came over and me. Yeah, she was super sexy in this dumb video. What is this one?

[Bobby Kelly]

She's sexy because she's wearing that same thing that Bon Jovi wore around his neck, that American Indian neck thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she's sexy because she's in crazy shape and her tits and ass and face.

[Jacob]

Wait, Lou, you. You lost your virginity to this song?

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, to Black Cat. Black Cat.

[DJ Lou]

Well, I discovered masturbation.

[Jacob]

Oh, I see.

[Bobby Kelly]

So cute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait, did you call losing your virginity masturbation? Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do you think that's what it is? Well, no, but you've lost it since, right?

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, I've lost it.

[Bobby Kelly]

So you're saying the first time you masturbated was to a song?

[DJ Lou]

Yeah, I used to juggle MTV all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. And then you told your friends you lost your virginity?

[DJ Lou]

No, I said it. I misspoke. But, yeah, that's when I discovered jizz.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

What? It tasted like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was pretty. Her body looked good. Here. Didn't love her hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

When you first jizzed, what did you do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her silhouette looks like Michael Jackson.

[DJ Lou]

I went, wait.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, nice. Yeah. This video is too much of her with, like, shoulder pad. She looks like Arsenio Hall. Half of this video.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[DJ Lou]

I couldn't control it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I got you. Because here's the thing. Right there is what you saw.

[DJ Lou]

And I think she whips her shirt off towards the end.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black bra.

[DJ Lou]

Yes. And that's what really got me going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had the black bra. I do remember that. And that is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, she was a huge star, huh?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Still is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not so much anymore, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If she tours, she still has to do MSG and like that. Yeah.

[Christine]

You think she just did it, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she did it, like, two years ago.

[Bobby Kelly]

How's she looking? She looking all right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think she looks all right.

[Christine]

I mean, Joshua said it was great. And I know he says that about

[Bobby Kelly]

every concert, but every single.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When he came back and told me Sandwich, when he told me Kurt and whatever the his name is from Tears for Fears, it never sounded better. It might be the top five shows ever. Josh, how can I take anything you say seriously? You told Me. Tears for Fears. You knew three songs like everybody else there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everything he does is the best ever. The best co. This is the best coffee I've ever had.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I like this song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A little pointed down belt. The pointed down belt buckle.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Have you ever done it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God, yeah. Underneath. Loop it up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Down through back with the met.

[Bobby Kelly]

The. The belt buckle with the big metal buckle and then the metal tip.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yep. The little arrow thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Metal tips, the whole thing. Yeah, I did that too. I love it. I think that's a wolf cut, by the way. So your first masturbation, your first jizz Lou was a wolf cut.

[DJ Lou]

I was wolfing out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He wasn't looking at her cut, dude. He was looking at her fucking round dumper. And then her titties when she rips off her shirt.

[Bobby Kelly]

She didn't mash herself into a pair of jeans. Didn't she?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stomach flat, stomach big booty now.

[DJ Lou]

Is that a wig?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, everything.

[DJ Lou]

Cannot tell when there is a wig ever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, that's the point.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Probably weave more than wig.

[Christine]

I don't see her ripping her off anywhere. Maybe just when it opened up and you saw the black.

[DJ Lou]

Maybe it was Michael Jackson.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Michael Jackson does rip his shirt off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe he jerked off for the first time to Michael Jackson.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Might just be a one shot screen thing too. They show her doing it for a second, but I could have sworn she did too.

[DJ Lou]

No, I guess she doesn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think right at the end.

[DJ Lou]

No, I don't think she does now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe I'm thinking of Dirty Diana.

[Bobby Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Nope.

[DJ Lou]

Uneventful. Fuck.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, hey man, whatever. Whatever. Fucking get your load out.

[Christine]

I did find us some wigs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, some wolf cuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like that. I'll tell you which one I like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, all the way on the left. No, by the way, because that girl's really pretty. So you'll just go, sure, Wolf cut. Until you change that to something else.

[Bobby Kelly]

That one in the middle there. I like that. You like this. No, I don't like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You do like. I don't crud.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like that. That's some theater bitch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's like a stage fucking you like a. She looks like she carries a back pocket. Wallet.

[Bobby Kelly]

Scroll up. At least she carries a wallet, not just a chain.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I carry a wallet.

[Bobby Kelly]

But not in your back pocket.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it's bad for your nerves and your.

[Bobby Kelly]

Scroll down in the middle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Spinal alignment.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm just lashing out now. Jack. Scroll up.

[Jacob]

Up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right in the middle. Stop right there. Over to the left. Right there. That's nice.

[DJ Lou]

What are you seeing?

[Bobby Kelly]

I like that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm going to another stupid wolf hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's not a wolf. It's a. It's shoulder length wolf cut. It's all over the place.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It says I just got out of an abusive relationship.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's like I just got out of a pool and I didn't blow dry my hair and I'm on vacation. I'm just flipped it dry. It's so done. I had sex. That's how I dried my hair. Yeah, with the wind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You want stupid slut hair?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I like stupid slut hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just come and sun.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, come sun. That's what I like.

[Christine]

Do you see this tick tock handle here? No wolf cut for Chubby's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, God. There you go, is that what I have to jump on if I get this way?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There you go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bobby, I need to watch videos. She has fluffy chin.

[Jacob]

What a gaggle of pigs.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Christine, could I please see a fat person getting a wolf cut, please? Getting one or having one and talking about how they're psyched about it?

[Bobby Kelly]

Wolf cut. Now this is a chubby girl where Christine's from. And you can tell she's chubby because she's wearing a tarp around her body. Oh, God, this poor girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Be a big wolf. Yeah, you gotta be careful being that fat with a wolf cut. Dude, you might get be hunting season if you're headed a wolf. Get the downtown la.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, come on, get to the end of this. Yeah, I want to see the final part. I don't want to see the.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is boring as. Oh God, it's a guy. Oh, there you go.

[Bobby Kelly]

She didn't give her wolf cut. She gave. Now that's like an Eskimo cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like a wolf. Looks like Jack Nicholson's wolf. It looks like wolf. Jack Nicholson turned into wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not very wolfy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dude, they're not done yet.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no good. Oh, look at. You can't now you're a fat. You went from being a fat girl to a fat gay guy. Congratulations, lady. Oh, my Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, Bobby, I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You saw one girl you liked with it?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I've seen a couple. I like it. I follow. I follow wolf cut.

[Christine]

Well, how did you find out it was called a wolf cut?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I watched a bunch of. There it is, right in the middle of the girl right there. Right walking. Oh, look at that. That's a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby, that's a lot lizard.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is not a.

[Christine]

So what's just a plus sized baddie obsessed with her new wolf cut?

[Bobby Kelly]

That is a wolf cut right there. It's curly, it goes everywhere. It's shoulder length, a little long. It's long. Oh my God. Goes down in front of her face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Armpit cleavage.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Gnarly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love that wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she has to pull her hair out from her armpit. Oh, God, she's a pig.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, she's not a pig.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Thanks, Jacob.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do you know she's a pig? She's wearing leopard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's a pig.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a. A sure a telltale sign of being a pig if you have leopard.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not necessarily, but leopard plus tell my mom. Plus taking a video shooting up like this with your stupid sunglasses on and definitely not showing your big fat Body is a pig.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, look at those jujubes. Look at her. She's cute. I like that. I like that hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She thinks. She thinks her farts are funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's funny because I've always drawn when I used to draw all the time and sketch. I always used to sketch fat women. No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I thought you like that. Like that Spanish artist. Who's that who just makes all the big fat people everyone's fat? You never seen that bolero?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no, I haven't seen bolero. I used to always sketch and I. And I'm just realizing this a girl like half her face, but the other half was a wolf cut, I guess.

[DJ Lou]

Botero.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Botero?

[Bobby Kelly]

You mean all the guys that look like me? They have that at the Cellar as you're walking up to the studio. They have a botero. Whatever it is. And it's just. It just looks like a bunch of mes over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My ex wife's mom used to have

[Bobby Kelly]

my ex wife me party.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My ex wife mom had pictures of these big fat round people with circle mouths. Little teeny circle mouths.

[Bobby Kelly]

That guy does look like you. Scroll up right to the right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You know, he never drew that looks like you. It does look me.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's 100% you right now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Could be me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at the sides, the side of his head.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That could be an interpretive picture of me for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

He has lines on the side he's painting because, you know, you're an artist at heart.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If he threw the beard going like just up the like neck to the ears, it's like.

[Christine]

I think that's a self portrait.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I look like Botero. Classic me. Oh, look at that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is he wearing gloves?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is when I was on.

[Bobby Kelly]

This is me on a swing.

[Jacob]

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And you should dress like two little fat English schoolboys one day. Does me and Bobby dress like Angus Young for no reason?

[Bobby Kelly]

One of those things the German people wear, the lederhosen. Yeah, we can see lederhosen. Some socks that go up to our knees.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I really like us dressed like Angus Young. And little short, little velvet shorts and our little caps.

[Bobby Kelly]

We should have dress up day. I like the day when we did cowboy day. And we all dress me walking from the garage here in a. With a cowboy hat and full cowboy. It felt the looks you'd get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Even the bad ones, the confused ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, that's not a real cowboy and you gotta go. You give him a little finger guns.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just tip my hat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Howdy, howdy, howdy.

[Christine]

These are all his self portraits.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he drew round people.

[Bobby Kelly]

You look exactly like him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's what you like. You like wolf cuts on that fucking body?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I like wolf cuts on pretty girls with long, curly hair. I don't like a straight wolf cut as much as I like a curly long.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So now we've gotten to heavy specifics.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, because I have to. I didn't think that you were gonna. I was gonna be attacked for the wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I feel like you didn't know before this moment that there's 75 different wolf cuts. Oh, look. Look who's got a wolf cut. Steven Piercey from Rat.

[Bobby Kelly]

He doesn't have a wolf.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Round and round. Yeah, he does.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's just curly hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Get it right.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he puts all his over to the side. A wolf cut has to come down like a wolf on both sides.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Even guys got a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's definitely a wolf.

[Bobby Kelly]

It has to. That's not a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Total wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, the bass player might have a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Steven Piercey, inventor of the wolf cut that Bobby loves so much.

[Christine]

This is crazy how Drew Barrymore, the child, is dressed.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, she slotted up to hang out with Steven Pierce.

[Christine]

So weird. It's like a really low cut. She has a tired with sheer lace

[Bobby Kelly]

over it, but she doesn't think I'm

[Big Jay Oakerson]

seeing a nip slip.

[Christine]

She's like eight.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. She doesn't even have. She has, like, those volcano titties before you hit puberty. You know what I mean? With a nipple is the title. The rest of the boob.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What the. That's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I'm saying, though, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think so.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, you do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why is Drew Barrymore hanging out with a rat? She's like 12 years old.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's got some stories. She did some. She did some. She did some.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That's why now she's. She's so, like, overly wholesome and an emotional wreck at all times now. Yeah, Anything you can make her cry in a heartbeat.

[Bobby Kelly]

She cries. She sees a wolf cut, she cries. I love.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd love to go on and make Drew Barrymore cry. Just make something up and then be like, no, it didn't happen.

[Christine]

She was 10 in this photo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

She went to rehab at 11, so she's like you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, boy. Oh, she's like me. Then she's got some problems.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You guys both now enjoy a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

She. She liked it before I did, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I bet you guys both now like that show the Madison, so you can cry together to each other.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, that show. Let me tell you something. This weekend we went to Broadway, went to a play. Dawn, Max in school, is reading the Outsiders. That's the book he's reading. So dawn, instead of watching the movie, she said, I got tickets to the Broadway show the Outsiders. And I said, it's a dialogue thing, right? It's not a sing songy thing. She goes, no, I think it's dialogue. I was like, okay, let's go. That sounds great. So we went. She got second row. And I was like, these are great seats.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Just so you know, it says real big on the billboard. Outsiders, the musical.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't see it, didn't know about it. I'm just going. And I said, hey, this is a dialogue type thing, like Bronx Tale, you know? Yeah. She says, I think so. So we sit down, great seats, second row on the outside, so we could go pee. And then it opens up, just Ponyboy sitting on a tire with a spotlight on him. And he's the fr. And I was like. I just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was being in a game sure is tough.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're a couple of rough and tumble guys, but we got a song in our heart. Dally's coming home from work.

[Bobby Kelly]

I looked right in her face and I was like, you mother. She goes, oops. And then. And then I'm reading on the pamphlet, it says, may get wet.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why don't you read on the ticket where it says outsiders, the musical?

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't have to. On her phone. I thought it was going to be like a dialogue cool thing. And then I'm sitting there and I'm like, I know they're going to make this a diverse because the Outsiders is. It's a white movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It has to be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it wasn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Of course not.

[Bobby Kelly]

It wasn't. I want you to guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Who did, by the way? I don't know if the problems would be the Greasers versus Socials if there was black guys involved. Also. You want to see the Greasers and the Socials team up? Hey, did you see he just moved in the neighborhood. What? All right, guys, we gotta bury our here for a second. Researchers, we're gonna need you on the front lines, and we're gonna try to figure out how to run these out back here with our rich parents.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're gonna use our Corvettes to run them over if they get past you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then you guys bring the chains, the baseball bats. Guys, everybody in Socias and. And Social and Greasers together, I want

[Bobby Kelly]

you to Guess which one of the outsiders was the Soda pop? Diverse hire. You say Soda Pop? Christine, who do you guess?

[Christine]

I don't know.

[Announcer]

Outsiders at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Christine]

I was just going to ask if this is this, like, west side Story. Like, it's just.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's white west side Story. Yeah, it's. It's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, no, it's not west side Story, the movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

It wasn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is now.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is now with the songs. Jacob, who do you pick?

[Jacob]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Who do you think was the. The diverse hire on the Greasers?

[Jacob]

Pony boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, you say Soda Pop. Who do you say? Lou.

[DJ Lou]

I say Ponyboy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dally.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dally was a big, almost chubby black dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really? He gets shot, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not in this one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, they can't do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can't do it. Can't do it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then cast a black guy, and now you can't have him be shot by the cops because that's how Valley goes down.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And. And.

[Bobby Kelly]

And they had just a random black girl on the Greasers, too, hanging out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And it was. It was supposed to be the 67, by the way, which would have never happened.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, totally.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, never. But they had a random black girl.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think they were always thirsty, those two, because they always had to go to white water fountain places. I'm like, sorry, guys. I'll try to see if I can get you a cup.

[Jacob]

Every show, every movie is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's.

[Jacob]

It's insane that this is. This goes on. Yeah, go ahead.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry, Dally. When he came out, I'm like, not Dally. Because they were coming out. I was like, not Dally, please, not that. Because I knew it was coming. Not down. Sure enough. I think he was either.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What it is, y'? All? Yeah, I'm Dally.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hanging out with my white friends, shooting the. Being Greases and what have you.

[Bobby Kelly]

But the song Socials, not one. All the same white dude over and over again.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

They. They didn't take it too far.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No DEI hires over there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Not on the Socials, but on the. On the Greases.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Greasers take what they can get.

[Bobby Kelly]

They had a black Dally and just some random black chick that was dancing around.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Her name was also Black Dally. Black Dally and Black Dally.

[Bobby Kelly]

So.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

So now. So I'm like, all right, all right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Johnny. They shot Johnny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Man. That was more. It was more. More jazzy. It was more. He. You know, they. They funked it up a little bit more. That wasn't the one I saw. The one

[Big Jay Oakerson]

that's not the original cast. You got the dates. You got the day players. You saw matinee, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Saw matinee.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You get the day players.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then in the thing it says may get wet. So on. So there's a rain scene.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Black people sweat.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. But no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're in the splash zone.

[Bobby Kelly]

So. So. So the fight scene is in the rain, right? But the whole floor is little. Little pieces of tire. Little, small pieces of tire. So when the rain comes down, it goes through the floor and into whatever it catches, right? And none of them really get wet, I guess. But they're dancing. They're doing all these. And you can't. You can't help but.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God, they start to love it.

[Bobby Kelly]

They start kicking.

[Jacob]

Hang on.

[Bobby Kelly]

They start kicking. They're kicking. So you're getting kicked in the face with rubber tire pieces and. And water. I mean, dude, I'm second row, right in your face. I think I kept.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like Gallagher.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was all over my face. It went in my eye at one point. Thank God I was wearing glasses. The guy in front of me had, like, a big Jew fro. It was all in his fro. He kept having to shake his hair out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We call that a wolf cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

And. And. And then. And then I wound up.

[Jacob]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did I cry?

[Jacob]

No, you didn't. Like this.

[Bobby Kelly]

How many times do you think I cried?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Twice?

[Bobby Kelly]

Bingo. Dude. I.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What are you saying? What are you saying? Stay golden pony.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was one of them. That was one of them.

[Jacob]

Max hated this, buddy. Hated it. I'm already calling.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should hate it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I tell you what. Max loved it, but didn't cry. At one point, I was like, do you not cry at things? He goes, why? I go, do you. I go, do you feel sad? He goes, I do. I just keep it inside. I swear to God. He goes, I just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Unraveling in front of your boy.

[Bobby Kelly]

He goes, I just keep it inside, dad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But he's not supposed to see you cry.

[Bobby Kelly]

I teared up twice during the golden. When Johnny got killed, and he sang the whatever, golden song. And then there was another one with Dally. I mean, the guy who played Dally won me over. He was great. And he sang. He didn't. He didn't mention it. But no one mentioned it, by the way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No one ever would have come up.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, it might have came up like, yeah, mind if I stay over for dinner?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm gonna go buy some condoms. And then that different kind for Dally.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do you think he Got killed at the end. It wasn't a gun. They couldn't shoot him. He couldn't do suicide by cop.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They did kill him.

[Bobby Kelly]

They killed him. But how do you think he got killed?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me guess. Sickle cell. It was a long play.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was a real. That was a real spit take, heart attack. That was a real. No, right in the middle of the. Right in the middle of the fight, he just grabs his chest.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Type 2 diabetes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm. I'm coming, wheezy. I'm coming. Elizabeth. Is it Elizabeth?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Elizabeth, I'm coming.

[Bobby Kelly]

So, nope, not a heart attack.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, let me keep thinking. Yeah, the black girl shot him.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I'll keep thinking.

[Bobby Kelly]

The black girl was hilarious, though, because

[Big Jay Oakerson]

it's like he drowned in a fishing pond.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. All right, I got a few more. I got a few more. I think. Oh, maybe one of the socias or greasers found out that he was interested in one of their sisters. Well, let me guess. A soch father found out that he was at their house for a party. Okay, all right. Okay, all right. Not cops. You keep saying not cops.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want to make sure I get that now. It wasn't cops, and it wasn't the greasers finding out anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Tide pod challenge.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got me twice. No, it wasn't. Tide podcast.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he did add this to the songs. All the other songs were very theatrical, you know, and the Sun Comes up, but he added it. He added a little funk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My name is Dallian. I'm here to say I'm playing a white character in a major way. I got a big dick. I got different hair. Y' all in the audience don't care.

[Bobby Kelly]

I stepped in with another wife. I. His wife.

[Jacob]

All right, I can't think. How does it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I want to keep guessing.

[Christine]

All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Come on. Now playing water park.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Water park. Mishap.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, Jacob.

[Jacob]

I. Yeah, I was gonna say drowning, because Poppy was there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, I got it. Yeah, he jumped on a trampoline. There was velcro above him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His hair hit the velcro, ripped his head off of his shoulders.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, not a Velcro. Trampoline accident.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fell downstairs stealing sneakers.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he didn't steal sneakers. Come on. You're right there. You're right there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, aids.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's rent.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, that's right.

[Bobby Kelly]

Very similar.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I was wondering how much they gave this thing up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let me tell you something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, they didn't gate up enough to have AIDS take out the only black character.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, they didn't Have AIDS back then. That's back when you can just come.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

He just dump loads.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And remember that Satan started making guys fuck each other's butts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, the good old days. You just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Satan got involved.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, but you're close. You're close.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay, okay, let me think.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're close. End of the movie. Oh, Johnny's dead.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They do the thing where he leaned over Johnny.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And sucked his death into his mouth and then went outside and gave it back. But eventually too much of doing that wore on his own body. And then he died.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought maybe it was John Coffee style. Like the drink, but not spelled it.

[Bobby Kelly]

How do you do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, so he wasn't green mileing people.

[Bobby Kelly]

He wasn't green mile.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got something. I got something. Hung himself in a prison cell.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, didn't get.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, it wasn't. He wasn't in prison.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was running from the prison.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's already beating the odds. The guy's already beating the odds. He's ahead of the game.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, but he had been in prison. He was in prison and he was running from the cops. The cops were looking for him and Johnny. It's just like. Everything is just like the movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Pretty much falls off a roof.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, does not fall off the roof. But he did help save the kids in the burning church first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Which was great. What a great scene. The fight scene they did was really good.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fire. There's terrible fire. We gotta get into the fire. What about the fire department?

[Announcer]

They're too far away.

[Bobby Kelly]

The little kids are gonna die. They're gonna die today. Johnny, Ponyboy and Dali, too.

[Jacob]

Musical stink.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did they have Johnny come out on fire?

[Bobby Kelly]

They did this really cool thing where they. They held up a sheet. So the whole cast was moving all the props to make things. You know what I mean? So they made a train with, like, tires. The whole cast would come out, roll out tires with boards, and they'd put them on it and they'd roll them back. It was really. It was a good play. It was really well produced play. Like, there was no part where I was like, this stinks. Except the ending. The ending. How Hadali died sucked.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know, Bobby, I think if you go to two more musicals and like them, you're gonna be allowed to say that word you love so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Whoa.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think if you see three Broadway musicals in one calendar year and one wolf cut, I think you're allowed to say it.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I get one wolf cut, I

[Big Jay Oakerson]

think that would be okay. I think we run up the ladder.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can you check with Jim. I want it curly. Christine, stop giving me a straight wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You think Christine did that? You think Christine photoshopped that quick?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's true. I don't know how to do anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know how to do anything like that. I couldn't. Even if Christine had to do that, I'd be like, where's this been forever? You just put silly haircuts on.

[Bobby Kelly]

I look. First of all, I look exactly like my mother in that. That photo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your mom has a mix of wolf. Cuz that's why you have an Oedipus complex.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, my wife. My mom's never got a wolf cut. I wish. Wish Don would get a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you don't mean that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would love a wolf cut on her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Love a wolf cut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When she goes to school without you, people are going to ask, where's your other mom?

[Bobby Kelly]

As I want you to figure out how he died. One more guess.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll take the break. Let's take the break so I can think about it.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, we'll take the break. We should have people call in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It wasn't diabetes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Close.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Went blind slowly. His heart. So pancreatic cancer.

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did I say sickle cell?

[Bobby Kelly]

You said sickle cell. That was one of the first ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was set up by Suge Knight.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Drive by.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, they didn't have drive bys back then. They used knives.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Home invasion gone wrong.

[Bobby Kelly]

They used knives back then. And they fought. Fisty cuffs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, he was beaten to death with a. With a car antenna.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. No.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was a pretty good guess.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. All right.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where is he? Bobby One singular sensation. You can see Bobby doing his stage sticks.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did love the play over the count.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You really did.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did. Dude, it got me. It got me more musicals. I would. Christine, I'd love to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, nice. You just found your newest gay friend. Christine.

[Bobby Kelly]

You want to come? Do you want to come next time?

[Christine]

Yeah, I do.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, you're in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bobby Kelly's gonna be at Mohegan sun performing in the comedy club April 17th and 18th. What the hell else you gonna do after that? He's gonna be at Uncle Vin Nese. Oh, that's Nest. Sold Right. In New Jersey and Cleveland after Stamford and New Orleans, if you want to get some ticks who punch up. Oh, wrong part of the song. Punch up live. Robert Kelly. Check out Bobby's new YouTube at Robert Kelly comedy. And every Tuesday night, fat black pussycat cat.

[Bobby Kelly]

Big Jokerson's gonna be at the funny April 10th and 11th. After that, he'll be in Nashville for Story wars and headlining Kansas City. For tickets and all the tour dates, please visit bigjaycomedy.com or YouTube.com bigjokarson for all his videos and special and stuff. DJ Lou has Merchant. He's got a brand new T shirt out@comic wearables.com. i think he has a gambling problem. He needs to make some money.

[DJ Lou]

I'm trying to move out of the ghetto.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's trying to. He's got to start paying child support. Government found his bank account.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And his. His Indian girlfriend's like, you have to make money.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His girlfriend's telling me. He goes, we have to move away from your brother.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have to move away. My. My mother wanted doctoral engineer and I settled for dj.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He keeps telling me that he's you and we have sex together. I don't like it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't like it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Perhaps you can sell a shirt or something.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's actually. I hate that photo of me, by the way. It looks just like my mother. It's a great shirt, DJ Lou. Describe it.

[DJ Lou]

It's a stickman Pearl Jam logo that I redrew to say DJ Lou and the Bonfire. It's on comic wearables.com and also my Instagram Lewitsky Lincoln bio.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go get it. Go get there. I actually like the black one with the red bonfire. Very cool. Very cool. And what do we get? 10, Jay. 10 or 15?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was 50.

[Bobby Kelly]

50. Do we get 50?

[DJ Lou]

Lou, you do make. You do make me what I am. But we're really splitting pennies here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, well, you know, what if it takes off? What if it becomes the hottest new shirt?

[DJ Lou]

Then you get a cut.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

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